women. Muslim of agency and freedom the understanding in nuances greater invites halal Online contestable. however, is, matchmaking transactional

business have a flourishing market. The border between between border The market. flourishing a have business halal the Therefore, Muslims. of chastity the guard to of importance the denoting religion, of half as marriage emphasised Muhammad Prophet the that stipulates doctrine theological Islamic matchmaking. Sharia-compliant in media social and internet the of role the on focus will article This publics. Muslim contemporary of growth the of manifestation the and advanced communication technology signifies both the strengthening of conservativism using businesses matchmaking Sharia-compliant of presence thriving The life. public in role agreater playing Islam with coincided platforms media social and internet the Tanpa Pacaran 2014 in founded Indonesia was Other) and Each Know to Get to (MyQuran’s House and Conference Marriage of Seekers Soul the In Malaysia, Malaysia. neighbouring and Indonesia in 2000s the since mushroomed have businesses and Halal Abstract: University National Australian Eva F. Nisa Matchmaking amongMalaysianandIndonesianMuslims Online Halal Introduction Indonesia Malaysia, women, gender, , halal Online, Keywords: and Indonesia since the late1970s andearly1980s canbeseen fromvaried The Islamicresurgence andupsurge inreligiousobservance inMalaysia Halal Speed (permissible according to Islamic law) matchmaking and anti-dating campaigns campaigns anti-dating and law) matchmaking Islamic to according (permissible yber (Indonesia Without Dating) in 2015. In both countries, the presence of of presence the 2015. in Dating) countries, In both Without (Indonesia

Rumah Taaruf 2014. in Rumah launched In Indonesia, was Dating

Dating,Ta’aruf, andtheShariatisationof C yber O rient, Vol. matchmaking and ta’aruf matchmaking

15, Iss. 1, 2021 (getting to know each other) other) each know to (getting halal was established in 2008 2008 in established was and non- and

matchmaking also matchmaking , pp. 231-258 halal

MyQuran online

231 Corresponding author: Eva F. Nisa, Australian National University, Coombs Building, ACT 0200, Australia. E-mail: [email protected] religious activities. but alsoascultural productsthatmediate social,political,economic, and anthropologically, notonlyasinstitutions,andcommunicativepractices, Speed DatingandSoulSeekers . This articleapproachessocialmedia Observations weremadeduring eventsorganised bytheplatformsHalal sources werecollectedthrough participantobservationsandinterviews. Putrajaya andJakartabetween20152019. The primarydata digital ethnography, thefieldworkwasconductedinKualaLumpur, a marriagepartneramongMuslimsinIndonesiaand Malaysia.Besides matchmaking initiatives,thisarticlelooksatcurrent trendsinchoosing Drawing onethnographicfieldworkamongorganisers ofonlinehalal What aboutthemostcurrentphenomenoninfinding Muslimspouses? of freedominchoosingamarriagepartner. Milner (2008,190)argues thatoneofthemain reasonsfordivorcewasalack significant contribution to the high number of rates (Jones 1981, 263). Jones 2004, 516). It is noteworthy that -arranged were a and lovemarriageswithmodernitynationalism(Boellstorff 2004,377; areas. Arranged marriagesandearly marriageswereassociatedwithtradition Peninsular Malaysia it wasthenorm,especiallyfor women livinginrural 69; Nisa2011, 808).Jones(1981,261)alsoargued thatlongbefore1950,in was tiedwiththeoccurrencesofchildmarriages(Jones2010,3;Nilan2008, eventually which countries, both in a finding for practices prevalent twenty-one (1981, 259, 265). Historically, arrangedmarriage was one of the around seventeen,whileinthe1970s,averageagewastwentyor Malaysia fromaround1950onwardstheaverageageofmarriageforgirlswas changes whichoccurredfrom1950to1981.HerecordsthatinPeninsular studies onpatternsofMuslimmarriageanddivorceinMalaysia,portraysthe witnessed transformations in Muslim marriage patterns. Jones (1981), in his These two majority MuslimcountriesinSoutheast Asia have constantly presence ofonlinehalal establish ahalal Contemporary Muslimconcernforpietyhasincreasinglyledtoefforts to expressions andhabitsofpiety(Peletz2013;seealsoSloane-White2017). yber (permissible accordingtoIslamiclaw)lifestyle,includingthe C yber dating and online-cum-offline and dating O rient, Vol. 15, Iss. 1, 2021 halal matchmaking.

232 Eva F. Nisa Corriero 2020,150–151). Ali Salaam Swipe in2015(Canada),Minder andin2015(United States;see (United States), (United Kingdom),LoveHabibi in2009(European Arabs),Ishqr in2013 dating applicationsarealso thriving,suchasSinglemuslimcreatedin2000 JDate, matchmaking appshasbeengrowing,suchasCollide , various religious traditions. In recent years, the number of religious-based the growth of anti-Tinder-like platforms offered to cater to believers from and Rumah Taaruf MyQuran(MyQuran’s HousetoGetKnowEachOther), The casespresentedinthisarticle,HalalSpeedDating , in general. participants, theirfamilies,andtheIndonesianMalaysian Muslimpublics matchmaking process can be considered as “doing” online–offline that notonlytheinformationsharedonlineishalal applications. They strivetofacilitatehalal their cautionincopyingnon-halal in thisstudy, especiallytheconceptsofhalal selection ofamarriagepartner. Theological referencesusedbytheplatforms analyses the complexity of “doing” online–offline mix online/offline an of relationships facilitated isbynew media […]” (2018, 19). This study also that interfaces, of constellation novel “a is, there Barendregt argue thatwithinthecontextofMuslimpietyinSoutheast Asia and Slama exists. hardly users many for offline and online between divide “doing” religiononlinecantakevariedforms.Moreimportantly, today’s and Barendregt2018). The dichotomyisuntenable,especiallybecause that theseparationhasbecomeblurred(Helland2007;Nisa2019;Slama typology, hereformulatesonlinereligion andreligion online,emphasising religious communities.Further, whilerespondingtocriticismagainsthis practising ofreligiononline,suchasonlinereligiousritualsand mediums toprovideinformation,and“onlinereligion”referringthe In 2000,Hellandintroduces“religiononline”referringtousingonline et al. 2019, 11; Bunt 2009, 105; De Rooij 2020, 6; Rochadiat, Tong and Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran yber CROSSPATHS, andJfiix . Muslimweb-baseddating sitesandmobile Muzmatch in 2014 (United Kingdom and Bangladesh), C yber O rient, Vol. (Indonesia Without Dating), remind us of web-based datingsitesandmobile 15, Iss. online matchmakingbyensuring and Shariacompliance,signify halal 1, 2021 but alsothattheentire matchmaking and the ChristianMingle, Soul Seekers, halal byits

