ANNUAL CONFERENCE IN SEATTLE

The International Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc. Vol. XX, No. 3, 2001 $5.00 THE PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE AT THE SEATTLE CONFERENCE: NDES IN THE Dreaming in Seattle MEDICAL PROFESSION Bill Taylor by Pam Kircher, M.D.

r. Bob Brumblay, an emergency room hile attending the IANDS Annual Conference physician from Hawaii, told this year’s in Seattle I had a wonderful dream. I was being IANDS conference how his attempts Dto understand his wife’s near-death experience revived on an operating table in the hospital and had just rWeturned to my body from somewhere out in the universe. As I looked up at eventually led him to a new theory of human the doctor who had revived me, I felt afraid to tell him of this very personal perception. And Seattle pediatrician Dr. Melvin event. To my surprise he asked me if anything unusual happened while I was Morse confessed to having been skeptical initially practically dead. I cautiously described what had happened to me and how I when children resuscitated by him described their had floated above my body and traveled far away, met a light being and later NDEs—but by now Morse has heard so many returned to my body. He said he had studied this phenomenon in medical such stories from his young patients that research- school, and that he knew of other patients with similar experiences. He in- ing the NDE has become a major focus of his troduced me to a nurse who provided me with information, resources, and career, and has fundamentally altered his locations of support groups where I could meet and talk about this if I wanted worldview. to. They offered support in explaining my near-death event to my family, In such ways, several doctors and nurses and could provide them with the latest research findings describing possible shared with this year’s conference how NDEs changes in my outlook on life. They assured me that I was not crazy, and that have affected their lives, professionally as well as I may experience difficulties in readjusting to life and relating to others. This personally. was normal for “near-death experiencers” they said. Then my dream changed. I found myself in a place where there were Continued on page 2 many experiencers gathered together, and we were working to create a new vision. We were organizing ourselves, to help humanity and work together Inside This Issue with programs to increase health, awareness, and perception. We were creat- Remembering the Seattle Conference: ing a new vision of world compassion, understanding, and love. We were using the love we know so well and expressing it to the world, for the world. NDEs in the Medical Profession ...... 1 I finally awoke, thankful that I was not sleepless. Are NDErs Out of Their Minds?...... 4 Sincerely, Bill Taylor Legislator Pam Barrett ...... 5 Experiencer Couples...... 6 Am I the Only One? ...... 8 IANDS’ mission is to respond to people’s needs for Research Request ...... 10 information and support concerning Near-Death and similar experiences. IANDS encourages multi-disci- Essay Competition ...... 10 plinary explorations, interpretations and the recogni- My Out-of-Body Experiences ...... 11 tion of the experiences as genuine and significant Another Look ...... 14 events of rich meaning. Starting an IANDS Support Group ...... 16 Page 2 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

