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The Reluctant Famulus 100 the Reluctant Famulus # 100 July/August 2014 Thomas D The Reluctant Famulus 100 The Reluctant Famulus # 100 July/August 2014 Thomas D. Sadler, Editor/Publisher, etc. 305 Gill Branch Road, Owenton, KY 40359 Phone: 502-484-3766 E-mail: [email protected] Contents Introduction, Editor 1 Rat Stew, Gene Stewart 7 Courtney's Boat, Eric Barraclough 9 Kentuckiana, Alfred Byrd 12 Battle of Wabash, Matt Howard 16 The Crotchety Critic, Michaele Jordan 25 Attempts at Utopia, Geoff Lardner Burke 27 Goose . ., Sheryl Birkhead 29 LoCs 31 A Promise 42 It's Covered 43 Artwork T. D. S. Front & Back covers, 5 Sheryl Birkhead 26, 29, 30, 33, 37, 41 Brad Foster 6, 41 Spore & Toetoe Hodges 31, 35, 39 Internet 12, 13, 14, 25, 41 (right col) Tracy Mintzer 11 Henry Stroud 10 Illustrated London Times 27 Unknown 21, 28 Charles Wilson Peale 16, 23 (left column) Major Jonathan Heart 17 Lucien C. Overpek 18 William Beckwith 19 William Walker Sr. 20 Gilbert Stuart 22 (top left column) John Trumbull 22 (right column) Frederick Kemmelmayer 23 (right column The Reluctant Famulus is a product of Strange Dwarf Publications. Many of the comments expressed herein are solely those of the Editor/Publisher and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of any sane, rational persons who know what they are doing and have carefully thought out beforehand what they wanted to say. Material not written or produced by the Editor/Publisher is printed by permission of the various writers and artists and is copyright by them and remains their sole property and reverts to them after publication. TRF maybe obtained for The Usual but especially in return for written material and artwork, postage costs, The Meaning of Life, and Editorial Whim. The Reluctant Famulus Introduction: Some Way Out Thoughts About the cover. In my usual lack of fore- ing to find out. I'll just make sure subsequent sight and procrastinatory nature regarding such issue sizes don't exceed 250 mb. That might save matters I had no idea what I was going to do for me some frustration. I very much hope. the 100th issue even though I knew it was Fortunately for me, I had saved a version of inevitable. For the most part, the idea of acquir- TRF 100 which didn’t have all the thumbnail cov- ing a cover never enters my mind in a timely ers in it and included the written material so I manner. When the need for a cover showed itself was able to work on that. But I still needed a cov- I was at a loss. Then, from two of my trusty fan- er and it was much too late to ask for one. To friends suggested almost the same idea for a cov- keep this already long explanation from getting er I decided it was a good idea (Naturally, when longer, you see the result of my beleaguered I have no ideas for a cover appears in my mind, mind. I know it’s a pitiful and pathetic alterna- anything is a good idea. The suggestion was to tive but it is better than nocover at all or having have a cover that featured covers from past the issue delayed long enough to get a real artist issues. Great. That was something I could do in to do one for me. spite of my lack of artistic ability. It’s curious how, on rare occasions—at least So I got busy working it up with the inten- with me—the brain works in mysterious ways to tion of including thumbnails of every cover up to perform its many functions. As noted, after hav- number 100. I worked diligently and, I thought, ing given up all hope for my original cover, I carefully sizing the cover images properly even went with the alternative since I had the issue though I had to add an additional page to the nearly complete. I was resigned to defeat. Then a front and back covers. Everything was done and day or two later, late at night during one of the looked pretty good, so I saved my work up to periods when I would awaken for no real reason that point along with much of the written materi- and remain awake for a while until sleep al intending to work on it after I had more materi- returned. It was then, unexpectedly, that I felt all al to add. But when I went to open the saved file wasn’t lost after all. A possible solution occurred . to me. It was, admittedly, a long shot but it was Well I don’t know if it was a true disaster or worth a try. After all, I couldn’t be any worse not but what happened, or didn’t happen, sure off. So, in the morning I tried an experiment seemed like it. I could not get the publishing pro- more out of curiosity than any hope for success. gram I use to open the file. All I got as an As someone once observed, there’s always a solu- “insufficient memory” followed by a “Publisher tion (to many problems, I suppose). My solution has stopped working properly”, followed by the worked, much to my surprise and relief! Even so, program instantly shutting down. I tried multiple after having thought of and created alternate times to open the file, to no avail. It just would front and back covers I was reluctant to discard not cooperate and so far the file is unavailable, them. I decided a compromise was in order. for what technical reason I have no idea. I sus- Whether or not my original cover was worth all pect, now, that the fact the file size was 638 MB the time and effort, it’s in this issue after all. (or megabytes) might have something to do with Enough said. On with the rest of this issue. it. None of the previous issues have been any- As the cover proclaims, this is the 100th where near a large. The closest has been 259 issue of The Reluctant Famulus (The editor and MB, a difference of 379 MB and substantially publisher of which who, owing to all the ver- smaller. I don't know what the exact point would biage he has committed over the years, doesn’t be when a file becomes too large for the program seem to be particularly reluctant about subjecting to handle and I'm not even going to waste my readers to 1 it whether they wanted it or not.) When I first rather, bang it expanded outwards in all direc- started this attempt at amateur journalism—if it tions until it finally became the size it is now and can be called that—I had no real plan in mind, may or may not still be expanding. Rather only the decision that since other fans has pro- remarkable isn’t it? duced fanzines over the years I might as well It’s sort of reminiscent of the old testament’s take a shot at it. book of Genesis where, in the beginning there At the time, I wasn’t thinking far ahead, only was only darkness; well, except for “earth with- about a potential second issue should those who out form” and “. the face of the waters”, then received the first read it and found something in an instant there was light. But there is a differ- worthwhile in it. That was a dodgy move at best ence in that according to Genesis this omnipo- because my first issue was of questionable quali- tent, omniscient being no one has actually ever ty (to me, at least). But I went ahead and planned seen, unless you count the burning bush Moses a second issue—just in case. Then a third, a spoke with, started the whole thing. I also find fourth, and a fifth. I don’t think I need to go any myself wondering something I don’t know if any- further in that direction. I want to thank all of one else has wondered,: where was God before you who patiently put up with me, my often ram- He said fiat lux (I know: it’s not Hebrew but bling articles, and my fanzine and thanks to Latin)? He had to be somewhere, didn’t He? those who have generously supplied me with arti- Was He in darkness all this time, or what? I apol- cles, artwork, reviews and locs which made TRF ogize if I seem sarcastic in some degree. I don’t better than it would have been if my stuff had mean to be. It’s just that these oddball questions been the sole contents. occur to me spontaneously. You have been the main reason I continued The preceding last two paragraphs tie in with publishing in spite of my doubts and my occa- the first part of my introduction in TRF 99 sional thoughts of giving it all up as a hopeless regarding multiple universes. The conventional cause. It has been just a bit over a quarter of a Big Bang theory has me wondering about some- century that I’ve been putting out The Reluctant thing else or, rather somethings else. One: was Famulus. The future, of course, is much too our universe and all the others produced from uncertain for me to make any promises of TRF that one big bang? Two: or were there actually seeing a second quarter century but I hope we’ll multiple big bangs all occurring at the same all still around for that long a period anyway, instant, each big bang producing its own expand- with or without TRF.
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