WALKING AWAY FROM EXPLOSIONS IN SLOW MOTION

WALKING AWAY FROM EXPLOSIONS IN SLOW MOTION

GREGORY CROSBY

the operating system brooklyn new york c.2018 the operating system print//document

WALKING AWAY FROM EXPLOSIONS IN SLOW MOTION

ISBN: 978-1-946031-33-4 Library of Congress Control Number: 2018948570 copyright © 2018 by Gregory Crosby edited and cover design by Lynne DeSilva-Johnson text design by Michael Flatt is released under a Creative Commons CC-BY-NC-ND (Attribution, Non Commercial, No Derivatives) License: its reproduction is encouraged for those who otherwise could not afford its purchase in the case of academic, personal, and other creative usage from which no profit will accrue.

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2018-19 OS System Operators CREATIVE DIRECTOR/FOUNDER/MANAGING EDITOR: Lynne DeSilva-Johnson DEPUTY EDITOR: Peter Milne Greiner CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: Kenning JP Garcia, Adrian Silbernagel JOURNEYHUMAN / SYSTEMS APPRENTICE: Anna Winham SOCIAL SYSTEMS / HEALING TECH: Curtis Emery VOLUNTEERS and/or ADVISORS: Adra Raine, Alexis Quinlan, Clarinda McLow, Bill Considine, Careen Shannon, Joanna C. Valente, Michael Flatt, L. Ann Wheeler, Jacq Greyja the operating system Brooklyn, NY www.theoperatingsystem.org

For my mother {who waited a very long time} & For Abigail {without whom none of it would matter}

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments xi

I

A Dog Barks in the Distance 3 But That Ship Has Sailed 4 Walking Away From Explosions in Slow Motion 5 Lonely Starbucks Lovers 6 Extended Play 7 Apologia for Pat Benatar 8 Lachrymorpheus 9 Bluebeard Has a Shave 10 Dope & Baller 11 Mid-Life 12 The Soul, or Whatever 13 Memoir 14 Only Reflect 15 Proof of Concept 16 Nine Rooms 17 Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast 18 We’ll Be Back in Just a Moment, But Faust… 19 Last Call Aubade 20 The Revelator 21 Something to Fall Back On 22 Are Your Headaches Just a Dead Twin Inside Your Brain? 24 China Can’t Stop People from Hiring Funeral Strippers 26 ----- 27 Learning to Be Disappointed in a New Way 28 The Glass Delusion 29 We’ll be the Death of Me 30 Not Safe for Work 31 Charleston 32 Night’s Plutonian Shore 33 Netflix & Chill 34 The Phantom Time Hypothesis 35 Journal of the Plague Year 36

II

The Condolences 39 Phoenix, 3 July 40 Wing, Prayer 42 A Sort of Homecoming 43 I Keep It Together By Falling Apart 47 The Photo That My Girlfriend Took of One of Her Riding Students Hugging a Horse & Then Emailed to Me 48 Home of the Bottomless Cup 49 Found Poem Lost 50 Portrait of Jenny 51 Whiteness 55 Even the Boss Monsters of the Dark Enlightenment Are Weak Bitches 56 All the Pierced Tongues in Porn 57 A Call to Something 58 The End of Decembers 59 OWith! 60 Echo Says 61 Voyeur 62 In Camera, I Walk With You 63 Late Show at the Orpheum 64 Blue, Blue, Electric Blue 65 The Marquis of Sad 66 Deathshuffle 69 Que sais-je 70 Super Tuesday 71 The Barricades 72 Intense Sequences of Peril 73 Flashlight 74 Challengers 75 The Hardest Working Lazy Apartment Poem 76 Amor Vincit Insomnia Vincit Amor 78 You Can’t Walk Out on the Shakespeare Squad 79 Fallow, Harrow, Hollow, Hallow 80 Nine Masks 81 Wasteland United 87 Solstice Goddamn 88

III

Dial H for— 91 Empitaph 92 The Green Light Goes Out 93 The Electors 94 This Week in Hate 95 The Petition 96 The Witness May Step Down 97 Covfefe 101 The Mother of All Bombs 102 A Draw 103 The Other Shoe is a Severed Foot 104 In Memory of When I Cared 105 The Midterms 106 Meanwhile, at Stately Wayne Manor 107 Okemos is an Unincorporated Area 108 You Say Chiasmus, I Say Chimera 110 Zoo Trope 111 They Were Singing Rhiannon, Not Vienna 112 Throwback Thursdays 113 Solstice II: The Revenge 115 A Volta 116 Gregory Crosby Marked Himself Safe During the Violent Incident in Las Vegas, Nevada 117 Under the Firehouse 118

Notes 119 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Desert Companion “Apologia for Pat Benatar” “Voyeur” “The Other Shoe is a Severed Foot” “A Volta” “Gregory Crosby Marked Himself Safe During the Violent Incident at Las Vegas, Nevada” Flapperhouse “Nine Masks” Fog Machine “Lachrymorpheus” Gargoyle “Walking Away From Explosions in Slow Motion” Hyperallergic “The Hardest Working Lazy Apartment Poem” Linden Avenue “The Revelator” Luna Luna “In Memory of When I Cared” “You Say Chiasmus, I Say Chimera” “They Were SingingRhiannon , Not Vienna” Posit “The Marquis of Sad” “Solstice Goddamn” Still “A Dog Barks in the Distance” Yes Poetry “Empitaph” “This Week in Hate” “The Petition”

I

| /// 3 /// .

ood morning A DOG BARKS INA DOG BARKS THE DISTANCE to no one. The soundsThe that animals to make made are picturein books: the a bear sound of talking a rooster of in sleep, its that in only dreams, crows that roosts & the a crow of caw in no dreams, white, that’s that nor black is a crow neither all voice. its at of thecolor color for except makeshorse sound The old an withask,you justits eyes when Why alternately kick long face? the Or the you dog & rescue, in think that mind your you place when to goes is full the world how otherabout living of things, with lousy is positively the living world how things: the sound that makes dog that frees in & condemns the same woof dog The barksthat distance, the in the mangy trope that signifies loneliness, all illusion its (although, & promise know that you nothing only let there to sometimes, is it’s hearshappening so something that Everyone dog; can). pictures a different seen Everyone it. ever one’s no likely more a mutt, the perhaps, blessed dog, purebred thatmutt with redeems all fuzziness, its dark its eyes looking as falls up nose its earth to like a shooting star. or growl... howl bark, & safe,desolate beyond dog’s That likeA courtesy, the sounds that humans are make, to made talking in clearing our sleep, our throats g say to \\\ 4 \\\ | HASBUT THAT SAILED SHIP the sunset. Only sunset. an accidentthe sensation, apleasant Almost your feet. under from sand wave the the sucks while the horizon crisscross They have sailed. ships the All sailed. it, but has ship see that But You it is. it know when say you you’ll No, no, that’s not quite it. toonly think, you light up holding keep to the something never able be you’ll to match,that color sky’s the the chip of apaint until &take, ever days do,but take that’s all us where Let’s the see day takes You thought, you say, makes that are There accidents no kind accident, the It of an course, was , they’ll say. , they’ll . , | /// 5 ///

IN SLOW MOTION , . : all those . Fucking badass WALKING AWAY FROM EXPLOSIONS AWAY WALKING , walking away It’s all is world canalways The you It’s do. behind the you, catastrophe time, of the airexchange of & fire, wave the raising force theof hair the on back of neck, a rivuletyour unseen sweat of allby the unseeing your eyes on gaze, theblank face that I’m says walking away I’m gettingI’m with away something opportunities findyour to body framed boiling by galaxies flame, of all it above not shrapnel, by untouched like it, of in front out the futurebut itself back. look can’t back; you look don’t you no Fuck A cinder in might eye your ruin the shot. might taste suddenly salt. of A world \\\ 6 \\\ | LONELY STARBUCKS LOVERS White on green, time drifts. Covers us. kiss. We drifts. on time green, White whoosh. apocalyptic foams, Milk you look. She’s It’s amyth. everywhere amyth, all Taylorwho declaims, doesn’t Swift exist. old to man an lovers Starbucks Lonely sings, Agirl hand. uppicks atiny, trusting cup.mitten empty empty on An an name wrong down the Someonelife. writing is for line the from indistinguishable the line bathroom, breath offor The white. the to enjoy precedes Breath us, White. aFlat is lifethe The blizzard Accumulation alike. look snowflakes To all sidewalk, the , the hourglass sighs. hourglass , the . We flatwhite trudge | /// 7 /// EXTENDED PLAY

. The The thing chronic about time is it’s that town, sundown before of Better out get the dead lightbefore devours those wolves, lower, higher, the you thathours hunt thangardening The high can & low know. the ends: pruning, never the where-it’s-at night, & then it’s clipped from nowhere, that’s again, stars unseen againstthe carnival lightof bleed. What really are you of made this,if not sorts, this of Out brick? stupid under the the covers, bed box a black recording dreams.for thought, of Trains the cars full could live a 1,000,000. darkness. of You is Time stride: a stumble. you, won’t. You \\\ 8 \\\ | APOLOGIA FORAPOLOGIA PAT BENATAR it’swhat until they’refor fighting late. too top.the It’s okay. Most soldiers don’t know to goWaiting over for signal the hand. in gun One foot parapet, on the that’sBut have abattlefield. it way. your prophecy: self-fulfilling slaughter’s thenfattening, a & a flattening save dimensions one haveall removed, been vision afieldfrom which of depthless; is of blasphemy,that’s atype where death asilence who things, were once than other people it isn’t. gouged earth, trees, Blasted choreographythe to prove it, but You say &have love abattlefield, is | /// 9 /// LACHRYMORPHEUS The second-person is Everything’s a fix,nod. I Why isn’t there a word for Amy asks, a word there Why isn’t crying Lachrymorpheus, a dream? in says, people Most Nick I glibly reply. desire of instead a life live of itself.life theEternally, Baron writes, And I asshould see again you… you saw I I try say to whom of vain in You nothing here… uncommon, I tell students.uncommon, Why my might raises And a student it? choose her you To story. the into you put hand: To make happen it you. pillow to & my why. remember is wet. I can’t & \\\ 10 \\\ | BLUEBEARD HAS A SHAVEBLUEBEARD of its implacable, orderly teeth. worn surface &worried to the silently follow, key, the murmurs awhorl of red rising don’tI follow of the Ravens’ chances this year? you think do stroke), What upon stroke (steady So heart. of his mirror weather out calm of heavy the to make waiting a storm of steel, out beyond there, reason or reasons, of aslippage beyond just its consciousness: dreaming dimly apulse artery, an like how pocket, it throbs his in key of the unaware There havemust a been reason, he reasons, his neck. of taut softness the skin, his scrapes Wasn’t edge it? the brow as His furrows tothen. uncover. back empty was Thechamber There secret tono die. was for came her can’t remember one how first the it was barber’sof the &suddenly head, bald the top flaring bulb He bare watches the he must never enter. It there’s seems mind aroom his inside why?triumphantly, So wry. her smile once, her eyebrow him even checkmated arched one third the own; held more their Others than They were lovely, mostly.Some shy.were very Why? himself, he asks ceiling, the in cracks at the of ababy boy’s Staring blanket. &dye), vanity to his hue on the slowly (thanks takes problemhis The is. hot white, towel, blinding strop, he the wonders precisely, with what, tango razor’s to the chair, listening the In , murmurs Bluebeard. Idon’t Bluebeard. , murmurs , asks the barber barber the , asks

