How to Be Fashionable Or Consume Like Me

how to be the little fashion things we do to seem cool to able people like ourselves

or

consume like me

by

follow any combination of the following tried and andrew coulter enright true rules and you are bound to fool us smoke buy cigarettes expensive jeans any brand is really okay smoking will be cool for a we notice even the smallest logos long time

its best to go for a working class cigarette try marlboro mediums diesel Daryl K people will say unfiltereds earl evisu or handrolled are the levis engineered coolest levis sta prest marc jacobs they try too hard mavi paper smoke filters or filter psycho cowboy lights seven alternatively order them from switzerland you can always wear your and be cool like us parents jeans wear your moms jeans with your dads belt and mention it quietly several times as summer departs days swimming enter the mind swim swim at wear public pools at night reservoirs your parents pool your aunts pool in the hamptons the hamptons clar wear ks sunglasses in the pool yesstill wear your tshirts buy two blatant eversoslightly luxury accessories

dont wear thousands of dollars worth of clothes every day even if you can afford it

wear beat up old clothes with two very expensive small items people will too small automatically assume you are burberry scarves lv wallets cool lv haircubes prada bag coach hat rich tods mocs you know the shit just dont show off and people will notice that too dont want to flaunt it live in dont love or hate la a big city obviously it is acceptable to live in the beautiful countryside provided you are only there to get out tolerate of the big city you really live in prefe rably new york La or london like many suggestions also acceptable contained herein access the high and low American regionals drink high end we like imported beer or shitty ass american beer

drink stella or natty boh drink pilsner urquell or beast drink newcastle or natural light

brooklyn lager yuengling drink forties magic hat avoid as much irony as possible and just red hook saranac drinka lot sierra nevada all mixed drinks eat are cool because eda drinking is cool mam however if you order something like a cosmo or a sex on the beach order with one part pure sincerity two parts self deprecating humor more than one female friend let everyone taste it because they will secretly e love it and probably order it next time wear be a media sun addict glass we cant stress this es a enough read watch and listen to any little thing you can get your hands on when you walk indoors wear your sunglasses about thirty seconds to a minute longer than everyone too else really dont waste money on long expensive every do not however sunglasses where them longer than the extra unless thirty seconds they are youll look like a total asshole your blatant day accessory buy your sunglasses on the street suggestions to follow nylon surface wall read paper dazed and con fused sleazenation love flaunt mixmag purple dutch v w grand royal remix id artforum wired nest thrasher maximum rock and roll paper timeout vogue bazaar com plex spruce hightimes xxl the source brit national geographic discover soma the economist the utne reader moth er jones ms penthouse muzik jalouse elle cosmo instyle people entertain ment weekly adbusters artbyte art ney the neptunes do in america citizen k the face lucky teen seventeen print visionaire big list numero wwd rollingstone spin another magazine jane dwell colors blackbook clear tatler british vogue spear fader the new yorker tearsheet bomb harpers vanity fair interview premiere arkitip index tv guide urb xlreightr mixer ap cmj vice merge hermenaut pop nova mixte smock s arena hommes plus loaded the fash ion parkett spoon playboy the new york times magazine frieze crash bt beikoku the new york review of books the new republic giant robot you should have seen rocky the royal get digital cable and watch it tenenbaums rushmore bottle rocket bring it on save the last dance drop dead gorgeous eraserhead mul holland drive Apocalypse now ordinary people alien two thousand one a space odyssey the empire strikes watch the style back the straight story raging bull taxi driver the godfather charlies angels tron goonies breakfast channel and club uncle buck how high sixteen candles friday cheech and chong the love bug sleeper manhattan nashville the harder they come gimme shelter wet much music hot american summer mary poppins the dark crys tal the yellow submarine kids quadrophrenia grass the graduate rosemarys baby sneakers three days of the condor james bond the birds a clockwork orange the shining pulp fiction do the right thing watch et slam you can count on me the ice storm manhattan project war games the jerk austin powers being john malkovich deep throat cinderella two thousand shakes the clown on the waterfront citizen kane mtv akira caligula ran dancer in the dark run lola run watch carnal knowledge higher learning sexy beast duel jaws suburbia nico icon basquiat wild style fear and loathing in las vegas easy rider blowup the termi nator the abyss solaris ten things i hate about you desperately seeking susan matewan dude wheres my sixty car cabin boy caddyshack fantasia horse feathers twinpeaks pi the beach shrek nerds animal house blues brothers ferris buellers day off pretty in pink one flew over the cuckoos nest twelve monkeys minutes fight club diner pecker hairspray soap die hard the matrix night on earth the day the earth stood still planet of the apes young einstein swiss family robinson roger and me the big one pretty woman air plane alice in wonderland altered states batman rodan falling down tremors slugs defending your life legally blonde dTMtbd moulin rouge gattaca the virgin suicides groove down by law bully