233 Eva F. Nisa understanding agency inthecapacity toactand makedecisions. Mahmood (2001), McNay (2018),and Werbner (2018) –forexample,have focusedon in abroader discussion ofreligionand gender. Scholars–likeMahmood are nuances,however, inunderstandingfemalesubmissionandagency in the West as oppressed and backward (see Abu-Lughod 2006). There personal agency, especiallyforMuslimwomenwhoareoftenrepresented dating applications,often emphasise howtheseplatformsenablegreater Studies onmatchmakingplatforms,includingweb-based datingandmobile in thiscontext. spheres whichencompassvariedinitiativesandthatnew mediaisimportant argue thattheMuslimpublicsarebornfrom articulations onIslaminpublic Eisenstadt’s “multiplemodernities,”SalvatoreandEickelman(2004,xi) believe isal-maslaha al-ʿāmma clearly denoteafragmentationofreligiousauthorityin achievingwhatthey hijrah getting toknoweachother) including thereplacementofdatingwithta’aruf emphasise a return to what they perceive to be an Islamic lifestyle, have aspecialconnectionwithvariousIslamicandIslamistmovements, type ofpublicIslaminIndonesia. The hijrah better Muslims) The current emergence ofhijrah Peletz 2013,607). significant appeal with young, educated Malaysians (1995, 147–148; see also dakwah and hasboostedanti-Tinder initiatives. Ongmentionsthatinthe1970s increasing numberofyoungMuslimswantingtoaccentuatetheirreligiosity Muslim publics, in both countries since the late 1970s is evident from the welcoming Tinder (Valentina 2019). The growthofnewpublics,especially dating, someyoungpeopleinthesecountrieshavealsobeenhesitant Given IndonesiaandMalaysiaareconsideredtobe“conservative”about of themostpopularmobiledatingapplicationsglobally(seeDuguay2017). The application Tinder, whichlaunchedinSeptember2012,hasbeenone movements, whocampaignforta’aruf yber (daʿwa, in Arabic, orproselytising)movementinMalaysiagained movements in Indonesia is a manifestation of a specific a of manifestation a is Indonesia in movements C yber O rient, Vol. before marriage. Young Muslimsinitiatingthe (common good)forpublicIslam.Following (religious transformationtobecome 15, Iss. and 1, 2021 movements, whichoften halal ( , in Arabic, taʿāruf, matchmaking, also or or

234 Eva F. Nisa of (seeFigure 1). during thiseventcalledHalalSpeedDating , aneventwhichIhadnever heard (Nisa andSaenong2018,49). What struckmethemostwas aprogramme which wasfoundedintheUnited Kingdomin2007andMalaysia2011 organised bytransnational non-governmentalorganisation Mercy Mission, On December26and27,2015inMalaysia,Iattended a fancydakwah Online–Offline HalalMatchmakingPlatforms study arealsoprominent. liberating andempoweringaspectsofhalal reputation andhonourofthehousehold”(2012, 425). The perceived flow of ‘inside’ information to the outside world […] may threaten the monitored bythehusbandandfamily. This distrustarisesbecauseofthe how “themobilephoneisviewedasanobjectofdistrust,unlessit 419). Doron, in his study of mobile phone use in North India, explicates as “disruptive,”especiallywithinpatriarchalcommunities(Doron2012, liberating andempoweringaspectsofthesetechnologieshavebeenseen as phonesandmobilephones,haveraisedthisissue(seeDoron2012). The relations (Nisa2019).Scholarswhoseworkfocusesontechnology, such platforms hasthepotentialtochallengeauthorityandhegemonicgender The presenceofcommunicationtechnologies,theinternetandsocialmedia themselves online. Mahmood’s phrase(2001),beganthemomenttheydecidedtoregister online–offline participating intheseplatformscanbeseenthroughouttheprocessof of Islampertainingtomarriagewithoutdating. The agencyofwomen the platformsinthisstudyaremostlymenwhoholdstrictunderstandings subjects oftheirreligiouscultures(Abu-Lughod2013). The brainsbehind 2001, (Mahmood 203). Othershavecriticisedthosewhooftenseewomenasoppressed andcreate” enable of subordination relations specific argues thatagencyshouldbeseen“asacapacityforactionhistorically yber halal C yber matchmaking. Their “capacity for action,” to borrow O rient, Vol. 15, Iss. matchmaking platformsinmy 1, 2021 1 event

235 Eva F. Nisa has become moreaccepting interms ofdating, intermsof cohabiting, but time. Today […]itbecomes commonespeciallyamong Muslimswherelife Maestro.” Hussain contendsthat“thevalue ofmarriagehasbeeneroded over Hussain wasbornandraised intheUKandisalsoknownas“Marriage Soul Seekers. marriage-related services, including ahalal by At thesameevent,Idiscoveredabazaarboothcalled Marriage During thatevent,Ilearnthalal means: oneoftheearliestonlineandchattingplatforms, mIRC. Another founder, Norhayati,alsometherhusband throughunconventional a at meeting first their after months four merely –onanotherhalal In 2012,hemethiswife,Munirah Tunai –whoalsobecameinvolvedinHalal matchmaking program.Zuhrihadinsiderexperienceof halal only helping Azmi but also other Malay Muslims to find spousesteased throughAzmi who wasstillsingle. This ledthemtocomeupwithanideaofnot a Yuhyi, NorhayatiIsmail,andSyed Azmi. ItbeganwhenZuhriandNorhayati The HalalSpeedDatingwasinitiatedin2014byanetworkoffriendsZuhri author). Figure 1:Segregatedentrance for male and female Marriage Conference (seeFigure2),whichisanother platformthatoffers 2 yber Marriage Conference wasfoundedin2008bySajid Hussain. C yber O rient, Vol. matchmaking platform. The couplemarried matchmaking wasanewtrendinMalaysia. 15, Iss. Halal SpeedDatingparticipants (photo: matchmaking servicecalled 1, 2021 halal matchmaking event. matchmaking. QA, owned halal