| /// 11 /// BALLER & DOPE , & so & baller in thesame sentence, This is how it is to suddenly feel old: old: feel suddenly to it is Thishow is hands removing the rings fingers from your began corpse your is It cold. before closed, Records around the time that Tower escape reached velocity. it’s & now a quotidian atrocity, It’s thanworse the grinding gears penury, of this being in rooted the twentieth only but weed smoked I never century. all, at because smoked I never a vow small when made all that’s I carry present theinto oblivious now, as a quantum& absent mechanic. Dreams, they compartmentalize life. my History is made seem to unfair is.it In an interview, a woman saysdope & together they& together sound like an august firm, a growing commercial concern, in can penance, which of one a form do rad & fab & grottyan awesomely penance, the groovy the at tip bomb of exploding tongue your What? into What? What? nothing.I repent I confess less. is does. asClueless Also clueless silence. \\\ 12 \\\ | Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra del vita... Nel mezzo MID-LIFE The eraser is crazy The eraser by. on, asuggested abased a remake, its reboot, awaiting I’m afranchise myIn old jacket, my school star-dust tie, That’s stars! those all (You water’s the tell look, can black because, I. the water called black with filling are My voice out when only rings my lungs to The Man. and man, to father the I am never need be. I’ll that for all child &poster imposter imposture, an spine, of the curvature I’m book with the lives. for long offuel the their winters professors, the only gathering care; most assiduous the collectors Only off. checked obsolete format. Achecklist, this on time available first track, alternate an released, before never I’m re-recorded, covered, recovered, aversion,time. like first read for very the I’m anew translation, everything. said forget I Forget anything, Isaid wait can’t can’t They just They pencil. wait. the is So . about me. where they’ve been hiding!) been they’ve where | /// 13 /// . THE SOUL,OR WHATEVER The phrase The friendly ghost is uh, so, haunting spiritsby the flatteredIs ever house refusewho depart? to Does the ghost who carries in head its hands its say, ever holding this I was someone for only Hey, else. police The kick in & door the there holding are, left you bag, the empty that not. existence. Or maybe it’s body, Maybe there are crumbs a few in the bottom, fumbling, deeper, reach to just have & you grasping. could shake If only you out, it mysteriously it but the body, refuses itself. Only upend to time can that. do Only a creaking board, a whisper as white as paper, a sheet of will skin your of make out last. jump at you \\\ 14 \\\ | MEMOIR In the mirror’s the In place there’s instead. aname to to keep oneself. There’sthing, no nothing, not hopelessly much so as fractured. cracked said, be There’s only can that mirror a & new. There’sso much to to keep oneself. backward both mirror, aglance the in in gathered that lies It the overthrows to is say,which disloyal when is best at it’sits truth untrue, The that’s body the whole it’s because shattered. that’s mind battered, the that’s bruised, heart the Everyone what’s due: wants their only You Me, screens, those through Everyone right sees not it mattered. that names, the all I changed . It’s acoup. . | /// 15 /// . ONLY REFLECT REFLECT ONLY , says a beveled soul. a beveled , says The The mirror speaks.silent. kept have Bettershould it own its kept counsel, own its Better have should it wisdom, the kind learning that from never only comes a single thing, infinity,to repeated a single thing, infinity. to repeated The The mirrorspeaks, on. move & havingdoesnot spoken, ridiculous are can only tell You it, You speaking you not all.so many at times it’s before style is his voice mind’s A man’s Everything the to are edges. slides you away Everything falls the were to surface. you away All light a whisper: of bends to Say nothing of this \\\ 16 \\\ | PROOF OF CONCEPT a leaf against the sky. the against a leaf what Green it is. screen, blue than screen,less nothing been has &unseen, to seen be desire the forewarned, & foreclosed possibilities the writing, the all dreaming, the me. Perhapsbehind all Iwonder what’smanifested. screen on the &what is I wonder what manifest, is not is urge acompulsion.why this . Iwonder manifest to phrase into the realization a to urge edit the Iresist feasibility. its to demonstrate idea or method of acertain a realization concept of proof that declares screen TheChroma key of Wikipedia yourself. seeing with uncomfortable theater, you the are in Maybe unless post-production. you. in Maybe behind (& it what is it is) that’s projected whatyou just it see is can’t ever really Here, now, world, the it’s in although fine, aproblem be only void. the in will which black, to wear try alwayswhy is I This of screen, you aChroma key disappear. color wrong front you the If in wear aproof more of concept. than nothing Future’s &the Past been of has the Past, the puncturing & inflating,the Future boredom by possibility,the punctuated the joy, suffering, the Perhaps all means | /// 17 /// NINE ROOMS The onlymystery The is is that there Mustard,in Colonel the mystery. no withConservatory, a Revolver; Miss Scarlet, in the Comments, witha Meme. What these all do do people Wonder, day? with an Kill. to Hour Wonder, Don’t or Reflect, within Moment, Sigh. a the is anA clue invitation the to is born empty. Every envelope void. Every experience is of an out Boddy experience. do What you do corpse no turnswhen When the unfolds up? day according appearances? to When you with take, eachknow, you breath whodunit? \\\ 18 \\\ | SEVEN IMPOSSIBLE THINGS BEFORE BREAKFAST BEFORE THINGS IMPOSSIBLE SEVEN slowly, of pancakes. your stack across short slowly, falls shadow& the turtle of the The Yardbirds’ “For Love” Your is playing, theabove voices, distance, the in Off itself. war you the drown until at Sea it neverbecause lasts). You Victory drink (alarming self of eclipse the alarming wordsthe above roar.there’s the Then the out make no one that is can whirlwind Now, problem avoice the out with of the blows untouchedthat wind. around, by the stay put. Paper electricity is can’t just A tornado that agrave is on its grave its back.” “A carries turtle | /// 19 /// WE’LL BE BACK IN JUST A MOMENT, BUT FAUST . . . INWE’LL A MOMENT, JUST BE BACK BUT FAUST What am with do to I supposed an scientistmad a hour, for asks the the can Prisoner & what of Lost Universe, I always Civilization this it’s At say? time day, of brainYour feeble too is I say, Atom. vs. The in accomplished the understandto realm I have what Doc, & money the says a dreamer, world, You’re Science. of mine mine, right by I whisper, dreamers. it’s is for bad But does. one & live. see No it may one No discovery. of doesn’t he but Frankenstein might meet the Monster, Space invite him in. Daughter, Jesse James might meet Frankenstein’s has who solved one Is only a coffee Mad? date. it’s but I tampered Well… mad? the life secret of be considered to God. has somebody play But in can’t to! domain, God’s & you That gets big laugh. a Maniacal, always you might say. darling,My I failed. I meddled in things alone. man leave must dareAlso call to in things me alone. You God leave must Die. Not Would the says Brain be so lucky, I should That mad? \\\ 20 \\\ | LAST CALL AUBADE a seething, & a closure. &aclosure. a seething, wreathing, as silent breathing, as Easy knowsThesong, composer.it no closer. ascent The nothing brings acrushing. asound, just is where bound that Iwas but now Ihave found about becoming, what Iwas something Iknew young, Iwas When lie. &the mocking, the stupid talking, as Easy as walking, mouth dry. summit, at the stares Dawn thesky.from down climbs evening The | /// 21 /// THE REVELATOR Everyone imaginesEveryone the Raptureas instantaneous, if what angels but a veryof different sense have time? Seeingthey it. as of stand how outside What if that sweet chariot is swinging & the rising the of tides, slow, but low not thedisappearance the of ice, is all aswe’ll the moment, know, to need know or coming forth carry to us the into unknown, ever we’ve beyond only home without back, expands like the universe itself billions into & billions of stars billions & billions over years, of with behind? left everyone saved, everyone \\\ 22 \\\ | SOMETHING TO FALL BACK SOMETHING ON Milky Way.Milky It’s agood thought, hole center at the of the supermassive black the is about thinks sun the nothing the although sun, the like about nothing, think wisely way up. the The shadowsall but fog. clouds, Nothing thinks way It’s down. the all clouds, It’s clouds, cloud. it Clouds, thinks. another atop cloud a but nothing seeing down, glances acloud you. Meanwhile, believe were you they wish it. You can’t say, only Shadows over.is You can’t mollify the when play lifts only that &nowhere, a curtain everywhere but it isn’t, it’s fog, just &your mom, &cities & dragons to castles be a cloud, would like itself to think would like somehow, fog because likely offense takes of always fog, which out loud, &never frontthis in of cloud, but one says rarely A cloud’s shadow atype is . It won’t | /// 23 /// thinks the sun, shining away. something fall to It’s back on, all thedown. way a shadow, \\\ 24 \\\ | INSIDE YOUR BRAIN? TWIN JUST YOUR HEADACHES ADEAD ARE there’s twitching, a lid, cells, the in eye an there wasn’t AtHair, least bone, teeth. absence. shape of an a question unasked, Wonder Twin of activate… form powers, always whispering, voice, little That womb. the in you those consumed forever,But friends nobody best is not even know we’reI just going to bebesties! Club? forsigning up Key Tera Toma! Are you school, Hi, I’m high Tera, in you knew agirl like teratoma, sounds which tiny found her,& they a hole your head, in needed when daycame youThe actually braces. chin, aweak Curls, Hair, bone, teeth. voice. little & sob of that throb to the listening room, adarkened in times those All shut your eyes, tight. behind wall into the drove anail something while accent, Austrian an in It’s saying not atumor times, those All , you somewhere shudder while deep &sigh, | /// 25 /// in endless sleep, helplessly dreaming in helplessly endless sleep, the like dream, out it sailor a tapping trapped ina submarine. bone, teeth. Hair, bone, teeth. bone, teeth. Hair, Hair, \\\ 26 \\\ | FUNERAL STRIPPERS FUNERAL STOP CAN’T HIRING FROM PEOPLE CHINA I’ll be able be to myself. my to keep hands I’ll Perhaps, dance. at longdo last, alittle &Percy. Mary on Perhaps my like grave, you’ll Perhaps have one you’ll sex abulls-eye. every arrow’s by, the passed targets the of all portraits by tombstoneswe surrounded are etched by lasers, to get bus, on the train we the from descend When to develop it’s because not aPolaroid. ahalf-hour for a & takes it Polaroid film, no longer are Films bow Clara. is & every quiver Time’s is the in arrow Every Arrow, water? that’swith fish of the obsessed tragedy the &it’s but dark, what about the true, even in back on shadow,your alwaysfall say They youcan | /// 27 /// Nothing can make the meet, ends nothing can make amends. the on Out street, nothing can. A singlecoffin down nailholds thelid theon satin-lined casketthe of culture. & cells lights up, Someone begin die. to one. makes that isn’t Someone a choice putsofficer his The neck your round arm hislike on first boy a smug who date knows exactlyShhh, a firstgo. should how date well, perhaps resist… struggle,please don’t don’t into better Please, look do. if you it’s not matter, doesn’t the camera--it Cameras ever. not everywhere,today, Nothing matter. & tears, doesn’t & it can this breathe Go ahead. air long. Try. for I CAN’T BREATHE, I CAN’T BREATHE, CAN’T I BREATHE \\\ 28 \\\ | LEARNING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN A NEW WAY ANEW IN TO DISAPPOINTED BE LEARNING Hey!calling, eyes! their Somebody close come you expect? did What bodies, you the You At ask last, wait. still you’rethat bored so You complain wagons &then circle the You of rivers &borders speak &guards. You privileges. of rights, do not speak discourse. to the about, your all &give you nothing know all you examine Next, toleration. &demand of bad faith, personas a Thenof yourself you speak of life. held throat to the a butter knife favor sincerity,in of adull your cynicism you upFirst, give all with this endless waiting. waiting. endless this with Then you turn Thenaway, turn you | /// 29 /// THE DELUSION GLASS The people who who think people The of they made glassare usually their focus on fragility rather than transparency, a sense of the by sand: I was preoccupied but thesense that been I had fused born. & not a liquid, but a solid nor Neither both. A window ina safety coffin, alive,dead perhaps alive dead. perhaps A feeling that I was very useful, very dispensable, both warm & cool the Human,to I guess. touch. There are those describewho this state as a delusion. in frame my I sit between warm rain. breath, I imagine the branch, tapping, the palms the eyes, againstpressed seeing, body, my unseeing, & think, A hairline fracture. provisional. the of web A spider’s A surface as & false smooth as Providence. light. the catching heldA shard gingerly, \\\ 30 \\\ | WE’LL BE THE DEATH ME OF THE BE WE’LL until later.until It’s later. It’s too late. you that didn’t it see Claim text. It’s okay. You ignore safely this can shut up about silence we obey. the not to say. never We anything will of never We think time. same will at the of other each never think No, we will itI read ared blank. page &Ipaint Today Thinking Wishful in entitled you. I’mloving bed abook in reading found be my me keeps might from body dead I’m of home thought how the only alone, you ex when never the from Often, had. dial drunk the poem Consider this . | /// 31 /// NOT SAFE FOR WORK FOR SAFE NOT Not safe for unemployment. Not safe for Not unemployment. safe for Not the untilsleeping safe dreams for Not noon. until sleep you when noon. remember you whether reallyDoes life your it matter, is ruined something by happen that didn’t something time, by safeor for Not that did? dimensions safe space, for not safe for not this,beyond parallel safe for not universes universesor that meet. might someday safe, safe. not StrangerNot danger is stranger, friend but danger is strangest yet. any enemies closer, my If I held they’d be behind They me. yet. might be, standing this. open there. Do not Someone’s \\\ 32 \\\ | CHARLESTON One second. One second. One second. second. One second. One second. One task. to the beak little its shiny &returns a bit of air song the from giveanyway. They it birdThe snatches &it can’t for him, ask it. behind stands history of horror whole The it. for he didn’t forthough ask it. He can’t ask they forgive. They expresstheir forgiveness, &still us, with always is Hell hell. in one gone, was was second that mountain the mountain’s time the &by the peak, against its beak rubbed bird that little that like slowly,leaves so body the glacially, &out of joint. The demon aligned are stars the where blood, all his across a cross From as only hopeless appeared rooms, night over, painted windows the shut. painted & days, summer perpetual windows, open the between bodies, between air of margin How the edge, the terrible didn’tI almost go through it. with so nice to me, was Everyone He said, | /// 33 /// NIGHT’S SHORE PLUTONIAN Who knew a heart had you so so big, cold. Who us knew anything— could forgive you distance—anything,demotion, except a paparazzo nine years trail. your on inOut the true so little dark, soul; there’s really worth not it’s all this effort all come & then this stealto way, To it. touching, really. It’s just keep going. mostly touching. but A little creepy, so so far close, all come come to for To a glimpse, like slips who a peeping tom from his & falls perch the into alley’s abyss. space.” your because “need you goodbye say To forward a backward look to glance. To invade the only privacy left. To having nevermore never say to . To New close-up images of Pluto from NASA’s New Horizons New spacecraft from close-upNew NASA’s images Pluto of reveal a bewildering variety surface of features… \\\ 34 \\\ | NETFLIX NETFLIX & a movie. Your& amovie. blue clutching mine. hand, seasons Six dies. wind up,rises, picks The &amovie. seasons Six whispers, Something dumped. Whole seasons, leavesleaves falling. budding, outside, except stirs upon couch. Nothing the watch But next? whose voice it? is stirs Nothing we shall What asks &trembling, voice, thrill-choked astrangled while binge-sweet &red-rimmed, eyes, glazed before swim to letters read? hard so Little credits the to fades black, screen are when the we in came where Ithink is this when he whispers, mean hero from? the does coming What light strange Where’s distance? the that What’s in sound that they? are hell the Where beyond puzzling: scene is finale’smystery a The final You coming. don’t twists of any the see end, no seem. one the what is in they gray. Turns industrial sprayed out with that, temples aged, everyone’s middle next, the young; One moment, &years. years Hugedie. time, jumps in YourSpoiler alert: favorite characters & CHILL CHILL , & then vanishes? Why, vanishes? , &then | /// 35 /// THE TIME PHANTOM HYPOTHESIS : to ice cream, to the toy store, to wherever to cream, ice : to store, the to toy I was own imaginary my telling friend, forever there, I be lest crushed sit to myself was not (I always in a little I spoke a creaturelycrushed). voice, monster in materials of found nature.stitched out not together the between as the I watched table, out warUnder broke from graven plastic,idols so all many voices, once. at I claimed I wasafraid the of dark so comics I could read soul darkmy lite. I was of nite something theby duck-shaped happening: kept yet a conspiracythat happened, never I becamecalled I grew that up. invisible friend, “child.” telling forever all one, into blended the voices asking forever troubles, if okay ismy I can it come with this is, this exist that neverland can’t & still does. \\\ 36 \\\ | JOURNAL OF THE PLAGUE YEAR THE OF JOURNAL where you recognize what home where you recognize Venn the pain: diagram the is threshold Welcome. Away. Go about a thing The front of on everblacks door. the a wreath Tree on the lights of Life, Xmas like strung it’s Tiny disasters I’m myself telling. to how me feel tell Don’t simply itself. is being punished It’sbeing of feeling vague That life. just A Ziploc big bag to enough crawl into. catapult R.E.M.’s but “Catapult” replacing self-fulfilling prophecy. Singing as air mattress an inflation of The in the refrain with laundromat with refrain the in ; Iknow, but sometimes overlaps. overlaps. . II

