Issue 1211 Wednesday 27th June 2001

Imperial? Geafi

& REPORTS

THE X-FILES

BYE FROM US M

free drink of a from Ipm-Spm It

.one 1 from 7pm-Som

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5106 DCT5 iCU BACARDI &AflflKfififi TI SWiiB IMPERIAL COLLEGE UN^^ ofter ?pffl; free uiith snts cord S.00 icu S.50 other flip IK'S Contents

EWS nmer Ball rotfcs & any !ote news we might Felix funds abducted Bankrupt company burns hole in newspaper's pocket Insurance and genetic testing

HAM FOSTER lishing company in order to further his beliefs. It was the start of a downhill spiral for Jelix narrowly avoided a financial crisis last Marchfirst, whose European arm finally went bust week when a major advertiser filed for bank- last month, and employees in several cities broke itcy- in a stock market crash being directly into the company's offices in order to reclaim pos- buted to aliens. sessions and obtain severance pay. At the begin- [inting of last weeks issue was suspended by ning of this year, Marchfirst took out a series of Union's Executive Committee on Monday 11th full colour, full-page advertisements in Felix, but j>r Deputy President (Finance & Services) later claimed that they would be unable to pay until nne Pollard expressed concern over Editor Mr Clifford explained why the adverts were about .qnd goodbye ffom him In Clifford's handling of the finances. Mr Pollard two shades out (although most people could notice I Exec that Felix could lose up to £40,000 this any difference). Unable to do so, and aware of ;r unless something was done. This figure was Mi's problems, he sought the Union's advice, who I disputed by anyone present, recommended he offer them a "sub- Mr Clifford had not been told I stantial discount". Despite this, M1 Does imperial hove a geeky, ;h a discussion was being| are still believed to owe Felix around :..;. I I £3,000 for October's advertising, and Mr Pollard's main concern Finance Office are pessimistic about jfie from Felix's invoicing of the chances of any money from the lertisers, with approximately receivers. ,000 of invoicing still to do at Mr Clifford denied that he was at time of Exec. The figure of fault over Marchfirst, but did admit 0,000, which he spoke of that he had got behind on invoicing ma Mr Clifford for, was this term, which he attributed to "Felix jarently based on no further HH|Editor in Summer Syndrome"; too Dicing, no advertising in the ™much to do, too many people doing King Adofa, Soulwax & Turin two issues, and Finance — exams. The £8,000 backlog of invoic- ew fee failing to collect any of HBBHmg was cleared during the eight days money Felix is owed from Joe Firmage: Alien conspiracies Felix was suspended, he added, and Jertising. Although the job of invoicing is down he expected that Felix would receive all the money he Felix Editor, with advertising in student pub- it was owed, assuming no more companies went tions invariably carried out on credit, credit bankrupt. Exec ordered that Mr Clifford cleared It's weird, it's quirky, it ain't Men trol is handled by the Union's own finance the entire backlog of the invoices before Felix be Iartment. In a meeting which took place later allowed to go to press this week. Mr Clifford told Felix staff, "This bizarre figure Felix staff were described as feeling "frustrated" ased on obscene incompetence from all parties at having a weeks' worth of work go to waste, and olved... it's a shame no-one asked me about it." all felt that if Exec or Mr Pollard had a problem flfailerped signs off for (no year fe added, "The main problem isn't sending out with their editor's conduct, they should be able to with o record-breaking 3-page Dices for this term- most issues have been paid talk to him face-to-face rather than making deci- with profit from earlier terms, which was all sions behind closed doors. loiced and should have been paid by now. Our Following the re-instatement late last week, liest problem stems from Marchfirst." shortly before Etienne left for his holidays, Mr Barchfirst was a multinational strategy consul- Clifford told staff, "It's a shame that Felix, which Guru CingagaS got followed icy company, which essentially provided man- has always looked for transparency and fairness in $§^k::k't§0 §WAT tetfe; on ment advice for Internet start-up businesses, the Union, should be treated like this. If you have a Thursday, so this week's are o rough it survived the "bursting" of the "Internet problem with someone, you should be able to talk range... ible" fairly intact, the company later ran into to them about it rather than making allegations and jlems when its CEO, Joe Firmage, announced decisions behind peoples' backs. As well as making belief that all human technology was derived us miss an issue, it reflects pretty badly on the ..and that's it for now Nighty mj aliens. He later left in order to set up a pub- whole Union."

Felix 121 1 Cover image: Tom Bailess

Felix 27th June 2001 News n Saturday 30th June, The Royal Albert Hall is hosting" trial tours for the "London Open House" season.

The Hall would like to invite all Imperial College students,

staff and friends to take a tour between 9am and 11 am

and learn a little about it's history and architecture. j

There also will be free tea, coffee and croissant for all par ticipants.

If you would like to take part in this unique event, please contact Sally Howgego at [email protected] or telephone 020 7589 3203 Ext 2202.

Recreational Clubs Committee

Colours Awards Announcement

Tuesday night we paid homage to the individuals within the recreational clubs committee who have gone above and beyond in the name of their club. Whilst we, the executive, have tried our best to encourage, sup-

port and represent you over the course of this academic year, we wouldn't be anywhere without the skill and

manpower that each individual member invests in it's club or society.

We have been impressed with each and every one of you and, whilst everyone has made different contribu- tions to the running of their club, only a handful are awarded colours each year.

Inevitably, there are people who may have been overlooked and, no doubt, some of you will disagree with our choices. But, the important thing to remember is that you don't need a certificate to prove your value to a club. On the other hand, sincere thanks to the following for their amazing effort this year:

Daniel Carrivick Half Commitment Colours Maxim Steinberg Half Achievement Colours

Andrew Jurd Half Commitment Colours Helen Jones Half Achievement Colours

John Richardson Half Commitment Colours Matthew Dawson Half Social Colours

Luke Rebbeck Half Achievement Colours Katie Sykes Half Commitment Colours

Mithi Shafiq Half Commitment Colours Hemraj Nithianandarajah Full Commitment Colours

Ellis Williams Half Achievement Colours Ben Ogborne Full Achievement Colours

Indika Gunaratne Full Achievement Colours Barry Gale Full Commitment Colours

Enrique Wing Half Achievement Colours Rajiv Chakradaran Full Commitment Colours

Paris Deligiannakis Half Commitment Colours

27th June 2001 Felix Ball makes a profit \great night was had by most...

IK EDWARDS rarly indications suggest that last L Saturday's Summer Ball broke with tra- jition and made money- as well as providing .igreat night's entertainment As planned, the attractions ranged from (le James Taylor Quartet live on the (ueen's Lawn to last minute stand-ins Dope imugglaz in the Great Hall. A miniature fair- round offered Dodgems and a coconut shy, thile indoors had a casino, free ice-cream nd a cheesy disco, to name but a few of the Itractions. Following the release of an additional 150 ckets two days beforehand, Chair Idris larding estimates that some 1350 tickets iere sold, with at least an estimated £2,500 i go to the Union, although whether this pes into central funds or to next year's ball iunclear. Mr Harding paid tribute to the volunteers to worked "tirelessly" for up to a week to '

...and it's in to Beit

Quad for a, ahem,

quick pit stop

Friday 1st June saw students and staff taking part in the Pit Stop Challenge in Beit Quad. With a large crowd present and fierce compe- tition, all that was lacking from the Formula One atmosphere was the petrol.

Special congratulations are deserved by the team in charge of the car, who managed to get it through the Beit Quad arch despite half the passageway being closed off for paving- with- out putting a scratch on it.

Although the teams varied in their levels of expertise and co-ordination, organisers said that they were impressed by the level of tech- nical skills on display.

Felix 27th June 2001 News STAFF NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE. TECHNOLOGY, MEDICINE & MANAGEMENT

Issue 109 27th June 2004 Distorter

Rector's new office unveiled

A VISION for the future- an impression of the Rector's state of the art new The building was designed by M'lud Foster & Partners, who also designed management suite, made possible by his donation to the College from That Wobbly Bridge Across The Thames, That Stadium We Can't Afford and Glaxosmithkline. The new office oversees the main entrance to College, the BMS. Lord Foster is expected to sell the cigarette packet he scribbled it allowing all undesirables and speaker salesmen to be silenced discreetly upon on to the College for an extra £lm. trying to enter the College. It also allows for the partial obliteration of the Meanwhile, Lord Foster is also in the process of designing an open air car- Mines Building, continuing a project which dates back to the late 1950s. park in Dalby Court. Estates are in the process of spending £140,000 on trees as part of a scheme to transform the area. Imperial

announces new

principles

by TOM ANDERSON

THE COLLEGE has announced its four new principles, the confirmation of which will be crucial to its future. They are: Professor Mo Money (Glaxo-Smithkline, formerly of ICSM), Lord Steel N. Glass (formerly of Foster and Partners), Dr R. U. Belt-Tightening (from the private sector) and Mr Lucrative Overseas-Fees (from the Management School). The Rector, Sir Richard Sykes, also announced that he will be working very closely with the four new principles. Speaking to a selection of high-profile alumni and royalty at last week's commemoration of the Royal School of Mines' second anniversary, Sir Richard said, "These are pre-eminent princi- ples which are respected internationally in work in science, engineering and medicine... and are the ideal leaders to help the College evolve in this direc- tion." Sir Richard's speech was the highlight of a weekend's celebrations to com- memorate the second anniversary of the RSM. Entitled Undermining History, a packed crowd in the Bill H. Gates Department of Physics No.4 (UK) heard TMf ffUST students moved imo the tra»i>i'or»Hi} Beii Hall th« «** ,c! lir tales from veteran students about the College's bygone days, when subjects as as the project finished m time and <>» budget. The four fe» ' "

: obscure as Geology, Materials and Mathematics were widely taught and con- ^^^^S^^^^^^S^M§i:W^^^M3SM E fff ff f f | wall and all tt\m» hav« «atc-tif-the-*n dangling cables. Pictured. sidered vital for the future of the country. The first studeni u« move hi cxpk«« She etching new brick sew*

