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Upcoming dives May 2008 Issue 2 for 2008 Easter Plymouth What kind of people do we attract?? 24-26 Falmouth weekend May You may think earer El Presidente, as singing all dancing must that the club attracts a well as other named 31st Oceana 25m have toy it is now, it was fairly varied type of peo- members and ex- a collection of text May ple from all walks of like members of the club, pages for computer who are primarily inter- plus the usual learn to geeks, but now every- 14th Kerryado 42m ested in Diving. dive, London dive clubs one and everything must June We all dress up etc searches criteria. have a webpage, and as in rubber at weekend, 21st Littlehampton 35m we all know the club has However, some some of us in skin tight june max a website detailing the are into the more rubber (Shouldn’t be al- activities, history and ‘Westward Bound’ cate- lowed for some) but most 27-5th characters from the gory of searches, which of us in expensive bin- July club. would lead a casual ob- liners, but we seem to be server to believe the 6th July Ramsgarth 25m However, in re- attracting some attention club is more an extreme cent months the website of a different kind. ‘swinger’ type of club has been picked up on The public face and the only diving we 12-13 Ioleanthe(40m) & some strange searches. of the club has moved on do does not require July Salsette (45m) Our webmaster collects over the past few years belts. stages from the website from a club that adver- about what searches Is this a sign we tised in the local pool for found our website, and are moving into a even members, from the local Inside this issue: the results are disturbing greater diversity of community to a point and leads us to question members, or a sign of where today anyone in how people found the our times and that we the world can find out Plymouth Report club. are advertising on ac- 2 about the club in the centually a random me- comfort of their own There are some Chairman’s & Train- dia? ing rambles 4 home. obvious searches car- ried out, including sev- Judge for your- When I joined Dry Event eral about our TV star, selves as the search the club, like a good per- 5 international jetsetter results are shown on the centage of the club, the May Dives and perpetual blocked back page. 6 Internet wasn’t the all Diving fitness 8 The CartmanFish Editorial Notes: Diaries 10 A big thank you to all those who assisted in this months magazine, especially Diver of the Month 12 Linda Humphreys, Paul Brown, Alan Glen and Jeff Proudfoot Please keep sending articles in from everybody, and thanks to the DoM leaks. The Muddy Puddle Easter at Plymouth by Linda Humphreys

It was Easter weekend bumped into a rather Each buddy pair dis- was quite a view. cussed their plan, as it which meant time to worse for wear bunch All in all, my first dive head down to Ply- of divers all in their was my first dive and I only had a ten litre cyl- went without too much mouth. My plan was to sunnies – Paul Brown of a hitch. At one point get to Plymouth by admitted he wasn’t inder, our plan was to “poodle around the my fin was slipping off, 10pm on the Thursday feeling 100% and I I couldn’t reach it so I night; but unfortunately don’t think any of them bow” but others ex- plored further. I wasn’t showed Tony, and as I after spending four looked too disap- motioned what was hours stationary on the pointed that the dive sure what it’d be like diving wrecks as I’m wrong my bottom timer M25 and making vari- was cancelled! began to fall off my ous phone calls trying not particularly inter- Day two and better luck ested in the ships wrist. We swam up the to decide whether I – the dive was on! So hull and Tony kindly sat should just give up and we all drove down to turn back, I the Mount Batten cen- Paul arrived at tre, got the kit on the 2am wel- boat and off we went. Brown comed by a First stop was the rather sleepy James Egan Layne. It admit- Chris Carter. sank in March 1945 After about after ferrying men and ted he four hours materials across the sleep my world for the war effort. wasn’t alarm went After being hit by a tor- off at 7am pedo from a German feeling and I re- U-boat near the Ed- ceived a call dystone , the themselves but I now saying that me on the ship and 100% James Egan Layne know that doesn’t mat- the dive had sorted my life out for was towed towards Ply- ter at all. The hull was been blown me. Back on the boat I mouth with the hope of covered in anemones out. I had wondered if was told I didn’t know saving as much of her which (I’m sure to this would happen how lucky I was with cargo as possible. Tony’s dismay) I found when my car was being visibility like that. In no However on the way great pleasure in prod- blown all over the A303 time at all tea orders back, her stern col- ding repeatedly. in the early were taken and I was There were lots of hours of the warming up with a nice starfish, wrasse morning! After hot chocolate – just the and plenty of other having a late job. Then a delicious fish. I saw what breakfast some chilli was served by looked like a huge of us headed off Pete our skipper. to Plymouth crab below me and aquarium – we apparently The second dive we did thought it could “ordered” my was the Scylla. This is well be the clos- buddy to go down a wreck of F71 HMS to get it for me (!). Scylla, a Leander-class est we’d get to lapsed causing her to marine life that week- The visibility was par- frigate that served in sink in Whitsand bay, ticularly good that day the Royal Navy be- end if the weather did- where she still sits up- n’t improve! On the way and looking up at the tween 1970 and De- right, pointing north to- silhouette of her bow cember 2003. After be- to the aquarium we wards the shore.

