本书封面贴有清华大学出版社防伪标签，无标签者不得销售。 版权所有，侵权必究。侵权举报电话：010-62782989 13701121933

图书在版编目(CIP)数据 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏/陈方，任爱军 编著. —北京：清华大学出版社，2011.7 (美国名校入学考试指导系列) ISBN 978-7-302-25612-0

Ⅰ. 美… Ⅱ. ①陈… ②任… Ⅲ. 英语－写作－高等学校－入学考试－美国 Ⅳ. H315

中国版本图书馆 CIP 数据核字(2011)第 095107 号

责任编辑：陈 莉 王佳佳 装帧设计：周周设计局 责任校对：蔡 娟 责任印制： 出版发行：清华大学出版社 地 址：北京清华大学学研大厦 A 座 http://www.tup.com.cn 邮 编：100084 社 总 机：010-62770175 邮 购：010-62786544 投稿与读者服务：010-62776969, [email protected] 质 量 反 馈：010-62772015, [email protected] 印 刷 者： 装 订 者： 经 销： 开 本：185×260 印 张：11.5 字 数：249 千字 版 次：2011 年 7 月第 1 版 印 次：2011 年 7 月第 1 次印刷 印 数：1~4000 定 价：29.00 元 —————————————————————————————————————————— 产品编号：

丛 书 序

SAT，又称学术能力评估测试，是 1901 年以来美国普遍使用的大学入学考试，也是 国际学生申请美国本科必须参加的考试之一。经过多年不断地修改和完善，目前的 SAT 版本不仅测试考生的知识水平，而且注重考查他们运用知识和独立思考的能力。

考生要在 SAT 考试中取得高分并不容易，对母语不是英语的中国学生来说尤其如此， 所以平时持之以恒的努力和考前全力以赴的冲刺都是必要的。为了提高考生平时练习的 效率，有目标地进行考前突击复习，我们特意编写了美国名校入学考试指导系列丛书。

在编写过程中，常春藤 100 教育的资深顾问团队将其多年丰富的入学申请成就和咨 询经验进行了总结，同时，SAT 教学专家仔细研究了历年的 SAT 考题，并收集了大量美 国历史、文化、新闻及教育方面的素材，以求我们的这套系列丛书更贴近真题，更有指 导性、针对性和时代性。

这套系列丛书包括：

● SAT 数学宝典 ● 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏 ● SAT 词汇宝典 ● SAT 作文：你也可以拿满分 ● SAT 阅读分析及训练 ● SAT 语法攻略

其内容包揽了常春藤 100 教育 10 年来对美国著名大学录取标准的分析，东西方教 育体制的比较，以及指导考生成功进入美国名校的经验和个案。在英语和数学方面，这 套书从词汇、语法、阅读、写作，到几何、代数、统计、概率以及基础数论的计算和分 析都做了详尽的解释和深刻的剖析，并给予学习方法上的指导和考试技巧上的提示。此 外，该丛书还收入了大量由常春藤 100 教育 SAT 专家撰写的相关练习和仿真限时考题。

在使用这套丛书的过程中，考生对 SAT 会从知之甚少到驾轻就熟，从茫然不知所措 到坦然从容应对。这个过程帮助他们丰富科学知识，接触美国文化，提高英语技能，熟 悉考试模式，充分认识自我，增强应试能力。

美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

从准备参加 SAT 考试，到如愿以偿进入理想的美国大学，是一个短至数月长至几年 的过程。这个过程犹如在崎岖不平的小道上攀登，是对毅力的磨练和恒心的考验。对正 处于个性形成期的中学生而言，这个过程对他们将来的人生轨迹和成功有着重要的作用。 SAT 是一项有相当难度的考试，考生在准备考试的过程中，需有坚强的毅力克服重重困 难，需有持久的恒心面对种种挑战。从这个意义上来说，准备 SAT 考试就是为将来锲而 不舍勇往直前的人生铺路，以达到自信自强的目的。

参加 SAT 考试，进入理想的美国大学，需要考生的勤奋和努力，也需要家长的支持 和培育。家长希望孩子受到良好的教育，更希望孩子敢于面对挫折，经得住生活的考验， 有百折不挠的精神。当孩子复习考试遇到困难时，理解与帮助会给孩子温暖；鼓励和鞭 策会给孩子动力。敢于参加 SAT 考试并为之付出努力本身就是积极向上的态度和行动。 不管结果如何，通过这一过程，孩子会逐渐积累知识，培养毅力。这是不可多得的经历， 是现代教育的理念，也是考生家长的期盼。

SAT 不仅寄托着家长的希望，更孕育着考生的成功！

II

目 录

第 1 部分 美国大学入学申请及申请论文 ...... 1

一、美国大学如何挑选学生 ...... 1

1.1 学习表现 ...... 2

1.2 标准化考试成绩 ...... 2

1.3 活动表现 ...... 2

1.4 推荐信 ...... 2

1.5 面试 ...... 3

1.6 申请论文 ...... 3

二、申请论文...... 3

2.1 申请论文在申请过程中的地位和作用 ...... 3

2.2 有关申请论文的几个问题 ...... 4

第 2 部分 申请论文的写作 ...... 6

一、论文题目辨析 ...... 6

1.1 “你”的问题 ...... 8

1.2 “我”的问题 ...... 8

1.3 “你得想想”的问题...... 9

二、如何选定主题 ...... 11

2.1 坐下来，一张纸、一支笔，开工…… ...... 11

美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

2.2 九问定主题...... 12

三、论文写作技巧与建议 ...... 13

3.1 好开头 ...... 13

3.2 好结尾 ...... 14

3.3 透过经历寻找意义 ...... 14

3.4 生活无小事，用心去感知 ...... 15

3.5 明确目的，展示个性、品质 ...... 15

3.6 不要写成“个人简历”的翻版...... 15

3.7 不要过分吹嘘自己 ...... 16

3.8 不要“过度”幽默 ...... 16

3.9 反复检查语法拼写错误...... 16

第 3 部分 申请文实例 ...... 17

一、课外活动短文 ...... 17

文章 1...... 17

文章 2...... 18

文章 3...... 19

文章 4...... 20

文章 5...... 21

文章 6...... 21

二、挫折、挑战、成功...... 22

文章 7...... 22

文章 8...... 25

文章 9...... 27

IV 目 录

文章 10...... 28

文章 11...... 31

文章 12...... 34

文章 13...... 36

文章 14...... 39

文章 15...... 41

文章 16...... 44

三、多元文化、适应环境 ...... 48

文章 17...... 48

文章 18...... 50

文章 19...... 52

文章 20...... 54

文章 21...... 57

文章 22...... 59

四、目标与信念 ...... 61

文章 23...... 61

文章 24...... 63

文章 25...... 64

文章 26...... 67

文章 27...... 68

文章 28...... 71

文章 29...... 73

文章 30...... 76

文章 31...... 78

V 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

文章 32...... 81

五、有深刻意义的人或事 ...... 83

文章 33...... 83

文章 34...... 86

文章 35...... 89

文章 36...... 91

文章 37...... 94

文章 38...... 96

文章 39...... 98

文章 40...... 100

文章 41...... 103

文章 42...... 106

六、自我描述...... 109

文章 43...... 109

文章 44...... 111

文章 45...... 112

文章 46...... 114

文章 47...... 117

文章 48...... 119

七、难忘的经历和往事...... 123

文章 49...... 123

文章 50...... 126

文章 51...... 129

文章 52...... 132

VI 目 录

文章 53...... 134

文章 54...... 137

文章 55...... 140

文章 56...... 142

文章 57...... 145

文章 58...... 147

文章 59...... 149

文章 60...... 152

文章 61...... 154

文章 62...... 156

文章 63...... 159

文章 64...... 162

八、思考与分析 ...... 164

文章 65...... 164

文章 66...... 166

文章 67...... 169

VII

第 1 部分

美国大学入学申请及申请论文

一、美国大学如何挑选学生

年复一年，国内的高中生已经习惯了参加高考、筛选院校、填报志愿，然后等待录 取这一套流程。随着经济的发展，家庭经济能力的提高，中国与世界的交流逐渐增多。 越来越多的中国家长和学生不再只衷情于国内高考，开始寻求本科留学的路。这支日渐 庞大的留学申请队伍中，大部分人的目的地可能就是美国。因此，我们要对美国大学招 录学生的过程有所认识。

美国大学的招生工作和中国大学是不同的。众所周知，我们的高考(中国高等教育入 学考试)在大学招生过程中占有相当重要的地位。高考分数几乎可以决定学生就读什么档 次的大学。在美国，和中国高考相对应的考试应当是美国 SAT 和 ACT，有些人将其简称 为美国高考。但是和我们的高考不同的是，SAT 考试成绩仅是作为美国大学衡量学生的 一部分，不起决定性作用。在 SAT 考试中，获取高分的学生被美国大学拒之门外的也绝 对不是个案。在招收学生时，美国大学的招生人员主要衡量考生以下几个因素：

● 学习表现

● 标准化考试成绩

● 活动表现

● 推荐信

● 面试

● 申请论文

美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

1.1 学习表现

优秀的学习能力是绝大多数大学最看重的一项指标。在评估学生申请材料的时候， 大学招生人员会重点关注申请者在平时的学习表现，包括中学成绩、班级排名等。SAT、 ACT 等标准化考试有其侧重的方面和不可避免的偶然性，因此中学的平时学习成绩更能 够全面地反映学生真实的学习能力。同时，平时的学习表现也是招生人员判断学生在将 来的大学学习中是否有可能取得学术成就的重要依据。

1.2 标准化考试成绩

中学成绩、班级排名在申请中的首要地位无需赘述，但由于申请者来自世界各地不 同的高中，高中水平也是不尽相同。因此，大多数大学也会要求申请者参加标准化考试。 标准化考试包括：学术能力评估测试推理测验部分(SAT Reasoning Test，亦即 SATI)或美 国大学测试(American College Test，亦即 ACT)、学术能力评估测试学科考试(SAT Subject Tests，亦即 SATII)以及托福考试(TOEFL)。

标准化考试成绩是美国大学所能够得到的，唯一可以比较来自不同地区和学校的学 生的成绩，所以它对录取与否及奖学金多少的影响非常大，对国内申请者的影响尤其重 大。这可能也是大家将其赋予“美国高考”头衔的重要原因。因此，在整个准备申请的 过程中，必须认真备考。

1.3 活动表现

中学成绩固然能够反映学生的学习能力，但个人素质同样是学校关注的一个方面。 因此，学生校内校外各项表现也就成为大学评价学生的一项指标。每个学生在中学时期 的活动多种多样。例如，学生是否是学生会、班级、社团的干部；是否组织过什么活动； 是否做过义工等。通过申请者在各项活动中的表现，招生人员可以对其领导能力、创造 力、团队精神等素质有一个初步的了解。

1.4 推荐信

在了解了申请者的学习成绩、标准化考试成绩、活动表现后，学校同样对别人如何 看待和评价申请者感兴趣。因此在接受申请时，各学校往往会要求相应的推荐信。推荐 信可以来自学生的学校、任课老师以及同学。

一般，学生会选择自己的老师为自己写推荐信。首先，老师对自己的情况比较了解， 在推荐信中可以做到准确的形容和翔实的描述。另外，老师写的推荐信比较有说服力。 每个学生都希望得到积极正面的推荐，因此选择推荐人的时候，要首先考虑比较欣赏自 己或者自己擅长科目的老师。其次，推荐人最好是你未来学习科目(或与之有关)的老师。

2 第 1 部分 美国大学入学申请及申请论文

比如，你打算报选工科的专业，比起语文老师描述你阅读、写作功底深厚，物理、化学 老师描述你在他们科目当中的天赋的推荐信则更好一些。

同一个学生一般会同时申请多所大学，学生在要求推荐人写推荐信时一定要向推荐 人提供相应的信息，以便推荐人在写推荐信时有所侧重。

1.5 面试

不是所有的大学都需要面试，只有一些著名大学，如常春藤盟校通常会对申请者进 行面试。面试的重点是考察申请学生的综合素质和临场应变能力，其次是对英文水平的 考查。

美国的大学通常将面试的时间定在 12 月中旬之前。当然也有在 2 月、3 月进行的面 试。面试可以在校园内进行，更普遍的是在学生居住地区由学生和所报考学校的校友间 进行。

作为申请的一部分，面试关同样不能忽视。能够肯定的是，在面试当中的出色表现 肯定会对申请有帮助。

1.6 申请论文

了解了学生中学成绩、SAT 或 ACT 成绩、平时活动表现等信息后，美国大学同样对 学生的写作能力感兴趣。把申请论文放在最后一项来介绍，不是说明申请论文在申请中 的地位不重要。恰恰相反，申请论文在申请美国大学中具有非常重要的地位。

二、申请论文

2.1 申请论文在申请过程中的地位和作用

进入高年级，尤其高三的学生，面临申请大学的压力逐渐增大。随着申请时间的迫 近，家长和学生都会开始申请的旅程：参加 SAT 考试、填写标准表格、选择适合自己的 学校、填列工作经历、课外活动等信息、准备申请作文等。

SAT 成绩很快会出来，高中的各科成绩业已板上钉钉，高中生活即将结束(已经可以 总结自己参加过什么校内、课外的活动了)，大家推荐信一般都是充满了赞扬和肯定，没 有太大差别。同学们这个时候能够自己做的只剩下准备一篇出色的申请作文了，这也是 申请材料中我们唯一可以完全把握的。

美国大学把申请作文设置成招生工作的一个重要组成部分，是因为大部分大学认为 申请作文是一种很重要也很可靠的了解学生的途径。

3 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

通过一篇申请作文，首先，可以了解一个个性化的申请者是如何思考的问题的。当 然，推荐信也有介绍申请者的作用。区别于推荐信，由于申请作文出自于申请者本人， 因此信息更加直接。哥伦比亚大学的一位招生人员说：“哥伦比亚大学希望录取有创新和 独立意识的学生。因此，我们的申请作文题目具有相当大的发挥空间。我们希望给学生 一个在文章中用他们自己的话与我们交谈的机会，这样可以看出他们会做出哪类选择。 比如他们选什么题目以及运用什么风格来展示主题。”简而言之，写作申请作文是时刻围 绕“选择”进行的。选择主题、选择题材、选择写作风格。这些选择会透露出申请者思 考的内容和过程，显示出思考问题的逻辑顺序、观点组织能力、归纳总结能力。同时， 文章还可以反映出他的人生观、价值观、生活态度、学术态度等个性化信息。这也是招 生人员最为看重的，也是判断该申请者是否适合在这所大学学习和生活的重要参考内容。

另外，申请作文除了能够反映作者的个性和如何思考问题外，还可以体现他的写作 能力，包括组织、分析以及表达的能力。美国的大学里经常需要些论文，在平时测试中 也会有论文部分或者论述回答问题的部分。因此扎实的论文写作技巧对于申请者未来的 大学学习也是至关重要、备受重视的。

虽然，申请文章并不能决定申请者是否能够被录取(否则大家高中的生活会很单一 的)。能够写出优秀文章的也往往是那些没有优秀作文也能够被录取的学生。对于这些学 生，一篇优秀的申请作文可能只是起到锦上添花的作用。但对于其他申请者(所占比例往 往很大)，尤其其他条件都不相上下的同一学校的人，一篇吸引人的申请作文就会起到决 定性作用。

所以，在申请过程中，一定要重视申请作文的作用。尤其是成绩不比别人高，推荐 信与别人不分高下的时候，一定要抓住这个完全自己可以把握的机会，给自己 12 年的 学习画上一个满意的句号。

2.2 有关申请论文的几个问题

1) 申请论文的目的是什么

简单来讲，申请论文向读者，尤其是招生人员，展示个人风采的平台，是一个生动 形象的自画像。可以通过申请论文展示你思考问题、组织观点、驾驭文字的能力。

2) 申请论文的基本结构是什么

申请论文在结构上和你写过的其他论文没有太大差别，一般都分为三个部分：开头、 中间和结尾。

开头部分表明文章主题，告诉读者你的文章将要表达什么样的内容。

中间部分(主体)是具体内容，通常包含几个段落，用以分别诠释论证论点。

4 第 1 部分 美国大学入学申请及申请论文

结尾再回到文章的主旨，呼应主题，告诉读者文章传达了什么信息。

这种“三段式”写作方法是一种很不错的论文写作方法。开篇点题，单刀直入，会 让每天参阅无数申请文章的招生人员倍感轻松。在明晰观点后，他会顺着作者呈现的顺 序继续读下去，直到论述完成。最后，文章结尾处重复观点或者是总结，将有助于增强 文章的整体性和连贯性，并增加了文章的说服力。

当然，美国大学申请文章不同于应试文章，因此，此处所说的“三段式”只是一个 笼统的说法，是基本的文章结构，绝不是说文章就应该写成“三段”或者“n 段”。在具 体格式的把握上切勿掉入应试文章的“八股文”陷阱。

3) 写作申请论文是否参考简历

通过简历、日记等，回忆、总结、归纳也不失为一种写作前期构思的方法。但是申 请论文绝对不是重复罗列已经提交的简历、成绩等信息的。申请论文是申请中独立的一 部分，与其他环节平行，需要传达出其他部分没有的信息。而学校让你提交申请论文的 本意也是如此，需要你展示出其他申请部分所没有反映的信息，更深入地了解你。因此， 申请论文并不是简单的信息重复。

4) 申请论文需是否需要题目。

不需要。入学申请论文的题目是可有可无的，没有强制性要求。如果你认为你的题 目会对招生老师产生吸引作用，或者对文章有特殊意义，那你可以把你的题目放在首行 中间，否则，放心大胆地直接进入文章正文吧。

在多年的学习生活过程中，你一定写过很多论文、报告，并且已经掌握了或者至少 了解了基本的论文写作方法和技巧，因此申请论文的写作并不是不可征服的困难。只要 注意申请作文的特点，以及如何应用的方法，写出一篇得体的申请论文对于你来讲并不 是遥不可及的事情。

5

第 2 部分

申请论文的写作

一、论文题目辨析

目前，超过 390 所高等院校的录取工作都采用《通用申请表》(Common Application)。 大部分学校还会要求再提交一份补充申请表(Common Application Supplement)。

《通用申请表》里，需要提交两篇文章：

第一篇：Short Answer(短文)：

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below or on an attached sheet (150 words or fewer).

请在以下空间内简述一项课外活动或工作经历，或另附一张纸(150 词以内)

第二篇：Personal Essay(250 词以上长文章)：

Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. Please indicate your topic by checking the appropriate box. This personal essay helps us become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

除了课程、分数等客观数据以外，作文可以帮助我们更好地了解你作为一个学生和 一个人的各个方面。它也能展示你组织思想和表达自己的能力。请自选话题或从以下题 目中任选一题进行写作：

第 2 部分 申请论文的写作

1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have forced and its impact on you.

评价一次重要的经历、成就、危机或者遭遇的道德困境以及这些对你的影响。

2. Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

讨论一件与你个人、所在地、所在国家有关的事情或你关心的国际事件并阐述它对 你的影响。

3. Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

描写一个对你有深刻影响的人及其影响。

4. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

描述一个小说角色、历史人物或者一件影响你的创作(艺术品、音乐、科学发明等)， 并阐述对你的影响。

5. A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

一系列的学习兴趣、个人观点、生活经验都能增加教育的多样性。根据你的个人背 景，描述一段经历，用以说明你能增添大学的多样性，或者说明一个文化多样性的校园 对你的重要性。

6. Topics of your choice.

题目自拟

不同院校在申请论文方面的要求不同，相当数量的院校除上述通用文章(Common Application Essay)外都同时设有自己的命题。题目之多、范围之广，很难一一列出。而 且大量问题并不是只字片语能够准确回答的。不同院校的问题可能有所重复，因此在回 答类似重复的问题时可以根据具体问题对论文进行适当修改，重复利用。所以我们需要 对各种题目进行分类总结，便于准备。面对庞杂的命题，我们也不是无规律可循。

我们通常所看到的论文题目都要求你选择某段经历、某个对你具有影响的人物，阐 述这些是如何影响你、改变你的。无论问题形式如何，问题的答案应当都是描述性的。

7 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

这类问题大致可以分为三类：

1.1 “你”的问题

这类命题通常就是要求申请者写一篇自我介绍。以下是一些此类命题的例子：

1. How would you describe yourself as a human being? What quality do you like best in yourself and what do you like least? What quality would you most like to see flourish and which would you like to see wither?

你如何介绍自己？你最得意和最不喜欢的品质分别是什么？你最想发扬自己的哪项 品质，最想摒弃哪项品质？

2. Describe the most challenging obstacle you have had to overcome, discuss its impact, and tell what you have learned from the experience.

描述一件你经历过的最大的挑战，讨论它的影响，并叙述你从中有何领悟。

3. Creative people state that taking risks often promotes important discoveries in their lives or work. Discuss a risk that has led to a significant change(positive or negative) in your personal or intellectual life.

有创造力的人说，冒险常常能为他们的工作或生活带来重要发现。讨论一次在你自 己生活或学习中的冒险经历及其给你带来的巨大变化(积极的或消极的)。

这类问题通常比较直白，很明确地告诉申请者需要提交一份“自我介绍”。学校通常 设置这类题目是给申请者一个平台，可以直接展现自我鲜明的个性、热情奔放的特点、 敏锐的思维等一切优点。

应对此类题目的关键是找到支撑自己论点的一件或几件具有代表性的实例，亦即论 据，用以论证你的团队精神、好学的态度、与人为善的品质等。

写这种作文最常见的问题就是文章重点不突出、主题不鲜明。申请作文篇幅短到几 十字，最长不过一页多，仅凭这些文字是无论如何都不可能面面俱到地把自己完整地描 述出来的。这时候就需要你从自己多方面的特点中找到个性，找到最突出的那个特质， 有重点地展示给大学招生人员，再辅以生动、翔实的实例予以佐证。

1.2 “我”的问题

这类命题通常都是让申请者陈述选择该学校或者相应专业的原因。下面是一些例子：

1. If you are interested in pursuing a B.S.E. degree, please write an essay why you are

8 第 2 部分 申请论文的写作 interested in studying engineering, any experiences or exposure to engineering you have had, and think the program in engineering offered at Princeton suit your particular interest?

如果你打算读取工学士学位，请提交一篇文章(任何相关的经历或对工程学的理 解)用以阐述你对工程学感兴趣的原因，并且思考哪些普林斯顿大学提供的课程符合你 的兴趣。

2. How did you learn about XX and why apply?

你是如何了解 XX 大学的，申请原因是什么？

3. Why are you interested in studying XX?

你对在 XX 学习感兴趣的原因是什么？

4. How do you think the program in XX at XX might suit your particular interests?

为什么 XX 大学 XX 系的课程符合你的兴趣？

5. Many students decide to apply to XX based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons for making XX a possible college choice, why is XX a particularly good match for you?

很多学生考虑到我们的规模、校址、声誉、当然还有气候而决定申请 XX 大学。除 了这些把 XX 列为选择的理由，XX 还有什么特别之处特别适合你？

如果说自我介绍是一种个人陈述以“你”为主题，那么这类问题就是需要将“你” 与“我”联系起来成为论述中心。“你”还是一个个体，“我”则是学校、专业等。

和具有不同特质的申请者一样，每所院校也各具特色，在专业设置、重点学术研究 领域不尽相同。比如，哈佛大学在科学、人文方面的科研实力都非常强，在全球学术界 的影响力很大。与此相比，哈佛工科的教研实力稍差一些，而麻省理工在工程学上占有 绝对优势。调查并比较各学校的特点，是你在选校的时候就进行过的。因此你对选择该 校的理由应当非常清楚。所以写这类作文不会有无从下笔的情况。

这样，就对你提出一个很明确的要求——尽可能地深入了解你所申请的学校。然后 根据你所掌握的信息，用事实说话，罗列出为什么这所大学的某些特质会吸引你。然后 将这些特质和你自己进行联系。这就是回答这类问题的重点。

1.3 “你得想想”的问题

很多时候，大学会要求你选择你的一段经历，高中时的几件具有特殊意义的事情，

9 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

某个对你具有深刻影响的人物，对你成长产生重大影响的事物等。以下是一些例子：

1. If you were given the opportunity to spend one year in service on behalf of others, which area would you choose? Briefly explain why.

如果你有一年的时间可以代替其他人，那你的选择会是什么？简述原因。

2. What kind of person would you consider an ideal roommate for your freshman year in college?

你心中理想的大一室友会是什么样的人呢？

3. Do you believe there's a generation gap? Describe the differences between your generation and others.

你相信有代沟吗？描述你们这代人与其他年龄人的代沟是什么？

4. Write page 297 of your 300-page autobiography.

请写下你共 300 页的自传的第 297 页内容。

5. In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

在 2050 年，有一部描写你生活的电影开拍。请告诉我们电影的名字并简述故事 情节。

比起开门见山的个人陈述性命题和重点明确的选择 XX 的命题，这类问题相对委婉、 隐晦，重点需要挖掘。

同时，这类命题往往范围比较广泛，给你广阔的发挥空间。学校不是通过你直接陈 述如何适合该大学来了解你，而是通过你对其他一些问题的选择、思考与回答，然后对 你进行评判。

和前面两类命题类似，这类命题的实质仍然以“你”为中心，因为无论命题需要你 陈述什么内容，最终目的还是要透过文章了解你的特点与个性。虽然给了比较宽泛的选 择空间，但这类题目往往还是限定某个领域供你选择，比如“某个人”、“某件或某几件 什么事情”等。这样，就可以使你确定写作方向、缩小思考范围。

总之，除了上面例子外，还有很多。但是，无论题目以什么形式出现或者属于哪一 类，文章的目的都是需要你向学校展示自我，无论文章重点描述的内容是什么，文章的 中心仍然是“你”。比如在回答“对你影响深刻的人”的问题时，也许通篇刻画一个你心 目中的英雄，但归根到底还是通过你选择这样一个人物，以描写能够说明你和你所描写

10 第 2 部分 申请论文的写作

的人物具有、或者你希望具有相似的特质。在回答“为什么选择我们学校”的问题时， 你避免不了选择自己适合该学校的特长或特点。总之，文章的一切元素总以“你“为中 心展开。

二、如何选定主题

在理解论文题目后，你下一步的任务就是确定文章的主题。正所谓万事开头难，确 定主题将决定你文章的写作中心与方向，因此一定要仔细慎重。许多命题经常要求你回 忆过去经历的许许多多的事情，然后从中挑选一件或几件进行深入叙述。在面对这样的 题目时，每个人都会面对这样一个问题：“天哪，我怎么从这么多经历的事情和接触的人 中挑选出那个最能代表我个性、对我具有最深刻影响的事情或人物啊？”然后就会面临 无从下笔的尴尬。这时就请你静下心来冷静思考，对自己的经历进行一次梳理。

2.1 坐下来，一张纸、一支笔，开工……

首先，拿一张纸，静静地坐下罗列出你经历过的重大事情、熟悉的人物、参加过的 重要活动等。如果你仍然不知道应该怎么写，那下面的问题也许有点帮助：

1. 如果让你现在写一篇自传，请按照时间的先后顺序列出你准备叙述的五到十件事。

2. 列出五个最能描述你个性和特点的形容词。如果实在找不出来你可以请亲朋好友 帮忙。

3. 选出对你具有意义的五项收获。这里所说的成就不一定是一般意义上的奖项。也 许你选出来收获对别人来讲微不足道，但对于你个人意义深刻。

4. 列出三到五个你擅长的学科、项目等。

5. 列出你最重要的五项课外活动。

6. 列出五位你最尊敬和崇拜的对象，可以是伟人、亲人、朋友等。

7. 你最喜欢的书、电影分别是什么？

8. 列出你经历过的两次人生低谷和两次重大成功的时期。

9. 向父母询问三到五件对你印象深刻的事情。

10. 分别列出三条你最喜欢和最厌恶的活动、地方、物品等。

完成以上工作后，这时你应当有至少 30 个可写的话题了。下一步工作就是从这些 话题中筛选出与申请作文有关的内容了。请通过以下方面逐条考量上述话题：

11 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

● 这是你独有的，还是大部分人都有的特质？

● 是什么促使我加入了这项活动？

● 使你将这项活动进行下去的理由是什么？

● 是什么原因使你对这件事印象深刻？

● 经历这件事后你如何变得更加成熟了？

● 你为什么会列出这个人呢？

● 你希望以此人为榜样吗？

● 这个人的哪个或哪些特点吸引你？

● 这个人说过什么话让你终生难忘？

● 为什么你喜欢或者讨厌这个事物？

● 这个事物会对你产生怎样的影响？

● 从这次失利中你能总结出什么经验？

回答完这些问题，你就会发现不再无从下笔，至少有五到七个备选话题了。下面的 工作就是从这几个话题中根据命题要求确定文章主题方向。

2.2 九问定主题

请通过回答以下问题最终确定文章的主题方向：

1. 你选择的这个话题是否能充分体现出你有别于他人?

2. 这个话题是否只会将你的软点暴露无遗？

3. 这些内容在申请材料的其他部分是否出现过？

4. 是否能找到生动翔实的论据支撑这个主题？

5. 这个主题是否可以针对命题进行全面诠释？

6. 这个话题是否可以吸引读者并给读者留下印象？

7. 这个话题是否真实可靠并且可以完全驾驭？

8. 这个话题类型是否与申请材料的其他部分格调一致？

12 第 2 部分 申请论文的写作

9. 你选择的话题是否过于讨巧，会使阅文无数的招生人员反感？

用回答上述问题的方式筛选每个备选话题，上述九问答案全部为“No”则表明该主 题入选。最终从所有备选话题中确定两个到三个。如果筛选后还有很多，那么就根据你 自己把握的难易度和话题的新颖程度选两到三个出来；如果经过筛选，没有合适的话题， 那恐怕你得返回梳理自己的环节了。

确定主题或者论点这个最艰难的过程结束后，你就可以按照多年学习论文的知识和 经验着手写作了：寻找论据、确定论证方法、组织文章结构和修饰润色。针对入学申请 论文，接下来列出一些建议供你参考。

三、论文写作技巧与建议

3.1 好开头

据统计，每个招生人员平均每天审阅至少 50 份申请材料，每份申请材料都有二三 十页。这样算下来，他们每天至少阅读一千页的申请材料！虽然他们的工作就是审阅申 请材料，但是他们也是人而非机器，并且他们是超负荷工作的疲惫的人。所以，他们很 可能随便翻翻开头，或者再扫一眼结尾，然后就会对文章有大概的判断了，要么是被精 彩的开头吸引，饶有兴致地仔细欣赏下去；要么被千篇一律的开头弄得头昏脑胀，粗略 地或者采用跳读的方式结束审阅工作。你希望审阅你材料的招生人员以一种什么态度审 阅你的论文呢？可见一个精彩的开头有多么重要。

精彩的文章开头能一下子打动读者的心。好文章的开头应具备哪些标准呢？

● 简洁。简洁是议论文开好头的保证，尤其是复述材料时更是只能对材料进行简要 概括，切不可详细叙述。

● 主题鲜明。议论文的开头一定要开门见山，让读者一下子就知道你要说什么。尤 其不应该和阅读你文章的那些疲惫的人兜圈子。

● 使用一定的表现手法，使开篇富有文采。申请论文的开头，可以运用修辞手法， 如比喻、引用、设问、排比等，使其焕发出夺目的光彩。

写好一个精彩的开头，请参考以下建议：

● 引用名言名句。很多名人在某个时期、某个场合说过著名的或有趣的话。不妨找 到一两句放在你文章的开头段里，用以引出论点或者奠定文章的基调。

● 写一段趣闻。申请论文多取材于你的日常生活的片段，这样就可以在文章的开头 先讲一个故事，然后再由故事引出论点，并将开篇讲述的故事作为全文议论的依

13 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

据。这种方法的好处是既可以使文章说理有据、议论有本，还可以使文章就事说 理，针对性很强，进而增强文章的说服力。

● 采用提问的方式开篇。在文章开头采用问句形式，就展开的主题提出自己的疑问， 然后再在回答问题中提出自己的观点。申请论文采用设问开头，不仅能引起读者 的注意，启发读者思考，还能在自问自答中自然亮出全文的中心论点，真可谓水 到渠成。但你使用这种开头，请务必保证接下来能够准确完整地回答这个问题， 否则你的文章就是个大问题了。

● 开头对下文有所提示。如果你对文章主体论述部分很自信的话，请采用这种形式 开始你的文章。

● 不要写成单纯的自我介绍式开头。避免使用“My name is…”、“I am…”等。

3.2 好结尾

一篇好的作文要做到“凤头”、“猪肚”、“豹尾”。申请论文也不例外。文章已经有了 好的开头和精彩的论述，到了结尾的时候绝不能松懈，一定要记住往往“行百里者半九 十”，做文章亦是如此。在构思申请文结尾的时候请参考以下建议：

简短有力。经过主体部分的论述，主题已经非常明确，结尾段一定要简短有力， 真正起到“画龙点睛”的作用。

要解答文章开头以及主体部分提出的任何悬念和问题。如果你写的是一个故事， 那这时候一定要解释故事的结尾。

要水到渠成。只有经过缜密的论述才可以得出结论，因此结尾没必要用明显的提 示词，诸如“To draw a conclusion”、“Finally”等。

不要重复已经写过的内容。很多情况下“首尾呼应”会使文章显得结构连贯紧凑， 给读者一个文章整体感很强的印象。但是“首尾呼应”并不是说机械地重复文章 的开头或者重复已经阐明的主题。

3.3 透过经历寻找意义

以通用申请表第一个命题为例(请参见本书“论文题目辨析”章节)。仔细阅读命题 后你会发现，要求你“evaluate”一段经历，“evaluate”的意思是“对…进行评价；判 断(或决定)…的意义(或价值、性质)”，并没有让你对这段经历进行描述(describe)或者概 括(summarize)。当然在文章中对经历的适当描述和概括是必要的，但是文章的核心是让 你对经历进行深入的思考，并讨论这段经历在你成长的过程中是如何影响你的。

14 第 2 部分 申请论文的写作

3.4 生活无小事，用心去感知

大部分作文辅导书和写作指导老师都主张，写申请作文时，应选择一些“不同寻常” 的事情，但是大部分十七八岁的高中在读生经历很相似，经历过“不同寻常”的事情的 人所占比例不会很多。如果大部分人都经历过诸如“自己最要好的朋友发生车祸”、“受 邀参加奥巴马就职典礼”的事情，那人们的生活可真的不是一般的“丰富”了。因此， 就大多数申请者而言，从自己日常生活中的“小事”中挖掘不平凡的意义才是应对问题 的最好方法。让自己经常保持思考，锻炼自己透过事物表面深入分析的能力。仍然以《通 用申请表》第一个问题为例，其中的“significant”一词足以让一些学生抓耳挠腮，因为 在他们心里，想象不出过去的这十七八年里(即使对呱呱坠地开始后的经历都有印象)真 正出现过什么“具有重大意义”的经历。其实这种观点是错误的，即使你的生活真的如 你想象的那样“单调”、“平淡”，你仍然有对于你来讲“具有重大意义”的经历。回想一 下你第一次做饭的经历、第一次你自己乘飞机的经历、第一次和父母发生争执的经历。 南加利福尼亚大学招生办公室主任约瑟夫·艾伦在谈有关申请文章时说：“你的申请短文 应让读者全面了解你和你的想法。你不需要在短文中讨论核战争和影响你一生的大事， 发生在日常生活中的小事更能表现出真实的自我，以及什么是我们生活的能力。”生活中 不缺乏“有意义”的事情，可能你缺乏的仅仅是发现意义的眼睛和一瞬间的思考。

3.5 明确目的，展示个性、品质

在写文章时，一定要时刻明确，我们反复强调的一个问题“学校为什么让你写申请 作文？”当然，他们需要知道你有最基本的写作能力，可以应付大学里大大小小的写作 任务。但是，他们更重要的目的是可以更深入地了解你，了解你的个性、品质、优点、 学术能力、人生观、价值观等。这是整个申请材料中唯一一个给你展现个性、体现你价 值观的部分。考官希望从中发掘信息，表明你适合该学校。他们更希望看到文章传递出 来你的领袖特质、团队精神、谦恭的态度及自省的能力。

3.6 不要写成“个人简历”的翻版

很多申请者在写作时容易犯的一个错误就是，尽可能多的将自己的成就、活动经历、 工作经历罗列在申请作文里。这样的文章往往单调、乏味、让人不知所云。在申请材料 中有专门供你填写详细个人简历的部分，因此不要在申请文章中重复简历中已经很详细 的信息，写应该写的内容，让它发挥应该发挥的作用。

成功的申请文章应该讲述一段经历或一个人物，并且有一个明确的观点，并且通过 精心挑选的细节支撑论点。文章应该揭示你的个性。写一段难忘的经历，并对其进行深 入的思考和探讨，这比你罗列一大堆获奖经历传递出来的信息有价值得多。请用成绩和 班级排名向学校证明你是一个聪明的学生，用申请文章传递你是一个善于思考、思想成

15 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

熟、很具深度的人。

3.7 不要过分吹嘘自己

招生人员应经读过无数以“你的成就”为主题的文章，看到许多“获得学习优秀奖”、 “打破运动会记录”、“获得年度校际篮球赛冠军”的经历。以这些积极向上的经历为主 题固然是一个好的构思，这种文章的整体语气是很关键的。不要让读者感觉作者是一个 “牛皮匠”或者“自命不凡”的人。诸如“如果没有我，恐怕我们队就不能……”的语 句最好不要出现在文中，容易让读者产生不好的判断。没有哪个学校希望招收到的学生 是一个傲慢、自命不凡的牛皮匠。好的申请文章往往语气谦恭，主题一般都是作者谦虚 大度，并具有团队精神的。

3.8 不要“过度”幽默

申请文章观点成熟、具有深度是很重要的。但是如果在文章中恰当地使用一些修辞， 比如隐喻，合理地插入一个笑话，或者以自己与生俱来的幽默方式行文，都会使文章读 起来不会特别沉重，并且可以吸引读者。这也是为什么很多作者追求“幽默”的写作风 格的主要原因。但是“幽默”也要恰当有度，如果文章中充斥与主题关联不大的笑话、 歇后语，很可能让读者反感。纽约大学招生服务与计划副教务长理查德·阿维塔拜尔曾 指出，“写申请短文时，要反映真实的自己。如果你平时不滑稽，文章中就不要故作滑稽。 说明自己是谁，充分展现自我。”

同时，追求幽默绝对不能影响文章的主旨。文章的基本任务是完成命题要求，生动 全面地回答题目的问题，幽默化地表述只是可以选择的手段，切不可本末倒置。

3.9 反复检查语法拼写错误

在写初稿时，每个人都会有或多或少的语法或者拼写错误。因为初稿中大家的注意 力都集中在文章的内容上。但是如果在定稿中出现诸如时态、单复数等低级错误，那么 考官很可能将你判断为连最基本的语法水平都不具备。

写完文章后，你应当反复阅读，睁大眼睛为自己挑错，重点检查使用的动词、时态、 名词代词单复数、句子主谓结构是否完整。另外不要过分依赖文字编辑软件的拼写检查 功能，有些单词拼写正确，错误检查系统也不会识别，但是在文章中可能就是错误的。 比如，“He took care off me”，拼写检查系统可能就不会告诉你“off”有问题。

16

第 3 部分

申请文实例

现在，你已经了解了如何理解申请作文的命题、寻找论述主题以及构思创作文章的 一些方法及技巧。接下来的一部分中，选录了一些近年来美国大学入学申请实例文章以 供大家参考。

本部分文章全部由成功申请者创作。文章风格各异、题材多样，旨在让大家更形象 地体会美国大学本科申请文章。同时，虽然这些文章都是申请者申请时的原作，但并不 是“无懈可击”。申请文不同于 SAT、IELTS 等标准化考试作文有评分标准，希望大家 采取“欣赏”和“批判”的态度参阅。部分文章中的学校或者作者姓名已经被删减或更 改，但不会影响文章整体结构。

一、课外活动短文

文章 1

"Wildlife Conservation? Are you sure you want to create such a clichéd club?"John exclaimed in astonishment. "It’s classic, not clichéd." I replied with assurance, "Wait and see".

