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Holiday Movie Preview | Winter Wonderland in St. Augustine | Holiday Event Calendar | Mitchell’s Fish Market

free weekly guide to entertainment and more | november 29 - december 5, 2007 | www.eujacksonville.com 2 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper table of contents feature Holiday Gift Guide...... PAGES 14-19 Holiday Events...... PAGE 15 Winter Wonderland (St. Augustine Amphitheatre)...... PAGE 26 movies Movies in Theaters this Week...... PAGES 6-10 Holiday Movie Preview...... PAGES 6-7 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (movie review)...... PAGE 8 Mama’s Boy (movie review)...... PAGE 9 Hitman (movie review)...... PAGE 10 No Country for Old Men (movie review)...... PAGE 11 home Netscapades...... PAGE 12 Video Games ...... PAGE 13 dish Dish Update...... PAGES 20 Mitchell’s Fish Market (restaurant review)...... PAGES 20-21 music Music Calendar...... PAGES 22-26 Shoofly (European Street)...... PAGE 22 Jucifer, Antarctic & Dark Castle (Jack Rabbits)...... PAGE 23 Slightly Stoopid (Freebird Live)...... PAGE 24 Middle Distance Runner (interview) ...... PAGE 25 arts / theatre / on stage Flood at Pedestrian...... PAGE 27 Gift of the Magi (St. Augustine Amphitheatre)...... PAGE 28 Peter Pan - Thrasher Horne (interview)...... PAGE 29 columns and stuff Native Foreigner...... PAGE 30 The Jock...... PAGE 30 NASCAR News & Notes...... PAGE 31

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 3 thisweek The Almost november 29 Whether he’s out in front of his thursday rock-based project The Almost or behind the drum kit for Underoath, Limelight Theatre: Santaland Diaries Clearwater’s own Aaron Gillespie Find out what it’s really like to be a department store Santa. From can’t help but throw himself into humiliating interviews to elf indoctrination to scrapes with miscast everything he does. See him and the Santas and obnoxious customers, author David Sedaris’ real-life rest of The Almost this Friday at the experiences working as an elf at Macy’s are merrily subversive and Freebird. fall-on-your-knees funny. This must-see Christmas comedy will run Tickets: $13/advance, $15/day of from Thursday to December 8. Tickets: $20, 2 for $25 on Tuesday, show. Freebird Live- 8 pm, Info: December 4. Limelight Theatre’s New Studio Theatre, Info: (904) (904) 246-BIRD 825-1164 King of Prussia The Great American Jazz Series- Concert 1; Kurt Jacksonville’s own electro-pop Elling, Jazz Vocalist sensation, Lazerstar, is back from his sabbatical at a Buddhist The 20th Anniversary of the GAJS begins with the preeminent Monastary in Woodstock, New male jazz singer today. Kurt Elling’s rich baritone voice spans four York to perform with Athens psych octaves and displays an astonishing technical facility and emotional band King of Prussia. According to depth. Elling has an awesome command of rhythm, texture, their record label’s website, “King wynonna phrasing, and dynamics, often sounding more like a virtuoso jazz of Prussia, while on stage, tend to musician than a singer. As composer and lyricist, Elling has written vacillate between the unruly and the scores of his own compositions and set lyrics to the songs and subdued, engrossing the improvised solos of many jazz masters. This audience and bringing back special performance will also feature UNF’s Kelly Joe Phelps thoughts of Neil Young december 1 award-winning Jazz Ensemble 1. Tickets: $27- saturday (sometimes with Crazy $35, $8/UNF Students UNF Robinson Theater- Horse, sometimes not).” 7:30 pm, Info: (904) 620-2878 Tickets: $5. TSI- 10 pm, Breakfast with Santa Info: (904) 424-3531 Have breakfast with the big guy! There will be three continental nov 29 - Dec 1 breakfast sessions that include bagels, muffins, pastry, fruit, donuts, cereal, coffee and much more. Plus, don’t miss your Wolfson Art and Antique Show Kelly Joe Phelps chance for the children to sit on Santa’s lap to whisper those Sponsored by the The Women’s Board of Wolfson Steve Earle: “Kelly Joe Christmas wishes. “Breakfast With Santa,” price includes Museum Children’s Hospital, this annual event highlights Phelps plays, sings, and admission, $12 for adults; $10 for children 3-12; and $3 for antique furnishings, decorative accessories, fine writes the blues. I’m children 2 and under. Reservations and pre-payment are required; art, collectibles, rugs and jewelry from 50 top talking about a feeling, a space is limited. Please call (904) 396-MOSH, ext. 230. MOSH at antiques dealers from around the country. This smoky, lonesome, painful 8:30, 9:30, and 10:30 a.m. Info: www.themosh.org year’s loan exhibit, Secrets of Silver, will highlight - yet somehow comforting rare silver pieces by a trio of craftsmen known as groove that lets you know The First Coast Invitational the Three Pauls, Paul Storr, Paul DeLamerie and that you are not alone Saturday is the BIG DAY at the First Coast Invitational! In addition to Paul Revere. There will also be a fashion show - even when you’re blue. the Grand Prix Hunter Jumping Event and the Bull Riding blowout, featureing children who are former or persent Play on brother.” the day will be packed with activities for the whole family. Plan on patiens at Wolfson. Prime Osborn Convention Café Eleven, Info: (904) spending the day browsing the selections offered by vendors in the Center, Thur and Fri 11-6 pm and Sat 11-5 pm. 460-9311 Equestrian Shopping Mall. Kids will enjoy the rides on the Midway, Info: (904) 202-2886 or artandantiquesshow. and everyone can test their skills on the mechanical bull. Meet com the on-air personalities from Gator Country and have your dinner southern style, with a great BBQ. Other activities include pony rides, nov 30 - dec 1 Bungee jumping and much more. Jacksonville Equestrian Center- 10 am to 7 pm, Info: firstcoastinvitational.com friday november 30 2007 Dr Pepper ACC Championship Game The 3rd Annual ACC Championship game matches the Atlantic Dinosaur Jr. Wynonna: A Classic Christmas tour Division Champions Boston College vs. Coastal Division The original members of Dinosaur Jr. are back together and are Wynonna has taken her critically acclaimed holiday album on the Champions Virginia Tech. Festivities begin Friday with ACC touring the country in support of their latest record Beyond, an road. Spreading holiday cheer across the country, Wynonna will FanFest, the Coaches and Awards Luncheon and the ACC album nearly two decades in the making. This legendary band combine her powerhouse vocals and tremendous live presence Legends Reception. The fun continues on Saturday with helped shape modern-day rock music and the idea of seeing them in an unforgettable performance. Coupled with some of her pre-game festivities, Pep Rallies, ACC FanFest and a 1 pm perform live in their original line-up has fans salivating. This is biggest hits, Wynonna will deliver soulful renditions of her favorite Championship kick-off at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium. truly a show you do not want to miss. Awesome Color and The traditional holiday songs, which were included on her Top 10 Jacksonville Municipal Stadium, Info: (904) 798-1700 or www. Greenness will also perform. Tickets: $23 Billboard Country album, A Classic Christmas. Tickets: $48.50- theacc.com Freebird Live- 8 pm, Info: (904) 246-BIRD $68.50. Florida Theatre- 8 pm

4 november 29-december 5, 2007, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper wednesday DECEmber 5 First Wednesday Art Walk Celebrates The Holiday Season Santa Claus is coming to Downtown. Bring the kids and your camera to Hemming Plaza from 6-7 pm with their wish list ready. Enjoy the songs of carolers in the park from 7-9 pm. Then swing into the season with the St. Johns River City Band as they present “Yuletide Swing” at 7:30 p.m. in the Hicks Auditorium at the Main Library. Enjoy a sing-along of traditional favorites with Lisa Kelly Scott and tour forty beautifully decorated trees based on beloved books at the “The Festival of Trees,” and sample delectable treats from the Junior League of Jacksonville’s own Toast of the Coast cookbook. At 122 Ocean: The Library see Jacksonville University’s College of Fine Arts’ performances of music, theatre, dance and film. Info: downtownjacksonville.org or (904) 634-0303 ext. 230. 5-9 pm. (Rain or Shine)

All That Remains Having toured with huge acts like Slipknot, Gwar, and Lamb of God, All That Remains is kind of a big deal in the metal scene. Evidence lays with their record sales- their lee boys third studio album surpassed 100,000 units in the US earlier this year. All That Lee Boys Remains performs at the Freebird on Wednesday. Tickets: $15/advance, $20/ The Lee Boys are one of America’s finest African-American sacred steel ensembles. The musical day of show. genre is rooted in Gospel, but infused with rhythm and blues, jazz, rock, funk, hip-hop, country and Freebird Live- 7 pm, Info: (904) 246-BIRD All That Remains ideas from other nations. Influenced by the Hawaiian steel guitar fad of the 1930’s, brothers Willie and Troman Eason brought the electric lap steel guitar into the worship services of the House of God church in Jacksonville. The Pentecostal congregation embraced the soulful sound, and over time this “Keep the Music Alive” Benefit Concert unique sound became the hallmark of the church. The pedal steel guitar was added to the mix and As most already know, the Jacksonville Symphony has locked out its musicians and canceled soon became the central instrument. The Lee Boys are part of the fourth generation of musicians in performances after contract talks broke down in November. To keep these talent musicians afloat this faith. Cafe Eleven - 8:30 pm, Info: (904) 460-9311 during this difficult time, the Jacksonville Symphony Players’ Association will be holding a benefit concert on Wednesday. UNF Ensembles and musicians of the Jacksonville Symphony will perform works by Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Bottesini, Verdi, and John Williams. UNF Lazzara Hall- 7:30 pm, Info: www.jsomusicians.com sunday DECEmber 2 The Acacia Strain Massachusetts metalcore five-piece The Acacia Strain utilize a bone-crushing rhythm section, next thursday november 29 apocalyptic samples, and a unique triple-guitar assault to deliver their signature blend of hardcore, noise, and death and doom metal. Unconcerned with trends, and continually earning street credentials through constant touring, the band promises one of the heaviest live shows imaginable. Despised Icon and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza (Best. Name. Ever.) will also perform. Fuel Coffeehouse- 7 pm, Info: (904) 425-FUEL

Fiction Plane Fiction Plane is a pop-rock band straight out of England with quite a pedigree. The group is fronted by Joe Sumner, the son of Sting himself, and it’s clear he’s picked up some talent from dear old dad. Fiction Plane is currently touring in support of their critically acclaimed third album Left Side of the Brain and will be stopping by Jack Rabbits with guests Separation is Natural and Christina Wagner. Tickets: $10 Jack Rabbits- 8 pm, Info: (904) 398-7496 tuesday DECEmber 4 Nekromantix Nekromantix is one of the premier psychobilly bands in the world- a live juggernaut whose shows and albums are a guaranteed good time. For nearly a decade, the band has traveled the U.S., U.K., Europe and Japan, emerging from the underground to become one of the world’s most successful genre acts. See why this Tuesday when Nekromantix performs with The Koffin Kats, The Chop Tops, and Tape Kat Wreckers. Tickets: $12/advance, $15/day of show Jack Rabbits- 7 pm, Info: (904) 398-7496

The Showdown Fresh off a spot on Ozzfest, The Showdown are now headlining their own tour to bring their metal- with-a-message to all who wish to rock and rock hard. Not sure a Christian band can bring it? With a devastating, three-dimensional live show, complete with witty stage banter, the band is sure to win over the skeptics. The Showdown will share the stage with Sonset Down and Red Letter Bullet. Tickets: $10/ advance, $12/day of show Murray Hill Theatre- 8 pm, Info: (904) 388-7807

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 5 MOVIES OPENING AWAKE A psychological thriller about a com- holiday movie preview mon occurrence called “anesthetic awareness,” a horrifying phenomenon wherein a patient’s (Hayden Christensen) failed anesthesia leaves him by rick grant and jon bosworth fully conscious but physically paralyzed during surgery. The patient’s charming new wife (Jessica With no end in sight for the TV writers’ strike, most shows have shut down and either run out of epi- Alba) is forced to struggle with her own demons tates into a worldwide plague. It has literally wiped- as a terrifying drama unfolds around the couple. sodes or will run out soon, which has forced the networks to run repeats for the foreseeable future. In other out most of humankind, yet Neville is inexplicably Starring: Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba, Ter- words, winter television will suck swamp water unless one is into a full schedule of reality shows. immune. Neville believes he is the last surviving rence Howard, Lena Olin. Rating: R. However, Hollywood is in full production with the holiday movies coming to a theater near you with human on earth. He sends out radio messages every day with no response. But there are surviving people something for every taste. Ah, but the Director’s Guild’s contract will soon come up for renewal as well as Jeff Daniels, Jon Heder, and Diane (severely affected by the virus) who are watching MAMA’S BOY other entertainment union contracts. It could be a long cold winter on the picket lines. Keaton star in director Tim Hamilton’s domestic Neville and waiting for him to screw up. Now, Neville comedy concerning a slacker who finds his Of course, the schlock-y seasonal films like The Perfect Holiday, and Alvin & the Chipmunks are avail- must find a way to use his own blood to reverse the status as man of the house challenged when his able for the people whose brains have been numbed by Christmas hype and too much eggnog. However, effects of the virus on the survivors–or die trying. single mother begins dating a self-help guru. As there are other worthwhile films to look forward to such as Will Smith’s new vehicle, I Am Legend. Tim Bur- Rated R the influence of youth gradually gives way to the ton and Johnny Depp’s next collaboration, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street will be a must wisdom of age, the stage is set for a confrontation The Perfect Holiday A young girl goes see. And, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets starring Nicolas Cage will draw out all the tired hosts and from which only one side can emerge victorious. to a department store to ask for a new husband for Starring: Jon Heder, Diane Keaton, Jeff Daniels, relatives who are itching to get out of the house. Christmas Day will feature another Alien Vs. Predator battle her divorced mother. Of course, Santa sees an op- Anna Faris. Rating: PG-13. in a small town, and the true story, Charlie Wilson’s War, starring Tom Hanks, is also certain to be a holiday portunity to take advantage of the little girl’s wishes hit. by dating her mom. Starring Queen Latifah, Terrence Howard, Gabrielle Union, Morris Chestnut. Rated PG NOW SHOWING Sweeney Todd AMERICAN GANGSTER Based on the life of th drug-kingpin-turned-informant, Frank Lucas, who december 19 grew up in segregated North Carolina. He eventu- Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber ally made his way to Harlem where he became of Fleet Street This is easily the most an- a heroin kingpin by traveling to Asia’s Golden ticipated film of the season. Tim Burton is working Triangle to make connections, shipping heroin with Johnny Depp again in a collaboration between back to the US in the coffins of soldiers killed in filmmaker and star in this film based on the hit Vietnam. He soon made upwards of one million Broadway musical that tells the story of Benjamin dollars a day in drug sales. Lucas was shadowed Barker a.k.a. Sweeney Todd. He sets up a barber by lawman, Richie Roberts, who finally helped shop in London for a sinister partnership with his bring the kingpin to justice. The two then worked fellow tenant, Mrs Lovett. Lovett is, of course, played together to expose the crooked police and foreign by Burton’s sweetheart, Helena Bonham Carter. This nationals who made importing illegal heroin to the gothic musical is sure to be a hit with cult crowds, United States so easy. Starring: Russell Crowe, but Burton’s stylish filmmaking and Depp’s popular- Denzel Washington, Josh Brolin, Common , Ted ity is likely to make it equally as popular with general Levine. Rating: R holiday audiences. Will it be the live-action, adult- rated equivalent of Corpse Bride? Rated R AUGUST RUSH A charismatic young Irish guitar- ist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a sheltered young P.S. I Love You Auteur Richard LaGravenese cellist (Keri Russell) have a chance encounter (Writer of Freedom Writers and Horse Whisperer) one magical night above New York’s Washington spins this dramatic romantic tale about a young wid- Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their ow (Hilary Swank) who discovers that her late hus- wake an infant, orphaned by circumstance. Years band left her 10 messages intended to help ease her later, performing on the streets of New York and pain and start a new life. His letters posthumously cared for by a mysterious stranger (Robin Wil- journeys to the far North to save her best friend and th guide her into the rest of her life with his own humor liams) who gives him the name August Rush, the 30 other kidnapped children from terrible experiments november and inspirational insight. Rated PG-13 child (Freddie Highmore) uses his remarkable by a mysterious organization. Rated PG-13 musical talent to seek the parents from whom he mama’s boy Based on my grandson’s life, a Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story was separated at birth. Rating: PG. 21-year old slacker (Jon Heder) still lives with his Atonement In the summer of 1935, 13-year- mom and has no intention of leaving this sweet old Briony Tallis observes a flirtation between a This is a parody of a fictional rock star’s biopic stars John C. Reilly as singer Dewey Cox. Cox overcomes BEE MOVIE Barry B. Benson is a graduate bee setup. Ah, but his gravy train is threatened when his servant’s son, Robbie (James McAvoy), and her adversity to become a musical legend among peers fresh out of college who is disillusioned at his mother (Diane Keaton) and her boyfriend (Jeff Dan- older sister, Cecilia (Keira Knightley), that she child- such as Elvis, John Lennon and other rock icons. lone career choice: making honey. On a rare trip iels) plan to get married and sonny-boy will have to ishly misconstrues. Briony’s misunderstanding leads Written by Judd Apatow (Superbad and Knocked Up) outside the hive, Barry’s life is saved by Vanessa, move out. Rated PG-13 to a terrible crime whose consequences follow them and directed and co-written by Jake Kasdan (Orange a florist in New York City. As their relationship through World War II. Rated R County) this comedic romp is certain to be the big blossoms, he discovers humans are mass con- th laugher of the holiday season. Rated R sumers of honey and decides to sue the human december 5 th race for stealing bees’ honey. Starring: Jerry december 14 National Treasure: Book of Se- Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Chris Rock, Ray Liotta, juno Written by Hollywood newcomer, Diablo Alvin & the Chipmunks Based on the long- crets Nicolas Cage is back as treasure hunter Mark Moseley. Rating: PG Cody, this quirky comedy featuring Arrested Devel- opment stars Jason Bateman and Michael Cera is running TV cartoon series (1983-1991) about three Franklin Gates who is researching for the truth being touted as the next Little Miss Sunshine. Ellen chipmunk brothers, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. He 4 Page plays Juno MacGuff, offbeat young woman the Chipmunks started off as a comedy Christmas uncovers the mystery within the 18 pages missing facing an unplanned pregnancy who makes an record back in the 70s and hit the small screen from assassin John Wilkes Booth’s diary. Getting the unusual and bizarre decision regarding her unborn after their popularity burgeoned. The singing rodent missing pages proves to be a major task. Rated R child. Rated R siblings were adopted by an easily agitated human named Dave. Their exploits have now gone to the big december 7th screen. Rated PG december 25th I Am Legend Will Smith stars as Robert Neville, the golden compass This fantasy film a brilliant scientist who is trying to find a cure for a The Water Horse: Legend of the is set in a parallel universe. Young Lyra Belacqua mysterious, genetically engineered virus that mu- Deep This is the fantasy tale about a lonely boy