Page 2 Issue 2 for 2008

ing decommissioned, on the James Egan so we were going to thinking of his fuel bill! she was bought by the Layne could be found dive the best of a bad A few of us headed in National Marine Aquar- hanging around the bunch (!) which I be- to do the second dive, ium and sunk on the Scylla. Towards the lieve was a wreck of a drift dive over a reef. 27th of March Associa- The visibility wasn’t 2004 in Whit- tion. As particularly good, and a sand bay, w e few people managed to where she headed lose their buddies. The now lies creat- across was quite ing an artificial we saw strong and Chris later reef for divers, how bad complained he’d spent the first of its the con- most the time swim- kind in Europe. ditions ming against it as Neil We all headed were, we tried to take photos! down the main had to journey Monday was the last buoy which day of diving, but this took us to the through s o m e was my day off so deck off the you’ll have to ask the bow, there v e r y choppy others how that went! was lots to see On questioning though again and plenty of end of the dive the cur- sea which was a real rent seemed to pick up test on our stomachs! I found out it was the room to have a good best day weather wise look around. There are a bit and Tony had to Eventually we reached help me get across to our target and de- and the sea was very many large openings calm- typical! (with clearly marked the other side of the scended the shot line. warning signs) in her deck as no matter how There were lots of dif- Overall I really enjoyed hull for more experi- hard I finned I wasn’t ferent coloured star fish my first diving experi- enced divers to pene- getting anywhere! Then and many crabs. War- ence. I loved exploring trate inside her, but be- up the shot we went. ren came up with a va- a completely new envi- ing only my second We then headed back riety of pots and all ronment and seeing the dive I just peeped my to shore, dropped our sorts of goodies that wildlife so close up. head in to have a look tanks off to be filled, he’d found. The freedom I felt put- around. Apparently and went for a curry – Then we had lunch; a ting my training into there is lots to see in- standard procedure on delicious curry, and practice and being able side such as the radar these trips I was in- plenty of naan which to have a nice relaxing control consoles. I was formed! Paul Carvall insisted on dive was amazing. I warned there may not There was lots of talk hoarding down his dry had a brilliant time both be as much life on the of possible dives we suit, along with the in and out of the water Scylla as there was on could do on day two, crisps and malt loaf we and can’t wait for my the James Egan Layne but on boarding the had been given. Nicola n e x t as she was a very boat Pete received got a very nice quorn trip. young wreck, but the news from another boat curry made just for her. hulls were still teaming that where we were Then skipper said that with anemones and hoping to head was too the site in which we’d sea squirts in all differ- choppy. Apparently that stopped for lunch could ent sizes and colours. meant any decent be our 2 nd dive – Paul Also many of the fish dives we could have Brown commented that we saw in the morning done were blown out there’s a skipper who’s

