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I Cannot Feel Good If My Neighbor Does Not

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I Cannot Feel Good If My Neighbor Does Not I cannot feel good if my neighbor does not collection of interviews with people from the region of the former Yugoslavia: how they see reconciliation, the past, responsibility, guilt, nationalism, future, etc. www.nenasilje.org title I cannot feel good if my neighbor does not original title Ne može meni bit dobro, ako je mom susjedu loše As unë nuk mund të ndihem mirë nëse fqinji im ndihet keq Не може мене да ми биде добро, ако на мојот сосед му е лошо editors Ivana Franović Helena Rill publisher Center for Nonviolent Action translation from bosnian/croatian/serbian: Nenad Porobić first proofreading: Milena Jovanović final proofreading: Randy Puljek-Shank & Tory Tevis design & layout: Ivana Franović photos: Nenad Vukosavljević & Nedžad Horozović print: Standard 2 Publishing of this book was supported by the Berghof Reasearch Center for Constructive Conflict Management, Berlin and the German Federal Ministry for Economic Cooperation and Development. © CNA - Centre for Nonviolent Action I cannot feel good if my neighbor does not Ivana Franović & Helena Rill (eds.) Translation : Nenad Porobić Center for Nonviolent Action Belgrade-Sarajevo, 2009 contents Vedat (Gjilan/Gnjilane): People need to realize that hatred should not be bred 56 Foreword to the English edition (7) Jadranka (Loznica): They hate while - Foreword (9) - Acknowledgements (12) having no idea what happened - Interviewers (13) - Map of the former 60 Yugoslavia (14) A. (Knin): I am a better Croat because I do good for my country 68 INTERvIEwS Mevludin (Gjilan/Gnjilane): Breaking out Metodija (Skopje/Shkup): The guilt is of the cycle of violence collective. An individual alone cannot 73 pick up a gun and start shooting. 15 Peda (Babušnica): we should look the truth in the eyes Galip (Skopje/Shkup): Every nation has 77 its own nationalism 20 Mustafa (Ulcinj/Ulqin): we are worse than we were told Sead (G. Vakuf – Uskoplje): we are 84 nearing the bottom 26 G. (Bijeljina): True heroes are not today’s heroes Ðuro (G. Vakuf – Uskoplje): People are 86 slowly “sobering up,” although some politicians are still “rattling their sabers” Fata (Bijeljina): Let’s not allow others to 29 speak for us 91 Tamara (Sombor): Hey, can you hear what you are saying? Nexhat (Gjilan/Gnjilane): Trust should 33 protect us, not armies 98 Esma (Sarajevo): If you bleed, I bleed also – blood is one Boris (Knin): To clean up our own 38 backyard first 103 Vojo (Nevesinje): well then, brother, let’s start with ourselves Iva (Zagreb): Start a conversation over 43 Sunday lunch 109 Edin (Ulcinj/Ulqin, Sarajevo): A global phenomenon Junuz (G. Vakuf–Uskoplje): How can I 49 be happy when the unhappy surround me? Predrag (Trebinje): It’s terribly hard to say 115 “I was wrong” 51 Olivera (Kamenica/Kosovska Kamenica): we all share the same queues 118 Kosta (Skopje/Shkup): How did we get to the point of seeking reconciliation? 122 S. (Prishtinë/Priština): I breathe freely, I Nina (Belgrade): I feel better if I know walk freely, we talk freely that I am not sitting and waiting 126 190 Albert (Podgorica): It hurt Albanians, Saša (Sarajevo): I should invite my Roma and others as much as it hurt me neighbors over for a cup of coffee 130 instead of attacking them 199 Darko (Horgoš/Horgos): Third level of guilt: those who did not turn out to vote Dika (Sarajevo): Alhamdulillah 137 202 Petrit (Skopje/Shkup): He – large house, Aleksandar (Split): If you are silent, the you – little house other one will shout, and everyone will 142 listen to it 209 M. (Karlovac): we have things to be ashamed of Sister Makrina (Berovo): One’s enemy is 149 within oneself 216 Ljubica (Popovača): I am afraid that we lack tolerance and dialog, and we need Zymreta (Skopje/Shkup): Hatred only them attracts more hatred 155 219 M. (Subotica/Szabadka): Everyone Srđan (Osijek): Man as the political will thinks that he is the victim and others 226 are guilty 158 Dejan (Zemun): I remember the nineties with anger, and bitterness, and feeling of Josipa (Jajce): Small reconciliations are shame very important 230 164 Lana (Kotor): Time and will Muhamed (Skopje/Shkup): From head 240 to toe 168 M. (Vukovar): I still greet the Croat neighbors with “Bok” and Serb ones Milica (Bijeljina): They found us on the with “Zdravo” road and accepted us into their home 242 170 Vera (Zemun): Nationalism is a sticky Ajša (Podgorica): They participated by thing being silent and doing nothing 247 175 Instead of an afterword: violence has Ivica (Šibenik): He didn’t fall from the been discussed often enough, here’s sky, we voted him in something about nonviolence 182 255 Razija (Sarajevo): And to experience all of it… For what? 188 Translator’s Note Footnotes have been entered and written by the translator and editors. All three