4 th df

Here's looking at you

IftLBt- iote 2

r our Christmas Po

1 win a hamper of gc [email protected]

: KIM Co! I I'dl ! \|n\ tuesday5th STA Bar Trivia - Davincrs 8pm.

Win £50 CASH and carnival tickets! Free to enter.

Wednesday 6th 1

Cheesy Wotsits - icu 8-1 I total cheese in dBs, cocktails and cheese free room 2

thursday 7th Cocktail Night - DaVinci's 5-11

friday8th &U%~£5|'T Gordon Southern & Paul Sinh plus open mic doors 8pm £2.50 / £2 last show of term - don't miss it. shaft disco, 80's pop & 21st century trash & garage in the UDH cocktail bar

£1.50 / €2 without icu card / free with entscard

Time Out available from icu newsagent plus for only £1 (students only) JNEWS ews East meets West hits protest, News in Brief & the entrepre- neurs' Challenge East meets protest i s m Indian society show blighted as anti-Indian Government Your chance to vote on the year {protests infiltrate show that was- and win a hamper full of goodies

[SEAN MOORE only to find that within twenty-four hours that the Last Thursday ICU Indian Society held their majority had been ripped down and ruined. Nina and Miriam expose BSE [annual East Meets West show. In the biggest The society has suffered from similar vandalism across the EU, and some of the (event in College, the this year's show saw over 800 for a number of months, and consequently have horrors of Bloody Sunday. found it very hard to publicise events. Though IC ale, including over 150 participants, take part Makes you proud, doesn't it? [in the sold-out event. The show included various security was briefed on the situation, the perpetra- dances, catwalks, comedy sketches, and live tors have yet to be found. The cost to the Indian singing from both eastern and western cultures. society (one of the largest socs in IC) is estimated Alcohol poisoning and Nightline Some of the most artistically talented students set to be in excess of a thousand pounds altogether. someone to talk to when every- out to display that Imperial was not just about What has worried security and the show organis- one else has gone, home and you're. . I sad. studying. Including a gracious catwalk and a very ers so deeply is the well organised and mass lively bollywood dance many present described it orchestrated nature of this latest attack. The as a thoroughly enjoyable night. However, the leaflets were professionally designed and a few Matt reveals his surprising event was marred by a number of attacks from hundred sneaked in past Union stewards. knowledge of mountain medi- unknown groups, apparently trying to bring the Organisers appeared mystified that two hundred cine, this week hypothermia show into disrepute. leaflets had been inserted in the programs, despite According to organ the Great Hall having jjers, the philosophy of|| apparently been left :he evening was repre- attended for "about Jon & Liz blink/dazzled by the sented by numerous five minutes". bright lights of Hong Kong eastern and western The pamphlets jets, showing, "a har- referred to two groups monious unity of the 1 called the "National iiverse cultures". Sikh Youth" and Hqmish meets his elder- However, right from "Khalsa Human Rights". betters, and Vickygtves Rag a the beginning Felix was unable to run-down for fh< veel became apparent that contact Khalsa on the minority were HBM number provided, but [attempting to use the night was able to send a fax The leaflet in question Is an opportunity for racial through asking about the Secular society make more [and religious demonstrations. After they were dis- organisation's role at Imperial College, although no waves, good things to :ay tributed on seats in the Great Hall, many of the response had been received as Felix went to press. Mr Pollard, and Biochem Soc official programmes for the event (some two hun- The leaflet also referred to a report called "India- dred) had pamphlets inserted in them without the Torture, Rape & Deaths in Custody" by Amnesty organisers' knowledge. The professionally-printed International, which is not available among the pamphlets complained of apparent abuse of non- many reports on the Indian Government by the Extra large helping fiis week of Diary, to last you all the way to Hindu's in India. Questioning the Indian govern- human rights watchdog. 1 1 92 without cold turkey ment's human rights record, the leaflets accused Fortunately organisers collected most of the ia's "Nazi Government" of "Ethnic cleansing". leaflets as soon as they were discovered, and the Jatil Damania, Vice President of the Indian Society incident did not substantially overshadow the condemned the protest as a "cowardly attack", show, which raised approximately £3000 for chari- All sorts- including a special adding that it was "we do not dispute freedom of ty. The atmosphere at the after show party was novelty book review sectionilNo expression, but it was completely against the ethos described as "electric" and organisers praised the books, you see? of the evening and was inappropriate to the situa- "enormous" response to the show. However, the tion." attempt to jeopardise East Meets West serious Even before Thursday night, the society had questions as to whom or what organisation could Mountaineering + Phoenix. And [complained that, as with their last three events, be behind the persecution of the society. I'm really, really sorry Etch- I'll their posters had been interfered with. Organisers print it next week. had printed 150 colour posters, at a cost of £400, Felix 1191 Cover photograph: William Foster

t Felix 4th December 2000 News The Br Christmas Poll 2000

tickets, vouchers, top cds, lollip

hie winner

he minute... Best album Best band Best film Best TV program Worst TV moment Most tacky Channel 5 moment Best news story (in Felix) Best moment (in College) Worst moment (in College) Best sabbatical (eg Tasha Newton) Worst sabbatical (eg Tasha Newton) Biggest fuckwit in college (eg John Clifford) Most sorely missed (eg Dave Hellard) Most hated & why (eg John Clifford) Most complicated,overdone and underused piece of technology in College (eg C&G Active, Click, 1041 ife etc etc) Most needless and difficult piece of political correctness in London Most failed event (eg any Freshers dinner) Most stupid poster on walkway Most obvious obsession with sex Most clueless & inept department

Your Name & Department Your e-mail address

© N ews 4th December 2000 Felix of ICU Council. Come along to see former BOAT CLUB HIT THE WAVES LIVERPOOL COMMON President Andy Heeps introduce a paper on "CCUs- value for money", C&GU present an Imperial College researchers announced Union President Hamish Common was head- even larger paper going the other way, and an

work on Friday 1st which it is hoped may ing on a tour of the north last Thursday. In his argument about a cat. Papers at Council are improve the abilities of rowers and reduce the capacity as Chair of the Aldwych Group, the named "Paper A" onwards, and President likelihood of them sustaining an injury. student unions of the country's leading univer- Hamish Common is currrently deciding which Researchers from the Biodynamics group stud- sities, Mr Common was due to meet with the letter to use after Z... ied elite members of the Boat Club using an Vice-Chancellors of Leeds & Liverpool to dis- MR I scanner at St Mary's, which allows sub- cuss, student issues at top research universi- AND SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS.. jects to carry out tasks normally within it. The ties. He was then due to meet student repre- images allow the strain on the spine to be moni- sentatives at Newcastle, who are pushing the With two weeks until the end of term, don't for- tored, and showed that differing stresses were issue of top-up fees, and is "hoping for get that next week's Felix will be the last of the placed on the spine and lower back when row- increased dialogue and a journey of less than year and will come out on Wednesday. So keep ers were either fatigued or deliberately simulat- nine hours." an eye out for the trolley for your bumper ing poor technique. The researchers are hoping Christmas special, featuring exclusive reports to compare how techniques differ across boat IN NEED OF COUNCILLING? from Miss World, the results of this year's poll clubs, and are studying a new rowing technique. and all the scandal we can print just before the Don't forget, tomorrow sees the monthly meet holidays.

Got a bright idea?

World's biggest Challenge for student Entrepreneurs launches at Imperial College

he Imperial College Entrepreneurship A short talk by Professor Sue Birley of The Networks). On the 30th January 2001, the TCentre launches its inaugural Entrepreneurship Centre, "How to turn an new Rector of Imperial College, Sir Richard Entrepreneurs' Challenge on Thursday, 7th idea into a business idea?" will cover the key Sykes, former Chairman of GlaxoWellcome, December, 2000 in the Mech Eng Foyer. This elements of what it takes to turn an idea into will formerly launch the Imperial College two part Challenge, the Ideas Challenge and an entry to the Ideas Challenge, one that Entrepreneurship Centre, and the twenty the New Business Challenge, offers total could win one of the twenty £1,000 prizes prizes of £1,000 for the Ideas with the most confirmed prize money of £45,000 (further and go on to greater things. Professor Birley, potential will be awarded in front of leading prizes are to be confirmed), including a mas- an entrepreneur herself, is a world-renowned figures from business, government, academia sive First Prize in New Business Challenge of Professor of Entrepreneurship, a prolific and College alumni. £25,000. writer and co-editor of the Financial Times Students interested in the Challenge, the The Entrepreneurs' Challenge Launch Party Mastering Enterprise series; she was former- launch event or attending a workshop should on the 7th December, beginning at 6pm in ly a Director of Natwest Group and was register their interest at [email protected], ME220, will give students the opportunity to recently appointed Director of BAe Systems, or look at the website, single with a number of employees from one of the world's largest aerospace and www.ec.ms.ic.ac.uk/challenge for additional London's leading financial institutions and defence companies. information. Places will be strictly limited at Management consultancies (including The Entrepreneurs' Challenge Launch Party both the Launch Party and the workshops, so McKi nsey and Barclays Capital) and a num- is followed by a number of workshops that get in touch early. Good luck with that million er of venture capitalists and entrepreneurs will give students key insights into how to pound idea.

T hose Imperial students with ideas will have complete the two-page summary for the [For further information, look at the web- e chance to discuss the ins and outs of Ideas Stage (closing date: 22nd January site: www.ec.ms.ic.ac.uk/challenge build, n9 a business, or developing their idea, 2001) of that million pound idea. The work- The Entrepreneurs' Challenge is run by th qualified professionals. For others, it will shops will cater to all levels of business Imperial College Entrepreneurship Centre. °e an opportunity to meet, in an informal set- knowledge and will be run by qualified pro- All ideas and entries will be held in the

ln 9. employees of firms in which they may fessionals (including employees of Dresdner strictest confidence].

ne ° day wish to work. Kleinwort Benson, Credit Suisse and Digital

Felix 4th December 2000 News NEE-wfeTO KNOW

BSE: Not just a British problem

NINA DE ROY facing speculation over the health of ears over mad cow disease it's cattle. Spain has already F have resurfaced in Europe reported it's first two cases of this week, this time with France's the disease and Germany is cattle coming under the spot- described as having been light. Concern about the safety plunged into a state of shock by of French beef products has last week's discovery that BSE been growing, following a recent has now landed on it's shores. surge in the number of BSE Just a week ago the German infected cattle and CJD related government was insisting that no deaths, amongst the human pop- BSE actually existed in the coun- ulation. try. This statement has since So far, vets have registered been retracted and now German 100 cases of BSE in French farmers are helplessly watching herds this year, many of which their beef market evaporate ed to come into force from as it's way onto the UK market! were recorded in the Normandy before early as today and each test is Officials from the UK Foo: region, where the French Prime their eyes. Politicians in the estimated to cost around £20 per Standards Agency have beer, Minister Lionel Jospin was trying country appear to be doing little cow. This may seem rather sent over there in order to seel| to calm public fears. In a state- to appease the quarter of a mil- expensive; given the large num- assurances from the French govt ment to the French parliament, lion Germans that rely upon cat- ber of cattle that will have to be ernment that BSE infected meat] he later announced stricter con- tle farming for their livelihood. In screened-however the commis- unsuitable for sale on the French! trols for livestock feed and called a national announcement, sion insists the price is worth it, market, will not be finding it? for a temporary ban on the sale German Health Minister Andrea in order to give consumers an way onto our shelves. They an of T-bone steaks. His proposals fisher advised people to stick to extra safety guarantee for the said to want proof that contain have since been echoed by sen- organic beef only-thus encourag- beef that they buy. A spokesman nated meat is not being allowesj ior EU officials who insist that ing them to reject the remaining for the EU commissioner, David to re-enter the food chain these measures should be intro- 95% of the meat reared on Byrne, said: "He Interestingly however, and corf duced, not just to France, but to German farms. Oman and other considers it essential that in trary to the wishes of man), all of the 15 European Union Middle Eastern countries were the current circumstances we opposition party members, bott| member states as well. Europe's quick to follow suit, they have review the implementation of our government and the FSAi food safety commissioner: Mr announced a ban on all beef BSE controls". have rejected calls for a tempo] David Byrne told journalists at a imports (with the exception of Analysts say that there is a rary ban on French beef prod-i Brussels news conference : milk) from France, strong chance both of these pro- ucts, claiming that there is I there has been concern in my Ireland, Portugal and posals will be accepted by the scientific reason for them to 1 mind as to the controls relating Switzerland. Similar precautions member states, and countries so. As the FSA chairman himse'1 to meat and bone meal(MBM) in are also being considered by outside the EU, such as Poland, put it, in a recent interview c animal feed. I have put forward other Gulf States and Greece. In will ha.ve to set up their own BBC Radio 4, "This year 1 proposals that are essential for a desperate attempt to calm the monitoring bodies if they wish to Britain we have over 1,000 the enhancement of consumer escalating situation, ministers continue exporting cattle and cases of BSE as compared 1 confidence." Sales of beef in from the 15 EU nations met for a meat products to Europe. only 100 in France. Their n# France, alone have slumped by gruelling 16 hours of talks to dis- Here in the UK, the Prime bers are simply going up afl as much as 50% and some coun- cuss growing fears over what the Minister has apparently been ours are going down, but we HI tries such as Italy and commission called "disturbing" warned that Britons could be have more. Our position is t^'l Switzerland have gone for an all levels of BSE, in France in par- eating French beef, infected with the risk from imported meat ^\ out ban of certain French meat ticular. They have since pro- BSE. In a letter, published in the meat products should not ^1 products, until they have suffi- posed new tests, designed to Times, Tony Blair was told by the greater than the risk fry cient evidence that they are safe target older animals that have Agricultural minister, Nick domestic meat and meat pr0 I for human consumption. not been covered by the existing Brown, that meat from older ani- ucts. " However France is not alone in safety checks. These are expect- mals, reared in France, could find