The Muddy Puddle

Training Update Training is on going. please let me know and we can do In addition to the , I the workshop and you can get a Sports diver lectures are still in pro- shall be sorting out Advanced qualification which most other train- gress and will be shortly concluded and practicals for ing agencies charge for. The only with the practical taking place be- Chris Carter and also concluding expense is a small admin charge by tween now and Scapa at the end of same for Roger Smith. BSAC and the mandatory purchase June. 2 Things. of your own set of BSAC In addition to SD, Buzz H is going to tables + the cost of a photo. The 1 As ever I am at your disposal do the Nitrox workshop and get course manual is down loaded free for training... qualified to use NITROX. This work- from the BSAC site. 2 I have some spaces on the shop only really applies to Divers who SO.. Tread boldly. Scapa Flow holiday 28 June to 5 have not learned by the current BSAC July... syllabus which is NITROX compliant. As soon as the current crop of Sports Divers are done, Chris Carter Let me know. If there are any of you who are not and I shall set off and start the Dive Regards qualified to the current BSAC syllabus Leader practicals for the dive leaders and are also not NITROX divers, Alan who have completed the theory. Chairman’s Blog

Friends, Divers, Rubber the summer looks to Minister Griffith has won two individual should freaks give me your scal- promise long lazy days of the day and he has con- hide from me due to their lops… sub aquatic adventure, vinced Claire and Dave inability to communicate but please remember as Elphick (D.O) to hold a or perform tasks assigned The season is now well un- to them by the commit- derway, Easter has come one who speaks first cocktail evening. Tickets hand of this knowledge, are limited and given the tee. You know who you and gone with the usual re- are!! sults of diving chaos, poor beware and do not let events of the last one, the viz and strangely excellent your skills or attention entertainment value should To the rest of you have a weather, the club has slip form the task at be high… great season and I hope launched many successful hand. Above all please With regards the other not to see you DoM. listen to the Skipper on sorties into the blue/green/ committee issues, I’m Your eternal dictator brown of the channel and the boat and the experi- sorry to say we haven’t one not quite so successful enced hands of the club. had a meeting for a while, El Presidente one. There is more training in party due to my being By now most of you will be the up and coming posted to Leicester for 6 dreaming of shoals of Bass weeks, as General Glen campaign and partly for and Pouting, grabbing crabs has outlined in his report the reason we haven’t and lobsters, finding ship’s so please let him know if needed one for a while as bells and hidden treasure you are interested. most of the issues out- chests for the long winter of Also it seems that my standing have been re- discontent has ended and persistent badgering of solved. Although one or

Page 4 Issue 2 for 2008

Croydon BSAC 23 Cocktails and Canapes with other Diving Entertainment 7th June 2008 6pm – 10pm

Dave’n’Claire’s, Thanet Place, Croydon Tickets £10 from [email protected] Limited to 20 only Cocktails Canapes Champagne Cocktails Fish Bellini Prawn and Avocado mousse on Buck’s Fizz croustade Classic Champagne Cocktail Bellini’s with Caviar Kir Royale Smoked Salmon Roulade Long Drinks Seafood vol-au-vente Long Island Iced Tea Meat Pimms No1 Miniature toad-in-the-hole Moscow Mule Chicken Liver Pate on melba toast Fruity Ones Beef and artichoke tart Mai Tai Vegetarian Rum Punch Stuffed mushrooms Pina Colada Samosas Non-Alcoholic Miniature Cheese’n’Onion Pasties Juices – Peach, Orange, Pineapple (Diet) Coke Page 5 (Diet) Lemonade The Muddy Puddle May Dives by Paul Brown

