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MARCH 17-23 , 2016 | VOLUME 19 | NUMBER 21 BROWARDPALMBEACH.COM I FREE NBROWARD PALM BEACH ® BROWARDPALMBEACH.COM ▼ Contents 2450 HOLLYWOOD BLVD., STE. 301A HOLLYWOOD, FL 33020 [email protected] 954-342-7700 VOL. 19 | NO. 21 | MARCH 17-23, 2016

EDITORIAL EDITOR Chuck Strouse MANAGING EDITOR Deirdra Funcheon EDITORIAL OPERATIONS MANAGER Keith Hollar

browardpalmbeach.com ASSOCIATE WEB EDITOR Jose D. Duran browardpalmbeach.com STAFF WRITERS Laine Doss, Jess Swanson FELLOW Jerry Iannelli MUSIC EDITOR Falyn Freyman ARTS & CULTURE/FOOD EDITOR Rebecca McBane CLUBS EDITOR Melissa Guzman PROOFREADER Mary Louise English CONTRIBUTORS Emily Bloch, Nicole Danna, Michelle DeCarion, Doug Fairall, Abel Folgar, Cristina Jerome, Natalya Jones, Jonathan Kendall, Angel Melendez, Dave Minsky, Andrea Richard, Jesse Richman, David Rolland, Gillian Speiser, Terra Sullivan, John Thomason, Sara Ventiera, David Von Bader, Lee Zimmerman ART ART DIRECTOR Miche Ratto ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR Kristin Bjornsen

PRODUCTION PRODUCTION MANAGER Mike Lugo PRODUCTION ASSISTANT MANAGER Jorge Sesin ADVERTISING ART DIRECTOR Andrea Cruz

ADVERTISING ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Alexis Guillen ONLINE SUPPORT MANAGER Ryan Garcia | Contents | | pulp Contents y | N ews MARKETING DIRECTOR Jennifer G. Nealon Evans Karli by Photo EVENT DIRECTOR CarlaChristina Thompson MARKETING COORDINATOR Kristin Ramos ▼ SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Sarah Abrahams, Featured Stories Peter Heumann, Kristi Kinard-Dunstan, Andrea Stern

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Paige Bresky, Melanie Cruz, Alyson Puccetti Open and Shut Bruce Matheson’s one-man CLASSIFIED ge | Night+ dA SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES legal war has likely doomed the A

t Patrick Butters, Ladyane Lopez, Joel Valez-Stokes Miami Open in Key Biscayne. CIRCULATION BY JERRY IANELLI | PAGE 6 CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Richard Lynch CIRCULATION ASSISTANT MANAGER Rene Garcia

BUSINESS Steamy Stories GENERAL MANAGER Russell A. Breiter Behind these romance novels ACCOUNTING MANAGER Jeff Stewart CREDIT MANAGER Moses Betancourt is a 65-year-old grandma from JUNIOR ACCOUNTANT James Marquez Davie, Skye Michaels. SYSTEMS MANAGER John M. Rogers BY LEE ZIMMERMAN| PAGE 14 PUBLISHER Adam Simon Voice Media Group LLC Falling Down EXECUTIVE EDITOR Christine Brennan EXECUTIVE ASSOCIATE EDITOR Andy Van De Voorde EDITORIAL DIGITAL DIRECTOR Kelsey Whipple the Hole DIGITAL DESIGN DIRECTOR Darrick Rainey EDITORIAL DESIGN DIRECTOR Tom Carlson The parties you’ll want to hit | music | dish | film | Art | s | music dish film Art | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | NATIONAL CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Curt Sanders during Miami Music Week. CORPORATE CONTROLLER Beth Cook LEGAL COUNSEL Steve Suskin BY JOSE D. DURAN | PAGE 21 CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER Jeff Mars CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Scott Tobias INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY CHIEF INFORMATION OFFICER Gerard Goroski DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL PRODUCT MANAGEMENT James Hamilton 4 News INFRASTRUCTURE DIRECTOR Dave Marcon OPERATIONS MANAGER Brian Heimert 11 Night & Day NETWORK SUPPORT MANAGER David Fearn 14 Art NEW MEDIA DIRECTOR OF COMMUNITY & SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT Kevin Spidel 15 Film DIRECTOR OF SALES AND MARKETING Stuart Folb WEB SUPPORT MANAGER Michael Uchtman 17 Dish NATIONAL DIGITAL MARKETING STRATEGIST Jenna Corday Small Plates...... 18 VMG Advertising 21 Music NATIONAL ADVERTISING vmgadvertising.com, 888-278-9866 Music Previews ...... 23 SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT Sue Belair MMW Club Listings ...... 24 SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF SALES OPERATIONS Joe Larkin 26 Classified Section NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW New Times Broward-palm B each New Times Broward-palm

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3 | NEWS | THE HOLDOUT

browardpalmbeach.com Indigenous leader says natives still own browardpalmbeach.com Southwest Florida. BY DEIRDRA FUNCHEON obby C. Billie was born “In my time,” Billie remembers, “they said in the Everglades, about even if I hold a pencil, they take my hand a mile off Tamiami Trail, and slap it away.” Billie never learned to read

ts | o N te ts or write. He says English can never capture in 1945. For years, that the true meaning of his language, i:laponki. Bwas all he knew of the world. Around age 14, Billie got a job planting toma- Children planted pumpkins and toes with his grandparents for 50 cents a day. corn, hunted deer or raccoons, and “We just, like, survived at that time, because we had to change our entire way of life,” he says. stuck their feet into alligator holes In the mid-1900s, the U.S. government en- to see if turtles were hiding inside. couraged indigenous people to organize and No limbs were lost. Life was good. develop constitutions. According to author

| news | pulp c y | news Winona LaDuke, some of South Florida’s in- One day, when Billie was about 5 years digenous people in 1957 opted to form the Sem- old, the kids went “further and further and inole Tribe and become federally recognized. Photo by Deirdra Funcheon ran onto [the highway]. Chain gangs were “Each person who signed up got 25 bucks and Still, Billie resisted, maintaining instead Walk across Florida with Billie on March 20. cleaning up the side of the road. We looked became eligible for various federal benefits.” that a treaty signed by President James Polk at them — white and brown and black doing Another group formed the Mic- in the 1800s remains in effect and grants na- memorated or celebrated. They were nothing it — we didn’t even know what we run into!” cosukee Tribe separately in 1962. tives the rights to all of Southwest Florida. more than cold-blooded, savage killers.” ge | Night+ dA

A Scared, the kids hid in a bush until their Billie, however, found absurd the con- “All of the people on the reservation want This year, in fighting a bill that would t parents came home. “We said, ‘We had no cept of needing to be recognized. “The seed to be white.” To some, he says, “it’s more allow amateur collectors to keep ar- idea what that was!’ They told us, ‘OK, get in come from corn; pumpkins come from important — the dollar, the nice car, nice tifacts, he wrote, “We tell you: Do not the car.’ They took us to Miami, and we found pumpkins,” he says. “Those things know house, restaurants — than God’s gift.” disturb the Spirits of the Water.” out we are not the only ones living here.” who they are and what they are supposed Years went by. Billie did odd jobs, married, Last month, his priority was object- That’s how Billie, now age 71, learned to do. We already know who we are.” had children, and divorced. (His ex-wife suc- ing to the Sabal Trail gas pipeline, pro- there was a world beyond the swamp. In “I remember the political changes well,” cessfully sued him for child support in 2010 in posed to run through 12 Florida counties. the years that followed, he witnessed the says Billie. There were “big meetings and big Orange County, where Billie testified in court, The prophecy has told him that part of founding of the Seminole and Miccosukee people from Washington there.” He says his “We don’t recognize the United States.”) Florida is going to break off and sink. He tribes. Today, he and just a few dozen oth- people were mis- “I’m a private person,” he says. But “one predicts an explosion along the gas line. ers stand out for having refused to join ei- l ed. “They thought day the message came… You are going to need He says he feels alone in his struggle, but ther one. They call themselves the Original “IF THEY they were securing to speak. The people are destroying nature.” his niece Betty Osceola says there are “hun- Miccosukee Simanolee Nation Aboriginal RECOGNIZE ME, their rights to live Across the Atlantic Ocean lived Shannon dreds” who have foregone tribal member- People (sometimes called “the indepen- as they always had. Larsen, a self-described American hippie ship. (She joined the Miccosukee Tribe in | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | | music | dish | film | Art | s | music dish film Art THE SEMINOLE dents”). They insist that a treaty from the My uncle started to who had married and moved to Norway. her 20s and now runs Buffalo Tiger airboats 1800s granted Indians all of Southwest TRIBE AND go to night school. There, Larsen, now age 71, remembers, concession.) Sometimes agencies dismiss Florida and has never been superseded. MICCOSUKEE He started read- “Something kept saying, ‘Help! Help! Help!’ ” his opinion because his group is not feder- Billie has dedicated his life to stand- TRIBES HAVE ing.” He warned She felt called home, though she hadn’t been ally recognized. It’s politically tricky, he says: ing up for environmental and indigenous NO STANDING.” the elders they in Florida for 16 years. Upon her return, she “If they recognize me, the Seminole Tribe causes. On March 20, he will host a five-day, would have to give found polluted rivers and beaches. One day, and Miccosukee tribes have no standing.” 80-mile “Walk for Future Generations” up the land. The Seminoles ended up with she felt steered to the Brighton Indian Reser- These days, Billie says, he still leads cer- across the state. Along the way, nightly fire- six reservation areas in Florida. The Mic- vation on the north side of Lake Okeechobee. emonies and comforts the sick. He has been side chats with him offer a rare, intimate cosukees got several parcels and a lease In a small shop, she explained her story. asked to speak in other countries but refuses glimpse into a deeply private community. to use 189,000 acres of the Everglades. The clerk said, “See our medicine man. to get a passport. “He won’t come under Wearing a traditional patchwork shirt, According to a State of Florida website, He’s the one who handles these things.” American domination,” Larsen explains. with his shoulder-length gray hair swept in 1970, the Indian Claims Commission Billie, the spiritual leader, first sent her Osceola respects her uncle’s position. back, he settles onto a bench in a park in awarded the Seminoles “(of both Oklahoma away but then called her back. That was “Some of our people don’t feel they need to Central Florida’s Lake Placid to tell his and Florida, collectively) $12,347,500 for the 1990. Since then, the two have partnered (not have a piece of paper to declare that they’re story. His ancestors, he explains, taught land taken from them by the U.S. military.” romantically, they say). She helps him track an indigenous person,” she says. “We have

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW him to revere seeds and plants and natu- Billie remembers the day. “Lake legislation and draft responses. They have our way of life that the creator gave to us.” New Times Broward-palm B each New Times Broward-palm ral cycles; even ashes had a purpose. Okeechobee was making a noise – a loud spoken out at park-service meetings and leg- Osceola says the Walk for Future Genera- But Tamiami Trail was built in the 1920s, noise.” A nephew asked, “Did you hear that?” islative hearings. They have fought historians, tions will begin with camp setup and registra- effectively damming the flow of water in the They asked around, but no white people archaeologists, and construction projects; Bil- tion on March 18 at Trail Lakes Campground River of Grass from north to south. Ever- had heard it. An elder explained, “It’s just lie even filed as a plaintiff to stop construction in Ochopee. Then starting March 20, walkers glades National Park was established in 1949 letting you know something is going to hap- on the sacred Miami Circle site in Brickell. will proceed along Tamiami Trail. The walk is

XX, 2012 XX, and Big Cypress National Preserve in 1974. pen.” Then they saw in the newspaper that With Larsen transcribing, Billie has com- meant bring attention to fracking, the archae- 23, 2016 23, The park service prohibited fires and insti- the settlement deal had been reached. posed multipage – and rather poetic – letters ology bill, a proposed FPL plant, and more.

ONTH tuted rules that ruined their way of farming. He In the years that followed, tribes modern- to everyone from Barack Obama to Queen The public is welcome to join. arch vowed: “I’m not going to forgive you. I’m going ized. Kids went to school. Christian churches Elizabeth. When Florida in 2011 sought to Find the Walk for Future Genera- to be challenging you as long as I’m on Earth.” arose on reservations. The Seminoles led a commemorate the “discovery” of the state, tions page on Facebook for details. 17-M XX–M Drunk hunters would shoot and endanger nationwide effort to build bingo halls and ca- he dashed off a correction: European set- Billie is hopeful the younger generation will

arch them, Billie says. So families came out of the sinos on Indian land. Miccosukees followed. tlers “tortured and slaughtered our People heed his call to protect nature. “I want them ONTH M M deep swamp and moved to villages along The tribes became economic powerhouses. — young or old, the women or the men, to know they can do better... As long as I’m on the Trail. Job options were limited because Nearly all natives enrolled in tribes. Enrolled children or babies. They died for us... Co- the Earth, I’m going to be reminding them.” they hadn’t learned to speak English. His members receive dividends from casino prof- lumbus, Ponce de Leon, Pedro Menendez, [email protected] 4 people had always honored an oral tradition. its, reportedly as much as $10,000 a month. Desoto, and the others should not be com- 4 browardpalmbeach.com | CONTENTS | PULP NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM DISH MUSIC

MIAMI’S BIGGEST TENNIS TOURNAMENT IS LIKELY HEADED OUT OF TOWN, AND HERE’S WHY. | CONTENTS | PULP | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | DISH | MUSIC | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | ndy Murray is melting in the Florida this past December, it now seems likely the tournament time as possible in the sun. heat. It’s the final round — set three, will soon leave town for good. So Hugh moved permanently to South Florida and, game one — of the Miami Open, the big- “It’s a shame,” says Butch Buchholz, the Open’s with his father’s money, attempted to turn Key Bis- gest tennis tournament in Florida, the founder. “One person has done this. One person.” cayne into an empire. He brought in 60 workers from second-biggest in America, and, for at the Bahamas who planted thousands of coconut trees Aleast a little while longer, the fifth-biggest in the world. ruce Matheson hits the accelerator and plunges across the island. He dredged canals across the key, set The match is even at one set each. As the game draws to a beat-up, yellow-white Ford Expedition over up massive water wheels to irrigate the land, and laid a close, he tosses the ball up and drives a serve toward B the Rickenbacker Causeway and onto the out a series of huge cisterns to catch rainwater for his his opponent, wheezing in the process. northern tip of Crandon Park. Stains pockmark the employees to drink. Across the net, Serbian Novak Djokovic, the top- truck’s gray cloth seats, and the back is crammed with At the island’s westernmost point, the Mathesons ranked male player in the world, swats the ball back with boxes and old newspaper clippings, though his 72-foot built a massive estate called “Mashta” — an Egyptian ease. He fans shots to the opposite corners, forcing the Argosy yacht is docked not far away. Used napkins name for “resting house by the sea.” The home was Brit to wind-sprint back and forth along the baseline. choke the cup holders. modeled after a palace W.J. Matheson had seen while It’s cruel. Eventually, Murray runs out of gas and flops Matheson, age 70, is a huge presence. He’s nearly sailing down the Nile. The courtyards spread out in ev- a halfhearted shot straight into the net. He crumples six-foot-five and drives with his chin poking out over ery direction, not unlike James Deering’s Villa Vizcaya, over his racket. Advantage Djokovic. the steering wheel, stretching his bird-like nose over which was built at roughly the same time in Coconut Murray looks faint, grimacing between points and the dash. His brown hair is parted to the side and is Grove. “Mashta was a party house,” George says. “They wobbling from side to side on his feet, trying in vain to pinned in place by his huge, oblong ears. He wears had the Vanderbilts, Carnegies, the Mellons there.” summon his last drops of energy. oval-shaped glasses. W.J. instilled a love for nature and animals in his tage | a rt | Film D ish m usi C Smelling blood, Djokovic hammers a series of “Do you see how the road vanishes?” he booms children. His son Hugh adopted two Galapagos tor- powerful volleys at Murray. After a few strokes, the in a vintage South Florida drawl. Thick expanses of toises. The family even brought back a whole flock curly-haired 27-year-old Murray sends another half- trees and mangroves arch along both sides of Crandon of flamingos, then extinct in the United States, from hearted backhand straight into the net, dropping the Boulevard, the main highway slicing through the park. Andros Island in the Bahamas. first game of the third set. The plants turn the lanes into tunnels. You’re supposed (Years later, Finlay Matheson, W.J.’s grandson Murray staggers immediately to the sideline, cracks to feel like you’re getting lost deep in the forest. The and Bruce’s uncle, adopted emus and kept them on open a plastic water bottle filled with a greenish-yellow entire park is a mecca of unblemished nature and his Coconut Grove estate. In 1998, one emu escaped energy drink, and gulps it down. He tries to summon ample parking. from its enclosure and began sprinting through the his coach for more liquid, but there isn’t time. Murray The island of Key Biscayne is roughly five miles long city streets at 35 miles per hour — five miles over the staggers back onto the court and drops the next game, and split into thirds. Crandon Park’s 800 acres take up speed limit at the time. “My brother Michael got it consistently flubbing shots. As he goes down 2-0, he the top section. In the middle sits a village of roughly cornered in by a swimming pool,” Finlay’s son, also gnashes his teeth and mouths, “I’m gone.” 12,000 people – a place of immense wealth where tennis named Finlay, says, “but the emu kicked a piece of In a news conference later, Murray apologizes for and golf play an outsized role. Bill Baggs Cape Florida PVC pipe out, and my brother ended up soaked, head wilting. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it more of a fight in State Park makes up the bottom third. to toe, and covered in emu shit.”) the third set,” he says. “I was trying, but my legs were Bruce’s great-grandfather was W.J. Matheson, a In the 1930s, Dade County Commissioner Charles

tired, and I couldn’t quite make it happen.” Later, scientist, inventor, world traveler, and, around the turn Crandon offered a trade: The family would give land to NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH New Times Broward-palm B each Djokovic calls the park’s conditions “brutal.” of the 20th Century, one of the country’s richest men. the county, and in return a bridge would be built to the The 13,000-seat Crandon Park Tennis Center on Key The son of a Scottish sugar farmer, he made a fortune island. In 1939, W.J. Matheson’s three heirs — Hugh, Biscayne can be a hothouse, melting even high-level in upstate New York selling synthetic dyes to factories Malcolm, and Anna — agreed, under one condition: players like Murray as if they were on Mars. As top-flight during the early 20th Century. Having built himself into The land must be used “for public park purposes only.” stadiums like Wimbledon have added retractable roofs, an aristocrat —he later befriended Theodore Roosevelt Private companies — like, say, the one that now operates Crandon remains uncovered and behind the times. The — he sent Bruce’s father, Hugh, to the Adirondack- the Miami Open — would be banned. lighting rigs are temporary, as are about 5,000 seats. Florida School, a prestigious academy that sent boys Bruce Matheson recalls this history as he trudges By county rules, everything is installed no earlier than away to a camp in the Sunshine State for half the year. out toward the beach at Crandon. A few families sit by 45 days before the tournament begins, which creates After some pleading, Hugh eventually convinced W.J. the water. A wild iguana perches on a tree stump but chaos. Many of the restrooms are portable. The property to sail down and visit. The young man’s father quickly scurries away when Matheson approaches. A pair of was formerly a landfill, and the entire site is sinking. fell in love with the land. thick-breasted turkey vultures swoops by overhead. Next week, the tennis center will host Djokovic, “The elder Matheson had this wanderlust, this “Want to know the difference between a buzzard Murray, Serena Williams, Rafael Nadal, and the rest of love for adventure, like, ‘Let me send my son into this and a turkey vulture?” he asks. “Buzzards have black tennis’ greats for the Miami Open. But soon, tennis’ best primeval world,’ ” historian Paul George says. “Florida heads. Turkey vultures have red ones.” may no longer compete here. Roger Federer, notably, is was very raw at the time, in its infancy.” Bruce Matheson grew up in South Miami. As a teen, skipping the tournament for the third time in four years. In 1902, W.J. Matheson bought up land for a massive he was sent off to a boarding school in New Jersey. In his downtime, he sailed with his father in South Florida. He M

Though IMG, a New York-based sports management winter estate in what is now Coconut Grove. Six years M ONTH

firm that owns the tournament, has offered to spend later, he started purchasing tracts on Key Biscayne attended college but didn’t graduate, then spent most arch

roughly $50 million to beef up the grounds — and too. Around that time, Hugh graduated from Yale of his time traveling the globe as a salesman for a metal XX–M

Miami-Dade County voters overwhelmingly approved and began working in his father’s factories. But the fabrication company in Texas. He has never married, 17-M the proposal — an unlikely obstacle has arisen: Bruce son soon came down with lead poisoning, a common has no children, and is intensely secretive. According arch Matheson, scion of one of Miami’s founding families. illness for factory workers at the time. His joints hurt, to court documents, he splits his time between his girl- ONTH And backed by Florida’s Third District Court of his kidneys were failing, and he was struck with bouts friend’s Coconut Grove apartment and the 72-foot boat 23, 2016 Appeal, which quashed a lawsuit the tournament filed of delirium. His doctors told him to spend as much docked at the Biscayne Bay Yacht Club. Most of >> p8 XX, 2008 BY JERRY IANNELLI

Photo by Karli Evans 77 Open and Shut from p7

his life is spent micromanaging park minutiae, like fence-post heights at Crandon Park. He is a well-meaning curmudgeon, incapable of letting even the smallest detail slide. This explains why the Miami Open infuri- ates him so. Pulling into the Crandon Park Tennis Center, he comes upon a sea of activ-

browardpalmbeach.com ity: Giant cranes are everywhere. Men blast the sidewalks with power washers. Golf carts whiz by, carrying men holding clipboards. It’s preparation time for the tournament, which begins March 21, and white tents for food and souvenir stands are popping up all over. For a tennis fan, this is hallowed ground. But Matheson’s temperature rises just seeing the beehive of activity. He parks his truck and trudges out, his mouth melting into a frown. “We don’t hate tennis,” he says, speaking for the family. “I used to play tennis in high school, actually.” What it’s about, Matheson says, is ensuring Crandon Park doesn’t fall into the grubby hands of private develop- ers. But his opponents say the county has, instead, allowed the park to fall into Matheson’s own grubby hands. “The Mathesons weren’t conser- vationists,” says Gene Stearns, the )YV^HYKPU tournament’s lawyer. “Look at what it took to plow Crandon Boulevard right `V\YWVJRL[ through the park. Our friend Mathe- son just wants the tournament gone.”

liff Drysdale is 74 years old and in C stunningly good shape. His hair is dark and thick. His eyes seem wild. He runs a tennis clinic at the Ritz-Carlton on Key Biscayne — today, he’s in playing mode, wearing a loose-fitting shirt and glasses with a strap tied behind his ears. Despite the fact that he looks like the world’s strongest librarian, he’s a tennis legend — formerly Photo by Geoff Burke/USA Today Sports/Newscom the world’s fourth-ranked player. He also Novak Djokovic has won four of the last five Miami tournaments. | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | STAGE | NIGHT+DAY | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | | PULP CONTENTS | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | MUSIC DISH FILM ART ran men’s pro tennis for a short stint in the ’70s. He’s now ESPN’s most prominent wanted to have a player’s championship, nently, in a new stadium, to be built in Weston tennis announcer and has called every sort of like the player’s championship in in 1987. But as the contest neared, it became Miami tournament for the network. As golf. It was to be a men’s and women’s clear construction wouldn’t be completed he speaks, a dozen small children chase event, with a two-week format.” on time. “It was still pretty barren,” Butch tennis balls around a fenced-in court. Butch, who was living in Connecticut at says. “The roads were totally unfinished.” “There was a time when there were the time, says he intentionally chose South As the brothers scrambled to find a place rumors of Miami overtaking the Aus- Florida to create a bridge among the North to play, Butch says he ran into Merrett Stier- The Broward-Palm Beach New tralian Open as a major,” Drysdale says. American, European, and South American heim, who had been Dade County manager Times App keeps you connected “It’s not going to happen now. And if tennis markets. “We wanted close contact from 1976 to 1986 but was then heading the with things to do, places to go, and the tournament leaves, you lose ex- with Latin America, since there wasn’t a Women’s Tennis Association. “I said, ‘For up-to-the-minute news. posure for the city, worldwide.” major event down there,” he says. “We al- heaven’s sakes, why don’t you bring the tour- The tournament began in 1985 under most wanted to create a South American nament to Miami?’ ” Stierheim, who recently the auspices of Drysdale’s close friends, Open.” At the time, the Lipton Tea Co. had underwent heart surgery, said over the phone. 0[»ZMYLL Butch and Cliff Buchholz. They were the already been sponsoring a tournament Butch Buchholz said Dade County Deputy outside Jacksonville. Buchholz, who had Parks Director Chuck Pezoldt then began NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM +V^USVHKP[[VKH` sons of a former pro from St. Louis — by the time the boys were in their teens, their a friend in Lipton’s beverage-sales depart- scoping out locations. “We saw Tropical father had migrated to coaching. Jimmy ment, convinced the company to pony up Park, Haulover Park, Amelia Earhart Park. Connors, the best male player in the ’70s $1.5 million to sponsor the tournament. The last one we went to was Key Biscayne,” not named Björn Borg, trained in their In 1985, the first Lipton’s International Buchholz recalls. At the time, the site was dad’s program. Chuck McKinley, who won Players Championship was held in Delray occupied by a landfill. “He said, ‘We’ve been Wimbledon without losing a set in 1963, Beach. Tim Mayotte, a tall, rangy New Yorker, trying to figure out what to do with this 23, 2016 23, grew up alongside Butch, the elder brother. battled back from two sets down to win the dump for a long time.’ There was a dead As a pro, Butch Buchholz was rail- inaugural final over his childhood friend dog in there, old refrigerators, sofas. The ARCH thin, wore Lacoste shirts, and combed Scott Davis. Mayotte took home $112,000. smell was just terrible. But going over the (The total purse has since grown to more bridge was really beautiful — you could see 17-M a thick head of hair to the side. Now in his 70s, he’s grown shaggier and has a than $5 million.) On the women’s side, Mar- the skyline. It felt like a postcard. And the

ARCH grandfatherly air about him. After retir- tina Navratilova beat Chris Evert in straight fact that they wanted to do something to

M ing from tennis, Buchholz later ran the sets. The next year, the tournament moved get rid of the dump felt like it made sense.” Scan this code to download, or men’s pro league in 1981 and 1982. to the Boca West facility in Boca Raton. In 1986, the tournament built 15 tennis search for “Broward-Palm Beach “The [Miami] tournament was re- Hungry for a permanent home, the Buch- courts on the property. Key Biscayne hosted New Times” in the app stores. ally Butch’s idea,” brother Cliff says. “He holzes struck a deal to start playing, perma- its first Lipton Tournament the following 8 browardpalmbeach.com year, accommodating 213,000 people in permanent, and bleachers would be set up browardpalmbeach.com temporary bleachers. Miroslav Mecir, a ce- each year for the tournament. A new Cran- rebral, slow-moving player from Slovakia, don Park Master Plan would be drafted by took the men’s final in straight sets. Among the Olmstead Firm, which had designed the women, Steffi Graf won her first of five Central Park in New York City. The stadium Miami championships, beating Evert. eventually opened in 1994. (The settle- But the players still needed a ment agreement required the county to pay proper clubhouse, and the tourna- Matheson’s legal fees, which at one point ment required a stadium. totaled close to half a million dollars.) “This,” Buchholz says, “is where things But, the mediators said, if the Mathe- get a little bit cloudy. Obviously, we didn’t son family objected to the Master Plan, | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | think there would be a problem.” Buchholz a five-person team, including Matheson | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | maintains he was never warned about any himself, would settle any issues that arose. of the Matheson family’s deeds before set- In hindsight, Bruce Matheson’s critics ting up plans to build the tennis center at — and there have been many over the years Crandon Park. By any estimation, the county — say he installed himself as Crandon Park’s rushed the deal through without seriously “dictator.” He objected to huge portions of the pondering future issues. Bruce Mathe- plan, tried to kick out softball fields, and at- son’s one-man war was still in the future. tempted to raze a children’s playground. But Matheson points out that those things never round Thanksgiving of 1992, Bruce happened. “I’m just here to ensure the park is Matheson sat in a cushy office in protected for all future generations,” he says. A Boston, staring across a table at In 1996, the village of Key Biscayne Butch Buchholz, then-Miami-Dade County sued the county, claiming, among other Manager Joaquin Aviño, a host of lawyers, things, that Matheson’s control of the park and Roger Fisher, the man who’d settled the was unconstitutional. The village lost. Camp David accords. In the late ’80s, the Most important, the settlement agree- Matheson family embarked on a winding ment prohibited the tournament from build- path of lawsuits aimed at blocking the Buch- ing any additional structures on stadium holzes from building a stadium in Crandon grounds. Realizing that last clause could Park. Perhaps sensing doom, the county prove disastrous, Butch Buchholz refused to tage | a rt | Film D ish m usi C suggested the three parties meet in a neutral sign off on any of the resolutions that sprang location with a trained mediator. At the time, from the mediation sessions. But the county Fisher was likely the best in the world. eventually agreed to Matheson’s demands. One county representative “opened with “That was a mistake,” says Stierheim, who a story about these two women,” Matheson watched it happen from the sidelines. “We told New Times in 1996. “There was one never should have agreed to that.” The orange on the table, and both [of those pres- plan was eventually ratified in 2000. ent] wanted it. So what were you going to In 1999, the Buchholz brothers decided do? Cut the orange in half? Well, when you to sell the tournament to IMG. (IMG is now found out in conversation that one of them owned by Rahm Emanuel’s brother Ari wanted orange juice and the other wanted to Emanuel, who served as the basis for Jeremy make marmalade, you let one person have all Piven’s character on Entourage.) “We sold the juice and you let the other person have because of tennis politics, mostly,” Butch all the skin, and they were both happy.” Buchholz says. Pro tennis had sold the sport’s What the Matheson family wanted had marketing and TV rights to an outside com- NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH been obvious for years. In 1988, a coalition pany, thus taking away a huge cash source. New Times Broward-palm B each of 60 Key Biscayners, including Matheson “What were we going to do?” Buchholz asks. family members, sued Dade County, claim- “Sell hamburgers, hot dogs, and T-shirts?” ing the Lipton Tournament’s use of Crandon By that time, the tournament had ex- violated the original Matheson deeds. The ploded in popularity. Pete Sampras and Andre suit halted construction at the tennis center. Agassi spent a decade slugging it out on the “You don’t turn a privately dedicated tennis center’s hardcourt. In 1996, Agassi lost public park into a commercial devel- to upstart Marcelo Ríos — the win catapulted opment zone,” Matheson growled, Ríos to the number-one ranking, making him recalling his feelings at the time. the first Chilean to earn it. The day Ríos won, In 1990, an appellate court decided that Santiago’s streets erupted in celebration. the tennis center needed to serve a “public Among women players, Serena Wil- park purpose” to stay. (The center remains liams has won the tournament eight open to the public for all but the tournament’s times, more than anyone else. 12 days.) In 1991, the Mathesons sued again. The tournament ran through a host of Threatened with never-ending litiga- sponsors, from Lipton to Sony. In March tion, Dade County suggested the mediation 2004, at what was then called the NAS- in Boston. Bruce was chosen to represent DAQ-100 Open, 22-year-old Roger Federer M ONTH the family, which had ballooned to more was matched against 16-year-old Rafael M arch

than 130 heirs spread all over the country. Nadal, then an unknown talent. Federer, XX–M

County lawyer Robert Ginsburg re- ranked first overall, was the heavy favor- 17-M cruited Fisher, a fellow Harvard graduate, ite; Nadal sat at number 34. But during the ONTH to mediate the dispute. At a cost of $20,000 match, Nadal kicked into a gear few knew arch — which the county paid, Matheson says he had, taking the first set and then the sec- XX, 2008 — the group shuffled in and out of meet- ond. The famously calm Federer fell into a 23, 2016 ings for two straight days. “Matheson rage, crushing the ball harder and harder. didn’t say much,” Cliff Buchholz says. Eventually, Nadal won in straight sets. Eventually, the county agreed to this: The next year, Federer beat Nadal in Provided the Mathesons stopped su- the NASDAQ-100 final, battling back from ing, the tennis center would be built. But a 0-2 deficit and setting up a rivalry that only 7,500 of the stadium’s seats would be lasted more than a decade. >> p10 9 9 Open and Shut from p9

The tournament became a glamorous, worldwide event, to the point that Vogue Edi- tor Anna Wintour attended in 2011. But at the same time, the stadium itself started looking more like a relic. While the tournament was barred from renovating the stadium grounds, investors were pumping money browardpalmbeach.com browardpalmbeach.com into the tournament’s main competitor. That tournament, known informally as the Indian Wells Open, is held each year in California’s Coachella Valley. In 2009, gonzo tech billionaire Larry Ellison, the world’s fifth-richest man, bought the entire Indian Wells tournament and started stuffing fist- ts | o N te ts fuls of money into the grounds. “Indian Wells has invested millions of dollars into their facilities,” says Cliff Drysdale. “And it pays dividends. The place is jammed with people. It’s sort of downgraded the Miami tournament in the minds of the players.”

hen construction started on

ews | pulp c y | N ews Crandon Boulevard in 1999, law- W yer Gene Stearns led a protest against it. “One day, bulldozers started showing up and started ripping up the median strip in front of the tennis center. Everybody went, ‘What the hell is going on here?’ ” He soon found out: The county had ge | Night+ dA

A agreed to build a tunnel that would con- t nect the parking lot to the Crandon Tennis Center. The road would need to be elevated and the trees surrounding the tunnel torn out. Stearns and his friends bought wooden stakes, tied yellow ribbons on them, and marched down Harbor Drive with their arms linked. “We literally planted a thou- sand stakes. It was civil disobedience to the extreme. Who in the hell thought this was a good idea for two weeks a year?” These days, Stearns, an egg-headed man with large, round glasses, is the chief Photo by Karli Evans lawyer representing the tournament. He Bruce Matheson claims to speak for the 130-person Matheson family, which once owned | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | | music | dish | film | Art | s | music dish film Art is also Bruce Matheson’s nemesis. “I don’t most of Key Biscayne. think Bruce likes me very much,” he says. He characterizes Matheson as a rube Despite some trepidation, county com- But the tournament isn’t rolling over. who never graduated from college and missioners set a referendum on the plan. In January, when IMG began selling tick- has no formal degree in anything, let Matheson took up arms. “They were ets for a Duran Duran concert to be held alone park planning. Matheson, he says, under a court order not to build any new at the tennis center on April 1, the Vil- is an undeserving heir, a man given far too structures on the property,” he says. As the lage of Key Biscayne demanded it stop. much power for far too long. With Cran- vote neared, he took out a series of full-page On January 26, tournament director don Park, Stearns says, “Matheson is try- ads in the Miami Herald denouncing the Adam Barrett, wearing a gray suit, went ing to preserve a 1950s park museum.” plan. The referendum on the plan was held before the village council to address the is- On August 23, 2012, Stearns stood in November 6, 2012, and 73 percent of vot- sue. Barrett has dark hair, small eyes, and front of Miami-Dade’s Board of County ers — more than 500,000 people — backed a smile that tends to melt into a grimace. Commissioners, gesticulating at a series of the Tennis Center upgrade. In a last-ditch His voice is somewhat nasal in tone. He posterboards that sat to his left. “What began effort to salvage the tournament, Stearns gripped both sides of the podium and said: as an idea for a professional tennis tourna- sued Matheson and Dade County, claim- “We have no intent to create any ill will

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW ment in our community has turned into the ing Matheson had no say in the upgrade. with the village. If there’s a way we can... New Times Broward-palm B each New Times Broward-palm single most important economic engine He lost – and then failed on appeal. create a win-win situation for both of us, in Dade County,” he claimed. “According Stearns is now trying to appeal again. If we would love to have that conversation.” to the most recent study, it generated over that goes nowhere, he says the Open has Village Councilman Michael Kelly then $380 million in investment and spending in no choice but to move. Buenos Aires and cut Barrett off. “Mr. Barrett, with all due Miami-Dade County in the last year alone.” Shanghai have been mentioned as possi- respect,” he began, “your explanation as

XX, 2012 XX, What the tournament needed, Stearns bilities. The lawyer notes that Orlando just to why you’re doing this is utter B.S.” Kelly

23, 2016 23, claimed, was a tune-up. With his Brahmin built a $60 million, 100-court facility and then added: “Obviously, this was a mon-

ONTH charisma, Stearns pitched the county on a proposed bringing the Open there. There’s eymaking ploy, and you chose to ignore arch $50 million Tennis Center upgrade. The main a hang-up, though. IMG still has eight years the restriction that goes with that land.” court’s temporary seats would become per- left on its contract with Miami-Dade County. Barre tt recoiled, his eyebrows shooting XX–M 17-M manent. Three of the practice courts, he said, “There are other communities that will to the top of his forehead, his head shrink- would be converted into permanent stadiums. pay hundreds of millions of dollars,” Cliff ing down into his torso like a turtle. “Ev- ONTH arch

M The tournament would also build a mas- Drysdale says. “Larry Ellison paid hundreds eryone is free to their opinion,” he said. M sive promenade with a 35-foot clock tower of millions of dollars for Indian Wells... It’s The concert was moved to Bayfront Park. sprouting from the center. And, Stearns a matter of what Orlando will do or what 10 claimed, his client would pay for everything. Beijing or Tokyo or Buenos Aires will do.” [email protected] 10 browardpalmbeach.com browardpalmbeach.com THURSDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY PAGE 11 PAGE 12 PAGE 12 The Irish invade South Flor- Tiny-instrument enthusiasts PrideFest takes to the streets ida for St. Patrick’s Day. gather for the Ukulele Fest. in Lake Worth. | Contents | pulp news | | CONTENTS | PULP | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | DISH | MUSIC | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS |

® NIGHTWEEKOF MARCH 17 - MARCH 23, 2016 WWW.BROWARDPALMBEACH.COM/CALENDARDAY and-bourbon-glazed pork belly. The famous “bacon bar” is also back: $3 slices of bacon THU 3/17 served on a stick and covered in toppings like caramel-almond, pecan-rosemary, and ▼ ST. PATRICK’S DAY chocolate-peanut. And don’t leave without a

scoop of Ben & Jerry’s Bourbon and Brown Night+Day | s LUCK OF THE IRISH Butter ice cream to top it all off. The second- The Irish are known for a couple of things: annual Delray Beach Bacon & Bourbon Fest being lucky and drinking. All right, so that will take place Friday and Saturday from probably doesn’t hold true for all Irish. Ste- noon to 11 p.m. General admission is $25. Visit reotypes hurt. However – for better or worse, delraybaconandbourbonfest.com. NICOLE DANNA stereotype or not – on St. Patrick’s Day, much tage | a rt | Film dish m usi C of the world celebrates by getting drunk. ▼ ART Look, it’s probably not the legacy ol’ Patrick would have wanted either, but here we are: PERFORMANCE • American Social is hosting a Sham- rock Soiree. Like a white party, but green, STANDARDS the suggested attire for the evening is the Pablo Picasso’s assertion that “good art color of St. Paddy’s Day beer. The festivi- bristles with razor blades” comes to mind ties begin during happy hour, from 4 to 8 when considering “The Nerve,” a two-day p.m., with 50 percent off everything behind festival of performance art at FAT Village. the bar. DJ Livitup is spinning. Am So is And it’s not just because it will feature the featuring $5 Green Bud Light, $6 Jameson, work of Linda Behar and Rahaleh Filsoofi, $8 Jameson Mules, $7 Crown and Crown whose performance “Whose Blood Is Red- Apple, $6 Guinness drafts, and $6 Captain der?” will use their own blood and printing Morgans. American Social is located at 721 E. ink to make a statement about the Middle Las Olas Blvd. in Fort Lauderdale. Call 954- East. Many of the 14 artists participating 764-7005, or visit americansocialbar.com. in this eclectic showcase of an underap- New Times Broward-palm B each • Shooters Waterfront is asking guests to preciated — and often maligned — medium NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH wear green while sipping verdant beverages. work on the fringes of artistic acceptance: The restaurant is celebrating the patron saint GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE “The Nerve” is intended to be provocative, of Ireland with $5 Jameson Irish Whiskey “The Nerve,” unpredictable, and, well, unnerving. Some shots and $3 green brews. Expect to see party Friday participants will perform ongoing installa- favors and complimentary four-leaf-clover tions for the two days, while others will stage cookies. Shooters Waterfront is located at Courtesy of Rosemarie Romero their art at specific times. The results will 3033 NE 32nd Ave. in Fort Lauderdale. Call $15. The Funky Biscuit is located at 303 SE events, extended festival hours, and tented run a gamut from playful humor to sobering 954-566-2855, or visit shooterswaterfront.com. Mizner Blvd. in Boca Raton. Call 561-395-2929, festival grounds. There’s even a (paper) pig political commentary, from drag shows and • LauderAle wants you to dance the Irish or visit funkybiscuit.com. SARA VENTIERA race planned. Most important, the Delray monologues to live music and puppet the- jig while listening to live bagpipes. The Beach Bacon & Bourbon Fest will have more ater. In Strength Test, Lisa Marie Stephens brewery is not dying its beers, but it is featur- of the two things everyone loves: booze and will attempt to split 50 cement blocks with a ing a special Irish Car Bomb randall. Fire bacon. Like last year, guests will be able to sledgehammer (take that, Gallagher!), while & Ice BBQ truck is serving special holiday FRI 3/18 sample and learn about more than 40 bour- Nina Gregg’s Breathing Box is an interac- offerings in addition to its usual fare. The bons — including some of the rarest and tive sculpture that requires the collective festivities kick off at 4 p.m. LauderAle is ▼ FOOD + DRINK hardest-to-find in the world – from six bars breathing of audience members to bring located at 3305 SE 14th Ave. in Fort Lauder- catering to different drinking styles. A neat it “alive.” Rosemarie Romero’s Porn Nails, M

dale. Call 954-653-9711, or visit lauderale.co. and on-the-rocks bar will allow patrons to meanwhile, is poised to be the weirdest nail M BACON! ONTH

• Tilted Kilt, Fort Lauderdale’s newest Few foods generate more passion than ba- sample bourbon and whiskey straight, while salon you’re ever likely to enter. Tickets run arch

breastaurant, is offering drink specials, con, and that passion is at the heart of the another bar will be dedicated to serving five $12 to $15 for a day pass and $20 to $25 for XX–M

raffles, and performances by the Black Pearl second-annual Delray signature cocktails, each a two-day pass, and the event runs from 7 17-M Pipes and Drums with a view. It’s offering Beach Bacon and Bour- GET OUR FREE APP batched “on tap” for to 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday at FAT Vil- arch $7 Irish Car Bombs as well as $5 Guinness, bon Fest, which returns SCAN THIS CODE WITH YOUR faster service. Also new lage Projects, located at 521 NW First Ave. ONTH Blondes (beer), and IPA. Tilted Kilt is located to the city’s downtown iPHONE OR ANDROID this year, an optional $10 in Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-760-5900, or

FOR MORE EVENTS 23, 2016 XX, 2008 at 219 S. Andrews Ave. in Fort Lauderdale. this Friday and Satur- OR VISIT: browardpalmbeach.com pass will get you access to visit fatvillageprojects.com. JOHN THOMASON Call 954-763-KILT, or visit tiltedkilt.com. day. And this year, it’s a Bourbon Library all day • The Funky Biscuit is hosting a St. Patrick’s even better: Don’t expect the bacon bar to long, allowing entry to hourly rare releases ▼ WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH Day celebration with live performances by run dry or long lines. Instead, a number of alongside a limited number of people; and Portland-based string-infused Fruition and major enhancements will make this year’s six caterers will be onsite each day, making HERSTORY Grateful Dead tribute band Crazy Fingers. overall experience much better, includ- everything from a bacon-and-bourbon burger It’s nice that March is Women’s History Tickets start at $10; at the door, the price is ing new and exclusive seminars and dining to bacon-infused crab cakes and Dr. Pepper- Month. But, really, shouldn’t every day be a 1111 celebration of all things women? It’s almost ▼ LGBT EVENTS in defiance of mathematics and physics that we continue being so ass-backward STAND TOGETHER in our treatment of women, and quite What is pride? It’s being happy about who you frankly, enough is enough. Wilton Manors’ are no matter what anyone says to you make Pride Center knows what’s up and in the you feel contrary — epecially in South Florida, acknowledged month, it brings awareness where the LGBT pride scene is as robust as and a spirit of bonhomie to the proceed- ever. On Saturday, join PrideFest of Lake Worth ings with a Women’s History Month art show and the Palm Beaches not because of your sexual browardpalmbeach.com

browardpalmbeach.com for the community. Featuring the art of orientation but because it’s fun. If you’ve ever locals like Jennifer Ramos, Trish Stypka, been to a pride festival before, you know what Whitney Leon, Paloma Dueñas, Jane Kre- to expect. If not, get ready. Bryant Park is where inberg, Diana Escamilla, and Susan David, everyone meets for the action. Starting at noon, the Pride Center and cosponsor the Closet there will be nonstop entertainment. All-female Talk are pulling out all the stops with a D.C. alternative rockers Betty are expected to

ontents | ontents gallery show filled with music, food, and perform onstage Saturday. If you don’t know drinks accompanying the visuals. A little who they are, it’s time to get hip. Using spoken awareness and an opportunity to buy some word to heavy rock, the trio’s been touring cool pieces at nongallery prices are always together for nearly 30 years, raising awareness good things, but what’s most important is for a number of women’s rights, gay rights, for you to recognize the role of women in and human rights issues. It’s going to be a huge history and your life. All day, every day. celebration and should attract up to 20,000 Gallery reception is from 7 to 10 p.m. people. It’s possibly the biggest pride event for Friday at the Pride Center at Equality Park, the Treasure Coast and the Palm Beaches. Get 2040 N. Dixie Highway, Wilton Man- ready for rainbows, glitter, and lots of beefcake. ors. Free parking. Call 954-463-9005 or Don’t be fooled; it’s an all-ages event. Other visit pridecenterflorida.org. ABEL FOLGAR than entertainment, delicious food, awesome merchants, and fun and games await all. PrideFest begins at noon Saturday in Bry- ant Park, located at 6 S. Golfview Road in SAT 3/19 Lake Worth. Presale tickets cost $8 or are news | pulp c | news ge | Night+Day

A $10 at the gate. Tickets can be purchased on- t ▼ MUSIC line or at various locations. To get the list of ticket locations, visit compassglcc.com, or UKE FEST call 561-533-9699. DAVID MINSKY If we are to believe the personality test applied to other instruments (lead guitar ▼ ACTIVISM players crave the limelight, bass players and drummers prefer to solidly hold the beat DO SOMETHING down in the background), then where do Charitable nonprofits are great, and they can we really stand on ukulele players? Would help people in meaningful ways. But how do they be the fun and quirky types who have you know your contribution is really supporting nimble fingertips and excellent dexterity? the cause? It’s difficult to tell many times. And Those who hate loading lots of heavy gear with your money going toward enriching the from performance to performance? Are salary of a CEO and administrators who keep | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | | music | dish | film | Art | s | music dish film Art they Hawaiian history buffs who want to the gravy train rolling, it’s hard to get behind master the area’s beloved sound popular- their cause. Why trust people when you can ized by the small wooden instruments? do it yourself? This is what direct action is all Trick question – the ukulele player can be about. The RiSKi Action Coalition presents Spring all of these types and more. See evidence of Fling Cha-Chaing, its fourth-annual direct-action this during the fifth-annual South Florida food charity bike event. It’s a bicycle scavenger Ukulele Festival this weekend. Put on by the hunt to benefit the Peanut Butter and Jelly 500-plus members of FUN (that’s the Florida Project, a local charity feeding the homeless. Ukulele Network, of course), the festival is The 4.3-mile ride sets out from Equality Park for “ukulele lovers and the ukulele curious” in Wilton Manors. There’s no registration for in all of us with open mics, skill workshops, the event, but bring $20 to purchase the food vendors onsite, top ukulele performers, and items you’ll be donating directly at the end of even a ukulele brunch on Sunday followed the ride. Remember to bring a backpack to by a performance by the world-famous Wel- carry the goods and a bike lock, because you lington International Ukulele Orchestra don’t want your bike getting stolen. This isn’t

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW from New Zealand. Festivities start Friday a race, so riders of all experience are welcome. New Times Broward-palm B each New Times Broward-palm at 6 p.m. with a welcome party, the “Friday Registration begins at 2 p.m. Saturday at the Night Jam Stand,” at Two& (1517 E. Las Bunker at Equality Park (2034 N. Dixie High- Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) followed by a way in Wilton Manors), where there is also free day of workshops on Saturday at ArtServe parking. There will be two afterparties, with (1350 E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) ad- the first stop at Riverside Market (608 SW 12th

XX, 2012 XX, dressing all levels of ukulele and all styles Ave., Fort Lauderdale) before finishing up at 23, 2016 23, of music, from country and Americana to Two& (1517 E. Las Olas Blvd. in Fort Lauder-

ONTH blues, jazz, and swing. At 6:30 p.m. Satur- dale.) Visit facebook.com/riski.ac. DAVID MINSKY arch day, featured festival performers including Ukester Brown, Frets Halligan, and 17-M XX–M festival founder Ty Olopai will have a jam Send upcoming events to Arts & Culture Editor Rebecca

arch session. Festivities close out with a concert ONTH McBane at BrowardPalmBeach.com/submit-event. M

M on Sunday evening at Parker Playhouse. Include the location, date, time, price, a contact phone All-access passes for the three-day event number, and a high resolution photo. It’s best to submit start at $139 and are available for purchase at items three weeks in advance. southfloridaukulelefest.com. TERRA SULLIVAN 12 12 browardpalmbeach.com | Contents | pulp news |

Night+Day | s tage | a rt | Film dish m usi C New Times Broward-palm B each M arch 17-M arch 23, 2016

13 ▼ Art Steamy Stories browardpalmbeach.com

browardpalmbeach.com Naughty novels by Skye Michaels (a 65-year-old grandma) bring the heat. BY LEE ZIMMERMAN f course, there were romance novels long before Fifty Shades of Grey started flying

ts | o N te ts off bookshelves and ended up as a Hollywood movie. The Otawdry tales that litter drugstore aisles have been around seemingly forever, distinguished mainly by cover photos featuring hunky, bare- chested,musclebound men who are about to ravish innocent young maidens. But thanks to today’s eagerness for explicit expression and an apparent abundance of horny housewives, it seems the once-respectable romance novel c | pulp | N ews ay has transitioned into full-fledged soft porn and created a booming industry in the process. So credit Skye Michaels, a 65-year-old Da-

Night+ d vie grandmother, for taking advantage of that trend while adding a healthy dose of local flavor. Having adopted that nom de plume to

tage | tage protect her real identity — and presumably prevent her bridge partners from furrow- ing their brows in disdain – Michaels has become one of today’s more successful porno provocateurs. Her website, skyemichaels- Images courtesy of Skye Michaels books.com, leaves little to the imagination. Park Grand Hotel,” it’s clearly inspired by The author and one of her books. So far, she’s managed to keep the grand- gay-friendly Broward city Wilton Manors. kids from finding out how Grandma indulges Sample plot line: “MacAlister ‘Mac’ Smith, a Michaels, a divorced former paralegal at her imagination. “I went to my daughter’s biomedical engineer working on the design a Fort Lauderdale law firm, turned to writ- house for dinner one night,” Michaels recalls. of the latest mind-controlled robotic limbs, ing after being laid off from her job. Tired of “And my 13-year-old grandson met me at the had admired [paraplegic] Master Steel at the daily commute she had endured for 18 door all excited. ‘Grammy, is it true you wrote The Black Iris Club for months and thinks years, she decided she would pursue other four books?’ he asked. ‘Why yes,’ I answered he would make a good candidate for Mac’s avenues. “My daughter bought me a Kindle modestly. ‘Can I read them?’ he wanted to clinical trial.” Each story sells for about $5. for my birthday, and that was the start of this | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | | music | dish | film Art s | music know. ‘No,’ I said. ‘They’re for grown-up la- Her latest series, dubbed “The Black Dalia whole adventure,” she explains. “I really had dies.’ ‘Can I give one to Miss Mary at Catholic Club,” takes place in no idea what was out there when it came to school?’ he asked. ‘Oh no!’ I replied. Hon- South Florida. Still, these kind of books. Really, I didn’t. But as a estly, I didn’t know what to say after that. “SINCE THERE it’s likely not the lo- fan of those old ‘bodice rippers’ and Silhou- But he kept asking me. Finally, I pulled out WAS NO cale but rather the ette Romances from the ’70s and ’80s — those What’s a chapter about cave-diving from one of the NAUGHTY hanky-panky that same ones with Fabio on the covers — I was books I’d written, one that had no explicit transpires between amazed at what was available. Some of it was material, and I let him read it. He seemed BOOKS 101 the main characters really out there! After I downloaded some satisfied with that and never asked again.” COURSES — in this case, two of the hotter stories, I was hooked — I loved all the That’s a relief. Michaels’ books are decid- OFFERED AT cops, two attorneys, them! I decided that if I could do legal writing edly inappropriate for the younger set or, BROWARD and four women — for all those years, then I could also write sexy for that matter, anyone prone to blush at COLLEGE, I HAD that makes these stories. So I did. Since there was no Naughty twitter passages that describe in intimate detail the TO LEARN THE plots so steamy. Books 101 courses offered at Broward Col- erotic encounters that can result when con- “I was at my hair lege, I had to learn the craft on my own.” senting adults shed their inhibitions... and CRAFT ON MY salon right after my After compiling a list of potential pub-

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW their clothing. A mild excerpt from the book OWN.” first male-on-male lishers, Mitchell took her work to Siren New Times Broward-palm B each New Times Broward-palm about? Penelope’s Gift reads thusly: “She rubbed book came out,” Publishing, a small press house based in against him, desperate to get him inside of Michaels remembers. “I was speaking with Austin, Texas. It agreed to publish her work. follow us at her. With her hands still bound to the chains some of the people there, and the salon owner Now she writes for Siren exclusively. above her head, she had no leverage. She gave me a great compliment. He turned to a Michaels admits that she has visited adult BrowardNTStreet was still at his mercy. She tried to read the friend and said, ‘She gets us. She really gets us!’ clubs for inspiration, but nothing of the sort

XX, 2012 XX, intentions in his very blue eyes, but they were But the best compliment I ever received was that encourages people to experiment with 23, 2016 23, keeping his secrets.” (It gets more explicit.) when my neighbor’s niece came for a visit and other partners. In fact, she says, she prefers

ONTH So far, Michaels has published 30 ebooks read one of my books during her stay. When to stay away from anything that hints at hard- arch under six continuing series. Her work has re- she went home, she told a friend about the core. “Most of these stories are the product ceived a glowing four and half stars on book- books. The friend then proceeded to read 18 of a good imagination,” she insists. “Relation- 17-M XX–M strand.com, where titles are reviewed and of my books in succession and told the niece ships are relationships. Sex is sex, and love is

arch organized based on categories like BDSM, to thank me for writing them. It had helped love. I’m not out to put erroneous information ONTH M

M ménage à trois, and vampires/werewolves. to revitalize her stale 20-year-old marriage. or dangerous information out there. My books Her series that caters to a gay audience, I don’t think my feet touched the ground for lean towards the softer side of the genre.” Michaels notes, has accounted for her best- days after that. Being able to touch someone’s selling volumes thus far. Called “The Wilton life in such a positive way was amazing.” [email protected] 1414 N NOTHING GOOD EVER CAME OUT OF A BUTT 6:,7&+729$3,1*

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▼ Film Winsome, Lose Some BY ALAN SCHERSTUHL

browardpalmbeach.com Sally Field almost triumphs over quirk in Hello, My Name Is Doris. | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | hy is it that little movies a performance. (Field is surrounded by a about being out of step crack cast, including Tyne Daly as Doris’ best so often wind up feeling friend from the neighborhood and Peter Gal- the same? Not long into lagher as a fatuous inspirational speaker.) Michael Showalter’s The best scenes set an emboldened Doris WHello, My Name Is Doris, a comedy about a mis- loose against a jokey burlesque of millennial fit frump pining for a much younger hunk, Brooklyn. The borough comes across here the unlikely target of the heroine’s affec- something like a grubbier, friendlier ver- tions muses to his friends, “She’s weird, but sion of the Los Angeles party scene in Annie she’s a good kind of weird.” Can you name Hall — “I forgot my mantra” is now “I teach an indie comedy of the Sundance era where at a gay preschool in some variation of that line wouldn’t fit? For Park Slope.” The sat- decades, “good kind of weird” has been the WHAT ARE WE ire is warm, and the unspoken thesis of precious, life-affirming SUPPOSED joke becomes that, comic studies of good-hearted muddlers TO GET FROM in superficial ways, maybe starting to get themselves together. WATCHING A Doris and her vintage What’s of interest in Doris isn’t the finery fit right in. story our misfit shuffles through or the les- NAIF LEARN The drama follows, sons she learns; it’s the pleasure of seeing A LESSON sometimes with truth tage | a rt | Film D ish Musi C Sally Field fit herself into that misfithood. WE ALREADY in it: In her 60s, she The script, by Showalter and Laura Ter- KNOW? can be their friend, ruso, offers occasional laughs and insights, their tchotchke, their but the film belongs to Field. The effect mascot, but she probably can’t be their lover. is like watching a beloved singer cover Turns out, young people prefer to hook up something familiar yet unexpected, like with other young people. That this comes that time Dolly Parton and her bluegrass as news to her is just another of the reasons fellas took on Collective Soul’s “Shine.” why this lively, engaging comedy never The material isn’t fresh, but she owns it. comes to full life despite Field’s exuberance. Not that’s Field’s Doris is credible as What are we supposed to get from watch- a character. She’s a fussed-over concoc- ing a naif learn a lesson we already know? tion of too many traits, the kind of cocktail whose base liquor gets lost among the Aaron Epstein [email protected] splashes of quirk. We meet Doris at her punching down so much as punching side- Field can’t make sense of it all. mother’s funeral and quickly learn that, be- ways, from one set genre to another: Is the Hello, My Name Is Doris | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | neath vintage-librarian sweater ensembles impassioned monogamy of romance novels when her brother (Stephen Root) and a bi- Starring Sally Field, Max Greenfield, Beth Behrs,

as color-streaked as head-shop posters, any more false than the uplifting human- zarrely unethical therapist (Elizabeth Reaser) Wendi McLendon-Covey, Stephen Root, Elizabeth New Times Broward-palm B each Reaser, Isabella Acres, Natasha Lyonne, Tyne Daly, she’s a shy Staten Island hoarder/cat lady/ ism of crowd-pleasing indie comedy? turn up at her overstuffed home to make her and Peter Gallagher. Directed by Michael Showalter. romance-novel addict. She toils in accounting Field can’t make it all make sense, but she throw away some junk. Field commits to Written by Michael Showalter and Laura Terruso. at a hip fashion company in the city, where does make it diverting, even pleasurable. each moment and wills many into excellence, Based on a short film by Laura Terruso. 95 minutes. she shies away in her cubicle and enthuses Doris’ mouth hangs slack and wide as she even if they don’t always seem to go together Rated R. Opens Friday, March 18, at Cinema Paradiso - Lauderdale (503 SE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale; 954- about office supplies. (She loves Staples.) comes out of her second heated reverie, and in the same movie. Her goofball pogoing to 525-3456; fliff.com), Classic Gateway Theatre (1820 Her coworkers and the film itself fail to she’s frozen in place until, with a screwball her crush’s favorite band is as potent as her E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale; 954-763-7994; notice that her fashion is spectacular, that flourish, she recovers and jaunts stiffly away, quiet, drunken shame when a party lets her thegatewaytheatre.com), Living Room Theaters, FAU Main Campus (777 Glades Road, Boca Raton; her look is brash rather than mousy, that dignified even in embarrassment. It’s hilari- get close to him for real. Often I laughed or 561-549-2600; fau.livingroomtheaters.com), and actual New Yorkers would be eager to get to ous, though such go-for-broke comedy later winced right on cue, but not even for a breath Movies of Delray (7421 W. Atlantic Ave., Delray know her. Instead, the movie settles in for makes it hard to believe Doris’ breakdown did I think of Doris as a person rather than Beach; 561-638-0020; moviesofdelray.com). awkward comedy about Doris crushing on gentle lug John (Max Greenfield), the new art director for the company catalog — and ▼ ARTHAUS

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW Showalter seems to expect us to be surprised an ending like that? Rabin had managed what moment when the possible futures changed. when it turns out that the new people Doris no other Israeli politician could: showing formal The film, neither documentary nor fiction, meets actually find much about her to adore. Rabin: The Last Day recognition of Palestine and receiving recogni- suffers from an excess — or perhaps a narrow- Before that, though, Doris insists its STARRING YITZHAK HIZKIYA, PINI MITTELMAN, AND tion of Israel’s statehood from Yasser Arafat, ness — of empathy. Reenactments of Amir’s M

heroine is a dope. She swoons and stammers MICHAEL WARSHAVIAK. DIRECTED BY AMOS GITAI. head of the Palestinian National Authority, with interrogation are bookended by footage of the arch upon first meeting John in the elevator, and WRITTEN BY AMOS GITAI AND MARIE-JOSE SANSELME. whom Rabin had signed the Oslo Accords. Israeli army forcing Jewish settlers from their 17-M XX, 2012 XX, I’m sorry to report that Showalter stages 153 MINUTES. NOT RATED. OPENS FRIDAY, MARCH 18, AT The two men were going to make peace. homes on Palestinian land. We watch in slow several parodic fantasy clinches meant to CINEMA PARADISO - HOLLYWOOD (2008 HOLLYWOOD In Amos Gitai’s new film Rabin: The Last motion as the men, twinned in their physicali- ONTH suggest the inner life of a Harlequin reader. arch BLVD., HOLLYWOOD; 954-525-3456; FLIFF.COM). Day, the slain prime minister barely appears; ties, fall to the earth. It’s hard to tell if this is news Hundreds of thousands of American women

n 1995, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin instead, Rabin is made tangible by his absence. footage or facsimile, but the pulsing crowd 23, 2016 devour romance novels, and it’s glibly in- XX–M sulting to insist that they must believe them was shot after attending a public rally. We can never know what might have hap- has the righteous flavor of a civil-rights riot. — that dear Doris would stand stupefied Rushed to the hospital, he died hours later. pened in some alternate universe in which And that’s the problem. By glamorizing ONTH IHis assassin, Israeli ultranationalist Yigal Amir, Rabin survived, and Gitai is more interested struggle and ideology across the Israeli-Jewish M before a handsome man, briefly convinced he’s taking his shirt off and professing his is in prison for life, having achieved his goal: in what’s unknown about the assassination political spectrum, it once more invites empa- love. Has she never bumped into a looker Without Rabin, the tentative Palestinian-Israeli because of omission. Using interviews, archival thy for only half of those locked in the conflict on the streets of New York? The joke isn’t peace process collapsed. Where’s the story in footage, and reenactments, Gitai evokes the Rabin was trying to solve. DIANA CLARKE 16 15 browardpalmbeach.com

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▼ Dish Almost There With a few tweaks, Juniper on the Water could be the dining spot Hallandale needs. BY NICOLE DANNA | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | ame a waterfront restaurant in | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | South Florida where you don’t have to fight to get in — or be heard. It’s a rare thing indeed these days, especially at the Nheight of season. Don’t worry; if you can’t think of any, here is one for you: Juniper on the Water in Hallandale Beach. Situated between Miami-Dade County’s Aventura and Broward County’s Fort Lauderdale, for many years, Hallandale Beach has been a place of subpar dining options, with the exception of Gulfstream Park. The beachside section of town, especially its miles’ worth of waterside views, was devoid of any real culinary draw. Recently, that’s been changing thanks to several newish establishments, among them tage | a rt | Film dish m usi C Juniper on the Water, aptly named for a lofty, perch-like location offering an elevated view of the Intracoastal Waterway — much like the Juniper trees that grow among the mountain- ous regions of the Himalayas — from an auxil- iary building flanked by the towering columns of the Hemispheres condominium buildings. Three years ago, brothers and founders Scott and Chris Swaris were industry veterans looking for a space to launch their Photo by CandaceWest.com own establishment. A New York native, Scott An open dining room marries a 15-seat, ranean dipping platter with hummus and Braised lamb shank came from a fine-dining background that copper-topped bar at the front with booth smoked eggplant, and a flatbread. The most began in the kitchen at Nobu, later bringing and table seating along floor-to-ceiling win- successful dishes are seafood-based, and green peas, and bell peppers. The seafood him south to open the restaurant’s Shore dows, which offer a direct view of the Hemi- that includes steamed middleneck clams — including clams, mussels, shrimp, and Club location in Miami Beach. As time sphere’s pool and patio to the east. Outside, bathed in a sweet onion crema reduction two fillets’ worth of seared branzino — is went on, he moved to the front of the house the wide covered terrace allows for alfresco instead of the usual white wine simmer. smothered in a rich lobster reduction and ac- New Times Broward-palm B each and today stands as Juniper’s manager. dining no matter what the weather, provid- The bowl is accented with a vibrant pars- cented with saffron, bay leaves, and tarragon. NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH Chris, Juniper’s chef and the creator of ing uninterrupted views in both directions. ley — not basil — pesto, which provides But it’s the couscous that gives this main much of today’s menu, was cooking at Man- The only problem about the location is, a ribbon of color across a heap of shells plate its elemental magic, toasted pearls of hattan’s Cub Room, an elegant 1990s SoHo in fact, the location. submerged in the creamy, opaque liquid. semolina that soak up the juice and lend a hot spot that closed before he too relocated to Finding Juniper on Likewise, fried calamari — yet another nutty note when compared to the starchy, Miami. For years, both brothers worked their “IT WAS the first run is a chal- safe go-to — fries up light and crunchy gummy rice this dish is known for. way around the city, hopping from this place EXACTLY lenge come nightfall. thanks to a cornmeal-crusted batter blended “There are so many great spots on to that before deciding maybe it would be bet- THE TYPE OF And because it is part with flour and a touch of cornstarch, the the water in South Florida, but the food ter if they just worked for themselves. They of the Hemispheres, right balance of texture and flavor against is always mediocre,” says Scott. “We found the spot one day when their mother LOCATION you’ll also need to gummy rings of calamari. Deniz serves it want to be an exception to that rule.” noticed that the building located across the WE WERE pass go at the condo’s beneath a bright tomato and poblano pep- But if Juniper wants to be Hallandale’s water from her — the space that once housed LOOKING guest access gate per pico de gallo and a tart lemon aioli dip- go-to dining destination, it’ll need to do more Joseph’s on the Water — was for rent. FOR.” before you can pull ping sauce, both helping to pull this basic than hook locals on solid seafood entrées and “It was exactly the type of location we were around to the va- dish back from the brink of mediocrity. water views. And thanks to its remote loca- looking for, on the water but still close to both let at the back of the property, your The main plates, split between land and tion and unremarkable menu, baiting diners Aventura and Fort Lauderdale,” says Scott. only parking option for dining here. sea, highlight well-executed dishes like whole- back for a second visit will require more Several months into the project, the fra- While the name “Juniper” could sug- roasted branzino, pan-roasted salmon, or a than a really good seafood paella. But all it ternal duo brought on partner and director gest a gin cocktail bar, instead you’ll find a blackened mahi. A braised lamb shank and needs is a little nudge and Juniper might just M M ONTH

of operations Sho Marks, another New York wine-focused one, rarer picks or highlights whole roasted chicken will make meat eat- be the type of place to have you grumbling arch

transplant who met Scott and Chris while scrawled on a chalkboard menu. The spicy ers happy. There’s even a burger served with about the wait for your table in no time. XX–M

working at Mercadito in New York’s Alpha- berry isn’t used on the menu either, which truffled fries, to please the simpler crowd. 17-M bet City. Together, the trio has transformed blandly echoes that of every other South But Juniper’s single best dish is its paella, [email protected] ONTH the once dark and dismal space just off South Florida seafood restaurant on the water. a bounty of fresh fish layered atop a bed of arch Ocean Drive from a dreary Old Florida fix- If you had to categorize Juniper as any toasted Israeli couscous, Deniz’s own per- Juniper on the Water XX, 2008 ture to a bright and cheery Cape Cod design. specific focus, you’d say it was modern sonal touch. If you order it, the pan delivered 1975 S. Ocean Drive, Hallandale Beach. Hours are 23, 2016 After a nine-month renovation, diners who American, offerings presented by executive to your table is uniquely complex, its contents Monday through Thursday 4 to 10 p.m., Friday and knew Joseph’s formerly pallid space can now chef Sezer Deniz, an Istanbul native who still bubbling and crackling from the heat. Saturday 4 to 11 p.m., and Sunday 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Call 954-544-3370, or visit juniperonthewater.com. appreciate the beauty of the building’s natural lends a touch of Mediterranean influence to When the server places it in front of you, architecture, from its high, curved-beam ceil- a somewhat boring list of starters and mains. he’ll do so with a warning of its heat, and Steamed middleneck clams $11 ing and massive windows to the stately coral It opens with appetizers you’ll likely find when the steam clears, you’ll find a heap- Fried calamari $12 rock pillars and a white-washed interior. familiar: a caesar or burrata salad, a Mediter- ing pile of food studded with bits of chorizo, Seafood paella $32 1717 browardpalmbeach.com browardpalmbeach.com

Photo by Doug Fairall | SMALL PLATES | Big Sound, big flavors.

▼ Dish champion in the 2016 Winter United States Beer Tasting Championships in the Scottish Ale category. Marshal Zhukov also placed ▼ FLORIDA BEER NIGHT+DAY | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | | CONTENTS | PULP | NEWS NIGHT+DAY as grand champion in the same competition but in the imperial stout category, making BIG SOUND SCOTCH CCB the only brewery to take home two national medals in the competition this year. ALE FROM CIGAR CITY It pours a deep inky brown that goes from superdark in the core to fringes of purple BREWING and garnet. Aromas are subdued when cool This week, we’re taking a look at a sea- but get brought out more as it warms, bring- sonal release from one of Florida’s best- ing forth aromas of dark caramel and dark- known brewers, Cigar City Brewing, by brown sugar. Flavors move among earth, checking out its Big Sound Scotch Ale. sweet, molasses, chocolate, and brightly Here is a beer whose flavors could fill sweet dark fudge and fold together with a room, which is why it’s not surprising a slight bitterness to see this 22-ounce bomber of Scotch ale at the end hinting adorned with a punk-styled bagpipe. The AROMAS ARE toward a wood-like name is fairly tame as well; many beers SUBDUED tannin. There is a of this type have increasingly intense heft to the mouthfeel, FILM | ART | STAGE | | STAGE | ART | MUSIC DISH FILM | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | WHEN COOL Scots-forward monikers like Under the unsurprising from Kilt, Dirty Bastard, or Skull Splitter. BUT GET Cigar City’s beers, Cigar City’s version of the Scotch ale is BROUGHT OUT which lends it a feel- big in alcohol at 9.9 percent by volume. MORE AS THE ing of presence. “It’s a traditional interpretation of a ALE WARMS. Available in strong Scotch ale,” Cigar City brewmas- 22-ounce bottles ter Wayne Wambles tells me. “It’s one of at most big beer retailers, the Big Sound the busiest grists that we employ in our Scotch Ale is a late-winter release that will seasonal portfolio, but there is no smoked soon disappear from shelves. Get it now, malt or peated malt. Traditional Scotch drink it now, or even cellar some away for ales do not contain smoked malt. next winter. With a high alcohol percent- “I first designed the recipe in the late age, the potential for bottle aging is ripe. ’90s, when I was working for Buckhead Cigar City Brewing is located at 3924 Brewery & Grill in Tallahassee, Florida. W. Spruce St., Tampa. Call 813-348- Back then, it had a small amount of smoked 6363, or visit cigarcitybrewing.com. NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH BROWARD-PALM TIMES NEW

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM malt in it. The old Brewer’s Association Every week, we take a look at a craft beer guidelines had not divided the Scotch ale brewed in Florida. Follow #FloridaBeerFriday category into two specific branches at for more reviews of Sunshine State brews. SATISFY this point, so all the entries went into one Get out there and #DrinkLocal. DOUG FAIRALL category. Now, there are two categories. YOUR CRAVINGS One is for smoked Scotch ale, and the ▼ FROM THE BAKERY

XX, 2012 XX, other is traditional, which contains no 23, 2016 23, smoke. Subsequent brews were produced TRY NANI’S ONTH

ARCH without the smoked malt and became Big Sound Scotch Ale as we know it today.” DOUGHNNABONS

17-M Back in the day, it won the gold medal at Here in South Florida, only a handful of XX–M NEWS . MUSIC . FOOD . FILM . ART . CULTURE . EVENTS the 2000 Great American Beer Festival in places are making doughnuts worthy of be-

ARCH the Strong Scotch Ale category and also took ing called “artisan,” but recently, a newcomer ONTH M

M home the silver medal that same year at the has made its way into the craft-doughnut World Beer Cup in the Strong Ale category. scene. And although this doughnut op- N Indeed, this beer is continuing to win eration is still small-scale, it’s already WWW.BROWARDPALMBEACH.COM medals, having recently placed as grand tasting like it’s destined for big things. 18 18 browardpalmbeach.com By day, Delray Beach resident Nani browardpalmbeach.com Edry shapes surfboards. But early every morning, before most of us are even awake, Discover you can find him making doughnuts. Edry is the one-man show behind Nani’s Dough, a Delray Beach-based doughnut delivery service he launched in September. Deals “I have always had a real passion for cooking. It’s something I love and that I’m good at,” says Edry. “But I was never much of a doughnut eater until I met my girl- | CONTENTS | PULP | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | DISH | MUSIC | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | on the friend. There aren’t many options for artisan | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | doughnuts around where we live. It’s Krispy Kreme and Dunkin’ Donuts, and that’s it. So I decided to do something about it.” Go! To remedy the situation, Edry set himself on the task of making his girl- friend the “best doughnut she’d ever tasted.” They were so good, he decided to make more. Soon, he was selling them Save 50-90% on your en masse to ravenous Instagram fans. Edry is a self-described doughnut favorite things to do, expert. Around 3 a.m., he’ll wake up to see, eat, and buy make the doughnuts at his Palm Beach while you’re County-based commissary kitchen. It around town! begins with a special pastry dough he says took months to perfect, more than three months of trial-and-error bak- ing — and more than 60 recipes. Today, the self-taught baker says he’s calibrated his dough to the perfect ratio of tage | a rt | Film dish m usi C yeast, flour, water, and sugar for the South Florida heat and humidity. A combination of several types of flour, it’s made in small batches, mixed and cut by hand. It’s also one of the most flavorful, light doughnuts you’ll have the pleasure of stuffing in your piehole. “I really invested a lot of time in making the dough taste a certain way, taste-testing along the way without toppings,” says Edry. “I really took a calculated approach to the recipe and handcraft each doughnut for a perfect doughnut every time. They’re kinda like the Rolls-Royce of doughnuts.” By 6 a.m., hundreds of supersized, 4.5-inch-wide doughnuts have been cut, NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH

fried, glazed, and decorated. From there, New Times Broward-palm B each Edry packs them by the dozen in pink boxes for delivery from Boynton Beach to Boca Raton. Customers can place orders online • Shop by category through the Nani’s Dough website, which • Find nearby deals launched earlier this month. You can also find photos of his doughnuts on Instagram. • Share with friends The current roster of flavors includes white chocolate mocha, s’mores, cinnamon and sugar, plain glazed, pomegranate and white chocolate, mocha, green Moroc- can mint tea, cactus pear, avocado mousse with chocolate ganache, and dulce de leche topped with crushed pretzel. Nani’s Dough Download our will also rotate exotic and seasonal flavors. Doughnuts are priced $2.50 to $4 each. iPhone App There’s also Edry’s own creation, the “doughnnabon,” thin layers of his pas- M ONTH now try dough slathered with butter, cinna- M arch

Use your phone to scan the QR code or mon, and sugar for a deep-fried, hybrid XX–M

Search “VOICE Daily Deals” in the doughnut-cinnamon bun combination. 17-M App Store and start saving today. It’s sinfully delicious and makes us won- ONTH

der why we haven’t seen one sooner. arch Moving forward, Edry is looking for XX, 2008 a space to open a retail shop. Until then, 23, 2016 you can find his doughnuts at Subcul- ture Coffee (123 E. Atlantic Ave., Delray Beach) or order a box of Nani’s Dough at nanisdough.com. NICOLE DANNA

20 browardpalmbeach.com browardpalmbeach.com

▼ Music Falling Down the Hole The best underground parties during Miami Music

Week 2016. BY JOSE D. DURAN | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | | CONTENTS | PULP | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | DISH | MUSIC | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | f all you do during Miami Music Week wood.com. Tickets cost $35 to $50 plus fees is chase marquee names from party via residentadvisor.net. These days, there’s to party, you’re doing it wrong. nothing “underground” about Jamie Jones, At its core, this week has always been but the Hot Creations boss is still deliver- about discovering new acts and sounds. ing some of the most interesting records out IThe days of Daft Punk spinning at local clubs there. His recent EP, This Way!, was a total and poolside are certainly over (yes, that hap- throwback, and it’s reason enough to still pened in the early ’00s), but there’s always a pay respect. Paradise Miami returns to Mana chance you’ll witness the nascent career of the with an amazing lineup outside of a certain next great electronic music superstar. MMW is music festival that rhymes with “Shmultra.” also an opportunity to see established acts live Andhim’s Superfriends. With Andhim, Kölsch, in the States instead of on a Boiler Room video. H.O.S.H., Roman Flügel, and Super Flu. 10 p.m. So ditch the Dutch DJs and Ameri- Thursday, March 17, at Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Courtesy of Andhim can EDM acts for the week — they’ll be Miami; 305-674-4478; treehousemiami.com. never heard of Benoit & Sergio. The French/ Andhim will be swinging into Treehouse at Ultra anyway — and venture out to the Tickets cost $35 plus fees via wantickets.com. DC American duo isn’t content with simply rely- Miami on Thursday. best underground and alternative dance Comics has the Justice League to defend the ing on beats; they incorporate song narrative music events happening around Miami. universe, while dance and hooks to create tracks that teeter into pop Miami Music Week, bills are so packed it Do Not Sit by the Ocean. With Atish, Bedouin, music has the Su- territory. Also on the bill is Black Madonna, the almost seems like each act has only about 30 tage | a rt | Film D ish Music Behrouz, Gab Rome, Lee Burridge, M.A.N.D.Y., AT ITS CORE, perfriends to defend creative director of Chicago’s Smart Bar who’s minutes of play time. Nicole Moudaber will Alex Niggemann, and others. Noon Thursday, THIS WEEK everyone’s ears from quickly rising thanks to her old-school ethos change that when she takes over Trade with March 17, at the Deck at Island Gardens, 888 HAS ALWAYS bad sets. Leave it to of reading the room and not planning her sets. her party, Mood Night. She’ll spin all night MacArthur Causeway, Miami. Tickets cost $40 German duo Andhim Get Lost Miami. With Damian Lazarus, Heidi, long. Marathon DJ sets can be the stuff of to $50 via residentadvisor.net. Miami’s favorite BEEN ABOUT to assemble a lineup Horse Meat Disco, Tiga, Thugfucker, Ellen Al- legends, and Moudaber is more than capable. miniclub, Do Not Sit on the Furniture, is tak- DISCOVERING whose superpowers lien, Felix da Housecat, Skream, and others. Def Mix Presents Our House. With David ing the party outside for the second year in a NEW ACTS include creating the Time and venue TBA. Saturday, March 19. Tick- Morales, Quentin Harris, Hector Romero, and row. However, instead of offering a poolside AND SOUNDS. tongue-in-cheek sub- ets cost $55 to $88 plus fees via residentadvisor. Sean Cormac & Chili Davis. 10 p.m. Sunday, locale, it has moved to the marina on Watson genre “super house.” net. If you attended Miami Music Week and March 20, at Yuca, 501 Lincoln Road, Miami Island. And if you’re looking to recuperate Their list of superfriends includes Danish didn’t go to Get Lost, did you even go to Miami Beach; 305-532-9822; yuca.com. Tickets cost — it’s only Thursday, by the way — sound heal- techno act Kölsch and electronic music pio- Music Week at all? This marathon of a party $15 via eventbrite.com. David Morales was ing and yoga will be offered. Then acts such neer Roman Flügel. Superfriends, assemble! is what happens when you bring together spinning house music when it was still in as Atish and Bedouin will lead everyone in a Benoit & Sergio. With the Black Madonna and Crosstown Rebels with Miami’s III Points. its infancy and became a regular at places sunset party that commands its namesake. Visuals. 10 p.m. Friday, March 18, at Bardot, 3456 Mood Night. With Nicole Moudaber. 10 such as Paradise Garage and Ministry of Paradise Miami. With Jamie Jones, the N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-576-5570; bardot- p.m. Saturday, March 19, at Trade, 1439 Wash- Sound. If you’re tired of hyphen house sub- Martinez Brothers, Steve Lawler, Lee Foss, miami.com. Tickets cost $12 to $20 plus fees via ington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-6666; genres, catch Def Mix, who’ll deliver dance New Times Broward-palm B each Bob Moses, Matthew Dear, and others. 10 p.m. showclix.com. One of electronic dance music’s trademia.com. Tickets cost $15 to $30 via resi- music in its pure, unadulterated form. NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH Thursday, March 17, at Mana Wynwood, 318 most common complaints is that it “doesn’t dentadvisor.net. There was a time when hav- NW 23rd St., Miami; 305-573-0371; manawyn- go anywhere.” Clearly, those people have ing one DJ on the bill was enough. But during [email protected]

That fact has become abundantly clear this make a decision, and I think, unfortunately for Miami New Times. “We wanted to share this Ultra Dominant year, as the two giants have scheduled their the conference, people are going to side where experience on a global scale and give dance As WMC moves to its events one week after the other, forcing artists, the talent sits. People will gravitate around music a place in history that I feel it deserves.” fans, promoters, label executives, and industry the big-name DJs, and the big-name DJs will Though an underground movement in the own week, its younger insiders to pick sides. The sold-out Ultra will be paid to perform at Ultra. They’re not being States, dance music flourished throughout EDM offspring now reigns welcome 50,000 partiers a day at Bayfront paid to go to a conference the week later.” Europe and South America. South Florida’s supreme. BY KAT BEIN Park from Friday to Sunday, March 18 to 20. It’s even more confusing for industry temperate climate and multicultural influ- atriphagy; noun: A condition in Winter Music Conference hasn’t released outsiders, those fans to whom Winter Music ence made it the perfect home for a so-called which the young cannibalize their attendance records since the split in 2011 Conference, Ultra Music Festival, and Miami Winter Music Conference. WMC grew steadily, creator to survive. It’s a practice and was unable to return an official com- Music Week might as well be interchange- moved base to Miami, and thanks to a few M ONTH

Mcommon among crab spiders, whose moth- ment by presstime, but in size and scope, it’s able names or simultaneously moving parts. one-ticket, all-inclusive, daytime pool parties, M

ers sacrifice themselves in order to trigger nowhere near the powerhouse of Ultra. Of course, these parts are not the same, it quickly gained a must-attend reputation. arch

the predatory instinct. The younger genera- “To expect anybody to come [to Miami] and to truly understand the recent very real “I’ve been almost every year for the XX–M tion doesn’t kill in bad blood. Overwhelming and stay for more than seven days — people divide, one must first know the history. last 20 years,” Turner says. “We’ve all been 17-M the parent is necessary for growth, the only can’t do that,” says Ben Turner, a U.K.-based It all started in 1985. Crowds in the United very inspired by it, but if I’m really hon- ONTH arch way to fulfill the spiderlings’ full potential. EDM exec who’s played the role of dance- States reeled from disco backlash, but that est, the actual conference element of what XX, 2008 It’s a fair metaphor for the relation- music journalist, magazine editor, artist/ didn’t stop WMC cofounder Billy Kelly and was WMC was never a particularly well- 23, 2016 ship between Winter Music Confer- event manager, and cofounder of the Inter- friends from gathering “a small group of in- attended affair. Most people were poolside ence and Ultra Music Festival. national Music Summit. He’s been attend- dustry professionals” in Fort Lauderdale to enjoying the networking side of things.” Ultra never could have existed without WMC, ing Miami’s March madness since 1996, and exchange records, network, and talk shop. The success of WMC pool parties inspired but in recent years, the two have become es- he finds this year’s season problematic. “Our purpose was to express the power many labels and promoters to throw their own tranged. The younger Ultra has overshadowed “It’s really confused everybody,” he says. “I and message of dance music in clubs and on unofficial satellite parties, further fueling the di- its ancestor in size, scope, and relevancy. think people are disappointed. Everyone has to the radio,” Kelly says in a 2015 interview with versionary nature of the week, pushing >> p22 2121 Ultra Dominant from p21 in Las Vegas, anchored around A blast from the past at Ultra’s grand stateside com- panels and product displays to Ultra Music Festival petitor Electric Daisy Carnival, the back of partiers’ minds. The has taken prominence in the founders of Ultra Music Festival way of panel attendance and saw this trend and capitalized. meaningful discussion. Not to In 1999, they erected stages mention the innumerable inter- atop the sands of Miami Beach, national gatherings every year. emulating the popular parties Amsterdam has a conference. browardpalmbeach.com

browardpalmbeach.com of Spain’s island dance mecca. Ibiza has one. Brazil has one. “Ibiza was really becoming “There’s an element of owner- a travel destination for Ameri- ship and entitlement” in every cans in the mass, and it was market, Turner says, whose own becoming more visible with mix IMS, directly inspired by WMC, albums and promotions,” says has played host to conferences Miami-based DJ and publicist in various locations for almost Sean Drake. He had attended two decades. “They almost be- WMC since 1996 and was on the come like festivals. Everybody bill of that first Ultra in 1999. feels they need to have them.” Though nothing of the Of course, there are risks magnitude it is today, Ultra for Ultra as well in having the turned enough heads to return events split. This year, Miami the following year. By year Music Week overlaps with three, it outgrew the beach Austin, Texas’ very popular

ts | N te ts | pulp Co y | N ews and set up shop in downtown multi-industry event South by Miami. In 2007, it expanded Southwest. Some insiders say to two days. Perfectly poised Ultra, MMW, and WMC would for the following EDM explo- Courtesy of Ultra Music Festival be better sticking together. sion, it grew to three days in 2012. Presale “I think Ultra spent more time in R&D, travel- and Ultra branded its own satellite pool par- “Two great events have split in half,” Turner Night+ dA tickets sold out in 20 minutes. Madonna made ing the globe to various markets, seeing how ties under the name “Miami Music Week.” says. “When they were overlapping each other, a guest appearance on the main stage. things are run, where they wanted to take the When the two merged dates again in 2012, it was very valuable on many different levels. It ge |

A Today, UMF operates annual festivals in 13 brand along with investing in growing the team,” the Miami Music Week moniker stayed. It’s feels like there are more and more bands of DJs t countries, blanketing the world in high-pro- Drake says. “WMC never put on an actual fes- grown every year, further confusing fans as to choosing to not attend every now and then.” duction celebrations and arguably leading the tival... With any brand, you have to constantly any difference or official citywide participa- Could WMC again play a premier role dur- industry in lineup diversity and crossover success. invest from the ground up to push it forward.” tion. Now they’ve split once again, and bets are ing MMW? “I think it could be resuscitated with “[Ultra] is in the top five global electronic Without WMC, though, many argue being placed. So far, at least 112 parties have a strong, energized, and organized forward- music festivals,” Turner says. “If you look at what’s that dance music never could have made it been announced March 15 to 20, according to thinking team; the right funding; and finding a come out of Ultra the last few years, there have to this point. “WMC is a staple, and I think the Miami New Times Miami Music Week Party way to rebuild the bridges and partnerships that been headline-grabbing performances, the kind of that it is a giant reason that dance music Guide. Meanwhile, 108 parties are listed on the made it strong many years ago,” Drake says. things you see at award shows. Some of the col- has become legitimate,” says Devan Walsh, Winter Music Conference’s official guide “the It’s not an impossible task, but in a laborations they’ve had and headlines that have an artist manager with the Rubix Manage- list,” populated by independent promoters look- post-internet society, the attention of the come out of it... it’s a huge amount of talent there.” ment Co. in Los Angeles who’s participated ing to get eyes on their parties, and 61 of those masses is not necessarily a renewable re- For millennial ravers drawn to EDM’s neon at the conference the past two years. listed occur after Ultra, on Sunday, March 20. source. If WMC hopes to regain the strong- brightness and sexualized purity, Ultra in the For 12 years, the WMC and Ultra existed Those who have attended recently say WMC hold of its past, it better act quickly. heart of urban Miami is a PLUR rite of passage. separately but harmoniously. The relationship still packs a relevant punch for industry insiders. | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | ART | | | NEWS NIGHT+DAY STAGE | PULP | CONTENTS | dish | film | Art | s | music dish film Art They may not know anything about WMC’s was symbiotic, two massive beasts sharing “These people [who attend the panels] are really Ultra Music Festival 30-year struggle to bring dance music to the a week to move hundreds of thousands to a receptive and really hungry for information,” says With Afrojack, Armin van Buuren, Avicii, Carl spotlight, but they sure as hell know Justin Bieber shared space. Things changed in 2011, when Walsh, who has spoken on panels about the indus- Cox, David Guetta, Dubfire, Eric Prydz, Hardwell, Jamie Jones, Kaskade, and others. Noon Friday, might appear at Ultra to take the stage with WMC decided to precede Ultra by a week. It try’s direction and EDM’s pop crossover potential. March 18, to Sunday, March 20, at Bayfront Park, Skrillex and Diplo and that when Avicii debuts was the first test, and WMC ultimately failed. But WMC faces even more competition than 301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Tickets cost $324.95 to his newest hit, it’s at the Miami main stage. People flocked to parties held the second week, Ultra. The annual EDM Biz Conference and Expo $1,249.95 plus fees via ultramusicfestival.com.

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ONTH Win a Pair of Ticke arch ive! Arts & Culture M rock l M hard Film & TV 22 22 | MUSIC PREVIEWS | browardpalmbeach.com them as much infamy as the poster art for browardpalmbeach.com 1985’s Frankenchrist. Tucked away inside the ▼ Music original record sleeve was a poster of a rather salacious nature (if your pervy eyes want to see it, Google “dead kennedys frankenchrist Rancid poster”; just don’t do it at work… unless you 7 P.M. THURSDAY, MARCH 17, AT REVOLUTION LIVE, work at a sex shop). The offending art brought 100 SW THIRD AVE., FORT LAUDERDALE. TICKETS criminal charges against band members for COST $27 PLUS FEES. VISIT TICKETMASTER.COM. “distribution of harmful matter to minors,” On Thursday, legendary punk revivalists though all charges were eventually dropped. Rancid return to Revolution Live to summon 3. Iggy Pop and the Stooges. Throughout the | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days | bruised memories of moshing and slam- ’70s, the freewheeling Iggy Pop and his Stooges | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | dancing in the ’90s before setting sail on the became known for some kick-ass shows that Salty Dog Cruise with Flogging Molly and often found Pop smearing burger meat or pea- Frank Turner. Despite its name, Rancid has nut butter on his bare chest, working himself never stood out for being foul in any way. If into a frenzy during his stage dives, slicing his it’s known for anything, Rancid is synony- skin with shards of glass, or occasionally expos- mous with fun, infectious pop-punk/ska ing himself to the crowd. Oh, and there were ditties like “Fall Back Down,” “Roots Radi- the stories of the band doing heroin together at cal,” “Time Bomb,” and the smash radio hit a place dubbed the “Fun House,” where, after “Ruby Soho.” Still, if not Tim Armstrong and shooting up, they’d squirt the walls with blood company, who would fall under the category from their syringes. You know, for funsies. of the most “rancid” punk /ska bands? 2. NOFX. Who hasn’t NOFX pissed off? We’re leaving off this list the forefathers The president, LGBT groups, heavy-metal Rachel Tejada of punk, the Sex Pistols, since, with their fans, animal activists, and on and on. Perpetu- Get the Led Out These guys aren’t really all that Rancid. dick-themed name and reputation as one of ally setting the example is founder and front- 8 P.M. FRIDAY, MARCH 18, AT CULTURE ROOM, 3045 the catalysts that began a tradition of pissing man Fat Mike, who over the years is proud of N. FEDERAL HIGHWAY, FORT LAUDERDALE. TICKETS Part of the challenge is that the band tries on traditional values and what’s considered a great many things most of us might not be. COST $25 PLUS FEES. VISIT TICKETMASTER.COM. to replicate as closely as possible live the acceptable or decent in modern rock ’n’ roll, Highlights of his achievements include his al- Andre Lipke, the multi-instrumen- songs from the band’s original recordings. “A they’re sort of a “no duh” pick. Instead, these ter ego, Cokie the Clown, who enjoys blowing talist for Led Zeppelin tribute band lot of time, onstage, I have to reproduce things are the bands that lived up to the “rancid” fake cocaine into people’s faces; the cover of Get the Led Out, first fell in love with Led Zeppelin did with multiple overdubs. tage | a rt | Film D ish Music standard and, in some cases, surpassed it. 1996’s Heavy Petting Zoo, featuring a man fin- Led Zeppelin in a shopping mall. On ‘No Quarter,’ I have to play a Wurlitzer 5. Cherry Poppin’ Daddies. Cherry Poppin’ ger-banging a sheep; and the time in SXSW “I was 12 years old,” he tells New Times from with my left hand and at the same time play Daddies incorporated a heavy dose of ska into 2010 when he urinated into a Patrón bottle his home in Philadelphia. “I was in a Spen- a piano with my right hand. On ‘Rain Song,’ their music and fall into the “rancid” category and served up shots of it to members of the cer’s or a Hot Topic, one of those stores that I have to play cello, Mellotron, and piano.” for all the wrong reasons. They’re a terrible audience. (He later claimed that he switched sells novelty items and naughty joke books. One of the songs Lipke most enjoys playing band with a terrible name: Doesn’t Cherry Pop- bottles and that the drinks were pee-free.) They had the Led Zeppelin poster with the is “Kashmir,” for which he incorporates 25 pin’ Daddies sound a little… rapey? The name 1. T.S.O.L. Anarchists T.S.O.L. shocked the hermit on the mountain hanging up. I thought different sounds mixed together to achieve was taken from a jive phrase that appeared establishment with a different tactic on their it looked so cool that I started listening to the same sound as on the album Physical Graf- on race records aimed at African-Americans 1981 goth-punk classic Dance With Me. “Code them. It was right when I started learning to fiti. He also loves playing “Black Dog” because in the early part of the 20th Century. That be- Blue” is a love song to, of all things, necro- play guitar, so I got a guitar magazine with the on that one, he says, “I get to play guitar.” ing said, once you break down the individual philia. The chorus isn’t subtle about their tabs on how to play ‘Stairway to Heaven.’ ” While Lipke truly loves playing and study- parts, cherry popping, as in taking a young girl’s romance with the dead: “ ’Cause I can do what Lipke went on to get a college degree in mu- ing the legendary Led Zeppelin, “I can un- virginity, and daddy, either literally (eww) or I want/And they won’t complain/I wanna sical composition and released five solo albums derstand why Robert Plant doesn’t need to do as in an older man, that shit just feels wrong. fuck, I wanna fuck the dead.” Better yet is the of classical music mixed with alternative rock, Led Zeppelin again,” he says. “Why do what 4. Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys final verse of the song, which is about as ran- then got a call to join Get the Led Out. “I had he’s done before? He’s doing great things now were around for less than a decade, but for cid as lyrics go: “Never on the rag or say leave done some keyboard work at a studio, and the – why deal with people saying Led Zeppelin NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH many punks, they’re one of the most influ- me alone/They don’t scream, and they don’t guys in Get the Led Out remembered me,” he aren’t doing it as good as they did it in 1973?” New Times Broward-palm B each ential bands in the canon. Not the Pol Pot moan/Don’t even cry if I shoot in their hair/ says. “I wasn’t sure about it at first. I had always That’s what Get the Led Out is for. DAVID ROLLAND protest song “Holiday in Cambodia” nor Lying on the table she smiles and she stares.” played original music. But I did it temporarily the boozy “Too Drunk to Fuck” brought Dr. Frankenstein’s ideal woman. ANGEL MELENDEZ and found I really enjoyed the challenges.” [email protected] M ONTH M XX–M arch 17-M ONTH arch XX, 2008 23, 2016

BUY TICKETS ONLINE AT CLUBVIXENS.COM 3050 BURRIS RD, DAVIE FL 33314 • 954.870.5681 ON 441 SOUTH OF 595, FOLLOW SIGNS TO TRUCK STOP 23 WWW.CLUBVIXENS.COM 23 | MIAMI MUSIC WEEK | $20. MIAMI AFTER DARK: With Firebeatz, Gazzo, Kennedy Jones, Throttle, Swanky Tunes, and special guest Danny Avila featuring Jose Estrada, Prankstisci, and Zav. Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. $20. W Music 1020 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach, 305-532-4006, clevelander.com. Delano Hotel. WILDLIFE MIAMI POOL PARTY: Presented by Disclosure with Boys Noize, Dusky, Heidi, the Black Madonna, and Will Clarke. Club and concert listings are free and rotate in print. Find Thu., March 17, 2-11 p.m. $60-$100. KLINGANDE’S PLAYGROUND more at BrowardPalmBeach.com/music. To list your act, POOL PARTY: With Klingande, Autograf, Michael Calfan, Fabich, email [email protected]. Call club listings Moon Boots, Nico de Andrea, and more. Fri., March 18, 2-11 p.m. editor Melissa Guzman at 305-571-7549. $35-$45. THE BIRDHOUSE: Presented by Claude VonStroke with Danny Daze, Fur Coat, Jesse Rose, Justin Jay, Matthias Tanzmann,

browardpalmbeach.com Albion Hotel. ENORMOUS TUNES POOL PARTY: With EDX, Nora en Soul Clap, Tiga, and Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs (DJ set). Pure, Croatia Squad, Redondo, Antonio Giacca, Spada, and more. Sat., March 19, 2-11 p.m. $55. AXTONE MIAMI POOL PARTY: With Presented by TPC Music. Sat., March 19, 12-11 p.m. $20. UPSCALE acts TBA. Sun., March 20, 2-11 p.m. $55. 1685 Collins Ave., Miami RECORDS POOL PARTY: With Natty Rico, Ron Reeser, Toyboy & Beach, 305-672-2000, delano-hotel.com. Robin, Benny Càmaro, Beauty & the Geek, SIMIOLI, Chunks, Laurie Do Not Sit on the Furniture. OVUM SHOWCASE: With Josh Wink and Goldstein, Knappy, and Jay Salter AKA DJ Jamm. Sun., March 20, friends. Thu., March 17, 10 p.m. $20. DO NOT SIT ON THE FURNITURE 2-11 p.m. $15/$20. 1650 James Ave., Miami Beach, 305-913-1000, SHOWCASE: With Danny Howells, YokoO, Gab Rhome, Surreal rubellhotels.com. Flight, Viktop, and special guests. Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. $20. NIC Bardot. XXYYXX: With Telescope Thieves, Jim-E Stack, and JBZ. Thu., FANCIULLI & FRIENDS: With Agoria. Sat., March 19, 10 p.m. $25. March 17, 10 p.m. $15-$20. BEAT MACHO: With Benoit & Sergio, MMW/WMC 2016 CLOSING PARTY: With Sharam, Anthony Attalla, the Black Madonna, Visuals, Jeremy Eskuche & Nu Sky, and CJ Jeff. Sun., Ismael, and Will Buck. Fri., March 18, GET OUR FREE APP March 20, 10 p.m. $20. 423 16th St., 10 p.m. $12/$15-$20. BENJI B: With SCAN THIS CODE WITH YOUR Miami Beach, 510-550-5067, https:// Virgil Abloh, Jacques Greene, Jun Ill, iPHONE OR ANDROID facebook.com/DoNotSit. and Sebastian Gonzalez. Presented FOR MORE CONCERTS Dream South Beach Hotel. THIS AIN’T OR VISIT: browardpalmbeach.com by More or Less, Tidal Wave, and BRISTOL MEETS PERFECT DRIVER LA- Bardot. Sat., March 19, 10 p.m. $20- BEL SHOWCASE & POOL PARTY: With $25. The Art of the DJ Screening and Intimate WMC Extended Redlight, Sonny Fodera, No Regular Play, Billy Kenny, Maximono, Performance: With Steve Lawler and special guests. Sun., March Sage Armstrong, Mark Starr, Jey Kurmis, Landis Lapace, Matthew 20, 10 p.m. $20-$25. MAJID JORDAN: NA Tour. Presented by Slap Anthony, Golf Clap, Codes, J Paul Getto, Devon James, Ant LaRock, & Tickle. Tue., March 22, 10 p.m. $25. 3456 N. Miami Ave., Miami, Gromo, and Czar. Presented by Rvdiovctive. Thu., March 17, 12-10 305-576-7750, bardotmiami.com. p.m. $5-$10. 1111 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Basement Miami. SETH TROXLER PRESENTS: BIG TITTIE SURPRISE: E11even Miami. MMW: DASH BERLIN: With Nervo, Cash Cash, resident

NIGHT+DAY | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | | PULP CONTENTS | NEWS NIGHT+DAY With Seth Troxler and friends. Presented by Thump. Fri., March 18, DJs AM75 and Zeus, and more. Thu., March 17, 10 p.m. $35-$70. 11 p.m. $30. ELLUM NIGHT: Presented by Maceo Plex, Shall Ocin, MMW: THE CHAINSMOKERS: Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. $70-$105. Gardens of God, and Maars. Presented by Thump. Sat., March 19, ULTRA CARRY-ON EVENT: CHUCKIE + TRITONAL: With resident DJs 11 p.m. $30. CARL COX PRESENTS HIS DISCO, FUNK AND SOUL AM75 and Zeus. Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. $35-$70. ULTRA CARRY-ON EVENT: Presented by Thump. Sun., March 20, 11 p.m. $30. 2901 EVENT: DADA LIFE: With Dirty South, Manufactured Superstars, Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 786-257-4548, basementmiami.com. Anevo plus special guest Jauz, resident DJs AM75 and Zeus, and Bayfront Park. ULTRA MUSIC FESTIVAL 2016: With Afrojack, Armin more. Sat., March 19, 10 p.m. $45.50-$91. ULTRA CARRY-ON van Buuren, Avicii, Caribou, Carl Cox, Chet Faker, David Guetta, EVENT: HARD 2 LEAVE FEATURING CARNAGE: With Marshmello, Destroid, Dubfire, Eric Prydz, Hardwell, Jamie Jones, Kaskade, Knife Ookay, resident DJs AM75 and Zeus, and more. Sun., March 20, Party, Kygo, Loco Dice, Maceo Plex, Marco Carola, Martin Garrix, 10 p.m. $35-$70. SAVI: With resident DJs AM75, Zeus, and more Miike Snow, Nero, Pendulum, the Prodigy, Purity Ring, Rabbit to be announced. Mon., March 21, 10 p.m. 29 NE 11th St., Miami, in the Moon (live), Seth Troxler, DJ Snake, Tiesto, Tycho, Zedd, 305-305-6611, 11miami.com. Alison Wonderland, Duke Dumont, Aly & Fila, andhim, Andrew Electric Pickle. HALLUCIENDA MIAMI: In the el Bolero Room with Rayel, Apollonia, Art Department, Carnage, the Chainsmokers, DJ Three, Cassy, Sublevel (live), and Doc Martin; and downstairs DVBBS, Fakear (live), Fedde Le Grand, Felix Jaehn, Galantis, Guy with Bill Patrick presents Saint Deny and a special guest. Thu., CREW LOVE: DISH | FILM | ART | STAGE | | STAGE DISH | FILM ART Gerber, Hot Since 82, Icona Pop, Jackmaster, JAUZ, Joris Voorn, March 17, 10 p.m. $20-$25. With Wolf + Lamb, Soul Joseph Capriati, KSHMR, Laidback Luke, Lee Foss, Marshmello, the Clap, No Regular Play, and Nick Monaco. Fri., March 18, 5 p.m. )YV^HYKPU Martinez Brothers, Mind Against, Nic Fanciulli, Party Favor, Patrick $30-$40. SOUL CLAP’S HOUSE OF EFUNK: MIAMI EDITION: With Topping, Robin Schulz, Sam Feldt, Slander, Snails, SNBRN, Tchami, Tony Humphries, the Black Madonna, Soul Clap, Overdubs, Till von `V\YWVJRL[ Technasia, Thomas Jack, Thugfucker, Vicetone, W&W, Yellow Sein, Scott Grooves, and more. Sun., March 20, 6 p.m. $20. 2826 | MUSIC Claw, and others. Fri., March 18, noon; Sat., March 19, noon; Sun., N. Miami Ave., Miami, 305-456-5613, electricpicklemiami.com. March 20, noon. $324.95-$1,249.95. 301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, EPIC, A Kimpton Hotel. FUCK CANCER: Presented by Welcome 2 305-358-7550, bayfrontparkmiami.com. Miami and Disco Donnie. Proceeds benefit the Women’s Breast & Biscayne Lady Yacht. LAST NIGHT ON EARTH CRUISE: With Fur Heart Initiative and Fuck Cancer Programs. Thu., March 17, noon. Coat, Sasha, and Henry Saiz. Presented by Magnetic Grooves. $25. 10 YEARS OF JUICY BEACH: With Robbie Rivera, Bob Sinclar, Thu., March 17, 3-9 p.m. $163.50-$179.85. TINI & THE GANG BOAT David Tort, Wally Lopez, the Cube Guys, Sted-E & Hybrid Heights, PARTY: Presented by Magnetic Grooves. Fri., March 18, 3-9 p.m. and NXNY. Fri., March 18, noon. $20. RELEASE MIAMI POOL PARTY: $100/$125. COSMIC GATE & FRIENDS SUNSET CRUISE: With Mark With Deniz Koyu, Dubvision, Michael Brun, Norman Doray, and a Sixma and Roberto Gonzalez. Presented by Magnetic Grooves. special guest. Sat., March 19, noon. $15-$30. SALTED GETS DEEP: Sat., March 19, 3-9 p.m. $125-$150. 270 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, With Lisa Shaw, Miguel Migs, Danny Krivit, Marques Wyatt, Fred 305-379-5119, islandqueencruises.com. Everything, Julius Papp, and Del. Sun., March 20, 12-11 p.m. $20. The Bunker at 1826. VIVA MIAMI: With Plastik Funk, David Tort, 270 Biscayne Blvd. Way, Miami, 866-215-6641, epichotel.com. George Acosta, Wolfpack, Richard Grey, and more. Sat., March FDR Lounge at the Delano. BIG BEAT MIAMI 2016: With Cash Cash, 19, 9 p.m. $30. TASTY TUESDAYS: SOUTH BEACH EDITION: With CID, Tomboy & Robin, With You, Mstr Rogers, and a surprise special Serafin, Trentino, Buck Rodgers, Vice City Beats (Kid Nemesis and guest. Sat., March 19, 11 p.m. $25. 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, R Silva), Smooth Styline, Ruen, Mister Gray, Zannon, JB, David 305-674-5752, delano-hotel.com. Steven, B Side, Sir William, Blaze, Trill Zilla, Blondie, Christopher Fifty at the Viceroy Hotel. CHICKEN & BEER: The seventh-annual T, and Jayvgold. Tue., March 22, 9 p.m. $20. 1826 Collins Ave., Chicken & Beer will include music from Jillionaire, Bunji Garlin, Miami Beach, 305-763-8860. Walshy Fire, TWRK, Craze, Ape Drums, ETC! ETC!, Silent Addy, Reid BARONG FAMILY LABEL NIGHT:

NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM Cameo. With Yellow Claw, Cesqeaux, Waters, Kickraux, Love Taps, and Feel Up Sound System. Presented Nghtmre, Moksi, Lny tnz, Dirtcaps, and special guests. Thu., March by Corona Electric Beach, Feel Up Records, and Dancing Astronaut. 17, 10 p.m. $25. HARD MIAMI: With Boys Noize, Jauz, What So Not, Admission is free with RSVP via feeluprecords.com. Thu., March 17, Destructo, Wax Motif, Rezz, Drezo, and Wuki in room one; Night 2-8 p.m. free. THE NERVOUS POOL PARTY: 25 YEAR ANNIVERSARY Bass, Justin Martin, Shiba San, AC Slater, Chris Lorenzo, Redlight, BASH: With Boris, Carl Craig, DJ Sneak, Josh Wink, Oscar G, Roger The Broward-Palm Beach New Times App keeps Landis LaPace, and Bones in room two; and special guests 2 Live Sanchez, Stacey Pullen, Louie Vega, Ace Alvarez, Miss Jennifer, you connected with things to do, places to go, Crew. Presented by Poplife. Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. $40-$50. FOOL’S Taimur Agha, DJ Roland, Berny Burnz, Stryke, and Viviana Toscanini. and up-to-the-minute news. GOLD SHOWCASE MIAMI: With Tommy Trash, Gladiator, Brenmar, Fri., March 18, 1 p.m. $25-$40. ELECTRIC SPLASH ROOFTOP POOL 23, 2016 23, Madeaux, Krne, Madeintyo, Ape Drums, Nick Catchdubs, Kittens, PARTY: With Abel Ramos, Arno Cost, Bottai, Corey James, Crusy, and more. Presented by Fool’s Gold and Poplife. Sat., March 19, Daddys Groove, Defiev, Eddie Thoneick, Fraanklyn, Genairo Nvilla, ARCH 0[»ZMYLL+V^USVHKP[[VKH` 10 p.m. $25. 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 305-532-2667, Mednas, Nari & Milani, Norman Doray, Promiseland, Regilio, Rob cameomiami.com. & Jack, Sebjak, Simon De Jano, and Tom Tyger. Sat., March 19, The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club. WMC OFFICIAL POOL PARTY KICK- noon. $19-$324. FIREBEATZ & DUBVISION: Sat., March 19, 11 p.m. 17-M OFF: With Val Verra, DJ Doza, Reza, Chris Robert, Frank Nitty, and $20. 485 Brickell Ave., Miami, 305-503-4417, viceroymiami.com. Tony Puccio. Presented by Soul City LA. Sat., March 19, noon. $10. The Gale Hotel. SMIRNOFF SOUND COLLECTIVE MIAMI: DEADBEATS: ARCH 1732 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-674-1160, catalinahotel.com. With Zeds Dead, Destructo, Virgil Abloh, Hunter Siegel, Oneman M The Clevelander Hotel. MIAMI AFTER DARK: With 3LAU, Caked vs. My Nu Leng, and others. RSVP required via smirnoffsoundcol- Scan this code to download, or Up, Jonas Blue, Lost Kings, Miami Vice, Prince Fox, Shaun Frank, lectivemiami.com. Thu., March 17, 2-7 p.m. SMIRNOFF SOUND search for “Broward-Palm Beach Speaker of the House, Vicetone, and special guest Thomas Gold COLLECTIVE MIAMI: HYPERHOUSE: With Anna Lunoe, Ducky, Boys New Times” in the app stores. featuring Damaged Goods and Venice. Thu., March 17, 9 p.m. Noize b2b Totally Enormous Distinct Dinosaurs (DJ set), Sleepy 24 Tom, What So Not, and others. RSVP required via smirnoffsound- & Ceballos, Supernova, Patrick M, and el Chino Dreadlion. browardpalmbeach.com browardpalmbeach.com collectivemiami.com. Fri., March 18, 2-7 p.m. SMIRNOFF SOUND Presented by Stereo Productions and Vested. Thu., March 17, 7 COLLECTIVE MIAMI: DISCWOMAN: With Tokimonsta, Honey Dijon, p.m.-midnight. $75.08. 401 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 212-724-3900, Club Laura Jones, Umfang, Uchi, Goodroid, and others. RSVP required musetteyacht.com. HEDONISM via smirnoffsoundcollectivemiami.com. Sat., March 19, 2-7 p.m. The National Hotel South Beach. MIXMASH POOL PARTY: Thu., 1690 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-673-0199, galehotel.com. March 17, 12-10 p.m. $35.70-$1,605. PLAYLIST MIAMI: With Audien, AN ELEGANT, PRIVATE, INTIMATE SWINGERS CLUB The Hangar. INFAMOUS MIAMI: With Datsik and special guests. Destructo, Ephwurd, Ghastly, Hellberg, Muglife, Nghtmre, Paris FOR COUPLE’S AND SOPHISTICATED SINGLES Presented by Firepower Records in association with Embrace Blohm, Pierce Fulton, Tritonal, Vicetone, Attlas, special guests, and Culture. Thu., March 17, 10 p.m. $20-$25. FUTURE SOUND and top-secret back-to-back sets all day. Presented by Proximity COUPLES, ADD EXCITEMENT OF BREAKS’ 14TH ANNIVERSARY BLOCKBUSTER: With Stanton vs. Electronow. Fri., March 18, 12-10 p.m. $25-$2,800.MIAMI MUSIC Warriors vs. DJ Icey, DJs Craze, David Christophere aka T. Confucius, WEEK DAY PARTY: Sat., March 19, 12-10 p.m. $20-$2,800. THE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Of Rabbit in the Moon, Araabmuzik live featuring Dvnk Sinatrv, BUYGORE POOL PARTY: With Borgore, GTA, Dr. Fresch, Jaykode, Married, Single, or Dating?? Guaranteed to Spice Up Your Love Life!!! Loadstar, KJ Sawka of Pendulum & Destroid with an exclusive Nightowls, Party Thieves, Spag Heddy, Styless & Complete, B-Sides, Watch Participate or Just Fantasize | Contents | pulp news | n ight+Days |

Octopad DJ set, Wuki, Christian Martin vs. Worthy, AK1200, Legion, Fawks, and Londonbridge. Presented by Jägermeister. Sun., March Private Play Areas • Bottle Club (BYOB) • Live DJ | MUSIC | DISH | FILM | NIGHT+DAYSTAGEART | | | NEWS | PULP | CONTENTS | Marten Horger vs. Mafia Kiss, KMFX aka Keith Mackenzie vs. Fixx, 20, noon. $25-$35. KINGS OF HOUSE NYC: With David Morales, Louie Merlyn, Supernaut, Jimi the Genius, Security, Shade vs. Soltek, and Vega, and Tony Humphries. Mon., March 21, 12-10 p.m. $20/$30. KINKY HOT FRIDAY SATURDAY Proxxy vs. Lantern, with visuals by VJ Psyberpixie. Hosted by MCs 1677 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, 866-215-6641, nationalhotel.com. WEDNESDAY Gangbang Nympho Nite! Sinfully SeXXXy Nite Singles & Couples. Jumanji, Disidente, P. Felony aka Knoxz, and surprise guests. Fri., Nautilus Hotel. MAXXIMIZE: Thu., March 17, 12-11 p.m. $36.80-$48.30. FREE See website for details. (For Couples & Singles) (Check website for details) March 18, 8 p.m. $40. SNAILED IT! MIAMI: With Snails and special HELDEEP PRESENTS HI-LO: Fri., March 18, 12-11 p.m. $54.05-$71.30. MEMBERSHIP WWW.CLUBHEDONISM.COM guests. Sat., March 19, 10 p.m. $25/$30-$35. TWONK DI NATION: DOORN RECORDS POOL PARTY: With Sander van Doorn and more. With ad. 1st Time Couples Only. WMC SPECIAL EVENT: With Brillz and special guests. Presented Sat., March 19, 12-11 p.m. $36.80-$54.05. SPINNIN’ DEEP: Sun., 1000 E. SAMPLE RD. • POMPANO BCH. • 954.783.4741 by Embrace and Culture. Sun., March 20, 10 p.m. $25-$35. 60 NE March 20, 12-11 p.m. $30-$40. 1825 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, I-95 to Sample Rd. East 1/2 mile cross over Dixie Hwy & in the plaza on south side after Hess Station. 11th St., Miami, 305-902-7697, hangar305.com. 305-503-5700, sixtyhotels.com/hotel/nautilus. Haven. THE WORLD OF DRUM & BASS: With DJ SS, Grooverider, Nikki Beach Miami. DIM MAK MIAMI: 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION: Crissy Cris, Drumsound & Bassline Smith, Bladerunner, Random With Steve Aoki, 3LAU, Autoerotique, Keys N Krates, Rain Main, Movement, Subsonik, Danny Bled, Disidente, Lohi Stereo, Knoxz, SBCR aka the Bloody Beetroots, Garmiani, Marnik, Max Styler, and Stereotype. Thu., March 17, 9 p.m. $23.80-$29.75. 1237 Lincoln Panic City, Reid Stefan, Watch the Duck, secret guests all day Stay Plugged In. Rd., Miami Beach, 305-987-8885, havenlounge.com. long, and more. Thu., March 17, noon. $50-$70. NO SUGAR ADDED Hyde Beach at the SLS Hotel. JACKED: Wall Recordings Pool Party MIAMI 2016: Fri., March 18, noon; Sat., March 19, noon. $35-$215. All our ads, all the time, all on-line. with Afrojack, Apster, Bobby Burns, Cesqeaux, D Wayne, Dubvision, CHUCKIE & FRIENDS: Sun., March 20, 12-11 p.m. $20. 1 Ocean Dr., Oliver Rosa, Quintino, Ravitez, Wiwek, and surprise guests. General Miami Beach, 305-538-1111, nikkibeach.com. admission tickets cost $75.41; cabana and table packages are also Ocean’s Ten. LIBATION X AFRIQUE ELECTRIQUE: With Ian Friday, Salah available, and range from $2,095.43 to $10,731.98. Thu., March Ananse, David Harness, Jihad Muhammad, DJs Mark Francis, Ramon 17, noon. $75.41-$10,731.98. NERVO & FRIENDS: With Chuckie, Rawsoul, and Roland Clark. Mon., March 21, 1-11 p.m. $20/$25. 960 Dubvision, Helena Legend, Madeaux, Norman Doray, Quintino, Ocean Dr., Miami Beach, 305-604-1999, oceanstensobe.com. Sander Van Doorn, Sick Individuals, Vinai, Vintage Culture, and R House. UNDERGROUND HOURS: With Philip Chedid b2b Golan on surprise guests. General admission tickets costs $92.70; cabana Zocher, Beki Powell, and David Facada. Admission is free with Online Advertising Directory tage | a rt | Film D ish Music and table packages are also available, and range from $2,095.43 RSVP via eventbrite.com, but a $10 donation for Food for the to $12,060.68. Fri., March 18, noon. $92.70-$12,060.68. ELECTRIC Poor is suggested at the door. Fri., March 18, 8 p.m. free-$10. 2727 FOR LIFE: With Gareth Emery, Arty, Cash Cash, Michael Woods, NW Second Ave., Miami, 305-576-0201, rhousewynwood.com. and more. General admission tickets cost $92.70; cabana and Raleigh Hotel. MOOD DAY: Presented by Nicole Moudaber with Carl table packages are also available, and range from $2,095.43 to Craig, Damian Lazarus, Endo, Guti (live), and Pan-Pot. Thu., March $10,731.98. Sat., March 19, noon. $92.70-$10,731.98. MIAMI MUSIC 17, 12-10 p.m. $35-$45. TOOLROOM IN STEREO POOL: With Chus www.browardpalmbeach.com/adindex WEEK: ASOC SOUTH BEACH: With Carnage and special guests. & Ceballos, Mark Knight, Umek, Prok & Fitch, Harry Romero, Rafa General admission tickets cost $86.94; cabana and table packages Barrios, Joeski, Weiss, Mambo Bros, and Adrian Hour. Fri., March For Advertising Opportunities Call: 954-233-1569 Online Display Ads are also available, and range from $2,095.43 to $12,060.68. Sun., 18, 12-10 p.m. $29.75-$41.65. DADA LIFE’S MAGNIFICENT RAVE March 20, noon. $86.94-$12,060.68. 1701 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, SPA: Try the Dada Detox featuring a the banana mineral thermal 305-674-1701, hydebeach.com. bath, massage, and champagne ending. Sat., March 19, 12-10 Icon Miami. SMASH THE HOUSE: With Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Lost p.m. $20-$35. ANJUNABEATS IN MIAMI: With acts TBA. Sun., Frequencies, Wolfpack, and special guests. Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. March 20, 12-10 p.m. $35-$45. 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, $40. PROTOCOL MIAMI 2016: With Nicky Romero and friends. 305-534-6300, raleighhotel.com. Sat., March 19, 10 p.m. $40. 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, RC Cola Plant. ABOVE & BEYOND MIAMI 2016: With Above & Beyond 305-695-0800, iconmiami.com. and special guests. Thu., March 17, 10 p.m. $50-$85. 550 NW LIV. TIESTO: With Don Diablo. Thu., March 17, 11 p.m. $125. DAVID 24th St., Miami. GUETTA: With GTA and Felix Jaehn. Fri., March 18, 11 p.m. $125. Rec Room. SMIRNOFF SOUND COLLECTIVE MIAMI: THE MASQUERADE: CALVIN HARRIS: With Generik. Sat., March 19, 11 p.m. $200. PXS: With Claptone, Tiga b2b Kenny Glasgow, Julia Govor, Eagles & But- NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH Featuring Sandman, Michelle Pooch, Ruen, Mike Duce. Wed., March terflies, and others. RSVP required via smirnoffsoundcollectivemi- New Times Broward-palm B each 23, 11 p.m. $30. 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-674-4680, ami.com. Thu., March 17, 11 p.m. SMRINOFF SOUND COLLECTIVE livnightclub.com. MIAMI: AREA 10: With MK, Jonas Rathsman, Sonny Fodera, and PARADISE MIAMI: With Jamie Jones, the Martinez Brothers, Steve others. RSVP required via smirnoffsoundcollectivemiami.com. Fri., Lawler, Lee Foss, Bob Moses, Matthew Dear, Skream, Stacey Pul- March 18, 11 p.m. SMIRNOFF SOUND COLLECTIVE MIAMI: DIRTYBIRD len, Cassy, Popof, Patrick Topping, wAFF, Nathan Barato, Robert SHOWCASE: With Justin Martin, Christian Martin, Sacha Robotti, James, Jey Kurmis, and Kevin Knapp. Thu., March 17, 10 p.m. $50. and others. RSVP required via smirnoffsoundcollectivemiami.com. ELROW MIAMI: Twelve-hour festival at Mana Open Air from 10 Sat., March 19, 11 p.m. 1690 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-673- p.m. to 10 a.m. with Joris Voorn, Pan-Pot, Matthias Tanzmann, 0199, galehotel.com/nightlife. Fur Coat, Kenny Glasgow, D’Julz, Serge Devant vs. Citizenn, and Repour Bar. HOUSE REPOUR: With Alan Epps, Aldo Ron Sanchez, De La Swing. Fri., March 18, 10 p.m. $15-$40. 318 NW 23rd St., Andrew Newhouse, Binz & Needlz, Brooklyn Mike, DJ Darz, DJ Miami, 305-573-0371, manawynwood.com. Mana Wynwood. Mes, Gabriel Ego, Hannah Laing, Joe Santoro, Joey Cozzo, J Paul COYU PRESENTS SUARA NIGHT: With Tiga, Coyu, Dosem, Nick Getto, Nathalie De Borah, Niko Charidis, Nino, Nino Bua, NOA, Rita Curly, Oliver Dollar, Ramiro Lopez, and Ben Pearce. Presented by Margarita, Siktek, SS Ventura, and Swanky Jones. Presented by SWARM and Minimax. Admission is free with RSVP via eventbrite. Newhouse Grooves. Thu., March 17, noon. free. 1650 James Ave., com. Thu., March 17, 4 p.m. free. Miami Beach, 305-913-1000, repourbar.com. MAPS Backlot. OLIVER HELDENS’ HIDEOUT DAYCLUB: With other Sea Isle Marina & Yachting Center. LIFE AQUATIC YACHT PARTY: artists. Thu., March 17, 12-11 p.m. $50-$100. ERIC PRYDZ X CIREZ Aboard the Musette Yacht with Kolsch, Dino Gardiakos, and RJ D’S HIDEOUT DAYCLUB BY NIGHT: Thu., March 17, 11 p.m. $100. Pickens. Presented by Paradigm and Vested. Fri., March 18, noon. WILDLIFE MIAMI: With Disclosure, Loco Dice, Justin Martin, Tiga, $60-$85. MIKI MAMMOTH YACHT PARTY: Aboard the South Beach Honey Dijon, and Justin Jay. Presented by Disclosure. Fri., March Lady Yatch with Way Out West (Nick Warren and Jody Wisternoff), M ONTH

