Every US Diocese/Eparchy Is Required…

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Since 2002, the Catholic Church in the U.S.A. has followed a set of rules initiated by the bishops of the country and approved by the Vatican for dealing with sexual abuse of minors by priests or deacons: The Essential Norms for Diocesan/Eparchial Policies Dealing with Allegations of Sexual Abuse of Minors by Priests or Deacons. Every U.S. diocese/eparchy is required…

• To have a written policy for dealing • To investigate promptly and objectively with sexual abuse of minors by priests, any allegation of sexual abuse of minors deacons and other Church personnel by a priest or deacon

• To appoint a victim assistance • To remove offending priests or deacons coordinator, who is available for the permanently from Church ministry immediate pastoral care of persons who • To prohibit the transfer of report having been sexually abused as a offending priests or deacons for minor by a priest or deacon ministerial assignment in another • To report allegations concerning child diocese or eparchy sexual abuse to and to civil authorities • To receive necessary background cooperate with the civil investigations information before permitting a priest • To establish a review board of at or deacon to exercise ministry in a least five persons, mostly members of diocese or eparchy the , who counsel the bishop on laity • To protect the rights of accusers and of allegations and review local policies the accused dealing with sexual abuse of minors

For more information and to read the full text of the norms, visit: http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/child-and-youth-protection/charter.cfm Five 5Ways to protect your children from sexual abuse

Parents play the primary role in educating their children about Tell your children to sexual abuse. Here are 5 tips for report an unsafe touch. teaching safety to the little ones 4 Let your children know they God has entrusted to you. should tell you if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe around any adult or peer. You can also identify other Keep it practical. Teach adults they can tell about your children the differences unsafe touches. 1 between safe touches and unsafe touches. Tell your children you trust them. If your child Tell your children that makes a report to you, believe saying “no” is okay. 5 him or her. Tell them it is not Empower your children to their fault and that you love 2 say “no” if anyone makes them. Immediately bring the them feel uncomfortable allegation to the attention of or touches them public authorities. inappropriately.

Give your children a way to alert you. Tell 3 your children they can use an excuse or share a special “code-word” with you to to alert you about an unsafe person or situation. Promise to Protect Pledge to Heal

Sexual abuse is about the victim. and concerns are taken seriously, and 1 Many people are affected by abuse but a victim/survivor’s suffering, pain, and the individual most impacted is the anger are acknowledged. victim who has suffered a violation of trust that can affect his or her entire life. You cannot always predict who will 7 be an abuser. The residual effects of having been Experience shows that most abuse is 2 abused can last a lifetime. committed by someone who has gained The sense of violation goes deep into a the trust of a victim/survivor and his/ person’s psyche and feelings of anger, her family. shame, hurt and betrayal can build long after the abuse has taken place. Those There are behavioral warning signs who have been abused can heal, but 8 of child abusers. if often takes time, therapy, and the Some abusers isolate a potential victim support of loved ones. by giving him or her undue attention or lavish gifts, others allow young people No one has the right to have to participate in activities which their 3 access to children. parents or guardians would not approve, No one, no matter who they are, has an such as watching pornography, drinking automatic right to be around children or alcohol, using drugs, and excessive young people who are in the care of the touching, such as wrestling and tickling. Church without proper screening and without following the rules. People can be taught to identify 9 grooming behavior. Common sense is not all that common. Grooming behaviors are the actions 4 Dioceses, schools, parishes, and which abusers take to project the especially families, must educate image that they are kind, generous, themselves and others on how to caring people, while their intent is to protect children. lure a minor into an inappropriate relationship. Offenders can be patient Child sexual abuse can be prevented. and may groom their victim, his or her family, or community for years. 5 It is critical to build safety barriers around children and young people to Background checks are important. keep them from harm—such as protective 10 guardians, codes of conduct, background Background checks in churches, schools evaluations, policies and procedures, and and other organizations keep predators safety training programs. away from children both because they scare off some predators and because Feeling heard leads toward healing. they uncover past actions which 6 should ban an adult from working or Relief from hurt and anger often comes volunteering with children. when one feels heard, when one’s pain

