August 2020 U.S.Postage PAID Cresco, PA the VILLAGE 18326 the VILLAGE Permit No.8

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August 2020 U.S.Postage PAID Cresco, PA the VILLAGE 18326 the VILLAGE Permit No.8 Page 1 The Village View August 2020 U.S.Postage PAID Cresco, PA THE VILLAGE 18326 THE VILLAGE Permit No.8 Postal Customer Community VIEWVIEW Newspaper Serving Buck Hill, Canadensis, Cresco, Mountainhome, Paradise, Mt. Pocono, Scotrun, Swiftwater and Tannersville Vol 20 No. 3 August 2020 FINALLY The Route 191 Tunnel is now open for traffic Page 2 The Village View August 2020 \ Dear Professor Sy Yentz Dear Mr. Helion Ask How much does the Was that before Earth joined Earth weigh? Planetary Weight Watchers? Professor Ha ha ha. Professor Sy Sy Yentz Sciencerely, Yentz has his nutrasystemic Perry Helion sense of humor. How much does the Earth weigh is a straightforward question and there is a simple, straightforward answer: it weighs VITALE SonSon 5.9736×1024kg. But wait! There’s more! Earth is PLUMBING • HEATING not round! The Earth has a mean radius of 6,371 AIR CONDITIONING/HVAC km, an equatorial radius PA Lic. Num. 133427 of 6,378.1 km, and a polar 15 Years experience serving Monroe, Pike radius of 6,356.8 km. Those and surrounding counties measurements help define 24 Hour Emergency Service • Fully Insured why the Earth is referred to 20% as an oblate spheroid instead 570-991-0991 of a perfect sphere. OFF COUPON ALL Special $10 OFF any service call or $100.00 Sciencerely, OFF any new A/C system Professor Sy Yentz Cheesecakes and Pastries www.vitaleandson.com Not availableailablee on or aroundaroundd holidayshollidays Jump on the wave of this fast paced real estate market! Sellers, if you are ready, I am!! Buyers, don't hesitate, 1403 Pocono Boulevard • Route 611 • Downtown Mount Pocono, Pa. make the move now! Mini Golf | Lunch & Dinner | Ice Cream | Games | Parties ! RENT A THEATER! $25/HOUR BIG SCREEN Video . Gaming 32-foot screen! 8 players at once! Max. 25 people in the theater CALL FOR DETAILS RE/MAX of the Poconos DianeDiane Edwards,Edwards, WE’RE OPEN EVERY DAY THIS SUMMER – Noon-10pm 1111 N. 5th Street Stroudsburg 570.269.9031 570-421-2345 570.421.2345 www.casinotheatre.net • 570 839 7831 August 2020 The Village View Page 3 “YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, THIS by Phil Dente Computer use & book Looking Back ISN”T FRED AND I DON’T KNOW ANY LOUIE!!” I browsing by As an example, the other day, I conversing with a recording. There is scream. appointment at the called to make a change in my Now, my phone is beeping nothing more Oops, maybe I shouldn’t have library! Curbside service. because another call is coming frustrating said that. Louie was suddenly After dialing the number, my in, so I hang up, let another ring pickup for books and than phone threatening me with losing some instructions were; come through and answer it. I DVDs, too. messages at large firms. fingers and ending up in a dump. For Emergency, Police, Fire, or was expecting a return call from These companies are so large, I I gently hung up the phone and 570 595-7171 Ambulance Service, press 9 now. a client and I didn’t want to guess the thinking is they don’t prayed he wouldn’t have access barrettlibrary.org I think if I wanted Police, Fire miss it. need the business from just one to my number, hoping that just or Ambulance, dialing 911 is a It was a recording…”DID YOU small customer, so why not misdialed. lot easier than looking up the KNOW, YOU CAN SAVE Meanwhile, the phone keeps create an automatic answering After 5 more minutes, I figured number for the phone company. MON..” repeating its messages and I system designed just to frustrate I was safe and started calling the And it’s not like that isn’t That’s all I heard before I keep screaming an answer at Joe Blow completely, as a little phone company again. common knowledge. slammed down the phone. every one of them. side humor, maybe? See above. For collect calling or credit card So, back to calling the phone Until a voice that seemed very After all, if someone is Blah blah blah blah press 6 blah calls or to bill this call to another company. concerned came on the phone important enough, they would blah. See above! and said,” Sir, are you all have their secretary call, and let number, press 2. 