The club's schedule for and stern both standing proud the way. The wreck disap- some nice weather for May was packed with div- of the seabed. The mid-ships peared into the sand for a the planned dive on Sun- th ing, with only one weekend area disappears into the sand while, but we carried on as I day the 11 May. The out of five not having a from the bigger bow section knew there was another sec- idea had been to dive the boat booked. This chokka- and reappears some distance tion standing up. We reached Tycho, an interesting diving-month began with a away where the stern eventu- the stern and made a circuit wreck off of Worthing in trip down to Brighton on ally rises. Apparently the six- of the large section that still about 33m, but unfortu- Bank Holiday Monday to bladed propeller sticks out on stands, I picked up a lobster n a t e l y dive the Fortuna from it's shaft from the stern as and Chris had a good fight Steve had “Chris Brighton Diver II. This was though suspended in midair, with a crab. The had t a k e n our first trip with Paul Dyer although I didn’t notice this. started to pick up so we de- Channel had a for 2008 and he was good Chris Griffiths had drawn the cided to drift slowly back Diver there good enough to arrange for the short straw so had to endure along the wreck to the Bows, the day be- sea to be flat and the sun the "pleasure" of diving with where we done one or two fore and the fight more circuits before launch- viz had to be shining. Whilst chug- me. Our plan had been for ing the blobs for our ascent. been awful. with a ging out we crossed a line about 45mins on the Fortuna, A pleasant enough dive of The May about 3 miles from the but as the Clodmoor is a crab” 58mins on the wreck with a bloom was wreck site where the water slightly shallower wreck we couple of minutes of stops in in and, as changed from a blueish were able to extend this a visibility that wasn't great, but per usual, it was ruining green to a mucky, plank- little. We jumped in first and was better than expected. our sport just as the tony, snotty green. Paul descended to what I think came out for a look and was the bows, Paul had After tea/sandwiches/piss weather started improv- suggested we may be bet- asked us to keep a lookout taking about my lobster/ ing. Steve gave us the choice of going offshore ter off going to the Clod- for a shot that he'd lost in the criticism of my crab// and taking a chance with moor where he had some same area, so we had a look liberating of my lobster/ the viz or staying in and OK visibility the day before, round but couldn't see any- liberating of my crab it was doing a shallow wreck so we swung round and thing. In 3m visibility we time for the second dive on close to shore where the headed a bit further east to headed off slowly towards the the ledges. Visibility was visibility was much better. the Clod. bows keeping one eye out for about 1-2m and it really was- It was a bit of a no- The armed steamship the shot weight and another n't all that good. I don't think brainer really, we went Clodmoor was launched in out for crabs/lobsters. I anyone done longer than with the viz and headed 1902 weighing 3700 tons picked up a decent sized crab 30mins. All in all an excellent for the wreck of the Indi- and measuring 340 feet in just before we rounded the day out that ended with a ana. length. She was sunk in bows which are very man- couple of rather civilised 1917 by torpedo 5 miles gled. This wreck is not at all post-dive pints in the yacht The Indiana was a 2266 south of Newhaven on shipshape and it is rather dif- club. ton Hull-registered steamship built in 1889 route from Bahia Blanca for ficult to orientate yourself, The weather all week after measuring 277 ft. x 38 ft. Newcastle whilst carrying a especially in poor visibility. the bank holiday was fantas- that sank on the 1 March cargo of wheat. Today she From the bows we headed off tic, with the sun shining down 1901 after a collision in lies in 28m (high water) in towards the stern, fighting and very little wind blowing, heavy fog with the City of two pieces with the bow with crabs and lobsters along which meant we were set for Washington. The wreck

