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SPECIAL f 1-/\,fURt I TOWNSHIP J I V' E ,Manifesto32 PAGE EXTRAVAGANLA

·Home, S' Home On lbe , ,{l Bencb· 'fIWJw' POETRY BY PAUL WEINMAN . Lettuh from da Edituh Welcome to the 8th semi-regular In- I average of 4 classes held at our fine Uni­ thored editorial work. The difference The last issue, sex roles, structor Evaluation edition! -Each time versity. The reporters were asked toevalu­ between the comments printed in the generated a lot of mail. we publish this collection of sometimes ate the instructors on the "basis of teach- Evals and the letters on a real newspaper's Requests from out-of-state brutal, sometimes ing ability, pro- editorial page is that we grant anonymo­ Monkey fans for a copy fartciful comments, MASCULINE FEMININE fessionalism, ana nity in the hope of receiving greater ob­ tripled to 43. I never realised just how an argument ensues ~- accessibility." - jectivity from a "reporting staff" not con­ well the word SEX attracts attention... as to A) whether or In the interest cerned with faculty retribution~ or being and just how many ways people can view not the results are of fairness, some branded a trouble-maker. basically the same physical thing. statistically accurate, reporters were The Instructor Evals are a powerful This issue is also a first! The Lame B) whether we are •• "assigned" to and necessary forum for the student's voice Monkey and Township Jive have con­ doing an injustice to evaluate the to be heard. In my own experience at solidated efforts to produce a Monkey­ professors who get same class, but, UTK, I feel that the evaluation forms Jive issue. 32-pages of the two largest trashed by the single These sizes were chosen in the interest unfortunately, given out by the universi ty are seen more ~ndergrounds inKnoxville, back to back. of symmetry and are not meant to be a rna 1content. standard for comparison. neither inter! many of the asa tri-mesterlyformality as opposed to a I'd like to thank all the undergrounds that So this time, as we intra-sexual or personal; these abstract classes were vis- self-analysis tool for a: department to have been published in Kville over the began planning for organs are fictious and are not meant ited and com- improve i tself. Too often the voice of the years and the people behind them who to represent any individual human, this issue, we decided subculture or majority, or the organs mented upon by , consumer, the student, the reason for a did the work. If things are gonna change, to conduct our -sur- affixed therewith. only a single university to exist in the first place, is they've got to start somewhere ... with veys "differently." In "reporter." ignored in favor of tenure politics, beuro­ something to say and a way of saying it. order to amass the some 350 entries, we Our reporters were sometimes accu- cratic shuffling, and the good 'ole boy Silence is dangerous. Vive la press! "hired" 163 students who offered to vol- ra te, someti mes biased, bu tour resul ts are network. Andthatiswhy the Lame Mon­ Enjoy! unt,:er their services and report on an at least as valid as that of any single-au- key persists ... Lettuhs to da Edituh DEAR MR. MoNKEY. way amusing or enlightening. Imagine if Theme for Next Issue: I found out something interesting you had been raped by your father and you our home, we could not return the pizza to today. I t takes exactly the same number of read that. Imagine if you were a Catholic, you (it was raw dough underneath the Racism anti-fur protesters to screw in a light bulb had been raped by your father, and read lovely cheese and peppers), Therefore, I If You've Experienced Arrt Form of Bigotry at UTK as it does anti-abortion protesters. that. The imagery of the story is in no way am sending you -a sample of the crust for or defend rociol supremacy or seporotism, we need Sincerely, supportive of the hundreds of thousands your examination. The cost of the pizza , you to write. Anooymonity Guarenteed. Leo Fisher of women that are raped and abused each was eleven dollars and thirty cents. I ' Call 525-8243 or send stuff to address below ------...:....:-- year in the U.S. (We cannot imagine you cannot remember if the delivery charge WRITE FOR THE LAME MONKEY LAME MONKEYS: representing an article about a lynching was included in that or not. The Lame Monkey prints luttuhs . Asls'; we do not Thanks you for sending me all those of a black man in the South in the sam,e I am writing to you because we still change a won! unless absolutely necessary (changes issues of LMM. way you presented the rape ofSt. Vibrissa hope that people will treat otherS with denoted by [brackets]). If you have any comments regarding The LarneMonkey, please write: Lettuhs, Now let me tell you what your paper in the story). We are creative enough to fairness. My hopes have not been realized c/o The Lame Monkey Manifesto, P.O. Box 8763, needs. Your paper needs more dicks. In slam Christianity (or anything else for _very often. Knoxville, TN 37996-4800, / every issue ofLMM that I have seen there that mat!ter) without resorting to misog- Yours truly, Names are withheld by request. _has been at least one titty, but never any ynv. I Cynthia Hermann 81228104 dicks! Thanks for nothing, UNDER PENALTV OF LAW Women Who Hate Sexism in the Guise DEAR MONKIES:: Lets have some weenie action in the THIS TAG NOT TO BE REMOVED next issue. of Leftism A friend of mine says that the cover of EXCEPT 8Y THE CONSUMER Sincerely, the last issue (sex roles) was about homo­ Jackalene Arthur DEAR MR. MASK: sexuality, lesbianism in particular. ALL NEW MATERIAL CONSISTING OF P.S. I'm not sure what I mean by this, Last night I could not find my Dom­ I say it's a satire of male-created stere­ do this: jerkoff3 times onto this letter and ino's coupons--so my children suggested otypes of women. It would sorta fit with gaze into the puddle until you are. that we try Mr. Gatti's pizza. We ordered the theme, no? double cheese and green peppers. Well, what was it about? This publication NOTIFICATION IS To THE EDITOR: When it arrived, it looked lovely. Inquiring mind, protected by copyright. ~!~mE Regarding your vol. 4 #21 edition, we When we tried to eat it, our smiles faded. John Burnam All rights reserved, SUBMfITED AND mE in the feminist movement have decided © 1990 OPINIONS EXPRESSED N C S BY INCLUDED that your magazine isas radical and uplift­ 1-1-;"£ II( , . tamp WRITERS I ARTISTS ing to women as Penthouse. If on the Hff:L..SI If KI Exemption No, 45 ARE TIIEIR OWN cover you were trying to make the point MADE BY that lesbianism should be open and un­ METAMEDIA repressed (at least that is what we are P. O. Box 8763, Kno~ville, TN 37996-4800 assuming), you could have chosen hun­ (615) 525-8243 dreds of more appropriate and less am­ Editor: Rev, Dr, NEK'ln Fleshbisui~ C,S.G., V,S.C. biguous images. The images represented LayoutJDesign: Nelln; Orig, Design: Chris Gray are very stereotypical views of how soci­ Cover: Nelln ety'views "woman" (the "thin and cute" Proofreading: Mr. Macintosh & friend younger ,woman and the "matronly" Distribution: Bob Melkins .mother figure). Furthermore, we resent Ad Sales: Jim Bacon the implication that mothers are always Facilities: Universal Printing Company playing the oppressor's role (woman did Press: Knoxville Printing & Publishing not. invent Christianity, women did not Print Run: 7,000 copies build the patriarchy ). Mothers are simply Cost: Distributed free at area locations OR $1 by token torturers of our society, enforcing mail in plain brown wrapper. All back issues avaUable, ' rules that they did not create. Secondly, Hall '0 Fame: Ian Blackburn, Bob Daedalus, your story of St. Vibrissa (although satiri­ Lance Bledscoe, Paul M" ChristopherG, cal} was hardly amusing. Although slam­ Special Thanks: WHliam Calaman ming Catholicism was the target, there is FEDERAL REQUIREMENT no reason to reinforce i~ages of sexual l­ Filling: Ad conlelltlelS than 13% f violence against women. These images of Un1na: 100% Unsolicitatcd, Submit your wen r sexual violence (the father 'killing 'his Advertillng: Very Affordable, Call S25-8243. wift;! and raping his daughter) are in no ...... ;..----~------~_--~~.;...~::;....;::::::::::::::ri:....--...:...J Lame Monkey ProduCII Identification Act RN 37230 l ,--.,..;.:--:--~--:---:------~----~------~~' ~-~~~~"";'~ ~' --.-~ - -- -~-- --" ' --~'-'--- - " Welcome to the Instructor Evalu­ ACCOurtTIrtG "Great class. He runs his class like stuff ."_"Klippellooks so much ations of Spring Semester 1990. For the 201 Prio of Financial Accounting the backroom of Long's Drug like Sean Connery 'that it is uninitiated, this survey represents the Finch 1 4.00 I Store." sometimes truly frightening." "His , "Gives very good explanations. humor escapes me- and the rest responses of students who stopped by our ANIMAL SCIENCES Makes class a lot of fun. Willing of the class." polling booth and evaluated their in­ 241 Breed Farm Animals to work individually." M4 521 Malecology structors "on the basis of teaching abili ty, SmallinglFuller 1 1.00 ~ ' Hughes 2 2.50 tY Parmaless 1 4.00 professionalism, and accessibility." "Need some organization, guys. I "This course is way too hard!" "Sorry, it's the last class he's Every effort has been made to confirm . Really monotone. Could you try to "Really helps you understand going to ,teach." course information and name spellings. If make it fun?" , material. Always available to help. there are mistakes, we beg forgiveness. If 330 Animal Nutrition ARCHITECTURE Give him A+ even though I only you have received a poor review and are Barth 1 0.00 232 Intro into Arch Tech got a C." M4 disgruntled, we invite conflicting' com­ "A mad, Hessian massochist Holsaple 1 3.00 tV LetSinger 1 .. 0.00 ments or reviews for our next issue. £. who'd love to screw his poodles." 271 Arch Design I "The man might as well be talking M4 A Point ofWaming: This ~urvey is not , 481 Beef Prod & Manage Kambo 1 3.00 .tY to a wall; extremely boring." statistically accurate. There is no way we Waller/Boehms 1 4.00 I 202 Prin of Managed Accounting f.iih can say that, "accurate to ±3%, Instruc­ "Boehms is grumpy but genuinely ART '- Albright 1 4.00 ' ~ 103 Studio Fund: 3-D Design tor X is a good teacher," nor do we recom­ , helpful. Course is a lot of BS for "Level-headed, speaks rationally Peacock 1 2.00 ~ mend that anyone prejudges a'course or the time spent Good 'if you really "OK guy, but he didn't provide professor based solely on this informa­ wlo the accounting tenns." ~' like beef." tion. Anderson 1 3.00 ,'r enough guidance & his projects We feel that this survey is useful not Letsinger 1 0.00 AI't,THROFOLOGY were impossible ... or something." because of its flawless precision, but be­ "If he would get his head out of 110 Human Origins 171 Survey of Contemporary Art f.iih cause it's the only information of its kind . his ass maybe someone could " Smith 2 3.00 . Bearor 1 4.00 /M1 available to students. If you would like it show him how to teach!" "Very comprehensive. What he , "She's going to Univ of Houston. to be more reliable-help out, give us a Schnieder 1 4.00 I doesn't cover in lecture, he puts UTK loses yet another!" call. We will do our best to provide survey "If you have him to take the class, on the test." "He's leaving UT." 172. Western Art I forms to, any student or faculty member take him, he's fair." 130 Cultural Anthropology Habel 1 0.00 wishing to distribute them. 312 Intenned Finan Accounting , Howell 2 1.50 ~ "Pitiful. " We admire other university-con­ Turpen 1 2.00• ~ "The dullest and arid lecturer 219 Chinese Painting . ducted ilttt!liIpts towards a more accurate "Great teacher: decides who will ever'" Gau 1 4.00 ~ I ~i~",,,,,,, ... rl"" evaluation process, but by not and won't be accountants." 210 Bio Foundations of Anth "Fun, casual." making the results available except to a 341 Account Information Systems M4 Jantz 2 1.50 ~ 383 Art ofItaly 1475-1575 select few administrators, it offers no Gatian 1 3.00 .tY "A brilliant guy who really can't Habel 1 4.00 l1@ practical assistance to the student. Re­ "She reads good." teach, but it's the loud mouth "No tests. 8 one page papers on member, you deserve to pick and choose: 411 Auditing ignorant baseball cap heads who specific questions. Great!" it's your education, your time and your Scheiner 1 4.00 l1@ ruined this class for everyone! ! !" 392 Film Design M4 money. "He's funny &. can watch TV in "The perfect cure for insomnia!" Livingston 2 2.50 .tY Thanks to all who have participated .class-on the monitors, doesn't 315 Afro-American Prehistory "Nice, good on grades, but and spent massive amounts of time, most grade homework!" Harrison 2 2.00 ~ shouldn't be a film class. He has invaluably William Calaman. Watch for "Horrible." nothing to offer. He's a sculpture A DVERTISIrtG 316 Alcohol Health & Culture man anyway." "Easy, maybe a posters at the end of this next semester for 250 Advertising Principles polling times and placeS ... Harrison 3 0.00 little too laid back." Otnes 2 2.00 ~ "Rambles, mutters, talks down to 489 Special Topics in Art History W, "Rhymes with 'Rich'." "Great class, disorganized & out of it. Roark 1 3.00 ty, How To Use This Information: instructor." 1. The first number next to the In­ Terrible." "An incompetent, "Visiting art historian, so who structor's name is the total number of 360 ~.:!~~tralegi 4.00 ~ unintelligible specimen who cares?" responses we had regarding that prof. represents the words tedious & "Terrific! Always willing to help." ASIAN S11JDIES Remember, the fewer people surveyed, boring better than anyone else." 102 Asian Civilization the more unreliable his/her evaluation. Af'R.o--AMERlCAN STuDIES 362 Early European Prehistory Martinson 2 3.00 J.9' The next number is the Grade Point 201 Afro-American Studies Shimek 1 4.00 ~ 2. "Geeky, but great" ''TOO much of the Instructor. The Plummer 3 - 2.33 ~ "Great guy; gOOd teacher; willing Av~rage Instru~­ infonnation for an intro class." tors were graded on a scale of A-F, where ,"She's got a big '01 butt & a to talk to students & very helpful." 471 Spec Topics: Theatre & Dance W, 'A' is and is The total number of snazzy beret." "Just get her talking 410 Prin Cult Anthro M4 . 4 'F O. Ehrlich 1 3.00 ty these 'quality points' is divided by the about modem race relations." Logan , 2 3.00 .tY "Theatre students theatre class, i.e. total number responses, much like the "Sassy, redundant, a little Black "Can be real funny, but he's an of ,heavy_on tenns, low on way your own GPA is figured. , supremi$t" egoist & sexist; known for relevance." Continued next fX1ge ... 3. The icon graphically represents an 202 Afro-American Studies intimidating people." "The only Instructor's performance (0-.75 Boom!; Hurtsell 1 4.00 ~ person I've ever met who totalled MOM .75-1.5 Bird; 1.5-2.5 Scale; 2.5-3.5 Sex; "Make friend with her and acted his car by driving into a pylon at 3.5-4.0 Beer). concerned = A." Neyland Stadium." WATCHING HOMElESS FAMILY OF 7, WHITE BOY 4. A Bullet (.) after an Instructor's 364 Contp Issues Afro-Amer Ed ' 0 462 Early European Prehistory · f.iih NOTICESTHEY BUY HOT DOGS WITH FOODSTAMPS name means we could not confirm their Hartsell . 1 0.00 * Simek 2 4.00 ~ .:-HOWCANYOU COOK THEM, HE ASKS. WITHOUT teaching this class based on course list­ "00 not subject yourself to this "Creative and wilty, Jan is only AHOME7 .JUST UWATCH ••• ings available to Monkey TN Eval Staff. woman's bori,ng lectures. She has surpassed by Homo ErectuS in 1. they br80k up kiwi fruit boxes for firewood 5. Comments are excerpts from com­ no suucture." appearance and teaching skills." 2. borrow a light from someone going to the theatre ''This guy really has it in for 3. 1158 aerial from BMW to roast dogs ments given by our interviewees and do AMERICAft SnmIES not necessarily reflect those of the pub­ Swedish chicks!:' JUST AS WHITE BOY IS SINGING OPEN HEARTHS, 2 410 Literature & Culture in lishers, etc. 464 Principles of Zooarch POUCEARREST F~ILY & TAKE CAlSUP Contemporary South Klippel 3 3.33 6. Enjoy. Reese, Jack 1. . 3.00 lJ lJ "Fun class: lots of 'hands on OFF KEY Q(>~k1'1 ~ JS-1.5 1'>-2.5 25-3.5 15-4.0 BIOCHEMISTRY 120 Gen Biology 465 Human Genetics Continued from page 3 ... 410 Cell and Comp Biochemistry 0 Hodge 2 3.50 Hapdel 1 4.00 f Joshi 3 0.33 *' "Clear, concise, helpful." "Well "Very profe~ional, excellent "Worse than DEATH. You've done, sometimes too easy, but that teacher." ASTRONOMY been warned." "Expects you lick may be due to dept." 152 Jntro Astronomy his #1 ?-damn, shit-covered butt to Nauman 1 4.00 BOT~ 110 Biology of Plants Martmatz 2 1.00 get a decent grade." "The best there is." Boyle 1 4.00 "Very hard, horrible teacher." 419 Biochemistry Lab 210 Cell Biology ffiih !ill "Fantastic person." :- "Boring. Made me see stars." Jonki 1 0.00 Mullin/Schwarz 2 4.00 ~ 320 Plant Morphology 162 Astro w/Lab "Can't speak english; needs to be "Very together class even though Evans 1 4.00 Reidinger 1 0.00 deported. " divided, both instructors did a I ~·Excellent. " "Memorization ONLY! No Roberts 1 4.00 great job." 330 Field Botany leap1ing required!" "Labs ,too long, nice teacher 220 General Genetics Clebsch 1 . 0.00 though. Hey, what's the Fox 1 3.00 BASIC ENG(l'(EEIlIl'Ki "A semster is a terrible thing to absorbance of liquid paper, "What you learn isn't reflected in 201 Numerical Tech waste, so's your GPA." • anyway?" the grade you receive." . w Arimilla 1 2.00 " ~ 371 Undergard Sem in Bot ffiih Hughes "1 ' 3.00 .t::?" "Tries, but expects too much. 'fflin BIOLOGY Amundsen 2 ~ . 3.50 " 1M' • '''Imagine your favorite aunt Parang 1 4.00 1M' 110 Gen Biology Lab "A good instructor who pulls a lot teaching you.'" "The absolute fastest chalkboard Weeks 1 4.00 of things together." 230 Gen Ecology writer at UT." "Funny, helpful, sounded like 412 Plant Anatomy Drake 1 4.00 Holly Hunter." Heilman 1 "Really good prof ... kinda laid . 3.00 "Fantastic professor; structure in his lecture." 431 Plant Ecology Clebsch 4 3.25 "Human, tolerant.'.l"Boy is she old." "TQO busy, always rushed." "Too much worthless number crunching in 1abs." , BROADcAsTDm 310 Radio News Manning-Miller 2 2.00 ~ 'INice lady, but can't teach. It's like being lost in a desert with a blind tour guide." "ExPects too many stories from a small town like this." 320 Broadcast Advertising Buchman 1 4.00 "Cool guy, but goofy and conceited like Diana Ross." 330 Producing for Radio Pitts . 1 4.00 "Very professional, quite polished. " 420 Broadcast Sales Buchman 1 4.00 "A blast! Smart and cool!" 430 ~~:odUCtiO~ 3.00 ' J.t;J "Patient with idiots; very talented anddreative." T erry 1 '400'. ~ "Super-dooper class. Fun as crap."

BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION 101 Statistics , W Mee 1 3.00 .tY

BUSINESS LAW 301 Legal Environment of BusinessW Bentley 3 3.33 .tY "Frightening the ftrst day to weed out the weak; good." "Separates by participation. Good" 401 Law Bus Orgs & Com Trans ~ ~singale ' 4 2.75 , [Y. "Tests are extremely difftcult (harder than CPA exam). Have to speak up in class or get an automatic D.""Teaches an e~cellent CPA prep course." ... Continued on page 6... they are given knowledge of reality and Words From The Seat: allowed to think for themselves. - The purpOse of the university as a_ Lord Salamander SpeakS! moral force is thus two-fold. First, the university should act as a seed-bed of thought comes, ul'lbidden, todisrurb me: , were a-itching until a cop shows up imd viable revenue-producing notions for the By Elroy Ringwald If George Bush is a brown -nosirig lapdog, ~rooks his finger at the possible drag queen. Corporate World (which is the guardian lame Monkey Stan Infection then what the heck does that make me? Her face lights--up like a pinball machine , of the Good). Second, the university must V - when she sees him and she dashes away in assure thai: the worldview of its students is As a service to UT staffand srudents­ A poignant memory: Piece of cream those high-heeled boots, with every thing shaped toward a pleasantconf~rmity~ith and particularly -to you incoming fresh- - cheese on-Chris Whittle's ruxedo. she's got (and it's plenty) shaking to beat the carefully constructed image of reality men out there-the Lame Monkey V the band. The cop breaks into a sweaty required by our rulers to produce and proudly presents the fatherly wisdom of ' They accuse me of "elitism," because I grin and disappears with her through the retain high concentrations of revenue. our own slightly-balding but well-beloved want to rid the campus_of middle-class backdoor.Thinkingalittlethree-wayac- Eropaganda,intheserviceoftheGood,is Honcho Supreme: Lamar Salamander! dullards in favor of the wealthy and the tion might not be ,so bad, I start to sidle not a dirty word, and we should not be Thoughtful, philosophical, yes; even in­ gifted. They accuse me of "partisanship" over into the booth with Alex and the ashamed to use it. tellecrual, Lamar-whose life-storY may because I champion the mad dog Repub- other woman, when she suddenly gets up, There is a serpent in our Garden of soon become an honest-to-gosh TV sit­ licanism of Bill Bennett and -Lee points toward the back and says, "I gott;l Good, however; that serpent is the so- com!-offers you, his loyal subjects, the Atwater. They accuse me of"greed" go with her. We're kinda like a team." called liberal arts, the "humanities." It is incalculable benefits of his cranial super­ becauseIsupplementmyenormous I~~I Well, don't that beat all, a well-known factthat an earnest pursuit flux. In aphorisms, essays, diary notes, UTsalarywithlucrativesweetheart Afex says, and we pull our of the huma.nities produces a skeptical, and incredibly piercing idle observations, spots on corporate boards. floppy hats down a little far- , inquisitive,andcontemplativemind,one the former Governor of Tennessee and Well, to them I say: What's ther and head out. The sight of that finds it hard to accept the necessary furure Secrernrv ciEducation under Presi­ ~rongwithelitism, partisanship, all those long-legged little trixies propaganda c:>f the Good. The humanities dent Dan Quayle gives us a rare glimpse and greed? Aren't you ,guys traipsing up and the down the infect the innocent srudent with the into the inner gurglings of a soul at the AmeriCan? street is about to shuck my corn, poisons of ambiguity-, complexity, para- seat of power. Here then, from the seat, so to speak, and I'm ready to bust dox, and doubt; they enCourage the use of which, metaphorically speaking, is still "It's not easy being me." Ah c a move on the next babe I run imagination as a tool for sympathetic warm from the weighty presence ofgreat­ yes, how true, how true! I wonder across. Just then one ofthose'damn understanding of others, an understand­ ness, are excerpts from Lord Salamander's who said that? Shakespeare? Tol­ street-cleaners comes by, and our iOg which, iffollowed through to its logi­ newest book, Being, Nothingness, and stoy?Richard Nixon? Or did Ijust floppy hats get drenched and cal conclusion, utterly precludes the Neat SruffLike That (3 worthy follow-up makeitup~MustaskQuinnabout start to really ' aroop. That necessaryexploitation of the otherness of to his last boffo'smash hi t, Six Months Off thi~ - makes it hard to see; we have others for the purposes of propaganda and and Still Counting). V to go on inStinct. So w}:ten I revenueproduction.Thehu~nitiesplay V Alex came by last night, so we bump into something warm the. "devil's advocate" to the single:. Whenever I am asked why I chose to put on our floppy hats and the and squiggly on the corner by minded chorus of the Good; how then enter the honorable.field of public serv­ coats wi th big collars andwent down The Torch, I start wailing on can we allow their continued existence in ice, I always answer that I am glad that I to the Strip. We swung by Victor's it like a house afire. Just as I'm the very heart of our moral force, the was asked that question, for perhaps the place, but he said his floppy hat about to bite into a plump university? greatest joy of any honorable public ser­ was in the washer so hec;ouldQ't ~ juicy neck, the brim of my It is ' therefore my dream (and God vant is the answering ciquestions that he come. I think it was his wife's doing, floppy hat flips up and I see it's the cop grant it may come soon!) to' finally ,and is glad to be asked, as I am glad when I am acrually. That boy is whipped, no doubt from the Longbranch. "Not now, buddy, completely eliminate the "humanities" asked that question, and I hope that I will about it. , I'in too tired," he says. I jump back, ex- from thebody of the university";"so that we continue to be glad to be asked that Anyway, me and Alex stopped at the peeting a nightstick to the noggin, but may concentrate solely on our two-fold question foras long as I have the honor­ Lap first. Not much doing there, except then I see he's cool abo\Jt the whole thing, purpose. Narurally, we might retain those nay, the sacred privilege-to serve the for one Ii me sophomore-looking girl who so I ask, "So was shea drag queen ornotr' few vestiges of the cui rural heritage of public, honorably, by answering all such - kept rubbjng the fuzz on my hat and say­ He gives me another sweaty g.rin and says, human history that can do service to the questions with gladness and honor. This ing, "I can't see your face." I said to her, "I don't know, I neVer got around to that," Good, that is, ruJIl a profi t or prove useful is my pledge to the people. "That's the idea, sweetheart." Meanwhile, then he walks away, limping. - . in our benign propaganda: Pat ~ __ ..'~ --'I---+ _ V ,Alex had cornered some mighty-fine red­ It.looks like an.other wasted night, 'records, for example, or Last night, I awoke with a horrible headed babe in a slinky, sleeveless emer­ Alex says; I wish I was in god damn novels. But otherwise, the humani ties are thought that gave me no peace for almost ald dress, butshe was flashing him the "no Singapore. I nod, take the portable phone simply too dangerous to the ~ealth ofthe~ three or four minutes. Even now, in the go" sign, so we decided to cut our losses from my coat Pocket and call for. the Good. Eventhe tiniest'Bitofart, imagina-' brightlightciday (no, wait, those are TV and move on. Outside the Longbranch, driver to come get us. As the sleek black tion, or free though t can pierce the fa~ade is filming" A Day in we ran into a couple of really down-and­ stretch speeds down Cumberland, I take a that our bette~ impose upon us for our the Life of UTs dirty, good-and-trashy trollops who were last look at all those young flowers offlesh own protection.We, as a uni versi ty, must Renaissance probably older than we were, all done up wafting on their fine, long stems, and I stand up for the Good, for the Light, for Man"), in black leather and ten pounds ofmake­ think,nexttime,littledarlings;,nexttime. the Easy Truth, the Happy Face. The the up, and rwouldn't swear to it but I think V dark, devilish, doubting wisdo,m of the at least one of them was a drag queen, but The universitY J"s an agent of moral humanities must go! . . 'good force in-a world of chaotic ambiguity. V Thatismybelief,myvision,myarti~leof , So how much wood could a wood­ faith. The university, in 'its Platonic es- chuckchuckifawoodchuckco~ldchuck sence, exists in Qrder to organize the wood? Must ask Quinn about this. bewilderingdiversi ty of human existence into rational, ce~tered schemata of NITEY-NITE thought and behavior, schemata directed CUmNG HOLES FOR EYES, MOUTH FROM APAPER i:oward the production of the Good in hu­ BAG WHITE BOY STANDS AT THE DQOR OF NAlL man society. And what is the Good? As TREASURY, PRETENDING TO BE RPRESAS HE HOLDS all reasonable men know, the Good is OUT HAND 4: that which produces' the greatest amount A. 1biitlOIl $ for homeless housing of revenue for the smallest amount of B. 1 bilbon $ for starving Africans people with the least amount of effort.' t 1billion $ for ecologkal repairs Ancillary to this universal T mth is the WHILE COUNTING 7STACKS OF 100$ BILLS, AGUST following indisputable corollary: The f~ OFWIND REVEALS WHITE BOY'S RUSE & THEY TAKE cannot enjoy their privileges if they are MONEY, WARNING WHITE BOY NOTTO TRICKTHEM made to feel bad about them, and the EVER, EVERMORE NO ,TUNE rabble cannot accept their proper place if , . / /

Q~~kl'1 ~ J5-1.5 1.5-2.5 2S-3.5 15-4.0

130 General Chemistry 369 Organic Chern Lab COMJllUrtlCATIOI'fS CHEMISTRY / Bloor 2 2.00 Green 1 3.00 100 Intto to Mass Comm 10 Intto to Org and Bio Chern "Dr. Bloor,would be more "Jim Green has been in one too Caudill 1 2.00 ~ Mamantov 1 / / 2.00 effective if you could hear and many laboratory accidents." "Clueless. 'Oh gosh, am I 120 General Chemistry understand him." , Schell 1 2.00 ~ teaching a class? Tbery're looking Bloor ) / 0.00 Woods .1 1.00 "Doesn't know what's going on in at me, must be. Golly.' If you fail "Lectures for his pleasure, not the "I'd need two pages to tell what's lab." this, you should give up." benefjt of the class." . - ¥" wrong with this sawed off little 400 Communications Law CHILD ArtD FAMILY SnJDms Cook - 1 3.00 · J;y SOB." Bowles 1 3.00 210 Human Development "Probably the best you could 310 Analytical Chemistry Lab . 0 "Great class, but watchout. She's. Smith 1 2.00 expect for a chem teacher." 0 Boywer/powell 1_ 0.00 * a rambler. I took lots of naps." "The TAs (Craig & Jim) are CIVIL ErtGIrtEEKlrtG VanHook 1 0.00 * . COMPU'l'ER ScmrtCE "Boring lecture. Gave exam & lab allowed to run the lab because 555 Public Transit Planning 101 Intto to Programming Using on same day. Stated formula . Sepaniak is always tOO busy with Chatterjee 1 3.00 FORTRAN should be ignore

