Regents Raise Tuition gain• by Joe Coletti criticized the increase in student fe es ac dents would once again have to bear the the lack of growth in state funding and Students are hearing the usual re companying the tuition hike. He added brunt of the proposed sacrifices. reductions in the amount of federal fund frain upon returning to Ann Arbor this that the percentage increase in tuition Another possible worry, one voiced ing to the University - usually in the year: "Tuition's gone up." In their July would be a misleadingly low 7.5 percent by Regent Neal Nielsen (R-Brighton), is form of research grants - for indirect meeting, the regents voted unanimously if one did not include the 2 percent in that some students would bear part of costs. for what is being called a "shared sacri crease for which the fee hikes account. the burden for other students. Over 46 The reductions in federal funding fices" budget that calls for an average Over two weeks after the tuition vote, percent of the tuition increase ($12 mil have resulted from changes in the tuition increase of approximately 9 per President Duderstadt's wife, Anne, was lion) "will go directly back into student government's rules regarding research cent, including a retroactive registration offered a $35,000 position with the Uni finattcial aid," according to Provost Gil grants. The U-M's federal funding had fee increase of $20 and a 100 percent versity. Baker was also highly critical of WhiW
------~...... ,...=-"""'"'=.,,-.======-.. --.-.----.::= .. , j, 2 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 9, 1992
• Ir'" THE Serpent's Tooth MICIDGAN REVIEW The Maoist International Movement's nist movement," the magazine states, race." Contradiction or ,redundancy? You estimable journal of communist affairs, "Our reporter .. . found a condemning be the judge. The Campus Mfairs Journal MIM Notes, made the following offer to memo from a (former] Yale comrade. of the its readers this July in its subscription Professor Geoffrey Hazard wrote that it The Psalm ofWaslungton, D.c., as penned University of Michigan box: "I wanna help distribute MIM is 'not dear that she has a genuine com by a General Motors employee: "George Theory (a quarterly journal produced by prehension of law. There are degrees of Bush is my shepherd, I shall not want. I MIM]. Send me 10 copies of No.2 & 3 for ignorance, or worse, that may be out He leadeth me beside the still factories. I $30. I'll sell'em for $4.95 each and keep weighed by brilliance, but by any canons He restoreth my doubt in Washington We are the Establishment the difference." Are y' all sure that you of academic responsibility, Ms. politics. I He guideth me to the path of Editor-in-Chief Adam DeVore want to do that? It might mcourage and MacKinnon seems to have gone beyond unemployment. I He anointeth my wage reward entrepreneurship. them.'" with freeze, I so my expenses runneth Publisher Karen S. Brinkman over my income. I Surely poverty and What Simon and Garfunkel might have Will wonders never cease? "Hanoi" Jane hard living shall I follow this adminis Executive Editors Andrew Bockelman sung this year: "Where have you gone, Fonda forsook politics, married a rich tration I and I shall live in a rented house . Tony Ghecea H. Ross Perot? Heaven holds a place for man, and now has quit her job making forever. I 5,000 years ago Moses said, those who quit, and it's a pit." You poor exercise videos to settle down and be 'Pack your camel, I pick up your shovel, Contributing Editors Joe Coletti Jay D. McNeill Perot supporters should have known come a housewife. Congrats! You're in mount your ass, and I shall lead you to I Tracy Robinson better; rearrange the big-eared little ductee number two into the MacKinnon the promised land.' I 5,000 years later, Stacey L. Walker Texan's name and you get "Short Poser." Do as I Say, Not as I Do Society. Fill. Roosevelt said I 'Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass, / light up a Camel, Music Editor Chris Peters The August Playboy had some interest In the midst of a relentless job search, one __ this is the promised land.' I Today, Literary Editor Adam Garagiola ing comments about the U-M's own fa Review staffer !jklh\bled across a help George Bush will tax your shovel, I sell vorite law professor Catharine wanted ad for'the position of "City Engi-" your camel, kick your ass, I and tell you Assistant Editors Ryan Boeskool Beth Martin MacKinnon (who, despite her arch-femi neer." The ad see~d pretty reasonable Japan is the promised land." But fear, 0 Brian Schefke nist rhetoric and beloved male-bashing, until its final sentence, which read, trembling reader I for it is Bill Clinton is soon to be wed). After characterizing "[Sleeking qualified black as well as other and Prophet Gore I who unto you offer .•' -€Opy Editor Shannon Pfent her as "the Freddy Krueger of the femi- qualified applicants without regard to a New Covenant. MTSMeister DougThiese
Business Managers Peter DaugaVietis r------:'1 Are you looking ChetZarko :Cardinal: for a place to put Advertising Manager Jennifer Wei! I Garment Care Centers I your talents to Staff Authorized U of M Drycleaner Eddie Arner, Christopher Bair, Michele good use? Brogley, P.J. Danhoff, James E. Elek, Joe Epstein, Frank. Grabowski, Chuck Hugener, ~e offer Nate Jamison, Ken Johnston, Mary the Cat, Bud Muncher, Crusty Muncher, Drew Peters, convenient dry cleaning Join the staff of Mitch Rohde, Ed Sloan, TS Taylor, Perry plck-up and delivery Thompson, Jim Waldecker, Matt Wilk, Tony the Michigan Re Woodlief. at all resldence hall view and search Editors Emeriti Brian Jendryka front offices John J. Miller -Shirts no more. -Sweaters The Michigan Review is an independent, stu.. The Michigan Review is currently recruiting new writers, dent-run journal at the University of Michi .. -Skirts I researchers, graphic artists, p,hotographers, book and gan. We neither solicit nor accept any dona .. I -Dresses I tions from the University of Michigan. Contri music reviewers and advertising sales representatives. butions to the Michigan Review are tax- ~-- -...... ,...-~---_~...,...... ,=c-- .- ,.-.-.. ...- -..... -.. .. '>-"~"-'""-""-' ,. . ~ September 9, 1992 THE MICH,IGAN REVIEW 3 \ ~H~? U-M Hires Pre$id'ent's Wife for $35,000 by Karen S. Brinkman nizing and pOSSibly compensating the ization" of work she was already doing Regent Deane Baker (R-Ann Arbor) As students who remain in Ann Ar work that she already does as the on an ad hoc basis. expressed concern about the hiring in bor during the summer months know, president's wife. As the Ann Arbor News The hiring took effect last week on light of this year's budget constraints. the University bureaucracy is no less ac reported, ''Duderstadt has a full sched- September 1. Duderstadt's job duties Baker said that regardless of whether tive from May to August than during the ule of fund raising events, speaking en- will include organizing and directing Duderstadt personally benefits finan rest of the year. gagements, hostessing and accompany- fundraisers, maintaining alumni and cially, putting her on the payroll will cost This past summer was no different ing her husband to various functions." donor relations, and coordinating pro- the University as much as $8,000 in taxes Tuition was raised, Director The situation, however, motional activities which relate to the and benefits. Prior to her hiring, of AffirmatiVe Action and has evolved since then. The President's House and Inglis House. Part Duderstadt already received health care Special Advisor to the Presi University created a job posi- of her efforts will be directed toward the coverage under her husband's insurance dent Zaida Giraldo curiously tion, posted it as required by Campaign for Michigan, a five-year plan with the University. "resigned" on June 30, and a law, and received approxi- fund raising campaign designed to raise Both Baker and Nielsen believe that new director for the Sexual mately 25 applications. Ac- $850 million dollars, which the Univer- the matter should be brought up before Assault Prevention and cording to Associate Vice sity will kick-off on September 18. the Board of Regents at their next meet Awareness Center was cho President for Development When she accepted the position, ing, which is in mid-September. Regental sen in late August. This sum Joseph Roberson, the