236 Eva F. Nisa Pakistan, Australia, and South Africa. and Pakistan, Australia, Conference hasorganised eventsinvariouscountries,including Turkey, the leadingIslamicmarriageserviceprovider. BasedinMalaysia,Marriage adds thatsinceitsestablishmentin2008,MarriageConference hasbeen

signify anincreasing presenceofthehalal isation oftheMuslim lifestyle. trend, and similar to Malaysia’s and Although theseinitiativesare notrelatedstructurally, RumahTaaruf Tanpa Pacaran,werefoundedin2014and2015 respectively(seeFigure3). two otherplatformsinthis study, RumahTaaruf MyQuran andIndonesia the example, For partners. marriage find Muslims help to initiatives thriving Partai PonselandAishaWedding areplatformsthatwereinspiredbythe which offered , secretmarriage,andchildmarriageservices. were offended bythepresenceofshort-lived platformAishaWedding marriage servicesunderitsprogrammenikahsirri.com . In2021,Indonesians (Cellphone Party) offering “halal” virginity auctions and “halal” In 2017,Indonesiawasrockedbythescandalouspresence ofPartaiPonsel Figure 2:MarriageConference Booth not marriage.” which hebelieves“cansavetheumma Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran arepartofabroadermovementta’aruf ofthe yber 3 This phenomenonledhimtocreateMarriageConference , C yber O rient, Vol. Halal Speed Dating and 5

[Muslim communityglobally].” 15, Iss. 1, 2021 Soul Seekers, they MyQuran secret 4 He

237 Eva F. Nisa Speed Dating Halalisation ofMatchmaking inMalaysia:SoulSeekersandHalal Figure 3:IndonesiaTanpa Pacaran ’s offlineevent of Islam”(2017,3). transformed bythembuthowcapitalisminthissettingempowersthespread how thespreadofglobalcapitalismtransformslivesMuslimsandis capitalist experience,alsoremindsustotryunderstand“[…]notonly 2012, 39;Sloane-White2017).Sloane-White,inherstudyontheMuslim “religious ethics”and“economicpractices”(2009,106;seealsoHoesterey Rudnyckyj calls“Islamicspiritualeconomy”referringtoamerging of and business matchmaking conventional, non-halal online–offline their between difference main business emphasisedtheconceptofhalal applications, tocatertheneedsofcontemporaryMuslims.Peoplein and initiatives,suchasweb-basedmatchmakingsitesmobiledating of conservativestrains,toadopt,adjust,andappropriateglobalproducts how globalcapitalismhasattractedcreativeMuslims,includingthose online–offline these of presence The singlehood. Yet, beingsingleand unmarriedhasbeenconsidered ananomaly Malaysia has witnessed arisingnumberof delayedmarriagesandresultantly yber

C yber O platforms. This phenomenonalignswithwhat rient, Vol. halal 15, Iss. matchmaking platforms reflects platforms matchmaking and non-halal 1, 2021 (haram) asthe

238 Eva F. Nisa messages indeedforpeoplewhothink!” He engendersloveandtendernessbetweenyou:inthis,behold,thereare you matesoutofyourownkind,sothatmightinclinetowardsthem,and (30:21), for example, states, “and among His wonders is this: He creates for a potential spouse.Many ofthemwere alsoworried aboutthepressure ofbeing Most women who I interviewed complained about having limited time to find their websites. these religiousinjunctions during interviews,inpublicstatementsandon Rumah Taaruf MyQuran , andIndonesiaTanpa Pacaranalsooftenreferto class Muslims,thefounders andstaff oftheSoulSeeker, Evidently understandingthenatureoftheirmarket, mainly urbanmiddle- including theirfamilieswhosupporttheminthismarital pathwayinitiative. Syahidah’s concernwasalsosharedbyalloftheparticipantsinthisstudy, Muslims to neglect this practice. The Qur’an insūrah Muslims toneglectthispractice. The Qur’an importance ofnikāh they donotmarry. Verses andanumberof ḥadīth mentionthe intheQur’an sexual urges and are afraid of committing zina gain rewards.Itcanchangeintowājib meaning those who abandon it are not sinful, yet those who conduct it will a (Razif2021,9–10). The basicrulingofmarriageinIslamissunnah second, third,orfourthwivesduetothepressurebemarriedandbecome human beings). Somewell-educatedmaturewomenareevenwilling to be interaction betweenGodandthebeliever) a religiousactinIslam,combinationbetweenʿibādah 80). Therefore, the pressure to marry is high, given that marriage is deemed in Malaysia,particularlyamongMalayMuslimwomen(SailiandSaili2018, these about marriage. Syahidah (pseudonym), a 36-year-old participant of one of the otherhalf.” This verseandḥadīthprovideatheologicalbasisforanxiety gets married,hehasperfectedhalfofthereligion;and he shouldfear Allah in person a “when said: had he states Muḥammad, Prophet of companions the sunnah says, “marriageismysunnah[pathortradition],whoeverdisregards Islam marriageissunnah, halal yber is notfromme[mynation].” Another ḥadīthnarratedby Anas, oneof matchmaking platforms,forexample,says,“weallknow thatin C yber (marriage), O right? Iamalready36,sothepressureishigh.” rient, Vol. which have made it difficult for unmarried for difficult it made have which (obligatory) forthosewhohavestrong 15, Iss. 6 Inaddition,awell-knownḥadīth and muʿāmalah (adultery and fornication) if 1, 2021 Halal SpeedDating, (act ofdevotion,the (chapter) (dealings among Ar-Rūm 7