m News 4th December 2000 Felix NE'&Hro KNOW

Bloody Sunday: Day of reckoning

MARIAM GHORBANNEJAD organiser, informed the crowd that a Young Hooligans (DYH)' and contin- 7.62mm round in the SLRs. Notably oday, the inquiry into the deaths meeting was starting at Free Derry ues that traditional crowd control though, one of those killed, 17 year f 13 Catholics during a para- Corner, where Miss Devlin, Mr methods such as CS gas and rubber TD old Kevin McElhimey, had an entry troops operation in Londonderry's Cooper and Lord Brockway would bullets were not proving effective in wound which measured only 3mm. Bogside District on January 30 be giving speeches. This occurred at dealing with them. Stormont and The pathologists' findings could be ||72, will re-open. 4.15pm, ten minutes after a single Westminster were keen for the at fault or the bullet may have been The announcement of a fresh tri- shot was fired in William Street. Army to restore peace in the fired from a different type of rifle Ijinal was made by Tony Blair in Four or five armoured vehicles province, particularly in the catholic altogether, possibly a 0.22 in (which January 1998. Oral evidence was descended on William Street in an areas. More relevant to the inquiry the SA80 fires) . Size of the entry l/en at Londonderry's Guildhall in attempt to break up the crowd. is the statement Ford made at the wound alone does not give the March of this year. Lord Saville of Thousands fled as paratroopers end of the memo, only three weeks whole picture as the same bullet can Mewdigate is chairing the inquiry, emerged from their vehicles. Some prior to the fateful riots of Bloody produce various dimensions accord- (Kith costs running to £13m so far. tried to make arrests; others ran Sunday. "The minimum force neces- ing to whether the it was a ricochet, Although the orig- towards street corners. These 21 sary to achieve a restoration of law the type of body tissue infiltrated

inal tribunal of arm and order is to shoot selected ring- f f Unleashing a furious y snipers and the path it follows in the air. It 1972 led by Lord leaders among the DYH after clear seems with just three rifles to exam- barrage of bullets J J Chief Justice Lord warnings have been given." He pro- ine, it will be extremely difficult to Mdgery found the Army to be inno- opened fire unleashing a furious bar- claimed. establish the distance from which cent of any wrongdoing, the families rage of bullets onto the streets of The self-loading rifles in question the guns were fired. Thus making it of the victims disagreed. Their per- Bogside. In Fahen Street, one man were the main infantry weapons hard to confirm whether what wit- sistent campaigning to get justice was even seen holding up a white deployed by the British Army in the nesses have stated about the para- for their relatives has caused the hankerchief but this did not deter 1970s. However they were phased troopers firing from close range is Prime minister to set up this new the soldiers from directing shots at out steadily until they were eventu- true or not. public inquiry. It will re-examine the him. Sounds of machine guns, ally replaced by the SA80 in 1986. The irony about the whole inquiry evidence, which could prove that the thought to be the work of the IRA, Of the 20 rifles produced in the is that the truth about the events of civilian victims were unarmed at the punctuated the continuous hard Widgery inquiry, 14 have been Bioody Sunday was known '25 years time of the shootings. banging of the self-loading rifle destroyed as well as 10 sold to pri- ago'. The Crown would have had 'no At approximately 2.30pm on (SLRs), attributed to the British. In vate companies. Although the prospect of a successful defence' in Sunday January 30 1972, the march five separate locations around inquiry was told the 5 rifles left four specific cases; it was claimed

of civilian rights demonstrators left Bogside thirty people were killed or would "most probably" lying °ythe then Attorney Bishofields. It is estimated that the injured, predominantly young men be kept | J Qn tne ground - - General, Sir Peter *ge crowd comprised of between but including a woman knocked secure Rawlinson. Of when shot twice at II !0,000 and 20,000 people, certainly down by a speeding Army vehicle. ly, a further two these men, Wray, 'he biggest gathering ever held in Lawyers for the fourteen victims were destroyed close range 22, was 'most proba- Londonderry. The event was trou- have accumulated 60,000 pages of m January of last year, against an bly' lying on the ground when he ble-free until the protestors reached evidence to date. Mystery still sur- internal Ministry of Defence order. was shot twice at close range. lr|e first army barricade on William rounds the rifles which Lord Saville One of the victim's relatives, John Widgery had exonerated the Army btreet an hour later, barring their asked the Ministry of Defence for, Kelly, whose younger brother was on the soldiers' own version of ^trance into the Guildhall and back in 1998. He had requested al! killed, was outraged saying; "We events along with the forensic evi- Waterloo Place. It was at this point the SLRs used by the paratrooper believe the destruction of the guns dence given by Dr John Martin. The ,hat the noting started, where it is so that they could be subject to rig- just before Mr Blair's announcement Doctor's report suggested that the alle9ed, that men of the 2nd orous forensic examination. This of the new tribunal proves there dead were armed with guns or battalion were stoned for 10 min- could reveal whether adapted rifles was a deliberate attempt to pervert bombs. But he has admitted now utes. CS gas and a water cannon ordered by Major General Robert the course of justice." those tests for lead particles leading

wer e used to disperse the crowd, Ford were used on Bloody Sunday. Forensic evidence from the origi- him to this conclusion were incon- ^eat James Street and Sackville Major General Robert Ford was nal inquiry concluded that the clusive. The outcome of the tribunal

tr ^ eet, where two other army harri- then in charge of the running of the ammunition the Army claimed to be of April 1972 is now seemingly

Were es erected, also saw mass Army in Northern Ireland. Saville using on that Sunday matched the based solely on the soldiers'

o| " ence, with soldiers firing rubber has recently declassified a secret post mortems. The entry wounds on accounts of events. The British

e ts as well as releasing huge memo from Ford to Lieutenant twelve of the people shot dead Army fears the exact details of that

3rn °unts of gas into the crowd. General Harry Tuzo, his Superior in measured between 6-8mm; which march coming to light after twenty- ^ Kevin McCorry, the civil rights Ulster. He calls the rioters 'Derry would have resulted from the eight years of secrecy.

Felix 4th December 2000 News Stef Evans,

Alcohol Poisoning

STEF EVANS Pupils dilated May have vomited The season of good cheer is nearly upon May have wet themselves us, and thus here are a few words about alcoholic poisoning If you see the above Call an ambulance A large excessive amount of alcohol drunk Make sure their mouth is clear and they at one time can damage the body in can breath liste National AIDS numerous ways. One thing to look at is the Keep them warm depression of the brain and another is irri- Watch them tation of the stomach. The irritation of the stomach can lead to vomiting very easily Don't leave them alone and if the brain activity is being depressed it can result in the possibility of choking, To avoid alcohol poisoning IC Health Centre especially if you are unconscious. Also as alcohol can effect many other organs more Do

damage can be caused. Drink moderately and slowly Space your drinks Drink drinks you haven't seen mixed (may; What does alcohol poisoning look like? Eat with your drinks be stronger than you thing, extra alcohol| put in) Person collapsed Don't Drink for a bet/competition Difficult/impossible to rouse Drink to excess Drink in rounds- you may ending up drink- Skin cool and clammy Drink too much of anything you are unfa- ing far more than you want to Breathing slow and noisy miliar with

Nightline

Nightline is a confidential listening and infor- Personal Tutor, College Counsellors etc, but tening you can find out more details on thel mation service provided by student volun- aims to provide a service when they are website. Email listening is a new service teers for students from all across London. unavailable or if you want to talk to someone offered by Nightline and allows you to email' Nightline as it is now in London can find its outside of where you study or live. them with you worries or requests for inforj roots here at Imperial where it was set up in mation 1971 following the suicide of a student the Nightline isn't a counselling service. It pro- previous year. Over time it expanded from vides those that ring some one to hear their The web address is www.nightline.org.uk just covering Imperial to many parts of worries and problems. What they do is listen, London and currently is associated with and then provide you with any information about 30 different institutions including you may need. They can supply you with Imperial. information on agencies and organisa- tions, which you can then contact in It is essential for those students in difficulty, you own time, or phone lines which with emotional problems or worries to have can provide advice.

someone they can talk to. To ensure that ' on %e . ™ stents the, someone is always available for students to The phone number is 020 7631 $tuaents talk to nightline operates every night during 0101 term time from 6pm to 8am. Thus when offices are shutting down and it is the normal They also have a website time for counsellors and advisors to go home from where you can find out there is some one there for you to talk to. more about Nightline and hm rb Thus it doesn't act to replace others you can how to volunteer if you wish to get involved T feor,: go and talk to such as your friends, Warden, Also if you wish to talk to them by email lis

Pulse 4th December 2000 Felix editor/aL

Editorial Staff Editor John Clifford Ve mack- i A'iih my? 'ii Th; evaning:hf*ll -,,.-h i-ihil 'h' hni'i ^ivjiiy, which is siariing to Deputy Editor....Katherine Dyer-Perry Write SOfli ;irv '.'Scy? /:";-:. : nc,4,le as an i! .!,h: vvhy I'm a bit tired. Assistant Editor Pascale Taylor Sdtonai and then I'll go home qute early by my , ,Q why am I telling you this? It's not just to Standards If you've been leading these things explain why I'm tired, hungry and broke. I just N ews Va ca n t regular! ' ii kaow ' ' hi . hi; i< I uo nifty think it's symbolic of the fact that there are fun- Arts Andrew Wheeler iiht round about 11 pm. and then Wednesday ,;) in! 11, .."i- 1,1 'i ii.ii' '."stem. I was Books Jonathan Matthews HI I1.' ; ' i' i' ' ' the --oxi. , .i; pretty good at School,-yet I have huge wathes Business Bashari Bakari Ilovvi-.-'iv, ;if>ici;,; hi' ,'.,!-./.c-Ltoly shy iaral i-'-fi' 1 I i , , i :;:).. r n' i i ,ll, ','luuld kllOW Current Affairs Nina De Roy

1 i I,I , . ' ' ,, iv;v aye i: 'i , ii bit about as a well-educated member of society, & Mariam Ghorbannejad too i i :r< < ' - i , iv, yo horne .1 Some of, my older relatives are still stunned by Film Drew Nienhuis 'and get a KFC, one of Dave's habits I seem to this ("You don't know::t.hat? But you went to Music Andy Houldsworth & it/e picked up) on the condition I do nothing Urtiv&rsity.) It's SHJilte unpleasant >eally to think Tom Bailess mom ii n i , i » ' , m his- that IVeheen in the education system for about Science Matt Kaplan |>ry, make cocoa and get in by ten tomorrc , en years now ar\d:yet I can't > many of ihe Sport lain Angus Call me i nil - ;«<] (I hi y- >u 'ho ;j:rsad|j|||fl| things you'd expect a:. Well-educated person to Editorial assistant Alisdair Wren ve really yei i;,tn i ujupenn bk-:h:Kv lately. I be ante to do. I can't even quote Shakespeare, Graphic Design. Justin van der Toorn popped H'story when I was fourteen because I i ! ,> . , t,|,, A [.',»'! , , nd up in Photography Jonas Lindsay I' - , ,, , h i , i i i I, ; h \'i.u ,|,I'". , h>>q time I kv .-.;.,! :-;ph:.i I i i.j, .hi.. ! 1 '..'V.-j - l^iriv U'i'lhl; 3 C/fTl i t- 1 'I' ' i 'I ;i: i , I , r.) Writers io-JIv I:: has ^r.Mj.y.p.;;^, -son! losming date:, of : f think ihe worst part of ft is'trfe idea that William Foster, Rik Edwards, - > " i >;,:, iught when a kfa reaches six- Matt Kaplan, Andy that one up?1 but a 'rhii teen, he or she should Houldsworth, Tom Bailess, Drew mostly mvo ved things I go from studying nine or Nienhuis, Jonathan Matthews, d dn't teally care about ten subjects to three or Mariam Ghorbannejad, ','',< ,, i' -a Empire; four. Even then, stu- Alisdair Wren, Andrew Wheeler, or Arci a .!.: ; ! h a., a dents tend to do A-lev Hamish Common, Stef Evans, id'ed in ncredibty boring els based around either Katherine Dyer-Perry

detail with no a: a ;aah science and maths or & John Clifford nse of relevance (the English and art. No lime trouble I'm having i", | ng both with Physics) So 1 dis- ; in going Photographers missed History as corr- and you wonder why Jonas, John & Gareth haahy ihalaaahh.. i ' ,i , 'I tualism is It's only lit; last few split into two rreconci Felix, The Portacabins, years that I've rea ised how i' - talves. Why do we Prince Consort Rd, ittle't'aca;, ilk w abqtil make specialists of peo- London, SW7 2BB the histoy of Europe and have rea' sed how bad ple before they're even old enough to drive? Internal tel: 58072 i , :h. h : ' ['i :. !' " :' ..a ; '3rd to Just to make sure, youthen go and do a degree External tel & fax: . 1 ' . ' i a , I i without if*, one , , i , 'hy ,'i nts are 020 7594 8072 a a, : iv bav:k I it.:, a? !,--,aa (1 aae i't even gibing tpjiojoff andsclo anything remotely con- E-mail: [email protected] real'sed Yugoslavia was on the other side of the ' 'i - i ! I ly sub "on Curtain). The history of the Russian i - i 1

ni|, a , ) .. aia |, 'ji: EU until They seem to havethetight idea on the conti- Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, a-ai-a- ; >, - , 'h mpires. AH nent. The Bacealaureate, I think it's called, is 16 - 16a Baldwins Gardens, these things I. saw on the news as a kid make a done: 16-18 and includes aspects of language London EC1N 7RJ lot m or? ,, ?ia? . '(both foreign and domestic), sciences, maths, Felix is a registered newspaper:

Anyway, Iru i; I < m\c,nii:v (as you. history,:ajl sorts. You can take options to bias it ISSN 1040 - 0711 might have guessed) I threw some money at the one way or the other, but you can't entirely Copyright © Felix 2000. lorn ri " yri ha )!. (/' lakUy, I've avoid sciences or arts. Seems to make perfect been drvi i.] Ir-,: /?; j.r-.h >i why I'm a, av ' sense to me, and more importantly to a lot of PS- We had enough for two ih'l whik ?: i h", i rh; soetfltb experts. The government are considering issues this week- really sorry if we have mi h;a: rrr il h,, .! - a/? , h changes; but don't hold your breath. Time to couldn't fit you in. we'll try next week : /';! I kltO it I " consign'the: A-leveI:to History? Johnny