6 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Alvin & the Chipmunks

who discovers a mysterious egg that hatches a weapons to maintain the wink-and-nudge illusion sea creature from a Scottish legend. Eventually, the of American neutrality; and the women – ooh the creature grows too large for the boy to keep and he women. Rated R has to release it in Loch Ness, but when he visits the creature, he rides him like a horse. Rated PG The Great Debaters Produced by Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Productions, this is the story of Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem The ce- Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College Texas. lestial war between the most fearsome creatures in In 1935 he inspired students to form the school’s the universe – Aliens and Predators – ends up in a first debate team, which went on to challenge Har- small town on earth, where unsuspecting residents vard in the national championship. Starring Denzel must band together for any chance of survival. Washington and Forrest Whittaker, Denzel also directed this picture. Since Oprah is behind this film, Charlie Wilson’s War Based on a true you expect it to get even more buzz than Denzel’s story, Tom Hanks stars as Texas congressman Char- last picture, American Gangster. Rated PG-13 lie Wilson, who initiates covert war in Afghanistan to assist the rebels in their war with the Soviets. There Will Be Blood Written and directed “Good-Time Charlie” Wilson, a flawed and fun-lov- by Paul Thomas Anderson (Punch Drunk Love and ing Congressman from the piney woods of East Magnolia) and based on the novel Oil! by Upton Texas, deftly operates the levers of power to funnel Sinclair, this indie fave stars Daniel Day Lewis. It is a money and weapons to the Mujahedin of Afghani- story about family, greed, religion and oil. Daniel Pla- stan following the Soviet invasion of their country inview is a borderline nihilist who doesn’t like people in late 1979. Charlie finds assistance in the oddest and thinks most humans are lazy and ignorant. The of places – a renegade CIA agent whose outsider only reason that he has people in his life is because status and womanizing ways endears him to Wilson; he couldn’t benefit financially if he didn’t. Otherwise a Houston socialite who leads Wilson to the cause; he could care less. It’s all about finding new oil spots the willing Pakistani dictator fascinated by the social- with him, and nothing will get in his way or derail his ite; the Israelis who modify and manufacture Soviet goals. Rated R

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 7 BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD stab at that coveted Oscar. This time around he Master filmmaker Sidney Lumet directs this ab- may just have a shot. sorbing suspense thriller about a family facing Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead takes the worst enemy of all - itself. Oscar-winner Philip the viewer into the crumbling worlds of Andy Seymour Hoffman plays Andy, an overextended (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Hank (Ethan broker who lures his younger brother, Hank (Ethan Hawke), brothers who are desperately seeking a Hawke), into a larcenous scheme: the pair will way out of the holes they’ve dug for themselves. rob a suburban mom-and-pop jewelry store. The Andy’s been living beyond his means for quite problem is, the store owners are Andy and Hank’s some time and has been embezzling money actual mom and pop and, when the seemingly from the company he works for to keep his perfect crime goes awry, the damage lands right trophy wife Gina (Marisa Tomei) in the dark at their doorstep. Oscar-winner Marisa Tomei about their financial woes. It also doesn’t help plays Hoffman’s trophy wife and Albert Finney that the guy is addicted to heroine and coke. His as the family. A classy, classic heist-gone-wrong younger sibling Hank is no better off, the only drama, ‘Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead’ is difference being he can’t hide it. Stuck living smart enough to know that we often have the in a crappy studio apartment after his messy most to fear from those who are near and dear. divorce, Hank can barely feed himself, let alone Rating: R pay child support. When it becomes clear that Andy’s embezzlement is about to be found out, BEOWULF Director Robert Zemeckis and graphic he hatches a plan to rob a mom and pop jewelry novelist Neil Gaiman (the ‘Sandman’ series) store. Knowing his brother is also desperate for team up for this highly anticipated, performance- some quick cash, he bullies Hank into doing the capture adaptation of the Old English epic poem. job. The hitch is the suburban jewelry shop is When the young warrior Beowulf (Ray Winstone) owned by their parents, Charles (Albert Finney) travels to a neighboring kingdom and slays the and Nanette (Rosemary Harris). When the monster Grendel (Crispin Glover), he is hailed as a robbery inevitably goes bad and Nanette is shot, hero. But before long, Beowulf must face an even the sons find themselves spiraling out of control, deadlier foe: Grendel’s mother (Angelina Jolie), hurtling towards a destiny neither saw coming. Director Sidney Lumet with Ethan who seeks vengeance for the loss of her son. The There isn’t really an ounce of humanity Hawke and Philip Seymour Hoffman film also stars Anthony Hopkins as King Hrothgar, in most of the film’s characters, the doomed Robin Wright Penn as Queen Wealtheow and John mother being the only exception. Thankfully this Malkovich as Unferth. Rating: PG-13 isn’t a story about redemption; it’s a story about what happens when everything falls apart, and DAN IN REAL LIFE A widower and father of three a lumet oscar contender these despicable characters implode in a truly who also writes a parenting advice column for captivating, thought-provoking way. Writer Kelly his local newspaper falls for the girlfriend of his Masterson weaves a mean modern-day noir, younger brother during a family vacation in direc- with morally bankrupt characters you loathe and tor Peter Hedges’ offbeat love triangle laugher. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead a bleak look at a world that is described at one Steve Carell stars as the writer who finds his point near the film’s climax as “an evil place.” widely-known convictions put to the ultimate test, by kelliE abraHamSoN KAbrahamson1@aol.com Through clever editing, Lumet makes with Dane Cook and Juliette Binoche respectively Masterson’s fairly straight-forward story assuming the roles of the younger sibling and his A Rated R 117 min. 83-year-old filmmaker has yet to win the coveted mesmerizing by telling it from different radiant girlfriend. Starring: Steve Carell, Juliette Best Director Academy Award. Lumet is not one perspectives in a non-linear timeline. We go Binoche, Dane Cook, John Mahoney. Rating: PG- Sidney Lumet has over 50 films to his to give up easily. His new film, Before the Devil back and fourth in time, picking up pieces of 13. name, many considered masterpieces, but the Knows You’re Dead, is the octogenarian’s latest conversations dropped earlier, finding out where one character went after leaving another the THE DARJEELING LIMITED Three American scene before. The technique forces the viewer brothers who have not spoken to each other in a to pay attention and makes repeated viewings year set off on a train voyage across India with a rewarding. plan to find themselves and bond with each other Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead will -- to become brothers again like they used to be. no doubt get a number of award nominations, Their “spiritual quest”, however, veers rapidly particularly in the acting categories. Not a single off-course (due to events involving over-the- role was miscast and each and every actor is at counter pain killers, Indian cough syrup, and pep- the top of their game here. Hoffman in particular per spray), and they eventually find themselves truly embodies his character, adding far more stranded alone in the middle of the desert with depth and realism to the role than could have eleven suitcases, a printer, and a laminating ma- possibly been in the script. He’s downright chine. At this moment, a new, unplanned journey chilling as Andy and it’s great to see him suddenly begins. Starring: Owen Wilson, Adrien continue to do challenging work. Hawke, who Brody, Jason Schwartzman, Anjelica Huston. has in the past failed to truly impress, makes Rating: R. up for any past missteps with his handling of slightly dim, 100% push-over Hank. The praise ENCHANTED Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) lives goes right on down the line, from Tomei (who in the blissful cartoon world of Andalasia, where dared to bare nearly all for this role and, at magical beings frolic freely and musical interludes 42, puts most 20-somethings to shame in the punctuate every interaction. Though Princess hot bod department) to Finney to the sparsely Giselle is currently engaged to be married to the utilized Harris to the guy walking his dog in the handsome Prince Edward (James Marsden), her background. fate takes a turn for the worse when the villainous While I can’t promise Lumet will take home Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) banishes her his well-deserved Best Director Oscar, I can say to the unforgiving metropolis of New York City. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead should put As the cruelty of the big city soon begins to wear him in the running. After many, many years of down the fairy-tale exterior of the once carefree many, many films, Lumet has proven he still has princess, the frightened Giselle soon finds herself the goods and can keep up with the ever-evolving falling for a friendly but flawed divorce lawyer world of cinema. I sincerely hope he’s amply (Patrick Dempsey) whose kind compassion has rewarded for all of his achievements, including helped her to survive in this strange and danger- this film, and that we see another Lumet very ous new world. Rating: PG soon.

8 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper watching Mama’s Boy, and it’s not completely det- rimental. Other than the fact that Napoleon’s mother FRED CLAUS Dealing with family around the was completely absent, one can imagine Napoleon holidays can suck -- especially when you’re Santa ten or twelve years later, responding to situations in Claus (Paul Giamatti) and your older brother Fred much the same way. Like Napoleon, Jeffrey is self- (Vince Vaughn) is a a newly out-of-jail con artist centered, self-conscious, and ridiculously dorky. He with a penchant for elf-tossing. Rating: PG makes me feel really hip and proud to never have developed my skills with a bowstaff and battle other GONE BABY GONE Two young private detectives chainmail-wearing dorks in the park. Anyway, because are hired to take a closer look at the mysterious of the inadvertent background knowledge, Jeffrey is disappearance of a little girl and soon discover immediately familiar. that nothing is what it seems. Ultimately, they will It occurred to me that the development of have to risk everything -- their relationship, their Jeffrey’s awkward relationship with Nora is similar sanity, and even their lives -- to find a little girl- to Howard Crick’s relationship with Ana Pascal in lost. Starring: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Stranger than Fiction. Realizing that made me wonder: Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman, John Ashton. Rating: If Stranger than Fiction was Will Ferrell’s attempt at R. Punch-Drunk Love, then perhaps Mama’s Boy is Jon Heder’s version of Stranger, but with a less clever HITMAN An international assassin known only as plot. It gets watered down each time, but overall, it’s Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant) carries out high-pro- still endearing. The movie itself cashes in on Nora’s file hits for a mysterious organization known only hipness, as the soundtrack is peppered with music as “The Agency” in this adaptation of the popular she would enjoy, heavily represented by Morrissey Eidos Interactive video-game series. Rating: R and The Smiths. Admittedly, Mama’s Boy is a little trite; the les- INTO THE WILD Based on a true story and the sons are shallow and the plot is…let’s say certified bestselling book by Jon Krakauer. After graduating pre-owned. It offers many lessons that we’ve all heard from Emory University in 1992, top student and more than once: Change is good. Don’t get into a rut. athlete Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch) Get crazy every once in a while. Scarves are preten- abandons his possessions, gives his entire tious unless it’s really cold. Don’t fall for the Bed, Bath $24,000 savings account to charity and hitchhikes she’s got a hold on me & Bullcrapt. to Alaska to live in the wilderness. Along the way, Which brings me to the grade I’ve given this Christopher encounters a series of characters movie. This is not a bad movie, but it does belong in that shape his life. Starring: Emile Hirsch, Vince Mama’s Boy the gigantic pile of “ehh” movies. I can’t give it a bad Vaughn, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt. Rat- grade, because it was mildly entertaining and I de- ing: R tected no major flaws, but essentially, it’s another load forced upon us by the boring sods writing movies in LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA Director Mike by donald dusinberre [email protected] Hollywood. Therefore, I can’t give it an exceptional Newell’s Love in the Time of Cholera details a B- Rated PG13 97 min. hearing a bit of hanky-panky, Jeffrey decides to leave grade either, because I will very likely forget about it passionate love triangle that unfolds in turn-of- After losing his father as a young boy, Jeffrey the house in search of Nora (Anna Faris), his only very soon. the-century South America. It is the story of two Mannus (Jon Heder) developed an unhealthy attach- potential female companion. She’s a naïve yet spunky young lovers who bide their time for years while ment to his mother, causing them both to be locked alterna-chick who is oddly drawn to him, despite anxiously awaiting the day they can finally be into a co-dependent relationship. After many years of his high-maintenance attitude. Together, the unlikely together. Through marriages, affairs, careers, and coddling each other, neither of them is well equipped couple ventures into unfamiliar geographical and emo- deaths, the couple never loses hope that destiny to get out and start new relationships. tional territory. will unite them in the end. Starring: Javier Bardem, Now 29-years old, Jeffrey is still living with his By attempting to preserve one relationship, Jef- Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Benjamin Bratt, Catalina mother and barely hanging on to a job at the book- frey nearly destroys them all. Only after he hits bottom Sandino Moreno. Rating: R store he’s had since high school. He is completely and burns all his bridges does he begin to realize that unwilling to relinquish his hold on his mother, but she relationships are fluid and always changing. Hopefully, LIONS FOR LAMBS In Robert Redford’s new is beginning to show signs of growth. With pressure this movie will teach millions of calculator-watch- film, Cruise’s first drama in six years, he’s a rising from a friend, mother Jan (Diane Keaton) awkwardly wearing citizens how silly they look, but instead, it will senator whose fate collides with those of a report- scores a date with Mert Rosenbloom (Jeff Daniels), a serve as a momentary reminder that relationships are er (Meryl Streep), an idealistic professor (Redford) multi-talented motivational speaker. Their relationship reciprocal arrangements, and you can’t just take what and two Afghanistan-bound students (Derek Luke progresses quickly, making life uncomfortable for you want from people. and Michael Pena). Rating: R Jeffrey. Starring Jon Heder, Diane Keaton, Jeff Daniels Mert is a cheesy man but genuinely very nice, and the oh-so-cute Anna Faris, Mama’s Boy was MICHAEL CLAYTON Michael Clayton (George giving Jeffrey no real reason to hate him. Neverthe- directed by Tim Hamilton, with whose scant previous Clooney) is an in-house “fixer” at one of the larg- less, he tries hard to shake his mother’s affection for work I am wholly unfamiliar. I’m pretty sure Keaton est corporate law firms in New York. A former Mert, and for every attempt, Mert counters flawlessly. and Daniels have appeared in a few pictures over the criminal prosecutor, Clayton takes care of the It’s not long before Mert moves into the house, where years, while Faris was most notably in Waiting… and dirtiest work at the behest of the firm’s co-founder a full-on war develops, with both men struggling the Scary Movie movies. As we all should know by Marty Bach (Sydney Pollack). Though burned for dominance in the household. As a result, we are now, Heder played the title character in Napoleon Dy- out and hardly content with his job as a fixer, his treated to a classic filmmaking technique, the “mon- namite, and gosh, I’ve been trying to shake Napoleon divorce, a failed business venture and mounting tage of pranks.” from Heder’s roles ever since. debt have left Clayton inextricably tied to the firm. After being banished to the basement and over- That’s actually a real issue you might face while At U/North, meanwhile, the career of litigator Karen Crowder (Tilda Swinton) rests on the multi- million dollar settlement of a class action suit that Clayton’s firm is leading to a seemingly success- ful conclusion. R

THE MIST Frequent Stephen King collaborator Frank Darabont teams with the celebrated horror author once again for this tale of a terror based on a story originally published in King’s 1985 horror anthology Skeleton Crew, and concerning a small town engulfed by a malevolent mist. When a thick fog descends upon a typical suburban community and claims the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught outside, a small band of survivors

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 9 seeks refuge in a local grocery store. Now trapped in a darkened cloud of pure horror, the frightened denizens of the town are forced to fend off an advancing horde of murderous monsters. Punisher star Thomas Jane heads up an ensemble cast that includes Andre Braugher and Laurie Holden. Rating: R