person- Duderstadt stated that she would donate Bylaw 2.13 grants the regents the power mer also saw an unprec nel department screened the her salary to the Center for the Education to control all University hirings. edented hiring, as the U-M applications and only pre- of Women. In a letter she later sent to As of press time, U-M spokesman hired President James sented one applicant, Anne R~berson, she said that she will work Walter Harrison has not returned calls to Duders.tadt's wife, Anne, as Anne Duderstadt Duderstadt, as meeting the without compensation. Roberson said he his office or home regarding Duderstadt's an institutional advancement minimum qualifications. De- does not know if her pledge extends be- hiring. officer (read: a fund-raiser). spite this "full schedule," Duderstadt was yond her first year of employment. It is According to Regent Neal Nielsen offered and acceptea a $35,OOO-a-year ". also unclear whether the position could Karen S. Brinkman is the publisher of (R-Brighton), there was private talk of part-time position which includes du-. '" one day be overtaken by someone who the Review. She'll need a job in May. compen'5ating Duderstadt for some time ties and superviSOry. responsibilities in Will not forego the salary. before the subject came before the re addition to her activities as the president's gents. Original press reports state that wife. Roberson, Duderstadt's supervi r------, the University was interested in recog- sor, says the position is simply a "formal- I The Official ReYUmrChallenge: I I The U-M HiredAnne Duderstadt, , Don't' wait : . But Why? : I Although Anne Duderstadt undoubtedly deserves recognition for handling I I the duties that come with being the president's wife, it remains unclear that it was until, .it's I necessary to creat~ the position which she currently holds. Considering how I closely Duderstadt's hiring followed the discussion of recognizing her efforts and . 1 perhaps financially compensating her, it certainly appears that the position she too late. I now holds was.ereated for her, despite University claims to the contrary. Although 1the University, as reqUired by law, posted the job opening for at least a week and I "ccepted 25 ~pplicatio.ns for it, one ~~t wonder whether so~eone w~ has never ,before been mvolvedm such fundrmsmg were the mostqualified candidate for the SU BSC;RIBE job. to the Michigan Review, I Furthermore, it also remains unclear who was previously doing the work she the campus affairs journal of I will now do and what those employees will be doing with their time in the future. the Univ~rsity of Michigan. I While the University may argue that the Campaign for Michigan necessitated the I creation of a new position, the facts remain that the Campaign's "nucleus fund I phase" has been underway for approximately two years and that Duderstadt's • . hiring took effect a mere 17 days before the beginning of the public phase. Enclosed is my TAX-DEDUCTlBI,.E dona . 1 . Then there's the economic question. Duderstadt first promised to donate her I \ .. .~.~::- tion of $2{) or more (Qr 27 weekly I~arnings to the Center for the Education of Women. She later decided that. she I .~ ~.~~- ' '. -~ issues plus the 1993 Summer Orien would not accept any salary at all- without specifying, however, the duration of tation Issue. I that pledge's validity. Aside from that, the creation of an additional institutional I I development officer raises the possibility that future holders of the part-time .Please send my subscription to: Iposihon might accept its $35,000 per annum salary . I But we're reasonable folks. That's why we hereby offer every U-M regent, Name: ______Ijames Duderstadt, Anne Duderstadt and those involved in her hiring (specifically I.Walter Harrison, Joe Roberson, and members of the Campaign Steering Commit I tee) the opportunity to respond to our analysis of the situation, in writing, in a Address: ______I subsequent issue of the Review. The first response received at the Review office will I be printed in its entirety as soon as possible. Please limit responses to 1,300 words. . It) Responses can be sent to: . 1.< . . Rezl1ew Challenge Offer . Is' 0 Please make check or' money order payab.le. .. to: . 9 . N ... '" n.e . A .. ..' , 1 . . 11 0,.... Uw~eruV~lty venue . . THE MICHl?AN REVIEW ' :.:. . . ; 'I " . \. , Ann Arbor,:Ml 4si09-~~ ,~ iii" ,,'" II.· " " 911 North Uruverslty Avenue, Stpte One, Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 L ______~ 'L.f ;<"'FAX_ t:l13\·iiiI _.~36-2505______.. .. -- __.... • , •. ,., . ••••• ______••••••• __ • ____ •• ____ •••• ___ . _ •• • • _... ~ . , r .o . ,. , • ••• Or • •• _ ••••••••.•...•••"., •• =.~-----~ . ------,..,..;;,:..,..-. -;:-.;; ;;;;;;;;;::_-;;...;.-. -.;.....;;;;.;;;.;...... ,..;.,;,.;.,;;;,;;;;;;;;:;;;;:====-- 4 TJi'EMICHIGlW REVIEW September 9, 1992 From Suite One: Editorial ;1:,:-, • tic'" New Behavior Code is- a Panacea - Isn't It? We Can All Trust the Administration - Can't We? Many of you have probably already seen Draft 101 of the University of Michigan's Most obviously, the code would threaten sanctions - up to and including Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities, since it was mailed home to all expulsion from the U-M - for unacceptable behavior "within and without the students who attend the Ann Arbor campus (for an estimated cost of over $20,000) University." The victim of a student's misconduct, furthermore, apparently need not along with a survey about it. The reaction of those returning their surveys has be the one who files a complaint with the U-M. But it's hard to imagine being penalized reportedly tended strongly toward the positive, but the administration plans to wait in Ann Arbor for a scuffle in New York, isn't it? until October 9 before enacting a tentative policy. Although Section III of the Draft offers a list of "[b ]ehavior or situations that may Accompanying the survey, you probably noticed a letter from U-M President be found in violation" of the policy, the list is not exhaustive. Nor does it indicate where James Duderstadt and Vice President for Student Services Maureen Hartford, which the remainder of proscribed activities can be found. But it's hard to imagine someone explained in part that "the University has had in place since 1988 the Interim Policy on being held accountable to a law that he never knew - and could not find out - existed, DiSCriminatory Conduct," The letter neglects to mention that the Interim Policy's isn't it? predecessor was ruled unconstitutionally broad and intrusive on First Amendment One of the disfavored behaviors is issuing "threats of injury or harm." That seems rights. Worse, rather than simply stating that as a result of the Supreme Court's recent pretty reasonable - as long as everyone has the same understanding of what counts decision in RA. V, the Interim Policy itself would almost surely fail if contested in as a "threat." Nowhere does the Draft specify its operational definition of this pivotal court, the letter euphemized, II a Supreme Court ruling in another case rendered key term. Granted, the Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center (SAPAC) has portions of our policy unenforceable." . claimed that a sly glance can amount to "psychological rape," but surely nobody Stil~ a cursory read of Draft 10.2 might lead one to believe that the U-M has finally would ever believe that an angry or annoyed glare amounted to a "threat." That's learned its Jesson. Not entirely so. Granted, the Draft is less intrusive than its taking things a bit too far - isn't it? predecessors. But, although'the materials the University sent downplayed the pro ~ Another unacceptable mode of behavior includes, "discriminating against ll!l posed policy's relevance to the First Amendment (of the six sample cases illustrating individual or group in any activity, opportunity, or organization on the basis of race, the alleged need for the code, one involved physical harassment, one sexual assault, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, creed, national origin ancestry [sid age one stalking and harassing, two assaults, and one brandisfJi.ng of a handgun), the c·. or marital status," states the Draft. That standard alone provides 60 distinct scenarios proposed code for student,behavior remains dangerously.