Felix 4th December 2000 News The mountain medic: Hypothermia

MATT KAPLAN Park with five friends during mid-October| Considering the fact that last week's Felix nearly two years focused on campus medical care I only think it ago. The weather appropriate that we explore the question of had been cool, but wilderness medical care here in the science sec- above freezing dur- tion. So this is the first of several articles which ing the day time and will consider what to do when the forever valiant well below freezing Dr. Weinreb and her team of talented physicians at night. On ourfjlf are not available to tackle urgent problems that fourth night in the develop when you are far away from medical back country we care facilities. unloaded our packs So you might ask, what the hell does the sci- to set up camp and Ij ence editor of Felix know about wilderness med- noticed that one icine? Well for starters let me be very clear that member of our I am NOT a doctor, I am what in America is group, Jane, started called an emergency medic (I think you call them acting a bit... reclu- paramedics here in Britain). Anyhow, I started sive. As I watched my training on ambulance rigs and eventually her behaviour, I grew started work placement in the triage division of more and more con- the Sacramento California emergency room. I cerned, she just did- worked with a lot of urban injuries, stabbings, n't look right. It's not automobile accidents, drug addictions, and quite that "reclusiveness" on its own is indicative of bit of good, it was then that I stepped in. a lot of gun shot injuries (silly gun legislation in some sort of medical problem, however the Before I go any further I should comment or the states). Eventually I got interested in doing presence of a behavioural change certainly is. I the different types of hypothermia. There are back country search and rescue, it seemed a lot didn't do anything at the time, and in retrospect I three major categories; mild, moderate, and more exciting to me, and I upgraded my medical should have been more vigilant, because nearly severe. Mild hypothermics tend to be a bit dis- training through several module courses to two hours later when I was heating up a kettle oriented , cool to the touch, uncoordinated, ait include wilderness medicine. I have now worked of water for some coffee I watched as Jane was usually shiver. Moderate hypothermics areverj as the medical director of the Royal Gorge helped out of her tent by her boyfriend, Mark. cold to the touch, shiver lots, often noticeafci Wilderness Medical Lodge in Lake Tahoe, Ca., She was quivering uncontrollably, having terrible mentally altered, and have terrible trouble mo»- as the medic for several river rafting expeditions difficulty manoeuvering, and slurring some of her ng around. Severe hypothermia is a critics1 on the American River (I myself am a rafting speech. I had only read about moderate emergency which needs to be dealt will guide), and as the extreme care, I'll explain this in greater detar medic on multiple later. Now there are a lot of different methods] backpacking treks of dealing with mild and moderate hypothecs in U.S. national in the wilderness, but there is a central theme| parks. GET THEM WARM! This may sound simple, bj But enough when you are out in freezing temperatures wit! about my training, no shelter around this is not always an easj lets get talking task. about neat stuff I brought Jane back inside her tent and I like environment Mark put her in a sleeping bag. I collected sorm| induced hypother- water bottles, filled them with the warm « mia, lightning from the kettle which was on the fire, and p"| strikes, drownings, pared to make what is so eloquently known as and trauma. The human burrito. I took a warm water bottle a best way to com- placed it inside the sleeping bag and wrapped' municate how to up against the bottoms of Jane's feet, wrapP*| deal with such sit- another one up in her hand, closed up the uations is also and stuck a couple of wool hats on her I sleeps. perhaps the most considered sticking her boyfriend in the s\( interesting, and bag with her, after all, we humans make ma^J this is through the lous heaters (and he was certainly hapPj telling of a few stories. Names in my stories jump in) but I decided aqainst it. I did J have been changed for purposes of privacy. hypothermia in class, but I instantly knew that because I was concerned about Jane 0 ,1 With the winter holidays just around the corner this was it. Mark placed her by the fire and the heat out of Mark and did not want to en 1 it seems appropriate to consider cold illness this encouraged her to try to warm up, it didn't work. in re^ having two hypothermics on my hands. ln J week, so lets talk hypothermia. The ambient temperature was well below freez- spect I think it would have been fine, wateri I was trekking through Yellowstone National ing and the fire was not large enough to do her a was no need to risk it since I had warmbu t th*J

Science 4th December 2000 Felix* joy disposal. I must stress this point, using of which is that other people to warm a patient can be very with dropping tem- effective, but you must be careful and use com- peratures the mon sense in making this decision. Do not ever body's systems get put yourself in a position where you end up cre- a bit fragile and ating a second patient! shaking a severe Jane warmed up within less than an hour, hypothermic around slurped up some warm broth, and ended up fin- could lead to car- |$ ishing the trip without a problem. But what if diac arrest (defi- she had been suffering from severe hypother- nitely bad). mia? What would she have looked like and how You solve severe would it have been treated? Well, if severely hypothermia by hypothermic, Jane would never have left her getting help via tent, even with Mark's assistance. She would mobile phone, not have been able to speak at all and would not radio, flares, be aware of the environment around her. She smoke, or by hiking would have been as cold as a river rock and def- to the closest med- initely boasting an unhealthy skin colour (a love- ical centre (obvi- ly bluish/purple). Her heart and breathing rate ously not a good will have slowed a lot, and if a pulse is taken she option if you are may even appear dead. several days away Scary huh? As I stated earlier, severe from such a place). In the states, someone with hypothermic patient. We like to think of severe hypothermia is a my type of medical certifi- hypothermics as panes of glass that easily shat- c r i t i c a I Severe hypothermia is cation would usually be the ter. medical II a critical medical - . firs* pe rs°n you 7 uld So that's hypothermia in a nutshell. If you find emergency f u this stuff interesting and want to learn more or end up finding, and they and it does not get emergency would likely contact a just have a few questions please feel free to fire solved in the back country. You should not move helicopter rescue group questions to Felix. Also remember all those ded- a severe hypothermic nor should you try to like Life Flight before travelling out to the icated, patient, and caring folks over in the cam- rewarm them (constructing a shelter around severe hypothermic themselves. Speed is not pus health centre, they are a resource that them is certainly advisable if possible). There the critical factor in the rescue effort so much should not be forgotten. Requests for future are a lot of reasons for this, the most important as steady and gentle management of the wiiderness medical articles are welcomed.

Sir Alexander Fleming Lecture

CELLS AND THE NATURE OF LIFE

g l<§etune Professor Sir Paul Nurse FRS Director-General, Imperial Cancer Research Fund

6 PM Tuesday 5 December 2000

Sir Alexander Fleming Building Imperial College of Science, Technology and Medicine South Kensington Campus Free admission Wine reception

Sponsored by the Department of Biology, Imperial College

Arranged by BioSoc, Imperial College Union

william. burns@ic. ac. uk

* Felix 4th December 2000 Skyscrapers and palm readers

After having successfully crossed India, Felix travel writers Jon and Liz arrive in Hong

Kong to admire the temples, of both the religious and capitalist variety

Arriving straight from India, Hong Kong's Every light from the whole city stood staggering technology was all the more before us; it was undoubtedly one of shocking. The train that sped us from the air- the highlights of our trip so far. port into the city centre was clean, deadly As we only had a few days in Hong lli. 'm silent and amazingly quick. Efficiency howev- Kong, we were up early the next day er comes at a price and it was immediately and headed for the Yuen Po St Bird evident that Hong Kong was going to be a Garden in search of cheap entertain- challenging city to see on a budget. ment. Our guide book informed us that Jet lagged we stumbled out of our hotel the Chinese have long favoured birds room in the early evening onto Nathan road as pets, a fact that was obvious when to find the streets jr m Despite the pessimists, we saw f e ^ Jon Enoch and Liz Wigg still awash with g y shoppers. People life goes On woven bam tered around the temple gates, we decided to rushed busily along " ™ boo cages that have our fortunes read. It is staggeringly hard the never-ending expanses of shops with a filled the countless stalls and shops that to miss out on something when you know the seemingly insatiable desire to spend. cram the markets streets. The birds were chances are you'll never be back. You always Everywhere we looked neon signs hung off hand fed live grasshoppers using, chopsticks feel, "if I don't do it now, I'll never get the towering buildings while the noise of traffic and if singing ability is any sign of good chance," which happens a lot while travelling hammered out a deafening beat to which health then all the birds were well looked (and always seems to cost us money). Al everyone but ourselves moved in harmony. after. The market was busy, mostly with old elderly lady, using all sorts of confusing For a while we walked a little lost within the men looking for a feathered friend to pass charts and books, deciphered the lines on our jungle of skyscrapers so in order to find our the hours with and we spent an interesting hands. bearings we decided to head to Victoria peak morning wandering the narrow lanes. She worked out that we were going to be where astonishing views across the cities A short ride away on the impressive M.R.T very lucky until we were forty three, that we harbour were promised. underground system lay the Wong Tai Sin would be retired by the age of fifty and that

We took the funicular railway up the steep temple. Wong Tai . . For ^ ^ Qf ^ looking after our livers sided hill face and like every other visitor to Sin was a Sheppard would be i Hong Kong, stood hypnotised at the bewil- who, legend has it, wallets, bring on the wise move: dering night view of the cityscape. was apprenticed to third WOfld II what a bar Developers have, rather predictably, decided an immortal and among other gain for only to build a shopping complex at the peak but things, found a cure for all illness (as you do). fifteen pounds each! the view from the rooftop out across the har- Unsurprisingly, Hong Kong's ill flock here in Feeling guilty about our extravagant spend- bour was sensational, we could see for miles. droves to pray for redemption, and as we ing, it was time to make some cut backs but H^BBM^JF^^^B^Bl^^^fW °n*prp 1-1 - the being hungry and in Hong Kong was not J smell was good start. The only cheapish places to eat ^^^^^^^^^^^^ iillil ||lll§lSllfiHfiff»^ intense, as were the noodle bars, which offer all arrays all around of weird and wonderful concoctions. Now, we ' t ... HUB worshipers don't now much Cantonese, in fact none anil offered with one of us being vegetarian, we were smouldering playing a dangerous game. Using well-honed bundles of sign language skills though, we managed to incense to avoid the pig trotter soup but we never did t h e Gods. work out whether the cup of brown liquid f| The colour placed in front of us was for drinking or f°f was almost cleaning your chopsticks with. as vivid as Once again though, it was time to pac* the smell, those rucksacks and move on and even with bright though the Union Jack was lowered for green and final time some three years ago, we had seer- red pillars a city in which, despite the pessimists, li'e making this still goes on. We found the streets still Pul' Taoist shrine sating with energy and the smell of money a haven of continuing to float through the thick, hum"! colour amid air. On the surface, Hong Kong looks3' the urban Westernised as any other major finanC grey. centre but lurking at thefoot of the skyscraP As we saw ers are the temples, noodle bars and statSJ its the rows of of the Gods that give Hong Kong its spice palm read- charm and its undying longevity; but for tl" The bright lights, as seen from Victoria Peak ers clus- sake of our wallets, bring on the third wo rid!

Travel Feature 4th December 2000 Felix Working with our elders and betters by Hamish Common 'Roderick Floud" is not a name many of you will President, Imperial College Union pulling together to press student-friendly poli- [,e familiar with. He has managed, in an elec- cy out of government, rather than let them tion more fraught and tightly contested than tic as it may sound - there is a serious possibil- watch a spectacle of infighting that ensures we

even your average student union sabbatical ity of a general election before the end of this get pushed to the bottom of the pile. election, being elected by 52 to 51 votes to the academic year, and previous joint stances have Much of this depends on the leading charac- presidency of the 'Committee of Vice had an effect on government policy and party ters among the CVCP and Russell Group. The Chancellors and Principals', the lobbying and manifestoes. new CVCP President, Roderick Floud in a support organisation for UK universities. The I don't know what the chances are of this plan recent article in the Guardian Education as CVCP (sort of the College equivalent to the working in practise. I have noticed that the part of his bid for the presidency, talked of the fv|US, except they're affiliated and we're not) is attitudes of student leaders and institutional student body in ten years' time. His comments planning to turn itself from a genteel commit- heads vary widely on policy and co-operation, are mixed blessings for students. He recognis- tee, as it was founded at the turn of the centu- and if student politics is anything to go by, es that if we want to expand education, much ry, into a more forceful lobbying organisation. occasions where they agree around a common more money has to be spent on access, but So how does this affect us? There shouldn't be theme are few and far between. Naturally, we doesn't say where it's coming from. The thing a great problem for us in higher education wish to push for commitments not to increase that is particularly annoying about differential institutions improving their lobbying force with tuition fees and to ensure that the sort of stu- fees (increased fees at higly-ranked institu- government - I have previously commented on dents that attend Imperial are not disadvan- tions such as IC) is that it's us that has to pay ed to the dire lack of government funding and this is taged by the Government's plan to increase them in order to fund a completely different ' hart something students and university adminstra- student numbers in the way it plans. set of people to study at unviersity. Professor w the tions appear to agree on. There are some peo- I ways The CVCP themselves are producing a report Floud's other ideas of obsolescent terms and t the ple who would like co-operation between stu- on higher education funding - presently in its timetables and no-one going to lectures and all ellinj dent, administrative, staff and institutional rep- provisional stages - which will form the basis of learning over the net may be far-fetched, ). a! resentative organisations, on matters of com- their submission to government, just as all the though he is also one of an increasing number jsing mon concern to them. This is something I have parties form their manifestoes for the election. of people who advocate students living at n our been advocating to the Aldwych Group (the We are hoping to influence this in favour of home and commuting to university. student unions of the top 19 research institu- students - the NUS will undoubtedly be push- The national press are interested in an to be tions that make up the Russell Group), and is ing an agenda as well: though there is more Aldwych-Russell meeting, so this is a chance at we an approach we will have taken to our Vice- hope that this year they may care as their to get our views across to wider population. If I that Chancellor equivalents last week in an President wasn't a Labour appointee and does- you have any views or any particular example livers Aldwych-Russell meeting. n't appear to be seeking a parliamentary seat about where student life may, or ought to be >e 8 We hope to set up meetings throughout the love in the next by-election. The political parties going in the next few years then tell me. There bar-| year, and to find common ground for joint gov- may be more impressed by the varying repre- is a better opportunity this year than for a long onlyi ernment lobbying. This isn't as silly or unrealis- sentative organsations in higher education time, so use it. send-1 s but irstly an update on what Rag has been doing since the last column; An overseas, come here for treatment. Specialist doctors from Great Ormond lot i Fopen meeting saw us roughly map out Rag week, giving ourselves plenty Street also go to local hospitals where they offer expert advice on a wide d ea: of hard work to do. Details cannot be revealed here but you will all find out range of children's medical problems - from heart disease to asthma. Over rray; soon enough. Suffice to say that we hope to give you a packed week of 100 different clinics are now run regularly across the country - and the num- v, we events which aim to include as many members of the college as possible, 3 and | ber is growing. Great Ormond Street Hospital is world renowned for its pio- were whilst raising lots of money for two very deserving charities. neering work. Alongside the hospital's doctors and nurses are over 200 sci- oned We also held a gathering to present the cheques from last years Rag. entists at the Institute of Child Health, the hospital's research partner. They