authority throughout the department, a 312 Intermed Microecon W.'t'. magisterial aura tha.t was especially vivid Ballard 1 3.00 J;y in the offices of that absolutely independ­ "Challenging & demanding & entnewspaper. Kelly; along with Dean of 825 Melrose Place • 546-2550 available for help, but confusing, Something-Dr-Other Phil Scheurer 11-7 Men Thru Thursday, 11-8 Frj & Saturday, 1-5 on Sunday obscure, too." (another man of strong aura, stronger 313 Intermed Macroecon than the smell of skunk roadlcill on a hot Kunkin . 2 1.50 ~ summer's da,y). were wont to issue fre­ "Total SOB. Avoid at all costs." quent messages ofdispassionate guidance ':Better study hard." to the staff of our unyieldingly independ­ 351 Monetary Beon ~ ent newspaper. Kelly~ the old wordsmith, Ganger 1 4.00 ~ preferred the type:"wri.tten note, or some­ "Interesting and up to date." times the red in~-stained annotation of 412 Political Beon of Latin Amer our latest effort; but Phil (ifI may call him Cole 1 4.00 f1@ Phil) employed more indirect methods­ "Not available much, but excellent vague threats transmitted verbally through instructor." Continued on page 15 ... . Continued on page 11 •.. OF FORT SAN ~ ERS~ .}\~-=' JT Bailey We' had 'serious problems with "Gene is very accommodating. All , . workmen illegally entering the apartment complaints are responded to immediately. .'. " I Responses: 1 I 1 Safety: . B . without any notice. , I He is friendly and fair. He does not charge t would/' be a task to compi e a Maintenance: F It was extremely difficult to get tne . for maintenance of broken appliances." c9JIlPletelistingofall theLahdl~rdsofFt. Security: C deposit refunded. I had to hound the Sanders, wi th,comments and raongs from Privacy: F manager for nearly a month every other Lane Hayes their tenants. In the nervoug,sweat damp- Overall: D day to finally get the-check, and then it Responses: 1 ened pages of the Lame Monkey, that's JT Bailey owns several converted . was short $40 for a "cleaning fee." Safety: C exactly what we intend to squeeze from Victorian homes along Clinch avenue. My experience withJT Bailey and his Maintenance: C this rock, this monument, this historical The unit I lived in 2 years ago was a fairly workmen may have been extreme, but I SecuritY: D neighborho(x,i. People own your .apart- nice, recently remodeled apartment on think it is a good measure of a landlord to ' Privacy: D ment; and their attitudes, policies, and the second story of 1205 Clinch. It was see how they handle the serious problems Overall: B morals directly affect you, the life of the clean 'and above-average as the Ft. goes. with their properties. I don'tfeelJT Bailey Lane Hayes is a good landlady in that renter. In this issue you'll find .our first After living in the apartment a little handled it well at all. ~he is very busy and you don't see much of attempt-a semi-comprehensive apart- over half a year, a water stain appeared in her. I lived in an apartment at 1310 ment and renting guide to Ft .. Sanders, the plaster of my ceiling. The second day Bel Alre Clinch two years ago. The rent is premium listing the Landlords by name, a~print- as it got larger, I called the manager, ~nd Responses: . ~ for the sporadic maintenance, although ing tatings from people who have and after a week of this growing water patch, Safety: the house is lovely. now live in their rental properties. a "plumber" came by and punched a small Maint~nance: ~ . When it came time to renew the lease, The beads of anxious slumlord perspi- hole in my ceiling to allow the water to· ~un~: B Lane became irate when I found some ration are mixed in with the printers ink ,pour out. He asked if I hada buc~et. . ~:d!i~ B items that I could not agree to, namely: that we were to pay for all glass broken in we used to reproduce these pages. This After a week of this itwas explamed to , Bel Aire is that square, "circle xhe ' the apartment (ind,uding vandalism) and noxious concoction assures that we've me -that they. were. doin~ the ''best th~y wagons" beige brick building with that tha t we were to pay any renters insurance done our best to provide you with the could"indealmgwlththlsmatterandld French sounding name. That is about all increases while we stayed there. The lease most accurate information, but realize, just have to be patient. After a month of that makes it unique from Highland was also very vague regarding the amount weary reader, that the comments were dailycascadesandmuch~rging:aplumber Terrace. If you enjoy living in a of rent to be charged: it seemed as though given in anonymity, and as such, are once again arrived (whlle nelther.1 nor cinderblockbox, this is the place for you. unsUbstll11tiated. The Lame Monkey makes my roommate were there) a made ashghtly it were open-ended, if she so'chose. We I no claim as to the accuracy of this infor- larger hole in the ceiling. My toolbox was JT Bradbury tried to discuss these points with her and mation and present it merely for your . opened, my tools and flashlight, she responded as if I intended to break Responses: 1 consideration. We do not advocate, nor' apparently used by the workman, were glass and raise her insurance. She Safety: B demonstrated very bad interpersonal skills. disclaim any individual, agency, or cor- coated with sheet rock slime and the foul B Maintenance: If you wish to pay the price, the poration. This is presented for informa- water that continued to drip in. I was told Security: A apartments are nice. tional purposes only. Vi!e invite respon- again to be patient. The workman was an . Privacy: D sible conflicting criticism. Think of this alcoholic and I should go easy on him .. Overall: C Highland Terrace as a Let's Go! travel guidefor the Fort. After months,! felt a little·direct Laura Bresko ~o Responses: 2 What we hope to accomplish by pub- action was in order. I typeset some signs at Safety: A lishing these comments is to provide the work and stapled them on electric polls Responses: " 1 Safety: A n Maintenance: A prospective renter with a bit of k~owl- . all up and down the block. "See Bailey Security: B , Maintenance: \ A edge before 'they sign into a year-long Falls, The Fort's Only Ind~r 6-foot Privacy: A commitment. Forewarned is forearmed Waterfall." "You've Just Missed Bailey Security: B Privacy: A Overall: B and forearmed is openhanded. And with Falls, A Family Fun Favorite." Anyone Overall: . A . Highland Terrace is comprised of a· open minds,' we hope that the good and visiting would be greeted at the stairwell Laura Bresko owns 4-5 homes in the. god-awful amount ofidentical uman-hotel bad reputations are amply earned and witha sign saying "Only 20 steps to Bailey neighborhood. Some of the homes are·in style buildings loea.ted in east Ft. around amply rewarded. Falls." Once the lucky tourist climbed to better condi tion than others, but Laura, a .13th and Highland. They are identical. We received a total of 53 responses to the base of the dill pickle buck~t they former student herself, is very reasonable They are so much the sll:IDe that if you a questionnaire passed out around cam- . were rewarded with, not only the view of and keeps them in good condition. She is want to rent, they don't show you the, , pus and the Fort during early spring and our bi-daily Yellowstone, but a post<:r of shrewd when it comes to rent and you available units, they aSk you to walk sum~er. This combined with our edito- interesting facts regarding the spectacle: probably won't find any fantastic buys, Continued next page ... ri~l staffs personal experiences, we hope, water flow per day and month, ~eigth of but you'll get what you pay for. will help others from duplicating our the fall in inches and metric, average Ms. Bresko is a really cool landlady HER mistakes and benefit from our experi- times of eruption, and the blueprints for who keeps everything in great shape; but ences. the &iley Aqueduct, the soon-to-be 'LaDINGA HOMELESS GENTLEMAN TOA NEW SUR· The next time we present this guide, also doesn't hassle you. , eighth wonqer of the world that would Pay your rent, be cool, and life goes on. BURBAN HOME·SITE WHITI BOYTRIES TO ARRANGE we hope to be able to print more personal save us form emptying the damn thing FOR AROOM BUT IS MET BY THIS experiences. By gatheting our informa­ everyday. : GeneColUns 1. 0... cousin is going to move in tomorrow. tion in a different way, we hope to im­ The manger greeted me the next day, Respon¥ts: 1 2. We'd love 10, but we just decided to point the prove our ability to print direct quotes said that he personally thoughtitwas very Safety: B holWays. ,\ , . from our respondess, while protecting their funny, but we should desist lest Bailey Mai ntenance: B 3. W.'re going on a trip &woulil feel fll1llY leaVIng identities. So be watching. Nextyear we become enraged. Thingswere soon taken Security: B any strangers her.:' .. hope to provide an even better listing. care of. After three months of Frank Loyd Privacy: A DISCONCERTED, WHITI BO~ BURNS DOWN EIGHT Overall: -B Enjoy! Wright dream-space, our patience was HOUSES - rewarded by a half month's rent gratis. LANDLORDS John Keever Mr. Meachum, a.k.a. "Sargent Andy ," are not given the supplies continued from page 7... Responses: ' 3 is a veteran and is known for his preference to .make needed repairs. around the office (model apartment). Safety: D for things being 'just so.' This includes The houses stay together They have repairmen on retainerwho Maintenance: ~ F PeoPle. He is very prone to make character because they were built so fix things. If a refrigerator breaks, they've Security: D evaluations, and how much slack you get damn well along, long time got a dozen in the basement ... Privacy: B is dependent on this evaluation. . ago. They are very much a structured Overall: B' Nice apartments. Landlord minds his own business. Is business, like UT, and so are predictable Deposits on his apartments run from relaxed about getting the rent in on t.ime. and reliable. If you can handle living in a one half to a full months rent, and this Monday Realty Company Prices are reasonable; utilities are clean box, with a doorandwindow, this is amount is either non-refundable or the Responses: 3 · generally high (lack of insulation); the place for you. These apartments tena~ts report difficulties in reCovering Safety: A freedom of expression (renter Maintenance: A definitely lack personality, but if you want their funds. (Read the lease!) modifications to home) is almost Security: A a roof over your head with minimal BS Examine the~ndition of the building boundless. Notas clean as most, but fairly carefully before you rent. Landlord is Privacy: C and street-pounding, it's shelter. Overall: B spacious for the $. Unlike may other places, Highland reported to be elusive. Monday Realty rents some really nice Neely Development Terrace comes with a swimming pool Alan McNutt apartments in the Fort and is definitely an hidden behind the 13th street STIGA Responses: 3 Responses: 1 above average landlord. Rents are Safety: D (which gets locked at night). - reasonable and leased on a 30-day basis. ... Safety: D · Maintenance: D L Maintenance: F When things break, they get fixed. When Security: F I WilHam Hurst PrOperties: Security: C major appliances die, they have been Privacy: C I i Janice WilUams Privacy: B known to buy new ones. Overall: D ! . Responses: 2 Overall: B I There have been reports of problems Neely' ,Development owns many Safety: D As with many other Ft. Sanders with noise in some of the more crowded properties scattered across the Fort. There MaintelJance: F property owners, there seems to be a ,- buildings. are reports of inadequate maintenance Security: D problem with maintenance and upkeep. Privacy: . B As with most good landlords, good and problems with locks and security. Overall: C Andy Meachum luck. All three times I called during Pets are not allowed, but management different apartment hunts, they had no sometimes turns their head. Parking is . Apartments are pretty, but Responses: 3 maintenance is reported to be lacking. Safety: B units available. available for some buildings. . If your car is to~ed, demand to know One person reported problems wi th a Maintenance: C Montgomery , leaky ceiling that never was fixed to his Security: C exactly where it was towed to. Do not Responses: 2 satisfaction. Both respondees reported no Privacy: C accept any excuses or insinuations. If the Safety: B Overall: ~ B problem persists, call the police. fire extinguishers in their apartments. Maintenance: B Andy Meachum manages a cluster of Parking is avaiiable .. All utilities are Security: B PDC Rentals provided . . buildings on 1600 Clinch ~nd Laurel. Privacy: C Responses: 6 Although there are bugs in some of the Overall: B Mike Jugan apartments, the apartments are kept in Safety: D Montgomery owns many of the Maintenance: F Responses: 1 good condition. Leases vary from 6-12 buildings in and around Maplehurst Court, If you poy in cash, be sure to get Security: . C months and parking is available. a cul-de-sac of buildings located just east receipts. Privacy: D of campus between the river" Henley Overall: C Street and Cumberland. Many of the PDC Rentl!ls manage a group of buildings are 4Jery beautiful, others are buildings around 12th and Highland. We're making $~me people littlemorethanholiday-inn-stylestacked There have been reports of bugs and rooms, some are real holes. rodents Tn the apartments and pet fish "ery, "ery angry.•. The places are generally clean; the being killed by pesticide. Be sure that you candor of Montgomery is very receive a copy of your lease when you sign institutional to the point of being curt; it. Be sure to carefully inspect the and everything seems to be by the book apartmentfor structural worthiness (jump and up to city codes. They don't give out up and down a couple of times) and fire much information over the phone, so if safety. Be sure to examine the air you're looking for a place to live, you've condi tioner and other appliances closely, got to stop in and go on their tour in the they might need to last you the duration tacky old station wagon (business hours of your stay. only). PDC offers apartments with rents Parking may be a problem due to the cheaper than the average. Parking is . many other parking-space-conscious available for some of the buildings. rental properties in the area. The buildings along the river have a Ramsey's cafeteria. bad reputation for getting broken In to­ · Responses: 1 Maplehurst is fairly' high-profile to the Safety: B outside world. Due to the proximity of Maintenance: B Security: A Maplehurst to homeless camping sites, Privacy: A there have been problems in the past of Overall: . B voyeurs. DOn't panic, Maplehurst is jusi: Ramsey's Cafeteria manages Saratoga Our Competition! as safe as east Ft. Sanders. at 1800 Clinch. Described as: "Best MWL PrOperties landlord, very understanding, nice quiet -WaHty (vples-h1ntln!-Typesettln! Responses: 2 atmosphere, homey, -comfortable, Safety: C personable neighbors." Some bugs. -~esumes-l3lndln!-()verheads-and mae. Maintenance: F Parking available. Security: C Privacy: A KB Properties ~~I7r-aphic Overall: B Responses: 1 Rick Mynatt manages several buildings Safety: B located along White Avenue near 17th Maintenance: C Security: A ~~Cr-eati()ns and doesn't seem to want to spend any Privacy: B money on upkeep. I t shows. Several Overall: C Corner of 17th & Cumberland .'522-6221 buildings have serious water damage . . Repa{rmen have complained that they Continued next page ... Your Rights as a Tenant in Knox County :·.·rr u.·.· ... ·. ....• r.·· •·.u ... .rr •.•· ..•••.•. •·.•• · ••. r ·•••••• ~ •r• .• ·•·r. ..n - Note: This is a gen­ for subletting, who will make repairs, rules • Ifyouhaveaw·rittenlea~:dependson in private housing can evict you for any eral summary of the ofbehavior, provision requiring tenantto lease provisions. reason, as long as the eviction is not Laru11ord/T~ law in notify landlord of any absence over 7 • -If you break your lease, you may be retaliatory and proper written notice is Knox County, Tennes- days, and provisions as to the landlord's held responsible for rental paymeni:sgive~ unless waived in a written lease: If see, and is not meant to be a substitute far right to enter the rental premises. It is il- during the remainder of the term. If the landlord wants you out but you won't · legal advice on a specific legal problem. Seek legal for the lease to make J:he . your landlord breaks leave, the landlord must file a detainer legalcounselif 'YOU think that 'Your rights hooe tenant give up rights granted by the lease, you may sue " warrant in General Sessions or Circuit been violated. This article contains excerpts Tennessee'_s Uniform Residential .him. . Court ifhe wants to force you to leave. He from'a pamphlet of the same name prepared Landlord{Tenant Act. may not throw you out himself. by the Housing Unit of the KnoxVille Legal Aid Societ:y, 502 South Ga'Y Street, Suite Tips: What are your 404, Knoxville, TN 37902-1585 , 637- • Take a friend with you to responsibilities? 0484. The KIAS provides legalassistaTlCe to wi tness the terms of an oral Late c harges • Pay rent and utility bills on time. those who may not be able otherwise to affard lease. can n o t exceed • Keep the premises as clean and safe as legal counsel in civil matters. The Lome • Either do not sign a lease 10% of the they were when you moved in. Monkey honors this organization far the their that has blank spaces or mark amount past due • Do not damage or allow others to service to our communit:y . through the blank spaces. If and cannot be charged damage landlord's property. there are provisions that you until the rent is past • Do not disturb neighbors or engage in What Is the Lease? do not understand or that you due oy five days. illegal activity on the premises. The lease is the rental agreement be­ disagree with, clear up the • Obey any reasonable rules made by tween you and your landlord. Leases can problemin writing before sign­ the landlord. ' either be oral orwri tten. An oral lease can ing the lease. • Allow reasonable access to the land­ be either month to month or week to lord. What If you are week, depending on your agreement and How much notice Is required for either you or your landlord What are the landlord how often you pay: evicted'? In a written lease, typical provisions to terminate-the lease? It is illegal for the landlord to padlock responsibilities? include amount and due date of rent, • Ifyoupaybyth~~k: 10 days written your door, throw you or your belongings Damage/Security Deposits. amount of damage or security deposit, notice. out, or cutoff your electricity or water The landlord must deposit the securi ty length of lease, how much notice is re­ • If you pay by the month: 30 days even if you fail to pay rent. However, ifhe deposit in a bank and tell you which bank quired to terminate (end the lease), terms written notice. used the proper procedures, the landlord Continued on page 10 ... LANDLORDS continued from page 7... ' The Trammels have some of the best revenue 'per property than possibly any . were told 'no problem,' until November buildings in the Fort and the most laid· other landlord in Fort Sanders. Whether "Overpriced, smelled bad. Kicked us when the Sheriffshowed upwithdetaine:r bad and mature renting policesciany in or not this is good for the tenants is a out without months notice because ci warrants for my roommate and 1. A visit , " the area. question that candor forbids us to di8CUSS to Hodge's oiIc:c showed that we owed The big gothic bUilding with the at this time. $150. in late fees. Between their know­ - LW Roberts spik<;d-iron fence and spires on 15th and At this time, it might be good to nothing secretary/accountant and Hodge, Responses: 3 Laurel is one of their buildings. Inside remi nd all renters that it is a good idea to we got nowhere. Safety: C you'll find apartments that aren't very keep a written, carbon-copy of all "My father was adamant not to give in Mainlenance: C spacious for the money, but if you don't correspondence between them and the to them. My roommate and I devised the Security: C need much space and like the wood and Landlord, and to carefully examine their cheapest attack possible: harassment. Privacy: C ceilings and a killer entrance way and lease befare they sign. Also, remember Overall: C Everyday for the next week, he and/or I yard, it mjght suit your tastes. Laurel that even when the search for housing Refundable deposit usually equals 1 would go up to the office and 'check' on Terrace, behind the gothic building and seems hopeless, sometimes it is better to ' months rent. Pets are allowed. There have our account. What we wound up doing on 15th, was built 100 (?) years ago to be keep looking than to take what first been reports of bugs, some leaking water. was driving,off customers (amazing how apartments, so they aren't cut up as most becomes available. Sorry for the Some ofthe properties are in questionable quick a fart sneaks up on you, or how fast of the homes in the fort. Wood floors, real digression. -condition. Parking is available. Be sure they clear a small office) and irritating bath tubs, and decent space is really nice. Seven of the 9 responses complained that lease duration is on the paper that Hodge & know-nothing with our They also own some homes on 1500 block ofbugs, rodents, or fleas. Mr. Attaway has you sign. questions: 'So how did you wind up Laurel. at times requested that his tenants park working here', 'How old are your, 'Is that The Trammels don't have you sign a on the stree,t during football gaJ;nes so that Shelter Properties: a picture of your daughter? Nice!' lease per se, but a rental agreement. You he may park paying customers in his B. Hodgel R. Attaway "Before step #2 (filing in small claims agree to be a, considerate human being apartment building's lots. It is Responses: 3 court: a $20 tactic) against Attaway & and give them a months advance notice recommended that the reader check the Safety: D Co., we got a call from Attaway. He ofyour departure (to get back your months accompanying article regarding renters Maintenance: C would drop the warrants and court costs if deposit) and you just write them a checlc righ ts and to be sure that ~thing is Security: D we promised to pay on the first from now every month. The older Trammels are written in the lease. If it's not in the lease, Privacy: C on. We said OX A day later we told him Overall: C really nice, do the maintenance, and get seek competent advice or counsel before 'g<:XXi bye' and moved out by January 1st. For more information about Mr. things taken care of very quickly. It's hard acting. "Someone picked up our lease, so our Attowcl1, see Village Apartments. to rent an apartment from them as their Attaway's properties are premium asses were covered. I do still send people "I worked for Reid Attaway as 'one of turnover is real low and the number of priced, ofvarying quali ty and cleanliness, to Shelter Properties, but with this his little laborers' for the 1985-86 school people who call them is high. plentiful, and.ready for occupancy. watning-Iearn to expect the worst and / . year. So my junior year I went to him to take nothing for granted. Also, when the VANILLA ICE CREAM get my first apartment (1812 White 'DIe Village: Reid .f\,ttaway going gets tough, the tough get creative. Avenue). I paid everything on time and Responses: 9 IN ANEW MIKE lYSON DISGUts~ WHITE BOYBANGS We could've torched the place or keyed D was anexcellent renter. The next year my Safety: ONWHITI HOUSE DOOn[LlNG HEWlllMASHTHE A ttaway's car, but we used our heads and Maintenance: F friend and I got the house at 2206 Lake PRESIDENT'S BRAINS IN UNlESS HE ••• became asses. It worked didn't it?' Security: C AvenUe. It is a killer party house with Privacy: A ONE· knocks aut 01 ctlSCl'inination ample parking, tennis courts across the Trammel Renting Overall: B lWO· brings inflation 2slonding 8 ct. street, Pilot right behind, andagreatrope Responses: 1 What can' I say when I receive 9 THREE·KOs~ swing in front. - safety: B responses about a single landlord and aU FOUR· decisions Drop-Outting "We moved in August 16th (my Maintenance: A of them are negative? VPSAYS PRES. HAS TUMMY TROUBLE; CAN HESUB? birthdi y} and told Attaway's sidekick, Security: C Reid Attaway owns and manages a BUT, DON SHAKES HEAD Bryan Hodge, that we would pay on or Privacy: A good many properties in the Fort, and Overall: A b,efore the 16th day of each month. We I with good reason. He produces more WITHOUT RHYTHM \

Your Rights As A Tenant Continued from page 9 ... , it is in andcthe account number. When Examples until service is restored plus sue for pay­ Knoxville's glass lowers Y9ur lease is terminated, he must inspect • Building must be waterproof and ment for substitute housing and attor- are like two breasts and make a list of any damages and cost of weatherproof. ney's fees. humped up with silicon . repair. Then you inspect and if you agree, • Building must have inside bathroom What if the landlord removes you or implants, distracting an otherwise sign the list. The landlord will keep the and kitchen sink with hot and cold your belongings from rental premises or benign and ordinary front. portion of the deposit needed for repairs. water connected to a sewer system. willfully diminishes essential services? You Jake Butcher If you disagree with the landlord's list, you • Rooms must have at least 2 electrical may: 1) Regain possession of premises; or our adventurous entrepreneur can either refuse to sign or make your outlets. 2) Terminate the lease and sue for prepaid author of the greatest corrections. If you • Wiring must rent and 3) In either (1) or (2) sue for bank failure since the-Great and the landlord be safe and in good damages and attorney's fees. DepressiOn cannot reach an condition. What if the landlord refuses to keep (that 10 which it's compared agreement as to the • Stairs and the promises made in the lease or to make also in Tennessee) is history, amount owed for porches must be in needed repairs? You may: Sue the land- o his house, ostentatiously repairs, you may sue good repair. lord for damages, injunction. and attor- visible from the highway in General Sessions • Heating sys- neY's fees upon giving 14 days written no- senled by strangers; some of my or Circuit Court to tern must be safe tice. 2) Give sufficient notice and termi- friends recover that portion and in gOOd work- ' nate the lease, then demand return of all 0'tY" some his fumiture. of the deposit in ingcondition. prepaid rent and that portion of the secu- 01 dispute: rity deposit that you are entitled to. drunk on his way Name and Ad- What," What if you fail to fulfill your respon- An old dress What if the sibilities under the rental agreement or to Kentucky, flattered me at my first in When you move Landlord accepts fail to maintain the premises? The land- a bus slop, week town. A naked woman---not a very lewd in, the landlord rent without res- lord may: 1) Give you written notice must give to you in ervation after you specifying what you have done or not one- on his ankle writing the name have failed to keep done and that if you do not fulfill your re- IatIooed posed on the caption: Knoxville Girl and address of both the manager and the the rental agreement? You may know that sponsibilities with 14 days your lease will owner of the premises. the landlord has waived his right to evict terminate within 30 days. If you fulfill (a ballad from the Cumberlands Maintenance you for that particular failure. landlord's request, but same event hap- ~n which a man betrays his Comply with all building and housing What if the landlord deliberately or pens within 6 months, landlord may ter- presumably knocked-up codes affecting health and safety. (Kn- negligently refuses to supply essential minate the lease with 14 days' written true-lOve, pitching her in the oxvilleuses the Southern Standard Hous- servicessuchasheat,electricity,orwater notice. 2) Sue you for damages, injunc- Tennessee, ing Code.) and you have given him written notice? tion, and attorney's fees. - now waiting 10 be hanged, free consequences for the rest of Not abuse ' access rights for mainte- You may: 1) Restore the service yourself What if your failure to maintain the from nance. and deductthe cost from your rent; 2) Sue premises materially affect health and safety time). Make needed repairs and keep prem- for damages ifyou remain in the dwelling; and the situation could be remedied by . isesinfitandhabitablecondition. or3) Stay somewhere else and pay no rent repair, replacement, or cleaning? The Whatdoes~lstown . ,-,, ------=------. landlord may 1) Make repairs and submit ' h~ 10 da WI.th Appa~la? the itemized bili to you for payment· 2) We ve taken It, cosmopolitans, Gamepieces for the UT Bored Game Evict you. ' ~th ~r surrealism and jazz, lingual (page 16) Photocopy this page to make as many as you need. What if you do not pay rent when due? Vlrtu~lty, doctoral. degrees, conter:"Pt. Thelandlordmay,aftersufficientwritten A nation~1 magazine ra~ KnOXVIlle LOAN LOAN LOAN LOAN LOAN LOAN notice (unless waived in a written lease), , the most lIVeable .metr~lls, $1,000 $1,000 $1,000 $1,000 $1,000 $1,000 terminate your lease and sue you for rent a good ploce 10 live since we due. ~uppresse? the natives, a ~ne school What if you abandon the dwelling? If It weren t for the students. The landlord may re-rent the dwelling, terminate your lease and sue you. Behind fresh ~nish Note: This article is not a substitutefar an impassioned pimp still pounds; the legacy innocents, roughnecks, legal acMce on specific problems. 01 rednecks, cousins of hayseeds r----S2-J-M-E-t-RO-S-E-P-lA-C-E---...... sold up and incorporated FORMERLY SUB STATION II by hot preaching, by the cold oppression of the coal kings and the mills and the TVA. They believe every word of John's gospel. They believe th~ president.