| /// 39 /// THE CONDOLENCES Sometimes speak we make to the bears dance; sometimes sing lullaby a we lull to them sleep, the sleep, longest theirinto long long, the allwinter are kept ones where loved your thoughclose, even can you only see them in dreams. your so so, very So sorry, sorry loss, your so sorry for hear to this, & thoughts, our prayers thoughts & prayers, hangso sorry, in very there, sorry, sad sorry & news,any need if you thing,one, so sorry, sorry ear, hear, to very sad & sorry see, to hear, to in our hearts, there, so keeping very you so very loss, your so sorry, sorry, sorry, so so so so so so sorry, shhh,sorry, now, sleep little bear, big bear. \\\ 40 \\\ | PHOENIX, 3JULY PHOENIX, alone with him, to “say him, goodbye.”alone with I wish my there after mother left me I said, you to Imeant tell what she him. had seen until not, could she not, could she not, could but mywere not, mother could she waiting, the flames been had done him-- to nothing because flecked red still beard, white His eyelids. dreamless of his The quality teeth. His parted. slightly lips, His nohe longer was himself. even when himself looked like brother still mercy,theThethatstrange relief, my away.far long ago. That’swhenam where seem I I Idid, like away circus, &join the you it’sto tell that not too late to run isn’t This what say. I to meant I meant “You him, tell were agood son. We love you.” her Iheard voice, brokenuntil but not, together myself & Ididn’t pull My mother didn’t down, but break Idid, you’ve your brother. dead aroom with in stood You know, haven’t you really until lived | /// 41 /// I could say, could tell you what I said, could what tell you I could say, but I said goodbye, could how tellyou grabbing a trapezeI’m bar in mid-air. jaws; head,my inside there, the lion’s That’s face, against pressed my window. the car’s clown my chokingmy tinsel, my sawdust, That’s throat, stingingmy flaming hoop, eyes. That’s my my lastly-through-a-hogshead-of-real-fire. I am, fallingHere falling, not jumping through it. \\\ 42 \\\ | WING, PRAYERWING, hear, surrounded by strangers, by tears. by tears. hear, by strangers, surrounded I all is me Thesing to myroar best. angels, landing; for prepare Attendants, drank. read my thriller, browsed Mall, having Sky monster Howthe from. Ito spend this, am You down. touching know, don’t made you, what they be all I’mto ground. Soon, down. we’ll coming I’m flight. how to in be going Icame remember to unable my descent, of it, hidden. I’m all the beginning clouds, Outside it’s the life. down, down through white; monsterfor joltthe to back brings the that down, wheels that’s waiting yes, right, & Ithought, “We’reThe said, pilot descent,” our beginning | /// 43 /// A SORT OFA SORT HOMECOMING A joke came out of a cloud of clove smoke: clove of a cloud came of A joke out always said We or LasHeaven Vegas? course, of althoughknew we Vegas, better. try need one no the to get to bar;Here, there was always anotherbar beyond thenext bank slots, always of another ninety-nine cent breakfast beyond the clocks. wasIt nineteen hundred & ninety-three, synthpop how free ponder to were & we require a synthesizer. didn’t was mind, a state of It a rocket set driftto & fire,fire & drift. “Otherworldly” think. mean might you not what might be the born leave. It to dream were you might be the born leave, It to dream were you awake. were you imply that didn’t but tin I see when a sheet of foil, Today, I think the of windows, & those slept who risingall the into graveyard shift. day, This juststill in:Lugosi’s Bela dead. I listened that to single cassette, on driving with a dead girl a party, to trulythough wasn’t yet. she dead, not I was wearing strangestmy costume yet: the prodigal. all spent I had summer darkin the poker-lit British Bulldog’s “Blood Gabriel’s with Peter of a pint I remembered everything. Eden.” of \\\ 44 \\\ | Appear, Iappear? should how me: &tell hopepast &fear, Ibid djinni, the From beyond sea land Beyond, the from the stop. home, Iwas home, full question mark. Iwas of light. &full wide iris the Time, there Still was & time, Therestill was soon doomed, implosion upon implosion. Dunes The not old, TheSands shifted, yet years Twenty-five undead. cleverly just or arcades?), reborn Iwas wondering if without city have this (how they built could absentone the shade &ten hundred in rest of of my the days, degrees Nth the Now, sun, front pitiless in of me, the now. sun. front In pitiless of me, the my (once name now short, long): me behind even my clothes, my books, my vinyl, All your love’s (or when all to tell vain in insane). It hard copies indeed is of failure. old year carbon good billion the all like desert, to back the gotten myself I’d was dust, to not Suffice say I golden; But that’s perhaps too melodramatic. Gethsemane. it was a garden, unless fact, not, in was this me that reminding embittered voice, &Lilith’s Lights, City cable car, of hills, the the rattle the everything: remembered I Eden, Of | /// 45 /// Appear! Tell me, yes, how should I appear, should yes, me, how Appear! Tell every where window is a mirror?here eyes instead into So I looked & saw be seen. to there was,what & wasn’t, be seen became suddenly allTo me. of I inserted myself the into scene, I made some The Scene. prefer, if you or, the poet, the the fop, fool, I played noise. received never had who the“professor” on going fifteen. a degree, twenty-five I caught a glimpseI chased “girls.” two or Al I tried the (as Inland three). Sailor (or knowing the not time,” advised) “redeem to that time cannot be redeemed, only spent. That time cannotonlyredeemed, be spent: bucks. hundred I lost three Vegas. well, that’s Vegas, a good time? have did you but Yeah, can time a good you the have where only place without actually yourself. enjoying is life a joke, If joke. favorite My least at it be a funny one? shouldn’t When I was young, I knew the answer this. to theI’ll I did then, way home come never againnever know so little so or it The but graveyardshift ends much. never does shift,neon necropolisto from & back again, lies everyone still, where waiting hear to a coin that drops. never \\\ 46 \\\ | don’t (a joke out of cloud of clove smoke). you but Your my friend... in dust, lies city or ends. A homecoming never begins somewhere. nineteen-ninety-three It’s always leaving to that’s thing The best place the can. next anything ever The happens where so place nothing goodbye. To not if yourself. forgive something, let you long they live die, to enough say the where,Home place changed. I whenis left. you saw, I Ileft, I mundane. the came, I Turn, CHANGE. &face marked redeemed cage at the slots print out the to be ascrip instead, never drops:Waiting that acoin to hear (Remember? No? That’s okay). | /// 47 /// . . I KEEP IT TOGETHER BY FALLING APART FALLING TOGETHER IT BY KEEP I I win, every time. Please, me a break give I keep it together by falling by together I keep it apart. streetsThe my sanatoriumrest, are failedthe my day to day stress test. All they breakdowns break my start; before down theheart attackwants the what heart hearts, yet. I am cannot not it, blessed but have with the curse the of waylaid wedding guest, listen to the to Art: Storyforced of mimesis, catharsis, & void. boredom I will arrive never the stop bride to from making final, her futile mistake. I amfortress her & I am destroyed, the little that squeaks, voice least At I tried \\\ 48 \\\ | & AHORSE HUGGING STUDENTS RIDING HER OF PH THE THEN EMAILED TO EMAILED ME, THEN us, unaware; how unaware; we released. us, are to, helplessly. Howresponds world the catches Idon’t kitsch? what one Is this is Kitsch care. rest. at & ready both breathes, just breathes, world of the &sigh snort it the from as away opens her never her hand eyes, falls prayer. me hopes in she never Something it &isn’t is because wordless, because prayergiven worth The worthless wordless, face. Her sereneoutside little frame. the horse’s the closed; &away, high eyes other. other, as of Eyes, life truly proof the hot evidence, the breath of the nuzzling defiance, in out, almost chin not in quite muzzle akiss, the against &her lips light, the in gleaming ring slope of steel the brown the &white, framing horse’s the pressed against blue face, halter alittle, back tipped helmet the helmet, by &comforted her huge white balked her her thumb, face bigger than nostril the of poison. nose, Her her on hand his closed, eyes the opposite with a broken filled ampoule air, into the me &escapes shatters in me. Something me. It ruins it wrecks OTO THAT MY GIRLFRIEND TOOK OF ONE ONE TOOK OF OTO THAT GIRLFRIEND MY | /// 49 /// HOME OF CUP THE BOTTOMLESS No one commits a murder before their before commits a murder one No Very sweet,light & firstof coffee. cup stirredits afterdarkness,you’ve thebody, waiting so don’t cool that to it you for the on burn first thesip. heaven vault of close. comes never even cup second The Black as hell, as strong death, sweet as love. asBlack time, as strong time, sweet as time, the potential pure abyss of morning’s & dread. warms It hands your while freeze you permanent moment. theinto present’s the dream drink you It’s until turns it cold, because reach you’re the can’t horizon you already there, the kill, corpse you & revive. \\\ 50 \\\ | FOUND POEM LOST POEM FOUND Sweet corruption, give me Bikini Body before Body Idie. Sweet me give Bikini corruption, goes naked. nothing costume, aswimming everything’s If nowhere is God then well. as everywhere, is God if course, Of implausibleOr, &entirely persuasive. alas, unpersuasive. implausible, or persuasive, & plausible are that thoseinterpretations: areThere correct no only Sin.” “Original humanity’s You as this describe might is. it’s it &much much really both worse better than thinks always that animal an is being A human is. truly what predestination discovered for himself &then light, toward &fell the when he died, theexpression of Calvin’son face John think I often by Bravo ahydrogen (applause). Castle bomb named first corrupted was but Bikini Internet, the the sayeth the bikini by All women corrupted have been , | /// 51 /// PORTRAIT OF JENNYPORTRAIT 8. Of course, the first thing she wasdid her change years in fact. longer, The tunetook number. drummedShe’d it had the by moon, her into allby the wayward jazz, of lessons tap. stillpicture her a of in There’s hallthe the of Dance. School in costume Madame’s for Stars, pink glitter, spandex, a cigarette beaming in left hidden her glove, withlove for no one, nothing in particular, the shiny for except surfaces of self. When winter came in skates. slept her she imaginedShe watching a nation her skirt as flared it & spun,nation & a stare,did, dry. violent a silent, mouth its 6. violetA silent, stare, so dry mouth her after an of evening drinking, faceher purple in the blacklight, crescent neon chin her of in the velvety darkness & soft coercion, sweat that smoke, smelled of the pleading a cop’s that resembled crocodile smile as Please says he step out only The thing car. the of keeps that everything from spinning are his hands, wants she suddenly spin away, to but happening, what’s of the of orbit out that becomes forming mouth a word her & the light hole, a black cannot escape, & the earth that will swallow not up— her \\\ 52 \\\ | & exhaustion of walking through their gaze. their through of walking & exhaustion terror mundane the others, from she knew feeling she were the from if As immune she told mirror, asmirk. the but it with said it worse. It’s by making better acurse, where boys were, ones the who the made it all lowest the hours in knowing & always forimplosion granted, taken of dreams slow the unraveling, threads the all see still She can empire of bottles. empty Before her mother’s cancer, her father’s of days batons, the SATs. in back Not mind, had in keys. what she’d punching robotic, arm Her Paper plastic? or 5. rage. paper, robotic with her arm plastic, into she stuffs that visions with welling he suffer, could that should suffer, her eyes the tortures all spentA whole sifting shift goes away. nothing changes, everything her to tell of clocks a conspiracy everywhere & thestreet, train, the Coffee, to she go has & then to work, does. so her, &binds blinds that too surface bright the howinside, her to she claim insides wants how but darkness her nothing is body another, good as is how one darkness Under shower, the she considers drowning, her up. swallow to refuses earth The 7. | /// 53 /// . , I need make to ; you that wall, , she would tell would , she the girl ? When the first call came, , she felt her body turning her felt , she away, are on your own. your on are the By third call, knew she there wasthat a wall, somewhere body her written body was her it, on many times matter how no that number, changed after night,she Late it. at long all the calls dialed ended, she had it, body answered, up. her hung & when she on Thisthroughwent boyfriends,husband. a Do what? What? doDo not this yourself. to 0. do Do this not yourself. to was,She wasn’t. was what thisBut with sick the voice something you mine know you I don’t as if say, to Do not do Do this not yourself to was,she wasn’t. 3. strangeThe exhilarationof gaze:their theremembering that way firsthead turned, his shag cut shiftedhow he as tilted lips half-curled,his chin acknowledge her, to nextout, he The her asked day leer. a shy just thirteen went, & she his to eighteen— thethrill happen almost what didn’t of but wasn’t she out found he when sixteen, later on good made the she promise Why not? with not? else, & why someone Remembering, the rage curdling now into from everyblame that out spoke surface, No every reflection. \\\ 54 \\\ | She knew their walls. She had their numbers. numbers. She had their walls. their She knew who,& just responsible. had been what, had been, years, where body, these the all to to move, witness began to bear that her head atongue in out, wide, eyes stretching her body, limbs hers again, was which but &no, not not yet cracked, “something,” but now, thin, over thin, carefully ice grown of inside her figure-eights, did Something no, no, itOh, wasn’t no. you at all, It wasn’t it? was &she me, replied, swept up,then forgotten. Her asked body one day, dropped, glass suddenly, awine like to yourself. notthis sheDo do So stopped 9. | /// 55 /// WHITENESS Nothing could be easier: the privilege silence, theof fantasy a world of wrappedin in winter, blankets blankness, of thatpaper dissolves between fingers, your leaving them with wet of the opposite a mindtears. White-Out, of have must One time. long long, long, been wrong for & have cold. Let too others build a snowman; it’s Every time I speak I can breath, see my like up, intent a house & so I shut hearth. its upon spring, on I concentrate which is always only arriving, never yet. I bring firewood. in here quite more shiveringI sit, still, the by window. \\\ 56 \\\ | ENLIGHTENMENT ARE WEAK BITCHES ARE ENLIGHTENMENT DARK BOSS THE OF MONSTERS THE EVEN it’s perfect; it’s still the word you will never wordsay. the it’s it’s you will perfect; still It’s waits. sweetness rotten; the dark, the In else. ¬hing name drone his ahive whereis knows every ofyou’ve freedom? name the Freedom in committed crimes it, these you worth it was ever if know How will How have fish net?dark blind in many your youcaught room aboveof empty of your palate the your voice? roof to the your mouth, sticking in sweetness that to put die &cannot die How &will died many you pain. attention ever the paid to was All wish flushedaway.another Gem, Infinity an was apiece True of stonewas the Cross; passed every sliverEvery you ever dug out of afinger counted is &forgotten. of sand grain where every The called Worlda shell beach a it drags across & into crawls wayon crab ahermit the your back, moment.of You this it. You it carry carry you’d cutout anticipation tonguein your own five-foldthough each & youeven taste could sweetness, your across path, fell they as light last the caught which she into broke pieces& then of honeycomb, apart is Truth this told, be she said, my first myrodeo, first | /// 57 /// ALL THE PIERCED TONGUES IN PORN The kind of success that isn’t failureThe successof kind isn’t that really success. isn’t sort The of but hovering pleasure that is only money, like the frame. a tiny outside drone mannerThe of speaking on a ends that all when question the of answers are plain. really is room a together way The brought the pain.by memory of look in The theeyes, & the eyes unseen, that marks an absent, present. absence a presence on a of pressure soft The the thought a bland, of recurringunderside dream. The category mistake is language,that release. The hole the of tiny taxonomy that is filled polishedwith a pebble speech. of torrent silver a silent, by \\\ 58 \\\ | A CALL TO SOMETHING A CALL TO SOMETHING in your light. You your light. in have no choice. You have no choice. seen be standing by will they believe They they have though no names. are not They nameless, death? How of them? dark do you the in live you becoming without who hopethose to kill leave How life? whereso this does do you kill or end, no beginning has It death seems absence of the soul. or with souls, with & brimming filling full, is except death theof death, emptiness is space safest The dead. invisible cities, visible &Baghdad, Damascus, Raqqa, is so Beirut, butis so Mass, infinite an worth Tomorrow is Paris past. the all | /// 59 /// . THE END OF DECEMBERS . Autumn accelerates. It is what it isAutumn what accelerates. It is it shouldn’t, it is what it isn’t, cannot, it what A light not. inside must the unquiet, the disquiet, the not quite The Third World War;Fourth the World Estate;the The Third fifth, sleep. a body for desperate into emptied I sit, & here trouble of a world It’s making movies: dreaming in colors while winter gray eyes. seeps from my Demagogues warm their hands the at fires. Our awaits in asteroid the distance, in the dark. if do you What you would The same live? only X to had as if As if why I had I only Y. had \\\ 60 \\\ | OWITH! OWITH! O, without— Owith! Owith! Owith! forced apart: forced together, my crushed, apostrophe voice, caught, an velvet; the against There’sOrion. rising Venus, There’s Look! exclaiming, therailing, where at flashed eyes once your dark To fog the address it slowly of open? close instead To say O! vocative? merely into dwindle can provocative the How recognition—how the would we bear wave &fog.reveal over avoid of wave would &fog that I would have to shout to say but cannot. like I’d things the throat: Here’s the in catch the We’re whereus once adeck. was there drifting. between water open We other, each level are with but there’s way. it that seems though Here’s boat, same the we catch: aren’t in the all & watch & . Your hand | /// 61 /// ECH O SAYS “Someone stands“Someone the on beach in Santa Monica. dips anShe empty glass vial the into sea. carriesShe a waiting to away car; it then drives life, your she across the & that’s country, everything are, the you in water that vial, arrives she & when in Island, Coney walks she theto the edge of surf, the opens & she vial, the into Atlantic, out & pours you & that’s water, death, are, into water & there you salt salt, into ocean ocean, to could & who again findyou You ever think in all waves? those still in allthere’s a someone could that who water say, never seen I’ve ocean?” the Just then, “Ocean” came Shuffle. on up Underground theby Velvet our laughter pause before was a There tremendous distortion, thepit’s fire over her, rolled over thedown sand the & into dark the sound of sea, hear see. & never not could never we voice whose \\\ 62 \\\ | VOYEUR VOYEUR This is notconfession; a This confess. I loneliness! excuse, aperfect What My dismiss. you love death cannot the is fluoresce. my heart make youthat alone will confess: when what Iconfess Icannot apt. It’s so terrible, miss So what I’ll caress. risible, invisible that loneliness, is excuse aperfect What kiss. alingering my with eyes It seals It’s of my cause never distress. the not confess. a confession Iwill that bliss, It’s aspoiled rapture, acurdled Ipossess. that most thing cherished the loneliness, this excuse, aperfect What miss. cannot I something is mirror The on before lights Iundress. the I turn confession Ido notthe that confess. of essence this, &violence, the Sex loneliness. excuse, aperfect What | /// 63 /// IN WITH YOU CAMERA, I WALK , but she didn’t she , but V. once said, once in a dream, V. captures Thatonly camera her of sound the black silk stockings dreams, my of in it one say & I’m, hers, of in one but sure if saidnot she it, ifof I said someone or it, persona, or person else, some the known unknowns of bottomless dream, I now said but it; am holding that photograph between finger & my thumb, like the material, the seam, somethingof I cannot touch, cannot see, cannot descend from thigh knee, to from was be,to from nothing is. to no record, archive, no is There that cannot be faked—no evidence, one & no needs be convinced,who to take to have my & yet, you to have this. on word You take word. my at me \\\ 64 \\\ | LATE SHOW AT THE ORPHEUM LATE SHOW AT ORPHEUM THE vanished. that lyre It the was fire. was Everything Oh… light. oh. What a corona, afire. Night. Her hair, & into Day for shadow last the outstepped of they as sun on the took it. Her hair &she took hand, He held out his anywhere. I’m not going them Fuck disappear. not did She met. just they’d slyly, if as shyly, smiling there, was she He looked & back, , she said. | /// 65 /// David Bowie (1947-2016) BLUE, BLUE, ELECTRIC BLUE To be an alien curse; is a common one, become To to a singular gift. crashingAlways in samethe car, always surviving that chrysalis, chrome the starlight eye,leftyour way in one anotheryourreflected in right. something made & then you yourself, as of they say, You somethingmade else, performed own your sea-changes, becoming human again,rich & strange in & sometimes the (always) way only humans can. true A can fall aristocrat too, says, You, Earth.to is listen do All to the to falling dust have you from the stars—ashes ashes, to lashes lashes, to surrounded starryby glittering, shadows, still. be outside, I should listening forever, on goes it is, the where music where theto skies, trying a glimpse for possibilities… your of in. I want stay to out. Get want go to things done. I don’t But \\\ 66 \\\ | THE MARQUIS OF SAD OF MARQUIS THE of damsels, princesses, sacrifices. sacrifices. princesses, of damsels, boot heel &he’shis to have ever heard sorry dragon’s feels the He already neck beneath eyes. at his Look helm. his beneath face to his to her pensive, but passive hours, look again &resolve action opposed his to Melancolia: contrast stark in alwaysstands Knight The II. When? Now? Arewhen? Then itwe there yet? asks. Now? impatient child. an at ittugs like hidden dowses spring water; the my heart heavy, is Isay it’s myIf heart because line. last very place the you in look, always of Auber. tarn the It’s first the in always for of searching foam my mind teeming the therapids, suffering rocks the hear I can it. hear But crossing. any from Ican miles how to there, be not Icame knowing the opposite on myself bank, of finding I never river go for down to the fear of words lies. the yoked to chains great all even wordOnce spoken, every true, is that’sAt weird least, what sisters the told me. melancholy, melancholy; is Freedom freedom. I. | /// 67 /// as a pejorative is most likely is as most a pejorative a jailer. A cow caught running A cow a jailer. in the street ahead was date slaughter its returned of declined who kill the to to butcher it, turning a sanctuary to over it anything by is eaten one no where but time. in Once a while, the universe is so magnanimous that breaks it heart your in two. this whenever you, back to comes story, It up fire you the grillyourto of sound the theempty coals stomach, aching with red. IV. in theHere Bastille morning, Monday of morningSunday with down comes a fever, kindness. of a word dying water, lack of for rejoice. I office, the cellFrom the of warden’s When the tear rabble this brick, by brick down, week this I will is what miss the most: the quiet Lookwho again one face: the of her at look war to goes knowing victory, there is no only survival.to fight Those who live another know day the days are endless... armed the days, to forever days teeth. upon III. I know that the uses who person the word escapist \\\ 68 \\\ | Now, here’s let me please, eat my cake; for aslice you oblige Noblesse never felt. yourself. them Unless you make seen, be only can that areTheresome gestures when you funny it sounds course, Of beautiful. &that is alone Everybody dies V. accept. no of oneletter resignation that will another aflourish, hour where with Isign, requires me to tell you me to tell this. requires sing it. sing . | /// 69 /// (After Celan) DEATHSHUFFLE Black lives, matter, dark high matter lives,Black at matter, noon, thegunbarrel swallowed each morning, dusk, at Sterling,Alton the discs shattered flashing, Philando Castile, reaching for nothing, the frightened,& the frightening law, law, their license canceling all you, us of canceled killing their by license fear, to & killed, Sterling, Alton still & down dying, Philando Castile, girlfriend’s your crying, & the cameras cancel themselves, pictures worth a thousand riots & still sit we inside the gunbarrel the & in blood riots,our eyes & no Sterling, Alton heartyour Philando emptied, a sky, Castile, your girlfriend screaming, no good-byes, time,no time is swallowed, this dark matter, lives,black lives, black lives, black is the what matter, is thewhat matter, with our life with our times with our eyes, Sterling,Alton Philando Castile, Sterling,Alton Philando Castile. \\\ 70 \\\ | QUE SAIS-JE QUE I abstain, I abstain, I abstain. Iabstain. Iabstain, I abstain, ballot; secret one vote, this this only Ihave the& leaden.stairs. Ican’t find light-headed &thick, thin both is air the more is but Up electable. pain here, reality, only the be Love might on. carrying without caring, without to How despair. in to care give giving How without to voice give to despair How something. to see to say something key. of aturned bliss jagged the like out which wordto figure leaves my mouth which; is out which to figure trying I’mof falling, mist. forever standing, Up here my tower, in flooris made the | /// 71 /// SUPER TUESDAY The voice, not ournot in ears,voice, Can hear The you me now? nearer than near, can we but imagine. ask assess to questions the damage.We avoid glutenWe but gorge upon fear. This is feast the that increases famine. ournot in ears,voice, Can hear The you me now? in our throats,but our ravening careers ascending,forever crashing. forever ask assess to questions the damage;We surveywe the scene, eyes dimming with tears. happen. could it How cry. could we it, How ournot in earsvoice, Can hear The you me now? across screens, scrawled, supine, across yearsbut surmise, serene compassion. of counterfeit ask assess to questions the damage;We the at nod answers,we so calm & austere. see them coming, teethWe like blades, flashing. ourvoice in Can ear, hear The you me now? polling answers, for electing the damage. \\\ 72 \\\ | THE BARRICADES THE When the words appear they are erasures. erasures. are words they the appear When revolution the When comes, it leaves, too. through. right everyone simplythat walks avenues, barricades mouths of these the the across Ihave sky-high, that piled is all order acomb.in to possess Help me: bodies with streets the we strew but still bald, grown an idea is Belief said, that on who No it agree was one can myth. be well as strong it &so might fragile so is Justice testimonies. future not prevent will testimony the All not again. it keep happening from will world the in to come witnesses the All | /// 73 /// INTENSE SEQUENCES OF PERIL They’re everywhere,They’re causes seeking effects, effects bewilderedby chains causes,long with missing links can in, dots you color connect because the can’t of patternyou the spatter:of blood Forward, Impact, Void. dance we withHow History: light-footed, our own toes, on stepping yet waiting for cut in to without anyone, someone, withcutting watch horror. us. into We talks never Horror during the movie. the waitslights up; for Horror come to a drink wants for go it to & discuss. Perilous times, yes. Plots, thickening. History can always breathing, hear you sharpone intake after breath of another. \\\ 74 \\\ | FLASHLIGHT this click this switch, this of starlight, stab tiny this to describe brilliant even if darkness, a brilliant &we another: one thing, as forever ends &begins forbiddenour Light selves. enslavement by its reading &out it in of being, clicking mastery,celebrate temporary our how, we blankets, beneath how we its absence; revel in & its heaviness, never suspects Light faces. down our new paths cutting diamonds text, midnight terrible to that aCaravaggio in candle the from tells, what light We’redarkness. ones who the suffer a way wrong to describe the is void over void, the the even if eventoo to itself, quick know isn’t suffers light What much; it’s is the wrong way wrong the is