A publication of Imperial College Research Ltd- "We find shit out" Etienne Pollard dead (ributes trickle in as Deputy President killed on holiday

l EDWARDS last up to a week, soon made it perial College Union was shocked on evident that something was seri- ponday as news came in that Deputy ously wrong. esident (Finance & Services) Etienne Individuals with Portillaxis are Hard had apparently died while on holiday capable of living well into old age, New York. with Lord Tebbit, Baronness NYPD officials say it is too soon to tell Thatcher and Ian Paisley being ictly what caused Mr Pollard's death, but well-known sufferers. However, ewitness reports suggest that the DP victims live with the permanent iparently "disappeared up his own arse." possibility that an attack can be One eyewitness said, "I was walking along fatal- either to their careers or Ith Avenue when I saw an English guy look- their lives. Entrepreneur Richard rj really lost. He was walking along the Branson nearly had his public «ement with no idea where he was, and image ruined by an attack of snple were bumping into him. That's when I Portillaxis. which he blames for his |)lised that he couldn't actually see what involvement in the railways, while * going on around him because he had his Noel Edmonds is believed to have «d inserted into his own rectum." suffered a fatal attack six months Mr Pollard is believed to have suffered ago. m the rare condition, known as PortiIlaxis It is believed that during a serious attack of describing him as "sweet, industrious and a ce having started at Imperial College three Portillaxis, the sufferer is unable to extract good deputy". srs ago. Despite its disabling effects, He their head, which is gradually sucked deeper Felix Editor John Clifford said "It is unfor- s still able to complete two years of an ISE in until the individual literally disappears up tunate that Mr Pollard should disappear up jree and last February was convincingly their own arse. Many secretly suspect that his own arse so close to the end of the term. icted Deputy President (Finance and his spell as DP (F&S) was responsible for the He will be sorely missed- but his death should [vices). At the time, most of College were flaring up of his unfortunate condition. serve as a warning to others about the dan- ware that he suffered from the rare condi- Tributes poured in from people across gers of this condition." |n, but his repeated attacks, which could College, with President Hamish Common Mr Pollard was 21 when he disappeared.

in brief

DOC SOC BACK David Thurston and his entire staff of fifteen gery, and College medical engineers are cur- was "humiliating" and would make rently working to perfect a sense of touch for (in a fairly meaningless move, the DocSoc Nottingham a "minor player" in the field of the robot, in order to allow it to detect direct- amittee have been reinstated by City & cancer research. He added that the universi- ly what sort of tissue it is in contact with. lilds Union for the remainder of the year, ty's acceptance of a £3.8m grant from British [solving them of any blame but having few American Tobacco was "misguided...and Jctical consequences. The move came after made without consultation with academic FLOWER GENES apparent agreement between Ash Arya staff." I Dep Rep, who originally brought a pro-

>al forward to suspend DocSoc) and Jack Lord Sainsbury, the science minister, last ik, the outgoing Chair. ROBODOC week opened Imperial's new Genetic Therapies Centre, housed in the new MDR Ari Darzi, a surgeon at St Mary's hospital, (Flowers) Building. The centre will work CANCER MONEY has successfully demonstrated a robotic sur- towards finding new ways to use genetics to geon on 22 patients with a range of condi- treat diseases, and its £8.5m cost came Researchers at Nottingham University last tions from hernias to tissue removal. Last mainly from Mitsubishi and the Wolfson |ek heated up the debate over corporate month, a carpenter from Bedford became the Foundation. Drawing on the BMS, the ansorship when an entire cancer research first cancer patient in the country to have his Centre's open plan labs were designed by m resigned in protest at a donation from a tumour removed by a robot. All 22 patients Foster & Partners, described as a "research acco company. The University's head of have had significantly shorter recovery times hotel". icer research said that the departure of than those who had undergone normal sur-

Felix 27th June 2001 News Driving Tomorrow's Technology Systems and Software Engineering Excellent salary plus benefits Automotive Sector London, Kent and France

Delphi Automotive Systems is the world leader in automotive component and systems technology. We supply advanced fuel injection systems to the world's greatest manufacturers of cars, trucks and industrial machinery. Our systems contain embedded microprocessors operating with exceptional levels of real-time performance in severe environmental conditions. Continuing success in our growing business has opened up a large number of vacancies in our Systems and Software and Engineering Teams at Park Royal in West London, Gillingham in Kent and Blois in the Loire Valley, France. We have opportunities for Engineers at all levels within these teams, from new graduates to specialists with many years of experience. For all positions you should be educated to degree (or equivalent) level, ideally in engineering, computing or a related discipline.The work encompasses all aspects of the Software Engineering Lifecycle including requirements definition, system modelling, structured analysis and design, "C programming and software testing using automated tools and extensive engine and vehicle test facilities. Previous experience in any of the above and the ability to deal confidently with customers at all levels are desirable. Any experience in automotive engineering, or just a keen interest in cars and engines would be an advantage. We offer excellent training and development opportunities and as part of the world's largest automotive component and technology company, our career opportunities are unrivalled. Most of the positions will provide opportunities for international travel. We also offer a first class salary and benefits package together with generous relocation expenses. For further information please ring Nicola Pratt on 01453 794410. You can send her your CV, quoting reference number ICI to the lk. Human Resources Department, Delphi Automotive Systems, Brunei Way, Stonehouse, Gloucestershire GLIO 3SX or email [email protected] Please state any particular location preference.

Automotive Systems Insurance and genetic testing

to doubt everyone at Imperial welcomed the European Observatory on Health Care an individual's success in life, this made 'ittsburgh findings on Alzheimer's published Systems. What surprised me most was the sense - we were introducing a sense of fair- larlier this month. The study identified a pre- lack of a central European legal ruling on the ness into an unfairly chaotic world. As we dis- ciusly uncharacterized genetic mutation as subject. While in Holland genetic information cover more and more genetic factors that King a significant risk factor for the disease, includes family history and can not generally contribute to all aspects of our lives this nat- (hen present alongside other known genetic be used by insurance companies, German law ural socialism is and will continue to be erod- Buses. Yet as editors pieced together the requires that applicants reveal all known ed. Coupled with the increasingly determinis- jtest 'study prompts cure hope' headlines, medical information. tic world-view of our blame-culture, it is a datives of sufferers could be forgiven for recipe for social disaster. lishing scientists would leave the area alone. There is (of course) a more general ethical Vhy? Genetic testing for a disease benefits and philosophical issue lurking here. I started with a piece of scientific research, [roups other than those at risk - it benefits Scientific knowledge about our species, be it and noted that even the best-intended sci- isurance firms. genetic tests for disease or psychological ence will raise problems and issues beyond evaluations of intelligence, is appearing in its original domain. There is simply no such onsider the following situation, set some- ever increasing amounts. It allows us to dis- thing as objective ethically neutral research. During my time at Imperial I was constantly .here in early gg Insurers also think 11 t i n g u i s h amazed by how little interest many students list century * * between indi- iritain. Your fa in- it's nice to know viduais on showed in the humanities and social sciences, ly has a history of the basis of health and indeed often in any fields outside of their llzheimer's and a new genetic test is avail- ability like never before. Consider insurance own. When asked the reply was often not so ible, allowing you to see if you too carry the again: In the old days we all essentially paid much a perceived lack of interest, but a lack nutation. You understand that carrying the the premium for those unfortunate souls who of utility; "I don't think it's relevant to what I aulty gene does not mean you will get the pop their clogs three decades before their do" would come the response. Well, think lisease, just that you are more likely to. In time. Now few of us are prepared to subsi- again. my event, it would be nice to know, wouldn't dize the policies of those with a high chance of dying early, especially if they knew the risk Ed Sexton is a freelance journalist and writer factors but failed to declare them to the and former editor of Felix. nsurers also think it's nice to know. What insurer. [email protected] eally bugs them is when you know and they lon't. This is perfectly understandable; if you A similar hypothetical iere to be carrying the mutation one of the example comes from irst things you would probably do is up your education. Suppose as fe assurance policy. Insurers are quite right- the century drags on we 1 suspicious of the possibility of fraud, and learn how to evaluate a » will ask you to reveal the results of any child's natural mental jenetic tests you have taken, just as required ability to learn. Private bra plethora of other medical tests. schools will begin to list the test among their Ihe Catch-22 situation that develops is simi- other entry require- ar to the HIV-insurance dilemma. If you ments. Parents will aven't been tested an insurance company object to their talented »ill have no information to go on, except for little darlings being placed alongside kids isking the usual lifestyle questions. No who, lets face it, are Jritish insurer will force you to take genetic never going to learn tests. Consequently avoid being tested and much. And for the first our premiums are likely to stay at their cur- time they will have sci- ent supposedly low level. On the other hand, entific tests to prove lou want to know, don't you? When it comes ISpm-aom their point. How long in :o filling up the policy application, however, the face of such knowl- Free drink of Archer's IOU risk committing fraud if you fail to edge can the state ieclare the result: The Association of British promise to educate all, from i pm-5pm and of insurers' pre-1999 policy statement reads of whatever ability? People wishing to take out new life insurance Bacardi from 7pm-1 am jolicies will continue to be required to report ihe results of any genetic tests". There is a Our entire welfare sys- Bouncey Castle Water Pistols real chance that people will avoid possible tem is built upon the >arly detection of a disease simply to keep idea of the fortunate Balloons Fum Entertainments ;heir premiums down. helping the unfortunate through selective taxa- tone of this is particularly new. I was remind- tion. In the twentieth H| After 7pm: FREEIents card ;d of the debate after reading an article in century, when it was iCU lSE Magazine (LSE's alumni rag), written by hard to identify genetic bacardm £2,00 iCU, £2.50 others IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Vina Dixon and Dr Elias Mossialos from the factors associated with

Felix 27th June 2001 Feature A question "It is a busy night in the bar and a pint accidently is of your rights? knocked over. In the crowd a heated argument starts and Free advice and help with someone is jostled.n any problem or question you might have. Do you want to get involved? The Union Advice Service is staffed by a full-time legal Can you calm a tense situation and want to help adviser with information on housing, immigration, make the Union a safe and friendly place for all? consumer rights, debt, welfare benefits, employment, Long term positions are available in the Union academic problems or harassment. Stewards team. There are variable hours and rates of pay depending on your timetable. Training is To make an appointment either drop by the *CU provided. reception, first floor Beit Quad, or phone 020-7594- For more information please either drop by the 8060. If you wish to contact the adviser directly, phone iCU reception, phone the entertainments 020-7594-8067 or e-mail [email protected]. manager, Hamden Al-Rubaie, on 020-7594-8068 A broad range of information leaflets is available in or e-mail [email protected] for details. the Union reception area for your convenience.