-iague, particularly on the"" in principle; fraternities and sororities, for example would almost certainly have to be issue of speech. Criticisms of the proposed procedure for hand!iJlg complaints aside, disbanded. But the Draft gives no definition of "discrimination." Thus a theocentric the very definitions of the standards to which students will be forced to conform are student organization may have to offer homosexuals the same privileges - from disappointingly elusive. group membership to leadership opportuniti~:;.:: as heterosexual students, even if the students in the group understood their-religion to dictate an altogether different attitude. East Quadrangle's Women's Weekend featured a women-only program Join the Staff of the segment; is that now forbidden? What of the infamous Take Back the Night march, which consciously seeks to exclude men? Could a group of homosexual students exclude a heterosexual student from one of their meetings or discussions, however Michigan Review sensitive? Of course, there are already many laws governing discrimination, so it must be rather paranoid to imagine that one's jury (composed of half a dozen randomly selected students who need only decide 4-2 that the accused is "more likely than not" guilty) might accept a dangerously broad definition of the term - isn't it? FestiFall Friday, September 18 "[H}arassment that unreasonably interferes with an individual's work, educa \ tional performance, or living environment" is also prohibited under the Draft. (As there is no definition of harassment provided, one might substitute the following: 11 AM - 4PM "Anything that unreasonably interferes ... " After all, if it interfered and seemed Diag deliberate, it more likely than not constituted a form of harassment.) But whether any given action or verbal remark "interferes" with another's work, educational perfor mance, or living environment depends upon the supposed sensitivity of the alleged victim. Who are the student jurors to say whether a particular comment or gesture had a given effect? Yet if only the victim can know, how can anyone be certain that the victim isn't overreacting, or perhaps blaming one rude person for some upset arising Mass from other causes? Of course, the problems that the U-M is seeking to overcome are Sunday, September 20 so serious and widespread that it is reasonable to entrust our academic status, among 7PM other things, to six random students (who may not be legal experts on harassment and Meeting discrimination) and a handful of administrators - isn't it? Michigan League, 3rd Floor Given the ambiguity from which the proposed code suffers in its most important section, one must imagine that it will have a chilling effect not only on speech, but on many kinds of social interaction. But that's to be expected and accepted - isn't it? It seems evident that Draft 10.2 is in need of more than superficial clarification. Despite its good intentions to combat violence and harassment, it has great potential to be abused and, due to its ambiguity, jeopardizes many harmless activities that a free Weekly Sundays society would permit. A far simpler (though hardly ideal) alternative exists, however. Under Regental Bylaw 2.01, the President of the University has the authOrity, without Meetings 7PM limitation, to take the necessary action to preserve "order among the students." That power should suffice for coping with the kinds of situations the Duderstadt/ Hartford Michigan League, 3rd Floor letter highlights, especially since such authority could subsume even the EmergenCy Suspension pro~6nthat the Draft outlines. AS a safeguard for students' liberties (to :I ,..:' which fhe adminis~~ti6n's mailing repeatedly suggests it is committed), the U-M can 662-1909 and uk for Ad8Pl or Karen for more infc..nnation. : mi~ht a~opt a ~oli ~ _ ... _ .... ___ ""'-'" _ ~,_" __ ,_ ... ____ ... _~ ~.~"-", ... ,'.'~~~,,,;.-- if;:.:."... ;.:;..",~,,·· ,-"~'f; ...... i,~ to, . r,.""'" '"!' , i ,_ ~ ,,:: ~ ,." ' H_----::;-~~_~, - ~;::.....;;:':;::'7;:,---::"~':::.-'-:--- - , ,«-<;«;;;;:,.' , ..,,_, ,~~~--~-"'-.~;O;;;;;:;:;"""'«:;W> qa September 9, 1992 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 5 Memo from the Editor and the Publisher.. , Observed at the A2 Art Fair On behalf of the editorial board of to the R ev iew' s MTS conference, Right: This hapless chap had been the Michigan Review, we are honored to MREV:FORUM? And no, it's not just a selling unauthorized T-shirts until announce that this academic year with bunch of conservatives shooting off their they were confiscated. Asked be the Review's first as a weekly publica mouths - there are plenty of liberals, whether he believed in free enter tion. For some of you, that is a welcome, and others, too. With the New and Im prise, he replied, "No comment" if regrettably belated, announcement. For proved Code standing at Draft 10.2, the Below: Whatagreatplacetospread I others, we're certain that the opposite presidential elections around the comer, the socialist message! Amidst hun- I holds true. Too bad. and the regents raising tuition by almost dredsof artists and craftsmen who On the egalitarian side, of course, ten percent, it may well be even livelier produce and sell their wares to we'll be providing you all with the same than before. To newcomers and veterans bourgeois consumers for a profit! thing - the opportunity to "enjoy" more alike, welcome. Revolution, where hath thou gone? timely coverage of campus affairs and But back to becoming a weekly pub the issues that they bring to light. Al lication. For fans and foes alike, there is though regular readers will have noticed really only one question at stake, and it is a few alterations to the paper's format, the same one that reared its head in early rest assured that much has remained con 1991, the last time the Review doubled its stant. frequency (from monthly to fortnightly): Your feedback, however, whether it Does this mean that we will now be twice be general or niggling, is of great impor as offensive as we used to be? As always, tance at this juncture. So write us at your we will let you, the reader, be the judge of convenience to let us know what topics that.~ you would like to see covered more thor oughly, which opinions you agree with or reject, or whether knowing that we'll ( be cropping up twice as often just annoys you to no end. t%vt~·. Our transition to a weekly publica ,,4' tion schedule also affords those of you who are sympathetic to the Review an opportunity to become involved with the paper. If you are new to campus and interested in what we have to say, then at FIRST CONGREGATIONAL least satisfy your curiosity - stop by one Delta Kappa Epsilon of our weekly meetings (Sundays, 7 PM, CHURCH Stale & William St. Te!ephone . 662-1679 third floor of the Michigan League), look OOONESBUAY by Garry Trudeau for us at Festifall on September 18, or give Rev. Terrv N. Smith. Senior Minister us a call at 662-1909. Dorothy L Lenz. Assistant Minister IIHIM. 'ItlI/1INr IN/iIln) If you have considered joining in the 11 USC! 'DJ«Jr past but have instead chosen to pass your f , free time in some other fashion, perhaps Communion in Douglas Chapel it is time that you ga~ writing, research ing, photography, graphic design, ad Mav l-Sept. 1 - 9:30 a.m. Sept. l-Apr. 30 - 10:00 a.m. sales, book and music reviewing, or edit ing a chance. Heck, it's a new year, and your academic burden doesn't seem too unwieldy .. . yet. If none of the preceding suggestions Worship Service & Church School sounds appealing, then why not signon May l-Sept. 1 - 10:00 a.m. i Sept. I-Apr. 30 - 10:30 a.m. WANTED: Douglas Memorial Chapel Open Daily for Meditation FALL INTERNS FOR Church School- :'lursery through Sr. High MACOMBILANSING (Mid-StpL.~tid.Jlllltl Summer Activities· :'lursery through third gndt OFFICE OF GOP STATE REP. Office Hours Rush a REAL Fraternity. Sept. I-Mid-June· 9:00 a.mA:OO pJIL,ll-Fri. )(ld-June-Sept.l.8:30 ...... 1%:30 PJR .. lI.fri. Unpaid, Credit Available RUSHaKE Call 517-373~843 It 1004 Olivia •.. " ._~_ .. ".w",_ .. ~ .. _:_ ~ •. __ •.. _ .•.m. ~ _ -" H "_ •• "'''.