Honey I'm Pregnant
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
A DAD’S MANUAL THAT EVERY NEW DAD SHOULD READ By David Nancarrow, Men and Family Relationship Counsellor with Centacare Tasmania Contents Page Introduction What’s your experience of “I’m Pregnant?” 3 Sample of the cookbook from: ‘What’s for tea dad?’ ‘Honey I’m Pregnant’ dad’s manual offers some What can my baby hear thorough the womb? 3 Grilled Pumpkin reflection on what it will be like to be a dad; it doesn’t How do I bond with my baby? 4 represent the whole picture and should only be taken Being a stay home dad continued Getting to the hospital 4 as suggestions to consider. Parenting? What’s the best time to take off from work? You might be one of those guys who may feel totally What could you look forward to if you were a stay Antenatal Classes unprepared about becoming a dad. You might have home dad? a mix of feelings from being totally excited to thinking The birth Raising boys this is pretty scary stuff. You could be questioning are Cutting the umbilical cord. Males often don’t like eye to eye contact. you responsible enough? You might be thinking hey The placenta Raising girls I can’t even look after myself let alone a baby! You What about male circumcision? may ask yourself what sort of dad will you be? What The subject of parenting/discipline is huge. was your old man like? Did he leave you with a good The first weeks at home What does Time + Play = Relationship mean? example of how to be a dad? Now it is your turn to be Will you have a quiet or noisy home Men can usually focus on one thing at a time. a dad, let the adventure begin. Is my life over when the baby comes home? Work-life-family balance Questions you might ask when your baby is How do I keep the relationship side of things crying? going? Calming your baby, here’s a few tips. Special thanks and acknowledgements More tips on how to sooth your baby. What temperature should the baby bath be? Sleep deprivation Dad’s role in breast feeding dadstheword.com/ Sex before and after birth Baby blues. What’s postnatal depression? What support do you need as the dad? What can you offer your family? Placenta Encapsulation. What was your dad like? What sort of dad do you want to be? As a dad you will parent differently. Parenting as your baby becomes a toddler Becoming an engaged dad. Being a stay home dad? What’s your experience of, ‘I’m Pregnant’? What can my baby hear from the womb? “When I heard those life changing words of ‘Honey, I’m Pregnant!’ I first thought, gee that was Your baby can hear from around 23 weeks into the pregnancy. Sounds like music in your quick, we only started trying to get pregnant a few weeks ago! I was both excited and scared at home or car, house noises, mum and dad’s voice, the television. the same time. A sense of extra responsibility grew and I really questioned if I was ready for this Talking to your baby allows your baby to get to know your voice. So get up close to mum’s whole fatherhood thing”. belly and have a chat. Talking to your baby even singing will get him/her familiar with Most new dads feel this. One moment they are excited and then feel an overwhelming your voice. Why is this important? When your baby is born it will be much easier for you to sense of fear and responsibility that leads to: ‘I’m not cut out for this’, ‘I don’t feel bond if they know your voice. prepared’, ‘the responsibility is too much’, ‘I cannot be a dad I don’t even know how to care for myself let alone care for a baby!’ How do I bond with my baby? I encourage new dads to take some time to be alone, breathe deeply, slow down and Many dads comment that they don’t feel connected with their baby, especially remember that since mankind has existed on planet earth millions of men have become when the bub is in the womb. They feel they are looking from the outside in to dads, it is very natural. You will be fine! where all the action is. You might have been trying to fall pregnant for so long and can’t believe it has actually Quite a lot of dads say that when their baby is kicking and they put their hand on occurred. Or you might have just started to try and you can be a bit disappointed as it has the mother’s tummy to feel it, bub instantly stops. Why does this happen? been rather fun having so much sex! But the reality will start to sink in and you actually realise that you have got her pregnant! Some dads believe the baby goes to sleep and doesn’t like them. But I think a much more logical reason could explain why the baby stops moving and that the baby is Creating a child is pretty mind blowing when you think about it and becoming a dad simply not used to the dads presence. Sometimes dads can become discouraged by could be summed up as a relationship between you and your child. The rest of this dad’s this and give up trying to feel bub move. However it doesn’t have to be this way. manual will attempt to explore how to develop this relationship and give you a kickstart into a rewarding family life. This dad’s guide will start with how you can connect with bub The baby can sense the mother all the time because the baby is inside her. When in the womb, and then what to expect at the birth from a dad’s point of view and then another human being is close could they sense it? It is unlikely that the baby can finally progress on to being a dad to your child. actually feel the dad touch them due to the many layers of muscle, womb and fluid separating the baby from the outside world. I have found that increasing my contact with the baby by resting my hand on my wife’s tummy while watching a movie or while spooning in bed increased the connection I had with bub. The end result was that I was able to feel the kicks and movement without them stopping. This will be a very rewarding moment with your child and will add to your bonding experience. Touching your baby – this is possible especially when the baby is close to the outside of the womb. Sometimes you may feel a foot or part of the body. Your baby can hear from around 23 weeks ... Talking to your baby even singing will get him/her familiar with your voice. ©Jibby 7 Getting to the hospital Most mammals in the animal kingdom choose a quiet dark It is important not to panic. solitary place to give birth. The Birth Rushing around can stop the The birth was a very surreal experience for me. It was like being in a dream. The wakeup Even at the hospital the bright contractions. call was actually seeing my baby boy being born. During the pregnancy the baby had lights and activity together with been hidden for nine months. I first experienced headaches from the stress. It is not nice So keep calm, you may be excited the unfamiliar settings have been watching your partner go through extreme amounts of pain and not being able to do but keep calm. known to stop the contractions. anything about it. I wanted the midwife to inject me with a Pethidine shot as well to help Grab the right bag ready for the You could ask for the lights to be with my stress levels! hospital. turned down, maybe some music Don’t speed to the hospital, might help. Every birth can have its differences and your experience will be unique. But here are a few suggestions: Take off your rings – Why? A woman giving birth can gain incredible this too can cause panic in the A peaceful environment is amounts of strength and if she is holding your hand and squeezing it hard then maybe mother and labour can stop. The important to maintain in the you might experience some of the pain she is going through as your finger is being mothers’ body can interpret your birth process. frantic driving as not a safe time severed off! to give birth. Sometimes you are asked to help rub her back, get cool cloths and move from one request to the other. Go with the flow. Sometimes you will feel frustrated by not knowing what’s going on. Keep calm! Ask the midwife or the doctor questions if you don’t understand what’s going on. If you start to feel light headed sit down, because a dad crashing to the floor is not a good What’s the best time to take off from work? look and is the last thing the doctor and midwife need to tend to while assisting the birth of your child. This is a good question as some dads take time off work and go on annual leave as soon as the mum goes into labour. It is important to realise that this is a personal and a Try to remember your partner is pushing out something the size of a football so if she practical decision.