3d tc Cheques were given to representatives of Alone in are investigating the causes of and finding cures for a r die London and the Dyslexia Institute. The event gave iJUl.i wide range of children's illnesses. The Hospital's motto i quid us all an opportunity to reflect on the past year, "V- * is 'The Child First and Always' - and it's designed ir fo' and look forward to the rest of this years efforts. especially with children in mind. For more info visit Looking back over all that has been achieved gave us all an idea of the work their website at www.gosh.org pack. involved, and the work we still have to do to achieve our target of raising For details of forthcoming Rag events, reviews, a new competition and =ven '30,000 for charity this year. So a big well done to Martin, Farhad and all r the news of our raffle, plus Pete's highly entertaining editorial, visit the Rag web- seen involved last year for a fantastic year. site at www.icu-rag.org.uk

, l|fe Friday November 17th saw the annual BBC Children in Need appeal. Coming up this term, we have carol singing at Euston and Liverpool St pul | Whilst this was not something we were involved with, Emma Watson from Station for Alone in London, our big raffle, a few cloakrooms and more. oney 'he Ch emistry department coordinated some serious fundraising which With the end of term fast approaching it is time to look back on how far we umid should see a cheque for over ?1100 being sent to the appeal. target. Friends have been made and we have a working committee who I am S 85 And here are a few words about our other nominated charity, Great confident in saying will ensure that we more than meet our target. However, nc I Or mond St. there is still room for new ideas, help and volunteers, so if you are interested crap' Il's Britain's biggest specialist hospital for children and is dedicated to in joining us then email us at [email protected] )t'-K; treating and caring for youngsters with the most unusual, complex and rare Finally a big thank you to everyone who has helped us get this far. lt; e, conditions. r * Enough of my ramblings, have a good week Every year over 100,000 children from across the country, and sometimes Vick

9 Felix 4th December 2000 AN ACRID ATTITUDE... ments though, otherwise I'm bound entific conspiracy against religious Secular Society on some very irnpor, to get confused and I don't want evidences. In conclusion, this 'atheist tant matters that are often misun. Dear John, that. Secondly, lets not talk about a priori dismissal' meme finds safety derstood and misrepresented inaccuracies, shall we? Especially in popularity, rather than in sub- would also like to invite him, alonq Two things to sort out. not when it comes to docking stance. with anyone else who would like to (1) I am not currently, nor have I Editor's salaries -Ed The second query that might come ask us questions, to our first meet, ever been, involved in mascotry to mind would be : Does this mean ing which will be held from 4-6»

: activities. I am certainly not a "Guilds A QUESTION OF NO FAITH that the only thing that matters is dBs on Wednesday 6th 0 spokesman". (Not the impression I science, and that science can December. And finally dear Editor got, but thanks for clearing it up - Dear Editor, answer everything ? Clearly once thankyou very much for your time Ed) If you would like an official again the Secular answer is a and column space, Guilds statement (or simply want a As the acting president of the resounding no. It would be impossi- list of all the inaccuracies in your last Secular Society and the author of ble for even a hardened Scientist to Yours Sincerely, article) please get in touch with the the the Societies posters I feel derive any defensible moral system Vice-President, Sarah Bluhme, who moved to reply to Mr Yorke-Smith's by science alone I Of course emo- Nikolai Segura is responsible for all mascotry affi- letter in your last issue (1190, 27th tions matter I Where would any of ars. December). I feel that I can clarify us be without love, guilt, anger, hap- Dear Felix, (2) You did not print my letter about some points of Secular belief to Mr piness... ? Indeed it is obvious to It has come to my attention our DPF&S. I am assuming that this Yorke-Smith, and answer some of theists and atheists alike that sci- that certain people at Imperial is because you did not want to print his questions, something I could not ence isn't all that matters. And as a Collage are slightly lacking ina two letters from the same person do for the author of the previous let- matter of fact there are questions sense of humour. While I definitely (what would you do if both myself ter (Wes), whose critisism took the that science (at this moment) cannot don't want to be drawn into a and the other Mustafa Arif were to form of a rant rather than that of a answer, the big 'why' questions that Science vs. Religion argument (my write in at the same time?) and not rational argument. Mr Yorke-Smith was alluding to. own life experiences having giver because you only like printing nasty In his letter Mr Yorke-Smith asks However this does not mean that me an incredibly polarised viewol stuff about Etienne. So, to spare you whether I am promoting scientism there must be something else that the whole debate), I do think that from having to choose between let- rather than science. The Secular can answer them. Nor that these there is a bit too much sensitivity ters, I've tagged it on to the end of Society does indeed believe that the questions even have a satisfactory regarding Mr Secura's posters. this one: Scientific method, that of rational answer I I personally feel that the secular Following a state of letters from var- inquiry, is the only philosophically The question 'why are we here ?' in societies posters are light-hearted ious people publicly expressing their defensible method of finding out my opinion is a bit of a null question My belief, Wes, is that the "Born OK grievances with our Deputy facts about the Universe. Now two in the absense of a creator God. If in the first time" was a reference to the' President (Finance & Services), I questions will spring to the mind of fact there is no God, then the ques- Christian philosophy that one has tc thought I'd write in to say that I think the religious reader. The first would tion has no emotionally satisfying be "born again" within the faith to be he's doing a sterling job. From my probably be : Is this a masked a pri- answer. We can scientifically find "saved" - a little play on words, that's own experiences so far he seems to ori rejection of religion and the idea out about evolution, and the origin of all. be competent and conscientous. I of a God ? species, and the regress of the uni- When any group (i.e. not necessarily have also found him to be courteous The answer is no, the Secular verse, but in the absence of fore- religious) protests so loudly about at all times (although he is known to Society offers no objections a priori thought there is no real why . We something which is still only some- have a short temper). against the possibility of a deity. just are, its as simple as that. The one else's opinion, it tends to gi* They way I see it. Any DP(F&S) is However we maintain that should a fact that this is not as emotionally the impression that they are worried bound to upset a few people. That is deity exist the only way of objective- satisfying an answer as is given in that the masses won't choose their

1 the nature of the job. He can't just ly verifying its existence would be Genesis is by the by. However it own group if this individual says sud let everyone spend whatever they through rational inquiry, be it scien- does not lead to the conclusion that and such. Which would indicate that want, or he wouldn't be doing a tific or philosophical. What we main- life or the universe is inherantly they are worried that their own decent job as a treasurer. Keep up tain is that there is no rational evi- worthless because it lacks purpose. words aren't as persuasive or strong the good work Etienne. dence for a God, and therefore no In fact, the Secular Society values in foundation. Please note I am not reason to believe in one. What we life as much as any other, and wish- saying this is necessarily the easel es only to improve its condition on Mustafa Arif categorically are not saying is that but that it is the impression that science and rationality somehow planet earth. comes across. A bit like when some-

c No, I don't mind printing good stuff preclude the possibility of a deity. one says "ooohh, what did you t«

eI about Etienne. 2 letters in a week is Therefore we do indeed think clearly I would like to thank Mr Yorke-Smith get up to last night!", and you 9 [

6 a little greedy though, so I was about the evidence of a Palestinian for his letter, since it has allowed me really defensive and angry becaus , going to print it this week, along teacher 2000 years ago. We analyse to clarify exactly the position of the you know they're right. with all the other letters I didn't have all evidence in a rational way and room for last week. Some people come to conclusions. It is simply a The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 no011 have no patience... Can both matter of fact that we come to the - drop into the office or email [email protected]. Letters may be edited f°f Mustafas please state their depart- atheist conclusion, rather than a sci- length but not grammar or spelling.

Letters 4th December 2000 Felix Ivlaybe Neil Yorke-Smith and Wes area taken up by the (very cramped) appoint a cycling officer. This would Lectures organised in the coming jo see the irony in taking a stab at cycle parks approaches 750 square provide a focus for cyclists and weeks by the Biochemistry Society. fj[r. Segura for voicing his opinions meters; this would take up a signifi- reduce the apathy which Hamish The first lecture takes place on

0n life's questions, but then doing cant chunk of Dalby Ct. Presumably referred to. I would guess that the Thursday 7th December and is pre- the same thing themselves. So I this would make a central cycle stor- cycling population of the South sented by the world famous scientist por- would like to reiterate that I am not age facility impractical as well as Kensington campus will approach Professor Lord Robert Winston. 3ur. questioning whether an individuals undesirable. 10% in the summer months (if there The lecture entitled 'Ethics in 'd. II beliefs are correct. Some of my So if anything is done to improve the are 400 cycles parked on campus on Science' asks whether scientists lone friends, for example, seem to think cycle parking facilities, I would argue a November lunchtime, then includ- should be held accountable for the e to that Star Trek is brilliant, when it is that it should be mirrored at a num- ing bikes hidden away in peoples science they create. Science is no eet- quite clearly not. ber of locations around the campus. offices, cyclists not on campus and longer simply about harmless curios- 6 ir Surely the least we can hope for is the increased use of cycles in sum- ity. As science impacts the whole of of Regards, some well-spaced Sheffield racks mer, this number should rise consid- society who should decide the moral iter with a CCTV camera trained on erably). standpoint in controversial issues :irre Alec Thomas (Physics III) them. Surely 700 or so cyclists deserve such as prenatal genetic screening? What about something better? I some form of recognition. For This lecture is to be held on CYCLE III suspect that because the existing example it would be nice for some- Thursday 7th December at 6.30pm in the BMS Lecture Theatre 2. Dear Felix, cycle parking is located in awkward one to organise discounted bike Admission is free with refreshments read with interest the recent pieces nooks and crannies that it would be maintenance schemes or to repre- afterwards. Arrive early to ensure in your magazine covering cycle difficult to implement lockers or sent the interests of cyclists to the entry. The second high profile lec- theft build secure compounds at the exist- Royal Parks or to the London ture lined up this term is presented and bike parking. ing locations. I would think that if Borough of Kensington and by Dr Chris Evans, widely regarded ition I just took a quick stroll in order to college are serious about improving Chelsea. as one of the most successful :ria assess the number of cyclists on the cycle parking facilities, they might Finally, I agree with Hamish that biotechnology entrepreneurs in the in a South Ken. campus. I counted need to allocate some better space there is nothing particularly difficult UK, his lecture is entitled 'Biotech: iterj around 400 cycles locked outside; to cycle parking. Perhaps college in achieving improved cycle parking the coming revolution'. This lecture :o E the majority of these could be found should carry out a proper feasibility if the political will is there and would is on Tuesday 12th December at (my within 10 or so 'designated locations' study examining the requirements urge Hamish to ensure that some- 6.30pm and is probably in the Read iver, | spread around the site. These cycle for cycle parking and the options thing does happen. Lecture Theatre. Admission is free A/ of parks were all in heavy use (80% full, available. This might include a sur- and refreshments will be provided thai say) except for the very large site vey of how people get to college. I Yours, after the lecture. Both lectures have ivity | outside electrical engineering which suspect this would reveal that more Tim Grainger a limited capacity and are likely to was about 60% empty. Since this people cycle than drive which would THE BIOCHEMISTRY be highly popular. Please arrive ular empty cycle park is very close to help to justify their expenditure and BETWEEN US early to avoid disappointment. ted Dalby Ct. it suggests that a large loss of any car parking spaces. Dear all, Thank you, i OK | new bike shed here would not be Besides improving parking facilities Andrew Parker, j the ideally placed. maybe college could be persuaded I wish to inform the students from all is tcj to subjects about the exciting Guest Biochemistry Society President o be Besides, I would think that the total nat's origin of various components of these culinary prepare for a night on the beers with a baguette JUST PLAIN INSANE masterpieces. There seemed to be no limits to or a jacket potato? .arily MARTIN O'REILLY STEVEN DOUGHTY what qualified to become the basis for a Union Well some of us have decided that the time has oout Curry. Peas, carrots, lamb, mushrooms, potatoes, come to take action. We have launched an online >me-' DAN CLARKE turkey, baby sweetcorn (and something that we petition at www.icu-curries.com, demanding the give Do you remember the Union Curry? For those of are fairly sure was parsnip (you're not even close return of the Union Curry. Our hope is that with Tied you who Have only joined us this year, allow me to -Ed) ) ail made it into the mix. enough signatures, union catering will reverse the' describe to you this strange beast. their decision and bring it back. Why should you such Part rice, part spice and part miscellaneous meat sign it?. Because you too want to see the return thai or veg, the Union Curry has been a staple food- of the glorious Union Curry of course! But we owr stuff for generations of IC students. Nutritious also have an added incentive... rone I and occasionally delicious, the Union Curry pro- not' vided the IC student with their daily dosage of They weren't haute cuisine, but they were ours Win beer. There, I said it ase. I carbohydrates, proteins, fat and baby sweetcorn and we liked them. And union catering has cut us After hearing of our plight, the nice folks at Cobra thai Specially baby sweetcorn). off cold turkey. Citing financial constraints (the Beer have offered to supply not a bottle, not a >me- Every lunch and dinnertime, there was a choice Union Curry was a loss making venture apparent- crate, but an entire YEARS SUPPLY of Cobra tv* between the visually attractive vegetable curry or ly, but what could be cheaper to produce than a Beer to the IC student who comes up with the f'\ ,ne clearly labelled but otherwise unidentifiable curry?), they have killed the curry and replaced it most original and compelling argument to bring ^eat curry. They were cheap and cheerful and with daily specials. I am all for choice, but what back the Union Curry. So don't delay, register n|ce in their own special way, and never failed to about those of us who want to choose curry? your vote today at www.icu-curries.com - and sPark off a conversation speculating on the exact More to the point, how's a student supposed to don't forget to tell your friends. CO'I Got something to rant about? Send it to [email protected]. Rants must be a maximum of 700 words and are printed at the Editor's discretion.