No longer wants Declining academic to see a particular performance Tries to hide use person they had of technology been close to No longer interested in Changes in activities they used to enjoy personality Demonstrates Tries to get aggressive minors alone behavior or constantly angry Commits physical and emotional boundary violations

Keeps secrets Withdraws from with minors Allows or family or friends Gives lavish gifts encourages to minors minors to break laws or rules Has inappropriate or suggestive conversations Is overly interested in with minors spending time with minors

Takes photos without Does not believe the rules apply to them approval, or asks minors (or, does not follow rules or protocols) to send them photos … and These Warning Signs of Perpetrators The Child Sex Abuse Crisis:

MINISTRY RESOURCE Q&A for Parents

Every April Catholic parishes and schools across the U.S. participate in National Child Abuse Prevention Month. While dioceses work year-round to prevent abuse, during the month of April a special emphasis is place don the importance of learning how to protect the vulnerable from this evil.

Below is a list of questions and answers for parents prepared by the Secretariat for Child and Youth Pro- tection at the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Every child deserves a safe environment, and these questions and answers will help parents ensure that a safe environment for children is a reality.

What should I do if I suspect my child has picks them up. You are not accusing someone of been abused? abuse you are communicating your concern about inappropriate behavior. Let the diocesan/eparchial Call the police or social services department in victim assistance or safe environment coordinator your community. Reassure your child that he/she know of your concerns. Let the supervisor of the did nothing wrong and that he/she did the right thing by telling you. You may want to find a child counselor experienced in child abuse matters. Call the victim assistance person in your diocese.

My child came home and told me about being shown pornography. What should I do?

Call the police. There is no good reason for an adult to share pornography with children. Assure your child that they are not in trouble, that they did the right thing by telling you. If necessary, help them process the experience by talking about your feelings toward pornography and why it is wrong. If the child was shown pornography at school, let program know of them as well. Keep reporting school officials know about it as well. Call the victim your concerns until someone hears you. Your cour- assistance person in your diocese. age to report those types of incidents may be very I get the ‘creeps’ from one of the volunteers helpful. Reporting can let the person know their at Church. He always has his hands on kids behavior is unacceptable, and it lets them know in one way or another. What should I do? they are being watched. If it is poor judgment, this gives the person the opportunity to change the be- Listen to your ‘gut.’ Offenders give warning signs havior. that knowledgeable adults can use; your ‘gut’ often

MINISTRY RESOURCE Q&A for Parents

Why do I have to be trained? I did not do any- safety, fire prevention, driver’s training, etc.- Per thing wrong, this is a clergy problem. sonal safety programs should have age appropri- ate lessons that give children the skills they need Child sexual abuse is a widespread societal prob- to protect themselves without frightening them. lem, not a Catholic clergy problem. The more peo- Keeping children unaware of the dangers around ple who are trained to recognize the warning signs them does not keep them safe. Predators count on of an offender, the safer our children are. In the af- children not knowing what to do. termath of the clergy scandal, the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People requires I believe morality should be taught in the the Church to train both adults and children to home, not in school. Does my child have to prevent child sexual abuse. This is not because the attend these training classes? Church thinks all adults are the problem. It is be- You are right, morality is best taught in the home, cause the solution to preventing child sexual abuse but this is personal safety training, not morality depends on caring adults knowing what to do. class and not sex education. Catholic moral theol- My children are too young to hear this. Ar- ogy compels us to keep children safe. Parents are en’t you destroying the ‘innocent period’ of the primary educators of their children, and those their development? who do not want their children to participate in the school/religious education portion of the training Teaching children about boundaries and safe may opt out. They should still receive the parent touches is not sex education. There are many portion of the training for assistance in how to safety issues we teach children: bike safety, water teach their children to be safe.