Humane and heady Progress early in my life ON SPECIAL _went dreaming to its bed and woke Any Half Sandwich, Large up . Fries or Chips, Large Drink in shopping malls and growing schemes . $2.99 that made old neighborhoods sick with tar, Kabob, Rice, Salad, and Drink that cruShed still breathing houses $3.25 under exit ramps. Cut out these heads, tape onto a penny and use as But I've chosen a side, one evil . a player marker. against the other, for ~e new y.lorld Hamburger, Fries, and Drink , murders the old for liberation , $1.99 ' , ",, from the institutions of privilege: ' ;~ ~~. -)1; ,', ~- - ~., ~. . 0. - - ' :- 1;. - patriarchy, white tyranny, white " f!:';? ' ':., ;, 0' P ~ "A -- . ~'I towers. :y l'-'f " Tel/ 'em you saw it in the ~nkey For Matthew's testament; FIMI'(CB Continued from page 6 ... EI'(GLISH 301 Financial Management 101 English Comp 233 Major Black Writers . Auxier 1 3.00 Hubbard 1 3.00 Dumas 1 3.00 f,J "Fair teacher." "Energetic." 513 Macroeconomics "Lazy when grading papers." 421 Investment Anal 263 Inu:o to Creative Writing ffiitl Garrison 1 4.00 Lewis 1 . 3.00 ~ Daves 1 4.00 Ringer 2 4.00 "Damn impressive, but too much "She laughs at everything she ~ "Comedian." . "Excellent, though slightly flakey, material. " says. Real comic." 471 Estate and Financial Planning ffiitl 615 History of Economic Thought ~ . Peavler 1 4.00 but isn't that the fun part?" Dotterweich 1 4.00 1M' Jensen 1 4.00 ' 1M' . ''Takes drudgery away." "NEVER mix your metaphors, "Great practical course, but he's "A bitScat~, but knows his 102 English Comp kids." retiring." stuff." Combe 1 3.00 306 Intro to Shakespeare . YM,"r" 481 Real Estate Fin / Inv Anal Carroll 1 3.00 .tY EDClltI . ''Tough teacher, but helps you . Boehm 1 4.00 out" "Entertaining. Makes "Study the lecture notes." 495 Apple Core Itt7\. . Shakespeare's plays come alive." Turner 1 2.00 - .....- Coulter 1 0.00 £. 522 Portfolio Analysis "What a dork." 332 Women in Amer Lit ~ Hilliard 1 1. .00 "Good field experience. Instructor qz:. Jennings 1 3.00 t.y needs to be better." Datz 1 2.00 "Has problem with reality. "Unamerican." "Engaging, men should look into Derives too many formulae EDUCAllOML lit CourfsEuNG Grieve-Carlson 1· 4.00 ~ the class, good looking overalr, a real dick." PSYCH "No term paper!" teacher." . 210 Psy Child Development ffiitl Norris 1 4.00 ' ~ Papke 2 4.00 ~ FORBSTKY, WILDLIfE lit FISH 201 Intro to Forestry, Wild, Fish .A. I Hutchens -1 4.00 ~ "Excellent This man is hot. Go ~'Wi11 talk intelligently about Deardon/Hay 1 1.00 \ I "She is so groovy! Hey guys ... out of your way to take this class. anything. Very good, interesting; . "Hard quizzes for such a lame' . here's one who's available! She He has the rare talent of making fun." class. Deardon shitfy lecturer, even brings goodies to the tests." one not only think, but cares about 355 Adv ExpoSItory Writing = Goslee 1 3.00 won't budge on grades." whatever is being discussed." ~ EDUCA'I'IOML CUKRIC lit 250 Conservation OVerbey 1 3.00 .tY "Open-minded professor." II'(STKUCT Strange 1 4.00 "Intimidating. " 363 Writing Poetry ~ 355 Intro to Secondary Schools W "Really vivacious instructor. Owens 1 4.00 ' ~ Smith 1 3.00 .tY Myer 1 3.00 JY Attention maintained to the hilt, "Provoked thought in a relatively "Good teacher, but if you don't "I'm not sure it's possible to fail; . very beneficial to environmental . illiterate environment Felt uneasy " like being criticized, forget it." pretty good prof." clasSes." grading· Gudging)Jgdividual 371 Found of Eng Lang 461 Dev Reading in Content Areas W 510 Global Warming thought" Ball 1 4.00 ~ ""!i!!!!!!!!OO"" ....II ~ Hidge 1 3.00 .tY Wodvin 1 3.00 q Spraggle 1 4.00 ~ "Ball's a great teacher, too bad "Not a ,WS you to he's ditching "Excellent research presented, but "Good teacher, but grades har~ UT." Say what you think in discussions; IS there a problem?" . Yost l ' 4.00 JMl 413 18th Cent British Novel however, bring your K-Y jelly 011 Zomchick 1 4.00 ~ F'RBI'(CH quiz nights: tell me what I think 442 American Humor 202 British Literature II 112 Elem French and why I think it." Ensor 1 3.00 Anderson 1 2.00 qz:. -West 2 3.50 "Enjoyable reading. Personable ELBCDUCAL EI'(G~BRmO "Fair grading, but doesn't allow "Good, not too hard." "Never pi-of." 201 Circuits I class participation." remembers exams or day of 455 Persuasive Writing Bishop 1 2.00 6p Ball -1 4.00 class." Barton 2 2.00 "If you miss one part of a problem "Fair, tells what's on tests." 211 Intermed French "Conservatives beware!" you make a 75. If you miss 6 Danielson 2 - 4.00 ~ Kress _ 1 0.00 Hammontree things you'll make a 55. Horrible "Awesome guy, eccentric, fair, ll.oo "If you never have him, thank "Everything you ~ve heard is true! grading system, but you learn poet" "Incredible policy on late god." Watch yoUr back for the knife." alot" papers. One in amillion." .A. 2121ntermedFrench 251 Small Computer Sys Gosless 1 1.00 \l 456 Professional Writing ~ Messiha 1 4.00 - Keene 1 4.00 ~ Martin 3 3.67 "He rambles, grunts, and gives too "Very enthusiastic." "Down to earth." "Pay attention. Easy A." "The best many quizzes. But if you like to . 292 French Lit in English Tran ffiitl . teacher since I started 1st grade talk about sex, this is the guy for 459 Adv Tech Writfug Wallace 1 . 4.00 ~ Wallace 1 4.00 back home in Kuwait" yoti!" "He should not be allowed to "And his accent is such a turn on." 311 Transient Anal Slagle 1 4.00 retire. Give him Johunies salary to 460 Tech Writing Hoffman 1 3.00 ~ "You go to class and listen to a keep him." Keene 1 4.00 "Good l<:ctures, but just try to . lady who knows everything about 421 Phonetics 475 ESL Methods guess what's on the exaD!." the subject. It's like she's a Elliot 1 4.00 Wallace 3 2.00 312 Linear Systems . .A. storyteller. Class is actually worth "A classy teacher. Too bad she's "Reads too much Boys Life." Green 2 ' 1.00 . \c' staying awake for." retiring." "Hard test" "Don't trust him. 232 American Literature II "Barks well." 484 Dreamworks Don't turn your back." Foster 1 0.00 Continued next e ... 331 Electronic Devices "Hasn't mentioned literature all Kall~t 1 4.00 "Primo. A J?Crfect experience." . SWEET DREAMS Kennedy 1 0.00 sern~r." "Very, very hanl." Hussein 1 1.00 Em"oPIo.LOGY lit FIANT PAnlO I'VE GOT m SEZ WHITE BOY, MOBILE HOMES FOR Mukuno 1 2.00 "As exciting as seeing your 306 Plant Pathology , ffiitl "A sweetheart until test time." grandmother naked." Hay/Pless/Bemard 1 4.00 . 1M' HOMElESS! lst. to & 361 Plasma McKinstry 1 1.00 "Superb blend of instructors. Each goes Govt. 4 aid grants . Alexeff 2 4.00 "Greeks wet dream." weird in his own way." 2nd. meels Govt. 4sit. selection 453 Digital Signal Processing Sekula 1 4.00 321 Economic Ento - 3rd. IDlb to Govt. 4 housing mngt. BOdenheimer 1 4.00 "Easy class." Lambdin 1 2.00 HAYING BEEN lAUGHED OUT OF 72 OFFICES WI "Tough course, gieat teacher." Taft 1 3.00 "Boring. Lambdin tried but bugs GOES DOOR 2 DOOR FOR GRASSROOB SUPPORT - 462 Kinetic Theory "Encourages others opinions w/o are such a drag." . GETS TOLD Irs NOT MY PROBLEM, GO TO GOY1 Alexeff 1 . 4.00 recourse." . CAN'T HEAR· 430 French Theatre 411 Computer Mapping' ffll Brady 1 3.00 Carter _ 1 4.00 !l:k Underwood 1 4.00 "Wayne's world. Excellent" 444 History of the South "Lots of fun." "She really knows the language, . McDonald 3 2.00 434 Climatolo~ plus she threw out a usekss GEOGRAPHY qw "Grades hard, ultra-liberal, cool Blaising 1 . 3.00 textbook and didn't do oral "Take it if you can." perspective, cusses Lamar & 191 =~~eo~PhY 3.00 - )J interviews." Bush." "Egregious ass!" "Love "Funny when you understand him. GEOLOGY HEALTH . him or hate him, you haven't been Like watching a bad godzilla 101 Gen Geology ·210 Adv First Aid to college until you take him." . Driese 1 4.00 movie." Goldman 1 4.00 irlDUS'I1UAL ENGIl'4EEIWIG Schmudde 1 1.00 "How do peopl~ fail this class?" 305 School & Comm Health -Kopp 1 2.00 '''fake a Vivarin before you go." ~ Bennett/Butler ~ 3.00 405 ~eering ~onom~.oo . ~ 131 GeoofNatEnvir "Good lecturer. Too much trivia in "Bennet is great, funny, and boy! tests." "Great teacher. Keeps cI8ss at Hardin ' 1 , 2.00 ~ Does she love those condoms! Bu~ ease'." "Good slides, but kind of out of Laminski 1 4.00 Butler is' always ambigious ,and it" ~'Great teacher but if you have very booky-boring." ITALIAN 132 Environmental Geography 0 oriental lab prof, get out!" 435 Drug Use & Abuse 120 Italian Hardin 10.00 * 102 Gen Geology Wallace 1 0.00 Kress 1 3.00 "This is a survey course & should Delcourt 1 _1.00 "Gjves contradictory information "Great, sometimes too easy, be taught as such. Concepts - "Her presentation in straight from many sources & tests are helpful!" should be important, not hard MONotone. A good class to test unfair." JOUMAI-ISIII facts. Her tests are impossible & your basic skills (i.e. go to I~tures HISTORY OF mE WORLD 203 Editing . lab instructors are inexperienced 3 times and get a 'B' or better}." 151 Western Civ I . Caudill 1 4.00 & can't or won't help you." GERMAN Bing 1 4.QO "No BS approach. He seemed to 320 Cultural Geography 102 Beginning German "SO enthusiatic!" - know what he was talking about." Rehder • 2 2.50 Denk r 4.00 Hepler 1 3.00 270 Pubic RelationsPrin "Very average, nothing exciting, "Organized, personable and "Too preachy." Ashdown 2 3.50 in fact, quite boring." helpful." Lansing . 3 3.67 ' "Good teacher, but too much work 323 Behavorlal Geography ~ Huang 1 1.00 "Very stimulating & dynamic for too little reward." Bell 2 4.00 "A Chinese instructor teaching . 300 Comm Research Needs "Good class, tests 'suck." "Easy, I lecturer. Hard tests." "Takes a german to Americans? Give it boring subj & makes it Singletary 1 ·3.00 . learned something." up." interesting." "I think she gets "A little boring, but he's nice." 340 Economic Geography Simpson l ' 4.00 'wet' in class!" .. 360 Reporting Bell - 1 3.00 "Jill ist ein righteous dude!" 152 Western Civ~II Caudill 1 ' 4.00 372 Middle America Geo 202 German Bohstedt 2 '3.00 "I thought I wouldn't like him, but Pelsilke 1 4.00 Greenman 1 3.00 ''ToUgh tests graded by.an he's really cool. Good class." "Socialism anyone? Keep your ''Good, but needs to loosen up." unknown munshain." "It's not mind for this class." LATIl'4 AMERK'Al'I Snmms rocket science." 252 Latin Amer Stud Chmielewski 1 1.00 ' 6 Diacon 2 - 4.00 "Supercilious attitude." oW SHE'S "Excellent" "Best lecturer I've Dagley 1 3.00 ' J¥ . had. He'll make you hate your IRRESIST­ "Good lecturer." govt." ,········ut·······l·.... ·' Martin 2 2.50 IBlE. It' . 410 Cultural Plurality , "A cut up. Hard, but at least he's Washburn 1 0.00 not Haas." "An arrogant fool who "Nice guy, but for once he should was too stupid to see that more . talk about something that is ' than 1/2 class cheated on final SHE'S W relevant to the course & no more Rogers . 3 3.33 q ' death talks. Ugh!" DEIDlY. "Someone you can drink a beer with." "Hey, Mr. Rogers ... LIl'4GUISTICS ····r""··,.r.... where's Moe?" "But why does he 426 Historical Linguistics 0 I··r .... sound like Curly Joe?" Mellor 1 0.00 * n 158 Honors: West Civ . "If his' head were not attached, o SHE'S 3 Trainer 1 3.00 he's lose it" ft" "Demanding, but fair." LoGISTICS tft TRArtSPORTADm 251 History of US I m7\ CHISE '" 301 Intro to Logistics m7\ • Muldowny 2 2.00 -.A- IT .... ····· ...... ···,·· .. ·· Langley . 1 2.00 -.A- DIRROW ~ "Captain Monotone!" "Fair tests, b~t the guy is full of 331 History of England hi11lself." Bohstedt 1 4.00 302 Iotro to Transportation • "Wonderfulprof, fun class." Patton 1 3.00 HEI 363 History of East Asia , m7\ "Funny guy. Hard tests." ...... Hao . 2 1.50 -.A- , lOVE 461 Logistics Management ''Treats students like grade school • Foggin 1 2.00 juveniles. Disciplinarian. His IlllS. "Sissy." english sucks. He. should have 462 Carrier Management been caught in Tiananmen Sq. , Patton 1 4.00 • crossfire." ''Wildman.'' : ~ 365 History of Japan , .' m7\ , t 3 Farris 1 2.00 :-.A- MAl'4AGEMErIT II "Very knowledgeable on subject. . 301 Principtes of Gene{al and • Will not accept opposing Operations Management - Call for Directions f viewpoints. Void of perSonalitY." " BQljng ,~1 2.00 ~ 588-1051 ' C; ,"He trieS. I give him that much." 122 Calculus B . mega-buttlick from hell! Should 331 Thermodynamics W,_. " be fued and publicly flogged.'! 401 Business Policy Badawai 1 4.00 Zandi · 2 3.00 J,.y Payne 1 3.00 Jf . - "A real teacher, even though he "Good teacher." "Long test and "~y, fun, informative." "Smart-ass republican, but c8Ils himself a mathematician." HW." 352 Campus Band entertaining." 130 Pre~alculus 332 Thermodynamics .. Sparks 1 3.00Jf Nester 1 4.00 "Band directors will be band MARKETING Nguyen , 2 3.50 . ~ . "Smart, interesting: relates we~ "A teacher that cares = A+." directors." 301 Marketing Management .A. 'Reagan 1 3.00 Q 560 Psy of Music Barnaby 1 1.00 \l 341 Fluid Flow ~ "Real helpful, but too fast" Ball 1 4.00 ~ "Better for grad classes." .Patrick 1 3.00 J,.y 141 Calculus I "Extremely articulate and 'McMillan 1 0.00 363 Vibrations ~ Bonee 1 3.00 realistic." "He lives for martinis and eggrolls Khadeen 1 0.00 . ~ , Doss 1 0.00 on Friday." ' "Very bad.'; NursrrloN "A goober from day one. Don't let Smith 1 3.00 451 Systems & Controls 300 Food, Nutrition ~ him fool you, his tests castrate." too Smith 2 3.00 ~ Hunt 1 4.00 "Go to class =B. Not hard." 142 Calculus II 310 Consumer Behavior "Only prof that parties!" "Needs Pounds 2 3.00 ORMJItENI'AL HORT 8t LAND Peters 1 3.00 to find better textbook for ~ - "You are given every chance to DESIGN "Probably the best teacher in . students. GQ prof." learn. Pounds just wants you to 210 Fund of Landscape Design 0 Marketing. Sense of humor and 465 Machine Design I know if you can do it. He doesn't Rogers 1 0.00 ... easy tests." Lenior , 2 4.00 Imtl _ care about memorizing." "Totally shitty. As boring as they 321 Organ Struct & Behavior. "Get rid of the plaid shirts and 157 Biocalculus come. Geek, dork, flapping Fulton 1 3.00 pocket protector." "Great teacher, ~ Camouzious 1 3.00 J.t;' goose." "Not the best lecturer, but very great attitude, spends vacations "Gained a new word: yesno (do 280 Plant Propagation ~ sweet!" studying coriolis acceleration on you understand this word?). . Day 1 3.00 tY 420 Adv/Prom Management playgr~und equipment." Entertaining multilation of the "Spaced out wacko. Smokes lots Schuman 1 2.00 ~ 466 Machine Design II english language." of grass, but pretty cool. Brown "Mr. Rodgers look-alik~." Euler 1 3.00 ~ 221 Discrete Math I nosing works well." 430 Marketing Opp Anal "Knows his shit; wish he would Thistlethwaite 1 4.00 350 Landscape Construction Cadotle 1 4.00 ' teach me." ~ "Good guy! Helpful. Easy going William 1 4.00 Imtl "No class, no tests." English gent" MICROBIOLOGY "Awesome! Very knowledgeable. MATH 231 Differential Equations I 210 Gen Microbiology 'King of Common Sense.' Easy 115 Statistical Reasoning Tajput 1 4.00 McMahon 2 4.00 Imtl grade wI participation. Helpful, Mathews ' 1 1.00 "Best math teacher I've ever had . . "Great teacher.""She doesn't do best teacher on Ag campus." , 121 Calculus A Makes tests passable." research. She's here to teach." PHILOSOP"UY Kusumsoni 1 0.00 241 Calculus III . . 319 Microbiology Lab "Unsympathic to students. Drop Bonee 1 1.00 . Witenberg • 1 4.00 Imtl 110 The Human Condition: Value and Reality the class if you can!" ' "Arrogant, ignorant HaleS "Fun and relaxed." Mamar 1 2.00 ~ . business students." 420 Pathogenic Bacteriology Vandevate 1 3.00 Jf "Tough to understand at times. 251 Matrix Algebra I Moore 1 4.00 Imtl "Do the papers." 111 The Human Condition: Knowledge Goes too fast in class." 0 Kuo 3 0.67 "Great lectures, sit close. " McLean 2 0.00 ... "What did she say?" "Read the 429 Pathogenic Bacteriology Lab and Reality IBuller 1 4.00 "Horrible." "Very unfair grading. book, you won't follow her." Anderson/Bums 1 4.00 Imtl· Imtl "Brings British humor into a Smart ass, she sucks. " 341 Anal I "Too much work, too little credit." basically worthless class." Ogden/Kemey 1 3.00 Row 1 2.00 , ~ 470 Microbial Ecology .A. Jf Hamlin 1 4.00 ' ~ "Not bad, but she (Ogden) is 400 Hist of Math White 1 1.00 \/ "Has about 18 personalities. Don't rather silly." , 0 Wade 1 4.00 Imtl "Lectures easy & interesting. Overholt 1 0.00 ... "Really knowloogeable, not a crib Exams hardest this side of hell. piss him off if you know what's "Could learn more from a pile of course. 2 papers, no tests." Exains have nothing to do with good for you. " shitl" lectures. " 121 Modem West Thought MECHANICAL ENGINEERING 1 3.00 Peterson 1 4.00 480 Mycology Aquila ~ ~ 302 Circuits for Non-EE Majors "All tests come from homework." Becker 1 ~·3.00 ~ Ji' "One laid-back dude." Waller 1 3.00 ~ "Good lecturer. Boring if you're ' 135 Formal ~gic "Zzzz." not a doctor." Robinson 3 2.33 --. ~ 489 Mycology Lab W "Detached, vague and acts like he-­ . Marcus 1 3.00 tY is being bothered by teaching." ''TA with a sense of humor." "Do not take this course. I mean it, don't You are asking for it...!" MlLrrAKY ScIENCE f'Must relate to understand. Good 110 Basic Military Science job~ Bums 1 4.00. Imtl Continued next page ... "Easy A. Lots of fun." PICKET FENCE 110 Music Appreciation WHITE BOY BUYS 114X79 MOBILEHOMt PARKS IT­ Meachum 1 4.00 ~ NEAR CAPITOL GIVING: "Easy! R~ you test before the a. fell1lOfDry sheher exam." b. to 8 harnaIess men Happy, Hour Trevor 2 3.50 ·1mtl c. of 151im. 9,482 ''Take no other teacher. lie's PlUNG UP r OF PARKING TICKETS, 42 SUMMONSES soc Draft Monday -Friday 2-5 great." "OK guy, but needs to take 4 IWGAl HOUSING VIOlATIONS & 4 CREATING some speech classes." . IUEGAl CHAOS FROM 9,474 (estimate) BANGING Satelbte TV - Digital Stereo 120 History of Rock & Roll ON MOBILE HOME DOOR,.W81S AAULED OFF TO . Young 2 2.00 - ~ TEMP. ~OME IN CUNK '"r AII,Your .. Favorite Sports .. w , ...... ~ - "An obnoxious. arrogant juvenile OUTOf SYNC ,'