NDES IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION At a separate session, Chicago nurse Continued from page 1 Linda Morris reported on her Ph.D. the- sis research, which examined the re- To give another example, Colorado sponse of nurses in eight Chicago-area family physician Dr. Pam Kircher related hospitals to patients who’d had NDEs. how realizing in adulthood that her own Morris discovered that not only do pa- Vital Signs childhood NDE had profoundly shaped tients tell nurses about NDEs, but nurses her life’s values led her to finally talk often perceive a “glow” around patients Vital Signs is a publication of The International about NDEs with her medical col- as they die. [The nurse treating well- Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc. leagues. That in turn moved her to work known Swiss psychologist Carl Jung tes- (IANDS), PO Box 502, East Windsor Hill, in hospices, where she found NDEs and tified to this same glow-observation – re- Connecticut, USA, 06028, (860) 644-5216. It is distributed quarterly to persons and institutions ADCs (after-death ported on page 3 of holding membership in the Association. Copyright communications) to Vital Signs Issue #1 of © 2001 by the International Association for Near- be extremely common Nurses tended to be the 2001]. Death Studies, Inc. Editor, Elizabeth W. Fenske, Ph.D among patients and most helpful people Morris’ thesis Design & Production, Fox Computer Systems their families. to tell. work has led her to Board of Directors Officers So at this year’s want to help other President, Bill Taylor conference, Dr. health-care profession- First Vice President, Chris Carson Kircher facilitated a discussion among als become aware of the experiences pa- Second Vice President, Jeff Long, M.D. Secretary, Pam Kircher, M.D. forty health-care professionals about re- tients and nurses are sharing. She iden- Treasurer, Linda Jacquin actions they encountered when acknowl- tified several ways that health-care pro- Board Members: edging NDEs on the job. Some reported viders can be of assistance to NDErs. Paul Bernstein, Ph.D. Chris Carson increasing openness to NDEs, while oth- These include (1) understanding that Chuck Gaylord, M.A. ers still encounter resistance. The discus- patients initially may be confused about Jan Holden, Ed.D. sants agreed that it is very helpful to find their experience, (2) understanding that Linda Jacquin Debbie James, M.S.N. colleagues in their area to trust with such patients often are aware of what’s going Pam Kircher, M.D. difficult problems. Many were encour- on around them even when considered Jeff Long, M.D. aged by current research on NDEs. One unconscious, (3) not dismissing the Barbara Rommer, M.D. Edward Salisbury, D.Div. suggested that physicians would become NDEs as merely side-effects of medica- Bill Taylor more receptive to NDEs if their patients tions or as hallucinations, (4) validating Karl Williamson, M.S. insisted on telling them of their NDEs— their experience, and (5) listening to their Editor of the Journal of Near-Death Studies, Bruce Greyson, M.D. so that the profession would become experiences in a nonjudgmental way. Administrative Director, Anneliese Fox “flooded with NDEs.” The attendees Later in the conference, Debbie IANDS is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization devoted to the encouragement of research, were reminded that the IANDS office James, a critical care nurse from San education, and public information in the field of has wallet-sized cards which NDErs can Antonio, Texas, spoke of how her un- near-death studies and to the emotional and carry to show their medical providers derstanding of NDEs had helped her be- psychological support of individuals who have had a near-death experience. what an NDE is and to alert them to its come comfortable with people deciding A General Membership in IANDS is $45 per common after-effects, including in- about donating their organs and patients year ($55 outside the US and Canada), which creased sensitivity to several medications. who receive organs. Transplant recipients includes a subscription to Vital Signs, access to the Networking List and other services, and The discussants agreed that nurses often sometimes deeply sense the personality discounts on major conferences. A Research are much more receptive to patients’ characteristics of their anonymous do- Membership is $80 ($90 non-US and Canada) NDE stories than are doctors. The re- nors. Understanding the reality of NDEs and includes a subscription to the quarterly Journal of Near-Death Studies in addition to the newsletter cent work on awareness of end-of-life is- has helped Ms. James be more receptive and other services. Student (high school/college) sues in America (through Bill Moyers’ to such experiences. By sensitive listen- and senior memberships (65 years +) are also TV series Dying in America, and through ing, she has found that transplant recipi- available at a $10 discount. Letters and contributions to Vital Signs are advance directives) has helped people be- ents often are made more comfortable invited. All manuscripts, review copies, reprints, come somewhat more open to talking by being given true details about their and information items should be addressed to the Editor. Submission of material does not guarantee about death. As that openness develops, donor, especially if they are already sens- its publication. awareness of NDEs and ADCs might ing things about them. Web—http://www.iands.org naturally increase. And in turn, increased James’ master’s thesis focused on e-mail—[email protected] ISSN: 1532-09IX awareness of NDEs and ADCs could how patients’ first telling of their NDE greatly decrease people’s fears of death and had been responded to, and how that re- could enlarge their perceptions of life. sponse later influenced their integration Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 3 of the experience. She found that nurses meditators, and produces feelings of not be more dimensions, a principle in tended to be the most helpful people to expanded consciousness, shown de- fact supported by present-day physicists. tell, but their reactions were not invari- cades ago by Wilder Penfield’s neuro- From these vignettes of six sessions ably sensitive. People often want to talk logical experiments. It may also be the at the Seattle conference, it is clear that about their NDE as soon as it occurs, part of the brain that allows us to in- NDEs are not only of clinical interest to but if their first telling is met with skep- teract with one another at a distance, the medical profession, but they are ticism or negativity, they often won’t risk and is possibly the changing the lives of telling others. As a nurse working in a area that is stimulated nurses and doctors cardiac care unit, James feels that her during the out-of- NDEs are changing the who have been current mission is to help other health- body portion of an opened to their sig- lives of nurses and care providers learn about NDEs so they NDE, before all brain nificance. Further- can be helpful to the many patients who activity ceases. Dr. doctors. more, clinicians are undergo NDEs during cardiac arrests. To Morse suggested that now looking at how that end, she speaks about NDEs at this lobe constantly theories about NDEs many health care conferences through- interacts with patterns in nature that might inform our understanding of brain out the country. lead to the seemingly miraculous in- functioning, and how the NDE phe- Dr. Jeff Long, another presenter at stantaneous healings sometimes ac- nomenon accords with new develop- the conference, is a physician in Tacoma, companied by out-of-body experi- ments in physics and philosophy. There Washington who became curious about ences. For that reason, it should be- was a general feeling of optimism among NDEs a few years ago and created a re- come an important area of study for the health care providers that we are on search web site (www.nderf.org) on mind-body medicine. Dr. Morse’s the verge of a paradigm shift in medi- which experiencers are invited to record conclusion is that deep mystical expe- cine that can lead to a broader accep- their NDEs in detail. His work with the riences occur in the right temporal lobe tance of NDEs in the clinical setting. site has grown to the extent that he now and that we may be biologically “wired describes himself as a man with two full- for a God connection.” Morse has time jobs! What he has learned from the published his latest theories in the NDE narratives received there has greatly book, Where God Lives: The Science of influenced how he approaches patients the Paranormal and How Our Brains in his practice of radiation oncology. It Are Linked to the Universe. also has influenced how he views the At his afternoon presentation, Dr. world. He has learned that relationships Bob Brumblay, the Hawaii emergency are the reason most NDErs choose to room physician, compared the conven- return to earth, and that our immersion tional worldview that rejects NDEs and in the interconnectedness of life is a other mystical experiences to the time prime concern. before humans understood that the earth During his morning keynote ad- was round. Of course our perception at dress, Dr. Melvin Morse, the Seattle the time that the earth was flat didn’t pre- pediatrician, explained that he had be- vent the true reality that the earth was, come so engrossed by the testimony of indeed, round. Similarly, mainstream his child patients—some as young as science’s reluctance to accept NDEs as three years old—that he was moved to real doesn’t negate their continued oc- compile them into a book (published currence. Dr. Brumblay used the book in 1990 as Closer to the Light: Learn- Flatlands to build his analogies about ing from the Near-Death Experiences of perception. In a two-dimensional world, Children). Now Dr. Morse speaks of a we would not be able to see the front paradigm shift emerging. This shift in- and back of things that we can see cludes the view that humans are meant in our three-dimensional world. Like- to have mystical experiences because wise, during an NDE people can per- we have a part of our brain specifically ceive more than our customary three di- devoted to that task, the deep right mensions, so their perceptions seem to temporal lobe which takes up 11-15% us to penetrate solids and to transcend Presenters Jayne Smith and Nancy Bush at the of our brain. This is the same area that time. Our everyday life is three-dimen- Seattle conference shows increased activity in experienced sional, but that doesn’t mean there can- Page 4 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3 ARE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCERS OUT OF THEIR in the traits of absorption and fantasy proneness than the control group. BODIES OR OUT OF THEIR MINDS? Fourth, early research linked NDEs with drug-induced hallucinations. For ex- by Bruce J. Horacek, Ph.D. ample, Ron Siegel of UCLA often would take quotations from NDErs and drug ruce Greyson, M.D., Bonner trips out of context to show their simi- Lowry Professor of Personal- larities but would fail to note the pro- ity Studies at the University found differences between the two. Bof Virginia School of Medicine, gave the People on LSD do not feel transformed first presentation in the newly established by the experience, they do not encoun- C. Bruce Greyson Lectureship created by ter deceased relatives, do not feel part of the IANDS Board to honor Bruce, and something greater than themselves, etc. to honor speakers at future conferences So drug trips are only superficially like who have done outstanding near-death NDEs. A fifth condition linked to NDEs research. Bruce Greyson (right) receiving lifetime service is brief psychotic disorders, but these do In a talk that was detailed, precise, award from Bill Taylor, IANDS president. not have the sophistication nor complex- and very entertaining, Dr. Greyson gave ity of NDEs. So, while there are some an excellent summary of his recent re- things,” hold strange beliefs, experience similarities between these five mental search on dissociative symptoms re- changed roles, and so forth; but there disorders and NDEs, the data shows that ported by NDErs as distinct from men- are major differences. Yes, a person can they are not one and the same thing. tal disorders. For those who would like be both an NDEr and be mentally ill. Namely, data shows that NDErs do not to follow up his talk with the data, see But there are objective criteria one can differ markedly from control groups on his articles entitled Dissociation in People use to distinguish between having an these five traits. Who Have Near-Death Experiences in NDE and having a mental illness. There Furthermore, Greyson cited research The Lancet (February 5, 2000); and The are several mental conditions that are which shows that NDErs and the con- Near-Death Experience as a Focus of Clini- speculatively linked to NDEs. For ex- trol groups have similar profiles regard- cal Attention in The Journal of Nervous ample, “dissociation”—feeling detached ing the number of suicide attempts, cur- and Mental Disease, Vol 185, No. 5 from yourself, as in de- rent psychiatric diag- (1997). personalization. Disso- noses, current psycho- Dr. Greyson’s talk covered four ar- ciation is a very com- Data show that NDEs logical symptoms, pre- eas: 1) similarities between NDEs and mon response to can be mentally vious family history of mental illness 2) methodological prob- trauma, as when a rape therapeutic. suicide attempts, EEG lems in attempting to answer this ques- victim detaches from abnormalities, and so tion 3) evidence that NDErs are not out herself during the at- forth. How about of their minds 4) evidence that NDEs tack. Another condition associated with PTSD and NDEs? On intrusive and may in fact provide some protection NDEs is post- traumatic stress disorder avoidance scores, NDErs are closer to the against becoming mentally ill. During (PTSD), including intrusive thoughts, control groups than they are to those his talk, Bruce showed a number of very flashbacks, and amnesia-like symptoms. having full blown PTSD; the latter have entertaining cartoons, including his fa- Since NDEs are often caused by trauma significantly higher scores than NDErs. mous “control group” and “out-of-con- and PTSD is caused by trauma, it would In fact, according to Greyson, there trol group” (75% of IANDS’ annual seem logical to conclude that an NDE are data that show having NDEs can be conference participants fit the latter cat- could be a PTSD experience. But Bruce mentally therapeutic. Evidence shows egory—my conclusion, not Greyson’s). showed that they are not the same thing. that having NDEs lowers distress, and And the delightful “Lassie, get help” car- A third condition is absorption or there is no doubt that NDErs have sig- toon—in the second frame Lassie is on fantasy proneness. A small majority of nificantly less death anxiety. Likewise, the psychiatrist’s couch, “getting” help. the population is extremely prone to ab- NDErs are more likely to see themselves There is no way I can do justice to sorption or fantasy when alone. So it is as part of something greater than them- all of Bruce’s data and conclusions in this easy to deduce that extreme absorption selves, which is a big help in finding short summary, so I’m going to mention may be what NDErs go through. How- meaning in life. In a sense you know just a few high points. On the issue of ever, Glenn Gabbard and Stuart people by their fruits, and NDErs ex- similarities between NDErs and those Twemlow, two psychiatrists in Kansas, hibit many positive transformations in who are mentally ill, both often “see have shown that NDErs are no different their lives. Greyson closed by repeating Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 5 that while an NDEr may occasionally be HE OLOGRAM OF XISTENCE mentally ill, an NDE is not the same as ‘T H E ’ mental illness. In my introduction to Bruce Legislator Pam Barrett’s Talk to the Conference Greyson’s talk I stated that perhaps his by Linda Jacquin biggest contribution to IANDS and NDE research is that he demonstrates n February 1, 2000, Pam what NDE research can and should be. Barrett was leader of the New Unfortunately there are persons who Democratic Party of Alberta, claim to be doing NDE research who rely OCanada. Her political life involved solely on personal observations, vague adversarial relationships with the oppo- generalizations, unsupported assump- sition party, chasing money for the next tions, wishful thinking, and just plain campaign, and trying to improve her hocus-pocus. Fortunately, we have Bruce looks for the best camera shot. But on Greyson as our yardstick as to how we that day, Pam’s life took a dramatic turn. should all do our research. She went to her dentist to have veneers put on her front teeth so her smile would be beautiful for the upcoming election. Pam Barrett After being anesthetized, and while the dentist was still working on her teeth, hyper mode trying to get information. Pam suddenly felt extremely ill. She sat She finally agreed to a live TV interview bolt upright in the chair and told the on February 7th. A surprise guest on the dentist, “I’m going to die.” She fell back show was Chris Lovelidge, leader of the into the chair, and later bolted upright Friends-of-IANDS chapter in Vancouver. again saying to her dentist, “I’m going Chris validated Pam’s NDE. In the fol- again.” She’d had an NDE. When she lowing days, Pam received 750 emails, came back, still dazed at what happened, almost as many letters and packages, and and clearly caught between the world of she stopped counting after 450 phone spirit and our earthly reality, she asked calls. Strangers sent Bibles, the Koran, the dentist if he could finish the last ve- and other religious material to help her neers before the ambulance arrived! on her spiritual search. One of the emails At the hospital, Ri- was from an chard, a staff person, ex- experiencer named plained to Pam that she Every thought, positive Cody, who eventually had suffered an allergic or negative, affects became her mentor reaction to the anesthe- everyone in the universe. and best friend. He sia. He promised to stay listened, helped her fill with her until her con- in the blanks, and dition improved. While talking with Ri- helped her get through the rough spots. chard, Pam left her body and found her- PMH Atwater’s research indicates self floating at the ceiling, looking down at that it often takes around seven years for both Richard and her own body. She was an experiencer to fully integrate the NDE amazed that she seemed to be in two places into their life. As a two-time experiencer at once, like a split screen. When she myself, I can say that if every experiencer slipped seamlessly back into her body, she had a friend like Cody, the time it takes felt as if she was punched in her solar plexus to assimilate an NDE would be lessened, by God and told, “Get on a new path.” allowing the experiencer to get on much Pam got the message loud and clear. more quickly with their soul’s purpose The next day, right after leaving the hos- for coming back. pital, she quit the Alberta Legislature and Because of her NDE, Pam told the Joe Meboe and Kim Clark Sharp with a check given to Seattle IANDS by the Boeing Company to help began an inner journey to assimilate what conference, she sees life now from a vastly fund the conference. had just happened to her. Because she was a public figure, the media went into Continued on page 6 Page 6 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

THE HOLOGRAM OF EXISTENCE EXPERIENCER COUPLES Cheryl Makin Salisbury had two Continued from page 5 NDEs, one in 1967 during an automo- Jan Holden, Ed.D. bile accident and the other in 1996 by different perspective, one she calls ‘the drowning off Kauai. Also a multiple hologram of existence.’ She explained this he purpose of this panel NDEr, Edward Salisbury’s first experi- by referring to an old-time kaleidoscope, is to explore what hap- ence accompanied an auto accident in containing bits of colored paper. As the pens and what it’s like Atlanta in 1969, his second was with a kaleidoscope turns, each piece of paper when“T an NDEr marries another NDEr.” near drowning in 1976, and his third interacts with every other piece of paper. Thus did moderator Paul Carr kick off a occurred subsequent to a surgery. They In the hologram of life every thought, sometimes humorous, sometimes deeply met after Cheryl’s 1996 NDE and have positive or negative, affects everyone in touching, hour-long look into the mar- been married four years. the universe. Therefore, after her NDE riages of three unique couples: Libby and All of the panel members had been Pam could no longer stay in the Paul Carr, Terry and Bob Ahlers, and married previously—some more than adversarial world of politics. “War is bad Cheryl and Edward Salisbury. once—to non-NDErs. Terry, in particu- and the legislature was nothing but war. Panel members be- lar, discussed how her It doesn’t have to be that way in politics, gan by describing the changes subsequent to but in our system it is, period.” She does circumstances of their Whatever we can do to her NDE played a role not judge other people, she said, “I NDEs, how they met, support each in the demise of her ear- learned to stop judging and to start do- and how long they’ve other…that’s my honor lier marriage. ing what’s right in life. What’s right in been married. Libby and my privilege. On a happier note, life is to cultivate enlightenment; and ev- drowned in a rafting ac- a theme that Paul intro- erybody gets there by their own path.” cident in 1972, and duced early in the panel In the question-and-answer period Paul died on an operating table in 1971. echoed throughout the program: because at the end of her talk, someone asked Pam They met seven years ago at an IANDS of their NDEs, all three of the panel if a country or the world would be dif- meeting in Seattle and have been mar- couples share a unique quality and de- ferent if leaders were near-death ried for four years. gree of connection. They echoed this experiencers. Pam replied, “If there was Bob Ahlers’ NDE happened in 1961 theme throughout their discussions of an experiencer running the country or when he was in the military, and Terry’s common world views, how they handle the world, there wouldn’t be a lot of ly- occurred in 1973 with a near-drowning disagreements and changes, and the na- ing going on. That’s for sure.” during a houseboat accident. They later ture of their interactions at all levels. met in Fort Hood, Texas, and have been Terry and Bob described how being married six years. knowledgeable about news and current

Some conference participants mentioned within this issue…

From left to right—front group (kneeling/lying in center): Cheryl and Edward Salisbury (pages 6-8), Anneliese Fox and Peter Tufts

Nearest standing row: Bob Brumblay (pages 1&3), Leonard and Mary Krzywosinski, Cassandra Musgrave, Vallie Taylor, Joyce Robbins

Next standing row: Annette Brandle, Pam Kircher (page 2), Bob and Terry Ahlers (pages 6-7), Jim Kephart, PMH Atwater (page 14)

Rearmost row: Janet Scollo, Debbie James (pages 2-3), Laurie Nix, Bruce Horacek (page 4), Bob Johnson. Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 7 events is a low priority for both of them, day counts; every day on the planet mat- tell you, it’s a whole lot better than those partly because of the painful negativity as- ters, and no day is to be wasted.” She [previous] 20 years”—a sentiment with sociated with many news described herself and which his wife wholeheartedly con- stories. They noted that Paul as “each other’s curred. their shared attitude rep- champion. It’s really im- At another point, an audience mem- I just know that he sees resents a definite shift portant that he do what ber asked, “I’m wondering if your rela- the world in much the from each one’s pre-NDE he feels is his life-calling tionship to each other founded in this same way. attitudes. at this point in time, and new life and new love—has it given you To an audience I need to do everything more valid and real insights as to the love member who asked dis- I can do to enable that that God has for you, through the love cretely whether both members of the to happen in his life …Conversely…he that you have for each other?” Every couple being NDErs “had somehow af- has busted his butt [to support me in a panel member responded immediately fected their physical relationship,” Paul career change]. It’s really been part of the and enthusiastically with a resounding candidly responded, “The sex is great!” respect that we show each other…Part “Yes!” He went on to explain that “when you’re of what we each individually got out of Regarding the issue of relationship close on all levels, you’re close on all lev- our NDE is, whatever you came back to conflict, Terry and Bob said their respec- els. Everything…really is so in tune, and, this planet for, you need to be serious tive adult children are continually after all, that’s what all forms of commu- about getting it done…that each of us amazed that they do not argue. Libby and nication REALLY are about….” has our calling to do in life, and what- Paul were quick to report that they DO, Cheryl concurred that before her re- ever we can do to support each other in and energetically! Libby also emphasized, lationship with Edward, she never had that calling, then, that’s my honor and however, that their arguments are always had a SPIRITUAL sexual relationship; my privilege.” characterized by mutual respect—a striv- she always had wanted it, but didn’t know Cheryl described her sense of higher ing to understand and honor each other’s how to create it. She and Edward pray purpose in relationship with Edward this individuality. together every morning without fail, a way: “We’re working on the ‘big issues’ Early in the program, Paul com- practice that enhances their total level of of our entire lifetimes…we’ve had over mented that he knew of little research connectedness. 200 lives…we’re working on …integrity on NDE couples. Dr. Jeff Long, founder Terry also affirmed the uniqueness of spirit, being in total integrity…being of the Near-Death Experience Research of her relationship with Bob. “I never truthful to ourselves and God within and Foundation, commented from the audi- knew what I was missing,” she asserted. without… being in in- ence that in all his re- After her first marriage of 23 years, she tegrity and in tune with search archives, he had proclaimed her current marriage to be just a single partner.” When it comes to seen no instances of “TOTALLY DIFFERENT, on such a And when Cheryl experiencing unconditional NDErs married to each high level, it’s indescribable.” said, “in tune,” she love, we both have been other. He reiterated the Libby agreed, “TOTALLY meant it both figura- there, in the Light. audience’s suggestion DIFFERENT…the spiritual closeness, tively and literally. She that this group, as well the prayer that we also share, and know- and Edward have a mu- as NDErs married to ing that his world view — by having had tual, ongoing experience of “a sound non-NDErs, represent a potentially rich, a NDE, which is such a personally life- within” – “it’s like the high hum of the but as yet untapped, source of informa- changing and riveting experience, colors universe” that changes continually yet, tion and even wisdom. Audience ques- how I see the world. And I know that he they’ve found, they’re always hearing the tions included whether any such couples has had the same experience and has a same thing. “We walk together to the are not getting along, and their ideas in- memory – it’s not an act of faith, it’s not same tune.” cluded writing a book about NDE something I have to explain to him, it’s At one particularly touching mo- couples. not something I’m saying, ‘Trust me, ment during the program, Bob disclosed Another idea that the IANDS Board here’s how…’ — I just know that he sees he had been married twice before. “I re- is considering involves both the Marriage the world in much the same way. And member an awful lot of days and weeks Panel and the breakout session for Sig- that can’t help but influence our relation- and months and years going by, think- nificant Others of NDErs. At this year’s ship physically, spiritually, and in every ing, ‘there’s got to be something better conference, the breakout session was other way.” than this.’ And I’m happy to tell scheduled independently of the marriage Panel members also described a you…this is seven years running where panel, and it was attended by a small shared sense of higher purpose. Libby I’ve felt happy, every day. Is it because of learned from her experience that “every her? Because of us? I don’t know…but I Continued on page 8 Page 8 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