every movie ever made watch wild on the las vegas strip go out on sunday and thursday succumb to peer pressure we all nights if not everyday of the week ruin do your saturday drugs and you should too

hierarchy of consumption

nicotine e start at the top alcohol opium work your way down pot acid ephedrine morphine coke k morning benzos shrooms ritalin mescaline please because dont youre impress us be gonna afraid dance have to to with your we but really now expansive never we used dance love to to knowledge of all and the really modern music models its music is free now drink dance fun learn up and to

operation ivy bassment jaxx kruder and dorfmeister just fleetwood mac neil young nsync you bruce springsteen the beatles herbaliser the roots jay z deep dish feel go nick warren brian eno craig richards willie nelson johnny cash heart sexy out tiffany madonna stewart walker Les Rythmes Digitales amon tobin aphex twin when there we elvis preseley the who dance and jefferson airplane jefferson starship the rolling stones you yoko ono john cage bob marley jimmy cliff hank williams saul williams the promise ring swayzak michael jackson dj qbert dj shadow unkle stay find portishead bjork Serge Gainsbourg bikini kill tricky daft punk in a luke slater photek teebee and k cyndi lauper genesis talking heads your sweaty blondie the ramones capn jazz texas is the reason belle and sebastian rainer maria apt club moby james holden timbaland missy elliott steve reich janis joplin dance led zeppelin tom petty bob dylan and and billy bragg leonard cohen nirvana sunny day real estate sonic youth plaid autechre dubtribe soundsystem dr dre cute stare public enemy ultra magnetic mcs de la soul del black sheep abba people into britney spears beastie boys beck redman moss icon outkast will the john digweed sander kleinenberg george winston kraftwerk can the cure watch mirror depeche mode new order fugazi tortoise stereolab dream dance danny howells negativland way out west you and rennie pilgrem nico the velvet underground travelling wilburys the eagles culture club kool keith john denver hybrid kick play crass dead kennedys dead milkmen smashing pumpkins propagandhi matmos drum old safety scissors john cougar mellencamp afrika bambaataa wu tang clan nwa roni size loops tiffany mark farina hippe and halo dilated peoples cher le tigre iggy pop make records george clinton funkstorung satoshi tomii and everything else ever recorded dance and this is just a start you cross your legs knee over knee keep an eye on your posture look people in the eye be proud of where you came from speak with as but be happy you are here now large a vocabulary as possible do everything you do with grace spend way too much on extremely customize obscure sneakers your and buy as many pairs as possible clothes

two pairs we know whats off the rack and whats not minimum besides nothing is more fun than tearing into a perfectly fine go for limited edition colors and styles and foreign releases garment read japanese sneaker pimp websites

use

bleach spray paint one pair one pair markers old new scissors school school razor blades purcells rifts safety pins chucks pump furys sewing machine shell toes air maxs sambas prestos screenprinting pumas zoom airs iron on transfers ponys star racers dye roos meis keds jordans dirt work live as little beyond your means as possible hard acquire a basic working knowledge of religion names to french Acconci literature adorno critical theory feminism albers drop antonioni sociology barthes postmodernism baudrillard art history music theory borges buren digital imaging world history chomsky geography darwin geopolitics Debord delacroix painting derrida and didion linguistics duchamp logic carpentry foucault freud photography Gilbert- Rolfe godard you will probably haacke hawking hegel never discuss heidegger hickey hirst these things with ingres joyce us judd lacan leary but we say we lyotard kosuth kurzweil know this shit macluhan marx mcrobbie moog Nietzsche so you said sartre saussure shulgin steinem should too woolf emo kid hippie crusty punk b boy hardcore kid househead dj be liberal artfag candyraver club kid republicans will never be homecoming queen anarchist pop fashionable activist stoner intellectual mc jock debutante itgirl grafitti we may talk to them if they artist queer communist writer are rich and powerful enough producer freelancer straight edger drunk preppy boarding schooler band kid roleplayer but becoming friends is out of filmmaker traveller consumer the question skater graphic designer reader they oppose all that we love be everything besides reagan wore a brown suit all at once and indyrocker nerd cheerleader volunteer entrepreneur drum n the pearls bass kid slut southerner army brat philosopher actor editor metalhead freak programmer for christs snob marxist mod perfectionist redneck valley girl ecoterrorist dork conceptualist performer sake the shopper egotist model breaker bartender dancer fan student council president drug dealer pearls geek barista fashionista student tra fly coach frequently vel order champagne after you are finished wear assembling an outfit your girl friends take one clothes item and and know