MR. MAGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM What’s a 243-year-old, madcap inventor (Dustin Hoffman) have to do to keep his magical toy shop in business? Enlisting an enthusiastic young man- ager (Natalie Portman) is a good start, but there’s still a stuffy accountant (Jason Bateman) trying to rain on their magic parade. Even so, our money’s on the 243-year-old. Rating: G

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN The story begins when Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) finds a pickup truck surrounded by a sentry of dead men. A load of heroin and two million dollars in cash are still in the back. When Moss takes the money, he sets off a chain reaction of catastrophic violence that not even the law - in the person of aging, disillusioned Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) - can contain. As Moss tries to evade his pursuers - in particular a mysterious mastermind who flips coins for human lives (Javier Bardem). Rating: R

THIS CHRISTMAS This year, Christmas with the Whitfields promises to be one they will never for- get. All the siblings have come home for the first time in years and they’ve brought plenty of bag- gage with them. As the Christmas tree is trimmed and the lights are hung, secrets are revealed and family bonds are tested. As their lives converge, they join together and help each other discover the true meaning of family. Starring: Laz Alonzo, Chris Brown, Columbus Short, Mekhi Phifer. Rat- born to kill ing: PG-13 SPECIAL SHOWINGS Hitman MOCA Underground On Wed., Dec.5, THE BIG ANIMAL will be screened. The eponymous “big by Rick grant [email protected] animal” of this parable is a dromedary that a Pol- ish bank clerk discovers one morning outside of B- Rated R 100 min Kurylenka), who gets naked for him; he tosses her his kitchen window. The man and his wife both aside (idiot). Banging this French beauty who threw succumb to the creature’s charms, but its pres- This is yet another video game to feature film herself at him was not on his agenda. This scenario ence provokes the anger of their greedy neigh- adaptation to attract the gamer minions to the movie is not about romance or sex, it’s about glorious bors. Info: 366-6911or mocajacksonville.org. theaters. These CGI-generated action films also gratuitous violence and intrigue. In fact, Agent 47 is draw non-gamer-action-junkies. In movies like 300 himself the victim of a political conspiracy, which FIRETRAIL Based on the novel of the same title and Beowulf, the fusion of CGI and live action is so leads him into a trap by an Interpol inspector hot by Lydia Hawke. The novel Firetrail, is set during seamless, it’s hard to tell the difference, but this on his trail. Meanwhile, Agent 47 trudges through the last few weeks of the War Between the States looks more like CGI animation. Eastern Europe terminating a gaggle of Euro-trash on during Sherman’s march through the Carolinas. Fusing the video game reality with movies is a his paid mission to assassinate the current Russian The movie Firetrail, directed by Forbesfilm, is a whole new genre of filmmaking that uses live actors president. 3-hour romantic adventure epic. Orange Park melded with CGI effects. In this adaptation, directed Everywhere Agent 47 moves the body count Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Rd., Orange by Xavier Gens and produced by Luc Besson, goes up. The frustrated Interpol inspector is always Park, Fri, Nov 30 and Sat, Dec 1 at 7 pm and Sun, Timothy Olyphant portrays the mysterious Agent one step behind him. The Russian Secret Police Dec 2 at 3 pm. Tickets: $5.00, Reservations are 47–trained from birth to adulthood to be an assassin want to claim jurisdiction but the Interpol inspector suggested. Call (904) 272-0726. by a secret society independent of any governments’ holds his ground. He’s been tracking Agent 47 for intelligence services. However, when the Agency’s two years across Europe. But this ghost is among a Midnight Movies HEIMA This is Sigur Rós’s (as it is called) mission coincides with he CIA or group of elite assassins on various missions. These first film, filmed over two weeks last summer MI5, then the Agency’s assassins are shadowed and guys are serious killers trained in numerous martial when the band undertook a series of free, unan- protected by the interested parties. It’s the old “the arts and weapons. They move in a shadowy world of nounced concerts in Iceland. Dec 7 and 8 at enemy of my enemy is my friend” philosophy. invisibility–off the grid. 11:55 pm at the San Marco Theatre. Info: 396- In this scenario, although Xavier Gens is Of course, viewers wonder why Agent 47 4845 or sanmarcotheatre.com. credited as the director, producer Luc Besson’s (La has a bar-code tattooed on the back of his head? Femme Nikita, The Professional) ultra violent, gritty It’s dead giveaway to his identity. And we wonder style is stamped on every frame. Olyphant, who was about the organization called the Agency. What is last seen in Deadwood, brings a mesmerizing inten- their agenda? Why do they exist? Are they simply sity to this character, more like the Terminator than Murder Incorporated? Never mind that, this is a ride James Bond, as he dispatches anyone who gets in on the violent express. We become the assassin as his way with an array of silenced handguns, assault he travels into the sleazy corners of Europe where rifles, and explosives. international criminal syndicates war with each other Nothing can distract Agent 47 from his mis- over territory and Russian Mafia thugs expand their sion, he was bred since birth for this sort of action. influence. Call in an Agency hit man to eliminate the Not even a sexy young woman, Nika Boronina (Olga competition or score a political victory.

10 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper coen brothers go too fargo No Country For Old Men by Rick grant [email protected] A- Rated R 122 min carefully setup scene with parable-like dialogue and unusual outcomes. Anton is a relentless killer that Tommy Lee Jones plays Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, operates under certain rules that govern which in- whose jurisdiction includes several Texas towns nocent people he kills. In a store, he flips a coin and around El Paso near the Mexican border in this dark- asks the owner to call it. He says “for what?” Anton ly satirical Coen Brothers adaptation of Cormac Mc- retorts, “for everything.” Lucky for him, the store Carthy’s novel. Sheriff Bell’s career spans his adult owner wins the toss and is not killed. Clearly, Anton lifetime patrolling this territory around the Mexican can kill anyone without feeling remorse or pangs of border near El Paso, Texas. He suffers from career conscience, defining him as a socioopath. However, burnout–a malaise caused by seeing crime escalate he’s a brilliant tracker of humans and he knows how from when his predecessor didn’t even carry a gun to survive in the wild or in the city. Llewelyn goes to to today’s ruthless drug and human smuggling rack- great lengths to escape Anton’s net. Ah, but Anton ets. These bandits kill each other at alarming rates. will not stop until he has that money. Even if Llewe- Sheriff Bell has seen so much senseless slaughter lyn gives Anton the money, the killer will likely kill he can’t cope with it anymore. Llewelyn’s wife, dog and any other family members, Although Sheriff Bell is tired and ready to retire, just for the inconvenience. there is another big shoot-out in the dessert involv- Chameleon actor Javier Bardem created a ing rival drug gangs. The massacre leaves a pile of memorable villain in this Coen Brothers script. His bloody dead bodies and pickup trucks strewn around ability to adapt to changing situations as he hunts- a remote desert site. Then, to exacerbate the situ- down his prey makes him a very dangerous man. ation, a lowlife drifter out hunting, Llewelyn Moss As with other Coen Brothers’ films, the sibling film- (Josh Brolin), stumbles on the massacre site and makers artistically use silence to build suspense. In discovers the dope money–over a million dollars in this scenario, like in Fargo, these silent sequences a satchel. He takes it back to his trailer, knowing that underscore the bleak cruel wilderness in which only the pickup truck that he had to leave in the desert men like Anton and Llewellyn can survive, until one will lead the owner of the cash to him. So he devises loses this duel to the death. a plan to split with the loot to Mexico. Likewise, the Coens use gaps in the action to Meanwhile, psychotic killer Anton Chigurh (Ja- drive home the violent scenes. It’s what you don’t vier Bardem) will not stop until he kills Llewelyn and see and your imagination paints for you that is more retrieves the money. Carrying a silenced sawed off effective than actually seeing the character die. The shotgun and a pneumatic nail gun used to kill cattle, Coens use this technique and their other off-kilter Anton is cunning, and operates off the grid under his tricks effectively, creating their unique brand of sto- own twisted principles. Unbeknownst to Llewelyn, rytelling, which savvy lovers of quality cinema have Anton has placed a homing device inside the stacks come to appreciate from these consummate film- of bills. His receiver will lead him to the drug money makers. thief who stands no chance with this determined No Country for Old Men gives us back the hitman on his trail. Coen brothers’ films that we love, like Fargo, Barton The picture has the Coen Brothers trademark Fink, and Oh Brother Where Art Thou, rather than the stamp of plodding pacing and colorful characteriza- less engaging films they piddled with in the interim, tions. One could say that No Country is Fargo with such as The Ladykillers and Intolerable Cruelty. Wel- bullets. The Coens’ subtle dark humor injects each come back, gentlemen, welcome back.

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 11 netscapades by brenton crozier Every so often I am lucky enough to stumble upon a website that is not only funny, but truly brilliant. Now that the Internet is so accessible and made for anyone to sign up and start blogging or working from a templated means, it is easy to overlook the artistry that goes into web design. Websites are sometimes aesthetic flash feats, but lack in usability. Other websites are a little too on the homegrown side, lack any visual appeal, and offer little enticement to stay and have a click or two. I was looking for a website to feature and somehow landed in a Web Awards type of site that bestowed accolades to a wide range of sites in a wide array of categories. This is where I found TBS’s Humor Study website. This site is visually stimulating, simple to use (your participation is encouraged) and hilarious on every level. Let John Cleese guide you through the numerous ele- ments of the Department of Humor Analysis, which aims to provide a “Comprehensive study of humor and humorousness.”

tbshumorstudy.com/main.html

There are a number of things to do once you enter the Department of Humor Analysis. Start by taking the survey. The information you provide will “help shape the funny of the future.” You may be asked which two mascots would be funniest to see fight. You get to choose from a snowman, a bunny and a purple thing and then choose a location for the pugilism. Once you have made your selection, you actually get to see the fight take place! It then asks you to choose the funniest scenario. You are also asked to design the funniest iced-out custom name belt or necklace. After a series of 7 questions, John Cleese thanks you for your participation and the results are sent to the humor laboratory. The humor lab is full of engaging activities and videos. Every single funny short is worth watching. One of the videos is about how scientists are hypothesizing that the part of our brain that finds monkeys funny is shrinking and that squirrels are the new funny animal. All of these shorts are nothing less than brilliant. Fun with Puns allows you to choose a pun and see if it is funny after being translated into multiple languages. Insert your favorite pun here. Create a Sitcom allows you to choose an element from a drop down selection starting with the types of characters. The next drop down gives you a “Living With” selection and then the last drop down is “Living In.” My sitcom starred Biblical Characters with A Nose for Trouble living in Cumberland, MD. It was pretty funny. The Wallpaper Generator is uber fantastic. Choose your background then throw some objects on there. You can pick God, a snowman, a horse riding a horse and so much more. It’s all pretty random, and all uproarious. In the About the Department portion of the site, watch the video about the staff. Once again hosted by John Clesse, the video covers the tools used by the department of humor and their mission. This website is at least as funny as anything on TBS, if not a little more (although Seinfeld and Family Guy reruns always make me chuckle). This site is refreshingly genius and harkens to the humor stylings of everything from Monty Python (obviously) and good Saturday Night Live to the dead pan hilarity found on a weekly basis in The Office. It usually takes me two websites to get my word count, but this one was enough! This site could pos- sibly start a new interactive web culture for humorists and comedy fans alike.

12 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper videogames by Norm stovall [email protected] Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles For Nintendo Wii

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles kind of surprised me with how fun it is to play. While not your typical Resident Evil game, it still retains the campy yet spooky atmosphere and the well-designed graphics that the series is known for. With Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, you are given the chance to play through various key events in the overall RE storylines that involve the Umbrella Corpo- ration. It doesn’t include ALL of them, but the game does share a good bit of the story that you may have missed before, and a lot of gaps are filled as well. As for the game itself, it’s quite a departure from the previous games. In this game, you use the Wii Remote (or Wii Zapper) to move the targeting reticle around on the screen, aiming your firearm or weapon. To shoot, you pull the trigger or B button on the bottom of the remote. Although hitting your targets is a little tricky at first, once you get the hang of it, it becomes a lot of fun. You can pick up items with the A-button when prompted, and you can switch weapons on the fly with the directional pad. To move your point of view, you can use the joystick on the nunchuck. Although you don’t re- ally need to move your head around to see very often, it does come in handy upon occasion. When it comes to controlling the movement of your character, you don’t. The game runs entirely on rails, which means the game progresses constantly, save the few instances where you have to smash open a door. It might seem a bit slow at first, but after a few levels you get used to the pacing and can really focus on mastering your tech- nique. Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles is nothing revolutionary or amazing, but fans of the series will surely want to pick this title up, if for nothing else, to experience the back-story behind all of those enigmatic characters that make Resident Evil so interesting. Rock Band For Xbox 360, Playstation 3

So now that most of us have gotten our feet wet with Guitar Hero, developer Harmonix has decided to take the formula they created one step further. With Rock Band, not only do you take control of the guitar playing as you would with Guitar Hero, you also control the Vocals, the drums and the bass lines. (Although not all at the same time – bring a friend, please.) Some people may be a bit skeptical about this, as they should be. I mean, it’s one thing to rock out with a toy guitar in front of your TV, but get- ting a group of friends to rock out with you is another story. The thing is; playing Rock Band is a lot of fun. With TONS of hit rock songs to play through and more promised to come in the near future via digital download, it’s hard not to recommend checking this title out. If you are a fan of music and have friends to invite along, you’re all set. Playing Rock Band should be somewhat familiar to those of you who have played Guitar Hero, though the addition of drums and vocals do make the game more of a team dynamic to master. Along the top of the screen you’ll see a scrolling karaoke-style text box with indicators on when to sing high, when to sing low, and when to trail off. On the center of the screen, the drumbeats are displayed scrolling downward toward you. Once the note hits the bar at the bottom, just smack the indicated drum with the drumstick. It’s pretty easy in theory, but a little more difficult in practice. As for the guitar parts, you can play just as you would in Guitar Hero, hitting the notes scrolling toward you by holding the corresponding button on the fret of the guitar controller and strum- ming down on the strum bar. Since the boxed set only comes with one guitar, you might be glad to know that the Guitar Hero controller also works with this game, but only with the Xbox 360 version. If you need a bass player, this will come in handy, as they are currently not selling guitar peripherals outside of the boxed set, and at 180 bucks a pop, you can’t really make good use of two of everything else. In regards to how well the game actually works, people all over the place are ranting and raving about how much fun the game is to play with friends. As a matter of fact, that is almost all they are raving about. It should be known that Rock Band, as played solo, is nowhere near as rewarding as it is with a group of friends. Additionally, online play seems a bit stunted, as there is no option for co-op career mode. Having said all this, I still think Rock Band is worth the entry price, unless you absolutely do not have friends that will play with you. For these people, I would suggest getting Guitar Hero 3, as the single player reward factor and online multiplayer features are better suited for going solo, even though the game itself isn’t limited to that. Plus, you don’t have to hear yourself sing.