239 Eva F. Nisa the in MalaysiahasitsownversionofSyariahCriminalOffences whichcovers 20th century(Mohamad2020,171;seealsoIsmail2016, 908).Everystate precautionary measures,ithasbeendeemedillegalsince thebeginningof Khalwat to sexualproprietyappliedonlyMuslimsunderSyariahcriminallaws. (illicit closeproximitybetweengenders)whichispartofaregulationrelating Malaysia, dating is subject to punishment. This pertains to the law of The statealsoplaysanimportantroleinrulingpublicmorality. ForMuslimsin Hefner 2019,99). jual mahal(playing difficult; Saili and Saili 2018, 80; in Indonesia see Smith- old virgins andoldmaidenseitherbecausetheyaretaklaku(notsellable)or or oldmaiden). The commonassumptionisthatunmarriedwomenbecome anak daratua(andartu,oroldvirgin) andanakdaralanjutusia(andalusia, in twoinfamoustermsusedtodesignateunmarriedwomenthecountry, 169), forexample,stipulatesinsection27“Khalwat”: which isoftenregardedasthemodelbyfederalgovernment (Hui2017, able to find a then?” husband a find to able to doanythingelse.Myfamilyareworriedseeingmesingle,buthowamI 39 years old,says,“Iamverybusyeveryday. (pseudonym), After working,Idonothavetime Noraida piety. filial or ) to respect and (kindness stillcrucial is it to receiveparents’ restu online, a spouse find to them enabling effect liberating a single whichusuallycamefromtheirfamilies. Although socialmediahashad khalwat yber his wifeormahram (a) manwhoisfoundtogether withoneormorewomen,notbeing Any- in any secluded place orinahouse orroom under circumstances her husbandor mahram, (b) womanwhoisfoundtogether withoneormoremen,notbeing is prohibitedduetotheassumptionthatitwillleadzina,thus,for ruling. C Syariah Criminal Offences (Federal Territories) Act 1997, yber (approval), O rient, Vol. 9 ; or 8 The strong stigma of being single is reflected is single being of stigma strong The birr al-wālidayn inherent intheideaofbirr 15, Iss. 1, 2021 khalwat

240 Eva F. Nisa income andcareer plan; andspouse preferences, suchas maritalstatus such asgender anddateofbirth;career information,suchasoccupation, information, personal requesting form profile a complete Users registration. processes ofbothHalalSpeedDating andSoulSeekersbeginfromonline The same as other web-based dating sites and mobile dating applications, the to maintaintheirhalalness. because participantsdonothaveaccesstothedetailsof others. They dothis main offline events. The process of selecting a spouse does not happen online to profiles their showcase to doors participant’s the as serve mostly platforms online carefully. The processes offline and online the balance to try Seekers Soul Seekersparticipantsbetween20and35 of age(Rochadiat, Tong andCorriero 2020,144),andHalalSpeedDating overlaps, mobiledatingapplicationusersareusuallybetween 16and34years “Halal, Muslims, alsooftenreferstotheconceptofhalal noteworthy thatMuzmatch,oneofthepopularmobiledatingapplicationsfor Muslim web-baseddatingsitesandmobileapplications.Itis They accentuatetheirhalal highlight thattheyoffer aSharia-compliantorhalalplatformforMuslims. that theyarenotadatingservice.BothHalal Speed DatingandSoulSeekers by This statementcanbefoundonSoulSeekers’ websiteandisoftenmentioned We are notadatingservice! law principles. country, opposesconventionaldating asitisdeemedtobeviolatingIslamic This kindofruling,inadditiontothebroaderspiritShariatisation Halal SpeedDatingandSoulSeekers,whichthenallowsinvitationstothe Soul Seekersfounderandstaff. Similarly, HalalSpeedDatingemphasises yber a termnotexceedingtwoyearsortoboth. to a fine not exceeding three thousand ringgit or to imprisonment for acts shallbeguiltyofanoffence andshallonconvictiontobeliable which maygiverisetosuspicionthattheywereengagedinimmoral is itmeyou’relookingfor?” The agerangeofparticipants also C yber O rient, Vol. approaches astheirmaindifference fromother 15, Iss. 11 . Halal SpeedDatingandSoul 1, 2021 10 in itsjargon, forexample,

241 Eva F. Nisa big meetingroom(seeFigure4). Soul Seekersgatherselectedparticipantsfromtheironlineplatformsintoone matchmaking programme. During the offline events, Halal SpeedDatingandSoulSeekers, where offline events are the core of the matchmaking event. Hereliesthemaindifference betweenmobiledatingapplicationsand offline the to invite will they participants many how decide to profiles all reviews team I preferMonogamy.” The HalalSpeedDating for asecondwifeetc.;IDON’T mindbeinginaPolygamousmarriage;[…] . Lookingforanotherwifemyhusband;IamaMarriedman. to have a polygamous marriage, there is a set of polygamy questions: “I am a wear aHijab;I TRY towearHijab.” To catertotheneedsofthosewhowant Sunnah [recommended]prayeraswell;”forhijab to chooseamong“Ipray5timesaday;tryIdothe pertaining toprayersanddonningofthehijab questions also are there and spouseagepreference.InHalalSpeedDating the team collectsthe formsandcontact thecandidates whomatch. event, the of end the candidates. At selected their of ballot a cast to required provided with a select amount of time to speak to each other and are then and theycannotexchangecontact detailsduringoraftertheevents. They are main events, the all participantsarenumbered. Thus, theydonotknoweach other’s name During matchmaking. offline the before meeting no and participants and their contact numbers. Thus, there is no communication Both platformsdonotprovideparticipantsaccess to picturesofother 4: The Figure yber Halal SpeedDating C yber O rient, Vol. participantscometotheface-to-facemainevent. 15, Iss. (veil) askingtheparticipants 1, 2021 “I wearaHijab;IDON’T Halal SpeedDatingand

242 Eva F. Nisa to dating.” arguing thattheirplatformisdifferent, “weoffer apathwaytomarriagenot in “dating” term the question especially They practices. true teachingofIslambymixingpermissibleandimpermissiblematchmaking “halal porkor Soul SeekershascriticisedHalalSpeedDating’s practice,analogisingitas to preventfitna(temptationleadingunlawfulbehaviour). participant tobechaperonedbyaparent,relative,orfriend. This isinorder Sharia-compliant platformisthattheymakeitcompulsoryforeveryfemale the to key the addition, In details. contact exchanging or touching, flirting, haram aspects that make them compliant ofteninterchangeably. According toHalalSpeedDating , the and soundslike.Bothplatformsusetheconceptsofhalal there areinternalcontestationson what halalonlinematchmaking looks Although I likethis kindofformat becausethere isnokhalwat about (pseudonym), a64-year-old manwho accompaniedhisson,shared hisfeelings Rizwan process. the of phases following the in involvement require Shariatisation andhalalisation, to usetheplatformandsubmit theirapplications.Undertheumbrellaof decide they when process selection the of phase first the in clearly seen be The agenticcapacityoftheparticipants,includingfemale participants,can processes ofIslamisationinMalaysiathatisnotmonolithic (2013,625). not monolithic. This alignswithPeletz’s argument onthecomplexity ofthe the pay 99 MYR, are obliged to attend a conference delivered by preachers from Muslims inbuildingahappyfamily, SoulSeekersparticipants,whohaveto discussion (seeFigure4).Second,aspartofitswider projectoneducating from grouped into five men and women and supervised by the facilitators. Different by emphasising that: First, during circle. The contestation also signifies that signifies also contestation The circle. Soul Seekers Halal SpeedDating,theyarenotallowedtohaveaone-on-onedirect Halal SpeedDating : “Ididnotknow aboutthisearlier. Mysontold me. yber (impermissible) elementsduringtheface-to-faceevent,suchas 13 Halal SpeedDatingandSoulSeekerssharemanysimilarities,