-' .. -.--~- 311 Mechanics 330 Law in Amer Soc 240 Ethics 3 00 ~ . 320 History of Christian Davis 1 . Hart 1 Anderson 1 4.00 344 Professional Ethics Respons ffiifl "The worst little Elmer Fudd­ "A+! This guy,is awesome, T~ought ~ Lmge 2 4.00 ~ Graber 1 4.00 ~ lookin shit that ever drew breath." eloquent & fabulous!" "A+! Interesting! Provoking! Two "Speaks' his mind in a positive 432 Electricity & Magnetism .tt7\ 361 Western Democracy . thumbs up! Better than STIRSIL." . way." Obenshain 1 2.00 -.....- Harrison 1 0.00 "Great teacher. Hard grader. He's 345 Medical Ethics "Great guy, but mumbles." "Unfair." lit up wI the subject" Masque 1 0.00 462 Modem Phy Lab 370 Contemp International Probs J}" 370 Phil of Religion Deserio 1 4.00 Iredell 2 2.50 4r 355 Relig Culture US ~ Lusby 1 4.00 ~ Hamlin 2 3.50 "The best prof in the dept." "Boring!" "Needs speech class. "Words don't do this man justice" "Fnergetic, ecclectic and thought­ Don't go to class, study reading." PLANNING 376 Buddhism provoking." "Open to ideas & 415 Constitutional Law I 523 Statistics for Planners .tt7\ changes in format. However, he Stevens 1 4.00 . Lusby 1 4.00 Fisher 2 1.50 -.....- "Lusby is a stud." has a tendency to try to cover too "Best prof at UT." , "Poor teaching methods." "She 440 Mrican Art much material which results in 422 Political Campaigns & Election!.' . cancels class whenever she feels Hackett 1 4.00 skimming important issues." Fitzgerald 3 1.33 ~; like it. She is never punctual." "Brilliantr' . 376 BuddhistPhilosophy "An arrogant, offensive 531 Urban/RegionalAnalysis 490 Jesus & Paul Compared Lusby 1 4.00 o bastard ... ""Arrogant, obnoxious, Johnson 1 0.00 Dungan 1 4.00 "Best prof on campus." * loud-mouth'ed, treats class like 3- "Man should be locked up and not "Godhead prof." year olds. Useless lectures. PHYSICAL EDUCATION let near students." . Shortarse." RUSSIAN 211 Golf . 540 Legal Aspects ~ 440 Human Resource Management Jfi4' - 102 Elementary Russian ~ , Duey 1 4.00 Spencer 1 4.00 ~ Cunningham 1 3.00 . 4r Rashkovsky 1 . 4.00 ~ "Shag ball heaven." "Best teacher in dept, very fond of "Real laid back. Known to ask a "The best teacher on the planet A B+'s." 225 Exercise to Music 4 00 I question and stand and wait for must when studying russian." Pam 1 . , 546 Housmg someone to answer, 30 sees to 4 "Excellent instructor." Kenney 1 2.00 minutes! Key to good grade, read SOCIOLOGY 345 Movement Education "Nice, but can be boring." & class participation." 100 Gen Sociology .tt7\ Mead 1 0.00 Harris/Hood 2 1.50 - .....- ...... PLANT at SOIL ScIENCE 452 Black Africa Politics "Poor example 0 f an ed ucalU&. "TV course. Very boring. Study 311 Soil Fertility ~ Evans 1 4.00 372 Philosophy of Sport ffiifl Lessman 1 . 3.00' "Wonderful course." guide helpful." Morgan 1 4.00 ~ "Courses like this demonstrate the . Lumus 1 2.00 ~ "11tis course is a·bidden treasure PORTUGESE "TA instructor wI video lectures. need for this univ to be more at UT. He stimulated the class and 212 Portugese intmlisciplinary ... Boring. Good tests." was very fair." Vargas 1 4.00 110 Social Probs & Social Chang~ ~ POLmCAL ScIENCE "Very understanding." Johnson 1 4.00 ~ PHYSICS ' 101 US Govt and Politics "Interesting class." 121 Physics 0 PSYCHOLOGY Robinson 1 4.00 Gjorgon 1 0.00 .;. 210 Human Behavior Lowe 3 1.00 "Best quote: 'Over half the class "Great prof. Interesting co~ Smith 1 4.00 "Good, but very opinionated." Ungs . 1 4.00 1M' failed the long test. What's wrong "No tests!" "Teaching for extra money. "Good. Very knowledgeable." Kindergarten revisited ... with you? 1 know it's not MY 220 Behavior and Experience: Morelock 1 .0.00 problem.' Like hell it isn't." -102 Intro to Poli Sci I Humanistic Psych Evans 1 4.00 . - "A huge, gibbering Yeti, drooling 222 Elements of Physics .tt7\ Hunt . 1 4.00 "Cool teacher." ~ . Childers . 2 2.00 • -.....- , "So hip it hurt." slanderous lies about which she Iredell 1 3.00 4r "Students don't give him the 310 Learning and Thinking knows not." "Boring lectures, do the reading." credit he deserves." "Aweful Handel 1 '4.00 200 Soc Anal 6p 315 Tenn Govt and Politics A Ploch l' 2.00 lecturesl" "Interesting, but very quick. You Simpson 1 1.00 H 231 Fund Physics: Electricity and will learn." "Darkheim reincarnated with ' "His hearts in the right place, but Berger & Kellener his heroes." Magnetism 360 Social Psychology , this poor man can't teach." Stelson 1 1.00 VanCleave 2 4.00 330 Computers & Society .tt7\ 321 Urban Politics ' Ploch 4 , 2.00 -.....- "I learned nothing in class. "Unlimited e}ttra credit!" "Nice Roll 1 4.00 "A pleasant, intelligent man . Everything is learned on your person." '''All-Americanapple pie boy, teaching a boring, useless class." own. Cover material very 400 Cognitive Psych .tt7\ . great teacher." "Good guy, common sense class. closely." Johnson 1 2.00 - .....- Final is ugly." "Boring. Drops 10 "Dry, boring, too advance to k~p , up with!" page paper on you for final." Volunteer . 409 Group Facilitation ' 340 Class Structures Clelland 2 , 1.50 Neuman 1 4.00 6p "Cool guy, but boring lecturer." Medical Clinic "Down to earth, little psycho "King of Boring. Karl Marx anality." Worrittl a60ut 6eing pregnant? We carel . ' worshipper." 470 Thry of Personality .tt7\ McIntyre 1 2.00 - .....- 344 Power and Society ~ Birth Control "Likes herself and Freud!" Hampton r 4.00 ~ "LOts of work, but he's cool." FREE Pr8gnancy Testing 482 Topics in Psychology Henley 2 4.00 350 Criminalogy 1 3 00 ~ Abortion "Interesting class. Weird movies." Shrover · . , "His bark is worse than his bite." Infection Checks "Fun Fun Fun! & you get credit too." 370 ~C::::=Ch 1 . 3.00 ~ _ ComJorta6fe Surroundings • 'Evening 1-fours .9Lvaifa6fe RELIGIOUS SnmlEs "She's very amusing, but her tests 313 Relig Aspects of M

TUITION ·h MIS yaw 1IIIIIf.- --rear' EadlSe_star Freshman S800 Sophmore S900 - - "~ Junior $1100" Senior ' SISOO - , - 8Alf dl SUMO! 91 loxville Bored Game

RULES 1. The object is to graduate owing the least amount of money. 2. To start, cut out the game pieces from page 10 of the Lame Monkey Man~esto. - 3. Each DIover seIeds a game piece to use as a marlcerand gets Sl 000 and a' SSOO loan marl(er. 4. To move, roll two 6-sided dice (you put 'em '*ther). . S. When you pass a tuition head, pay the Universi1yTM lcitsa money as shown - . ~ on the table to the left . ..a ...i'lFiftU7 6. If you gel a job (land on a square with aM.M),mIIed thai amount evert time ~ ~a ~ Sicon. If you land on more than 1salary square, lake your ChoiCe of iobs (1 job/~). Sse, po~ salary of SSO. - 7. Go arOund the board 4 times: one for each year of your MgoOd ole coBege daysM: Freslunqg, S(Jphmore; Junior, Senior. . - 8. Unlike realm, Icians are alwayS available from the UniversityTM. It gel a loan, take a . -loan marker and an equal amount of S. . 9. fnjoy! . KNOXVILLE'S

SPECIAL FEATURf The Lame Monkey

The Judybats • Ministry of Love • Underground Television • Local Films • More Music .•• SHOPUFTING (OUT OF) STYLE Dear Editors:

Chood stood in the corner of the men's department. A Muzak.... ersion of a Beo~es melody was playing softly overhead. He felt as if he were invisible while both employees and custom­ ers seemed so preoccupied with themselves. His heart pounded zealously as he scanned the surroundings, waiting -for the ideol moment to commit his preconceived oct. Taking a Vision skull t-5hirt from a rack, he removed the honger, rolled it up and stuffed it into his backpack in one fluid motion. Walking back to the aisleway, he began his trek 10 the store exit. The further Chood retreated from the scene of his crime, the more confident he become. Smugly, he thought, "Anyonethotwould pay for something hos to bea moron. This will showtheguyswhot a wild man I ami" As Normo stood behind the twoway mirror, she witnessed on ad she hod seen committed a coun~ss number of times. Unconsciously, she licked her lips in anticipotion. Chood strolled out of the store whis~ing "Hey, Jude." Before the door could even shut, He fe~ a top on his shoulder and turned to find Normo in his woke. - ,_ Bockina plain, almost stork office, Chood was seorched for weapons with his hondsogoinst the wall and then read his rights justas he hod seen done so manytirnesonold reruns of Drognet. In a short time, a policemon walked into the office. He was humming a chipper rendition of"l Waritto Hold Your Hond" as he clasped the hondcuffs fi rmly on Chood'swrists. AsChood sot in the backseat of the departing cruiser, he become just another shoplifting statistic. Down the rood, when filling out a job applicotion Chood comes across the question, "Hove you ever been convicted of a cri mi nol offense?" What can he soy? This li~ episode will stoy with him for the rest of his life. Chood might hove been one of many who read "Shoplifting Style" in the last issue of Township}ive ~une-July 1990]. He moy hove been one of those impressionable people who read articles like this and are influencea by them . It wason interesti ng Qnd perhapsenterloining article but glorifies the crime of shoplifting. One might feel cOmpassion for someone thot steals to survive, but whot can one feel for a person who sIeols fo r sheer greed and cheap thrills except contem pt? Shoplifti ng drives prices up for persons of integrity who pay for their thing s. Regardless·of what you may hove heard, stores hove 10 chorge more for their goods in order 10 compensate for their losses at the honds of shop lifte rs. Prices are raised to help in the cost of buying video equipment, locking devices, and hiring plain clothes store detectives in on attempt to keep merchandise from wa lki ng out of the stores. We, as consumers, will pay at least on additional 7% more next year as a resu lt. In response to "Shoplifting Style," when playing Russian Roulette, a bullet could be behind any mirror waiting for the chance 10 bring you down. For any who moy hove tried the bogus number in the "Shoplifting Style" article, here's one that you'll get on answer at [ed: legal council advised us not to run this number]. Ca ll it if you think that stealing is stylish. Willie Chanc.

ANOTHER COLONY COLONIC Dear Township}ive; World's Fair Pork manager Jim Begolla, a former UT Student Center direclor, got the 11th . Street Artists' Colony residents out by July. As eorly as last fall, some advised the 11 th Street artists to move their ovante-gorde art and NewYork-5tyle pop fashions 10 UT. But no one hos publicly shown interest in seeing those works ata campus location. Especially after touring the new $1 0.5 million KnoxVille Museum of Art, which cost the city and stote taxpayers a tidy $2 million. This writer hos no business interests downtown and hasn't visited 11 th Street since 1986, but here is a historical and somewhot objective view of the situation: The proposed corporate landlord for the 11 th Street Victorian houses, Fort SanderS Development Corporation, took a powder after the 1982 World's Fair. This non-profit organization was registered by David A. Burkho~er with the Tennessee Secretary of Stote's office on April 9, -1979. Fort ~nders Development Corporation would operate the Victorian houses on 11 th Street as "energyefficient" demonstrations, said Fair officials and Fort Sanders corporate spokesmon, Longstreet Journal publisher Mark Siegel. His address is in the 1980 City Directory, and Siegel's current telephone directory address is a lso the same address as Fort Sanders Development Corporation. Its stote chorter was revoked in 1985 for failure to file annual corporate reports, said the Secretory of Stote:s office. Why, earlier, didn't the city and corporate officers arrange a lease guaranteeing the houses for artists? Will there be a creative Artists Colony thot's profitable and city-supported? Maybe, but for now, Knoxville needs relaxation at on outdoor concert with somebody like Bonnie Raitt _ Hip affordable furniture for or B.B. King whose latest blues cassette Red, Hot and Blue may well-summa rize the story of the l defeated Artists' Colony. the dorm or apartment. ~ FoyMcDavid I - Send correspondence c/o Trudy Sandoz, Letters Editor, P.O. Box 1822, Knoxville, TN 105 Central Avenue • "In the Old City" • 615-546-4857 ~. 37801. Trudy holds sale responsibility for content and would be the first one to say so. 2 Township ;,JIve ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • • • : T.QVVNSHIP : Feedin' Troughs & Waterin' • • • • Holes on the' Strip. • • • ***** of the - • JIVE Antonios Their pizzo is one By Don AIogna McDonalds ** As much os I hotethis reasons I'm still in Knoxville. Skip the buffet • , ploc:e, and os bod 05 it is poIiticolly ond en- ond order from the menu . . They ore as generous with their • vironmentally Jo eat here, you always knowhow the food is • garlic os they OFe with their beer prices. Toke out is the best • . going to tow. You hove to admit, this corporate diner is • deal of 011. I also like storing at the giont light balls. • consistent. J think Sieve Mortin's theary obout 011 the food • Arnold's **1/2 I only eat the garden thing. coming from one ingredient with several different molds is • correct. Terrible milkshokes. love the fries.

Knoxville's \. Place for Books, Cards & Magazines 2104 Cumberland • 524-3184

""~shlp Jive . 3 ' ofLbve by Benny Smith On July 26th, 1990, ellA Guru's played members and shoot the shit with them. The host to a Iocol bond on a Thursday night in the boys in the bond a~ Roger Conoc:Jo on 0kJ City. And this bond hodn't ployecJ there drums, James Scarbrough on vocals, .Jeff since Jale August Jast yaor. Where hod they Woods on guilor, Scott Scheinboum on ke)" • been? Tharsa/Qnghiotusfrom The Club That boards, and Tracy O'Brian on the boss-in­ Ashley Built, so could they be ready for this your.foce. We discussed subjec/s like their gig? Little did the 0kJ City Icnow that it was AJIonlo connection, MIW songs and the new about 10 be blessed with one of the best per­ style, the Knaxvl'lle soen8, their sometimes Tracy: The Cure happens 10 be influenced by formances wver in Knoxville by a local bone/. proisedlsometimes criticized Cure influence, by going 10 the BooIcing and Manage­ Joy Division, and so are we. They just . . Little did the fun house of ellA's know that this and their future. Here's what unfo1cJecJ: ment Seminorin·AiIonla. We've learned become famous before us. bond was about 10 recapture the energy, ex­ . 10 be persislentond p~onol, show MlR IDN1S AND S'l"t'lB up on time, and leave the attitudes at citement, originality, and Iogetherness that mE cm)lrI' (f RIIm.E AND UNWAR· the bond seemed 10 let wonder after their so­ Jeff: In twoond.oholfyeors we hove written home. We'ye got a good thing going callecJ peak performance at the 1989 UT at least 100 songs, but we only do 18 RfNlB) Jm I'D ornm LOCAL BAMlX down there, and it's the nearest big city Bo~ of the Bonds: Yes, fo/lcs:.. Ministry of of them live. k pisses some people off, Jeff: I thought it was great what Hypertribe that you can get signed 10 a label inl Love was about 10 deliver the .goods to a but we hove 10 keep changing as a soid in their interview in TownshipJive pocked house. ; bond, so that's why we play mainly about the foct that they didn't like some mE IOOXWlE nNE: If you missed their perforrnoncg, you missed MIW stuff. 10001 bonds Iolking bod (]nd putting James: The Old City has saved Knoxville. a re-boptism in the holy walers of fpck and roll Rog..: A lot of people are even mod that down other/1oco1 bonds behind their Scott: Yeah, the Vic and Bill days. I mean for Ministry ofLove. It was bock in the spring we've thrown some of our older sOngs bocks. The way I look at it is like this; who wonts 10 go 10 a deli to see a of '89 when Ministry of Love enjoyed i/s first away, like "Fbwers." But we do what Are you in a bond because you want show? look at success and overoH occeplonce when we like for the bond. the girl next door 10 think you're 0001 James: It was a lot of fun but not a good they unanimously wallced away with that :James: The music and the lyrics are a lot when you're drunk orwhal8ver? Isthat breeding ground for bonds. . yeor's Bottle of the Bonds championship. Not more serious now. We're not just inter­ your business, or are you in music IQ be Jeff: It'san exciting town for 10001 bonds, and only did the bond walk away with armloods ested in making fun, donce-type mat&­ a musician and becaUse you wont 10 we've got places like Planet Earth, ellA of prizes that no other Bottle of the Bonds rial. We're a different bond, really .. playmusic? If you're not,leovathe rest ' Guru's, and other places 10 play in. . conlest has ever come close 10 mok;:hing, but We're trying 10 get away from the of us a lone and go find a place 10 hong There needs 10 be a bit of a brother­ hood or friendly competition among all they also walked out of the cove known as "Cur~py" thing and do our own out with the girl next door and be 0001 Alumni Gym with a great deal of respect and thing I with her while you're drunk onstage.' the 10001 bonds. There are a lot of good one's in !own I I'm real happy about enthusiasm thot most people felt waS going 10 Tracy: k was a conscious move, but also on leave the people whO are serious what's happened totheJudybots. They pave the ~ay 10 a record deal. Things didn't tM:JIution. ~ne starts out with about it a..lDnel ·wark quile that way. The bond kept working Some type of influence that you lislen 10. 5cott:Most of the people wha slog us off deserve itl It's great for them, and it's hardandployingplentyolshowsinXnaxviBe Basically, none of us really hod any hove never been 10 a show we've ever, great for the Knoxville music scene. ' It and in other cities around the southeast, liut roots in the originol American rock and done as far as I know. So Idon't know, may pave the way for more attention they just didn't seem to gel that one so-called roll. We weren't influenced by Elvis or if they really know what they're tolking being poid 10 Knoxville by the right big break. rockoolly. Weore~ngbdosomething aboutl people. Butl'm mainlyhappyforthem. un-American and un-rootsy, you kr'lolN? James: Yeah, and Jeff has 00001 jacketl During the time between the Bottle of the ~ IUwmFUL BMS PLAYOO Bonds and the ellA's show this post July, Sure there's some spiritual influences .mEIR FlJlUR:& .Ministry of Love has been paying their dues. there. I love Uttle Richard and his · . Tracy: I've been listening 10 a lot of Slonley Jeff: The only way we can keep it going is Their hard work paid off in full the night of the energy and all that. But his music ... it' s Clorlceand./oco Poslorius lately. It kind lost ellA's gig. And the best thing was, they been done much better than we could of humbles mel k makes me dissatis­ 10 keep us growing. We really are in the business ofgetti ng a record deal. k earned respect in their own bocIc yard. They possibly do it, sa we'll do our own fied with my playing. showedan appreciative crowcJthattheywere thing. Jeff: He spends on unbelievoble amount of doesn't enter inlo somethil)Q like our songwriting or aeotive aspect, but once again a band 10 be loIcen seriously. Scott: The music is fun 10 hslen 10; you can get . time playing and practicing. . James: Heoomeslo practice showing people . outside of that we concentrate on get­ I MinistryoFLove went through a twentysong ·inlo it. We used 10 write songs in Ian • ploy/istthotnightwhich inclucJedatleosteight minutes, now it tokes a mailer of days. his bloody blisters on his fingers and ' tingsignedloa recorddeol. We're just trying Ioda all the right things so that ~ · brand-new songs. From the older sluff Aport On a deeper level , the lyrics are not thumbl r our future falls into place like we want From this World" and "BrotherhoocJ'1lo the yourtypicol rockond roIloffair. What mE A'ILANl'A CIREIm it 10 • . MIW sangs like "This Doric Night" and "In­ we're trying 10 do is give our singer [ ~ Jeff: We got hooked iJploAtionto bygoing James: Creatively, who knows what the t · side, Hthe boys in MinistryoF Love were a Ion:e something he can sing OYer the lop of . 10 the Southeast Music Showcase and . future IioIds for Ministry of love! Jt 10 be recIconed with on this night. thatalloWs him to bring out the emotion [ HHighways Never Found, " their Jalest song . of the lyrics. We really started getting . t inlo thotand not lislening toanyoulside I in rololion at NEW ROCK 90, seemed 10 be i one of the ·best performed ~ OF the ev. influences, and that's where the big : ning. Butthesurpriseoc:JdilionolScollCompbeII turning point came. ! on saxophone really showed how far this bond has eYOlvec/ from their earlierfJoys. The mE CURE SYNmOM! firstsong oFtheseconcJ set, "GhostofChange" James: Sure,I'liodmititlllovetheCure, and left me thinking about Ja.'7Os Rc?xr MIJ$k. they hove influenced me. Two years Campbel, who the bond hopes they'll be ago the Cure influenced me too much. working more and more with, ats'o oddecJ a . But I'm definitely not trying 10 copy Robert Smith or any other singer's · greotsoxophone partlothe ballad "FlyAway. H • This fIfIW dimension odds a lot of creativity 10 voice. I also get inlo Morrisey, David on already creative bond. Ministry of Love is Bowie, and Peter Gabriel, tool bock on ttocIc. . Scott: Some people think, 'Well, they've got Their show at eRA's was instrumenlol in a keyboard player, their singer has a gaining bocIc the fans, allention, and respect somewhat thick voice, they play dark they deserve. According 10 the, bond me~ music, they're liketheCurel" Theseare bers, they will probably be playing ellA the peopIewhodon'tewn knowanything Guru's agoin in Jale August or sometime in about Roxy Music, The New Yorlc Seplember. Don't rule out a Planet Eal/h gig, Dolls, or Joy Division. Those are bonds either. 'recently got 10 sitclown with the bond we lislen 10 and enjoy. . .