dont look too put together look like you tried what fits but not too hard make it be skillfully dishevelled in womens slightly sizes her belts are askew boy the best rotate your belt buckle until it sits on your hip wear a pin a little too high rotate your hat ten degrees to the right friends on your chest tie your scarf at the back of your neck roll up one are good too go for his most boy sleeve higher than the other ish items make the strap on your bag rustic too long or vests and shirts too short always do the trick its these little things this ultimate attention to and dont forget visual detail that sets us apart examine and scru his ties tinize every aspect of your outfit can you make it better do you look too techy today add a cardigan when entertaining remember that you are inviting your when walking anywhere guests to share your living space walk with a purpose it is very important to make us feel comfortable and like walk with a style we should actually be there let your heel hit first your home says a lot about you so make that work for you then allow your weight to roll onto your toes strut a few good rules to live by but only in the most barely perceptible way lean back clean up for your guests and walk briskly dim the lights always have a beer to offer when arriving at a bar or party make an entrance always have some music playing splash through the door and give your hugs pick your music based on your grab drinks for yourself and companions guests for example if you smile and stake out a good corner to sink into like minimal techno but your relax guests are into superchunk and let people come to you compromise on q burns when doing something illegal in public always have a bottle opener a dont worry wine key and some tonic breath slowly and act like you are doing your job even if you still dont smoke whether smoking a joint or putting up a piece plan have at least one ashtray and then enact that plan and a lighter or two enjoy turn off the tv before they because youve gotten away with it get there and leave it off when introducing yourself until they leave shake hands be interested watching a movie or smoking and give them your full name up are obvious exceptions when asked what you do offer up your creative passion photography say and avoid discussion of your job unless guests you actually get paid to take pictures you have a few rules too when discussing color be careful always ask before you smoke watch what you say even if you know its ok and wade slowly into this topic because we are vicious and we know it all never show up empty handed hyacinth is not the name of a color bring enough beer for your except crew and the hosts in line at home depot wear large amounts of wake up on black a strangers and couch tan later realize it was an eames original do not leave the house until your hair the fin is the new mullet is right take intro to photo the whole fashion world is built upon the idea of the learn photograph we would not exist look without them learn to construct to good in beauty of front the learn camera to

you are probably being photographed every time you go out someone has a take camera look good its not that hard learn which angles make you look best avoid any lighting situations you know are atrocious its okay to go ahead and pose pictures everything yo u ne ed to kno w i s on the intern et ebay. com apparelnews. net deepseat. net google. com tokyoclassified. com neen. org craigslist. com we ar fashionwindows. com roor. de theblowup. com buzz. yahoo. com sensu. com fas hionfinds. com fashionfol lower. com fashion. net yessmoke. com anato mique. com lucire. com buttmagazine. com cafeglobe. com zooworld. net coolg irlsjapan. com tw o girlynation. com itfashion. com fashionwiredaily com fashi onwide. com . shift. jp. org showstudio. com mothmag. com fashion. at fashionwhore. com archinect com . fashionclick. com popbitch. com accessories memepool. com ammocity com sonics tate. com . flipflopflyin. com hungryfordesign. com boilermag. it