Page 6 Issue 2 for 2008 now lies very broken lot of sweating. After a con- their flashing skin. After just forgotten to “drain the about a mile off of Wor- flab with Paul Carvall and over an hour of premiership- lizard” before the dive. level rummaging I On the bottom he sig- had a couple of nalled to his buddy that a crabs in the bag bladder-emptying was and decided to as- required, but said buddy cend – no deco re- ignored this and carried quired here, just a on crab hunting. Unfortu- couple of fin strokes nately that meant that and I was on the Manta had only one surface, which was choice – to let loose in by this time mirror- his drysuit like a baby in calm. a nappy! Suffice to say The last sighting of the Indiana before she sank Back on the boat he stank like the gents in the Rose and Crown for thing Pier in 8m of water. and I am more than happy: the rest of the day, I’ve Tony Ray, my buddies (I use excellent viz, roasting hot So here we were, an never seen so many flies the term loosely) for the day, and a crab to take home (I hour’s steam from Brigh- buzzing round that far out we decided that we wouldn’t threw the second one back). ton in flat calm seas with at sea! be taking our stage bottles It was then that certain sto- the sun blazing down with us, so in we plopped. ries started circulating on the A slow chug back to the carrying several 12l twin- The viz really was excellent – boat…The first was of a ledges was filled with the sets, a couple of 15l twin- 10m at least, and as we were nameless diver/Equipment usual teas, banter and sets and a all so shallow the light meant Officer who thought that the sandwiches before a sec- to do an 8m dive. To add that there was no need for best was to jump in was with ond dive on the ledges. insult to injury there were torches at all. The wreck is his suit open. This despite The visibility here was a couple of blokes al- very broken up and is really having the skipper of the about 4-5m, much better ready on site it just a rummage dive. There boat standing next to him than the previous week. – ye, that’s right, we are a few points of interest – shouting to everyone to Conga, lobsters and a lot were diving a wreck that winches, a large section of make sure their suits were of berried crabs littered can be done using a plating and some of the deck done up! Steve, being quite the ledges but alas we . Oh the shame. fittings, but largely this wreck good at this sort of thing, didn’t get anything more Still, one good thing was is a load of spread out metal managed to recover the for the pot. that the viz was there lumps on a shingle seabed. nameless one and get him and so was the wreck – This was a top day out The attraction was the life – back on board, so the at- we knew this because that really punched it’s completely covered in fish, tempted failed – we could see it over the above it’s weight – OK, crabs, conga, blennies, tuni- must try harder next time!!!! side of the boat! cates and kelpy-planty-crud. so the first dive was very Second story was of an shallow, but we had the Kitting up was a chore Also inhabiting the wreck are elder-statesman of the club. viz and it’s not often you that was carried out with several large cuttlefish – I Apparently, Manta (as he’s get to spend an hour on a certain amount of em- saw four all in different areas, known to his friends) drank a the wreck with only a barrassment and quite a all hovering about looking at me with their beady eyes and little too much water and had minute needed to as-

Page 7 The Muddy Puddle Want to get Lean and Trim ? Then Dive!

As we all know Diving is becoming more and more popular, and a certain mystic is building up in the media about those who participate in it. The Hollywood image of divers being glossy men and women in silver suits, and instant dry hair still seems to abound, but according to some of the press diving is the next big thing for fitness nuts and Hollywood work out videos. Below is an article found in http://www.scubaherald.com/ So how can you become the next Jessica Alba thanks to ...

Think of the amount of calories you loose while scuba diving.

Here we go:

Shapely legs: Swimming with fins (flippers) is like water-based weight-training - firming the front of the thighs as you kick down and the back of the thighs as you kick up. 4 stars

Weight loss: Surprisingly good for burning energy. Someone weighing approximately 70kg (11st) burns 13 calories a minute while scuba diving, so a 45-minute dive would use 585 calo- ries. 3 stars

Cardio respiratory fitness: According to the British Thoracic Society, scuba divers tend to have larger-than-average lungs and an increased vital capacity (the maximum volume of air exhaled after inhalation). 4 stars

Upper-body strength: The back, shoulders and arms get a certain amount of work lugging around equipment, but once in the water, the upper body gets off lightly. Arms are usually folded across the chest or kept by the sides. 2 stars

Convenience: Even if you decide to dive in the UK, it's still an equipment-heavy, location- specific, expensive sport that requires a licence, and therefore tuition. 1 star

There are a few issues with the points above that need consideration.

With the exception of Paul Carvall, nobody really fins any wear under water, we either wreck walk or go with the current.

The weight lost during the dive is usually added back with interest with the post dive curry and 10 pints of larger.

Larger lungs just mean some people seem to drink more air especially when they’ve lugged their gear from the car, with a fag in their mouth.

Finally there is nothing convenient about driving 40miles, lugging all that gear on the boat, only to be told the dive is blown out.

