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UNSW Master of Fine Arts Degree [encapsulated self] 2010 Cynthia Belanger School of Media Arts College of Fine Arts TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT iv EPIGRAPH 1 INTRODUCTION 2 THE ESSAY 5 CHAPTER 1: DETOURS 1.1 EXHIBITION PRELUDE 7 1.2 THE VIEWER AND THE EXHIBITION 7 1.3 ONTOLOGICAL ISSUES 8 1.4 INTERMISSION 9 CHAPTER 2: INTERSECTIONS 2.1 PHOTOGRAPHY 10 2.2 FAMILY PORTRAIT 11 2.3 BODY ART 15 2.4 WRITING WITH LIGHT 16 2.5 VIDEOGRAPHY 17 2.6 VIDEO EXISTENCE 19 2.7 WORDLESS 23 CHAPTER 3: CROSSROADS 3.1 GALLERY CONTENT LIST 24 3.2 EXHIBITION 25 CHAPTER 4: ROUTES 4.1 STORY OF THE SELF 45 CHAPTER 5: JUNCTIONS 5.1 LUCID_ME 54 5.2 IN CONCLUSION 56 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 58 ARTWORKS 59 APPENDIX I 61 APPENDIX II 64 APPENDIX III 65 BIBLIOGRAPHY 66 ABSTRACT The research project explores the concept of the self/other in contemporary art practice with its focal point as self-portrait and portraiture. The proposal sought to explore the concept of self/other not only as ‘content’ but also as a route for thinking about art and a process for art making. The work is informed by American self confessional strategies. The mediums of photography, video and sculpture were employed within the art practice. The exhibition is intimate, confrontational, multi-faceted and constructed within a multi-modal format. The chaotic and seemingly random nature of imagery and objects consists of bits and pieces of information. Interaction contingent with the viewer and memories creates an embodied or encapsulated self. In agreement with post- modern theories the exhibition illustrates one thing or many things. It illustrates what is known or can never be known or is always evolving. The story of the self is examined from a theoretical and historical perspective with a psychological bent owing to my own exposure to analysis. The role of art and what it does in terms of exploration, criticism and adaptation superimposed upon my theory of self may supersede any theory of self. The photographers Nan Goldin, Nicholas Nixon, Julia Margaret Cameron and Orlan inform the work. The subjective documentary video of Ross McElwee and poetic video of Bill Viola are noted. Gian Bernini informed with his emotive, and figurative sculptural works. The work has the potential to evolve as self/other is fluid and adapts in response to interactions within and outside of the body and the artistic search for truth. EPIGRAPH To suggest the recurring theme of the uncertain ‘truth’ of the essence of the nebulous and mysterious nature of the self and thoughts of its existence, I have included the following quotations. • “There is a certain average tone of self-feeling, which each of us carries about with him and which is independent of the objective reasons we may have for satisfaction or discontent.” (William James, 1890 in Koole & DeHart 2007:21- 49) • “One can never unveil the essence of masculinity or femininity. Instead, all one exposes are…representations.” (Kauffman 2000:143) • “One opens the circle a crack, opens it all the way, lets someone in, calls someone, or else goes out oneself, launches forth. One launches forth, hazards an improvisation. But to improvise is to join with the world, to meld with it.” (Deleuze & Guattari 1987:343) • “[That] which categorizes the individual…attaches him to [an] identity, imposes a law of truth on him which he must recognize and which others have to recognize in him…is a form of power which makes individuals subjects.” (Foucault 1983:208) • “You’ve got yesterday, today and tomorrow all are in the same room and there’s very little you can’t imagine happening.” (Dylan 1974) INTRODUCTION My area of discipline spans the field of time-based art as it cuts across the edges of photography, video and sculpture as contemporary art intersects and creates hybrid forms of representation of the self. Upon investigation, it was noted the history of man’s search for that within, and its corporeality has been in existence since antiquity. A quest was taken in search of self, consciousness and truth. I was searching for my own truth. The proposal sought to explore the concept of self/other through research and image making. Other as in the unknown in oneself and other as that which is outside oneself came under scrutiny. Self/other is used not only as ‘content’ but also as a route for thinking about art and a process for making art. The research project examines the concept of self/other with a focus on self-portrait and portraiture using confessional strategies as process. Exposure to analysis during early college years enabled a comfort with confession to another to expose deeper levels of self. Using the mediums