~~'''~''''''_ ' __' '_' • • ''_' "'''~'_. _ __ '''''''''''''''~''''''''''~ _ ''~II_~~ 6 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW. September 9, 1992 ~• . " • ill'" Parting Shots ••• We most major American universities, each according to his need," came from One Last Time: Need a Core! scrapped any semblance of a core cur the U.S. Constitution. It's no secret that by John J. Miller riculum in favor of a sprawling smorgas. all levels of American education stink, People always argue that one of the bord of options. While this is on the sur and nobody can claim that the U-M hasn't chief benefits of attending a large school face appealing, it does not serve students contributed to the widespread decline. like the University of Michigan is the vast well. Instead of gaining a grounding in What the U-M needs most is a sub range of curricular choices available to Western thought, American history and stantial core curriculum which requires students. No matter what tickles one's government, and the fundamentals of students to study the underpinnings of fancy - a detailed survey of Spenser's scientific knowledge, students are invari American democratic capitalism, its most . Faerie Queene, a starter course in the ably pulled toward the trivial, esoteric thoughtful detractors, and the scope of Ojibwa language, or the advanced study comers of some professor's hyper-spe the human condition. Right now, stu of color theory - the U-M's course offer cialized research interest. One can gradu dents who look can find a good educa ings can satisfy. Guidance counselors ate without having acquired the learning tion at the U-M; the problem is that they typically sing the virtues of this enor that ought to come with a college educa actually have to search. mous academic menu which allows stu tion. dents to pick and choose what they think The National Endowment for the Hu will best nourish their minds. Sure, a few manities conducted a comprehensive John J. Miller graduated from the U-M distribution requirements must be met, survey of college seniors in 1989 and in May with an honors degree in En but they won't get in the way of free . discovered that, among other atrocities, glish. He is now a reporter for The New J wheeling intellectual exploration. fully 23 percent thought Marx's phrase, Republic in Washington, D.C. That's too bad. The U-M has, like "From each according to his ability, to ..,----" " I'" - ~ fessor, trying to be helpfuL told me that a the classroom, however, is almost always The Academics of Reality ..~ good way to calm jittery nerves was to relevant to reatlife. What's more impor- drink 1/3 of a beer just before the exam. tant, knowing the derivative of sin x + by Brian Jendryka ago, I was taking a math class. I had (It had occured to neither of us at the time .,.,3x2 or knowing how to pour a Pschor Let me start with a story. Two years bombed the first exam, so my math pro- that maybe it was my math skills, and-nOl -- Brau Weisse beer? And would you have test-taking skills, that were suspect). ever discovered so fine a brew if you had Regardless, I followed his advice, and all spent all of your time studying deriva- I got for my four ounces of beer at 8:00 AM tives? was a headache and another C-. In short, you don't want to leave the What does this mean for you? The University of Michigan with just a di- single most important thing to know ploma and a pretty good grasp of differ- when coming to an institution of higher ential equations. Think of how sad you education like the University of Michi- would be if, ten years from now, your SUN DAY MONDAY ~ ''7ffi'ImT, . ~ ~ ~ gan is to accept absolutely nothing on roommate died, like in the Big Chill, but 3 blind faith - or visionary faith, for that you were all by yourself in a comer at the 00 0 1 9:00 9:00 9. .0 0 9:00 . 9:30 12:10 ~ 9:0'f0 'f0 'f0 10 10 ,.0 matter. Whether the information is from funeral home. Not only would it be ten 5:00 1:00 1:00 1:00 1:00 1:00 6:00 the Daily, President Duderstadt, or even years too late for a free 4.0 for that semes- the Michigan Review, don't believe a word ter (which, by the way, is a big lie), but 01.' 1' \-_ " 111' '.r_ "1 ' ).'11' , •• : 111:." ' 1l/I I'!\"- mE unless you can justify it for yourself. you also wouldn't get to sleep with your 9:30 ' 9:30 ,:30 : , :30 ,:30 1,:30 9:30 The other single most important thing dear friend's wife, because you wouldn't 'f0 ,.0 10 "{O 'fO 10 ,.0 to know (OK, so there are two Single have any dear friends, because you were 6:30 6:30 9:00 9:00 9:00 1:30 6:00 most important things to know) can be always studying integrals when every- summed up with the best - and worst- one else was going out for late night NDAY MONDAY TUESDAY \IIEDNESDAY THURSDAY ... mE thing my father ever told me pertaining snacks at the Brown Jug or Ashley's. 11 :00 ,:30 , ,.·30 1:30 , 9:00 9:00 : 9:30 •. to college. He told me that when he was But as I said earlier, don't ~=~.... c_ _ ~-- 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 interviewing for a job, "nobody ever just believe this because you're 5:00 ,:30 ,:30 , :30 1:00 1:00 5:00 looked at my grade point average." Now reading it on the pages of the maybe that's a load of dung and maybe it Review. You can't believe ev- isn't, but for an impressionable young erything you're told. Come to freshman looking for a way to minimize think of it, maybe my father studying, it was gospel. In other words, told me that grade point aver- don't let college get in the way of your age thing because he graduated education. with a degree in engineering, Yes, the diploma is important, but which is infinitely more mar- Main Bookstore: you need to get a good education along ketable than an English major ... 549 East University with your diploma - and that doesn't Art/Engineering Store and necesSarily mean good grades. With the Brian Jendryka is a fifth year Electronics Showroom: '5 exception of abnormal psychology, senior in English and econom '117 South University Phone: 313·662-3201 bartending (so you can pour your pre ics and an editor emeritus of Monday-Friday 9:00-6 :00 exam beer) and other classes that you the Review. He is adversely Saturday 9:30-5 :00 will need to deal with society, reality /life affected by entropy every Sunday Noon to 4:00 skills play a very minor role in most single day. liberal arts classes. Learning outside of "~_;;;;,;"" ______,~",,,,_\~~,,,,,_~,,,,,,,,~,,~,, ",*,,,,,,"n"'''''''''''''''' ''''''__ ~'''' 'f1ilM' ''!l:1'II September 9, 1992 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 7 \-: ,> 'i~' .. . and Opening Volleys ates a nominal monetary cost with a given Dining at the Free Lunch Cafe service, the mere provision of that ser vice consumes resources - perhaps by Adam DeVore provided for free - presumably by the . medical, perhaps architectural, perhaps "Free Abortion on Demand," read a Government or its designee. educational. Whoever the prOvider, the hand-lettered poster adorning the Na A moment's reflection reveals the requisite resources need to be purchased tional Women's Rights Organizing fallacy implicit in such twaddle. The most or produced. Either alternative entails Committee's booth at the Art Fair this essential (but perhaps least obvious) sense costs; but when the Government is the summer. Free? That word gets bandied in which no service can be free is that of provider, every taxpayer bears these around rather loosely in this town, al opportunity cost. Even if the service pro costs, regardless of whether he qualifies though sometimes it parades in sheep's vider does not charge his "patron" for for the "free" service. clothing. One perpetually hears activists services rendered, he still incurs the cost Whatever your personal opinions of one stripe or another proclaim that (economic or otherwise) of haVing fore may be regarding the public dole and the everyone has a right to hOUSing, medical gone other activities. Other potential con propriety of Government coercion as a care or a college education. Those who sumers also lose the opportunity to em means for subSidizing the poor, don't let cannot afford such commodities and ser ploy him. activists' rhetoric beguile you: No ser vices deserve them anyway: HOUSing, . More palpable costs also make vice can be "Free ... on Demand." post-secondary education and medical unfathomable the concept of providing Adam O.Vore is a senior in philosophy care, among other services, are rights, free services in a world of scarce resources. and Spanish. not privileges. They must, therefore, be Whether or not the Government associ- .... seldom concerned with the