zingmagazine. com virtualr un way. com tokion. com to o dancesafe. org spoon- magazine. com skim. com xpander. nl fashion- planet. com mks. jp. org atouchofclassusa. com debutmag. com graf itti. org zoozoom. com popjustice. com levity. com coolhunt. net ma ny hyperreal . org snpp. com artandculture. com hintmag. com citylights. com futurefa rmers. com flyerart. com maps. org indymedia. org designiskinky. com theyrule. net lafilmfashion. com lum iere com enkamania. com . nantucketknotworks. com dolcevita. com techno. ca spinemagazine. com fuk. co. uk derush. net popmatters. com dresslab. com proper use of language is imperative we have to know what you are saying and more importantly you have to understand us look up and learn the following vocab words asdr fpo pica aftertouch frou frou pique aquatint gain to pop n lock archival gliss to posit aura glitch postmodern bama glossies postscript bank Goss public private bespoke heavy handed raita bias cut high street rasterized to blaze idm red rock Bobbin imagesetter red shift boxfresh to interrogate ringspun the two when in and breakbeat irony risd most doubt everything to buff jungle rizla to be bunk kaftan to roll important look to is about to be cashed kerning sample sale rules the catcher context and central st martins kif saturation chiaroscuro kind selvage are in the rye sex appeal choate kitsch semiotically clipping lfo sg colette live work shake to commodify marimekko sidwell comp masago signifier connotation matchprint to spin couture mitsubishis sub bass to be cracked out moire tearsheets cravat mood wall tech house to crit to motivate third stop crocking ncr tk crunk neg to be weeded dancehall nug whiskers deckle oneoff the white cube deuce organic white label discourse the other x height diy oxyacetylene xylene dubplate pantone yaddo eight ball pentagram to be young fluxus percale zeitgeist the fashion visual wear clear sunglasses designers artists buy vacation use blackletter alexandre plokho Craig Kalpakjian at your get typefaces as four don brown an country bless eduardo kac buy a rock the akademiks hot home douglas mandel Fabrice Hybert ipod drink hedi slimane Helen Cho buy House of Diehl john maeda russian icarius Jorge Pardo soy namesichiro seta clare crespo tooled Julian Roberts Mark Bennett milk copper edges luella bartley Mark Lombardi sell out maria marta facchinelli Martin Creed jewelry fuck moi et cat melissa ho buy to nice collective michael rakowitz PHOBOS and DEIMOS rikrit tiravanija leatherlisten to the rohka Takashi Murakami sara james tofer new ymc tom friedman wear band know zac posen Wim Delvoye npr est writers directors architects buttonscraft alex star CHRIS CUNNINGHAM Ann Bergren cut your mullet call it electroclashcell phone alice mcdermott Danny Boyle Aranda Pigem Vilalta wear go Ben Greenman Darren Aronofsky Bernard Tschumi white peasant wear a heels Chuck Palahniuk guy logan dan graham to dave eggers Harmony Korine Daniel Libeskind bag drink shiraz David Foster Wallace jem cohen frank gehry gallery david sedaris Jonathan Glazer Glenn Murcutt buy organicblouse glen david gold larry clark Gunther Behnisch guys openings irvine welsh levon webb Kazuyo Sejima drink jeff eugenides luka parcel Marc Barani red wear le Jeffrey Steingarten Michel Gondry Marcos Acayaba have wild sex coq JG Ballard mike mills morphosis bull wear Jhumpa Lahiri roman coppola Paul Virilio go sportif sell jim Crace sophia coppola rem koolhaas to wear a newsboy cap things jonathan franzen spike jonze Sadar and Vuga the you jonathan lethem todd cole samuel mockbee right wear white fol make jonathan safran foer tomato Shigeru Ban parties an michael chabon Virgil Widrich thomas leeser this summer ride the northeast direct nick hornby wes anderson UN Studio dress like a hippie rick moody wiz Will Alsop get wait try listed musicians illustratophotograp at ascot holi aesop rock her are weapons rs mes take Arling and Cameron hers CLEON PETERSON amanda marsalis guys cant cabs stic aubrey dalek chris sturman be Blectum from Blechdom DERRICK HODGSON david slijper a cannibal ox super resist medicine evan hecox erwin wurm lowstar The Clipse FRANCOIS CHALET horbert schoerner cex geoff mcfetridge john akehurst use your lesportsac a side ponytail fischerspooner graham rounthwaite joyce lee the french kicks eat green lady Juergen Teller KerbCrawler hersk lee jenkins sushi Kenna Hiroshi Tanabe MARK BORTHWICK Kit Clayton wear Jason Brooks melodie mcdaniel matthew Bushwacka b the trends kaws noah webb paul barman marc kozyndan phil poynter sleep shotmaker drink out of nalgene Kristian Russell rachel Bank stereo total matt owens robin derrick sport a jacobs bottles Sutekh Maxine Law ROE ETHRIDGE get upsold tosca ride a mumbleboy Ryan Mcginley unspoken heard vintage ryan mcguiness terry richardson sweatband on liquor the walkmen bicycle stuart patterson vanina sorrenti look

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