Union IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Advice iCU Service IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Work for yourself. Work at the Union... Confidential and impartial advice open to ail students and staff ...and make a difference to your social life.

SUMMER TERM EVENTS CALENDAR AT ICtt

June 26,20

TUESDAY Final Trivia night of the Term!- FREE! Show us what you learned this year. £50 prize! 26 June Drink or Drive by B-Free - Test your driving skills on Scalextric, Playstation & more. FREE to supporting halls, £1 to others. Doors 7.30pm. @ dB's bar.

WEDNESDAY Every Week Cheesy Wotsits Disco - The best gorgonzola money can buy!!!!! Enjoy yourself with a mid-week melt. 9pm -12 midnight. FREE before 11pm, 50p after 11pm. @ /'CU.

FJ2IDAY 29 June Summer Chill Out- turn up! tuna ini chill out! Dust off your flip-flops & put on your swimmies, because school's out for the summer. DJs in the Quad and in dB's. Drink samples from Archer's (1pm - 5pm) and Bacardi (7pm - 1am). Chill Out Party: 12pm - 2am. 1 Side Acts, Freebees, BBQ. JlS Impulse/MTV Presenter promotion. Bar open all day. FREE before 7pm. £2.00 /'CU £2.50 guests / FREE with enfs card

Tickets from iCU reception, Beit Quad. T: 020-7594-8060 F: 020-7594-8065 Details may be changed at any time, ffl oditonal

Editorial Staff I ImIG TO CJO

Editor John Clifford inances. Unfortunately that's all I've heard deadline, while accounting can be put off until the Fabout for the past week after our mild financial next time I'm free, but then it's time to start the r sis last week.;; Crisis is maybe a bit strong, but it's not as bad as it sounds. Knowing that our i||ould sleep, have a social and family life- which Books Jonathan Matthews Film Drew Nienhuis liajor adver i \ heve all suffered for fairly shit wages Shows corn- iirtle sooner may have helped though. Music Andy Houldsworth & j Don't get me wrong. J love this job, but in any Your beloved student newspaper may have lost Tom Bailess I piofessional organisation it would be recognised j few thousand pounds in the dot com bubble Restaurants Jana Natkunarajah that giving both financial arid management jurst, but it seems retrievable-: ::what really Science Matt Kaplan annoyed me ovi| ttijs whole /as how the Sport & Cartoons lain Angus Onion's Exec happily discu; suspended ble Both me and Dave made accounting screw- & Jo White :elix and talked about suing me for money our ups, and it wouldn't be Will's fault if he did next Graphic Design..Justin van der Toorn advertisers owe us, without even asfeng me for my ':',; ii Photography Jonas Lindsay jpinton or defence OK, the icemed, but Proofing Lucy Penman someoc of staff is fanly small compared to the size of our Unless, of ft to sort out; :he finances, but I have effectively been single- Writers ' .e-.:;;.':--: " '".-=!, andedly managing a company with a £100.000 J| Well, enough of me & Felix I was hoping I William Foster, Rik Edwards, wnover, and I think I've done an alright job. wouldn't have to do something like that for my last Matt Kaplan, Tom Bailess, Eventually .H ,;d out and ' , , Jonathan Matthews, Alisdair Wren, danced Hd ; to p"ifectly honest, but I hope Stef Evans, lain Angus jet on with my life- which that whatever I do I work with! Katherine Dyer-Perry, people as supportive, hard sill be nice. & John Clifford "Turning to non-financial 5 c; mqsl'iof; I matters, I can| believe the people I've worked with : Photographers is my last issue, find this year There's a list of Jonas, John & Gareth e end of the: year, it's people I want to thank, but I ally scary how fast the already know it's not com Felix, The Portacabins, iar's gone, Each year plete, so time for the oscar Prince Consort Rd, 3t seems to be so much night thing Thanks to my ster. th e«'°#s ever supportive family and London, SW7 2BB flatmates for the «, and taking this to its /ice and Internal tel: 58072 patience Ditto tl gica! extreme i'li be dead snrtters External tel & fax: amazing amc five "years". Never 020 7594 8072 nd, I'm sure there's an r>::. friend Ii ne ^isettse E-mail: [email protected] i.anfill|ii > well as :J'."V Felix is produced for and on behalf of H' :: : ,;.' jwe a lot Imperial College Union Media Group of apologies to people office is and is printed at MCP Litho Limited, i i < '< : : always a state, sorry se6 a Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, pd,: W moody, sotry for the S len 1 get "isiStifLlV earned away and do f we've 16 - 16a Baldwins Gardens, it irtten- London EC1N 7RJ :: II .'][. sA;,|.^.' i\ gathering, page layout, staff recruitment & :ntia) bit Felix is a registered newspaper: ;". .. ' : ; i talking ISSN 1040 - 0711 id doing the business side (advertising manage- d be no Copyright © Felix 2001. p: ... ' - i |:e-rp f-c aid, v.ho I "dve to admit I've never The opinions expressed are sole- t; ifthiS ly those of the authors, and not nec- a professional organisation I would be out on essarily those of the Editor, Felix or Imperial College Union feat at accounting- work on each issue has to be he in a very snort timesca'e with immovable Johnny

t Felix 27th June 2001 Editorial 0) Thankyou and goodbye

s the sun streams into my office I recall by Hamish Common sions next year on how it deals with the A the last time I switched my office fan on President, Imperial College Union CCUs in the light of this new faculty struc- (during July last year), and I find myself ture. writing my last ever column for Felix - my it'. This is ridiculous! Ev if you were never Last of all, I would like to acknowledge the first one being a few years ago in |residents of Linstead Hall, which I November 1996 in my former guise have spent far too little time in this as 'Westminster Eye'. It's the end of year, even though I apparently live another year for the student popula- there: thanks naturally goes to the tion at Imperial and for some the end wardening team and re-apps includ- of some of our time at Imperial ing Chief Sarah, Clare of Bradford, College. Scary Clare, Less scary Emma, When I first started at the Union Industrious Babs, Rebecca & Mischa knew I was taking over an organisa- the Imposter, Alistair, Sandy and any tion of immense variety and complex- others who shouldn't take offence I ity with clubs and societies spanning can't recall their names. Thanks too an unparalleled breadth of activity. I to my landing neighbours Tom, Andy am still learning about other activities and Sacha, plus Brad and Rik who we do today. I remember a carefully- effectively lived there and together phrased set of general policies from helped re-invigorate my faith in the my election campaign including bring-;; future of the medical profession ing decision-making closer to stu-l whilst taking up much of the Linstead network bandwidth on gender-specific dents, negotiating constructively but firmly keen on us social scene 01 icicu our v^ouj anatomical research. with the College and considering the Union's clubs and societies the Union is always there role in a multi-campus College. I admit I've Good luck and good bye! to help when you're down, have problems done some, had others do some for me, and Hamish with College, landlords, staff, other stu- done less f f Sometimes lluminating dents, or even if you want to chat. on others and sometimes A n 99 It would be difficult aspect ofnmy job this frustrating year which separates it from other Union to talk of the College posts is the amount of time negotiating with and its staff without the College. I don't and never did think they mentioning the new *? were there to conspire against students - I Rector, Sir Richard can't believe someone would take a senior Sykes. Despite initial job in a university who did. However, I have fears expressed by into r ufcber learnt that there are a variety of individuals many students that he would attempt to turn within the College from those who see the Finally got to grips with your studies student view as integral to how they operate it into a studentless and want to make some cash? to those who know better than us more lowly research institute, I beings on what is best for us. This has been have found Sir Richard Union catering is looking for staff for the next academic year to work in dB's and DaVincis' sometimes illuminating and sometimes frus- to be genuinely con- catering outlets. trating. It is satisfying to see a College-wide cerned with student policy change as the result of your input on issues and as interest- There are variable hours available depending on what's best for students, less so when peo- ed in quality teaching your timetable. All training is provided so no as he is in quality experience is necessary. Benefits include College ple consistently refuse to discuss an issue contributory pension scheme and holiday pay affecting students with you in the hope of research. And he does entitlement. Your meal is provided during each presenting some fait accompli at a later plan to keep us all here shift worked. date, or because they can't imagine students for the indefinite To join the friendly team in union catering either could make a useful contribution. future! The new faculty structure, though the drop by DaVincis or phone the catering manager, Having said that, the College and its staff Nicky Slavid, on 020-7594-8080 for more are normally very keen to help students in original plans were information. trouble and, curiously enough, one of the done without meaning- more depressing and surprising aspects of ful consultation with us this year has been the unwillingness of many should certainly bene- iCU students to approach the Union when they fit taught and research IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION are in trouble. There was even a student liv- students in the long ing in my own halls of residence who did not run. The Union will Work for yourself. Work at the Union... approach me for a month because she itself need to come to ...and make a difference to your social life. assumed 'I would be too busy too deal with some courageous deci-

Union 27th June 2001 Felix* FED UP MISSING OUT ON ALL THE EXCITEMENT?!?

FOR ICU RAG! Waging war in Imperial boredom

NEAREST RECRUITING STATION

28th June, 8pm - Union Dining Hall, 1st Floor, Beit Quad

All welcome, especially web editors, Rag Mag editors,

new ideas ... visit www.su.ic.ac.uk/rag for details Image Issues

IC is often perceived as being full of geeky guys. How true is this, and what effect is it having?

Felix asked these girls what they thought...

TOM BAILESS Laura, Medicine also show that something is lacking, like you When you think of IC, do you think don't have any social life at all. hat is the first thing you think of when there is a problem with its image? Wpeople talk about IC? World-class tech- I'd say yes. There is a lack of females, apart Has IC's image had any consequences nical institution? Centre of cutting edge from in medicine. People know about that lack on you? research? Or just a place full of geeky guys? of females, and I think they draw their own con- Not really, no. I think it does mean that the These things may be true, and I have no prob- clusions from it. medics tend to club together. That is a bit of a lem with the first two, but the last is a worry. I think there are more geeks at Imperial, problem, but I don't want to be a part of that. Whether it is an issue depends how seriously people take it. I've had the good-natured rib- Does it matter that IC has this image? bing from friends back home, but that's just Yeah, to a certain extent. I think people do go annoying, rather than a major problem. When elsewhere for social events. There is a stigma you start to think that is how IC is perceived by attached to Union events. the majority, it makes you sit up. What sur- prised me is how almost every university guide Are there any girls you would call from The Guardian to Virgin Student all make geeky? some reference to it. Felix has set out to find if Not here, I have to say. I do know some, but I people were worried about this image, what haven't met any at IC. It's very hard to label effects it has on them, and whether indeed they someone. thought it was a bad thing at all. When thinking about who to ask, we thought it best to start Do you think the image of IC is wide- with people who are being most unfairly tagged spread? with the "geeky guy" stigma, that is, people who No, not really. I think it's more of an internal are most definitely not geeky guys. What's the thing. People just think that things are better opposite to a geeky guy? Why, an outgoing, elsewhere, when really it's not. confident, young woman of course! We found some volunteers for this task and Katie, Biology asked them what they thought. To give a face to What do you think about the generalisa- the voice, we decided to take some pictures to tions that people make about IC? go with it. I hope that these contrast with typical There is an enormous mix of people here. There ideas of the IC geek. are people from council estates, and I know people who have millionaire parents. One of my

because you have to be quite intelligent to get here, and also we don't have any arts subjects.

