Gay Men and the Intentional Pursuit of HIV Thomas James Loveless University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee
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University of Wisconsin Milwaukee UWM Digital Commons Theses and Dissertations May 2013 Gay Men and the Intentional Pursuit of HIV Thomas James Loveless University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Follow this and additional works at: https://dc.uwm.edu/etd Part of the Nursing Commons Recommended Citation Loveless, Thomas James, "Gay Men and the Intentional Pursuit of HIV" (2013). Theses and Dissertations. 131. https://dc.uwm.edu/etd/131 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by UWM Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of UWM Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. GAY MEN AND THE INTENTIONAL PURSUIT OF HIV by Thomas James Loveless A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Nursing at The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee May 2013 ! i! ABSTRACT GAY MEN AND THE INTENTIONAL PURSUIT OF HIV By Thomas James Loveless The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, 2013 Under the Supervision of Dr. Patricia E. Stevens Hidden deep within the gay male underground lives a small population of gay men who imagined the intentional pursuit of HIV as a means to some end. In terms of nursing care for such marginalized pockets of gay men, most nurses are unaware of their existence or lack sufficient knowledge and compassion to care for this population. Bug chaser is a metaphor used to describe the gay men who intentionally sought the bug— HIV infection. Essential to caring for these men is first discovering them, and then understanding them. The purpose of this narrative study was to understand the life experiences of gay men who intentionally sought or seek to become infected with HIV. Using queer theory as its framework, the study was constructed from two research questions: 1) What are the life-stories of gay men who seek HIV infection? 2) How do these life-stories describe and give meaning to sexuality and HIV? In this qualitative study, 18 adult gay men were interviewed three times over a period of three months. Chain referral sampling wherein initial participants spread word of the study in their associate networks limited racial diversity; 15 men self-identified as African American, one as “other” (i.e., Italian and African American), one as Latino, and one as Caucasian. Their ages ranged from 33 years to 61 years (M=48). Most considered themselves Christians (n=13). ! ii! Socioeconomically, 10 of the men lived in poverty. Sixteen were HIV positive; two were pursuing HIV. Most (n=16) secured health care through one of the Medicare or Medicaid products. Through semi-structured interviews and narrative analyses, their life stories portray who these men were and why they imagined HIV to be a fitting means to an end. Results illustrate that the intentional pursuit of HIV was well thought out and strategically planned, and aligned with lifetime struggles, for example, difficulty accepting one’s gay identity. Narrative life patterns that culminated in purposeful pursuit of HIV included addictions, wanting to connect to an HIV positive lover, childhood abuses, secrets, punishment for wrongdoings, and, in one case, HIV as an imagined progression for gay men. ________________________________________________________________________ Major Professor Date ! iii! © Copyright by Thomas James Loveless All Rights Reserved ! iv! Acknowledgements My heartfelt thanks to my major professor, Dr. Patricia E. Stevens. As she knows without her help, writing this dissertation was literally impossible. Finally, after five years I did it – I said more with less. To my committee Barbara Daley, Aaron Buseh, Christine Kovach, and Sarah Morgan, they too have contributed insightfully and expertly, and I am indebted. Any mistakes herein, are mine and mine alone. To my editor Maria Pownall, for seeing this through from my comprehensive exams until now. Your investment seems as hardy as my own. More importantly, you steered this through some difficult times, at the oddest hours of the morning. Your faith in this, especially when coming in to a world so different from your own—is perhaps unheard of. You are brilliant. You deserve canonization. Then enter Deanna Laing—the unusually stormy last few months and the race to the finish, I knew you would not miss a period or an oddly placed comma. Thank you for jumping on board at the last minute. As all those mentioned on this page know, my run-on sentences, my hyperbole, and the many literary messes—each of you helped them go away. Finally, to the eighteen men who allowed me to fillet their hearts and souls. You were begging to be heard. The deeply moving and emotionally powerful stories that you so unselfishly shared, I could not personally imagine—it is quite possible that from each of you, I have learned the most. ! v! Table of Contents Abstract............................................................................................................................... ii Acknowledgements..............................................................................................................x List of Figures ................................................................................................................. xiv Chapter 1: Background and Significance Problem Addressed in this Study.........................................................................................1 Population of Interest...........................................................................................................4 Glossary of Key Terms .......................................................................................................8 Purpose of the Study............................................................................................................9 Significance of the Study.....................................................................................................9 Chapter 2: Historical Analysis and Review of the Literature Background .......................................................................................................................11 Literature Review Design ..................................................................................................12 Intentional Blend of Popular Media and Empiric Literature .............................................13 Metaphor Use for Bug Chasing .........................................................................................14 Key Definitions and Differentiations.................................................................................18 Bug Chasing and Gift Giving ........................................................................................18 Barebacking ...................................................................................................................19 Chronological Review of the Popular Media ....................................................................20 Mainstream Magazines and Newspapers .......................................................................20 Entrance of Video and Documentary.............................................................................23 Return of Written Popular Media...................................................................................27 Chronological Review of the Empirical Literature ...........................................................30 Early Internet Research Explaining Motivations for Bug Chasing ...............................30 ! vi! Fear and Relief.......................................................................................................31 Risk-Taking as Eroticism.......................................................................................32 Loneliness and Group Solidarity ...........................................................................32 Political Activism ..................................................................................................33 Proving Masculinity...............................................................................................33 Issues Explored in More Recent Research on Bug Chasing..............................................34 Status Within the Gay Community........................................................................34 Benefits of HIV Positivity .....................................................................................35 HIV as a Tool for Coping ......................................................................................35 Disparities in HIV Status .......................................................................................36 Barebacking and Barebackers................................................................................37 Synthesis of Extant Knowledge of the Rationale for Bug Chasing ..................................37 Fear and Relief for the Bug Chaser ...............................................................................37 Risk-Taking and the Bug Chaser ...................................................................................38 Loneliness and the Bug Chaser .....................................................................................40 Political Activism and the Bug Chaser ........................................................................42 Masculinity and the Bug Chaser ...................................................................................44 Discussion .........................................................................................................................48