legitimacy of ten impeded by the whining of an unruly Right Over Might your cause or its consequential infringe mob or the unaccountable, low-profile ments on liberty. The game is repuatation, functioning of the U- M bureaucracy by Andrew Bockelman which is why you must whine loudly. during the summer months. In "Tales of a Wayside Inn," The most glaring example occurred As long as rambunctious rabble rous Longfellow offered this timely aphOrism: in the late 1980s, when a few students ers are allowed to take advantage of the " All things come round to him who will turned some unfortunate instances of administration by striking fear into its but waiL" Under most normal circum racism into an opportunity to advance heart and wallet, administrators cannot stances, his observation rings true. At the their radical agenda. Contrary to their be expected to legislate according to rea University of Michigan, however, cir claims, their plan wasn't going to elimi son. Appearance-preserving, piecemeal cumstances are far from normal. nate racism, but only cover it up. The solutions rarely solve, but often exacer At the U-M, all things do not neces resultant public relations fiasco managed bate, that which they seek to rectify. sarily come to those whose arguments to make national headlines, and as soon have substance. In fact, a more appropri as the public heard about "racism at the So while we would all be better ate King James Duderst"dt version of University of Michigan," the administra served by prudently and maturely seek this popular postulate might read: II All tion acquiesced to the political doctrines ing cures for the problems that afflict our things come round to him who will but of the vocal few. community, many find it easier, and more whine loudly enough." The administration must not pander politically expedient, to pressure the ad Want something from the adminis to those who prefer making noise to of ministration into distributing mere tration, say a speech code? Just chain fering thoughful arguments. The legiti Band-Aids. So let us hope that this year Andrew Bockelman is a sophomore in yourself up to the Dude's desk and call macy of protestors' claims - not to men the administration sides with reason, economics and an executive editor of up a few reporters. Make the administra tion "progressive" administrators' - however unpopular that may be. Let us the Review. .. tion look bad, and it will cave in. It is must be questioned. Such scrutiny is of- hope that all things come round. No Compromise, No Progress There is precious little cooperation see on this campus is the inevitable prod by Tony Ghecea political bickering outside of Washing in Ann Arbor; disagreement abounds. In uct of political polarization: a place where ~, Welcome to the ton, D.C. place of rational debate and negotiation, everyone wants to help, but virtually no jungle. Yes, the jungle You see, everyone in Ann Arbor has Ann Arbor's political climate promotes two groups are willing to work together. that's probably the mild the answer. Not just one answer, but a thinking with prejudiced caricatures: So have an open mind, and keep your est name I can think of for whole agenda for saving the world with conservatives are reactionary good-ol' grain of salt handy -:- people here would Ann Arbor, and certainly a little ingenuity and one good protest boys who want to constrain everyone's rather convert you than teach you to the most telling. Ann Ar march. Sometimes it seems like everyone rights; liberals are left-wing 1960s throw think for yourself. Whatever you do, be bor is four, maybe five, has the same goal in mind and that if backs who want government funding for part of the solution. The problem is big years of hard work and they'd all just put their heads together homosexual art. The truth is likely some enough. fun in the strangest (albeit they would almost surely succeed. But a where in between. most endearing) town in strange thing happens to most well: .. While having opinions is almost a Michigan. Your time in meaning students in town. It's called prerequisite to being alive - and cer Tony Ghecea is a junior in English and Ann Arbor will also ex politics. That's when everyone puts their tainly to living as a social animal- un an executive editor of the Review. He is pose you to a nearly lethal heads together and comes away with willingness to compromise can be the sick of Ann Arbor divisiveness. dose of the most fruitless headaches and lumps. death-knell of progress. What you will ,~ , __ _' L_ ,..,,,,~.,.. ~,, .. ,.,,,,,,,,,, .... ,,,,,,~ ..,~ .,,,,,","", ' '''''''''' '''''''''~''''~_ '''''' . ~ '''-''''';-""'...... """"""' ...... ~ "'~""$. _~~~~~~ '. 8 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 9, 1992 Tuition Increase The'13rady Bunch Revisited .. Continued From Page 1 On the cost side, for instance: Growing Up Brady Marcia (Maureen McCormick). Here, as the cute, lisping, lIyoungest one in • The U-M has been establishing ties Barry Williams with Chris Kreski Williams teases us along by breaking the curlS/I not the Jack Daniels-drinking, with some universities in South Africa to HarperPerennial saga up into three chapters. After finally cigarette-smoking Susan Olsen whom work on student and faculty exchanges, Softcover, 286 pages convincing himself that they weren't re Williams says hated the goody-goody a program with a price tag of $1 million, $10.00 ally siblings, the relationship finally blos Cindy personna. according to the University Record. The somed on location in Hawaii: "I had to Similarly revealing is Robert Reed's U-M is dose to an agreement with the by Brian Jendryka kiss her, but at the same time, I was (Mr. Brady) story recounting how he used University of Durban, Westville to begin Let me admit something at the out terrified that she might reject my ad to throw parties on the set where every a program in public policy to help the set. When I was growing up, we used to vances. My stomach churned as I made one would end up getting drunk, racing transition to a government with black play "Brady Bunch." Not just watch it small talk and thought about kissing my golf carts, and llboffing secretaries.'1 Even participation. Charles Moody will be tak mind you - though we did that, too 'sister.' 'Why not,' I rationalized. '1 mean, more shocking are Reed's recollections ing over full-time responsibility for this but actually play it. It just so happened if millions of young guys all over America of shOWing up drunk for the show's tap project when a successor is found to fill that our neighborhood gang of kids con find Mo attractive, why can't I? After all, ing. Or, better yet, Marcia and Jan trying his current position of Vice-Provost for sisted of a group of six - three boys, we're not really related.'" - Chapter 10, to sneak onto the set bra-less. Minority Affairs. three girls, just like the Bradys. I don't "On the Make for Mo" Most of the book, however, is about .The Target of Opportunity is a five think we recreated any actual episodes; 3.) The other incestuous Brady rela Barry himself - his childhood, his acting year-old program designed to attract it was kind of a free-form Brady Bun~ tionships: Peter (Christopher Knight) and career, his flings with McCormick and minority faculty to the U-M which has All I can remember is that the game ~ Jan (Eve Plumb), and yes, even Cindy Henderson. and even the time he showed been allocated another $1 million dollars most invariably ended with Peter and (Susan Olsen) and Bobby (Michael up to taping high (chapter 17, IIOne Toke of "base funding.1/ Under this program, me (Bobby) flushing our play Ehone Lookinland), making out in Tiger's dog Over the Line") according to the budget, II as many as 22 down a pJ.a¥ toilet solely to upset Jan and house. He does, however, give a good ac new minority scholars" may be added to Marcia: ... Greg also gives us the inside scoop count of some of the behind-the-scenes the U-M's payron. The Br~s are - whether we want on the special episodes (Hawaii, Grand goings-on; like the battles Reed had with .The recruitment of senior women to admit it or not - a part of our genera Canyon, King's Island), the Brady se the show's producer Sherwood Shwartz faculty, those higher than assistant pro tion, which probably explains the book's quels ('The Brady Bunch Hour," a Donnie . over the absurdness