Felix 27th November 2000 Letters RY

PUT IT THERE

Monday 4.12.2000 Thursday 7.12.2OO0

4-6pm IFTAR-free food: brothers in JCR / sisters 1pm Southside (Upper Lounge) Motorbike Club in Prayer room (every weeknight) 5:45 Wilson House Rec Centre Contact [email protected] Self Defence Class 6pm ICU Debating Society's first debate; BEGINNERS WELCOME "This House Believes that Britain is 6:20 Civ Eng: Christian Union Dead", Chem. Eng., Lecture Theatre 5-11 pm Cocktail night - DaVinci's DaVinci's: Alternative Music Society 5pm 6:45-8:45pm Wilson House Rec Centre 6.30 pm RAG meeting Southside Aiuchi Jiu Jitsu BEGINNERS WELCOME Tuesday 5.12.2000 8:1511ish Community Action Group Soup Run: Weeks Hall Kitchen No commitment, just turn up 12-2pm Union Gym: Fencing Gliding Meeting (Beginners Welcome) Room 252 6pm "CHAOS AND THE TRANSFORMA Aeronautics (Roderic Hill Building) -Visit our new web site TION OF BUSINESS" at http://su.ic.ac.uk/gliding for more information. By Dominic Fielden, from Breakthrough The Imperial College Biochemistry Society Presents Technologies Professor Lord Robert Winston on Ethics in Science. Pipard Lecture Theatre, Level 5, SAF Building Lecture Theatre 2 Sherfield Building (Environmental Society) 6pm ICU Council - everyone welcome Friday 8.12.2OO0 6-8pm Aiuchi Jiu Jitsu: Wilson House Rec Centre BEGINNERS WELCOME 1pm Southside (Upper Lounge) Photosoc 6-8pm Wine tasting society, Alexander Fleming 1-2pm Jummah prayers in Southside Gym Building (Cafe), 12-2 Union Gym (3rd floor) Fencing Everyone welcome 8pm Great Hall, IC choir presents Gloria-Rutter/ 8:15-11ish Community Action Group Soup Run: Dixit Dominus - Mandel / Messa di Gloria - Weeks Hall Kitchen Puccini No Commitment, just turn up Tckets on door 8:30 DaVinci's: Quiz Night: Win £50 Cash 8pm Southern Comfort band night & Pop Tarts Union: Be afraid. Very. £1.50 / £2 without ICU card / free with entscard Wednesday 6.12.2000 Get your diary entries in Wednesday 9pm to get your 6-8 Wilson House: Shorinji Kempo 8-1 Union: Cheesy Wotsits. event publicised for free

Diary 4th December 2000 Felix Saturday 9.12.2000

8-12pm Whiplash: alt.rock, metal, punk, in dBs

Sunday 10.12.2000

Interhall Football 2-4 UDH: Shorinji Kempo

Monday 4.12.2000

4-6pm IFTAR-free food: brothers in JCR / sisters in Prayer room (every weeknight) Contact [email protected] 5pm DaVinci's: Alternative Music Society 6.30 pm RAG meeting Southside

Tuesday 5.12.2000

12-2pm Union Gym: Fencing 6-8pm Aiuchi Jiu Jitsu: Wilson House Rec Centre BEGINNERS WELCOME 6-8pm Wine tasting society, Alexander Fleming Building (Cafe), Everyone welcome 8:15-11ish Community Action Group Soup Run: Weeks Hall Kitchen No Commitment, just turn up 8:30 Davinci's: Quiz Night: Win £50 Cash Union: Be afraid. Very.

Next issue of Felix out on Wednesday 13th December. It's a bumper Christmas special designed to last you well into next year

Felix 4th December 2000 frequency

Doves and Turin Brakes Ben Okafor

Live @ Empire Coffee With Lazarus

(Plankton) Turin Brakes have no delusions of their destiny and fate in the evil world of music, they know that there Now, there's a definite conflict not the next Travis or Coldplay. You interests in Ben Okafor's music. Q see, they lack attitude, a beautiful the one hand we have some of tti front person and most of all they just smoothest reggae you're likely aren't plain loud enough. What they hear. It might be a touch overprt do have is an abundance of charm, duced but it's still excellent chill 01 sweet acoustic melodies and the fodder for when you've been canirt ability to turn hauntingly angst when it too much. Yet on the other hant they please. Take, Mind over Money we have these absolutely appallini for example, an example of there lyrics that seem to have been writ mini folk Radiohead tendencies. A ten the night before old Ben's hai band to keep an eye on, but proba- to hand them in (come on, yoi bly best listened to on record. know what I mean) to his recoil Whereas with Doves, their electrify- label. It shouldn't matter that he's ing live show surpasses even the LP, talking utter crap, after all if the

Lost Souls, a sure contender for ith Morgan, it really is a more confident, songs that use Manic Street Preachers can maki album of the year. W family affair. Look over to drag and die out, now lift and a career of it then so can Okafor To cap the Doves best year yet, there on the drums, that's his lit- drive. Embrace, really are the Indeed, if it is the Saturday nigh: they sell out the Empire two nights tle brother, oh and on the left full package now, a very British stoners that he's catering for then' running, get the pick of the bands with a tambourine that's Uncle rock band. Ignore the fact that he's perfect: you could talk bollock "who are mostly likely" to support Morgan, and there are his sis- any half wit can sing better than about these lyrics 'til dawn. them, then turn in a blistering set of ters, in the middle, singing and Danny, just feel the atmosphere blood, sweat and guitar majesty. stealing the praise. Which is and dig those grooves. They Songs like Sea Song and Here it unfair, as the gangly, unassum- bang out all the hits, we all sing Comes, are given time and space to ing Morgan sits to the side with along and it's lovely, no alarms develop and soar. From Badly his box of tricks, guiding his and no surprises. With Embrace, Dope Smugglaz Drawn Boy's backing band to a family through his own beats you get exactly what it says on Mercury nomination in under two and pop/jazz combinations. The the tin, with no pseudo-art toss Dope Radio years, the Doves are here to enjoy glorious Miss Parker, is followed guitar wank. For every Tortoise themselves. Utilising stunning visu- with the summery shimmy of album you own, you need ( Perfecto/M ushroom) als, ranging from short pretenscious Sitting in the Sun, as the party Embrace style sing-a-long indie films to hynotic swirls, the band fully atmospheres continues, anthems to balance your life. Dope Smugglaz first album, riddled entrance the audience for the whole- onwards, but not before an They play Save Me, Hooligan, with loads of samples from the likes set. The Doves are sure to do well in interval with... One Big Family et al. As Danny of classical music to Mark Goodiefs all the end of year polls, you could Comic extrordinaire, Jonny Macnamara struts and nods, and voice, it makes it a very varied lis- do a lot worse than putting their Vegas, who is here, to be quite grows into a prince among front ten. Their idea was to make an album Lost S ou/s on your frankly, a bit crap. Only one men, everyone helps the band album that could be listened to Christmas List. other thing must be mentioned, raise the roof. The lads from many times, with many layers to fat old men really shouldn't strip Leeds prove that anyone can each song so every time you experl" in front of 6000 people, no mat- play guitar, and no matter who ence something different. To me, it ter what sum of money is you are, if you have the tunes hasn't the depth of an album such as involved. Which after that dour and some soul, it might just be Moby Play, but it has the ability to interval, on an otherwise night you playing in such venues given grow on you. With some funky gul" of celebration, brings us to the a couple of years. tar riffs splashed about big beats it headliners. Once, a poor man's Embrace will be lying low has songs that easily entertain, ^ Oasis, a band that could play for the next few months, but then it has others that just get the right tunes, but never really make sure you check them out annoyinq. Tobl hit the target. But this year has next year, they'll surprise you. A been different, the band have quality night of cabaret. matured, grown relaxed and Andy

4th December 2000 Felix v frequency

Marble Valley

Sunset Sprinkler

(Pork Recordings)

Marble Valley were formed in 1997 by Steve West, the drummer from Pavement, and this, their second album, is a quirky mix of percussion and synthesiser driven tracks that, despite sounding strange at first, grow on you very quickly. Most of the songs are good, some are bad and several are just weird but all of them are unique. If you are looking for a substitute for this year's rather bland offerings, or if you are just a pavement fan you will probably enjoy this original, if slightly strange, offering. Sunset Sprinkler is released on 4th December.

The man himself - The Judge

Capital's Clubbing at it's finest Turnmills is definitely for those who appreciate quality. Don't The Action Time The Gallery, Friday night @ Turnmills expect a floor packed with gor- geous people though. No, there Versus The World are not to many of us students he Gallery - Friday night theme so be patient. Once inside get packing the dance floor. Instead (Southern) Tat Turnmills. Famous galleries your bearings. The main room prepare yourself for a mainly male usually hold several masterpieces. hosts the big DJs, but a back and 20-something crowd, dripping In a clubbing world, The Gallery at room playing funky house and a with sweat and rattling with pills. Turnmills held three; Judge Jules, cafe can help you momentarily Kenickie are dead, long live The Drinks are expensive, but don't let Timo Maas and a memorable chill out. Action Time. One band, 3 girls dehydration strike. Pace yourself atmosphere. Described by experi- The night was to be special. Rarely and 3 boys. One aim, to pervert throughout the 10:30pm to enced clubbers as the best night do you see the likes of Timo Maas, modern music by steam rolling 7:30am session, a vodka and red out in London, true fans of hard- followed swiftly on the decks by head first as a punk rock jugger- bull will set you back a steep house^and trance would surely Judge Jules. Regularly mentioned naut. As subtle as a brick, their £7.50, while a bottle of Coke is a have to agree. Situated in the by the Judge on his radio show, whirlwind harmonies leave you cool £2.50. Also dress to impress, heart of the Clerkenwell area near the Gallery offers weekly a list full dazed and confused as they rush although the hardcore Judge fans Farringdon Tube Station, Turnmills of DJs who play there because through a full album in less than did manage to contradict this is the home of euphoric music in they want to, knowing the crowd 30 minutes. house rule, being dressed like air- London. will respond to their sets, To The Action Time, talking the port traffic police. °n arrival at 11:30pm I laughed at As I stood in the middle of the game and looking right is as As an added extra we ended the 'ne ridiculously immense queues, tightly packed floor dazed by the much as the sound. Thick eyelin- night by beating the crowds to the mainly due to the very fair £10 laser lights and surrounded by er, immaculately coiffured black DJ booth where we managed to entry. Avoid disappointment and sweaty, eccentric, screaming hair and Sex Pistol cockiness, it gain access, and meet two nice 'eave the union bar early. Most trance lovers, I soon realised that all adds to their swagger. A band geezers called Jules and Timo. 'mPortantly, The beefy bouncers the Gallery does hold the key to aiming high, pushing hard with Not bad for a night out in one of have their heads where the sun 'ultimate clubbing'. everything they have. Don't London's finest galleries. doesn't shine, so hassling them With its fluorescent and luminous expect them to stick around, but about the queue is not recom- interior, abstract wall projections the fast thrills are fun while they mended. The wait is worthwhile, and elaborate ceiling decorations, Darren Bailey last.

c Felix 4th December 2000 Frequency Singles

by Tom, Warul, Mansoor and Stephen

Saian Supa Crew Big Sur

Angela EP

(Wordplay/Source) (Arista)

Fantastic single from this French Hip- This is a bit more like it - one of the Hop collective. The soulful lyrics com- hundreds of 'next big things' flying bine superbly with SSC's trademark about at the moment, it comes skillful vocal dexterity. There's even across like Belle and Sebastian, some Latin vibes going on here. except it's not wank. Wistful guitar Angela was in the French Top 5 for pop of the type that Buffalo Tom do four weeks over the Summer, and it's so well, with the third track, Waiting great. Get this now! For You being especially good.

