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Play Your Part Running Out of Space 1 RUNNING OUT OF SPACE Chapter One Rumbone R 29 calling G 43! R 29 calling G 43! Over. Gleek I hear you. What do you want? Over. Rumbone Permission to re-enter capsule. Over. Gleek Please wait. I am busy. Over. Rumbone Come on, Gleek. I can’t wait. Let me in. Gleek I won’t be long. I am talking to the Universe. Give me five minutes. Rumbone I can’t wait five minutes. Please let me in. I’m on a hostile planet. Gleek What? Why didn’t you say so? Hatch opening activated. Please enter chamber and wait. Rumbone Thanks. I’m in. Shut the doors, quick! Gleek Operation in progress. Outer hatch closing. Please wait. Rumbone Hurry up, Gleek. We need to go. Gleek Operation completed. Inner door opening. Please enter flight capsule. Crumbling comets! What’s happened to you? Rumbone I’ll tell you in a minute. Let’s get out of here. Gleek Starting departure drill now. All systems are firing. Why have you gone green? Rumbone Let’s just go! Gleek Brace position. Ready for take-off. Fingers crossed. Rumbone Don’t say that! Gleek It’s OK. Only joking. We’re up and away. Rumbone Can I take off my helmet? Copyright Tracey Lloyd 2018 archoxfordshire.org.uk Play Your Part Running Out of Space 2 Gleek One second while I’ll twiddle the wotsit. OK. You can now. Proceeding through the galaxy at optimum speed. But what’s all the green? You’re covered in green. Rumbone It’s bug spit. Gleek Green suit, green helmet… It’s WHAT? Rumbone Bug spit. It’s bug spit. Horrible stinky green bugs. They spat at me. Gleek What? Down there? But we thought that planet was empty. Rumbone We were wrong. It looked empty when I landed. Just rocks and rubble, going on and on forever. Then just as I was planting the flag… Gleek Claiming the territory for Earth… Rumbone And getting out the boxes to collect the samples, all these little wriggly things came squirming out of the sand… Gleek Wriggly things? Rumbone Like maggots. All green and wriggly. And then they stood up on their bottom ends and started waving all these little legs at me. Gleek Horrible. Scary. What did you do? Rumbone I tried to explain. I did the speech, you know: “Greetings from Planet Earth. We are running out of space and come to your world in peace, seeking new lands to inhabit…” Gleek What did they say? Rumbone They didn’t say anything. They just got bigger. Gleek Bigger? What do you mean? How did they get bigger? Rumbone They started swelling up. They got bigger and bigger. And then they started spitting. Gleek All that green slime? Rumbone All this disgusting green slime. All over me. All over my suit and my helmet. Great long squirts of gross green goo. Gleek Yuk! That’s abominable. Rumbone I couldn’t see out of my visor. I just ran back to the craft and shouted at you to let me in. Gleek And I said, “Please wait.” Rumbone You did. It was scary. Copyright Tracey Lloyd 2018 archoxfordshire.org.uk Play Your Part Running Out of Space 3 Gleek I’m really sorry, Rumby. I didn’t realise. Rumbone That’s all right. I’m here now. Gleek Why don’t you just run a lovely hot bath-in-the-bag and get that filthy suit off and have a good soak? Rumbone Lovely. And then I’ll put my jim-jams on. Gleek And I’ll go on sending messages. I shouldn’t have let you land down there without asking first. Rumbone Did you get any replies, while I was out? Gleek Only one. Rumbone What did it say? Gleek It said, “Greetings from Planet Mavis. We are 3.27 million light years from your position but do drop in if you’re passing.” Rumbone Very funny. But they speak good English, don’t they? Amazing, when they’re so far away. Gleek No, Rumby, I told you. That’s the Sprattler. Rumbone Oh, yes. Sorry. That’s me being dumb again. Gleek You’re not dumb. You’re very brave. I’d be really scared to go jumping around on hostile planets like you do. Rumbone And you’re very clever. I couldn’t send all those messages like you do. Remind me again. What’s a Sprattler? Gleek I told you. When we send radio messages, it turns our language into theirs. Rumbone Oh, yes. I remember. Why? Gleek So that they can understand what we’re saying. Then it turns their language into ours. Rumbone Shouldn’t that be an UnSprattler? Gleek Ssh. Wait. Something’s coming through. It’s a new message. Rumbone That’s funny. Gleek