of some of the scripts fessorships, has also received increased rapid rise on the best--seller charts. What and Marie-esque variety show th'!llastea'" or how the Brady's singing road show funding in what Whitaker referred to as . child of the seventies wouldn't want to seven weeks; l'fhe Brady Brides," based ultimately led to their undOing as a IIfam- "topping off." This program, combined read a book with a picture of Greg and on Jan and Marcia both getting married ily.I' . with the Target of Opportunity Program, Marcia smoocl).ing, right there on the and which only lasted 13 weeks; the ill The book doses with a "where are could put the U-M in a bidding war for cover, just above the picture of the Brady fated ''Bradys," a family-reunion-type they now'1 chapter that gives fans a glow faculty, Whitaker admitted, but he nev kids decked out in fringed polyester bell- show that lasted only six weeks, and the ing ember of hope for maybe just one ertheless defended the U-M's policy, bottoms? . two hour" AVery Brady Christmas.") more Brady reunion. All in all, you can't noting that, "Everybody else is doing Despite everything you've heard Although most were huge flops, "A Very buy a more groovy read for your ten it." As the Review reported in March,the about the book - Greg and Marcia as a Brady Christmas" was the second high clams. cost for the recruitment of senior women couple, Greg and Mrs. Brady as a couple, est rated TV movie of 1988, which gives faculty is ~pected to be between $200,00 etc. - perhaps the most remarkable thing Brady fans hope for the future. and $500,000 per year, although Mary is that it actually took two people to write Perhaps the most valuable part of Brian Jendryka is a fifth year senior in Ann Swain at the time said that these it, i.e. that Barry Williams couldn't put in Growing Up Brady is the Bradiography English and economics and an editor estimates were like "picking numbers all of the "gonna" "coupla" and "y'see"s at the end of the book - over 100 pages emeritus of the Review. His favorite out of the air." This figure is buried in the himself, but that he actually needed the detailing the plot and other tidbits of episode is the one where Peter breaks current budget along with library acqui help of MfV's Chris Kreski. information of the show's 116 episodes. the vase with a basketball and is haunted sitions "and similar commitments" total It probably took both to create this Here we find the naked truth about the by the phrase "Mom always said don't ling $1.1 million. sentence: "As she stood shimmering in Bradys. play ball in the house." ·The $2.3 million allocation to LSA chiffon, I stood stammering in the door For example, one remembers Cindy to improve undergraduate education in way." Actually, it is kind of reminiscent cludes a $271;000 increase from the state of episode #35, in which Buddy Hinton to provide underclassmen an opportu teases Cindy be<:ause she can't say things nity to be<:ome involved in research. The like "She sells seashells by the seashore." money from the general fund is intended But masterful writing is not what Classes Starting for Fall Exams to encourage development of programs. Brady fans are after. If nothing else, Wil Whitaker added, however, that no pro liams' colloquial writing style does make grams are as yet clearly defined. for easy reading, and that is what is ulti Further provisions were made in the mately important when one is skimming LSAT budget for management changes. through the text, looking for juicy parts Grouped under the title "M-Quality," like: Classes begin: Classes begin: Classes begin: the proposals are meant to reduce "bu_ 1.) Greg's off-the-set feelings for his Wed., Sept. 2nd Sat., Sept. 12th Thur., Sept. 10th reaucratic restraints" and put ma'e power "mom": "Most everybody thinks of Flo in the hands of those who actually are in rence Henderson as the quintessential & Sun., Sept. 13th contact with students. The initiative be television mom, and that vaguely Oedi gan last year and has thusiar not asked pal association seems to have success for student participation. fully inhibited the American public from 996·1500 ever realizing what a totally white-hot ~!ka~tion Joe Coletti is a senior in ARan studies babe she really is." - chapter 20, "Dating 1100 South Uniwniq II\d a COlltributiDg editor of the Rmew. Your Mom" 2.) His relationship with his "sister" '''~',~~~,,,,,,",_~>..... ,,,,______~_,,' ___~<>~' >""",'-~-»>-"''''''''~'---~ II Ai ;;;:::4;) jj September 9, ]992 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 9 " Book Review ~, artin Gardner's Romp on the Wild Side On The Wild Side paper is found to have been based on ous criteria for determining truth, ably thing far more serious motivates his zeal Martin Gardner fraud .... Such was not the practice of Jo- debunks fanciful theories and fabricated ous persecution of pseudoscientific con Prometheus Books seph Banks Rhine./I He goes on to detail results, but cannot convince those who artists. Allowing the parapsychologists, Hardcover, 257 pgs. the body of flawed research, marred by refuse to analyze the factual evidence. creationists, and homeopathologists to $24.95 everything from simple Ignorance, willful and claim theirs as legitimate science sabo chicanery to the willful otherwise, undergirds tages science's ability to advance toward by Adam Garagiola falsification of data, that the sham "sciences" of a better understanding of the truth. One observation that reveals the masquerades as "scien_ charlatans of all stripes. Such superstition is fostered, in part, paradoxical nature of our age is that as tific" evidence support- Gardner finds this most by postmodern thinking, typically a radi science expands its breadth and depth of ing the paranormal. troubling in its impli- cally relativistic world view which de understanding of the physical universe, Gardner's account cations; as technologi- nies the possibility of explaining th~ uni and as society itself becomes increas- of the research meth- cal society evolves, it is verse in objective terms. Postmodemism, ingly technocentric, the embracement of odologies used by critical that people have insofar as it can be characterized as a superstition is on the rise. New Age- para-psychologists the ability to evaluate unified school of thought, contends that style mysticism, ranging from alleged reads like a comedy of scientific findings one's understanding of the universe is so psychic phenomena to ridiculous medi- errors and incompe- knowledgeably. Thus, influenced by one's socio-political mi cal practices such as homeopathy, finds a tence. Inadequately Gardner is at his most lieu that scientific observation can have sizeable, credulous audience in our day. controlled experiments acidulous when deal- only the pretense of objectivity. The laws In On the Wild Side, Martin Gardner provided the opportu- , \ing with those who re- of nature, it follows, are merely a figment champions the cause of rationality and nity for sharpersskiUed l~ntlessly advance of the Western cultural Weltanschauung. defends the essentially objective nature in prestidigitation and the like to demon- , views . ~ompletely at odds with well sup- Postmodem academics might very of the scientific pursuit. With righteous strate their "psychic pOW¢" Even such ported scientific evidence regarding the well dismiss Gardner as a reactionary; zeal, Gardner subjects the outlandish basic considerations as"the effect of ob- nature of the universe. - his belief in the superiority of one episte claims and dubious discoveries of server bias on experiroental...results were In a damning attack on creationism, mology, that of Western science, ~ver pseudoscience to unrelenting scrutiny. often neglected. Gardner sears its leading proponent, any other, is a notion that must strike the Armed with the conviction that the sci- The irresponsibility of Rhine and his Robert Vance Gentry, because he Cannot smug rel~t,i.l4sts as self-deceptive or even entific method is the best way to arrive at fellow travellers is glaringly apparent; explain how the universe was created in motW~ed by ideological malice. Gardner something close to the truth about the even after experimental results published (literally) seven days, without juggling provides a refreshingly commonsensical nature of the universe, Gardner demands in his journal