4 Township;.JIve , i i by Lance Baird Knoxville is proud to welcome the " .and pocking dance Roors Township Jive:lt's time for that time­ Jeff: No, we recorded 11 songs, and honored question, "How does it the three we did for our demo J~ts 'venue they happened to be rn. We're all bock from Woodstock, NY. The feel to make it to 'the ~ig time'?" were remixed. It wos really inter-, Judybats consist of Ea Winte~ on gUitors, much older now, but some things never Jeff: Well, we aren'tactuolly'big time' estingto hear the improvements JeH /ieiskel doing IeocJ vocc:"s, Terry Cos­ change. The Judybots still pock the Roors yet, but we are on our way. these guys mode on our demos. TJ: . How did the Judybats come to­ Our producer along with the head per an drums, . Peg Hambright on key­ 01 any'club they ploy, but wjth a matured _gether? publicist and the VP of Si re records boords/bockiog vocals, Johnny Sughrue style and professional attitude that con only Jeff: '85 or '86, Ed and I used to sit on chose us to do a song on the the bock porch, playing and writ­ upcoming Roley Erickson benefit on acoustic guitar/vocals and Tim$tutz on meanabrightfuture. Two yeors ogo, when ing folkie music: Johnnie and the compilation. We learned a song: boss.Even.laroway places such as NYC asked what their goals were,they replied others lived across the street play- . and recorded it in one doy.The and Washington,DC hove been graced "To be produced by Thomas Dolby, de­ ing this almost hordcore music. \ compilation is called 'She lives in Ed: Essentially, they hod a band; and a time of her awn'. with their unique sound.We did our first velop a continuity to our songs, develop a we hod good toste, so we thought Johnny: REM, Bongwoter, lZ Top, the Judybats interview in 1988 iust after they style, and cut a record". Well, three out 01 we should ·mesh. Mighty lemon drops and a ,:",hole hod come from the Campus Entertainment four ain't bod. The Judybots hove devel­ Johnnyz (sarcastically! Oh,yeah - right. bunch of TJ: SoJohnnyandco.wereahordcore other inter- Boord's Bottle of the Bo,nds as the grond­ o,p«'a unique style; the songs generate a . band? , esting prize winners. . charge 01 emotion; and the bond has been Johnny: We were kind of a thrash (all • groups That interview was in the very First Town­ . signed to Sire Records. I recently spoke /0 laugh) band called A thousand are coo­ yea;'. We played publicly tributing ship JiVe, the Judybats were still doing the _ the Judybots, at leaSt those we could gather twice. All of us were just material one-time crowd favorite "Bleached blonde . tOgether after a harrowing day of airline learning to play our to it. sweet little generic thing from Tennessee" Right. instruments. TJ: Our friend Who is Roky , Chuck Erickson? . played Jeff: He was in a drums be­ psychedelic bond in c a use the '60's or '70's Terry chick­ 00I led the 13th floor ened out. elevolors and now JOt...-.ny:(omozed) he's apporen~ a LUCILLE'S He couldn't schizophrenic or make it« psychotic; his bock from brains all burned Featuringfine cuisine in. the 9/d City, Tuesday - Sunday. Atla nta up or something. for the TJ:This is your first real studio gig. show. Who produced it? Live jazz and blues night~ , 0r;ept Sunday;. Ed: We better not Ed: Richard Gotterer . let Johnny know the truth .. TJ: I know that nome. _ Private luncheons and parties. Jeff: Oooh, Johnny's bewildered. Johnny: Yeah, he's done Biondie, the J - Go-Go's and a lot of others. WOODSTOCK Ed: He hod a bunch of neat s";ri~s. ItJ6 North (.imlral Slreel ' Johnny: Woodstock is a hippy, dippy Johnny: He was on "Hullabaloo" and Go~inburg that reeks of non-vio­ in a band called the McCoys. K1Jorpille, TellIlessee lence and patchouli. They did 'Hong on sloopy' and Jeff: It really was. Everything runs on some other famous song that's on 'hippy' time there, which is 6:00 the Jukebox at the longbranch. 61.';·.';46·3742 pm. Ed: He's written about 150 songs. Johnny: Yah, even the convenience Johnny: including' My bayfriends bock'. stores dose at 6:00 so the only TJ: Which studio did Sire put you in? way to get cigarettes is to go into Jeff: We recorded in Dreamland and a bar and pay $2.50 for a pock. did mixdowns at Bearsville. There was nothing for us to do Dreon1land isa neat, old, ex~hurch except play ping pong and sit with the pews removed and coo­ around the studio. nected to a two-story house. Jeff: We didn't go out much; we Johnny: The 8-52's recorded 'Cosmic wotcheda lot of TV. Wedidn'tget thing' there and both-of the 10,000 to go out and 'style'. maniocs albums were done there. TJ: . Whot kind ofocoommodationsdid TJ: Were there any guest musicians at '. they provide for you9 the recording session? Jeff: They kept us in a nice lime subur­ Ed: No, just us. Well, Richard ban 'Brody Bunch' type house that screamed for us during the Roky 1 wos in a really pleasant and very Erickson song. j TV~ike neighborhood. Johnny: I got to meet Tony levin and play tetris with him. THE RECORDING EXPERIENCE . TJ: Howmonysongsdidyau record? Johnny:Fourteen. continued on p. 6

Town~hlp .JIve 5 f

Ed: The drums Teiry Cosper ploys on KNOXVILLE MUSIC SCENE these recordings are the same as Johnny: I'm tired of hearing bonds trosh­ the ones used on the IostJohnCougor ing other bonds here in town; I think Mellencomp album. that is really stupid and unneeded. Jeff: Peg got to ploy Kate(8-52'sjPierson' s People talk about a 'scene' here, old Farfiso organ on a couple of and there really con't be one as cuts, and Tim got to play Bi"(Rolling long as this antio$uppart thing keeps SIones)Wymon's Fender precision on going. boss. Ed: You want people to h4!!Or your music TJ: Which songs got chosen to be r. and you want as many people as corded9 possible to corne to your show , you Jeff: Native Son,Woman in the Gorden, wont to be able to make a living Kindness Ki"s Me, Meet Me Incog­ being a musician and there is n0th­ nito, Perfumed ' Ues, Cori'fOlescing ing wrong with that, within reason. in Spain, Counting sheep, Daylight, , So these people who talk about Waiting for the Rain, Don't Drop the 'selling out' are bosicolly full of Baby, The Wonted Man, In Uke crop. with You and When Southern Be"s Johnny: I think If people core at all about The a 'scene' they need to stop troshing Ring, , " , TJ: I've never heard that Southern Be"s each other, There isa certain amaunt song. of compromise involved in every- . Jeff: We wrote that just before we left . It' s thing thot people do. (. a mel law, easy Christmas song. TJz Peopl.who regularlY trash others IMPORT Ed: It's not a Christmas song. It's a are generally uptight because they secular, seasonal tune. are jealous or envious of the people TJ: What about the Gory Numan cover they are troshing. 'Cars'9 Jeff: Some of these people see others Jeff: Only Ed and I wonted to do it. doing something that they have TJ: . Were you happy with the results9 always wonted to do and if they House Ed: Ecsfoticl could do the soJne thing twice as liThe Alternative Dining and Entertainment Experience" Jeff: They remixed 'Don't Drop the-Baby' . well they might hove some room to again and spent the better part of a make snide remarks, but there's no day doing it. The song sounds so one in Knoxville like that. I don't It's Open and It's Happening!! goad that I even like it again. think we could do what Ministry 01 Our food is excellent and the EntertainmeJi IS second to none! TJ: How involved with the production Love is doing better, than they do. I process were you9 don't think Whitey could do What Fri.8.17 Relentless Blues - r.B Jeff: Ch, w. hod a lat of input. w. do better than we alreody do. 'I Johhnya We sot in the ' booth and got think thotmost of this is insecurity on Jackson/Nightsweat/R.B. a White boy blues really involved. . the part of the perpetrotors. " 19 Blies/Jalz)em Jeff: W. hod to stop 'em when they Johnnys Its not a competition. It'd be nice session -1Jes.8.218A started gelting corried oway and if they would just shut up. Wed.8~.8.231V1ojO - Fri.8.24/Sat.8.25 tell 'em it was time to take a lunch Ed:' I really feel that the Kna~, 11e 'music break or something. scene' is on the verge of happen­ Cameron/Allen BI~es band - Sun.8.26 TJ: Carried away9 ' ing, maybe. Our producer Richard Jeff: Yeah, too much of this and that or Gotterer and our manager wont Blies/Jazz)em session -1lIes.8.281BA not enough in the right spots. tapes from locol bonds. Our man­ JohnnyIRichard's engineer is also a pra­ ager soys, "Attitude is everything". ducer. His nome is Jeffrey Lesser If you've met the initial criteria of Wed~8.29 Nairobi 'Trio and he's worked with the Roches, . originality and uniqueness, then if Suzanne Vega, Timbulc 3 and Lou negativity is your thing, you'll fail". Wed. Nights: Reed. If someone has a chance to meet Are Ladies Jeff: He worked on the new Timbulc 3, someone making decisions on who Nights ' and it is ,the first' ever Home digital ta help make it, you knoyt that Coronas $1.50 · Recording, theylinkeda"theseDAT they're going to help people that mochines,up to a PC in their bo$8- they like and not people wha are Domestics $1 ment, did the songs, and brought asshales. them to Jeffrey. Hove you ever seen Jeff: You'dthinkthesepeoplewouldhave Tim.bulc 3 on M They always look grown up by .now. We're aging. really laid bock or bodly stoned We're in our twenties now. I mean - even when they're singing it's like we're not in high school anymore; "toooh much see~x ann naht we're not trying to hang and be 'Bring in'this ad for . enouugh aafecctioonn", It's like ~1. FREE cover, they're on valium. Johnny: Jeffrey soys they're like that 0" HAIRCUTS 1 complimentary the time, they just live in slow ma­ TJ: So, What about haircuts~ draft or 100/0 off tion. He soys he doesn't think they Ed: I'm getting mine cut this week. your menu smoke dope or ~en drink. Jeff: I'm not going to cut mine for a year. See, I've even got a little natural selection VIDEo part action going now. Say, has TJ: Do you ha';' any plans for video9 JefflMinistry of LovejWoods let his Johnny: Sire wants a video out before the hair grow bock yet~ November release of the EP. It's TJ: I think he may be trying again. probobly going to be 'Native Son', Johnny: Mine is still in the works. the guy who did a video documen­ Jeff: IlaughterlJohnny is 'fOcillating over tary of us for Sire is going to be . his quaff. doing the video. His nome is Peter Ed: I'm saving my panytail to use when­ Bick, He did a vic::leo for his own ever I happen to need it. bond, Edna, lout of LA) and did one Johnny: I'm still trying to decide what to fora ropactcolled Big lodyK.1 sow . do to mine. I just don't know. _ the rap vid and it was greot, so we TJ: A rock star cut moybe9 are excited to see what he'll do with Jeff: (more laughte~ Johnnie's in a dit 'Native Son'. about his do. K : Couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of guys! Township Jive "rpublisherrecmtiyhlUl thei,"" tlmt ®1111 yotI boole jNnItUs OJIt there .OJIIA IIppre&illte II ' com.peheM'Pe, III1-m- QUICK FIX FOR BOOK·JUNKIES: c~pllSSing mn,,! of nery single ,booltstore i" K1IOX'PilIe. Soheullelthepotmtilll";teri"for II MUting to tleterWJi", hop best to 80 IIhotlt it: ! e: Olde: Nigh...compre:he:nsive:, ~'Pery single booIutore i" the IIrlllW IIS!td 0ri01lPM8e, the";teri"lJ"estUm. "T0JI7egot intro by Dan Adair . Ne'er... Encompassing Survey of Book Sellers to be atliting! Do yotI rllllne hop ",.."y booie7 complied by Philip Wolff stores there lire IlroJ1M ~e? !hilt .OJIIA be &r photography by Rob Dean too strmrunu. YOJI u" co"fttm.e OJIt. I .ahtlIS Bathrooms: yes that say LOOK WHO GOD LOVES and I • JBSUS .elllell'Pe riaht 110.,' he SlliIl-shm"IJ 110 si8M Special orders/searches: No. ("What are we thermometers oftloi"8 so. supposed to do? Call up people's houses and Why customers shop here: "Actually, I was trOluJy, -Ioolt, ",..ybe lIOt tTlery booltstor~ ask if they're finished with a boolcl") on my way to the big store {i.e. IM'Pis-atlitJ. most ofthem, , OJIr publisher respotule4. Specialfcatures: niftyT-srurts fOr $7; buy and and I saw it here. I'm impressed with their trSriIl too strmtlO14i,' Plliae respotuleil hIIcIe. sell CDs and books-on-tape quality of books" (Ron). Why customers shop here: "It's fun. You Why employees work here: "Actually, this.is "Where lire the jelly doJl8lm"ts, II",.IIY? YOJI . never know what you're goma find, and you my last day here. But it's a growing organiza­ protMsei. jelly iUnlgbtJ"ts lit this MUti"8. ' get real bargains" (Joyce). tion, and fOrthosc withmarkding backgrounds, trSorry,' the publisher mid, trIA." DotJ"ts Why employees workherc: "I love books and it's a good place to be" (John). • IIS OJIt ofjelly iUnlgbtJ"ts. Btlt help yo"nelj to hope to be in publishing someday" (Magi) . the frostetl otJes. ' GATEWAY trFrosteil~ PM8e slIiIl 'With II meer. trI hllte 809 South Gay Street frosted.' He helped mm.seljto thru ofthem.. How boob are arranged: by subject; paper­ trListm, PM8e, III1.e "'"isforyotl to cO'PerjNst backs by genre and authors' last names APPLETREE BOOKSTORE II few booltstores. Thllt's 1111. o"r Itllif";ters How long it took to find-HJlddeberry Fi",,: 4431 W~ern Plaza, 2210 Kingston Pike 1 minute, 15 seconds 'Will tIIIee .hllt yotI report 1I11il put it i1Jto II [Note: will move across Plaza soon] Gollle" Bo"8h: couldn't find it tlSlllb~they'1I edit it. We jNst "ud yotI to go How books are arranged: by subject and Do they carry Rushdie's s.r.";c VerseJf roJIM to II frrp plAces IIM_ybe lISle II ~ author, except fOr history and biography "No, but we've: got his autobiography" How long it took tofind-HJlddeberryFi",,: or ""0, ",..ybei1Jter'Pi,.II_1III8er or CtIStoWur , Bathrooms: yes, but customers can't use them 10 seconds or ""0, 1I11il jot mn theirrespottses. Thllt's 1111.' for insurance reasons Gollle" JJowaIr. couldn't find it-"stOCk is er­ trQJushtlns! I hllh to bm. "p 'Wi fjtuShJlns? I'P Special orders/searches: in-print books di­ ratic"; Beci's dad has a copy, though rectly from publisher; mark-up generally post­ thllt'S the uish,jor/titit!' he mid-or trieR. to, his Do they carry Rushdie's V".,. yes, s.r.,," age and handling; takes 4-6 weeks WJOJIth being foil ofdoJl8lm"t lit the ti"u. usually , Special features: good for killing lunch hour WHAT THE DICKENS Bathrooms: "It's not a public restroom, but "Sorry, 1.lIShilsty. We'll mpply the 1jtIestUms. downtown; rudeness ofcustomers makes you . 1be Old City, Central Ave., across fror:nMan­ we'll let people use it; we're giving souls." AllJO" bIIpe to do is lISle them.. JJ feel like you're in the Big Apple; lots ofma~­ hattans Special orders/searches: do searches twice a' "TOJI tkm'texpectm.e to typellll this sttIif"p, do zines How boob are arranged: hard to tell, but it's . week; no markup; takes about 2 days if it's in Why customers shop here: "Convenient" fun trying to figure it out 1 yotI?JJ stock (that's all he'd say; wouldn't diwlge his name) How long it took tofind-HJlddeberryFi"..: Itflh ...•ell, .e'd aM ofexpected yotI.OJIIA .... Special featura: imprinting and stationery; Why employees work here: "I enjoy books. 32 seconds BtIt, 110! YOJI tkm't hll'Pe to do type it. We'll do have writers do readings, like Roy Blount, Jr. It's never the same day twice,and I meet a GDlIInJ Bo"8h: don't have it and Lee Smith; beautiful, witty employees thllt. YOJI CII" jNst tlSe II lealll J!IId, JiJu yotI variety ofpeople" (Kdly). Do they carry Rushdie's s.r.,," VenM sold Why customers shop heie: "We were told , . tutUJ!ly do~ Thllt'll be ji",. JJ , out in paperback; can special order it / they had a book we were looking for, but they TIlE BOOK WAREHOUSE "01Ie ofm.y lealll J!IItls? YOJI m.1II11, YO" .000't Bathrooms: no didn't-amend told us,notthem. I also li.ke the 1903 Cumberland Ave. Special orders/searches: from publisher, takes be--Jf stuffed animals" (Marty). How boob are arranged: by subject 2-6 weeks; from wholesaler,less than a week; --We'll mpply the plltls. JJ Why employees work here: "BeqUSc it's a How long it took to find - H1I&ldebe,.,., "With two booksearch services, we 'Will find , trAM the pm?JJ stress-free job, it's clean, and we don't have to Fi",,: 2 minutes the book you need." wear unifOrms" (Ann and Bcci). Gollle" Bo"8h: don't have it trAM the pm. JJ Spccialbturcs:inlm:stingatm~;empwis Do they carry Rushdie's S.r."ic Verse" no tra." I Ieeep the pm .her. I'm. dotJe? AM DAVIS-KIDD on the classics; keep around a few rarities; Bathrooms: "1bere's lots of chemicals in open 2104 Cumberland Ave . 7 days a week 'til 10 p.m.,ll p.m. on weekends • hlltneris leftofthe lealll J!IItl? Whetheryotl tlSe there;somebody'lldrinksomeOoroxorsome­ [Note: rumors of moving to West Knoxville] Why customers shop here: [110 0111 there '" ~ ~ the piece or lIOt?' thing." How books are arranged: by subject, alpha­ IIf1S'Wer tIN fj1UstitmJ 'They're 1111 yotIn. ' Special orders/searches: Inspirational/Ouis­ betized Whycmployecsworkhere:SaysHiJdaGutbrie, tim side ofstore will search fOr all Ouistian re­ --Well... JJ Plliae tooi II f,. ."JIteS to thitrlt How long it took to find-HJlddeberryF."..: owner/operator: "j've always wanted to have leases IlbotlttheseterWJS, .mlehefotulletlthelAstiUnlgh- 47 seconds my own business, especially books. We've: Special features: overruns and overstocks; GolllnJ BofllJli: had to ask to find it been around almost 4 years, and I'm excited "tIt. faculty discounts; neat gift ideas like buttons "W1NJt does 1111 this J!IIy?JJ Do they carry Rushdie's s.r.,," VerseJf yes about our new location in the Old City." -T'Wice yotIr JISJIIIl foe. ' Bathrooms: yes; very nice ones, too Special orders/searches: no, but they'll refer Onon Paige's Personal Favonte "TOJI 1II11er plly m.e lI"ything. ' you to a company that ,will do searches -Triple.' Special featura: great magazine selection; Specializes in rare and collectible books, He consider,. this for 1I.""te. trOluJ~ I'll do "We're the mendliest bookstore in town" mainly hard-cover antique editions. it. ' Why customers shop here: "Because of the Runs a customer "wish list" and con­ AM he did. Only.e cQJlIA,,'t tlSe it. The selection, particularly the metaphysical books" (Judy). tinuously searches for wanted titles. IIttomey foes lliotJe .OJIIA hll'Pe hem _e tim" _ Why employees work here: "It's closc to Uf, Sample selections: a Gcnnan pressing' of the pllper COJIIA hll'Pe bortJe. (The lealll plUl 1I11il whercIgotoschool. AndIlove books"(Sandy). Swiss Family Robinson; The In'Pisible Em­ the pm .ere IIlm.oIt too m.ueb.) EDWARD McKAY USED BOOKS So .e WJIJIie II chIIrt instelltl. Most of the pire' first book ever on the KKK; a first 4918 Kingston Pike 'edition of Twain's Roughing It and uteaories lire selj-explA_cory. We chose ""0 Howbooksare arrangeci: by category, alpha­ booIts(01IIWeJl-IetJOp"IIM01IItJOt-1O"'JPeJl-lmlnlm) betized second -edition b.nocents Abroad; and a 11M tiWJei. hop kma it coole to ji",l them., so yotI How long it took to find-HJlddeberryFi"..: three-volume set of erotica by Francois , 30stconds cOJI1Il811"IJe the relAti'Pe MSe oflouting sttIifi" Rabelais, with hand silk-screened etJch pllrtic"lAr store. Asfor the rest, lIS Plliae is G.IIIe" &"8h: couldn't find it Do they carry Rus~die's s.r.,," VerseR THE INCURABLE COLLECTOR illustrations. Use bathroom next door at fotJtl ofSllying, "T~'re 011 yotIr 0'WtI.' sometimes 404 West Church Street. the FarrllDut Diner.