Do you think that defines a geek? That, and someone who keeps themselves to themselves, and doesn't socialise, people who keep their heads down. It's really nothing to do with being good at your work. It's like they don't know how to communicate, they are just obsessed with their work. I think some people resent others like that, because they are good at their work

Do you think being a geek always has negative implications? I think it could have positive implications - it could mean that you are a really hard worker, you're dedicated to your work, but that could

Feature 27th June 2001 Felix friends here is a single mother. All of the gen- and draw conclusions from that. If they were eralisations are just untrue. actually at the uni, they would see that there is so much more to IC. Do you think there is an issue of IC's People at IC are a lot more single minded than image outside of college? at other unis and want to do well. Whether Ithink it is a bit of a problem. The first impres- they wear Iron Maiden T-shirts and tatty white sion that a lot of people get is that of loads of trainers is neither here nor there. It's an exter- guys, and I suppose that some do look geeky. nal perception that these people are geeks.

What is a geek? Elaine, Medicine Someone wearing very conventional clothes, What do you think of the IC's image, with their hair greased back, wearing glasses. I and is that image relevant? always thought a geek was just a stereotype, I don't think it should matter what image some but I have seen a few people round who really one else has put on your university. It should lit the image, just visually though - I don't know only matter what you perceive yourself as. If them. They lock themselves in their rooms, and you're happy with yourself and what your per- play with their computers for hours. But gener- sonality's like, it shouldn't really matter what ally people are fine. All my friends are really other people have labelled you as. If people outgoing.

[Do you think it is a problem? Is it a oegative thing? It would be a problem if it was the majority, but it is such a tiny minority, and I think you get them at any university.

Do you think that the external image of is associated with geeks. IC has affected you? Not directly, and I don't think it would, because Are you a geek? think that the academic reputation of Imperial (laughs) Well, maybe... I don't lock myself outweighs any other image. They think "good away in my room. college", I don't think it's the first thing that they think of. Is it a negative image? I don't think it is. If it makes us seem hard So why do you think all of these exter- working and intelligent, I think that's a good lal university guides have honed in on thing. ibis? lone person just wandered round the Union, Heather, Medicine (again!) Ihey probably would see more guys than girls What do you feel about how IC is per- ceived by the public? I think it's a shame that we do have that image, but I think people should realise it's not like that, especially because there are more girls come up to me and say "you're from IC" and coming into IC now. The medical school has therefore it must mean a certain thing, I would- changed that sex ratio quite a lot. With any n't let that bother me. science subject, there is always that reputation of geeks and nerds. I think that could offend Do people judge you? some people, because they don't want to be A couple of people have said, "Oh you're at IC, classified as such, on the other hand, we are a it must be really unnerving, there's so many lively bunch, and science isn't just about read- males." When you come in the first year, it is ing books. kind of strange at first. There are so many boys, but gradually it's OK, it's not too bad. Have you had negative experiences Boys make great friends, if not better friends from being associated with IC? than girls. Sometimes people think I am nerd, but that's It's natural that a certain proportion are going just ridiculous. I think it's more of a male thing to be "electronically gifted" [geeky], shall we to be honest. I have female friends who came say. With so many guys, I don't think that pro- here to do engineering and chemistry, and they portion is any worse than at other unis. Also, weren't put off by the image. being a university of science and technology, you do expect people to be more into sciencey Where does the image come from? things, which is perhaps one of the things that I think it's propagated by rugby player types

Feature 27th June 2001 Felix who go out drinking, and pretend they never socially. When I first came here, it was a bit work for exams. Those sort of people piss me hard to find people with similar interests to me. off. They think you're sad just because you I've made loads of friends through RockSoc work. We're privileged to be here, so people though, so it's just a matter of making an who think it's not cool to work for your degree effort. are the ones who are most likely to label peo- In the last couple of years it has got a lot ple geeks. better. The number of girls on my course has doubled. So do you think it's more of an internal problem? There are many views here, but ulti- Medics tend to be rude about others like engi- mately, it seems that the problem of neers or physicists, saying "Oh they're so IC's image is as much to do with atti- geeky", it's ridiculous, especially at our age, but tude than any real issue. From all of they do. the peoples' views that are expressed When one of my friends came here, she here, one thing's for sure is that there said "Oh my God, it looks like a factory where are lots of ways of looking at it. The they keep all the people working in their labo- aim of this feature is to promote dis- ratories under the street", so when I came I cussion of these issues, and I hope the was quite relieved to find people were normal. opinions here have gone some way I think if someone was shallow enough to towards that aim. be put off by the image, then they probably

Kelly, Physics What do you think about IC's geeky image? I admit that I have complained about the num- ber of geeky guys. There is blatantly a lot, but there are a lot of other people too. In general, I don't think people are completely geeky. They do have different interests.

What is a geek? I think a geeky guy is someone who is com- pletely obsessed with their subject, and does- n't think about anything else. I know people who, in between lectures, they talk about lec- tures. They come down the Union and they talk about lectures. That's not a bad thing. It just seems there's not much more to them apart from what subject they do, and what they know about that subject. IC's image could put people off coming here if they think it is going to be really boring wouldn't get on very well here anyway. A BIG thank you to all the girls who volunteered to help out with this fea- Could the geeky image be seen as a ture, and for being so much fun to work good thing? with. I hope you all liked the photos! The word geek is a derogatory word, so I don't think it could ever be used in a positive way. Sincere gratitude to PhotoSoc for let- Now that I've been here for a while, I forgot ting us borrow their very expensive kit, about that whole geek thing, and reading some especially to Alex for setting it all up. of the uni guides reminded me of it. When I PhotoSoc has a full set of studio equip- was applying to unis, it did say stuff like that ment for use by the members, as well about IC, and now I think it is such a pile of as a brand new, custom-built darkroom poo, because it's just not true, and people here from next year. Members also get know that. I think it is important that people reduced prices on camera consumables. outside IC realise how unrealistic it is, so that If you would like to join, contact Otillie, people aren't put off coming to IC, and so that this year's president at girls in particular aren't put off coming here. [email protected].

) Feature 27th June 2001 Felix Union Colours 2000-2001

Half Colours David Rolls Alexandra Cope Gareth Morgan Andrew Heeps Idris Harding Babatunde Olanrewaju Kash Akhtar Barry Edmonstone Leanora Lang Christina Fell Mary Parker Claire Press Mustafa Arif Dan Preston Oliver Barnes Daniel Rose Sarah Hughes David Francis

David Orme Outstanding Service Award Emily Procter Ben Hawkins Florence Crick David Roberts Jim McCusker David Stinson Lorna Robinson Dinesh Ganesarajah Lucy Tipton Gus Paul Nima Jalali Jason McKee Rebecca Padfield Melody Lam Richard Tang Paul Trompeteler Richard Taylor Sen Ganesh Rosemary Beckett

Sabeen Tufail Union Fellowships Sarah Bluhme Iain Campbell Simon Torn Ismail Jalisi Steve Little Lian Doble Toby Wilkinson Stephanie Dawson Tom Gray

Zayd Armanzi Union Distinguished Fellowships Chris Jackson

Full Colours

Andrew Gallagher President's Awards Anjlee Sheth Lome McEwan Caroline Knight Mandy Hurford Catherine Pinch Mustafa Arif David Roberts Stephanie Dawson EXPERIMENT DECLARED FAILURE Common was elected President. It is now was available in a superior form for free. Imperial College School of Medicine has been believed that Sen did not stand for the presidency experimenting with a new brand of medical educa- at this time as he came to some sort of agree- SUCCESS BREEDS SUCCESS tion over the past three years. The course is one ment with Hamish. In order to be eligible to stand Following the huge success of Idris Harding and of the very few in the country where students get this year Sen has spent the last year at Imperial his team's Imperial College Summer Ball college into hospitals and see patients from day one. The taking an MSc course which has involved him has given the go-ahead to another massive stu- first three years are spent concentrating on the repeating large chunks of the fourth year of his dent run event to be held in the college. The touchy feely aspects of medicine such as commu- undergraduate degree. The year was not entirely RCSU's Beer festival was this week given the go- nication skills and empathy. Medical learning dur- effortless though, he is thought to have done one ahead by head of catering John Foster on behalf ing these first three years is relatively limited, or two modules for the first time. However, as one of the College, who were particularly impressed much is expected to be self taught, and is exam- by the quality and speed of the cleanup following ined by trivial multiple guess quizzes, and of the Summer Ball - the Great Hall was back in its course the infamously ridiculous computer based examination room format by nine o'clock Sunday statistics test with online help. Following the entry A mostly libellous column. Kevin is a morning, just five hours after the event closed. of the first wannbe doctors to undergo this course random entity who knows nothing about The Beer Festival has in the past been one of the into their clinical training ICSM have realised that nothing largest and most enjoyable RAG events, and will the approach taken to their education in the first provide a popular and highly visible core to RAG three years has left them ill-prepared from the of his 'very good friends' is thought to have activities next year. The event, which will feature more traditional second half of their training. In an already completed these coursework-heavy the drinking of a huge variety of exotic Beers, incredible move course directors at the medical courses this may come in useful. Ciders and Largers will be held on the afternoon school have decided to accept that their experi- and evening of Wednesday the 6th March. People ment has failed, and are set to make changes to INSTANT NOTES wishing to get involved in the event should con- the current course to give students a more rigor- It is likely that by the start of next year course tact Stuart Davis, [email protected] ous, traditional education in their formative years notes from MIT will be available online for a wide at the school. To save face it is planned that these variety of subjects that are taught at Imperial. The AND FINALLY changes will be introduced gradually over the next scheme, known as MIT-OpenCourseWare, the While Kevin has not yet found and excuse to stay three to five years. scheme is designed will serve as a model for uni- around college next year the Felix editor-elect Will versity dissemination of knowledge in the Internet Dugdale did made a hustings pledge that should it LONG TERM ASPIRATIONS age. In the Chemistry department staff have be submitted, Mishmash will continue. Fantastic. ICU's new President Sen Ganesh has been plan- already been looking at MIT's offerings, and were ning his entire life around getting the sabbatical worried by the possible implications. One lecturer (Yes. Great. So long and thanks for all the fishy position for the last few years. Sen completed his was wondering how they could justify the tuition stories, Kev -Ed) undergraduate degree in the year in which Hamish cost of their courses now that lecture material