| /// 75 /// CHALLENGERS I’ve just returnedI’ve from delivery a seen & will never I’ve a woman when see againnever the at door, me stops glasses, her behind bug-eyed & wild-eyed up!” just “TheShuttleblew Space say to what, if anything, remember I can’t I makeI said. a delivery Later, & there are the cooks, Andre’s, to smoking watching the smoke the door, by open separate, death instant blooming white on a portable & whiteset. black on replay, thirtyI’m what? for years but late, too I still face, the knowledge father’s see her that something unthinkable has been thought spreading across his gaze the at speed of sight. This is allof I the canday recall. touches face God the of & one livesNo tellto the does. tale… everyone or thirty I’m what? for years but late, too “We’re living on borrowed time!” —The ChallengersUnknown,the of borrowed on living —The time!” “We’re Showcase #6, 1957 \\\ 76 \\\ | THE HARDEST WORKING LAZY APARTMENT HARDEST WORKING THE POEM this island. Well, you spend all this time here, time Well, this island. you spend all this to leave wanted we really if as planes, for seen be a bundle to by passing abonfire words, these Somewhere, gathered twigs, the untwisted. twist the hand, in hand two-fisted, of White-Out, bottles our with Let’s for blackout wait the damned. of the for deluge, patience the dark the the in drily waiting clothes, linen, Blankets, blanket. a human it over her head, pulling &cries, skin empty an But what’s atoy it? without hugs Achild stuffing. stuff, this All everything. I’m out asilence broken stretched in by only wake. endless at an endlessly served a hot dish bereft, is property John Locke: Blame we need. austerity the all is eternity But no, &drift. response to speed maximum that becomeI could aminimalist, over &over, of times, thousands never out. sphere for, paid been has this in else Everything Birdsong cheap, is escape. cheap, haha. upon fire egg the another nest, Soon, another light. of fingernails out pull The blinds space. museum, never leaves self of the this you it. Or,we in live just it’s my It’s universes. your of parallel room, room, to preclude seems every theory this the From HumanHumans. bed, this. beings did the think, &sometimes I look at my library of dust. shallows their in standing out worlds, &yetbook, never of inert, these run never trap. Imight buy to the another trip along be but it will drain, the circling are I’m It can’t surrounded. helped. The be wagons just live in it. The traveling exhibition exhibition traveling it. The in live just world, Frank, world, world, Frank, world, | /// 77 /// why wouldn’t you write it out; no one is coming one write no out; you it wouldn’t why tired these of pictures, I’m writeto out. you their frames. get to swap them Time to Time out. the pillow will In a moment, up. translucent, bloom, the soft valleyproof. of \\\ 78 \\\ | AMOR VINCIT INSOMNIA VINCIT AMOR VINCIT INSOMNIA VINCIT AMOR In bed, the heavy eyelids of your alms. of eyelids your alms. heavy the bed, In you’reThe phrase forbegging. goes searching again. &back &so to so so what, mind’sThe So bed, not-rightto rightness. Thebody’s & compliance. defiance sweet of silence. full glass The empty acrime. twice Once amistake, onethe time. dreamt only dream let’s A recurring flight. Let’s fight, out light. not the ready to turn The thecomforter, burden of & love It’s Above, asucker under, bet. sheets. yet. language in of being language the To or fell. Asleep, to is speak fall wake howl Every to awholetell. world, tails beast. adumb as Noat such least. thing last, at no—solitude loneliness, Not remain. remind, Toss walls the or turn, touched,& be away. someone game the gives didn’t much. so cost Someone to touch paid is loneliness youWhen were dreaming, only flight. Sleep fight is or light. last & by the window by the leaves quiet, framed the in Adrink It’s you &then think. later than To you’re The phrase bed. foris dead. searching | /// 79 /// ; , bloomed in mind, my ink, bloomed of a jet The headline The read, The DiseaseRobs That Intact Mind Language of Keeps But Your You I thought, be the would what disease that robs language leaves mind your of but untouched? you languageleaves That on a throne, all alone, calling servants for in an empty palace? the phrase, imperialism the Yesterday self the of from a squid, propelling itself away, thedeeper into down than dark. did ever, hasnothing The Emperor but his clothes. deposed.been looks hisHe best afterhe’s sharp, mind your look when to even got You’ve is dull with rain, a wondrous reign, rain, reign, rain. YOU CAN’T WALK OUT ON THE SHAKESPEARE CAN’T WALK SQUAD YOU \\\ 80 \\\ | FALLOW, HARROW, HOLLOW, HALLOW He cut his own throat & out came goldenrod. & out throat came own He cuthis grave. his past no onea tune would whistle at song, a homeguns sang & He his left moon rose the he wouldWhen look up, &nod. one only as condemned to happiness can. laughed He I’m sheets!’ in ‘Sorry, between said, &incomplete. ghost Anaked dainty ayoung skeletonAlways arm, on his for well-enough He one danced feet. without life). never (he toldhis lies in alie for capacity his gospel truth, the was that Everyone he lie; could knew of bricks. full asmile out of it, with aface He pulled to resemble aheart. up &sewn stitched burlap of bag tricks, His level; rivers quiveredhis touch. at his finddid he flood the down in Only drowned. Took town to town, &watched the as guns his No thanks took &said, one eyes his look in devil the at crossroads At midnight, the voice his from dead onHe born down. was . | /// 81 /// NINE MASKS NINE MASK OF A SUPERNATURAL BEING OF AMASK SUPERNATURAL be, not should I reasonno why is There I am me. proximate precludes reason but I amwithout being near. forever unclear in perfect my clarity. I am great & terrible & worthless. canAnyone anywhere. wear out, me I dream than more dreams. haunts your your I haunt I am the false face real made the by seam. I tell when believe me you do So why the tall tale the of heart’s desire? I tell when believe me Why you do the beginning the of beginning of the beginning, Why you do without end? eyes your withcover eyes as empty as mine? MASK OF BORN-TO-BE-HEAD-OF-THE-WORLD OF MASK pullWhen you the light the aside, darkness shines a river through, & smoky, sable midnight.at in A baby bulrushes cry makes “just but a sound not doesn’t like” is rushing but rushing water, water: a sweet gurgle time, of a waterfall History eternity. of is the barrel are all & we in except it are watching from the shore, child.you, You staring the into down mist adore, you see anything, can’t you where place the one face, your free forget to you’re place the one imperious & blank. the on Out banks, the stare Pharaoh daughters of space. into \\\ 82 \\\ |