'IOwnshlp' .JIve 7 Knox-Angeles, "film capitol.of the w~rld? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"GOOdbye Longbranch Daze" Of !'lIm 55in by Brock Fiono • • • • • • • I • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • byScoHMc~. If there's anything at all that can be Box 1822, Knoxville, TN 37091, or It's bttnastrangeanddisturbingsummer freedom of-expression, and the art scene said about this town of ours, it's that just grab us at the bar when you see us for film. In April, The Cooli, the 11nef, Hit was throbbing. . Knoxville is rapidly growing and con­ and start talking. K .Wife 11M Her LoPer opened up in New In all this mess, an Italian art flick was stantly changing. One place that has York City. It just so happens that I'm clicking through the projector cogs like escaped suCh "progress" for some IS from New York. Brooklyn, to be cuet. there was no tomorrow. Written and years-in a virtual time warp-is the I grew up in Bensonhurst and have been directed by Giuseppe Tomator; winner Longbranch Saloon. Fiene/McBride actively involved with the film industry of the best foreign film at Cannes 1989 Productions has begun development of . since James Agee wro~ AfriuJ" Q!um. and awarded the Golden Globe, CinemIJ a Knoxville documentary on the spot . So I .~ sitting in my Brooklyn flat Pllrllllito is a fierce testimony to inde­ and will begin filming on location planning my first trip to East Tennessee, pendent artistic vision. The film is about around the last week in August, to con­ when I realized I had be~r go see The the nostalgic sentimentality of a man in tinue until our minds or bank accounts Coolt before leaving for Knoxville, where midlife crisis. We see an inci'edible child are blown. it would obviously never play. I saw it in . in a worldofItalian beauty,a town filled Why a documentary? Well, someone Flatbush the nightbefore I left. Needless with characters from a real imagination. has decided that the comer ofl9th and to say, I was flabbergasted. . Italian history unscathed. The prophetic Cumberland no longer needs to be the People eating shit, fornicating in kitch­ projectionist embodies life. The boy, watering hole of Knox-vegas, but in­ ens, and behaving with basic illicit artistic ~ching for fulfillment and perfection, stead should be another desert for driv­ freedom. Who makt:s films like this? represents the rebirth ofItaly. Love, mo­ ing up and conveniently making our Well,Pe~rGreenawaydoes. Ifyou ever mentary for the youth, is held for an deposits and withdrawals. Armaged­ saw Drllfl8htmuJ,,'S ComrlJCt then you e~mity by the mother. She is beyond don is closer than you might think. Ac­ would begin to understand the "darkly Eisens~ 'svision ofmotherly love. Both cording to sources, in January ofl991 , beautiful images this guy can bring to are strong, but Tomator's mother is the Branch will quietly pass away in her film . .There's a certain chill to camera saintly while Eisens~in's is a symbol of sleep-no struggle, no fear, no pain. movement and cool click to each word the revolution. To·see this film is to sec Our "Longbranch Daze" are numbered. spoken. The slickly futuristic costumes a glimpse of cinematic history during a - We hope to preserve this little niche in The Coolt, designed by Jean Paul Gaul­ wondrous post war, pre-modem Italy. in history so that someday, when the tier, were pulled from the eclectic closet Check it .out when it comes around aliens land, they will know that there of bawdy European decadents. If you again, though you'll probably be ban­ lfIlU once true art and life existing deep missed this film, then you'll never make ished to video fur this one. . Even the within the Tennessee Valley. it out of purgatory. Scourge gives opportUnities to those not Ifyou have some stories or just a little Speaking ot:Purgatqry, thaA'S pure enough to see the film in its Longbranch insight to share, please ~t I fi~ thb';lght of: KQ- . . proper environment. contact us through Fiene/McBride oxville. Cmemaocallysptak- Well, I'm almost done Productions c/o T~p lin, P.O. ing, ofcourse. I mean, with here, but I have some RottweUm, Dogs from Hell closing remarks fur andI~Fmhmmaming those in Knoxville. outofEastTenncssee, I fig­ t: Betsy Pickle is an ured I'd' be lucky to find idiot.I'venevcrmet someone other than Billy herpersona1ly, but her Bob and his sister crank­ criticisms reck ofsome Hollywoodsyco­ ing on a old 8-millime­ phant. She'll give 3 stars ·to anything ter up in the holler. with that simplistic Hollywood syste­ Boy, was I wrong. mology. If she were to watch every ' When I stepped off Fassbinder film ever made while a eu­ the plane at McGee-Ty- . nuch nibbled on her car, then maybe she son, my friends were standing there with would begin to understand the mysteri­ -toothy grins: The Coolt was playing at a ous beauty of film, but I still hope she local cinema. Acommercia1AMCThea­ wouldn't write about them. ter to boot. We jumped in the pick-up · As for Roger Moore, there's hope. and went careening towards Cinema Maybe a dose ofPassolini could get him Four. As we passed Hooters, I .was down to earth. Be~ryet, I heard about beginning to believe in this scruffy little a new alternative film series thatwill start city. I called Brooklyn and had my ap­ !!Ometime this full at the Knoxville Mu­ pointments canceled so 1 could stick seum ofArt. I challenge him to see every around and see Knoxville unfuld like a film there and review them fairly. Maybe spring rose. we could even meet and talk about real As the surnmerwore on, CinemIJPllrll­ films and not the Hollywood co-opted tiito alighted upon Knoxville. Love was advertisements for the likes of Hardees spreading to every hean, and the dark . and Mello Yello. cinematic forces were at bay. Pllrtuiito In closing, I would like to say I feel opened in New York in 1989, but who good in general about Knoxville's future cares? New York, the scwer ofthe world, asacultura1filmcen~r. There'splqltyof is not Knoxville, God's country. People local artists, actors, photographers, paint­ here were talking in fresh terms. Artists ~rs, writers, and visual medians to make were being thrown out of some colony, cinematic history worldwide. And that's a new white marble museum was open­ a pleasant swprise for a Big City trend­ ing, the bible belt was uprising agaffist mcis~r like myself. K "The following Progrllm eontlJins mllterilll wbieb mlly not be suitlJble for that KISS represents a surrogate for the guest "cultural terrorist" Swifty Sewell. ebiltlre.n, drunlt little W rllts or properly setlllted-lIIIults, your pllrents, or things we should have obtained, but "Show me a man who'll stick a needle in . reillity. And some mllteritll on this progrllm mlly not be suitllble for you. If didn't. "Well," he concludes, "I listen to his arm," Swifty preaches, "and I'll show - better stuff now, though." And sand­ you someone who knows how to have a you're loolting for II wimpy/TV show, better flip it ner to NieltelotleofJ, . wiched between these segments are live­ good ~e. Hi, Mom!" He then wraps Cops--why tlon'tyou'turn on the newsl-Gerilltlo. So ebeelt the WeI. taped vids of bands like the Flying Pole­ it up with a demonstration ofhis operatic stielt with us... )f} . Otherwise, cats and the Melvins. But MTV it ain't. abilities. As his voice bellows through That's obvious once Rus Harper (a.k.a. the sixth Boor, a station manager daJ:ts the Wizard of Scum) introduces 1he intotheQ)OtroIboothand,pattingMcBride's 1 Wiza,.d's Closet, in which he has "com­ head lovingly, says, "Poor Scott has for­ plete creeps from Ft. Sanders come out gotten Rule #4: Noise levels must not and explain themselves." disturb adjacent areas." What more fit­ Meanwhile, back in studio A, the cast ting conclusion to the second episode? is taking a short brcakfrom taping. "1be In the future, McBride plans to bring ChurchofChristisinstudioB," McBride _ in loa1 tnnsient"Chief," the "grand warns, "so we'll have to smoke our daddy wazoo weirdo," as well as cigarettes in back. We don't want video by Whitey. And there are by Phnip WoIH . arumblewiththeChmtians."Halpcr, prospectsofgoingwider. "It's Something sinister's going on in stu­ got together with friends Josh Beach, who's dressed in a pink rufHed shirt, &irly funded, and it's open dio A ofpublic-access Channel 20, high Sam Ward, and Tim Steed (brother of puke-green tights, multi-colored ~ the public," McBride atq>~JdmutBuildingdowntDWl1. the in&mous) to form the improv group - combuboots,andaCharlesManson says. "We're really lucky Set out: before a black cloth backdrop On the Edge. The team performed once T -shirt, tu~ at his chest-length hair to have Channel 20." stand various bar stools and a studded a month a the Bijou. "We'd each come and adds, "Iwannabeonthei1"show." Of course, one might bar, on which lie a miniature cow, a troll up with a character and start going at it," Five minutes later, they extinguish assert, that's all in the eye of doll, and the bust of "Stellay" a manne­ McBride recounts. their cigs, finish offthe beverages in their the beholder. quin sporting a fringed bra and peacock One night somebody from Channel styrofoam cups (coffee, right?), and file But the next time you're flipping by mask. In acomerloomsanother~e­ 20 came down to tape their show, and backintothestudioforanintCrviewwith Channel 20 and run across something quin, wearingonlypantiesand3-Dglasa. one thirig lead to another. All of them WUfK. program manager Benny "B­ disturbingly strange-sandwiched some­ "How come I don't get a desk," asks class clowns by nature and" sharing ~n­ Boy" Smith. Moments into taping, two where between 4bertllrilln ROfInIltllhle host Jon Wallace, "like those other guys?" tempt for the typical sitcom, the bo¥Shad guys dressed as maids amble through the and Gil1e Me the Bibk-you may have just But directorScott McBride's too busy to no trouble translating their improv to a studio dusting everything in their entered the bewildering landscape of­ answer. In fact he's bec;,n running back diffi:rent medium. path.Hncluding Jon, Rus, and Benny. ­ UN T.V. Who knows? If you're not and forth from studio to control booth Take UN T.V!s first episode [to pre­ "There's no other way to explain it, " says weak of heart, you may find yourself for the last forty minutes. Rt:ady at last, ririereWednesday,Sept.12at9:30p.m.], .Wallace. "It's UNT.V. That about sums callingSoottto\Uluntta')OOrhdp. Dwbdcss seated in his booth, McBride calls calmly for example, which includes a tourism ad it up." he needs all the help he can get. Write to through the intercom, "Ok, after five." by General JeoffiyTomas, president-fur- Taping concludes with with another Untelevision

Township ~Ive 9 continued from pllge 3 Spicey's * * * 1/2 Great wings. That's a ll I know about this place. Too many hoods hanging out next door so I usually stay way. But the wing's are killer. Mexicon grub on Tuesday nightw/99¢ Dos Esquisl

S.feno's ****1/2 Really on original I • ( • . ploce and on original toste. Fun to hong out and gaze through the wi ndow While munch­ ing on whoJe.wheot pizzo. Sometimes it's under cooked, hence the half star. Also gets very smokey with all the smoking dead heads wha love their nicotine almost os much as a Jerry Garcia guitar solo.

The Torch Hoven't eo1en here in several years; na comments.

Varsity Inn * * * * The best breakfast in • town, ond a decent lunch to boot. Heavy on the starch, but moybeonedoyGuswili serve ac Ine some fruit and boot this place up to five stars. Great staff and a 0001 atmosphere. As far os Icon tell, there is never been a college student working here, which is nice. The biscuits are heavenly and the omelets kick butt.

VIC ancllnl's **** See Good Times Deli review above. , ,~ " -li . ~ ,f Custom Screen Printing for any of your special event, company shirts or team uniforms. 817 19th Streete S23-960S e Behind Taco Bell ,

fT5iE fj) ISC f£XCH9l9){fjt£ .

13'l1ty SUL P.8.fl.'lYE IIISiII.t. tp~ 'V'uleo 'BtIiWl SfuIruy's Oft Cfu,prruut "'vlalllGlJ ?flU! & 'llsul CDmptlCt 'Discs 573-5710