ARE YOU UP TO Make Friends

green rumen and

STANDARD? Influence People Work next term with Union Ents There are employment opportunities in all areas of Short term positions available Ents, Rag Cloakroom and Advertising. Hours are during Freshers' Week. arranged to suit, depending on your timetable. Staff are needed to issue /CU Union Cards and There will be an Introduction & Training Day on London Transport Cards during the first week of the Friday, September 28, 9am-4pm. Come and meet autumn term, October 1-5. Hours will be arranged the team and find out more. Lunch will be provided. to suit depending on your new timetable. For more information please either drop by the Union reception, or phone on 020-7594-8060. For more information please either drop by the »'CU reception, phone Michelle Lewthwaite on 020- Make a date in your diary for the Union Training Day, 7594-8060 or e-mail [email protected] with Friday, October 28, 9am-4pm. We look forward to working with you! your contact details for now and during the summer. iCU /CU IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Work for yourself. Work at the Union... Work for yourself. Work at the Union...... and make a difference to your social life. ...and make a difference to your social life.

i Columns 27th June 2001 Felix* Felix _ Y«,,

Ml complaints should be time to actually say something oddressed to the Editor. If no will go back to her old salary as are pleased to inform you that satisfactory reply is received, positive - the ball was excellent! soon as everyone has left you have been accepted for a contact ICU Exec via the Union The diversity of entertainment (Jeffery Archer's Law of Flying place in the Old Felix Editors' President was especially pleasing, and the Pigs). And, is it a co-incidence Home. You will be collected on live music was sensational. I'm that they're all going,or have they July 30th by two of our heavily sure that other correspondents being Syked? armed representatives and SUMMER AT ALL will inform us of organisational escorted to the Home, where you shortcomings (there were a few) Maybe Felix can get an answer, will be taken for your comple- Dear Ed but I echo the view of many pun- because I'm b****ered if I can. mentary lobotomy before being ters that it was a taken to your new room, where I just wanted to congratulate supremely fun evening. M you will be permanently held. Ihe summer ball team on putting on a brilliant ball this year - it Well, I'll keep this short. Good I'm going to miss this kind of let- This precaution is in order to pre- was the best one I've been too luck to everyone who is graduat- ter- Sherfield, what's going on? vent you from becoming a danger md thought that the whole event ing this year. to society and is quite standard. »as great. ...AND FINALLY Yours, Yours As the ball was a sell-out and Dear Mr Clifford. extra tickets were made available Asanga Gunatillaka David Blunkett is well, surely the ball has made Elec Eng. Yr 4 Congratulations on completing Home Secretary some profit this year. Myself, your tenure as Felix Editor. We ind numerous people I've spoken Surprisingly, no letters slagging too, are concerned about where it off, two letters of praise. Good This is the last issue of this academic year, but letters for the first any profit would go. We thought job Idris and co. And of course issue of next year should be received by the end of September- drop that any profit should be put into the Union Staff and volunteers- into the office or email [email protected]. Letters may also be used in the a summer ball fund and go about whom weVe heard great occasional Summer publication Helix. Letters may be edited for length towards making next year's ball things -Ed but not grammar or spelling. just as good (if not better - is this possible!!! Well, faster bar SHERFIELD WATCH service in the jcr would've been better, but that's my only com- Dear Felix. plaint!). However, we have the nasty suspicion that the union Sherfield watch update. Can nay just cream any profits and anyone explain exactly what's put it towards funding some ocurring in a bit of Sherfield lots trap union event, like that disas- of us use -Research Contracts? trous comedy night with that In January there was 8 people Woke from the fast show. working in it. Now 6 of them have left or are leaving.We've wonder if we could get some been told that its being run feedback on this point - what do from the medical school by Lynn other people think? Would the Cox, who I see has got the extra onion people listen to what stu- title of 'Director of Research ients wanted it put towards Contracts'. There must be more (doubtful)? Directors around Sherfield than [ there are flies around a pile of s*** on a hot day. Yours slightly concerned Louise With a new title goes more Dear Sir, money (Neil Hamilton's Law of Management) - just for taking on cappuodno The Summer Ball 2001 was for 8 extra people who have now many people (including myself), turned into 2. Magic. That's what in important chance to say I call a good pay deal. More espresso larewell before leaving Imperial. money and less staff; can we all Mter four years at IC, I am writ- have one like that please.But tea ing to Felix for the first and last maybe I'm wrong and Mrs. Cox

lFelix i27th June 2001 l Letters Albums

Scuba Z Preston School of Industry

The Vanishing American All This Sounds Gas

Family (Domino)

(Odd Records) reston School of Industry, featur- Ping guitarist Scott Kannberg, are his album is a musical pick 'n' mix most likely to appeal to fans of Kann- Tof big beat, funk, house and just burg's former band, Pavement. In the about anything else you can think of. same mould as Pavement, they have a Eccentric, eclectic and, at times, a lit- quirky guitar-based sound, with whim- tle bit messy, this is an album that sical vocals and a strong backline. never disappoints. The overall feel of All This Sounds From the crazy funk of / Don't Gas is one of a band having fun, and Get Out Much to the guitary / acid King Adora as a result the music is fairly uplifting house crossover of Sharon Stone's Vibrate You - perhaps one to listen to over the House, each track is different and summer months - but there is also an never really sounds like something (Superior Quality Recordings) edge to the music hinting at some- you've heard before - the album thing a bit more "serious". The songs keeps you on the edge of your seat, ing Adora management final track "I will irritate you". No are experimental, but maintain a dis- wondering where it'll go next. Kmeeting: need, Maxi. You're good enough tinctly poppy appeal. It could be Whilst featuring the singles Cali- Boss of record label: "So we've at it already. argued that Steve Malkumus is doing fornian Paranoia and Instant Whip, I signed the band. They've got to And when they drop in a few this kind of thing better but still, this found that all of the tracks are equal- rock like Iggy Pop on cheap electronic beats here and there to one is worth a listen. ly appealing in their own way, but not orange squash and E-numbers. prove their modernity, you just Mark Hammond to everyone's taste. For example, if They need tunes, arrogance and know that there was someone the Vengaboys is as leftfield as you some guitars. They've got to have from A&R lounging in the studio like your music, don't bother with this sex appeal." saying "Yeah guys, it'll sound album (in fact, if that is the case, how KA Manager: "OK. Check "rock- great, trust me" as the band The London Xpress Album can you live with yourself?!). ing". Check tunes and arrogance. stood there looking unsure. This is a seriously tasty little Check sex appe....oh fuck. However, don't get the (Nuphonic Records) album and is definitely worth getting They're pug ugly." impression that there is anything your hands on. Boss of record label: "Oh well. wrong with this CD. Every song th rare cuts from the likes of Patrick We'll dress them like early Manic does have big shiny sharp hooks w; Coldcut, Groove Armada and Street Preachers who've met that you could catch a shark with. Red Snapper, I was expecting some- some goths down a dark alley. No The lyrics (between the whines) thing pretty special from this compila- one will notice." are never banal. The solos are tion of artists who have contributed to mm Public Domain And you have King Adora. never cheesy. There is not a song the London Xpress Radio show over Who do take after MSP, but on the disc that you would really the last year. It is certainly eclectic, and Hard Hop Superstars without the intelligence. They've want to fast forward through. almost every track refuses to fall into a , got the tunes though. The debut Nevertheless it is easy to tell specific dance music category. (Xtrahard) album from the Birmingham four which songs were, are, or shall be However, a broad theme of downbeat | piece is polished, and you can see singles: the songs easily fall into electronica emerges, with hints of tech- here are good tracks on this why NME put them on their cover "power pop" or "punk/giarrT^ats- no, dub and jazz creeping in occasional- Talbum, like Rock Da Funky Beats over a year ago. But if you're gories. They're not the Manics. ly. Sabres of Paradise, David Holmes | and Operation Blade with their hands going to "do" arrogance, you real- They're not Mansun. But they're and even Bjork are also featured. in the air moments, and the surpris- ly have to be the dog's testicles the next best thing: the Manics Unfortunately, there are no real ingly laid back Pump Up Nation... to get away with it. Singles for those who can't be arsed to stand-out tracks, which could explain However, whilst you would dance Bionic and Suffocate are slabs of read Marx and find out what why they haven't been released before. to most of this, there is the underpin- pop rock that will have the kids Willem de Kooning used to con- Some of the stuff does sound quite ning fact that everything is actually moshing in the aisles, but Maxi template. (Oh, and buy the spe- experimental and progressive, but like too gimmicky, a little insipid and a lit- Browne's whine, which is at first cial edition: extra tracks and all experiments, it doesn't always pro- tle unoriginal for this to actually be a alluring, really begins to piss me videos. You can show it off when duce good results. There is some good j good album. At least they're not off after the 4th or 5th track KA have sold out and boast about stuff here, but I'd only recommend this I Oxide and Neutrino. which replaces a chorus with a "owning rare early stuff'.) to completists who already have a lot of I Patrick whining scream. Maxi says on the Chris these artists' material. Tom

Frequency 27th June 2001 Felix Live!