So the next time you’re on a look around, you could be sitting next to a supermodel or Hollywood hunk, or you could be sitting next to a fat bloke, with a pie in his mouth and a very large beer belly!!!

Page 8 Club Notices Issue 2 for 2008

Training

Lifesaver Course Dive Leader Course New!!! BSAC SDC, to be run over the summer To be run in 3rd Quarter 2008 Pool Times : Open to all members. Open to Sports Divers/members. 8pm to 9pm Please contact Alan Glen to register Please contact Alan Glen to register your interest.. your interest.. Wednesday’s

Notices

Teacher Wanted!! New Home Wanted for the Bod Mobile .

Illiterate car mechanic re- 1carful owner and 1 El Presidente quires lessons in reading, 108k, still drives like new (!), FSH, no dents but a few stains, E/ writing, financial planning W, E/M, pop up headlights, CD/radio, Tax and Mot, Black, 4 and time keeping. seats, boot large enough for 2 twinsets and 4 stages + kit Please reply to Al at Must be willing to drive like a maniac and love it!! P.O Box 807

Next Time your bored and want to spice up your diving weekends with some action above the water, then consider P&P’s Moorland Orienteering Course We will teach you all the survival techniques to stay alive on Dartmoor, you will learn how to live off the land, to go without food or water, to outwit the local wildlife, sheep, rabbits, ponies and even hedgehogs. You will learn to navigate without the use of GPS or maps, but with an internal compass to guide you, you will learn the skills of wandering until you are hopelessly lost. P&P’s Moorland Orienteering course gives you all this skills and so much more. We taught R.Mears all he knows….

For Sale Raising Money for the RNLI 15lt Steel Cylinder Stainless Steel www.buymybeard.com Out of Test Pony Clamp Reasonable offers Quick release Contact £30 Chris B Contact Chris B Page 9 The Muddy Puddle The Cartmanfish Diaries by Jeff Proudfoot

What have I done this year?

It’s been a bit of an odd year all round so far with diving being pretty far down the list of priorities. Personally I blame Steph who has used the excuse of ‘gaining an education’ to scupper most plans. I went to Plymouth in February to dive the Scylla and as usual with Plymouth trips ended up doing something completely different. The dive show reared its ugly head in March and was notable for a meeting with Russ Smithers and Dan Tamone and the ab- sence of Gail from Gozo Aqua Sports. I secured half a semi-dry, which I later put to good use in Malta. Which brings us to Malta. Having secured two weeks half board at the Topaz, Unseasonably good February weather at Plymouth.

Bugibba, for £500 including flights for the two of us what could possibly go wrong? That’s possibly the wrong word. What happened was something different. Instead of the hairy-arsed boy things we usually indulge in, I found myself doing gentle, relaxing stuff and, strangely enough, quite enjoyed it! The sea was kicking up a bit, well, a lot, on the south side so we headed North. I had suggested that L’Ahrax Point and the Inland Sea, mainland version, would be a good dive espe- cially as no one but me had done it be- fore. We got there and the sea was like a millpond. We kitted up and headed off keeping the shoreline in sight all the L’Awhrax Point entry.

way. It took s half an hour to get to the Point where I found a stiff current facing us. In view of the time it had taken to get this far, I decided that it would be safer not to risk rounding the Point and gave the turn around signal. We headed back with me bringing up the rear until I noticed we were out of sight of the shoreline. I turned forty-five degrees south, no mean feat as my compass had escaped on my first dive, and the others joined me rather reluctantly and with lots of gesticulation (Where the hell are you going? That sort of thing.) Luckily the shoreline re-appeared and we were able to proceed by pilotage to the exact place where we got in for a dive time of just over

the hour. Page 10 Issue 2 for 2008

We did an interesting dive on the South side of Cirkewwa and found this arch which I’d never seen before which is quite amaz- ing seeing as how often I’ve dived in this area. This pic- ture doesn’t convey the size of it. It’s actually compara- ble to the one under the on Gozo. What I was trying to convey here (below) is that this is very similar to British diving. In fact it’s rarely dived for this very reason. Anyway Martin Stanhope from Sub- way seemed impressed. Mind you, I got the impres- sion that he thought I was having him on when after

