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HONIWeek Eleven October 17 SOIT

Senate Results: Writing, women, From the Bank What Senator Pat and wowsers: to the Birdcage: means for you at 70 ’s drag kings

CAMPUS 4 PROFILE 11 FEATURE 12 Contents This Week

The Third Drawer SRC Pages 8 Sex, Messages, Reception. 19 Mason McCann roadtests the iPhone 5 The Back Page 23 Presenting the Honi Laureates Spooky Soit for 2012 10 Mariana Podesta-Diverio looks on the bright side of death Editor in Chief: Rosie Marks-Smith Editors: James Alexander, Hannah Bruce, Bebe D’Souza, 11 Profile: Bob Ellis Paul Ellis, Jack Gow, Michael Koziol, James O’Doherty, Michael Koziol talks to one of his Kira Spucys-Tahar, Richard Withers, Connie Ye heroes, Bob Ellis Reporters: Michael Coutts, Fabian Di Lizia, Eleanor Gordon-Smith, Brad Mariano, Virat Nehru, Drag Kings Sean O’Grady, Andrew Passarello, Justin Pen, 12 Lucy Watson walks the streets of Hannah Ryan, Lane Sainty, Lucy Watson, Dan Zwi Newtown to teach us about drag Contributors: Rebecca Allen, Chiarra Dee, John Gooding, kings John Harding-Easson, Joseph Istiphan, Stephanie Langridge, 11 Mason McCann, Mariana Podesta-Diverio, Ben Winsor Culture Vulture 3 Spam 14 Crossword: Paps Dr Phil wrote us a letter! Well, sort of. Where has the real Slim Shady gone? Cover: Angela ‘panz’ Padovan of Panz Photography Asks John Gooding Advertising: Amanda LeMay & Jessica Henderson [email protected] Campus 16 Tech & Online 4 Connie Ye teaches us how to dance Justin Pen runs us through social your PhD media in modern Aussie politics HONISOIT.COM News Review Action-Reaction Disclaimer: 6 17 is published by the Students’ Representative Council, , Level 1 Why are Sydney buses exploding? An open letter to the Australian Rugby Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, Chiarra Dee investigates League Commission by Michael Coutts space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under Op-Shop Lecture Notes the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Rafi Alam, Peta Borella, Michael de 7 18 Waal, Eleanor Gordon-Smith, Jeremy Leith, Leo Nelson, Astha Rajvanshi and Max Schintler. All Joe Biden re-ignites the flame for the All your favourite activities to expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the Democrats’ race, writes Ben Winsor waste away your boring lectures. SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the ad- vertisements and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46-62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015. Planner Honi’s Guide to what’s on

WED THU FRI

Rally against SUV rent increases The Rubens Noel Fielding Gala 1pm, Carslaw, FREE 7pm, The Metro, $30 7pm & 9:30pm, Sydney Opera House, There has been uproar at the recent hike in rental costs at the After packing out Splendour in the Grass earlier this year, The $65 - $110 Sydney University Village. The minimum weekly rent is currently Rubens are taking the world by storm. Following the release of The co-star/creator of ‘The Mighty Boosh’ is returning to $256, making it difficult for students who are looking for cheap their latest hit track, ‘My Gun’, make sure you check out these Oz for the first time in 10 years, so make sure you buy your accommodation near campus. four lads before they get too big. tickets soon before they sell out and you never ever see him. PolSoc Women in Leadership - Gillian Triggs Sculpture by the Sea SHADES presents Halloqueen 18 Oct - 4 Nov, Bondi, FREE 5pm, McCallum Room, Holme Building, FREE 10pm, Zanzibar, Newtown, $10 One of the more unusual sculpture exhibitions in Sydney, set An annual event presented by the USU’s Politics Society, which SHADES are throwing a party in celebration of all things aims to shed light on notable female perspectives and advance against the beauty of Bondi Beach. Wander among the many inspiring and intriguing works submitted by sculptures across Halloween. Everyone is welcome, but costumes are expected. reflective thinking and discourse on issues surrounding women and Featuring DJ Smithers. leadership in the public arena. the globe.

SAT SUN TUES

Art & About - A Moveable Feast World Games Presidential Debate on Foreign Policy 7:30pm, George St, FREE All day, Various, FREE Tues, 12pm, US Studies Centre, FREE Closing the Art & About festival with a bang, City of Sydney Sydney plays host to the biennial WFG, previously held in cities The US Studies Centre will be screening the third presidential brings George St to life with a unique evening of food, film and like Las Vegas, and . A great chance showdown between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. US music. All Disney fans will be excited with the screening of ‘Rata- to see a lot of buff bods competing in events like surfing. Studies Centre experts will be on hand to offer analysis and answer questions after the debate. touille’ from 8pm. Spring Cycle Sirens Big Band Our Muse Presents: The Little Shop of Horrors Pick All Day, North Sydney to Pyrmont, FREE 9pm, The Basement, $15/$20 Enjoy the lovely spring weather as you ride your fixie through Tues, 7pm, Tom Mann Theatre, $18/$22/$27 Love jazz? Then check out the hottest jazz band around. They the leafy streets of North Sydney, the quiet city streets and Muse are not running two, but THREE productions in their 2012 are an all girl 17-piece from Sydney, writing most of their own onto the Pyrmont Festival, where there will be face painting, Repertory Season. ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ is sure to be excel- tunes, with reggae, gypsy and afro influences. food stalls and a jumping castle! lent, but there will also be ‘Assassins’ and ‘Patience’. All shows are produced, directed & performed by fellow Usyd students.

2 honisoit @honi_soit Spam lETTERS Editorial owner may well know that she is sexu- ally aroused because she is rubbing her Religion relegated vagina against the legs of the owner. We Fahad Ali may well infer with some certainty that BMedSc I she is initiating sexual contact. But to It has been a blast putting together now it’s coming after Australian freedom what does she consent? How might she Editor-in-Chief Queer Honi this edition of our favourite paper, Honi of speech” makes us wonder if he has a withdraw that consent and how might Soit. From the antics of Bob Ellis to the point, or if he is just a little crazy. Dear Ms Lee, her owner recognize her withdrawal of intrigue of learning about drag kings, We also welcome our new undergradu- Thank you for your letter in the Week consent? Might she wish to withdraw 10 edition of Honi Soit (‘God loves gay consent during sexual intercourse, but this week has been enlightening. ate Fellow of Senate, Patrick Massarani, people’, October 10). I would like to ad- is reluctant to do so because she has A stand out theme this week is strong who is keen to make his mark on the dress some of the points you made. been conditioned to obey her owner? women and the influence they have in university during his two year term. It You believe homosexuality is a sin, Mr Raue, you may well benefit from an society. It takes a lot of courage to don is interesting to note however that there which would imply that it is a conscious education in feminist literature. short shorts and a cow boy hat, and are currently no female student repre- decision. I suggest that you take a look One may also take objection to Mr thrust repeatedly on stage to a room of sentatives on the Senate. While there is a at the articles ‘Human sexual orienta- Raue’s impression that a child victim of screaming girls. strong female representation of women tion has a heritable component’ (Pil- sexual abuse will grow up with painful also gets a mention for in the higher positions of the SRC and lard, 1998), ‘Brain response to putative memories or mental illnesses, but “no her impassioned tirade against Tony Ab- the University of Sydney Union, we must pheromones in homosexual men’ (Savic, such thing happens with animals”. It bot during question time last week. We ask ourselves, have women achieved 2005), or ‘A linkage between DNA is undisputed fact that animals possess explore the role social media played in equal recognition to men in all leader- markers on the X chromosome and male the emotional and cognitive faculties forming various social opinions on the ship roles at The University of Sydney? sexual orientation’ (Hamer, 1993). These to experience trauma from abuse. It is are only a few of the confirmed, objec- one of the most tragic and heartbreak- speech. This week we also discuss the Nobel tive, and scientific findings published in ing things to see animal victims of abuse Closer to home HoniLeaks explores Prize winners that have caused contro- respectable, peer-reviewed journals that undergoing rehabilitation. The trust and the changes to Affirmative Action in the versy. Our reporters believe that the support the truth that homosexuality is friendship that once characterised the Sydney University Law Society. While EU and Haroche & Wineland did not not a choice. It cannot therefore be a sin. animal’s relationship with his or her hu- the club moves to reduce the influence deserve the Peace and Physics prizes You might find it interesting to realise man companion is just as gravely open of AA, Honi finds evidence to show that respectively. So we put forward some that homosexuality is not constrained to to abuse. women are still under-represented in law awards of our own, which should be less humans. In ‘Same-sex sexual behavior Mr Raue has done well by open- practices. controversial. and evolution’ (Bailey, 2009) the authors ing a most interesting and intellectual In strong contrast our profile this week Again under representation of women summarised the widely documented phe- discourse. For discourse and discussion of Bob Ellis presents a different story is concerning, with very few female No- nomenon of homosexuality in animals. to have value however, we expect his about the role of women in society. Ellis’ bel Prize winners this year. It seems unlikely that animals would be comments to possess interest in conjunc- claims that feminism has “destroyed the Have a great week. susceptible to the temptation of Satan. tion with intellect. Until then, may he I don’t believe that being religious continue to practise his politics. world, secondly the world economy, and Rosie Marks-Smith and being queer are mutually exclusive, but we will not stand for the idea that our lifestyle choices are immoral. You CAPS still Thrives Israel’s tragic past Righting the observe, “It’s sad that so many people, Rafi Alam let alone gay people, are deterred from Dr Philomena Renner record BIGS III giving God a chance…” I want to ask Head, Counselling and Henry Innis you: how many queers are comfort- Psychological Services Dear Honi and Tal (‘Isreali Vice-President, able in embracing a religion that labels inaccuracy’, September 19), In response to the letter ‘Uni must step Sydney Uni Liberal Club them as intrinsically flawed and wicked While I admit I was mistaken in quot- up on mental health’, September 19, for possessing a trait that they have no ing that line – it came from a poem the Dear Honi, the Sydney University Councelling and control over? anthem was based upon, not from the In response to last week’s HoniLeaks psychological Services (CAPS) would Moreover, as sexuality is not under anthem itself – I take offence to the sub- (October 10) I would like to clarify a few like to applaud Celeste’s enthusiasm for one’s personal control, Michael Koziol tle accusations you make in your letter. things. supporting students with mental health was completely justified in describing There was no intention in denigrat- Firstly, I totally reject allegations issues. We agree that government funded religious institutions that expel students ing the nation of Israel, in the same way of a rift. Alex, Zac, and Sam are not mental health services are not meeting for their sexuality as “state-sanctioned there was no intention in denigrating the just close to me politically, but I count community need, and that the ongoing practitioners of hate”. It is hateful, it is nation of Vietnam. The anthem is de- amongst my close personal friends. challenge for any mental health service discriminatory, it is bullying. pressing, but so is The Great Gatsby and Discussions of opinions, as Alex is to maximise the available resources to You wrote, “Love is perfect”. What Requiem for a Dream. Depressing isn’t rightly pointed out, are not disunity. A meet demands. about the love between two men? What undignified. Understandably, however, basic check of my phone would tell you CAPS has been making a committed about the love between two women? there are those who can see it as such. that we all talk regularly and candidly effort to both optimise student potential They are perfect as well, but it is unfor- Due to this, I made sure to instead use about issues. To suggest otherwise is far and combat mental illness on campus. In tunate that you can’t see it that way. another word as a core descriptor of the fetched, and to do it without bothering addition to the provision of free individ- anthem – “tragic”. to ask is shoddy journalism. Mr Chu’s ual counselling sessions, group programs Because it is tragic, because the history incorrect stance highlights this further. and online resources, we are developing Animal Magnetism of the Jewish people is tragic, because Frankly, Cameron Caccamo has had a number of projects that aim to facili- Nathan Li, the Holocaust is beyond tragic. Sure, little to do with the club and has not tate student involvement. One such proj- there is hope, but just as ‘Never Forget’ been involved in its management for Law IV ect is the development of a mental health is future-looking, so too is it reflective of the better part of a year. As much as I peer mentoring training program, which Dear Honi, the past. The music of Hatikvah is one of respect him as a genuine and nice guy, I we hope Celeste will be part of in the Continuing with the theme of educat- hope and of tragedy. think he is drawing conclusions which future. Another project under develop- ing our less than esteemed SRC Vice A few other things to note is that I are a far cry from the truth. ment is the “pocket psychologist” mobile President and USU Board Director, Mr listed it the 2nd most badass (read: best) phone application, which is currently Tom Raue, I would like to respond to his anthem in the world. Out of around being developed by USYD students for emphatic support for bestiality. 200. Clearly I’m not anti-Semitic. And if USYD students. To Mr Raue’s curious injunction I wanted to be anti-Zionist, I would’ve Earlier this year we ran the inaugural that “if sex is initiated by an animal, mentioned apartheid, oppression, and ‘Thrive Festival’ which aimed to build an then it should be considered consen- ethnic cleansing. But I didn’t. I love the- awareness of mental health on cam- Questions? sual” one might take objection. The Israeli national anthem, it sounds amaz- pus. During the festival we conducted preponderance of sociological literature ing, and while I admit I made a mistake Comments? a survey of student mental health and [email protected] supports the view that consent requires in my article, I’d thank you to not make well-being which resulted in information active and continuous communication. spurious remarks about my attitude which we hope will both enhance clinical The language barrier between humans towards Israel again. services for students on campus, and and animals make negotiating terms of to roll out more student participation consent extremely difficult. initiatives. Take a hypothetical female dog that is sexually aroused. The hypothetical honisoit,com honisoit 3 Campus WEEKLY NEWS From child-star to Fellow of Senate Kira Spucys-Tahar meets the new undergraduate Fellow of Senate, Patrick Massarani, and charts his Reagan-like trajectory

In typical fashion the new young man. However I think some Undergraduate Fellow of the Senate disagreement is inevitable. I’d best Patrick Massarani enters our meeting not comment.” When asked about his wearing a cornflower blue business shirt successes, Massarani struggled to praise and a pin-stripe suit. Last Wednesday, Veness: “He was able to engage widely after weeks of voting, the fourth year and command the respect of senior Arts/Law student and accomplished university staff and students that knew pianist was announced as the twentieth him.” Fellow of Senate since 1990, when Veness attended just two SRC meetings postgraduates and undergraduates were in 2012 despite being an ex-officio represented separately on Senate by member. Massarani says his relationship elected students. with new President David Pink means Massarani is a colourful campus he intends to work closely with the identity best known for his flamboyant Students’ Representatives Council. “I’m outfits and litigious manner. “I took very close with [David] and I’m proud the university to court and took out of [his] achievements this year. I will be an injunction in the Supreme Court,” going to every meeting I can. The SRC Young Patrick in a Vicks commercial, circa 1995 Patrick Massarani, 2012 he tells me. “The university briefed a will need all the help it can get in the barrister but they settled and paid costs.” interests of the university as a whole. The SEG makes decisions regarding next few months to take home its fair Adjusting his sea-green bow tie, But this is a broad term. Everyone has education and research training, finance share of SSAF money.” Massarani is certainly knowledgeable a different view on what ‘best interests’ and infrastructure, and curriculum and Patrick Massarani has a strong when it comes to student affairs. He means. The Vice-Chancellor is obviously course planning. “The SEG is starting vision for the future in his role as deftly moves between discussion of doing his best, obviously doing what to become a serious political force on Undergraduate Fellow of Senate for the the cost of the SSAF to international he sees is best, but I think my view campus in its own right,” Massarani next two years. “The fight we’ve got students and university income and sometimes, or often, differs on that, with says. He looks forward to being able to set most broadly is the fight against the expenditure. the greatest respect.” make a “constructive contribution” to corporatisation of universities,” he says. I ask Massarani why he chose to run “It has been a number of years since the decision of electing a new Chancellor. “My work at NUS has shown me that for Senate. “This is something I thought we have had a proper progressive voice The University’s new Indigenous through the deregulation of places, and about before I even got to uni,” he on Senate,” Massarani says. “Ideally I strategy, however, brings mixed thoughts. now we have the fight ahead against the says. “A former chair of the Academic want to be running regular meetings with “It suffers from…a fundamental lack of deregulation of fees.” Board was a chair of the Fort Street the head of student organisations and consultation with students,” Massarani “I am conscious that while I’m school council and I was encouraged have open office consultation hours.” says. “The university is trying a divide sitting on what is essentially the ‘Board by his advice. After two years on the Despite having been an SRC and and conquer strategy. Shane Houston of Directors’, the university is not a SRC I realised all the decisions were National Union of Students office bearer is not a bad person and the university business. Our first priority should being made at Senate and that’s where I for two years, Massarani is apprehensive stacks up with its equity programs, but it be creating a positive and interesting wanted to be.” about the task ahead. “There are 35,000 would be far better managed if [students] learning environment.” “Between staff cuts and the sword of undergraduate students,” he tells me. were involved in the process.” Damocles hanging over the Honours “This electorate is bigger than some state With regard to his working Manning or Hermann’s? “I used to be a programme, I think we need to ensure and local electorates.” Massarani intends relationship with the newly elected Manning man but I’m increasingly loyal a productive relationship with the to wholeheartedly dedicate himself to Postgraduate Fellow James Flynn, “I to Hermann’s.” student organisations regarding the SSAF his new role. He is not contesting any suspect we will have more disagreements Taste or USU coffee? “I’m fairly negotiations,” Massarani says. further positions with NUS or SRC and than we’ve had before,” he says. “It’s not egalitarian, so whatever gives me the Having run in various student elections wants to be “as visible and accessible as going to be all champagne and paté any most caffeine.” and assisted his Labor right faction Unity possible” for students on campus. more for James.” Best library on campus? “It used to be in many of their electoral endeavours, I The Senate’s Senior Executive Group When discussion turns to his Fisher until they turned it into a sterile question how Massarani will fair in his (SEG), chaired by Vice-Chancellor predecessor on Senate, Ben Veness, lunatic asylum. Probably the lawbry.” role on Senate. “It’s daunting actually,” Michael Spence “seems to be an opaque Massarani plays it cagey. “I’ve known Favourite TV show: “Rake. Sometimes he says. “A fundamental duty as set out and awkward bureaucratic instrument”, Ben for a number of years, we were I’m like Cleaver, other times more like in the Constitution is to act in the best according to Massarani. at college together. He’s a very bright Barney.”