Sou I wax Swell

DJing @ 333 club Everybody wants to know

Soulwax? Adding to the fact they do (Beggars Banquet) records, they also perform DJ sets. Recently they hit an East London It's still called Swell, but the band is llub and burnt the place with their now reduced to his singer/compositor irenzied tunes for two hours. A David Freel (as written in the sleeve jroovy slap that turns sullen and reti- "guitar, keyboards, vocals and other ;ent ones into bouncing dancers. crap"), helped on half of the songs by Passion is on their side, the two the drummer Rey Wasam. This sixth brothers, coming all the way from album (some songs of which are from Belgium, look like hard core music the recent EP "feeds") sounds like all bns that play their fav tunes. That Swell's stuff: an acoustic background, jives a mix of 80s and 90s hits; some transpierced by electric loops, with this songs you, at least I, last heard ages particular voice like a haunting lament. igo, when big hair and stripes were But it's darker and with less detach- /ery fashionable, on your big broth- ment: the songs are good, but their ;r*s turntable just before, in a brazen hypnotic construction now sometimes nove, throwing the record through Turin Brakes sounds repetitive, guitars are rougher, [he window, stopping his music dicta- the singing deeper... This general torship. Ears don't believe it, S Supported by David Kitt @ ULU blackness looks like a disillusion - Express , Vanilla Ice, Mickael except on a few songs, on "like pover- lackson with the theme from Billy ty" or "... a velvet sun" the magi is still lean acting like the show leitmotiv, ccording to the band them- before the main event began. efficient. ven Pump up the Jam from Aselves, this was a return Turin Brakes kept a packed The reduction of the team is maybe echnotronic, so good. That's music home for Turin Brakes, their first audience involved, interested due to the world indifference that had tie body can't stop stop rythming on, headline gig in the UK for some and excited throughout, playing to face the band for almost ten years, ;ven on hits hated 10 years ago. time. Ably supported by two tracks from their recent LP The and that's a shame as these lo-fi and Soulwax succeed to make sound other impressive - though slight- Optimist and some new material charmful tunes can be captivating. »ol really old fashioned stuff. Recent ly strange - acts, they put on a too. Even though the set lasted "Everybody wants ..." is a pleasant jtles are not forgotten, since show worthy of a homecoming for over an hour, the band main- album and I'll give it three points, but I tedonna Music is mixed with Daft celebration. tained interest with variation in highly recommend the excellent 41 and 'unk. The Dewaele brothers love Support came from David all the key musical areas. The Too Many Days Without Thinking ones, nixing, very funny when DJing, on Kitt, a young Irish singer and bassist, drummer and keyboard and hope that Swell will one day earn he verge to jump and frenetically guitarist. He was accompanied player occasionally sat out, leav- the little success they deserve. lance on their decks. Rest your feet by a woodwind player who we ing the two original band mem- Wore they're back in London. could hardly hear (actually I bers to perform some of the don't think his mic was turned slower, more reflective tracks, on) and a bearded guy who sat notably the excellent Futureboy. V/A cross-legged on the floor, play- Predictably, it was the ing a miniature keyboard. band's most familiar track, the Brassic Beats Vol.1 Strangely, the percussion was recently released single The all recorded - maybe the drum- Underdog (Save Me), which (Skint) mer couldn't make it. Despite provoked the biggest audience This is a real Classic Originally some overly long tracks with reaction. Less predictably, the released in 1996, Brassic Beats intro- exaggerated endings and per- live version was even better duced the world to the Skint sound, haps trying too hard to sound than the single - this was much pioneers of Big Beat. The compilation like David Gray, Kitt and his col- appreciated. has some great, timeless classics, such leagues came up with a thor- A great live band, Turin as Everybody needs a 303 by Fatboy oughly promising slice of folk- Brakes' rise to fame is sure to Slim and Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out pop. continue. They come highly rec- by Bentley Rhythm Ace. Also mixed are We were then treated to a ommended. Midfield General, Req and Cut Le completely unexpected but Dave Edwards Roc.Not all of the tracks are amazing, totally enjoyable performance but what is here is definitely worth a from an African drum troupe, purchase. Tom

Felix 27th June 2001 Frequency 9 Singles by Celine & Elsa

Goldfrapp - Utopia Genetically full video... Limp Bizkit - My Way ## Enriched (Mute) 0 I This is rich, as to the warm voice of Alison Dina Carroll - Someone Like Goldfrapp are added several layers of synths Although you all probably know about thii and violins. The soprano backing vocals in You (Mercury) band, I've got to review their new single, whicH

response of male choirs are amazing, but this Maybe you can offer this single to your 10- is utterly crap. The climax of fat, heavy, unin

track isn't as strong and stirring as the first year-old sister who has already all the spired, skate-punk as ugly as Fred Durst pic

single Human. Whitney Houston discography. If you don't face. Let's face it, he cannot even rap, jusi have that kind of sister, don't think about it sqeal his miserable lyrics. I'm only interestec anymore. why the hell he always put his hands on his will) Neil Finn - Last to Know when dancing.

(Parlophone) 3LW Witness - You are all my owrj An acoustic guitar and a nice voice - that makes a gentle song. It's inoffensive and for- No More (Baby I'ma do invention tunately short enough not to make this poor Is this the words of a desesperate fan or a lone melody boring. Neil Finn has done better with ly lover?The song doesn't sound grim, bui his previous single. rather lively and optimistic, in a kind of REM #)#)### Automatic for the people period vocals anc melodic style. Perfect to listen on the road for Faithless - We Come One the beach, or maybe you can find a more funky

(Cheeky) 1« I guess it's a good club hit, one of these that will make you move and dance until dawn. I still believe though (old fashioned, I know) that this kind of rhythm is boring at home, so where's the point in buying it?

Manifesto - JBN: All I Want

Cute slice of Rn'B pop trifle. These "3 little women" (how patronising is that?) do a nice Jinrai - Someplace else line in ditzy pop with a side helping of street Jazzy sirocco that warms up the mood, the jaz cred. This song isn't too bad, and the girls put touch remains soft, a flut and strings spice upj on a great performance. the sound. Dominating vocals, reminding me oi Jamiroquai, make all the song. Pretty nice tdj listen to, may not be jazz avant garde (o maybe as I'm far from being an expert), some! Spacek - How do I move? soul-RnB influences, deadly effective for aj lounge flavour. (Island) « This piece of calm Rn'B is prefect to chillout after the beat hammering club. Downtempo and soft vocals reign for a real treat; this makes a change from all commer- (Underdog) cial rubbish Rn'B you can hear on the radio. Same style as above, but these dance beats Even if it's not really my taste, I definitely are uninspired and bloody annoying, even enjoyed it. after a few drinks, and the aggressive design of the sleeve doesn't help. But it includes a

27th June 2001 Felix TICKETS: VENUE: £*2 in advance MDH £3 at the door t Thursday 28th June 8 til late I screen

Shrek Another Life

Director: Andrew Adamson our heros annoyance. To rid his Director: Philip Goodhew Moran plays Percy, a totally differ- Starring: Cameron Diaz, Mike home off all these irritating and Starring: Natasha Lee, Nick ent role from the character he is Myers and Eddie Murphy badly behaved layabouts (I mean Moran and loan Gruffudd best known in Lock Stock and Two the wolf from Little Red riding Smoking Barrels. However, he fails hen I started doing film Hood is smoking in his bed!) he nother Life is yet another Brit to find his feet as much as the Wreviews for Felix, the only must find the prince a wife. Off Afilm, which unlike the vast other actors, and along with a computer animated feature film Shrek goes with his goofy donkey majority is actually pretty good. rather daft accent, can be consid- was Toy Stoy. Since then, a whole companion (voiced by Eddie However, it is not based on drug ered at best adequate. new genre has spawned with the Murphy) to find the enviable dealing in Swansea or anything Nonetheless he puts across the advent of big flashy computers and Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) so else along those lines, but main point of his character, that of the company Pixar, who are that the prince can turn Shrek's Edwardian England. Which is why, being a charming teenager who, swamp back to its original tranquil- responsible for both Toy Stories unfortunately, no-one except your through his old age becomes an and the excellent Antz. The com- lity. mum is going to go and watch it. introverted and oppressive to his puter generated film goes to a new wife. level with the jaw dropping Final This film is very funny indeed, not The story is based on real life inci- Fantasy, released this summer, but only because of the purile dents surrounding Edith Thonpson, Gruffudd, who plays Bywaters is you can read more about that in burp/fart humour for the young who was hanged in the late 1920's excellent giving a dashing andj the Summer preview. children (and men) but also the for her part in the murder of her extrovert character a rather sinis- more sophisticated jokes aimed at husband, Percy, by her lover ter side. The chemistry between Shrek is Pixar's new offering and is the more sesible members of the Freddie Bywaters. All the evidence him and Lee is also worthy of note, made with the same verve, which audience (women). In the main line at the time, and this film, is made as it is their characters relationship made their previous offerings so of fire is Disney, with the film being sympathetic to her involvement in which is the driving force of the successful. Cleverly they have very cynical to all things sugary the crime. Bywaters himself admit- film. Although their chemistry once agian realised once you have and sweet. There are numerous ted to the crime and in his last doesn't light up the screen it is a good story, with interesting char- send ups with quotes and mis- days protested Thompson's inno- good enough to be plausible. acters, the humour and flashy quotes from famous films. My cence ultimately in vain. graphics part of it polish off the favourite is The Matrix piss take The film follows quite a long period! entire thing rather nicely. and also the interrogation of a gin- This film essentially follows her of time, at least twenty years and gerbread man, all involving the tragic life from before her marriage director Goodhew must be com- Shrek is a quiet ogre (voiced by princess character. prior to the First World War up mended for letting the film run its Mike Myers), who wants nothing until her final day on death row. course and, while not showing a more than to be left alone in his Shrek is an excellent film which will Natasha Lee puts in a very good high degree of flair, doing a solid! peaceful swamp. However, the evil be lauded for months to come. performance as Thompson, whom job reacreating an English tragedy. prince Farquaad banishes all of the we are led to believe is an outgo- fairytale characters from his king- Shrek is out on Friday. ing and funloving women restricted Another Life is out now. Drew I dom to Shrek's swamp, much to Drew by both her husband and soceity.

® Screen 27th June 2001 Felix

fit ',

. v . . . :

Evolution And finally....

Director: Ivan Reitman the middle of the desert. Duchovny Well then, the end is nigh, and this Claire@ddapr, Tom@metrodome, Starring: David Duchovny, plays the oddly named Ira Kane, a is my last little section. And to Anna@sony, Anne@momentum, Julianne Moore and Sean W- college professor who is sent to your boredom I'm gonna say some Engin@entertainment-film and Scott investigate. However, soon things thankyous. But that's tough Holly@mission-21. get out of control when aliens start because without these folks there A special thankyou to mmm, Evolution. Films with springing out of the rock. The mili- would be no film pages, and more Sharon@Odeon for the competi- Msingle scientifically worded tary are then called in to stop the importantly I'd have to pay to see tions and letting me into the Arnie titles, should be approached with evolution under the watchful eye of them. First the reviewers: Tom, premiere! care. As everyone knows they can government scientist Allison Reed Imran, Aamar, George, Katherine be good (The Matrix) or more likely (Moore). and Dave. Thanks for your help. they can be bad (The Cell). Many thanks to: Angie@lime, Evolution has good credentials. For Unbelievably this film was actually Naomi@beatwax, Jeni and a start it is directed by Ivan written as a Sci-Fi thriller. Reitman, one of the most success- However, when the director has ful comedic directors of the films such as Ghostbusters II and I980's. Secondly it stars Julianne Twins to his credit, you know that Here are a quick rundown on two A Knights Tale Moore, fresh from the success of 'thriller' is possibly used in the films I've seen out this summer: Hannibal. widest sense of the word. In fact, if A medieval story, where from the it was a thriller, it would have been Sidewalks of NY first scene of them singing "We However it stars David Duchovny, absolute shite and not worth Will Rock you", you know isn't the man who will be forever known watching. Instead it is merely a This is the new Edward Burns film, going to be that historically accu- is Fox Mulder. The mentality comedy of the nature of Reitman's which he stars in and also directs. rate. behind him starring in a film, I really previous projects. The humour isn't It is a documentary style film, fol- don't understand. For the last groundbreaking and the perform- lowing the life of six people in New Heath Ledger is the thatchers boy decade almost he has been investi- ances range from average through York and how their lives overlap who becomes champion jouster for gating aliens in the X-Files. In this to shocking. through relationships they have the hand of the beautiful proncess. Plm guess whathe is investigat- with people. However, his nemesis, Count |g aliens. Next is Sean William- All in all it's a run of the mill film Adhemar, played quite dreadfully Scott, whose previous outings have Hollywood film. I wouldn't recom- Heather Graham stars alongside a by Rufus Sewell has unfinished pen as inane college idiot in Road mend spending your hard earned host of actors, all of whom you business with our young hero at rip and Dude, Where's My Car? cash on it in the cinema. If and know the faces, but not their the Jousting World fie word 'stereotype' immediately when you're suicidally bored, names. However, it is Dennis Championships. ings to mind. watch it on video. Farina as a hilarious womanising TV host who steals the limelight. This is a truly dire film, in which pe plot of the film is not very origi- Evolution is out now. This isn't an easy film to watch, the only thing worth watching is fel. Wayne Green (Scott) discov- Drew but is ulimately very intelligent. the black haired lady blacksmith. [S a meteorite that has landed in HI

Felix 27th June 2001 Screen screen

Upcoming Summer Movies!

July this one, so if you thought JP II computer animated film which looks enjoyable or unbelievably bad. You was a JP too far, I wouldn't even absolutely staggering. However, the have been warned. First up for July is Tomb Raider, consider this one. However, the Japanese element is noticeable with starring Angelina Jolie. Following cast is surprisingly strong, Sam the indecipherable plot outline: A September the slating by the American media, Neill, William H Macy and Tea female scientist makes a last stand I think that computer games made Leoni, so we may be all in for a on Earth with the help of a ragtag One to definitely look out for is from films is possibly moe effective pleasant surprise. More appealing team of soldiers against an invasion Moulin Rouge, with Nicole Kidman than vice-versa. Look out for some seems Swordfish starring John of alien phantoms. One for the Sci- and Ewan McGregor. It may be an unexpected appearances, including Travolta and Don Cheadle. Fi freaks amongst us perhaps. Tim acquired taste with lots of music Rimmer from Red Dwarf. High Basically a heist film with a twist, it Burton serves up Planet Of The and dancing, but it has already had Heels and Lowlifes is a brit flick follows how a computer hacker Apes in mid-August. With Mark a lot of positive reviews following tries to rob $6 billion dollars from directed by Mel Smith. The plot Wahlberg as the astronaut who the first screenings in Caan. Look the government. Vinnie Jones also surrounds how a nurse plots to 'accidentally' arrives on a strange out for Kylie Minogue popping us as makes an appearance in this one. blackmail some bankrobbers out of planet ruled by aliens after going a fairy! A few weeks later sees their heist. With a cast including through a wormhole. This promises Steven Speilbergs new film Artificial Minnie Driver and Michael August to be one of the films to watch this Intelligence (Al). Starring Haley Joel Gambon (always superb), this summer. Personally I'm interested in Osment (Sixth Sense) as an android could be one to watch for. This is First this month is Rush Hour 2, seeing Helena Bonham-Carter as a in the 21st century, this promises to released at the same time as Anything with Jackie Chan has got chimpanzee. Paul Hogan and Linda be a real treat. And then before you Jurassic Park III. Steven Speilberg to be worth a good look. Final Final Kozlowski return for Crocodile know it, it's 12th October:^American is not having anything to do with Fantasy: The Spirits Within is a Dundee in LA. This could be midly Pie 2 and the beginning of term.

i Screen 27th June 2001 Felix The Felix Crossword 1211 A, by Wailer Ned

Across: Down: I. Burt crashes into repre- 1. The clientele move with sentative and worries sticks. (7) greatly. (7) 2. Paper tracks offer travel 5. Beggar has 1 's head discounts. (9) around leash. (7) 3. Unwarranted if it's not 9. Nymph is unavailable timetabled. (5) before first year. (5) 4. Hats may spin balls! (7) 10. An impulse for each edi- 5. Coloured bear following tor groaned gently.- (9) agony. (7) II. Crap, my old lover's stuck 6. Fast ones get the point right in mortar! (9) across. (9) 12. Foe? Why, for a clean 7. Lament the ridge's col- out... (5) lapse. (5) 13. ...writers have cot in drug 8. Second picture whipped ship! (7) out your weapon again? 15. Rubbish collector may (7) may you sneeze. (7) 14. Unable to get up, I've 17. Lives about edges. (7) taken trips in slumber. (9) 19. Sweet sand on point. (7) 16. Hints at a thousand coins 21. Suspect highland leaders men hit. (9) of something fishy. (5) 17. Wazzup! Liquid on pink, 23. Wares are electrified, and young flower. (4-3) occasionally going 'Moo!', 18. Shh! It's a bad license! (7) perhaps (4-5) 19. Splits dived, I see! (7) 25. Dead boner got wider! (9) 20. Abductions bring in the 26. Rule over 23, perhaps? profits. (7) (5) 22. Mock with your mouth full 27. We hear the boundary at all times. (5) removal will make us 24. Tear right into the shack. safer. (7) (5) 28. Misery sits awkwardly for the torturers. (7)

Thinking of earning The exams are finished. The projects are handed in. The drains smell and there are lots of virtually naked people in some cash in October'? Hyde Park. Yes, it is Summer, and yes, this is our last issue. Long term positions available next term. This does of course mean that this is also the last crossword There are employment opportunities in all areas you'll get from me for a while, but I hope that what I have pro- of the Union's Catering, Bars, Ents and vided will last you at least the trip home. It should do so long Reception. Hours are arranged to suit you. as you don't live outside Zone 2. It has occasionally been said that what I write here doesn't always make much sense - it There will be an Introduction & Training Day on seems a bit harsh as it always makes perfect sense to me. Friday, September 28, 9am-4pm. Come and meet However, bearing this in mind, I have even more space for the team and find out more. Lunch wilt be nonsense than usual, so hold onto your sanity if you find it a provided. difficult trip - it'll all be over in three pages' time. For more information please either drop by the

Union reception, or phone on 020-7594-8060, The Little One Make a date in your diary for the Union Training Above is the crossword I had prepared for last week's issue, Day, Friday, October 28, 9am-4pm. We look but this was unfortunately cancelled due to the weather being forward to working with you! far too nice and everyone going to the beach instead - don't accept the Editor's phoney 'money excuse'. I wouldn't wish to see a crossword wasted, so I have scrounged an extra page /CU from the Editor to bring it to you this week instead. It has the IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION unoriginal title of 1211 A, though I refer to it affectionately as Work for yourself. Work at the Union... Marmaduke. The answers to Marmaduke here may well be ...and make a difference to your social life. published next year if anyone still cares by then, but I'm equal- ly likely to simply forget. Still, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Crossword 27th June 2001 Felix The Felix Crossword 1211 B by Wailer Ned

The Big One Crosswords Past a correct answer, come and make an empas- I did, of course, have a big plan for you at the First the result of 1 209's crossword, where I sioned plea to the Editor for your prize. end of the year, and despite having a spare am sorry to report that I made a mistake. I The answers to both 1209 and 1210 are at crossword, I selflessly pressed on with my would normally give you another week, how- the end of this interminable drivel, if you can task, formulating the eighty clues required ever, some completed it regardless (pointing be bothered to read that far. and losing significant amounts of hair. You out the mistake of course) and there is now may eventually decide it wasn't worth it, but too little of term left. Therefore, Amy Thank you I'm not going to be here for you to tell me, so Elliott of Chem Eng III wins 1209's prize of It simply wouldn't be a final issue of Felix I'm not overly concerned. The result is the a £10 book token. Please try to pry it from without a huge list of thanks to those who quadrilateral behemoth found above, and the hands of our editor as soon as you can... made it all possible... I will try to avoid doing the clues are placed somewhat convention- bring a crowbar. a Paltrow. Special thanks go to Dr Hot ally to the right. Good luck - it should be Next to 1210, for which did receive a poten- Fudge who produced many a great cross- pretty easy, but may take a while if you don't tially correct entry but the editor lost it due word, giving you all welcome relief from my know all the answers. to a freak accident including a chair and one efforts. Not only over-sexed, but over your of the Felix computers. So, if you did bring in nearest ice-cream dessert too. Unfortunate-

