The Church and its Holistic Paradigm of Sexuality Wilson Yates Margaret Sanger, the birth control reformer of the first part The Holistic Paradigm of this century, began her books with the sentence: “Sex is I wish to call this paradigm a holistic paradigm, in contrast the pivot of civilization.” Perhaps she was given to hyper- to the more traditional dualistic paradigm to which the bole, but few of us in the latter part of this century would church has been wedded so long.2 The dualistic paradigm deny that sexuality is a central human force that can exploit has been marked by assumptionsof patriarchy, dualism of and destroy, or enhance and enrich, personal life and the body and spirit, a strong procreative ethic, a denial of the human community. We have come to appreciate Sanger’s relationship of erotic love to divine grace, a strict set of insistence that the power of sexuality is a profound and external rules to govern sexual behavior, and a strong ever-present power. Anthony Kosnick, in our own time, also condemnation of homosexuality- all of which stand in addresses this theme: sharp contrast to a holistic perspective.3 Sex is. a force that permeates, influences, and affects every act of a person’s being at every moment of existence. It The assumptionsof the new paradigm that I wish to is not operative in one restricted area of life (that is, simply elaborate upon include the following: physical intercourse) but it is rather at the core and center of our total life response. ’ 1. Sexuality should be viewed in light of an egalitarian perspective in which men and women are considered to be Precisely becausesexuality is such an important part of life, equal to one another. the church (the Christian community) has been expected to 2. The morality of homosexual expression should be judged deal with its morality and meaning- and this the church much as we judge heterosexual expression: in light of has done. It has given shape to sexual ethics and theologies whether it enables an individual to realize wholeness. of sexuality down through the centuries. Today, however, 3. Sexuality, as part of creation, is good. the church finds itself in quandary, for the way it has 4. Sexuality should be understood to be related to both body and spirit. defined and interpreted sexuality in the past is being 5. Sexuality should be seen as a dimension of the self that is challenged by forces and groups-within the church and expressed in all forms of love-forms that together outside of it-and it is being forced to rethink what it has constitute holistic love. said in the past, what it is saying now, and what it ought to 6. Sexuality should be seen as a means through which say in, and for, the future. I would like to comment briefly persons can know the grace of God. on each of these. 7. Rules governing sexual behavior are important to sexual health and wholeness. One should move with caution in suggestingwhat the outcome of that rethinking will be, but we are now at a point where we can seethat certain assumptionsare being As an introduction to the discussionof these assumptions, made, that certain new ways of thinking are being set forth it is important to define two key concepts of the holistic that are suggestiveof a new paradigm for understanding paradigm: wholeness and sexuality, Wholenessis a word sexuality. These assumptionshave begun to appear in rooted linguistically in such New Testamentconcepts as different contexts: the writings of theologians, sexuality holy, health, unity, and salvation.* It is the experience of study commissions,official church pronouncements, well-being, of health, of integration, of trust, of love, of popular religious publications, and Sunday morning knowing one’sself to be autonomous and, assuch, a congregational forums. They are the subjectsof debate, significant part of a greater whole. Wholenessis not limited modiftcation, criticism, and acceptanceat any given point to peak experiencesbeyond the processof daily living, but in the give-and-take of the theological and institutional life rather includes experiencesrealized in the midst of daily of the church, and in that give-and-take they are taking on existence in response to the problems and possibilities that a shape and significance that clearly points to their power. life poses.It is not a continuing state that we achieve, but They are the elements of a new paradigm of thought that, an experience that is realized in moments of an event or I think, has opened the church, and the world on which it relationship. It is also the experience of a broken life impacts, to a new understanding of sexual health. made whole. Sexz&ty is a concept that, in religious thought, has been I ammy beloved’sand his desireis for me. too often limited to genital sexual experience. There is a Come my beloved, let us go out into the