languages (Bosnian, Croatian and Serbian) are spelled phonetically, that is, each letter of the alphabet always represents the same sound. Below is the pronunciation guide to the letters not found in the English language. c is ‘ts’ as in bats č is ‘ch’ as in archer ć is ‘tj’ as in tune đ is ‘dg’ as in bridge dž is ‘g’ as in gentle j is ‘y’ as in you lj is ‘lli’ as in million nj is ‘n’ as in new š is ‘sh’ as in sharp ž is ‘zh’ as in treasure Original transcription has been utilized for personal names and local words. On the other hand, the usual English transcrip- tion is used for geographic locations due to a number of towns with two official names in different local languages (Bosnian/ Croatian/Serbian, Hungarian and Albanian). Foreword to the English edition The collection of interviews entitled “I cannot feel good if my neighbor does not” was first published in the winter of 2005, in the Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian, Albanian and Macedonian languages. All those languages, present in different regions of former Yugoslavia, were “intertwined” in one publication which was, in Ivana Franović’s words, to symbolize the “unbreakable linkage between hu- man destinies in this region.” Linkage, despite ethnic and national borders - or linkage due to them… Almost five years later we decided to translate the publication into the Eng- lish language and thus make it accessible to readers outside of the region. Dif- ferent reasons, inclinations and feelings inspired us to make this decision. Starting with slightly trivial ones – many researchers and activists outside of the region incessantly asked us what the “large orange book” was about. Does it have to do with reconciliation? Theoretical works? Oh, I see, people’s testi- monies… how interesting! Then we decided that it would be easier to translate the book into English than to continually have to explain anew what is not easily explicable, or easily retold. Through reasons related to solidarity – aware of how much the “live” ma- terial from other contexts means to us, we wanted to make the publication accessible to the people who were interested in this topic, hoping that it would be read and utilized in the circles which work on the issues of peacebuilding, dealing with the past and reconciliation. This encompasses activist, academic and theoretical points of view. And that’s how we reached the very activist and political reasons. That is… you think “everything is alright here now”? You came a few times to the region, and it’s nice, right? The people are, like, nice, they know how to have fun, they’re friendly, no pressure whatsoever. It’s not like they crazily feel the mutual love and respect, but, it’s alright, a war took place, that’s probably normal… You are right. The “normalcy” category has been the dominant discourse in this area for the last few years. Things are becoming normal. The relations are normalizing. The region is open (while the rest of Europe and a good part of the world are not for most of us). we can travel and visit. we can trade. we watch the same movies, we listen to the same music and read (more or less) the same books. we are meeting the EU conditions for joining at the same time, and so on, and so on… we normalized the region, we normalized our relations. we also normalized a great number of things, which we would rather not speak about since we have been “humanized” overnight while following the international and domestic “stylists’” best advice. - 7 - we normalized hatred, inter-ethnic distrust, ethnically clean states and re- gions, contempt, mockery and disgust for the other and the different. we also normalized our views of the crimes and violence from our (near) past which shows when we shrug our shoulders or turn our heads away. There is no use crying over spilt milk. And it’s everybody’s fault. Except ours. Maybe some kind of peace-activist naivety made us believe that this book’s translation into English could contribute to another understanding of develop- ment. The one stating: yes, changes occurred here, some of them positive. But, stating simultaneously: much more work is needed if we want to make those positive changes sustainable. And if we want to have something more substantial and deeper really happen. we don’t need just any kind of work, we need peace work. what’s necessary is action which rests on the belief that hav- ing a full fridge of Croatian products (for example) is not the same as having a lot of Croatian friends. That the possibility of traveling across the region is not the same as the need to visit some places again to meet people. That to condemn war crimes and support peace (or, more often, be against war) de- claratively are not enough to really stop us from being afraid of each other and to enrich the real and mental maps of our safety zones with the toponyms from the other side of borders.
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