Sydney University finalist in Dance Glamourising health services outback Your PhD competition You can’t take the country out of Hannah Bruce Connie Ye still cries because of her stage mum The annual Rural Health Night, She has since done a lot of challenging organised by The Sydney University work overseas, following the Boxing A University of Sydney scholar has Currently in its fifth year, the Medical Society (SUMS) and rural health Day tsunami in Aceh and the Haiti been selected as one of twelve finalists competition was established by Science club Mirage, last Tuesday night invited earthquake. Her experience shows that in the International Dance Your PhD Magazine to encourage a layperson’s medicine, physiotherapy, pharmacy, there are endless possibilities beyond city competition for 2012, with a work titled understanding of science-related theses, dentistry, nursing and other allied wards.” ‘A Super-Alloy is Born’. which can often be long and contain “a health students to learn about the career The demand for quality health service Dr Peter Liddicoat from the minefield of jargon,” according to the opportunities outside the major cities. providers in rural areas has led a number Australian Centre for Microscopy and magazine. The evening aimed at breaking of government, community and student Microanalysis made the final cut out of Dr Liddicoat’s entry along with the pervasive negative stereotypes about organisations to develop initiatives to 36 entrants from around the world. His eleven others was scored on the basis working in rural, regional and remote attract international and urban students interpretative dance was based on his of both scientific and artistic creativity. areas by giving students the opportunity to take up placements and graduate jobs PhD thesis about the internal structures Other dances attempt to explain concepts to hear about the varied and exciting in the country. of a high-strength aluminium alloy. such as “governance of natural resources careers of the key speakers, said SUMS The Rural Health Night is central to The result was five minutes of silent and development of local economies in organiser Josh Watt. “We’ve picked exposing healthcare students to working film-era dance following a scientist (Dr rural areas” through a range of styles some really inspiring speakers this year. professionals and encouraging them to Liddicoat, playing himself) playing ‘the and techniques from burlequse to break- Dr Sam Goodwin works for the Rural consider alternative career paths. “Some Engineer’ on the quest to discover a new dancing. An independent panel including Flying Doctors Service, Daniel Mahony people just never even consider moving super-strong light-weight aluminium senior scientists and professional dancers is a physio practicing in regional Western out of Sydney. But after people do a alloy. Described as ‘romantic revolution will choose and announce the winners , and Libby Bowell, a nurse, placement in a rural area, lots of them of Lightness & Strength”, the video, on October 15. Readers also get to pick originally worked in Newcastle before really enjoy the experience,” says Josh. hosted on Vimeo, has attracted over two their favourites by voting online at news. she met some other remote area nurses “Some people love the unique challenges thousand views already. sciencemag.org and was inspired to start working in that come with working outside of a remote areas of the Northern Territory. major centre.” 4 honisoit @honi_soit Campus HoniLeaks HONI Tab

All your university gossip, rumours, allegations and revelations with Kira Spucys Tahar and Connie Ye ODDS OF TEXTING scandal Senate Smackdown relapse: Results are in for the election of increase in voter turnout is a wonder- Undergraduate (primary vote): the undergraduate and postgraduate Fel- ful thing and it’s great there’s now more Patrick Massarani – 557 lows of Senate. legitimacy to the post-grad election.” Mr Stefan Dimou – 449 ======In an overwhelming majority, former Flynn received more primary votes than Eleanor Gordon-Smith – 351 USU Board Director and former SRC double the entire number of votes cast in Yvonne Nguyen – 226 representative James Flynn took out the last year’s postgraduate election. It was Dalton Fogarty – 204 PETER SLIPPER postgraduate race. In a tighter result, also more than the total number of votes Matthew Woolaston – 83 Unity figure and NUS Ethno-Cultural of- cast in the last SUPRA election. Mariam George – 78 $1.80 ficer Patrick Massarani won the under- Mr Flynn also commented on his un- Sam Stone – 44 graduate title (see pg 4). dergraduate counterpart saying, “Finally Postgraduate (primary vote): In the undergraduate race a total Massarani takes his place in an elected James Flynn – 745 SHANE WARNE number of 1,992 votes were cast, while body. It’s an interesting time for politics Bradley Wells – 109 1,114 votes were cast in the postgradu- at Sydney University.” Audrey Irish – 102 $2.50 ate election. ------Manna Mostaghim – 80 James Flynn told Honi Soit, “The Results are as follows: Stefan Dimou – 58 Benjamin Teale – 16 KEVIN Pietersen SULS dilutes AA provisions $3.10 At the Sydney University Law Society enthusiastic candidate available,” she Ms White was only put into the position AGM held on Tuesday October 2, a said. because she is a third-year law student constitutional amendment was passed “The new provision requires at least and was needed to balance the new to alter the current affirmative action a one-third male and one-third female younger executive. It has been pointed tiger woods provisions from half to one third of representation, which maintains a out she has limited experience in $3.90 women on the executive. safeguard appropriate for SULS. The women’s activism roles. Ms White told The amendment was proposed by proposed amendment was advertised Honi, “While it is important to balance the current executive under President well in advance of the AGM and passed year representation on a SULS ticket that Claire Burke, and the position was by a three-quarters majority. is by no means the primary concern, it’s affirmed by the incoming executive for “In my time at law school women about individuals based on merit.” There $4.50 2013. The current Women’s Officer have been comfortably represented in are three other third year students on the Nigela Houghton did not contribute to SULS bodies which do not have this executive including Nick Simone, Ben the discussion but it is understood she requirement, such as in subcommittees. Paull and Emily Hartman. voted against the motion. According to Women have also put themselves With regard to the changes in AA, Ms sources many people felt uncomfortable forward for leadership positions on White said: “It was debated really hotly speaking at the meeting as the motion the Executive, with four of the last five at the AGM. I think Affirmative Action $400.81 was debated. Presidents being female.” is a really important mechanism and Ms Burke expressed her support She maintained that affirmative action has a lot of valuable places and does a for the amendment and pointed to was “most effective when it is tailored to lot of good in certain sectors in society. the ‘onerous’ nature of the existing the specific situation in question’”. But there are no concrete barriers that provision which meant that “an SRC Women’s Officer Annabel Osborn stop women from accessing the SULS executive of all women could be elected, said, “It’s distressing that the people executive as evidenced by having Claire Rally against $UV with no male candidates, since there involved in SULS who have probably had Burke as President this year and Issy was no requirement anywhere in the every opportunity in the world, myself Youssef next year. There are numerous rent hikes constitution for male representation.” included, it’s sad they are willfully blind talented women on the executive.” On Wednesday October 17 at 1pm “Where a ticket with 7 women and 8 to the issue of inequality. People at the Ms White continued, “I am a there will be a rally outside Carslaw to men were looking for a final candidate meeting were determined to say there passionate feminist and I look forward stop Sydney University Village’s rent and could not find a female candidate aren’t issues of inequality in the law to collaborating with various women’s increases. The SRC Student Housing willing to run, that ticket wouldn’t school and that’s really distressing.” groups on campus next year.” Action Collective will fight to force the be able to put forward a candidate The Women’s Officer for next year, The effects of the amendment, if University to commit to making student for that position at all, despite there Christina White, voted in favour of the any, will be seen at earliest in the 2013 housing affordable. potentially being a perfectly capable and motion. There have been accusations elections. As Honi reported last week, SUV has raised the rent again this year to $256 a Background Statistics: female representation in the law week which means a rental increase of 22 per cent over the past two years. Students who genuinely need low- cost housing, close to campus, such as students from outside of Sydney or lower socio-economic backgrounds, will likely be unable to afford accommodation. Students want to ensure fair rental prices at SUV and to ensure the student housing project at the Abercrombie precinct will be university-run affordable housing for students. Words with Friends What’s your favourite campus food outlet?

ALEXANDER PETERS GREG BAWDEN AARON CORNELIUS SAM FARZANEH

“Apart from the wild “Parma Cucina. You “Xquisito because it’s “Uni Bros bro! I elderberries that take can get all kinds of exquisite! And a close need to advertise my root on level 7 of Fisher, sandwiches, sit outside, second is any place that stereotype...” Uni Bros. Shout out to beer, wine, coffee – it’s sells Dare iced coffee!” the meatbox!!” awesome!”

honisoit.com honisoit 5 News Review Exclusive: exploding buses Natural gas buses - cleaner alternative or potential fireballs? Your daily commute on the 440 could turn disastrous. Chiarra Dee investigates

Gas buses are exploding everywhere. of natural gas buses was only half that of In August 2010 in , a diesel equivalents.” gas-operated transit bus overheats and The same report described gas engine explodes. overheating as a common problem, In July 2011 in Pakistan, a gas bus while a 2004 study of gas bus cylinders catches on fire after its cylinder explodes revealed that gas-powered school buses on the Islamabad Express Highway. “could be expected to be significantly In October 2011 in Indonesia, a gas more prone to fire fatality” than diesel- bus explodes while refuelling at a power operated ones. station. If these statistics are anything to go by, These overseas cases were all reported they paint a picture of technology prone to have been caused by cylinder failure. to failure. Failure that could reasonably But as it turns out, Australia is just as be seen to include spontaneous combus- vulnerable. tion. To date, 11 gas fires have been re- Chris Preston, Bus and Tram Divi- corded nationwide. The most notable sion Secretary of the Rail, Tram and Bus of these, is the July 2011 Port Botany Union (RTBU), firmly maintains that explosion in Hillsdale. there is cause for concern. Gas-powered buses have been seen as “There have been 11 gas fires since environmentally-friendly alternatives to 2008 in that model bus in Australia – The aftermath. Credit: their diesel counterparts. But they may that exact model gas bus, which is the University of Sydney. catastrophe the next time a problem oc- not be as good as they seem. OC 500 Mercedes Benz. I believe that “I think they’re generally safe and bus curs with gas-powered buses.” Growing studies have questioned buses need the fire suppression systems travel is safer than most other forms of The government assures us that ev- gas buses’ capacity to meet expected suited to their engine base.” transport, so in general, I think passen- erything is under control, but can we as outcomes. In a paper produced for the However, it’s not all cut and dry. “I gers don’t need to be worried.” the travelling public relax knowing that International Association of Natural Gas don’t think they’re ticking timebombs,” Following the Port Botany fire in 2011, these gas buses are roaming the streets Vehicles (IANGV) in 2000, it was de- says Dr Geoffrey Clifton, Transport and where a passing motorist notified the without added safety features? tailed that “in some cases, the reliability Logistics Management Lecturer at the driver of a gas bus that his vehicle was in “I would say that we can relax,” says fact on fire, it was recommended by The Dr Clifton. “I think we can be assured Office of Transport Safety Investigations that they’ve properly investigated what (OTSI) that an 18-month installation happened in all of the separate incidents deadline on fire suppression systems be and do have plans to try and improve determined. things going forward.” This was awarded in July 2012, but But Shadow Transport Minister Penny STA believes the units will be well in- Sharpe maintains that the government stalled by April 2013. The OTSI report needs to expedite the installation of fire also details STA’s implementation of a suppression systems. She says fast-track- weekly inspection program, which sees ing the fitting process will prevent the to ensure that every bus that goes on the risk of future endangerment. road passes all road worthiness checks. Meanwhile, Mr Preston is hopeful the Although routine bus checks can assist government’s targets will be met. He in reducing the risks associated with en- says, “I’ve got to believe it’s achievable gine fires, a fire suppression system can because State Transit stood in front of do more. As voiced by RTBU on their the Industrial Relations Commission and website, they “could be the difference set that goal of 18 months, explaining it The Hillside bus fireball from 2011. Credit: Fairfax Media between a minor incident and a major could be achieved.”

Venezualan victory

The revolution kicks on The renewed reign of Chavez can bring good to Venezuala, if the leader is willing to compromise, writes Fabian Di Lizia

Hugo Chavez has been re-elected against Ameri- Perhaps the some real reform. comfortably in the Venezuelan Presi- can foreign most pertinent Chavez may be able to help economic dential election, returning 55 per cent policy inter- election post- efficiency if he is willing to remove of the vote to Henrique Capriles’ 44 per ests. mortem comes corruption from his public service and cent. However, from Chavez’s return the focus to efficiency. International commentary suggested the middle opponent Judicial and police reforms need to be Chavez’s working-class and peasant class has be- himself. “I implemented alongside Chavez’s social bases would fragment and vote against come severely hope he gives inclusion policies to effectively address him, but this simply didn’t happen. disillusioned. respect and crime. Venezuela’s drop in inequality co- But Chavez’s hold on power marks Their land recognition for incided with increased rates of violence. uncertainty for the country. His ongoing has been the 6.5 million Chavez has economically empow- Bolivarian-socialist revolution has had systemically Chavez has returned to power despite poor health Venezuelans ered the poor of Venezuela, achieving its positives for the country, but also a repossessed, and Venezuela is facing the who voted against him,” said Capriles. the lowest level of inequality in South lot of negatives. It is unsurprising that fourth highest level of inflation glob- The vexed economic, political and so- America. However, the land-owning Venezuela is strongly divided. ally. Markets plummeted following the cial future of Venezuela is compounded classes have been disillusioned. Chavez The poor of the nation were granted results. with uncertainty surrounding Chavez must empower all tiers of society and free healthcare, education and welfare. Chavez’s state-driven revolution has himself. He facing a battle with cancer allow for growth to come from top and They were also empowered through also fostered a corruption-ridden bu- and his exact health status remains a bottom. Again, compromise may be public housing and land redistribution. reaucracy. State officials are struggling state secret. needed from Chavez to drop his social- Chavez has fostered Latin American to deal with crime, with 50 murders The future is uncertain, but if Chavez ist rhetoric, but it may be for the benefit solidarity, creating a balance of power recorded for every 100,000 residents. can learn to compromise, he can achieve of Venezuela.