18, 6:30 p.m. TBA. LUCIANO AND FRIENDS’ HIDEOUT DAYCLUB: Of Norway, Zach Walker, Jonathan Will, Derek Hena, We In Cloudz, M

Sat., March 19, 3 p.m. $40-$100. 342 NW 24th St., Miami. Aninha, Lost Pieces (Donnie Lowe and Michael Gin), Freak the arch

Miami. GET LOST MIAMI: With Agoria, Bedouin, Behrouz, Benoit & Disco (David Matos and Torin Lawson), Diego Santana, Prince.L, XX–M

Sergio, Bill Patrick, Blond:ish, Carl Craig, Cassy, Citizenn, Damian and Muffs. Fri., March 18, 4-9 p.m. $85-$125. 1635 N. Bayshore Dr., 17-M Lazarus, Dance Spirit, Davi, David Morales, Denney, DJs Sneak, Miami, 305-377-3625, seaislemarina.com.

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arch cool people meet? M Film & TV follow us at BrowardNTStreet 26 NOTICE OF SUSPENSION Peter Antosiak Case No: 201407076 A Notice of Suspension to sus- pend your license and eligibility 200 400 for licensure has been led

against you. You have the right browardpalmbeach.com Real Estate for Sale Buy-Sell-Trade to request a hearing pursuant 205 Condos/Townhomes 235 Manufactured Homes 410 Antiques, Arts, Collectibles to Sections 120.569 and 120.57, 210 Houses/Duplexes for Sale 240 Miscellaneous 412 Appliances Florida Statutes, by mailing a re- 215 Open House 245 RE Services 415 Auctions 420 Auto & Truck quest for same to the Florida 220 Commercial 250 Home Resources Department of Agriculture and 223 Vacation & Lake Property 255 Income Property 423 Auto Parts 425 Boats Consumer Services, Division of 225 Acreage/Land 260 Out of Town 430 Clothing & Accessories Licensing, Post Of ce Box 5708, 230 Real Estate Wanted 431 Electronics Tallahassee, Florida 32314-5708. 432 Garage/Yard Sales If a request for hearing is not 433 Free received by 21 days from the 435 Furniture date of the last publication, the 220 436 Jewelry 437 Lost & Found right to hearing in this matter Commercial 440 Motorcycle will be waived and the Depart- 445 Miscellaneous ment will dispose of this cause 450 Pets, Pet Supplies in accordance with law. 455 Sports Equipment MIAMI $650K - NEGOTIABLE (786) 277-6968 460 Tickets 10 unit Building - 1745 NW 1st Place 470 Tools Renovated and beautifully landscaped 10 unit building. 6 one bed- NOTICE OF SUSPENSION room, 4 studios. Wood/tile oors, all appliances. Just blocks from Preston B. Henn Biscayne Blvd., Wynwood and minutes to Flagler and AAA. Case No: 201206737 7% CAP. PRINCIPALS ONLY-NEGOTIABLE. Call Yoli (786) 277-6968. 450 A Notice of Suspension to sus- Pets, Pet Supplies pend your license and eligibility for licensure has been led against you. You have the right PURE BREED HAVANESE Pups to request a hearing pursuant Both parents AKC certi ed to Sections 120.569 and 120.57, Beautiful w/Great Coating!!!! Florida Statutes, by mailing a re- 300 2 Males & 1 Female - 8 Weeks quest for same to the Florida All shots 786.439.7905 Department of Agriculture and Rentals Consumer Services, Division of 305 Roommates 355 Out of Town Licensing, Post Of ce Box 5708, 307 Rooms for Rent 360 Storage Tallahassee, Florida 32314-5708. 310 Roommate Services 363 Boat/Dockage If a request for hearing is not 315 Apartment/Condo/Townhome 365 Comm Rentals 320 House/Duplexes for Rent 370 Rentals Wanted received by 21 days from the 330 Short Term/Corporate Housing 380 Miscellaneous date of the last publication, the 340 Manufactured Home Rentals 390 Rental Services right to hearing in this matter 350 Vacation will be waived and the Depart- 500 ment will dispose of this cause Services in accordance with law. Healt H & Wellness 305 505 Automotive Services Roommates 510 Bus Services 515 Computer Services NOTICE OF SUSPENSION 520 Financial Services Stuart M. Golant Case No: 201409193 SOUTH BEACH $550/$950 305-538-4641 525 Legal Services A Notice of Suspension to sus- Female, to share fully furn Lincoln Rd apt. Ocean view pool, gym, 527 Legal Notices pend your license and eligibility included all utilities and amenities , I am easygoing, respectful, clean. 530 Misc. Services for licensure has been led No pets, no smokers 3 months min 533 Home Services against you. You have the right 537 Adoptions to request a hearing pursuant 540 Travel/Getaways to Sections 120.569 and 120.57, Florida Statutes, by mailing a re- 317 quest for same to the Florida Department of Agriculture and Apartments for Rent 527 Consumer Services, Division of Licensing, Post Of ce Box 5708, Legal Notices Tallahassee, Florida 32314-5708. SOUTH BEACH $895 786-556-6184 If a request for hearing is not 14th & Pennsylvania. Ef ciency/studio. Walk to beach. Luxury & received by 21 days from the secure bldg. W/D. Central A/C. 786-556-6186, 10am - 5pm -Mon-Fri FICTITIOUS NAME Notice is date of the last publication, the hereby given that Institute for right to hearing in this matter Financial Freedom National, Inc, will be waived and the Depart- pursuant to Florida Statutes in- ment will dispose of this cause 130 tends to do business under the in accordance with law. Entertainment ctitious name of " Breeze Fi- 100 nancial Solutions" and intends Employment to register said name with the Florida Department of State, Di- 102 Architecture/Engineering NOTICE OF SUSPENSION 103 Auditions/Show Biz ALL POSITIONS vision of Corporations Trevor L. Bryham 105 Career/Training/Schools Case No: 201409561 110 Computer/Technical A Notice of Suspension to sus- 112 Construction/Labor pend your license and eligibility 120 Drivers/Delivery/Courier MAKE BIG $$$ 125 Domestic for licensure has been led FICTITIOUS NAME Notice is against you. You have the right 127 Education hereby given that Institute for

130 Entertainment to request a hearing pursuant New Times Broward-Palm Beach BARTENDERS Financial Freedom National, Inc, 140 Financial/Accounting MALE OR FEMALE to Sections 120.569 and 120.57, 145 Management/Professional pursuant to Florida Statutes in- Florida Statutes, by mailing a re- 150 Medical/Dental/Health tends to do business under the quest for same to the Florida 155 Medical Research Studies ctitious name of "Credit Health Department of Agriculture and 160 Office/Clerical MANAGERS Plan" and intends to register 167 Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs Consumer Services, Division of said name with the Florida De- Licensing, Post Of ce Box 5708, 170 Retail partment of State, Division of 172 Sales Tallahassee, Florida 32314-5708. 175 Telemarketing/Call Center DANCERS Corporations AMATEURS WELCOME If a request for hearing is not 177 Salons received by 21 days from the 180 Security/Law Enforcement WILL TRAIN 183 Trades date of the last publication, the 185 Miscellaneous right to hearing in this matter 190 Business Opportunities NEAR BEACH! NOTICE OF SUSPENSION will be waived and the Depart- 193 Employment Information APPLY IN PERSON Gerson Ademir Hernandez ment will dispose of this cause 195 Position Wanted @ CHEETAH HALLANDALE in accordance with law. ALQ Alquileres Case No: 201404588 100 ANSIN BLVD A Notice of Suspension to sus- BIEN Bienes Raices HALLANDALE BEACH BOB Best of Back Page pend your license and eligibility COM Compra/Venta/Cambio 7 DAYS A WEEK for licensure has been led EMP Empleo 954-455-2131 against you. You have the right FICTITIOUS NAME Notice is INSE Insert to request a hearing pursuant hereby given that Institute for MIS Miscelaneos SER Servicios to Sections 120.569 and 120.57, Financial Freedom National, Inc, SPA Spaces Real Estate Guide Florida Statutes, by mailing a re- pursuant to Florida Statutes in- 172 quest for same to the Florida tends to do business under the Sales Department of Agriculture and ctitious name of "Helping Consumer Services, Division of America Group" and intends to EXPERIENCED FUNDRAISERS Licensing, Post Of ce Box 5708, register said name with the 105 Tallahassee, Florida 32314-5708. Florida Department of State, Di- Career/Training/Schools needed for non-pro t Veteran organization. Commission only If a request for hearing is not vision of Corporations Call: 786-306-1304 received by 21 days from the date of the last publication, the THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley right to hearing in this matter will be waived and the Depart- 530

Road, Houston, Texas 77099. M 185 ment will dispose of this cause Train for a new career. *Under- Misc. Services

Miscellaneous in accordance with law. arch water Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement NANNY WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. 17-M Assistance. Financial Aid avail for Looking for a Full time -Living NOTICE OF SUSPENSION Send details to P.O. Box 13557, those who qualify Nanny, to take care of my newborn baby, Experienced Lester T. Van Steenburgh Jr. Denver, Co 80201 1.800.321.0298 Case No: 201407793

necessary English, Spanish or arch Russian, A+ Brickell and A Notice of Suspension to sus- Beach Area $500 per week pend your license and eligibility Please Call 305-776-9874 for licensure has been led 533 120 against you. You have the right Home Services 23, 2016 Drivers/Delivery/Courier to request a hearing pursuant to Sections 120.569 and 120.57, 187 Florida Statutes, by mailing a re- Part-Time Jobs quest for same to the Florida AFFORDABLE MOVERS DRIVERS. Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, Division of MOVING & DELIVERY GRM Information Management Licensing, Post Of ce Box 5708, Services seeks for Experienced PART TIME Tallahassee, Florida 32314-5708. Affordable prices! Drivers. CDL is not required. TELEPHONE SALES REPS. If a request for hearing is not Residential/commercial Must be bilingual, have a clean 10am - 2:30 pm OR received by 21 days from the Any size job. Prof. Driver's License record, pass the 2:45pm - 7:15 pm date of the last publication, the courteous Licensed. $9.00 per hr. + right to hearing in this matter background and drug screen- east sunrise blvd. will be waived and the Depart- ing.Please email resume to Call Johnny for at rates Ft. Lauderdale ment will dispose of this cause 305-785-6282 [email protected] 954-767-6022 in accordance with law. or leave msg 27 browardpalmbeach.com

Representatives for West Atlantic Boulevard Apartments Investors, LLC, will hold a community meeting on Septem- PAIN MANAGEMENT ber 28, 2015, from 5:30 P.M. to 7:30 P.M. for the purpose of Now Accepting New Patients affording interested parties the opportunity to provide com- CALL (954) 921-9555 Insurance Accepted ments and suggestions about the potential designation of the 1418 S FEDERAL HWY, DANIA BEACH, FL property identified by Folio Number 484232190010, Pompa- ( NW CORNER OF US1 & SHERIDAN ST.) no Beach, Broward County, FL 33069, as a brownfield area pursuant to §376.80(2)(C), Florida Statutes, and about de- Certified Board Physician, Spanish & Creole velopment and rehabilitation activities associated with the potential designation, including public hearings to be held ABORTION SPECIALISTS by the Pompano Beach City Commission to consider the request for designation. Earn your HS Diploma today Low Dose NALTREXONE - LDN Financial Assistance Available • Free Test Internist Broward, PBeach & Martin Cty & Ultrasound • Doral 305-591-2288 The community meeting will be held at the Collier City Li- For more info call 1.800.470.4723 brary, 2800 NW 9th Court, Pompano Beach, FL, and is free Reasonable 561.568.1272 • Kendall 305-668-5629 and open to all members of the public. Or visit our website For more information regarding the community meeting, in- www.diplomaathome.com cluding directions, or to provide comments and suggestions at any time before or after the meeting date, please contact DUI - Suspended License Michael R. Goldstein. By telephone: (305) 777-1682; by U.S. FLORIDA EXTERMINATORS We Fight for your rights! Eng/Span Mail: The Goldstein Environmental Law Firm, P.A., 1 SE 3rd COPD? You may qualify for a clinical trial. DIY: Buy A Solution Not A Service! Compensation may be provided for time & travel. Pest Control, Lawn, Tree, Garden, Landscape, Organic Avenue, Suite 2120, Miami, FL 33131; and/or by email: Pioneer Research • pioneerclinical.com • 954-204-0052 Atty Orlando Buch Ft Laud [email protected]. Fertilizers, Compost & Pesticides. CALL 754-222-6719 954-462-4120/954-687-2422 CAN'T GET HIRED?? Argan Oil & Hair styling WANTED: P/T BARTENDER RECORD SEALING / EXPUNGING Asian Manufacturer looking for Reps in Beer & Wine bar in Ft. Laud. Adult themed. LOVE - LEE KARAOKE Must be HAPPY & High Energy. APPLY IN PERSON Music & Photo Studio - Rent Pvt. Room to Sing Latin America & Islands to sell Products. Option for Music Video (Extra Fee) LEGAL EASE 954-240-0761 Serious inquiries only [email protected] Bimini Bay Bar 412 SE 32nd St. 33316 Open - 7 PM, Tuesday to Sunday 300 SW 2nd St. Suite #10 - Downtown Fort Lauderdale

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