Lo-fidelity Allstars, supported by Space Raiders

Last Man Standing | IBarker @ Heaven

Shotgun Mouth jTrecco Bay EP aving lost two band members, including their vocalist, around (Stand Alone Recordings)) i(Clearsound) Htime of their last UK tour two years ago, you might think that the Lo-Fi Allstars have difficulty returning to the stage with the same This lot seem to have missed their presence that they used to have. However their explosive perform- Ahhh, what's that in my ears?!?!? Is it time by about 5 years - mid-90's ance on the final date of their recent UK tour blew away any doubts a bee, or a wasp?!?!? No! It's this indie pop, in a Northern you might have had about the band. The raucous, adrenalin-filled se: song! Super-fuzzy bass and distor- Uproar/Menswear style. Not any- was a statement of intent as the band made clear that they were as tion, they sound like angry teenagers, thing you haven't heard before, and loud and as energetic as they have ever been, and that "this is NOT; and aren't teenagers so adorable it all sounds a bit dated now. comeback". when they're angry...This isn't bad, Space Raiders supported, and camped it up in Village People out- probably worth seeing live. What is a fits. The two frontmen made an enthusiastic duo, who were perhapsi Shotgun Mouth? little too lively for the crowd, but all in all not a bad performance. Lo-Fi Allstars came on and showcased their "new sound" - whict seemed to have elements of Primal Scream, Death In Vegas anc Bon Jovi 1 Apollo 440 Bentley Rhythm Ace - with a good selection of their new tracks such as The All and Voodoo House. They also played old tracks such as Thank You For Loving! Charlie's Angels Battle Flag and Disco Machine Gun. This good mix of old and new] meant that the fans were kept happy whilst also being introduced tt Me I (Sony) the new material, all of which was played with the same full-on atti- tude. (Jambco) However, I found that the new material lacked some of the dark.i psychotic feel that made their last album so damn good. None of their I had heard that Bon Jovi's latest Typical Apollo 440 fare - the drum- seemed to have a distinctive sound. In a sense it felt as if they hac| album Crush was a welcome, rousing mer having a fit in the background, lost some of their identity. revisit to their pop-rock roots. a few guitars thrown in for good But hey, that was the past, what about now? Now, they havej However, this single from their album measure, and completely devoid of more than enough talent and musical firepower to beat the seve'j is a barely warmed-over rehash of any semblance of being good. Not shades of shoeshine out of most of the whmey-arsed bands around a'| the track Always from the album as bad as Lost In Space, but then the moment. Their eclectic mix of styles and moods means that the'l Crossroads. This is a rather simple, that's not much of an achievement. music is always fresh and exciting, and ultimately powerful. I challen9e sappy ballad. Strictly for fans only. you to go to one of their gigs and not find something that you like.

l) Frequency 4th December 2000 Felix ij screen

Urban Legends: Final Cut Black and White

Director: John Ottman rumour inspires our heroine, Amy Director: James Toback rap group (members of the Wu- Starring: Jennifer Morrison, (Jennifer Morrison), to make her Starring: Brooke Shields, Robert Tang clan). Matthew Davis and Eva Mendes thesis film a psychological thriller Downey Jr. and Ben Stiller about a serial killer who kills his What stops this from being a total he sequel to the year before victims in the style of urban leg- t first thought, Black and disaster is the cast - unusual, cer- Tlast's story about a campus- ends. Most of the urban legends AWhite seems like a terrible tainly, but some fine performanc- based serial killer is (somewhat have quite a long run up to them - Idea for a movie. A picture star- es. Ben Stiller and Joe Pantoliano unsurprisingly) another story you know something is going to ring, amongst others, Claudia turn in some good work, and about a campus-based serial killer. happen but you're not quite sure Schiffer, NBA star Allan Houston, Downey Jnr. is very amusing. This time the campus is Alpine what. This means that half the fun selected members of the Wu-Tang What is more surprising is that the University, the elitist film school. It of the film is trying to guess which clan, and Mike Tyson all in a movie supporting cast isn't too bad - is the end of term and senior year urban legend is about to happen. about Black and White cultures Schiffer and Houston won't be students are rushing to finish their colliding in modern day New York. winning any Oscars, but their pres- thesis films before they graduate. In many ways this film is similar to ence doesn't kill the movie like Competition for the best film is all others of its genre. The main The movie is a mess - there seems other celebrity performances could made even tougher by the presti- character is a girl with 'issues' in to be very little structure to it at have done (i.e. Cindy Crawford, gious Hitchcock award; a prize her past. She works out long all. There is a weak central plot Aaliyah etc). And Tyson is just which not only gives the recipient before anyone else that everyone concerning a corrupt cop (Stiller) himself. The Idea of anyone asking a large sum of money, but also the is being murdered and that all the who bribes a basketball star to Tyson for advice on conflict resolu- chance to make films in murders are related to her. Of throw a game with unexpectedly tion is funny enough, but the scene Hollywood. A opportunity that film course, no one believes her. There tragic consequences. There does- where Downey Jnr. comes on to students would literally kill for. is some dubious male interest n't appear to have been any script him is hilarious. This actually adds quite a nice Trevor (Matthew Davies) that you for this movie - it bounces from twist- a sort of 'is it part of the are not quite sure if she should scene to scene without any obvi- Black and White is an acquired fllr" or part of the film in the film' - trust and despite the fact that she ous direction, and most of it is taste; It's interesting if nothing which distinguishes it from the knows someone is trying to kill her clearly hugely improvised. There is else. If you can swallow a movie first 'Urban Legend'. she runs towards the sound of a woman making a documentary that's less than the sum of it's col- screaming, on her own, completely (Shields) about white teens hang- lective parts you may find it a stim-

n fact the whole story is quite unarmed, in the dark. But lets face ing out in the ghetto pretending to ulating hour and forty minutes. If SeParate from the first. The only it, if you like teen thriller slashers be "niggaz". Her husband's you're looking for some story in character to cross over is Reese then this will be right up your alley (Downey Jnr.) homosexuality there to stimulate the grey matter, (L°retta Devine), the Campus (preferably a deserted one with seems to be obvious to everyone you'll be disappointed. security guard, a little bit tougher minimal lighting and a masked except her . There's a black gang ut still the same; and the rumour serial killer hiding in the shadows). who just seem to spend their (Black and White is in cinemas of an Urban Legend killer at 'some entire time shagging up in a pent- now). University up the coast'. This (In cinemas now). Katherine house apartment belonging to a Tom

Screen 4th December 2000 Felix The Italian Job Competitions!

Director: Peter Coliinson potential. However, due to public Yes everybody, once again it is the special student rates they Starring: Michael Caine, Noel demand, such classic films are competition time and this week offer IC people.These apply Coward and Benny Hill. being shown, a year after the first our good pals at the Odeon on Monday to Friday and late night were tried. Just because of the High Street Kensington have Saturday. Producing your IC card old on, this isn't a new sheer size of the screen and steep given Screen two pairs of tickets will get you in for £4.50. Hrelease," I hear you mutter inclination at which you are posi- for Urban Legends: Final Cut. As under your breath. And indeed my tioned, watching a film in such an usual just answer this easy ques- The answers to last weeks, little observant cherubs you are environment is a totally different tion in order to merit a free night teasers were: not mistaken, for The Italian Job experience. The Italian Job is out at the cinema. Smashie and Nicey being Harryi was actually released in 1969. supremely enjoyable, those little Enfield's comic creations, Kate I However, it is the first film in the minis scooting all over the giant Which actor connects the Hudson is Goldie Hawn's daugh-i "After Dark" series appropriately screen, in what must be one of the film Gladiator and the TV ter, Lucy Liu plays Ling Woo in! named because they are shown films that defined the cool series "I, Cladius" Alley McBeal and finally Blaine I quite late at the BFI IMAX cinema Britannia image of the 1960's. Tuttle was played by Joshual in Waterloo. Come on then get your answers in Jackson in Cruel Intentions. Also, with the opening of the for a festive visit to a free film! You've probably heard enough of Wellcome Wing at the Science The High Street Kensington Usual rules for this competition my rantings about how impressive Museum, IC students can see fea- Odeon is located just on the cor- apply, answers to film.felix by the IMAX cinema in Waterloo is. It tures previously reviewed in Felix ner of Earls Court Road and High noon on Wednesday, winners are is encased in an odd cylindrical for the measily sum of £5.95 Street Kensington. Remember, drawn from my fat hat. shaped building, interestingly posi- (remember actual entry is free) at tioned in the middle of a round- the IMAX now residing there. about, which jumps out at you However, the "After Dark" series Meet The Parents 6th December, so quick entries | (i after you keep following the South is only shown at the BFI IMAX, and are vital. The deadline will be noon, o Bank signs out of the underground. be warned, it sells out very quickly Now here is a competition to get on Tuesday, winners will be ^ However, once you've negotiated indeed. The "After Dark" series is the pulse racing. Screen has ten promptly emailed. The screening I the subways and hand over your shown only on the last weekend of pairs of tickets to go and see a starts at 6.30pm at a West End I E good money, you are submerged in the month. All of the next films are preview screening of the new cinema. ' an media experience that only the all heartily recommended. Robert De Niro film Meet The ' b best cinema in Britain can give Parents. This comedy has been a Just answer this dead easy ques- | F you. Titanic - 29th, 30th Dec. huge success in the States hitting tion to try and win: LA Confidential - 26th, 27th Jan. the number one position in the I (i Usually such films as The Italian GoodFellas - 23th, 24th Feb. charts and basking in fantastic In which recent movie also o

Job are not usually shown because s Pulp Fiction - 30th, 31st March reviews. starring Robert De Niro wa I g they are not IMAX, and hence do Billy Crystal married to 3 s not show off the cinema's true Drew The showing will be on Tuesday Friend? 5

Felix 4th December 2000 Screen ft books

An Englishman in New York Editorial

I For those who do read the book reviews at my pop up map (I so love playing the bit hit and miss. Some branches are excellent j§u have probably spotted that there aren't tourist). with a wide range but some (especially the so any this week. The simple reason for this is Sunday morning I got up early and pro- called "largest book shop on earth" on 5th that I've decided to take a break from London ceeded downtown to South Ferry. From there avenue) could be selling socks for the amount and come to the relative peace and quiet I took the free ferry to Staten Island which of interest it generates for book fans which is New York City. gives an excellent view of the Statue of (Waterstones on Piccadilly, I hope your lis- Having never been abroad before it was Liberty on the outward journey and of the NY tening the same goes for you!). Specialists quite an experience on the British Airways skyline on the way back. As it was misty and and second-hand places are everywhere but I flight to JFK, the food was edible and only raining the sight of Lady Liberty was one I'll do want to mention one, "Mysterious once or twice did I imagine us plummeting never forget, no wonder this symbol is such a Bookshop" on 56th street has everything for mo the Atlantic Ocean. One small point, if source of comfort and hope to so many in the thriller and crime fiction fan (i.e. me), the you're on an airplane which crashes what use this country. member of staff was so pleasant I wanted to is a little whistle and torch (unless you hap- That evening Forbidden Broadway was take her home with me. pen to crash into a disco or club I guess). excellent. For those who don't know, FB is a New York is very expensive. The shows on After a 7 hour humourous look at the muscicals and shows Broadway are almost double what you would flight, my first ThiS iS SO like television, bY parodying the music pay in the West-End, junk food and restau- rants are unbelievable priced but electrical moments on II they carry guns! and stars. The American soil H service and food goods are very cheap, A word of warning, all were spent going through customs, waiting in the theatre prices in New York are without tax (8.5%) so half an hour for my luggage (the excuse being (the Ellen Stardust) was superb, my bill only be careful, the price on the label is not the that the cargo doors would not open due to came to just over $1 1 but I gave $15 (I never price your'l! be paying. the cold weather) and staring at the airport know what to tip and I'm such a sucker for a Be careful of the toilets especially the police-officers thinking "this is so like televi- dashing and charming waiter). flushes they are very powerful, I only mention sion, they really carry Guns!" Before coming to New York, some people this because I lost a very nice silver pen in After a quick bus ride (the time by now was told me that the people in shops and restau- Borders and before I realised it had fell out of approaching midnight) I had my first experi- rants were rude and unfriendly. I have found my pocket it was probably being sucked into ence of the NY subway. First point, I was this to be untrue . What I have witnessed is the Brooklyn river. scared, it was late and I was travelling that if you say "Thank-you" the common In my eyes NY is a great city, but for me through Brooklyn. Secondly, it makes the response is a Once yOUVe Seen ten London has the edge London Underground look like Virgin's First smile and "Your II „l„. .'. m London has more skyscrapers you ve class train carriages. The NY subway is dis- welcome". seen them all J m history (which is gusting, the stations look like level one of Showing, that if your pleas reflected in our Huxley and the trains (which do run through ant to them they are cordial buildings and parks) and the night) are very infrequent. The price is back. New York tries to compensate with sky- fair though, $1.50 for any journey regardless The usual tourist things have followed: The scrapes and impressive constructions; for of where it's to. World Trade Center (which holds probably some it works but for me once you've seen 10 After a good-nights sleep in the hostel the best Borders there is, oh and two big skyscrapes you've seen them all (I won't be (saving money to spend on shopping) on top skyscrapes), Wall Street (no big deal, a applying for my green card yet, the chances °f a bunk bed (that was an experience and a rather inferior Bank Of are I wouldn't get it anyway). New York half) it was time to do New York. England/Threadneedle St), Rockerfeller (especially around the theatre district and up First things first, I went to Times Square- Center (I have found that I can't skate and to central park south) is like the area around Sroadway (a sight which during the day is my ass will be hurting for weeks), Macys and Tottenham Court Rd and Centre Point, very lmpressive but is spectacular at night) and Bloomingdales (Macys is the largest shop in nice in some areas but it has a slight dirty b°oked a show (well three to be precise), the world but I thought it looked like a large luck and too much neon lighting can be rather forbidden Broadway on Sunday evening, branch of Debenhams, men will hate it, tacky. phantom on Monday and Jekyll and Hyde women (because of the perfum and smelly I have to get going now. I have a red Starring David Hasselhoff, you know the one stuff) will love it). Yankees baseball hat to find and I have to °ut of Bay-watch, the one without the large A bit about books. New york does indeed think up a way of bringing about 40 to 50 9'ands) on Tuesday. Most of Saturday was have a number of very impressive books books back with me. I will return next week sPent walking (so much more of an eye-open- shops and smaller specialist ones. Barnes with more book reviews if they let me back in er than taking the subway everywhere) and Nobles is the main chain, a bit like our the country. round going "Oh, I recognise that" or looking Waterstones, and like Waterstones can be a Jonathan Matthews