The discussion with John, now the club vice president, vibrated in my mind while I was delivering a presentation in the first club meeting. Faint light from the projector reflected on the audience, whose frigid and apathetic faces exuded boredom. Slides started going, condensing my thoughts into indubitable evidence of defenseless wildlife’s suffering: Puny cubs whining plaintively beside their mother’s shot dead body; homeless birds hovering above the lost habitat; dead fish bodies floating on the black

美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

oily sea…

Faint light kept glistening on the audience, whose faces had been softened with concerns and affections. Thinking of Albert Schweitzer, the pioneer in promoting reverence for every species, I made my closing remarks: "In order to truly embrace every species, let’s start with ourselves."

“野生动物保护？你确定你想建立这么老掉牙的组织？”约翰惊讶地大声吼道。我 肯定地回答道：“是经典，不是老掉牙。”

在第一次俱乐部会上我做陈述的时候，与约翰(现在俱乐部的副主席)的这段对话一 直回荡在我的脑间。投影仪发出昏暗的灯光反射到听众的脸上。他们那毫无表情的脸透 露出对这个话题的厌烦。幻灯片开始播放，播放了当前未受保护的野生动物的困境：弱 小的幼仔在被射杀的母亲的尸体旁发出哀怨的声音；无家可归的鸟儿在已经失去的家园 上空盘旋；浮着黑色油污的海面上漂浮着死鱼。

暗暗的灯光一直照在听众的脸上，这时他们的表情已经缓和，表现出了关切。Albert Schweitzer 是倡导尊重所有物种的先驱。在致闭幕词的时候，我想起了他，我说道：“为 了真正保护所有的物种，让我们从自身做起。”

文章 2

Prompt: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

"Let’s go to the other side of the hill, there must be more stuff waiting for cleaning!" I called on all the 51 members in of "Green Action Group" in a loud voice. Collecting garbage twice a week on local hills is our convention, which was initially raised by our geography teacher an environmental zealot. Although being to retire soon, he was still passionate about encouraging us students to conduct diverse environmental actions on disparate landscaped areas, such as forests, lakes and hills, where our "GAG" later spent the whole weekends on.

The first time to collect garbage on the hill was unforgettable as it was actually not so easy as it sounded like, especially when you had to sought efficient ways to well organize the group work and as well take care of every member at the same time. But, somehow, I did not feel bored or exhausted at all. Climbing up and down with

18 第 3 部分 申请文实例 nimbleness and picking up plastic bags, empty bottles and every other litter brought us a piece of pure natural land without contamination as well as a sense of contentment and freshness. Viewing from the peak of the hill, however, we found this little green elevation we just created was surrounded by concrete forest of cities, trembling and cowering, which blew away all our satisfaction and pride.

From then on, members in "GAG" have virtually united into an environmentalists group. Saving water bottles, collecting signatures for environmental promotion and making school recycle bins, we begin our green actions from every trifle around us. Sharing the same ideology of environmentalism, we believe in Marshall McLuhan’s words: "There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew."

“走，我们到山的另一面去，那里一定还有很多东西需要清理。”我大声地招呼着“绿 色行动小组”所有的 51 位成员。每周两次到当地的山上清理垃圾是我们的固定工作。 这项工作是由我们的地理老师最先发起的。他是一个环保热爱者。 虽然即将退休，他仍 然热情地鼓励我们到各个地方进行各种环保行动，包括到森林里、湖边和山上。从此以 后，“小组”每周末都会到这些地方。

第一次到山上清理垃圾令人难忘。实际上，这项工作并不像听起来那么容易，你必 须在有效组织工作的同时，照顾好每一个成员。可是，对此我一点也不厌烦，也不感到 疲惫。在我们灵活地爬上爬下，在拾起塑料袋、空瓶子和其他所有的垃圾后，一片纯自 然、没有任何污染的土地又出现了。同时，我们产生了一种满足和清新的感觉。但是， 从山顶望去，我们发现，刚刚获得的这一小片绿地正被包围在混凝土铸成的城市群当中。 我们的心在颤抖，成功的喜悦和成就感顿时消失殆尽。

从此以后，“小组”的所有成员组成了一个真正的环保者团体。我们开始从我们身边 的每一件小事做起，回收矿泉水瓶、征集环保宣传签名、制作校园回收箱。怀着相同的 保护环境的信念，我们都坚信 Marshall McLuhan 的一句话：“在这艘地球飞船上，我们 都是船员，没有乘客。”

文章 3

30 Hour Famine

It was already midnight. Time for bed for many students, but my buddies and I were sleeping over at the school gym. We had not eaten anything since the beginning of the day. Twenty-four hours had past, six more to go. Despite the weird sound from our stomachs, none of us had complained about the hunger. Although sometimes I thought we could help the others through ways like donating, the famine provided me with a

19 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

chance to experience the daily life of starving African children. Compared with them, my hunger seemed so trivial. It was a pleasure to attend the "30 Hour Famine" hosted by the World Vision Club, and I was proud to be one of the 100,000 Canadian teenagers who participate in this event annually. If only my hunger will make the African poor children full, even for one day, it is all worth it.

30 小时禁食行动

已近午夜时分。很多学生都入睡了，但是我和我的朋友正在学校的体育馆里，从早 上到现在滴米未进。已经过去 24 个小时了，还有 6 个小时。虽然肚里发出奇怪的声音， 我们也没有一个人抱怨肚子饿。即使我有时认为可以通过类似捐款的方法帮助别人，这 次挨饿给了我一个机会，让自己可以体会非洲儿童每日饥肠辘辘的生活。与他们相比， 我的饥饿显得如此微不足道。参加这次由世界宣明会(the World Vision Club)组织的“30 小时禁食行动”我感到很高兴，而且为能够加入到 10 万名加拿大少年的队伍中每年参 加这个活动感到骄傲。假如我的禁食能够让非洲贫困儿童吃饱肚子，即使仅仅一天，一 切都是值得的。

文章 4

The best moment of my weekly hiking comes when I finally stand on the Peak of Grouse Mountain: the refreshing air blows my hair gently, the striking scenery of the entire west shore reveals right before me. It’s an enjoyment for me now, but back to my first visit, I was stumped. Almost dragged by my dad the whole way through, I felt it was the longest 2 hours in my life: I complained, I cried, I threw up, I rested every 5 minutes, I sworn to not come back. However, at the very end of the journey, everything changed: although exhausted, there’s a subtle taste of triumph and satisfaction. Ever since then, I have been driven to take the challenge again and again, because I know even though there is a tough journey waiting, there is pure joy at the end.

当站在格劳斯山山顶的时候，是我每周徒步旅行中最开心的时刻。清风拂过发丝， 西岸撼人的美景在我面前一览无余。现在，我感觉这是一种喜悦，可是在第一次来的时 候，我可是举步维艰。那次爬山的整个过程我基本上是被父亲拖着走的，那是我一生中 最长的两个小时。我一路抱怨、哭闹、呕吐，每过 5 分钟就歇一次，发誓再也不来了。 但是，那次旅程的最后，一切都变了：虽然已经筋疲力尽，我心中有一丝成就感和满足 感。从那时开始，我一次又一次地接受挑战，因为我知道前方旅途虽然并不平坦，但是 终点处会有纯粹的喜悦。

20 第 3 部分 申请文实例

文章 5

It was 6:00 in the afternoon. I was neither playing basketball with my buddies, nor enjoying a delicious meal at home. Instead, I was still working in the school wood workshop along with other members of the Handicraft Club. Girls’ laughers pervaded the room while discussing color of painting, John was cutting out wooden blocks from the wood pad. I was busy polishing the surface of wood block with a rough sanding paper. It was such a tenuous and accuracy-demanding job that I had to do it with full preoccupation in a crouching gesture. Soft beads of sweat soon started to collect on my back and forehead…

This scene happened everyday before last Christmas. We were making spinning tops to kids who were going to spend the holiday in Vancouver Children Hospital. The spinning tops were not just toys, but also messengers that convey our greetings and wishes along.

那是下午 6 点钟。我既没有和朋友一起打篮球，也没有在家享用美食。在学校的木 工房里，我正和手工艺俱乐部的其他成员一起干活。女孩们的笑声在屋里弥漫，我们正 在商量漆料的颜色，约翰正沿着木垫切削出木块。我正忙着用一块砂纸打磨木块表面。 这是一项要求精确的细活，我蜷着身子全神贯注地进行着。很快汗珠开始从我的后背和 额头上渗出。

这是去年圣诞节前的每一天都会发生的一幕。我们正在制作陀螺，准备送给将要在温 哥华儿童医院过节的孩子们。这些陀螺不仅仅是玩具，也是传达我们问候和祝福的信使。

文章 6

"For every piece of sushi our customer eats, an African child smiles in return" is the new advertising appeal I created for the UNICEF club, the best-selling lunch option on campus. It is our goal to expand its service and raise more funds. Together we designed banners and posters. I even wrote a song to motivate everyone at school.

One day an eighth-grader timidly approached me, "I don’t have enough, but I want to help UNICEF. Here’s all I have – a dollar." At that moment I truly felt that I had turned consumers’ need for good taste into a desire to help others.

That year our profit rose from the $3,000 to $5,000, one thousandth of UNICEF Canada’s $3,000,000 annual income. As the head of the club, I was gratified and grateful that our effort was paid off, not only in numbers, but also in students’ morale and spirit.

21 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

“顾客每吃一口寿司，非洲儿童就会报以一次微笑”。这是我为 UNCEF 俱乐部创作 的广告语。UNCEF 是校园里热卖午餐的俱乐部。我们的目标是扩大服务范围和筹集更多 的资金。我们一起设计标语和海报。我甚至写了一首歌来激发学校里所有人的积极性。

有一天，一个八年级的同学走近我，怯生生地说：“我的钱不够，但是我想为 UNCEF 出份力。我就有这么多——1 美元。”那个时刻，我真切地觉察到，我已经把顾客对食品 的需求转变成了帮助他人的渴望。

那一年，我们的利润从 3,000 美元上升到了 5,000 美元，相当于加拿大 UNICEF 年 收入 300 万美元的千分之一。作为俱乐部的领导，能看到我们的努力有了效果，我很欣 慰，不仅仅是因为钱的数目，还因为同学们的士气和精神。

二、挫折、挑战、成功

文章 7

An Award-winning Experience

I stood by the fireplace, staring silently at the reflection of my face in the golden surface of an oversized chalice on the mantel. The nose looked seriously distorted, and the head was stretched like a balloon. The eyes, which appeared to be slightly larger, looked back at me with an expression I could not decipher. Were they joyous or sad? Timid or confidant? Usually clear and cheerful, they suddenly lacked the maturity that years of leadership experience had given them. The Grade 11 Top Student trophy stood triumphantly on its plinth, but my reflection on its surface betrayed the uncertainty in my heart over this prestigious honor.

Getting this award to its place on the mantel was not easy. I don't just mean the year of studying it took to achieve it-that was difficult too-but also the process of carrying the giant, golden trophy from the school to my car. Intercepted constantly on my path by friends, teachers and miscellaneous students, I encountered genuine praise, friendly hugs, surprised stares, and envious remarks. Among the many good wishes and congratulations, which made my heart warm and fuzzy, I also heard a few disgruntled murmurs. "I didn't think she studied hard..."With a fixed smile, I thanked everyone mechanically, still swimming in a daydream. Of all the competing I.B. students in the school, it was I who had received the coveted trophy!

At the same time, the trophy weighed -heavily in my hands and on my heart. Waves of uncertainty washed over me as if trying to drown my self-confidence. Friendly jokes

22 第 3 部分 申请文实例 about teachers manipulating the system for their "favorite" student mingled with jealous murmurings about others being more deserving, these floating remarks clouded my mind with insecurity. But the doubts lasted only a moment. I knew how hard I had studied, and how far I had come. Jealousy did not do me justice, the award did.

I admit that my style does not conform to the stereotype of the hard-working I. B. student. Though I have glasses. I do not often wear them. The library is not my favorite hangout. I like to wear pretty jewelry and fashionable dresses. I invest my name in extracurricular activities, because I know that no one wants to see an exhausted face. I passed my driving test first time. Most importantly, I have many friends inside and outside of school, and I like having fun.

All this does not mean I neglect my academics. Indeed, in my positions of responsibility, the close scrutiny of peers and teachers pressures me to support my image with outstanding academic achievement like most of my I.B. friends, I pursue excellence, but I am aware that it is not the end of the world if I get 95% instead of 98%. I have pulled quite a few all-nighters' perfecting labs or assignments or studying for multiple tests. I have also had the pleasure of reading impenetrable textbooks over and over again or doing one math problem five times over just to grasp the basic concept. In addition, I had to develop more efficient study methods to compensate for the time I spent on extracurricular activities.

Looking deeply into my reflection, I journeyed back to grade 6, when I first stepped onto this unfamiliar land of Canada, an ocean away from my comfort zone. l spent countless nights crying because of my inability to memorize colloquial phrases or the names of American states. Then, I recalled the times that I was finally able to chat away happily with my Caucasian friends trading Chinese words for English expressions. Every challenge I encountered sowed a golden seed in my garden of growth; every new experience I went through watered my garden.

Still staring at my reflection in the trophy, I drew a deep breath; the self-doubt it had aroused faded and vanished. This trophy is the golden fruit of my hard work. It completes me, epitomizing the fully-rounded person I always aspired to be. I have come to recognize my abilities and believe in my potential. Whatever others may think or say, I know who I am, and I believe in myself.

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一次获奖经历

站在火堆前，我静静地看着壁炉架上酒杯的金色表面上映着的自己的脸。我的鼻子 看起来严重地扭曲了，而脑袋被拉长就像一个气球一样，我的眼睛看起来比正常情况下 大了一点，它们直勾勾地看着我，带着一种无法解读的信息。它们是开心呢，还是难过 呢？羞怯呢，还是雄心勃勃呢？这双平时清澈、充满爱意的眼睛突然失去了多年磨练所 赋予的成熟。那个我 11 年级时赢得的优等生奖杯依然耀武扬威地独立在它的底座上。 在它表面上反射着我的身影，这个身影泄露了我在这个荣誉下内心的茫然。

把这个奖杯放到壁炉架上不是件容易的事，这个不容易不单是因为为了得到这个奖 要在学习上付出巨大的努力(坦白地说，这个确实是很难)，同时也是因为要把这个硕大 的金光闪闪的奖杯从学校一路带到我的车上也不是件很容易的事，因为在路上经常被遇 到的朋友、老师和杂七杂八的同学打断，他们给了我真诚的赞美、友好的拥抱、惊奇的 注视和嫉妒的话语。众多的美好的祝贺使我心情激动并飘飘然，但我也听到很多不满的 声音，例如“我不觉得他学习很用功……”等。怀着复杂心情，我笑着并机械式地感谢 每个人。我还是有些神情恍惚，因为在学校所有为国际中学毕业会考课程竞争的学生中， 只有我获得了这个让人羡慕的奖杯!

这个奖杯在我手里感觉沉甸甸的，同时它在我的心里也是很有分量的。一股股茫然 的潮水涌向我，让我感觉自己的自信仿佛也沉溺其中。一些人开着友善的玩笑说，我得 奖是因为教师们暗箱操作，偏袒喜欢的学生。还有一些嫉妒的声音在说，其他人其实更 应该得这个奖。这些话语在我耳边漂浮，使我的心情阴云密布、毫无安全感。但这些疑 虑只持续了很短的时间。因为我知道我是多么用功才取得了学习上的巨大进步，所以对 我的嫉妒是不公正的，我得奖是理所应当的。

我承认，我的风格与传统参加国际中学毕业会考课程的刻苦读书的学生大相径庭。 尽管我近视，但我却很少戴眼镜。图书馆不是我最爱去的地方，我喜欢戴漂亮的珠宝首 饰、穿时髦的衣服，也频于参加各种课外活动，并一次性通过了驾照考试。我心里知道， 没有人想要常常看到一张精疲力竭的脸。最重要的是，我非常喜欢与校内外有很多朋友 一起开心地玩。

这一切并不意味着我忽略了我的学业。实际上，为了对自己负责，在仔细观察身边 同学和老师后，就像大部分参加国际中学毕业会考课程的学生们一样，我还是被迫要通 过出色的学习成绩来支持我的形象。我追求卓越，但不会因为只拿到 95 分而没有拿到 98 分，会觉得这个世界就要毁灭了一样。我为了完成实验、任务和各种考试的研究熬过 通宵，一遍又一遍地读过晦涩的课文；也为了掌握一个基本概念，把一道数学题做上五 遍。此外，我会总结出更加高效的学习方法来补偿我在课外活动上所花的时间。

我陷入深深的沉思之中，想起我六年级的时候，那时我刚刚踏上加拿大这片陌生的

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土地，从此与我熟悉的舒适环境远隔重洋。无数的夜里，我因为记不住口语短句和美国 所有州的名字而独自哭泣。我也记起了最终能和白种人朋友愉快地聊天，并互相交换着 中文和英文表达的愉悦。每次挑战都在成长的花园里都播下了一颗金色的种子，而每次 新鲜的经历都灌溉了我的花园。

目不转睛地盯着那个奖杯，回想着自己的经历，我不由得深吸了一口气。对自己的 怀疑也渐渐消退并最终消失。这个奖杯是我努力学习的成果，它使我的人生完整并使我 成为自己一直渴望成为的那种全面的人。不管其他人怎么想或怎么说，我知道我是谁， 我相信我自己，我认可自己的能力并相信自己的潜力。

文章 8

I always loved art; indeed, I'm an artist. I studied oil painting two years ago and pursued it until last summer. After finishing high school, and desiring more independence, I sought for a job during the summer. But, because of my age, I got nothing. So, that was when I decided to open my own business with my art.

At first, I did painting works for a friend who sold the products to an online storeowner. It was quite good because I had an assured job, of course earning less, but assured. Sometime after, my mother took some decoupage and painting classes, and we began selling our art to some friends. We felt it was better be independent and do our business.

Using Facebook and Blogger for promotion, I created a profile where people could see our art. It was really frustrating at the beginning because we didn't have any comments; I wondered if we had failed. Though things did not seem to work out, I decided to invest part of my high school savings on my business; I was confident I could make my little business grow with some new strategies.

I bought new products, used new techniques and added as much people as I could in my bio site. With the new introductions, people began asking about my art, and interested people began appearing. As the days passed, my business grew a lot, from nothing to a real microenterprise. This morning I delivered several products to a new costumer, who, seeing the quality of the work, asked me to make more products for her. Even a TV program invited my mom and me to show our project. This is the real proof of how our perseverance and effort built our own business.

I took serial challenges with my project, I handled them the best I could and I took advantage of opportunities to make it true. I want to expand my business to new

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campuses in pastries and canastas. That is my goal right now, but I need a good education to accomplish it. I am confident that the finance program at The College at Old Westbury will provide me the best tools for my business growing. With its curriculum focused in financial analysis and financial planning, I will learn how to manage my investments and profits in the best way. Also, I am willing to contribute my best qualities for the university, and I am committed to meeting the university's high standards. I am sure The College at Old Westbury's finance program will really help me accomplishing my educational and professional goals.

我一直很喜欢艺术，实际上我是一名艺术家。两年前我开始学习油画，直到去年夏 天才停下来。上完高中后，我渴望拥有更多的独立，所以在那个夏天我开始自己找工作， 但是由于年龄太小，我一无所获。从那时起我下定决心要去开创自己在艺术领域的事业。

刚开始的时候，我帮一位朋友画画，他会把成品卖给网店的店主。当时我感觉非常 棒，因为我有了一份真正的工作。当然赚的确实是不多，但是收入很稳定。在那之后不 久，我的妈妈参加了装饰和美术的课程。随后我们开始兜售自己的作品给一些朋友。我 和妈妈都觉得独立地去做一些业务比较好。

我在 Facebook 和 Blogger 这两个网站上创建了商品简介，作为我们的宣传手段，在 这里，人们可以浏览我们的作品。刚开始的时候情况很让人沮丧，因为我们没有得到任 何的网友评论。我甚至怀疑我们是否已经失败了。尽管事情似乎进展的不是很顺利，我 还是决定把我在高中期间攒的一部分钱投资到我的事业上。我相信在新的经营策略下， 虽然业务量现在比较少，但会持续不断地增长。

我购买了新的产品，采用新的技术，在网站上尽力增加足够多的好友。在更新了网 站的介绍页面之后，对我的艺术品产生兴趣的人开始出现，也开始有人向我进行询价。 日子一天一天地过去了，我的业务量增长了很多，真正实现了从一无所有成长为一个小 公司。今天早上，我把几件产品发给了一个新客户。当这个客户看到我产品的质量后， 她立即联系了我，要求多做些产品给她。我和妈妈甚至被邀请上了一档电视节目来介绍 我们的项目。这件事充分肯定了我们在发展事业上的坚持和所付出的努力。

在执行项目过程中，我碰到了一系列的挑战并尽自己最大的努力处理了这些问题。 这些机会在另一方面也使我有机会去让我的项目变得更加成功。我目前的计划是把点心 和纸牌的业务推广到其他学校里去。但是为了实现这个近期目标，我需要好好地学习新 知识。我相信，XX 学院的财务课程对我去提升业务会有很大的帮助。它可以使我能够以 最佳的方式来管理自己的投资和利润。我也愿意以我的能力为这所大学做出贡献。我会 坚定地按照学校的各项要求来规范自己。因此，毫无疑问，XX 学院的财务课程是我追求 学业和职业上发展的必然选择。

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文章 9

Prompt: Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?

"Piqué and arabesque. Hold! One, two and arabesque penchée!" The voice of my ballet teacher resounded in my ear. I was breathless and soaked with sweat, but I did not want to stop dancing on the floor. I was too in love with dance.

Ever since I first grabbed the bar and learned how to grand plié as a seven year old girl, I have been passionate about dance. Once I was able to enroll in the major class at my studio, I decided to dedicate my life and future career to dance. Six days out of the week, I devoted two hours to dance class and additional hours practicing at the studio once rehearsal was dismissed. My world revolved around dance and I thought it would never change.

Without warning, change did occur. My doctor diagnosed me with Achilles tendonitis and scoliosis and strongly recommended that I stop dancing. His bold suggestion worried my parents, who were already not supportive of my interest in dance. I, however, was willing to endure the pain so that I could continue. After hours of crying and arguing, I narrowly persuaded my parents to agree to a compromise in which I would take "a break" from dancing and instead focus on physical therapy and acupuncture.

I was helpless. Even though I insisted that I would recover and return to the dance studio, I could sense it was a crisis in my life as a dancer. However, this catastrophe later turned out to be a valuable opportunity for reflection. With my aspirations of dance crushed, I had to reevaluate my future and avoid falling into despair or complaining about my situation. Did I really want to dance for my rest of life? Was dance the thing I was truly passionate about or was it something that I felt obligated to continue? Once I started to look at dancing from different perspectives, I felt surprisingly free. In light of my new situation, other opportunities were revealed to me.

Following the summer of 2006, I chose the most appealing option, which was the prospect to go to America. I also quit dancing. It was shocking news for my friends and family and I was equally anxious about what my future would bring. However, I am now living in America, learning and experiencing things that I never even considered. My setback taught me that I should never be afraid of change or opportunity though it

27 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

might be difficult to break the pattern of my life. No matter what hardships I have to face in the future, I will not surrender to fear. I will take these unavoidable setbacks as chances to mature by remembering that change is an element of life.

“旋转，阿拉贝斯，保持姿势! 一，二，再来，阿拉贝斯，前倾”芭蕾老师的声 音回荡在我的耳畔。我已经浑身是汗，喘不上气了，但是我不想停止舞蹈，因为它是我 的最爱。

还是一个 7 岁大的小女孩时，我生平第一次抓住扶手，学习了如何做大蹲。从那时 起，我对舞蹈产生了极大的热情。当开始在舞蹈房里参加主要舞蹈课程的时候，我决定 把我的生命和将来的事业都贡献给舞蹈事业。我每周的六天里每天花两个小时参加舞蹈 课，在彩排结束后，我也会再花些时间进行额外的练习。我的生活时刻围绕着舞蹈旋转， 我当时认为这种情况不会改变。

毫无预示，一些转变悄然而至。医生诊断出我有跟腱炎和脊柱侧凸的病症，并强烈建 议我停止舞蹈。我的父母很久之前就不是很支持我跳舞，医生直白的建议让他们特别忧虑。 然而，我自己很愿意去忍受疼痛来继续舞蹈。在哭闹了几个小时之后，我稍微说服了父母。 我们达成了妥协，我答应他们停止舞蹈一段时间，把精力放在物理和针刺治疗上。

尽管坚称身体会恢复，然后重新回到舞蹈教室，我依然很无助，这是我的舞蹈生涯 中最大的危机。然而后来我想想这次浩劫也是我宝贵的一次经历。对舞蹈的渴望被粉碎 后，我不得不重新评估我的未来，避免绝望或抱怨。我是否真的想下半辈子一直这样跳 下去？我是不是真的对舞蹈很钟爱？我是不是有义务把它当成必须坚持下去的事业？当 我开始重新从不同的角度审视舞蹈时，我却意外地获得了自由的感觉。根据我目前的状 况，我早晚会寻找新的机会。

在接下来 2006 年的那个夏天，我做了最吸引我的一个选择，那就是前往美国。我 放弃了舞蹈，这对于我的朋友家人来说是足以让他们震惊的一个消息。对于未来，我也 同样的焦虑，但我现在生活在美国，学习和经历着我从未想过的知识和事情。我的挫折 告诉我不要害怕改变，尽管去改变固有的生活方式确实是很难的一件事。不论将来要面 对什么样的困难，我都不会恐惧投降，因为改变本身就是生活的一部分，所以我会把挫 折当成是自己走向成熟的机会。

文章 10

Prompt: Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?

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Lack of focus was a reoccurring theme in high school. My family had given up on trying to figure out what was causing my uninterested state and casually blamed my aloof attitude on hereditary factors. High school was replete with lax behavior and procrastination, and homework was easily put aside. My life was not a clear path paved with goals and motivation. In contrast, the path I saw ahead was foggy and unclear.

By a narrow margin, I was accepted to a state university and decided I would be more assertive in tackling my issues with focusing on academics. The realization that this was my second chance ignited a newfound motivation and hope was instilled. My grades, however, continued to wane and out of frustration I decided to see a psychiatrist. After numerous tests, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with Attention Deficit Disorder and began prescribing a stimulant, Adderall. Immediately I felt the effects, and my grades drastically improved. School became easy for me not because it made me more intelligent, but because I had a voracious appetite for learning.

Common side-effects of Adderall are irritation, lack of sleep, a suppressed appetite, and significant weight-loss. What drug companies rarely publicize, however, is the reality that one pill can alter one's way of living a normal life. With Adderall one is essentially forced to focus on each and every task at hand. My daily routines became obsessive and unnecessary. Along with the tremendous amount of focus, I felt a synthetic form of euphoria that created an aura of motivation that I was not used to. While I could manage to live with little sleep and minor irritation, my reliance on Adderall that slowly progressed was not something I was willing to accept for the sake of better grades.

While watching television during one of many sleepless nights, an unexpected answer to my ongoing problem with focus came into light. An infomercial starring a wide-eyed, energetic, exercise guru emphasized a point that I had been missing. A combination of exercise and mental strength could improve my focus. Being on the verge of hopelessness and seemingly out of any other options, I decided I would explore this method and directly confront my ongoing problem with Attention Deficit Disorder in a healthier manner.

Exercise became my life. I had a new desire to strengthen my will power and attempt to increase the time I could focus during lectures in college. The results were minimal and excruciatingly slow. Although I was on the brink of frustration and about to give up, I gathered enough will power to continue with my regimen. Finally, after four months of exercise and focusing programs I began to feel as if I had turned a new chapter in my life; one without the reliance on medication. My grades began to improve and the haze

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that once occupied the path of my life began to clear.

In a society obsessed with quick and easy solutions to everyday setbacks, I was once one of the many desperate people that searched for an effortless answer to all of my problems. Through overcoming this setback I've come to the conclusion that in most cases, ongoing problems require rehabilitation that is typically difficult and rigorous. Although the easier option is tempting, I have realized through this experience that most complex setbacks are to be dealt with intricate and long-term resolutions.

读高中的时候，我的精力就常常不能集中。父母不再努力查找我走神的原因，只会 偶尔把我的漫不经心归因于遗传因素。所以我整个高中的状态基本就是懒懒散散，拖拖 沓沓，家庭作业也随便丢在一边。我的生活没有目标，也没什么志向。相反，未来对我 来说既遥远又模糊。

我勉勉强强被一所州立大学录取，也信心满满决定解决这个问题并努力集中精力在 学术上。想到这就是我第二次机会，我突然有了动力，同时也有了希望。然而，我的成 绩却依然下滑。我备受打击，决定去看心理医生。经过无数测试之后，医生诊断结果为 注意力缺损障碍，并给我开了一种具有刺激性质的处方药——阿德拉尔。服药后，我很 快就感觉它的效果，我的成绩急剧上升。上学对我来说变得很容易，但并不是因为它把 我变得更智慧，而是我的学习欲望开始强烈。

阿尔德拉常见的副作用就是使人变得暴躁、失眠、食欲不振，并且体重下滑。但是， 药品公司很少公布给大众的信息是一个药片足以改变一个人正常的生活方式。吃过阿尔 德拉之后，人基本上就被强迫去把精力集中于手头的每一个任务，其他日常事务基本无 法顾及，其他事情也变得没有必要。随着强度的剧烈增强，我感觉到一种虚幻的愉悦， 它构建了一种让我不习惯的工作推动力。尽管我可以承受这种严重缺乏睡眠和经常发些 小脾气的生活，但仅仅为了更好的成绩，对阿德拉尔日益增强的依赖并不是我所愿意接 受的。

在一个无眠的夜里，我看着电视却意外发现一个能解决我长期以来注意力无法集中 的问题的方法。电视上一个睁大双眼、活力四射的健身教练主演的电视广告片强调了我 一直忽视的一点，那就是锻炼和意志的结合。它可以加强我的注意力。我已经濒临崩溃 且别无选择，所以决定我试试这个方法，用一种健康的方式来解决注意力缺乏障碍的问题。

从此体育锻炼成为了我生活一部分。我开始渴望加强我的意志力并试图延长我在学 校里集中注意力听课的时间，但成效甚微且过程极其痛苦漫长。屡经挫折，我几乎要放 弃，但还是聚集足够的意志力继续强化训练疗法。最后经过 4 个月的锻炼和注意力集中 训练，我开始感觉到我的人生翻开了新的一页。我成了一个不用依赖任何药物的人。我 的成绩开始进步，一度阻碍我前行的迷雾也散开了，我的未来之路变得清晰可见。

30 第 3 部分 申请文实例

在盲目追求快速简易解决日常问题的社会里，我曾经是众多绝望并追寻省力解决方 法的人中的一员。在克服自己的这个困难后，我得出结论，在大多数情况下，解决顽固 的问题是最为艰难和痛苦的。虽然见效快的方法十分诱人，但慢性的问题还是应该使用 综合且长期的解决方法。

文章 11

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

It all boils down to this. I am the last of the candidates to make my speech – to "sell" myself. Pacing around the back of my school hall, I desperately attempt to achieve a suitable eloquence as an all too familiar name resounds in the distance. "Please welcome C onto the stage!"

It's crunch time.

Quickly gathering the last shreds of my confidence, I take a deep breath and step onto the stage. The microphone weighs down my hand like a brick of responsibility and expectations. Slowly but surely, I open my mouth, and begin to deliver months of work in two, short-lived minutes.

It all started in the younger years of my secondary education. The cafeteria had just inducted a new product into their menus and I was dying for a taste. After a long queue, I had finally reached the counter; drooling with anticipation, I placed my order: "Sausage roll please!" I was handed a surprisingly plain-looking pastry. Casting my doubts aside, I promptly requested: "Ketchup please!" To my disdain, they did not have ketchup. I was rightfully enraged. Steadfast in my beliefs in the importance of adequate condiments with my food, I immediately brought the issue up with the Cafeteria Head. It is safe to say our school now serves ketchup.

Although infinitesimal, the change I made left me hungry for more. I marveled at the idea of being able to make a positive change – leaving my mark on a community that can be appreciated for decades to come. And as I grew, so did my ambition. Inevitably, I jumped at the opportunity when it was announced that the school was electing the new Student Council President.

Despite my enthusiasm, this was not an easy prospect. My competition was fierce to

31 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

say the least; The Deputy Head Boy, The Debating Captain, The Scholarship Award Winner, and then there was me – the ketchup boy with no outstanding credentials. It was clear that I was the underdog. However, I did possess one quality, which made me unique. This was my passion. The other candidates had already left their mark on the school; on the other hand, I had yet to, because this was what I had been waiting for, this was my opportunity. While Student Council President would be just another trophy among many for the other candidates, I knew without a doubt that would commit one hundred and ten percent to the position.

Nonetheless, the odds were stacked against me and my peers dismissed my ambition as hopeless and fanatical. I quickly became ambivalent towards my candidacy as doubts filled my head. For two grueling weeks, I battled with public and self doubt, aimlessly struggling to determine whether my pursuit was worth continuing. As I hit a breaking point, I recalled a quote from Rudyard Kipling's If, "if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you". I knew I couldn't give up that easily. Something deep down told me that if I would regret it for the rest of my life if I did.

With a newfound confidence, I mustered all of my strength and got to work. Armed with my homemade sandwich board and makeshift flag, I shamelessly paraded the school grounds while the other candidates relied on their established prestige. Soon, my persistence had paid off; I had gained large support from peers who only weeks ago were in doubt.

People still question the vast amount of time and energy I devoted to my campaign when the chance of success seemed indefinite. My response is always the same, "it's about the journey, not the destination". It was the experience of chasing a dream, overcoming obstacles and persevering against monumental odds that has changed my approach to life for the better. Assuming this potential leadership position has compelled me to aim higher, replacing my aloofness with a sense of purpose. What started out to be a simple two-minute speech has become a journey of self-realization.

Silence. The hum of the fluorescent lights.

The crowd erupts in ovation. I close my eyes and sweetly savor the sudden flood of applause. What, moments ago, was nervous anxiety, is now replaced by an embracing euphoria that I will never forget.

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Two weeks later, I found myself in the same position, except this time, I was introduced as the new Student Council President.