6 honisoit @honi_soit Op-Shop Inspirational Politics The Second Showdown - Biden vs Ryan If only Obama was as inspirational as Biden, writes Ben Winsor in New York

I fucking love Joe Biden. has shifted. Focus is on his energetic He’s everything a politician should be performance, and the amount of – passionate, caring, articulate and genu- different ways he claimed Ryan wasn’t ine to a fault. His gaffes have become telling the truth. Malarkey seems to be a legendary. When Obamacare passed, an press favorite. open mic caught him telling the President It was a boost disillusioned Democrats it was a ‘big fucking deal.’ The campaign needed after Obama’s poor showing. now sells BFD t-shirts. However, if the President again fails to Last week was the first and only step up in the second debate next Tues- Vice Presidential debate, a week after day, it’s a boost that may be short lived. Obama’s dismal performance in his first Presidential Debate. Romney went from way behind to pulling neck and neck with the President in national polls, as well as in the key swing states of Ohio and Florida. Biden was under pressure to rally the Joe Biden winning hearts at the Vice-Presidential debate. troops and reverse Romney’s newfound momentum. He delivered. Biden came policy as “a bunch of s... stuff.” Ryan Perhaps part of his compassion comes armed with facts, numbers and so much performed solidly and hit Obama hard from the “bunch of stuff” he’s been energy you’d swear he’d just popped a for the administration’s failures, but with through. pill. Biden’s clarity, energy and directness, it A few weeks after Biden was elected to Biden did everything Obama should was clearly his night. the Senate in 1972, his wife and one- have done in the Presidential Debate. Biden is the definition of folksy, when year-old son were killed when their car Early on, after his opposition Paul Ryan the debate turned to Israel he said he’d was hit by a truck. They were out Christ- delivered a convincing answer hitting known ‘Bebe’ personally for 29 years - mas shopping. all the Republican talking points, Biden Bebe being Israeli Prime Minister Benja- For his first years in the Senate, Biden shot back in a way Obama never did: min Netanyahu. was a single parent to his two other “with all due respect, that’s a bunch of Biden has a winning smile and an sons, who were critically injured in the malarkey... not a single thing he said is ability to make you feel like he’s only accident. accurate.” talking to you. Whether it’s when he The week before his debate, the Energetic with a ripping smile, Biden talks directly into the camera, or throws media was focused on Obama’s poor almost slipped and swore, describing a punter’s camera to his secret service performance and Romney’s momentum. Ryan’s description of Obama’s foreign detail to take a photo on a rope-line. After Biden’s performance, the narrative Biden the Boss. Photo: Getty

EU circle-jerk: nobel peace prize farce Why award mixed narratives? A Europe that doesn’t stand for anything stands for nothing, writes John Harding-Easson

It should be without surprise that the Early this year the German govern- awarding of this year’s Nobel Peace Prize ment called on Greece to surrender all to the European Union was met with control of its budgetary policy to the EU. heckles from the media in attendance In May, the German Finance Minister and derision from eurosceptics. proposed a more integrated EU with “a The Nobel committee, which awards common finance policy and a central those who have contributed to peace, has government” at its core. again shown itself as a farce. The original aim of the project as What the EU has achieved over the embodied in the Paris and Rome treaties past six decades is unclear. of the 1950s boldly worked for reconcili- It failed to avert war in Croatia, failed ation between and Germany. to avert war in Bosnia, and failed to But at some point that effort changed avert war in Kosovo. to economic prosperity as Britain, It is true that it played a significant and Ireland signed up to the role in the democratisation of Commu- European Commission Jose European Economic Community which nist states after the Berlin Wall fell in Manuel Barroso. Photo: advocated market integration. 1989, but why has it been awarded now? Associated Press The Nobel Peace Prize was incorrectly Did the committee really think they were awarded to the European Union, be- making a daring or imaginative state- cause it does not speak with one voice. ment with this year’s Prize? This is a Union more focused on plutocracy than democracy. It is placed on the same shelf as the Red In a decade of economic crisis and Cross, the United Nations High Com- uprisings in the Middle East, the Prize who dominate the EU are determined to Power within the EU has become increas- missioner for Refugees, the International presented an opportunity for the Nobel favour prosperity above democracy. It ingly constrained in Germany. This has Labour Organisation. Amnesty Interna- committee to award the bold and inspi- attempts to clumsily and monolithically become clear with the European response tional, and Médecins Sans Frontières. rational. This is what the Nobel commit- tie together 27 states that lack a shared to the Greek debt crisis where sovereign- These are institutions of true imagina- tees of previous years achieved. culture or history into central author- ty has given way to stability. With a low tion that seek to protect the rights of the But what is more ridiculous about this ity. Meanwhile, in September, European unemployment rate and robust financial vulnerable. award is that it falls into the trope of the Commission President Jose Manuel Bar- sector, the powerhouse has managed to What the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize current European establishment that at- roso called for a “transnational order” make even France and look like reminds us is that the 2008 award to tempts to characterise a whole continent with “shared sovereignty”. weak players. Barack Obama was no mistake: the com- with a mixed history of internal division There is no reason to reward banal Greece’s problems have given way to an EU mittee has now lost all legitimacy. But into a single, myopic picture. internationalism, and even less to reward with an even wider power dichotomy. it also speaks volumes of the problems The European project is founded on plutocratic reign. As the problems of the Greeks worsen, with the EU and its democratic deficit. two threads. The first is economic inte- This is a Union more focused on plu- the Germans have been able to dramati- There is no single narrative on Europe or gration, the second are the grand ideals tocracy than democracy. Take the salient cally set the direction of the organisa- the EU. of mutual understanding and unity. example of Greece’s Debt Crisis. As a tion. Key to this is an agenda that under- And that is not a fact that should be Yet the powerful bureaucratic elites fiscal union it manages public spending. mines state fiscal sovereignty. awarded. honisoit.com honisoit 7 HORNI SOIT

Third Drawer

PATHWAY TO A MAJOR IN ROAD TEST-Iphone5 EUROPEAN UNION STUDIES Mason McCann probably wasn’t expecting any calls anyway

Graduates of this course will develop the skills (or lack thereof) necessary So it turns out I’m one of those wankers; the kind who, with a to run a poorly conceived and grossly administered economic and political year left on the contract for his perfectly functional iPhone 4S, union into the ground. decides “fuck it, I want this thing to be slimmer” and signs on for another year with Australia’s soon-to-be premiere retailer of second-hand office supplies and hysterical call-centre staff. But having to spend an extra year dealing with the infinite number EUUN 1001: Neo-liberalism of monkeys that Vodafone hired to replace its technical team is Why free markets are good for everyone. worth it for how amazing the new iPhone is, right? Let’s take a look at the bits that work and the others that, bizarrely, don’t. EUUN 1002: The Best of Friends 1. The Sex A historical study of how money can overcome even the most bitter of conflicts. Now that I have your attention, good god, the new iPhone is sexy. Slim, too: standing 124mm tall and weighing just over 100 grams it’s basically the Kate Moss of phones. Much like the real Kate Moss however, it can be a little temperamental and cracks easily. I’ve so far only dropped mine once (I got it on Monday, snaps for me) and it survived without any visible damage, but I think that one time might have used up my phone-karma. You just can’t have a screen that large without sacrificing some EUUN2012: Dealing with Germany structural integrity. Upside: screen makes a good mirror for on- Develop the ability to bite the hand that feeds. the-go fringe adjustments.

EUUN2022: Quelling Civil Unrest 2. The Messages Following the imposition of austerity measures, learn how to put down This part, blessedly, works. There were no significant redesigns riots. of the Messaging app in iOS 6, but the thing is fast as hell and smooth as Lifestyle Platinum on the more powerful iPhone 5. One new feature that was added with the new operating system was the ability to text people not just static pictures, but mov- ing GIFs. You might think being able to text your friend a loop- ing image of Jack Nicholson attacking a door with a fireaxe in The Shining as a reply to “what are you up to tonight?” would be a communications revolution, and you’d be right. Except for EUUN3001: Advanced Neo-Liberalism one tiny, weeny detail: Why free markets are still good for everyone, we promise. 3. The Reception (doesn’t fucking work) EUUN3422: Lying Seriously, holy shit, this sleek, top-of-the-line, suppos- Try to convince everyone that a single currency without centralised fiscal edly revolutionary phone is the goddamn telecommunicative policy is actually tenable. equivalent of two cans tied together with a length of string. It’s possible (nay, probable) that this issue in particular is the fault of Vodafone, but I had reception and 3G coverage on my 4S in places around uni that I get one anemic bar (if I’m lucky) on my 5. At New Law: one bar. Wentworth: one half bar. The Quad: couldn’t call the fire brigade if the damn thing was burn- ing down. It’s all well and good that due to the faster post- Honours: processing I can add an Instagram filter to my picture of a chair Graduates wishing to undertake the Honours program must fight in an empty room in record time, but if I can’t upload the thing amongst themselves for a year in the face of economic, social and then what’s the damn point? political hardship, accomplishing nothing. After which, they will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Honestly though, if Apple and Vodafone manage to collective- ly get their act together then the iPhone 5 will be as absolutely excellent as it should, by all rights, already be. It’s fast, smooth, reliable, and I occasionally want to lick it out of the sheer mag- netism of its design, Foxconn’s remaining living employees do good work. Oh and no, I don’t know how it is for making phone calls, Cross-Listed Units: who uses their phone to make calls any more? I use mine for Twitter. SCLG3422: Dole Bludging Learn how to live off minimal welfare when faced with widespread unemployment.

ITLN3022: Bunga Bunga A close study of Silvio Burlesconi in which students will learn how to create a Media Monopoly, run a country (sort of), and have a really fucking good time while they do it.

BUSS2011: Begging Learn how to borrow money when you have no chance of paying it back.

Apparently it’s also thinner.

8 honisoit @honi_soit

Paul Von Hindenberg @Paul_V0n_89 Tuesday 17:34 @Shlieffen ... that didn’t go so well #firstworldwarproblems Third Drawer

HORNI SOIT CHALLENGE ACCEPTED: You are reading Horni Soit. You are not feeling horny yet, but that’s because you haven’t read the erotic fiction that unfolds. Trust me, it’s super erotic. NO CAFFEINE You are the star of it, and the sexual desire you are feeling is palpable. Mariana Podesta-Diverio misses her Mother You’ve been lonely your whole life, playing second fiddle to everyone around you (that’s a metaphor though – you’ve either never tried learning an instru- I’ve been fondly nursing a caffeine Alas, I cared not for a normal life free ment because you’re afraid of failure, or you’ve let it go in recent years and addiction since my HSC year when I, from my maniacal infatuation with the feel guilty about it), and now you’re the protagonist of a piece of smut in the and some of my close friends, developed Elixir of Life. student newspaper. Congratulations. a relationship with the stimulant I cared only for one more cup - just You are brushing aside your perpetual worry that other people don’t love comparable to that of a nidifugous one. Maybe a mouthful. Or even just you as much as you love them and reaching downwards. You are beginning to avian imprinting on its fluffy hatchlings. a drop. A small, warm, brown bead of stroke your genitals, taking care not to scratch yourself with the nails you keep Years later, I continue to suckle on the frothy heaven on the tip of my eager forgetting to trim, and trying to forget what a horrible word ‘genitals’ truly is. teat of intellectual nourishment that the tongue to put an end to my aching You’ve probably got assignments due and exams coming up – but you aren’t munificent Elixir of Life (also known lust. By day three, I’d become a jittery letting the overwhelming desperation and stress you feel get in the way of the as coffee) imparts to drinkers with rodent-woman of sorts, hurriedly eroticism. Did you remember to lock the car? Never mind, you will worry exquisitely tantalising finesse. darting past Azzuri and Taste Baguette about that later. For now, you are focussing on your loins and the intense plea- Any enriching relationship is with my breath held and jaw clenched, sure you feel whelming up into your belly, which has grown rather too large in susceptible to rough patches. Having determined to avoid the beckoning hand recent times, but which you can easily get rid of if you start going to the gym reached a point of dependence that of the nourishing teat (coffee). again, probably. rendered my at-times befuddled You are stroking yourself tenderly and lovingly. But what is love, really? morning state curable only by Have you told your parents you love them recently? Do you even love them? the ingestion of full-bodied, And if you do love them, is it because you are biologically pre-determined to glorious, Arabica bliss, I love them, or do you love them for them? You are now dismissing all thoughts decided enough was enough. of parents from your mind – you are masturbating, after all. You are reach- Last week, coffee and I ing erotic heights you have never previously scaled. Is this an apotheosis of experienced a turbulent couple eroticism? Sometimes, like just now, you use words that you’ve heard a lot but of days when I defiantly tried to you don’t really understand what they mean. Like ‘laconic’. You are wonder- limit my usage (read: abusage). ing if people notice and laugh at you behind your back. You keep pleasuring Attempting to cut down from yourself. It’s pleasurable. And erotic. 2-3 cups daily to naught You are coming to the end of Horni Soit, and maybe you are even coming resulted in the most hellish 70 yourself. Either way, it is finished, and so are you. hours of my recent existence. By the afternoon of day two, I was cantankerous, disoriented and easily infuriated by the obnoxious babble produced by the pie holes of my classmates. (How on mother nature’s PS-Sigh green earth do non-coffee drinkers endure the constant drone of this odious Nevertheless, like any devout follower, noise pollution?) my trailed abstention collapsed. I went As time ticked on, my behaviour crawling back to the all-knowing hand showed parallels to that of an illicit drug that feeds my habits ever so generously. addict biding their time as the gruelling One triple-shot soy cappuccino, please. withdrawal period slowly makes way for the resumption of normal life. Did not get the nail memo. Ouch.

Soundtrack to: Tutorial Participation By Lane Sainty Unless you are some kind of superhuman, you’ve probably attended a tutorial without doing the readings. In fact, if it weren’t for the pesky matter of ‘tutorial participation marks’, you’d leave the reader untouched for a whole semester. But fear not— the entire 10% is not lost. Here are some handy short-cuts for the desperate and lazy. Say You’ll Be There, The Spice Girls Some tutors base participation marks on attendance, so it’s a good idea to turn up if you can. Sometimes a mere presence can translate into participation, particularly if your tutor is vague and you wear outrageous clothing. Let’s Get Loud, Jennifer Lopez Speak up! If it makes you feel better, preface the dumb thing you’re about to say with “This is just a shot in the dark, but...” Just know that saying that will not ever justify your ridiculous point. Don’t Ask Me Why, Billy Joel One big problem with speaking up is that your tutor might ask you questions about what you just said. And if you, like me, are a terrible student, you probably have no fucking idea. If this happens, don’t even try and respond to queries about your non-existent point. Just pretend that you’re about to throw up and leave the room. You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth, Meatloaf Once all else has failed, listen to somebody else talk and then put your hand up. If you’re genuinely a lost cause, your tutor will probably hopefully ask if you had something to say. Respond with “Oh, I was going to say the same thing,” and then elaborate on one of the other student’s points. Or, you know, repeat it word for word. Whatever works. No Sense, Cold Chisel You’re already screwed, so why not go the whole hog and say something you know to be totally irrelevant? Family anecdotes and stories from social media are great in these dire situations. Chuck ‘em out there and watch as your tutor either dismisses you completely or tries to somehow link them to the course. If it’s believably bizarre you may get pity points for trying.

honisoit.com honisoit 9

Paul Von Hindenberg @Paul_V0n_89 Tuesday 17:34 @Shlieffen ... that didn’t go so well #firstworldwarproblems Spooky Soit Day of the dead More than Mexican Halloween Mariana Podesta-Diverio is in it for the sugar skulls

For many cultures around the world, pay tribute to death as the continuation death is not something to be celebrated. of the life cycle. Observers of the holiday In Australia and most of the Western often build elaborate shrines consisting world, we are taught to grieve, lament of food and objects that once belonged and mourn the loss of loved ones. to the deceased and deliver these to the Bereavement is a socially accepted graves of those who have passed on. excuse for taking time off from work, One of the tastier practices pulling back from social activities or surrounding the holiday is the being granted generous extensions for production of sugar skulls, a type of academic work. But for over 3,000 years, decoration primarily intended for use Mexico has had a very different take on as a shrine decoration that can also be the matter. consumed. Day of the Dead (in Spanish: Dia de The practice has its roots in the los Muertos) is a holiday held on the pagan-influenced indigenous culture from the labour of artisan designers. topic to be avoided like the plague. November 1 and 2 in Mexico where it is of Mexico and was celebrated long Although they are stockists of bits and Evidently, Day of the Dead is more nationally observed. Celebrants gather before the Spanish colonisation of bobs from many corners of the globe, than just “Mexican Halloween” as with family and friends to remember South America. Upon first witnessing Holy Kitsch features a respectable supply it has been so dubbed by those who loved ones who have passed away and what they saw as a ridiculous practice, of Day of the Dead decorations including seek to conceptualise it in terms with the Spanish attempted to wipe out the the aforementioned edible sugar skulls which they are comfortable. It’s about ritual. Fortunately for anthropologists – an iconic cornerstone of the Mexican remembering those who have passed on and anti-imperialists alike, they were holiday. and acknowledging death openly; it’s unsuccessful. In fact, recent times have This begs the question: is the about celebrating the continuation of witnessed a spreading of some of the availability of this sort of merchandise life. It’s about healthy grieving: the way elements of the iconic cultural practice a vacuous appropriation of otherwise it always should have been. through the appropriation of certain important and meaningful elements of Want to see what it’s all about, minus symbols and images of the celebration, a cultural practice that is thousands the authenticity and graveyards? The demonstrating its resilience across time of years old? Or, conversely, is this Spanish and Latin American Society will as well as a resonance with cultures that a positive step towards the more be hosting a Dia de los Muertos themed have a different approach to the grieving widespread recognition in Australia of end-of-semester party at Hermann’s on process. seemingly unorthodox practices like October 30 at 6pm. The ‘Holy Kitsch’ stores of Surry Hills those of Dia de los Muertos? Perhaps the and Newtown specialise in the retail of latter could be important for reducing Mariana Podesta-Diverio is on collectible paraphernalia – often sourced the perception of death as taboo or a Twitter: @mapodi TOP FIVE... Cursed films When life cruelly imitates art. By Brad Mariano The Omen (1976) The classic ‘cursed film’, which isn’t as interesting as some of the more meta-tragedies among the others on this list. The number of events associated with a curse in this film, where a father learns his son is the antichrist, could alone be a top 5. Most are pretty tenuous – the director’s home was bombed by the IRA during filmmaking (even Thatcher would struggle to connect IRA with literal demonic forces), and star Gregory Peck cancelled a flight that later crashed and killed all on board. The only troubling one is that the iconic decapitation scene reoccurred when SFX director John Richardson went to work on his next film, and his girlfriend was killed in the exact same manner. Oh, and there was an influenza epidemic on the set of the sequel, so if that’s not proof, I don’t know what is. Rebel Without a Cause (1955) This cultural landmark explores teen angst and the abyss between adolescence and their parents’ generation, through the iconic performance of James Dean in this, the most well-known film of radical Hollywood auteur Nicholas Ray. Tragically the three stars never reached of the parents they so rebelled against – James Dean famously died in a car crash at age 24, Natalie Wood at age 43 in a mysterious drowning accident, and Sal Mineo stabbed behind his apartment in 1976, all with prosperous careers ahead. Fate was either particularly cruel or just wanted to truly put to rest any talk of a sequel.