Books 4th December 2000 Felix stage

Eye Contact 4-Play Riverside Studios, Hammersmith ICSM Drama Society

ye Contact had already man Philip, who also becomes rom the mouths of (freshers) was the third play. An unsuspel £ E attracted a wave of tabloid involved with the club. F come the wisdom of kings. ing couple drop round to visit the publicity - here was a chance to Contrasting with the three strong The format is simple; the new blood new neighbour - but as the coupl; m catch model, cover girl and main characters (Hugo, Anya and to the drama society performs a squabble and bicker like children .j (allegedly) near-illiterate Big Philip), some of the lesser charac- series of short plays or extracts, the neighbour begins to treaiH Breakfast presenter Kelly Brook in ters are somewhat wooden and staged annually in Gladys. them accordingly. What seems t;| G a new play dealing with the phe- are let down badly by the script There is no central theme; the be another "middle-class living nomenon of table dancing clubs. which at times throws up cliche plays are chosen entirely at the room" play rapidly becomes: Ai The production is a look into the after cliche. Kelly Brook shows discretion of individual directors, strange twilight place of choccfi ij "sexual dynamics" of this world - she can actually act and is the real making for a suitably diverse biccies, Mr Poddies and grow a and, to its credit, certainly manages star of the play, while Keir Charles evening. The audience sat around adults sticking their tongues art -i to stay a comfortable notch above puts in a good performance, candle-lit tables, drinking wine and at each other. 1 late-night Channel 5 material. slightly marred by occasional over- eating nibbles, and the atmosphere In contrast to the domesticityf K Kelly Brook plays Anya, a brassy acting but still making his charac- was relaxed and friendly. Mother Figure. April de Angelsl table dancer in "Fantasy ter likeable in its pathos. Terence The first play, an excerpt from Positive Hour followed fouH International", a London table- Booth is also fabulous as the con- Michael Frayn's Copenhagen, women with their own deep-roo:1 I dancing club that is struggling to servative and staid City gent. explored the wartime relationship of ed issues, who stumble throuo/8 pull in the punters. Meanwhile, There is some nudity (all four of Heisenberg and Bohr, two physicists life in a messy kmda way. Oh, a* B Hugo (Keir Charles) is a hedonis- the girls have a brief turn at the from opposing sides, discussing the who swear a lot as well. The viva I tic, high-flying City banker who is pole, with Kelly Brook at the cli- possibilities of an atomic bomb... this cious Positive Hour served well to besotted with Anya, and is besot- max), but it is brief and certainly complex piece with its mixed mes- round off the evening's eventsjH ted to the extent that he repeat- not tacky or gratuitous. Then sages was strongly acted, and and the evening ended to rapWj I edly tries to move their relation- again, this isn't exactly intellectual served as a stimulating introduction ous applause. ship to the world outside the club fodder, remaining a glamour show to the evening. The grand result was a divers'|| - Anya however is having none of at heart. So go see. (But is it art? Crazy.For You was not a Gershwin array of plays from an all-new cas The it and the play is an exploration of Arts Ed). musical, but an excellent concept of enthusiastic, able actors the flirtatious interplay between play, in the form of a series of psy- Freshers' Plays have always rep<*l the two - will she concede, or will Sunil chiatrist and patient consultations. sented a good night out, and m Hugo have to be satisfied with a The twist here is that the patient year I am pleased to report thc dance to end his evening? comes to realise that she is in a cast continued this fine tradition- Now all of this has great potential The Knowledge: play - under the lights, with people to be supremely boring, but the nar- watching, and aware of the true Andrew Ri rative is punctuated with several passage of time... Audio represent- C( sub-plots which add to the psycho- ing the doctor's thoughts, and light- w logical tension. Subplots include The Know ing were used to great effect to 0\ the dealings of the depraved and add to the ingenious work per- rn Website: frustrated club owner, and also formed here. si http://www£U xu, Hugo's colleague, the stiff family Mother Figure by Alan Ayckbourne w

Arts 4th December 2000 Felix arts

larised by The Kinks; for Blake ure the PR image away from it was a ye olde Canterbury modern international art. But Tales pastiche of the the Blake is not good enough Mediaeval. Mr Blake's bulky to do this, and anyway, it all printing press, source of all this sits uncomfortably with the pseudo-Mediaeval malarkey, Cool Britannia of the Turner sits at the centre of the exhibi- Prize (in the adjacent gallery). tion like an instrument of tor- With the £32 million revamp of ture - and it does a good job Tate Britain continuing apace inflicting boring Blake upon the (due for completion in 2001), Tate punters. we can only hope Sir Nicholas Much of the work is religious, Serota (Director of Tate) wakes with countless, sometimes inter- up to the disastrous Blake mis- esting, even modern (the series fire currently splattering over for Dante's Inferno) prints but his gallery. Tate Britain could more often degenerating into and should do better. rather ridiculous allegory. The truth is that this exhibition would be better served outside William escribed by Alex James of Mr Blake managed for the next the Tate, in a smaller museum the band Blur as 'the origi- 70 years, until his death in D in the provinces (how about the The Knowledge: nal Soho nutcase,' William 1827, was to churn out an end- dusty but spectacular Fitz- Blake, poet, printer and author less series of insipid pictures william in Cambridge?). Since Until: 11th February 2001 of that rousing hymn from his print shop in Lambeth. much of the fine art in the Tate Jerusalem, was born just off Blur and Blake do actually have £5 concession, has been shipped to Tate Nearest tube: Pimlico Golden Square in the late something in common. They Modern, Tate Britain is now in November of 1757. The both attempt to recapture the transition and sadly bereft of American and French Revo- English past; for Blur it is the Website: purpose. The exhibiition is http://www.tate.org.uk lutions were to follow, yet all cheeky-chappy Brit style popu- clearly an attempt to reconfig-

Turner - The Great Watercolours Royal Academy of Art buildings being rendered in this, but I don't know much about minute detail, a marked contrast art, and I know what I like. to the later watercolours and oils. There are some striking larger In the second room holds paint- pieces in the third room (is the ings that are definitively Turner. strongest of the three), accompa- Atmospheric, dramatic scenes nied by some verse written by the with turbulent wild skies are artist himself. The exhibition in prevalent, impressions hinted at general is a good view of Turner's with only the barest detail. Dark watercolour work, but I find it dif- hues in some of the more disturb- ficult to recommend, because of ing storm paintings contrast the scandalous five-pound entry strongly with the calm serenity of fee for students, and because the dawn and dusk scenes. All Turner's more familiar work is far these paintings have an added better represented for free in the level of subtlety, with the water- Tate Britain. colour washes sometimes betray

the care and attention that have Tom been lavished on each piece. The series entitled Picturesque The Knowledge: To mark the 150th anniversary effort into this show, with loans Views in England and Wales is of the death of Turner, the from both UK and US collections, considered to be some of the finest R°yal Academy of Art is holding a a fitting tribute to one of their Until: 18th February 2001 British landscapes ever made, and £5 students, £7 adults commemorative exhibition of his most illustrious students. some of the larger compositions Wa Nearest tube: Green Park or tercolour works. There are Initially, the exhibition seems like are very impressive - these con- 0ve Picadilly Circus r a hundred pieces here from any other, with the first room trast with some pieces that would- Minute sketches to large commis- being mainly his early sketches. n't look out of place on a chocolate Sl°ns, chronicling his entire life's His early work shows a keen Website: Wor box. I'm sure distinguished art crit- k. The RA has put particular architectural awareness, with the ics will be crying out after reading http://wv,w.royalacademy. org.uk

Felix 4th December 2000 Arts A L : 8 0 J Y DM; Phoenix 2001: an arts odyssey...

CIENCE IS NOT ENOUGH AND PHOENIX IS THE SOLUTION. Submitting entries couldn't be simpler, either via e-mail (for poertij Phoenix is the annual arts magazine of Imperial College. It's a collec- and stories) or in person (for drawings and pictures to be scanned; Stion of original artwork, verse and fiction by students. In short, Phoenix Phoenix is based in the Felix office, those unmistakable portacabirp offers an outlet for your repressed creative talents! Besides, it provides enter- behind the liquid nitrogen tank at the back of the Physics depart tainment and welcome relief from science, technology and medicine. ment. Phoenix is special because it represents over a century of college The preliminary deadline for submissions is set for the beginning $ tradition. The arts annual is the oldest publication at IC, founded once next term (Wednesday 10th January), so there's still plenty of time to upon a time by the celebrated alumnus H.G. Wells. So this is your be creative during the holidays. If all goes according to schedule, tha opportunity to be a part that distinguished history. Phoenix should hopefully be printed around Easter. The magazine wi| Over the years, Phoenix has been produced in a variety of formats by be distributed across campus and available for free. successive elected editors. The incredible range of styles is a definite Phoenix 2001 needs: POETRY, PROSE, DRAWINGS, SHORT SToj bonus - as the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. There is purpose- RIES, ARTY PHOTOGRAPHS and of course a FRONT COVER! If you're fully no specific theme to Phoenix 2001, so your piece can be on what- interested in contributing to the 2001 issue of Phoenix, then contaa ever subject inspires you the most. Just let your imagination run wild. the editor Helena as soon as possible at [email protected] Mountaineering Club - left dangling?

n reflection, it was probably a bit optimistic. A late November Sunday seemed even less promising than Saturday had. We drovetj weekend in the Peak District (not exactly known for its arid the world-renowned Grindleford Cafe (that's pronounced "caff", withoul Odesert climate) after the wettest Autumn in centuries was the acute accent, which is for poncey southerners) for a big, greas) unlikely to offer much in the way of perfect gritstone conditions. If dry breakfast. It had just about stopped raining by the time we reached grit is the nicest thing in the world, then wet grit is definitely up for the Froggat, our crag of choice for the day. Although the classic slabs lookel worst. decidedly wet and unpleasant (which ruled them out, since decent fricj Still, that didn't deter us. After a reasonably pleasant minibus journey tion is the only thing between you and Sheffield casualty on these, we arrived in Hathersage Village Hall before midnight, and crashed out in routes), there were a couple of dry routes to lead and top-rope. We man- its relative luxury (relative to a tent on a windswept hillside, anyway). aged to get a reasonable amount done in the end: couple of nice leads Saturday looked worryingly grey, but since it wasn't actually raining easy soloing and bouldering, and toproping for our less experienced! we made it out of bed reasonably early and headed down to Hathersage members. Not an ideal day, but better than sitting in London in the rain. Bakery, the focal point of any Peaks trip due to its impressive fried Want to get involved in the frightening but fun world of extreme breakfast 'monsters'. It was closed. Bugger. This was definitely a bad rock? Contact [email protected] omen. We were forced to slum it and cook our own breakfast (which, incidentally, was really rather nice). We drove up to Stannage Edge, and considered the state of the rock. It was certainly damp, and the low cloud suggested that it wasn't going to get any drier, but it was just about climbable. The cold wind failed to deter one of our number from attempting to look like a proper climber by stripping down to shorts and a vest (Fellwanderers brave? Yeah, right) and soloing up a descent route. A couple of people started to lead some easy routes, without a great deal of enthusiasm, but when it started to rain we decided to give up and go back. Since most of the afternoon was available to us, we went shopping for gear (the aforementioned fashion freak spent £50 on a pair of trousers), debated the possibilities of finding a dry crag (slim) and decid- ed to go to a wall in Sheffield. The Foundry turned out to be a great place, and at £2 to boulder it made the London walls look decidedly pricey. Three hours later, pumped, we retired to our hall for a bite to eat before sampling the wares at the local hostelry. Then came back to the hut and started drinking seriously. Some fool discovered the wide range of costumes stored in the Hall, and our glorious leader was wearing a dress within minutes (once he'd figured out how to get it on). We have photos, Simon: do you want your mum to see them? On the vague idea that it might be nice tomorrow and we would want to get up early and climb, we crashed out at around three. "Ropes? Ropes are for wimps."

j Clubs & Societies Felix 4th December 2000 Imperial College ! V! ! i < lt\( H CM \ \M< M. I*K IN!

Launch Party

Thursday, 7th December 2000

Foyer of The Mechanical Engineering Building and Lecture Theatre 220

"How to turn an idea into a business idea"

A short presentation by Professor Sue Birley, Director of BAe Systems, a former Director of NatWest Group, and a leading authority on 'Entrepreneurship'

6pm Formal Launch 6.30pm Networking, drinks & nibbles

Attendees include: Employees from Credit Suisse Asset Management, McKinsey, Dresdner Kleinwort Benson and a number of venture capitalists, aca- demics and entrepreneurs. These individuals will be available for networking after the presentation.

Numbers are strictly limited, so register your interest today at: [email protected]

[The Entrepreneurs' Challenge is run by the Imperial College Entrepreneurship Centre. All ideas and entries will be held in the strictest confidence].

WHAT ROCKS YOUR BOX?

also starring ~' : $p — w m w T\ / a tribute t.o Robbie Williams W \J mi M and a tributtribi e to m l| "" '\ CBftiSMUS CtUNiYAL Tom «Jone s i f riday dec 15th 9-2 an%V?~%d introducin g " ™ W« £7 / £6 with entscard THEE 1WOMBL E EiisemMPf m *± Ma Soundtrack Soundtrack by the fabulous JE W varwasn p©POPp TARTi S

Felix 4th December 2000 Advertisements The Felix Crossword 1191, by Wailer Ned.

Across: 29. There's no mistake - I've 1. Fruit is unable to see not got as much next to while going out with the queen or king. (9) stranger. (5, 4) 6. A stroke of a brush will Down: produce a plant! (5) 1. Big floppy balloon. (5) 9. Appoint radarman to 2. International and back- unwrap prelude. (7) ward swamp will do for 10. Take off door to make a the meantime. (7) bit crazy... (7) 3. Conversation sounds 11. Sorry? I'm going to let like terrible wood. (8) you off! (6) 4. A girl, sadly. (4) 12. Guess ties badly to 5. I near confusion about friend. (8) search for Princess 14. Don't know the words to Anne, perhaps. (10) sodomy? Deception! 6. Imperial crap builds (10) boat. (6) 15. Church of England's 7. Hurry, Winton, plot! (7) transport operator is 8. Carniverous guard? (9) from Scotland? (4) 13 "Save Greg" is badly 17. Seaweed, I hear, has lit- provocative. (10) tle nourishment. (4) 14 Fondle pole to steer. (9) 19. Ultra-grain is pointy 16. Shaker messed goa when ground up. (1 0) trait. (8) 22. I'm tired and don't know 18 Brought up crude fra- Answers to 1190: what to buy! (8) grant liquid. (4, 3) Across: Blow By Blow, Helmet, Tobacco, Ruffle, Olive, Tigers, Slalom, 23. "Zap!" Stand still! (6) 20. Mesh tall Noel up with Gigolos, Vapors, Molest, Polka, I'm Evil, Allures, Cherry, Strawberry. 26. Bad rich nob has air- tea on the rocks. (7) Down: Loculi, Wattle, Yobbos, Whores, Streamiest, Fellate, Immoral, ways. (7) 21 I'm no hooker... a chop- Twelve Inch, Grapple, Roger, Lesbo, Splays, Marrow, Lassie, Sucker. 27. Indian tribe drinks tea per perhaps? (6) and understands instinc- 24. Makes spell to find tively. (7) actors. (5) IC Alumni in the Silicon Valley 28. King on the straight and 25 Sounds like you shed a Driving the Technology Revolution! narrow. (5) level. (4) Well, just a little bit from me today, 'cos I seem to have been seriously usurped by Wailer. Anyway, I will tell you that Chris The Imperial College Alumni Association of North- Toffis has won this week, and he is the lucky winner of (and this is what comes if you go shopping with the DPE&W) a ern California is a lively group with roots in science pair of rubber hand-cuffs, a book by Lily Savage, and a CD and technology: employees from established and of 'It's Raining Men' sung by RuPaul, and one of the original new technology companies, world experts in their Weather Girls (whose name I forget). So yes, it's your own fault for being so clever, and knowing too much sex-stuff. I field and professionals who have succeeded out- know your friends will laugh. Turnip. side the realm of technology. Our chapter Hello, it's Ned again. I trust you're not too corrupted. If you don't understand why any of last week's answers have Maintains an active social agenda sexual connotations, I'd suggest you don't ask: Those who Organizes interesting presentations from industry did regretted it. " This week's crossword has no theme, don't be deceived leaders by any of the clues. The prize this week is a surprise - I'"1 Promotes fun networking activities and workshops sure it will be a pleasant surprise, but there's so much mys- tery involved even I don't know what it is. It might be 3 Keeps ties with the College and other alumni Womble outfit for the end-of-term Cult TV carnival - read our If you're planning a trip to the San Francisco Bay next week to find out! In any case, please do submit y completed grids, as it gives all of us compilers a warm fuzzy Area, please get in touch. feeling to know that somebody does them (apart from the people who yell out the answers in the Maths common-roon1 every Monday...). Despite Turnip's protestations about writ' You can get more details from our Web Site: ing last week's, he enjoys it really, so I'm sure we'll be heat' ing from him soon. However, a little birdie tells me that we http://www.ic-ca.org may have the privilege of one of the new compilers to assisj us with next week's - the last crossword before Christmas In the meantime, however, enjoy. Ned.