Soul Seekersdifferentiates themselvesfromHalalSpeedDating C alcohol” yber halal O rient, Vol. 12 or Sharia-compliant are that they do not allow signifyingthattheplatformdoesnotoffer the Soul SeekersandHalalSpeedDating Soul Seekers’ event,the participants are 15, Iss. 1, 2021 (close proximity). Iwill Halal SpeedDating halalisation is and Sharia-

243 Eva F. Nisa latter phaseofthematchmakingselectionprocess. the in selection spouse of trend deindividualized the reflects matchmaking the participants’ parents.Indeed,theShariatisationorhalalisationofonline or generation older the by positively to responded been has spouse a finding of practice changing the how signifies chaperones of presence The public. and ShariahavebeensuccessfulingainingsupportfromthewiderMalaysian between thetwoplatforms,waytheyhave“monopolised”termshalal they believe is the true path of Islam. Although there is internal contestation is Sharia-compliant. This referstothezealoftheseMuslimsreturnwhat that encourageseveryaspectofMuslimlifetoalignwithwhattheybelieve Speed DatingandSoulSeekerscanberegardedaspartoftheShariacraze in anElectrical Engineering Programme. Herecounts, “Ialso knowmywife he studiedat Institut Teknologi Bandung(Bandung Instituteof Technology) connection with thedakwahmovement. Tri began tounderstandta’aruf (the Welfare Justice Party).Indeed,thefoundersofRTM andITP haveastrong Egypt whichlatergavebirth totheIslamistpartyPartaiKeadilanSejahtera al-Muslimīn (theMuslimBrotherhood) in movement inspiredbyal-Ikhwān country (Nisa2011, 808). An exampleisthe Tarbiyah movement,adakwah the their focusonta’aruf ranging between25and35yearsofage. Their oppositiontowardsdatingand Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran(ITP)createdbyLaOdeMunafarwithparticipants offline (RTM) foundedby Tri Wahyu Nugrohowhichaimstoprovideanonline– The twoplatformsstudiedinIndonesiaare:(1)RumahTaaruf Grounding time.” recommend thistomyfriends,especiallyifsonisberjaya diligently. Idonotwanttohaveason-in-lawwhodoespray.” day a times five prays who Insya someone meet will she willing] [God Allah daughter. Iamnervousnow. Ididnothavethisbefore.But,nowisdifferent. Noorayna (pseudonym).Shesharedherfeelings:“Iamaccompanyingmy I metRaihana(pseudonym),a66-year-old lady accompanying herdaughter ta’aruf 14 halal yber Outside the venue of initiatives zealouslysupportedbyconservativemovements inthe platform forMuslimswhowanttogetmarriedwithoutdating; (2) Ta’aruf inIndonesia C yber before marriagecanberegardedasacontinuationof O rient, Vol. Halal Speed Dating, while waiting for the event, 15, Iss. 1, 2021 [successful] this MyQuran 15

Halal when

244 Eva F. Nisa of thismovement. murabbiyah matchmaking hasusuallybeenfacilitatedbymurabbi and cohesion(seealsoNisa2011, 797). followers members groups. The wayMunafar usesthese platformsresonates with Madianouand work together to spread the movement’s Sejahtera isaimedatcreatingwhattheybelieveasadakwah and Faturochman2011, 65). Education) andBKKBS(the Welfare FamilyCounsellingBureau;Savitri Sejahtera, forexample,createdaprogrammecalledTarbiyah Aliyah Movement istheircommitment.In2006,itspoliticalvehiclePartaiKeadilan (see alsoSmith-Hefner2019,37).Creatingthefamilyof Tarbiyah Within the Tarbiyah Movementdatingisforbiddenandta’aruf programmes. mentoring Islamic through especially students, secondary to influence their for highschoolstudents,inwhich Tarbiyah activistsareactiveinspreading or IslamicSpirituality).Rohisisadakwahfocusofthe Tarbiyah movement ta’aruf Tarbiyah from mymentor”throughta’aruf Fan Pagefollowedby502 thousand campaigns, includingInstagram with970thousandfollowers campus who wanttoperformhijrah orto“returnIslam,”including Rohisand ITP haspopularisedtheta’aruf men andwomeninIndonesiaaresomeofhisstimulito initiate ITP. Munafar’s number ofabortions,aswelltheforbiddenrelationships betweenmarried . Hisconcernsaboutthedangersofpromiscuity, theincreasing admits thathismissionistohelpothersbreakupwith theirgirlfriendsor Through the influence of Rohis activities by the Tarbiyah Movement, Munafar and, sometimes,pictures. yber from high school, when he was active in Rohis (Kerohanian Islam dakwah activists.ITP uses variouschannelsforitsonlinedakwah 19 21 ta’aruf , YouTube with7.17thousand subscribers , Telegram with1.70thousand subscribers (female mentor),atleastduringtheearlyphaseofpresence inspired himtocreateRTM. LaOdeMunafarunderstood 16 C This involvesexchangingpersonaldata,curriculumvitae, yber O rient, Vol. Religious homogamywithinPartaiKeadilan before he finally married her in 2008. The 2008. in her married finally he before trend, especiallyamongyoungMuslims 18 , FacebookGroupwith861.4 thousand dakwah 15, Iss. Within the Tarbiyah Movement, and to cement groupidentity 1, 2021 20 , Twitter with 5thousand 22 , Line,and WhatsApp (male mentor)and family whocan 17 is thenorm , Facebook (Family