The Misfits (1961) This peculiar, leisurely paced Western is fascinating as the last completed film by arguably the two greatest stars ever: Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe. It’s also eerie in hindsight of their fates. Gable’s character is a stubborn ranchman unwilling to settle down, while his death two weeks after filming has been attributed to a heart attack brought on by his insistence on doing his own vigorous stunts. Monroe, in probably her greatest and most self-reflective role is a troubled and insecure woman, and overdosed shortly after the film was released. When a post-accident Montgomery Clift (who would pass away a few years later, after years of crippling pain and substance abuse) is in the best shape of your three leads, you have a pretty unfortunate film on your hands.

Stalker (1979)/The Conqueror (1956) Russian director Andrei Tarkovsky’s masterful science-fiction film involves characters traversing through “The Zone” – a perilous, mysterious region with the look of a warzone physically destroyed and chemically toxic. The latter was sadly true, with the same poisonous substances responsible for the death of Tarkovsky, his wife and lead actor Solonitsyn. Combined with rumours that Tarkovksy was deliberately assassinated by the KGB, the mysterious film about a dystopian and dangerous future seems awfully resonant. A similar case is the critical and commercial dud Howard Hughes produced The Conqueror. The titular conqueror was not the main character Genghis Khan (a miscast John Wayne), though, but cancer. Filmed downwind from US Government nuclear weapons testing in Utah, 91 of the 220 cast and crew eventually developed cancer, which killed 46 – including director Dick Powell, megastar John Wayne and renowned thespian Agnes Moorehead.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968) Roman Polanski’s brooding masterpiece of a woman fearing for her unborn child, targeted by devil-worshippers and perhaps the child of Satan, becomes downright terrifying when you realise Polanski’s own wife, Sharon Tate, and un-born child were tragically slaughtered a year later by the Charles Manson family, the most notorious Satanists in history. In a chilling coincidence, the attack by the Manson family was called ‘Helter Skelter’ after the Beatles song, and John Lennon was murdered outside the his apartment at the iconic New York building The Dakota – the very same building used for Rosemary’s Baby.

10 honisoit @honi_soit Profile

nd so it goes Michael Koziol meets Bob Ellis and finds the pitfalls of feminism, the power of the printed word, and modern politics

ever meet your heroes, they timidly from the possibilities shown to the unhidden scandal of the blowjobs of a guess) oral sex”. Asay. Happily I’ve never put them by universities after hours.” Bill Clinton. Gore would not let Clinton, More recently he questioned the much stock in such censorious Ellis says he had no idea whether his as he begged, campaign in Arkansas, seriousness of sexual harassment claims N rules, and neither has he. undergraduate polemics were good or which was then lost. levelled at members of the Australian Bob Ellis is a writer. That sentence bad, but he found the act of writing “The Gore presidency would have Defence Force Academy. seems better left unadorned because it is compulsive. In the same way that the saved the world from global warming “Women, it seems, are tough enough so central to understanding a man who, late Christopher Hitchens described it [but] wowser feminism destroyed the for service on any battlefront but not for many decades, has been unsurpass- as not merely something one wants to Gore presidency. And it may do worse. tough enough to be peeked at in the able in his style of journalism, speech do but that one feels they must do, Ellis It’s horrible.” shower,” he wrote. writing, film making, and script writing. says writing is his “medication”. “If you Ellis goes on to blame ‘wowser femi- I think Ellis’ critics too often overstate Some of the works you will know: The begin to write and do not continue to nism’ for the destruction of Dominique the case. In the same way that Labor’s Legend of King O’Malley, , write, you may well top yourself.” Strauss-Kahn, and thus the European positioning of as woman- Goodbye Jerusalem. Others expire name- If you can write you can talk, they say, Union. “He was locked up on a fabri- hater is almost certainly wrong and lessly and thanklessly at the podium: the and Ellis talks exactly as he writes: cated charge of non-consensual oral sex, appalling, to label Ellis a misogynist is a many speeches for , Mike Rann, deliberately, emotively, laden with verbs, which is impossible without a gun…and serious charge that demands serious evi- , and , the and in a deep voice, as if constantly be- he was for nine crucial days in jail when dence. How fair is it also for a younger countless film reviews, the nitty gritty of side a fireplace nursing a scotch. he was supposed to be sorting the world generation to condemn an elder for not the writer’s life. Through the ensuing decades the Ellis economy. subscribing to the absolutist feminism “So wowser feminism has firstly of today? Ellis’ lot in life has been to destroyed the world, secondly the world dwell within, or at least adjacent to, the “So wowser feminism has firstly destroyed the world... economy, and now it’s coming after Aus- literary elite: a world that in Ellis’ time and now it’s coming after Australian freedom of speech.” tralian freedom of speech.” boasted precious few women - his wife While it might sound like an extreme of 44-years, the award-winning author It began, of course, on these very pen traversed mastheads such as The reading of history, Ellis makes a salient Anne Brooksbank, being a notable ex- pages, when Ellis “staged a coup” as he Nation Review, The National Times, point about the daily plethora of new ception. And despite this, Ellis can count puts it, to become the editor of Honi Soit and The Sydney Morning Herald. These rules which seem to be imposed, unpre- among his political heroes a number in 1963, with Jim Coombs and Laurie days he furnishes his blog, Table Talk, dictably and retrospectively, about what of talented women: Carmen Lawrence, Oakes. It was a blessed time for Sydney with daily observations on a world going constitutes acceptable public conduct. Natasha Stott-Despoja, and Cheryl University: his contemporaries also in- mad. When we meet on a windy, unsea- “We now have a rule that if a stand-up Kernot, all of whom he believes would cluded , , and sonably cold Friday afternoon, it is the comedian says something vulgar about have made excellent Prime Ministers. It’s Mungo McCallum. week’s tumultuous events in Canberra a sitting politician, we have to leave the a pity, as he would say. Ellis watched burn poetry weighing foremost on his mind. room. Where’d that fucking rule come At 70, Ellis is beginning to exhibit in the flat they shared in Bondi. But there The forcing of Peter Slipper from the from? It’s never been in force in world some of the insecurities of the ageing. He was little delusion of grandeur or sense Speaker’s chair, Ellis argues, sets a scary history until this week, and they’re has lost weight to fight off his diabe- of destiny as they set about foraging and dangerous precedent for what is con- behaving as though it’s what must hap- their way into the adult world. sidered public material or fair game. pen.” “We believed that we might become It is a position we share: does this now Ellis refers here to a joke suppos- “I don’t believe I’m ever an adequate Woy Woy school teacher mean we have the right to sift through edly told at a Union event about Tony going to die. But there is who had written a novel over a number the private text messages of a minister? Abbott’s chief of staff, Peta Credlin. To some evidence that you do.” of years,” Ellis tells me. And needless Of any member of parliament? And this, such ridiculous heights has the sexism to say, the campus movers-and-shakers from the same people who only months furore risen that Coalition members were not glued at the hip. ago were calling for heads to roll at were demanding Wayne Swan apologise tes, and asks optimistically: “Do I look “We were not in one fucking room. We News Corporation over the hacking of for not storming out of the event, even 70 to you?” He laments his failure to were in different coffee shops despising mobile phones? though he was the keynote speaker. become a true ‘man of letters’, a status each other.” “Apparently it is wrong to reveal that Ellis doesn’t think much of the so he awards to heroes such as Gore Vidal, He needs no prompting on how uni- Princess Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, called gender wars: he has known Tony though there is still much forthcom- versity life has changed since then. has nipples,” Ellis analogises. Abbott a long time, does not believe him ing. A successful theatrical production, “I’m appalled. If things close at 7 “As the second highest official in Aus- to be a sexist, and convincingly explains Shakespeare in Italy, just wrapped in and you can’t get a fucking drink in the tralia, Peter Slipper outranked her, and his own animosity towards Gillard as a Adelaide and may live anew in Sydney or Union, then that is almost the death of yet he had no privacy at all.” function of her political ineffectiveness Melbourne, lauded as “better than 27 of civilization, and I’m not understating The implication of his persecution, (“she just gets so many things wrong”) Shakespeare’s plays”. A new book script, that. Unless you can do those things that Ellis says, means that “two billion males and her detachment from the liberal arts The Year it All Fell Down, has been sent have been for 600 years done after hours who have derided the female part and (“she’s never been to a play, she’s rarely to the editor. And he remains intent on at university, then you will not have are still living must be removed from been to a film with subtitles, she hasn’t usurping Gerard Henderson’s column to another generation of Monty Pythons their jobs”. The hysteria and the over- read a novel since she was 18”). return to the pages of the Herald. or Doug Anthony All Stars or Chasers, reaction stem from what Ellis calls He has “some contempt” for those As for going quietly into the sunset, and you won’t have a Bell Shakespeare “wowser feminism”, and it incurs a who accuse him of misogyny. An that is the only project not on the table. company, and you won’t have those wrath he might have once reserved for unapologetic Obama supporter (“the “I don’t believe I’m ever going to die,” small miracles that come out of Adelaide old enemies like John Howard. greatest orator who ever lived”), Ellis Ellis says, deadpan. “But there is some University drama societies and so on. “It’s a threat to everything. It has thus wrote during in 2008 of Hillary Clinton’s evidence that you do.” “You won’t have a generation of far destroyed the world by impinging on “towering frigidity”, describing her as “a @michaelkoziol novelists that might else have emerged the electoral chances of Al Gore through stranger to consistency, sincerity and (at honisoit.com honisoit 11 DRAG KINGS

Lucy Watson gets down and dirty to discover the dreams and desires of local drag kings

e’ve all heard of drag has enough subtleties and complexities bubblegum coloured hair are refused and his signature item: sneakers. Tonight queens. Whether it was that bring it out of the realm of ‘same- entry; one too many beers at The Court- they’re purple, to match his shirt. WMitzi and Felicia conquer- same-but-different’ or the ‘women’s house. The bouncer stops me, I’m not A quick crotch grab and thrust before ing the desert in Priscilla, The Kinks’ version’ of an existing genre, and create regular enough to be recognised. I show the music starts. It’s Chris Brown and Lola, walking like a woman and talking a new type of performance that stands him my ID, a three year old relic display- the Biebs, with “Next To You”. Brown like a man, Australia’s most famous lady, alone on stage. Let me take you to one ing my rounder face and longer hair. “Is is one of his favourite performers. As he Dame Edna Everage, or even The Lion such stage. this you?” he asks. “Yes,” I respond. mimes along the words, he completes a King’s Timon, dressing in drag to do the * And that’s it. I’m in. totally polished hip hop dance routine, hula, we’ve all seen a dancing queen. But It’s Wednesday night. The ladies of Inside, the DJ is playing something ge- occasionally pointing and winking at what about a dancing king? the inner west are making their weekly neric and poppy with heavy , a line screaming girls in the crowd. The music Drag kings. Just like a drag queen only pilgrimage, from The Bank, The Court- of girls with asymmetrical hair cuts are ends, he holds his final pose, before bow- the opposite. Is that what you’re think- house, or (a new addition to the Wednes- ordering long island ice teas, two women ing, and running off stage. ing? Comparing a queen to a king in day family) Birdcage at the Zanzibar, up in singlets are kissing against the wall. I I’ve seen what I came to see. I make this way is almost like saying: “Women? Enmore road to The Sly Fox. The bounc- see the bubblegum haired girls slumped my way to the exit, passing the same sin- Aren’t they just like er waves through the familiar faces, they in a dingy couch, eyes half closed. It gletted couple, still against the wall, and men, only in re- were here last week, they’ll be here seems a friend let them in through the the bubblegum girls, now asleep. verse?”. To some next week. Two girls back door. I turn my attention to the When he is a she, Sneakers is Danica, a extent it works, with stage: a black wooden structure, about RailCorp train guard. She’s been Sneak- and can operate 80cm high, forming a space about ers for six years now. For her, it’s just as a loose frame three metres by three another mode of performance, another of reference, but metres. The form of theatrical expression, albeit the reality is show should be one that’s less well known. She’s used much less sim- starting soon. to explaining what a drag king is, and ple. In reality, Tonight’s how it differs from drag queens. Accord- drag kinging host, drag queen ing to Danica, the primary difference Prada Clutch, lies in the level of excess in performing emerges from a to a masculine or feminine stereotype. room behind the “Queens seem to put a lot of effort into bar to pick her way really looking like the opposite sex,” through the crowd she says. “Whereas I find that kings still and take the stage. want you to know it’s a girl. That’s what The eager girls up people find attractive about drag kings, the front take a seat they look like a guy but you can still tell on the beer-and-who- [it’s a woman].” knows-what stained The clothes that Sneakers wears are carpet, everyone else from Danica’s everyday wardrobe. The stands. Prada Clutch rips only difference in Sneakers’ and Danica’s through a Lady Gaga appearance is her painted on beard, medley with so much the latex singlet she uses to strap her sass you feel cooler just breasts down, and the sock down the watching it, and everyone front of her jeans. Rather than a separate cheers her final, graceful identity, he is a version of her. “Sneakers pose. “Welcome, welcome, is more like certain traits of mine that ladies, ladies and lesbians!” are exaggerated for that character,” she she screeches into the micro- says. “He’s a lot more cheekier, and he’s phone. More cheers. This is definitely a lot more cocky!” He’ll some- only the place they are greeted times hang around after a performance, like that. flirting with his fans, showing off, and Prada doesn’t waste any time. apparently, getting Danica into trouble. She knows who the ladies are Sneakers is a cruisy, cool and collected here for tonight. So after one ladies man. However, this is only one quick, crude lesbian sex joke, type of masculine stereotype. I’m sure she introduces the man everyone you’re aware of others. Just as there are wants. A grinning Sneakers takes different types of men, it’s only sensible the stage. He’s wearing a purple to assume there are different types of shirt with a dapper vest and tie, drag kings. baggy jeans, a fedora low over his * head so we can only just make out Hermann’s is not the first place I think his eye liner moustache and goatee, of when I think of places to see a drag