EXPERIENCER COUPLES Paul closed the session by sharing a very personal poem Continued from page 7 he’d written for Libby six weeks after they’d met, following an number of people who had an opportunity to go into relatively insight that came to him through meditation. At the sugges- greater depth of discussion. The next conference may include a tion of an audience member, and with Paul’s permission, the block of programs related to NDE couples: a marriage panel poem appears below. followed immediately by a breakout session. In this review, I’ve covered only certain points from the Libby, panel program, and much of the poignant quality of the panel I have pursued you through time and space, members’ testimonials is lost in the printed word. As a licensed moving from the Oort Cloud to Arcturus counseling professional and certified sex therapist who special- while you danced among the Jovian moons, your laughter the twinkling starlight izes in working with couples as well as with spiritual experi- remembered in the soul’s long voyage. ences and development, I found this discussion both thought You are near. provoking and affirming. I encourage the interested reader to You have traversed the heavens, acquire the audiotape of this session and take inspiration from and brought your wisdom to another place the panel members themselves. [Audio Tape Order Form is on and time, the accompanying insert sheet]. to wait in patience for gifts you planted in the fertile springtime of your experience, Near the end of the discussion, Edward eloquently — and and I have followed, skipping over shortened inadvertently humorously—summarized the main theme: “I lifetimes as a flat rock swiftly skips over water, looked and struggled for examples about what makes [my rela- to await your arrival on another shore. tionship with Cheryl] unique. While Cheryl …can tell me all You are near. about what it was like in Venezuela in the Peace Corps, I wasn’t We have shared a sensed presence before, there, so I can only imagine. By the same token, I lived in an But stayed apart. We have traveled widely on separate paths. ashram in India, and I can tell her all about what it was like, We have cared, and been cared for, but she can only imagine. But when it comes to being at one by others. with God, in the Light, experiencing unconditional love, hear- But timelines have converged, dimensions intermingle, ing the music of the spheres…we both have been [there], and the one universal force is coalescing, that is unique in our relationship that really makes the bondage and within my soul-mind grows: (everyone laughs—comic relief) – the BOND so delightful.” You are near.

“A M I THE ONLY ONE?” in that category. Permit me a moment to explain. A number of years ago, I joined IANDS for professional as Support for Spiritually Transformed Experiencers well as personal reasons. For several decades I had been lectur- ing and publishing books on topics ranging from addiction to trauma resolution. At the same time I maintained a private Carla Wills-Brandon, Ph.D. practice; my work with clients focused almost exclusively on sexual abuse survivors. Like myself, many sexual abuse survi- just returned from the annual IANDS Conference in Se- vors had left their bodies during the sexual trauma. When I attle. For those of you who were not able to attend, let first recalled the details of my own abuse history, I did so from me say it was a wonderful gathering, and I strongly sug- an out-of-body position. Numerous abuse survivors have re- gestI you consider purchasing some of the taped sessions [see ported NDEs to me. Some of these individuals have shared inserted Audio Tape Order Form]. The local Seattle IANDS how spiritual guardians emotionally protected them while the group did a great job hosting the event, and the speakers and abuse was taking place. From a professional point of view, I volunteers worked diligently to make sure the conference would needed to find additional support for clients who had experi- be a positive one for all. The conference validated near-death enced OBEs (out-of-body experiences) and NDEs. Thankfully, experiencers, allowed researchers to brainstorm, and gave IANDS was able to provide me with immediate resources. IANDS as a whole a good shot in the arm to stay committed I also had personal reasons for joining IANDS. In my youth, and trudge forward in a positive direction. aside from an OBE during trauma, I twice experienced death- Though the gathering was very supportive in general, I bed visions. My mother died a very tragic death at age 38 when did notice there were a few individuals who were feeling a bit I was barely 16. My first deathbed vision (DBV) occurred as left out. These were persons who’d come for support after hav- the ambulance came to our house to take my mother to the ing had profound, spiritually transformative experiences, yet hospital. Not being home, I had no idea that was going on. I had not been “near-death.” More than once I’ve found myself was across town at a rock concert with friends. While at the Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 9 concert, I suddenly felt very ill, saw an ambulance parked within to the core. I became very sensitive to bright light and loud the stadium walls where the concert was being held, walked to noises, and began to feel uncomfortable eating meat. The whole the vehicle, crawled in, and lay down. When I got home that “God” thing was suddenly most confusing, and I felt discon- evening, I discovered that my mother had been taken to the nected from many people around me. Depression was a prob- hospital at the exact moment I had felt ill at the concert. As a lem, along with periodic bouts of intense emotion. It was as if young teenager, this experience puzzled and confused me, yet physically, emotionally, and spiritually I had been ripped open, there was no one I could talk to about it. Today, I understand and for the life of me I did not know how I was going to glue that this was a deathbed vision, and that I experienced the be- myself back together again. ginning stages of my mother’s death. I went looking for answers and found My second DBV occurred at the pre- In reading their material, more confusion. One friend told me I prob- cise moment of her passing. I awoke in the I learned that many NDErs ably had a chemical imbalance, another sug- early morning and knew intuitively that gested I get my eyes checked for cataracts, had gone through an across town in the hospital my mother had while a third became frightened. Shortly passed. Ten minutes later, a family friend integration process similar to after I shared my experiences with her, she telephoned me to share that yes indeed, my what I had experienced after announced to a group of friends that I was beloved mother had moved on. Years later, my Kundalini encounter. practicing black magic, in trouble, and in two family friends would tell me that they need of serious salvation. With such re- too had awakened from a deep sleep at the exact moment of sponses, I decided to pursue my questions alone. my mother’s passing, “knowing” she was no longer on the physi- For the next several years, I could be found in dark, meta- cal plane. physical bookstores reeking of incense, or at “New Age” hang- When I tried to talk about this “last hug” from my mother, outs where crystals outnumbered people. On dusty bookshelves friends and relatives would chastise me with words like, “you I would periodically come across writings that discussed pro- have an overactive imagination,” or, “she’s with God now…don’t found spiritual experiences. Reading everything I could get my say such things.” Because of such reactions, I tucked my DBV hands on, I soon discovered I was not alone. Many like myself treasures away for many years. had unknowingly walked down a spiritual path, ill-prepared As a young adult, I worked diligently to clean up my trau- for the outcome. matic past. With alternative therapies I was able not only to Eventually I discovered information about IANDS. In read- recover from addiction, but also to discharge the trauma of ing their material, I learned that many NDErs had gone through abuse. This work took time and it was difficult, but by emo- an integration process similar to what I had experienced after tionally and physically “clearing away the wreckage of the past,” my Kundalini encounter. Though the particular catalyst for my I made room for a spiritual adventure. And what an adventure spiritual transformation was not mentioned in IANDS’ publica- it has been. tions, I still thought that IANDS might be able to offer me sup- Initially my spiritual path involved many things, one of port. “Hopefully,” I thought, “when I share my spiritual ac- which was Kundalini meditation. Every day for several months counts with these people, they won’t walk away, roll their eyes, I would find a quiet spot, settle myself, and begin my medita- or tell me I have Satan in my life.” Thankfully, I can report that I tion. The experience not only allowed me to clear out the last found much encouragement from several IANDS members. vestiges of sexual trauma; it also assisted me in connecting with At the national IANDS conference in San Antonio, Texas my Higher Self. I looked forward to these moments of tran- in 1997, I met Dr. Raymond Moody. I was in the process of quility, which centered me so. That is, until “It” happened. compiling deathbed vision accounts for a book. Working with “It” occurred during one of my regular meditation sessions. trauma often involves death, dying, and deathbed visions. Unexpectedly, as I visualized pulling energy up from my root Moody and I briefly discussed this work, and he then invited chakra (tail bone) to my crown chakra (top of the head), I felt me to come to his home in Georgia to experience his an incredibly strong “crack” at the top of my skull. Along with psychomanteum. Described in his book Reunions, the the crack sound came a vision of swirling pastels, followed by a psychomanteum can provide an avenue for persons on this side buzzing sensation. For the rest of the day I felt energized, and of existence to contact loved ones in the afterlife. Though I for a number of nights I required only 3 to 4 hours sleep. En- found Dr. Moody’s invitation intriguing, I did not expect much ergy fields or auras around people, plants, and even stones be- from his psychomanteum. I looked forward to meeting other came visible to my naked eye, and during the next two years, I like-minded people who would also be visiting Moody, but I’d wrote five books. My creative energy seemed boundless. En- concluded before leaving home that I would not be encounter- countering numerous “Aha!” experiences, I also discovered what ing anything of interest in his “Theater of the Mind.” Was I it felt like to be “one” with the universe. All of this may sound ever wrong. just wonderful, but there was a down side. After the “crack,” my whole concept of the world was rocked Continued on page 10 Page 10 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