胜败在此一举。我是最后一个上台的——演讲“推销”自己。在礼堂的后面踱来踱 去，正在我拼命地找寻合适的演讲语气的时候，远处传来一个熟悉的名字，“下面欢迎 C 上台演讲！”

关键时刻到了。

迅速收拢尚存的自信，我深吸了一口气走上了演讲台。手中的麦克风像是一块充满 责任和期望的砖块。我开口了，语气缓慢而坚定，我开始了短短两分钟的演讲，讲述我 这几个月的工作。

一切从我上中学的时候说起。餐厅的菜单上新增了一种新的菜品，我很想品尝一下。 经过很长时间的排队等候，我终于到了柜台前，对于美味我已经垂涎欲滴。我开始点餐 “要香肠肉卷”，可是递给我的是一个品相很一般的油酥糕点。停止狐疑，我立即说道“番 茄酱”。让我很吃惊的是他们都没有番茄酱。我当然很愤怒，因为我坚信为食物提供足够 的调料品是非常重要的。于是我立即找餐厅主管反映了这个问题。可以肯定的是，现在 学校餐厅提供番茄酱。

虽然只是一件小事，但是这让我有了更多的期待。后来，我惊奇地发现，通过给社 区带来积极的变化，我就可以在社区留下美好的印象。随着我长大，我就更加有雄心壮 志。理所当然，在学校宣布要选出新的学生会主席的时候，我很欣然地去挑战了。

虽然我很有热情，这可不是一项简单的工作。简言之，竞争非常激烈。学生会副主 席、辩论队队长、奖学金获奖者，然后还有我——没有任何突出证书的那个番茄酱男孩 儿。很明显，我败局已定。

然而，有一点使我与众不同，那就是我的激情。其他候选人已经在学校留下了自己 的印记，可是我却没有。另外，我必须参加这次竞选，因为我为这次机会已经等了很久 了。当学生会主席对很多其他的选材者来说，只是众多奖品中的一项，但毫无疑问我自 己会为这个职位作出 110%的贡献。

即便如此，舆论对我不利，同伴说的竞选盲目且无望打击我的信心，很快，我满脑 子都是对自己参加这次竞选的怀疑。在痛苦的两周中，我跟舆论斗争，跟狐疑斗争，漫 无目的地思考我对目标的追求是否值得坚持下去。当我即将崩溃的时候，我想起了 Rudyard Kipling 说的一句话：“当所有人怀疑你的时候，你得相信你自己。”然后我知道了 我不能这么轻易地放弃，内心深处有声音告诉我，要是我放弃的话，我一辈子都会后悔。

33 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

重获自信，我集中了所有的力量开始忙活了。其他参选者仰仗他们已有的名气的时 候，我胳膊下夹着自制广告牌和简易棋子，厚着脸皮地在操场上游行。不久以后，我的 执着终于有了回报。我得到了两周前对我持怀疑态度的人们的支持。

人们仍然在质疑，我为什么会为毫无胜算的竞选投入大量的时间和精力。我的回答 一直是一样的。“重要的不是结果而是过程。”正是追求梦想、消除阻碍、坚韧不拔地应 对困难的经历使我的生活越来越好。假设这个潜在的职位使我有了更高的目标，冷漠被 理想所取代。两分钟简单的演讲就成了一段我的自省。

大厅里安静下来，只剩下荧光灯发出的嗡嗡声。

听众开始喝彩。我闭上眼睛，尽情地享受这突如其来的如潮掌声。刚才的胆怯现在 已经被我终生难忘的畅快感觉所取代。

两周后，站在相同的地方，我获得了学生会主席的职位。

文章 12

Eyes are drawn to the speck in the pool lane as it claws its way through the cold blue water, last to complete the lap. As it grasps the end of the pool, gasping for air, finished with its race, it looks around to the lanes beside it. It realizes that the others are not in those lanes anymore, that the others have already completed their race some time ago. As it climbs out of the pool, it looks at itself in the reflection of the water. It knows it must go back to the drawing board, that it must prepare once again for the next time it meets the water.

Prior to swimming, I had never experienced an activity that required such brute mental and physical strength. The pressure to beat the clock, to beat exhaustion, both mental and physical, especially for a seventh grader on a high school swimming team like I was at the time, was something I early on found almost unbearable. To survive in the pool each day was a struggle, with regimens filled with never-ending sets that totaled into the thousands in yards. That coupled with relentless swim meets, persistently testing my personal strength and resilience, made it even more difficult.

To swim on with the team required much more than physical strength; it also required mental strength. As one of the younger swimmers on the team, and one of the slower at the time, I found it hard to swim up to par with the others in the pool. Many times I questioned myself, as did many of those around me. I wondered whether this hard

34 第 3 部分 申请文实例 work was worth it, whether I could go on any further, whether I would improve and whether my hard work would go on noticed. But despite uncertainty hanging over, I continued forward. I knew I had to persevere, to prove to myself and to others that I had what it took to succeed. "Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat."

Serious progression in swimming would not happen overnight. It would have to happen slowly over time. I began to push myself, farther than I ever did before. I began to swim through the mental exhaustion, and personal dubiousness. Besides strengthening my mental capacity, I began to refine my swimming technique as I grew in level, and learn things I would never have learned if I abandoned the sport earlier on. Besides learning to swim competitively, which was my short-term goal, I also learned about leadership, and character from the others on the team.

Over time, my extra hours in the pool, and my push caught up with me, and I began to move up in rank with improving swim times. Over the years, I swam faster and faster, and earned position in more valued races. I earned respect from my swim mates and most of all, understanding of myself and my strengths along the way. Although I faced great opposition in the pool, and started from the very bottom, I struggled and climbed my way out to the top. Looking back, I feel pride knowing what I accomplished, and what barriers I swam through to get where I am now.

所有的眼球都被吸引到了泳道里的小点上，此时它正在冰冷蓝色的水中不断地开辟 自己前进的道路，直到完成整个比赛。当它抓到泳池的一边到达终点时，喘着粗气，它 环视了身边的整个泳池。此刻它意识到其他人已经完成比赛并且离开泳池有一会了。当 它爬出泳池时，望着自己在水中的倒影。它知道必须要回到起跳板上来为下一次入水做 准备。

在学游泳之前，我没有参加过像这样需要强壮身体和坚强意志的运动。那时，作为 高中七年级游泳队的一员，战胜时间；战胜身体和精神上的疲惫感，这些对我来说是不 可能的。我每天都要在泳池的生活里奋斗着。在强化训练课上充满了永无休止的超过上 千次的起跳准备，再加上不断地检验个人力量和恢复能力的入水训练，我的处境更加艰 难了。

要想赶上队里的其他队员需要的不只是体力，还需要头脑。作为队里年龄较小的队 员之一，并且是速度最慢的人之一，我觉得在泳池里追赶其他人是很困难的。许多次我 都像别人一样质疑自己的能力。我怀疑自己的努力是否值得，是否自己还能继续，是否 还能进步，是否我的努力会得到认可。尽管疑问笼罩在心头，我依然继续努力训练，因 为我知道必须用坚持来证明给自己和别人看我有取得成功的潜质。“困难并不总是预示 着失望或失败。”

35 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

要想在游泳上取得巨大飞跃并非一日之功。这个过程需要持续很久。我开始超越从 前，推动自己进步。我在游泳过程中战胜了精神上的疲倦，并消除了对自己的怀疑。结 果是不但自己的意志品质得到了锻炼，而且自己的游泳技巧也开始提升到新的水平。如 果当初放弃了游泳，我就不可能达到今天的水平。我现在的短期目标是达到与他人竞赛 的水平，除此之外，我也想变得与众不同。

随着时间的流逝，在泳池里额外训练花费的时间和前进的动力让我受益。随着比赛 次数的增多，我的排名也开始上升。几年之中，我游得越来越快，并且可以在重要的比 赛中取得名次了。慢慢的，我从队友那里开始赢得了尊重。在这整个过程中，我认为最 重要的是我不断地了解了自己及所具备的能力。尽管从零开始，我在泳池中遇到了很大 的困难，却仍然努力拼搏，最终达到了顶峰。回顾过去，我为自己所取得的成就和为此 所克服的苦难而感到无比荣耀。

文章 13

As soon as I put on my Domino Pizza’s hat, I heard a high-pitched sound, "Wendy, get two trays of 12 inch medium deep dish dough for me!" Still tying on an apron, I ran to the cooler with the hat lying crooked on my head.

After desperately searching for two minutes, I was relieved when a demanding voice trumpeted, "Wendy, pizzas are falling out, where are you?"

Running back to the front of the store with two empty hands, I grabbed the huge, heavy spatula and took out the pizza as slowly as I could, assuring not to drop it.

Just as I slid the pizza into the box, my manager’s monotonous B flat voice sounded, "Wendy, can’t you see all lines are on hold? Stay in the front counter."

As I rushed to the front counter and pressed Line One, I stuttered "Thank you for choosing Domino’s" and cautiously took the customer’s order. I blew a sigh of relief as I finished taking my second official order. However, my contentment was crushed when my manager looked at me with a disapproving look and said, "Wendy, how many times do I have to tell you, this order doesn’t belong to our area."

This was three years ago when I first started working at Domino Pizza. During that time, I was excluded from the "Domino’s family". Whenever it was busy in the store, nobody had the time to train me. Whenever the store slowed down, everyone would become socializing, and unwilling to "waste" any time on me. Feeling so depressed, I began to doubt about my working ability. Even so, I would always give it another shot, hoping that things would be better.

36 第 3 部分 申请文实例

However, things still remained-the clamor of noises did not attenuate. After a week there, I returned home feeling worthless. It seemed like I was capable of nothing. With all the cacophony of my co-workers’ complaints in my head, I felt cared to go back to work, thinking about quitting.

I went to school the next Monday when my friend Jenny detected my sadness and asked me to a hip-hop dance class.

The moment I stepped into the dance room, my eardrums were filled with sonorous music consisting of strong beats. I awkwardly tried to coordinate my body to move with the music when I noticed a girl smirking at me. I felt my face suddenly turned up ten degrees. However, I did not stop but forced myself to do all movements to the full extent. Looking at the clumsy body moving in the mirror, I smiled out of self-contentment. In the end, I could even start doing turns, side glides, harlem shakes, and crip walks, though not so perfectly.

I learnt from this experience that I could do anything well if I had nothing to fear and had a deeper understanding of the sentence "If you doubt yourself, then indeed you stand on shaky ground."

Then I returned to work with confidence and immersed myself totally into my work, oblivious of any complaint. Gradually, I could make pizzas faster and prettier; my co-workers stopped criticizing me, and my manager would only encourage me.

Three months later, I received my first raise; after another two months, I received the second. After several raises throughout the years, my manager said to me, "I can’t give you any more raises, you have the highest pay in all thirteen franchise stores already". I smiled.

Three years passed. With my Domino Pizza’s hat firmly on my head, I clocked in. While I constantly switched from making pizzas to taking phone calls and to handling the oven, I was also thinking about the big orders for tomorrow, and conjecturing a schedule for next week. Now, the store is filled with my voice, either calling out demands, or telling drivers to drive safe. Everyone in Domino Pizza likes me.

Throughout the years of work in Domino Pizza, I experienced the period of disappointment, doubt in the beginning and had almost quitted, but eventually I overcame all difficulties and made a success. I must thank Domino’s Pizza, which not only made me more confident, but also helped me get a glimpse of what life is truly like- as Robert Collier said, "You have to sow before you can reap; you have to give

37 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

before you can get."

当我戴上达美乐比萨饼店的帽子时，我听到一声高叫，“温迪，帮我拿两盘 12 寸中 号深碟面团。”围着围裙，帽子还软软地趴在头上的我跑向了冷库。

在匆忙地找了两分钟后，一个像喇叭一样命令的声音再次响起，“温迪，比萨快烤过 了，你在哪？”

两手空空，我又马上跑回到了商店的柜台。我抓起了又大又重的铲子，为了防止比 萨掉到地上，以最慢的速度把比萨取了出来。

刚把比萨放到盒子里，经理单调的像臭虫一样的声音进入了我的耳朵里，“温迪，你 没看到所有的电话线路都在等人接吗？到柜台那里待着。”

我随即冲到了前台并且按了一号线，结结巴巴地说：“谢谢选择达美乐比萨店。”并 且认真地记录了客户所点的比萨。当完成第二份正式订单后，我长出了一口气放松了下 来。然而我的满足感很快又被经理粉碎。他看着我一脸不以为然地说道，“温迪，我要告 诉你多少次，这个客人订的比萨，我们这没有。”

这是三年前我刚到这家比萨店工作时的情景。在那段时间里，我仿佛被排除在“达 美乐大家庭”之外一样。每当店里繁忙的时候，没有人有空来培训我。而当店里闲下来 的时候，每个人却又开始忙着互相交流，没有人愿意在我身上浪费时间。我开始感到压 抑，甚至开始怀疑自己的工作能力。虽然如此，我还是想再试一试，希望情况能变好。

然而，一切照旧——我耳边的大叫声从未削弱。一个星期后，我回到家里，感觉自 己一无是处，对社会没什么价值。同事刺耳的抱怨声总是在脑袋里回荡，我对这个工作 开始感到厌烦并且想要放弃了。

接下来的周一，我去了学校，我的朋友珍妮发现了我的悲伤，所以她邀请我一起去 上街舞课。

走进街舞教室的那一刻，我的耳膜里充满了轰轰的节奏感很强的音乐声。我蹩脚地 开始尝试让自己的身体动作与音乐协调上，这时我发现一个女孩在看着我傻笑。我感觉 自己脸上的温度立即升高了 10 度。然而，我并没有停下来，相反我强迫自己以最大幅 度去做所有的动作。看着镜子里自己笨拙的动作，我笑了起来，自我感觉良好。经过多 次训练后，我甚至可以做旋转、侧向滑步、哈莱姆摆动、小丑舞步这些动作，虽然还不 是很完美。

这次经历使我认识到，如果可以无所畏惧，自己其实可以完成任何事情，这也对“如 果你怀疑自己，那么你的立足点确实不稳固了”这句话的深层理解。

所以我怀着自信回到了工作岗位，全身心地投入其中并把所有的抱怨声抛在脑后。

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渐渐地，我可以更快更好地做比萨了，同事们也不再指责我，经理也开始鼓励我。

3 个月后，我第一次涨了工资，两个月后又涨了一次。在几年之中经过几次加薪之 后，经理对我说：“我不能再给你加工资了，你的工资在 13 家专营店里已经是最高的了。” 我笑了。

转眼 3 年过去了。我手里紧紧地攥着达美乐比萨店的帽子，打卡上班了。我每天的 工作总是不断地做比萨、接电话、用烤炉之间转换，但与此同时也开始想着第 2 天的大 订单并猜着下一周的计划。现在，我也敢大声地招呼别人工作和提醒送餐的司机小心开 车了，并且这个声音经常回荡在整个商店。达美乐比萨店的每个人现在都很喜欢我。

在达美乐比萨店工作的这些年中，我度过了那段几乎让我放弃的失望期和疑惑期， 也体验了克服困难，最终取得成功的感觉。我一定要谢谢这家商店，因为它不仅让我变 得更加自信，并且让我看到了生活的本来面目，就像罗伯特·柯里尔说的那样，“没有播 种就没有收获，没有付出也就没有回报。”

文章 14

I am an eraser. I extinguish mistakes and allow corrections. I erase the imperfections of myself because I am terrified of being flawed. Exactness affixes itself on me; teeth penetrate deeply into me, devouring my blunders, erasing them completely. This needs to be flawless thwarted my capability to let things go, a labyrinth I cannot find an end to. Although people say this is a virtuous trait, I find it as an affliction and a forte because it distances me from living a life without torturing myself over the imperfections of this world; but also my strength, permitting me to do finest work. But I kept asking myself, "Why am I like this?"

I am in my 3nd year at M High School and I was able to get here without much struggle. Becoming the first member to graduate high school and attend college in my family is a gift. I have always been a scholar since I was young; I always had an insatiable hunger for learning and engrossing myself in various subjects. As a result, I have always excelled in the world of academics and this was the greatest pride and joy for my parents. I offered honor to my family name, my sole purpose to propel myself further. My parents shared the same sentiment and assisted me in any way possible. Completing high school and attending a university is a must.

As each school year passed, it became increasingly difficult to keep an academic foothold. I felt like I was no longer on flat land, but on the edge of a cliff. I found myself in a trepid state. By the end of my junior and beginning of my senior year I have given

39 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

up nights to study vigorously for the two trials that will eventually become my future. In my attempts to successfully score high on those exams, I have failed. I have failed to meet my parents' standard; those terrifying glares that penetrated my core. Those fixed stares of my infuriated parents slowly and brutally attacked my confidence. They did not help to alleviate my shame. They tried to help me by adding supplementary and weekend classes to my schedule, scrounging up every penny to provide for my education. I understood their cause, but my dignity could not stand more. Those scores snickered and mocked at my every conceivable weakness and I gave in. My forte was no longer supporting me. My A's became B-'s and B+'s and mistakes ran ludicrously over my assignments. I became so frightened that I would no longer try. This deep abyss of depression grasped onto my life, and it was time for me to erase its existence.

I reflected on how and why I was in this state to begin with. I could not believe I had even considered giving up in my academics. Then I realized that there were two types of people in this world, those who realize and do nothing and those who confront and fix their mistakes. Some people do not resign themselves to what is handed to them and in an effort, correct their faults. That was me. I realize that if my grades did not meet my standards, I did not try hard enough, if my nights studying was not enough, I did not study hard enough. I was the protagonist in my own life instead of being an antagonist. My ambitions for college have been cultivated in this vision of always studying and advancing and any obstacle obstructing me must be defeated. I learned about resilience and about being steadfast in the face of adversity. I learned to be more diligent and now when I want something, I charge forward like an enraged ram, dashing until my ambitions are met. I know these qualities will help me excel in college as they have helped me arise triumphantly in my turbulent years.

我是一块橡皮擦，我能抹掉错误，允许对它们重新修正。我去除自身瑕疵，因为缺 陷令我恐惧。同时我要求自身平整，深深的刻痕证明了身上的瑕疵被彻底地去除。为了 具备这种能力，我需要保持完美无瑕，而且不断地进行迷宫一样永无止境的自我修正。 尽管人们说这是一个高尚的品质，但我觉得这个特长也是种苦恼，因为它让我只想着去 消除这个世界上的瑕疵，却没有别的生活。某种意义上这是对我的折磨。我的能力是让 自己尽量做到最好，但我禁不住问自己“我为什么要这样生活？”

我就读于 M 高中的三年级并且在学业的道路上没有太多的问题。能够成为家族里第 一个高中毕业并且升入大学的人，这对于家人来说是一份礼物。从小时候开始，我就具 备了学者气质。我全身心投入各个学科的学习并且对知识有着持续的渴望且从未满足， 结果是，我在学业上表现得十分出色，同时这也为父母带来了无比的荣耀和快乐，家族 的名誉因我而增光不少。我的目标只是想要不断取得学习上的进步，父母对此有着同样

40 第 3 部分 申请文实例

的想法并尽其所能来帮助我，所以完成高中学业，并进入一所大学对于我来说是必须要 做到的事情。

随着年级不断升高，要保持学业上的得心应手变得越来越难，这种感觉就像是面前 的平坦的大地慢慢地消失，最终变成了陡峭的山崖一样。我自己开始感到不安。上完高 二，升入高三之后，我熬夜苦读，为决定我未来命运的两门考试做准备。为了在这两门 考试中取得好成绩，我拼命学习，但结果是以失败告终。我辜负了父母的期望。别人愠 怒的目光刺入了我的心灵，而父母对我愤怒的凝视也残忍地掠去了我的自信。没有帮助 我消除耻辱感，相反他们尽其所能把每分钱都花在我的教育上，在我的计划里加上了更 多课外作业和周末的课程。我很理解这其中的原因，但自尊心却不能忍受。那些分数仿 佛在不断地嘲笑着我所有的缺点，最终我气馁了，我之前学习上的优势也不见了踪影。 我的分数从 A 变成了 B-和 B+，作业上也开始出现可笑的低级错误。对此，我很是恐慌， 学习也不再努力。我坠入了沮丧的深渊。是时候去消除这一切了。

我开始回想自己怎么会到达这样的地步的。我很难接受甚至想要放弃学业的这种想 法。经过思索，我意识到在这个世界上有两种人，一种是明明知道困难存在，但只会无 所事事，而另一种则会迎难而上去克服困难。面对突如其来的困难，有些人不会退缩而 是会尽力地克服它们。这就是我的观点。我想如果成绩不过关，说明我学习上努力得还 不够，如果彻夜苦读不足的话，说明我学习仍然不够刻苦。在自己的生命中我一向充当 正面人物而非反面角色。我要一直前进并且克服所有阻挠我的障碍。我上大学的决心就 是在这样的想法之下，不断地成长和强大。我明白了在逆境下要有韧性和坚强的性格。 我变得更加勤奋，现在如果想要得到什么，我会像一头愤怒的公羊一样不停地向目标奔 跑。困苦中所获得的这些品质让我成功地重新站了起来，所以我相信它们也一定会让自 己在大学里变得更加优秀。

文章 15

The turbulent water crashed the raft hardly in the downward torrent. A sharp turn almost upset the raft, but I was still shouting crazily and trying my best to keep balance. The weak raft, however, was finally beaten by the enormous nature, which harassed the raft constantly until it inverted in the water. "Let it go!" shouted the lifeguard on the shore to me, but I was still grasping a string of the raft by my right hand until my whole body was impacted horizontally, like a flying superman, waiting for a chance to get back to the raft. The torrent finally threw me onto the shore; the sharp rocks in the water had made scratches all over my body. The lifeguard couldn’t see my face clearly because of the blood on my face, but as he got closer, he saw that I was laughing…

Since I was young, I have always been interested in all kinds of challenges, which

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provide my parents a whole bunch of challenges, too! Being beaten badly by some senior students after I challenged them on debate, having a nail stabbed in my leg after I tried to show Australian students some Chinese Kung Fu on a bus, and falling badly after I sped too fast on a skateboard during my first time skating, I always get lots of awkwardly failed attempts. However, I never stop from taking challenges, because at least my cheeky tries have brought me something, sometimes. For example, I became the youngest member of my school debate team, I received a brave prize in an Australian hospital, and I became one of the best skaters in my school. I always get a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from those challenges.

Among all the indispensable challenges I took in my not-so-long life, soccer is undoubtedly my favorite. As a member of the school soccer team since grade 7, I spent much time and energy on soccer. My grade 7 soccer life was what people describe as "tragic" – carrying heavy bags for the coach before and after every single match, transferring coach’s messages to every single player, and playing on a match only during the "garbage time", I was the kind of guy who other people think should slapped himself, bit himself, and hided himself in the dirt; however, I, the insane sculler, enjoyed this "tragic" life! It was not only because I love soccer, but also because I was a freaky guy who liked to challenge himself to improve and stupefy other people’s eye balls out one day! So I engaged in my tragedy, and always tried my best at training and every precious chance I could play on a match.

In one year, I got huge promotion: from "garbage time guy" to qualified substitute, then to first team member, and finally to a unique defender of the team. During the XieHe international championship, I led the team to the top of the league! That’s when I became the captain of the team, and that’s also when I constantly felt pain from my back. One day during the training, I was suddenly attacked by the pain from back and fell on the ground. I was sent to a hospital and was told that my spine is longer and thinner than other people’s, a kind of developmental deformity, which means that I couldn’t play soccer anymore. Although I had begged my coach to let me play, I was only allowed to do light trainings. That was the first time I couldn’t laugh when I thought about soccer. The insane sculler, however, doesn’t like the taste of failure. I did lots of functional trainings and fitness conditionings in order to exercise my spine and to show all the people that I was still one of the best players in the team! A few months later, I was finally allowed to stand on the stage again, to express my talent, and to risk my life! My soccer career would go on…

Life is a constant challenge, because sometimes after you gain the fruit with long time

42 第 3 部分 申请文实例 hard-work, you can lose it in an irresistible moment. My family moved to Canada in September of 2009. Ocean way from my friends and my soccer team, I was just a rookie to the new school, new surroundings, and new country. Some people may feel frustrated, but for an "insane sculler", that’s just another exciting time to show! Winning the campaign of the vice-president of Student Counsel, getting the principle list certificate, eating breakfast with the principle as a reward of the academic achievement, I am embracing more and more challenges.

One passion, simple but overwhelming strong, has governed my life. It motives me to reach it regardless of hidden danger and physical barriers. What is this passion? I can’t really define it, but I can clearly tell myself that challenge is the air of my life. Just like what Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy." Without challenges, life will become colorless. I will always advance bravely, because I want to be the helmsman of my life!

汹涌的河水沿着急流向下凶猛地撞击着筏子。突然一个急转几乎把筏子掀翻，但是 我仍然疯狂地叫着，以最大的努力保持平衡。直到最终筏子倾翻在水里为止，大自然仍 不断地折磨着它。终究脆弱的筏子还是被强大的自然力量击败。“放手！”岸上的救生员 向我喊道，但是我希望有机会重新回到筏子上，所以我的右手仍然抓着筏子的一条绳子, 直到我的身体被冲成了水平方向，就像是在飞行的超人一样。但急流还是把我甩到了岸 上而水中锋利的岩石让我全身布满伤痕。当时因为我脸上有血，救生员无法看清我的表 情，直到他走近了才发现，原来我一直在笑……

因为年轻，我一直对各种挑战都很感兴趣，当然这些兴趣也给父母带来了一连串的 挑战! 我总是进行着许多令我蒙羞的失败尝试。例如，在与高年级学生的辩论中惨败、 在公车上给澳大利亚的学生们展示中国功夫时腿里扎进钉子、第一次滑滑板时由于速度 过快严重摔伤。然而，我从未放弃接受挑战，因为至少这些莽撞的尝试使我有时能够得 到一些东西。比如，我成了学校辩论组最年轻的成员，在澳大利亚的医院被颁发了勇气 奖，并成为学校里滑板玩得最棒的人之一。所以我总能从这些挑战里得到满足和成就感。

活到现在，在我进行过的所有不可或缺的挑战中，足球毫无疑问是我的最爱。从七 年级开始我就成了学校足球队的一员，所以我在足球上花了大量时间和精力。但我七年 级时的足球生活可以用人们通常说的“悲剧”来形容。每场比赛前后，我都要帮教练拿 着重重的装着东西的袋子，也要把教练的信息传达给每个队员，而且只能在垃圾时间才 能上场比赛。别人会认为我属于那种应该狠扇自己耳光、可以去死并躲到泥土中的那种 人。然而我这么“一个疯狂的小赛艇”很享受这种悲惨的生活。不只是因为我喜欢足球， 而且还由于我是一个喜欢激励自己进步，并且期望一天能让人瞠目结舌的那种年轻人。

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所以我全身心地投入我的悲惨生活，尽最大努力训练并珍惜每次上场比赛的机会。

在一年之中，我得到了巨大的提升：从“垃圾时间队员”到合格的替补，再到主力 阵容，最终我成了球队里一名出色的防守队员。在协和国际锦标赛里，我带领全队拿到 了冠军! 随后我当上了队长，也就是在那个时候我不断地感到后背疼痛。终于有一天， 在训练时我突然感到后背剧痛倒在了场地上。我被送到了医院，然后被告知我的脊柱比 正常人要长并且还要细。这是一种发育上的缺陷，同时也意味着我将不能再参加足球比 赛了。我哀求教练让我继续比赛但我只被允许进行简单训练。那是第一次当我想到足球 时都无法笑出来的时候，然而“疯狂的小赛艇”不喜欢失败的滋味。我为了锻炼脊柱做 了许多功能训练和调整，以向所有人展示我仍然是队里最棒的队员之一。几个月后，我 终于被允许再一次站到自己的舞台上来展示我的能力，并继续在我的人生之路冒险，而 我的足球生涯也将会继续……。

生活充满挑战，因为有时即使是靠长时间的努力得到的东西也会在某一刻不得不放 弃。在 2009 年 9 月，我的全家搬到了加拿大。从此与我的朋友们和我的足球队远隔重 洋。新的学校、新的环境、新的国家，对于这一切我还是个菜鸟。一些人可能会在这种 情况下感到沮丧，但对于“疯狂的小赛艇”来说，这一切只是另一个激动人心的演出时 间。在这里我赢得了学生会副主席的竞选，我也获得了校长名册奖，这是一个由于学习 成绩突出而可以与校长共进早餐的一个奖项。所以在这个新的环境中，我仍然可以在越 来越多的挑战中取胜。

一种虽然简单但无法抗拒的热情左右了我的生活。它促使我不顾潜在危险和身体上 的障碍不断追求着它。这种热情是什么？我实际上无法给出确切定义，但我却可以清楚 地告诉自己，挑战就是让我生存的空气。就像马丁·路德金说的，“对一个人最终衡量标 准不是看他在顺境中的表现，而是看他如何面对挑战和争议”一样，没有了挑战，生活 会变得单调不堪，所以我会一直勇敢地奔向前方，因为我想成为把握自己生命的舵手。

文章 16

"You can’t leave us! And there?! Those snobby rich kids will brainwash you", my B school friends urged me to stay. I came from the east: Downtown East side of Vancouver. From where I live now, a mere 2 minutes’ walk would bring me face to face to an area commonly known as "Canada's poorest postal code" and my school, B, is at the center of it all. When freshman year approached, two disparate roads split before me. Driven by curiosity, I left for a prestigious private school on the West of the city，

To say I disliked my new surrounding would an understatement. Since the moment I stepped onto its Mercedes-dealership-lookalike parking lot, I dreaded it. Why did I feel as foreign in French, which I’ve come to known for a good 4 years, as I did in Spanish

44 第 3 部分 申请文实例 and Japanese, both of which were new to me? Why do I keep failing to strike a perfect hit in volleyball unlike the other girls? The confidence that had once surfeited me in public school slowly fleeted: both in class and on the court. I was crushed by the competition.

The more I failed, the more I thirsted for a comeback. I thought, I could either make it through the year, unnoticed and unsatisfied or I could push myself and make this experience, for which I had left behind everything, worthwhile. I wasn’t going to let my friends, even jocularly, attribute my inferiority to my East side origin anymore. The only magic formula was to make up in hard work what I lacked in prerequisite. The long emails full of questions on intricate French grammar and the lonesome hours spent running around the track paid off. I ended my junior soccer season with aplomb, respect from teammates and trepidation from opponents and aced final exams with flying colors. I had done it. That summer I stood in that same parking lot, but different in every way.

Amidst it all, never would I’ve expected private school to open my eyes and make me see ever more clearly the huge differences between the East and West side of the city. In participating in activities so creative, experiencing school spirit so strong and student involvement so enthusiastic, and connecting with resources so diverse, I saw private school in a different light. Dragged out of the limited hole from which I had always viewed the colossal world, I dreamed about a vague calling to sum up all the goods in a bag and take them back to where they’re in dire need, B.

It was that same summer when two roads split before me again. But this time I listened to no one but myself. I left as swiftly as I had come. Against the obstinate will of my parents, I followed my inner voice back to that familiar neighbourhood: the one which, though I had physically abandoned, had never left my heart. That September, I returned triumphantly. I felt invincible. Like an adventurist who just conquered Mount Everest, an explorer who bared new experiences and a pirate who discovered hidden treasures, I was dying to show everyone the new me and a piece of the cake from the ‘nice side’. I had it all planned out: I would enter the International Baccalaureate, resume my roles in school clubs and athletics, and in senior year, assume the most powerful position in school; I would become student council president. Nothing could stop me.

Yet the road at public school wasn’t as smooth as I had imagined. The confidence which I had so proudly owned would eventually bring about my downfall. Oblivious to

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having caught the ‘pompous contagion’, I became restless and blamed the demeaned environment for all my ills. Drowning in burgeoning haughtiness, I grew increasingly dissatisfied with the school. Impudent, explosive and even formidable: I despised and paid bare respect to school authority. Came March, a letter of rejection into the International Baccalaureate program from those same teachers whom I’ve treated with indignity shook me to my senses. But it was all too late. The ‘plan’ fell apart like a house of cards. I had blown it.

Debilitated in mind and physique, I embroiled my lone self in ineffable frustration, stress and anger. I hated myself for coming back to this denigrated place. But the damages had been done; there wasn’t "a blast in the past" button I could’ve pressed. Having come so far, letting a temporarily disillusioned state of mind ruin everything I had worked so hard for wasn’t an option. Simple gestures illuminated my determination to change: I arrived early for classes, kept my cellphone turned off, ceased talking back to teachers, and learned to truly appreciate them. The world slowly became colourful again as the long lost smile returned to my face.

When elections came in senior year, I was ecstatic. The time had finally come and my mentality was on full ‘in it to win it’ mode. Dedicated, passionate, and experienced, I was fully convinced of victory. But life seemed to love throwing unexpected curveballs my way. I got hit right in the face, again. Though devastated to have lost what felt like an already-won battle, giving up would be forsaking the ideals which inspired my return. So I sought after an alternative method. With help from friends and supporters, I founded a community based student government which committed to engaging youth from the Britannia neighbourhood in activities and policy making. Hot dog day, Battle of the Bands, Movies under the Stars: this council became the centre stage upon which I have had and will continue to pursue my visions.

Adversity introduced me to myself. Challenge after challenge, I’ve come to vaguely make out this irrepressible passion springing within me. It ruthlessly beats me to the ground then tells me to get up and quit being a little girl. Without it, life would be easy, but colorless. The other day I woke up to a beautiful sunny morning, attended a funeral then bought honey at honeyfarm. Sweet, bitter, sweet: this is the taste of my life.

“喂，别离开我们？那些势力的富孩子会给你洗脑的。”我那些在 B 学校的朋友们努 力想把我留下来。我来自东方，温哥华市区东面。从我现在住的地方走路的话，仅仅用 两分钟就可到达众所周知的“加拿大贫民地区”。我上的学校，B 学校, 就在这一区域的 中心。新学年将要来临，我面前出现一个岔道口，通向两个不同方向。出于好奇，我选

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择了西部一所著名的私立学校。

如果说我不喜欢新环境，那是不负责任的。我一踏进这里气派的停车场，以为到了 奔驰汽车经销店呢，顿时心生畏惧。从接触法语到现在已经 4 年了，为什么我还觉得它 是一门外语呢？同样，为什么我对西班牙语和日语还是陌生的？为什么我不能像其他女 孩子一样在排球场上打出漂亮一击呢？无论是在教室里还是在运动场上，我曾经在公立 学校的大量自信慢慢地消失了。我被竞争击垮了。

失败得越多，我越想回到原来的学校。我要么在孤独和不满中坚持到年底，要么就 努力，让这段经历的价值抵得上我为此放弃的一切。我决不能让朋友说我的自卑都源于 市东边，就是他们开玩笑也不行。唯一奏效的方法就是通过努力让我补上我以前的不足。 写长长的电邮请教复杂的法语语法问题，在没人的时候围着操场跑步，经过这些努力， 我终于得到了回报。在高二足球赛季中，我表现沉稳，获得了队友的尊重和对手的敬畏。 在期末考试中，我取得了各门的高分成绩。我终于做到了，那一年的夏天，我站在同一 个停车场上，但感受完全不一样了。

没有这些经历，我绝不会预想到私立学校还能让我开阔眼界，让我清晰地看到城市 东部和西部的巨大差别。参加更加有创造性的活动，感受强大的学校精神和体会学生参 与的热情，并且跟各种资源接触，我看到的私人学校是不同的。感觉被从井底拉出来一 样，在井底我只能看到一小片天空。模模糊糊，我有一个梦想就是把我所有的收获都放 到一个包里，然后把他们送到最需要的地方，B 学校。

还是在夏天，又有两条路出现在我的面前。但这一次我没有听别人的意见，而是自 己做了决定。匆匆地，我走了，正如我匆匆地来到这里。我的决定违背了父母强烈的意 愿。向着我内心的召唤，我回到了熟悉的环境，那个我在现实中曾经抛弃却从未在心里 忘记的环境。当年 9 月，我胜利回归，就像一个刚刚征服了珠穆朗玛峰的冒险者、一个 有了新鲜经历的探索家、一个发现掩藏着珍宝的海盗一样，我觉得自己非常出众。我渴 望向大家展示现在的我，让他们看看我最好的一面。我为将来生活的各方面做了计划： 我会进入国际学士学位计划，在俱乐部担任重要职务，在体育场有优秀表现，在高三的 时候会当上学生会主席。我将所向披靡。

但是上公共学校没有我想象中的那么容易。我的自信最终会导致我的失败。很显然， 我已经患上了“自负症”。我变得很焦躁，并且把我所有的问题归咎于这个低级的环境。 我变得对学校越来越不满。我变得自大、冲动甚至暴戾，轻视甚至毫不尊重学校领导和 老师。三月份的时候，我从我曾经傲慢对待的老师那里收到了国际学士学位计划的拒绝 信。这封信让我清醒了，但为时已晚，空中楼阁一般的计划落空了，是我自己搞砸的。

我身心疲惫，陷入了难以形容的沮丧、压力和气愤当中。我恨自己决定回到了这个 破地方。但事已至此，也没有后悔药可买。已经经历了那么多，我意识到，让暂时的昏

47 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

头毁掉一切努力获得的东西可不是明智的选择。从一点一滴入手，我开始改变：很早就 到教室，上课时手机关机，也不再跟老师顶嘴，知道从心里尊敬他们。慢慢地，生活再 次变得丰富多彩起来，久违的笑容再次浮现在我的脸上。

高三时候的学生会主席选举开始了，我欣喜若狂。终于来了，我心理处于“必胜” 状态。具有奉献精神，充满热情并且经验丰富，我确信自己一定会取得胜利。但是，命 运似乎总要向我发动难以预料的袭击，再一次正中我的要害。虽然，阴沟里翻船让我几 近崩溃，但是这时候放弃将意味着否定我回来的决定。所以我找到了另外一个证明自己 的方法。在朋友和支持者的帮助下，我创立了一个基于社区的学生组织，旨在组织 Britannia 地区年轻人参加各种活动和参与各种计划的制定。组织过热狗节、乐队狂欢节、 星空电影节，我创建的这个组织已经并且将一直成为我追逐梦想的舞台。

逆境让我重新认识了自己。经历了不断的挑战，我仿佛已经觉察到，心中的热情无 法压制，已经在我体内横冲直撞。它无情地将我击倒，然后又告诉我不要做小女生，叫 我站起来，要站起来。如果没有它，生活将很平静，但会很单调。在一个阳光明媚的早 上，我睁开了眼睛，然后参加了一个葬礼，接着又到蜂场买来了蜂蜜。甜蜜的，酸苦的， 然后再甜蜜的：这就是我生命的滋味。

三、多元文化、适应环境

文章 17

Prompt: We want to know about a cultural difference-good or bad- and what you learned from it.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted him mouthing something to me from across the classroom while the teacher lectured our sophomore class. I can still visualize his cocky grin and the contemptuous look in his eyes as his lips formed the word that was hurled at me: Communist. I immediately looked away in alarm. My heart lurched. My cheeks flushed and I averted my eyes, furrowing my brow in confusion and anger. How dare he crudely dub me based solely on the knowledge of my Russian heritage!

I realized he did not know the first things about me: my values, ideas, intentions, dreams, passions, or quirks, let alone my family's story, none of which can be discovered by scrutinizing my strange last name. He tried to reduce my diverse identity to my nationality, a nationality still somewhat foreign even to me. It would be silly to take his comment, a lonely mark of ignorance, seriously. However, his behavior struck me: I wondered how many times I myself hastily jumped to conclusions regarding

48 第 3 部分 申请文实例 someone else, based on a superficial quality.

I had always deemed myself to be open-minded, having been immersed in the multicultural hotbed of Los Angeles, experienced the eclectic Northwest, the homely Midwest, and North Carolina's "New South", having attended three types of churches often: the Russian Orthodox, an all-Spanish Speaking temple where I joined my friends, and even Buddhist meetings, having attended three separate high schools with unique student bodies, and also having founded a political club in the hopes of better understanding the opposing ideas that students may possess. Could I ever have fallen prey to the same type of ignorance?

There have been times when I immediately overlooked something because it may not have appealed to me. I realized I too was guilty of this hasty ignorance: there have been times when I overlooked an idea that did not appeal to me, when I made quick and direct assumptions about people that later proved to be false, or when I confined myself to the familiarity of a group of friends.

It dawned on me: We were all adolescents striving to fit in, often suppressing and repelling any notion of difference, and building networks immediately based, most likely, upon superficial qualities. We must learn not to be inclined to do this. The curse of ignorance is a temptation to wallow in the comfortable, associating solely with those that we perceive to be like us. We were eager to identify, label, and categorize what is otherwise a very confusing world.

Ignorance stems from a lack of knowledge of intentions, true meanings, or wisdom of deeper meanings. Ideally, we all chip away at our ignorance as we grow older, attaining knowledge and perspectives of others': their ideas, stories, viewpoints and separate experiences. Overcoming ignorance takes time, patience, and a strong will to be ready to surrender comfortable prejudices and beliefs and is absolutely necessary if we intend to live, communicate, and cooperate in harmony.

I trust the university's incredible diversity to push me further to shedding old ways of thinking by nurturing my growing inclination to digging deeper and asking questions and continuing to build what will be the most important quality to have: tolerance.

我正在上高二年级老师的课，突然从眼角注意到他在教室另一边，正做着口形对我 说着什么。我现在仍然能想到他那时高傲的狞笑和不屑的眼神，以及他做出口形并把那 个单词向我猛砸过来的情景。他说的是单词是“共产主义者”，我意识到后立即机警地把 目光移开。我开始闪躲着他的目光，心情一片混乱，疑惑和愤怒地皱起眉毛并且感到脸

49 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

红起来。他怎么能只是因为我是俄罗斯人就粗鲁地给我起绰号？

我想到他对我的价值观、观念、意图、梦想、喜好和癖好这些基本的东西都不了解， 更不要说那些家族故事了，这些故事可不是单看看我奇怪的姓氏就能了解的。他只是把 我所有的身份全部归结到我所属的民族上，其实对于我的民族我也不是特别了解。如果 去相信他充满着自恋和无知的言辞，那实在是太愚蠢了。但他的行为让我震惊：我很想 知道，我自己有多少次只是通过表面的一些东西就匆忙地对其他人下结论。

我一向认为自己沉浸在洛杉矶这个聚集了多种文化大温床中，思想很开放，接触着 中庸的西北区人民，纯朴的中西部人和北卡罗莱纳的新南方人。我经常参加三种不同的 教堂：俄国的东正教教堂，只说西班牙语的朋友们参加的庙宇，甚至还有佛教的集会。我 也以独特的学生身份进入了三所不同的高中。为了更好地了解学生可能持有的不同见解， 我还建立了一个政治俱乐部。我怎么可以变得和我那个给人起绰号的同学一样无知？

有些时候如果某个东西不是很吸引我的话，我会立即把它忽视。我意识到，这种草 率的无知毛病也是我经常会犯的。例如很多时候当遇到一个不够吸引我的观点的时候， 我也会把它遗漏掉，并且会直接而匆忙地评判别人，这些判断到后来往往会被证明是错 的，还有就是我经常只限于与一些熟悉的朋友们交流而忽视其他人。

我恍然大悟：我们这些年轻人只是想努力地融入朋友圈中，因此经常去抑制和拒绝 差异，并且根据第一印象就立即对他人进行判断。我们必须学着尽量去避免变成这样。 对无知的诅咒经常使我们沉醉于那种只有我们同类人认定的舒适环境。在这个充满疑惑 的世界里，我们太急于去认定并区分我们身边的人。

无知来源于缺乏对知识的渴望，对真正知识的追求，以及对智慧深层意义的了解欲 望。通常来说，随着我们年龄和知识的增长以及对别人的想法、故事、理念、经历的了 解，我们的无知会被逐渐去除。如果我们想和谐地生活、交流和合作，绝对有必要去除 无知。克服无知需要时间、耐心和坚强的意志，并随时准备放弃大多数的偏见和信仰。

通过不断努力地挖掘深层知识，多问问题，并锻炼珍贵的宽容品质，我相信在这个 多元化的大学校园里，我会不断摆脱旧的思维方式。

文章 18

Prompt：Describe an experience of cultural difference or insensitivity you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?

Japanese people are naturally very caring and polite, and the glimpse of that is visible if one rides trains in Japan. Everyone including little kids remain silent in the train so that they are not being bothersome. Young people willingly offer seats when elderly are

50 第 3 部分 申请文实例 standing. These actions are not resulted from strict rules but they are values each of us holds in our mind, and Japanese people highly expect foreigners in Japan to behave the same. However, once each year on Halloween night, group of foreigners in Japan dress up and party inside the Yamanote Line, the most commonly used train line in Tokyo, trashing the train and leaving no space for other passengers. Seeing this gave me mixed feelings since I belong to a community of foreign people who I assimilate closely, but at the same time I am Japanese as well.

This event was brought up on the news as something cheerful and funny, and nobody seemed to be criticizing it since it happened on Halloween. The news showed tourists dressed up, drinking, screaming, and dancing inside the train as if it is totally acceptable. I may sound very straight edged but I thought this was intolerable. To many people, especially to Japanese businessmen, that day was like any other weekday, and at the time of the party many tired businessmen were returning from their work on the Yamanote Line, and they were being intruded by those foreigners. Although many foreign events such as Halloween, Christmas, and Easter are enjoyed in Japan as much as they are in other places, that does not allow people to become ignorant and insensitive.

The reason why this event gave me great shock was because I understand that many of these foreign people behave very politely on their usual days in Japan. For example, I have heard that even some teachers from my school have attended this party in the past. I obviously know that they would not do such things if it were not Halloween, which made me realize that it must be the momentum caused by the group that led to normal people doing foolish things. From this event I learned that in a foreign country you must behave as the host country people do no matter how different their culture is from yours. This event also made me think back to my days in Indonesia to see if I was violating any of their customs.

日本人天生礼貌并且非常善于为别人着想，单看日本的火车就可以证明这一点，火 车上的每个人包括小孩都能做到保持安静以便不打扰到别人。如果看到年长的人站着， 年轻人很愿意让出座位。这些行为并不是来源于什么严格的规定，而是来自他们每人心 里恪守的价值观。同时他们也非常希望在日本的外国友人也能这样做。然而，一年一度 的万圣节之夜，一群外国人盛装打扮在山手线上办聚会，要知道这是东京最繁忙的一条 线路，由于他们的聚会，火车里乱成一片，害得其他乘客几乎没有立足之地。看到这些 我的心里感慨万分，因为我应该已经融入了这群“外国人”中，但同时，我也是一个具 有日本文化传统的日本人。

51 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

这件事情以愉悦有趣的口吻上了新闻报道，看起来没有人站出来批评这件事，主要 是因为这是万圣节。不难看出这篇新闻似乎对外国旅游者在火车上乔装打扮、喝酒、尖 叫、跳舞完全是采取认可的态度。也许有些苛刻，但是我认为这种行为是不能容忍的。 对于大多数人，特别是日本的上班族，就像每个工作日一样，辛勤工作一天之后在那个 时间都会疲惫地乘坐山手线回家，不幸的是他们的休息时间被那些外国人破坏了。尽管 西方的节日例如万圣节、圣诞节、复活节在日本跟其他国家和地区一样很受欢迎，但是 这不只是因为节日就可以无视他人。

这件事情之所以让我如此震惊，是因为在我印象中这些外国人在平常日子里都表现 得很礼貌。比如，我听说甚至我的学校的一些老师也曾参加过那样的聚会。很显然如果 不是在万圣节，他们不会做那样的事情。我想，一定是群体效应使得这些平日里的正常 人去做如此疯狂的事情。通过这件事情，我认识到生活在国外，不管文化差异有多大， 一定要学会入乡随俗。同时我开始反思之前在印度尼西亚的日子，我是否曾有过违背他 们习俗的行为。

文章 19

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Race is only skin deep, I whisper to myself as I walk into a room filled with Asians, Indians, and Caucasians. I am the only black female and I silently think to myself—I am the odd one out. I cannot possibly blend in and I quickly want to seek refuge somewhere I cannot be seen. However if I turn back, I know that I will lose my opportunity to become more knowledgeable about my research project. After all, I was the first student from M High School to ever be accepted into the 2009 Simons Summer Research Program. I expected criticism. I anticipated being looked upon as dumb and illiterate. Yet to my surprise, I was given respect, acceptance and recognition.

So as I entered the room, I took a deep breath in, put on my mask, and proceeded to try to assimilate to the crowd. I vowed to myself that I would be a chameleon; I would speak properly at all times intertwining bombastic terms in my sentences without the slightest hint of colloquialisms. Soon my thoughts were interrupted by a student who introduced himself as Eddie. When I told him that my name was Akua (Ghanaian for girl born on a Wednesday), he asked me if I was Ghanaian. When he saw the surprised look on my face, he explained that he visited Ghana last summer and fell in love with the people and their culture. I was intrigued by the fact that a seventeen year old teenager of European decent was so connected to Ghanaian customs. To know that he revered a

52 第 3 部分 申请文实例 land that so many viewed as primitive provided me with new insights on how people are becoming more culturally accepting of others.

When it came time to meet my roommate, I inhaled deeply and unlocked the door only to see a smiling Asian girl who did not hesitate to greet me. "You must be Akua," she said. "I'm Michelle." As we talked more, I learned that she was born in Korea. I also learned that she spoke Korean fluently. I looked forward to listening to her say, "Yobosayo" each time her phone rang. I loved the way she accentuated it so much that I finally just had to say it, "Yobosayo Michelle" I said to her one morning and she smiled, amused that I told her hello in her native language. When I went to sleep that night, I realized that the people that I met were ordinary teenagers who were not looking at me any differently than they would another person.

The next morning I met my mentor who reviewed the basics of my project for me. Throughout the weeks I had a very tough time understanding the new material. I was working with fruit flies for the first time and made a few too many mistakes in the lab. Surely my professor my mentor would think that I was not intelligent enough to be in his lab, I thought. It turns out I had been wrong. He met with me and told me that he had never met a high school student who could write a scientific layout as well as I did especially with limited knowledge on the topic. I could not believe that he had observed this about me. I realized that he never once thought that I was dumb.

My experience as the only African -American individual in a program has shown me that race really is only skin deep. I realized that I allowed myself to anticipate what others would think of me without giving them the benefit of the doubt. I will no longer let race cloud my judgment. I will no longer be a chameleon. I will be myself.

当我走进一间满是亚洲人、印第安人和白种人的房间，我小声地告诉自己，种族仅 仅是个很肤浅的问题。我是唯一的黑人女孩，并默默在心里说——我看起来肯定特奇怪 吧。我不可能融入那个环境甚至想赶快找个地方藏起来。然而，如果退缩了，我明白我 将失去一个在自己的研究项目上学到更多东西的机会。毕竟，我是 M 高中史上被 2009 西蒙暑假研究项目录取的第一个学生。我猜想自己可能会受到批评，被当作哑巴和文盲 一样看不起。然而没想到的是，在这里，我得到了尊重、承认和认可。

我深吸了一口气，带上我的“面具”，走进房间，开始试着融入其中。我向自己保证， 我会是个变色龙，会在任何情况下做到谈吐优雅得体并不带一丝俗语。很快我的思路被 一个叫爱迪的学生的自我介绍所打断。当我告诉他，我的名字叫阿夸(加纳语里对出生在 星期三的女孩的命名)时，他问我是不是加纳人。看到我一脸惊讶，他连忙解释说，他去 年夏天去过加纳并深深爱上了那里的人们和文化。看到一个具有典型欧洲人风度的 17

53 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

岁少年竟与加纳风土人情如此亲近，我顿时来了兴致。同时，他对这个很多人视为原始 部落的尊重让我对文化认可有了更深入的理解。

当要去见室友的时候，我深吸了一口气推开门，却发现一个面带微笑的亚洲女孩迫 不及待地来问候我。“你一定是阿夸，”她说，“我是米歇尔。”随着聊天的深入，我了解 到她出生在韩国，也了解她可以很流利地说韩语。每次她的手机响起时，我都期待听到 她说“Yobosayo”。我非常喜欢听她说这句时的语音语调，以致到最后我也不得不说 “Yabosayo，米歇尔”。一天早上我这样向她问好，她笑了并很喜欢我以她的母语跟她打 招呼。那天入睡前，我意识到我遇到的这些人都是普通的少年，不会以异样的眼光看我。

第二天早上，我去见了我的导师并跟他一起浏览了项目的基础知识。在接下来的几 周，我的日子都不好过，因为理解新知识很困难。由于我是第一次接触水果蝇，在实验 室犯了不少错误。我想，我的导师肯定会以为我不够聪明。没想到结果是我想错了，他 找到我并告诉我，在这个论题上，他从未见到过一个高中生，尤其是在有限的知识框架 里能像我一样写出如此科学的大纲。他如此的评价让我几乎不敢相信，我这才意识到他 从未觉得我很笨。

作为这个项目里唯一一个非洲血统的美国人，我的经历让我看到种族真的是个很浅 薄的问题。我明白，我允许自己去猜测别人会怎么看我，且不给别人任何怀疑的机会。 但我将不再让种族去干扰我的判断，也不再会是变色龙，我将是我自己。

文章 20

Prompt: Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you?

During the ninth grade, I came to know Tobby, who, at the time, I called my best friend. Things were going great between us. However, when I found out that he was from Khoban, I hated him not for who he was, but because of where he came from. The stereotype is that people from Khoban usually depend on playing music, singing or dancing for a living, and sometimes perform those activities even during others' sad moments. He tried to tell me that he and his family had left that village because they did not like what those people do, yet I assaulted him and didn't give him a chance.

Years passed, and in the 11th grade, I won a chance to go to the USA for an exchange program. I knew forty one other students who won the same chance. We all met with our families and friends the day of our going away at the airport. Crying and hugging, everyone was sad to leave his family and friends. But I wasn't sad, instead, I was happy and excited because it was going to be only for one year and it was my first time

54 第 3 部分 申请文实例 traveling outside Yemen. Soon we all were on the plane, and nobody was sad any more. We had fun chatting and telling jokes to each other all the way.

Everything changed when we arrived in Washington DC. That was the time we had to say Goodbye to each other because everyone was placed in a different state to attend high school and live with a host family. This time I had the desire to cry because I finally felt I was alone. Realizing I was out of the comfort zone, I started to feel homesick three days later, yet I was even more eager to make new friends.

I was placed in Norfolk, Nebraska. The adults there were very pleasant and welcoming, but the teenagers were not. Every time I tried to make friends, they called me a "terrorist." They called me that because I was from the Middle East, but even though I was annoyed, it did not prevent me from trying to make friends. I joined the tennis, wrestling, and soccer teams because I had always believed that doing activities with others is the best way to reach them, and I worked just as hard at the sports as they did. Once they got to know me, they stopped addressing me like that. They apologized and told me that I was nothing like a terrorist and did not deserve to be called that.

The exchange program came to an end, and I had to leave again. But this time I was aware I wouldn't see my friends for good, and I felt I was leaving my comfort zone again. Still, I didn't cry or huff because I learned that where ever I go, I can make it my home. I learned that the choice is always in my hand.

This experience also made me think hard about how mean I was when I chose to hate Tobby because he was from Khoban. I felt bad because I was in the same situation as him, but people had always treated me well in the end. I was determined to apologize to him and to change the way that I treated him and others, and this was one of the best decisions of my life.

I learned that a baby does not choose who his parents will be, whether he will be black or white, male or female, or from Yemen or America. We do not have the right to insult people for any of these reasons. We should treat others as people like us and view them based on their personalities, not their backgrounds. And we should never call a person "terrorist" or "nigger" because stereotypes are never true and everyone is different. We should know instead that addressing people with derogatory nicknames will not make us feel any better, but will instead instigate conflict and war; it will cause us to lose many friends, and at the same time, gain more enemies.

九年级的时候，我认识了托比，在那个时候他是我最好的朋友。我们之间交往非常

55 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

愉快。然而，当我发现他来自库班时，情况发生了变化，我讨厌的不是他这个人，而是 他的家乡。典型的库班人通常是靠演奏音乐、唱歌跳舞来谋生的，关键是在别人悲伤的 时候，他们也会进行这些活动。他试图跟我解释，说他们家之所以会离开那个村子，就 是因为不喜欢当地人们的这种行为，但是我还是没有接受，不给他任何机会。

几年过去了，转眼到了十一年级，我得到了一个参加美国交换生项目的机会。 我知 道还有 41 个学生赢得了同样的机会。在离别的那天，我们在机场与家人和朋友进行了 道别，互相拥抱并掉下了眼泪。每个人都为即将离开家人和朋友而感到忧伤。但是我却 没有伤心，我反而很激动并且感到很开心，因为这个项目只会持续一年，而且这也是我 第一次有机会离开也门。很快我们都上了飞机，并且每个人都渐渐地从悲伤中走了出来。 整个旅程中，我们都很开心并且互相谈笑着。

当我们到达华盛顿时，情况开始变得不同。因为那时由于每个人要去不同的州的寄 宿家庭并在那里的高中上学，这意味着我们所有人要分开了。就在这一刻，我有了想哭 的冲动，因为我最终感觉到了孤独的滋味。意识到苦难的生活即将开始，3 天后我开始 有了想家的感觉，但我还是更急切地想结交新朋友。

我被安排到内布拉斯加州的诺福克上学。这里的大人们举止文雅且十分友善，但是 当地年轻人却不是这样。每次当我想要与他们交朋友的时候，换来的只是他们嘴里“恐 怖分子”的称呼。只是因为来自中东，他们就给了我这样的称呼。尽管很生气，但我没 有停止努力去结交朋友。我参加了网球队、摔跤队和足球队，因为我相信参加一些活动 是最好的与别人相识的方法。我和他们一样刻苦地训练。在了解我这个人后，他们不再 像之前那样对我。他们真诚地向我道歉，并说其实我一点也不像恐怖分子，而且他们根 本没理由给我这个称呼。

随着交换生项目的结束，我不得不离开这里。这次我意识到再也不能见到这些朋友 们了，并且要再一次因为离开而感到难过了。但是我仍然没有哭或者感到烦恼，因为我 知道自己的目的地，我可以重新在家乡找到快乐，选择权始终在自己手里。

这次经历同时也让我再一次反思到，自己之前是多么的小气，只是因为托比来自库 班就讨厌他。我其实跟他一样，刚刚经历了同样的遭遇，那种待遇让我感觉非常不好。 但是往往到了最后，人们还是会跟我成为很好的朋友。我下定决心去向他道歉，并改变 之前对他和其他人的态度。我想这是我这辈子做过的最英明的决定。

无论是黑人还是白人，是男还是女，在也门还是在美国，我知道任何孩子都是无法 选择自己的父母的。我们没有任何权力因为出身就去侮辱别人。我们需要公平地对待他 人，并且对人的判断也要更多地通过他们的人品而不是背景。我们绝对不可以把别人称 作恐怖分子或是黑鬼，因为这些偏见并不正确而且每个人都是不同的。给别人侮辱性的 绰号不会令我们感觉快乐，相反只会带来矛盾和争斗，许多朋友会因此离你而去，与此

56 第 3 部分 申请文实例

同时你会收获更多的敌人。

文章 21

On a windy Autumn day of 2007 when from Quang Ngai, I came to Hanoi for the first time to continue my studies after passing the entrance exam of a famous high school of the country. To me, everything here was really different from my homeland. And maybe difference between me and people there which was easiest to realize was our difference of accent. I thought that this was not a big deal but later, it was my whole trouble.

In my first day in school, I was the center of attention of my classmates because I was the first and the only Southerner passing the entrance exam to study in this school. To them, I was quite different and strange. I have strange kind of costumes, specific color of skin and especially, a different accent from people there. They looked at me all the time. When having the break times, they tried to approach me and ask me as many questions as they can. When I spoke any thing, my classmates laughed and tried to mimic my accent. At first, I thought that because they were nice, they always tried to laugh to make me feel comfortable and friendly.

Once, one of the boys sitting near me wrote me a note:" Trung, you don't realize that you are the object of people's joke. If I were you, certainly I would not mind asking them to stop their joke". I started feeling confused. He seemed right. I realized people approaching and talking to me was to make fun for their jokes. When I was standing in a large group, their jokes made me feel embarrassed. I couldn't stand the situation in which all people laughed but I was only able to see them laugh at me. I started decreasing to talk to people. I avoided coming near the crowd and just spoke when there were not many friends near me. But days passed by and I realized that the less I spoke, the less friends I had.

I thought I needed to change. Instead of asking people stop their mimicking my accent, I tried to change the object of joke. When they spoke my accent wrong, I said" "No, it's not right. You must say like this..." and taught them how to spoke like my accent. When they tried to speak, it seemed really funny to me. And many times, I couldn't help laughing. At those times, it was as if I and my friends were the object of one another. Everything was gradually improved. I felt more and more comfortable to talk to friends. Moreover, I found confident to approach many strange people and chatted freely with them. That helped me have a lot of friends that my friends were also jealous of it。

57 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

Two years elapsed and I learned many things in my specialized high school. But what I have learned more is about culture. Meeting new friends, widening my knowledge about North culture helped me quickly integrate in Hanoi. I perceive that sometimes, difference of culture is also a barrier between people and people. But if we can overcome this barrier, we will shine ourselves among our friends. I love cultural difference because it makes me unique.

在 2007 年秋风习习的一天，我第一次从广义来到河内。在通过了全国著名高中的 入学考试后，我将要在这里继续我的学业。对于我来说，这里的一切与我的家乡有很大 不同。我和这里的人们最明显的区别就是不同的口音。起初，我认为这不是什么大的问 题，但后来它却成了我的大麻烦。

上学的第一天，我就因为是唯一一个通过考试进入这所学校的南方人而吸引了全班 同学的注意力。对于这些同学来说，我是一个与众不同并且有点奇怪的人，因为我穿着 古怪的衣服，肤色很特别，尤其还有那与众不同的口音。他们总是盯着我看。课间休息 时，他们试着跟我接触并问了我尽可能多的问题。无论我说些什么，同学们都会笑起来 并且模仿我的口音。一开始，我认为这种行为是出于友好。他们想要用欢笑来让我在这 个陌生的环境里感到友好和舒适。

但有一次，坐在我边上的一个男孩给我一张纸条上面写道“陈，难道你没有注意到， 你现在是大家取笑的对象吗？如果我是你的话，我会让他们停止这种可恶的玩笑”。看到 这张纸条后，我的心情变得复杂起来。他的说法似乎是正确的，我意识到了人们之所以 走近我并和我聊天完全是想看我的笑话。在众人面前，他们的玩笑也让我觉得很难堪。 我无法忍受这种只能看着所有人都取笑我而自己却无能为力的感觉，我开始变得沉默寡 言并且避免接近人群，只是在人不多的时候才开口说话。但是随着时间的流逝，我意识 到自己说得越少，朋友也就交得越少。

我想我需要改变。没有让人们停止模仿我的口音，相反我努力地让他们转换取笑的 目标。在模仿我的口音时，如果他们发音不正确，我会对他们说“那个发音不对，你应 该这样说……”然后不断地教会他们我的口音。看到他们努力模仿的样子，我同样感觉 到了可笑。很多次，我忍不住笑了起来。在那些时候，仿佛我们彼此都成了对方的笑柄。 在这个策略下，情况逐渐得到了改善，我和朋友们越来越谈得来。此外，我有了更多的 自信去接触陌生人，并和他们轻松地聊天。我因此交到了很多朋友，连我的朋友们对此 都羡慕不已。

两年的时光很快就过去了，在这所特别的高中里，我学到了很多东西，但学得最多 的还是文化知识。结交新的朋友并且扩展对北方文化的了解让我很快地融入了河内。有 时候，我觉得文化差异是人与人之间的障碍，但是如果克服了这个障碍，我们就可以在 朋友中取得很好的人缘。因此对于文化差异我是十分喜欢的，因为它让我变得与众不同。

58 第 3 部分 申请文实例

文章 22

One day in 1992, I was born in the Crouse Irving Hospital Syracuse, NY. I was in fact, the first generation to be born in the United States. The first person I saw was a white nurse. The first place I walked in was America. The first friend I made was a white baby named Roy. Even the first language I encountered was English. Yet, the first words I spoke at the age of seven months were in Korean. My mother tells me I said 꽃(flower) and 물(water). Before I was even able to read, write, and perceive the world in an objective way, two distinct paths of identity development lay before me. In fact, it is more accurate to say that these two paths forcefully converged in my life for this was not a matter of choice.

The trout, after it is ready to venture out on its own, roams the rivers and the oceans. Yet, the trout embarks on a lifelong journey back to its birthplace. How the trout locates the exact place it was born, no one knows. What we do know, however, is that the trout has an extremely strong sense of its origin. Within the limited perimeter of my perspective, humans – at least most, resemble the trout. Self identity provides an emergency exit door and a sense of security. Especially in a convoluted world as now, self identity has become more important than ever before.

In 1996 – I blow the seven candles out of the cake as my relatives finish singing 생일 축하 합니다(Happy Birthday). Happy birthday dear Yun they say. It is a subtle, yet significant change to a four year old who has been called Michael his whole life. Happy birthday dear Michael rings inside my small head... Happy birthday Michael...

During my four years of youth spent with my grandparents, my self –identity had become even more muddy and convoluted than it had ever been. Cultural clashes, disparity between looks and mindset, religious doubts – these were the main issues my young mind had to face. I was neither Korean nor American, neither Christian nor Buddhist, neither Asian American nor a fob (fresh off the boat). What was I? Who was I? What could I refer myself to? These unanswerable questions were asked countless times. I sometimes envied my Korean friends in the neighborhood: Kids with a solid base of identity.

In 2009 – It has been over three years since I have been back to the States. Ironically, like the trout, I am back where I was born. However, the Michael today is very different from the Michael Yun 15 years ago. The experiences I've had in Korea and the US, Seoul International School and The Manlius Pebble Hill school have increased my range of understanding of the world. In doing so, I have learned that there is a greater

59 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

significance in viewing myself and more importantly others as individuals rather than their country of origin. I believe that it is imperative for every individual in this world to have had the experience of interacting with others different both culturally and intellectually. This is my greatest asset.

1992 年的一天，我出生在纽约州锡拉丘兹的克劳斯欧文医院。实际上，我是整个家 庭中在美国出生的第一代人。我见到的第一个人是位白人护士。我踏上的第一块土地是 美利坚。我的第一位朋友是个叫做罗伊的白人小孩。我所遇到第一门语言也是英语。然 而 7 个月大时，我第一次张口说出来的却是韩语单词。妈妈对我讲我当时说的词语是꽃 (花)和물(水). 在拥有读、写和客观地审视这个世界的能力之前，我的面前就出现了两条 不同的身份认证和发展之路。实际上更确切地说，在我的生命里，这两条路的出现是必 然的。

鳟鱼，在能够独自游弋后，会跑遍江河湖海。然而它也会花费毕生的时间游回自己 的出生地。没有人知道鳟鱼是如何准确地找到它的出生地的。然而，我们却可以想象到， 鳟鱼对故里的强烈眷恋。在我单纯的认识中，觉得人跟鳟鱼很像。自我身份的认定仿佛 提供给我一扇紧急逃生门和安全感。尤其在现在这样一个令人费解的世界里，自我的身 份认定变得比任何时候都重要。

1996 年——当我的亲人们唱完생일축하 합니다(生日快乐)歌后，我吹灭了蛋糕上 的 7 根蜡烛。之后他们叫到，亲爱的云祝你生日快乐。这句话给出生 4 年来一直被叫做 麦克的我带来了微妙且意义深远的改变。我的小脑袋里一直回响着那句话：“麦克祝你生 日快乐……麦克祝你生日快乐……”

小的时候，我和爷爷奶奶生活了 4 年，在这期间，我的身份变得比以往更加的模糊 和复杂。文化不断地冲突着，不同的表情、思想和宗教信仰——这些都是还未经世事的， 我必须要面对的。我不是美国人也不是韩国人，不是基督教徒也不是佛教徒，我不是亚 裔美国人也不是亚洲人(刚刚下船到美国的亚洲人)，那我是什么？我是谁？我能被称做 什么呢？这些无法回答的问题我已经问过自己无数遍。我时常羡慕邻家的韩国朋友，因 为他们有很明确的身份。

2009 年——我回到美国已经 3 年了。具有讽刺意味的是，就像鳟鱼一样，我回到了 自己的出生地。然而，今天的我，麦克，已与 15 年前的自己有着天壤之别了。我在韩 国首尔国际学校和美国曼里乌斯伯山中学的经历增加了我对这个世界的认识。我懂得了 把自己和其他人当成是纯粹的个人，而不是去考量他们的出身是多么的重要。我相信让 这个世界上的每个人与不同文化和知识背景的人交流是非常有必要的。这种思想上的提 升和文化冲击的经历就是我最珍贵的财富。

60 第 3 部分 申请文实例

四、目标与信念

文章 23

As I stepped foot on stage, I took a glance at the crowd in the auditorium. There my parents were, roaring my name and expressing how proud they were of me. I could feel my heartbeat thumping harder and harder as I approached my fifth grade teacher. She presented me with a trophy in one hand and a firm handshake with the other while congratulating me on the completion of the program. With an enormous smile on my face, I turned to raise my trophy and at that instant I realized that when I was old enough, I would love to become a teacher for this amazing reading program.

It's been five years ever since my Excite graduation and now that summer had arrived, I finally had my chance to be a part of a life changing experience. The applications were hot off the printer and ready to be written on. Anxiety took over my mind as I completed the application. Crossing my fingers, I placed the packet down in the box at the council corner in church and let out a sigh of relief. It would take approximately two weeks to receive a response from the national Excite team but little did I know that it would be worth the wait. I was ecstatic at hearing the news of being picked to be the seventh grade teacher. Training had begun the following Saturday and it seemed to be very instructive, the team had been very specific on telling us the main objectives of Excite and how to accomplish them. Upon the arrival of the first Excite day, my assistant and I were very eager to see how the students would respond to our lesson plans. As the day came to an end, we had already seen such a drastic change in attitude and a new love for reading emerging. The students continued to enhance their critical thinking skills and had fun while doing it. Whenever it was time to think of new activities for the next session, my assistant and I would never procrastinate. Noticing the difference we made in the students' lives helped motivate us and helped us think of creative new lesson plans.

The five weeks had passed and graduation day was around the corner. Parents and all teachers were invited to celebrate the students' accomplishments. Speeches were made by the national Excite team and later each grade went up stage to collect their certificate and trophy. After the students had graduated, teachers received a standing ovation. In that moment, I felt as if I had made a big difference in the lives of not just the students but the parents as well. It was the same feeling I had felt at my own Excite graduation.

61 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

I am very well aware that the University of F only accepts the best of the best and I can assure the staff that they will not be disappointed in me. In each community service project I have done I have learned a different lesson in each and every one of them, which only makes me grow as a person. Doing these projects made me realize that my passion is to help people in any way possible; that is why my dream to become a doctor. I know I can overcome any obstacle that comes in my way. As years go by and my name comes up, the University will not dig their heads to the ground in shame, but will stand up tall with heads high and smile.

当站到讲台上时，我看了一眼台下的观众。我的父母在其中大声叫着我的名字，并 表达着他们多么为我感到自豪。我走向五年级的老师，那一刻我能感觉到我的心跳在不 断加速。她用一只手递给了我奖杯，然后用另一只手紧紧地握了握我的手，祝贺我完成 了课程。我转过身来举起了我的奖杯，脸上洋溢起灿烂的笑容。此刻我意识到自己已经 成熟，并且很希望在完成这个阅读课程后去当一名教师。

那次参加“卓越”结合流行病教学的课程毕业典礼已经过去 5 年了。转眼又到了夏 天，终于我有了一次改变自己人生的经历。申请表被打印出来还是热乎乎的，随时可以 填制，在完成这个申请表的过程中，我的心情一直是很焦虑的。在教堂议事角落的盒子 里，我投下了这份申请，然后双手合十，祈求好运后长出了一口气。要等大概两周的时 间，才能从“卓越”结合流行病教学的课程项目所在的国家小组那里收到回复。其实我 也不清楚这个机会是否值得等待，但当得到被录取为七年级的消息时，我欣喜若狂。在 接下来的那个周六我就开始了培训，这次培训很有意义，所有组员对于“卓越”结合流 行病教学的课程项目的整体目标以及如何取得目标都有了明确的了解。在教学开始的第 一天，我的助手和我急切地想得到学生们对我们教学计划的反馈。当这一天的任务快结 束时，我们已经在学生中看到了他们对于阅读态度的巨大转变和对阅读燃起的热情。学 生们在接下来的课程中不断地提高着自己的判断思维技巧，同时也很享受这其中的快乐。 每次在为下一阶段课程准备新的活动时，我和我的助手也从来不懈怠。因为我们注意到 了给学生们的生活带来的变化，这也激励着我们不断创造具有新意的教学计划。

五个星期很快就过去了，转眼就到了毕业的日子。在这一天，家长和所有的教师都 被邀请来庆祝学生们所取得的成就。“卓越”结合流行病教学的课程项目所在的国家小组 人员都做了演讲，然后每个年级的学生都上台来领取他们的证书和奖杯。当毕业仪式结 束后，台下的观众们起立为所有的老师热烈鼓掌。在那一刻，我感觉自己好像改变了学 生的人生，同时也改变了他们父母的生活。这种感觉与我当初从这个课程毕业时惊人的 相似。

我非常了解，F 大学只接受最好的学生。我向所有 F 大学的人员保证，选择我是不 会让他们失望的。在每个社区服务项目中的每一堂课，我都汲取了知识和经验，同时它

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们又让我不断地成长和成熟。这些项目经验让我意识到，我的梦想是尽一切可能帮助别 人，这也成为我想当医生的一个原因。我知道自己能够战胜所有阻碍我的困难。随着年 龄和名气的增长，我相信这所学校不会因为录取我而感到羞耻和惭愧，相反会以我为荣。

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Prompt: If you were given a grant to research a scientific or medical issue that you deem important to the world, what would it be, why did you choose it, and what kind of research do you think has the greatest chance of being productive?

In the past three years, I have witnessed three deaths from cancer in my family. My grandpa, my aunt and my cousin (my aunt's daughter), all died from different forms of cancer. I was always afraid of cancer, intimidated by the prospect of another unpredictable death in my family. As I saw grandpa, my closest buddy, succumb to a miserable death, I dedicated myself to learning more about cancer. I spent hours studying books and articles on it and engaged in prolonged discussions with doctors and Biology teachers. Yet, they were never enough to fully comprehend the realities of cancer.

While my aunt died from ovarian carcinoma, her daughter died from cancer of the intestine. Her youngest daughter was also diagnosed with uterine cancer, but got cured during its early stages. Doctors could not establish a credible genetic link as the forms of carcinoma were different. I, meanwhile, have been trying to find one myself. Having spent days and nights in cancer hospitals, I have seen hundreds of patients hopelessly struggle only to survive a few more days. With a strong desire to learn more, I am determined to work in the field of cancer research. If given a grant, I would choose oncogenomics to carry out my research.

This field is relatively new and less researched. In less than twenty years of prominence, researches in oncogenomics have added a whole new dimension to the diagnosis and treatment of cancer, be it through development of monoclonal antibodies or discovery of the magic bullets. Since cancer originates genetically through DNA mutation, further research on oncogenomics may provide new insights on cancer diagnosis and therapies. If given an opportunity in the future, I will definitely base my research on oncogenomics after sufficient study regarding this field.

As a researcher, I would not just possess knowledge and skills but would also have immense faith in my project. My research would aim upon the study and development

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of cancer-related drugs that can be easily accessible to the general population. The alarming increase in deaths caused by cancer every year further necessitates investments in cancer research. Though a research may not always yield desired result, I believe that no research ever goes wasted. As Thomas Edison once said "Every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward to success."