Sneakers

12 honisoit @honi_soit DRAG KINGS

show. Yet, courtesy of our USU queer camp thing,” she says. “In the lesbian play on the “excess around performing drag kinging and let more people in on coordinators, earlier this year I fin- community we don’t have that campness femininity”, creating a caricature of the the joke, so to speak,” Drysdale says. ished class, and wandered down to our [sic], or that appreciation for that, so woman which is more “visually appeal- “Or whether the fact that it is a subcul- friendly student bar to partake in a queer the only way as a king that you’re going ing” in all its camp theatricality. tural phenomenon can’t be divorced... subcultural experience. As you do. After to appeal to lesbians is through sex, Theorists like Judith Halberstam will perhaps you really have to keep it as a getting some pizza and some free beer, basically.” Antonio’s performance and argue that drag kings do not have that subcultural phenomenon for the joke to I settled into my piece of floor space to costume changes for his audience. When same camp aesthetic. She coined the work.” enjoy the show. he performs at The Sly Fox, he amps term “kinging” to describe the mode of And then it becomes a matter of Bonnie Latoosh is up first, a queer per- up his sex appeal, and tones down his performance of a drag king, one which is whether the lesbian subculture will want former who does a pretty fantastic and “campness”. less about being camp and comical, and to share their “joke” with everyone else. creepy dance to Katy Perry’s California Olivia believes that while drag queens more about performing to a certain male Drysdale isn’t sure. “There’s something Girls. Then it’s my man, Antonio Man- are certainly far more well known, the stereotype, like Sneakers and his cool, nice about going to a predominantly tonio’s turn. Wearing silver booty shorts, visibility surrounding drag kings is ladies man demeanour. lesbian subcultural space and seeing a with a ball stuffed in the crotch, a increasing as lesbians become a more It’s hard to know if the popularity of drag king show, and knowing that there blue ‘poolboy’ tshirt, runners, a blonde vocal part of the queer community. drag kings will catch up with queens is something you have in common with bowl cut wig, and glittery facial hair, “They’re [queer event organisers] start- over time. Perhaps the two are too dif- all these people here. It’s a lot different Mantonio is quite the image. ing to include more drag kings, because ferent to both enjoy mainstream popu- from the experience at any mainstream He runs out, all hyped up on this the lesbians get annoyed when there’s larity. Perhaps “kinging” will never be as club. It’s special.” weird mix of machismo and camp. not enough of us, which is great. But, I visually appealing as camp performance. ‘Pornstar’ by semi-obscure Aussie pop- always wanted to get shows because I’m “I wonder, whether it would simply be rock band Amy Meredith begins, and he just as good as a queen, not because I a matter of exposure that commences a loosely choreographed rou- happen to be one of the few drag kings.” would change tine full of air humping, John Travolta * ala Saturday Night Fever finger pointing, Drag queens have been recog- and tonnes of energy. For the duration of nised as such, and associated the song, Mantonio is running to stage with the gay community, since right, humping the air, running to stage the early twentieth century. left, doing some finger pointing, rinse, While women have been imper- and repeat. The extreme amount of sonating men in theatre for over energy (and pre-pubescent face, despite a hundred years, the term “drag the glittery facial hair) makes it seem king” did not come about until like someone just gave a 12 year old a the 1990s, when the imperson- lot of red cordial and pushed them on ation began to be associated with a stage. Nevertheless, it’s this camp over- lesbian subculture. This delay could performance that audiences love Antonio explain the difference in popularity Mantonio for. of the two types of drag. I try to find Antonio after the show, Kerryn Drysdale, an expert in drag but he’s disappeared. I stay on, drink kings, says this has a lot to do with the some more free booze, and indulge in invisibility of lesbianism as a whole. campus life. “Within a lot of the gay and lesbian Later, when I catch up with Olivia, a liberation movements [of the 1960s and university student and Antonio’s alter 70s], the primary term of reference is the ego, I find out why he disappeared. “I gay male,” Drysdale explains. “So a lot feel very uncomfortable with people of lesbian culture is either just conflated interacting with Antonio off stage,” she or ignored. It’s either considered to be says. “Because he’s a theatrical construct, identical to gay male culture, therefore he doesn’t really exist, he doesn’t really not worthy of any kind of unique study; have his own personality outside three or it’s just simply forgotten that it ex- and a half minutes on stage.” Olivia sees ists.” Antonio as completely separate from Drysdale is certain the drag king herself. “There’s a very clear distinction mode of performance is associated firmly between where I begin and where Anto- with the lesbian subculture, while drag nio ends...that’s very strictly delineated.” queens have been able to break According to Olivia, the main distinc- free of their subcultural tion between drag queens and drag kings bonds and enjoy main- is their performance mode, and this is stream recognition. This is mainly due to their audience. “There is partly due to the differences a lot more sex and a lot more androgyny in performing masculinity [with drag kings], whereas with queens and in performing feminin- it’s more of a humorous thing and a ity. She claims drag queens

Antonio Mantoio

www.honisoit.com honisoit 13 Culture Vulture Ryanactor interview Corr

At 23, Sydney-based actor Ryan Corr has already clocked up a series of TV, film and theatre credits like Underbelly, Where The Wild Things Are, Not Suitable for Children and as rough-around-the-edges Coby Jennings from Packed to the Rafters. He’s now spending his nights in the new Sydney Theatre Company play about relationships in the digital age, Sex with Strangers. Stephanie Langridge caught up with him to chat about the direction our theatres are heading in and his experience as an Australian actor.

HS: You’ve built a diverse has a New York Times best selling book portfolio for yourself. How did based on a blog – writing, but crass and you get here? misogynistic. These two people meet and she gets swayed by the idea of success Drama school tries to train you up as with an eBook. Of course she wants diversely as possible, but what they don’t recognition and money, but all he wants do is prepare you for what the industry is to write something good. He’s not the is like. I was told, “You go for every- ‘sex with strangers guy’, although that’s thing. You take everything.” You don’t who he’s perceived to be in this digital get on your high horse and say you’d world. never do that. HS: The play was written for an HS: So is it about taking what American audience, but you have you’re offered? an Australian accent in the play. I did want some consistency and Why is that? money when I came out of drama school We are Australian, so it was a big and I’d been living off baked beans and thing for Laura Eason when she rang up Centrelink, but the fame is not why I’m and said she couldn’t hear her play in an in it. I’m interested in learning. I went to Australian accent. She said, “You guys Image credit: Remy Xiangk. NIDA to learn more than I knew and put sound real smart. We’re dummies over that on top of what I had and keep going here.” It was really interesting that she further. felt that in our accents we were more in- getting blown up and trying to put on we’re a very visceral generation and this HS: Did you always know you telligent than she felt her characters were a nurse costume and do something like play we’re doing is an example of how wanted to be an actor? – there’s a bloody comment on culture Heath did with The Joker. That’s excit- they’re working with our society. if you’ve ever heard one. We all felt very In my childhood I responded to mov- ing, but I’m not forcing it upon myself. strongly that the play’s themes translated HS: How do you think our theatre ies, and stories, and the way stuff like I’m really happy medium jumping, and better than the character’s nationality. scene compares internationally? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang made me feel. I story and age and accent jumping and We didn’t want to have the audience I don’t think we’ve made a huge stamp did some musicals in primary school and exploring those little parts of myself. sit there and hear the accent and think, on the world, comparatively. We’ve got learned songs and dances with my Dad. I Sometimes you surprise yourself and you “Oh, that’s what Americans think.” We a lot to damn say here, and we’ve always found value in that. learn about yourself as you do. didn’t want to alienate them. been this country that puts our head HS: Tell us a little about your new HS: What direction do you think down. But, there’s not a country in the HS: Is this all part of telling STC play Sex with Strangers. theatre in Australia is taking? world that can offer you more in terms stories applicable to Australians? It’s a modern play, definitely applicable I think there’s a movement to make it of experimenting with so many different I’m very, very proud of being an Aus- to young people. It’s about how technol- more accessible. Theatre’s always been stories, and I’m very respectful of that. tralian. It frustrates me that actors run ogy affects relationships. It explores sex, the struggling best mate in the corner. I off to L.A., chasing fame and fortune. literature, the digital age. think a lot of people distance themselves You’re not necessarily going to be happy Sex with Strangers One of the themes of the play is what from theatre because it can be hard to with that. I’m not resistant to the idea, 24 Sep - 24 Nov constitutes literature today. The other get to the themes and ideas. I think Cate I love the idea of doing films that reach Sydney Theatre Company, Walsh character in the play is a writer sick of and Andrew (the Sydney Theatre Com- millions of people, having a Batman gun, Bay critcism. My character comes in and pany directors) have understood that

verge REVIEW A day in the dome Lane Sainty spent 24 hours in the Verge Dome and came out alive

I expected the Verge Festival’s 24-Hour participation were to follow, interspersed causing an impromptu dance party in the ‘gentlemanly squid’ as part of the gig. I Comedy Gig to be no more than a long with energetic banter from hosts Tom Dome. kid you not. procession of weary stand-up comedians. Walker and Ciaran Magee. As people became tired, the event Needless to say, it was a genuinely In retrospect, I shouldn’t have assumed One of the first challenges was to cre- quickly descended into pure madness, raucous, merry affair. Importantly, it anything at all. The gig resembled the ate a fake celebrity persona, giving birth and there was little time to stop and was also inclusive and interactive, with a twisted combination of a scavenger hunt, to I$iah € Khu£ (aka Isiah Be Khul), the breathe between the numerous fits of genial atmosphere that screamed ‘We’re a high school sleepover, and a religious latest pop sensation from Dubai. By mid- laughter. Our hosts Tom and Ciaran rang all in this together!’ Strangers in the exorcism, with the added bonus of night on Wednesday I$iah had a Face- into Alan Jones’s show early Thursday audience became new friends, volunteer- everyone involved being unquestionably book page, Twitter account, and even a morning to accuse Julia Gillard and the ing to cut off other people’s hair and hilarious. The results were incredible. recorded single titled ‘Sexy Is As Sexy ALP of being literal robots - hilariously, form part of I$iah € Khu£’s highly dubi- A small but enthusiastic crowd Is,’ demonstrating just how far we were the joke was lost on Alan. Later, we ous ‘celebrity entourage’, among other gathered in the Verge Dome at 2pm on prepared to go in our quest for fame. purchased a Kit Kat from the Wentworth things. We all bonded in the weirdest Wednesday afternoon last week, fully (Too far, that is.) Newsagency, using a bag of human hair possible context. By the end, we were all unaware of just how ridiculous the next The song, which features a haunting as payment. One obliging audience mem- dog-tired, in desperate need of a shower, 24 hours would be. A series of bizarre soprano saxophone, was played on FBI ber even got a free tattoo - I’m talking a and frankly delirious - but part of me challenges requiring extensive audience radio at 3am on Thursday morning, legitimate permanent tattoo here - of a was sad that it was over.

14 honisoit @honi_soit Culture Vulture music OPINION Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up, The Doctor Will See You Now May I have your attention please, asks John Gooding

“And Moby, you can get stomped by The writer Gore Vidal once spoke Obie. You thirty-six year old bald-head- of Truman Capote’s death as being a ed fag, blow me. You don’t know me, “good career move”. The dead, and the you’re too old. Let go, it’s over, nobody aesthetic they represent, cannot age or listens to techno!” – Eminem in ‘Without decay any further. Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Me’, released 2002. Cobain and Tupac all evoke the same On the day this newspaper comes out, imagery now as they did on the day of Marshall Mathers, also known as Emi- their death. They and their message are nem, celebrates his fortieth birthday. forever young. Forty. I feel the need to let this truly By staying alive and doing Super Bowl sink in. Eminem is now forty. That’s a bit halftime ads for Chrysler, Mr Mathers too casual, isn’t it? Mr Mathers is now can only cheapen his earlier work. He forty. wipes away the layers of grit. Obviously I cannot think of anyone less prepared one cannot blame him for his decision to make the jump from “in their thirties” to keep on living with his giant stacks of to “in their forties” than Mr Mathers Fighting the ravages of time. money; very few people are willing to die (though Noel Fielding does give him a Left: Eminem today. Right: Marshall Mathers in his younger days. for something as silly as art. However, wheezing powerwalk for his money). stuck into their careers, settling down, Eminem overcame massive adversity to it’s unavoidably disappointing to see The difference between thirty-nine and but still not out of place in a wine bar or achieve immense personal success. Well such a titanic figure of counterculture forty is technically the same as between at a concert. done. However, the narrative wears a keep on rapping into acquiescent middle any two consecutive years, of course, but Whatever activities people in their little thin after time, after album. age, complete with a Hummer H2 and a going from decade to decade means one forties are meant to do, rapping is prob- Similarly, the few social issues over hedge-lined garden. crosses a social marker of sorts between ably not one of them. This is not to say which Eminem has expressed any pas- Some artists age gracefully. Shortly periods of development. People in par- those forty-plus cannot continue to rap sion for have been covered conclusively. after rapper Snoop Dogg turned forty, ticular decades have a slew of stereotypes if they so choose; breaking down social Perhaps Eminem could rap about more he did the decent thing and became a that are meant to apply to them. Those stereotypes can lead to nothing but good. gentle topics, like retirement plans or Rastafarian, changed his name to Snoop in their twenties are meant to be hip, However, the reason people in their how to make sangria, but the format Lion and released a reggae album. One vibrant, impulsive and rebellious. Those forties generally don’t rap is because does not exactly lend itself to quiet intro- can only hope Mr Mathers has a similar in their thirties are meant to be getting they have nothing left to rap about. Yes, spection. vision in mind.

Reviews: music Reviews: exhibitions : Until the Quiet Comes Eugène Atget: Old Paris Exhibition Dan Zwi heralds a hip-hop renaissance Rebecca Allen sees Paris, and Sydney, in a new light

his pen-ultimate release, , What appears, at first glance, to be an a doorway, views that are tantalisingly in 2010. It was a brilliantly chaotic, elec- empty streetscape slowly comes alive. out of reach. What we do see, however, tronic abstraction, frequently without And the longer you look, the more you’ll is incredibly detailed. The tangibility of rhythm itself, let alone boom-bap hip- see. textures, from peeling paint and ag- hop. But its relentless busyness would This is the magic which imbues much ing stone, to cracked wood and shining have become unpalatable if extended to of Eugène Atget’s photography. Span- cobblestones is accompanied by oc- another album. Until the Quiet Comes, ning the late 19th and early 20th centuries, casional glimpses of faint, wraithlike released this month, brilliantly navigates more than 200 rare and original prints figures – people moving too fast to have a path between the psychedelic excesses are being exhibited for the first time in been captured by the long exposure of Cosmogramma and the beat-making Sydney at the Art Gallery of New South of Atget’s camera. Though the sheer template of Flying Lotus’ youth. Wales. Though his work became highly number of prints can seem overwhelm- A certain ethereal sound permeates influential in artistic circles, particularly ing, it is well worth taking your time in Until the Quiet Comes. It’s comprised of among the Surrealists, Atget never saw front of each. The longer you spend, the harp, low-toned keyboard and ambient himself as an artist. In fact, he was not more the details emerge – the decorative There was a period about five years chords. It’s more jazzy then electronic. even fully trained as a photographer, but patterns carved into a doorknocker, the ago when rapping, but not the music When applied over a beat (sometimes began his career selling photographs of motif appearance of a ladder, a reflec- behind it, became passé. Up until then, hip-hop but mostly not), its weightless- Parisian landscapes as studies for paint- tion of Atget’s camera in a window, or beats were there to be rapped over. ness is offset wonderfully by the percus- ers, illustrators and set designers. ghostly faces staring back at you through Increasingly, they are being released as sion’s momentum. The technique is used While they may not be classified as the glass… songs in and of themselves. Fans like me to greatest effect in songs ‘Heave(N)’ and ‘art’, to characterise Atget’s photographs The exhibition runs until the November revelled in hearing those hallmarks of ‘Electric Candyman’ (featuring Thom as a form of ‘documentation’ somehow 4, with concession tickets at only $8. hip hop – the languid and snare Yorke). fails to convey their evocative nature and There are even prizes to be won in an on the second and forth – unpolluted by But the best tracks on the album are striking depth. His subject was Old Paris Instagram competition of Atget-inspired the human voice, the songs progressing undoubtedly those with female vocalists. – the parts of the city saved from Baron images of Sydney. Whether you’re a pho- by way of textural changes in lieu of And compared to his previous releases, Haussmann’s drastic demolition pro- tography aficionado or not, the magic verses and choruses. Until the Quiet Comes is positively grams in the 1850s, which would make nostalgia of the “Old Paris” show is Instrumental hip-hop quickly became replete with the human voice. Niki way for boulevards, parks and the metro. bound to linger on well after you leave. a ‘scene’, centred in Los Angeles, where Randa appears on both ‘Getting There’ Rather than focus on the grandeur of the the genre’s crown prince, , moved and ‘Hunger’, her wandering melody Belle Époque, Atget photographed lesser from Detroit in 2004. He joined Madlib and heavy delivery in the latter recalling known areas – those forgotten streets, at Stones Throw Records, which became Bjork circa Vespertine. ap- alleys, squares and facades of a Paris of experimental hip-hop’s preeminent label. pears on first single, ‘See Thru to U’, her yesterday. Very much of this lineage, Flying Lotus inimitable voice sitting modestly in the Atget’s photographs are not simply released his first album, 1983, two years mix just above the instruments. snapshots of old buildings; they capture later. Until the Quiet Comes is full of the old light of the city itself. This soft That the genre has flourished is both restraint and subtlety, not too busy, not glow, preserved within warm sepia and a blessing and a difficulty for those who bland. The use of guests is self-effacing purple-brown tones, is just one element popularised it. With everybody and but not sycophantic, the use of electronic which lends the almost eerily deserted their uncle now making beats, what was sounds just right. Flying Lotus has cre- urban landscapes a particular humanness Flying Lotus’ stock in trade has become ated an album which sounds like the or living quality. Atget’s use of fram- mundane. Acknowledging this, he broke future but nods graciously at the genre ing frequently draws the eye into the away from hip-hop almost entirely on that he helped to define. distance, around a corner or through honisoit.com honisoit 15 Tech & Online Tech Opinion Oppa Gillard Style: social media in modern Aussie politics The democratisation of news through the power of social media has been on full display over the past week, writes Justin Pen