245 Eva F. Nisa see a strong influence from the Tarbiyah movement. Looking closelyatthematchmakingprocedureadopted byRTM wecanalso Nisa 2019,445). Seto, OkiSetianaDewi,ZaskiaSungkar, Irwansyah,and Vebby Palwinta (see better Muslims,suchas Teuku Wisnu, DewiSandra, Arie Untung, Dimas conduct who figures public of presence the by supported in particular, their face.” there isahumanistic sidethattheywant toseetheprospectivematch too, ago, Iusedto hidethepicturefrom bio.Butafterlongconsideration, a pictureinthishalal be uploadedtotheirwebsite. Tri understandsthecontroversyofproviding accounts –andtheywillselect thebiosandnumberthemsothattheycan to submit their shortbio–withoutnames,contact numbers, andsocialmedia the slowestgapbetweenpostsisonehour.” we haveatarget of1kadditionalfollowersonInstagram[…]OnInstagram, day, “every recounts, Munafar frequency. posting the scheduling prudently carefully mappingthetarget audience,mostnotablyyoungMuslims,and crafts theITP toreachitsobjectiveofcementingpublicopinion. This includes create publicopiniontocounterthemainstreamdatingculture.Hecarefully or broadcastthecontentsofITP kajian circle) on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. MunafarasksITP memberstoshare In thenameofdakwah, believe that“datingcanruinthefutureofIndonesian young generations.” to minds and hearts public influence to opinions strong create continuously way Munafarusedvariousavenuestoadjustdiversecontexts,namely, to and theirrelationships”(2013,172). This, forexample,canbeseenfromthe it ishowusersexploittheseaffordances inordertomanagetheiremotions not onlyreferstoanenvironmentofabundantmediaresourcesbut“[…] Miller’s conceptofpolymedia.MadianouandMillerargue thatpolymedia The online and offline campaigns of of those like RTM. flourish, to Indonesia in initiatives door formanyta’aruf presence ofITP throughitsvariouschannels can beregardedasanimportant books, aswellconductingralliesagainstdatingcultureinthecountry. The also organises offline activities, such as seminars, giveaway bulletins and free yber C yber matchmaking scheme,however, heargues, “longtime 26 ITP hasaroutine WhatsApp kajian(Islamicstudy O Ifthere isamatch, then theycan askeachother rient, Vol. ta’aruf 15, Iss. in theirsocialmediaaccountsto and “nodatinginIslam”arealso 24 Besidesonlineactivities,ITP 1, 2021 25

RTM asksitsparticipants hijrah to become 23

246 Eva F. Nisa analysing theposition ofwomenisespecially important. Women’s participation Looking closely atthepracticeofhalal varied ijtihad(independentreasoning)when facingnewconditions. different interpretations ofhalalness the only not reflect dating applications. These varied practicesofhalalness maintained todifferentiate betweentheirta’aruf (led in the prayer) by their .” Usuallywomenwanttobediimami ability ofthemantoreadQur’an. mediator asks the man to read Trithe Qur’an. says, “the aim is to find out the mentioned thataround hub of Tarbiyah activities andcampusdakwah central a as known widely are mosques Indeed, mosques. mostly are which offline of place the from seen be can compliance Sharia of version online and early interactions between candidates also occur online. RTM’s events. RTM, ontheotherhand,facilitateschoosingofprospectivespouses matchmaking offline main their for tools as serve which mediums Speed DatingandSoulSeekerstrytolimitthemselvescreateonline and contestationregardingwhatishalalareprevalentinthiscontext.Halal initiative ishalalorSharia-compliant. The variedinterpretationsofhalalness All theplatformsinthisstudyclaimthattheyfollowShariarulings,their Halal Onlineand Women’s Agency? and parents’ rightsinIslam. later phaseofta’aruf of Tarbiyah version online-cum-offline organised more a as regarded be can practice of each other’s familyandtheirclosecircleoffriendscolleagues. This kind the presenceofamediator. Ifthey both agreetocontinue,theycanintroduce with meeting face-to-face direct a by followed email, via questions further in thista’aruf to arrangeamarriage. Tri states,“wewillnotallowsomeonetoparticipate offline the after months six of maximum a RTMallows mechanism, The halal yber aura can be seen from the procedure of offline ta’aruf. SimilartoSoulSeekersandHalalSpeedDating,RTM’s who isplanningtoarrangethemarriagenextyear.” C yber also involvesparents’ restu 70–80 percent of offline of percent 70–80 O rient, Vol. but alsosignifyhowMuslims produce 27 15, Iss. To maintain its Sharia-compliant matchmaking ontheseplatforms, platform andMuslimmobile ta’aruf 1, 2021 in ordertohonourparents activities ingeneral. Tri are held in mosques. in held are ta’aruf in whichthe 28 This is This ta’aruf ta’aruf

247 Eva F. Nisa auctions” initiatedby nikahsirri.com, andchild marriageby AishaWedding. illegal business, such as online unregistered siri (secret) marriage, “virginity varied keyplayers inonlinedatingand online marriageservicespractising violence againstwomen(Nisa 2018,301). This isduetothepresenceof progressive Muslimwomen’s activistsandIslamicfeminists whencombating by faced problems significant become have relations, gender and Islam of dating campaignsinitiated byMuslimswithconservativeunderstandings this complexity, onlinedating,marriageservices,ta’aruf, to thinkcarefullyaboutthecomplexityofnotion ofagency. Adding to and religiousgroup. A carefulanalysisofthispractice,however, invitesus matchmaking andtonavigatethestrictprotocolsupheld bytheircommunity and RTM inthestagewhenthey registertobetheparticipantsofhalal Women’s agencycanbeseenclearlyinHalalSpeedDating , platforms. over spouseselectionandinteractionsmadepossiblevia participationonthe matchmaking, thedisruptionisevidencethroughwomen’s greatercontrol especially within strong patriarchal communities. In the context of and empoweringaspectsofthetechnologiescanbeperceivedasdisruptive, strict Muslimlifestylesareunabletoexercisetheiragency. These liberating online matchmakingchallengestheassumptionthatwomenlivingwithin and “nodatingculture”amongconservativeMuslimsinIndonesia,halal mixing isstrictlyregulated,likethroughtheanti-khalwat heart talk, opening up emotionally” (2010, 323). In contexts wheregender users of online chats are “raising personal problems, having a heart-to- agency” (2020, 15).Slamausestheterm“agencyofheart”referringtoway and freedom on discourse postmodern the to related is offline, or concept ofcourting,andinturn,lovemarriage,whetherinitiatedonline 2012, 418;DeRooij2020,15;Slama2010,316).contends,“the agency, andexpressionofself(Alietal.2019,2;Bennett2005,101;Doron Muslim women,oftenmentionhowtheseactivitiessignifywomen’s freedom, on onlinedating,internetchatting,andmobileliteracy, includingthoseof participants andninehundredfemaleparticipants. At thesametime,studies both countries.InRTM, forexample,theyusuallyhavetwohundredmale in these yber halal matchmaking platforms exceeds the participation of men in C yber O rient, Vol. 15, Iss. 1, 2021 policy inMalaysia Soul Seekers, and no halal