RESEARCH REQUEST “A M I THE ONLY ONE?” up a sense of shame, alienation, and Continued from page 9 uniqueness (no one understands me) that Have you had a Spiritually can lead to confusion, depression, addic- Transformative Experience (STE)? If so Out of a group of approximately ten tion, spiritual distancing, poor relation- would you be willing to share this with participants, I was one of two who expe- ships, low self-esteem, rage at the world me? rienced a reunion. The account is long in general, sleep difficulties, and a host I’m going to be starting another and dramatic, but for purposes of space, of other life problems. When such an project and am putting out a call for contributions. This book will discuss just let me say my loved ones on the other individual hears from me, a professional Spiritually Transformative Experiences— side reached out and physically touched and a recovering sexual abuse survivor, a spiritual experience which causes me. The sensation was awe-inspiring, that their symptoms are normal, I see the profound life changes. visually overwhelming, blissful, loving, weight of confusion lift and a spark of After STEs, many people find they and glorious. Words cannot adequately hope come into their eyes. The word can no longer live life as they had in the describe what I experienced in Moody’s “normal” is like a soothing balm for a past. Priorities change from acquiring psychomanteum. After returning home, despairing heart. material goods, fame, fortune and power, dazed and confused, I found myself in- If a person walks into my office to to a more spiritual path. This spiritual tegrating this new spiritual experience. share a deathbed vision, out-of-body ex- path involves focusing on spiritual growth, Once again I felt like the “energized perience, sense of one-ness with the uni- concern for family, friends, humankind, bunny,” encountered mood swings, verse, near-death experience, kundalini the animal world, the planet, and the buzzy sensations, and clairaudience or meditation-induced intense encoun- universe. STEs can be the by-product of in- (hearing sounds without the physical ter, after-death communication, or any tense meditation practice; creative arts presence of sounds). Recently departed other form of spiritually transformative such as writing, painting, dancing; near- friends were coming to “chat” with me, experience, they can also be initially cau- death experiences, after death communi- to share their first impressions of the af- tious, confused, overwhelmed, misunder- cations, out-of-body encounters; life cri- terlife. (This lasted for about six months.) stood, depressed, feeling raw, isolated, ses; birthing children; and so forth. Some Immediately, I turned to several friends and possibly suffering sleep difficulties. of us encounter other-worldly existences, in IANDS for support. In contrast to my Some of these people will also share that while others suddenly feel connected to first spiritual adventures, when they are having difficulty feeling con- the universe at large. otherworldly encounters had left me feel- nected to people they love. They may also ing alone, alienated, and questioning my feel over-energized. When such seekers What I am looking for are: sanity, my psychomanteum reunion now hear from me that their sensations are a) What your life was like before was quickly “normalized”, and IANDS’ “normal” and in time will pass, the relief you had an STE b) A description of your STE support was responsible for that. spills over them. “Normalization” with c) What your life was like after When an abuse survivor visits my understanding support, is the glue your STE. office for the first time, they are typically needed for healthy integration not only plagued by a number of symptoms of of near-death experiences, but also any Carla Wills-Brandon, Ph.D. trauma. Oftentimes these symptoms spiritually transformative experience. Postal Address: have been mis-diagnosed by other My point in sharing this with you is P.O. Box 2299 healthcare providers, which can reinforce this: while at the conference in Seattle, I Galveston Island, TX 77553 a fear of sharing the trauma. The fear sets found myself talking to many individu- als who were seeking solutions and sup- ANNOUNCEMENT OF COMPETITION port. Some were OBErs, while others had The Academy of Religion and Psychical Research announces its 19th annual witnessed or experienced DBVs or competition for the Robert H. Ashby Memorial Award for the best paper on the subject, ADCs. A few had encountered that open Mediumship: Direct Connection to a Level of the Afterlife, Telepathy, or Fraud? connectedness with the universe and Prize: $500.00 were having difficulty coming down to Deadline: December 31, 2001 earth and being “here.” Some shared This competition is held in memory of Robert H. Ashby, Director of Education/ near-death like experiences, while a few Research for Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship International. discussed face-to-face meetings with spir- For more information on the competition send inquiries to: its. Though the spiritual accounts var- Boyce Batey, Executive Secretary The Academy of Religion and Psychical Research ied, a number of those individuals ex- P.O. BOX 614 pressed a common concern. This shared Bloomfield, CT 06002-0614 unease rotated around not always feel- (860) 242-4593 [email protected] ing included during the IANDS gather- Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 11 ing. The “sense” was that because they had not had a full-blown NDE, they re- MY OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCES ally didn’t quite fit. Alice Cormier These people do belong, and we need to let them know they are welcome. t’s been forty-one years since I had tually die, adding even more stress to our Though I too regret to report that there my first mystical experience. I was family life. have been a few IANDS members who only nine years old at the time. As father’s disease progressed further, have left me feeling not as important as II lived in a good home with loving he clung to life by a slender strand. He NDErs, for the most part I have found parents. My parents were very much devoted continued to have seizures. When I was IANDS to be very supportive. The mis- to each other and to my sister and me. nine, the atmosphere hung over me like a sion of IANDS does not need to change All was not perfect in paradise, how- great, black pall. I was a very depressed little to accommodate those of us who have ever. My father was dying of a brain tu- girl, only I didn’t recognize it. Many young had “other” spiritual encounters. To rec- mor. He was “dying by inches,” my children don’t understand depression, even tify the situation I propose a very simple mother used to say. As long as I can re- if they suffer from it. solution. I suggest that the term “Spiri- member, he was sick. When I was about Phyllis and I shared a room. We slept tually Transformative Experiences” or five, he had to retire from his teaching in bunk beds; I had the upper bunk. One STEs become more commonplace in position. He stayed at home, so my night I had my first out-of-body experi- IANDS literature. The last issue of Vital mother became the bread winner. ence. It was glorious. I was sleeping on Signs did publish a beautiful piece by Fred Daddy had several car accidents. my back, which was atypical for me. Baluch, titled “Spiritually Transformative They weren’t serious accidents, only Habitually, I slept on my side. Experiences.” I suspect his words were fender benders. At the time we didn’t Ponderously—ever so slowly—I felt very appreciated by IANDS members know it, but he was having “petit mal” myself departing from my body face first. who have had STEs. I propose to the seizures. Soon, he would have to stop I heard no buzzing, ringing, nor tonal board and membership that STEs be dis- driving altogether. As a pre-schooler, I sounds in my ears. I was in deep slum- cussed in Vital Signs with more regular- must have been with him when he had ber. Very, very gradually, I felt my spirit ity. The IANDS professional journal one of his accidents, because for years I being parted from my body. Tingling at (Journal of Near-Death Studies) does a had nightmares. I used to dream that I first, then oscillating ever so slightly, my great job of including research related to was standing on the car seat, trying to spirit was taking its time. It was some- STEs. Maybe this precedent can spill over steer a maniacally careening vehicle, un- thing like a butterfly extricating itself not only into Vital Signs, but also into able to reach the brake pedal. from its chrysalis. future conferences. After a while my father could not Once free of my physical self, I grace- All of us need support and under- keep his balance. He lost both his hear- fully floated a couple of feet upwards. I standing. That is the glue which holds ing and his sight. One eye bulged out was fascinated, and oh, the sublime sense us as a group together. As a supportive from his face, so he could never close it. of release! Even though it was the middle group we can truly appreciate the won- He became a chain smoker, and used a of the night and quite dark, I could see der of all our spiritual experiences. Such 9" x 9" baking pan for an ash tray. (He everything in minute detail, as if it were appreciation eventually enables us to be couldn’t flick his ashes into an ordinary high noon. Not only did I have 20/20 of better service to others. With this un- ash tray because he couldn’t find it.) vision, but I could hear, and feel, touch derstanding, no one associated with Even with two very fine parents, my and smell like never before. I smelled the this wonderful organization need ask, father’s illness caused a great deal of wear perfume residue on my mother’s clothes, “Am I The Only One?” and tear on the family unit. Daddy had inside her closet, in the next room. I don’t ______three surgeries on his brain. The last one remember seeing myself in the bed. Ei- Carla Wills-Brandon, Ph.D. is a Licensed was when I was seven. Afterwards, the ther I didn’t notice, ignored my body, was Marriage and Family Therapist and the doctors told my mother that they could uninterested in it, or I was so author of eight books, most recently One only remove part of the tumor, it had thunderstruck that I couldn’t notice it. Last Hug Before I Go: The Mystery and metastasized. My mother was a nurse, she In any event, I don’t recall seeing it. Meaning of Deathbed Visions. She has knew instinctively that he would not live I had a magnificent feeling of bliss. appeared on numerous television and ra- much longer. Mom conveyed this hor- The euphoria was so tremendous that I dio talk shows including Geraldo Rivera, rible news to me and my younger sister threw my hands over my head (I think I Montel Williams, Art Bell, Jeff Rense, Uri Phyllis. We were very young. We didn’t had hands) and burst out in giddy laugh- Geller, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Bill completely understand, but we could ter. I did barrel rolls and laughed some Mahar’s Politically Incorrect. Her website sense that it was a catastrophe for our is www.carla.wills.brandon.net . family. I was confused. He would even- Continued on page 10 Page 12 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