It was the smackdown that was heard Peter Hartcher of The Sydney Morning reported – perhaps because real policy around the world. Shared and reshared, Herald remarked that the Prime Minis- doesn’t arouse as much interest as feel- tweeted and retweeted, Gillard’s impas- ter’s grandstanding “achieved a serious good rhetoric. It should be noted that the sioned evisceration of Tony Abbott in loss of credibility.” major newspaper’s coverage was concur- question time may stand as the nation’s The distinction between the social nar- rently lacking; a majority of stories on first parliamentary viral video. For a rative and the press gallery’s reportage the issue were either buried, or released brief moment in Australian political his- revealed more than just the gap between days later. tory, it was Oppa Gillard Style. popular perceptions and professional Social media has had mixed results punditries; it demonstrated the very real, with transforming online opining into democratic power of social media. Most community action, and provoking real, Facebook and Twitter users viewed Gil- social change. Readers need simply cast lard’s speech in its entirety, without the their minds back to KONY2012, the in- usual cherry-picking and editorialising ternational, online crusade now emblem- from the nation’s newsmakers. For once, atic of keyboard slacktivism and porous a great number of Australians collective- information. Conversely, and closer to ly consumed and interpreted a moment the home, the online petition to boycott in Parliament for themselves, free from Alan Jones’ major sponsors has garnered partisan opining – and the reaction was ostensible success, with over 115,000 Facebook’s social narrative offered lit- overwhelmingly positive. digital signatures. Days later, the owners Traditional news houses must work tle additional commentary save for a few Watching the Prime Minister’s compre- of 2GB, Macquarie Radio Network, alongside new media, not against it enthusiastic lines of support, celebrating hensive breakdown of Abbott’s record of indefinitely suspended all advertisements Gillard’s counter-offensive. Her speech, misogyny – robbed from the shock jock’s breakfast program. changes, traditional journalists still have in the hermetic context of social media, of context – en- To appropriate Wayne Swan’s words a role to play as providers of context and appeared as a tirade against the creep- gendered its own on inflation, the “social media genie is nuance, in the reportage of contempo- ing sexism that’s infiltrated the nation’s issues. Amidst out of the bottle” – and there’s no way rary, complex social issues. To validate political discourse; she was a genuine all the merriment to convince, coax or jam it back it in. their salaries, however, they must engage spokesperson of the people. of endless video For traditional news empires to remain with their audience, and work with A different story emerged, however, circulation, the current they must not, and cannot, an- them. Indeed, in order for the fourth when one turned to mainstream media Senate’s passage tagonise these new media outlets; instead estate to remain relevant, newsmakers coverage. The Australian presented a of Labor’s amend- they must work alongside them. At- must be both social and media. tarnished view of the feminist fairy-tale, ments to decrease tempts to ‘Stop the Trolls’ or call ‘Cyber- asking if it were “possible for a political Labor’s cuts to single the single parent Bully’ in the face of genuine criticism Justin Pen is on Twitter: party to have more egg on their collec- parent payments payment went will achieve nothing. @justipen tive faces than Labor and Julia Gillard?” went under reported severely under- In spite of these frenetic technological

The new R18+ rating: an unmitigated disaster The much lauded video game classification was supposed to be a triumphant win for Aussie gamers, writes Andrew Passarello

and psychological harm to gamers. The correctly treated as especially dangerous Australian Government came to the same compared to films, you get bizarre rating conclusion in 2010 after commissioning comparisons between the mediums. Saw its own review. III and Halo: Reach, two MA15+ titles: Despite this, the Australian Classifica- one is a hyper violent gore film with little tion Board have again put out guidelines plot, the other is an interactive space which incorrectly direct video games to be rated more stringently because of their interactive nature. This interactiv- ity clause is the reason many games were banned in the past. Violence has never been the only way to get you on the wrong side of the Aus- sie censors. Blitz: The League, an Ameri- can football game that allows the player to use performance enhancing drugs, opera with graphic violence on par with The new R18+ classification is defined on the basis of pseudo-science bullshit was refused classification in 2007. Marc Star Wars Episode IV. Ridiculous. Ecko’s Getting Up, which allowed the Instituting an R18+ rating was never In early September, the Classification tential for harm or detriment, particu- player to graffiti public buildings, was the solution. It should have been part of Board released their new video game rat- larly to minors.” refused classification in 2006. Australia a much larger and intellectually focused ing guidelines. This included the newly This is only a minor snippet from a was the only country in the world to ban one. Proponents should have been push- instituted R18+ rating, the one that the document teeming with pseudo-science either game. Under the new guidelines, ing for new guidelines that didn’t rely on gaming community has been clamour- bullshit. There is no evidence that the both games would still be refused clas- specifically disproven ‘science.’ What this ing and campaigning for relentlessly interactivity of video games in any way sification. means is now when something like the since the early 2000s. Drinks all round increases their impact over film and We’re worse off because the morons upcoming GTA V arrives, it’ll be unfairly gamers, job well done, we’ve saved video other media. This was one of the reasons running this R18+ campaign have slapped with an R18+ rating, and I’ll feel games in Australia and we’re no longer California’s violent video game sale ban wasted all the political capital on the like I’m purchasing a snuff film when I the laughing stock of the world! was slammed down by the Supreme issue simply to entrench the status quo. go to buy it at retail. I really do wish that were the case. Court. An amicus brief was submitted to Proponents used the daft “protect the The only ones to blame are the Instead, this new R18+ rating has only the court by a coalition of 82 scholars children” line in the hope they could masterminds behind this moronic and made the situation exponentially worse. and scientists. They charged that the expedite their access to uncut sex scenes misplaced campaign. Hopefully it’s A brief read of the new guidelines reveals evidence used to claim interactivity made in GTA IV or something. No seriously, done right in five years or so when the this: games more harmful was based on “the advocates interviewed on television for local games industry and community get “Due to the interactive nature of same old research … that has been re- the campaign and the major Everyone- another shot at reform. At least we’re computer games … computer games jected as fundamentally flawed by every Plays campaign employed that exact line: protecting the children, right? may have a higher impact than similarly court that has ever considered it.” They the campaign did nothing to address the themed depictions of the classifiable ele- resolved that existing studies showed no real problems with Australia’s classifica- Andrew Passarello is on Twitter: ments in film, and therefore greater po- correlation between violent video games tion system. When video games are in- @qapn

16 honisoit @honi_soit Action-Reaction science opinion SPORT opinion Higgs-Boson team robbed? Rugby league’s culture must change Virat Nehru questions the 2012 Nobel Prize in Physics verdict Michael Coutts pens an open letter to the Chairman of the Australian Rugby League Commission the definitive information regarding all variables at play is not available and Dear John Grant, as time progresses, scientists gather I love watching rugby league. I always more data about variables previously have. But I cannot stand the way the unknown, which leads to proving game treats women. theories right or wrong. The only thing more shameful than Let’s take a look at one of the greatest the Bulldogs players who vilified female scientists – Albert Einstein. In the reporter Jayne Azzopardi at their Mad early 20th century, Einstein’s theory of Monday celebrations with colourful epi- gravity indicated that the universe was thets like, “Suck me off you dumb dog”, either expanding or contracting at a was the weak response by the game’s ARL Chairman John Grant. Serge Haroche of France (left) and constant rate. However, the majority administrators. First, Bulldogs CEO Photo: The Australian David Windeland of the US, who shared of the scholarship of his time believed Todd Greenberg issued a report claim- the 2012 Nobel Prize in Physics. that the universe was static and so, ing that the abuse was “not directed” at into incidents like the Bulldogs’ Mad Photo: Einstein added what was termed Ms Azzopardi and so there was no need Monday celebrations, or, if you insist on as the ‘cosmological constant’ to to either name or personally punish the letting clubs handle it, you must be will- The Nobel Prize in Physics was accommodate the traditional thought players responsible. While the rest of us ing to punish players yourself. announced last Tuesday and it was of his time. Of course, in the 1920s, sat back and said, “Oh yeah, that seems On the subject of punishment, please shared between Serge Haroche and Edwin Hubble (after whom the Hubble a logical response to a plausible explana- lay down the law like you care. It is David Wineland for experimental telescope is named) proved that the tion…” the ARLC missed the sarcasm pitiful that Robert Lui was only banned methods in measuring and manipulating universe is in fact, expanding. In 1998, and endorsed the Bulldogs report and for a year after being convicted of as- charged atoms. The choice was puzzling, astrophysicist Saul Perlmutter and others actions as perfectly reasonable. saulting his (then pregnant) girlfriend by considering the rhetoric of 2012 has discovered that the universe was not Mr Grant, you clearly lack the ideas headbutting her and kicking her in the been shaped by the announcement of the only expanding, but expanding at an and/or conviction to bring rugby league temple. Players who assault or sexually discovery of the Higgs-Boson particle. accelerating rate. Their work got them into the 21st century in terms of its atti- assault women should be given life bans. The question for the jury was – does the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2011. tudes towards women. Allow me to give If you think that is too harsh, then at the ‘announcement’ of the discovery Hence, giving the Nobel Prize for you a few pointers. least ban them from representative foot- of the particle in itself deserve to be definitive conclusions that prove an event Firstly, take more responsibility for ball for life. It is insane that men who recognised? There have been questions ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ goes against the very controlling player behaviour. Clubs hate have been convicted of bashing and/or because the exact properties of the nature of the subject. having to reprimand their players, partic- raping women are allowed to be the face particle have not yet been determined. The Nobel Prize should continue to ularly good ones, because that increases of the NRL by playing in State of Origin Yet this hardly seems to be a justification recognise substantial breakthroughs the chance that they will play badly or or for the national team, the Kangaroos. for denying what can be determined as a in the field, notwithstanding whether leave for elsewhere. That is why you If nothing else, please break up the breakthrough in particle physics. they are proved ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in the need to hold your own investigations boys club and bring more women into There is precedent to suggest that future as more information becomes the fold. Whilst I am not expecting you the jury does give out the Nobel available. to be progressive enough to appoint a Prize for works that are yet in the The Higgs-Boson particle may be the female to the vacant CEO role (though experimental stage. In fact, at the time of key to determine why particles have Australia recently handed consideration this year, Mr Haroche and mass and the existence of the universe. former premier Kristina Keneally that Mr Wineland’s methods of measuring For Peter Higgs, after whom half the position in their organisation), increas- and manipulating quantum systems particle is named, at 83 years of age, it ing the number of women on boards and were not definitive in themselves. The would have been an acknowledgment of in commentary boxes would be a great point is not to undermine or derogate a lifetime of pioneering work in particle start. the enormous efforts of the winners of physics. I love watching rugby league. I always this year, but rather, to validate the very After all, we don’t want the Nobel have. I believe that nothing could stop nature of science. Prize for Physics to become the sideshow Players change their kits once a year in me from watching it. Please do not prove The nature of science is not exact. that the Nobel Prize for Peace has recognition of women’s involvement in me wrong. Science, and especially physics, is a become, with a past recipient being the sport, but is it a tokenistic gesture? Kind regards, continuous empirical process of trial Obama, and now, the European Union. Photo: Official website of the NRL fans who believe in equality. and error. At any given point in time, Newcastle Knights

SPORT opinion State of the union Richard Withers wonders where this crop of Wallabies is going wrong

injuries sustained prior to and during In Australia’s six test victories, their ‘toxic’ environment, condemning their the campaign. For a crop of players once biggest winning margin was by 8 points ‘boring’ style of play. And while the briefly tipped by daring pundits to be in the first test against Wales back in enigmatic playmaker’s confusing rant favourites in time for the 2015 World June. Regardless of their injury woes, the asked more questions than it answered, Cup in England and Wales, things aren’t lackluster 23-19 win against Argentina the potential loss of the star 24-year-old exactly going as planned. would have done very little to satisfy the to a rival code wasn’t part of the script While injuries have played their part, 22,000 in attendance at Gold Coast’s written for this young Wallabies side. a disappointing Super Rugby season for Skilled Park. But it could have been The ARU wanted Australia to be the Australian sides offered early indica- much worse, and very nearly was. No.1 team in the world by now, but tions that the ever-dominant All Blacks After being hailed a foreign messiah, every step taken since mid-2011 has been were never likely to lose their grip on the Robbie Deans will be keeping his visa a backward one. The fitness of Austra- The loss of influential scrum-half Will Bledisloe Cup. safely tucked away as voices for his re- lian teams was lamented as a key factor Genia has hurt the Wallabies in recent This season’s mixture of heavy losses moval gather into a chorus. The miracles in their Super Rugby efforts this year, weeks. Photo: FoxSports and narrow wins (Australia remarkably he worked with the Canterbury Cru- and opposition tactics in slowing down Australia’s dour, face-saving victory averaged a winning margin of 4.5 points saders are becoming a distant memory Wallabies ball suggests that this cur- in wet conditions against Argentina over six tests) have enabled Australia to and his tactics (particularly Australia’s rent group need to reinvent themselves in Rosario was one of few memorable cling to their ranking as the second best ineffective kicking game) and relation- to achieve the successes we expected of moments in an arduous season for the team in the world. And while this ability ship with Wallabies players have been them. With the European tour fast ap- Wallabies. to grind out results is not only admirable scrutinised. proaching, the Wallabies will be looking That they finished second in The Rug- but crucial to success, it’s the lack of a It seemed to be highlighted when to take their first step back onto the path by Championship is a worthy achieve- single convincing win this season that Quade Cooper took to Twitter to level we all expected them to follow. ment considering the farcical number of will have spectators concerned. claims that the Wallabies camp is a honisoit.com honisoit 17 Lecture Notes

The Quiz SUDOKU 1. Which two actors appear in the films , The Dark Knight Rises and Batman Begins? What is special about 2. In what decade of the 20th century did the Russo-Japanese the following sequence War occur? 3. Which of the following is the name of the type of rockets of numbers? used for the famous series of Apollo space flights? 8 5 4 9 1 7 6 10 3 2 0 A) Saturn B) Jupiter C) Mercury TEASER 4. In what year was Stephenie Meyer’s first Twilight novel published? TARGET 5. What three colours would you find on the Jamaican national flag? y R Y 6. True or false: Ian Thorpe is aiming to compete at the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro? N O N 7. Who was the father of Xerxes, whose Persian forces unsuc- cessfully attempted to invade Greece in 492-490 BCE. D G a 8. ‘Air Dolomiti’ is an airline that originates from what Make as many words out of the letters above, country? KENKEN always including the letter in the centre. 9. The computer abbreviation ‘OS’ usually means what? 4 = The smallest squared prime. 10. Which three countries constitute the modern Baltic region 10 = An even natural number following 9. in Europe? 15 = A triangular, hexagonal & pentatope number 11. New Morning is an album released in 1970 by what American singer-songwriter? 12. Stuart Diver is the sole survivor of the Thredbo landslide that occurred in what year? 13. French actor Marion Cotillard won her only Oscar for Best Actress in what film? 14. Montevideo is the capital and largest city of what country? 15. Based on population figures of those who identify as such, what is the largest religion in the world? 16. Pathophobia is the fear of what? 17. Who is directing the trilogy of films based on The Hobbit and other material written by J.R.R. Tolkien? 18. Who is the author of Alice in Wonderland? 19. Who was elected Speaker of the House of Representatives after Peter Slipper stepped down last week? KenKen tips: 1. Numbers can not repeat in any row or column. 20. Who famously uttered the words “my fun days are over” 2. The puzzle is split into boxes called “cages”. 3. In the upper left-hand corner of each cage is a target number and shortly before dying in a car crash? a mathematical sign indicating how the numerals within a particular Answers below. cage interact to produce the target number. CROSSWORD 1. Run-down pier ready for plucking (4) 19. Exposed checks? Hell! (4) 3. More hairless sprint is a load of non- 20. Bubbly province (9) sense (10) 23. Clergyman and friend upset amongst 10. MP, or malarian painter (15) broken china (8) 11. Drop loaned again (6) 24. Anglos accustomed to jingle (6) 12. Godforsaken ruin (8) 27. 14-ac written, phonated, miscon- ACROSS 14. Make merry, bee; rectal inflamma- strued (5,3,4,3) tion (9) 28. Ramshackle hardtops or creepy- 16. pool initially let in crawlies (8) drowned offerings (4) 29. To hear say “not absent” (4)

1. Give account and dock again, perhaps 9. Betrothed to Beyonce, I hear (7) (6) 13. Roguish chess-piece for 22-ac of 2. Italian bucks and a penny, back to sorts (10) jeopardy (5) 15. Jesus’ body and blood heats uric acid 4. A coyote might escalate first to sum- (9) mit (4) 17. Girl ape, spoiled legume (8) 5. Mister Wolf’s favourite occasion? 18. Law logs cut for deadly frame, per- (6,4)

DOWN haps (7) 6. Calculate cause (6) 21. Result adjusted for Irish province (6) 7. Liveliness through image manipula- 22. Agitated and on the verge (2,4) tion (9) 25. Devour egg or canyon (5) 8. Sycophant suspended from 17-d, 26. Womaniser puts the “you” in sexu- perhaps (6-2) ally transmitted disease (4)

Paps

-The numbers are in alphabetical order. (eight, five, four, nine, one, seven, six, ten, three, two, zero) two, three, ten, six, seven, one, nine, four, five, (eight, order. alphabetical in are numbers -The Teaser Brain Dean James 20. Burke Anna 19. Carroll Lewis 18.