'WHAGEN WKROIIJEM right?” him or her get the aggravation. To interrupt a busy line, press 3. MRJEISFHE JDHEGSB.' For directory assistance, press 4. After the message…”For the Ooops, I finally made a But, when the phone company This time the muffled message For repair, press 5. business or credit office, press connection. itself does it, that’s just wrong! is so loud I have to hold the For the business or credit office, 6,” my phone started beeping “Oh, uh, sorry maam. Er, ah, phone away from my ear. press 6. again. I was talking to my dog.” I Now came the message, “Would Now, I’m torn. stammer. For all other services, please stay you like information on our high The I think I’m getting close to “How can I help you?” She says on the line. speed DSL line?” Now, here’s where it starts getting the connection I want so in the most pleasant of tones. Village Folks, I know it was a recording, getting tricky. I figure I will stay on the line a Now, either I was spent from but by now, I’m on the edge. As I’m waiting, another second or two. unleashing my diatribe at the View “NO, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD recording is heard… I think! My phone beeps again. messages or maybe because of (I use this term a lot when I WHAGEN WKROIIJEM I hear the message; “Would you the fact that I was afraid this am tense), I JUST WANT TO MRJEISFHE JDHEGSB. like information on our high operator would disconnect me, BE CONNECTED TO TALK © 2020 Copyright At least that’s what I think speed DSL line?” I calmed down, explained my The Village View TO SOMEONE ABOUT MY I heard, it was very muffled “NO!” I shout. “ALL I situation and my needs and was SERVICE.” and twice as loud as the other WANT TO DO IS TALK TO actually helped through the An independent Meanwhile Patti walks into the messages. SOMEONE ABOUT MY process of changing my service. community newspaper room and says, “Wow, who were published monthly Then, a nice, calming, woman’s SERVICE!” But, during the process, the you yelling at? That was pretty for Barrett Township voice. “Would you like My phone beeps again. phone did beep again, but I harsh. and the surrounding information on our high speed I can’t stand it. chose not to answer it. “Oh, it was just a recording,” I Villages. DSL line?” I hang up, let it ring once more Heck, it coulda been Louie! Editors and Publishers answer. “No, I answer, “I just want to talk and answer it. Patti & Phil Dente Patti sometimes really gives me to someone about my service.” “Hey Fred, it’s Louie.” A man in the strangest looks. Reprinted from May 2014 “If so press 1.” a very deep raspy voice says. She gave me one then as she “Would you also like to hear Realizing I hung up my shook her head while leaving about how..” connection for a wrong number, Kathryn Yerkes the room. Assistant Editor It was about here I realized I was I kinda lost it. Graphic Artist Stonewall Heather Schratt Travel Update: Garden Center & Do NOT travel unless absolutely necessary during this COVID-19 Pandemic Country Gift Shop Phone 595-3314 • MANDATORY Airline Travel Restriction outside Continental USA: Hawaii & Alaska, Bahamas, Caribbean, Bermuda, Canada, Mexico E-mail:[email protected] • 72 Hour COVID-19 Free Medical Certificate prior to arrival. Hawaii Hardy Mums & Asters www.thevillageview.com 14 Day Quarantine till Sept 1, 2020. P.O.Box 567 Mountainhome, • International Travel Closed till 2021. Fall Planters & Bulbs PA 18342 Circulation 9,000 • Cruise Travel Closed till 2022. Tree & Shrub SALE • Check: www.travel.state.gov for current travel updates Columnists for COVID-19. ORGANIC fertilizers• Soils Judy Linder • These are unprecedented times; However, we can do our part to help Charlie Fullington one another stay safe and healthy by covering our nose and mouth with a Unique Gi� Shop mask or face shield to suppress the spread of COVID-19. And John Cafarella whenever in public, keep 6 feet apart and always wash your hands. IF we MaryAnn Lewis Ornaments • Chimes • Flags & More follow these simple guidelines, we will be able to resume travel and start Nicole Abrams living "normally" again. We can only do this together as Americans, 6 Month Deer REPELLENT so let's make this happen TODAY. t.447, Canadensis Phone 595-7222 Melanie and Lld Lutz LIKE US ON FACEBOOK & INSTAGRAM One Stop Travel Page 4 The Village View August 2020 August 2020 The Village View Page 5 Barrett Township Monthly Clean-Up 2020 Saturdays 8:00 AM – 12:00 Noon September 12, October 3 Clean-up items will only be accepted on dates posted NO EXCEPTIONS RATES Automobile Load .............................$10.00 SUV or Mini-Van...............................$30.00 Full Size Pick–up Load................................$40.00 Trailer (8ft or smaller).....................$40.00 Trailer (longer than 8 ft).................. $60.00 One-Ton Load ..................................$50.00 Life & Business Utility Van ........................................$60.00 The Right Coverage at the Right Price Single Axle Dump............................ $75.00 Box Vans U-Hauls 6-8 ft...................$50.00 Box Vans U-Hauls 8-10 ft .................$80.00 DONAGHY Anything enclosed over 10 ft .......$150.00 INSURANCE Tires (car & small truck)...................$10.00 INSURANCE Tires (20” and larger) .......................$15.00 1125 Rt.
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