在过去的三年中，我亲眼目睹三位亲人因不同类型的癌症相继离去，我的爷爷、姑 姑和表妹(姑姑的女儿)。所以我总是很害怕癌症，很担心它会再次突然夺去某个亲人的 生命。看到我的至亲——爷爷备受折磨地离去，我决心全力投入学习研究癌症。我花费 大量的时间去读相关的书和文献，并和医生及生物老师进行长时间的课题讨论。然而， 这些对彻底理解癌症的本质是远远不够的。

我的姑姑死于卵巢癌，她的一个女儿死于大肠癌。而且她的小女儿也曾被诊断出子 宫癌，但庆幸的是在早期得以治愈。医生们无法建立一个统一的和可信的基因链，因为 癌症的形式是各不相同的。然而，我却想在这方面试一试。在癌症医院呆了无数个日日 夜夜之后，我看到数以百计的病人绝望地挣扎只求能多活几天而已。带着强烈的学习欲 望，我决意致力于癌症研究。如果条件允许的话，我会选择致瘤学作为研究方向。

这是个相对新的领域，少有人研究过。不到 20 年，致瘤学的研究已经给癌症的诊 断和治疗开拓了一个全新的发展方向，或通过单克隆抗体的发展，或通过治疗魔方的发 明。从遗传学上来讲，癌症起源于 DNA 突变，因此，对致瘤学的进一步研究可以给癌 症诊断和治疗提供新的视角。如果将来有机会，在学到足够多的知识之后，我必定会将 致瘤学作为研究方向。

作为一名研究者，我不仅仅具备知识和技巧，对我的项目也有坚定的信念。我的研 究将致力于研究和发明治疗癌症且可以授之大众的药品。每年触目惊心的癌症死亡增长 率进一步强调了投资癌症研究的必要性。也许一项研究并不能总是给出预期的结果，但 是我相信每项研究必有其用途。就像托马斯·爱迪生曾说过的，“失败是成功之母。”

文章 25

Looking into the extracurricular activities at University of P, I was overwhelmed by the multitude of clubs available to students. These activities facilitate the students' exploration of the many facets that makes them diverse from one another. It also allows them to connect and form lasting relationships with other individuals who share common interests and backgrounds. As a Catholic Indian with an interest in medicine who enjoys singing and dancing, there is much that this university has to offer for me that I can give in return.

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Medicine has been my aspiration since childhood. The way my pediatrician guided my family through a medical crisis made me realize that I would similarly like to help others. By high school, my passion for the sciences set my resolve to becoming a doctor. I believe that University of P can help me reach this ambition by preparing me for medical school with the many majors and opportunities given to pre-med students. The Pre-Medical Association at Penn would allow me to meet others like myself who are interested in medicine and contribute what I know about health issues. I am also be interested in joining the Minority Association of Pre-Health Students because, similar to the internship I participated in, it seeks to encourage the employment of minorities in health-related professions and addresses racial inequalities within the healthcare field, both of which are issues that I am fervent upon addressing to the public.

Taught to accept all cultural differences has helped me expand my horizons and become more open-minded towards the diversity of a society, like that of New York City. I am proud of my Indian heritage and I am definitely interested in joining The United Minorities Council, which enables me to express that pride. A reason it is particularly of interest to me is because one of the topics they focus on is racial disparities. Besides speaking about Indian culture, I would also love to be able to help Penn showcase Indian culture. I have had a passion for singing since I was child, particularly songs in Indian languages such as Hindi, Malayalam, and Tamil. Therefore, I was thrilled when I heard about Atma, the South Asian a cappella group, a group unique to P that is rarely found elsewhere. That is one group I would without a doubt be interested in joining. Pennaach, a club that performs Indian dances, would allow me to show the audience traditional, classical, and modern forms of Indian dance.

A devout Catholic all my life, the P Catholic Student Association would be an ideal group for me to join. Charity work has always been taken seriously in my house and I felt overwhelmed by the vast number of community service opportunities available to students at Penn, many of which I am interested in to taking part of. I am an active member of many non-profit organizations and I intend to continue to lend my help during college. The P Habitat for Humanity is an organization that provides affordable housing to those in need around the world. I have been involved with this program since for years and will continue to participate in it during college. Helping out groups like Strive for College will enable me to work with kids and provide them with information that I had not received when I needed it. I also desire to help other groups such as Operation Smile, organizations that have touched my heart too many times for me to sit back and not act for it.

65 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

看着 P 大学的课外活动表，如此多的社团可以申请让我惊叹不已。这些活动有利于 学生探求各方面的知识，同时也可使每个人独具个性。它们可以让学生与背景相同和喜好 相似的人彼此认识并建立长久的友情。我是一个信天主教的印度人并且热爱唱歌跳舞， 对医学充满兴趣，我想这所大学可以给予我很多我想要的和可以将来回报它的东西。

很小的时候，医学就是我的最爱。一位儿科医生曾帮助我的家庭摆脱了一次疾病的 困扰，那次经历使我意识到我也可以同样地去帮助别人。高中的时候，我对理科的热爱 又奠定了我成为一名医生的决心。而 P 大学可以为那些将来要进入医学院校的预科班学 生提供许多门课程和大量机会，我相信这一点可以帮助我实现一直以来的梦想。此外， 这所学校的医学预科协会可以让我认识很多跟我一样对医学感兴趣的人，也可以让我对 一些医学健康问题的研究做出贡献。由保健专业学生组成的少数民族协会我也很感兴趣， 因为它和我参加的实习项目很相似，而且它的目标是去鼓励少数族裔进入医疗的相关行 业，并且处理在医疗领域由于种族产生的不公正问题，这两个都是我很想传递给大众的 课题。

学习如何去接受文化差异帮助我扩展了我的视野，而且我的思想也变得很开阔，能 接受像纽约这种文化多样的大城市了。我向来以自己是印度裔而感到骄傲，并且很想要 加入能表达我的荣耀之情的少数族裔联合委员会。此外，他们研究种族差异，这是我对 这个协会感兴趣的另外一个很特别的原因。我不但可以讲述印度的文化，也可以为这所 大学相关文化展览出一份力。从小就很喜欢唱歌的我能用像印地语、马拉雅拉姆语和泰 米尔语这样的印度语来唱歌。阿特马是南亚人组建的清唱乐团，它很独特，在 P 大学的 其他地方是很难找到的。毫无疑问，它是我想要进入的社团。在我参加的其他社团中， 潘纳赫是一个表演印度舞的团体，在这个团体中我能为观众展示我的传统、经典和各种 现代的印度舞蹈。

我是一个虔敬的天主教徒。P 大学的天主教学生协会对于我来说是个理想的选择。 我的家庭一向重视慈善工作。对于 P 大学的学生来说，有很多的机会去进行社区服务， 我对此惊叹不已并且饶有兴趣地参加了这其中的很多活动。在一些非营利机构里表现得 十分活跃的我很想把这种状态延续到我的大学生活。“仁爱之家”是一个为世界各地有需 要的人提供买得起的住房的组织。我已经加入这个组织很多年了，并且还将在我的大学 期间继续为这个组织服务。此外，我参加了“奋斗校园”这个组织，这个组织可以让我 和孩子们一起工作，并在需要的时候提供给他们我之前没有了解过的相关信息。当然我 还参加了许多的组织，像“微笑行动”，在为这些组织服务的过程中，太多次的感动让我 无法自抑地去享受其中的快乐。

如果说 P 大学的学术和社会团体只是单一方面的，这肯定是假话。每个人都通过在 这些组织中尽其所能去付出和倾听别人的心声而受益。我相信，我的文化背景、广泛的 兴趣以及我对各个组织的积极态度使我得到了很多为 P 大学作贡献的机会。从知识、背

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景、兴趣到社区服务，从不同角度，这所大学为它的学生提供了多种找到归属感的方式， 同时也为他们提供了为宾夕法尼亚大学作贡献的机会。

文章 26

My hometown Ilsan is a city with an extreme gap between the poor and the rich. Some people moaned facing adversities on a daily basis while the others spent thousands for luxuries. Living in between, I observed that current political system was abused to give more luxuries to the rich; this environment instilled a desire in me to be a true political leader who would bring power to the poor in my small hometown. However, even with strong desire to work for the poor, I can't help but cast a doubt: many of current politicians must have had the same desire when they were as young as I, but now they are being accused of corruption and incompetence. Will I be the same? What should I do to keep my original purpose as well as be a competent politician?

I find the answer lies in having a broad perspective and practical knowledge in politics. And I value and appreciate that the College of Human Ecology at C University also perceives importance of those two qualities. First of all, the college emphasizes exploring the relationship between people and the world "from a variety of perspectives," and practices the idea through its liberal arts education and off-campus opportunities. I know that not every college cares about building a broad perspective, or actually practice that idea; however, in the perspective of the College of Human Ecology, I can easily visualize myself being able to perceive my hometown's political problems in many aspects, not only in my aspect. I value the college's deep consideration about shaping students not only in terms of academic knowledge, but also in terms of a person with greater sight.

As the college provides various real-life opportunities such as Capital Semester, it exhibits its perspective that "experiential learning is another important part of the Human Ecology education." and I definitely agree to and value this conception. Through my internship at Voluntary Agency Network of Korea, I realized how studying and working are different—applying what I learned through books at the real world was not easy at all: You should deal with people, various incidents happen, and so on. Knowing how learning through paper and actually working are different, I value the college's idea that it takes a responsibility of providing a full of real experience to undergraduate students; it will give me the feeling of my dream, and teach me how to work with everything as a political leader of small city, not as a mere theorist.

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For sure, the College of Human Ecology is perfect in terms of quality of education, setting, reputation, and diversity. Truly, however, it shines because it recognizes and practices building a broad perspective in students and preparing students practically. I am confident that those perspectives that the College of Human Ecology at C University has will shape me as a competent political leader for the poor in my home town, leading me to the path of a true politician for my community.

我的家乡“一山”是一个贫富分化严重的城市。有些人每天都在为困苦的生活叫苦 不迭，而另一些人却可以挥金如土地享受奢华。我的生活在介于这两者之间的一个中等 家庭，在我看来，劫贫济富的现行政治体制才是罪魁祸首。这种环境促使我有了一个愿 望，那就是成为政治领导人并把权力带给这座小镇的穷人们。虽然有这种服务穷人的想 法，但我也不禁有一个疑惑：很多政客在年轻的时候应该与我有一样的想法，但如今他 们却深陷腐败和无能的指责。我会不会这样呢？我将如何在成为一名出色政治家的同时 不忘记自己本来的目标呢？

我发现答案来自开阔的眼界和政治上的实际经验。C 大学的人类生态学学院也重视 这两个方面。这使我十分欣赏和尊重这所学院。首先，这所学院重视从不同角度定义人 与世界的关系，并且在文科课程和校外活动中实践这些理念。我知道并不是所有的大学 都注重扩展学生的视野或实践理念。但在 C 大学的人类生态学学院，我能够轻松地想象 到，自己从个人及其他多个角度来解决家产的政治性问题的情形。我很欣赏这所学院在 塑造学生上的能力，它不仅让学生出色地完成了学业，并且赋予他们远大的理想。

学院提供给学生许多模拟真实工作的机会。例如政府学期，这项课程体现了“这所 学院把实践知识当成学习的重要部分”的教学理念。当然我是十分赞同和欣赏这个理念 的。在韩国网络外交使节团实习的时候，我发现了学校里学的知识与实际工作之间有多 大的不同。想把我在书本上学的东西应用到现实工作上是非常困难的，比如说，你一定 要与很多人打交道，还会遇到很多意外情况等。有了上述经验，我开始尊重这个学院把 提供本科生实际经验当成自身教学责任的想法。这所学院的教育使我能够像一个小城市 的政治领导一样去处理各种实际问题，而不是只成为一个理论家。这真让我感觉自己的 梦想不再遥远。

当然，这所学院在教学质量、背景、名誉和教学多样性上是无可挑剔的。但真正使 它光彩夺目的还是它注重建立学生的思维能力和实际工作经验的教育理念。我很自信， 在 C 大学的人类生态学学院的培育下，我可以成为一位出色的领导人，为家乡的贫困户 解决困难，从而引导我走向真正的人民政治家之路。

文章 27

Buenos días, Madrid. The city had not slept; it stood outside my window with a groggy

68 第 3 部分 申请文实例 expression, eyes blinking back the lights of disco techs. The clock read four ante meridiem. Two hours, I thought as I walked to the hotel lobby in pajamas, calculating the time that I would have to myself before my classmates awoke to tour streets that led to 15th century palaces. Pressing the on button on the computer, it hummed alive.

"Ciao, hola, 'ello!"They tried each language until they came across the right one, finally pulling my attention away from the computer with the strange, Spanish keyboard. It took a moment to readjust to the real world; to leave behind my imaginary place where women sang butterflies and oceans caught fire. I knew that someone had come inside. Whenever the hotel doors opened, the air spilled in, the scent of night still lingering; an interesting mixture of cigarettes and the spices that had rolled up from the Mediterranean, down from the Pyrenees. Their thick accents and the slur of their inebriation left me oblivious to the fact that they were talking to me, however, until their faces loomed above, peering at my secret world that trailed behind a blinking cursor.

"I'm an actor." One announced. He was dark skinned, a Roman. I squinted my tired eyes at him, seeing a gladiator in the Flavian Amphitheater, still confusing fact with fiction. "Can I read this dialogue?"

Just like that, an American and three traveling Italians were sharing a story before sunrise in a hotel lobby off of calle Gran Via, Spain. It was my story, but there was something in their voices which told it to me in a way that I had never before heard. My captivation was not unusual. I am often teased by the wisdom and insight that linger in another's voice during conversation; I want to bottle this quality of perspective, and then squeeze it out into my mind so that I can experience it, too. What would life be if we could know it through every eye; hazel and dark, blue and grey—if we could always trade secrets like this, making conversation in a room whose air is perfumed with the possibility of enlightenment?

At Bates, I will discover the life in people I meet; be the oil for out-of-use facets of the mind, the polish for dusty soul-beauty, just like I did that day in Spain. I see myself sprawled out under the trees in front of Hathorn, the limbs above me holding flames and dripping gold, exactly as they were when I first visited campus. Around me are students, one from Taiwan and another who has pledged to take me to my first lacrosse match. Both have ideas spilling from their lips, in which I wade, and then splash some of my own back. I am content, but not because of a mere exchange of philosophies; this happens every day at Bates College, I have seen it. Instead, it is because ten minutes ago I did not know these two students—I was introduced by the

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boy with a bobcat on his tee, who is walking to get coffee in the room where we discussed the merits of our own existence and terrorism in India yesterday. The vitality of Bates cannot be overlooked; it paves the sidewalks and adorns the buildings there, but the students can manifest the spirit of the school by sharing who they are with one another, by giving simply because one person can never acquire all that life has to offer on their own. I would do that.

早上好，马德里! 这座城市还未入眠。在我的窗外这座城市展现着它惺忪的睡眼， 当它闭上眼睛的那一刻，舞池的光色也随之消失。时钟上显示着此时为凌晨 4 点。我穿 着睡袍，一边走向宾馆大厅，一边计算着，还有多久才和现在还未起床的同学们去游览 各条通往 15 世纪广场的大街。还有 2 个小时，我想出了答案。随后，我按下了电脑的 开机键，电脑在嗡嗡声中启动起来。

“你好”，大家试着用不同的语言在打招呼，试图寻找来自自己国家的同学。我的注 意力也因此从奇怪的西班牙语字母的键盘上转移了过来。我还是用了一段时间从唱着蝴 蝶和海上之火的女子们构成的虚幻世界重新回到现实世界。我知道有人走了进来，因为 每次门打开时，总会有空气被带进来，这空气中残留着夜晚的味道，以及那比利牛斯山 上吹下的地中海的辛香料与烟草混合的气息。由于口音的浓重感和他们酒醉后的口齿不 清，我没有意识到他们在跟我讲话。直到我注意到他们的脸出现在上方，正在打探着我 在电脑屏幕上浏览的东西，我才意识到原来他们之前是在跟我讲话。

“我是一名演员，”其中一个人跟我说道。他是一名罗马人，皮肤颜色较深。我疲惫 地斜眼看了看他。由于依然分不清现实与虚幻，在我眼中仿佛看到了一名弗拉维亚王朝 的角斗士。“我能读一下这段对话吗？”他又说道。

就这样，一个美国人和三个旅行到此的意大利人在西班牙马德里的格兰维亚大街上 的一所酒店大厅里分享了这个故事。实际上这是我写的故事，但他们以独特的嗓音用另 外一种我没听过的方式讲述了这个故事。我很容易对某样东西着迷。我经常在跟别人说 话时被他人声音中显露的智慧和内涵所纠缠。我总是想把那一刻的智慧和见解封存到自 己的头脑中，这样我就可以再重新经历一遍。无论是褐色或是黑色，蓝色还是灰色，从 这一双双眼睛里，如果能读懂意图，生活将变成什么样子呢？如果我们能够通过眼神传 达彼此的秘密，会不会在我们的交流中总弥漫着启迪的气息？

在贝茨学院，我能接触到所有我认识的人的生活习惯。这将是陈旧思想的润滑油， 并且能够清除掩盖美丽心灵的灰尘，就像那天我在西班牙的经历一样。我看到自己在哈 桑礼堂前面的树下爬出，上面的树枝燃着火焰，滴落着金色，就像是我第一次来学校时 看到的那样。在我身旁站着我的同学，一个来自台湾，而另外一个答应领我参加生平第 一次的曲棍球赛。我跋涉在他们表达的思想中，并时不时地把我的思想传递给他们。我 很满足，但并不是因为在贝茨学院每天的生活中都在与其他人交换着彼此的哲学思想，

70 第 3 部分 申请文实例

真正的原因是，我在十分钟前并不认识他们，是带着印有山猫图案球棒的男孩把他们介 绍给我的。昨天这个男孩刚巧在这个地方和我谈论生存的价值和印度的恐怖主义，并且 今天正好来这里拿咖啡。贝茨学院的活力是无法被人忽视的。它覆盖在大学的小路上， 装饰在校园的建筑物外。学生们与其他人分享自己的独特个性，他们也无私地付出着， 只是因为知道人不可能获得人生路上的所有东西。就因为这两点，这些学生无时无刻不 在展示着这所大学的精神。我想，我也会像这些同学这样去做的。

文章 28

"What happened?" I screamed, rushing into the room to see what had happened. Four year old Lily was standing next to an overturned book shelf and was about to grab a colorful pack of Skittles now lying on the floor next to a thick leather photo album titled "University of Pennsylvania: the center of Asian-American Love." "Grandchild, you found my college photo album!"

Lily, dumbfounded, looked at her grandmother gleaming at the black book and squeaked, "College? Is that stories?"

Opening the heavy book on a big sofa chair, I laughed. "Yes honey, college is full of great stories. Let me show you."

"Yay," Lily squealed and came over to her grandmother's lap.

I pointed to the first photo. It captured a Frisbee hitting a young woman in the head and a woman next to her like they were dominoes. I pointed at the photo and described to Lily, "This was in the Quad – the center of underclassmen social life and where you could find many flying Frisbees and footballs. I'm this girl wearing the University of Pennsylvania sweater, and this is my Alpha Kappa Delta Phi sorority sister Jenna. As you know, I have an interest for Asian-Americans and the sorority was one of Asian-American interest."

I glanced at Lily lining the skittles on the sofa couch. She wasn't listening. I continued to another photo. "This one had me standing in front of the Crest Room, a room used for film screening that day, next to a Taiwanese woman. The film was going to be a documentary about her narrating her life in San Francisco and how she struggled to maintain and define her Taiwanese culture and identity in midst of the city's multicultural society. I remembered I went to the screening since I was intrigued by a protagonist that sounded so much like myself, and my professor in my Asian-American and Popular Culture course highly suggested that I should attend."

71 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

I flipped to another photo. This time, I was at a table with a huge sign saying "PAACH and Asian Pacific Student Coalition." Addressing my inattentive grandchild I explained, "Lily, this was the NSO Organization Fair. I remembered that day was pretty hectic. The other students who were to help me at the table all had to drop out since they had other club duties or emergencies. Yet, I also had to prepare for the Asian Pacific Student Coalition Welcome Back and Meet & Greet the next day, and I had only signed up for half a shift. I solved the problem though by manning the shift while ordering food for the incoming freshmen with my phone and coming up with the agenda on the back of brochures."

Next photo. In this one, I was smiling next to a big banner reading "Taiwanese Culture Fair." I exclaimed, "Oh Lily, you don't know how satisfied and happy I was the day of that first Taiwanese Culture Fair in University of Pennsylvania! I dreamt for years about organizing such a fair since I started applying to University of Pennsylvania and I finally succeeded pulling it off in senior year! All those school forms I had to fill out in order to clear the space; all those phone calls I make to request Taiwanese musicians, politicians, writers, artists, and students to come and speak; all those sign-up sheets I made to get student volunteers; all those letters written and money paid to get free or cheap propaganda advertising; and all those fundraisers held to get the money; all for the fair – finally paid off!"

In my excitement, I took a side glance at Lily. She was not sharing my excitement. She had dozed off with a smile on her face and her Skittles scattered on the floor. I smiled at my dreaming granddaughter, "Grandchild, one day you would share the same dreams that I had for University of Pennsylvania and watch those dreams come true."

“怎么回事？”我冲进屋子里看到发生的一切后，大声地叫着。4 岁大的莉莉此刻 正站在一个翻倒的书架旁，她是想去抓一组九柱游戏用的五颜六色的小柱子。这些小柱 子此刻正散落在一本叫做“宾夕法尼亚大学：亚裔美国友爱中心”的皮革面的厚影集旁。 “孙女，你找到了我的大学影集了!”我叫道。

莉莉目瞪口呆地望着此时正对着黑色书尖叫的奶奶，并问道，“大学？那个是故事 集么？”

坐在大沙发椅上，打开厚重的影集，我笑了出来。“是的，宝贝，大学充满了很棒的 故事，让我展示给你看看。”

“噢，”莉莉叫了一声，高兴地爬到了奶奶的腿上。

我指着第一张照片。这张照片捕捉到了头被飞盘打到的一位年轻女士，以及身边的

72 第 3 部分 申请文实例

另一位女士像多米诺牌一样摔倒的一瞬间。我指着这张照片，跟莉莉说道，“这个发生在 大学一二年级的学生社会活动中心的四方院里，那时在空中你会发现许多飞盘和足球。 这个穿着宾夕法尼亚大学运动衫的女孩就是我，这是阿尔法卡德尔塔皮亚裔美国女生联 谊会里的詹纳，我的姐妹，你知道么，我对亚裔美国人很感兴趣，而这个女生联谊会就 是为实现亚裔美国人的利益而成立的。”

我扫了一眼莉莉，她正在沙发上摆着九柱游戏的柱子，没有在听我的故事。我又翻 到另一张照片。“这张照片里，我站在一位台湾女士的边上，我们站在那天用来放映电影 的会议室前。在那部纪录片里，她讲述了她在旧金山的生活，以及如何在那个多元文化 的城市里努力坚持并保留台湾人的身份和文化。亚裔美国人和流行文化课程的教授特别 建议我去看那场电影，并且这部电影的主人公和我自己的经历如此的相似，这一点也深 深地吸引了我。”

我翻到另一张照片。这次，我坐在桌子前拿着写着“泛美亚裔社区之家和亚太地区 学生联盟”的一个大的标语牌。我向根本就没有听我说话的孙女解释道，“莉莉，这个是 泛美亚裔新生会组织的义卖活动，我记得那天自己很是忙碌，桌边其他帮我的人因为俱 乐部的任务或是其他紧急情况不得不纷纷离去。其实我也只申请了半班的工作并且也在 准备第二天亚洲太平洋地区学生联盟组织的迎归见面会。但是我还是通过调度人手解决 了当天的问题，同时也顺利地用电话为新生们订了餐，并在小册子背面排完了相关的 日程。”

下一幅照片中，我微笑地站在一个写着“台湾文化节”的大标语边旁。看到了这张 照片，我激动地叫道，“莉莉，你不知道我当时是多么高兴和激动，因为那是第一届台湾 文化节。自从我到宾夕法尼亚大学之后，能够举办这样的一场活动一直都是我的梦想。 在那一刻，我终于在大四学年时成功地实现了梦想。记得那些为了争取场地填过的无数 的表格，那些为了邀请台湾的音乐家、政治家、作家、艺术家、学生来演讲打过的电话， 那些在学生中招募志愿者签过字的单子，那些为了得到免费或便宜的宣传和广告而写的 信和付的费，那些为了筹到钱而举办的筹资晚会，所有为了这场文化节所做的努力终于 有了回报。”

我还在心潮澎湃，然后斜眼看了一下莉莉。她根本没有跟随我的讲述一起兴奋起来。 脸上带着微笑，她睡着了，九柱游戏用的小柱子也散落在地板上。我对进入梦乡的小孙 女笑了笑。“孙女，有一天你会拥有我在宾夕法尼亚大学一样的梦想，并会看到这些梦想 一一实现”。

文章 29

Prompt: Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

73 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

At the age of 13 I didn't much care about the future. My foresight only extended as far as to the end of the week and my biggest worry consisted of that pesky book report I had yet to start. Whenever my parents brought up college they would talk about it in a very resolute manner. My attending T and living at home was simply a fixed truth in their minds; and every time the subject came up I would just smile, and nod dutifully; it wasn't as if I had any plans of my own anyhow.

Months later, just after my 14th birthday, my dad came home looking tired and irritable. I didn't read anything into it and wrote it off as a byproduct of the oppressive heat that had enveloped the city this past week. However, when his dour mood persisted for three consecutive days, my explanation was looking increasingly flimsy.

By the sixth day his mood had settled into one of quiet defeat. He sat with one of his Philosophy books in hand, looking pensive and sad. I sat down next to him on our lumpy couch as he broke the room's heavy silence. He began talking about how miserable he had been at work lately. He then segued into the topic of his parents, how they had forced their dreams onto him. When he had finished, he sighed, turned to me with a somber look and said in Spanish, "Mi hijita, encuentra tu vocacion, tu pasion y sigala donde quiera que te lleve. No seas complaciente." (My little girl, find your calling, your passion and follow it wherever it takes you. Don't be complacent.)

My dad's confession and words of advice awakened something in me. Suddenly, I realized I didn't want to settle for easy; I did want something more than this. Of course, I didn't have a clue what that 'something' was, but I knew I wanted to find out. I started to mull everything over, my experiences, and my beliefs; as pieces of the puzzle started falling into place, small slivers of the mystery picture hidden in the canvas began to emerge.

By the time I started high school my convictions had grown stronger, I knew what I believed in. I had also unwittingly begun to discover myself in the process. I discovered I liked winter and relished it's bracing cold winds and found that I loved Literature but had an absolute distaste for Math. These newfound facets revealed that my enthusiasm for reading was something that I wanted to pursue and take to the next level.

Time wore on and as my personality became more clear and defined, so did the mystery picture on the canvas. What had started as an abstract painting had transformed into an almost completely developed photograph, now only slightly blurry. Those remaining patches of fog cleared up spectacularly after our move to Seattle. One week in the city was all it took for me to fall in love with it, its towering snow capped

74 第 3 部分 申请文实例 mountains, the bustling atmosphere downtown. The ten months I spent in Seattle put my obscure picture in focus. I knew exactly where I wanted to be.

My dad once said to me that it was a shame that he had discovered his passion for Philosophy so late in life and that I was lucky to know what I wanted so early in mine. The conversations I had with my dad are the things I remember most about growing up. Looking back on it, it still surprises me how drastically my outlook on life was changed by a simple story and two sentences, gravely spoken in Spanish, 'Mi hijita, encuentra tu vocacion, tu pasion y sigala donde quiera que te lleve. No seas complaciente.'

在 13 岁的时候，我一点都没有想过未来。我最远能够想到一周以后，我担心的就 是我还没有完成烦人的读后感。每次父母谈到报考大学的时候，他们就很坚定，让我上 T 学校并且走读，这是他们早就为我想好了的计划。每次谈到这个话题的时候，我只是 顺从地微笑，点点头而已，反正现在我也没有自己的计划。

我过完 14 岁生日之后的几个月里，爸爸每次回到家看起来都很累，也很急躁。在这 个被闷热的夏天包围的城市里，我什么书都看不进去。然而，他糟糕的心情持续了 3 天， 我的安慰看起来也没有了价值。

在第 6 天的时候，他的心情非常失落，看起来有些忧愁和悲伤，手里拿着他那本哲 学书坐在那儿。当他在屋内开始讲话的时候，我就在他旁边那凹凸不平的沙发上坐了下 来。他跟我讲最近他上班时的痛苦。然后继续把话题转到了他的父母身上，怎么把他们 的梦想强加给他。话结束的时候，他叹了一口气，然后转过来对我用西班牙语说了句“我 的小女儿啊，不管怎么样一定要找到自己的理想，找到自己的爱好，千万不要自满。”

爸爸的表白和建议唤醒了我。突然，我意识到，我不想这么容易地生活。我想要更 多的东西。当然，我还不知道我想要什么，但我想要弄清楚。我思考了很多，我的个人 经历，我的信念。各块拼图开始各归其位，掩藏在帆布后面的神秘图片开始显现。

在我上高中的时候，我的信念变得越来越强烈。我知道我的信念。我不经意间发现 自己在人生道路上走着。我发现我喜欢的是冬天，喜欢它的冷风。我又发现自己喜欢文 学，但是我百分百地厌恶数学，这些新发现的事实，显露出了我对文学的热情，这才是 我真正想要追求的东西，并且希望在这方面更上一层楼。

随着时间的流逝，我的个性变得更加清晰和明确，同样那幅秘密的帆布画也越来越 清晰了。由最初的一幅抽象图画，转变成了一张几乎完全显现的照片，仅存稍许模糊了。 在搬到西雅图之后，照片上的这些少数雾迹也被消除干净了。仅在西雅图度过了一周， 我完全爱上了这座城市。那里有被雪塔盖住山脉，有繁华商业区的气氛。在西雅图度过 的 10 个月内，我在模糊的照片上找到了焦点。我明白了自己想要什么。

75 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

爸爸曾经跟我说，他最惋惜的事是老了以后他才找到自己对哲学的激情。我觉得我 很幸运，这么小的时候就找到自己的爱好。我跟爸爸的那次对话在我成长过程中对我的 影响很深。回头想一想，当年爸爸说的简单的两句话彻底改变了我对人生的态度。我还 记得爸爸用西班牙语说的那句话“我的小女儿啊，不管怎么样一定要找到自己的理想， 找到自己的爱好，千万不要自满。”

文章 30

Prompt: Attach an essay indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University.

The quiet Hispanic family prayed as the volunteers began to fervently serve food to the hundred or so homeless people seated in the Shared Bread food kitchen's dining area. Whereas others tended to greedily take a plate from my hands before I even set it down, this family always kindly thanked me for the food and passed the first plates I set down to their grandmothers and children first. In a situation where it would be understandable for them to think of only themselves, they instead showed kindness and respect that humbled me.

Although I could not continue my service at Shared Bread due to its distant location, the volunteering opportunity helped me to witness how the less fortunate lived in reality. Hence, the volunteering opportunities that colleges offered became an important factor in weighing which school would best fit me. Coming upon the George Washington University's website after reading about the school in one of the thick college guidebooks at Borders, I became increasingly interested in its Neighbors Project, which would help me to interact with any of the nonprofit organizations that is associated with the school. Also, GWU's Freshman Day of Service is the only such event I have heard of that is hosted by a university and its focus to honor veterans holds a special meaning for me because of my late grandfather's service in the Korean War being recognized with a burial in the Seoul National Cemetery. For me, GWU's involvement with its city conveys its well-roundedness clearly.

However, I am not merely impressed by the school's notable activities students can partake in to get involved with the community; the school's academic opportunities intrigue me equally, if not more. As an eager business prospective student, how could I ignore the recognitions the George Washington School of Business boast? Ranking as 38th on the 2009 list of U.S. New & World Report's America's Best Undergraduate Business Programs, GWSB not only provides students excellent faculty for the

76 第 3 部分 申请文实例 intellectual preparation for the future , but also programs and services for hands-on experiences. Undoubtedly, transitioning from the small world of high school into the real world of college will instill both fears of excitement and apprehension. And for that reason, the First Year Development Program of GWSB will be perfect in extinguishing my anxiety and igniting my passion for business management even further because of the assistance I will receive and the mentors I will meet. The GWSB Paris Study Abroad program as well as the myriad of distinguished speakers who visit, such as the FedEx CEO, Frederick Smith, will only continue to motivate me to becoming a successful businesswoman.

I consider GWU to be the best fit for all of my needs as a humble student who wishes to give back to those in need and as an enthusiastic businesswoman-to-be. I believe that the knowledge I will gain in and out of the university will aid me to become a better person in general.

志愿者开始热情地给坐在“有食同享组织”厨房用餐区的上百个无家可归的人供应 食物，此时这个西班牙家庭开始安静地祈祷。还没把盘子放在桌上，一些馋嘴的人从我 的手中直接就把盘子抢下来，与这些人相反，这个家庭的人总是友善地向提供食物的我 表示感谢，并且把我放下来的盘子先递给他们的长辈和孩子们。在这种场合下，如果只 顾自己的利益的话，是完全可以被人们理解的，但是他们的礼貌和善良确实很是让我感 到敬佩和惭愧。

因为路途遥远，我不能继续为这个组织提供服务了。但有幸当这次志愿者让我看到 并了解了现实中穷苦人民过着什么样的生活。因此我判断一所大学合适与否的一个重要 因素就变成了它能提供什么样的志愿者机会。在博德斯时，我在一本厚厚的大学指南里 读到了关于乔治·华盛顿大学的介绍，读完之后我也浏览了这所大学的网页。我对这所 大学的邻里互助计划特别的感兴趣。因为它能够让我有机会与所有与这所学校有关的非 营利组织进行交流。同时，乔治·华盛顿大学的大一新生服务日也是我第一次听说的活 动，这个活动是由学校主办的，并把向老兵致敬当成其宗旨。我的爷爷参加过朝鲜战争， 而且为了肯定和嘉奖他在战争中的表现，他被葬在首尔国家公墓。因此这个活动对于我 来说有着特殊的意义。此外，乔治·华盛顿大学积极参与所在城市的建设和活动，对于 我来说，这充分地表达着其作为一所综合性的大学。

然而，我不只是对学生们在这所学校里可以参加和分享丰富多彩的活动印象深刻， 这所学校的学术机会也同样吸引着我。作为一名对商业充满热情和憧憬的学生，我怎么 可能忽视这所大学在商业教育上所取得的骄人成绩？在 2009 年美国新闻与世界报道评 出的最佳本科商业教育项目的名单中，这所学校排名第 38 位。乔治·华盛顿大学的商 学院不仅提供优秀的教学队伍和资源，让学生为未来储备充足的知识，而且他们还提供

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可以实践的相关项目和服务。毫无疑问，从高中的小世界过渡到大学的大舞台的过程中， 我们会很兴奋，同时也会十分的担忧。这所大学商学院的第一年发展项目可以很好地消 除我这样的担心，同时点燃我学习经济管理知识的热情，进一步说，这个计划也可以为 我的学习起到辅助作用，并让我遇到学业上引路的导师。乔治·华盛顿大学商学院还有 海外巴黎学习计划，也会经常邀请商界名人像联邦快递 CEO 弗雷德里希·斯密斯等来做 演讲，这些都不断地激励着我，让我为能够成为一名成功的女商人而努力奋斗。

作为一名想要救人于水火的普通学生和一名热情的准女企业家，我认为乔治·华盛 顿大学能满足我成为这两者的所有需要。我相信自己在这所大学期间学到的知识和经验 会帮助我在各个方面都表现得很出色。

文章 31

Standing in front of the enormous memorial stone wall of Nanking Massacre victim list, I was shuddering. A strange thought obsessed my mind: How could a nation which was is generally acknowledged as civilized and courteous conduct such gruesome atrocities in its neighboring country? Myriad pictures recording the process of the slaughter revealed the darkest history of my hometown: crowds of wounded soldiers, elderly women and children on streets were randomly shot by Japanese soldiers; large mountains of charred corpses were piled up in the streets, by ponds and lakes; macabre burning Chinese soldiers scrabbled to death in front of the sardonic killers; countless dead bodies of adults and children overlaid the whole Yangtze River and turned it into"river of blood".

"They were frantic killers," I said, "A group of alleged civilized men who had lost their humanity". But suddenly, my grandfather’s words resonated in my ears: "they were not that bad; at least they treated me politely." The contrary voice of my grandfather kept echoing and gradually drew me back to the conversation I had with him: "Where were you when the carnage started? You had been born by that time, hadn't you?" lying on my stomach, I asked my grandfather with curiosity.

"I was working in a Japanese factory，which was distant from the downtown area."

"Were you afraid? Japanese are brutal!"

"No, they are not. They treated us workers nicely."

"Don’t you hate them? They did inexcusable killing."

"Their savage act is unforgivable, but I was also impressed at their courtesy and

78 第 3 部分 申请文实例 soberness. Honestly saying, Japanese is a nation worth reverence in my opinion. "

…

Calling these memories to mind now, I am confused at the manifest paradox between what the barbaric looting Japanese did in history and my grandfather’s high comment on them: Japanese’s urbane and civil manners are such world-wide renown that they have been considered as a gentle and polite nation throughout the time. From the neat and orderly Tokyo Olympic Venue after every match, people all over the world could hardly be unimpressed at Japanese’s refinement. However, if Japanese are like what my grandfather and most people deemed, how could they have exerted those inhuman slaughters on the innocent people in China then?

These conflicting experiences triggered my interest and prompted me to indulge in extensive readings on historical facts. I find that the contradiction behind the civilization not only exists in Japanese, but also lurks in almost every page in the human history: on the time-honored and elegant land of Europe, Germany’s mass slaughter on Jewish people during World War Two stunned the whole world; as a civilized, rigorous nation, German exerted enormous inhuman torture on another innocent nation under the name of purifying the nation. What factors actually drove those enlightened Europeans to carry out such immoral butcher? How could their savage behaviors match their renowned grace and lenity?

On the neoteric and young land of North America, there are societies and cultures which are always widely considered as the ideal modality around the world. It is the heaven of freedom and equality which advocates the concept of equity among every man. People can also enjoy constitutional lives which are guaranteed by a sound legal system. Modern human civilized society is well actualized in the soil of the North America. However, I also know that a hundred years ago, there were violent massacres behind the enlightened societies; those great heroes of North America also had myriad amount of aboriginal people’s blood on their hands. Their native brothers were simply considered as the hinderers on their way to prosperity and were driven out relentlessly.

Throughout the human history, there were incessant entanglements and confrontations. It seems that peace and goodness are nothing but only glosses concealing human’s dark desire and hatred. But I would rather believe that humans’ good virtues are all real and solid, as Chinese old saying says: "people are born good despite the brutalism on the battlefields." Since the nature of human is good, could the world be as beautiful as it appears to be? Why can’t the world be free from killings and indignation? Why can’t

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the world be free from the holocaust in wars? Why can’t the world be free from 911 event and living bombs?

If I had the magic wand which could recreate the world, I would draw a new world which would be full of lenience and mutual comprehension; if I had the magic powder of Lethe, I would relieve all the enmities and estrangements between nations. I wish that all humans could live in equity, harmony and amity. As Francois Fenelon said: "All wars are civil war, because all men are brothers," we are one.

站在南京大屠杀遇难者纪念碑前，我瑟瑟发抖。一个奇怪的问题涌上心头：为什么 一个公认的文明谦恭的民族会对它的邻国施以如此恐怖的暴行？无数的照片记录着屠杀 的过程，昭示了我的家乡经历的最黑暗的一段历史：日本兵肆无忌惮地射杀受伤的中国 士兵、老人和儿童；在池塘和湖泊边的街上，烧焦的尸体堆积如山；在面带冷笑的屠夫 面前，身体被火焰包裹的中国士兵挣扎着，然后恐怖地死去。漂浮在河面上数不清的大 人和小孩的尸体将扬子江变成了一条“血河”。

我想，他们是疯狂的屠夫，是一群自称文明却毫无人性的家伙。但祖父的话突然出 现在我的耳畔：“他们不是那么坏。至少他们对我还是客气的。”祖父截然不同的观点萦 绕在我的脑中，渐渐让我回想起我和他的一段对话。“大屠杀开始的时候你在哪？那时候 你已经出生了，是吧？”我趴在那里，好奇地问着祖父。

“我当时正在一个日本人开的工厂里做工。那里离市中心很远。”

“那你还怕吗？日本人是禽兽！”

“不，他们不是。他们对我们工人很好。”

“难道你不恨他们吗？他们的行为是不能宽恕的。”

“他们的野蛮行径是不可以原谅，但是他们的礼貌和理智也让我印象深刻。说句实 话，我个人认为，日本这个民族是值得尊敬的。”

……

在我的记忆里，祖父对日本人的好评和他们在历史上犯下的野蛮暴行是矛盾的，这 使得我很困惑。日本人的彬彬有礼世界闻名，因此他们一直以来都被认为是一个文雅而 且有礼貌的民族。每次比赛后整洁的东京奥林匹克街道很难不让全世界对文明的日本人 印象深刻。但是，如果日本人真的像祖父和世人认为的那样，那么他们怎么能在中国对 无辜人们进行兽性屠杀呢？

这些矛盾的经历引起了我的兴趣，促使我进行大量史实资料阅读。我发现矛盾的文 明不只在日本人的身上出现，它几乎隐藏在人类历史的每一页上。在拥有悠久文明历史

80 第 3 部分 申请文实例

的欧陆上，德国人二战时对犹太人的大屠杀震惊世人。文明而严谨的德国以净化种族名 义对一个无辜的民族进行惨无人道的蹂躏。到底是什么原因使得那些文明的欧洲人做 出如此残忍的屠杀行为？他们的野蛮行径如何与他们文明优雅的气质和宽大的胸怀相 匹配？

在年轻的新北美大陆上，有被世界广泛认可的社会及文化形态。这里是自由的天堂， 在这里提倡人人平等的理念。在健全的法律体系保障下，人们享受着由宪法保护的生活。 在北美大陆的土壤中已经孕育出现代人类文明的社会。但是，我也知道，就在一百年前， 文明社会的背后有暴力的屠杀，那些北美英雄的双手也沾满了土著人的血。他们的本地 兄弟被统统当做他们通往繁荣的阻碍，并被无情地驱赶。

纵观人类历史，纠缠与对抗从没停止。似乎和平与善良只不过是掩盖人类阴暗的欲 望和仇恨的遮羞布。但是我更愿意相信，人类美好的品德是真实且可靠的，就像中国古 语所说：“人之初，性本善。”由于人类本质是善良的，那么真实的世界能够像其表象一 样美丽吗？为什么世人不能摆脱仇恨与杀戮？为什么世界不能免于在战争中被损毁？为 什么世界不能避免“9.11”事件和人弹的发生？

如果我有再造世界的魔杖，我将创造一个充满仁慈与相互理解的世界。假如我有抹 去记忆的魔法，我将消除种族间的仇恨和敌意。我希望人类可以生活在平等、和谐、友 善的环境中。正如弗朗西斯·费内隆所说：“诸战事皆内战，唯因四海内皆兄弟。”我们 就是其中的一员。

文章 32

When I was eight years old, I told my mother that I wanted to be a veterinarian. Being the go-getter that my mother is, she immediately called a friend of hers whose husband happened to be a vet. Dr. B happily agreed to let me come to his office and help out with the pets. However, after I had cheerfully cleaned, petted, and played with the animals for a few hours, Dr. B decided to show me something he deemed "really cool:" a large black Lab being spayed. At that time, I had never seen a gory, R-rated movie and was in no way prepared to see the insides of an unconscious Labrador removed a few feet away from me. I watched from the doorway, trying to pass off the shaking of my legs as general eight-year-old leg tapping, but it was no use. I collapsed.

Strangely enough, this unpleasant event sparked my interest in medicine and human behavior.

During my junior year of high school, I became particularly interested in psychology. Learning about the subject in my Advanced Placement class and through the

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psychology books I began reading in my spare time and it affected everything I did – I suddenly wondered what underlying conditions characters in my favorite novels could be suffering from-basically, what makes people do what they do. The change in thinking made me even more excited about learning new things.

I want to study at Arts and Sciences because, when I visited the university campus, I felt that the college represents all of the things I find important: a passion for discovery; delving deeply into important issues like race, culture, and art; and constantly changing the "film" you see the world through. My goals include becoming a physician in the U.S. Air Force. My fascination with psychology, coupled with my keen interest in medicine and biology, led me to the biopsychology concentration offered by the College of Arts and Sciences. "Social Neuroscience" and "Trauma and Treatment" are two of the many classes that spark my interest. I believe the C University motto says it all: C allows a variety of students to explore a variety of subjects. The diversity of this kind of liberal arts education produced by this approach draws me to the university.

I believe C's College of Arts and Sciences and I are a perfect match. I have broad interests that I would be able to explore while in the college. I yearn to be surrounded by people who, like me, are excited about learning and life. My ambition is to gain education and experiences while being able to call C University my home.

Since the catastrophe of my eight-year-old internship, I have taken multiple Biology and Anatomy classes involving dissections and am proud to say that I have never again felt the least bit faint.

在我 8 岁那年，我跟妈妈说过，我想成为一名兽医。妈妈是一个干练的人，她立刻 给她的朋友打了个电话，她朋友的老公是个兽医。B 医生很高兴地答应了我去他办公室， 并帮忙照顾那些宠物。我高兴地给它们洗澡，爱抚它们。在玩儿了几个小时之后，B 医 生说想让我看他认为“非常酷”的东西：给一只很大的黑色拉布拉多犬做切除卵巢手术。 直到那时候，我从来没有看过血淋淋的 R 级片，也没有准备看一个昏迷的拉布拉多猎狗 的器官被移除。我站在门口，试图控制住颤抖的像跳踢踏舞一样的腿，但还是没用，我 完全崩溃了。

奇怪的是，这次如此不快的经历引起了我对药学和人类行为学的极大兴趣。

在我上高中二年级的时候，我对哲学尤其感兴趣。在我预修班的时候选学的是哲学， 在一些课外的时间阅读的也是哲学知识，这些影响了我做的所有的事。我突然很想知道， 我喜欢的长篇小说里面的角色到底经受着怎样的潜藏痛苦——基本上就是说，什么东西 导致人们去做某件事的。我想法上的一些变化让我对于学习新东西更加兴奋。

82 第 3 部分 申请文实例

我想上科学艺术系，因为当我去这所大学参观的时候，我发现这所大学代表了所有 我认为最重要的东西：探索的热情；对例如种族、文化和艺术等方面的深入钻研；不断 改变观察世界的视角。我的目标包括成为一名美国空军医生。我对心理学的痴迷，再加 上我对药物和生物学的热爱，将我带到科学艺术系提供的生物心理学方面来。“社会神经 学”和“精神创伤和治疗”是最能引起我兴趣的两门课程。我相信 C 大学的箴言是：康 奈尔大学给予来自各个地方的学生探索各种领域的机会。这种自由艺术教学的多样性是 吸引我上这所大学的原因。

我相信，C 大学的科学艺术专业是我绝好的选择。我有很广的个人兴趣，并且想在 大学期间进行探索。我渴望跟像我一样想学习人交流，我所希望的是能叫 C 大学一声母 校，同时还能学习和积累经验。

8 岁那年不幸的实习经历以后，我参加了多种涉及剖视的生理科和解剖科，我能很 自豪地说，我再也没有感到过丝毫的虚弱。

五、有深刻意义的人或事

文章 33

"Ain’t No Mountain High Enough"

"Come on Joe, let’s go ahead of them slowpokes," I beckoned my 14-year-old cousin to move at a quicker pace. The damp earth felt cushion-like underneath my weight. The brisk morning air awakened my spirits. Soft beads of sweat collected on my back as I laboured to a higher elevation. It felt delightful and relaxing to push myself up. I liked the feeling that my muscles contract while they worked. I wanted to reach the top of the mountain quickly dreaming about what a mountain hermit’s life would be, but Joe was too reluctant.

"Don’t go anywhere beyond my sight," mother instructed promptly.

I turned my head away only after catching a glimpse of my mother’s anxious countenance. I could understand, after all, it was bear season, and I was only ten. However, Joe’s expression of apathy annoyed me.

Then, something caught my attention: a single sprig of life springing from the mossy darkness of decay and decomposition. The delicacy of such existence captivated me, and I stood there petrified, letting the beauty permeate my inner soul. My attention was averted when silence pervaded the dense, dark forest. As I hustled to catch up to

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the rest of my family who were miles ahead, at the same time singing "Ain’t No Mountain High Enough" to myself, along the jagged trail, I saw a glimpse of their shadows in the bright afternoon air – yes, it took all day to trek that trail. My cousin saw me zoom pass him and followed. I made a face. Neither the calls of the Grey Jay nor the fallen ancient cedars escaped my senses during the climb.

"Wow! Look at that gigantic fungus!" I called out.

My father helped me capture the behemoth on a digital screen.

Finally we were on top of the world. Exhausted, but elated, I stood with triumph on top of Grouse Mountain. I was short of breath and dazzled by the scenery, but I had dominated another hiking trail. Ever since that day, I looked forward to hiking trips every summer; hiking became a part of my family’s leisure activities. I have even made a mental checklist of all the park trails we would need to tread on in Vancouver – Gladstone-Elliot Parks, Admiralty Point Trail….

That day was well imbedded into my memories. I cannot help but realize that almost every detail of the journey could reflect my experiences in life. I also learnt that in order to taste true victory, I needed to be independent, to use my own feet, and not to ask for unnecessary help. I could only taste the fruits of my labour after I had worked hard on it. And while I was working hard, I could either complain about the endless pains, or just enjoy every precious moment. I would choose the latter outlook rather than the former.

I also realized that many moments during the hike were reflective of my life’s struggles. Playing the same section of the music piece that our community band was to perform at the local hospital fundraiser because I could not play it right and having a writer’s block for the next article I was supposed to write for the school’s Phoenix Newspaper were two things which were exactly like climbing up a ceaseless acclivity. But in the end, a tremendous battle was won. I had achieved to play Allo Rondo Turca on my flute at 110 beats per minute. I had experienced my first job at McDonalds.

Of course I did not just stop there. I carried through with the rest of the day; it felt like the going home part of the day’s trip. I climbed down the mountain to return to my comfortable desk at home. The same thing happened in life too. I continued through with the amount of work and energy I put into my job at McDonalds. Even when I felt like my knees were about to give away, I still managed to finish my shift. I nevertheless continued to smile at the customers even if some of them were completely

84 第 3 部分 申请文实例 unreasonable. I still maintained a working schedule to practice my flute even though I was not feeling up to it or I was extremely busy with schoolwork.

That night I had a dream, in which I was scaling this mountain that reached to the heavens. All around me were people close to me. They, like me, were trying their hardest to reach the top. I saw my grandparents and my friends ahead of me. Then, I got to understand a bit better Nietzsche’s words: "If you would go up high, then use your own legs! Do not let yourselves carried aloft; do not seat yourselves on other people's backs and heads." After all, no one was going to get to the peak for me. Eventually, I would get there on my own.

Hiking gave me joys beyond imagination. I came to understand life better each time I traveled along a new trail. I wonder how many other "roads less traveled" there are out there for me to explore and conquer.

“无论山高路远”

“来吧，乔，让我们超过他们这帮慢人，”我召唤着我 14 岁大的表弟，让他走的快 一点。我脚下湿润土壤的感觉就像是踩在软垫上一样，清晨的空气让我们感到神清气爽。 在我努力向高处攀爬的过程中，汗珠从我的后背不断渗出。但我却喜欢这种不断激励自 己向上行进的感觉，它让我感到开心和放松，运动时不断的收缩肌肉也让我很是喜欢。 此刻，我想着要尽快到达顶峰并体验退隐山林的感觉，但乔对此却是十分不情愿。

“不要离开我的视线，”我的妈妈立即叮嘱道。

看了一眼妈妈忧虑的表情，我马上把头转到了另一边。我可以理解她的忧虑，因为 现在是熊出没的季节，而且我只有 10 岁大。然而，乔对此不屑的表情却让我十分恼怒。

就在这时，有样东西引起了我的注意：那是一颗嫩芽，它生长在长满苔藓的黑乎乎 的腐烂分解物上。这个微妙的小生物让我着迷，我呆呆地站在那里看着它。这种美透入 了我的心扉。当寂静侵袭到整个浓密并且黑蒙蒙的深林中时，我的注意力又转了回来。 所以我加紧步伐去追赶几英里外的家人，我一边走在盘错的小径上，一边给自己唱着“无 论山高路远”这首歌，不久，我在午后的明亮的空气里依稀看到了他们的身影。这样的 小径确实需要整天的跋涉。我的堂兄看我慢慢地走近并超过了他，所以他也尾随了过来。 我朝他做了个鬼脸。一路上，无论是灰鸦的叫声还是老雪松倒下的声音都没有逃过我的 耳朵。

“哇噢！快看那个大蘑菇，”我叫了出来。

爸爸赶紧用数码相机抓拍了这个庞然大物。

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最后，我们终于爬到山的顶峰。虽然精疲力竭，但我却很是得意。摆着胜利的姿势， 我站到了高斯山的山顶上。气喘吁吁的我发现眼前的景象让人目眩，但是我可以宣告， 我又征服了一条新的远足路线。从那天起，我就开始期待每个夏天的远足旅行。远足成 了我家庭休闲不可缺少的一个活动。我在头脑中甚至画了一张远足路线的清单，里面列 举了所有温哥华值得去的公园路线，像达格拉斯顿-艾略尔特公园、海事点路……

那一天的旅行深深地印进了我的记忆里。我不禁反思起来，这次旅行的每个细节都 可以反映出我的生活吗？我懂得了为了品尝真正的胜利，人需要变得独立，要脚踏实的， 还要尽量避免去索要不必要的帮助。只有在真正认真勤奋的工作后，你才能真正的品尝 劳动的果实。在勤奋工作时，我可以为无尽劳累叫苦不迭，也可以享受每个珍贵的时刻， 两者之中我更情愿放弃前者而选择后者。

我也意识到旅行的时时刻刻都在反映我的奋斗经历。有两次经历与我爬山的经历如 出一辙。一件是由于我的错误，我们的社区乐队在当地医院筹资的宴会上反复演奏同一 段曲子；另一件是我在给学校的凤凰报上投稿写文章的时候，思路阻塞。但是在最后这 两次经历上我都取得了成功，结果是我能够用笛子以每分钟 110 的拍子来演奏土耳其进 行曲了，我也在麦当劳开始了第一份工作。

当然，我也没有驻足不前。接下来的时间，我一直在前行，就好像感觉回家的路也 是这天旅行的一部分一样。下了山，我回到了家里，舒适地坐在桌子前。我想起了同样 的情形在我的生活中发生过。以同样的精力和努力，我完成了麦当劳的工作。即使是我 生病时感觉根本无法站稳的时候，我依然努力地坚持。面对客户，我也坚持微笑，即使 他们有时很过分。还有就是我学习笛子的经历，尽管觉得自己无法掌握演奏技巧，而且 学业又是非常的忙，我仍然制定并坚持了一个计划去练习笛子。

那一晚我做了一个梦，梦中的我在爬向一座通往天堂的高山。我的亲人朋友围在我 的身边也像我一样尽最大努力向顶峰攀爬。看着前面的爷爷奶奶和朋友们，我开始理解 尼采所说的“你如果你想到达更高，不要让自己被别人抬上去，也不要骑在别人的头上、 坐在别人的背上，要用自己的双腿爬上去!”这句话。归根到底没有人会替别人到达顶峰， 我还是要靠自己到达那里。

远足给了我超出想象的快乐。我也逐渐意识到，当每次走过一条新路的时候，我对 生命的体会就会又加深一点。我真的很想知道，会有多少别人没有走过的路在等着我去 探寻和征服。

文章 34

Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

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Through the travels of our existence, we meet many kinds of people; some go away, others stay for a while, and some others stay forever. In my life, the last category includes my best friend, M. To her, I write these lines.

Everything started by working in the same homework group; it was then that we clicked. We felt that incredible connection and we continued working together. Afterwards, we not only stayed together in classes when it was time to work in groups, but also during breaks. We realized that we had more in common than just the ideas on how to do homework. Time elapsed, and we became inseparable.

I remember the saying: "Tell who you hang out with, and I will tell you who you are". This works perfectly with Monica and me, because her personality has imprinted a seal in me and when looking at her I have a real mirror of who I am.

Together, we learned what sharing is about. Everything I have, she can take: from a new colored pencil to the food I had for lunch.

She is the greatest model of honesty I have. I remember a time when we had a long struggle trying to convince some classmates that cheating in exams was not a good idea at all. We both shared the same opinion and tried to transmit it to our friends in school. Furthermore, she always tells me when I am doing something wrong, going straight to the point. Sometimes it was hard, because we are blind to our own errors, but because of her, I have learned to be tolerant.

She has also taught me how to be conscientious. Her mom has raised her and her two brothers by herself. While they would demand that their mother should buy them new pairs of Nike shoes every year, M would refrain from asking her mom to buy for several years. She confessed to me that she needed one, but she didn´t want to make her mom feel bad for not having enough money to buy it.

M is my strongest support. She always has the right words to cheer me up. We understand each other so well that many times a silent glances exchange is enough to understand what the other is thinking. She has also taught me to be confident in myself. She believes in me more than anyone else; even when I failed to do so, she was there to make reborn my hope. I can hear her voice telling me: "You will do big things, I am sure of that. And I will be the happiest for your success".

Unlike family, which we do not chose; which ties are unbreakable and exist forever even if wanted or not, with friends it is different. They stays only if they want to, they are not bound to give love; they are not bound to bear your bad moments. With Monica

87 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

I have learned that friendship is real, that true friendship exists and it is much better than I could have imagined it would be.

在人生旅途中，我们会遇到各式各样的人，一些人会离开，一些人会做短暂停留， 而另外一部分人会永远留在你的身边。在我的生命中，最后的那种人指的就是我最好的 朋友 M。我想这篇文章来表达我对她的敬意。

我和她的友情从在同一个作业小组学习开始的，也就是在那时我们一见如故。我们 彼此都感觉到这种不可思议的联系，并继续一起努力地学习。一段时间过后，我们不仅 在班里分组学习时在一起，课间休息也形影不离。我们也发现不只是在一起做家庭作业 时观点一致，在其他许多方面都有共同的想法。随着时间的流逝，我们感觉彼此再也无 法分开。

我想起了那句名言“物以类聚，人以群分”。这句话正好适用于我和莫尼卡，因为她 的性格在我的心里深深烙上了印记，看着她仿佛就像看了镜子里的自己一样。

在一起的时光让我们理解了分享是什么样的概念。从一只崭新的铅笔到我的午餐， 她可以拿走我所有的东西。

在我心里，她是诚实的典范。还记得当时那段时间，我们费尽口舌说服班里的同学， 让他们相信考试作弊是不好的。我们也分享了许多共同的观点，并努力把它们传达给我 们学校的同学。而当我做错了事的时候，她也总是能直截了当地指出来。接受别人的指 责有时是很难的，因为人们总是看不到自己犯的错误。然而正是因为她的存在，让我学 会了包容和忍耐。

她也教会了我要如何具备责任心。她的妈妈独自把她和她的两个兄弟带大。每年她 的兄弟们都会向妈妈索要新的耐克鞋，而 M 却能控制自己，好几年才会要一双新鞋。她 曾对我吐露过心里话，她自己其实很想要新的鞋子，但她不想看到妈妈因为没钱买而感 到难过的样子。

M 是我的坚强后盾。她总会找到合适的词来给我打气。我们互相太过了解，以至于 一个无声的眼神交换可以让我们了解对方的想法。她比任何人都相信我并教会我要自 信，当我无法拾回自信的时候，她就会出现来重建我的希望。我总能在耳边听到她的声 音：“你可以完成伟大的事业，我相信你。我会为你的成功感到无比自豪的。”

家人是我们无法选择的，家人之间的联系是无法扭断的。不论你是否需要这个纽带， 它会永远存在。与此相反，朋友却是不同的。他们只有想留下来的时候才会留下来，他 们也不必付出关爱，不必去忍受你的情绪。但与莫尼卡交往的经历推翻了我之前所有想 象，让我认识到友情是可以真实存在的。

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文章 35

Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

I closely listened to the rain pound against the glass as a sudden clap of thunder nearly made me fall out of my bed in terror. Without a second thought I grabbed my pillow as I stumbled across the darkness of my room towards my mother's bed. "Mommy, can I come in bed with you?" I whispered to her. She stretched out her arms and pulled me in close to her. Suddenly, in my seven-year-old mind, I was no longer afraid.

Growing up, I now know how difficult life was for my mother. For a long time, it was just she and I living alone in our tiny little apartment. We didn't have a luxurious life, and some nights it was a struggle to simply get dinner on the table. But as hard as it was, she never failed to give me everything I needed. For my own sake she never let the troubles we had show, she put a smile on her face and would not let her hardships have any effect on me. She was so strong, and not once did she complain about how stressful it was to be a single mother. This is a quality I am proud to say I have gained from her. I am a strong person, and it is all because of her. Without her loving voice guiding me through life, telling me "I can" whenever I said "I can not," I would not have the confidence that I have today to achieve anything that I set my mind to. She has showed me that nothing is impossible- and that even though sometimes it may seem like there is no hope, you can overcome it. She always used to say to me, that there will be times where you feel like you "hit the wall." You will feel like you cannot continue, and you will think there is no possible solution to the problem at hand, but it is important that you do not give up. No matter what it is you do to break through the "wall"- try a different approach, take a break from the dilemma and come back to it later with a fresh perspective- you have to persevere. And when I did hit my own metaphorical "wall," she was there to continue to believe in me. Without her there to inspire me, I would not have the strength and perseverance that I have today.

Having to raise a child on her own, my mother was very independent. She did not have many people to depend on, so she learned to become reliant on herself. Her profound independence has rubbed off on me and helped me find my own independence. She gave me just enough separation from her so that I still had her complete support, but I also was free to have my own experiences, free to make my own mistakes and learn from them by myself. It gave me just enough independence so that I am now comfortable and confident with the idea of going out into the real world on my own

89 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

next year.

As I lay awake in bed and listen to the rumbling thunder, and the downpour against my window, I am reminded of the past. I know that I have nothing to fear any longer; the support of my mother has eased me not only through this simple situation, but through many others as well. The numbers of ways in which she has inspired me, changed me, and has molded my personality are countless. I am lucky to have such an inspirational person in my life, someone who is so selfless, so compassionate, and who supports me no matter what the circumstance. She has given me the confidence that I need to move forward in my life. Thanks to her, I know that if I persevere and never give up on myself, I am capable of succeeding in college, as well as later on in life. It is this kind of inspiration that my mother gives me that I look up to her for- I hope that I may one day be as inspirational to another as she has been to me.

我正仔细地听着雨点敲打着窗户的声音，突然雷声隆隆，吓得我差点从床上掉下来。 想也没想我马上抓起枕头，蹒跚着穿越黑暗来到妈妈的床前。“妈咪，我能跟你一起睡 么？”我小声地对她说。她张开手臂，把我拉入怀中。那一刻，在我 7 岁的心灵里，我 不再感到害怕。

长大后，我才知道生活对母亲来说是多么的艰难。在很长的一段时间里，都只有她 和我孤单地住在我们狭小的公寓里。没有奢侈的生活，甚至在某些夜晚，做简单的一顿 晚餐都是个问题。尽管如此艰难，她总能满足我需要的一切。因为她为我着想，从不在 我面前显露难色，脸上总是挂着笑容，不让艰难的生活对我有任何影响。她是如此坚强， 从来没抱怨过作为一个单身母亲有多么大的压力。我可以骄傲地说，我身上的这种品质 是来源于她。我之所以坚强，完全是因为有她。如果没有她慈爱的声音引导着我的人生， 在我不自信的时候告诉我“你可以”，我也不会有现在的信心去追求我向往的东西。她让 我明白没有不可能的事情，尽管有些时候看起来没有任何希望，你仍然可以克服困难。 她过去常常告诉我，会有一种让你陷入“绝境”的时候，你会感觉好像无法再坚持下去 并对面前的难题束手无策，但是记住不要放弃——这是最重要的。不管你想怎样来突破 “绝境”，记住要去多尝试不同的办法，也可以在两难中休息一下，然后再想出独特的解 决方法，关键一点是你必须要坚持。然而当我真的陷入那样的“绝境”时，她会在我身 边一如既往地支持我。假如没有她在身边激励我，我想我也不可能有今日的坚强与坚定。

完全靠自己独立抚养着我，母亲可以说是独立性很强的一个人。没有太多的人可以 依赖，她学会了依靠自己。她的独立深深影响了我，帮我找到了自己的独立性。她跟我 保持恰到好处的距离，使我仍然可以得到她全部的支持，同时，我也可以自由地去生活、 去犯错，并从错误中学习。这恰好赋予我足够的独立性，使我相信自己明年可以轻松自 信地步入社会。

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此时躺在床上，听着窗外隆隆雷声，倾盆大雨敲打着窗户，我不禁想起从前。我知 道，我已不再害怕什么；母亲的支持让我安心，这不仅仅表现在让我可以经受住此时此 刻的雷雨，还体现在其他很多困难出现的时候。她激励我、改变我、塑造我的方式难以 表达。我很庆幸，在我的生活中有这样的一个人，如此无私，如此善良，在任何情况下 都给予我支持。她给予了我在生活中勇往直前的信心。因为有她，我知道，如果我坚持 不放弃，我就能够上大学，以及在以后的生活中取得成功。这就是她给予我的激励，让 我对她肃然起敬，我希望以后我也可以像她那样去激励别人。

文章 36

Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

"STOP TALKING!" the teacher shouted at the top of her voice, and we could predict who the unkindly message was addressed to without even moving an inch.

D was not what I'd call a role model. In fact, his leadership capabilities lay solely in being the first one to create mischief in the class. He was constantly reprimanded by his parents, teachers and peers alike, because he was ill mannered, disruptive and lacked respect. His round face, chubby appearance and crooked nose made it hard for anyone to take him seriously, and gave him the esteemed title of "class clown"- one he seemed to be proud of. I met Duncan in the 9th grade, and it was an experience I will never forget.

It was in the middle of the school year when we formerly met. Previously, we had only exchanged eye contact on the odd occasion even though we were in the same homeroom class. By then we had all created and joined little "cliques" with people of similar interest and background. His was with two boys who were, to put it mildly, on the wrong side of the fence. Ironically enough, the first AND last initials of their names spelt B.A.D when arranged properly (their names were Bert Brown, Annif Abrahams and Duncan Daley). These three musketeers were busy fighting battles of their own, with the teachers instead of their schoolwork.

We had three classes together, English Language, Information Technology and Mathematics- my favorite. Regardless of the class I could always predict what he was up to, let it be fighting the powers of sleep, leaving his signature on the desks and chairs or distracting the person next to him- it was anything but schoolwork. His ability to keep talking was unmatched- something he was not afraid to prove!

91 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

It was in math class that I had the pleasure (or displeasure) of working with him. The teacher assigned a handful of students who were stronger in the subject area to group up with those less equipped. I was assigned to work with eight students, D included. At first I was a little reluctant to work with him. I felt that no progress could be made with someone who cared little or none at all about his own future. As the saying goes, "You can carry a donkey to the river, but you can't force him to drink!" Nevertheless I proceeded to see what could be done.

Immediately he stood out from the rest of the group. He was larger and louder than the others, and his attention span was infinitesimal. His illegible handwriting and reluctance to participate made it even more frustrating to work with him. With a test creeping up on us, I soon began to focus on the other students in the group, who were showing progress and willing to learn.

When the results came back I was more than pleased. My group had improved their grades by at least ten percent, one student even scoring above me- all except D. He was still at "square one" and had only himself to blame. The next class I noticed something different. He was busy writing in his notepad, which I quickly accredited to cartoon drawings or scribbles rather than schoolwork. He started participating in my active discussions and work exercises which I had thought was due to the nearing of final examinations. I continued to work with him, explaining concepts, drawing diagrams, even sacrificing lunch a couple of times to go over material. In my eyes tough, it was too late. His last minute spark of interest was commendable, but still, pointless.

Apparently, the joke was on me. When the examination results came back, he scored a whopping 96%, the highest in the class. The teacher was so surprised he remarked the paper three times to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. Even to this day I cannot fully believe it. One thing was evident though- I had underestimated D. His determination and focus allowed him to pull through in the end. He had succeeded not only in his grade, but in making us all realize our own failures. I never stopped to take him seriously or look for his potential and I realized that in every darkness, there is a beam of light waiting to shine.

I am glad he was able to prove me wrong as we all "learn from our mistakes". I like to think of myself as an impartial, non-judgmental person. D showed me that I still have some distance left before I reach there.

“别说话了，”老师用她最大的声音喊了一声，我们动都没动就知道了老师的这句不

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友好的话是针对谁说的。

D 并不是我所说的行为榜样，事实上，他的领导能力仅仅表现在带头制造班里恶作 剧上。他经常遭到父母、老师和同班同学的责备，就因为他举止粗鲁，经常扰乱别人， 也不尊重别人。他那圆圆的脸，胖乎乎的外貌和歪鼻子使得任何人都很难把他当回事， 这下大家就给了他一个绰号“班丑”——这还让他觉得很自豪。我是在九年级的时候遇 见 D 的，那是一次难忘的经历。

我们上次见面是在半个学年前。之前，即使我们在同一个班里上课，也只有在一些 意外场合用眼神交流。后来，我们和有着共同爱好和个人经历的同学一起创立了“朋党” 组。他跟另外两个男孩子，客气点说，就是两个后进生。比较讽刺的是，第一个和最后 一个男孩的名字合理排列的话，拼读成“坏”字(他们的名字分别 Bert Brown、Annif Abrahams 和 Duncan Daley)。这三个火枪手忙着进行自己的战斗，跟他们的老师而不是 跟他们的作业。

我们有三节课是一起上的，英语、信息技术和我最喜欢的数学。即使是在上课，我 也总能预测到他想干什么，要么跟瞌睡打仗，要么就在桌子上刻自己的名字或者扰乱旁 边坐的那个人——除了写作业之外，他什么坏事都干。他说话的能耐是无敌的——这点 无需证明。

我有幸跟他合作是在一次数学课上。老师要求那些基础比较好的学生跟基础比较弱 的学生成为一组。我被安排在包括 D 在内的其他 8 个同学的一组，一开始我是有点不太 愿意跟他一组。当时就觉得跟他那种连自己的未来都不关心的人成为一组的话，学习上 不会有什么进步的。常言道“你可以带一头驴去河边，但你不能逼它喝水”。尽管如此， 我还是想看看他能有什么样的进步。

很快他就比别的同学落后了，他比别人长的高而且声音也很大，但他所专注的范围 很小，并且他那难以辨认的笔迹和勉强参与到小组的行为使我对我们之间的合作感到沮 丧。因为考试的临近，我很快就把精力放在了组里其他已表现出进步并愿意学习的同学 身上。

当考试的结果出来的时候我很高兴。我那小组的同学除了 D 以外，成绩都提高了至 少 10%，甚至有一个同学考的比我还高。但他仍然是“1 的平方”，这只能怪他自己了。 下次课的时候我注意到了有些不一样的东西。他在他的记事本上忙着写什么东西，这立 刻让我觉得他在画漫画或者胡乱写什么，绝不是在写作业。他开始积极参加小组的讨论， 并做一些我以为快要期末考试的时候才该做的练习。我继续给他辅导功课、解释概念、 画图表，甚至牺牲午餐时间来看一些资料。在我的眼里，他有决心，不过有点晚。他最 后的那点兴趣值得赞扬，但还是徒劳的。

显然，我犯了个错误，当考试成绩出来的时候，他突然得了 96 分，班里最高的分

93 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

数。老师也很震惊，并反复 3 次检查了考卷，最后确认不是他发生精神错乱了。直到今 天我都不敢相信那是真的。但是有一点是肯定的——我低估了 D。他的决心和集中的精 力使他得到了最后的结果。他并不仅仅在成绩上取得了成功，他还让我们感觉到了我们 失败的地方。从此之后，我一直很重视他并寻找他的潜力，并且我意识到，在每一个黑 暗处，总会有一个等待闪耀的光芒。

我很高兴，他能够证明我是错的，并让我们“从自己犯的错误中吸取教训”。我曾觉 得我是一个公平的、不会批判别人的人。D 让我明白了我离成为那样的人还有一段距离。

文章 37

Sweating uncontrollably and out of breath, I sat down on the dark green park bench to catch my breath. The frigid autumn air attacked my lungs as I gasped for air as if there is no air left on Earth. Glancing at the calm and barren park, I glanced in disbelief at the trees and looked at how they have adapted change. The rustling leaves rattled which created outlandish sounds as I closely observed this desolate park. The park was mind-bogglingly quiet as I could hear my own thoughts replay in my head. Nobody was screaming "goldfish" at the repugnant chess tables, nobody was screaming foul at the top of their lungs on the slightly-slanted basketball courts, nobody bellowed "your it" in a game of tag, and nobody howled "cracks" in a game of handball. At that moment, I felt alone and in complete disarray.

Without warning, I was approached by this elderly woman, wrapped in a puffy black coat and checkered scarf shielding her white head. Her dark brown eyes piercing from her tilted glasses and whitening smile had enticed me. As I looked upon the perennial woman, I saw that she was much older than I originally thought. Her fragile body seemed weak and exhausted as she walked toward the bench I was sitting on. Her brown and carved skin looked like a discarded and ancient paper bag left in the back of the closet. Her eyes shielded by her oddly-shaped eyeglasses, over the years, had grown dull and cloudy as though she had seen too much suffering. Using her worn out cane, she grinned loudly as she put pressure on her right leg to sit right beside me. As she spoke to me, her angelic voice captivated my attention as I was fixated on her every word that came out of her dry mouth. Her child-like attitude and her cackling laughter made her seem as if she was in her early teen years and made me forget about my loneliness and the stresses of life.

We spoke for hours about life and the harshness of reality. She told me how much she had to endure during her childhood when her parents were taken away from her and

94 第 3 部分 申请文实例 that she had to take multiple jobs to take care of her siblings. She told me how much she wanted to receive a college education as she silently began to sob. I clenched her right hand tight in mine and let her emotions run into my healthy body. She reminded me of the old days when kids would never take anything for granted and accepted everything they had.

This aged women told me something now became my motto in life. She told me in a rambunctious tone "lives your life to the fullest, no matter what the situation is". She told me that life is too short and that it is much too precious to throw away. This astute woman continued telling me that be open-minded. She also told me try all the different foods, even if you don't like them at first, respect everyone equally no matter who they are, and educate yourself as much as you can because people with the greatest amount of knowledge go farther in life. Most importantly, she told me to face life head on. "Always keep a positive attitude, no matter how difficult the situation might get". She told me that life is full of struggles and you have to face life head on. "Life is a never ending roller coaster my child" as she walked away in the darkness of the park.

汗流浃背的我气喘吁吁地坐在深绿色的公园长椅上，上气不接下气。我剧烈地喘着 气，仿佛地球上的空气已经全部被吸光了一样，而秋天冰冷的空气让我的肺疼痛不已。 我盯着安静和荒凉的公园并用狐疑的眼光打量着树林，思忖着它们是如何来适应季节变 化的。仔细观察着这个荒无人烟的公园，我不时听到干枯树叶被风吹过之后发出奇怪的 嘎嘎声。公园里异常的静，我几乎可以听到我的思想在脑中重放的声音。没有人在奇怪 的棋台前大声叫嚷着“金鱼”，也没有人在略微歪斜的篮球场上高声地叫着犯规。没人在 追逐游戏里吼着“该你了”，也没有人在手球比赛中喊着“快攻”。但在那一刻，我感到 无比的孤独，并且脑中一片混乱。

突然，一位年老的女士向我走来，她穿着一件黑色的蓬松大衣，格子围巾包裹着她 白发苍苍的头。她黑褐色的眼睛透过歪斜的眼镜盯着我，脸上泛白的笑容吸引了我。仔 细地看着这位矍铄的老人，我才发现她比我想象的要老。她向我坐着的椅子走来，虚弱 的身体看起来似乎已经精疲力竭了。她棕色褶皱的皮肤看起来就好像是遗弃在衣橱里面 的一个旧纸袋，而眼睛也躲在奇形怪状的眼镜后面，在经历多年的风雨后变得昏暗和朦 胧了，仿佛已经见过太多人世的苦难。拄着破烂不堪的拐杖，她用右腿用力在地上撑了 一下，然后在我身边坐下，并且大声笑了起来。随后她开始跟我说话，她天使般的声音 吸引了我的注意力，出自她干涩的口中的每个单词都魅力四射。孩童般的态度和咯咯的 笑声，也让我感觉她仿佛还只是个十几岁的少女。这一切让我忘记了孤独和生活的压力。

我们花了几个小时的时间来讨论生命和现实的残酷。她告诉我，她小时候因为父母 的离去不得不遭受了很多的不幸。她必须做多份工作来养活兄弟姐妹。她也跟我说她是

95 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

多么想去上大学，说到这里她开始静静地抽泣起来。我紧紧地握住了她的右手，让她把 伤心的情绪分配到我健康的身体里。她让我想起在过去的年代，那个时候孩子们从不把 什么东西都当成理所应得的，相反他们珍惜所拥有的一切。

这位年长的女士跟我说过的一些话现在已经变成了我的座右铭。她用嘶哑的嗓音对 我说“在任何情况下都要尽情地享受生活”。她也告诉我人生苦短，随便浪费时间太过奢 侈。这位智慧的女士提醒我要思想开阔并让我试着品尝不同的食物，即使有些食物刚开 始吃起来很难吃；对任何人都要一视同仁并加以尊重，而且尽最大的努力不断自省，因 为掌握知识多的人在生活上会更加容易成功一些。最重要的是，她要我面对生活时挺起 胸膛昂起头。“无论情况是多么的糟糕，一定要保持积极的态度，”她同时对我说，“生活 充满奋斗，你要勇敢面对。”最后当她离开并消失在公园的黑暗之中时，给我留下了记忆 深刻的一句话“生活是不停运转的滚轮，永远承载着我的童心”。

文章 38

Being the first United States citizen in my family, I knew my life would be different from my parents who moved from Taiwan. My mom had only up to high school education and barely spoke English. My dad was an engineer and came home from work late every day. I grew up getting bad grades, bullied, manipulated, and punished, always living in an unhealthy state. There was little friendship and social activity for me while living in Fremont; I was mostly lonely and isolated. During elementary school, nothing in the community inspired me nor gave me a dream.

When it looked like there was no hope, I was introduced to Jesus Christ, who is now my Savior. After accepting Him, things began to change. My mom introduced me to Doctor Wei. To me, he looked like an average doctor, nothing extraordinary. As he greeted me, my mom told him of my struggles. Looking at me with a gentle smile, he said, "William, you will do great things. You have a purpose and you will find your dream." You do not hear that from a doctor every once in a while. That saying literally pierced my hard and cold heart. He was the first person outside my family to encourage me and give me hope.

Originally a surgeon, he later practiced acupuncture and opened up his own small office. After numerous treatments with the needle-sticking process, my grades, behavior, and health began to improve. I was no longer considered a midget. I began to stand up for myself. I no longer needed tutoring that stuck with me for seven years. Through Doctor Wei, God restored me, lifted the blackness shrouding my mind, and revealed the dream He put inside me. He transformed my world, which encouraged peace, embraced love,

96 第 3 部分 申请文实例 and supported gentleness. It became easier to make friends with a set of certain boundaries.

However, I was ignorant and stubborn. I thought I was wise enough to handle any situation placed in front of me. I was oblivious to any advice given from my friends and parents. This came to my attention when I was in seventh grade and half of the school year had already zipped by like a bullet. I then knew that if I keep up like this, I would end up the way I was back at elementary school. To take action, I began to make amends with my parents and friends.

Endless days of disciplining myself was well worth it for tearing down the walls of ignorance and stubbornness that surrounded me. Being able to listen in an understanding way is one of the many important factors of being a doctor. Seeing how Doctor Wei changed my life, I want to change the lives of others, especially those of the children. I want to give them hope when there seems to be none. I want to carry on his legacy and keep his dream alive.

作为家族里第一位正式的美国公民，我知道自己的生活将与从台湾移民来的父母会 有很大的不同。我的妈妈只上到高中，并且几乎不会英语。爸爸是一名工程师，每天回 来得都很晚。我成绩不好，经常挨欺负，受人摆布，经常受罚，所以我的成长状态可以 说是非常糟糕。在弗里蒙特生活时，我没什么朋友，社交活动几乎为零。大部分时候， 我过着与世隔绝和孤独的生活。在这段小学的时光里，学校生活没有给予我任何梦想和 启迪。

当一切看起来都很让人绝望时，我被朋友引导着去了解救世主耶稣。开始信奉耶稣 之后，情况开始有了改变。我的妈妈把我介绍给了魏医生。对于我来说，他就是一个平 常无奇的医生。在互相问候后，我的妈妈告诉了他我的一些烦恼。他看着我，面带慈祥 的笑容，说道：“威廉，你会做出成绩的，你有使命感，所以你会找到自己的梦想。”这 些话在医生的嘴里是很难听得到的，而且这句话确实刺进了我坚硬冷酷的内心世界。除 了我的家人之外，他是第一个这样鼓励我并给我希望的人。

他原本是一名外科医生，但在后来学习了针灸，并开了自己的诊所。经过多次的针 灸治疗之后，我的成绩、表现、身体状况开始好转。我不再被当成侏儒并开始勇敢地挺 起胸膛。我也不再需要已经持续了 7 年的特殊辅导。上帝通过魏医生重新塑造了我，驱 走了我心灵上的阴霾，注入了新的希望。他改变了我的世界观，使我开始拥护并支持平 和、友爱和善良这些美德。当有了这些明确的准则之后，结交朋友就变得更加容易了一 些了。

然而，那时的我很无知和倔强。我自认为足够机智，可以处理好遇到的任何问题。

97 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

所以我对朋友和家人的建议和忠告总是置若罔闻。那是在我上 7 年级的时候，转眼半个 学期过去了，我突然意识到如果再继续这样下去，小学时经历的一切又会在我身上重演。 所以我开始采取行动，修补与朋友和父母之间的关系。

为了推倒四周无知和固执的高墙，我长期坚持自律。现在看来这一切是很值得的。 作为一名医生，能够以理解的方式去倾听，这是其成功的重要因素之一。看到魏医生为 了改变我而付出的一切，我开始也想去改变其他人的人生，特别是那些孩子们的人生。 在绝境中，我想让他们看到希望。我想传承魏医生的理念并且让他的梦想常在。

文章 39

Flipping through the pages, I searched fruitlessly for the answer. The girls beside became impatient and almost jumped onto the table to raise their hands. Yet, Ms. S only stared at me as if she could scrub some responses from my skin. Luckily, someone murmured the answer, and I was set free from the hook.

Transferring from a public high school in China to P Secondary in Vancouver, I was put into a regular English class instead of an ESL program. Although I had suggested an adjustment many times, my English teacher, Ms. S, not only ignored my requests but also had a talent to infallibly call on me whenever I ducked my head to avoid eye contact or pretended to be busy with something. Thus, English classes became a nightmare, especially on presentation days.

I thought I would be temperately relieved after I signed up for the second last to present. "So let’s start from number 35…" I was stuffing my script into my backpack when Ms. Clay Smith’s, indifferently announced that we would go backward in order. In a mix of hails and complaints, the first person started presenting.

After a loud round of applause, I blindly got hold of some papers and slowly dragged my legs toward the guillotine-looking stand. Glancing around the room with twenty pairs of glittering eyes, I felt my body became stiffer.

"My topic is…"

"Excuse me, louder?"

"My topic on…"

"We already know your topic, go on…"

Embarrassed, I went on.

98 第 3 部分 申请文实例

"Can you look at the audience please?"

Attempting to lift my head, I only ended up forgetting lines. Fortunately, she let me go on to finish off my speech, and only interrupted to fix some pronunciations.

Ms. Clay Smith did a good job to make me like my babbling cousin who constantly needed assistance and correction in speech. And like a baby, I amused, confused and sometimes astonished people, unaware of the influence of my speech until Ms. S explained the weight of my words.

Walking out of the classroom, I couldn’t help but felt refreshed. With Ms. S’s help, my English improved and communicating with others no longer seemed daunting as my conversations with classmates became more intimate and engaging. For a long time, I had feared that the bits and pieces from English class, "cold and unyielding stones" they were, were encroaching my chaste, pleasant school life – that is until one night I spent making a speech as a school representative.

Standing in front of the podium brought me back to the memory of the first presentation in English class. Still the same eager eyes, now hundreds of them; still the same smiley faces, now no as daunting, I could feel the heavy weight of the instructions and criticisms slowly shedding off. Stepping on them, I could only feel electrified by a stream of vigor. The very experience that I tried so hard to avoid is now what I could only love so dearly.

翻着书的每一页，我还是找不到我想要的答案。我旁边的那些女孩子已经很不耐烦 了，快要爬到桌上举手了。但是，S 老师仅仅瞪着我，好像能从我的身上找出答案来一 样。幸运的是，有人低声说出了答案，就这样，我被解脱了。

从中国的公立学校转到温哥华 P 中学。我被分到了正常的英语课程班，而没有上 ESL 课程(非母语英语课程)。虽然有几次我要求调整课程，但是我的英语老师 S 女士，不仅 没有理睬我的要求，还每次都准确无误地选我提问，无论我是主动低头，避免和她眼神 接触，还是假装在干其他的事情。从此英语课就变成了我的噩梦，尤其是需要做演讲 的时候。

我申请了在班里倒数第二个做演讲，以为这样就能让我获得暂时的解脱。就在我把 讲稿塞到我的背包里的同时，“我们从 35 号开始吧，”S 老师突然宣布从后面开始演讲。 在呼喊和抱怨声中，第一个人开始演讲了。

经过一连串的掌声之后，我摸索到几张讲稿，然后拖着双腿走向断头台一样的讲台， 环视台下，看到班里瞪着的 20 对闪烁的眼睛，我觉得呼吸更加困难了。

99 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

“我的题目是……”

“对不起，能大点声吗？”

“我讲的是……”

“我们已经知道你的题目了，往下讲……”

感觉有点尴尬，我继续讲了。

“请你看着下面的同学讲可以吗？”

然后我试着抬起了头，结果忘了该说什么了。幸运的是，她让我完成了接下来的演 讲，只有几次为了纠正我的发音而打断我。

S 老师的耐心指导让我觉得自己像我那个正在咿呀学语、需要不断纠正发音的堂弟 一样。我像个小孩子一样，自己也觉得很可笑，有点迷惑和惊奇。直到 S 老师向我讲解 我演讲的分量的时候，我才注意到自己演讲的影响力。

走出教室的时候，我不禁感到精神焕发。在 S 老师的帮助下，我的英文进步了。跟 其他人交流也似乎没那么可怕了，因此我更多地加入到了同学间的交流中。曾经有很长 的一段时间，我很害怕，害怕像英语课这样“又冷又硬的石头”，而且还有那些七零八碎 的东西占据我的校园的美好时光。一天晚上我代表学校去演讲，这种恐惧才消除。

站在演讲台上，让我想起了我在英语课中的第一次演讲。还是那些渴望的眼神，只 不过这次是有一百多双眼睛。还是微笑的一张脸，这次只不过是没有恐惧了。我感觉到 严厉的教诲和批评在慢慢地消失。踏上讲台，我只能感觉到一股惊人的能量。最想躲开 的事竟然成为我最喜欢的事。

文章 40

It was mid February, though the chilling wind had not vanished in the city of Vancouver. Outside, the blowing wind swept through the leaves, leaving the sound of the horns seemed silent. But inside the locker room of the Gym, everyone was mute. The only sound one could hear was the drumming of my teammates’ hearts. Angad was quietly putting on his elbow pad; Ranjod stared at the empty locker; even Lucas, the most talkative and humorous guy on our team, dared not to say a word of encouragement. Praying as sincerely to the god as I could, I still felt the uneasiness traveling in my body. Everyone knew that it would be a hard game, and our chance of winning is negligible, since we had lost our previous three games to Kitslano by a margin of fifteen or more points. Perhaps our journey would finally come to an end; perhaps we would go home

100 第 3 部分 申请文实例 today.

Right at the moment, Mr. Fracca, our coach, came in with an antiquated felt pen in his palm. We were expecting some strategies or tips for winning, but he did not give us anything to guarantee our victory. Rather, he held up the broken marker and said,

"You guys are like this marker."

We were suddenly provoked and intrigued by such remark.

"They challenge your patience, your basketball skills, and ultimately, your manhood. What you guys did tells them that you are afraid of them. They think you do not deserve the right and power to be their foe. Now, you have to tell them who you are, teach them how to play ball, and punish them for their arrogance! "

We were infuriated, our fear and unease were all driven away. We were ready to fight and to perform a miracle when we came out of the locker room...

At the beginning of that school year, no one knew who the new coach was. It was rumoured that Mr. Fracca was an English teacher who might know little about basketball, and we took that as the truth. However, Mr. Fracca proved us to be wrong with his unique way of training and cutting. It turned out that he was erudite in the field of basketball.

I was once intimidated by him. On the last day of the try-out, there was only one more person to be selected for the team, among the five players. I secretly looked up at the ceiling of the gym, begging god for the last spot. At the end of practise, Mr. Fracca walked to me with a serious face. Every of his step towards me sounded like a beat onto my heart. When he came to me, I could not even look directly into his eyes, for I feared that I would tell my failure from his eyes. However, his beard face was suddenly filled with smile as I finally looked up; he stretched out his arm and said calmly, "congratulation."

Since the incidence at the try-out, I started to believe that it was my mission to be on the team and give everything I have. Therefore in every practice and every game, I always attempted my best. I kept pushing myself to the extreme, partly for my own advantage, and partly for not making coach disappointed.

Unfortunately, once in the practice, I landed on one of my teammates' foot and broke my ankle. Tears dripped out of my eyes, not because of the pain, but because of the fact that I couldn’t play basketball, I couldn’t prove to Mr. Fracca that his choice and his

101 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

cultivation was not a waste. Just at the moment, Mr. Fracca came to me and seemed to fully apprehend my thoughts. He comforted me with exceptional warmth, "It is alright, you can still play next year and we will still be together, aren't we?"

Next year, I became one of the starting players on the school basketball team as well as the captain of my community center basketball team. But, Mr. Fracca was no longer with me. He had been transferred to another school. My dream of proving to him my achievement had fragmented, but I felt like as if he was still standing on the court supervising me to use his method to manage my team; as if he was watching me playing not only dauntlessly but also intelligently; as if he was witnessing every step of my growth and achievement. Yes, he was.

It is Mr. Fracca who taught me that basketball is not just a sport; rather, it is a mental game. To me, Mr. Fracca is beyond just a coach. He is a friend, a confidant, and ultimately a guide on both my journey of basketball and journey of life.

Back to the city semi-final game versus Kitsilano, we finally won the game by twenty points. We had won the game for the "broken pen"; we had won it for Mr. Fracca.

已经是 2 月中旬了，刺骨的风仍然在温哥华肆虐地刮着。更衣室外，大风席卷着树 叶，根本听不到外面的喇叭声。体育馆的更衣室里，所有人都很安静，只能听到队友咚 咚的心跳声。Angad 静静地带上护肘，Ranjod 瞪着空空的衣柜，即便队里最幽默健谈的 Lucas 也不敢说一句鼓励的话。我虔诚地向上苍祈祷，但是不安的状态游走在全身各处。 所有人都知道这是一场艰苦的比赛，我们赢的机会很小，因为我们前三节已经输给对手 Kitslano 篮球队至少 15 分了。我们的这次旅程可能即将结束，今天可能就得回家了。

就在这时，我们的教练 Fracca 先生走了进来，手里拿着一根破旧的水笔。我们认为 他会给我们讲一些战术，但是他并没有说任何能让我们取胜的建议。他只是举起手中的 破笔，对我们说道：

“你们就像这支笔一样。”

我们都被这突如其来的话激怒了。

“对手挑战你们的耐心，你们的球技，最终挑战你们‘男子汉’的尊严。你们的行 为已经向他们表明你们害怕了。他们认为你们根本没有实力当他们的对手。现在，是时 候向对手证明自己，告诉他们篮球是怎么打的，让他们为自己的傲慢付出代价！”

我们被彻底激怒了，恐惧和不安一扫而空。从更衣室出来的时候，我们已经为战斗 做好准备，打算创造一个奇迹。

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新学年初始，所有人都不知道这个新教练是谁。据传言，Fracca 先生是个对篮球一 无所知的英语老师，我们也信以为真了。但是，他独特的训练方法让谣言不攻自破，他 是篮球方面的专家。

我曾经被他吓到过。在试训的最后一天，5 个人中只有一个会被选中，填补篮球队 最后一个空缺。我看着体育馆的天花板，为这最后一个名额悄悄地向上苍祈祷。训练结 束的时候，Fracca 先生向我走来，表情严肃。他的每一步都敲打在我的心上。当他走到 我面前的时候，我根本不敢与他对视，我怕看到他眼里透露出我失败的信息。但是，最 后我看到，他满是胡须的脸上突然露出笑容。他伸出手说道：“恭喜你。”

这次试训经历后，我开始相信，加入球队并向球队付出我的全部将是我的使命。因 此，每一次的训练和比赛，我都尽最大的努力。每一次我都努力发挥到极致，一方面是 为自己，另一方面是为了不让教练失望。

在一次训练的时候，我落地时踩到了队友的脚，我的踝关节不幸扭伤了。眼泪顿时 涌出了我的眼眶，我哭并不是因为伤痛，而是因为我再也不能打球了，我再也不能向 Fracca 先生证明他选择我和培养我是多么的正确。当时，Fracca 走到我旁边。他好像知 道我在想什么。他安慰我，出乎意料地对我说：“很好，明年你还能打球，我们还能在一 起，是吧？”

第 2 年，我成了校队的首发球员兼社区中心篮球的队长。但是，Fracca 先生不在了， 他转到了另外一所学校。向他展示我的成就的梦想破灭了，但是我仍然觉得他好像一直 站在赛场内指导我用他的方法带领球队，仍然觉得他好像一直注视着我比赛时的勇敢和 智慧，仍然觉得他好像一直关注着我的每一步成长和进步。是的，他确实在我身边。

这就是告诉我篮球并不仅仅是一项体育运动，而且是一个心理游戏的 Fracca 先生。 Fracca 先生对我来讲不仅仅是一名教练，他也是我的朋友、知己，是我篮球之旅的向导， 亦是我生命中的导师。

回到与对手 Kitsilano 的城市篮球半决赛，我们最后赢了他们 20 分。我们因那只“破 笔”赢得了比赛。为了 Fracca 先生，我们赢了。

文章 41

Prompt: The assignment was simple: Write a newspaper article based on the given prompt. Almost instantly, an idea bubbled inside me, a story waiting to be told. And just like that, while ‘gas prices angered locals’, a new dream was born.

Since a young age, I have been fond of languages. At home, I spoke Mandarin with my

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family, and at school, I caught on to English very quickly. I yearned to find new ways of expressing myself, and languages, with over thousands of varieties in the world, satisfied that craving. However, I got my first trouble when I started learning French Before grade five, I had never experienced the woes of ‘learning’ vocabulary. I felt it a torture to read through lessons, not because I was not interested, but I would get bored from constantly flipping through the dictionary. And though I found pronunciation easy to pick up, it was just as easy to lose: as I listened to French-Canadian radio and watched TV, the Québécois pronunciation influenced me. As a result of such osmosis, my teacher repeatedly reprimanded me for my previously non-existent ‘accent’. However, through consistent self-awareness and correction, and a close to hard-headed determination, my ability to speak French developed.

It soon became evident that my strengths, in any language, came in writing, which I was both good at and enjoyed as well. Every summer, my family would travel to China to visit my relatives. While there, besides staying with my grandparents, my parents would take me to one other location to ‘broaden my sights of the world’. I grew accustomed to long road trips, bumpy train rides, and turbulent flights. To pass the time, I did my writing exercises as normal. Preliminary pencil scratches on paper soon evolved into sophisticated pages of neatly aligned type. My parents marveled that I could spend hours tapping my pencil, looking out the window, stuck on a single sentence, or the beginning of a paragraph.

In the summer before grade nine, writing took me to a whole other level, when I represented Vancouver and the west coast as one of three Canadian students participating in an international Chinese heritage essay competition. There, I met Catherine of France, Xini of Germany, and Wendy of Malaysia. I spent many hours listening to others’ talks and enjoying their stories concerning cultures of their homelands. The cultural highlight of that camp was a trip to the countryside, to meet children not much younger than ourselves and to experience their lifestyle. Driving on the dusty and dirt road back in the final evening, no one could hold back tears, thinking of something we could do to make any change. As we stayed up late that night, burning the midnight oil to finish our essay entries, I knew that my words were the only thing that could convince anyone how strongly we felt about our experience in such a radically different world.

Obviously, being merely an average writer was not enough. In the February of my grade eleven year, I was selected as one of twenty-three student journalists for the Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. We shared the same love for writing and culture

104 第 3 部分 申请文实例 and sports, but ultimately, it was all our passion. It was the same intensity that I took to Shanghai that summer, where I found an internship at The Shanghai Daily, a daily English newspaper. As I worked as a ‘sorter’ for international news, I learned how powerful the words in the media phenomenon really were, and how one person running on their own dreams could make heard the lives and dreams of so many others.

And now, six years later, my dream has been bigger and more real than ever. Through the years, all these experiences have taught me something about what I aspire to become. My struggles in learning languages have taught me the importance of practice and persistence, of motivation and endurance, and mostly importantly, of communication. My writing adventures have showed me the power of imagination and creation, and the challenge of failure and overcoming it. My summer camp experiences remind me how much I love people and culture, and how much I want to make a difference. My brief time as a student reporter has sparked me to share my passion, connect with others, and inspire everyone. And my work at a daily newspaper has taught me the power of my dreams, my words, and everything I can do. Through the whole journey, I know what I want to do. I want to share what I’ve learned and what I’ve done, and pursue my dreams.

That is where I am today. With all these lessons learned, and so much more awaiting in my not-as-distant future, I know, that a story is waiting inside of me. And it’s a story I want to share with the world.

从小时候起，我就喜欢各种语言。在家里，我和父母说普通话。在学校，我的英语 进步也很快。我渴望通过各种新的方式表达自己的观点。而世界范围内千变万化的各种 语言恰恰能够满足我的愿望。但是当我开始学习法语的时候，我第一次遇到了麻烦。五 年级之前，我从没有体会到词汇学习的困难。我觉得阅读课文是一种煎熬，并不是因为 我对课文内容不感兴趣，而是因为不停地翻阅词典让我很烦。另外，虽然我认为学习发 音很容易上手，但是学得快忘得也快。由于我经常收听收看加拿大法语广播和电视节目， 魁北克口音影响了我。结果就是，我的老师不断地批评我莫名其妙的“口音”。但是经过 不断的反省和改正，加上近乎固执的决心，我的法语水平提高了。

很快，我开始努力进行各种语言的写作练习。对于写作，我既擅长也喜欢。每年夏 天，我和家人都要到中国拜访亲戚。在那里的时候，除了和祖父母呆在一起外，我的父 母还到其他的地方让我“长见识”。我已经习惯了长途旅行，习惯了在火车上的颠簸和飞 机上的抖动。为了消磨旅途上的时间，我进行日常的写作练习。从开始在纸上的寥寥几 笔发展到后来数页组织精巧的文章。父母惊异地发现，我可以花几个小时用铅笔写写画

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画，然后看着窗外，可以为了一个单句或者段落的开头句而纠结。

在上九年级前的那个夏天，我的写作上了一个台阶。我是代表温哥华及西海岸参加 国际中文传统写作竞赛的加拿大学生的一员。在那里，我遇到了法国的凯瑟琳，德国的 西尼，还有马来西亚的温迪。我花了好几个小时倾听别人的故事，分享与他们祖国文化 有关的故事。那次夏令营最重要的部分是到农村，结识与我们年龄相仿的儿童，体验他 们的生活方式。在最后一晚回来的路上，汽车行驶在尘土飞扬的泥土路上，所有人都忍 不住哭了，心里都在想着我们可以做些事情带来一些改变。在我们点灯熬夜进行写作的 时候，我知道写文章是唯一的途径，告诉别人我们在那个截然不同的世界里的经历，我 们的感受又是多么的强烈。

很明显，仅仅当一名平凡的作家是不够的。在我上十一年级那年的 2 月，有 23 名 学生被挑选出来作为冬季奥林匹克运动会的学生记者，我是其中的一个。我们都对写作、 文化和体育有着相同的热爱，但后来就是我们所有的热情。同年夏天，带着同样的热情， 我来到了上海。在那里，我在一家英语报刊上海日报社找到一份实习工作。我的工作是 给国际新闻“分类”，工作期间我见识了媒体力量是多么的强大，一个追逐梦想的人是如 何让很多其他人的生命和梦想为世人所知的。

6 年以后的现在，我已经有了比以往更大更真实的梦想。在这些年当中，所有这些 经历已经让我明白，我渴望做些什么。努力学习语言让我明白了实践与坚持不懈、动力 与耐力的重要性，而最重要的是与人交流。写作的经历向我展示了想象力和创造力的力 量，让我体会了失败的挑战性和最终战胜它的过程。我的夏令营经历提醒我，我是多么 热爱人类和文化，是多么想带来不同。简短的学生记者经历让我与别人分享了我的热情， 与人沟通，启迪所有的人。在日报社的工作让我认识到自己梦想的力量，发现了我可以 写文章以及所有我力所能及的事情。在整个旅程中，我知道了我想做什么。我想与人分 享我所认识到的和已经做的事情，我想追逐自己的梦想。

这就是现在的我。在拥有了这所有过去的感悟，并怀着对过去的感悟和对未来的满 心期盼，我明白，在我的心中有一个故事。我愿与世界分享这个故事。

文章 42

When I first met Frank, he was seated in a wheel chair, staring transfixed out of the window. I walked up to him and greeted him warmly. However, the reaction I received was puzzling. Frank only took a quick indifferent look at my smiling face and then promptly turned his attention back to the window. I also looked out of the window, seeing nothing interesting but only the rush of evening traffic. When I turned back, he was still gazing as captivated as ever out of the window.

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Being a volunteer at Three Links Care Center, a home for the elderly, I was asked to visit Frank once every week. During my initial visits, nothing changed. Frank still chose to silently look out the window, listening to me chatter and ignoring my questions. Nor was there any change in his expression: an impassive façade laced with moments of desolation. I dreaded his moments of desolation because I felt helpless as to what to do. I could not just sit there and talk obliviously to that lone, quiet figure sitting in the common room. I tried telling him jokes and amusing stories that my friends had shared with me. But that worked with no avail. I still saw that dreaded emotion reflected in his glassy bespectacled eyes.

I did not know why that expression caused such a significant reaction within me. And then suddenly it hit me, that was the same expression I had seen worn on the faces of my grandparents during that time that I had not visited them for long. Just like my grandparents, Frank must be scared of being forgotten. There was not much that I could do, so I held his hands tightly. For the very first time, Frank turned his attention from the window and smiled at me.

One day, the sun was out and its light penetrated the common room, forming a halo around the polished burgundy grand piano. Frank stared at the piano in all its glory, mesmerized. Recalling that the volunteer coordinator once referred to Frank as a music-lover, I silently stood up and walked to the piano. With the sun shining gently on me, I played one of my favorite pieces, Allemande & Gigue in E Major by Johann Sebastian Bach. My fingers danced over the lively melody of detached eighth notes and my body swayed with the rhythm. After I was done playing, Frank turned to me and said "It was beautiful".

Visits with Frank were not what they used to be after that day. He began to share his stories with me.Frank talked about his experiences as a messenger in World War II. The moments of fear interlaced with dangerous excitement that followed him on his expeditions as a messenger. I listened intently, fascinated by his experiences. Through his stories, I got to know his loving grandmother, a remarkable woman with a spitfire personality who persuaded French soldiers to release her when she was caught, and the fact that Frank liked to affectionately call his two grandchildren "little devils". Frank’s next words surprised me. He said that although I was too demure to be considered as a "little devil", he always wanted a "someone a little less wild" in the family. Words could not describe how I felt. I gave him a big hug in response.

Today I finally understand why Frank used to stare out of the window during my initial

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visits. To him, that represents the anticipation for the arrival of family and the hope of never being forgotten. Visiting Frank once a week has become a routine for me during the past two years, and I will keep this tradition. Because Ihave already been part of the family.

我第一次遇见 Frank 时，他坐在轮椅上，目不转睛地盯着窗外。我向他走去并很亲 切地跟他打招呼。然而，他的反应很让人困惑。Frank 只是很冷淡地看了一眼满脸堆笑 的我，然后迅速地把他的注意力又转到窗外。我也跟着向窗外看，除了傍晚拥挤的交通 外，没有看到什么有趣的东西。当我转过来的时候，他仍然注视着窗外，好像一直被窗 外的什么东西迷住一样。

Three Links 保健中心是老人家的归属。作为那儿的志愿者，我每周去看 Frank 一次。 在我前几次拜访中，一切都照旧，没什么变化。在我喋喋不休的时候，他对我问的那些 问题置之不理，还选择了一直向窗外看，他那副无动于衷再加上凄凉的表情仍然没有任 何变化。我对他那一刻的凄凉感到畏惧，因为我也不太清楚应该怎么帮助他。我不能单 单坐在那儿，跟一个孤单安静的人讲话。我试图给他讲些我朋友们告诉给我的笑话和有 趣的故事，但还是没有效果。从他那幅面无表情的面孔里，我仍然能看出他的畏惧感。

我不知道为什么他的那种表情在我的内心中引起如此巨大的反应。接着，我突然想 到了，在我很久没去拜访我爷爷奶奶的时候，我曾经看过他们脸上同样的表情。就像我 的爷爷奶奶一样，Frank 一定害怕被别人遗忘。这儿没什么事我可以做的，所以我紧紧 地抓住了他的手。头一次，Frank 把目光从窗外转向我，并且对我微笑了。

一个阳光灿烂的白天，阳光照进屋内，锃亮的深红色大钢琴边上形成了一个光环。 Frank 凝视着光亮的钢琴，露出痴迷的表情。听志愿者协调员跟我说过，Frank 是个音乐 爱好者。我静静地站了起来并向钢琴走了过去。灿烂的阳光下，我弹了自己最喜欢的一 段曲子，用 E 大调弹了巴赫的阿勒曼与吉格曲。我的手指随着八分音符轻快的节拍舞动 着，身体随着节奏而摇摆。等我弹完之后，Frank 转过来对我说了句：“真美。”

那天以后，再去拜访 Frank 时，他再也不像原先那样了。他开始跟我分享他的故事。 Frank 告诉了我在二战时期他当信息员的经历。恐惧加上冒险的兴奋一直伴随着他讲述 信息员的整个冒险过程。我专心地听他讲。我被他的故事给吸引住了。通过他的故事， 我知道了他深爱的祖母是个值得尊重的人，她被法国军抓住的时候，凭着刚烈的个性说 服了法国军队放她走。还知道了 Frank 叫他两个慈爱的孙子“小恶魔”。Frank 的下句话 就让我很吃惊，他说虽然我端庄的外表与“小恶魔”的称呼不相符，但他一直以来都很 想家里有一个“不太疯狂的”孩子。我很难用语言来表达我当时的心情，就抱了抱他。

现在我终于明白了，在我最初拜访他的那些日子里他为什么总在凝视着窗外。对他 来说，那代表他希望家人来访和不要被别人遗忘。这两年来每周去看 Frank 已经成为了

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我的习惯，我还想保持这种习惯。因为我已经成为了他家庭的一员。

六、自我描述

文章 43

When I was a young, awkward adolescent, I considered myself to be a shy person, especially around boys. Because of this, my experiences at a coed middle school intimidated me somewhat. So, for the past five years, I have attended an all-girls school, which has helped me to become a stronger person. I have overcome my shyness and insecurities and developed much more confidence.

Ironically, I believe that my shyness, something that I consider a communication barrier, has ultimately led me to focus on a field for my life's work: communications. Despite my aversion to it early on in life, I now love speaking to and interacting with people, be it as a friend, teacher, or public speaker. I now have a passion for stimulating conversation, and that enthusiasm manifests itself in three different and important aspects of my life outside of the classroom: peer support, volunteer work, and music.

Peer support is a high school-sponsored program through which juniors and seniors are selected to work with eighth graders who attend Sacred Heart. It involves an intensive three-day workshop where student leaders learn how to listen effectively to and become mentors for the younger students. I love this work. Once a week, I get to speak to these impressionable boys and girls about anything that I feel is important. I enjoy learning about their lives and their issues and exploring possible solutions to their problems. We study today's society and its impact on them. I see much of my old self in these young people and that memory has helped me to help them become more confident about their everyday lives.

My volunteer work centers on teaching, through a program called Summerbridge. After school, I go to a nearby public school and tutor learning-disadvantaged preteens. Instead of dealing with the students' personal issues, as I do in peer support, the Summerbridge focus is more on communication through education. By working with these younger students, I have come to understand the importance of helping them comprehend and apply what they learn in the classroom. Their motivation, given their circumstances, is remarkable. We discuss in detail what they are learning so that I can keep them interested and motivated. Summerbridge is another example of how communication issues are very important to me.

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Not surprisingly, music has emerged as another, perhaps indirect, avenue for me to communicate with others. Singing allows me to convey my deep and personal emotions with others. When I sing, I am transported to another realm. The mundane everyday world around me disappears, and I am enveloped in my own, new space, especially when I am performing onstage. When I act, I am transformed, feeling the happiness, sadness, impishness, or even confusion that my character feels. My performance taps into that part of me where those qualities dwell, and I love sharing it with my audience. Music is a very special form of communication for me.

Perhaps the person I am today is a compensation for who I was years ago. That awkward twelve-year old, however, is no more. Now I want to show the world what I can do. Communication has become my passion. It will be my future.

当我还处在懵懂的青少年时期，我认为自己是个害羞的人，特别是跟男孩子在一起 的时候。因此，如果去一个男女混合的中学，在某种意义上，我会感到恐惧。所以在过 去的 5 年中，我上的都是女子学校，这使得我成为了一个更加坚强的人。我因此克服了 自己的羞涩和不安，变得更加的自信。

具有讽刺意义的是，我认为害羞会成为我与别人沟通的一个阻碍，但也正因为这一 点，引导我把焦点放在了生活的重要方面：沟通。尽管在早期，这一点让我讨厌，但我 现在变得喜欢与朋友交流和说话，无论是以朋友的身份，老师的身份还是在公众演讲者 的身份。我现在对启发性的谈话很感兴趣，这种热情体现在三个不同却都很重要的课外 领域里，它们是：同龄互助计划活动、志愿者的工作和音乐。

同龄互助计划是一个学校资助的活动，在这个活动中，被选出的三年级和四年级的 学生要与参加圣心活动的八年级学生一起工作。工作内容包括一个 3 天高强度的讨论会， 在会上，学生领导们将学习如何有效地倾听低年级学生的问题并引导他们。我喜欢这份 工作，每周我都要向这些敏感的男孩女孩们讲一讲我认为重要的事，并且去了解他们的 生活和各种问题，然后去寻找解决方法，对此我很享受。此外，我们还在一起研究今天 的社会及其在他们身上产生的影响。在这些年轻人身上，我看到了自己从前的影子，而 这份记忆让我能够帮助他们在每天的生活中变得更加自信。

我的志愿者工作主要是在一个叫做夏桥的项目里进行教学活动。放学后，我会到附 近的一所公立学校去辅导一些学习比较差的小孩子。不像在同龄互助活动的时候，在这 里你要解决学生的个人问题，这个项目的重心就是要通过教育来进行交流。通过与比我 小的学生一起学习，我意识到了帮助他们理解和应用课堂上所学知识的重要性。在那种 环境下，他们的动力是很足的。我们详细地讨论他们所学的东西，这样我就能够保持他 们的兴趣和动力。夏桥的工作经历让我再一次认识到交流的重要性。

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并不奇怪，音乐是另一个在我生活里让我有激情的东西，并成为了我间接与人沟通 的桥梁。歌唱让我能够向别人传达我内心深处的个人感情。当我唱歌时，我完全进入另 外一个世界，并且这个世界上庸俗的琐事全都会跑到九霄云外。我完全沉浸在全新的世 界里，特别是当我上台表演时，这种情况尤其明显。在表演时，我完全变了个人，感受 到了快乐、悲伤、顽皮，甚至自己性格上的迷惑。表演使我能够与这些情绪存在的地方 相连接，我也很乐意与观众们一起分享这些情感。音乐对我来说是一种特殊的沟通方式。

也许今天我所做的一切都是对以前欠缺的一种补偿。糟糕的 12 岁已无踪影，现在 我想向全世界展示自己的能力。在与人交流沟通中我充满热情。它也将是我的未来。

文章 44

I dropped the heavy cardboard box onto the dorm floor, as if all the weight of stress for a good impression had gone with it. An old, stained sketchbook fell out. I cracked a smile. What a perfect hook!