248 Eva F. Nisa Instagram followers) @beraninikahtakutpacaran (@daretomarryfearofdating,145thousand The the mainconcernofwomen’s movementsinthecountry(Nisa2020,83). has encouragedthespreadofearlymarriagepracticeswhichbecome In addition,thegrowthofonlineta’aruf (2001, 203). whose desire, affect, andwill havebeenshapedbynonliberal traditions.” sharply limits our ability to understand and interrogate the lives of women about agencyasasynonym forresistanceaccordingtoMahmood,“[…] religious systems(Mahmood 2001;McNay2018; Werbner 2018). Thinking be expressedintheirparticipation inreligiousmovementsandpatriarchal new formsofagencyandhowwomen’s agencyoragenticcapacitycan kind ofassumptionandemphasisedhowreligiouspractices mightfacilitate mate selection,isamisunderstanding.Manyscholars havechallengedthis to patriarchalsystemsorinthecontextofthisstudy, patriarchalaspectsof religion. The assumptionthatwomenareoppressed duetotheirsubmission submission hasbecomeoneoftheconundrumsin studyofwomenand their agencyduetopatriarchalnormsguidingthispractice. This aspectof them.” signifies that “men are winning to choose, while women are winning to refuse refuse himifshefeelstheydonotmatch. Tri argues thatthisarrangement can she or email, via questions some asking by better man the know to get they willnotcontacther. The selectedwomancanaccepttheinvitationto female candidate,thenRTM willcontacttheselectedwoman,ifnotthen a likes man a If them. to it forwards first. then candidates RTM female the Tri mentioned that mostly men request the detailed personal information of an importantroleintheprocessofmatching,especiallycaseRTM. The notion of women’s agency might be questioned when the mediators play rise ofdivorces. popularity, amidstthecountry’s longbattleagainstearlymarriagesandthe thousand Instagramfollowers) (@earlymarriagemovement, 434thousandInstagramfollowers) ta’aruf 32 yber This mightseemthatwomendo nothavefullcapacitytoexercise and onlineearlymarriagecampaignslike@gerakannikahmuda C 30 yber , and@dakwahjomblo(@singleMuslim’s dakwah,613 O rient, Vol. 31 , have garnered significant online and offline and online significant garnered have , 15, Iss. campaigns, suchasMunafar’s ITP, 1, 2021 29 ,

249 Eva F. Nisa birr al-wālidayn . process through parent’s restu deindividualizing theprocess, whichisapparentinthelaterstagesof the platforms’ halal but infact,itdoesnottotally individualisetheentireprocess.Indeed, be seenasapushtocompletely individualisedmarriagepartnerselection, selection throughhalal This studydemonstratestheambivalenceofprocess ofmarriagepartner a spousebyindividualsthroughtheassistanceof advanced technology. gradual transformationfromparent-arrangedmarriage tothechoosingof the and women, for particularly partners, marriage finding in difficulties of nowadays bothcountriesfacethecomplicatedandoften contradictorytrend of marriageinMalaysiaandIndonesia,especially in theurbancontext, While earlierstudieshaveshownpositivetrendsin theincreasingage Conclusion are made. Analysing theiragencyshouldconsiderthecontextsinwhichchoices participating inthiskindofinitiativeenablesthemtoexercisetheiragency. feeling “rejected”attheearlystageofta’aruf. Many womenshareSalamah’s view. The system for them saves themfrom participant, recountsherstory: experience shamefromearlyrejection.Salamah(pseudonym),a25-year-old that thispracticeindeedcansavetheirdignitysotheydonothaveto man isalsothemanifestationofthesewomen’s agency. Manyofthem believe Therefore, followingthe“ruleofgame”inRTM bynotnominatingthe yber reject ouroffer forta’aruf. men, but then when the RTM as themediator contacts them they all continue ornot.RatherthanweinformRTM thatwelikethisand [women’s] to our want in we hand. is Whether decision the but first, I likethesysteminRTM. Ithinkitisgreattoletthemenchoose C yber or Sharia-compliantlabels signifytheimportanceof online–offline matchmaking. The platforms might platforms The matchmaking. online–offline O rient, Vol. as the manifestation of Islamic filial piety or piety filial Islamic of manifestation the as 33 15, Iss. 1, 2021 Thus, forthesewomen,