Jackson Peter 17. diseases of Fear 16. billion) (2.1 Christianity 15. Uruguay 14. Rose En Vie La 13. 1997 12. Dylan Bob 11. Lithuania and Estonia Latvia, 10. System’ ‘Operating 9.

- 1. Michael Caine and Cillian Murphy 2. The first decade (the war was from 1904-1905) 3. A) Saturn 4. 2005 5. Yellow, green and black 6. True 7. King Darius I 8. Italy Italy 8. I Darius King 7. True 6. black and green Yellow, 5. 2005 4. Saturn A) 3. 1904-1905) from was war (the decade first The 2. Murphy Cillian and Caine Michael 1. - Quiz The Answers:

18 honisoit @honi_soit SRC Help

Moving Out of Your Rental Property? So you want to move out. What should you do? Ask Here is some information on usually just have to pay either a fine or ending a rental agreement. the remainder of the rent owed for the agreed period of rental. Sometimes you Abe can find someone to take you place in the Are you going to complete the length of agreement to avoid paying this money. Hi Abe, your agreement? The replacement person has to be a Refer to your original contract or reasonable replacement for you though. lease. It should state an end date. If it For example, you need to have a similar I have a monster phone bill and is a contract you should be able to give capacity to meet rental payments. simply can’t pay it. I’ve ignored notice to your landlord equivalent to the When am I considered to have left? it for a while, but now they’re frequency that you pay rent, that you threatening me with a debt collector. You have only completely left your rental are moving out on the end date. If it is I’m not on an income so I really can’t when the landlord (not another tenant) a lease this amount of notice is either 14 pay them back. What should I do? has received all copies of all of your days (fixed term agreement) or 21 days keys and other doorlocking devices (like Disconnected (continuing agreement). Notice should swipecards). You also have to provide be in writing. This does not include text contract have that changed before you “vacant possession” which means all of messages and may not include email. It go. If you are on the lease, regardless of your belongings have been moved out. is best to send this by letter. whether you live there, you are legally What if I want to move out and my and financially liable for the condition What if you want to leave early? Hi Disconnected, housemates want to stay? of the premises. Make sure you keep There is usually no problem leaving You will need to find a replacement a copy of the new lease or contract to a rental agreement early. You will I wonder how much “a monster” for yourself. If you are on the lease or show that you are no longer on there. is. One thing I do know is that ignoring bills doesn’t tend to make them disappear. Generally speaking with large companies like mobile My Own Money: Qualifying as phone companies, they will get debt collectors as they cannot afford “Independent” for Youth Allowance to have people think they will not Youth Allowance is a payment is fairly rare. You may also be able to collect on their bills. The SRC has available to Australian full-time claim independence by virtue of being solicitors that are available to you students who meet a certain set of in a marriage like relationship. You will for free. They may be able to help criteria. Sometimes it is available need to have been in this relationship you to negotiate your repayments. for no less than 12 months while sharing The University’s Financial Assistance to students who are considered indicate that there is a serious risk to a home, sharing bills and income, Office may also be able to loan you dependent on their parents. However your physical or mental well being due having a permanent outlook to your some money so you can pay you bill, this is assessed on your parents to violence, sexual abuse or other similar relationship, and being able to show then repay your loan, interest free, combined gross income. There are unreasonable circumstances. It is also that your family and friends view your over a period of a year or so. a few ways of being considered considered unreasonable to live at home relationship as permanent. Another way Abe independent, and therefore not if your parent/s are unable to provide a to prove independence is to show that it assessed on your parents’ income, suitable home owing to a lack of stable but rather your own. is “unreasonable to use at home”. accommodation. Abe is the SRC’s welfare dog. The easiest way to be deemed “Unreasonable to live at home” is Of course there are lots of details and If you would like to ask Abe a question independent is to be 22 years or older. a specific term that has a particular conditions that you should know about. send an email to [email protected]. If you come from a country area you definition. It indicates that there is Abe gathers his answers from experts in Contact SRCHelp if you would like to a number of areas. Coupled with his own may be able to claim independence extreme family breakdown or other apply. expertise on dealing with people, living through previous work. However this similar exceptional circumstances. It may on a low income and being a dog, Abe’s answers can provide you excellent insight.

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honisoit.com honisoit 19 SRC Reports

President’s Report: Sexism- in politics, and on campus [email protected] Phoebe Drake believes in equal opportunities for women I’ve learnt the hard way that when is entitled to a fair trial. The Prime years, where women have failed to make how to deal with sexism when I experi- fighting sexism, one should always be Minister also stated she found Slipper’s up one third of all councillors elected. ence it. ready to be attacked. The unfair media comments on female genitalia to be Whilst the SRC has Affirmative Action This for me, most often occurs at response to the Prime Minister’s fantastic distasteful, and confronted Abbott on his provisions for most Office Bearing posi- the SRC meetings I chair. In my most speech is testimony to this. As the Prime own sexist beliefs. tions, it has no requirements for council- recent meeting, a member of council was Minister confronted Abbott on his sex- And to be perfectly honest, Clemen- lors, and thus it is up to the respective ejected after calling me a ‘witch’ for a ist views regarding a woman’s right to tine Ford hit the nail on the head in her groups running to ensure women are decision I made from the chair. It is, in choose, a woman’s role within society, article in the Daily Life where she said, placed at the top of their tickets to en- fact, my chairing that attracts the most and women in politics, my Facebook was “I know what misogyny looks like. And sure election. commentary with comments on twitter inundated with messages of support for I’d rather a man compare my vagina to a I have also had friends argue that, and blogs after each council meeting. I the Prime Minister. delicious, briny creature of the sea than because we have a female SRC President, either do not ‘crack the whip’, or, when “I will not be lectured about sexism have them tell me they know better than and a female USU President, Sydney I’m particularly severe, I am likened to and misogyny by this man. I will not. I what I should be doing with it.” University students are doing pretty well a ‘kindergarten school teacher.’ It’s a The government will not be lectured This, I feel, is an accurate summation in terms of representation. And whilst bizarre dichotomy that would never be about sexism and misogyny by this man. of the situation. Abbott’s view that I that is a great thing, student representa- applied to a male chair and it pisses me Not now, not ever,” the Prime Minister have no right to bodily autonomy is far tives on faculty board are overwhelm- off. said, as her front bench nodded in agree- more offensive than Slipper’s comments ingly male, and there also has not been It is important that women on this ment. that a woman’s vagina looks like a mus- a female student member of senate in campus not only have the same opportu- Yet Australian media chose to be criti- sel. several years. nity to excel as men, but feel they can do cal, suggesting that the Prime Minister’s The thing is, sexism is not just restrict- Whilst these issues can, and should be this free from sexism and misogynistic. support for Peter Slipper was more ed to the political arena. Sexism and addressed, through the establishment of It is not purely, however, the responsibil- offensive to women, than Tony Abbott misogyny is alive and kicking in society- Affirmative Action provisions for Faculty ity of women to call men out on sexist is on the whole. Clearly, those spout- whether it be on campus, in our media, Boards, we also need students on campus behaviour, but also the responsibility of ing this message did not watch the same or everyday life. And I believe sexism, in to recognise these problems exist. In men to challenge sexism and misogyny speech as me, because what I saw was an all instances, should be challenged. my time as SRC President, I have learnt when they see it. This includes on cam- eloquent argument on the separation of In the recent SRC elections, 15 out of many things - how to chair a meeting, pus, at social events, online, in the com- powers, where government and courts the 33 councillors elected are women. how to interrupt others when they’re munity, and everyday life in general. should not overlap, and each person Notably, this is an improvement on past speaking to have my voice heard, and

Vice President’s Report: 2012 SRC Activism [email protected] Tom Raue recounts some of the year’s greatest victories

Soon the SRC office bearers will be campaign stunts forced the university disgusting treatment of refugees, for a its students so that less wealthy students replaced by a fresh team, so this will to change its original plans. The SRC green campus, rights for disabled and and those from regional areas can afford be one of my last Vice Presidential saved jobs, which means smaller class international students and a safe campus to live and study here. reports for Honi Soit. I’d like to take the sizes, less stress for your lecturers and for women and queer students. We have On the off chance you read this in opportunity to look back at some of the a continuation of academic research sent activists to conferences across the time, we are holding a rally at 1pm things the SRC has done this year. unhindered by unrealistic KPIs. country to share skills with others, and Wednesday October 17 starting outside In first semester, the SRC ran an The SRC changed its electoral bring ideas back to our university. the Madsen Building on Eastern amazing campaign against staff cuts at regulations to include lower spending The biggest campaign the SRC is Avenue then heading to SUV. The rally the university. Starting as a small group caps and a restriction on non-students currently involved in is to stop rent will not be the end of the campaign. of dedicated activists before classes campaigning. We decided that the increases at Sydney University Village. I encourage everyone to send emails even began, the campaign expanded only people who should have influence SUV is intended as affordable student to [email protected] telling the rapidly into a ubiquitous presence on over our student organisations are the housing, but rent is being increased to management how you feel about the rent campus. Several rallies of up to 1500 students themselves, not outside political a minimum $256 a week, meaning a 22 increases. people, a referendum of 4000 students hacks. per cent increase over the last two years. It’s been a great year for activism at in which 97 per cent of you opposed The SRC has continued to support Few students can afford to pay this and the SRC. I can only hope next year is the cuts, an occupation of the Dean our activist collectives which have study full time. The university must even more impressive! of Arts’ office and many more great fought against the government’s commit to providing cheaper housing to

General Secretary’s Report: SSAF [email protected] Tim Matthews thinks the SSAF is penny wise for the University, but pound foolish for student bodies

The Student Services and Amenities legislation to ban compulsory government settled on the bastard child a post-SSAF environment as our federal Fee (SSAF) sucks. membership to student organisations of VSU and CSU – that is, a fee which legislators had potentially hoped. We There, I said it. The legislation is around the country (‘Voluntary Student does not entitle you to be a member of still face challenges about the extent poorly drafted, shabbily executed and Unionism’). At many Universities, any student organisation, but which to which student input is valued in the ultimately not in the best interests of thankfully not our own, student unions is a mandatory contribution towards process of SSAF allocation. Question students. It sucks. And for the last three were forced to cease operations or them. The crucial difference, here, is marks still exist over the 2013 allocation weeks of my life has been causing me no were amalgamated into the University, that student organisations no longer – and many organisations (including the small measure of grief. decreasing available services and charge this fee, but rather the University SRC) are facing a tighter budget in 2013 Now, before I get praised by some reducing student control over what charges the fee and distributes the money than they even had prior to the SSAF for decrying compulsory student services did continue. The University of according to a series of regulatory legislation. The University, rather than unionism, and stoned by others for Sydney, as they will be quick to remind guidelines. expanding budgets and services with being anti-student: allow me to clarify. anybody who lingers on the issue for So, why do I think this system is bad? their approximately $11 million extra I do believe that all students ought to too long, provided substantial financial Well people will be quick to point out of student funds, has chosen to transfer contribute to student services on campus, contributions to student organisations that the SRC received a substantial the previous allocations to student I just believe that the manner in which during this period (to the tune of around chunk of the SSAF money in 2012 organisations into the SSAF pool. that occurs under the SSAF scheme $10.5 million per annum). (around $1.49m). Which is great, and Unfortunately, it seems that, rather ultimately disadvantages many student Enter the Gillard Government and the which has seen a substantial expansion than answering questions about the organisations (and certainly the ones on 2011 Student Services and Amenities Fee, of our services. However, the process future of the funding of student services this campus). for which you would have been charged of negotiations with other student on campus, the SSAF merely raises The story will be all to familiar to $263 this year. Not wanting the potential organisations and the University over several more. regular readers of Honi: the Howard political ramifications of reintroducing the last year has made me realise that Government in 2006 introduced Compulsory Student Unionism, the our funding is actually not as secure in

For more information about the SRC, visit: www.src.usyd.edu.au 20 honisoit @honi_soit SRC Reports

[email protected] Ethnic Affairs Report: Offshore Processing Marijke Hoving and Kate Giunta call on students to stand up and fight Labor’s ‘Pacific Solution’ is in full Howard’s cruel policies aimed to and physically. statement was supported by over 100 swing with 210 asylum seekers deported ‘stop the boats’, subverting Australia’s For example the head psychiatrist on detainees; who were forced to do so to Nauru to live in makeshift tents. commitment to welcome refugees under Nauru, Dr Martin Dormaar, described anonymously, for a well founded fear of Labor is calling this a humanitarian the 1951 Convention. the camp as a “psychiatrist’s nightmare” further persecution inside detention. solution - to stop the deaths at sea. However, these policies didn’t even saying that ‘‘I seldom or never encounter The tireless bravery of these protestors But the only way to stop deaths at sea work on their own terms. During the an asylum seeker who still sleeps soundly on Nauru should not be necessary once is to provide a safe passage. six years of the Pacific Solution, just 24 and is able to enjoy life. Mental health, they have reached our country. Where people are threatened by war, boats arrived carrying 1129 asylum- or psychiatry for that matter, is basically Yet, as the words of an Indigenous torture and persecution they will flee seekers. This fall in boat numbers is not equipped to improve their situation leader speaking at the rally remind us, by any means necessary and have an often seen as proof that the Pacific in any essential respect.’ this racist politicking is not without absolute right to do so. If the Labor Solution worked. But it had nothing Dr Dormaar eventually resigned precedent. government was really concerned with to do with Howard’s policies. Instead his post because his reports on the The welcoming of refugees by the saving lives at sea and helping refugees it reflects a global decrease of asylum deteriorating mental health of the asylum original custodians of this land carries it would decriminalise people smuggling, seekers due to push factors. Between seekers were being ignored. far more meaning and weight than any commit to the safe escort of boats from 2001 and 2006 and the United The return of offshore processing is report Angus Huston may give, and any Indonesia to Australia, re-introduce States had a 47 per cent decrease in disgraceful - but it is not the time to legislation the parliament may pass. community processing and guarantee asylum seeker applications, Europe had despair, it is the time to fight! This Labor government is Australian resettlement. a 54 per cent decrease. Afghani asylum This is what the collective and a implementing policies worse than Instead Labor is returning to the seekers fell by 85 per cent during this significant student contingent did last Howard, and just as under Howard we disastrous policies of Howard. time. The increase in boat numbers after Sunday at a mass rally in the CBD must build a pro-refugee campaign that 2006 has not been because of a softening opposing the government’s Pacific will halt Gillard’s racism in its tracks. We of asylum seeker policy in Australia, but Solution 2.0. The Green’s Sarah Hansen- have done it before, and we must do it because of the violence and persecution Young, representative from Labor For again. Students have played an important in Afghanistan and Sri Lanka. Refugee’s and many other speakers part in the pro-refugee campaigns in What Howard’s policy did do was proclaimed the inhumanity and racism the past, and we need to continue this spend more than $1 billion to brutalise evident in these policies of deterrence. tradition of fighting racism both on- over 1500 asylum seekers - most A concurrent rally on Nauru, where campus and off-campus. of whom were found to be genuine only days ago the first suicide attempt The Anti-Racism Collective meets refugees. The conditions on both Nauru under the new laws occurred, demanded every Tuesday on the New Law Lawns at and Manus Island were terrible, and the singularly and simply the initiation of 12pm. asylum seekers suffered both mentally the processing of their claims. Their