I

I 0 Township .lIve \ . ~ Short 'Music Reviews

The Gunbun". SonkYouth PawpawPalch lVirgin USA) Goo (DGC) . Arkansas usually leaves a bod taste in my mouth. Memories The newest release from the self-described "Lower-East side of dork, nasty smelling nighls and rude redneck cops were scum-rocker" band is, well, good. less nOisy than earher the sum of my Arkansas experience 'til now, Then I got releases, Goo leans morelawardstroighklp rock with tunes PaWpaw PolICh and found that these Arkansonians are like "Goo," "Titanium Expose," and "Kool Thing" (which greatJ The disc opens with "Put a tail on your kite," which has a videa out on MTV featuring Chuck D. and a great shot has been getting lois of request airplay on WUTK, giving it of Kim Gordon's butt). The J.p. features drawings by instant-hit status. Song after song, this is a sotisfying debut Raymond Pettiban, whose Work hos graced the album from a band thot hos come a long way sin<» their original - covers of Block Flag. '88 demo tape. The production is crisp, the melodies "Titanium Expase,"· the lost cut on the album, uses two alluring, and the songwriting is sometimes poignant and guitars interwoven for an interestingly demented melody. interesting, sinart and raucous. The disc wos produced by The music on this cut is far better than the lyrics. "Kool Jim Dickinson, whose credils include the Replocemenls and Thing" is perhaps the inost Significant piece, with Chuck D. the Rolling Stones. The Gunbunnies recently gigged at coaching Kim Gordon ("Yeah .. :tell'em like it is ... word up") ellA's (with Knoxville's Ethereal Mission openi ng) and it wos and Kim ("Hey Kool thing, come here, sit down beside .. truly a rock' n' roll show at ils best. Go see these guys-they me ... there is something I gotta ask you ... 1justwanna know are a joy live. Chris Maxwell reminded me of Elvis Costello what are you going to do for me .. .1 mean are you 90nna bath as guitarist and os singer~ngwriter. Put on this disc liberate us girls from male corporate oppression?"). Per­ and shake loose your old view of Arkansos. haps this is an indicotor of something that's been on Kim's , Lane. Baird mind-the growing distance between black and white music. During an interview with l.l. KoolJ. in the September '89 Elvis eos.. llo and the AHraetions SPIN, Kim kept the focus on venues that l.l. could not Girls+. :.Girls-$&Girls (Demon Records) pa,ssibly discuss intelligently. When she asked for his This is a definitive collection of Elvis sounds. The printed thoughls on corporate mai nstream rack, she fi rst had to give material with the CD is excellent background for anybody an example of what she meant before he stated, HI think it's interested in Mr. Costello and Co. during the 1975-1985 cool." But Kim goes on to prove a point in all this: "I·have era. A short tale 0' the times follows each song title in the more access to his wOrkHtven if it is superficial, wa1ching booklet These bils explain such the NYC black video show on diversities os song title origins 'UHF-thon l.l. will ever have ta (i.e,"'Oliver's Army,' Written on mine. We wondered if Easy-E and the plane back from Belfast, but , Professor Griff hang out and tum looki ng at the song's iti nerary that each other on to new, hotwhite-boy t might just have been a coinci­ underground rock culture." Accord­ . j dence") to the writer's attitude at ingta Don Fleming, singer/guitarist the time ('''Pump it Up,' scrawled , of B.A.L.l. and Velvet Monkeys, on the fire stairs of a Newcastle . U~t white people don't under­ hotel in an amphetamine and stand rap. Ithink there's a rift where vodka frenzy.") The photos a~ · white people aren't keeping up that companying this collection are much, anymore. They don't know equally interesting-from gangly, much abaut the different artisls and young, and horn-rimmed to old, · the different songs. And I don't see fuzz-faced, and (oddly enough) that it's improving." Ki n9 of Americo. The collection is Sonic Youth is now touring, on Elvis's own Demon Records-so with nearby stops in Cincinnati and sorry, impart only. There are lois . · Atlanta and with opening ocls STP of "hils, H some norKJ.S. singles, (facituri ng Bob Bert of Pussy Galore) and add B-sides. Some of the re­ and Bewitched. cording quality is a bit ~Iow par when compared with other released material, but the quality of the overall collection and the rarities within are Human Radio worth the purchase. Human Radio (CBS'Records) Lane. Baird Memphis-based Human Radio recently made their Knoxville debut at Planet Earth during a notional tour to Taoist Cowboys promote their self-titled CBS release. This five-man band Ch% played a tight, professional set to a highly enthused crowd, One of Knoxville's best bands rKNI con be heard on a . ahhough the stage wos a bit cramped with equipment and cassette-onlyrelease called "Chola." I don't know what the people. But PE's upstairs proved ta be on excellent venue hell Chalo means, but then again, what dOes anything for this mixture of musical styles-the vocals carried well, and mean' I do krKNI the music and the songwriting are far the mix was more than adequate. Human Radio opened above the usual crap thot posses my ears these days, and with a more polished version of "Me one;! Elvis" than I this tape made "instant car status," which is no small feat. remember from an earlier shaw and kept this smooth sound It sound. like Il cross between the Feelies, lou R~, and the all evening. Most of the cheerful and upbeat songs went DefrancO Family-with mony elemenls from out in left field over well with the crowd, who seemed familiar with most of thrown in ta give the whole stew an originol flavor thot con the material (which hos been receiying a fair shore of be slurped up again and again. airtime on WUTK). The lead guitarist (obviously a fan 'of One of the Cowboys's trump cords is their diversity in Adrian Belew) on excellent hand and manipulated his "singing and songwriting, with everybody but drummer Jeff has Bills' (who adds great fills and oddball, yet appropriate instrument for all it was worth. ~ Interestingly, you almost parts) spewing forth their own songs and lead vocals. For never sow him; he wos ~ted next to the drum kit all unkrKNIn reasons, Brad Deaton doesn't get to do any of his evening due to a recent hernia operation. songs but does contribute one hell of a ball-bustin' version All in all, I feel Humon Radio has a great deal of pop of "Bools" by Nancy Sinotra (you know, Frank's kid). talent, and this release is proof positive, from pop ("These The best tunes seem ta be "Summer Alone in NYC," "Not . are the Days") to funk (HMonkey Suit") to rock ("1 Don't Even Johnny" (with locol rack-goddess Peg Hambright from Wanna Know;. My friend thaught itwos too smooth and the Bois on fiddle), "Baby Pool" (with Terry Schmidt on sox), smarmily done, but I liked it. Strange, clever stuff. and the encare-like performonce of "School Girl." Go buy Lane. Baird this thong and see I ain't Iyin'. This is .good stuffl Clutch Cargo tontinued on pRBe 12 MIIS;& Rniews, umt't1from p.11 pleasant tune that even it spent a couple "of - MUSIC W I TH A MISSION weeks in the Americon top fortyl If you've : England New Order enjoyed New Order's latest works, then _ WorkJ in /IAotion (Womer Bros.) - Although New Order is supposedly in the Electronic will drop easily inlo your c:::D - Township jil'e talks with midst of a short hiatus, the members of the player. A full album is reportedly in the· - works and slated fOr late fall release. Is the : famed Br~tish donce bond have actually been quite busy. 'World in Motion," their "Electronicsound" a hintofthe future of New - new single, was well-known os the unofficial Order¥ - Ethereal Mission, theme song for England's notionol soccer TenyDavis : Lance leam during World Cup ploy. A few of the by Baird footbollers guest on vocals, while one even lyrics, and they censor me and add SUS" chants out a nifty little rop. 'World in . gestions here and there. The lyrics are a Motion," which become New Order's first Very personal type of chore far me. number-one song in the UK, is stronger thon TJ: YOtJ guys all 90 10 church. most of the moterial from the group's Tech­ Joel: We are aU Christians. nique album. The track boosts a heavier St.w: We fMI WIry strongly about that boss line and on overoll denser, fuller $Ound subject. . thon most of thei r previousefforts. Although . T.I: Do you come from CICII'IseMJtiw bock­ the omni-present "house-piano" sound tinkles grounds¥ through the song, it doesn't overshadow the tc.vin: PrettyClCll'lseMJtiw, in a sense, butwe classic ahernotiWl donce sound that mokes are free thinking, open-minded kinclo ­ New order $0 irreSistible. The vinyl and CD guys. We're actually just plain Tennes- single version have four mixeseoch, though _folk. . only two in common. New Order IoWIrs will RicIa We stay home a lot. need both configurations, since the vinyl's Kwfn: We're homebodies. We've played two.different mixes may be the best. (Note: Planet Earth, ellA Gurus, and Midnite "Subbelea Mix" is named after a table lop Sun [in Nashville], but we are basicolly version of the soccer game; "Carobinieri homebodies. Two of us are in college, Mix" is named after the speciaillolian police Rick hosa degree in educotion, andJoeI­ . - , force that kept the soccer 'hoodlums' in line is nearly done. during the World Cup ploy.) TJ: Well, you guys must practice on owfuIlot. Rwenge St.w: About twice a Week. One True Passion lCapilol USA) Kwim If we got poid 10 practice we'd do it Revenge is the side project bond of Peter more, but we all have jobs. . Hook, New Order's "rockstor" bossployer. Kwfn: And besides, we might kill each . Revenge was formed by Hook during New other. Order's artistic hiatus 10 fulfill his touring TJ: So )OU hoWl a demo on the woy¥ rock«and aspirations. Revenge, mode up . ~:We'regoingIoSounclVortex in Nash­ of Hook and two Monchester musicians, is ville.lt'sarealprofessionolstudio. Robb scheduled to do some louring 10 keep Hook Earls isgoing 10 engineer itand.Jet Block hoppywhile New Order tokes a break. One fodory's 0aWI Willys is going to help us True Passion is a slight departure from pres­ produce it. ent day New Order and harkens bock 10 the KwiruWekketh4t.JetBlockFactory;theyore Power, CorrupIion, and Lies era. Revenge is the best bunch you'd ever wont 10 hang more rock edged and less discoesque. -one with. They'WI helped us quite a bit. True Passion is clearly not a great Piece of TJ: You guys watch a lot of TV ¥ work, ahhough New Order fans should find AU: We don't care far any of the new TV ito quite likeable necessity. Thedefcut is the shows, except far ~ Simpson5-l don't first single, "Pineapple Face," one of the core ifit is.trendyl And New KidsvideOs. summer's hottest donce tracks. We've been osIced 10 join the 'Magic' summer tour, $0 "we con have lois of ElecIl.,.M fun." Yeah, we'll be hangin; tough with Getting AwaY Wi/h It (Womer Bros.) New Kids-and Donnie, if we don't fall While Revenge slonts more 10 the donce­ through anytropdoors in CMland and oriented rock side, Electronic bOunces bock bleed lois of blood. 10 the pop-disco end of New Order's spec:­ TJ: You guys speak very well of other Iocol trum. Electronic is Bernard Summer, New bonds. Order's vocalist, and friends Neil Tennant s.v. We get along with everybody, and . (pet Shop 80ysI and Johnny Morr (Smiths, we admire bonds with similar attitudes­ The The). Getting Away Wi/h Itis light, pop­ especially Hypertribe. We reollyogree alternative disco. The tune is just what you with the spirit of mutual promotion and would expect if you crossed New Order with cooperation they have. There ore lao the Pet Shop-s. In foet, it's ~ a light and mony problems to overoome os musl­ cians far us 10 be berating each other. . TJ: Some of these people ore really insecure about themselWls, so they tend 10 do just . that. You guys likelggy Poe, right9 The Edward McKay Bookstore Alh Oh yeah, we Icwe Iggy, usea 10 listen 10 him all the time. Remember "In the gas MORE THAN 75,000 USED BOOKS AND $tation where I work [everybody sings] ...everybody treats me jUst like a ·1,500 USED CD'S IN STOCK je,rkl" " - BUY • SELL • TRADE M-Th 9 am to 9 pm F/Sat 9 am to 10 pm Sun 12 am to 9 pm 588-0331 4830 Kingston Pike (next to Kroger) 12 'IOwnshlp .JIve .

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INCR~DIBl~ Discounts on names like · Pearl ' Slingerlano Sonor Sunn Fostex ,Korg EnsQniq Paiste Jackson Krem,er Soundtech Zildjian Sabian Squier Fender Gibson Yorkville sound Martin Washburn Charvette Beyer Morrell Shure ETA

To enter the Township Jive Gon~o Giveaway, h1f out this form and'drop ~ by the WUll( : offices (l 03 Andy Holt Tower) or Roven Remrds on the strip. The deadline for this • giveaway is Tuesday, 4, 1990. • . , September PrivQte . lessons are available! ·· ~_-:----,.....,...-----:---:::--Phone ~--:--~.-;... : 7509 Kingston Pk (next ,to Subway) ~~~----~~~----~-.• ~~--~~--~~~~~~ . 588-6731 ~~~~~~--~~~~~~ .•. In Oak Ridge: 9217 Oak Ridge Hwy c__ ~ ____~~~~~ ______, ~. '. Please cftIIch ancihersheet ~ IIICISSllly. Willlinll entries wil be vried, so be honest. Good lor 9/1 flO on~ . AIcohok beverages not • 927 -814 1 • iKiJded. ~n~ wil llteNt styfish Township rwe ktilt. Neil ~iJIe lor i~, d'smembemwnt, or ilness rem,g from said gNeaway. • • .....__ ~ ____~~ ____.-w ••• ,...... '';;:'' ToWnship Jive 13 How Not to Spike 'a Rain Forest by Chris Irwin Welcome bock. Not much haschonged in ofthe~ke, an expensive diamond-edged disk Knoxville since you' ... been gone. Room Haas blade the sawmills use. One noil could chip or is stiR poisoning the air in Ft. Sanders ~ blunt the blade, c:ostingthem anywhere from dumping upwards cl300,OOO gallons a day $10,000$15,000 10 replace. Of ClOUI38 the oftheircrop inlothe ..... (oongrats by the way timber industry began screaming and using 10 the enterprising urban ecoguerilla who their pawarful bbbies 10 get this "terrorist" stomped those wonderful green foc4sIaps in adivitystopped. Howe!. could theyoonvince frontclthe facility-betlerwotch it, Haas;)IOU' re the sIoIeand MderaI government 10 alowthem pissing oIfsomeone bigand green). Tapwo1er 10 ransack our riational tT8asur8s~ Some might stiR IasIes kke dorox ~ kind of like the rwIW bug­ argue thatdestroying hundredsclthousandsof _ spray aftertaste). You sHU get stoned on oK the • trees which were old before Columbus was carbon rnonaxide from the cars on the strip. born is the real terrorism: AD sorts of interesting things have happened Naturally, the timber ' industry espoused lately in the forest, though. Two irallt citizens propaganda painting the picture cI blades rec:entfy nailed a "manifas!o" 10 the forest exploding and leaving bodies lying about as a servioedoor, rescued Srnokeythe bear, and ,. result of this horrible terrorist spiking. Needless NEW' Items arriving daily pIQoed him with "Stumpy the EX.ne" so the 10 my, the facts were newr mentioned in their forest service would sHnhavea masoot. Totop propaganda - 1) that O.S.H.A regulations NEW Greeting Cards • NEW Imported Clothes all this off, theychoined themselves 10 the doors required plexiglassshieiding around the blade; of the forest service. Needless 10 !tJIf, all the 2) that they couldn't provide evidence cl one Tie Dye • Hand Dyed Silk Scarves _ media attention this action brought had many single death or injuryasa resultclan forth Firstl of the fraddies {I'or8St diH8f'lioe ernpIo).esI spiking; and 3) that they ...... atways worned 2104 Cumberland Avenue sweating. The poor forest service was having in adYOnc:e cI a spiked area (the point is, after enough trouble trying 10 disc:xMll' who had· 011,10 slop the cutting, not get the disk blade). (Near Davis-Kidd Bookstore) spiked one of their ex.fl'ees. This activity ended in a tac:hnology war cl . Apparently some kids got tired cl seeing out sOrts. When someone in the timber industry (or 546-1403 notional bestturned inlolumberand poooded maybe the forest service) came up with the some spikes inlo a couple of trees. This Up!8t~ bright idea of USing meIoI ~ ta locate freddies and the timber rnongoIs so much that spikes, clAting resumed. After a few weeks they p" a bounty out on the spikers' heads-a some inllO'tOtiVa individual came up with the little CNer $50,000 for information Ieoding 10 idea of Using quartz and ceromicspikes fired 10 their capture. What's so ludicrous is that the a cane "10," which brought logging 10 a spiking was purely an amateur job, using stondstiH for a while. Recently, the logging regular house noils (the kind you would put up industry out West decided 10 cut the trees a picture with) in a circle inloalreadydowned regardless of wheiher they were spiked or not. trees. If the forest service tMtI' disccMM's a real Even though there is only minimal danger in spiking, Iwont a front roN seat 10 watch their cuffing a spiked tree, Earth Firstl no longer reaction. (Kids, can )IOU my "duster freak"~ I endorses spiking since the industry doesn't thought )IOU couId/) My bet is that these are seem 10 give a damn about worker safety. some angry high school kids whO SOYl the Since ecoguerilla work is rwtIW 10 the Appo­ segment on Earih Firstl on 60 Minutes and Iochians, the timber industry and the freddies decided 10 do something aboutthe r6peoftheir possibly think that if they ron came dOVffl hard favori1e local forest, the Cherokee (which by the on the first CNert case they disooYer it will way is OYer 60% targeted by the forest di~ discourage others from attempting 10 slop the servioe for "timber manogement'1. Whoever destruction clour bests. The ultimata resu~will the spikers are, their heam were in _the right · be a mare inbmed, educated, and cautious place; they just didn't know how 10 go about ecoguerilla emerging from the lessons learned spiking in the trodilionol Eorth Firstl style. by the Cherokee spiking. What makes Eorth "... heard many stories about how spiking Firstl spiking so ~ is their cell-likestruo­ started. M(f'avorile invoNes the redwood ~ lure. Nwer-larger!han blr, always with in Ca~fomia. It seems a c:ertoin businessman people you knowand implicitly trust, and newr decided he wonted 10 0Vffl all·of the redwood ~ talking 10 anyone about your ac::tivities. It's like forest not currently held by the government, 'so an integrated circuit: you can bse one circuit he bought S8Y8rOllarge stands. Unfortunately (ceIQ without bringing the whole board (guerilla for the best, he overextended himseWand ~dOVffl. began a wholesale liquidation of his assets lfyoowouldJike 10 leam mont abOut spiking (that's trees 10 you and me). For some strange or dher ecoguerilla m8th0ds, you might wont . reason this irritotedthe area's environmental 10 drop by the Block and the Read (beneath extremists when they saw some oftheirf'avorita Laurel theater on the comer Of 16th St. and thousandyear. old trees trashed for some extra . Laurel Ave.) 10 check out the information they pocket change. So to slop him and the industry, might have on hand. I recommend the.foe>. someone came up with the wonderful idea 9f defense Manual. . driving 60 penny noils into the trees and cutting And so I'll IeCwe you with a hne from an old the headsoffwith a pairofboltcutlars, making Eorth First/lyric: "Spike a tree for Jesus, blow a them impossible 10 remove . . dozer for God," (not that , in any way support This dl'O't'8 the timber indus1ry batty. The such awfullyrics).)t reason it was soeWve was the ultirnatelorget

UT's NEW MUSIC SOURCE 14 Township .JIve Knoxville, Tenne.... Dr. Henry Higgins And Hi. Jackson and Central _Rhym ing Dictionary meet, The strow as I walk in Krakow through the side streets falls rawly of old downlown on the paw. passed the sIores and warehouses, Darwin admiring Bits of cot. the rolling doors Dogs cooghing under bushes and window frames, like used cars. flaking paint, and the acidically aged brick Chris Sumberg of early 20th century architecture, with their block lettered advertising fading from the high walls. , . JFG Calfee The Best Port of the M.eol Philco Yoor Better Buy In lV's, While lily Floor, loy's Three Little Pigs Packing, Floyd Roach Furniture Co. warehouse and showroom / American Clclhing and John H. Doniels cuslom mode suits, Fronk's Place, Wallace's Shoe Store, We're in the backseat now; and Big Don's Elegant Junk four hundred miles out of the mountains, somehow still exist among­ . the other couple up front, driving us the renovoled buildings, down the some stretch of rood restored for the we've followed for eight hours. noslolgic hearts My head's in her lop and her throat of those thinking they is almost purple as she watches the sunset. . can buy time and history. Once, when we were in schoal, she looked The new musically blues bars, up clossy jazz restalKants, at the sun and showed that ridged softness canvened loft apartments, of her underchin and I knew we must be and New York style curi%rt shops together. campele with the decaying sidewals I know better, now, than to ask her and air of yesterday. what she's thinking, but we're together, But I'd rather see the speeding along through Memphis, streets and buildings the apricat-hued neons blinking on, enguifed in the despairing strobing by, alternately lighting flames of prostitutes, then shadowing her face. thieves, and drunken bums, David Kitchell than see the resurrection of a mythical city for the n

nlling Longing for something unreal If I could start anywhere, I'd start here, with the !louse, ripping • She was' looking down at me from the fulf.length it to pieces, rendering it to soil window. And I had not seen her a few minules nothing would -grow from ago. - except willow trees, wild gross, But now she sload there mysleriously. Iwas just and a green-eyed girl. for enough away 10 see the outline of her body, If she's a goddess or not, though distorted from the distance between us. I can't soy, but I'll go on as I began, reducing ~h Was she really nude. I didn't want 10 stare but structure I come to, turning I kept turning 10 take another loOk. Did she as time allows, the surface under, know the hidden 10 the light. I was here. Or even care. Did she want me 10 The sPQde's a lovely Ioo~ see ~I her. Or did she just want my reaction of acting and so's the hoe. Sweoting t like I didn't. in the cool woke the house leaves what sort of man shops at «~£';, ? 05 it travels Iowards the sun, I can't And I had wanled 10 move closer. To make oot deny the structure of my hands. her ' I feel her touch; I feel it there. figlKe. Her legs, her breasts, her face. Still David ,Kitchell blurred in the anonymity. But I knew it WC'AJ1d , all urban and urbane, "'swank andsuave, red hot and cool, 1. be 100 obvious. L. Hello also very, very sophisticated. And she just stood there. Not moving. Creo .. J ing . hello all you block froggy grogs some doubt. But I'd swear I Cooght her turning little waddle wolly toes. J her head slightly. Once or twice. And I still You live live lolly grots, believe I sow more than a mannequin. PIoc:ed Ait frightfu l wally nots. in If you feel oh, and byth e way, ladies dig the window of someone's apartment, where it the grotty greedy knacks «~£,,., . Served its purpose for a little whi le. For even . came and see th is I had been caught. longing for something muddy luscious rumble tumps. unreal. Heor the drippy slowbli nd tu mb les . the most, too ~ of rumble th umbs and Charles Swa nson fuddy bu mbles. Eric Hoke Cumberland Avenue• BehindWalgr eens • 523-3898 • Open After Noon

Tow n.ship Jive 15 . ...: