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E\1'1 ''-E"-T \\kl ER Three months ago. Brian Johnsrud. a 2006 MSU honors graduate in English. began his pursuit of one of 32 Rhodes Scholarships awarded to students from the Britbh Commonwealth and the United States. The require­ ments include a strong academic standing. countless days spent at conferences. perfom1ing public ser.-ice, and displaying incredible leadership skills. "It is hard to define what a Rhodes Scholar is. but you know one when you see one." Michael Miles, head of the Honors department. said. Johnsrud is quick to credit most of his success to the sup­ port he received from the MSU English Department. the Co llege of Letters and Sciences. and the Honors Department. "The best part was working with the eight letter writers," Johnsrud said. To be considered for the award, a student must have eight outstanding letters of recommen­ ~ Photo courtesy of Kimberli dation. Each must evince a close Bri.m johmrud (cm to), a 2006 j\JSU English gradual<'. is pictured here with friends andfdlow students, i'vlzchael 1Uiles (fifth from l~/i), d1mtot working relationship between Honon Program, Kimber~v ,1~\•en (right ojJohmrud), English department pro_t;-ssor and mmtor ojJohnsrud teacher and student. Mediocre let­ mendation, the English depart "Brian is the brightest thing Morgan and Or. Kimberl} about his or her potential. ters can hurt the applicant more became like family to joht l\·e seen in 25-odd years of Myers, another professor and men- "Outstanding faculty in the than no letter at all, and Johnsrud throughout his endeavor. teaching. He·s going to fix some- tor to Johnsrud, were among the classroom are a vital component admits he was a bit nervous asking "Some professors had thing in the world," said Dr. first at MSU to encourage him to of the recipe for success," he said. so much from his English teachers. over for dinner or calle(l Gwendolyn Morgan. an English appl} for the Rhodes Scholarship. "A lot of students don't know To his g,reat pleasure and surprise. benveen intervie\\S to ask department professor ,md one According to Miles, 1t is important what these !scholarships! are." they enthusiastically responded ofjohnsrud's mentors. for facult) to approach a student Beyond the letters of recom- to his requests for support. A Night of "Inconvenient Truth" for Monta ,... gets us into trouble is not what discovered remarkably well pre­ we don't know; it's what we served in 1991 with his clothmg knO\\ for sure that just ain't so." and tools by tourists in the Alps. On Tuesday evening. the Tooley showed slides of mul­ Global warmmg 1s caused by former mayor of Billings, tiple glaciers and icy regions carbon (C02) emissions. mea­ Chuck Toole-, gave a lecture that haw been melting over sured at parts per million (ppm), on global wam1ing rirled "The the years. Mount Kilimanjaro in that thicken the atmosphere and Inconvenient Truth." Tanzania, Africa has been draw­ cause sun rays that would nor­ The lecture is part of an out­ ing recent attention because its mally escape back into space to reach by Al Gore to spread infor­ top glaciers melting. stay on the earth and increase mation about climate change. "Ir has been snow-cov­ temperature. and it grew out of his 2006 ered for as long as humans can "Four hundred parts per mil­ movie, "An Inconvenient Truth." remember," Tooley said, "and lion - it's never been that high in Tooley \\ as among the first 50 now it is almost bare." 650.000 years."Tooley said, show­ people to be trained to give this Boulder Glacier in Montana, ing a graph ofC02 emissions and Powerpoint presentation. Portage Glacier in Alaska, and earth temperature. "We are way ~ Photo courtesy of Delt "We call ourselves the first Upsala Glacier in Argentina are out-of-whack with nature. This is Chuck Tooley. former mayor of Billings, gave a slideshow pmmttll 50," he said. "Did I sound like I was a few other glaciers known to now a moral issue." global warming as part ofan ~ffertfrom Al Gore's ':A11 l11con·ve11ient T committed? Good, because I am." be melting. Tooley then showed the Tooley began with a history On the Antarctic Peninsula, effects of global warming on the first) because of warmer waters technology with old habil~ of global warming and scientists' the Larsen Ice Shelf melted and water of the world. and global warming. increase global wamiing 1 thoughts and concerns about it. broke off in 2002. It was the size "Global warming causes "Science shows," Tooley said. move forward without kn Even today, although scientists of Rhode Island and exhibited d.rought and more flooding "that warmer waters feed the the consequences." 1· almost unanimously agree that an unusual melting pattern com­ simultaneously," he said, show­ hurricane, increasing duration The lecture was sponSCP ·~ global temperatures are rising due pared to other ice shelves. ing slides offlooding iR southern and intensity." Bozeman for a Healthy O • to humans. there are still multiple "They thought it would take China and droughts in northern . He concluded his presenta­ a new campus group. arguments about its causes. 100 years Ito melt!," Tooley said. China during the same year. tion by asking for people to act involved, contact Sara "'Throughout history. we "It took 35 days." He also presented informa­ on this issue. at [email protected] haw had to deal with false According to Tooley, an ice­ tion on relent hurricanes that "Between denial and despair group is working on beit assumptions." he said respond­ man was recently found due to ha\e hit the United States and are solutions." he said. contend­ first in Montana to be I ing to contradictory scientific ~e ice melting in that region. Brazil. These hurricanes. he said. ing that global warming is fact the climate challenge fOIU , \;ews. He followed this \',,; th a Otzi is the name of the man, said have been more intense than and can be alleviated. information. visit climaT. quote from Mark Twain: "What to be 5.300 years old, who was usual (and Brazil experienced its He said that combining new lenge.org. ,da\ - \o\1·11ilwr ·m. '.,!(){)(j NEWS :3 SU Students ta bit TIPsy Nvrses Notes JFSSIE SOUKUP approached her three classes about participating in the TV\ RITER project to help the TIP com­ is semester, SO students mittee improve its effective­ Test1our knowledge of METH fessor Martha Kearns' ness in getting the word out ting classes were given to students. ,.,. JULIA FITZPATRIO. portunity to apply their "In discussions with Gt E'.iT \ VRITE R edge with a hands­ !Oudshoorn], the committee be jirst used oject that helped the chair, she acknowledged that thought to l . Meth was . sity ' promote its "To previous efforts to encour­ by: 'kaze fighters in True or Folse· 've Productivity" pro­ age participation in the pro­ a.)apanese Kan11 or TIP. gram were met with a dismal wor\d war \\ d up with disco Wh en the f' is aimed at providing response from the student b W\1ite ma\es fe a~ount of iver can't deto . t:ls for cost-savings or body," Kearns said. skin t . rneth in h x1fy the i~ the 1970's . g the first ries to h t e bo oidance improvements, ,, men dunn Ouds-hoorn and Kearns said c. Gree" out, lead· elp by dy, the sing the effectiveness of ing lik mg to the sweating it they thought that by having Q\ympics e cat ur,· Person niversity, or enhancing students come up with a better ne. sme[J_ mes by increasing the work plan for TIP, the program would accomplished within a be more utilized. tment without increasing "I felt it was a great oppor­ st of operations. Current tunity for students to tap into 2. Which of tudents and employees their creative juices and to bee,, used to the .fol!ow1i1 6. Which STD is most common in bmit proposals. All valid apply their knowledge in mar­ a. Kitty l' 111oke 111eth~ 'K hos not 1sals will receive a gift val­ keting to a real situation," b 1tter · meth users in Montana? · 8 atte $1 S and will be eligible Kearns said. "Many students c D . ry Acid a. HIV/AIDS · rain-a quarterly prize drawing felt up to the challenge and b. Chlamydia d. farrn fe .. c. Pubic Lice S 1SO. All proposals imple­ dove into brainstorming alter­ e. a// ofth rttlizer d will receive an award natives, creating slogans and e above d. None of the above: meth on the cost savings. applying their ideas to various users traditionally practice class, the students were marketing tools." responsible sex o approach this project In class, some ideas for pro­ ugh they are teams of moting the program included ting experts compet­ using tools such as desk­ fi Bowing groups -or prospective clients. top computer backgrounds, 7 Which of the ote of ineth use? 3. True or False: · h'ghest ra · the "prospective clients" advertisements on facebook have the I k ma\es in ng blac ed Jo Oudshoorn, direc­ and in chat rooms, posters, Meth eats away from the a. yo U inner cities . males on the the Division Planning and table-toppers, mass e-mails teeth, starting from the gums . e f\mencan nination for Administration and quick commercials during and working down. b . Nativ . reservations I with a high MSU sporting events. ,.n... te ma es "The ideas were great and c ~, .. 1 . s.chool edu~at10':1es without a 1ng and Analysis; and many will be used," Kearns said. . a111c 111 da Marcoff, assistant man- "Watch as our ideas are imple­ d. H1sp I education high schOO 1or One Card, all members mented across campus." · is not 011 TIP committee. Kearns and the TIP com­ . .r the folloWlllg Ve had the opportunity to mittee staff encourage stu­ 4 Which OJ •je creative ideas and our dent participation in these effect of meth? g ho\es in the cor­ tional campaign recom­ projects and look forward to deve\opin a. aoftheeye 8. True or False: iations to help build aware­ receiving comments from stu­ ne ge hfthe university-sponsored dents eager to help their cam­ b brain dama Psuedoephedrine (Sudafed), a nam, TIP," Kearns said. pus. For more information on c'. paranoi~ healthy-looking. beaunfu\, main component of meth, is te used the program as the program, visit http://www. d. . now only available with a pre­ lective assignment and montana.edu/TIP. radiant skin scription according to Montana law.

Answers:

1. A: There is documentation that some kamikaze fighters used meth before suicide missions.

dhe Fountain 2. E: All of the above. Rubbing alcohol and road flares are among the numerous other ingredients used.

3. True. Meth addicts' teeth characteristically decay starting from the gum line.

4. D: as in "duh."

s. True: When the body attempts co sweat out the meth, this also causes some of the skin lesions seen with meth users.

6. B: HIV/AIDS is definitely seen in meth users. but Chlamydia is most common in Montana.

7. C: White males ages 20-3S make up the highest percentage of meth users.

8. False: Psuedoephedrine is still available over the counter. The !aw re~uires a valid ID card and limits the number of tablets a person can buy 111 a thirty-day ~ t1.t ~ ~ H~J. l\:t. t, period. H~,~4#,?JD @ Tk P~ £LIN 32S) Thursda' - \ memher ·m. ~ 4 NEWS Johns1ud: Oxford, you betchya! for MSU grad by earlier religious myths and (ONTINUED FROM PAGE 2 fueled by a mutual lack of under­ things went." Johnsrud said. standing between the East and Inaugural lecture on statistics Classical Concert Previously, the College ofLetters West. Johnsrud beli eves. Statistician john Borkowski will give the inau­ Tenor Jon Harney and pianist Stefan Stern will and Sciences had fully funded six "The middle eastern con­ gural lecture, "Statistics and Public Perception," present a recital of art songs by Beethoven, trips to academic conferences. flict can be viewed as a modern of rhe new Letters and Sciences Distinguished Mozart, Gounod, Duparc and Quliter at 7:30 To become a Rhodes Scholar, holy war - in as much as we are Professors lecture series at Montana State p.m. on Friday, Dec. 8, in Reynolds Recital Hall. Johnsrud had to participate in fighting about what is sacred to University. It will begin at 5 p.m. on Thursday, Tickets for the concert are $10 for general a rigorous interview session in us," he said. Nov. 30, in SUB 275. His lecture will be fol­ admission and S5 for students; they are avail­ Des Moines, Iowa. Sixteen final­ After the encouragement he lowed by a reception hosted by the College of able at the door. ists were invited to each set of received at MSU. Johnsrud knew Letters and Science. The public is welcome. the Rhodes Scholarship would national interviews. but only Time for a Study Break two left each district victorious. help put him closer to acheiv­ From TI1ursday, Dec. 7 at 9:30 p.m. to Friday, Dec. To help him prepare, the ing his goals. Texts he plans to Student Play Dec. 4 8 at 12:30 a.m. in the SUB Union Market, students Honors department set up a study include the Song of Roland, On Monday, Dec. 4. at 7:30 p.m., the Celtic can take a break from studying for !Tee pancakes rigorous mock interview. They the original entirety of which play, "The Countess of the Fountain" will practiced for every type of ques­ resides in the Oxford library. The be performed in t he Procrastinator Theater all night. There will be a live perfonnance by Comedy Death Match at 10:30 p.m., prizes, pic­ tion, getting him ready to tackle manuscript exemplifies just one (Linfield 125). Several students from the MSU the national interview questions. of several medieval rewritings English 340 class have written and adapted the tures with Santa, and a Halo2 tournament spon­ They addressed everything from of history, and it is housed at a play from the old Celtic tale, "Owein, or the sored by MSU Hivemind. The event is sponsored medieval literature to affirmative university that employs more Countess of the Fountain." For more informa­ by the Dean of Students Office, ASMSU Comedy action and education for the deaf medievalists than the top ten tion contact Cheryl Knobel at 406/209-1890. Spotlight, and MSU Health Promotions. "Brian's desire to learn is bound­ U.S. universities combined. less; things like 'credits earned' are Once he completes his two entirely inconsequential," Myers years at Oxford.Johnsrud plans to said. "Furthem10re. Brian has none pursue a PhD so that he can teach of the intellectual arrogance of at the university level. When some of his much-less-gifted peers; asked whether he will return to he knows what he does not know MSU, he said, "Maybe." and merely embarks on a passion­ "Where is he going? ate quest to learn it." Wherever he wants to go. It's Johnsrud admitted to hav­ not enough for him just to be a ing had heavy doubts before the star," Morgan said . results arrived. Even a world­ Thanks to the discerning and class facu lty and extensive prep­ skillful eyes of all the people par­ aration does not completely tially responsible for Johnsrud's Nov. 17 - 28 ensure success. success (not forgettingjohnsrud, •Hedge Hog 11 /17/06: Suspicious incident - •Quads 11/22/06: Criminal mischief - a stud "l11e Rhodes could be the himself). MSU has shown the a male reported that he was threatened by a reported that someone destroyed her Ninten beginning of something even big­ importance and power of learn­ female. game cube. ger for him. I wouldn't be surprised ing. In a further gesture of con­ • Hapner 11 /17/06: Suspicious person - an • 11/24/06: No reports. if it led to a Nobel Peace Prize or gratulatory support, the English employee reported that a male had attempted • Stadium 11/25/06: Theft - an officer obse something of that sort," Morgan department is hosting a recep­ to enter a locked door at the Fat Cat Bakery. a male trying to steal a pylon from the foot said. "He's one of the best things tion in his honor this Friday. •Quads Lot 11 /17/06: Criminal mischief - a stl.1- field. this university will ever produce." "One of Brian's signature dent reported that someone smashed a pump­ •Strand Union 11/27/06: Theft - a stud johnsrud's study plans include quali t ies is his unassuming kin on the windshield of her vehicle. reported that her cell phone was lost or connecting the medieval crusades desire to make others' lives sim­ • W. College 11/17/06: Indecent exposure - an len. to the modern conflict in the pler and more joyful in whatever officer observed two naked males dancing on a Middle East. He said that studying way he can. I have never heard •Officers also reported two additional insta n~ billboard sign. The males fled when the officer medieval literature here at MSU him ask anyone for anything of criminal mischief, four additional thefti approached. They were later apprehended. opened his eyes to the human ten­ in return," Myers said. "Brian's three warrant arrests, two suspicious incidena , •South Sixth and Grant 11/19/06: Theft - some­ dency to reconstruct history in an truth is one of personal humil­ two medical assists, three DUls, five vehi one stole a stop sign from the intersection of attempt "to make us feel comfort­ ity and a life courageously and accidents, five hit and run accidents, one J>°' South Sixth and Grant. able with popular beliefs." passionately lived, mind and session of dangerous drugs, one privacy i • 11 /21/06: No reports. The crusades were ignited heart wide open." communications, and two MIPs.

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Editor-in-Chief 99.J-2224 _!)__ $TUDENT ADVOCATES Ad Sales Manager 99-l-2206 Rachel Hergert ·r FOR FINANCIAL EDUCATION FINANCIAL nP OF THE WEEK Nicole Marquardt editor@e:o.ponent.mZintana.edu [email protected] Managing Editor 994-5-!Sl f }r•fj·!=Jji[.]IJ,§iii$i!1 Ad Sales Representatives 994-261 I -\manda Lirrinaga opin1ons@c:o."]Joncnt.mo~tana.edu lhring [email protected] u Faculty Ad,·isor $ Check your College Home Page TODAY Bill \ \"tlke Graphic Designer News Editor 994-2551 Brent Bernardo Schumacher So me deadlines are as early as December 15!!! Photo Editor Chervl Knobel $ new,@e\"]Jonem.montana.edu Kc\'ln Ludwig G o to your College Financial ,Aid \\'eb Site Features Editor 994-3840 photoCl<'exponent.montana.edu Photographers Look for a list of scholarship sites Shavna Gib>on Rachel Cudmore $ ieatures@'exponent.montana.edu Check your hon1ctown organizations Philip Newm,tn ports Editor 994-2455 Cartoonist Kyle Stack L~ cal s cholar s h~p s ha,Te fewer applicants Lee Hall ' P<>rt>@expunem montana.edu $ Business Manager 994-~-!Jl Look for scholarships unique to vou Copv Editors Carlie \\'tdhalm Karen \ \ .1hh Rankin Found t · . - busmcss@'exponent.montana.edu . a ion www.rankinfoundation.oro- Swtt Obeme"er S cholarship Am · . . b Writers . enca www.scholarshipamenca.org Doug Hoak . Ki m N-ieger. Dame · I Lockhart, Tanner Gooch Run, \' d $ I • t.: an erwaY. Check out free scholarship W'eb sites Ha 1 Wm per, :\ndre'' :\lacNau0 hton Stet- H,nd, " B • to , ~ u t.:, i. 'atc.:- Yrne k"tc :,,,ukup, Ntchola:. Sa\ age. Am\ :\lc:\lahon, :\tm \ ork, Ta\'lor ~I~ Fast Web W\V W fast\ b Pat 1ck ~kCue Sk -I R be orman, SRN · :vc .com Th , \e s·m, atr, e cca looper \latthe" \kLeod . e_b..t>onent provides students' per~p ectiYes on news, s ports, Express W\vw. srnexpress.com opuuon~ and features for the university and lhe Gallatin Vall The goal of the "'~ · . ey_ lo• nic.Jn: int• ~ponent •~to be fair. balanced e th"cal .,rm>ttor., .: nt JCT d S ·\I I ,.. . . . , 1 , accurate, (\<1 l l) ..Th.C tt )fl 'J9..J -., "'>' urcc'i \\\\\\ monttnae-Ju \\\\\\ -} l f • -- or c-n :i I ~aft· an1nnun.1.c.~du and ob1ecti..-e m r eporting all areas of publication. '- 11..1 trs HpJ1nrnc :l , 1 , J \ I f: " l p«>J< c tu d d l ' g ''"'

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farther and farther. The landing Jan. 9-1 1: Alta receives sixty goes out of view 30 feet before inches of snow and closes on the the jump and doesn't come back 11 th because of avalanche dan­ into view until I'm in the air. l ger, and the four of us are stuck launch off the jump, following inside the Peruvian Lodge for the lines Andrew drew in the interlodge. After skiing epic snow on a snow for direction. I look down bluebird Wednesday. we decided .io feet and see the ground; 60 to hike up to Chad's Gap that feet down to see the landing. afternoon to check it out. We Should I tum my skis 90 degrees hike up Grizzl) Gulch and look left in case I don't make it? I at the monstrous gap. With go for it. 1 keep my skis point­ our adrenaline pumping. decide ing directly at the landing until, we'd give the beast a try the fol­ BAM! I land directly on the cor­ lowing day. We shovel snow on nice separating the landing from the jump. and, as the sun sets, the gap wall. Flying forward. we make the twenty minute hike I lose my skis and land on my back to the Peruvian Lodge back. 20 feet from first contact. Thur day morning we l gather my skis, dump the snow headed up to ------from my pants and jacket, and Chad's Gap. I cannot explain the Our tracks feelina that I felt when hike back up. from the pre­ I stood up and realized I had that I had jumped vious day are jumped 119 still there. and 119 feet, wrecked, feet, wrecked the hike up and wasn't hurt. magnificently takes a measly yet, miracu- 20 minutes. lously, wasn't With the sun shining and not a hurt. I was speechless. I was cloud in the sky, we pile some happy but not just normal happy. more snow on the kick and I'd done it. carve it out. While Eric and jack Andrew was next and I took work on the jump. Andrew and I the camera from Eric as they work on the in-run. We work for both began the upward hike. My approximate() four hours. thumb hits the record button. I was at the top of the in­ Andrew's body flies over Mount the landing. He smashes into the sibly long. He turns his skis side­ being and all l can think abc I run and, consequently, was the Superior through the viewfinder. wall, directly in Andrew's bomb ways and goes from about 50 the next time l get to hit it. first one to hit the jump. I will­ But he doesn't make it. He lands hole. I stop recording and yell to mph to 0 mph in .0 I seconds. Jack and Eric weren't u ingly volunteer the day before. below my tracks, about four feet see if he was okay. All I hear is. "I He is okay, but his ski is missing; hitting it again. Eric's ba My heartbeat is so loud that it to the nght and one foot below. didn't mean to do that!" We all thankfully we find it 20 minutes starting to hurt and. more..,, attracts the guys from Pyramid He creates a bomb hole approxi­ laugh and tell him how insane later. We all hit the jump once anything, he is thankful he i< Gap, about a quarter mile from mately five feet in diameter and and lucky he is. without getting hurt. alive. Jack hurts as well 31 c \\here I am. Watching 15 guys ten feet deep. His snow-covered I was watching from the top "I am going to clear the jump has some really unique cc stop and scand at the top of head pops out of the snow and when jack hit the jump, a new this time," I told myself So. I angles he wants to try. . I Pyramid. I rake a deep breath all I hear is Andrew's laughter. angle for me. jack drops. He is give an extra push and stay in my During lunch I wasth 1 and yell. "Dropping!" l point my After Andrew came up short, going pretty fast. His jacket and tuck for a bit longer. My speed is about the tricks I could dc­ sl..is downhill and go for it. the 135-pound Newman decided pants are whipping in the wind peeking. noticeably higher than the gap. lt is going to be ' •• I Dropping down into a ruck to hike up 20 more feet in order and right before the jump his tht previous time and l know I a 360 or a front-flip. Pers<: as l hauled dO\\ n the 111-run. 1 to achieve maximum velocitv. He ski catches in some soft sno\\ am making it. l clear the gap by l feel more comfortable ' the jump ~ot clo~er and closer, Drops. All of a sudden. ll;ewman that effectively slows him down about 10 leer and ski away from front-flip . but my colleJ • j but the landin~ seemed to get is upside down \~ith his back to enough to make the g<1p impos- Chad s Gap. Saw.faction filb my chink a 360 would be easie• 11r... d;I\ - \o\1'111lwr ·m. 200(i Or1N10N7

cooler. On the hike up to going off the jump. but I think. hit it one more time but with top. ~tell Andrew I am going "Should I really try this front­ a twist, a 360. I want to stop, o a front-flip. All Andrew is flip?" How there is time to think ending the day on a good note. erned about is clearing the all this in the 30 feet of snow left However, because Andrew wants _ Andrew wants to go first, before the jump, I do not know. me to hit it again for moral sup­ We wish each I don't even remember leaning port, I tell him I'm in but I am r luck as forward to only going straight air this time. initiate the Andrew and I do a little patch­ I get down to rotation. But I work then hike up towards our led right the flats right do. Next thing destiny. Once we are there, he the cor­ before the I know. the wastes no time. "See you at the Snow iump and catch landing slides bottom, man." Andrew drops up and I an edge. into view and into a low tuck and starts rotat­ t tell if he I am 20 feet ing right off the jump. 90, 180, ble to ski from it. I land 270, and he makes it! His per- The snow clears and, with right where Andrew landed the feet rotation allows for a perfect slightly to the right. Gomg back for skiing and showed it. h of relief. I see Andrew ski previous jump. I am thankful landing, notably with both skis on my promise, I throw I grab Patrick Owen 1s a semor at m across the landing to the Andrew cleared the way for my still on. I knew he could do it in, despite being off-balance but Montana State University in t/Je eart/J back up. successful landing. I hold on as and I am damn proud. I take in not without consequences. I hit sciences department, emphasizing in e jump was ready, Eric my tails touch the snow, staying the view from the top and watch 30 feet past the landing, right geography. Owen 1s a local skier w/Jo jack were filming and I was above, knowing I can't go under. how the sun creeps closer and on my back. I am fine, but it was 1s onginally from Redding, CT. He y. "Dropping!" Now I go, I ride it out, come to a stop and closer to the mountains. Then I only then that 1 realize how far I and close friend Enc Newman were sing down the in-run. I'm sit down. I went for it, I did it, take off, the last time I will meet actually flew. featured in Powder Magazine's ling. I get down to the flats and I'm proud of it. my newest adversary. When I January 13th, 2005: A day to September 2006 issue, in an article t before the jump and catch Andrew and I were convers­ hit the jump, I am going faster remember in the minds of four detailing the draw of Chad's Cap, ing at the jump. He wants to than anyone else and I angle young men who had a passion titled "Destination: Chad's."

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Attend the MSU walk~n Flu Vaccine Clinic for Because Aunt Joan needed more Botox®* student at the students at the Student Health Service, Tuesday December 5th or Monday December 11th, 10:00 · 3:00, in the South She got a facellft, you got the tuition bill. Nol to ""°"" a c.tnpia Ooof atucMnt "-" can Hallway. The Student Health Service is located COO.•U up to 100°" ot yovredl.K.llt•on eolh ... '" onlM aipprowl k\ ... than • mlnut9 ot the northeast corner of the Sub building. All without the painful side effects. Prevent Influenza get a Flu Shot. Influenza causes a high fever, severe headache, body aches, and cough ... symptoms can last 10 days to 3 weeks and can predispose one to pneumo­ nia and other upper respiratory infections. It is preventable and only costs $15. FLU SHOTS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AT THE STUDENT HEALTH SERVICES MONDAY TH RU FRIDAY 8 - 4:30. Thur::.

• • e • THE ULTIMATE COLLEGE GUY'S SoAPOPERA Sf..'r E SINCLAIR E\PO~E '\T \'\ RIHR

How has it come to this? In a low 3. She's into some really crazy things. pull out her taser or her giant dog. rent house filled with male college stu­ From the biker gang that has her back to dents, why is there a soap opera flickering on the the art students willing to make weird parapherna­ 6. She is a person with whom many television set? The people who live under this roof lia for her, to the friendly cult that allows people would like to have sexual intercourse. (myself included) are not lacking in masculinity. to share their innermost feelings and milk cows, Ummm ... Something about being ad Everybody participates in sports there isn't anywhere she won't go tive ... Or something. (usually disc based) and tortilla­ or group she won't get into to solve based Mexican food is consumed In short, Veronica a case. When you put all those together it adds almost daily in this house. Kung Mars is a quality to a really great show with many interesting cas fu and Schwarzenegger movies show that you shoula 4. She'll blow anything. Veronica Mars is an interesting and lickable ... ea check out from epi­ are stacked on the entertainment When the case calls for it, LIKEble character in a show with intelligent sode one, even if center, a pirate flag flies proudly you do h~ppen to she's always willing to blow open ing and a great sense of pacing. Actress Kirst outside and one of the many have a penis. any scheme, even if it means going Bell should be happy with herself. mini-fridges contains an odor that after the richest or most menacing ... so happy with herself. .. nobody in the house can compre- people in town. . .. yeah, with herself... hend. Yet. if you were to visit this house on any particular evening, odds are you would find most 5. She's dripping with spunk. . .. Whoa, sorry, 1 think I passed out there fo of the tenants sitting captivated by the lV show Spunk is Veronica's middle name. She's second. In short, Veronica Mars is a quality sh Veronica Mars. not afraid to be sassy to people who could break that you should check out from episode one, Yes, I know it's a detective show, but it's still a her in half. and if it calls for it she's not afraid to if you do happen to have a penis. soap opera. Normally guys are supposed to make fun of such things, but it's always the same way:

Person A: "Hey, (masculine name), wha'cha watchin'?" Person B: "Oh, hi (another masculine name). it's Veronica Mars." Person A: "Haha, you (questions sexual prefer­ ence). you're watching a stupid soap ope ra. Well , 1 guess l'll give it a try." -(Two days later) Person A: "Holy (expletive)ing (expletive)! It's her brother!?" Person B: " ... Snap."

How is it that guys is are so enthralled by this show? Well. I have compiled a point by point anal­ ysis of the main character to determine why guys love the young female detective named Veronica Mars.

1. The way she works her legs. This is something that's missing in mode rn detective shows. She's \\illing to put in the lea ~rnrk Similar to the medium paced detective mo: ies of the se\enties she rakes her time and fo ll ows ~he lea~s co solve the crime. rather than just wait- 111g unul a guy looks at her with shifty eyes and ha\ ing a shoot-out with him.

2. ThL' way she moves her sides . Like all great detective stones. one case is not enough. Veronica has many side jobs and cases that she manages to move fo rward simulta­ neous(}. LOCATION DISTANCE SNOW OPEN WEBSITE bridger bowl, MT 1 O" N www.bridgerbowl.com big sky, MT 25" N www.bigskyresort.com alta, UT 69"' www.alta.com snowbird, UT 69" www.snowbird.com park city, UT 22" www.parkcitymountain.com jackS'on, WY 79" www.jacksonhole.com grand targhee, WY 93" www.grandtarghee.com solitude, UT 67" www.skisolitude.com brighton, UT www.skibrighton.com mount baker, WA www.mtbaker.us mt. hood, OR 10 hours y www.skihood.com mt. bachelor, OR 10 hours y www.mrbachelor.com steamboat, CA 20 hours y www.steamboat.com mammoth, CA 20 hours y www.mammothmountain.com crested butte, CO 14 hour 70" y www.skicb.com vail,CO 16 hours 70" y www.vail.snow.com copper, CO 15 hours 70" y www.coppercolorado.com abasin, CO 15 hours 70" y www.arapahobasin.com kicking horse, BC 10 hours 351 www.kickinghorseresort.com fernie, BC 10 hours www.whistlerblackcomb.com whistler, BC 10 hour 208com www.skifernie.com banff, BC 8 hours 101 cm www.skibanff.com

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'Cats beat Furman in first round ofthe playo~s "" L. L GlKes 011 =1,. \ppalachian S . n11s Saturda~ at.! on t .. S1)J. "

~ TA'i;-;ER GooCH f:XPO:--:E :->T \ \11 I ER SCORE Alright. alright, let us BOARD get ahold of reality here. Football First off. no one Nov. 25 in d1eir right Division l playoffs mind thought First Round rhe 'Cats had a Furman 13 chance of making itto the playoffs MSU 31 without bearing die Griz a couple of weeks ago. With d1at loss, most Men's Basketball of us thought die season was over. Nov. 22 bur to our surprise. MSU was UM-Western 59 selected as an at-large bid team. MSU 84 To top things off, we were able to host our first game against Nov. 26 a higher ranked opponent. In Oregon State 72 this tournament, the schools put MSU 63 out bids as to how many tickets they will sell and the 'Cats out­ Photo by Kyle Stack bid Furman; therefore, MSU was As the scoreboard indicates, the 'Cats got off to a fast start against Furma11 this pa~! S~turday. MSU took Women's Basketb granted home-field advantage. their 24-0 lead a11d turned it into a 31-13 victoryfar the Bobcats'jirst playoffwm srnce 198./.. Nov. 24-25 This was important because Wingate Inn Classic it meant Furman had to travel how the 'Cats were playing. using home field advantage to die ·cats rely on the big play, as CS Fullerton 63 here. For those who do not know, The game itselfwas over almost stun their opponent, the 'Cats will their only touchdown came after MSU 86 Furman is in Soudi Carolina, as quickly as it started. The 'Cats have to weather the initial shock a long pass play. Teams that have where it snows about as often basically 'one punched' Furman. as of having to travel across the coun­ beaten MSU have taken away the North Dakota State 7 as we see Hallie's comet. When we scored 24 unanswered points try· and playing before a bunch big play and have forced us ro play MSU 62 you consider the travel time and to open the game, with our points screaming fans. They need look a ball control game. That is exactly elevation change, Furman had the coming on big plays: two from die no further than Furman on how what Appalachian State intends to cards stacked against them before offense and one from die special not to handle themselves. MSU do. as they are an option team. the game began. I am not trying teams. These big plays seemed must find a way to get the crow This means a lot of running to take anything away from what to deflate Furman's sails. as they out of it and must not let them­ from them and it will force the the 'Cats did on the field, but I am were never able to overcome die selves get too far down because 'Cats to have ro play very dis­ merely poinung out how all of the initial shock. It is here where MSU trying to make a comeback on the ciplined on defense. The 'Cats peripheral elements of the game must walk away with a lesson, road only works if you're playing have a "puncher's" chance if they seemed to be in their favor. SCHEDUL because they are going to be put the Oakland Raiders. somehow find a way to open up Let us look at the game. If in Furman's place this weekend as The problem that I see for the a two possession game and for-:e Football you were there. you would have they take on the number one seed 'Cats 1s their reliance on the big Appalachian State to dirow die Dec. 2 to admn that was the liveliest of the tourney. play to win games. Even against ball. lfnot. then expect to see a lot Division I playoffs crowd we have had all season. Appalachian State soundly Furman. the) were onl] able to ofmissed tackles in the second half Second Round It was nice to see. after witness­ beat Furman earlier in the year put together one long drive and and Appalachian State eating the @ Appalachian Sta ing all of the other home games and made quick work oftheir first that came after Furman had basi­ dock. Here is to hopmg the magic 2:00 p.m. ESPN2 where the crowd would only get round opponent last Saturday, cally conceded the contest. we \>\~tnessed on Saturday follows upset at bad calls. rather than Coastal Carolina. Rather than We saw in Missoula how much the 'Cats to Boone, N.C. Men's Basketball NO\', 29 Appalachian State: @ Fresno St. 8:00 p.n Playoff win should secure Dec. 2 Quick and useful information vs. Wyoming 7:00 p.n Kramer's job at MSU (in Billings) KYLE ST·\CI\ • Head coach: jerry Moore ( 17 _.... Dec. 6 KYLE STACI\ everybody came out and gave ...S 00RT~ EDITOR seasons at App. St., 140-67, @ Boise St. 7:00 p.lt four SoCon championships. 11 SPURTS EDITOR the 'Cats great home-field advan­ School NCAA 1-M playoff berths, 16 tage in the first half. I even spot­ The win • Website: www.appstate.edu, winning seasons ted Mike Kramer pumping the Women's Basketlli v1ww.goasu .com against Furman Nov. 30 • Key wins: James Madison crowd up a couple times. N.C. on Saturday • Location: Boone, (21-10). Furman (40-7). Coastal Speaking of Kramer. the Washington St 7:00 was important • Year-round population of Carolina (45-28. playoffs) win validated him as one of Dec. 4 Boone: 15.000 • Key offensive players: for Montana the most successful coaches in vs. Portland 7:00 p.n • Enrollment: 14,653 State two • # 14 PB Arman ti Edwards (138- MSU's history. He is third on Dec. 6 • Founded in 1899 important rea­ 229, 1,862 yards, 14 td's, 8 int's; the all-time MSU football wins vs. Utah State 7:00 P sons. Bozeman • Has four colleges (arts & sci­ 140 rushes. 942 yards, 11 td's) list with 40, even after his win­ hosting a playoff football game ences, fine & applied arts, edu­ • #28 RB Kevin Richardson (225 less debut season. Track & Field cation, business) and a school was rewarding, not only for the rushes, 1.271 yards, 20 rd's) I have talked to Bobcat fans Dec. 2 of music. Sweet. sanity of the people who lived • #9 WR William Mayfield (52 around town and it has been lntersquad Meet • Offers ten varsity sports for here for over two decades with­ rec .. 962 yards, 5 td's) mentioned that many MSU 10:00 a.m. men and women, including soc­ out the joy of watching a playoff alumni and boosters have ;;orr cer. wrestling, and field hockey game, but for us to see how a • Key defensive players: of a quick trigger finger when crowd would react when given • #31 LB Pierre Banks (92 tack­ it comes to the stability of Football the opportunity to truly mtimi­ les. 3 forced fumbles) Kramer's job at MSU. In other • 2005 date an opponent. denotes Di\ision I-AA National • #++ DL Marques Murrell (69 Champion words. there is speculation tackles, 16 tackles for loss) A few weeks ago, I wrote • Conference: Southern about how disappointing our that his job isn't as secure as it • #8 DB Jeremy Wiggins (64 should be. Let it be known that • Record: 11-1, 7-0 tackles, 5 int's) crowds have been. especially at football games. On Saturday, 111r~da' - \m ('!lllwr ·m. 200();>.;E'-JT \\ R fER Gordie Howe does! lJitball: Bobcats get first playoff win in 22 years; play # 1 Appalachian State on Saturday DANIEL LOCKHAR is stunningingly apparent on the ground level Metropolitan The 'Cats were able to take W R! ER Detroit is home to one the high­ u·antage of some very big plays The popu­ est per captia number of ice ut away Furman on Saturda) larity ofhockey hockey rinks. Pre-dawn minivan 1he first round of the Division I 111 the northern trips for high school and even I tball Championship. The 'Cats reaches of the grade school-age children to 11 31-13 with six of Furman·s Western world these rinks for hockey practice nts coming on the final play can only be are more common than after­ he game. described as a school baseball and football The game was over in the pseudo cult. Ice hockey leagues practices. This is the sport on IJ(}nd quarter when the 'Cats at just about every conceivable the most basic level, the family. t•ned up a 24-0 lead after three level of performance flourish As a family-based institution, ~e changing plays. in countries such as Canada, the sport has kindled a passion The first came on a Furman Sweden, Finland, Germany, and in Michigan only to be rivaled by _.. Photo by Kyle Stack ·:itwhen freshman Jessie Anderson even Norway. the Canadians. ·rrmed through the line and got his hand on the ball. MSU was able to scoop up the ball only to fum­ To our immediate northern The end result of all this J it into the end zone where Anderson recovered it to score the first touchdown of his career. neighbor, Canada, the sport is investment is vividly illustrated On the ensu111g kickoff, the MSU special teams came up with another big play as junior Korey a type of national religion. The in the wild popularity of hockey ;tin forced a fumble and MSU recovered deep in Furman territory. Saturday night broadcast of as a spectator sport. The Detroit Smelling the blood in the water, MSU went for the kill on the next play. Junior quarterback Jack Hockey Night Canada can claim Red Wings have, by far, the most ,ovich tossed a deep corner route to senior Michael Jefferson in the end zone and MSU was up 24 a larger audience than the total­ difficult and highest priced ticket 'nts with less than ten minutes to play in the first half. ity of Catholic churches across to get in the entire state. The suc­ After MSU's scoring outburst, Furman was never able to recover. With the game well in hand, the the country. cesses of the two major junior s leaned on freshman tailback Isaiah Tai to, who carried the load for the MSU running game. Furman Yet, here in America, the sport hockey franchises (Saginaw and i; score two touchdowns in the second half but never seemed to get any real momentum. seems to be relegated to small Plymouth, Ml) are measured in MSU will take on the tournament's number one ranked team on Saturday as they travel to Boone North pockets of popularity amongst the thousands of spectcftors they 11blina to play Appalachian State. The game will be televised on ESPN2 on Saturday at 2:00 pm (MSll- a handful of the northern most draw each game. states. Television-wise, it has The major universities across n's Basketball: 'Cats split two at home been relegated to the Outdoor the state often enjoy much Life Network, a lower subservi­ larger and more boisterous MSU was able to take advantage of a second half surge to put away Montana Western on November ent station to NBC. The reasons crowds at their hockey games lit the Brick Breeden Fieldhouse. What was a close game at halftime turned into a blowout in the for hockey's seeming inability than their baseball and basket­ nd half as MSU ran away with it, 84-59. to grab hold of the mainstream ball games. Former Red Wing The 'Cats were led by freshman Brandon Johnson with 16 points. He was complimented by senior American attention have eluded hall of fame players such as Morris. who had 10 points and a team-high six rebounds the NHL front offices since their Gordie Howe, Alex Develcchio, After taking on a NAIA opponent, the 'Cats hosted the Pac-1 O's Oregon State on Sunday. Though massive American expansion of and Steve Yzerman share simi­ Beavers held a lead throughout the game, the 'Cats were able to close in the final minutes to make the early 1990s. lar status to many of the city's baseball greats. Basketball and nme of it. However. they came up short in their effort as they fell 72-63. The NHL has found very sta­ football namesakes appear so far ( OSU opened up a 16-point led 111 the second half, but the 'Cats were able to bounce back to cut ble and enthusiastic crowds in below the thoughts of everyday Dle ad to five points with less than three minutes left. The comeback was not to be, as OSU showed America since its arrival in the United States 90 years ago. Cities Michiganders that many of their 11e pride and held on to win. . names are much less likely to Senior Nick Dissly put up 22 points to lead the 'Cats and Ted Morris was a beast agam as he such as Detroit, Chicago, Boston, and New York have enthuastically achieve recognition at the local ~gged a team-high 10 rebounds. embraced and followed the sport sports bar than Dominik Hasek The Bobcats will play Wyoming in Billings on Saturday, December 2. for a much longer period ohime or Chris Chelios. than either the NFL or NBA can Where has the present NHL tmen's Basketball: Lady 'Cats lose championship game at the Wingate Inn Classic lay claim to. The primary reason failed to develop a passion for for its success in these markets hockey in the USA? Their present In the opening round of the Wingate Inn Classic in Bozeman, the Lady 'Cats took care _of busine_ss as stems from an all-encompassing attempt at pulling the almighty y steamrolled Cal-State Fullerton. 86-63. In the w111. the Lady 'Cats ued a school record with 31 ~ssists . effort to place ice hockey on the dollar from the American sport­ MSU came out hot and opened up a 17-9 lead and never looked back. With the game well 111 hand level of the everyday fan. ing masses can only be com­ i 1-36 in the second half. the Lady 'Cats seemed to put it in cruise control and Fullerton ~as able to In states like Michigan. pared to the failure of the Reagan a small run going. But, with under four minutes left, the Lady 'Cats went on a run of their own and M111nesota. and Wisconsin, there administration's trickle-down Fullerton away for good. . . has been a concerted drive Lo economics. Filling an 18,000-seat MSU had four ladies in double digits in scoring with senior Whitney Connelly scoring a game-high crrnte youth programs for ice ;ircna for any sport is difficult if points, while collecting a game-high seven rebounds. hockey. It is a similar path that no passion has been kindled in MSU looked to take home the championship on Saturday night as they took on North Dakota State. countries like Canada, Sweden. the hearts of the masses. Top ·n with a gutsy effort from the Lady 'Cats, it was not to be as NDSU won, 74-62. Finland. and Germany had under­ down strategies have ume again The first half was full oflead changes as NDSU was able to open up a five-point led only to see MSU taken decades ago. The state of and time provided us nothing · · c. h fi I If d · wl1ich NDSU had a 32-27 lead, on a run to take their own five-po111t lead. A1ter t e rst 1a , urmg . . Michigan was blessed not only but fantastic failures SU continued their hot shooting to extend their lead to 49-36. MSU was able to get with m five with one of the most storied Cities like Phoenix. San Jose, nts late in the half but never got closer. b' G · d hockey franchises the world and Atlanta do not possess the Junior Rebecca Mercer led the Lady 'Cats with 18 points. followed by sophomore Nu ia ama an over, the Detroit Red Wings, but hockey infrastructures akin to those in Cities like Minneapolis. ~ior Alyssa Nelson, both tallying 14 points. -11 also with a Hall-of-Fame player The Lady 'Cats will be in action tonight as they take on Washington State on the road. They wt determined to create a junior Detroit, and Boston. You are as n return home to host Portland on Monday. hockey system to rival the one of likely to find a herd of zebras roaming those city streets as you his Canadian homeland. are to find that pre-dawn hockey Gordie Howe. aka Mr. mom running her fledging Upcoming Bobcat athletics schedule: Hockey. single-handedly built hockey player Football Track & Field both the initial infrastructure to the local rink. 1212 lntersquad Meet (Fieldhouse) 10:00 a.m. The gritty, high speed excite­ 12/2 @Appalachian St. 2:00 p.m. ESPN2 and successive training formulas ment of ice hockey alone will for training America's future ath­ never be enough to fill the seats Men's Basketball Women's Basketball letes. Howe's success in bringing 11/30 @ Washington State 7:00 p.m. of any arena in any American city 12/2 vs. Wyoming (Billi ngs) 7:00 p.m. hockey to Michigan is easily mea­ 12/4 vs. Portland 7:00 p.m. that has not learned to engage 12/6@ Boise State 7:00 p.m. sured in the number of players 12/6 vs. Utah State 7:00 p.m. its youth in the sport. Passion 1219 vs. Fresno State 7:00 p.m. to graduate to the professional 12/14 vs. Western Montana 7:00 p.m. for a sport starts at the most 12/16 vs. Utah Valley State 7:00 p.m. ranks. However, it has been 12118 @ Utah -:oOp.m. basic level. and it is passion 12'18 vs. Great Falls 7:00 p.m. hockey's effect on the everyday 0 @ Utah Valley State 2:00 p.m. that fills spectator sport venues 12122 @ South Dakota State 6:00 p.m. 1212 lifestyle of Michiganders that 12130 @ Gonzaga 12:00 p.m. Only when the NHL looks to Its 12/28@ Eastern Washington 8:00 p.m. was been most important. 1 •4 vs. Eastern Washington 7:00 p.m. past successes can it build its 12130 @ Portland State 8:00 p.m. The result in terms of cul­ 116 vs. Portland State 2:00 p.m. future in America. 1/6 @ Weber State TBA ture on the state of Michigan 1/ 11 vs. Montana 7:00 p.m. 1113 @ Montana TBA l/18@ Weber State 7:00 .m. 1/18 vs. Weber State 7:00 .m. 12 SPORTS Thursd:n - \m C' mlwr ·m ')()00 The Exponent Fantasy Pltun1ner ot1t, Cutler in as Football League Broncos conti11t1e theyot1ng (sponsored by The RedZone q11arterback trend

~ KIM KRIEGER visit Invesco Field. Denver 15 - tangooch. podomatic.com) extremely capable of winni• E\PO,E'-.:T \'\ RITER four out of the next five gam~ take plays from the other. News My worst which is what they need to ell KYLE Sno. Standings: nightmare to secure a playoff berth. Tit Canadian Broadcastin (Dan) flash! They both will continue to is about remaining schedule allows thef 1 9-3 1148 L-1 see action in the Jets' passing to unfold. to do this with their defense ail Something odd happened in Rex's Raiders (Tanner) game. It was a bad call on my Unfortunately running game, two key elemere fantasy football this week: The 2 8-4 1194 L-2 part. but I didn't need the extra for me, this of the Denver Broncos' gan1 vaunted three-headed running Neon Black Tanks (Mike} points to beat Tanner anyway. nightmare is plan. In my eyes. the quartet back trio ofTomlinson,Johnson. 3 8-4 1163 W-4 On Thursday I was ecstatic a dream come back position is important bit and Alexander FINALLY had cowmilk16 (Chris) about Ramo's five touchdown true for most Denver Bronco fans. not extremely important. big games in the same week. 4 7-5 1058 W-1 passes. even though he's not on So whether Shannahan stait Johnson and Tomlinson contin­ Kstars Overdrive (Kevin) my team. Then I realized that my Jay Cutler will make his first NFL ued their outstandmg play in 5 6-6 1035 W-1 star runner. Juliu-s Jones. has appearance, filling in for the vet­ Jake Plummer or Jay Cutler, i the second half of this season Big Shots R Us Uustin) not been getting anywhere near eran Jake Plummer permanently, most likely will not matter. Stai (26 points each) and Alexander 6 5-7 1026 L-3 his usual yardage. The notes say Monday night as the Broncos Jack Rolovich, I do not care, bU (25) played his first full game SpanishNewsChannel (Kyle) they're saving him for the e nd host the Seattle Seahawks. the Broncos can go 4-1 over dll after many weeks off due to a 7 5-7 997 L-1 of the season - isn't that pretty At first, I was a raging next five weeks by playing gOQt foot injury. Sweetest Team Ever (Kim) much now? Other than that, Plummer fan, throwing out every defense. having a good runn~. At the beginning of just 8 4-8 1032 L-1 with everyone back after an excuse in the book in defense game, and not making mistak• · about every fantasy foot­ Team Becker (The Scott) injury-plagued mid-season, my of my quarterback. Then, I took a place where Plummer has m~ ball draft between July and 9 4-8 1020 W-2 team is back up to form. I had a good look in the mirror and a name for himself. The quart" September, those three guys Dysfunctional Cards (Rachel) six players (including the Seattle remembered the love I have for back position does matter is~ were the cosensus top-three 10 4-8 961 W-1 Defense) in double-digit num­ the Denver playoffs. picks, as they were in our · playoff berth secured bers. If I had played Cotchery, it Broncos as a M i k league (Tominson, Alexander. '------' would have been seven." team, not just For the past five years, Shannaha Johnson). Of course, Mike took High Individual Scorers: Jake Plummer. Joke Plummer has been is one of LT first, which left me with the PB: Tony Romo , Neon Black With Sweetest, the Cards, This being surrounded by a Super three hassle of choosing the reigning Tanks (32) and Becker eliminated from said, the switch Bowl-quality football team coaches 1 NFL MVP (Alexander) or a guy RB: Joseph Addai, Team Becker playoff contention, and the coach Mike and has failed to make it the NFL, an who clearly was on his way to (49) Canadians having locked up a Shannahan to the biggest Sunday of I am sure thl superstardom Uohnson) after a WR: Deverey Henderson, cow­ playoff spot, six teams are bat­ made to Cutler the year. this decisio great four games in 2004 and a milk 16 (26) tling for three playoff spots. is - I can't was not eas 20 touchdown season in 2005. TE: Ben Watson, Sweetest Team Considering that Neon and believe that I for him. an Na turally, I took the MVP. even Ever (14) the Raiders are 8-4 and look to am saying this he thougl though he was on the cover K;Josh Brown. Neon Black Tanks have their spots secured, there - okay with long and hai of Madden. a sure sign of bad (16) are basically four teams compet­ me. a nd here is why. about what was best for th things to come. DEF: Baltimore. Neon Slack ing for the fourth playoff spot. The Denver Broncos have organization. But Shannaha While Johnson has averaged Tanks (35) Cowmil k is 7-5, Kstars is 6-6 made a name for themselves in a wants another ring, and to hie nearly 29 fantasy points per and the Big Shots and I are 5-7. sense that this is a franchise that and most people. Jay Cutler a game since Week 7, Alexander (BSRUs): (An official state­ So. cowmilk can secure a plav­ does not expect to just make it to take the Denver Broncos fu was my number one player on ment from the Big Shots head off berth this weekend with a the playoffs. The Denver Broncos ther into the playoffs than Jal the Injured List. with a cracked coach Justin Hestekin after the win aga111st the Cards. wm Super Bowls. bottom line. Plummer can. bone in his foot. Joseph Adda1 Incident) "M) Big Shots and I pla:r this For the past five vears, Jake This is not to say that I a Alexander had a rough game defense will be wearing their weekend. so the loser is offi­ Plummer has been surrounded going to immediately burn n in Week 12. as he was knock­ girl scout uniforms to practice cially eliminated from playoff b\ a Super Bowl-quality football bright pink and glittered-01 ing some rust off and acclimat­ all week. It seems they are more contention. Oh. wait. what's team and has failed to make it to Jake Plummer jersey. becau: ing himself to the speed of the comfortable when they can that smell? Ah. yep, that's the the biggest Sunda) of the vear. the man did all he could ar NFL. Seattle decided to rush dress the way they play." . smell of blood. I'm like a shark The way I see it, and have will be remembered for goir him hard in Week 13 versus the (DC}: "The only thing I this week. Let's go Alexander! Pack, partially to make up for forced myself to come to terms out each day and playing ha would have changed this week We have two weeks left in some lost time and paritally to with the situation. is that the - plus my jersey is way too cu for my fantasy team would have the regular season and then get his body sore so that he'll Broncos are 7-4, and still sittina to burn! He gave every ouni been to not get all JUmpy about our playoffs, champ10nship . . . ~ be ready to go for the last five in great pos1t1on to grab a play- of Jake Plummer he had in hi playing two wide recievers from and consolation, will be played weeks of the regular season. off spot. There are five games to that team, but it just did n the same team during Weeks 15 and 16 of the After running 40 times for 201 Denver has remaining on their work out. He could not get ti I have a weird notion that ifl NFL season. yards. it's safe to say that the schedule. Two of them are at job done with the great cea play both Laveranues Coles and Note: Dysfunctional Cards l\1VP has returned! Jerricho Cotchery that one will San Diego and Arizona, while will not be allowed to play the Seahawks. Bengals and 49ers SEE PLUMMER PAGE 13 Week 13 results: cowmilk16 120 SpamshNewsChannel 79 MONTANA FLY FISHIN4 Rex 's Raiders 107 Dvsfunrnonal Cards 117 Bohart_ Season Pass 4UIDE SCHOOL Team Becker 142 SPRING BREAK MARCH 10-18 Big Shots R Us 98 Your winter tun ticket! \\IF PRO\ IDE F\TE'\SI\ F L,UIDE TR-\l\:l\:G Sweetest Team Ever 81 DL RI\: lo A WEE!<. LO\:G GUIDE SCHOOL Kstars Overdrive 85 WEEK INCLUDES: Canadian Broadcastm 90 • t.L IDlr-.;C, TECH'\IQLES FOR BOTH Neon Black Tanks 130 \LASf...-\ -\\;D LO\\ ER 48 MSU Student Price • Fl) FISHING TRAl:\.ING • m LASTING The top two teams losr and •Fl) TYl'\G bottom two teams won You fig­ $110.00 • DRIFT BOAT TRAl"-1 'G ure it out.Apparently. third pla~e Vfltll MSU ID. and Registration • JFT BOAT TR ·\l'\l'\C isn't good enough for ~eon as • ( PR FIRST AID the) uv Lo surpass the Raiders • ROOM A'\D BOARD • HIGH JOB PLACE\IEl'\T RATE' and catch the Canadians. \~hich • MAN' Of LAST 'EARS sn; DENTS are still the on!\ team to clinch RECEIHO JOBS AS FISHl1'G GUID&I a pla~ off berth. IN THE LOWER 48 A1'0 ALASKA The Sweetest Team Ever, the ~ Lcutdyo~ Dr~ job & Ca±cJv soM-U­ Card · and Team Becker ha\e BOHART RANCH been mathemallcall) eliminated CROSS COU TRY SKI Ct: TER M o11.i:tuU1.,, W iLd Troui:! from the plavoffs. I am clinoing Ph. (406) 586-9070 for m) playoff hfe. ~ ' www.bohartranchxcski.com ------SPORTS 13 mmer: Why the Random and quick sports nching is not a bad thing thoughts ... While picking the girls for

he was supposed to lead, Tl NU ED FROM PAGE 12 and that is what the ultimate my fantasy dating team deciding factor was for the KYLE STACK every sports fa n tliat it truly is ketball games, make sure that ing staff. never over until it's over. Thank SPORTS EDITOR the D is facing the right way. If ne Denver Broncos are a team full of prime-time players. you Yogi Berra for that saying. the D looks like a D from your p Bailey is having one of the best seasons ever by a cor- This is a Screw you Chris Collinsworth for vantage point, then, buddy, ck, and Al Wilson 1s doing the same. The Denver defense, sports col­ your irresponsible comments ... you're in trouble ... line. is loaded. Rod Smith and Javon Walker have been umn, but I nely productive game in and game out, and though the run­ have to make Dartmouth recently apol­ Reason #4 why Major League /game has not been as consistent as in seasons past, their a comment ogized for including North Baseball is becoming more like the ,Jnce is not forgotten, by any means. The pieces to the puzzle on this: When Dakota in their hockey tourna­ National Basketball Association: 1 there, and Shannahan has declared that Jay Cutler is the I see the way ment because a school official Alfonso Soriano (S 135 million), <> put' it together. people in our said UND's team nickname, the Carlos Lee ($100 million), Aramis 1is Monday night will mark a new beginning for the Denver society react to the opening Fighting Sioux, "will understand­ Ramirez ($75 million), Gary us. For the sake of the Denver organization, the players, of Playstation 3's - shooting, ably offend and hurt people Matthews Jr. ($50 million), Juan ,!1e fans, I hope that the "Tony Romo effect" works out. As beating, robbing, and trampling within our community." The nick­ Pierre ($45 million) ... \ aJake Plummer fan as I am, I bleed BLUE and ORANGE , not people - it doesn't put a lot of name supposedly is deeply offen­ nhnd glitter. Jay Cutler is going to bring a championship back trust into the way people will sive toward people of the Indian Let's get this straight. USC mver. While it may not be this year, he is the man to get the react when something impor­ origin, but why stop with them? deserves to play in the National t 'r Broncos back on top of the football world. tant happens ... Why don't we apologize to all Championship game. They beat Irish people for Notre Dame tag­ the crap out of Arkansas early For anybody who has ging themselves as the Fighting in the season. After handling amer: Gets his first playoff watched the movie "Any Given Irish. In fact, we should we take it Oregon, Cal. and Notre Dame in Sunday", the Tony Romo story in up a notch and express our sym­ consecutive games, they have n as a MSU head coach Dallas must seem eerily similar. pathy to all the bobcats in the shown the ability to get stronger Romo is tlie young, talented, and world for naming ourselves the as the season has progressed. unproven passing back Qaime Montana State Fighting Bobcats. Although Michigan played Ohio r!NUED FROM PAGE 10 Foxx) replacing an experienced Seriously, all the political correct­ State well, SC is playing strong !~ oes not come from the and successful passing back ness in this country makes me enough that it deserves a chance 16.thletics Department or (Dennis Quaid; Drew Bledsoe) want to move to Europe ... to face Ohio State ... •e officially associated while the legendary head coach 1 Montana State. This is with a famously stubborn per­ Sign that owners and general In the interest of letting ·rt conversation between sonality (Al Pacino; Bill Parcells) managers of pro sports teams everybody know that I'm not a This isn't totally a tries in vain to control the pass­ have lost their mind: A couple total moron. here is the follow­ se, considering that ing back as he gains more con­ weeks ago, the Boston Red Sox ing comment I wrote in this col­ !r interviewed with the fidence and lets the media pad paid the Seibu Lions, a Japanese umn in the September 7 issue: nity of Idaho during the his ego. Now that Romo's solid baseball team, $51.1 million FOR "Michael Vick will be MVP this I son for their head coach­ play has made him an overnight THE RIGHT to negotiate a con­ year. Actually, I'm kidding. It will nsition, which eventually celebrity, to the point that he tract with the Lions' top player, be LaDanian Tomlinson. This has left-handed pitclier Daisuke to be his year" ... to former MSU passing _. Photo by Kyte Stack is dating Dallas native Jessica 1~)ennis Erickson. Simpson, let's see if he can han­ Matsuzaka. That's right, the Even Gov. Brian Schweitzer Between the ridiculous isically, Kramer has dle the pressure and take the BoSox paid over $50 million JUSt had a smile on his face as the roughing the passer call on n himself as a fa ntastic 'Boys into the playoffs ... for the opportunity to discuss a 'Cats cruised to a playoffwin. Hasselbeck in the Monday &coach. projected $60-$80 million con­ night game and a tremendously ur football program was abysmal when he got here and he has Quote of the week: (Kirn tract for a player who is already treacherous pass interference Jd it into a perennially ranked and playoff-contending squad. on the inevitable benching of 26 and who has never thrown a call on the Pats defense against 1is year may have been his finest coaching effort when Snake Plummer) - "I have to pitch in a Major League Baseball the Bears on Sunday, the NFL is Jinterception of Jake Plummer but their teams won't be con· ciiat they don't already, but the possibility of him leaving it is a necessity. There are many with ten minutes left in the third tending for championships any· should scare the crap out of every Bobcat football fan. more casual sports fans than quarter of the Chiefs-Broncos time soon ... diehards, so the money they Thanksgiving game would have spend on tickets, merchandise. made the game "essentially How about that Bozeman crowd at the game on Saturday? and cable and satellite pack­ over." Are you kidding me? The ages is what the NFL is really e Exponent is currently seeking Chiefs were up by ten points with Now THAT was some noise ... interested in ... 25 minutes left in the game, but ~ac Guru to help work out tech­ I'm nor going to say who it was not close to being over. The 13-3 start for the Utah t1:al gliches. Must be proficient i Has Collinsworth paid attention did it or where it occured. but if anyone out there is thinking Jazz shouldn't be a surp~ise to adobe software & fontbook. to the NFL this year? The Bears· people who pay attent10n to Cardinals Monday nighter should of holding up one of those D· Fence signs at football or bas- the NBA. Jerry Sloan is the most have instilled in the mindset of underrated coach in sports, I >ur interested email [email protected] as he always gets players to bust their asses for him. Also , the Jazz acquired Memo Okur and Carlos Booze r a couple years ago co team with Andrei Kiril enko to form the most fo r· midable frontline in the NBA. ..

Ben Wallace is an idiot. He has relied on his no-nonense. tough guy personality as his schtick. so· to-speak and now he corn plams about not being able to wear a freaking headband. Please .. .

For my Week 13 NFL picks , visit my blog at www.myspace. com/kylestack ... ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

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'Tis the Season ...... to be broke bottle. Add Rind of 1 lime, cut into strips 14822 knit-scarf.html for more anise extract I quart rndka and Scotch. in-depth instructions. Add the lemon rind to the Shake gently A~ F [['I The upside: bottle of vodka, seal. and allow You get to learn a ne\\ skill and cover. The time of year has come to stand at room temperature and make a gift that people Let mixture age in for holiday celebrations that are for one week or more. Strain really treasure (especially in a dark place for I to 2 weeks good for the heart and hard on through cheesecloth or a Montana). You can personalize before using. the pocketbook. The financial paper coffee filter and serve color and keep a friend warm. The upside: stress of gifting expectations chilled or over ice. Makes I You can rest easily knowing that You get your friend a unique can ruin the holiday for those of quart. the; will appreciate how hard and thoughtful gift. If they don't us on a budget. It is not that we Va nation you worked on their gifr. like it at first. they might like it are materiali~tic; m actuality \\ e Use the rind of 1 '2 lemon or The downside: more after sampling it. Some are of a gi\'ing nature. It turns orange in place of the lime. It takes a lot of time, and it recipes you can use to produce out that it is hard to be a gi\W Caraway Vodka can be frustrating to learn. lt massquantit1es and co\'er your when you ha\e nothing to gi\'e. l tablespoon caraway seeds present status with ex might be worth the extra S7 to entire gift lift in one afternoon's Whether you are underpaid. 1 quart \'Odka holiday candy. which cos sa\'e your time, patience. and stin)!.\'. or just a normal colle~e ,\dd the caraway seeds to the \\Ork. a little bit more than the sa111ty. Ir's very possible to start student the answer to this bottle of rndka and proceed as The downside: d1ents for cookies. Some out excited and then end up ha\­ You still can't legally gi\'e conundrum is often 'just make for Lime \'odka. ies you don't e\'en ha\C to ing lost S6 with only a tangled or recei\e this gift if you're something!' ls this reall) the Pepper Vodka (for anyone who doesn't cat toy and potholder to shO\\ answer? Read on to find out. as 8 black peppercorns underage. an oven or shouldn't be we explore the ad\'antages and for it 2 allspice berries (optional) with things that could c disadvantages of making versus 1 quart vodka fire). buying. The Fancy Booze Bourbon Balls Add the peppercorns and A Massage A six-pack of PBR might allspice berries to the bottle of Substitute the bourbon fo While the coupon book be a nice gift for some of your and call these Rum Balls. The Knit Scarf vodka and for free massages is a tried Anyone with two hands (or friends, but fancy alcohol for proceed as for Lime Vodka. Makes about 60 the more sophisticated set can and tested LAME gift, it's still functional hand alternatives) can Variation 3 cups finely crushed yanil got some cheesy charm to it. probably learn to knit a scarf. cost a pretty penny. Instead of Add fresh or dried hot red wafers (about 75) Besides. it's much cheaper than Learning to knit socks. hats. or shelling out the $30 for expen­ peppers in place of the 2 cups powdered sugar sive alcohol. you can try making the SS0-$80 it takes to buy a small dogs is far more complex. peppercorns. 1 cup finely chopped pecilll your own. Most recipes take a professional massage. Buying a quality knit scarf will Five Spice Vodka walnuts tabout 4 ounces) couple of months for the proper Instead of JUSt the coupon run you about S 15. Making a 2-inch piece of stick cinnamon 1/4 cup cocoa fermentation of flavors, but book (which is easy on your scarf will cost you abour $6. 2 whole clo\'eS 1(2 cup bourbon some are more immediate. account balance but hard on What you need: 1 teaspoon fennel seed 1/4 cup light com syTUp Recipes: your reputation), make some Knitting needles (about $3.50) 2 to 3 segments star anise Powdered or granulated SUI Bailey's Irish Cream recipe special massage oil to go along Yarn (about 2.50) 8 Szechwan peppercorns or 3 Mix cmshed \\afers. I pint whipping cream It's easy. to get ambitious black peppercorns with it. 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened What ) ou need: dered sugar. pecans and Cl with the expensive and exotic I quart vodka condensed milk Base oil (like almond oil or a Stir in bourbon and com thread choices available, but • Available 111 finer 3 eggs Shape mixture into t those can pro\'e frustrating for supermarkets and Asian generic brand). 1 cup blended whiskey balls. Roll in powdered ~ beginners. You want the cheap specialty shops. Something that smells good 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Refrigerate in tightl) coW thread that comes in bulk. Your Add the spices to the bottle of (like lavender or tea tree oil). 1/4 teaspoon almond extract container several days thread should not be fuzzy. vodka and proceed as for Lime Mix them together and strain l '2 cup rum serving. or too soft or even too thick. Vodka. out the debris if you use dried 314 teaspoon coconut flavorin" The upside: Baking (or Thread that is confusing to look Drambuie recipe herbs. Pour into a nice bottle 3 tablespoons chocolate syru; ing) is a surefire way to ,, at will be extremely hard to knit 2 cups granulated sugar (about SS-S 10 at Heart & Soul with. Knittmg instructions can Beat first 3 ingredients in the holiday spirit. I cup water Herbs) or whatever is handy. be found on the internet with large bowl. Blend in remaining The downside: Baked I 2 teaspoons anise extract The upside: You get to reach helpful pictures to illustrate the ingredients. at Christmastime are e I pint Scotch out and touch that special some­ steps. For a scarf. all you need Tip: Can substitute coconut where. They're like gay Combine sugar and water in one. You could even pair your to know how to do i; cast on extract for vanilla in Bailey's. at a Barbara Streisand co a pan and bring to a boil. Boil coupon \\ ith some KY Brand knit. and cast off. Check ou; Flavored Vodkas recipe - almost cliche. for l minute, then simmer for Warming Liquid if that special http://www.ehow.com how Lime Vodka It may or mav not be ' 30 minutes. stirring someone is very special and the saved money to make occasionall). Cool. ven consenting. holiday gifts. but it mightj1 Pour sugar syrup into The downside· You're still a sterilized quart-size kind of a dork. a fun ad\'enture.

What do you want for Christmas?

"The job of the .. An elcpha111 "A bull." \'P of Admm and named Stompce." -Eloise Finance of MSL." -Em: '.\.e\\ man. Jr. Gras ... rnuncher, -Deepu Philip. PhD Fre..,hcO\\ tudent

_... Photos and Researc h by Karen Borresen Walsh and Aman' songs. ~re. When you think of what "Getting Better;' the song fea­ nccrt is, Sgt. Peppers accom- tured in Phillips Magnavox com­ 1ed that; it is completely mercials, is a critique of rules, .loping. amongst other things, and the As the first concept album, Sgt. barriers set before the artists that .,ers had a direct influence on push themselves beyond the cur­ • tc of the biggest albums ever, rent creative limit. iuding Dark Side if the Moon For the first time, we have 'mk Floyd and Tommy by The to consider how the album also o. But if you we re wondering has visual prowess. The visual appeal of Sgt. Peppers lies within 1 Sgt. Peppers had influenced · :iern music, you don't have to the masterful album cover; a col­ • e its effects through the cre­ lage of hidden meaning incor­ porating the faces and bodies of ~e works of other great bands; iust have to look at the way in famous people, surrounding th.e ch albums are both recorded brightly clad Beatles. Lennon is " produced today. clad in yellow, Ringo in pu~ple, The Beatles produced music l\1cCartney in blue and Hamson very fast rate, coming out with in what l would call a dark tan- cJms extremely quicklv. \\/'hen gerine. The famous people on the f stopped touring though, co\·er include Bob Dylan, who 1· dcc1dec.l to spend a little re time on their next album. mtluenced Lennon\ ,ongwriting Thur:-.d:l\ - \ m<"mlwr 'iO :2~ 16 ARTS & ENTERTAI NMENT

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South Park Around season three. the A show so controvertial. show started \'enting Parker and every religious organization has Stone's opinions on some of the a grudge. So1ttli f>ark still has most current events, poking everyone watching, waiting to fun at religion, racism. hippies, see what the next episode will be Raiders of the Lost Ark (season next. On Wednesday nights since 6 _ highly recommended), Be_n l 997. creators Trey Pa rker and Affleck, gays. Mel Gibson, Pans Matt Stone have left our sides Hilton, and Satanic woodland Family Guy For the most part, Family Guy ally declared mentall) rera n~ achinu and our jaws slacked with critters. Beginning in 1999, Family is more one-liners and flash­ and he discovers that as a meii shock~ Third/fourth graders. South f>ark was one of the first Guy was cancelled in February. backs rhan it is expressing views tally challenged person. he ca Stan, Kyle. Kenny and Cartman, shows to comment on the events 2002. after only three seasons. on political matters or current get away with doing whatew of a little "redneck. Podunk. of 9/11, with "Osama Bin Laden In May of that year. the Fox affairs. he wants. Although the gags h white-trash" mountain town in Has Farry Pants (season five.)" network received a petition of The funniest episodes to pulls are really no different tha Colorado constantly get caught Sometimes. instead of a cur­ over 111,000 names to save the look into are those that fea­ the stunts he usually pulls. up in some of the most debat­ rent event opinion. Parker and show. Sometimes slow to catch ture a Stewie and Brian story­ On several occasioa able and current affairs. Stone and their team of writ­ on, Fox finally noticed the high line. Most times these two hate throughout the series. Brian ht The first t'.vo seasons mainly ers some up with parodies and DVD sales in 2003 and 2004 each other's guts, but when asked Lois why he would m~~ consist of random. yet hilarious sometimes, they simply, "pull before they realized Family Guy they get together. there's usu­ such a moron. Except Lois "i storylines. These two seasons stuff our of [their] ass." Most of had a high fan base. ally a musical duo. including .a an insanity that is all her o contain the infamous t'.vo part the time. those "out of ass" epi­ The evil baby. Stewie. the few fun songs in season two's Seeming to be the onl) "rod "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut." sodes are the funniest. retarded father. Peter, and their "Road to Rhode Island" episode, of the family, Lois. voiced I in which tubby Eric Cartman is Chock full of naughty lan­ intellectual dog, Brian Griffin. and most recent]), a trio with MadlVsAlex Borsstein, becom1 on the search for his biological guage, blasphemy, and stupid as the stars of the show. These Frank Sinatra. Jr.. in season 4's more and more interesting ar father. The end of part one is politicians, every episode has a three are always stealing the "Brian Sings & Swings." With wild as the seasons progress. I left as a cliffiianger. but instead mini-commentary by Parker and spotlight. even if the story is both Stewie and Brian voiced by season four, she is shop liftir of airing part two six weeks Stone themselves, where they about the self-conscious son, Seth Macfarlane, the duos (and for a rush and becomes a dru later, Parker and Stone aired an explain how they came up with Chris. the invisible daughter. the trio) are amazingly edited addicted model. April Fool's episode, "Terrance that particular episode and a few Meg, or the insatiable red­ together. Although there are dir and Phillip in Not Without My other hilarities. headed mother, Lois. Another character that jokes in Fa1111lv Guy, they are n Anus." Part two of "Cartman's South Park is a show that Created by comic Seth repeatedly steals the act is nearly as blatant as South Pai Mom" didn't air for another has a serious impact on those Macfarlane, Family G11y is con­ the unbelievabl) stupid Peter You might be more inclined three weeks. who watch it, and I would rec­ troversial and funny in it's own Griffin. In the season four epi­ watch an episode or two wi The upset the April Fools epi­ ommend anyone with an open right. but it is no So11ti1 Park. sode, "Petarded." Peter is actu- your family over vacation. sode caused helped Parker and mind and a naughty sense of Stone realize that they had a hit humor to rent a few disks. If 10 Things I Learned from Family Guy show. From there. the quality of you like what you see, just go 1. Dogs are smarter than you. the shov. improves even more, ahead and buy the damn thing. as Parker and Stone put more Seasons one though eight are 2. James Woods has a school named after him. (season 4) thought in their stories. available on DVD. 3. Kidnapping the Pope ts a very easy thing to do. (season 2) 4. Spiders are annoying in movie theaters. (season 3) 10 Things I Learned from South Park 5. Don't become friends with a group of people. \.v here all the guys are eunuchs. 1. Pig and elephant DNA just don't mix. Something's wrong at that point. (season 1) 2. Put a lock on your underpants drawer so the gnomes don't get it. 6. If your long lost brother is in an asylum, leave him there. He's probably there fo reason. (season 4) 3. Korn and Scooby Dao DO mix, and it's groovy. 7. Babies are out for world domination. 4. It's easy to confuse the Trapper Keeper with Rosie O'Donnell. (season 4) 8. If you find an old Indian burial ground in your back yard. you should leave it al (season 4) 5. Hemorrhoids can spread throughout your body. 6. You ce>n make a pizza restaurant with stem cells. 9. You should know better than to put your family on a reality show. (season 3) 7. The Simpsons have already done everything. (season 6) 10. Mel Gibson has toilet paper made out of money. (season -l) 8. Crab people are planning to take over the world by I 0.5. Edito1 's Note: For some of us Family Guy is the coolest 7V show ever. EVER. turning everyone gay. (season 7) 9. Don't throw ninja stars. (season 8) 10. There is still one person in this world who is a bigger whore than Paris Hilton. (season 8) PAVE'5 SV51-li - OFF MAiN SLShi-AffcrdatE Check out Extrcudinary Prres Life B-4 Birth. Mrday-lhrajay 11an-~ Click on Pregnancy Frday-Sciuday 11 an-1 Q:rn www.1een breaks com

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/ __,/ 'Im o§P.Ar~cil The Equinox Comedy Death I Match Dl~CEHHEU 2

a,~ Equinox Theatre Children's AD ~HIS ~ ~~-·~ \~ Matinee Series presents: The \lo11la11a State· l lll\('n.il\ ·s l_ -- - ·------Gift of the Magi Litc·r:u:\ urrd. \rt-. P1d>li<'alio11 Nov. 30 8:00 p.111. The Equinox Theatre pres­ ents the Equinox Comedy Death 4 (For Paco) Match on Thursday, November ! Montana's attempt at foliage 30. at 8:00 p.m. l I think it's sad to see such It brings the Gallatin Valley g state possess such a small a bellyful of laughs to warm wunr of such a beautiful thing. up your winter evening and to set fire to those chilly winter Dec. 2 .1e trees here, frowns. Two teams of intrepid 2:00 p.m. n't know the names of most, comic commandos square off for A sweet and goofy gift of 1a reseeding shade of green. a contest ofwills, punchlines and holiday magic for kids of all ages . . e are golden and falling comedy derring-do. The laughter The Equinox Theatre presents Already, will come fast and furious in an The Gift of the Magi, Saturdays, Pilgrims rushing evening of improvisation that November 2S and December 2. 9 Into the stark will leave audiences breathless. and 16 at 2:00 p.m. Madness This is a one-time only opportu­ The Equinox Theatre Of winter. nity in December, so don't miss Company's Children's Matinee tlooking at these Montana trees it! series is set to provide Bozeman t~embering what it looks like No reservations are neces­ families with a treat for the yule­ tan early autumn morning sary for this production. The tide season: Soren Kisiel's whim­ hding On the corner Equinox Theatre is located at sical adaptation of 0. Henry's n the corner of Steeple­ 2304 N. 7th, across from and a holiday classic, The Gift of the Across little north of Murdoch's. Tickets Magi. This new adaptation fea­ The Countess of The Foµntain The street are SS. tures wonderfully energetic, Presented by the students of From the slanted lawn where students flock skilled actors, who will take the l\fedreval Lit. on Monday, Dec. 4, In spring to devour and worship sunshine- audience on a magical tour of at 7:30 p.m, In the Procrastinator the true meaning of Christmas Theater (LIN 125). Looking down Benefit giving: joy comes from the I would see colors DECEHHEll 1 heart, not the pocketbook. The Like patch work production is also interactive, Parking meters The Fresh Powder Party allowing kids and their parents I /...J On tall posts, Dec. 1 the opportunity to help the char­ I II(-'~ I. ti I/ Parking meters 9:00 p.m. acters decide what to do. as well DHCEllU ~it 1i That will pay you Mixers as also allowing a few brave souls If you take your time to see them. The MSU Marketing Club to get on stage themselves! ../ is throwing a ski/snowboard It features Matt Gibbons, MSU walk-in Flu Vaccine Clinic 'II many times must these trees go bare themed event at Mixers on Joan Jankowski, and Ryan for Students :iout my return in spring? Friday, December 1, around 9:00 Stumpe. Children (and adults!) Student Health Service, p.m. The event is titled, "The of all ages will love this tale, Tuesday, December 5 or Monday, I nder, Fresh Powder Party: A ski/snow­ which has something for every­ December 11, 10:00 - 3:00, in Who will rake the leaves from the front of 144? board season kickoff", the cover one. but it's especially suited for the South Hallway. The Student 'and.powers charge is SS (40 percent of each theatregoers ages S to 12. The Health Service is located at the cover charge will be donated to Gift of the Magi has become a northeast corner of the SUB Toys for Tots and Gallatin Valley Bozeman tradition over the past building. Food Bank). There will be a three years, and it is a fantastic Prevent Influenza - get a Flu "Winter White Contest," where opportunity for the whole family Shot. Influenza causes a high fever, people dress in their best all­ to spend the holidays together. severe headache, body aches, and white outfits and compete at The Equinox Theatre is cough symptoms can last JO dap the end of the night for prizes, located at 2304 N. 7th, across to three weeks and can predis­ including lift tickets to Bridger from and a little north of pose one to pneumonia and other Bowl and a makeover from Murdoch's. Tickets are SS for upper respiratoq· mfections. It is Indulgence. There are many, adults and $3 for kids and can preventable and only costs $15. many more prizes as well. The be reserved or purchased by call­ Flu Shots arc also available at the music is provided by Justus and ing 406-S87-0737, and leaving a Student Health Service l\1onday will be open to requests. message on box I. thru Fridar. 8-4:30.

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TDEJAVU .. &: "45930

T FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION 1 20 6.30 CUSTOM JEWELRY T THE FOUNTAIN 1 'O 320 5 25. Montono Yogo Sapphires 7 35 945

Montano Fancy Sapphires T DECK THE HALLS 12 50 3:05 J!\ED'S~ ('...,,.(,.i/kr, Rubies and Tonzonite 515 '25 9 4J 2 6 BOZE?\-1AN L STAI LA~ I 106) 522-0095 . I \:I 10( \\U'L' 402 EMain Downtown Bozeman 587.9339 gemgallery.com ./ Auditions for the UVagina I I I /I Mono lgucs" UECEHHEll (; \\nmc:n or .ill .1ge' ire tm tted to ,rndition for the :\fSL~ \'oice Center's produdion ot Arc you planning co travel. fae 1'.nsler\ pla~ ·, "Th<' \ ',1gtna Now Hiring! internationally in the commg :\lonologues." Both students year? .md i:ommunit1 member' are All Shift , for Our ~ ew Ex.tended Ho ~ir ' If ,0 , Jttcnd tht' Tra,·cl Health_ wekome. Aud1t1on' will be held Clean \Vork. flexible Schedule~ & Fun Cl.i" thJt is provided free ot on Thursday. Dec -. from 5:30- (harge br the Studt'llt Hc,11th 9 p.m .. ,md callb,Kks will be on V\'ork EnYironment all whtlc Center! 1-rida). Dec. 8th from 5-9 _P·~1 .. •"Makin~ Some Dou ~h~! _~~----i 1 e.irn how to prewnt ,md both tn the Strand Unum Rut!dmg tre.it ilin<'''es from food, w.1tcr, wom 2-3, on the \ !Sl ~.m1pus. .ind m'c<-h. as well ,1s conccrn' Actresses .ire a ·ked to prepare ,1bout high ,1ltnudc ..... rns. safet\, one of the folio\' ing monologues ,1nd life abro,1d .. for their auditions: "H,1ir," ":\h Class is l;RIT .md open lo .ill' Angry \'agma," or "Because He_ \\'eds. Dec b ~r :-;oon Lik,eti to Look Al It"; copies 0 1 All dJsses ,1rc held at the these monologues are .wailabk Student He.11th Center. ,it l ards ,md Copies Ill the l\.JSU Call 994-5139 for more info. Strand Lmon Buildmg. or www.mont.mJ.edu/1,,,.whs/ The \'.igina ~ l onologues will tr.1vel/home.htm be performed Ill the \ISL' Strand Union Ball room on February 9th J nd 10th. 2007. Anyone tnter­ C>tcd tn hclptng out with the pro­ duction should contact director UECEHBEll T M.1rissa Landrigan at 585-4685.

Event submission guidelines Our ne'v hours are 6:00am - 7:30pm. We are looking for ca hiers Inclusion of event infonnation in the Exponent's Calendar of Events is free. and kitchen help for all hifts. The neA"t issue is the last of the semester. Since it is our spoof issue the events listed will be fictitious. The neA"t issue available to Stop by and ask for an application submit PSAa to will be ne.~i sesester. In an email to "[email protected]" please or talk to Tami. include the following pieces of information: Name of event, date, time, location, a brief description of the event (50 words is prefer­ able), cost (if any), sponsors of the event, and a method of contact for those who desire more infom1ation. Tl I l HS 0 \\ - \me 111 b(>r 10. 2006 .\S\I l E'-.ponent

HELP WANTED job with benefits. Candidates top $$$ next term!ll Visit www. should be self-motivated, team BuyMyTextbooks.biz today! Sudoku oriented, & enthusiastic about I NG: F/T Naturalist/Education learning. Computer experience Beautiful 1BR cabin retreat. .rdinator at The Nature a plus. To Apply: email resume Silver Gate, near YNP NE gate. 2 6 4 9 1, servancy's Pine Butte Guest to mgrl 61 [email protected] Quiet, wildlife, ski, climb, rec­ h 30 miles W. of Choteau, in MS Word, Text, or PDF format, reate. Wood heat, all ameni­ 4 8 Email dawn_baker@tnc. stop by 1013 W. College St. and ties and high speed Internet 1 .Closes 12/31/06 drop off your resume, or apply included. Possible to work for online at www.fedexkinkos.com. rent. Please call 406-838 2125. 9 4 7 t ·ness Opportunity Coming Application Deadline 12/07/2006 ruour Area! at 5:00pm. 2 7 iJrk mostly from home 3 5 xible schedule PAPA JOHN'S NOW HIRING ltremely lucrative income DRIVERS! All shifts available, hir­ Classified Rates 3 6 2 ential ing part and full-time. $10-12/hr. • brk hard now for an oppor­ Apply in person at 404 N. 7th Student $4/30 words 9 2 5 ty that can pay you the rest Avenue. Local $5/30 words 6 our life National $6/30 words team more, call Zak (406) 580- GENERAL Deadline for classified 4 5 2 2 or Kara (406) 209- 5640 advertising is noon on Are you expecting out-of-town Monday for publication in \ ·k for the Exponent! We need visitors? Consider the Cooper Thursday's Paper. Regis­ 8 6 help Must be proficient in Park Cottage. Convenient to tered campus organiza­ 1

CALI. 994-2206 TODAY

11/21/06 ANSWERS

7 9 6 4 2 1 8 3 5 8 1 3 6 9 5 7 2 4 5 4 2 8 3 7 6 1 9 9 5 4 1 8 3 2 6 7 1 2 3 8 7 6 9 4 5

1 6 7 5 4 2 3 9 8 3 2 5 9 7 4 1 8 6 3 6 7 1 2 5 8 9 4 2 4 8 9 3 1 6 5 7 INALE

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. ~ z A.neq,,, 1arc . 1i _, 1 "'pi·i·l l 9)·· - of 'Swords, . Th el. h,mol, I 0 of l UI" a!l 1mer,ed). Not evernrne is ,w,1il,1bk to 0 hdp nt •n nr cns1s. T~erc• ,ire times when we hJ\e to nul ot..r,eh«·s out ot the hole ours~hes. u T.iuru' \pn -'C1 - "'1a ) -'O)·• F"1ve ol \\ Jnds, 9 o Sword, ll\C1,ed '7 of\\'and'. A.n argument 111!1 an'e bet11eeP )OU Jnd J dose fnend. This issue must be rt ohcd qmckh-, L'thennse both pJrtic' will sul L fer from guilt .md sleeples,ness. H Gemirn\~l.n 2l -June2ll:PageofComs rn1cr~ecn, / I Ace of (ups, 1langed l\fan (inversed). The relation ship you're in row 'S very loving and tru,twnrtln Howe1·er, be c.1rcful of becoming too dependant on Off Titles? Edited by Linda and Charles Pres ACROSS each other. 2 4 5 6 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 1 Prime-time staple 16 Cmu:r June 22 July 22): 10 of Coin~ (uwersed). 7 Bridge expert Sharif 21 King of Cup,, fhe !'.tar (inversed). A chanc: to b~ 11 Former Turkish freed from fin.mcial obligations is approachmg. It official 24 someone dsc vou kn J\v 1s in the same boat, help 16 Desire passionately them gam frnm this opponun11y as well. 18 Give an A. say 19 Non-clergy groups l eo ( Juh 2 ~ - August 22): 7 of Coins, High Pncstcss, 21 Debate? 23 Rings all Watch for making a b.1d dcci­ ~trtngth mn~;scd). 24 -Cat 44 s1nn th.11 rnuld '>p1r,ll mto a had sllu<1tion for you 25 All-out attack and tho,c Jround YOU. Ta.kc a moment to lhmk 26 Emulated Babe 48 28 Before poetically about th111gs before decidmg. 29 A day in the life of 56 actress Campbell? t-::"" 62-1--r-- Virgo (,\ugust 2.) - September 22): 4 of Swords, Page 32 Hill builders 33 Sudden Swords, rhe Empress. You need to rest during nf outpouring your down-time this weekend. Next week there \viii 35 Underdog's feat be nian) ,tr.:-ssful situation thrown at you You'll 36 Chops 38 He-men need niur energy to keep up with them. 39 White-sale items 42 Etched metalwork 82 Libra (Septemb.:r 23 - October 22): 6 of Coins, S of 44 Present! Scot's topper 88 Swords (both inversed), Queen of Cups. Someone 45 46 · course for t:;s"'"z--t--r---r---: }OU care about has a lot on tbeir mind right no\1, ---.:--Captain 's order and the) could real!) use )'Our shoulder to crr on. 47 Huge ref. work 97 Copy, briefly Keep your conversations between the two of you. 48 50 101 Dalmatians"? 104 55 PO service 'icorpio (October 23 - November 21 ): Knight of 56 Architectural 110 Swords, P,1ge of Cups, 5 of Coins. There is a differ­ addition 57 Caspian Sea 113 ence between being direct with someone and being feeder blunt. Lighten up on some ofyour views, and people 59 Clear the board ©2006 Tribune Media Services 11 26 won't walk away from you so often. 60 Assist in an assault 62 Intense, as eyes 101 Pub pint 13 Evidence of baffled 41 Big music maker 79 Shortened, Ill shi .agittarius (November22-December2l ):2 ofWands 64 Laboring class 104 Einstein and others scientists? member 106 Pine 43 Chinese leader 83 Wager inYersed\, Wheel of Fortune, The Hierophant. Man) 14 Cheered 49 Bounce 65 Air line to the conveyances? 15 Judged 84 Big name in seal people, strangers and friends alike, look to you for lungs 110 Becomes 51 Iron: prefix 17 Mid-1900s South 52 Clubs for Couples 85 Tire pressure advice. Don't let this wisdom go to your head, and 68 Deserters established anew Korean president letters 69 "Sock-it-to-me" 111 Lyle Lovett. for one 53 Biblical undercover don't g11·c ad\1ce that you wouldn't follow. 18 Tony Willner agent 86 Like a lobster Judy 112 He did 1t his way Verdon 70 Rotters 113 Meddler 54 Prufrock creator's 87 !'J ovel opening, 19 Like Erie or Huron monogram perhaps Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): 8 of Wands, 71 Some trains 114 City north of Provo 20 Exist 55 VCR button 90 Rolle, of TV"s King ot Corns, 8 of Swords. Yeur significant other ts a 72 Franklin, lo Sara 115 Shutterbug's 22 Kind of trip 73 Story of Popeye's necessities 58 Used cars, say "Good Times bigger muse than mu may think. Look closer at the 27 Singer Cole 61 Pitched low childhood? 29 Big name in 91 Organism rernn< creativeness they can inspire. 63 Go for the gold? 76 " Marner" DOWN consumer activism 93 Ted. of "Blosson 78 Get a load of 64 Average 30 Bottom line 65 Latin ballroom and"Soap 79 Loads 1 Sayings 31 Good times Aqua.nus Janu.in 20 - February 18): Justice, Ace 80 Bender 2 "Yes •· dance 94 Limenck land 32 Of times long past: 66 Pass 95 US-Can canals of \\'ands, King of Swords all mversed). E1cn· per­ 81 Video Sammy's story abbr 82 Beat badly ·com1n' the 67 Plus on\ upmion 1s correct for them,eh cs. Ju,;t because 3 33 Brosnan role 96 Small fry 85 Ad campaign Rye" 69 Provider of 98 Field yield tt's not n!;ht for 1 ou. doesn t mean it\ not nght for 34 Rare Egyptian provender 87 Milwaukee brew 4 Corp honcho eggs? them. Let them h.11c their npirnon 70 Squeez"' in 99 Permit 88 Directs attent1ori to 5 Compensates for Author Joyce 6 Intention 36 studying 101 Sterns 89 Touched By an 'The Cloud - Angel Della 7 Granada gold New England town 102 Doge s dougn Chamber" 72 Pt'Co F bruin l':l - ~farch 20 : 5 of Cup,, Knight Misleading 8 Deface off cers 91 37 This fine 103 Historic times 92 Pt of CPA 9 Riders al"\d o 't iP' ho th m1 er,