250 Eva F. Nisa reviewers for theirhelpfulcommentson anearlierversionofthis article. I amindebtedtoMartinSlama, JamesB.Hoesterey, andtwo anonymous Acknowledgements the incessantcompetitionoverlegitimateinterpretations ofIslamicteachings. time, thepresenceoftheseplatformsusingreligiouslanguage demonstrates the expansionofMuslimcapitalistexperiencesinboth countries. At thesame halal and the online world. The concerns of using the terms Sharia-compliant and about therelationshipbetweenreligion,religiouscommunities, economiclife, applications tostrengthentheirhalal matchmaking platformsandtheiremphasisonbeingdifferent tomobiledating This articlealsodemonstrateshowthepresenceofthese halal selection. women’s abilitytooutstriptheirshyness andtakecontrolofmarriagepartner virtues of shyness and feminine passivity. These platforms demonstrate total submissiveness,asmentionedbyMahmood,whichcaninvolvecultivated norms upheldbytheplatforms.Indeed,agencyofthesewomenisbeyond agency, however, canbeseenintheircapacitytoactandnavigatepatriarchal this understandingofagencyasasynonymforresistancetodomination,their a lackofagency. Aligning withtheviewsofscholarswhohavechallenged with confused be might selection, mate of process whole the in reflected is of women to patriarchal norms, which is embedded in these platforms and often complicates the understanding of the notion of agency. The submission fact thathalal of womenandyouth(seee.g., Ali etal.2019;DeRooij2020).However, the mobile datingapplicationsisconsideredbymanyasindicatingtheagency matchmaking services. The mushroomingofweb-baseddatingsitesand the growthofonlineearlymarriagecampaignsaswellhalal expression asamanifestationofgrowingMuslimpublics,hasfacilitated The resurgence of piety, evident inincreasingratesofpublic religious Choerul Rizal.Errors, ifany, aresolelymine. I wouldalso like toacknowledgetheinvaluable researchassistance ofNur signify theongoingspiritofShariatisation Muslim lifestyles and yber matchmaking isinitiatedinthenameofShariacompliance C yber O rient, Vol. position reflects long-standing debates long-standing reflects position 15, Iss. 1, 2021 online–offline

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those fromtheUnitedKingdom,South Africa, andCanada. they organize. Sajidalsoadmittedthatheintentionallyinvitedmore internationalthanlocalspeakers,suchas 6 5 4 3 2 1 Notes Transformation.” Werbner, Pnina.2018.“BetweenIslamicPiety, Agency andEthical Leadership:ParadoxesofSelf- indonesia-is-tinder-the-answer.html. July 31. Accessed [March7,2021].https://www.thejakartapost.com/life/2019/07/31/finding-love-in- Valentina, Jessicha.2019.“Finding inIndonesia:Is Tinder the Answer?” TheJakartaPost Honolulu: UniversityofHawai’iPress. Smith-Hefner, N.J.2019.IslamizingIntimacies:Youth, Sexuality, andGenderinContemporaryIndonesia . University Press. Sloane-White, Patricia.2017. Anthropology 18(3):316–330. Slama, Martin.2010.“The Agency oftheHeart:InternetChattingas Youth CultureinIndonesia.” Between ReligiousPoliticsandPopularPiousPractices.” 7 Conference Centre, anddesignedtocatertheneedsofurbanmiddle-classupper-middle classMuslims. Syahidah,2017,interview withauthor, January5,SuriaKLCC. This istakenfromMuhammad Asad’s (1980). translationandexplanationoftheQur’an The transnationalauraof SajidHussain,2015,interviewwithauthor, December27,PutrajayaInternationalConferenceCentre. SajidHussain,2015,interviewwithauthor, December27,PutrajayaInternationalConferenceCentre. All photos inthisarticleweretakenbytheauthor. Ilabelthisfancy yber Contemporary Levant3(1):79–90. dakwah becauseitwasheldinaworld-classinternationalvenue, Marriage Conference canalsobeseenfromitsinvitedspeakersineveryevent C yber Corporate Islam:ShariaandtheModernWorkplace O rient, Vol. 15, Iss. Asiascape: Digital Asia Asiascape:

1, 2021 5: 3–31. . Cambridge:Cambridge Putrajaya International website, Social

256 Eva F. Nisa cadres. movement alsoengagein

f0a1dd6010da414b48256815001bd4fc/ec9f2cc63ff92e5fc8256826002d1760?OpenDocument. 27, Khalwat,1997.http://www2.esyariah.gov.my/esyariah/mal/portalv1/enakmen2011/Eng_act_lib.nsf/ 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 22 (impermissible) orastateofconsanguinityprecludingmarriage. Mahramreferstomembersofone’s closerelativeswithwhommarriagewouldbeconsidered Noraida,2015,interviewwithauthor, December28,Bangsar Village. This isper April 20,2021,9:50p.m. (seeIndonesia Tanpa Pacaran2021a). Raihana,2015,interviewwithauthor, December26,PutrajayaInternationalConferenceCentre. Rizwan,2015,interviewwithauthor, December26,PutrajayaInternationalConferenceCentre. SajidHussain,2015,interviewwithauthor, December27,PutrajayaInternationalConferenceCentre. Munirah,2015,interviewwithauthor, December27,Coffee ShopBangsar. SyariahCriminalOffences (Federal Territories) Act 559,PartIV -offences relatingtodecency, section This isper April 20,2021,9:55p.m.(seeIndonesia Tanpa Pacaran2021f). This isper April 20,2021,9:49p.m.(seeIndonesia Tanpa Pacaran2021d). This isper April 20,2021,9:58p.m. (seeIndonesia Tanpa Pacaran2021c). This isper April 20,2021,9:51p.m. (seeIndonesia Tanpa Pacaran2021b). Sajid Hussain,2015,interviewwithauthor, December27,PutrajayaInternationalConferenceCentre. This isper April 20,2021,9:59p.m.(seeIndonesia Tanpa Pacaran2021e). Nowadays, therearesomeoccurrencesinwhichthosewhoseparentsthefirst generationsofthis yber dakwah familymatchmakingbyintroducingtheirchildrentotheofother C yber O rient, Vol. 15, Iss.

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257 Eva F. Nisa of ta’aruf(seeNisa2011). conservative movements,suchas Tablighi Jama’atandvariousSalafimovements arealsostaunchsupporters 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 Salamah,2018,interviewwithauthor, June21,Jakarta. Tri Wahyu Nugroho,2016,interview, May17,Jakarta. This isper April 20,2021,10:20p.m.(InspirasiDalamBerhijrah2021). This isper April 20,2021,10:19p.m.(BeraniNikah Takut Pacaran2021). Tri Wahyu Nugroho,2016,interview, May17,Jakarta. Tri Wahyu Nugroho,2016,interview, May17,Jakarta. LaOdeMunafar, 2016,interview, August 30,Jakarta. This isper April 20,2021,10:18p.m.(GerakanNikahMuda2021). Tri Wahyu Nugroho, 2016,interview, May17,Jakarta. Although theroleof Tarbiyah Movementisimportantin popularising a(strict) La OdeMunafar, 2016,interview, August 30,Jakarta. yber C yber O rient, Vol.

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ta’aruf culture,other

258 Eva F. Nisa