by lit is it. moonbecause the sun to the turning it’s not but amask, my face, Yes, but don’t you see-- MASK AHERMAPHRODITE OF it. in drown as to swim like as eye, his side other on eye; of the that wall the it. Give me Icalls calm, Dead life? this in it’s not, but point what of would the be calm I need never reach ashore. sailing Smooth one ahorizon, what Iwanted: where I shouldn’ta fishwife? I complain. got storm.” Okay,Sorry, like fine. sound do I me cometo Thenandthe he texts up “see night. permanent of blissful, full fathoms, 5,000 tight, intoI slip something some Iwant quiet, When he does. alas, he we had hidden Ithought depths; met, When work. never relationships long-distance but Luna, He would have married rather He never shuts up, he never sits still. MASK THE OF WIFE THE OF SPIRIT THE OF SEA youIf me, leave are me. me, be youIf me. me, taunt want me, want youIf me, taunt me, want taunt me. me. me, kiss me, kiss youIf miss me. me, miss me, miss youIf kiss ECHO MASK WITH FIVE MOUTHS | /// 83 /// . MASK DEPICTING AN OCTOPUS AN DEPICTING MASK intelligent how on let Never reallyyou are. a suckerworn There’s every minute, a grasp that does not reach. its exceed An inkjet, printing out Esc. Esc. Esc is There patience the camouflage,of the camouflageof as Even patience. squeeze theyou whole Being of into a crack wider than no yourself, the words has tank the been not built canthat hold me light brain. your up They think are that you are happy, you “working trap.” your They think couldn’t you know which possibly \\\ 84 \\\ | empty little eyes. eyes. little empty Your breath comes through mouth. your over It fits only THEOF HOUSE MYTHS OF SINGER THE REPRESENTING MASK express.can nothing that thought a of embrace the embody & go, let hold, grab bloom, fade, retract, extend, to own: not their to held be amind in what it is know never can They it. from removed once been they’ve is ocean the where knows one no think They ocean. to the hole drains | /// 85 /// TRANSFORMATION MASK MASK TRANSFORMATION I am thisIs Saying bored with how it? everything (we you but this Is Looking it? twenty back at do). we yet so, say not must years as twenty years stare back. this Is Fearing that it? & hoping willit be always the never same. this Is wasted The chronicle it? anof ever-shifting looking (the game you as glassmoves that this Is A tightrope walker it? play). don’t if that you moves play, MASK REPRESENTING A COMBINATION COMBINATION A REPRESENTING MASK FACE & OWL’S OF A HUMAN the came of garage out & heardthem We hooting high in the silhouettes trees, of their of them from the landingwatched sway force branches strippedon winter white by moonlight, beautiful & far us. & stupid above them watched as if could see we their eyes.We Submitted for your appraisal: behold, wise, isan not who owl watching an unwise knows who nothing owl, except turn to how his without head moving, can he hear pretend to the heartbeathow something somethingof tiny, trying not who. who, be heard.to who, An who, owl in theEven daytime. in dreams. Even Like they smoke, come: the faces you will wear, never nor ever forget. Everyone stares lips, blue your at they when even are not moving. \\\ 86 \\\ | shadow only you can cast or see. or see. shadow cast you only can blurred the through lamplight, the window, dark through the you’re now, out of wearing not, into not, out staring of not, into now. That you’re now. wearing That you’re now.wearing That it? The Is this luck. one you’ve before… worn that you’re wearing of impure bliss sad resignation, the it? Kindness, Is this that. it?My brother’s Not Is this not even aface, smile. even vanished it? it? My place. Is wrong this father’s the Is this face. in blank eyehole an abrokenit? string, becoming, Amost unbecoming it? A Is this eyelid. it? upon Agold Is this one acold above ground. star inch the memento mori memento made in a sweatshop. made in Is this | /// 87 /// WASTELAND UNITED WASTELAND Sing out, sing it all singSing it out, until out, heart your drainedis dry as as mind. your humor, your Begin the chant meet as the defenders thatthe willwave wipe pain them So much out. a solitudejoy: of a form becomes it share withyou the millions, the billionaires povertyof & light. & dust Nothing from nothing;comes nil it, of boils it out nil.endurance The is terrified all. I’m in the I wear ordinary most way. team my of in eyes,the in my colors my times. chorus The risesfield, over the & wiseblack drifting as an crow old down remains: & peck what at dreams, pick to strange,such dreams. impossible, not \\\ 88 \\\ | SOLSTICE GODDAMN SOLSTICE GODDAMN your shadow amidst the shadows flood. the ofyour shadow the amidst The day,longest longing out to meet stretching in your blood. it. Thebee buzzing Imagine height. unimaginable an from threatening clouds of blue, thunderous dark now in sky in too. There’s clothe to a suit rising youof heat Arcadia, to in be light last would their give unseen you. under Thestars to crushed be is dying grass to The play the flute. & learn climbI’mtree, a off gonnamy take shoes, any objections. sheThe neverbreeze, makes open sieve. the ravenousthe instant, to relive No time connecting. without we have overcorrected. Connections momentEvery correction; acourse is note: Live! sticky another death this All give. to no fucks with more Thefull, moon, sheis doesn’tSummer about elections. care , III