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 13 the person who spends the most time in the kitchen something they’ll really enjoy. A new kitchen is also per- fect for a young couple that recently purchased a home. For an affordable kitchen, personal service and excellent quality, Jax Bargain Plywood is one of the most cost-effective places to go to get a new kitchen. Matt Geary, Director of Operations at Jax Bargain Plywood, cautions men who are shopping for women against picking out the refurbishments themselves, recommending gift certificates instead. “She deserves it, especially if she’s the one that primarily does the cooking. It needs to be what she wants. The woman needs to make the call,” says Geary. Plus if you put in materials that the lady doesn’t like, even if the man does all the cooking, you’ll never live it down. For more info go to jaxbargain.com.

piano

Just like the rest of the year, Piano emporiums such as Piano Expo have payment plans. From small uprights and baby grands to grand pia- nos, they’ve got everything you’d need. Costs range from about $2500 and up. Folks often buy pianos as a surprise gift for the whole family. Piano Expo can also deliver on Christmas Eve or Christmas for an extra fee. Visit Piano Expo at 4160 Southside Blvd. or call 642-1136.

a new house

Okay, so buying someone a house for Christmas is a little extreme. Plus people like to pick these things out for themselves. But you can start an account in someone’s name. Sonny Downey of Exit Realty says that anyone can start an account for a start-up fee of just $39. The gift ideas fee takes care of the administrative fees and the personalized website that Exit will set up for you. “In 1996 the FHA enacted a program…a mortgage registry…it’s just basically a savings plan you…or loved ones can make contributions to,” says Downey When the first day of school or work rolls around after the holiday, the second If you’re saving for a house and you’d prefer cash instead of goodies for the holidays, you can start an account yourself. Exit Realty will actually send out cards with the info about donating to your account to des- question (after the obligatory “how was your holiday?”) is “What did you get?” No one wants ignated friends and relatives. That way, you never have to ask. Go to realtyregistry.com for more info. to list off the socks and nose hair clippers, so people usually succinctly reply with either the most expensive gift they got or the most impactual. For those interested in the most expensive gift, we have some truly terrific big gift charitable gifts by kellie abrahamson ideas, like how to help someone buy their new home, or how to give their current home a The holidays are a time of giving and most people do just that in spades. This year shoppers plan on facelift. Next week we will guide you through the wonderful world of high tech gifts, including spending an average of $859 according to American Research Group, Inc. While that number is down from last year’s, it’s still a lot of green for most folks. With that much money heading to the pockets of retailers, game systems, advice on buying the best television and how to navigate those big box stores. it’s difficult for the average Joe to earmark some funds to go toward charitable causes. Thankfully, many For those less interested in material possessions, we’ve also outlined some charitable charities have found ways for people to give a cool gift and help a good cause at the same time. gift ideas to give back. You may just be interested in fulfilling your White Elephant obligations at work, and for you we have included some great gag gift ideas. For those in between (and gifts for a cause maybe a little underpaid) there are also some good alternatives at area thrift stores. We just celebrated Breast Cancer Awareness month in October so the cause is still fresh in most of our To help you navigate your little (sic) letters to Santa, we’ve found the best of the best minds. For the past 13 years Susan G. Komen for the Cure and Ford have teamed up for the Warriors in Pink campaign. Through their website (shopwarriorsinpink.com), you can purchase all kinds of pink Warrior gear. and provided some insider tips on how to make the most of your shopping experience. The site has everything from shirts to hats to scarves (my personal favorite). They even have a limited edition customized Warriors in Pink 30GB Zune. Best of all 100% of the net proceeds goes to Komen for the Cure. From pink to RED, (PRODUCT)RED is an incredibly popular “business model” (their words) that allows people to buy products or services that will in turn help buy and distribute anti-retroviral medicine to people in Africa dying of AIDS. The Gap has really embraced the project, but other companies like Converse, Apple by erin thursby and even Emporio Armani have RED products available. These items are sold at no additional cost to you, so big gifts there’s no reason to buy a regular iPod when you can buy a RED one and help save a life. Invisible Children is a non-profit organization whose goal is to spread awareness about the unending war in Northern Uganda, where rebel forces abducted children and made them soldiers. A temporary truce There are gifts you just can’t fit under the tree, big gifts that will make somebody’s holiday really special. has been in effect since 2003 but the kids who lived through this atrocity still need help. Half of Invisible Children’s programming budget to bring awareness to the issue while the rest goes toward educational programs to help the affected families. Through invisiblechildren.com, you can purchase cool shirts, unique buying a car as a gift bracelets, and DVDs to bring awareness to this great cause and the plight of these kids. Of course there are a wide variety of wonderful causes that have merchandise available. If you don’t see If you’re in the market for a new car, December is a great time to buy, since there are fewer customers your favorite organizations listed here, head to the web and find their sites. Chances are they all have T-shirts, on the lot and dealers want to sell ’07 models before the end of ’07. jewelry and other goodies perfect for putting under the tree. According to carbuyingtips.com: “Everyone is out buying XMAS gifts, leaving new car dealer lots void of customers, motivating dealers to cut prices, and break year end sales records.” While new cars have a little more panache than used, take a look at the used car market during the charitable shopping holidays. You can get lower prices than you might expect around the holidays, especially from private owners. Many private sellers are looking for extra holiday cash, so they end up accepting a lower price than they nor- There are some organizations that don’t necessarily provide “stuff,” but they do provide an opportunity mally would. Christmas is a great time to buy that first car for your teen. You’ll want to check craigslist.com, to buy “stuff” and help a worthy cause at the same time. This Friday Prudential Network Realty’s San Marco autotrader.com and the local newspapers. office is hosting a special shopping event to raise money for the Children’s Home Society. For just $50, guests will go to various stores in San Marco square to pick up goodies for everyone on their list. Each venue will provide refreshments and goodie bag items and they all will donate 20% of the proceeds of the purchases all new kitchen or bathroom to the Children’s Home Society. Additionally, shoppers can have their items gift-wrapped and delivered. The day ends with an upscale lunch at Matthew’s Restaurant. For more information please call (904) 739-0717. Refurbishing or replacing kitchen cabinets and countertops, which is the best way to give an old kitchen a face lift, can cost the average homeowner anywhere from $2,000 and up. When jewelry just won’t do, give (continued on page 16) 4

14 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper of the Magi at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre at Feast of the Carols with the UNF Chorale select times through January 6th. 1340 A1A South, Sing in the season with UNF’s 2nd annual Feast of Info: 904-471-1965 or staugamphitheatre.com. holiday events Carols. Featuring ensembles from the Jacksonville Children’s Chorus and area schools and churches, St. Augustine 53rd Annual Christmas Parade as well as the UNF Chorale and Chamber Singers, The 51st Annual Christmas Parade has grown to (part one – to be continued next week) go home humming your favorite holiday tunes. The be one of the largest parades in North Florida. Jazz concert is free and open to the public. Dec 1 at the up the morning as local jazz musicians play Christ- MOSH’s Annual Wreath Auction will provide refreshments for guests and special Lazarra Performance Hall at UNF at 2 pm and 8 pm. mas Holiday from 9 am to 10 am. The parade will Looking for that perfect touch to welcome visitors goodie bag items. Fri, Nov. 30 from 9 am to 2 pm. Info: (904) 346-1636 or jaxchildrenschorus.com start promptly at 10 am by the Mission of Nombre to your door? Bid on festive holiday wreaths of all Cost: $50/person. 1936 San Marco Blvd. Info: de Dios and will continue through the downtown kinds during the Annual Wreath Auction. Through (904) 739-0717 First Coast Wind Ensemble: Holiday Concert streets of historic St. Augustine and end behind the Dec 18 during museum hours at MOSH, Info: Celebrate the season with the FCWE and special Visitors Center on Castillo Dr. Then following the 396-MOSH t’s A Wonderful Life guests, the Don Thompson Chorale, in this popular parade, the band continues while Santa jazzes it up Thomas M. Sharkey did a wonderful thing when he annual concert of holiday favorites! Dec 6 at 7:30 with photo-ops from noon to 2 pm on Dec 1. Info: Fogle Fine Art Holiday Show took one of America’s favorite holiday film classics pm in the Terry Concert Hall. (904) 501-6153. Be unique! Visit Fogle Fine Art & Accessories and wrote this touching and heartfelt play. Capra annual holiday show for inspirational decorating would be proud! Players by the Sea, November 30, First Coast Winter Lights in Clay County St Augustine Beach Surf Illumination ideas. Displays feature trees, ornaments and other December 1,2,7,8,9,14,15. Info: (904) 249-0289 A drive-thru light display, ice skating, drive in movies The Surf Illumination complements the seasonal festive accessories. Located at 3312 Beach Blvd, and more at the Reynolds Park Yacht Center in Green lighting of A1A Beach Boulevard. The event at M-F 10-6, Sat 10-4, Info: foglefineart.com. Breakfast with Santa Cove Springs through January 1. the St. Johns County Pier and Pavilion includes Have breakfast with the big guy and don’t miss the ceremonial lighting of the seasonal tree by the 2007 Gingerbread House Extravaganza your chance for the children to sit on Santa’s lap St. Augustine Nights of Lights Mayor. Food and beverages are offered by local This special holiday event features a gingerbread and whisper those Christmas wishes. “Breakfast More than two million tiny white lights will glow restaurants and many local arts and crafts ven- village that includes versions of Jacksonville land- with Santa” includes Museum admission. Dec 1 along the ancient streets and historic buildings of dors provide convenient shopping for the holiday marks. Tickets are $2 – 5 donations benefiting the at MOSH at 8:30, 9:30, and 10:30 a.m.. $12 for the Nation’s oldest city as the 14th Annual Nights of season. Santa, musical performers and traditional Ronald McDonald House, HabiJax and other local adults; $10 for children 3-12; and $3 for children Lights celebration sparkles to life in Downtown St. carolers make it fun for all! Dec 1. Info: staugb- charities. Jacksonville Historical Society, 317 A. 2 and under. Reservations and pre-payment Augustine through Jan. 31. chcivicassoc.com, or (904) 471-1686. Philip Randolph Blvd from 11am to 6pm. Info: required. Please call 396-MOSH, ext. 230. Info: 739-000 ext. 116 or www.rotarycharity.org www.themosh.org St. Augustine Winter Wonderland St. Augustine Grande Illumination Slide into a Winter Wonderland at the St. Augustine Carry a candle and follow the torchlight parade Limelight Theatre: Santaland Diaries Special Holiday Shopping Event Just for Educa- Amphitheatre and test your skills on a large ice skat- from the Government House around the Old City From the humiliating interviews and elf indoctrina- tors! ing rink while it really snows, visit the elf village and and back to the Plaza to hear the governor’s proc- tion to scrapes with miscast Santas and obnox- Barnes & Noble stores nationwide celebrate see Santa Claus himself! Enjoy sleigh rides through lamation, watch soldiers fire their muskets in salute ious customers, enjoy David Sedaris’ account of educators with a special holiday shopping event. lit nature trails, holiday shopping, children’s story- to the season. The Grande Illumination Ceremony being a Macy’s elf as performed by local actor Ian Save 20% on all your holiday purchases. Contact book readings, s’mores on an open fire and Theatre takes place on Dec 1 at 8 pm at Plaza de la Consti- Mairs at Limelight Theatre’s New Studio Theatre, your local store for details on event hours, special St. Augustine’s performance of O. Henry’s The Gift tucion. Info: (904) 819-2629 Nov. 29 –Dec. 8, 2007. Info: (904) 825-1164 activities, treats, and giveaways! Dec 1 from 9 am – Noon. Info: (904) 886-9904 Christmas Choral Concert “A Christmas Gift of Choral Music” Candlelight, Mayor’s Holiday Festival for Senior Citizens carols, motets, anthems and plain good cheer Holiday dining, dancing, and entertainment for has always been the reason this annual traditional Seniors at the Prime Osborn on Dec 1 musical celebration has a full house. Terry Con- from 2-5 pm. Info: (904) 630-7392 cert Hall- Nov 29 at 7:30 pm Kuhn’s Holiday Open House Bobby Horton: Songs from a Christmas Gather- See their famed holiday window display and cel- ing - 1880 ebrate the season by visiting Jolly Old St. Nick at Musician, songwriter and performer Bobby Hor- Kuhn’s holiday party. Guests will receive a compli- ton returns with his holiday songs and stories mentary picture taken with Santa, sample holiday from a Christmas past. Sing old-fashion Christ- food and drink and special savings on a wide array mas carols and enjoy holiday refreshments and of gifts. Dec 1 from 11 am - 2 pm at Kuhn Flow- Southern sweets served by costumed hosts. ers, 3802 Beach Boulevard. Info: 904-398-8601 Thrasher-Horne Center, Fri, Nov 30 and Sat, Dec or visit www.kuhnflowers.com 1 at 7:30 pm., Sun, Dec 2 at 3 pm. Tickets: $15, Info: (904) 276-6750 “A Home for the Holidays” Pet Adoption Fair Animal rescue groups from all over the First Coast Christmas Carole region will bring a wide variety of cats and dogs See the Alhambra version of this old favorite. for Christmas adoption to the south end of the Whether you celebrate Christmas, or just like a main parking lot area at the Jacksonville Zoo and good (and hilarious) ghost story, Christmas Car- Gardens. There is no fee to come to the event ole is fun for the entire family. Tickets: $39-46, and there will be drawings for prizes, a visit from includes dinner and show. Nov 30 - Dec 23 with Jazoo, face painting by Jax4kids.com and a free children’s matinees on Nov. 29 and December child’s ticket to the Zoo for each person who 4, 5, 6, 12 and 13 at 10 am. Tickets: $19.50 + adopts a pet. December 1 from 10 am - 4 pm. $1.50 gratuity includes lunch buffet. Alhambra Info: jaxzoo.org Dinner Theatre Info: (904) 641-1212 or 1-800- 688-7469 or alhambradinnertheatre.com. Eighth Annual Winter Celebration in Mandarin This free event is sponsored by the Mandarin Shopping for the Children’s Home Society Museum & Historical Society. Activities include: Prudential Network Realty’s San Marco office is music, hayrides, rides on the putt-putt train, visits hosting a special shopping event to raise money with Santa, games and nature crafts, nature exhib- for the Children’s Home Society. The holiday its and making Victorian ornaments and s’mores. extravaganza will provide an upscale shopping The 1875 farmhouse will be open for tours all experience through chic San Marco stores com- day. Dec 1 at Walter Jones Historical Park, 11964 plete with refreshments, gift-wrap and delivery Mandarin Road, from 11 am - 4 pm. Info: (904) service and lunch at Matthew’s Restaurant. Stores 268-0784 or mandarinmuseum.net.

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 15 Palencia Holiday Showhomes will not only give you a lot of great decorating ideas, it will also give you a chance to shop for loved ones while helping four different charities. Tour four furnished model homes, all decorated for the holidays by the area’s most popular decorators and designers, free of charge. Then head over to the garages to shop for a unique gift. Proceeds from your purchases will benefit the Humane Society, Builders Care, the St. Francis Shelter, and Trinity Rescue. Donations such as cash, new unwrapped toys, or non-perishable food items will be collected for all four charities as well.

helping others

Still feel like doing more? The Salvation Army’s annual Angel Tree project benefits more than 13,500 children in Northeast Florida each holiday season. Simply track down an Angel Tree, choose an “Angel,” and fill up the accompanying bag with new toys, clothes and other gifts. Be sure to return your Angel Tree gifts to one of the official drop-off locations by December 8th. There are plenty of other gift drives taking place all around the city. The Jacksonville Association of Firefighters and the Junior League of Jacksonville are collecting gifts for local foster children and Family Support Services of North Florida. To learn more visit fssjax.org or call (904) 421-5800. Adventure Landing’s Teddy Bear Toy Drive is another great option. For every stuffed animal purchased from Adventure Landing’s Teddy Bear Factory, Adventure Landing will donate a brand new stuffed animal to Toys for Tots. Barnes & Noble stores in Mandarin, Regency and the St. Johns Town Center are currently hosting a book drive benefiting Wolfson’s Children’s Hospital. All books will be personally delivered and placed in one of the hospital’s eight libraries and into the hands of children in need. Finally, most local charities and organizations wish for one thing this Christmas: the gift of your time. Choose a cause you believe in and inquire about volunteering for an afternoon or a weekend. You’ll be amazed at how much a couple of hours of work can make a difference.

from seejanework.com

online gifts by hilary johnson

Holiday shopping. Probably everyone’s favorite thing to do in the entire world. Not. That isn’t to say that giving gifts to the people we love isn’t the best feeling ever. We love seeing their joyous faces upon gift opening, or at least the awkward grins from a gift unappreciated. Some way or another there is a kind of joy in gift giving. But the holidays… the lines, the cars, the people, the picked-over selections, or the fighting for the last item on the shelf (okay, that’s never happened to me, but it totally could); it’s a nightmare, plain and simple. In fact, they should just make holiday shopping an extension of Halloween for all the terrors it can bring. It practically already is, with the holidays coming earlier and earlier each year. Next year they will probably come mid-September, making this Halloween shopping spree a little more in season. from winknyc.com But there is a solution. For all you people who grind your teeth against the mayhem. For all those who don’t find the merry Christmas lights and holiday cheer so cheery, there is a solu- tion. The Internet.