27th June 2001 Felix he Felix Crossword

Across: 57. Omission allows you to see too well. (9) 23. The panacea ate her, hears the museum's Il3. Straight-laced, and certainly not looking 58. Lions precede fall. (5) manager. (7) to go white-water rafting. (13) 61. A note. (5) 24. Crying points to milking, only thicker. (9) 14. Rasp barrel's bottom, perhaps. (6) 62. Grovelling to begin with an initial double 26. Plank on deck? (6) 15. Fear of 38's leader, we hear. (6) gin? (7) 27. Without manners and acting sick. (3-7) 17. Peer wraps on behalf of chili. (6) 63. Thematic mania has a head for numbers. 30. Duplicator is choppier too? (5-6) 18. Usual location is frequent. (11) (13) 31. Flea in royalty makes jumpers. (5) 19. Legs are final hour, perhaps. (8) 67. WW2 cipher flea is very mysterious. (9) 32. Stand straight, listening intently. (9) |20. Critical work sees again. (7) 69. Knock-out seat folding on beach. (4-5) 34. Navel activates stomach, perhaps. (5,6) 21. Proximity to a Jason, see? (9) 71. Act like before bad dent. (7) 37. Wars try to get away. (9) 22. Murderous aid, perhaps, really goes with 75. Mess ate Crete, and so on... (8) 38. Firearm art explodes on Roman dry land. its outfit. (9) 76. Keeping up materialisations. (11) (5-5) 25. Prevents actors from falling out of win- 77. Hell shortly encountered a hat. (6) 42. Aquainted with shelf, you have the infor- dows. (6,7) 78. Spice time of year. (6) mation. (9) 28. Responder pretends again. (7) 79. Mythical key. (6) 47. Opera's lead harbour alliances present s29. Sounds like a neutered garden implement! 80. Broadsheet's post holds cables (9,4) good possibilities. (13) (5) 48. In Imperial political style, it's an atypical 33. Constrictor on back street craft. (5) Down: lathe. (13) [35. Unused country is a tip! (9) 1. Sieze ante-room. (6) 49. Celebrity is in two points of smarmy gen- 36. Feeling a little incredible? (11) 2. Tea paid five to be multipurpose, (8) tlemen. (5) 9. Increase rank to make you buy more! (9) 3. Rebellious rip offs? (4-5) 50. Depth works it out. (7) J10. Precipitation prophet is a stormy guy. (10) 4. Broth in a warehouse? (5) 51. Drat! A French and frozen wasteland! (6) 41 . Hack into bottomless Eden to have gone 5. Plan before obtaining spiritual harmony 55. Cricket ground at altitude hurts the ears to Gretna Green, perhaps. (6) (11) (4-7) 43. A sweet spy - are you bad? (5) 6. Lights have a growler, I hear. (6) 59. Lowly nails provides foundation. (9) 44. Creep to short trainer. (5) 7. Clears record's, perhaps, itch. (9) 60. Feature boats in space! (9) U5. Liquid from emptied glass is a little 8. Wedding boys in hardback, maybe. (5) 64. Feline tries to fly through small doors (8) unsteady on its feet. (5) 9. Trains and cars over this unslanted spot- 65. Pubs tax regards initial name-sakes. (7) w6. Sit on faeces? (5) marking. (5-8) 66. Fish go for education there, we hear (5) E2. Natural water has been made bouncy. (6) 10. Marinaded uphill. (7) 68. Oil is the word. (6) 53. Dust cloud in make-up kit. (6-4) 11. Lawyers are pants! (6) 70. Warmed vicious discussion. (6) i54. Like ruling party is tiring! (9) 12. Column gets diploma for researchers. 72. Require the French pin. (6) 16. Confectionery without resistance is kind (4,9) 73. Fruit gets you metre. (5) I at heart. (4-7) 16. Set up around misery. (5) 74. Consumers are roughly sure on point. (5)

ly, he's still in exams as Felix went to press, for the dictionary and self-flagellating wish you well, and you'll have to put up with lut I'm told he'll ooze over next year's pages tirades when I realised phenomenon wasn't the altogether inferior crosswords found in Irith abandon. Thanks also to Turnip Henry, officially spelt with "Do-do-do-do-do" sung the broadsheets (who am I kidding?). If you Nth a bigger vocabulary than any other root after it, as well as occasionally proofing and are coming back next year, then I'm sure vegetable I've met, for he did many a cross- trying out crosswords. Thanks also to Carol we'll meet again in some guise or other. pord at the beginning of this year before I Vorderman who took more verbal abuse than jven ventured into this office. These thanks a television presenter generally deserves. Answers to Crossword 1209 |re so richly deserved because it does in fact Finally, thanks to Mike and Will who are just Across: Heirloom (mis-spelt as Hierloom), take rather a while to compile one of thiese great people and (if you'll indulge me) my Peace, Waists, Advocate, Menu, World pings and can, done regularly, take impor- flatmates, parents, producers of all fine Eng- Class, Observe, Packing, Blacksmith, Yell, tant chunks of time away from your academ- lish dictionaries and every single person who Sadistic, Noodle, Drill, Squarest. Down: Pres- ic, social and sex lives (though Dr Hot Fudge has ever worked behind the bar in the Union. sure, House Wives, Impairs, Spiv, Cancel, Combined the task with the latter quite Jettison, Inane, Diaphanous, Bollards, Key- effectively). Thanks of course to the Editor, Goodbye board, Discuss, Critic, Lulls, Till. hn, for indulging my requests for prizes It now remains only for me to say goodbye to and many thanks to all those clever people you, and congratulations if you managed to Answers to Crossword 1210 mo not only completed their crossword read this far. I hope you all have a fabulous Across: Flea, Alarm Clock, Straddle, Udders, Pds, but made it all the way over to the summer, be it wallowing in exotic seas, Tedium, Pattered, Bald, Nappy, Nice, Airliner, plix division of the Big Brother studio to investigating new and unspoiled foreign cul- Gloomy, Lawyer, Clutches, Rainforest, Iced. Pnd them into me. Also, thanks for putting tures, or trapped in a packed tube train, Down.- Glitterati, Safari, Handyman, Made, IP with the occasional mistake. Thanks to stopped in the middle of the tunnel, with a Amount, Bludgeon, Scar, Paper, Encumbered, re members of the Felix staff who tolerated child projectile-vomiting over your leg. Delaying, Yoghurts, Narrow, Orchid, Ajar, fV disturbed mumblings, repeated searches If you're not coming back next year, then I Chef.

P Felix 27th June 2001 Crossword Don't sink next year

Tell next year's students about what you do- put an entry in the Union Handbook

Entries should not be more than 200 words and should be sent to [email protected] by 1st July For extra effect why not include a picture?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — "1 Felix returns in the Autumn under new management- and with a new office

ist ail de< threats & offers c i B - - - | [email protected].

i All letters should be sent to: % Will Dugdale, Editor Felix The Media Centre Beit Quad Prince Consort Road SW7 2BB

The new offfice is in the basement of Beit Quad on the left-hand side as you enter from the street. Feel free to drop in for coffee.

The phone number remains the same- 020 759 48072

Un 2t) ion 27th June 2001 .Felix* Thankyou lain Angus For the helpful advice, confidence and providing a footrest (and keeping the goth thing to yourself) Mustafa Arif The only person in College with a similar job to mine- good job on the website Bashari Bakari Well-written, revealing interviews with top businessmen- and you even laid the pages out yourself! Tom Bailess One of my most faithful staff, enthusiastic and full of good ideas (see page 14) Pete Boyle For the stories & gossip- sorry the Masterplan didn't work out, you did a good job though Kevin Butcher Undoubtedly the nicest person in the Union Ruth Chappie For the advice Helena Cocheme For showing undeniable courage in the face of adversity- and being so sweet Hamish Common Your encyclopedic knowledge of all things Union has saved my skin a few times- thanks Nina De Roy Good writing style, and I lost count of how many times you stayed up all night to do an article Will Dugdale Arguably the only person with a sense of humour more fucked up than mine, it's always very obvious when it's you walking up the stairs. Good luck next year! Katherine Dyer-Perry For talking me out of doing so many stupid things, and the only person whose advice includes "go home" Stef Evans Surprisingly sharp for a fluffy sabb, you've got me out of many a scrape, and hopefully done our read- ers a lot of good John Foster Thanks for being such a good sport- and well done for not taking the bait very often Dr Hot Fudge For the unashamed seXwords & appearing in that picture Mariam Ghorbannejad For the enthusiasm, and the best words that any could say to me: "What do you want me to write about" Vicky Hind Ditto Pete, Rag gained a lot from your enthusiasm Andy Houldsworth If we were a sitcom, you'd so easily be music editor, arguably too cool to be here Mark Home For the comedy- on and off stage Mandy Hurford For the advice and being so understanding- despite the fact I cause more trouble than anyone else Chris Jackson For all the work in Media Group, delivering us from evil and for putting up with my accounting Matthew Kaplan Good Science page this year- and I was flattered to be asked for advice by you- think it should have been the other way round. No thanks for the music though! Jonas Lindsay For being enthusiastic & a good photographer- sorry I couldn't find much for you to do- and I really wasn't trying to get you killed by sending you on dangerous assign- ments MCP Litho For pulling off miracles on a weekly basis, despite my erratic work and timing Jonathan Matthews For the books, the opinions & the friend- ship, thanks Gareth Morgan For teaching me, well, everything, I think you deserve a page of your own Wailer Ned For screwing up peoples' minds Drew Nienhuis Ditto Jonathan, and for putting up with the state of the office, me los- ing your post and screwing up your pages Andy Ofori Advice, and me taking the piss out of your job. Go be a good management consultant Penelope Parker Good luck with Will Dave Parry For not killing me Lucy Penman For saving a lot of embarrassing mistakes Steve Perrott For all the driving- can't have been fun Dave Roberts For giving me someone to look up to, and someone to try and prove wrong Ham al Rubiae Bringing a lot to the job- good luck too Nikolai Segura For filling the letters page for a whole term, you heathen! Ed Sexton I hope in a few years time I'll get to be as good a writer as you- Earl's Court won't be the same without you Sam Sharpe For the banter, advice and even the occa- sional column Jag Singh Also for the articles, and for standing your ground over human rights. Made for a Serious Debate Tim Sterry Great story, sorry I got your name wrong Pascale Taylor For staying up all those late nights- not sure why Richard Taylor For the gossip, even when it involved me Andrew Wheeler Far too classy for a medic, you're one of the few people I know I could imagine as a real doctor... Great effort on the arts pages Justin van der Toorn Nice logos, thanks for brightening up the pages Jo White Proof-reading AND work- ing with lain. So brave Alisdair Wren I really threw you in at the deep end and you came up trumps in the first week. Always full of ideas and a great sense of humour

And everyone else who's helped this year- sorry if I've missed anyone out. Thanks for reading John

Felix 27th June 2001 The End