| /// 91 /// — DIAL H FOR name? The temptation is irresistible. the picks up handset,He gingerly, theof a feels century heft when things from a heaviness: made were the steel, iron, industry slaves. of lifts slowly to it He his joke a lips, bemused hison tongue, a smile ready, fake what rant, goofy itself—for what at face can this to live up possibly artifact, flakingred, a swastika Führer’s inscribed Der alongside it on placesit against buyer The his cheek, & the dieshis joke behind ear, his eyes. listens somethingHe to else hears, one no thethen on the cradle drops receiver like burying someone a stillborn babe. seethesroom The withquiet. The air is stale. time waiting it, a long beside sits He ring. to it for A telephone has belonging Hitler Adolf to been a at sold $243,000 for auction.U.S. who bid over North The identityAmericanthe of buyer, phone,the has been not revealed. \\\ 92 \\\ | EMPITAPH because these mirrors have told mirrors you these that’sbecause so. Theresomeone goes who’s no longeralive, not anyone you know, could love. or might I: Therelies Not goes graceless butthe for | /// 93 /// THE GREEN LIGHT GOES OUT paths beat dead we ends,So, to blaze trails to nowhere. others often too as into looked if were they We glass. spaces,of co-working silence In the fluorescent virtual classrooms. less convincingbecomes CGI The with every passingsummer’s strange, with every every wave wave; heat heat highergrows breeze a cool wait for in the mind’s sweltering eye. We deserve don’t we arrives. it the down it moment & shout \\\ 94 \\\ | THE ELECTORSTHE We cough & cast our last hope,We supposing. last our &cast cough of there’sAs yet, for no sold. cure being product air theThey’ve made closing. is throat our &fear cough us makes polls the around air the in dark Something out of one, is many even fractured. Avoice throat. our in of sticks asong that rendition new a ballad, as ballot tradition, this punch &pull youthat can upon waters. ourselves Rejoice, the & cast one. We human the achoice remain make will There’s how longno conditiontelling our There butcure, is no we’rein remission. doctor’s our inside We voice. sit still very , manufactured. , manufactured. | /// 95 /// . THIS IN WEEK HATE The editor’s ultimate fantasy: editor’s The strike-outto every vulgarity, every venality, every bigotry, every ignorance An & hate. empty A studiowith one no tower. behindor the of in camera. front blankleft field A comment a screen in likeon a room a cave... them of is dreamingOne exactly this as me I typeabout this. edit to it. is not the read world To understand to is not it. the read world To justify to is not the read world it. To escape to it. is not the read world To it, love is to the read world To the read to world.) not (Also, it. hate to it. read to is not edit the world To edit the heart it. read to is not To the read heart— To reading there is no but the heart. If there could be, this exist. not would week from wishing gone them dieI’ve to slowly drop silently, havingto them simply, & furtherdead... still the to desire an invisiblefor key marked, Delete bruised finger my it;pressing from they one wink by one of by out one existence, the oh, clarity that, of like Device theStar Trek Tantalus on theor gun in The DanielDeath-Ray Clowes’ \\\ 96 \\\ | For James Baldwin PETITION THE if not (not not when if to ignore yourself you are willing What The nation’stipthedagger. of a throat; tatters?in to ends seem flutterwhen the necessary any is means What ofA drop aworld blood in at war. here; is it name Every doesn’t matter. Help the heart stay free for stay free what it mustHelp do. heart the squalor. hoveringa ghost above this ideas To in the mind two forever hold color. high their of cheeks inflamed the drains but dread never is futile Resistance flatter? not conscience only If you the can --help me, Jimmy, Ifeel dead, , but now ) the killing floor? killing ) the for | /// 97 /// THE WITNESS MAY STEP DOWN STEP THE MAY WITNESS . Time will. Time erase the names , but will, but Or will it? it willTime tell keep itself itself, to obliterate this until that or world mystery, cannot exist? mystery, even is the mind God, world of that) If this (not make to what this of cruel ignorance, the deported,the turnedperson away, are all We undocumented;thelost? time incinerates the files, timeshreds thewatermarks, the stamps, the faces trapped inside squarestrapped of light. will Time tell nothing: time it’s those the do of even who turning; they step behindmarch one those they erase. Marching step behind one those they erase, they still insist telling on Power until Truth to truth cannot resist. heard the the news: you good is news fake.Have we a fictionagree a lie, but Not is a truth—except disagree, we are news, bad the worst, We vehemently. because remain we true. want; Believe you what far get. believe. See you you want how what while out gotten the getting you’ve See how was it fake. when other words, was good--in When the fiction stitched with lies, red the threads unravels lives usedof like up, a flag to of mercy left the indifferent wind. \\\ 98 \\\ | of light. into acloak disintegrates of night cloak that which without threads the Still, cloak. up that make that threads the Still, to all. visible cling, away... threads the still &cast its black from cloak pulled athread is when your truth when youitself erased, are its “soul,”loses ha). Power sees only you it (it does lose more than only except game, azero-sum banality: of banality the blank, is itself PowerPower to leave blank. us likes to leave us it taunting blank. blinking, above cursor poised it, the eraser the we’re page, exactly: same My on the thoughts, we’remy exactly; thoughts on the page! same it’s that of God: idea about mind the ofromance areceived of of self, greed, They’re dead. this been they’ve the backdrop to is how tell long will time thing The only altogether. galaxy another afar: from seen constellations as apart far as remain them Let dots. the don’tstopped else, moving? Whatever connect one dots if of those care would you really as you play is the game moves that This numb. raw &nerves nerves &succumb, survive &no power truth all are that lives the wind, indifferent the mercy of to Left , but , | /// 99 /// Disintegrate a cloak into light: of scroll rise down, login, up, phone, your check a balloon, the into indignity liesof & the lives they waste lay to, thelives they try erase. to away, Float to grief come in deflate, slowly the trees, fluttering, between caught dark sky, earth.gray this is in, power, come power, to Truth truth. receiving anyone Is this? Signal dust, to dust & despair, noise, to always us, reaching grasping, for clawing theat the edges of truth & the lies. Facts, them to. do I want what Facts don’t like an army that will tents. its leave not Like an army that will tents its leave not wait we cannot wait we (but we wait), battle,of the choose to field unaware (painfully everywhere. that it’s aware) war. of fog for Belief, another word The argument againsterasure is A wilderness debate. for up not tongues likeof A wilderness bayonets. is sacrificed the forest where to see battle The joined, is the enemy. the battle unravels. Through smoke, the our friends, of the voices their cries, groans, it play & their silencing. We sudden deafened. are shaken not but We ear. by \\\ 100 \\\ | it. it; will Will tell. will time muchas or abides. time, more In lies, as truth lives, the back bring it cannot though erasures; the Truth erases daylight. even so, asliver of became, that long terrible past of the the night like wire, barbed like knives, like skin our against it even presses as to recognize, power fictions of a by the we refuse We together, are even when parted but not wilderness. We in crying, are smoke’s the even through erasures. glimpsed have but faces not seen human glory We but eyes not shaken our are deafened; | /// 101 /// COVFEFE , , an island,course. of It’s Surrounded a wall by tall,of darkcypresses, rather like Isle Dead the Böcklin’s of thata place fascinates & repels inequal measure. oceanThe continually rises overwhelm continuallyto so it, it raises denial Its itself higher. ever is infectious. wants be to It those of floatingone islands, like in the Gulliver’s one Travels often the It waves. above serene believes that this. has it accomplished citizens--well,Its denizens--gaze outward only resentfully, islands only at they cannot wish see nor to visit. has industry no It thebesides manufacture mirrors of air& the only hot in found balloons that driftat the nosebleeds,of altitude is rich it in stories but is always it where things. of theat center there, Almost is welcome one no Russian for tourists.except that out juts a promontory At a maelstrom, there is course a golf over child swings a lonely where & hooks & slices whitepitted balls the into mist, a sunlessover sea. \\\ 102 \\\ | THE MOTHER OF ALL BOMBS OF MOTHER THE as each little babe grows to babe asunder. little each as of rain full of lovers amayhem is her Love veins. in lightning she’s become acloud, serene thunder, as thinks clouds, she long sometimes So the in receives them. earth the else, everything Like They’re born to she smiling. so keeps plummet. onebut another pressing is always they go. as It’sdistressing, whistle They drop, no is there tumult. when they at last summit-- oneeach at the heaviest counts & her blessings, dreams & She drifts caressing. ever-swollen. nails, Ragged Her on hand her stomach, ever-swelling , she sighs, &blinks , she sighs, | /// 103 /// A DRAW is always the theIt of gun: hour the weary bullet rest. at spins, never always cancelsIt protest. the flesh’s done; never death, pop pop goes work its Pop theeven speaks silencer in tongues. theEvery wound same, every undressed. wound in hole a skythe West. calledThere’s The sets inIt the east, than redder the sun. flailing, world drowned. world A whole a whole shoot. The most don’t ridiculoustwo words: What else could all these triggers be for? are the gunners areWe the & we downed, the corpse & mortician, fittingour suit, alive & dead, before. in that moment, \\\ 104 \\\ | THE OTHER SHOE IS A SEVERED FOOT ASEVERED IS OTHER SHOE THE of the rest of the rest of the rest of the rest of the rest. rest of rest of the rest of the rest of the of the the Tomorrow sea. the never, knows day first &today the is myshade; your shadow shadow over over lies ocean, lies the that shadow,Then that shadow.then mistook shadowsWe for wave shadow next destroys. the wave the of the that see ends butend). the everyone can all No see one can without endings these we can’t that all between see in water’sto the to edge watch it go down (it’s only or down hill up the long here, is means walks Spring which of sunset. brink to back the us to bring toback life, tomorrow.come out, tomorrow,will The sun us to burn blowsmissile Thethethere’s launch up pad, buton always something. do can but everyone No everything do one can angel as of death: poster The motivational | /// 105 /// IN MEMORY OF WHEN I CARED the by waiting woken were We the other smokingfor gun drop. to a faithful quickly, comes Night dog, eyes shining,black fur. black a face of fortune The cookietells world how the us will in end tears, inbed. tee reads A black WHEN OF IN I CARED.MEMORY Every day mourning something funereal.feels We’re will. yet, but happened that hasn’t our ears have the to ground though our headsWe having an out-of-the- severed. We’re feel experience. body-politic if elegy an by elegy, you mean We’re a motherfucker this light to place ready up. \\\ 106 \\\ | THE MIDTERMS THE a fist, a flower crushed within it. within a flowercrushed a fist, We can’t forget, we can’t forgive, we raise forgets. November remembers, light. in & in darkness dies Democracy watch. there’s too much streaming; to gallantly so once, at available revolution of episodes the All dark. the in grow, rushes blade the shining the Gangrene year. next another year, next another There’s always heart. year,of until the next stations polling deserted the in held over Vote face. our early, vote often, apillow It& innocent. feels like complicit both of being for crime the It’s we’re if as to pardoned be waiting (most people alike won’t). &shares Shares or afuture? Is hope acommodity rising. oceans, the beach, the beneath beach; the media, social the Beneath history. makes scale on alarge longing star-- aflowerPin falling to a | /// 107 /// . (1928-2017) Adam West ) Goodnight, chum. no shame,no gain no MEANWHILE, AT STATELY WAYNE MANOR WAYNE MEANWHILE, STATELY AT Down in the Batcave, we’re bright with the graceDown in the we’re Batcave, that zaps villains & pulls cheeks of tongues out with a pun, a knowing wink.our kink: That’s as if our parents It’s Happiness! Holy gunned never were in down the firstplace. on, same good, bright we goes The fight fight Bat-Channel. same Bat-Time, also a cabaret, it’s chum, If old life’s a circus: the is only question play, to ourroles We have fishnetsor tights. into slide down, to maskspoles don, to costumes that fit us likegloves. blueblack a Amidst all our disguises, our voices seems mind; to betray one no us, but Utility your me show if Belt, you I’ll mine. you After show all,needs who can Catwoman three? you one when have embarrassmentThisan of riches, life’s shame no ( feel we but \\\ 108 \\\ | died and was «buried among strangers.» «buried was and died wife his that trip, On government. the British from pension military a to request beingin went poverty, to Canada Okemos, age, In old his AREA AN UNINCORPORATED IS OKEMOS & yet still see the forest the for see trees, the & yet still of heads floating horses, deflating the pools, grills, with studded wastes into unfenced right, at to look its edge; yet remain left, How odd now, forest that in to deep be split-level our between green-black. &that lawn the as vast as by adistance created illusion an ice &rocks, made of for eternity—rings of Saturn rings demon the a speed around to drive had Steve condemned page, Ditko the On what Ifelt aknowable unknown. was to into indigo, up ink from glance I’d at dusk, by comics flashlight Reading on the Prowl Monsters a Snoopy blanket. Asleeping bag, havethat erased. been those especially details, the in is by adeveloper...spared The devil Black Forestof somethe instead trees it awe, were if as chilled entering with creek, of alittle over trickle the you had to go always to it, stepping to waveyou-- never came a frozen that woods, of the tsunami tangled the stood pupBeyond the tent pitched patio by the upon subdivisions… subdivisions someone was else’s yard, Everything . | /// 109 /// for the treesfor & nothing, nothing else. still odd to How see the infinite in panel after colors, four panel, & see thefinite in a blade,freshly severed smelling earth: of a void, of the opposite overwhelmingyet in emptiness. its propertiesproperty of a The line, twilights...thechasm between (inside) When asked, father was said my Okemos just an Indian old chief. was That all. \\\ 110 \\\ | YOU SAY ISAY CHIASMUS, CHIMERA snaketooth, goathorn, lionclaw,snaketooth, remember. Lionclaw, same. the goathorn, snaketooth; nothing’s But feeling again. this Oh, dusk toof come. summer, summer &every dayhot truly end first at of the the you dusk into stepped the time every is exit-wound ashot An head. to the heart, the from straight abullet, number one with top, to the that’s gold, solid ahit, straight amyth nature, in never existed that Memory abeast is past. into the recede happens it so can everything before past itthe way happens: the into recedes It’s way everything the | /// 111 /// ZOO TROPEZOO