16 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper from shopbop.com

Online shopping. Sure, we’ve all been warned against its trials and tribulations. Back orders, credit card fraud, will it fit, won’t it fit? Will it actually be as big as it looks on the screen or will it be made of plastic instead of silver? I mean, sure, there are some questions and some insecurities that come with online shop- ping, but hey, nothing is perfect. At least it’s not the mall. There are your obvious choices. EBay.com, what everyone thinks of when they think of online shopping, has new and used electronics, cars, apparel, collectibles, sporting goods and more at low prices. That’s what they advertise. For novice eBay-ers the experience can be somewhat daunting. How to bid? When to bid? How much is some- thing really worth? Well, the truth is, bid late, bid low, and it’s only worth as little as you can get it for. That’s the beauty of eBay. That, and you can find just about anything on there. Literally. Someone once sold the highest bidders name written in pee in the snow. People actually bid on that. Someone actually paid someone else to write their name in pee in the snow. Overstock.com is another great obvious source. You know, the catchy com- from greenergrassdesigns.com mercials with the big O’s all over the place. They sell mostly store-related items, like home furnishings and décor, clothing, jewel- ry, electronics. The kinds of things you might actually find and purchase from the mall, but without the hassle! And, as an added bonus, they come at discounted prices. Hence the overstock bit. It’s all the stuff they had too much of, so you can get it for cheap(er). Bluefly.com is another mallish type website, but this time it’s a little more upscale. Focusing on high end, name brand designers, Bluefly is a great source for marked down Prada, Gucci, Dolce and Gabana, Fendi, and the likes. For anything from Kashmere gloves to Coach handbags to a glamourous pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos, this is your (virtual) place. If boutique shopping is the name of your… game, then shopbop.com is a great website to stroll through. It offers over a hundred different top, name-brand, boutique designer fashions, from shoes to clothes to accessories. If you are looking for something funky, or a little high end, but that can’t be found on the rack at your local department store, this is a great virtual visit! The chances are, in order to find these kinds of items, you would have to look online anyway. Shopbop is your one- stop shop for anything boutique. If your loved one is slightly disorganized, or their office needs a little flare, then make sure to check out the website seejanework.com. Revolving around a fictional character, Jane, this site offers today’s woman everything her office or work life could ever desire. From funky mouse pads to feng shui diffusers (delicious scented oils), this site promotes workable function through remarkable fashions. (continued on page 18) 4 from bluefly.com eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 17 If you’re feeling creative and if you like an photo and one work on paper. Each piece of art is re- interactive shopping experience check out fred- printed 200 times and can be purchased in three differ- dyandma.com. This innovative website allows ent sizes, the smallest costing $20. Hence the name. It the shopper to actually design their own purses is a great place to find innovative, unique pieces of art. and pillows. By choosing from different available Think of it as a virtual walk through an art gallery. With shapes and sizes, the designer (ahem, you) can some affordable pricing as well. then also choose the fabric, colors and patterns. It And finally, for those jet setters flying to and fro is a wonderful way to give a gift a personal touch, for the holidays, flight001.com offers traveler-friendly without having to personally touch it at all. gifts with just a dash of kitsch and a sprinkle of sar- For the hip and young, check out winknyc. casm. It’s the perfect way to make those long holiday com. This site, as seen in Lucky magazine, offers travels enjoyable, or even survivable. As well all know, beauty supplies, jewelry, handbags, apparel, foot- holiday traveling runs a close second to being lost in wear, and even something called winkwear (a little the desert. But either way, this store will help to ease self promotion for ya). But, the image is young those pains, and probably grant a smile along the way. and fashion-forward, while the cost ranges from Holiday shopping no longer has to be the line- fashion affordable to fashion smashin’ your bank filled, screaming baby, sore back nightmare it has account. always been. Now you can do it from the comfort of Another Lucky magazine recommen- your own home. And sure, you will miss the carolers fans etsy.com dation is the website greenergrassdesign. and the Christmas lights, but I’m certain even that can from flight001.com be found online, if you only Google hard enough. com. This site offers pretty much anything from home and office products to gadgets, pets (products), and wearable designs. There is even a section with gift ideas, sorted by prices ranging from $25 to $100, for those who still don’t know what they’re looking for. You might find a multiplug USB port is just the thing by donald dusinberre you were thinking of. Or perhaps a $90 Stella the Squirrel stuffed gag gifts animal will do the trick. But, you are bound to be amused and get your creative gift giving juices a’flowing. Taking a trip down the handmade lane, there is always Your dreaded office party is coming up soon, complete with etsy.com. This website is a place for independent artists to sell that most tedious holiday tradition, the Secret Santa or White El- their own handmade pieces, and a place for the rest of us to ephant gift exchange. Your family get-together will be chock full of buy them. Check out the time machine, a slowly spiraling group people you love but can’t stand to be near, and they’re all bringing of items that allows you to “grab and throw” the little dots you gifts. find most appealing. I don’t know. That probably doesn’t make So how do you buy gifts for people you either don’t know or sense, but perhaps it has intrigued you. It’s very hands on, it’s don’t especially care about? Well, those of us with a sense of hu- very creative, and way more fun then standing in line at Target. mor and a taste for mischief always have plenty of ideas. I’d take The website 20x200.com follows a similar form, with a a Chia Pet over a snowman tree ornament any day. Wouldn’t you slightly different function. They offer a venue for different visual rather give a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans than another artists to promote their work and sell it online in one big virtual cute teddy bear with a Santa hat? Nothing beats seeing someone from freddyandma.com marketplace. But, they only allow two new pieces a week, one eat a vomit-flavored jellybean. There are a few general rules to keep in mind when giving gag gifts. If your gift is going to someone specific (as opposed to a Secret Santa gift), be mindful of their attitude and sense of hu- mor. Don’t be mean and don’t draw negative attention to sensitive topics. In other words, giving Grandma running shoes after knee surgery is funny, but giving her running shoes after a leg amputa- tion is definitely not funny. When giving gag gifts to a specific person, there are a few tips to remember. The best ones are specific to the recipient while showing them that you care about them. People love to get thoughtful gifts, even when they’re funny. Exerting a little indepen- from prankplace.com dent creative thinking will mean the difference between a courtesy laugh and a hearty guffaw. Giving gag gifts at Secret Santa exchanges is way easier. Preposterous gifts are a cinch, like deodoriz- ing shoe insoles or a jumbo pack of Slim Jims. Or, you could get an oh-so subversive gift for the unidentified co-worker, like a small pillow or a flask. There are many places to find gag gifts, and there is no more comprehensive place to look than the Internet. For an easy Internet search, you can visit quite a few gift websites and get a huge variety of items. Try prankplace.com or the gag gifts page at findgift.com. The items on these sites are usually what you might call ready-made, but they’re an easy (if pricey) way to get a laugh. Ready-made gifts are pretty funny and

18 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper often cheesy, but giving them is not the most shining example of the giver’s creativity. Another easy place to find ready-made gags are those What on Earth catalogs that seem to show up in the mail even though no one ever asks for them. In reality, though, those catalogs are full of things that will make the giver laugh harder than the receiver. The best ideas are usually ad-libbed and found in unexpected places. Dollar stores are a great place to start, and gift certificates to unusual establishments are also a funny idea (think Golden Corral or Buchanan Sign & Flag). I’d now like to take this opportunity to lament the passing of Einstein’s Kitch-Inn, my all-time favorite place for gag gifts. Giving a gag gift is a liberating experience because it allows you to make the transaction about both the giver and the receiver. At first, that might sound more complicated, but it opens the door for a wider range of ideas. Instead of focusing on the gift’s lasting impression, you can focus on its immediate impact, which will undoubtedly endear the recipient to the item and color its place in their life forever. thrift gifts by donald dusinberre Who can say their vinyl collection isn’t padded with scratched-up records from a thrift store? Who hasn’t passed over umpteen Herb Alpert and Boz Scaggs records to find that precious copy of Neil Young’s Harvest? Who hasn’t fished through miles of slacks, trousers, chinos, and ratty jeans to be the one who discovers and wears the most ugly plaid pants ever sewn? And remember when cardigans were cool? When I was in high school and college, some of my favorite articles of clothing were purchased from thrift stores. I was an independent kid with no interest in trends and no money, so thrift stores were a double jackpot. At first I felt guilty for taking snazzy clothes away from folks less fortunate than me, but somebody had to pay a dollar for them, and it happened to be me. With thrift stores, the hunt for the perfect treasure is just as important as finding it and paying less than a buck for it. You’re not going fans and stoves in 5 points to find exactly what you’re looking for, but you might find something equally as special. You can’t expect to find items suitable as gifts, but sometimes you get lucky. I was never in the market for a catcher’s mitt, but I found and bought a nearly new Rawlings mitt for $4 and gave it to my Little League age nephews. When searching for clothes, you have to keep an open mind about your search. Don’t just look for your size, look for what strikes your eye first, then see if you can squeeze into the garment. You can always cinch your new corduroy pants or fill out those new wingtip shoes by wearing two pairs of socks. Folks with a little electronics knowledge can assemble a Franken-stereo with an inexpensive cartful of old hi-fis and speakers. It might get some snickers from your techie friends, but no one on your block will be able to replicate the way you make Kanye sound. One of the most promising sections of any thrift store is housewares. If you’re not at all picky, you can outfit your entire kitchen with almost every utensil and appliance you’ll ever need. Microwaves, toasters, coffeemakers and can openers are aplenty, and they offer an endless supply of dishes, glasses, silverware, and coffee mugs. In fact, getting your boss a Garfield coffee mug from 1984 is nothing short of hilarious, and your roommate will love the bowling pin-shaped beer stein you found. I just can’t pretend to know which thrift store has got the coolest stuff. Everyone has their own opinion, and besides, if we all know where the best ones are, then all the good stuff will get snapped up. Neither am I going to list every one of them here. There are thrift stores all over the place. I know of at least five stores within a few miles of my house, and one of them has my next favorite pair of slacks.

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 19 Shang Hai Seafood Sampler dish. where to eat, drink and be merry.

“fish any fresher would still be in the ocean.” Mitchell’s Fish Market by Erin thursby [email protected]

Glancing at the menu at Mitchell’s Fish Market, I Cedar Plank notice there aren’t many options outside those that come Salmon from the water. There’s a spicy grilled chicken, pulled chicken BLT salad and a few veggie options, but that’s it. I don’t try any of those. I’m here for the fish. Pricing is more than reasonable. Entrees run from $9.95 -18.95, with most hitting about $12. I’ve seen 7 layer carrot cake from these same sorts of entrees, of similar size and quality, Mitchell’s Fish Market go for over $20. The atmosphere is nautical but nice, with shiny black leather booths towards the back and open patio page 20-21 mitchell’s fish market restaurant review seating in the front. They’ve got a swanky bar which mixes great drinks (try their Mojito). I decided to start with two of the most common appetizers on most menus and see how they fared. First, dish update the seared Hawaiian ahi tuna. Despite the competition, they did an impressive job, with an excellent ponzu Christmas in Avondale is this Friday, November 30th! There will be a block party on historic St. sauce, cubed wasabi and an aces presentation. Next I sampled the the Kung Pao Fried Calamari, Johns with all the shops and restaurants celebrating the holidays. Let them Eat Cake will be set up to which is probably in the top three calamari preparations sell homemade hot chocolate and marshmallows to go with their cupcakes and other goodies. They I’ve had here in Jacksonville. Since calamari ends up have started to offer gluten-free and vegan desserts on Friday and Saturdays. on many restaurant menus, from the worst bar to the Friday is the last day for the Canned Food Drive at the Main Library. All of the canned food will most upscale bistro, it’s tough to even get into the top be donated to the Lutheran Social Services Second Harvest Food bank. Call (904) 630-0673 for more ten. These, of course, are buttermilk marinated, which ensures they aren’t rubbery. Mixed into the pile of deep information. fried calamari are surprising sautéed green beans and red bell pepper slices. It is the dipping sauce that really Lots of places have been closing in the past few months—the Preservation Tap and Chophouse makes this dish delish, a slightly piquant soy and peanut-based thin sauce. is gone now, and so is the more corporate RJ Gator’s. One of the Tree Steakhouses closed down (752 Under “Today’s Fresh Catch” you can choose your fish and method of preparation. Some of the choices Atlantic Blvd, Atlantic Beach) but there’s still a locale in Mandarin (11362 San Jose Blvd). Aurathai still of fish include queen snapper, swordfish, rainbow trout, yellowfin tuna, mahi mahi, tropical tilapia and sea hasn’t reopened their doors since October, and their voice mailbox has been full for months now. scallops. There are three preparations you can match your choice of fish with: the Shang Hai, simply grilled, broiled or blackened. For something Christmasy for the kids, head to the upscale Roy’s (2400-101 South 3rd Street, I know exactly why Chilean Sea Bass is supposedly endangered—because it’s delicious. I always feel a th Jacksonville Beach). On Saturday, December 8 at 11 am, they can learn how to make Hawaiian Gin- tad guilty ordering it, but that guilt drifts away once I taste the first bite of light, melt-in-your mouth goodness. gerbread Houses. Cost is $25 per child. Call (904) 241-7697. It is one of the least “fishy” tasting fishes you can eat, with white, flaky-but-firm meat. One of reasons the fish Want to learn more about entertaining in time for your own cocktail party this holiday season? tastes so good is that it’s loaded with natural fish oil, so it’s as though it’s been pre-marinated. The high fat Hopefully December 9th isn’t too late! On the 9th at 11 am the Williams-Sonoma at the Avenues Mall content makes it almost impossible to overcook. It’s not actually a bass or grouper, in spite of its common name. It’s really a cod ice fish. The true name, Patagonian toothfish, is as ugly as the fish is before it’s cut is holding a free class on the art of entertaining. You’ll learn about the party essentials, guidelines for into fillets. setting up appetizers, recipes for festive drinks, and yummy food recipes. Nothing makes me angrier than a badly prepared Chilean Sea Bass, as I can’t stand the idea of someone Salt (4750 Amelia Island Parkway, Amelia Island), the chic restaurant at The Ritz-Carlton, has messing up something that should be heaven-sent. Luckily, Mitchell’s preparation of the fish sent me into been given “five diamond” status by AAA for the 14th straight year. the usual ecstasy. I had the blackened version, crusted, served with a decent etoufee sauce, jambalaya rice, green beans and mushrooms, set off with a little sweetness of cane syrup.

20 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Robyn Butsko, excecutive chef with a piece of sharkfin pie

I wanted to try the Shang Hai preparation, but it was a difficult choice. Under Chef’s Specialties I saw the Shang Hai Seafood Sampler, a choice that took the sting out of choosing. It includes salmon, scallops and shrimp on sticky rice and spinach, doused in a rice wine soy sauce. If you like your fish to be of an Asian persuasion, this is the dish to try. For a more classic preparation, try the house specialty, Cedar Plank Salmon, which is served on a cedar plank atop roasted veggies and eggplant doused with a sweet balsamic. The fish is topped with a small dab of goat cheese, some sun dried tomatoes and mushrooms. I sampled two desserts to top my meal off, the Sharkfin Pie and the Seven-Layer Carrot cake. The carrot cake was excellent, though the frosting is a little thin for my taste. It’s still one of the largest and best you’ll eat in the area. If you like sundaes, this one’s served in the form of a shark-fin-shaped pie slice. Butter fudge ice cream, honey roasted peanuts, fudge and Oreo cookie crust all come together to form this massive un- dertaking. You may need help to finish it. I will be coming back to Mitchell’s. The freshness of the fish, the bold flavors of their preparations, and their excellent prices make them my new pick for fresh fish.

Chilean Sea Bass

the official word on chilean sea bass

Why is this fish called Chilean sea bass? Chilean sea bass is a deep-water species also known as toothfish, caught in southern ocean waters near and around Antarctica. The Chileans were the first to market toothfish commercially in the United States, earning it the name Chilean sea bass, although it is really not a bass and it is not always caught in Chilean waters. It is a different species than the sea bass caught in U.S. waters. Because of its white meat appeal, Chilean sea bass usually fetches premium prices in specialty markets and high-end restaurants. It is a deep-water fish that can live up to 50 years and grow to weigh over 200 pounds.

Is Chilean sea bass an endangered species? No. But large, unreported catches from illegal fishing of this valuable fish has made effective manage- ment difficult. In 2000, more than 16,000 tons of Chilean sea bass were legally harvested in the Antarctic management area. Estimates vary, but there may be up to twice that amount taken illegally. Some Chilean sea bass fisheries are managed in a responsible manner, but there are some areas where the species has been and continues to be overfished. -U.S. DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE REPORT

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 21 other it restored my faith in long-term marriages. So live music & discovering another side of Matt and Robin was an uplifting experience. Clearly, after being together for three years, Shoofly enjoys performing live for audi- shows calendar ences. At the group’s European Street gig, the room was full of friends, fans and supporters, including THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29 many of Matt’s colleagues at the Times-Union. Not surprisingly, Matt considers playing music Pianist Tim Nold Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach (249- his real occupation and journalism his avocation. 9981) Nonetheless, as an ensemble, Shoofly is a joy to Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds Lounge, behold playing an eclectic repertoire of country, St. Augustine (829-8646) bluegrass, blues and originals. Robin and Angela’s voices harmonize with melodious synchronization. Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299) Yes, “roots touched Edna” (from a Crawfish of Love Louie LeClaire Starlite Café, Jax song) as Shoofly soothed my savage beast within. I especially liked the members of Shoofly’s laid-back Gypsy Highway Box Seats, Jax (908-7328) stage persona and Matt’s witty repartee with the The Wainwrights Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877) audience. It was a relaxing way to spend a Saturday Nible Jim 9th & Main, Jax night. And one of those tall beers from E-Street lasted me the entire show. Rowka Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Renowned British singer/songwriter John Long- Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) bottom is a major asset to the group, lending his considerable talents to the mix. He is often featured To End the Suffering Fuel, Jax (425-3835) as a soloist and occasionally sings lead. During Matt Still Paco’s, Jax Beach John’s 20-plus year career, he’s been “down the road” as a professional troubadour, having played Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park with Pete Seeger, Steven Stills, Don Williams and (269-4198) many other well known bluegrass bands and Irish Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004) another side of matt Celtic groups. For folk music devotees, John is a must-see, whether he’s playing with Shoofly or as The Smile Rays TSI, Jax (635-3024) a solo act. Audiences love it when he hauls out his Hunnert Proof Stadium Club, Jax massive Ovation 12 /6 string double neck guitar. Shoofly joins the popular movement toward the Stephen Simmons European Street, Jax old time back-porch purveyors of mountain music Gary Lee Stewart Shannons Irish Pub, Green and robin soergel played for entertainment. It was a bygone era before Cove Springs the technocratic age of television, computers, the Internet, iPods, and cell phones became major dis- Kurt Elling UNF Robinson Theatre, Jax tractions. Eventually, mountain music evolved into A1A North Jerry’s, Jax (220-6766) Shoofly at European Street bluegrass and various derivations of country. With all the stress of living in the modern world, listening to Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359- Shoofly is a trip back in time when life was simpler 0001) by Rick grant [email protected] and music was homemade for no other reason than Gutterboy Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) personal enjoyment. Color me flabbergasted. When I visited the the Soergels are Linda Greenville on guitar and vocal The Songwriters Circle concerts at the Euro- Ron Perry Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999) European Street Café on Beach Boulevard to cover harmonies, Beau Halton on drums, Angela Bussone pean Street on Beach Boulevard are catching on Colton & Friends The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829- Shoofly, my longtime friend and former fellow on violin, and John Longbottom on guitar, bass and with people looking for something different. The res- 2329) movie critic, Matt Soergel, and his wife Robin were numerous other instruments. taurant stays open serving food until 8:30 pm. The performing high quality American roots music. I Over many years, Matt and I spent long hours Songwriter’s Circle shows begins at 7 pm on most Look Mexico Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) knew about Matt’s band, but I didn’t realize he’s an in darkened movie theaters screening movies to Saturday nights. To find out more about this new Ace Winn The Melting Pot, Jax accomplished musician, playing guitar, banjo and review. Occasionally, Matt would bring his lovely concert series, log onto pickersandsingers.com Call mandolin. Robin sings and plays accordion. Joining wife Robin. They are so sweet and loving to one an- (904) 725-3829 to reserve a table. Saltwater Grass Spare Time, Jax Beach (246-8099)