What? Why is it funny? Rumbone Not the Sprattler. The water. Gleek The water? What’s wrong with it? Rumbone There isn’t any. I turned the taps on for a bath and nothing came out. Copyright Tracey Lloyd 2018 archoxfordshire.org.uk Play Your Part Running Out of Space 4 Gleek Have you checked the hose? And the spigot? Rumbone Yup. Gleek And the nozzle? Rumbone Yup. Gleek Try jiggling the sprocket on the pump. Rumbone I just did. Nothing. Gleek Let me finish reading this new message and I’ll come and look. Rumbone What does it say? Gleek It says, “You who?” Rumbone Yoo hoo! That’s friendly, isn’t it? Gleek I’m not sure. I can’t read it properly. The screen is a bit fuzzy. I can see, “I… N… V…” Rumbone “Invitation.” That must be it. Hooray! They’re inviting us. Gleek Wait. Let me read the whole message. Oh, rats! It says, “Invaders welcome not do we.” Rumbone What does that mean? Gleek It means their Sprattler must be running backwards. They don’t want us. Rumbone But they said, “Invaders welcome…” Gleek Try saying it the other way round. “We do not…” Rumbone Oh. Right. I see what you mean. “We do not welcome invaders.” Oh, pooh. And there’s no water for a bath. Gleek Just let me send the message out again and I’ll come and have a look. Rumbone Oh, thanks, Gleek. You’re so clever. Gleek Ssh. Be quiet. I’m switching on the Voice Synthesizer. “Greetings from Planet Earth. We are running out of space. We travel the Milky Way in peace, seeking new territory…” Rumbone OK. Now can you come? Gleek Ssh. I haven’t finished. “Please reply A.S.A.P.” Rumbone What does that mean? Copyright Tracey Lloyd 2018 archoxfordshire.org.uk Play Your Part Running Out of Space 5 Gleek As Soon As Possible. Right. Let’s get these taps working. That green slime has a horrible smell. Rumbone I know. What is it? Sour milk? Gleek Pass me the spanner. Rumbone Spanner. Or is it egg sandwiches? Gleek Bendy probe, please. Rumbone Bendy probe. And a bit like old socks. Gleek Plunger, please. Rumbone Plunger. It’s like a mix of all three, isn’t it? Gleek Oh, no! Rumbone No? Don’t you think so? Perhaps with a bit of stewed cabbage thrown in? Gleek I’m not talking about the smell. Rumbone What are you talking about, then? Gleek I’m talking about trouble. Big, big trouble. Copyright Tracey Lloyd 2018 archoxfordshire.org.uk Play Your Part Running Out of Space 6 Chapter Two Rumbone What’s the matter? What sort of trouble? Gleek There’s a blockage. Rumbone Yes? Where? Gleek In the W – W - double – R – S. Rumbone What’s that? Gleek Oh, Rumby, keep up! It’s the Waste Water Recovery and Recycling System. Rumbone Oh, yes, sorry. Is that serious? Gleek Serious? It’s life-threatening. Rumbone Oh, gumdrops! Gleek If we run out of water, we’re done for. Rumbone Oh, jelly beans! What are we going to do? Gleek I’ll have to climb down into the disposal chamber. Rumbone Oh, no! Not the de-gunger! Gleek Keep an eye on the screen while I’m gone. There might be more messages. Rumbone Oh, no, Gleeky. Please don’t leave me alone with the screen. I won’t understand anything. Gleek Won’t be long. I’m just trying the plunger in the downpipe. Rumbone Oh, Gleeky, please come out. It’s flashing! Gleek What? Rumbone It’s flashing. The screen is flashing. And there’s a glonking noise. Gleek Glonking? Rumbone Yes, you know – sort of splurging and glonking… Gleek Those aren’t even real words, Rumby. Anyway, that was me. Rumbone What was? Gleek The glonking. I was plunging the plunger. Yuk! It’s horrible in there. The system isn’t working at all. Copyright Tracey Lloyd 2018 archoxfordshire.org.uk Play Your Part Running Out of Space 7 Rumbone Never mind that. Come and look at the screen. Gleek Rumby, you don’t understand. There’s a total blockage. Rumbone Right. Nasty. But listen, why don’t we try pouring some hot water down the nozzle? Gleek That’s just it. Rumbone Oh, good. You mean that’s the solution? Gleek No, Rumby. That’s the problem. Water. Rumbone Yes? Gleek Water. Rumbone Yes. Gleek We haven’t got any, remember? It’s not coming out of the taps. Rumbone Oh. Sorry. I forgot. So, what do we do now? Gleek You tell me. Rumbone Well, why don’t we have a nice cup of tea while we think about it? Gleek Rumby… Rumbone Yes, Gleek? Gleek Rumby… Rumbone Don’t look so cross, Gleeky.
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