country, need, however, for a more encompassing understanding Let us spend the night in the villages. which can be expressed in the following manner: Sexuality Let us rise early and go the vineyards; is our basic identity as males and females, which expresses Let us see whether the vine has budded and its blossoms itself in our attraction for, in our drive to know, and in our have opened, way of relating to ourselves, to others, and to God. And whether the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love. (7:10-12) The Foundation of the Paradigm The poet expressesthe way sexuality can become a means of With these definitions as a backdrop, I would like to turn knowing, of loving, of realizing union with the other. It now to a discussion of the assumptions which form the becomesa meansof knowing the presenceof wholeness;of foundation of this paradigm. The first assumption is that being at one with another in a loving relationship; and of we must understand male and female, malenessand discovering the goodnessof creation. femaleness,in egalitarian terms. This egalitarianism is rooted theologically in the assumption that we are all equal Sexuality is expressiveof the goodnessof creation by virtue in the eyesof God- that we, as persons,are all of equal of its procreative powers. Our reproductive capacity links us value. It is rooted sociologically in the proposition that men in a specialway, both with the natural world-for it is and women should have equal opportunity to choosethe expressiveof our organic, biological nature - and with the roles they play basedon their ability, energy, interest, time and place, rather than simply on gender. Social structures should, in turn, support this possibility. It should be noted that this egalitarian position does not mean that men and women are all alike. What it doesmean is that the differences that do exist are differences that do not make one subordinate to the other. Realization of wholeness, SIECUS Report Vol. 16 Nos. 4. 5 then, begins with the assumption that we should recognize and respect our basic equality, one with another. Editor, JanetJamar May/June 1988 The second assumption affirms an inclusive stance towards The SIECUS Report is published btmonthly and disrributed ro sexual orientation. With this perspective, opposite, SIECUS members, professtonals. organizations, government officials, bisexual, and same-sexrelationships are judged on the basis libraries, the media, and the general public. of whether they enable the individuals involved to realize some degree of wholenessin their lives, rather than on the Annual membership fees: Individual $60; Student (wtth validation) grounds that a given orientation is intrinsically right or $30; Senior Citizen $40; Organization $100; (includes two bimonthly wrong, natural or unnatural. Thus, the theological issue copies of the SIECUS Report) Library $60. SIECCS Report subscription regarding sexual orientaiton, from this perspective, is not alone, $40 a year. Outside the U.S.: add $10 per yearto these fees(except whether one’sorientation is moral or not, but whether one Canada and Mexico, $5). To be put on mailing list and to receive the quarterly SlECUS New.&tter$lO. The SIECUS Report is available on is able, within one’sorientation, to experience and know microfilm from University Microfilm, 300 North Zeeb Road, Ann Arbor, wholenessand grace, rather than sexually alienating and MI 48106. destructive behavior. All article and review submissions, advertising, and pubhcation inquiries should be addressed to: The third assumption declaresthat sexuality, as part of creation, is good. “God created them male and female. they becameone flesh. they knew one JanctJamar Manager of Publications another. they were fruitful and multiplied. and it was SIECUS good,” the Old Testament affirms. From the beginning, we 32 Washington Place were created as sexual beings and were invited to express New York, New York 10003 our sexuality in a creative and procreative fashion. (212) 673.3850 “The Song of Songs,” in the Old Testament,provides a beautiful testimony to the goodnessof love between a man EditorialConsultants and a woman. In the song, the lovers come to a garden and Michael Carrera, EdD Robert Selverstone, PhD Jane Quinn, ACSW Beth Winship there, midst an Eden-like world, they speak, touch, and Susan Wilson, MSEd David L. Giveans embrace-fully giving to and fully receiving one another. The richnessof the song’ssensuality speaksfor itself: Copyright 0 1088 by the Sex Information and Education Council ofthe U.S., Inc. No part of the SIECUS Report may be reproduced in any form Oh that you would kiss me with the kisses of your mouth without written permission. For your love is better than wine. (1:2) Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, Library ofcongress catalog card number 72.627361.