were found to be invalid, fundamental physical laws and postu- counter-argument science has utility not that the claims of the paranormal fringe Rhine failed to retract the articles, and lating a universe with properties radi- because its results conform with certain be subject to rigorous proof under con- made no effort to prevent subsequent cally different than those we observe. culturally-dependent expectations, but trolled conditions. researchers from ' citing the worthless Gardner marshals an array of scientific because the laws of nature have predic Gardner's mission is Wide-ranging findings in support of their own theories. evidence which effectively discredits the tive value in describing the physical 'uni and ambitious. The book's 32 essays are This pattern of improbable theory creationist's "young earth theory,'" verse. drawn from his columns for the Skeptical founded on incompetent research be- against .the Single, inadequately under- The laws of gravity provide a perfect Inquirer (a journal devoted to debunking comes something of a theme in Gardner's stood. geological aberration that, accord- example. While it cannot be denied that the claims of parapsychology and simi- essays. The truth, he would insist, is not ing to Gentry, '''stands like a rock of Isaac Newton's view of the world was larly marginal fields), critiques originally dependent upon widespread belief, but Gibraltar' against the tide of evolution." influenced by his social circumstances, it appearing in the New York Review of Books rather the objective nature of the world, Gardner's critique is convincing in dem- is a fact that the laws of gravity reflect an and various other previously published which can be discerned through experi- onstrating that Gentry's rock is a mere identifiable characteristic of the physical articles. The targets of his vitriolic de- mentation. "Water With a Memory?" is a castle in the sand. world. Gravity functions identically in nunciations run the gamut from funda- critical appraisal of the history of home- Other wild hypotheses receive Simi- principle regardless of whether you are mentalist Christian creationists to opathy that is revealing of both the effi- lar treatment from Gardner's derisive an Indian or a Hungarian, and no matter Gaiaism's advocates, who conceive of cacy and limitations of the scientific pen. Some, like the secrets of the universe how much you try to convince yourself "Mother Earth" as a massive, living or- method. contained .within the divinely transmit- the law of gravity is just the product of ganism. After outlining the hypothesis upon ted Urantia Book, or Cyrus Reed Teed's the rationalistworld~view of a.Dead Gardner's first essay, "The Obliga- which homeopathy is based (briefly, it is hollow earth theory, are so ludicrous that White Male, you will still end up a greasy tion to Disclose Fraud," strikes a strong a th~()ry of medicine that postulates the one ca.t;l imagine Gardner scornfully spot on the pavement if you casually step blow against any daim to legitimacy that curative effects of solutions so dilute that laughing aloud as he writes. At other off the top of Sears Tower. pseudosciences such as parapsychology they theoretically contain less than a times, he assumes the role of investiga- On The Wild Side is a sweeping in might have. Gardner first sets a rigorous molecule of solute) and finding it in total tive reporter and exposes the trickery dictment of the lunatic fringe and their standard: "In a word, a research project contradiction with established principles behind psychic phenomena like teleki- preposterous claims. Gardner's skepti in ESP does not become of conclusive of biology and chemistry, Gardner docu- nesis and Permanent Paranormal Ob- cal inquiry is a reassuring testimony to scientific importance until it reaches the ments the experimental results which jects. the efficacy of rational, objective obser point at which even the greatest will-to- underlie its widespread popularity in The most Significant essay in the book vation and experimentation in arriving deceive can have no effect under the France and India. His account details is perhaps "Relativism in Science," in at a consistent and accurate picture of the conditions." He then focuses on the sloppy procedures and biased reporting, which Gardner refutes the claims of universe. crooked practices of Joseph Banks Rhine, and reveals a blatant conflict of interest science's detractors, pointing not only to a former editor of the Journal oj Parapsy- among the members of one research team. science's utility in explaining the physi- chology. In spite of all the evidence against it, cal ~orld! but alsoto its ability to subject Adam. Garagiola is a senior in compara Gardner opens with a characteristi- hom~opathy still has its ard~nt adher~ '. finc;li l1gs .tq, scrutiny and verification .• tive literature and aeative writing and cally blistering assault: ''It is customary ~nts, and Gardner assures us that the .' WhileC;¥.f!n,er maintains thath~ is inter- . the literary e4i!9..~~f, tl\';:.Rro.ew..,,"_ .,. "" among editors of scientific journals to let", itqriyof all this. is not lost on his readers';: est~d in frillge, ~encejn the same ,way their'readers know whe~ . ~ pu~I~~~~~.;~• .:;~~~~~l~t,~r~~~~. m~~~~W~~~tBfPJ1~' th~t ~n~ might, ~njoy. f,reak sho~: . ~~e- · : ' 7, .• l e'l ,,~ , ~ , rtl ,. )..H '~r" "'i"A' (. 'I ~ 11 \" H"'_' ____ ._,_" .."''' ' ''.,..,'''... " ....'" ''''''''''"..,..,_-.._,_>.'''., ~ " .... ,_ ____.''' .... ''''.~"w" 'WI_ 'M_~~~~"'''' ______10 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 9, 1992 Music • !lI'~ L7: Barstool Humor, Punk-Rock NaIvete by Drew Peters Magic EP. Bricks Are Heavy, L7' s latest commercial effort for the most part. L7, Oew bottles and many a rude jeer, L7 "We were doing our first demo in a release (and first on a major label), was however, has not sold out; their music is sweat, spit and stank like their male breth studio that happened to be owned by Mr. produced by studio-ace Butch Vig as crude and heavy as ever, but the songs ren. Expect the band to return to the Ann Brett. He came in one day, saw us work- (Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana). An are more focused; melody has replaced Arbor area before the year expires. ing and liked what he heard. He liked the MTV video and the Beastie Boys tour are caterwaul; and the guitars have become demo and wanted to put out a record. We presently garnering the band a bit of more upfront and confident. Drew Peters is a freshman in LSA and a were totally jazzed - whether or not we main$tream success. On Bricks, L7 combine the Simplistic staff writer for the Review. were ready to make our first power chord riffing of the record, I'm not sure." Ramones with the sing-a- Such is guitarist! vocal- W,.' long beach-rock vocals of the Newspaper TypesetterI ist Suzi .Gardner's descrip- Go-Gos. Lyrically, L7 cover tion of L7' s first big break. topics all too typical, but they Paste-up Person Mr. Brett, owner of Epitaph do it with a proper balance of Records and a member of the,.;""".l barstool humor and punk':" Small, busy Belleville news hardcore outfit Bad Religion, . . rock naIvete. On "Shitlist," for paper has an immediate signed the California-based instance, Suzi sings, "When I opening for an aggressive, group and took them on the get mad, when I get pissed! I road. Since then, the band grab my pen and I write out a reliable individual willing to has performed with Nirvana, list! Of all the people who work on the Macintosh with Ann Arbor's own Big Chief, " won't be missed! You make various duties. and most recently, the Beastie Boys. In contrast to the group's recently my shitlist." Indie-label diehards caught on to L7 re-release Wendy Carlos high regard. Highlights of the disc in Heralded as Switdaed·On Bach 2000 clude the Air, Preludes & Fugues nos. 2 : .