MY OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCES house was almost palpable. No one could my eyes and found myself in a dark Continued from page 11 think outside, nor absorb anything but place. It wasn’t scary at all, it was cool their own circumstances. So what the hay, and that was welcome because at the more. This seemed to last a long time, why bother. time California was going through a but in hindsight, I’m sure it was just a Amazingly, that night the very heat wave. I felt very serene and com- flash. While still in this giddy state, I same thing happened, almost identi- fortable. The darkness was a complete found myself very gradually descending cal to the night before. With some ex- darkness, and yet, it pulsated slightly to the floor. First, I passed right through ceptions—for instance, I don’t recol- with life, something like a fetal heart- the guard rail that kept me from falling lect coming out of my body nor de- beat. I felt a safe sense of well-being. out of the upper bunk. I giggled as I scending to the floor. I only remem- This state went on for a long, long floated downwards. Then, I stopped, ber swirling and swishing above the time. How long? It’s hard to say. Time hovering only five or six inches above the floor. behaved differently in this place. I felt hardwood floor. It was at this time that I These two nights were tremen- no anxiety. What I felt was a sense of noticed that my body was different. In- dously rapturous for me, glorious, fan- anticipation, I expected something to stead of having a definite shape, with tastic, it felt so good. I was expecting happen at any moment. There to my arms, legs, and a head, my body was and looking forward to it happening a side appeared a wall. I use the term “ap- globular or amorphous. I could see right third night—but then—it didn’t, and peared” loosely here because it was all through myself, something like gossamer never has since. I was crestfallen of so dark. Nevertheless, I could sense it. wisps of cobwebs. course, and yet, I cherished the It was thick, like cinder blocks. I went Now I have read that out-of-body memory. The experience lifted an over- into it, I was absorbed by it, yet I could experiencers have some kind of connec- whelming burden from me. It’s funny, not penetrate to the other side. I stayed tion from their souls to their physical but after that, coping with the circum- in the wall for an indetermined body. Strings, ribbons, tethers, or some- stances at home was so much easier. amount of time. When I finally exited thing of the sort. I don’t recall seeing or I’m so grateful to God. it, I awoke. It was the middle of the feeling any such connection. I’m not say- Time passed. I grew up. As I ma- night. ing I didn’t have such fasteners. I just tured into adulthood, my memory of I can’t say I was happy to awake. I don’t recollect any. the experience faded. was still depressed, but less so. I had I looked around me. I saw Phyllis Daddy died in 1965, when I was my surgery, and at the last minute my sleeping in her bed. I saw the rick-rack fourteen. A few years later my mother mother came through for me. Was this on her nightgown. I could see every married a man who wasn’t always nice event a precursor of things to come— strand of blond hair on her head. I to me. Once he threatened to divorce I’m not sure. I do know that after my glanced out of the window, I saw every her if she didn’t get rid of me, so she mother said she would not be coming detail, of every leaf, on every bush. I was asked me to move out. (For my to help me, she changed her mind. She awestruck. mother’s sake, I want to say that I was did come; I felt so much better. Remaining suspended in mid-air, I an adult at the time. She has more than I moved out of Santa Monica, and began to wiggle a bit. I stayed in the same made up for it since.) eventually got a job which I liked a lot. spot, just above the floor, but to my great I was twenty-four when I had my My mother helped me out with my delight, I discovered that my third out-of-body experience. I was liv- rent and all my bills, and I was happy disencarnated soul could flex. It was elas- ing by myself in Santa Monica, Cali- again. tic, just like Silly Putty. It was fun! I rolled fornia and I was alone. I was sick at The dark void was the last mysti- and twirled, bent and twisted. I formed the time, nothing life threatening, but cal experience I ever had. Why? I don’t circles, and ovals, and figure-eights. I it was painful. I had bi-lateral carpal know. Perhaps because I didn’t need made moves that not even the most lim- tunnel syndrome, and was due for sur- one. I never completely understood ber contortionist could achieve. And I gery in a week or so. I was out of work what happened to me. For years and was experiencing ecstasy. This went on and had no health insurance. I had no years I went around not thinking too for most of the night. That was the last way to pay my bills nor rent. My food much about my out-of-the-bodies. thing I remember. The next thing I knew, had almost run out. Nobody cared, That is, until I read an article in Life I was awakening in my bed, in the morn- and I was in the blackest depths of de- magazine about near-death experi- ing. I don’t remember going back into pression. I wished I were dead. ences. Then the memories flooded my my body. One night I went to bed as usual, memory and soul. I remember them I didn’t tell anyone about my expe- but there was nothing usual about the clearly now. rience. I don’t know why. Maybe I inter- events that took place. Typically, my Life magazine also mentioned the nalized it, the lead-laden strife felt in the sleep was fitful, but that night I closed name of IANDS. I went to the library Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 13 and looked up their address. I’m proud One result of the newspaper article sidering starting an FOI group yourself, to say that I am now a member. I re- was a phone call from a man who does a first be sure you have the time to devote ceive IANDS’ newsletter Vital Signs local cable program called “Spirit and to doing a good job. That was a key fac- and enjoy it very much. For a while, I Culture.” He invited me to appear on tor for me. Planning, talking to people, received The Journal of Near Death his show to talk about the near-death mailings—all take time. (I think it is nec- Studies, but that proved to be too ce- experience. He said that when he read essary either to send postcards or to rebral for me. my article in the paper, he had just heard phone members before each meeting, so Since I discovered IANDS, I have about a man from a nearby town who with their busy lives they won’t forget.) found out that I am certainly not was writing a book on his near-death Second, talk to people! Talk to everyone alone. That’s a comfort. I’d like every- experience. He suggested we could be on you come in contact with about the one to know of the “other side,” but his program together. near-death experience. Tell them about like most experiencers, I’ve run into Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear your plan to start a group, and ask if they resistance. Oh, well, maybe someday. about the existence of NDE bookwriter know of experiencers in your area. People Thomas Gates, and was soon able to are naturally interested, and you can tap meet him. He had never heard of into their own stories, be a good listener, IANDS, and was surprised there could and they may then come to your group. STARTING AN IANDS SUPPORT GROUP be such an organization! He was at the Third, I think it’s important to have en- Continued from back page point in his life, 29 years after his NDE, ergy and enthusiasm yourself. I know that when he was ready to begin speaking my joy and enthusiasm for the subject Diane had told me people may travel publicly about his experience, and he said attracts interest in others. Kimberly Clark long distances to attend the meeting, and he would be happy to speak at my next Sharp is an excellent example of this. a weekend time works best. group meeting. That meeting was a great If you are not an experiencer your- Next I went to the three newspapers success, and everyone was deeply moved. self, then read, read, read, and inform that serve Iowa City. I paid for a small Thomas had, according to P.M.H. yourself as completely as possible about ad to be placed in the papers announc- Atwater’s categories, a Type 4 NDE—the the near-death experience. Go to the li- ing the formation of a near-death expe- transcendent type, where he was shown brary and check out any NDE tapes they rience group. Each ad person I spoke to “the essential nature of the created uni- might have; order the wonderful tape wanted to hear more about the group, verse all the way through and beyond the Seattle IANDS produced, called The and was interested in telling their news light to the underlying, eternal source of Near-Death Experience: Transcending the departments about this potential feature himself and all creation.” He has a pow- Limits; and you can get the Seattle story! Unfortunately, I was not ready to erful message. He and I are scheduling IANDS newsletter for $10 per year. be interviewed at that time. What if no- further talks where we can appear to- Melvin Morse has a website at body showed up at the first meeting? gether at such groups as Compassionate www.melvinmorse.com. He too has a Finally the day came when I was able Friends and Elderly Services. I am confi- newsletter, so you can receive some of the to say, “Welcome to the first IANDS dent we will be well received, and I know latest research findings. Don’t forget group in IOWA!!” I looked out at the the NDE story will bring light into a P. M.H. Atwater’s website, thirteen faces of the people who had great many lives. www.cinemind.com/atwater. Her books come, and was delighted at the turnout. I have now met other near-death are a must for any group leader. When three of them described their experiencers who are interested in speak- If you are starting a new group and near-death experiences, I thought, “Yes, ing to my group. I am considering hav- just need moral support, don’t hesitate this is right. I have done a good thing!” ing one monthly meeting with a speaker, to contact me at [email protected]. It was a powerful meeting, and everyone followed two weeks later by a discussion Starting a Friends of IANDS group is a thanked me. group on the topic the speaker presented. most worthy endeavor. It will greatly The second meeting brought in only When people ask, “Do we have to wait a enhance your life, and surely will ease the seven people, but the third had nineteen, whole month to meet again?”, I cannot fear of death in the people you reach and the fourth, thirty! I was able to in- help but want to meet their energy and through your group. GOOD LUCK! terest the Iowa City Press Citizen to do a excitement with adequate programs. I am Loni Parrott can be reached by mail story about my group, and they gave me enthusiastic about the future growth and at 210 Green Mountain Dr., Iowa City, terrific coverage, even showing a picture activity of Iowa City Friends of IANDS. IA 52245. Her email is of the IANDS internet homepage. The So that is the story of beginning my [email protected] and her phone num- reporter was fascinated by the subject, group, from March though July, 2001. ber is (319) 337-3909. and I gave her a copy of Life After Life to But there are other important ingredi- keep, so she could read and learn more. ents I want to mention. If you are con- Page 14 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