The ‘other’ Cirkewwa Arch Conrods on the M.V. Odile. eight minutes of swim- ming across Kalkara Creek we’d seen nothing. Then suddenly out of the gloom the wreck jumped out at us. And it is big, deceptively so, for such a small waterway. We looped round the deck and attempted to go through some holes in the plates, followed the big chains and, just as it was time to leave, I real- ized we’d found the en- gine room. The movie I shot on this wreck is on Facebook, but if you want to view it you probably have to ‘ask to be my friend’. Sorry.

Page 11 The Muddy Puddle Diver of the Month

Welcome back to Diver of the mission to the Dartmoor over Easter with his was ok, and he was. However upon surfacing Month, after a few months (eh!) rest we are partner in crime, and for the second year got it appeared that his drysuit had sprung a leak please to announce the DoM award is back. hopeless lost we are told, He’d bought a map, on the inside, and wasn’t full of sea-water but however Paul refused to bring a compass something very yellow. Sorry Tony ‘Pampas’ This month runs from the start of the year, instead relying on his own instincts, stating Ray no award for you either this month. thus ruling out last years Events!!! before the event “My entire body is a com- This month the award goes to a Our first nominee is no stranger to the pass”. They got so lost they had to walk an member of the club, who supplied both a boat DoM awards but has never yet won it, al- extra 4miles back to the cars, Paul please see full of divers and the skipper with a great deal ways the brides maids. However he does Mr Griffith about a GPS. of mirth. When preparing to enter the water hold the record for number of nominations, Next comes the tale of an elder sometime are forgotten, how- Chris Griffith has been nominated again by statement of the club and should really know ever this nominee got kitted up, and shot a variety of people who shall remain name- better, one a recent dive of relatively little ready to jump in, the skipper screamed for less. This ‘month’ Chris inspired us with his depth our nominee dived in with 2 other everyone to check their zips and hoses, our yoyo technique of diving, as he has decided experienced divers and proceeded to enjoy nominee cast his eagle eye around the boat , that remain constantly at a depth is boring the good vis. After 40 minutes of diving he trying to find someone not ready to jump in… and has decided to fluctuate his depth by up started acting very strangely, and began to However he forgot to check himself, he to 6m whilst fining ahead. Anyone who has gesticulate to his nether regions. His buddy leaped into the water without his drysuit zip dived with Chris will no this can be normal seeming no obvious cause for concern contin- done up, and with one of his inflators discon- for him, however the real nomination ued on with the wish of completing an hour nected. He proceeded to shriek and splutter comes from the fact he chose to ignore the underwater. Our nominee continued to point to the look of disbelief from the onlooker changing rooms at Wraysbury and strip in and clutch at his crutch for several more min- aboard, once they were sure he was in no the car park (he might have been told there utes, Then a 60minutes they returned to the danger did the hilarity of the situation dawn were no changing rooms by his buddy) and shot line, our nominee with a look of blissful on them. This month’s DoM is Alan ‘Flying then proceeded to waddle with Twinset, satisfaction, only now did his buddy ask if he Low’ Lawrence. stage bottle, drysuit and FINS on across the car park to enter the water at the furthest point much to the disbelief of the Wrays- bury dive community. Not only this but Chris also brought his own entourage, his girl friend and two mates who don’t and won’t dive witnessed this spectacle. Nice one Chris, but still not good enough. We next come to the tale of Paul Brown, expert diver and all round club boy, it seems that Mr Brown, after years of abus- ing members of the club about compass work seems to have a had a lapses of con- centration both below and above the water. Searches for the Website Towards the end an early year Wraysbury dive, Paul surfaced for a bearing and then proceed way underwater leading his buddy back to shore, however after 15minutes of not reaching the shore, surfaced again and then once more for bearing only to end up in a wild corner of Wraysbury 400m from their entry point with a long surface swim back. If that wasn’t enough he then for the successive year Page 12 under took a