— is lucrative. is lucrative. —the millions spend we sits alone behind alone sits the glass, their voice, coming out of a bird or pig pig or a bird their of coming out voice, the bird, no eyes of eyes resemble whose a dog, of out comes another pig; no voice & narrow eyes pop whose & a deer, or one no in words pop to response said thoughtsay to or have would until these chimeras shape took pixels, cels. paper, on Anything can smile to be made stretchif far it you anything enough; can speak to be made give if it you tongue.your The ease withwe which turn selves into the world maketo seem, though it seeming even requires our voice... When I was a child, all mine. their were voices The difference between substitution & replacement lips moving, its on, eyes its headphones traveling across the feathers black a white page. on perched words of makesIt a sound like nothing else in the the of light. forests No costumes,No makeup; often no actors the in even the same room. aren’t they hear—they find later, Months wearyI grow talking of animals, though I hear voice work \\\ 112 \\\ | THEY WERE SINGING RHIANNON SINGING WERE THEY arrived. How it’s to leave.arrived. time always hereget you’ve from there because already how say: you can’t will what they knowing for lamppost, directions, the against You don’t shadow, that to ask want leaning broader broad or in the daylight night. Youteeth. don’t out amap to pull want your a foreign behind tongueawaits Welcome reads forA sign Home; tourists shade represented. of lipstick every leaves, fallen with rich is The fountain warm. they’refor still over acentury; away? No benches one sat on has these over pigeons your head, slowly backing before staring square statue you, agray empty this with align grid How this does where you But are. whereexactly that? is You knowing here: always lost, are always &crises. by blurred creases boundaries smudged names to erasures, street wrinkled old map an outworn, & unfolding, It’sDesire, Complicated: folding , NOT VIENNA

| /// 113 /// THROWBACK THURSDAYS THROWBACK I. head, a crimsonHer with orb starry eyes-- Seventies hot. smokin’ body, her but somethingplunging a neckline about There’s that cowl a surmounted inspires by Deep was Thoughts.She a villain,of course (villainess, respect to the context) joke sortof the Thursday, named Ruby the panel, Seventies might make one (in became head her a giant pair lips). of bedeviledShe Defenders; all The else I could Google creator, I forget. her which artist flesh... dots Ben-Day her made rise her let to & sink I prefer but Thursday: Goodbye,in Ruby consciousness. my you powerful, faceless. Were sexy, really it. so evil? doubt to I tend II. used meet to Thursday, everyWe Thursday, met I ever Have didn’t. we except at Even room? in a motel someone illicit, most my there was it never always in elsewhere, but lairs, others’ in spaces circumscribed guilt less by desire thanor time, by enough never enough). was it world pretending (always Listening Morphine, to the carnal seemed in in even reach, the deserts need. of a dryEven spell magic... of is a form Dirty thoughts in season. a pure song The remains the the same greedy but heart a mixtapedoes not, in an empty vault. \\\ 114 \\\ | for world? the These far worlds, so but it would up I miss sadness, throws feed the seven Every days, chests. our in of now dorkness visible hearts insincere, Weit’s embarrassing. were sincerely Emo so &labrets, jestrums like hooks wearing deck, on gasping the lies throwback fish youcan’t the net, neural the in Caught aroutine. nostalgia game, a weekly cool, but no longer young. Memory’s now Everyone young so &uncool, or was their pretty, heads. empty rear pasts These gone.so The weekend beckons, hydra-faced. to go;far,so far Thursday’s has child III. , before this. | /// 115 /// SOLSTICE II:SOLSTICE THE REVENGE Another summer, tryingAnother summer, pass. to In the courtyard, moving a cloud, fast.tower, a casket sky, church The of still. the At funeral across the street, home crowd a reluctantly Men gathers. slows. The traffic never chatting in Spanish the sad bodega, outside with half-empty its cat. no Fourth shelves, Avenue in sunlight, until intercedes another cloud our behalf.on A silver-trimmed hearse pulls like up, a of Childrenschool. out fish everywhere, dropping constant. Flags,trash.sidewalk flowers, The some secret, where cracked with moves root, hidden thesome urgency molasses. of Everything sticking the to skin time. except time, windows, happening, more but more the window, From that have is it we as else. always, How someone to so little So far while less? even past noon others have When not. shall mightit as well three be night, it’s we but never, meet again, Never, O morning, O night? O noon, then again. walk Let’s never… the up hill, it, watch to again: the tilted axis,the drunken wobble. walk Let’s In Sunset high; go low. goes Park, we it here— armwe’re in why arm, the to wheel. shoulders That’s bells The stillof disappear it there). watch to (it’s toll. A cornet fillsSt. Michael’s the cafe.The landlord never is day coffee. longest Outside, the orders always & it’s day:the that longest always later, comes thanshorter expect. you good,feel-better, feel The a blockbuster. feel-anything the It’s hit of summer. the & down the block, Up air the silent conditioners, clocks; the here, ink the on page, like distant dirty snow. \\\ 116 \\\ | A VOLTA A twist your head to catch one last glimpse of grace. of grace. your head to one catch glimpse last twist you to back, that may one not the be to turn There’s alwayspointit’s a of return; just for awarm-up. waitress you the asked point unless of the nocooled past return... to identify.too fast Thecoffee bird flew by, we’re Alittle that guards. the power, impression labor the under after &grasp who thirst some those of us, We’re only together; yard on the all is? universe Well, the what do you think even He can’tsecure out break of it?” aprison so make God “Can & asked, The oldfoldedhis newspaper man | /// 117 /// ING . There’s no . There’s THE VIOLENT INCIDENT NEVADA IN VEGAS, LAS GREGORY CROSBY MARKED HIMSELF DUR CROSBY SAFE GREGORY Easily done—I wasn’t there, except Easily wasn’t done—I I was. a morning awoke from That I City burn nightmare York New I watched where beneath a boiling someone cloud, mushroom see them, I couldn’t screaming but nearby, I was alone, I was watching the end alone, waiting for the shockwave, waiting dieto with alone others, with others, myself wake to alone. I forced before next me, to the love hit,shockwave my morning light the at the edges of room. strange hometown, heart,In city my my of the on thirty-second awoke a cloud floor in gold, Mandalay void of black Bay—a a missing tooth in the the face of sun, darkness open, a window that never should behind glinting. it, A line fire. of First the flash, wave. afterwave then wave, the safe. Am I safe? No, I’m Am I safe? Yes, safe all. at not ends. never It I’m no, Someone always screaming nearby. Alone. automatic With others. It’s dream, nothing to wake from. We’ve beendream, awake nothing wake to from. We’ve marked ourselves have We time a long now. for safe so that others can die. a cloud Did swallow the sun the or sun swallow A line fire. of A cloudburst. a cloud? We wait.passes shockwave The we wait. & \\\ 118 \\\ | UNDER THE FIREHOUSE FIREHOUSE THE UNDER before the bus speeds up, & overtakes them. them. up,before bus speeds &overtakes the cold, the in of them aglimpse hands: holding front,the get But off at mother &child door to rear exit. the to use please voice us reminds adisembodied as tight suddenly sealed seem into lives our to seep heartbreak allow cracks Whatever lovely sounds That mortality. contemplates impossiblyeyes bright, his light, winter to the turned face pale parka, not herdoes blue-green as son, blanch in the firehouse under Iwant Idie, to be When declares, voice to serious pick up, the off. small, drop Then Above, we weave, underpass. slow the through on metal, out, metal cries Dtrain the Along soul. pause as his itsomething, feeds Grandpa water? like Waterdoes him gives there? Well,Why any water, really. Why on the Chesapeake. spread to ashes have his Grandpa it’s wants pretty; because in mind, have aplace too. then ahome Grandma has to like people Because equal: an as to herchild who mother rare speaks The Green-wood’s slush past through bus crawls the gate. as seven,or voice, six This no than more go to cemeteries? people dead do Why , & the mother , &the , she replies. NOTES

Lonely Starbucks Lovers: In theory, Taylor Swift is singing “Got a long list of ex-lovers” in her hit song “Blank Space,” but repeated scientific testing proves that she is, in fact, singing “lonely Starbucks lovers.”

Extended Play: The title is also the name of the form, wherein the end words spell out first the title and then the song titles, in order, from an extended play, in this case R.E.M’s 1982 release Chronic Town.

Lachrymorpheus: This poem was inspired by a tweet by the poet Amy Lawless.

Dope & Baller: This poem contains the second of three allusions to R.E.M. in this collection, a mysteriously high percentage.

Mid-Life: The epigraph comes, of course, from the opening line of Dante’s Inferno.

We’ll Be Back in Just a Moment, But Faust…: The title is a riff on the original unused title of The Firesign Theater’s 1970 releaseDon’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers.

Are Your Headaches Just a Dead Twin Inside Your Brain?/ China Can’t Stop People from Hiring Funeral Strippers: Both titles were ripped from yesterday’s headlines.

The Glass Delusion: The glass delusion, a condition in which the sufferer believes to be made out of glass, first appeared around 1400 and is one of the very few specific mental delusions to survive into the modern age.

Charleston: From Wikipedia: “The Charleston church shooting (also known as the Charleston church massacre) was a mass shooting in which Dylann Roof, a 21-year-old white supremacist, murdered nine African Americans (including the senior pastor, state \\\ 120 \\\ | masks made by indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest that now Northwest Pacific of the peoples by indigenous made masks to ceremonial given titles the from title its takes section Each Nine Masks: awriter.” “Once awriter, always meaning, roughly Burroughs, S. William You Squad Can’t Walk Shakespeare the on Out “Don’tBe Giants’ Let’sMight Start.” They from lyric amisquoted is beautiful is &that alone dies Everybody line The claimed. story newspaper the so Or times. of our jailbreak successful most the this makes which sanctuary, animal cow The an livewent on to Queens. in somewhere Sad of Marquis The no Therewas Jenny.’” backyard. my in sitting just that all music and the telephone and number the and ‹Jenny,› the up with came just Iactually contrary, to the mythology Call co-writer interview… aJune 2004 May 1982… in in Tracks chart #16 and 100 chart on the Billboard Top at on #4 the Billboard Hot peaked released on the album on the released by Tommy Tutone that was performed Keller and Call and Jim by Alex Portrait of Jenny of Portrait be. should it as perhaps it is up, which to turn failed repeatedly has Google poem; this of line first the across where Icame recall Icannot Lost: Found Poem helplessly to, responds one what is Kitsch to The Me: phrase Emailed &Then a Horse Hugging Students Riding ThatHer One of The Photo of GirlfriendTook My it up. Seriously, look theories. conspiracy historical of all sexy least and obscure The Phantom Time Hypothesis war.” a race igniting hope of the in shooting the to committing Roof confessed Carolina. Shelby, North in Roof arrested police attack, the after The morning of June 17, evening survived. on the victims 2015. Carolina, other Three South Charleston, downtown in Church Episcopal Methodist African at the Emanuel aprayer service during Pinckney) C. senator Clementa explained his version of the song›s real origins: ‘Despite all the the ‘Despite all origins: version song›s real of his the explained is from Jeff Koons. Jeff Koons. from is : From Wikipedia: “’867-5309/Jenny’ a 1981 is : From song written Wikipedia: : The runaway cow is a true story; happened it story; true cowis a runaway : The Tommy Tutone 2 : The Phantom Time Hypothesis is the most the most is : The Phantom Hypothesis Time , on the Columbia Records label. It Records label. , on the Columbia : The title is a quote by title : The Alex Alex | /// 121 /// : “Rhiannon” is by a song . Democracy dies in darkness is the motto .; : Ruby Thursday: Ruby was Stevecreatedby Gerber, : The : The title takes“Mississippiits cue Nina from Simone’s We used to meetWe every isthe Thursday, Thursday, opening Longing on a large scale makes history is the opening line of : reside inreside the Northwest Coast Hall collection the of Museum Natural of History. Solstice Goddamn Goddamn.” MidtermsThe Underworld novel DeLillo’s Don Washington ThePostadopted by in the presidential wake the of 2016 election. Were Singing TheyRhiannon, Vienna Not line the release of 1993 “Thursday”by bandthe Morphine. Gregory Crosby Marked Himself Safe… is dedicated the to memory of the 58 in murdered people the mass shooting that took place the on Las As thisof writing, Strip October 2017. on “the 1, Vegas incident remains the deadliest mass shooting committed an by individual in the United States.” Fleetwood Mac, released Scientificin 1976. testing, alas,reveals that Stevie Nicks really is singing Rhiannon Thursdays Throwback Sal Buscema and first and Jimappeared Mooney, in The Defenders #32 (February1976).