of photography, video and sculpture, the works were created to expose in bits and pieces a fluid sense of the self through interaction contingent upon the viewer and memories. The project is drawn from personal history and the plethora of research and thought in the sciences and philosophy. I have chosen artists who evince a questioning of the unseen self and their appeal to me is an element of truth or something triggered within myself. The few chosen caught my attention, stayed with me or perhaps became hidden inside to cast a spell upon my own work practice. The subject may not be corporeal and it seems unknown what it does. Some think it leaves the body or reincarnates upon death; while others believe it does not exist at all. The aim of the project became to reveal layer upon layer of myself through my own diary documentation work to expose my own self/other. Although at the time I had no awareness of this process. I studied my face and drew self-portraits, photographed myself in mirrors, digitally enhanced and mutated my own face as a starting point. I studied artists who created works using the face as representation and researched their thoughts. I studied the sciences for models of being. Later I found I was able to represent myself through objects not of my being and able to expose layers of myself that even surprised me in their existence. I exposed other to myself through the research. This other was an unknown to me and became a part of me. The process of exploration and criticism of my own art practice with outer and inner stimuli created adaptation within me. I found myself to be always evolving. My art practice shifted levels. The face was the starting point perhaps because as babies we biologically are attracted to it with intensity. Most intriguing was that the face was not the key to ‘truth’ within the body of the individual. I dealt with this conflict in the post graduate seminar tell me who you are (2009). I entered in the white satin wedding dress I wore as a bride to symbolize the fork in the road I had taken. I finished in a Ralph Lauren dark green plaid men’s pajama top I wear now many years later. Exposing. This was to reference how much I had changed in the intervening years while still inhabiting the same body. This was provocative of intersections taken in my own life. The work hopes to conjure both intimately and collectively thoughts of memory, loss, distortion, destruction, reconstruction and transformation. I opened my own Pandora’s box as I researched and lived the complexity of self during my years of study. I became fearless in my quest but it had its consequences. I questioned, “who am I?” and “how did I get this way?” furthering into “am I changeable?” In academia, this is known as the “re-identification question” and is at the heart of Western analytic philosophical thought that surrounds self-knowledge theory (Schechtman 1996:169). It asks, “Is there an authentic self?” I ask what would be different if it did not exist? Are there some people for whom it does not exist and are they crazy, psychopaths, directionless or isolated? Philosophers, social scientists, psychologists, social critics and the sciences continue to have a dialogue about the self. They continue to agree to disagree. It is beneficial giving deeper thought to the dynamics of self-conception as cultural, political, economic, media and self-interested parties use tactics to control self-behavior. I suggest self-awareness is beneficial to ones being. The exhibition illustrates one thing or many things, and that what is illustrated is known or can never be known or is always evolving. I suggest a genderless, wordless consciousness or self resides within each of us. Finally, I propose a new theory of self that incorporates the impact of art upon the individual. The role of art can be superimposed on my theory of self as it helps in the individuation of self through exploration, criticism and expansion to produce an always evolving self. The project has been cathartic. Is the purpose of art to purge? Can art heal inner wounds? Can my issues be shared and identified within the viewer? Does exposing the self create ‘meta-awareness’ within the viewer? Can the viewer find his own truth through experience with the exhibition? Can art change the nature of the individual through truth? The installation may be seen as narcissistic segmented non- linear photographic and video narrative and not a single grand narrative that would give it the status of serious art according to Krauss (2010:3-19). It speaks to contemporary thoughts of the self as a series of narratives that allow the viewer to perceive his own truth of representation of the self.

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