~i: Telarc and 7in Cand E-flat respectively, and the Two Part Inventions in F, B-flat, and ~ by Frank Grabowski O. The After a quarter-century of techno- The longest piece is the. Brand~burg logical advancements and musical de- Concerto no. 3 in G. Although .the vel~ Wendy Carlos, having gained Brandenburg may seem somewhat, con- a better understanding of the composi- servative in comparison to the anarchic Best Pizza tions themselves and undergone a sex- Prelude. inC, it is nonetheless quite de- change operation, once again places a li~tful and a great improvement over new perspective on the music of J. S. her.previousBrandenburgno.3(released Bach. in the lat~ 70's). The orchestration is de- cAround. The early recordings of W~ndy (for- fined with perfect precision and the iIu- merly Walter) Carlos featured the Moog provised Adagio is a satisfying bonus. synthe$izer, a useful but \,lltimately '.The finale, the ever-popuJar TocQlta unelllQti~ instrument.· Switeht&--On&F~$Uein 0, is a proper end to ~ glorij Square. B41Ch (1968), The Well-TemperedSynthe-ou~musical journey. Carlos presents", si ztr, . and the Clockwork Gran ge fi~dandpowerfu1 rendition of.tbis cOIn-. .Central 'Campus soundtrack are all revolutionary in their p($iljem (Originally sco.-ed for Ute pipe · ., North.Campus approaches, but, by today's standards.~lWhich, surprisingly, has ~ JllUch 546 PackardIHiIl .. 927 Maiden Lane are also a bit dry ..tlR~~ted authentic organ. resonance. Carlos' new disc, though~ reaches " ..Although Carlos may, not replace , Pick -up/delivery . Pick~up/delivery phenomenal sonic heights. The tecord- Harn ing technique goes beyond the typical grea~.Bach interpreters of our'time, she ,c DDDproduction to DODD (4--D): No hoJdsner,6wnasamasterofimprovisa- 769.5555 995-9101 microphone is used for making the re- tion an4 variation. Be well aware that cordings. Rather, the composer directly thisalt>umis more than synthesized com- fransfersthe digitized infonnation from . puter music; it is a lively record which her computer to the recorder. This en- present8;a fabulous alternative to t\le tirely di&ital approach """'<'~'_'_~~'-'< ___T""_,,,,,,,, _____,,,,,~·~~_«,"~~~»,,""_, _ ..n·", ~ ,,··~~,,,,,-.,,, " . - ,~,,.,,. . ",~_",_.,,,,,,,,,~,,,,_,,,,_~_", 10'»1'1' _~__ """""""''' ______...... ______'''''_ September 9, 1992 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 11 Music , Y\l,Crusty's Corner by Crusty Muncher were among the more disappointing re Ir------~------, The Michigan Review's Official Guide to I 'Welcome back. There are tons of leases. shows in the near future to keep your Of special interest is the second al mind off the upcoming year. Tickets are bum from the Brand New Heavies, I+avy :Ann Arbor Radio Listening! still availa1?~efor U2's Zoo TV Tour that Rhyme Experience: Vol. I, a superb collec rollsthropghthe Pontiac Silverdome to tion that features live jazzy and extremely TheFM Dial night, the 9th. Primus and Disposable funky old style R&B behind a slew of 87.7 WJIM TV Channel 6 audio (CBS) Heroes of lfiphoprisy (led by Michael today's coolest rappers. Black Sheep, 88.3 WCBN U-M eclectic and diverse programming Franti) will be supporting. Toad the Wet Grand Puba, and the Guru of Gangstarr, 88.7 CIMX Alternative rock "89 X" Sprocket and the Gin Blossoms will do among many others, rhyme over the 89.1 WEMU EMU National Public Radio (NPR), jazz an all-ages engagement at Detroit's St. sounds of live instruments, and take rap 89.9 CBE CBC stereo/ classical & fine arts Andrew's Hall tonight as well. Detroit to heights unlikely to be matched by the 90.5 WKAR MSU classical based country / rock n' roll comedians traditional collages of loops and samples 90.9 WDTR Detroit Public Schools Goober & the Peas play the Blind Pig on ... Rappers EpMd released the summer's 91.3 WerE Classical & fine arts Thursday. Over the summer best single, "Crossover/' and the band released their debut 91.7 WUOM U-M classical & fine arts, U-M football put out a killer album, as did full-length LP, liThe Com 92.3 WMXD Soft urban contemporary ''The Mix" OJ Quik and former 3rd Bass plete Works" and a dance mix 92.5 WVKS Top 40 "Kiss FM" frontman MC Serch, both of of "Funky Cowboy" became 93.1 WLTI Soft pop hits illite FM" whom also utilized live in a local hit. Industrial noise 93.5 WHMI Contemporary pop strumentation on Select tracks makers, Front Line Assem~ 93.9 CKLW Legendary oldies Looks like it's trendy to 94.1 WIBM Western oldies bly perfo~ at St. Andrew's this Thursday. Also look for ' 94.7 WCSX Classic rock mesh polities with main Public Enemy at the Phoenix 95.5 WKQI Adult hits/soft at night "Q 95" stream pop once again. Perry Centet' on September 17, Faith Ferrell spent the summer 96.3 WHYf Top 40 ,.,,<1" ' No More and Helmet at the cashing in on putting the 'hip' 97.1 WJOI Easy listening pop "Joy 97" State Theater in Detroit on back into 'hippie' with his sec 975 WPM Soft pop / MSU football September 24, and Sonic Franti ond successful Lollapalooza 97.9 WJLB Black urban contemporary Youth, also at the State, on October 4 ... tour, while Island Records attempted to 98.3 WTWR Top 40 ''Tower 98" Ann Arbor is hosting a blues and moolah with socialist rap 98.7 WUZ Album rock "Detroit's Wheels" ma~~e.sort\e- 99.1 WFMK Adult contemporary jazz festival this weekend that features pers Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy. quite a line-up of big names and local The Heroes were part of an 'alternative' 995 WOWF Top 40 (may go "young country" soon) talent. Friday, Bonnie Raitt and Katie rap tour that included Arrested Devel 99.9 WKKO Modem country "K-100" On Webster will perform at Crisler Arena, opment and Flint native Me Phi Me. 100.3 WNIC Adult contemporary "FM 100" and on Saturday there will be an entire They are currently supporting labelmates 100.7 WITL Modem country day of blues in Gallup Park featuring the U2. 101.1 WRIF Album rock, classic rock ''The Riff" legendary James Cotton. The Michigan Deee-Lite, the popular dance music 101.5 WLQR Adult pop Theater will host an evening of jazz with trio of poseur hippies, also attempted to 101.9 WDET Wayne State University / jazz & variety Sonny Rollins, and on Sunday night Al cash in on the trend by mixing dippy 102.9 WIQB Rock "Rock 103" Green will headline an evening of soul bohemian slogans with house and hip 103.5 WMUZ, Christian music & news and blues. Tickets at Ticketmaster ... hop grooves on their new album 103.9 WLEN' Country music & variety Infinity Summer saw the release of quite a bit Within. Song titles include "Yote, Baby, 104.7 Wlar Album rock of new material. Noteworthy records in Yote," "I Had a Dream I was Falling 105.1 WQRS Classical ''Timeless 105" cluded the American debut from the con Through a Hole in the Ozone Layer," and 105.5 WWWM Pop hits & oldies temporary reggae group the Wailing "Rubber Lover." Check out the article in 105.9 WJZZ Jazz Souls, the Singles soundtrack, Mark the Clinton-covered Rolling Stone on these 106.1 WJXQ Album rock "Q-I06" Curry's debut, and the first record from enviro-fakes. Is Lady Miss Kier in need 106.7 WWWW Modem country "W4" the Red Devils. The Art of Rebellion from of a foot in the ass or what? 107.1 WAMX New Age & modem jazz Suicidal Tendencies, Joe Satriani's The 107.5 WGPR Black music & news and Yo-Yo's second album Crusty Muncher gets his books for free. 107.9 WCRZ Pop hits & oldies "Cars 108" Extremist, The AM Dial 540 CBEF All French language 560 WHND Oldies "Honey Radio" STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN 760 WJR Talk radiol sports/U-M football On South State near East William .-'" 870 WKAR MSU National Public Radio 950 WWJ All news (CBS) 1050 WPZA News/talk/sports 1270 WXYf News/ talk/ Rush Limbaugh Tour t-shirts New Posters: 1310 WMfG Motown oldies Sunglasses Chili Peppers 1370 WSPD News/talk/Rush Limbaugh 1440 WMKM Black Gospel Jewelry Jane's "' 14&l WSDS Country 1600 WAAM Standards I newsl talk and more' .CanpiIed by Art Vuolo, Jr., President of The Radioguide PeqlIe,Inc:. (313-355*0022). Descriptions are tentative. IS _tim format. vary over tUne. Reception of some stations is greatlyaffeded by the type of nceiver,lIty&e of ..tem.. elevation and IIWIOUndins terrain. FM list is comprehensive; AM lilt 1IIi ______IIIIl,__ ,..,..,... , __ ...... 1Ielect1tatioM onlv. ' .I Open daily 1 lAM - 7PM • Noon· 6PM Sunday • 994·3888 -11 - ...... "- --,,~,-,~-=_~,~_~,.._w>"""''''~,,»>>>''' .. ''''''''''''''''''''''''·,_'''__ .'"''''''' __~ _ _ ~w''''~ ~ ,.. -.------~------ 1 , :' ' ,' , , .( \ ( / ~ I "\ '!; 'if , , I , ' A /'11., I l',~~ I, -,> ( - - - , . - ~- - .•~ ~\ -~ - t1@;~~1 ICTI{> Nj\~~ .' When ever th~ ~ Lollege life:crams your schedule beyond cooking, call---Domino's Pizza for a great meal at a great price delivered in 30 minutes, guarant~ed! 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