| /// 123 ///

POETICS & PROCESS WITH LYNNE DESILVA-JOHNSON LYNNE WITH GREGORY CROSBY IN CONVERSATION CONVERSATION IN CROSBY GREGORY Greetings comrade! Thank youfor talking to us about your process today! Can you introduce yourself, that you would in a way choose? A writer dreamed who was he a poet, poet a or dreamed who was he a hard tell. to it’s writer… Why you a poet/writer/artist? are I wish those of I knew; one things it’s that just happens, I suppose. I suspect thatif I’d grown in up a different context, I could easily become a have conceptual artist, with poetry path one merely among many. When did you decide you were a poet/writer/artist do you feel (and/or: comfortable calling yourself poet/writer/artist, a what other titles or affiliations do you prefer/feel accurate)? more are I started wanting out write to realized fiction,once I but my late in twenties that what most I wrote of was poetry, I accepted the inevitable. no I have withproblem the designation; always I’ve been slightly suspicious poets of disdainwho the title A pernicious a humblebrag? Is it “poet.” of form of self-deprecation/loathing?If poems are the majority write what you of and a poet. publish, then you’re What’s a “poet” “writer” (or or “artist”) anyway? What do you see as your cultural andthe literary social / artistic role (in / creative community and beyond)? shouldEveryone write poetry, everyone not needs but be a be to a poet--to poet is write to as if poetry a vocation calling. were or just role The then isn’t writeto them poems into the put to out but After world. in they’re world, the anything might happen. \\\ 124 \\\ | it will appear). it will perhaps and It’s it’s amirror into abook, it’s a book, (say times abook it three mission/intentions/hopes/plans? your of indicative ...as history? of your indicative ...as practice? method/creative of your indicative ...as toyou work represent particular this does What any. as civilization of contemporary description someone always else’s a as good is is problem,which wreckage The itself. of idea disaster the occurred--from just disaster whatever from detachment a strange represents but it also triumph, and of survival symbol a cliched truthfully titled it titled truthfully have could more I away; walk to tried they as them havewould flattened explosions slow of most those motion (in in reality, blast some massive from away walk they as of flame clouds by boiling hero silhouetted of the trope the knows years thirty past the in Anyone who’s thriller or TV amovie watched specifically. work your and/or you colors etc) influences sections, pieces, (individual of naming process your how and Talk book, the way the titled you about it generated? How was represent? title your does what of monikers, Speaking to start. place for afertile me, always, it’s else, something into turns question in poem the Even if sonnet. about the satisfying there’s forms, but of something received compact elastic most the as a As prompt. simply use Ioften some don’t, baseline but that’s aformal sonnets, to be want sonnet--some poems for the My is composition default write? way the work/ you informed people creative of other readings/writings/work or environments, instructive or teachers work? ofHave your certain creation the (if any) practices in use you do constrictive other or structures formal What that. than thread other There’s noin. really weourselves find Timeline Darkest of this absurdity out grow of the they temporally; always if not emotionally chronological, somewhat are collection this in poems The not? how How or made? being work was /the written being were themselves poems the while a theme around specifically making or writing as process your understand or acollection as collection this envision you Did Crawling Away from Explosions in Slow Motion in Slow Crawling Away Explosions from ). It’s | /// 125 /// What does this much bookas DO (as what or says it contains)? readers for to decide. That’s Whatwould be the best possible outcomefor this book? What might do it in theworld, and how will its presence as an object facilitate your creative role in your community and beyond? What your are hopes for this book, and for your practice? The bestof outcome book possibleany is it that finds readers and does something them, for whatever that that be however is may or defined. What a poem does--what, often,single a linephraseor does--is such a subjective experience… only is my hope that creates it kind some experience, of whether a thought a feeling, or that clarifiesor enlarges theirown thoughts and feelings. Let’s talk little a bit about the role poetics of and creative community in social activism, in particular in what I call which has “Civil Rights remained 2.0,” immediately present all around us in the time leading up this to series’ publication.I’d be curious hearto some thoughts on the challenges face we in speaking and publishing across lines race,of age, privilege, social/cultural background,and sexuality within vs. the community, the dangers remaining of and producing in isolated “silos.” If literature has any real utility (beyond the impure pleasure reading of and that writing allows it it’s us see to through it), the eyes others. of We’re all trapped in our own skulls, surprising not so it’s that replicate we that in our forms community. of find (I talk“community”of deeply suspect; HickeyDave used say that to talked whenever someone community, of he knew was someone be to about excluded. “civil I prefer society elective of affinities,”mouthful). a but that’s All anyone do can isaware be oftheir own positionality and strive remain not to in their silo--to continually reach across lines, yes, listen to coming but what’s to across those lines as well. It’s continuala aware, that one challenge, can if be met but (supposing, you’re alas, aware your of own position and privilege that you’re in the firstplace). Is there anything else should we asked, have or that to share? you want I wish mother my had lived read to this. \\\ 126 \\\ | CUNY and as a workshop leader for Brooklyn Poets. for aworkshop leader Brooklyn as and CUNY College– at Lehman writing creative teaches and Justice Criminal of Jay John professor College at the associate adjunct He an is Prize. Ponsot of New Poetry York,College Marie 2006 where he won the City the from writing MFA creative holds an in and Arts Literary in Fellowship Council Arts a Nevada awarded He was project. art public Bridge Poets of the creation the in instrumental was and Division Affairs Cultural for the consultant apoetry as he served Vegas, Las where commentator in cultural and columnist critic, art 2016). (Yes Press, an he worked as adecade Poetry For more than 2014) System, Operating Thirteen of Book (The and The aDistance at GREGORY CROSBY Spooky Action Action Spooky chapbooks author of the the is WHY PRINT / DOCUMENT?

The Operating System uses the language “print document” to differentiate from the book-object as part of our mission to distinguish the act of documentation- in-book-FORM from the act of publishing as a backwards-facing replication of the book’s agentive *role* as it may have appeared the last several centuries of its history. Ultimately, I approach the book as TECHNOLOGY: one of a variety of printed documents (in this case, bound) that humans have invented and in turn used to archive and disseminate ideas, beliefs, stories, and other evidence of production.

Ownership and use of printing presses and access to (or restriction of printed materials) has long been a site of struggle, related in many ways to revolutionary activity and the fight for civil rights and free speech all over the world. While (in many countries) the contemporary quotidian landscape has indeed drastically shifted in its access to platforms for sharing information and in the widespread ability to “publish” digitally, even with extremely limited resources, the importance of publication on physical media has not diminished. In fact, this may be the most critical time in recent history for activist groups, artists, and others to insist upon learning, establishing, and encouraging personal and community documentation practices. Hear me out.

With The OS’s print endeavors I wanted to open up a conversation about this: the ultimately radical, transgressive act of creating PRINT /DOCUMENTATION in the digital age. It’s a question of the archive, and of history: who gets to tell the story, and what evidence of our life, our behaviors, our experiences are we leaving behind? We can know little to nothing about the future into which we’re leaving an unprecedentedly digital document trail — but we can be assured that publications, government agencies, museums, schools, and other institutional powers that be will continue to leave BOTH a digital and print version of their production for the official record. Will we?

As a (rogue) anthropologist and long time academic, I can easily pull up many accounts about how lives, behaviors, experiences — how THE STORY of a time or place — was pieced together using the deep study of correspondence, notebooks, and other physical documents which are no longer the norm in many lives and practices. As we move our creative behaviors towards digital note taking, and even audio and video, what can we predict about future technology that is in any way assuring that our stories will be accurately told – or told at all? How will we leave these things for the record?

In these documents we say: WE WERE HERE, WE EXISTED, WE HAVE A DIFFERENT STORY

- Lynne DeSilva-Johnson, Founder/Creative Director THE OPERATING SYSTEM, Brooklyn NY 2018 RECENT & FORTHCOMING OS PRINT::DOCUMENTS and PROJECTS, 2018-19

2019

Ark Hive-Marthe Reed I Made for You a New Machine and All it Does is Hope - Richard Lucyshyn Illusory Borders-Heidi Reszies A Year of Misreading the Wildcats - Orchid Tierney We Are Never The Victims - Timothy DuWhite Of Color: Poets’ Ways of Making | An Anthology of Essays on Transformative Poetics - Amanda Galvan Huynh & Luisa A. Igloria, Editors

KIN(D)* Texts and Projects

A Bony Framework for the Tangible Universe-D. Allen Opera on TV-James Brunton Hall of Waters-Berry Grass Transitional Object-Adrian Silbernagel

Glossarium: Unsilenced Texts and Translations

Śnienie / Dreaming - Marta Zelwan/Krystyna Sakowicz, (Poland, trans. Victoria Miluch) Alparegho: Pareil-À-Rien / Alparegho, Like Nothing Else - Hélène Sanguinetti (France, trans. Ann Cefola) High Tide Of The Eyes - Bijan Elahi (Farsi-English/dual-language) trans. Rebecca Ruth Gould and Kayvan Tahmasebian In the Drying Shed of Souls: Poetry from Cuba’s Generation Zero Katherine Hedeen and Víctor Rodríguez Núñez, translators/editors Street Gloss - Brent Armendinger with translations for Alejandro Méndez, Mercedes Roffé, Fabián Casas, Diana Bellessi, and Néstor Perlongher (Argentina) Operation on a Malignant Body - Sergio Loo (Mexico, trans. Will Stockton) Are There Copper Pipes in Heaven - Katrin OttarsdÓttir (Faroe Islands, trans. Matthew Landrum)

2019 CHAPBOOKS

Print::Document Chapbook Series (7th Annual)

Vela. - Knar Gavin [零] A Phantom Zero - Ryu Ando RE: Verses - Kristina Darling and Chris Campanioni Don’t Be Scared - Magdalena Zurawski Digital Chapbook Series (2018-19)

The American Policy Player’s Guide and Dream Book - Rachel Zolf Flight of the Mothman - Gyasi Hall Mass Transitions - Sue Landers The George Oppen Memorial BBQ - Eric Benick 2018

An Absence So Great and Spontaneous It Is Evidence of Light - Anne Gorrick The Book of Everyday Instruction - Chloë Bass Executive Orders Vol. II - a collaboration with the Organism for Poetic Research One More Revolution - Andrea Mazzariello The Suitcase Tree - Filip Marinovich Chlorosis - Michael Flatt and Derrick Mund Sussuros a Mi Padre - Erick Sáenz Sharing Plastic - Blake Nemec In Corpore Sano : Creative Practice and the Challenged Body [Anthology] Abandoners - Lesley Ann Wheeler Jazzercise is a Language - Gabriel Ojeda-Sague Born Again - Ivy Johnson Attendance - Rocío Carlos and Rachel McLeod Kaminer Singing for Nothing - Wally Swist The Ways of the Monster - Jay Besemer Walking Away From Explosions in Slow Motion - Gregory Crosby Field Guide to Autobiography - Melissa Eleftherion

Glossarium: Unsilenced Texts and Translations

The Book of Sounds - Mehdi Navid (Farsi dual language, trans. Tina Rahimi Kawsay: The Flame of the Jungle - María Vázquez Valdez (Mexico, trans. Margaret Randall) Return Trip / Viaje Al Regreso - Israel Dominguez; (Cuba, trans. Margaret Randall)

2018 CHAPBOOK SERIES (6TH ANNUAL)

Want-catcher - Adra Raine We, The Monstrous - Mark DuCharme; Greater Grave - Jacq Greyja Needles of Itching Feathers - Jared Schickling

for our full catalog please visit: https://squareup.com/store/the-operating-system/

deeply discounted Book of the Month and Chapbook Series subscriptions are a great way to support the OS’s projects and publications! sign up at: http://www.theoperatingsystem.org/subscribe-join/ DOC U MENT /däkyәmәnt/

First meant “instruction” or “evidence,” whether written or not.

noun - a piece of written, printed, or electronic matter that provides information or evidence or that serves as an official record verb - record (something) in written, photographic, or other form synonyms - paper - deed - record - writing - act - instrument

[Middle English, precept, from Old French, from Latin documentum, example, proof, from docre, to teach; see dek- in Indo-European roots.]

Who is responsible for the manufacture of value?

Based on what supercilious ontology have we landed in a space where we vie against other creative people in vain pursuit of the fleeting credibilities of the scarcity economy, rather than freely collaborating and sharing openly with each other in ecstatic celebration of MAKING?

While we understand and acknowledge the economic pressures and fear-mongering that threatens to dominate and crush the creative impulse, we also believe that now more than ever we have the tools to relinquish agency via cooperative means, fueled by the fires of the Open Source Movement.

Looking out across the invisible vistas of that rhizomatic parallel country we can begin to see our community beyond constraints, in the place where intention meets resilient, proactive, collaborative organization.

Here is a document born of that belief, sown purely of imagination and will. When we document we assert. We print to make real, to reify our being there. When we do so with mindful intention to address our process, to open our work to others, to create beauty in words in space, to respect and acknowledge the strength of the page we now hold physical, a thing in our hand, we remind ourselves that, like Dorothy: we had the power all along, my dears.   the PRINT! DOCUMENT SERIES is a project of the trouble with bartleby in collaboration with the operating system