The concentration of focus and disso- tail whatever was omitted, ignored, or ANOTHER LOOK. . . ciation created by near-death states in re- not yet learned in life by the experiencer. sponse to traumatic situations sounds Afterward, the experiencer’s behavior THE EXPERIENCE / THE eerily the same as the time-honored “for- tends to shift toward a desire to express EXPERIENCER mula” used to create a good shaman, wise that which has been undeveloped or only one, priest, or spiritual leader, regardless partially developed—physically, in the by P. M. H. Atwater, Lh.D. of culture. That formula goes something sense of brain function/nerve sensitivity; like this: the way to produce a shamanic- psychologically, in the sense of personal ost of you missed the type individual with abilities and growth/maturity; and spiritually, in the following announce- awarenesses beyond the norm is to sub- sense of a personal relationship with ment, but in my neck of ject him or her to a type of traumatic Deity or God. It’s as if whatever traits Mthe woods it made newspaper headlines incident or intensely-felt ritual that are missing in the individual’s overall on February 29, 2000: “U.Va. research pushes the person past the fear thresh- maturing process are being “filled in af- indicates near-death experiences may be old at death’s door and into the realms ter the NDE.” a natural physical response to trauma.” of spirit. What “pushes,” according to I never cease to be amazed at how In other words, stress related. mystical traditions, is “high stress.” forthcoming experiencers are when asked The University of Virginia re- (Some societies use drugs to short-cut to evaluate what happened to them. Al- searcher cited was our own Bruce this process, but the true “hero’s jour- most to a person, they say, “I got what I Greyson, M.D., editor of IANDS’ Jour- ney” is solely stress-based.) needed.” This blunt answer suggests that nal of Near-Death Studies. In explaining High stress, then, exists as a com- another agenda may be in force besides his findings, Greyson was quoted as say- monality in the process of transforming that of the personality self: perhaps it’s ing, “The study shows that near-death human consciousness. To illustrate how the agenda of a greater version of self– experiences are normal responses to in- important the stress link is, here is a syn- the soul. tense trauma, not a sign of psychiatric opsis of what I have noticed during the Whatever the truth, and it may illness.” This is significant, as there are 23 years I have been conducting near- never be proved one way or the other, still some people who have the notion death research: most episodes happen the need component is plainly evident that near-death states are a sure sign of to people during major life junctures or in the timing, story-line, and outcome craziness. at times of unusual stress when spiritual of near-death states—not in the sense Near-death experiences do include guidance would have of predetermination features of dissociation (to separate or the most impact. With or wish fulfillment, withdraw from relationships in the world young children, rela- High stress…exists as a but rather, in terms around you) that are similar to various tives and caregivers can commonality in the process of a subconscious types of mental illness. But, as he is quick be affected as well—to of transforming human “agenda” of a higher, to point out, the kind of dissociation in- the degree that it’s al- consciousness. more spiritual order. volved is the kind we all do, like day- most as if the child had What impresses dreaming or becoming absorbed in a the experience for their me the most is how book or movie. “It’s basically narrowing sake. The extent to which the episode the scenario people experience always your focus so much that you block out transformed the youngster becomes catches their attention in exactly the way things that are going on around you,” more evident as he or she matures, and and manner that is the most effective for Greyson said. can become a quiet but powerful direc- them. Near-death scenarios hardly ever More specifically, what he found is tive in the life chosen by the child once touch on what you or I might expect, that people who had near-death experi- grown. Causes and conditions of death considering the gravity of that person’s ences tend to have more dissociative ex- can reflect, at least symbolically, the life choices and deeds. periences—the normal kind, not the experiencer’s past or current psychologi- For instance, murderers hardly ever pathological kind—than those who cal growth, maturity, or lack of it. The wind up in dungeons with hellish de- came close to dying but did not have initial spirit greeters at the edge of death mons pricking them to pieces with hot near-death experiences. “I don’t think it always match whatever is necessary to pokers. Instead, criminals usually expe- takes away from the mystical interpreta- alert or calm the experiencer, whether rience scenes that infuse them with life’s tion. I think it just takes away from the adult or child. As the episode deepens, true meaning and purpose—after they pathological interpretation.” the scenario’s message parallels almost ex- have been subjected to “living through” The importance of this finding be- actly the subconscious needs of the in- on every level what they did to others. gins to loom large once you examine the dividual at that point in time. The life They are subjected to “trading places” deeper implications of Greyson’s study. review lectures or advice received dove- rather than imprisonment. Persons I Volume 20, Number 3 Vital Signs Page 15 know who experienced scenarios like this views of my book Children of the New ings of little value, and thinly-veiled were so utterly shaken by what they went Millennium were carried. The first was attempts to deify the ridiculous. As through that they never returned to a life by Thomas A. Angerpointner, M.D., the call to revise and reconsider pre- of crime. One Mafia hitman, for ex- Ph.D., a specialist in children’s surgery vious work heightens, it is only fair ample, after such an episode, devoted his in Munich, Germany; and the other and proper that I take my turn as the life to serving the impoverished, often was from Harold A. Widdison, Ph.D., subject of rigorous criticism. by dishing up meals in a church soup a professor of sociology at Northern By the time this column appears, kitchen. His explanation? “I want to Arizona University. The former was my response to Widdison’s com- make up for what I have done.” supportive; the second highly critical, plaints will be published as a “Let- This tendency to raising questions ter to the Editor” in the Journal of “get what we need” that need answers. Near-Death Studies. But what you can sometimes be Criminals…are subjected to I welcome what read will be the edited version of my rather bizarre, as in ‘trading places’ rather than is currently hap- reply. I have received permission to the case of young pening in the field carry the whole episode, the book children being imprisonment. of near-death stud- reviews of Angerpointner and greeted by the famil- ies. None of the re- Widdison plus the unedited defense iar on the other side searchers in our of my work, on my website at of death—classmates and teachers who field, myself included, have been as www.cinemind.com/atwater. I am are in fact still alive on earth. Once unbiased with his or her work as doing that so anyone who wants to they relax into their scenario and feel claimed or believed. I have been can read all three points of view and more comfortable, the living disappear, outspoken about this for years, and decide for him or herself what to and images more typical of near-death have written about research at the make of it. Along with my response, states emerge. The greeter’s job, then, crossroads in both Chapter 1 and 23 I also broached issues we all must whether for an adult or a child, seems of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to face in this new era of media/pub- to be to alert or relax the experiencer Near-Death Experiences, as well as in lishing conglomerates—where truth so that what comes next will have per- the Fall 1995 issue of our Journal. is forced to take a back seat to the sonal meaning and leave a deep and Although there is no question in my demands of sensationalism and en- lasting impression. mind that the majority in our re- tertainment. Interestingly, the patterning of the search community have done their near-death phenomenon—what pre- best and have contributed mightily The opinions and views expressed cedes it, what is experienced, how that to an ever-growing body of research in Vital Signs are those of the affects the individual, and the afteref- findings—often at great personal writers. They do not necessarily fects—is so similar to mystical tradi- cost—the stack of books and papers reflect the position of the tions of the “hero’s journey” and the also grows ever larger of shabby International Association for Near- makings of a “wise one,” that it is as if work, poorly-planned projects, find- Death Studies. a single phenomenon is at work: the transformation of consciousness. To the degree affected, the experiencer is THE CALL never quite the same again. High stress plays a key role in this—by ensuring Share your thoughts with Vital Signs’ readers! The next issue will center around the stage is set for whatever comes next. the theme of how your experiences and/or your study of the NDE and other Announcement transformative experiences has changed your life and your life direction. The deadline is November 10. Please fax your articles, typed and double-spaced, to There has been occasion lately in the Editor at (215) 222-8458, along with a hard copy mailed to: our Journal of Near-Death Studies, es- pecially with the “religious wars” de- Elizabeth W. Fenske, Ph.D bate between Michael Sabom, M.D. 3310 Baring St and Kenneth Ring, Ph.D., to question Philadelphia, PA 19104-259 USA the research methodology and findings of long-term researchers in the field of You may also e-mail your article, in the body of the e-mail, to [email protected] near-death studies. I, too, have now with a copy going to [email protected]. Please do not send the article as an been called to task. attachment. In the Summer 2001 issue, two re- Page 16 Vital Signs Volume 20, Number 3