I) Crossword 4th December 2000 Felix IjlUtiU,)l/Ur by Guru Gingagal RT5

Capricorn C- Leo Yachting 22nd December-20th January 22nd July-23rd August

Anyone passing Scuthside in the early rrornings of the 25th jde discovery of your secret inheritance Rumours and intrigue surround you this and 26th of November would have been surprised to find an fthe tropical island is slightly tarnished week, perhaps it is a lesson to be more 0 intrepid bunch of IC yacht club merbers waiting in the oold.

|t)is week, when you discover that it is to discrete about the duvet with hairy feet Two day-trips to the Solait - or at least Portsmouth Harbour he co-owned by your nemesis. ..tarquin.... seen escaping from your room.... had been organised. Undeterred by minor factors such as wind and rain, we piled into the ninibus that would transport us to cur destination - Gosport on Ebrtsrrcuth harbour. After arriving at 9:00am, there followed a quick meeting aboard one of the two Sigma 33s, called Zennor V and Scorcher, Scorpio which would be our boats for the duration.. The skippers wisely decided, based an the gale warnings on the radio and 21st April-21 st May 24th October-22nd November the deafening whistling of the rigging of the surrounding beats, that we would not venture outside Bortsmouth After a miserable time lately comes good Noticing that you appear a little swollen tferbour. fortune this week...so take heart...yours this week, prompts a visit to the doctors, We divided into two groups of six and proceeded to dan our not anyone else's.... and a good thing too.... waterproofs. Each skipper then explained the safety risks and cperaticn of the bewildering array of ropes and cleats to the uninitiated and we cast off. Satcurday' s trip had vaitured to Bort Solent - in the rain, but Sunday saw the appearance of the sun. We used a mixture of sail and motor to reach Aries Fareham and after some anxious moments with high-tension :: Libra electricity cables, it was lunchtiire. We rroored and ate an 21st March-20th April 24th September-23rd October the beats. Gourmet sandwiches (!) , acccrrpanied by fine wine (I) were readily consumed. Then, with a slight break in It is important to say what is on your Plotting to capture 101 dalmations this the weather after lunch, we cast off and hoisted the prcver - mind this week...brain fluid...it'll confuse week will not bring you the warm feeling * trial mainsail. Coasting along at a speed of seven knots, the wind in cur faces and the sun at cur backs, it was easy to your enemies... of comfort that you expected, it was! understand why we had all left our cosy beds at 6am that never going to work... I itDming! We returned to the rrarina, moored the boats and, after having to undo it all again to go in search of diesel we Pisces cleaned up and returned to the murLbus. We returned to V.rgo London a contented bunch after an exhilarating dose of sea air and sailing, with the novices among us vo«ing to be back 20th February-20th March 24th August-23rd September far mare. This is the first time the Yacht Club had experimaited with A friend will persuade you to carry their I know and you know, and we both know cne-day taster sails, which have worked cut being a very dark secret this week, but it will prove to it wasn't very nice, it'll be a dissappoint- cheap way of trying the sport; similar days will prrbably be be a too heavy burden for you to ed flatmate opening those IN' doors of the run next term. If ycu would like to join the mailing list and be carry..stupid big hefty solid metal advent calender from the 21st to the informed of forthecming trips or have any queries about the Yacht Club email [email protected]. secret.... 15th...

Gemini JV"7 Sagittarius 22nd May-21 st June 23rd November-21 st December Rifle and Pistol This week you fear one of your flatmates Building your own tomb/rather flashy 's slowly trying to poison you...but it pyramid maybe is wise...however it is a IC 1454 - 1458 Kings would be a bit insulting to accuse if you bit morbid... On Wednesday 22nd November, IC Rifle and Pistol Club w ere wrong.... hosted King's College for a friendly rifle match in the Projectile Hall. Each College fielded a team of 8 shooters, with half of Imperial's team being composed of new shooters competing in their first match. All the new shooters from both : Cancer Aquarius teams performed creditably, with IC's Daniel Schneider shooting very well, acheiving 188 (out of 200). Imperial's four 22nd June-21st July 21 st January-19th February experienced shooters all did well, including Ben Chowdhary, Guy Dewhirst and Philip Golds. The overall result was a win is a week for special Christmas shop- This week brings crushing dissappomt- to Imperial, the scores being; Imperial ; 1464 - King's : 1458. 9- special specific shopping for you IN' ment when you get the first two lottery Afterwards much fun was had by all, as everyone went over to Southside Bar for some post-match eating and drinking. numbers, divide all your worldly goods between your friends, and then fail to get anymore....

^) Sport 4th December 2000 Felix FELIX

SECTION

Rugby JkALTRArj IC Rugby supported by

second half win to IC. ICII112-51 Reading II possessed, "limited" the half time and led to Rich Seppings bombing score to 46 - 0. over in the corner to open our SPECIAL OFFER FOR ]J account. The togamen rallied WEEK ONLY! E. It has been said that Rugby is Some subtle half time alter- resulting with their number nine [email protected] k, a game of two halves. And so it ations to the line up turned the sneaking over with a little help complimentary pint of yourp proved to be. The men in togas second half into more of a contest. from the "Windmill" at no.8. ferred beverage. started scoring early and IC heads IC had the lion share of possession Oh... and this the Dui% began to drop. and territory through some for- IC were not finished stamped- Trophy for excellence went to a- However we fought back, lib- ward driving from Will Green ing straight back into opposition A Dunbar. Finally, our apologies: erally spearheaded by Bob Coults despite being distracted for most territory. A quick penalty on the to Sylvia for failure to uphold- with some excellent play with the of the game by the oppositions five yard line from Dave "Boyo" fine name. boot (and no, he wasn't kicking). testicles! White saw Titsy eat his opposite Rick Roberts, playing like a man The festival rugby continued "winger" and cruise over to seal the Ladies Football and Netball

IC 1sts 24 - 37 Roehampton way, moving on swiftly. Our defence has seen We still won! happier days. And Roehampton's shooters It is a rare occasion that netball girls are were simply the best, better than all the rest, Chorus: not up for it. And it is just as rare for netball better than, no that's as far I know. No one Oh, its such a perfect day, girls to lack bounce. But this was one of was too keen to break an ankle on the super- Five goals scored in the first half, those times. By bounce, I of course mean slippery court, but heck, what's an ankle for (doo doo doo doo) energy, oomf, jumping a bit, a bit of air the sake of netball.... Maybe we should learn Just such a perfect game, between the ground and her trainers. to wear our hair in high ponytails, have We just kept on scoring more (*2) Anyway, the first quarter wasn't our best matching stripy socks, shout 'ball' really really and Roehampton got themselves a good lead. loudly (and get blown up for intimidation Just such a perfect day, The 2nd quarter our fighting spirit popped hehehe) (sounds a rather malicious tactic The referee was insane, over to say hello and they gained only 4 blowing the opposition up, it actually means But we scored more and used our brains goals. And the 3rd quarter they only got 2. blow the whistle for a penalty pass before 13-011! The last quarter the girls got psyched up to any confusion arises and the tabloids come a- fight even more, mental Jess and her grunts knocking) and we'd be sorted. Chorus: returned, Hannah's hangover was wearing That or a pint of redbull before every Oh, its such a perfect day, off. game. Magic muffins were eaten, (doo doo doo doo) The last quarter, we got 3 up on them. It Ladies cash in on more Bucks! 13-0 Just such a perfect game, was sweeeet play. All sounds grand, but we Bucks college were so beaten (*2) still lost. Our attack was looking gooood. ( A dedication to Lou Reed) Shirley is having a great season, and Rebecca and her are totally connecting in the Just a perfect day, (Instrumental) circle, in a totally non-sexual way of course, Win footie match in the park, S}! before we over excite the IC men. Then later, when it got dark, Thanks to Harp, Mel, Aysha, l Hannah didn't do as much 'shaking of her We went home... Loraine, Suze, Anne, Mona, French M^l arse' this week - something about going to Dutch Kate, Mo, Tine and the person*" Scandies the night before and having one too Just a perfect day, made the pizza and chunky chips! many diet coke methinks. Hehe, still we've all Minibus on the motorway, (Righty, we're off to kill ourselves - lain & John) been there, playing with a hangover... any- Skanky changing rooms - what the hey!

£5) Sport 4th December 2000 Felix Football - game on

off, the thirds braved the elements and the pub- ond half started as the first had. Mike and John, First Busa Point for the Firsts lic transport system to reach the blasted wastes with little defensive duties to do, went on some IC 1 - 1 LSE of Berrylands and claim the three points we blinding runs up the wing while Henry showed us deserved. some more of his cheeky play. It looked like cur- It was a gigantic day. A day when wars are More used to the semi-marsh that is tains for LSE but the ref came to their aid. In a won and lost, life cannot compare to days like Harlington, the bowling green surface that LSE rare attack the ball was crossed into our area these. Everyone knew what they had to do. IC play on came as a bit of a shock, but a shock we and the referee blew up for a penalty for no firsts needed some BUSA points. The team rose to the challenge. When the ref decided that the used to our advantage. Early doors, we were apparent reason. Dhruve had obstructed a play- game was for nonces only, by giving freekicks stroking the ball around the park with panache er he explained, this was news to Dhurve and for thinking of touching your marker, IC battled and fluidity. The LSE defense was overweight anyway, obstruction is usually an indirect free- for the game. The first half was slack, but a cou- and apparently unskilled and so the pace of Phil kick! Their striker, to be fair took it well, but we ple of extra gears were found in the second half. up front and James down the right wing had didn't and the referee's life may have been in Psycho got his first goal for 3 years - a penalty very nearly saved by the keeper. JP made a them in all sorts of trouble. As an attacking force danger. kwality debut, but couldn't stop the penalty that the economists weren't much to write home This inspired LSE and they looked danger- they had. Eniola was superb playing on the right, about, whatever made it past Paul and sturdy ous for the first time in the match but our Ali G got booked as did James. We all then had new guy Ian in midfield was not trouble at all for defense did its job well and they were shut out. a few social ales to celebrate the first BUSA our defense. At the death, "Dad" Eyers was put through one- point. They had barely ventured into our half when on-one with the keeper and got hacked to the the first goal came, lain hit the ball long down ground from behind for his trouble. No surprises Brunei 3 - 1 IC I the left for Phil to chase. One sprint and a minor - the ref waved play on but sooner or later he This was a game we expected to lose. Not scuffle later and Phil was on his own on the edge had to blow the final whistle and hand us the vic- the first line that you would expect in a match of the box and he generously decided to sguare tory. report? No! But after last times' 9 - 0 defeat, we the ball to an unmarked lain who sidefooted it in needed to show some strength. We had to prove for his first goal for IC. It was an open goal but ourselves to BUSA. Unfortunately we conceded a goal early on it's a start... but we showed no signs of weakness. Coming You may have thought that going behind back strong, Eniola, Comfort and Tony were would have kick started our opposition, but no, superb and soon after a cross from Alan found they were as lethargic as ever. Phil hit the bar as George and he scored his first goal for IC. HE Pesh began to get into the game going down the WENT MENTAL, that's how much it means. IC ! Schroders left and was on hand to finish off a controversial were superb for the rest of the half and Alan came close on a free kick. move for our second goal. James unleashed Phil Schroders is a leading international asset The second half proved eventful. They down the left again but this time he was cynical- management Group scored two goals, somehow, but an ambulance ly hacked down by the now desperate, wide-boy 90t stuck in the mud and Joule's contact lens defense. Incredibly the ref waved play on but 9ot semi-lost. Amidst it all, Oily made a come- this was to advantage as back on the right wing and we had about three goalmouth scrambles. Comfort put the ball in James squared the loose 'he back of the net but it was deemed offside. ball which Pesh turned in at Unfortunately, the score remained at 3 - 1 full stretch. and it was not our day. But bearing in mind that With the ref clearly on they rely on Vauxhall Conference players to their side, LSE galvanized boost their side- we did okay. HAIR SAI.ON their shower of a team and 7gm at least we were given some worthy opposition. Before Thirds light the blue touch the break there were Paper chances at either end but no more goals. l-Sf: IV 1 . 2 IC III Henry, "Dad" Eyers and Alex came on for Pesh, * it "7 a 2, H "J h On a day when most matches were called James and lain and the sec-

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