Stu Weaver Coffee Roasters, Jax (260-0810)

THURSDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 29- DECEMBER 2

Blue Sage Shoes A!A Ale Works, St. Augustine (829-2977)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30

Nate Holley Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine (824-9317)

Wynonna Florida Theatre, Jax

Danka Spare Time Grille, Jax Beach

Too Many Shoes Chicago Pizza, St. Augustine

Ridiculous Red Fusion, St. Augustine

Lauren Fincham R. Roberts Gallery, Jax

Hot Cotton Tom & Betty’s, Jax (387-3311)

Over the Ditch Tiajuana Flats, Jax

22 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Antarctic fit stylistically, but they made the evening a more Acoustic Pirate OC White’s, St. Augustine (824- well-rounded experience, which was cool. They 0808) deftly extinguished the hellfire while reminding me Ed Cotton 9th & Main, Jax how much I love watching bands live. I used to get a high from live music, desir- Dave Massey On the Rocks, Jax ing to see a good band every night if possible. But Little Green Men Brewsters, Jax (223-9850) it’s difficult to find great bands to see, so the effort Fat Asprin Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) became too laborious to sustain with enthusiasm. Seeing a band like Antarctic reignites my addiction, The Almost Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) and for that I am pleased. Yeah, I detected a bit of Crystal Bessels Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) hipster, and they pulled the old midsong-beer-swig, but I think they’ve really got what it takes to make an At the Wake Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807) impact on Jacksonville’s music scene. A1A North Sharky’s, Orange Park

JUCIFER Yankee Slickers West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131)

Clayton Bush Pauly’s Pizza, Jax (727-9101)

Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515)

Big Engine Rivers Edge, Fernandina (491-3849)

Something Distant Scarlett’s, St. Augustine (824- 6535) physical sounds C1 Jazz 9th & Main, Jax Hunnert Proof Danny’s Sports Bar, Orange Park Jucifer, Antarctic, and Dark Castle Boogie Freaks Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877) Chris Kearnes Ocean 60, Jax Beach (247-0060) by donald dusinberre [email protected] Phil Vassar Jax Municipal Stadium, Jax I arrived at Jack Rabbits at 9:30 pm hoping to sound if they were sporting different instruments, Jucifer, of course, was the evening’s other duo. Livid Michelle’s, Jax find a few friends in a large crowd as the opening like a jazz drum kit and a Rickenbacher guitar. As they set up their instruments, I was floored by Matt Still Latitudes, Jax Beach (247-6606) band tuned their instruments. I did see a few friends Even if the sound they produced was nearly how many speaker cabinets were stacked behind amongst the dreadlocked heads, but unfortunately, identical, would it have seemed different in a live set- them and how humongous their drum kit was. As I the crowd was much smaller than I had hoped. Less ting? Furthermore, if Christina Wagner took the stage soon found out, Jucifer is all about excess. FRIDAY-SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 30- than 40 spectators were present to witness a near- with Dark Castle’s instruments, how different would The room went black. NWA filled our ears for DECEMBER 1 physical wall of sound. Too bad, so sad. her folk music sound? a few songs until all of a sudden, thunder. I’m seri- With tonight’s first duo, Dark Castle, the fog In any case, Dark Castle definitely set the tone ous, the room shuddered with the guitar’s low end, Jody & the Drive Shafts Trade Winds Lounge, St. machines and deep red lights were in full use. It for the evening with their thick metal sludge still mol- and the feedback slid in and out of the countless Augustine (829-9336) looked like a thousand cigarettes had been smoked. ten in the smelting pot. Their female singer (a term linked speakers. The rumble was so powerful I could Spade McQuade Fly’s Tie, Atlantic Beach (246- During their set, I realized something about appear- I must use loosely) belted out her guttural screams hear the plaster vibrating when I stepped outside. I 4293) ances in a live performance. There is a real connec- on what I can only assume are her favorite subjects: thought my cell phone was ringing the entire show. tion between the perception of a band’s sound and ponies, rainbows, and genital torture. As cool as it was to experience such a physical Kickin Lassie The Roadhouse, Orange Park (264- the instruments they play to make that sound. I’m Unfortunately, the music meandered a bit, manifestation of sound, I wished I could hear more 0611) not talking about actual sonic differences, but how rarely offering the audience a discernable motif to than just the clipped blast of a dozen amplifiers. I Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940) the band looks when making their music. Case in look forward to. I didn’t expect pop gems, but a couldn’t hear any vocals at all, just guitar and drums. point: Dark Castle took the stage with a muscular memorable phrase here and there would have been Even if the evening wasn’t a revelation in new Ruckus Cliff’s, Jax (645-5162) drum kit and a Flying V Gibson guitar. I expected the nice. musical ideas, it was worth experiencing the sounds. Sidewalk 65 Champs Lounge, Ponte Vedra (285- band to sound really heavy, and they did. But I won- The second band was Antarctic, and fittingly, Too bad there weren’t more fans there to experience 7777) dered how differently I would have perceived their the room immediately got cooler. They were an odd it with me. Henry Westberry w/Richard Garry TNT Lounge, Middleburg

BayStreet Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach

Mike Gottuso Seven Bridges, Jax (997-1999)

Dueling Pianos Dick’s Wings/Tinseltown, Jax

Busted & Confused Overtime Sports Bar, Jax

Big Al & the Kaholics Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)

Drivin South New Neighborhood Tavern, Jax (721- 5087)

Uncle Meat & the Bumblebee Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Stu Weaver Mizu Jananese Restaurant, Jax

Rathkeltair Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181)

Driven Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999)

3 Square One, Jax (306-9004)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1

Robby Schenck Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551)

Fat Satchel Rebar, Jax

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 23 Self Employed Elixir, Orange Park (215-4400) slightly stoopid band has amassed. I first learned of Slightly Stoopid’s most recent Cameron Metzgar Nice Music, Orange Park Jacksonville show (Thursday, November 15th at Trace of Day Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) Freebird) because I heard Fishbone was playing. To my surprise, Fishbone wasn’t the headlining band, Look Alive Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) but rather the opening act. When I was asked to Deblois Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453) cover the show I was looking forward to seeing Fishbone, when I was asked to interview Slightly Big Engine Brewsters, Jax (223-9850) Stoopid as well, I agreed. I did my research, read Dinosaur Jr. Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) the band’s bio, familiarized myself with their various releases, and prepared a list of questions to discuss Lee Boys Café Eleven, St. Augustine (460-9311) with the band. After a few e-mails with the publicist Southern Wailers High Tide Café, St. Augustine to iron out the details, I tried giving Miles Doughty, one of the band’s co-founders, a call. And this is The Ambulence Review 9th & Main, Jax where things went awry. Despite a handful of at- X-Sister-Z Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) tempts, voicemail, and some frantic shuffling from the band’s publicist, it became apparent that Slightly Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) Stoopid was too busy, or considered themselves too Bakersville Conspiracy Fusion, St. Augustine (829- important, to deign an interview. 8333) It’s one thing when you can’t schedule an Busted & Confused Jackie’s Bar, Jax interview with a band because they’re too busy or their “people” don’t call you back, it’s another thing Smile Rays The Landing, Jax entirely when everyone on their staff is trying to set Grabbag Doozer’s, Jax things up and the band members just can’t be both- ered. Rock star attitude, delusions of grandeur, and Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine the unfortunate shortcoming of believing their own (824-9317) hype, what more can you expect from a band that’s very stoopid holding bongs in most of their press photos? But no Higher Ground Yesterdays, Jax (387-0502) worries, there was still the show to review, and the Face 4 Radio Rebar, Jax publicist had assured me that I was on the list with Leland McWilliams Tera Nova, Jax SoCal’s reggae wannabes a photo pass to be able to regale EU’s readers with tales of the sold-out show… Bare Soul Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807) by ian desousa I always do a double take when going to a Chuck Nash Latitudes, Jax Beach (247-6606) show at the Freebird. On one had, they get some Okay, it might not be completely fair to call ye people of taste, the only thing remotely Carib- fantastic acts in a variety of genres, on the other, I’ve Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855) Slightly Stoopid “reggae wannabes.” It could be bean about this band’s sound could have only been had my share of dodgy experiences there. From a Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza Grill, considered misrepresenting of the band and insulting copped from the seedy bar of a Sandals beach rude bartender trying to play “cocktail” and breaking Jax (287-9900) to the genre of ska. After all, the band started out 10 resort or some equally vapid locale. If ridiculous a glass on the arm of a friend (and not apologizing) years ago with just 2 guys still in high-school getting looking touristy ‘braids in ya’ hair pretty lady’ from to the widow Van Zandt trying to work the door and Chelsea Saddler Tijuana Flats, Jax signed to Brad Nowell’s (Sublime) Skunk label and Ochos Rios is your idea of authentic Caribbean, then denying a third-grade school teacher entrance to a playing surfer punk rock with an occasional off beat. Slightly Stoopid may well be your idea of authentic show because she incorrectly thought her ticket was Since then they’ve swelled to 7 members and reggae, rocksteady and dub. counterfeit to the unnerving way the second floor SUNDAY, DECEMBER 2 grown their sound from rich-kid punk to that shallow Despite some great talent on both sides of the shakes and vibrates when the music gets loud, the Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471-5555) and bastardized blend of punk and reggae popular- board, including Mario C, producer of Beastie Boys’ Freebird has a knack for consistently embodying ized by bands like Sublime and 311. The band’s fame, and two horn players from roots reggae greats the greasier side of the Southern fried rock n’ roll it Dan Shepherd Harpoon Louie’s, Jax (389-5631) latest album, Chronicitus, was lauded for it’s “pure John Brown’s Body, Chronicitis fails to deliver music holds so dear. Separation is Natural Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Caribbean” sound with “heavy rocksteady, reggae, with any real soul. To be fair, the musicianship on But on this night, unfortunately for me and this and dub influences” throughout. I thought perhaps this latest album has some shine to it. C-Money article, I didn’t get past the Will Call window. After Isaac Byrd Jr. De Real Ting Café, Jax they’d found a deeper appreciation for these genres lands some slick key work to the organ, the horns patiently explaining to the irritated employee at the Devour the Dead Fuel, Jax (425-3835) and were ready to stop merely poaching the most are well-timed, and even the dub bass has some window that I was on the list, scrutinizing over it with superficial aspects of punk, reggae, and ska. Alas, slight moments of brilliance, but these glimmers of him, and realizing that either the band’s publicist or Kings of Hell Sundog Diner, Neptune Beach (241- hope fail to bring the work as a whole out of tired, the club had dropped the ball and that my name was 8221) watered-down stagnation. nowhere to be found, there was nothing more I could Tarik Hassan Sahara Café, Jax There’s more to island music than just an off- do but chalk it up to another memorable experience beat. The poorly faked Jamaican accents are equaled at the Freebird. John Winters Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829- only by the flaccid raps and failed beats that are sup- Though I escaped the show without injury or 2329) posed to constitute some hip-hop flare. Add to this further drama, I walked away with that same me- Buffalo Tears Inertia, Jax the band’s overwhelmingly un-interesting songs and diocre feeling I get whenever I leave this particular their talent for writing lyrics that fail to be the least bit venue, so close, but not really there – kind of like David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) funny and one marvels at the staunch following this Slightly Stoopid. Flashback Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877)

Douglas Campbell Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Jimmy Parrish Carib Key, Jax Beach (270-8940)

Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829- 8646)

3rd Bass The Casbah, Jax (981-9966)

El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004)

Jan Crawford & Friends Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

Michael Funge Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (249-9595)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 3

24 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper EU: Is DC a good area to be an unsigned band as Joey Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) far as attention, a vibrant scene and venues? IG: Everyone says if you want to break in, you Charlie Walker Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) have to move to New York, LA or Austin, but for me Sam Pacetti The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) the best thing about DC, besides feeling so com- fortable, is that it’s geographically tucked nicely Lary Smith Harmonious Monks, Jax (886-3040) [between] everything. As far as how a label might Band of Destiny Square One, Jax (306-9004) perceive it, we’re probably better off. Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach EU: You guys marry a number of sounds together (246-4293) in each song. Is that a result of a collaborative Goliath & Dorian Lopez Casbah, Jax (981-9966) songwriting style or a wide number of influences? IG: It’s definitely both of those. Everyone in the Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) band comes from a unique, specific background. Everyone has that one band that everyone else makes fun of them for. It’s a bit of a tug of war at TUESDAY, DECEMBER 4 times. I’m happy with how we’ve compromised and Open Mic Jam Nice House of Music, Orange Park come to an agreement. We do have a lot of similar Second String Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune interests. I’ll be hearing Garbage and Oasis and somebody else will be hearing Led Zeppelin. The Beach (241-8221) process, typically, is Steve and Eric will come up Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine with demos for songs and then everyone else will (829-8646) take it from what they had to something awesome Christina Wagner & Friends Mark’s Downtown, Jax (laughing). (355-5099)

EU: What’s the band that you are made fun of for Nekromantix Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) liking? Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) IG: Garbage, Spice Girls. I thought Spice World was pretty funny. I recently watched it though and Dave Massey Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) was considerably less drunk, it wasn’t nearly as Those Guys Hurricane Patty’s, St. Augustine (827- funny. 1822) EU: How does the DIY operation influence what Red Letter Bullet Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388- running to the you do? 7807) IG: We don’t have anyone breathing down our neck Scenic Void Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) telling us “you should sound more like this.” There is a lot of freedom, but there is a trade off. We’ve Ron Perry Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) been lucky because the band has an extensive Shawn Lightfoot London Bridge, Jax (359-0001) history with technical recording and mixing. I was middle blown away the first time we played back our re- Out of Hand Palace Saloon, Fernandina Beach cordings for the album last year that we recorded Bill Rice Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) in Eric’s basement. You can be as DIY as you want, interview with Middle Distance Runner but if you don’t have a good sounding recording Big Engine Sharkey’s, Orange Park you’re wasting time. Ace Winn Copelands, Jax by brenton crozier EU: Guilty pleasure song? Mystic Dino Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181) IG: Shania Twain’s ‘Don’t Impress Me Much.’ I major Northeast cities including Jacksonville on Deathface Beaches Billiards, Jax Beach WHO: Middle Distance Runner was visiting my cousin in Florida. We were deep December 9th at Jack Rabbits. WHEN: December 9th sea fishing and that song came on the radio. Any Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax WHERE: Jack Rabbits chance I get at a karaoke bar, I bust that one out. EU: It’s surprising with such an accomplished Southern Wailers Sangria’s, Jax Middle Distance Runner is an unsigned band It’s an incredible pop song. from Washington DC. With all the sound aware- sound, you are unsigned. Is that due to lack of Jimmy Solari My Place, Jax (737-5299) ness and some of the occasional quirk of Arcade interest or are you holding out for that perfect Fire grouped with the pop sensible accessibility deal? Seth Ramsdill Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach of Elliot Smith, Middle Distance Runner has an Ian Glinka: We have spoken with a few labels but (246-4293) expansive and yet somehow infectious sound that haven’t reached the point of what was being offered Ron Perry Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) won’t leave them unsigned for long. That is if they is what we’re looking for. The industry is changing El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004) even want the “sex appeal” of a label, as Ian Glinka, and the notion of a label is changing. We give a bass player of MDR, puts it. EU talked to Ian about lot of credit to our manager in building a team that a week before MDR’s tour, which hits a number of makes us a more attractive option to a label. TUESDAY-WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4-5

Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143)

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 5

Mr. Beam Casa Marina, Jax Beach (270-0025)

Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299)

All That Remains Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246- 2473)

Joe Watts Trio Bourbon Bayou, Jax

Wes Cobb Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453)

Rowka Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Johnny Flood Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241- 6453)

Chelsea Saddler Tijuana Flats, Jax (737-9938)

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 25 Rebecca Zapen The Casbah, Jax (981-9966) the ice skating rink. This is the very first outdoor ice skating rink in St. Augustine history and it seems Rip Tide w/Brian Turner Eddie Bahamas, Jax Beach nearly everyone who attended opening night wanted (241-3138) to say they skated on it. The line to try out the rink Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004) was by far the longest of the night. When 9 pm rolled around, skaters got an additional treat: snow. For a Jesse & Leaa Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) full 15-minutes or so the ice skating Floridians got Jodies Fiasco Castillo de Mexico, Jax to experience the cold white stuff, many for the very first time. The center path also takes you to a small Soulo Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515) bizarre where you can buy cool gifts from local ven- The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396- dors and a large concession stand with your stan- 3396) dard festival fare (hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, etc.). On you’re way into and out of Winter Wonder- El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525)

Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)

Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246- 4293)

Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737-5299) upcoming shows walkin’ in a… Col Bruce & The Quark Alliance Dec. 6, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Keith Urban December 7, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 Rev. Billy Wirtz Dec. 7, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 winter wonderland David Wilcox Dec. 8, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 land you can stop and take a sleigh ride through the The Avett Brothers Dec. 9, Freebird Live, 246-2473 by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] ground’s Arboretum and nature trails, all beautifully Jethro Tull Dec.11, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 decorated with twinkling lights. This very St. Augus- Peter White Christmas Dec.12, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Winter Wonderland is the first real family immediately and there was a good 10-minute wait tine experience would be a great way to wrap up an Johnny Winter Dec. 14, Freebird Live, 246-2473 festival at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre since it for most of the night. Kids were able to share their already magical night. Quinn Lemley As Rita Hayworth Dec.15, Wilson Center, reopened earlier this year, so event organizers have Christmas wishes with St. Nick while moms and It’s completely free to visit Winter Wonderland 632-3373 gone to great lengths to make it unique and unforget- dads happily snapped (free) photos of their children and enjoy many of the event’s Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi Dec. 27, Florida table. They’ve certainly succeeded. My family and with the tubby icon. After sitting activities. That said, the big Theatre, 355-2787 I headed over to Winter Wonderland on its opening on Santa’s knee, many took a ones, like ice skating and sleigh JJ Grey & MOFRO Dec. 28-31, Freebird Live, 246-2473 night and were blown away by how much this new trip down “Candy Cane Lane,” rides, are going to cost you. R. Kelly Dec. 30, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 First Coast tradition had to offer. a short loop decorated with Skating is $8 per person and $2 Willie Nelson Jan. 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Once you find a parking space and enter the brightly colored candy canes for skate rental, while the sleigh Taj Mahal Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre facility, your first stop should be one of the extremely and illuminated wildlife. rides are $10 for adults and $4 Riders in the Sky Jan. 12, Florida Theatre helpful guideposts which will point you in the direc- The right side of the Am- for kids. If you want to catch Galatic Jan.13, Freebird Live tion of all that the event has to offer. If you head left phitheatre is home to the Com- one of the performances of Gift Kathy Griffin Jan. 17, Florida Theatre from the entrance you’ll come to an adorable elf vil- munity Stage where storytelling of the Magi, that’s another $5 a Roy Clark and Junior Brown Jan.18, Florida Theatre lage, consisting of about five little decorated houses and musical performances will seat. Add a few hot dogs and a The Unity Music Festival featuring Rabbit In The Moon, thus far. These tiny domiciles were created by local take place during the festivities. couple of drinks and a family of Bad Boy Bill, George Acosta, Mike B., Ying Yang Twins, businesses and individuals and will eventually be Continuing down the right path- four could easily spend a small Trina, Lil Webbie, Lil Boosie, Young Cash, Bigga Rankins judged by guests. Just beyond the village is where way will take you to the fire pits, fortune at Winter Wonderland, & more Jan 19, Metropolitan Park, Info: 1-888-UNITY21 or Santa Claus hangs out. Parents and restless young- where you can get warm or, so be sure to budget accord- WWW.UNITYMUSICFEST.COM sters began lining up to see the jolly old elf almost better yet, make some s’mores. ingly beforehand. Dancing With The Stars - The Tour Jan 22, Jacksonville A nearby vendor sells s’mores- Winter Wonderland will take Arena making stuff and other holiday over the St. Augustine Amphi- Cherryholmes Jan. 26, Florida Theatre goodies. Just beyond the fire theatre from now until January Ring of Fire - The Music of Johnny Cash Jan. 28, Florida pits is the facility’s Legacy 6th. My family and I had a terrific Theatre Room, where Theatre Saint time seeing all the sights and enjoying the evening’s Classic Albums Live - Led Zeppelin IV Feb. 5, Florida Augustine will be performing Gift of the Magi on the activities. We will be coming back again this year Theatre weekends (read the review on page 26). and hope to make it one of our holiday stops for Trisha Yearwood Feb.14, Florida Theatre Heading straight will take you to one of the many years to come. The B-52’s Feb. 15, Florida Theatre North Florida Low Country Cooking most popular activities Winter Wonderland offers: In A Charming Creekside Setting Lalah Hathaway Feb.17, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 The 15th Annual Great Guitar Gathering Feb.22, Florida Theatre Michael Bublé February 24, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 It's All In Good Taste! John Edward March 3, Florida Theatre Freda Payne - Tribute to Ella Fitzgerald March 6, Florida LIVE MUSIC Theatre WED.-SUN. 5:30 - 9:30 Blue Man Group March 7, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 Classic Albums Live - Sgt. Pepper March 16, Florida Stop by for our famous oak plank cooking today! Theatre Jake Shimabukuro and Futureman Apr 17, Florida Theatre · fresh local seafood JUST ANNOUNCED · chicken, ribs & steaks Van Halen Sat, Feb 16, 2008, at the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS Tickets on Sale Sat, Dec 8 at 10 am. Info: 353-3309 or 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. ticketmaster.com. On the water East of US1 St. Augustine • 829-6113

26 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper doctor’s office with real art! The more artwork the public sees, the more critical response we’ll get, positive or negative. The scene will naturally improve through natural, consis- tent, constructive criticism. shallow pool Flood at Pedestrian Projects by donald dusinberre [email protected] I messed up, and you are now reading an trian Projects) who really know how to get creative, Oh, yeah, Flood. As a regional juried art ex- article about an art exhibition that no longer exists. but for every one of them is a dozen who float along, hibition, Pedestrian Projects (thepedestrian.org) Oops. unaware of their ability to make Jacksonville’s walls displayed entries from all over Florida and Georgia. But in a way, we’ve all messed up. I should more interesting. I believe that Jacksonville has too From what little I saw of the remaining pieces, the have reviewed this show long before now. I thought few spaces for viewing art. Whether you want to call show included many examples of color photography, it was going to last longer, and that’s where which is one of the rarest forms of expression here it begins to be everyone else’s fault. So I’m in Jacksonville. The participants were Ai-lin Chang, going to use this opportunity to rally the Alex Diaz, Jennifer Grey, Steffanie Halley, Jenny troops. Henley, Joyce Hethcox, Christie Holecheck, Casey We carry a guiltless fault, and it is the Mathews, Megan Jacobs, Jeff Rich, and Gabriel power to do nothing. We’ve done nothing to Wells. earn the blame, so we shouldn’t feel bad. Keep in mind, Pedestrian Projects will hopefully But our fault will become detrimental if we return soon, so keep an eye out for a place for them choose to continue doing nothing. too. One that looks nice. And not too expensive. I implore all artists and lovers of art to seek out places to exhibit work. Make more art to put in those spaces. For all the complaining we’ve done about not be- ing supported by certain large museums, we should have been directing our efforts toward more fruitful gains. Maybe instead of waiting to be invited, we should create places of our own, and pay more attention to the few that we have. It seems that Pedestrian Projects will, within days, no longer be able to offer us a space it a gallery, a space, a museum, or a wall, we need to enjoy artwork. I was pretty disappointed to hear our artwork out there, everywhere. Even bad artwork the news, but I was also kind of perturbed. Not at (which we’re bound to encounter) is better than the Pedestrian folks, they did what they could. And nothing. no, its closing wasn’t our fault. It isn’t because we Prints and posters are substitutes for real art, didn’t visit often enough or do something wrong. and they always have been. Can’t we remind Jack- Pedestrian Projects will undoubtedly be back, they sonville that they should have the real thing? just need another place to call home. Artists, be on the lookout for inexpensive The problem is that our art community isn’t places and ways to exhibit, even if it’s an elevator. thinking outside the box. After all, is there a point to The more we take our art to the people, the more viewing art by folks who can’t come up with any- they’ll come looking for it. Anybody have a stairwell thing new? to hang artwork in? Can’t we ask a few more local Don’t get me wrong, there are quite a few art- restaurants to take down a few Van Gogh post- ists in town (many of whom are involved with Pedes- ers? Let’s replace the “doctor’s office art” in your

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 27 culture & arts traditional holiday

NOVEMBER 29 In the Works – Dance JU Swisher Theatre, Jax tale from a brand new 29 Christmas Choral Concert JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax 29-30 Exhibit: J. Kevin “Back To Basics” Energy Lab Art Gallery, St. Augustine 29-30 New Work: Three Emerging Northeast Florida Artists company Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra 29-DEC. 1 Comedian Johnny Milwater Comedy Zone, Mandarin Gift of the Magi theatre review 29-DEC. 2 Annual Nutcracker Tour of Homes World Golf Village, St. Augustine 29-DEC. 2 Olympic Horse Show Jumping and Grand Prix by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] Equestrian Center, Jax The holidays are truly a time when tradition is 1931. America has been struck by the 30-DEC. 2 British Encampment Castillo de San Marcos, St. cherished. We go through the ritual of untangling Great Depression and trivial things like Augustine strings of lights to decorate a Christmas tree. We Christmas gifts are reserved only for spend hours shopping for, hording, and wrapping the incredibly wealthy. Our protagonists 29-DEC. 5 Annual Juried Student Show JU Gallery, Jax gifts for our loved ones. We read stories to our are Jim (Paul Ramey) and Della (Anna 29-DEC. 5 “White Christmas” Seaside Music Theatre, children that stress peace on Earth and goodwill Meade) Dillingham Young, a married Daytona Beach toward men. Tradition plays a big role in our en- couple hit hard by the poor economy. 29-DEC. 7 Art & Soul 5th Annual Invitational Women’s tertainment during this time of year too. Movies Despite this, both want to get a special Center of Jacksonville, Jax like A Christmas Story and It’s a Wonderful Life Christmas present for the other. Unfortu- 29-DEC. 8 Santaland Diaries Limelight Theatre, St. play on a loop in most homes and I don’t know of nately, all the scrimping and saving the Augustine any other time of year when I would listen to Bing two have secretly done has amounted Crosby on purpose. One of my family’s traditions to very little. In order to give their loved 30-DEC. 9 St. Johns County Festival of Trees Convention Center, St. Augustine is to see a holiday-themed performance. Last year one the perfect gift, each sacrifices their it was A Christmas Carol at the Alhambra. The year most beloved treasure. Balthasar (Gerald 29-DEC. 14 Coastal Florida Revisited-Works by Henry before that it was a concert at the Landing. This Eubanks), a wise homeless man whose life inter- new company promises to bring the best of classic VonGenk, III Stellers Gallery, Neptune Beach year we headed out to the newly reopened St. Au- sects with the couple’s, serves as our narrator. and contemporary theatre to the area. One such 29-DEC. 15 Palencia’s Annual Holiday Show Homes gustine Amphitheatre for Theatre Saint Augustine’s The play also features Grayson Ross as wig-maker production they are hoping to revive is The Cross Palancia, St. Augustine production of Gift of the Magi. Madame Sofronie. and the Sword, Florida’s official state play. That 29-DEC. 15 Constructions: Geryl Goldsleger & Larry Millard In this adaptation of the classic O. Henry Gift of the Magi is Theatre Saint Augustine’s particular piece hasn’t been performed in a decade FCCJ South Gallery, Jax short story we’re transported back to Christmas, inaugural production. Founded earlier this year, the due to lack of funding. Theatre Saint Augustine will also be developing programs, workshops and 29-DEC. 30 Art from the Ashes: In Stabiano, Exploring the Ancient Seaside Villas of the Roman Elite Cummer Museum, classes to help build St. Johns County’s theatrical Jax community. The company is no doubt off to a great start. 29-DEC. 30 The Gift of the Magi The Amphitheatre, St. A third performance of Gift of the Magi had to be Augustine added to accommodate all who wanted to see 29-DEC. 31 Winter Selections Exhibition J. Johnson Gallery, the play on Winter Wonderland’s opening night. Jax Beach On my way into the evening’s final presentation, I 29-DEC. 31 Spanish Pathways Museum of History, Amelia overheard people on the way out commenting on Island how great the show was. I can’t say I disagree. 29-DEC. 31 Hugh Holborn-Spirit Celebration Holborn The performances were admittedly a bit shaky at Gallery, St. Augustine times, most likely due to opening night jitters, but all in all the play was delightful. This particular 29-DEC. 31 Will Dickey-Images of Florida’s First Coast First Street Gallery, Jax Beach adaptation called for Jim and Della to do some a cappella singing and both Ramey and Meade do a Museum, Jax wonderful job. Naturally, the show hinges on these 29-JAN. 5 Expressions of Italy Village Gallery, Orange Park two roles and these actors pull it off thanks to a 29-JAN. 6 Sculptor: Minoru Ohira Exhibit MOCA, Jax great deal of chemistry and charm. In supporting roles, Eubanks embraces the character of wise 29-JAN. 30 “Blurring the Lines” Photography by Heather old Balthasar with gusto and Ross’s Madame So- Blanton & Ryan Ketterman JIA, Jax fronie was an audience favorite, despite her limited 29-FEB. 3 In Stabiano: Exploring Ancient Seaside Villas of the time on stage. The play itself is brief, clocking in Roman Elite Cummer Museum, Jax at around a half an hour, so young theatre-goers 29-FEB. 28 Oh Say Can You See: American Art Cummer should have no problem sitting through the show. Museum, Jax Both my five and three-year-old were captivated 29 Christmas Choral Concert JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax by the story and the ever-changing sets – they’d never seen a revolving set before and were amazed 29 2007 Art & Antiques Show Prime Osborn, Jax each time the lights came up to reveal a new room. 29 The Great American Jazz Series-Kurt Elling UNF Fine Of all the things to see and do at Winter Won- Arts Center, Jax derland, Theatre Saint Augustine’s Gift of the Magi 29 Artist Reception for Mikolean Longacre Regions Bank, is the one most likely to get you into the holiday Fernandina Beach spirit. The heartwarming tale is perfect for family viewing and is a fine way to begin the season. 29 The Great American Jazz Series-Kurt Elling UNF Fine Gift of the Magi is currently being performed Arts Center, Jax at Winter Wonderland at the St. Augustine Amphi- 29-DEC. 3 Cross Pollination: New Paintings By Brittni Wood theatre in the 56-seat Legacy Room. Because of Jane Gray Gallery, Jax the limited seating, be sure to arrive early to be 30 Benefit Children’s Home Society-Shop San Marco guaranteed a chair. Performances are Fridays and Prudential Network Realty/San Marco, Jax Saturdays at 7 and 8 pm and Sundays at 2 and 4 pm. Tickets are just $5.

28 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper GK: Each evening I see wives dragging their husbands…and you can tell sometimes the husbands aren’t too thrilled about being there, culture & arts and then, I can see from my vantage point when the pirates come on stage, they light up and they 30 Opening Reception 8th Street Art Gallery 39 E. 8th St., Jax turn into little kids. They get excited. I think it’s a 30-DEC. 15 “It’s A Wonderful Life” Players By the Sea, Jax cathartic thing. The whole play is about having Beach lost touch with your childhood, and your sense of wonder and magic, spontaneity. And you see these husbands at the end of the show, they’re cheering DECEMBER and they just look so happy. That’s a thrill to me, to 1 Feast of Carols UNF Fine Arts Center, Jax be part of that feeling and experience. 1 Winter Celebration-Music, Fun, History & Nature Mandarin EU: What are the similarities and differences Museum, Mandarin between the two characters you play: Mr. Darling, 1 Kuhn’s Holiday Open House Beach Blvd./Jacksonville the father of Wendy and her brothers, and the 1 Festival of Trees Children’s Story Time Main Library, Jax notorious Captain Hook? GK: Mr. and Mrs. Darling are on their way to a fancy 1 Tonglen Meditation Karma Thegsum Choling, Jax dinner party at his place of business. They’re very 1 Young Musicians Auditions Friday Musicale, Jax well-to-do, upper class but not super rich. They 1 Morning Christmas Jazz Concert St. Augustine Plaza, St. have a maid and a brownstone with several floors Augustine and a cook, all that sort of thing. So they have 1 Grand Illumination Government House, St. Augustine some money. But he’s terribly worried about losing his job if he isn’t dressed right, if he doesn’t look 1 Bonsai 101 Zoo, Jax right…The children are having fun and dancing, 1 Christmas Parade Mission of Nombre de Dios, St. the mother is dancing and he’s all concerned about Augustine business. Yet, you can tell he has kind of a longing 1 St. Augustine Beach Surf Illumination A1A Beach, St. to be part of the fun…To me Captain Hook is Mr. Augustine Darling on steroids. [Hook] is a dreamland, almost a nightmare version of Mr. Darling. If you really lose 1-2 Art & Craft Festival –TNT Events The Amphitheatre, St. i can fly! touch with your sense of play and become a real Augustine grown up bully, you turn into Captain Hook…So 1-9 Play It Again Sam Amelia Community Theatre, Amelia they’re very much the same character…[although] Island the physicality is very different for Captain Hook. 1-DEC. 15 “It’s A Wonderful Life” Players By The Sea, Jax Peter Pan at the Thrasher-Horne Beach Call the Thrasher-Horne at (904) 276-6750 for 2 39th Annual Christmas Tour of Homes Mission of Nombre tickets and follow the second star on the right until de Dios, St. Augustine by Erin thursby [email protected] you get to Orange Park for this magical show. 2 Slice of Life Show Art Association, St. Augustine What: Peter Pan and Wendy. The musical version of the play wasn’t When: December 7th @ 7:30 pm staged until 1954. Only a few incidental songs were 2 Safam in Concert Beth Shalom Congregation, Jax Where: Thrasher Horne to be added, but it turned into a full-blown musical 2 11th Annual Florida Telco Festival of Lights 5K & Fun Run and vehicle for Mary Martin, who played Peter Pan Baptist Eye Institute, Jax I was just three years-old the first time I saw in the original musical version. 3 Lecture Series-Alexandria Von Hawk Cultural Center, Peter Pan on stage, starring Sandy Duncan. For We had the chance to speak with Gary Ponte Vedra months afterwards my mother had to watch me Kimble, the actor who will play Captain Hook 4 Orchestra Concert JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax very closely, because I’d gotten into the habit of and Mr. Darling in the upcoming Thrasher-Horne jumping off of stairwells and the highest pieces of performance. 4 Lecture-What the Heck is Printmaking Anyway? JU Fine living room furniture in ill-fated attempts to fly. Arts Center, Jax The magic of Peter Pan captures not just the EU: What’s your favorite thing about playing 5 Luminary Night The Lighthouse, St. Augustine youngest in the audience, but adults as well. After Captain Hook? 5 Opening Reception: Africa’s Living Arts Ritz Theatre & La all, kids aren’t going to feel themes about the loss GK: I think it was the sense of abandon, you know, Villa Museum, Jax of childhood as deeply as adults, who have already being a grown man and getting to run around, act 5 Benefit Concert For JSO UNF Lazzara Hall, Jax gone through it. like a buffoon and carry on. It’s a lot of fun it’s During this production you’ll see the usual very silly and the costume is wonderful. it’s such 5-JAN. 31 Featured Artist: Charley Harris The Art Center, flying with the help of a dash of fairy dust, the an iconic role and to get to flesh this out, this great Jax antics of Hook and his pirates, and the proud Tiger icon, as Captain Hook himself says—‘the greatest 6 First Coast Wind Holiday Concert JU Terry Concert Hall, Lily. villain of all time.’ I’m just thrilled to play that. Jax Playwright J. M. Barrie (1860–1937) first 6 Frank Matthews & Gail Taylor Bogda Gallery, Jax presented Peter Pan on the stage in 1904. In 1911, EU: What would you say to those that think this Barrie novelized the play into a book, Peter Pan show is just for little kids? 6 Cocktails & Creatives-AIGA European Street/San Marco, Jax 6 Ritz Chamber Players Opening Concert Performing Arts Center, Jax 6-8 International Fest of Cinema & Technology 9th & Main, Jax 7JU Opera Studio-Opera Scenes JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax 7 “Art”rageous First Friday Downtown, Fernandina 7 The Pillowman Body Gallery, Jax 7 Christmas Concert Friday Musicale, Jax 7 Amateur Night at the Ritz The Ritz Theatre, Jax 7-9 Amahl & the Night Visitors-UNF Opera UNF fine Arts Center, Jax 7-16 An O-Henry Christmas ABET, Atlantic Beach 7-JAN. 12 First Annual Artist Member Holiday Exhibition Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 29 THE JOCK