STARTING AN IANDS SUPPORT GROUP IANDS) support person on the board of IANDS. Chuck asked me a few ques- By Loni Parrott tions, told me something about his Boul- der, Colorado group, then sent me a large “I wish there was an IANDS support group in Iowa City...” This was a thought I’d had packet of materials describing the things for years, even decades. “I wish someone would start a group where I could go and talk to I needed to do. I was excited to read all others who are deeply interested in the near-death exerience, where I could hear experiencers the information and to start filling out tell their stories.” But here it was, 26 years after Raymond Moody’s landmark book, with the paperwork. When I looked over the no sign of IANDS in Iowa City except in my own wishful thinking. list he’d sent of support groups around the country, I saw that the closest IANDS ver the years I’d found people portunity to explain what an IANDS group was in Chicago, about 4 hours who had read books on the group was. Over the next four months, from my home. I called the facilitator of subject of near-death, but I’d people poured out their stories — about the group, Diane Willis, to talk about neverO met anyone who felt the level of their own near-death experiences or those her own start-up two years ago, and I passion I felt about this amazing phe- of family members; about their drove to Chicago to attend her next meet- nomenon. I was baffled by how I could out-of-body experiences (sometimes life ing. I needed to experience a real group be so profoundly interested in something changing); about deathbed visions they in action. When I mentioned feeling that did not exist anywhere in my life, had witnessed; and about after-death anxious about what kind of people I except on the pages of many books I read, communications they had received from might attract, Diane said, “Don’t worry. and occasionally on a news or talk show. loved ones. These were subjects people Whoever comes to your group needs to No one in Iowa City spoke of it; no normally did not speak of! It was as if I be there. Just trust that the right people near-death experiencer talked publicly, had ushered them through a magic door will come.” I really liked that idea, and therefore it didn’t get coverage in the to a place where somehow they knew it her words eased away my anxiety. newspapers; there was never a notice of would be safe to tell me about the mysti- I decided to hold my FOI meetings a meeting or a poster put up to invite cal events in their lives, events they them- at the Iowa City Recreation Center. anyone to come and talk about the selves did not understand. There was good parking available, it was near-death experience. . . From these conversations, I realized in a central location, the room was com- During the past year, I began to re- that the level of interest was very high in fortable, and it had no particular affilia- alize that maybe the person to bring Iowa City, and I felt reassured that people tion that would make people uneasy. I IANDS to Iowa City would be me. I would come to my group. I contacted reserved the room for the first Saturday would have to do the “coming out,” in Chuck Gaylord, the FOI (Friends of of the month, from 2:00-4:00 p.m. public, to say, “This is important! This is a subject that has profound implica- Continued on page 13 tions! I am very interested in this. Come to a meeting of Iowa City IANDS if you too are interested.” Non-Profit Org. U.S. POSTAGE I needed a way to gauge the level of PAID interest among local people, so I could PERMIT #1040 feel more confident about starting a LEESBURG, FL 34748 group—so I devised a plan. I was work- ing in my husband’s dental office, where Vital Signs approximately 40 people came and went PO Box 502 every workday. I put up a very small sign East Windsor Hill, CT 06028 USA in the waiting room that said, “Have you had a near-death experience? Do you FORWARDING SERVICE REQUESTED know someone who has? If so, talk to Loni at the front desk.” I had no idea what kind of response I would get. Well, that small sign brought me the most amazing conversations with people I had ever had! People wondered why I would be looking for someone who had had an NDE, and this gave me the op-