[email protected] Education Officer’s Report: Managing your load Sam Farrell teaches us how to keep track of your subjects

At the risk of sounding like a testimo- A) You can make them up in Winter load semester to make up at the end of nial advertisement, has this ever hap- and/or Summer School. your degree. Part-time study (although pened to you? You get about half way Apart from the absurd notion of it may leave you bereft of benefits like through the semester and realize the day replacing your holidays with Uni work, youth allowance) is often a great option before the census date that there is just this option can set you back several for ye amongst us who are balancing no way you can cope with a full time thousand dollars; FEE-HELP is available, work, study and whatever else. Not only load. but not subsidized like your average does it give you time to enjoy your sub- You drop down a couple of subjects. HECS scheme is. Not only will it leave jects, but who knows, you might actually Easy. you penniless and holidayless, the subject end up being good at a few of them. And then, voilà! You’ve successfully you need might not even be offered at The most important thing to do is fucked up your degree progression! your particular seasonal school. So that’s plan. Not all of these options will always Well, have I got solutions for you!? Not not always an option. C) Tack on a semester or two at the be open to you, and you’ll often find it a really, no. It obviously depends on how B) Overload. end of your degree. pain in the ass to organize credit points many subjects you’ve dropped or how You’ll have to check with your faculty In most cases, you’ll just have to take you’d forgotten about because you many prerequisites you’ve left behind first, but you can generally take more the units you’re eligible to take and then awkwardly failed a subject in your first for exchange or work or whatever, but than four subjects a semester if you have make up the lost units at the end of your semester at Uni. dropping down to part time (being two the stamina or craziness. For those of degree. For instance, if you take two sub- Go and talk to your faculty; they don’t subjects or less) or even three (which still you who struggle with the normal full- jects on a whim for one semester, why bite. And if they do, then you can always classifies as full time) leaves you with time load like me, this doesn’t even enter not do part time again the next semester come to see the SRC caseworkers on three alternatives. your mind. and then you’re left with one full-time Level 1 of Wentworth.

[email protected] Women’s Officer’s Report: Reclaiming the Night Annabel Osborn wants everyone, male and female, to fight misogyny Recent media cov- to tackle the bigger issue – persistent and with a number of upcoming events and currently working on reinvigorating the erage has brought to pervasive gender inequality in Australia. projects organised by the women’s col- women’s journal ‘Growing Strong’ – so the fore an issue that These stories are often undermined by lective. keep your eyes open for call outs for generally goes unre- comments such as Jill Meagher’s murder Reclaim the Night Sydney 2012 will contributors! We’re also collaborating ported and unnoticed being a ‘random attack’ and the Bulldogs involve two events this year. Firstly, there with the Sexual Assault Clinic at RPA – Australian women simply being ‘bad guys’. In other words, will be a march preceded by a picnic in hospital to work on raising awareness are abused, harassed, there is an attempt to isolate such hor- Hyde Park on Sunday the 28th of Octo- on campus about help and resources for assaulted and discriminated against on rendous incidences from the culture and ber (open to everyone!). Secondly, there victims of sexual assault/harassment. The a daily basis. From the devastating news society in which they occurred. will be an autonomous (women-identify- campaign will be launched early 2013. of Jill Meagher’s rape and murder to Rather than placating the public by ing people only) dance party at the Red As always, all women-identifying Gillard calling Abbott a misogynist in characterising these events as ‘one-offs’ Rattler on Friday the 2nd November. students are invited to come along to parliament to the Bulldog’s atrocious or otherwise unusual, attention should Both these events are about protesting collective (it’s never too late in semester treatment of a woman journalist. be brought to fact that discrimination, violence against women and reclaiming to start coming!) at 1pm on Wednesdays These stories have highlighted the abuse and harassment is a feature of public space at night where women can in the Women’s room on the middle floor appalling manner in which women are many womens’ daily lives. feel safe and empowered. of Manning. Any question/queries please treated in their personal and professional In light of this, I would encourage the Check both events out on Facebook! email us at lives. However, the media generally fails university community to get involved As well as these events the collective is [email protected].

honisoit.com honisoit 21 The Sandstone Report

Another Day, Another Drink with Dr Rupert Thorogood crouch, I saw a raven, perched upon the “Caw-caw!”, the Raven screeched sill, tapping on my window. I flung open as it unexpectedly took flight. I stood, the window and without so much as a transfixed in wonder, as I witnessed the hello, this ebony bird perched above my resplendent corvid take wing, soaring chamber door and promptly shat upon through the celestial sphere, only to hit the floor. It was then that it occurred the window next to the one it entered by. to me that the Common Raven is not I rushed to help but before I could rouse indigenous to Australia… As I mulled my stationary body from its reverent over what misguided migratory path stasis, the Raven was gone. must have led to this obscure ornitho- It was then that the phone rang. A logical occurrence, I was, naturally, disembodied voice, a bureaucratic mono- taken aback when the raven spoke. tone, an offer of condolences, then si- “Beware, beware”, the Raven cawed. It lence. Deathly, career-ending silence. My was then that it occurred to me that as recent academic success had dredged up well as being a non-native species the my research output from some long-for- Common Raven doesn’t normally speak! gotten annals and, given that I had failed Perchance he for whom this carillon the carillonist at the Hermes launch, the As I turned toward this magical speak- to meet my research expectations, I was bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows result of which was that she has now ing bird, thinking of the untold wealth now under consideration for redundancy. not that it tolls for him; and perchance I taken to timing her practice to coincide and fame that this would no doubt bring The call had come from on high. I was may think myself so much better than I with the nadirs of my hangovers. As me – try fire me now Spence! – I realised left reeling, my worst fears realized. am, as that they who are about me, and the bronze bells boomed, reverberating this was either just another dipsomania- “Was there ever a people whose leaders see my unkempt state, may have caused around my alcohol-addled mind, I heard cal daydream that I would awake from were as truly their enemies as this one?”, it toll for me, and I know not that. the sound of someone gently rapping, mouth dry and soul slightly splintered, I meditated with existential dread. I had Donne was right: you can’t trust these rapping at my chamber door. “Tis some or worse still: it was a portentous omen! been a fool! A drunken, arrogant fool! fuckers. visitor”, I muttered, lurching to my feet, “Beware, beware”, the Raven repeated. No man is an island, entire of himself; I know not who it was, nor perhaps “probably Belinda and nothing more”. I “Beware what?” I replied. every academic is a piece of the univer- will I ever know, but someone in the opened wide the door, only to be greeted “Beware, beware”. sity, a part of the scholarly machine. If faculty has betrayed me. Not one by the corridor, empty as before. Deep “Beware what? Beware whom? an academic is made redundant by the week after I was finally published in a into that hallway peering, long I stood Belinda? Is it Belinda? Is Belinda trying administration, the university is the less, reputable journal – The Wongwibindah there, wondering, fearing; doubting my to kill me because I never finished read- as well as if the sandstone was not main- Literary Quarterly Literary Review, no sobriety more than ever before. Back ing her thesis?” tained, as well as if an obesity centre less! – I was celebrating with a mugful into my chamber turning, the Listerine “Beware, beware” – I was beginning to were; any academic redundancy dimin- of mouthwash and vanilla extract when inside my belly burning, soon again I suspect that the Raven was not actually ishes education, as we are all involved in I heard the bell toll... This, in and of heard a tapping somewhat louder than as magical as I’d first thought. I crossed pedagogy. I was an ignoramus to believe itself, was not that out of the ordinary; before. “Surely”, said I, “surely that isn’t the floor quietly, hoping to commune that I could escape the neoliberal noose, despite being repeatedly rejected, I had perfectly good Campari on the floor.” with this majestic ebony passerine. that I could be one of the lucky few. I thrown caution to the bin like so many As I leant down to grab the bottle, I “Speak now avian sage”, said I as I need not send to know for whom the bell empty bottles before it, and persisted heard the knocking for the third time. extended my hand to stroke its sable tolls; it tolls for me. with my malodorous advances towards Looking up from my alcoholic half- plumage.

to anyone with an ATAR I spoke to Sally Myers about what always admired the students who go on over 99.7! their plans were for the society. She the road-trip for their altruism. It’s not trictly ara Thank god we finally per- said they wanted to “curb the culture of like anyone from those schools get into S S suaded ‘Dissent’ to withhold elitism and excess in SULS”. Um. What law anyway. their nomination. ‘Justified Sally? How are you supposed to hold a Sally then started asking me about our Dear Honi, for a mean SULS, in and out of the moot party without a bouncer to keep people policies. The nerve. She pushed me on It’s been a tough couple of weeks but court room’. Dissent would have made out and a ticket price high enough to our stance against Affirmative Action with the help of my inspirational quote an awful exec anyway. I mean, not a sustain vodka-sodas? in SULS. I told her that if she disagreed board and daily insty-sesh I’ve made it single member of the Law Revue was on Then it got worse. She started calling with me she needed to grossly reassess through. You are now looking at the their ticket. And the Law Revue is funny. the SULS road-trip “self-congratulatory” the position of women in Sydney Law. newly elected Socials Officer of Sydney And awesome. and “tokenistic”. I couldn’t believe how If women are disadvantaged then why University Law Society! So I took it upon myself to suss out the out-of-touch she was! If I had to board did Maddie Finkler just win the consti- With our democratic mandate the *almost* opposition and see why they a bus to speak to the unruly kids at tutional law moot? Why was one of the ‘Justified’ team are working to enhance felt entitled to run against Justified, a Newcastle College and Fort Street High Law Revue producers a woman? And the strong history of Sydney University’s ticket with both current Vice-Presidents about Sydney Law School I’d need more why did my dad tell me that one day his best and richest society. We will work and famous food-blogger and polo than congratulations. Chamomile tea, firm would make me partner? pro-bono to provide the most cham- player Marcus Vanderbeek. some Lana Del Rey, and cuddles would Wake up Sally, the future is bright. If pagne, jumping castles and ice-sculptures be needed. Pronto. Personally, I’ve only you and ‘Dissent’ bothered to look. Politics and Privilege - Queer Activist Quinn Hey peeps, before you read any further seemed not even our study group was cause you acknowledge that we I’d suggest you all take a seat in the clos- safe from the brute force of oppression can never be truly free of the est safe space you can find because I have and homophobia. I confronted Tayl*r patriarchy. Then she came for an especially confronting story to share and asked her to check her privilege, you, and there was no one left with you today. Last week, my Judith but she was unrepentant. In an act of to speak out because Tayl*r Butler study group was having a par- Stalinesque suppression, she had the au- had cut out all of our tongues ticularly intense discussion about what dacity to claim that my hair colour was as a result of the natural colour I should dye my hair in order to an inappropriate discussion topic for our progression of her attempts to best subvert the heterofascist orthodoxy study group. censor our study group.” when Tayl*r, our study group’s *em*le- At that moment, I knew we were The whole thing soon de- identifying convenor, viciously attacked standing on the edge of a precipice, if scended into chaos and we de- me. We were on the threshold of reach- evil was allowed to prevail, all hope cided to set aside the next ses- ing consensus when she turned to me would be lost. So, I turned to the other sion for discussing an official and spat, “Can we discuss this another members of the study group and roused grievance policy with several Tayl*r is dead-ringer for this guy, moustache and all! time? We’ve got a fair trade protest to them to action: “First Tayl*r came for attendant office bearers. Tayl*r organise.” our discussion topics, and you didn’t and I have also entered into mediation I can at least temporarily stall the unre- As the cruel inhumanity of her words speak out because it wasn’t your hair we and I’m slowly helping her overcome her lenting, goose-stepping march of Tayl*r’s violated my soul’s every orifice, I reeled were discussing. Then she came for our hatred and ignorance. It’s going to be a privilege, it’ll all be worth it. back and began hyperventilating; it freedom, and you didn’t speak out be- really difficult journey, but I know that if

22 honisoit @honi_soit Den Norske Nobelkomite The Norwegian Nobel Committee Every year since 1901 the Nobel Prize has been awarded for achievements in physics, chemistry, physiol- ogy or medicine, literature and for peace. The Nobel Prize is an international award administered by the Nobel Foundation in Stockholm, Sweden. In 1968, Sveriges Riksbank established The Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel, founder of the Nobel Prize. Each prize consists of a medal, personal diploma, and a cash award. After having been disappointed by this year’s winners and the insufficient number of categories, we, here at Honi Soit, have drawn up our own list of laureates:

The Honi Prize for Literature: The Honi Prize for Peace: Lance Armstrong The European Union A master of both written and verbal fic- Look we know the EU does’t really tion, Lance Armstrong is unparalleled in deserve it but just think of the 8 million- his creative abilities of fabrication. De- krona (AUD$1.2 million) prize as a spite only coming to literature relatively tax-exempt contribution to the European recently, since 1999 Armstrong’s output Stability Mechanism. “We knew that has been prodigious to say the least. He Greece couldn’t ask for more bail-outs is also recognised as the inspirational without Germany forcing it out of the founder of the prestigious writing collec- Eurozone,” Thorbjørn Jagland, Chair- tive US Postal Service/Discovery Channel man of the Norwegian Nobel Committee Pro Cycling Team. Armstrong said his said. “It was this or let those fiscally- literary influences include: Pinnocchio, retarded Greeks really go down the Bernie Madoff and Richard Nixon. shit-hole.” The Honi Prize for Chemistry: The Honi Prize for Physics: Robin Williams George Lucas Robin Williams invented flying rub- George Lucas invented ‘the force’. This ber! FLYING. RUBBER. How was the award is well overdue. Albeit a fictional scientific genius of this man not recog- creation, Honi believes the force is so nized earlier? For years the aeronautical motherfucking amazing that we’ve an- industry has been trying to mass-produce nointed George for simply thinking it up. an economically viable flying car and this Here’s a choice quote: guy figured it out by accident! Plus he’s “The force is an energy field created by in a whole bunch of movies! We admit all living things, it surrounds us, it pen- giving Obama the Peace Prize in 2009 etrates us, it binds the galaxy together” was a blatant publicity stunt but c’mon - Obi-Wan to Luke. Deep. this guy’s a scientific rockstar! And yes, we do write Jedi under religion on the census. The Honi Prize for Medicine: The Honi Prize for Big Tobacco Diplomacy: In 2012, Big Tobacco has been single- North Korea handedly leading the medical vanguard Admittedly North Korea tends to keep to to combat rampant misinformation itself, but it’s bloody good at it! surrounding the connection between to- bacco products and cancer. For instance, did you know that smoking cigarettes actually improves your respiratory health because the so-called ‘carcinogens’ remove unhealthy, or weak, cells, leaving you with only the strongest, fittest lung cells. The Honi Prize for Art: The Honi Prize for Politics Jason Russell Despite disowning 47 per cent of the Jason Russell turned self-serving, Chris- American voting public, making infa- tian hypocrisy into an art form! Unfor- mous right-wing nut-job Paul Ryan the tunately Mr Russell could not attend the Robin to his Batman, and being the liv- awards ceremony, but he did send us an ing embodiment of corporate greed and acceptance speech - a video of himself the very worst excesses of capitalism, naked, furiously masturbating on a one decent debate performance and this public street. guy’s back in the running. Just look at this smug motherfucker! Did you know?

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