by tom weppel

Here’s the truth. I basically come from a family of native foreigners. It’s pretty much why I am the way I am. Why I love to travel so much. Why I have this itch to see different places around the world and, on occasion, live in those places. My dad is the original native foreigner. I might be stretching the meaning of the phrase. In my case, I guess it means a person who has finally returned home after years away. But in my father’s Random thoughts from a cluttered mind... 7-4, they are right on the heels of the Steelers in the case, he never made it back. So, he has become a native of another place, this place we call Jackson- Division and have a good shot at a wild card berth in ville. He grew up in Indiana, but moved here at the ripe age of eighteen, looking for a career in rock and JAGUARS the playoffs. A lot of this can be attributed to Browns roll and he never looked back. Although he did look all around the rest of the world, making a life for Since the Jaguars beat Buffalo last week, all QB Derek Anderson, who has emerged as a solid himself traveling six months out of the year. So I think it must be in my blood. you hear now is how the boys are so looking for- starter. Anderson has made all the preseason talk And not just my blood, either. Both of my sisters love to travel as well. One is only fifteen, but ward to playing the Colts and how the Jags want to about Brady Quinn non-existent. Credit must also she has already seen more of the world than any other fifteen year old I know. The other, older sister win the Division. Be very, very careful what you wish be given to RB Jamal Lewis, who is running the ball has successfully moved to four of the country’s most prominent cities. After four years of Tallahassee, for, people! well. Cleveland heads to the desert to play the Cardi- three years of New York City, and two years of DC, my sister has become a native foreigner of another The Jaguars are certainly looking like they have nals this weekend. kind, by marrying a man from Denver. She’s now become native through association. the talent and the ability to play good football. David The Green Bay/Dallas game was played for That’s how I wound up spending my Thanksgiving holiday in Denver, CO. When we got there, it Garrard is a very sharp QB, being the only signal- bragging rights and a chance to host the NFC Con- was snowing. Two days prior, it had been 78 degrees Fahrenheit and sunny. But I wasn’t complaining. I caller who has not thrown an interception this sea- ference Championship game, as it seems both teams can’t even remember the last time I’ve seen snow fall. It’s been years. So, despite the freezing tempera- son. He has thrown to a variety of wide receivers, as will get there for another showdown in January. tures that dipped into the teens, it made me feel like I was in a winter wonderland. It was wonderful-- the Jags don’t have one particular go-to guy. Their when I wasn’t shivering. passing game is maturing. It now is a nice comple- COLLEGE FOOTBALL The first thing we did to keep the blood flowing through our veins was hit up the Breckinridge ment to their running game, which still is productive. This weekend will feature a number of Confer- Brewery. It’s a tradition that every time I go to Denver I visit a brewery. It was grey, snowing, and freez- Their Defense is also solid, as they have been ence Championship games. Locally, we will see the ing. Beers were on special for two dollar Wednesdays. There was some strange and interesting fan/ able to provide depth for two of their missing start- ACC come into town, with Boston College facing heater contraption. And tastings were free. ers, LB Mike Peterson, and DT Marcus Stroud. Their Virginia Tech. It will be a rematch of their contest After a few rounds an employee kneeled down by our table and said, “So you guys want to see secondary has firmed up and as they head into the played back in October, won by the Eagles. While the Brewery?” stretch run, the Jags are looking good for a playoff both teams are certainly strong, as college football is “Absolutely,” we said in unison. Brew tours were usually by appointment only, but we were spot with an 8-3 record. these days, with the unprecedented parity, the game squeezing our way on to a specialized “friends” tour that the man was giving his friends and us as well. While the Colts are not as strong as they were will not attract a strong amount of local interest, in We got to climb on the equipment. We got to feel all the hops. We got our picture taken by a world-re- last season, due to injury, they still are a formidable my unbiased opinion. This is still an SEC/Gator town, nowned photographer (a “friend”). We even got to see the CEO’s office. It was basically the best brew ball club. Last week Peyton Manning got both WR by and large, and local college football fans feel the tour I have ever been on. We literally saw it all. Marvin Harrison and TE Dallas Clark back on the SEC is the stronger conference if you were to match The next day was Thanksgiving. We ate a lot of food. We drank Bloody Marys. I discovered red field to throw to, and their Defense has done a fairly them up. beer (basically a bloody with beer instead of vodka). I met and mingled with a lot of my new extended good job, all things considered. That said, The Hokies come into this game on a family. We walked around the neighborhood in sub-degree weather to rid ourselves of the Turkey About a month ago, the Colts came into No- roll, being ranked above all other SEC squads, except Slump. And we played trivial pursuit. I learned that it takes two men to mount the horse simultaneously Name Stadium and beat the Jags 29-7. I’m sure all Georgia. Virginia Tech will also be out for a little ven- in an accurate game of elephant polo. I also learned I am terrible at trivial pursuit. That’s the (sad) truth the players have that game fresh in their memory. geance, since their loss to BC was in Blacksburg and about me and most games. Jack Del Rio has a lot of respect for Tony Dungy, their home turf. BC has a strong QB in Matt Ryan. We made sure to partake in Black Friday via Cherry Creek, an overextended marriage of Avondale having played for him when Dungy was a coach with They should be able to give Va. Tech a good run. It meets the Town Center. We took in dinner at Rioja on Larimer St. in downtown Denver. I dare to say it the Vikings. I actually think that still is an element should be a good game to watch, even if you don’t was better than Thanksgiving. It was delicious out of this world, like if Biscotti’s only served entrees all that comes into play when these teams meet. Del care much. the time. Plus some. And we ended the night by driving through downtown looking at the Christmas Rio needs to tweak his approach, perhaps, to get a The SEC Championship will be played in At- lights strung across every prominent building in sight. It was pretty gaudy (truthfully, aren’t they all?) win. lanta. This game will almost be a joke, if you want but beautiful nonetheless. Over the last five years the Jaguars are 1-4 to know the truth. LSU comes in after a devastating On our last day of Colorado rocky mountain high, we ran some errands. I closed a bank account. playing the Colts in Indy, with their only win coming loss to Arkansas in Baton Rouge, while the Vols I picked up some things from the cleaners. We picked out a Christmas tree. Oh, and we went to the in 2004. It is not an easy place to win a game, for barely got past Kentucky in 4 overtimes. On top of candy factory, Hammond’s, the nation’s largest supplier of handmade candies. And naturally, we took a sure. The Colts want to keep their position solidly that both teams are ranked below the Georgia Bull- tour. We sampled some tasty flavors as we took the tiny fifty foot tour from behind glass walls, watch- entrenched at the top of the AFC South Division. And dogs! So, tell me how this game has any significant ing the candy makers boil and spin and fold and mold the little delectables into the wonderful morsels so we shall see how things turn out in what should meaning? we were chewing on. We wound down, preparing for our red eye flight home, by watching the Tim be quite an entertaining contest this Sunday after- Then you have the Big 12 Championship Tebow show and playing some scrabble. noon. game featuring the #1 ranked Missouri Tigers and It was an amazing vacation. I did amazing things and spent time with some of the most amazing the Oklahoma Sooners, a team that beat the Tigers people in the world, my family. But the truth of the matter is, as great as all that was, it was just like ‘THE OTHER THIRTY ONE’ earlier in the season. If Missouri wins, they are in being any other place. We ate, drank, and were merry. We saw the town. We went on some tours. But The Tennessee Titans have lost their last three the BCS Championship in New Orleans. If they don’t, these are all things that can be done, and are done, here in Jacksonville. games and things aren’t going too well in Nashville then maybe we’ll even see Ohio State sneak in. I think that’s the best thing about all the traveling I’ve done. I now feel like a native foreigner pretty these days. After thinking that Jeff Fisher was solidly Somebody will have to play West Virginia, much anywhere I go. Because, if you remove the landscape and you rearrange the name, anywhere entrenched as Head Coach for the Titans, it may be which will be going to the Bayou after they beat could really be anywhere else. And although the experience is always different, life is life, and it’s lived possible for the boy to be replaced. Tennessee will Pittsburgh this weekend to win the Big East. all over the world just like the rest of us. One day at a time, with some good times in between. And host Houston this weekend. Tom Weppel talks trash with Greg Larson, that’s the truth. Many people have failed to realize that the Lonnie Marts, Eugene Chung, Artis Gilmore, and Cleveland Browns are actually a pretty good team. At Ron Duguay on SportsAvengers.com 24/7.

30 november 29-december 5, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper nascar news & notes by RICHARD TEAGUE [email protected] I hope that all of you had a nice Thanksgiving there are also the emotions and feelings that he will and that the turkey is about gone so you won’t have need to spread out. It’s going to be a thing to watch to keep eating them sandwiches any longer. Don’t these four guys next year and how Rick interacts get me wrong, sliced bird between two pieces of with all of them. Batter Whipped with lots of mayo, salt and pepper is Now for Ward Burton. He must have been one of my favorite things, but like they say, too much thankful about having a ride in 2007, even if he didn’t of a good thing… We had our family get together make every race. He was in 16 of them. After a long like most people do, but we went to a cafeteria so I layoff and a car for a season, I know he was glad, wouldn’t have to do the cleaning up after dinner. My but there hasn’t been anything said about next year. wife Ann always takes our Granddaughter Jennifer to Me mate Pete in Australia were thankful, along with Orlando after our feast and the job is left for me, but Wardie (as we call him), to be back in a racecar. this way I got the afternoon to recover from the meal When Pete and his wife Deb came to the States this instead of putting everything away. That worked out year, he got to go to Morgan-McClure Motorsports real good. It might become a new tradition. near Abingdon, Va. and actually touch the car that At this time of year I wish that I was a big time Burton raced. He got a grand tour of the facilities NA$CAR columnist or TV commentator and all the with pictures and all, so he was very thankful and drivers and owners knew me so I could ask what excited about that. Now we have to wait and see they were thankful for. Since I’m not and they don’t, what will happen with Ward in the upcoming Chase I just have to make guesses about their thoughts. season.. Here are a few of the things that might be in their Let me see here, how about Juan Pablo Mon- minds this Thanksgiving. Let me start with a big toya? Even if he is a Columbian and might not know name driver and work along. Dale Earnhardt Jr. has what a Pilgrim is, he is still a NA$CAR driver, so got to be thankful that he kept his image and popu- maybe he’s thankful at this time of year also. He larity after the battle at DEI when most fans thought should be. He’s probably learned more English this he was DEI. The funny thing is, they’ll be there next year and is thankful for that. How about winning a season, won’t they? You know he’s glad there was Cup race in his rookie season? That don’t happen to a job MADE open after he talked with Rick Hendrick. everyone. I know Chipper is having him come back As one of my readers wrote, “It’s like okay, I bought next season, which doesn’t happen to a rookie all myself a trophy.” the time either. At 32 this youngster is still a kid to Now Teresa Earnhardt must be thankful that me. He has plenty to be thankful for. Unbeknownst to Ginn Racing went under and she snapped the team him, I am thinking of replacing Jimmie Johnson with up and got Mark Martin to replace Jr in the number Juan, even if he doesn’t drive a Chevrolet. Gosh, I eight car for 2008. I wonder how many times Mark’s hope Ganassi ain’t switching to Toyota, cause that engine will blow next year? And you know that Mark might change things. is thankful for the chance to drive for DEI. A real Martin Truex Jr should be thankful that he team with real equipment. Heck, he just might win didn’t leave with Dale Jr and Kyle Busch. Seeing Rick the Daytona 500 next year, ya’ think? Hendrick’s real colors is something they both need Now Jimmie Johnson has got to be thankful to be thankful for. Jack Roush, Ray Evernham and for those six wins before the Chase started. Without Robert Ya’tes started a trend that will continue for them he could have started in fourth place instead seasons to come by signing on big money partners, of 20 points ahead of Gordon. I was never too happy you know they’re thankful. A few people in NA$CAR about letting the winner of a pre-Chase race “double weren’t so thankful this Turkey Day. Take Joe Nem- dip” with a win. Five points for a race win should be echek and Sterling Marlin. Those two guys still gave enough, but to go and add twice that many for the thanks at dinner last Thursday, but there had to be Chase position format just seems to blow. NA$CAR, some ill will about losing their team and all. Don’t or rather, Brian France will keep playing with this ya’’ know that if they could have met up with Bobby stuff until the whole thing blows up in their face. Ginn in a dark alley before last week, their list of Hopefully we can go back to the old way. Jimmie thankful things would have been longer. had to be happy with it this season and it contributed Me, I’m thankful for another season of NA$CAR to his repeat of last year. and all the great racing, dumb driving, stupid rumors I need to interject right here about Johnson and all the stuff that I love about this sport. Being being one of my guys. I’m thinking about dropping thankful is something that we all are and not just his butt for many reasons. First, like somebody about the nice things that happen to or for us. It is told me and I didn’t really realize, he’s becoming about the things that we take for granted in life. The somewhat arrogant. Also, I don’t like shopping at love that God gives us everyday and the freedom Lowe’s anymore. He used to be just a nice young we have as Americans. Thanksgiving is the start of rookie and seemed to be the same as any person, the Big Three, as I put it. Christmas and New Year but it appears that things change after you win a are just around the corner. The Birth of Jesus Christ Cup Championship. I would be happy just to have being the Greatest Day of all. What’s even greater is an Lowe’s employee I could find to ask, but that is that we get to celebrate it every year on December rare at Lowe’s. You never can find anyone to ask. 25th. Yup, in just a couple of weeks it’s Christmas. If you do they send ya’ to another joker who sends I hope to have my NA$CAR Driver’s gift list in print you to someone else. Seems like when I’m headed and also my yearly Night Before Christmas poem in for the next guy, I happen to find what I’m looking for my column before then, so ya’ better be nice and ya’ by accident. Another thing about Johnson is that he better keep up. beat Jeff Gordon out for the championship. Jeff will That’s all for this week. Just a note, the talks always be my driver. with my editor are going smoothly and soon I hope Well Rick Hendrick must be thankful to have to be able to share the outcome with y’all, but my captured Junior for 2008. He’s also got to be wor- fingers are sealed this week. Drop an email to me ried about how he’s going to split everything up with if ya’ like at you-know-where. Like all season (and his guys. Not only will he have to share information throughout the raceless winter season) if it ain’t and technology (along with money) with his drivers, NA$CAR, It ain’t s**t!!

eujacksonville.com | november 29-december 5, 2007 31