Flipping through the frangible pages, I started preparing an ice-breaker with low-pitched murmurs. In the very first page kneels a lanky, energetic man with a formal suit who is petting a fluffy puppy. "This is daddy, and that is our sweetheart Fanny. I was raised in an apartment in Shanghai, China, and my family love animals…"

Turning to an unusually thick page, I discovered a collage of my baby and toddler pictures. "I have lived in a dorm since kindergarten. According to my mom, I was once evicted for crying so loud that the other kids all followed bursting into tears. But I am very used to living with others now."

My skimming continued. A rough outline of a disheveled crowd with dogi – karate uniform – sitting in a circle caught my eyes. "I used to be a sedentary person. But in grade six when I went to Kyokushin karate trainings, I started to love the feeling of sweating."

Nobody was by the door. Catching the last minutes to rehearse my little introduction, I spotted a picture of me playing piano at Christmas in Shaugnessy Church, "I am not a religious person, but I am open to any beliefs. I hold liberal views on many issues including abortion and health care."

"I don’t like taking photos so I do not have many. But I like drawing to keep these moments and people. You probably have noticed I have a funny way with signatures…that peach and porcupine there…these are mood signatures my friends and I designed…" Bam…another box came through the door disrupted my energetic

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whispers. Here comes my long-awaited roomie. Let us have a new start and fill in the blank pages of my sketchbook with vigorous strokes.

我把那个重纸箱扔到了宿舍的地板上，为留下个好印象的压力仿佛瞬间也随之消失 了一样。这时一本又旧又脏的画册掉了出来，看到了这本画册，我的脸上露出了笑容。 多么诱人的一画册啊！

浏览过那些脆裂的册页，我开始翻阅并低声嘟嚷起来。第 1 页上画着一个身材瘦长 并穿着正装的男人，他很有活力，此刻正跪在地上爱抚一只毛茸茸的小狗。“这个是爸爸， 那个是我们的范妮宝贝。我在中国上海的一个公寓里长大，我的家人很喜欢小动物……”

翻到一张异常厚的书页时，我发现几张拼贴在一起的照片，内容是我还是个婴儿的 时候和刚学走路时的样子。“从上幼儿园时开始，我就住在宿舍里。据我妈妈的讲述，曾 经有一次我巨大的哭声把其他的孩子全部弄哭了，因此我被赶了出去。但是我确信，现 在我能很好地与其他人一起生活了。”

我继续浏览着，突然我被一群穿着乱七八糟的空手道服的人们吸引住了，他们围坐 成了一个圈。我曾经是一个习惯于久坐的人。但在六年级的时候，我去参加了极真空手 道的训练，从那时候起我开始喜欢上汗流浃背的感觉。

还没有人来，所以我抓紧最后几分钟再练一遍自己的曲子。那个情景发生在圣诞节， 我为肖内西教堂弹钢琴时所拍的照片上。“我不信宗教，但很尊重各种信仰，对像堕胎和 卫生保健等问题，我也是很宽容的。”

“我不喜欢照相，所以照片不是很多。但是我喜欢通过画笔来记录那一时刻的人和 事。也许你会注意到我可笑的签名，像写成桃子和豪猪的形状，这是我的朋友们和我一 时兴起创作的。”“嘭……”另一个箱子扔了进来，同时也打断了我的思绪。原来是我一 直在等的室友来了。他的到来让我有一个全新的开始，同时我也可以开始用粗犷的一笔 来填写画册上新的一页了。

文章 45

Independence, drive, and leadership are three important qualities that can help any person when living a life away from home. All of these qualities define who I am as a person. I believe these three characteristics are the strongest attributes that I can bring to F University.

From the time I was young I have always been taught to be independent. My parents always stressed the importance of education but knew I could only receive the knowledge if it was something I wanted and worked for. I was never pressured or

112 第 3 部分 申请文实例 pushed to do anything; I was just given direction. I took the initiative on my own to make intelligent decisions and to do what I thought was best. I believe with that sense of independence came responsibility. With not as much guidance as other kids, and a little more freedom, I was able to acquire responsibility as well as morals and values. As a teenager I was exposed to situations which I knew were wrong; that responsibility helped me make the right decisions.

Being a leader is one of the most important characteristics anyone can possess. I think it is very important to be a leader and a role model. People look up to you so you have to be trustworthy, responsible, and honest. You also have to know when to step up and give a helping hand. It also means not following the crowd by making bad choices. Leaders make good decisions and set examples for others by thinking for themselves. Leaders have strong personalities and are very level headed; they fight for what they believe in and don't buckle under pressure. I feel I have displayed all of this through my position as a Student Government officer and also through my involvement with my schools Student Government Association and other leadership organizations throughout Florida.

My final quality is drive. To have determination is very important in trying to become successful; if you believe it is possible and you have the drive to succeed, you can achieve your dreams. I have always tried to challenge myself in order to expand my range of intellect. I always make it my priority to do the best I can because I know the only failure is the one you didn't attempt. Anytime I take on a project or join a club or involve myself in a higher level class I give it my all. I take my involvement very seriously because I know it is part of my responsibility to make things succeed. When they do succeed it makes me feel accomplished to know that I did the best I could and tried my hardest. I always have confidence in myself to do my best and I settle for nothing less.

I would contribute these three characteristics not only in my classes, but around the F University community as well. I would like to get involved in your community and these qualities would help me do so. I believe these qualities are important to possess throughout any college experience because they are the vital keys to being successful and I could bring them to your school."

做事独立、充满干劲、富有领导力这三个重要的品质足以帮助任何人度过远离家乡 的生活，它们也很好地定义了现在的我。我也相信，我能将自己性格上这三种最好的品 质带到 F 大学中。

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从小的时候开始，我一直被教导着要学会独立。我的父母总是强调教育的重要性， 但是他们也清楚，只有我发现了知识是我想要为之奋斗的东西，我才会按他们的要求去 学习。没有人给我压力或催着我去做任何事，相反别人只是给我指出了可选择的方向。 我会主动地做出明智的决定，然后以自己认为最棒的方式完成。我也相信独立性会带来 责任感。由于比其他孩子得到相对少一些的引导，并且得到了更多的自由，因此我能够 获得更好的责任感、道德观和价值观。作为一个年轻人，我经常会碰到一些不好的事情 或卷入不好的场合，而正是这种责任感让我能够在各种环境下做出正确的决定。

领导力是任何人都能具备的重要素质之一。我认为，成为一名领导者，模范带头作 用是很重要的。人们尊敬你，所以你必须要诚实，值得信赖，具有责任感。你也要懂得 选择恰当的时机去帮助别人。具有领导力也意味着，不要因为从众而导致你做出错误的 决定。领导者需要为别人着想，做出好的决定，树立好的榜样，他们也需要有坚强的性 格和冷静的头脑，并且为了自己的信念而努力奋斗，决不在压力面前低头。我想，在我 担当学生管理会这个职务期间，以及完成学校管理会乃至佛罗里达的其他领导组织任务 时，我都能充分体现这些素质。

我最后想说的一个品质就是十足的干劲。要想成功，有决心是很重要的。如果你认 为一件事有成功的可能，你就要有足够的干劲，你的梦想才能实现。我总是为了拓宽自 己的知识领域而挑战自己。因为我知道最大的失败就是怯于尝试，所以我做事情首先就 是要尽全力。每次无论是参加项目或者加入社团，还是想融入到一个更高水平的班级， 我都会百分之百为之付出。对参与本身我看得很严肃，因为我知道我有责任取得成功。 当它们真的成功的时候，我也会有成就感，因为它让我明白自己付出了百分之百的努力。 我向来对自己能全力以赴去解决问题这一点很有信心。

我不但会把这三点品质贡献给我的班级，还会奉献给整个 F 大学。我希望自己能融 入这所大学的环境当中，而且我相信这些品质也会起到作用。我相信在整个大学生 活中保持这些品质是很重要的，因为它们是开启成功的重要钥匙，也是我想在这所 大学实现的目标。

文章 46

Prompt: The Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you.

When you are hit with the genetic double whammy of being tall and left handed, life is never simple. My day usually starts off with finding my toes, which have been left uncovered by a normal-sized blanket, numb and blue. Then, depending on how disorientated from lack of sleep I am, I might bump my head against the top of my

114 第 3 部分 申请文实例 doorframe, and sport a nice bruise for the rest of the day. As I go about my day, must resist a natural inclination to do everything the lefty way—writing in notebooks, driving a car, shaking hands, sitting in school desks, turning around to get something—usually resulting in several klutz attacks in a crowded hallway or an infinite number of possible awkward moments.

Tall people usually treat their height in one of two ways: ignore it or embrace it. While it is more acceptable for a man to be tall, both genders usually opt towards the "ignore it". However, being constantly hunched over and dressing to lessen the height effect usually only brings more attention to the fact that I am well on the far side of the bell curve. From a young age, I've had my mother pushing me to accept my height and to revel in it. "Honey, people know when a tall person walks into the room. Their eyes just naturally gravitate that way. It’s up to you to own that attention," she proclaimed seriously. Taking her words to heart, I quickly learned how to "own" it as my mother suggested. I became assertive and confident, knowing that people were listening to me and what I had to say. Of course, my height was not enough to let me just slide through life, I had to earn it. I am an avid reader and student in general. Because the downside of embracing my height is to be mistaken for an aspiring model or beauty queen, I do not have any issues with models or beauty queens—I've participated in two pageants—but I also dislike being put in a neat little labeled box. My hard work at school and my passion for literature has helped me to become friends with a variety of people I would have never known if I had not pushed my boundaries and interests every day.

My left-handedness was not much of an issue growing up on the teasing front, because children in school are rarely observant enough to notice which hand another student writes with. When I started driving though, complications arose. I had a week in Ireland with my mother the previous summer, and some of the people there had taught me how to drive—on the left side of the road. On the empty back roads that are the only roads in our town, I would drive thirty yards before my father would remind me that on this side of the pond, the car is supposed to be in the right lane. I can now drive safely, the DMV swears it, but my driving was a wake up call to me. I live in a predominately right-handed, left-brained world. What did that mean for me? It meant that how I see the world is different, but not necessarily wrong. The upside of living in a world that does not suit my physical differences has made me more adaptable for any situation, because for every problem there's a solution, even if it is not obvious or easy.

I am very grateful for growing up tall and left-handed, even with the problems and

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teasing I've had to endure. Growing up outside the range of normalcy all of my life, and taking it in stride allowed me to avoid the desperate yearning for conformity most of my friends experienced in high school. For as many things my height excluded me from, like gymnastics or horse racing, my reaction to it has opened many more doors with even more exciting possibilities, and all of them have had doorframes are tall enough for me.

当你身兼两个不好的遗传基因——长的高大而且又是左撇子的时候，你的生活将不 会那么简单了。在睡觉的时候，我的双脚根本无法被正常大小的毛毯盖住。我的一天一 般都从发现自己的双脚已经被冻麻开始的。接下来，由于没睡好觉，我处于半醒状态， 摇摇晃晃，头很有可能会碰在门框上，然后带着一个大包过上一天。在生活的每一天中， 我必须克制自己天生左撇子的习惯——记笔记的时候，开车的时候，握手的时候，坐在 课桌前的时候，转身拿东西的时候——这样的结果是拥挤的过道上的几次批评和无限次 有可能发生的尴尬时刻。结果经常是，在拥挤的走廊里与人碰撞，或者其他无数尴尬情 况的发生。

高个子的人通常会从两种对待自己身高的态度中二选一：忽略或者接受。一个男人 长得很高更容易让人接受，人们通常会选择前者。然而，经常通过蜷缩身体和穿衣服显 矮的效果只是让大家更能注意到一个事实，我的身高已经到达贝尔曲线的上限了。小时 候，母亲就劝我接受我的身高特点并以此为荣，“亲爱的，当一个高个子走进屋的时候， 人们都会注意到他，他们很自然地会被这个人吸引。能不能得到他们的关注就看你了。” 她讲得很严肃。把母亲的话记在心里，我很快学会了怎么“得到”关注。我知道在我讲话 的时候别人会听的，于是我就变得自信了。当然，我的身高不能让我过安静的日子，我得 自己努力。我是个比较喜欢读书的很普通的学生。由于个子很高，我经常会被误认为是个 意气风发的模特或者选美女王，因此任何与模特和选美有关的事我都离得远远的—— 虽 然我参加过两次化妆表演——但我仍然不喜欢被放在有标签的精致小箱子里。我在学校 的努力、我对文学的激情帮助我交到了很多的朋友。要是我没有努力不断发掘自己的各 种爱好和自己适合的领域，我也不可能认识他们。

我左撇子的习惯本来还没有到被戏弄的程度，因为学校的孩子不会仔细观察其他人 用哪只手写字。可是开始开车的时候，问题出现了。去年夏天，我和母亲到爱尔兰呆了 一周。在那里，有人教我驾驶——在路面左侧学的。在我们小镇仅有的路上几乎没什么 车，每次开车的时候父亲都会提醒我，在美国这边，车子应该是沿道路右侧行驶的，而 这时我已经开出去 30 码了。虽然现在我可以安全驾驶了，有机动车管理处为我作证。但开 车让我意识到，我生活在一个由“右手”和“左脑”支配的世界里。这对我意味着什么 呢？意味着我看到的世界可能和别人看到的不一样，但未必是错的。在跟我不太相符的 世上活着的好处是，我更容易适应任何环境，因为对于每个问题都有它的答案，虽然答 案不是很明显或者很容易。

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虽然我得忍住别人的嘲笑和面对别的问题，我还是特别感谢我的高个子和左撇子的 特点。我一生都会在常规外的范围成长。欣然地接受这个事实，使我避免了极度渴望得 到跟高中同学一样的经历。虽然由于身高的缘故，在很多事情上我都被排除在外，比如 体操和赛马。但是我对此的态度使我开启了更多扇大门，使我获得了更多令人激动的机 会，并且所有那些门的门框对我来讲都足够的高。

文章 47

Ever Growing Progress

The man inhaled sharply as he silently gazed over the sea of green foliage around him, then, turning to my father. He remarked "must’ve taken quite some time to build, eh?" To us, such a response was hardly novel. In fact, many people who visited our small family business often wondered how much effort we had put into maintaining this nursery. To my father, though, this field of greenery represented more than just work, it was a kind of fulfillment; growing plants was not only his specialty but also his dream. Although we all worked together to sustain our plant-world, we each had our distinct voices on how we viewed plant life. In general, I think growing up alongside these plants has fostered in me a strong sense of connection to and passion for understanding the Silent World of Life around me. Drawing from the quiet persistence and maturing strength of the surrounding plant-life, I have gained a better appreciation of the progression and growth of Life.

The vibrant green leaves on the Escallonia shook gently and let fall drops of early morning dew as the Escallonia settled snugly into the soil of the large black pot. With my dirt-caked hands, I proceeded to cover the still visible roots of the plant. I was amazed that it could grow so well among the rocks; the healthy shine on the leaves testified to its thriving conditions. The progression of growth was truly an amazing phenomenon. I mused, as I attempted to imagine the journey it must had undertaken to reach this stage…

Buried under a thick layer of rocky soil, the seed must had begun its slow germination process by pressing its tender roots and budding stem outward against the course soil and rocks slowly but surely making its way out into the open. Like a mirror of Life’s adversities where every step would be fraught with difficulties, it was apparent to that obstruction would never absent from the path to one’s goal. This glimpse into the challenges of the Escallonia’s growth allowed me to recognize that the only way for me to come closer to my dream of understanding Life was to"push against"my obstacles

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and reach out towards the unfamiliarity audaciously.

As I observed the strong stem of the Escallonia raised towards the infinite expanse of blue sky with a sense of full devotion, its many branches teeming with small leaves seemed as though thousands of hands eagerly outstretched towards the sun; I suddenly realized that I too needed to dedicate my focus towards my dream of coming to closer understand the processes of Life in order to fulfill it. Like the Escallonia whose constant effort was to reach upwards towards its sun, I would strive to reach mine.

Although the Escallonia had thrived well in its wild environment, its habitat could not sustain its rapid growth forever-it needed a richer surrounding to grow; I had to transfer it to a larger pot. After a long struggle, I managed to free its deeply anchored roots from its spot. I then understood that only with its deeply embedded roots could the Escallonia collect nutrients from underground. Similarly, in my quest to understand Natural Life, I must learn to develop my own way of approaching it through delving deeply into the"soil"of knowledge that I have gained from my experiences working with peers, adults, disabled children, seniors and many other situations in my life.

As I placed the Escallonia in the large pot, I could sense the determination of the plant and its unfaltering spirit of growth; I felt a compelling urge to reside in a richer environment, an environment like XX University, where I would be challenged to grow further, and be able to strengthen my commitment to move towards my dream as the Escallonia towards the sunlight: ever continuing to reach towards the unknown heights, while at the same time, forever extending my "roots" further into the realms of deeper insight.

静静地看着自己周围一片绿叶的海洋，那个人猛地吸了口气，然后转向我的父亲。 他说：“种这些东西一定花了不少时间，是吧？”对我们来说，他的反应并不奇怪。实际 上，很多来过我们家苗圃的人常常问我们到底花了多大精力照顾这些植物。对我父亲来 讲，这片绿地不仅仅是劳动的结果，它还是一种成就；种植花草不仅仅是他的专长，还 是他的梦想。虽然一起工作维护我们的植物世界，但是我们每个人对植物的观点都不同。 大体来说，在这些花草旁边成长培养了我一种强烈的感觉，我认为我与身边无声的生命 世界存在着联系，而且我渴望了解这个世界。通过周围悄悄地茁壮成长的植物，我对生 命的成长过程有了更深的理解。

我将鼠刺安置在巨大的黑陶罐中，让他安逸地生长，它上面的绿叶轻摇着，晨露从 上面落下来。然后，我继续用沾满泥土的手将它露在外面的根埋起来。真奇怪，它居然 在石缝间也能生长，光亮的绿叶是它茁壮成长的证据。生命生长的过程真的很令人惊讶。 我沉思着，试图想象出它长到这种样子所经历的过程。

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被埋在一层石质土壤下，种子一定先慢慢地在土壤和石头下面顶着细根和嫩芽，缓 慢发芽，最后终于冲了出来。这是生活的写照。生活的每一步都充满着困难。很显然， 每个人到达目标前都会遇到阻碍。通过对鼠刺生长中遇到的挑战进行观察，我认识到要 想离生命的真谛更近，我必须“冲破”困难，向未知勇敢前进。

看着鼠刺粗壮的茎向广阔的蓝天成长，有种全部奉献的感觉；繁茂枝杈上的小叶子 好像是成千上万渴望阳光的小手伸向太阳。我突然意识到，我也需要更深刻地理解生命 的过程以最终实现我的梦想。我会像不断努力向阳光生长的鼠刺一样奔向我的“太阳”。

虽然鼠刺在野外环境枝繁叶茂，但是它生长的地方不能满足它一直快速成长，它需 要到更非我的地方去。于是我必须将它移到更大的盆中。经过一段时间的努力，我成功 地将它的根从盆中刨出来。接着我明白了，只有拥有了茂密的深根，鼠刺才可以从地下 汲取养分。同样，我有和各种人共处的经历，有同辈、长辈、残疾儿童、老人，也经历 过很多事情。从这些经历中我领悟到很多知识。为了了解自然生命，我必须用自己的方 法钻研这些知识的“土壤”。

把鼠刺移到大盆里的时候，我能够感觉到它坚定的生长决心和成长毅力。我有一种 想在更加肥沃的环境中生长的冲动，这就是 XX 大学。在这里，我会接受挑战，不断成 长，并且能够不断加强信念，像鼠刺对着太阳那样向我的梦想前进，向未知的高度探索， 同时将我的“根”深深地扎在更深的地方。

文章 48

I appeared on the stage in an innocent white frock and my face was caked in thick makeup. Under the glare of the intense theatre lights, in a black box stage, I was playing out a role, as Sandra, which was really difficult. It was difficult in the sense that I had almost no resemblance to my character; at least I did not think so. She was terribly cunning, cruel, and desperate. This role gave me insight to a darker side of human nature.

In that scene, my character, Sandra, always rant about how she deserved so much more in life, and complain about how she had been cheated out of her true destiny in the past. When writing this part with the director, I felt difficulty in imagining anyone who would be so stuck in the past and unwilling to adapt. When I was young, I traveled a lot. I had lived in three different countries and attended six different schools since the age of six. Without even knowing it at the time, I had learned how to adapt quickly. My parents also instilled within me the need to always move forward, only reminiscing pleasantly in my leisure. With our different outlooks, empathizing with my character proved to be the toughest barrier between her and me.

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One simple word to properly describe Sandra would be "mean." She was cruel and would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. In this case, what she wanted was revenge and chose to hatch a plan of murder, preferably with a side dish of torture. While composing a part in the script which involved both, my director asked me to go home later that night and watch the pilot episode of a popular television show about a serial killer, "Dexter." I watched it and felt like crying: I never killed puppies as a child before! However, I did enjoy the dry humor of the show, which my director and I tried to apply to the script as well.

Although Sandra was cruel, I did admire the character for her determination; once her mind was set, it was in stone. As the actor of this character, I got to live as such a determined person with a single-minded purpose in life. Although Sandra's determination lied in killing for revenge, I enjoyed being somebody who is one hundred percent or nothing at all.

Onstage, about fifteen minutes had passed and the story was almost played out. Despite Sandra's careful planning and manipulations, her world was slowly falling to pieces. She had only four successful killings, but the rest of her victims realized what was happening and escaped. Being the Type-A perfectionist that Sandra was, such a situation was nowhere near acceptable. She blamed it on her partner in crime who, at the last moment, decided to forgive those who wronged him. She also blamed it on her luck, the situation, and so on; she put the blame on anyone and anything instead of herself.

This was the moment I related most to, unfortunately. When the lead in the school play was given to my rival, I blamed that on how she was a suck up who had friends in the right places. When I didn't do well on a test, I blamed that on how difficult the material was. After playing Sandra, I got to look upon a character who was unwilling to take the responsibility for her own downfall and realized how stupid my cop-outs for my failures were.

At this point in the play when Sandra was delivering her monologue regarding feelings of betrayal, hurt, denial and blame, I had the feeling of being detached from myself: I was only half there. Instead, I was watching myself and watching the audience. Personally, I realized that I was looking into a distorted version of myself. Sandra and I were very different on the outside, but we came from a common source: myself. As for my audience, I got the distinct feeling that they felt the same. The theatre was unusually hushed as if everyone stopped and reflected along with me. It was as if the

120 第 3 部分 申请文实例 people in the audience started seeing Sandra as a strange reflection in their personal funhouse mirrors too.

Twenty minutes passed. In the last scene, Sandra went completely insane, plagued by her failures and deep-lying guild. During the rehearsals, I always enjoyed acting out that insane part. I told people that it was because I enjoyed being so fully immersed in my character's grief, but part of me actually like the release from being such a psychologically unbalanced character. Apparently, I did my part so well that I got two "Drammy" awards for it.

Although this short play only lasted 20 minutes, it felt like a journey every time I went through it. Being an actor requires analyzing both her character and herself. Prior to this journey, I had thought I was quite sure of what kind of person I was, but after "getting into character," I began to wonder if maybe my opinion of myself was actually toned down and less "mean" than reality. I guess it is hard to have a clear perspective on oneself, especially on the faults of oneself. People who look in those funhouse mirrors wonder how something so strange and foreign could come from themselves. I wonder how somebody so cruel, evil, and unlike me could be so thoroughly undertaken by me. People wonder, "Is that gigantic nose really on my face?" I wonder, "Is somebody like Sandra, my character, really a part of myself?" A clear insight on myself is one thing that I try to strive for now.

我穿着纯白色的长袍站在了舞台上，脸上涂着一层厚厚的浓妆。站在黑色舞台强烈 的灯光下，我扮演 Sandra 这个角色，扮演这个角色的难度很高。最难的地方在于这个 Sandra 的角色跟我的性格一点相似之处都没有。至少我认为是这样的。她是一个很狡猾、 残酷，并且极度绝望的人物。这个角色让我看到了人类内心深处最暗的一面。

在那一幕中，我扮演的角色 Sandra 总是唠叨说她在人生中应该得到很多，她总是 抱怨她过去怎么样被骗而失去了本来的命运。当与导演编写这段剧情的时候，我难以想 象出一个总是纠缠过去，而不愿适应现实的那种人。小的时候，我经常旅行。我在 3 个 不同的国家生活过，并且 6 岁开始到现在上过 6 所不同的学校。自己都没有察觉到，我 慢慢就学会了怎么样迅速地适应新的环境。我父母教导我，人必须向前看，只有在闲暇 的时候可以想一想过去的事情。就因为有着不同的人生观，领会我所扮演的角色性格特 点对于我而言是莫大的障碍。

如果用简单的一个词来描述 Sandra，那就是“卑鄙”。她很残忍，为达目的不惜一 切代价。然而，她的目的就是要报仇，并且开始暗中策划谋杀，因此会给自己带来痛苦。 在编写一段包含我们两人角色的剧本时，导演要我晚上晚回一会儿，观看一部热播电视 的试播，内容是关于一个连环杀手的，“Dexter”。看过以后，我很想哭。我从来没有杀

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过小狗。然而，我喜欢电视剧里面的冷幽默，后来我跟导演也在剧本里使用了这种幽默。

虽然 Sandra 很残忍，但我欣赏她角色中意志坚强的一面。她一旦下定决心做什么 事，那么绝无更改。作为扮演她的演员，我应该像她一样拥有坚定的性格，坚定不移地 朝着生活的目标前进。虽然，Sandra 是以杀人和报仇为目的的，但我喜欢像她那样做一 个果断的人，要么义无反顾地向前，要么在原地纹丝不动。

在舞台上，已经过了大约 15 分钟了，整个故事即将结束。虽然 Sandra 心思缜密计 划完美，但她的内心世界快要跨了。她成功地杀了四个人，但是其他受害者也意识到发 生了什么事，于是都逃走了。Sandra 作为一个纯粹的完美主义者，显然不会接受这样的 结局。她把一切责任归咎于同伙，那个同伙到最后宽恕了那些曾经对不起自己的人。她 也抱怨自己运气不好、机会不好等。她责怪了除了她自己以外的任何人、任何东西。

不幸的是，这是跟我最有关的一场。学校演出的主角位置给了我的竞争对手时，我 抱怨过，这个马屁精凭关系得到了那个位置。当我考试没考好的时候，我抱怨说试题的 难度很高。演完 Sandra 后，我发现自己是一个失败而不愿承担责任的人，并意识到我 为失败找借口是多么的愚蠢。

演到这儿，当 Sandra 陈述独白的时候，她被背叛、伤感、否定和抱怨纠结在一起。 那个时刻，我有一种脱离自己的感觉，台上的我仅仅是我的肉身。那时的我正在审视自 己、审视观众。在自己身上，我看到自己是一个已被扭曲了的版本。我跟 Sandra 在外 表上完全不一样，然而我们俩同源：就是我自己。对于观众来说，我清楚地感觉到他们 也有同感。整个剧场变得很安静，好像每个人都停下来跟我一起考虑一样。似乎观众也 开始意识到 Sandra 同样是他们每个人在哈哈镜里面的奇怪映像。

20 分钟已经过去了。在最后的一幕，Sandra 被失败和她内心深处的目标完全逼疯 了。在排练的时候，我一直很喜欢 Sandra 发疯的这一段。我告诉别人，那是因为我特 别喜欢那种完全沉浸在角色悲痛当中的感觉，但另外一个原因就是，演完这个心理扭曲 的角色，我能松口气。显然，我演得很好，还因此得了两项“Drammy”奖。

虽然只是一个 20 分钟的短剧，但每次回想的时候我都感觉好像那是个旅程。每个 演员都得分析他扮演的角色和他自己在生活中的角色。在这次旅行之前，我以为我很清 楚我是个什么样的人，但“进入角色”之后，我开始嘀咕，是不是我把自己想的太好了， 是不是现实的我比我想象的要“卑鄙”。我想，对自己有个正确的评价是很难的，尤其是 审视自己错误的时候。人们总是奇怪，为什么哈哈镜里奇怪的映像会是自己。我很奇怪， 我怎么可以彻底驾驭这么一个残忍、邪恶、跟我一点都不像的角色。“那个大的鼻子是不 是长在我脸上？”我就奇怪了，“我是不是真的有 Sandra 的一面？”我现在努力要做的 事应该是对自己有一个清晰的认识了。

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七、难忘的经历和往事

文章 49

Qin ai de baba (Dear dad),

Ni hao! How have you been?

It has been four months since spring break, when I last saw you. I’m now on the plane back to Vancouver from Swaziland, Africa. We have transferred three times and spent almost forty hours on the return trip. I told you about Annie, didn’t I? My dear French-Egyptian friend besides me is still very excitedly awake, and she wants me to say hi to you. Everything in Africa was great! Mr. Debeer said that I left my heart there. Yes, I did.

There could find no such fun in any other cities where I’ve visited. I have to tell you my first time experiences there. Do you know how to use rakes? A younger kid became our teacher when cleaning the land. When planting lettuces and spring onions, Annie and I secretly asked every seedling for a favor if it could grow faster. We painted a house, milky white indoors and sky blue with African-style drawings outside. After finishing with the third coating that day, the group was so proud of being called as the most efficient. The house was beautiful, totally arts. I’m thinking of using the same blue for my room, what do you think? I’ll send you the pictures and you are gonna love it.

You will also see my little friends in the SOS village, including Vanlacia, a tall girl who was always in purple. We hit it off instantly and became good friends. She told me that they all loved the Chinese, and Chinese movies as well. Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan were both her favorite movie stars. She picked out several classic Chinese movies and asked me to watch together. I was amazed by her excellent English, and she even practiced French with me. It seems that the English penetration rate there is higher than in China, but I need to prove that through researches I may take when I am back.

Well, if you ask me about the most unforgettable experience, it would be the afternoon when Vanlacia introduced one child after another as her siblings. We were astounded: how could only one mother take care of ten children? When I taught them "wo ai ni" ("I love you" in Chinese), she whispered at me that I was also her family. What we did not realize was that a home could contain much more than we thought. Dad, what jumped into my mind at that moment was the book you showed me, Stefan Zweig’s autobiography, Yesterday’s World. I eventually understood why he wanted to be a

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global citizen; therefore everyone would be family.

So dad, I’d like to say thank you. Thanks for your support for my decision to take this visit while grandparents were strongly against it, in worries of the terrible infectious diseases in Africa. You know there’s a little boy living in me, not afraid of anything. In Grade 8, a Frisbee cut my front tooth into half so now I own a firmer resin one; At ten, my cousin and I squeezed in the supermarket trolley, and I protected her and broke my arm when the trolley turned over; even though I still modeled on the stage with the sunniest smile and the covered plaster. Three years ago, when my face was kissed a flash from a shooting-to-crowd firework, I calmed down my mom who was about to cry; in spite of my burnt eyelid, eyebrow, eyelashes, even the hair that Vanlacia was envious of, we enjoyed the scheduled beach vacation with the accompaniment of my sunglasses. Life has been an adventure and fortunately I went through and recovered. I was determined to pay a visit to Swaziland and find out by myself how the country was like and what I could possibly do, not just learning the quantitative data reporting that the HIV rates reached forty and how destructive it was to the economy. It turned out to be one of my best adventures. Thank you, dad! Not only for this one, but all the trips you’ve sent me to, Dubai, Australia, Malaysia…and shortly two years ago, Vancouver. I got used to and fit in the community, in U-Hill Sec, in Mulgrave and IB quickly. People say that it is the culture malleable personality, as I’ve found the balance between the western and Chinese cultures. But I believe that "Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount", by the US dramatist and legislatress C. B. Luce. We only live once and there’s no time to panic. Your little fearless daughter has learnt to take better care of herself as she ventured. Please tell grands not to worry, and you too.

It 's never been a short letter every time I write to you. The tangible letters in the care of your calligraphy make me feel as if you were beside. I’m starting my senior year, and in 2010 I will be taking another adventure in the new chapter of my life. I will do it my way and do my best. I’m looking forward to a more real life and a bigger world, as one day I will travel all over it. And I’m looking forward to seeing you. I miss you. Please take care of yourself, grands and everyone. Call me whenever you have time.

I miss you so much, baba.

Love always

敬爱的爸爸：

您好！您最近过得怎么样？

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自从在春季休假期间见过您之后，已经过了 4 个月了。我现在在从非洲斯威士兰飞 往温哥华的飞机上。这次旅程我们要转 3 次飞机，大概要花 40 个小时的时间。我跟您 提过安妮，是吧？她是法籍的埃及人，此刻我的这个朋友仍然兴奋得睡不着觉，还让我 帮她向您问好。在非洲的这段时间一切都很棒。德比尔先生说我已经把心留在了那里， 确实是这样。

那里有我所到过的其他城市所没有的乐趣。我得告诉您，我刚到那里的一些体验。 您知道怎么用耙子么？一个小孩子成为了我们犁地方面的老师。当种莴苣和大葱时，安 妮和我悄悄向每个种子许了愿，希望它们快快长大。我们也粉刷了一间房子，在房子内 部我们用了乳白色，而外部用了天蓝色的涂料，并点缀上了非洲风格的图画。那天在完 成第 3 遍粉刷后，我们组被称为效率最高的粉刷匠。对这个称号我们感到非常自豪。整 个房子粉刷后很漂亮并极具艺术感。我想在自己的房间里也涂上这种颜色，您觉得怎么 样？我会把照片发给您看看，您肯定会很喜欢的。

在照片中，您也能看到我在 SOS 儿童村的朋友们。其中，有个高高的、常穿紫色衣 服的是凡莱西亚。她和我很投缘，所以我们很快就成为了好朋友。她跟我说她们都很喜 欢中文和中国电影。像李小龙和成龙都是她们很喜欢的电影明星。她还挑了几部经典的 中国电影邀请我一起观赏。她的英文好得让我很吃惊，她甚至还可以跟我一起练习法语。 看起来那个地方的英文推广程度比中国要广很多，但是可能我需要回来做些研究来证明 我的这个观点。

您要问我什么最难忘的话，我会说，那是凡莱西亚介绍他的兄弟姐妹给我认识的下 午。我们很惊讶，都在想：“她的妈妈一个人是怎么来照顾这 10 个孩子的呢？”而当我 教他们如何用中文说“我爱你”的时候，凡莱西亚在我耳边轻声说，我也是她们家庭的 一员了。我们从没有意识到，家庭的含义远远超过我们的想象。爸爸，那一刻跳进我脑 海的是您给我看过的斯蒂芬·茨威格的自传《昨日世界》。我终于明白了为什么他想成 为世界公民，因为那样的话世界上的每个人都成了他的家人。

所以，爸爸我想对您说声谢谢。虽然爷爷奶奶当初坚决反对我的这次旅行，怕我感 染上非洲可怕的传染病，但是您对我的决定很支持。对此我由衷地谢谢您。您知道我就 像个假小子不怕任何的危险。在八年级的时候，一个飞盘把我的门牙打断，所以现在我 的嘴里有了一个用坚固的树脂补过的门牙。10 岁的时候，表妹和我挤在超市的推车里。 当推车翻掉时，为了保护她，我的胳膊摔断了。现在我还可以傻笑着模仿当时打石膏时 的样子。三年前，我被射向人群的焰火击中了脸部、眼皮、眉毛、睫毛，甚至曾让凡莱 西亚都羡慕不已的头发都给烧掉了。即使是在这种的情况下，我也尽量让马上要嚎啕大 哭的妈妈冷静下来。这次事件的结果是太阳镜陪伴我度过了整个的海滩假期。生活本身 处处充满了危险，幸运的是我都侥幸地活了下来。量化的具体数据反映了在斯威士兰艾 滋病比例达到了 40%，并且这给整个国家带来毁灭性的打击。但我并不想只是通过这些

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数据来了解这些。在这种想法下，我下定决心想独自去斯威士兰看一下这个国家是什么 样子以及我在那里所能做的事。结果，那次冒险成为了我最棒的一次经历。谢谢您，爸 爸！不只是为了那一次，而是为了所有您允许我参加的旅行像去迪拜、澳大利亚、马来 西亚以及两年前来到温哥华等。在温哥华，我很快融入了当地的环境，习惯了 U-Hill 中 学和马尔格雷夫学校的国际中学毕业会考课程。人们说这是由于我的文化的适应能力， 他们认为我找到了西方文化和中国文化的平衡点。但我却始终相信美国的剧作家和国家 议员卢斯 C.B 说过的“勇气是其他所有美德向上升的阶梯”这句话。我们只有一次生命， 没有多余的时间去害怕什么。你们无所畏惧的小女儿需要在冒险中学会照顾自己。请您 不要担心，也不要让爷爷奶奶担心。

每次给您写的信都很长，您那生动的笔体让我觉得您就在我身边。我要上高三了。 2010 年，我还将揭开我生命里新的一章，开始新的冒险。我会按照自己的方式尽最大努 力去探索。我期待着更加真实的生活和一个更加广阔的世界。因为终有一天我的足迹将 遍布整个世界。而且我很期待见到您，我很想您。请注意照顾好自己、爷爷奶奶和其他 所有人。有时间的时候请您给我打个电话。

十分想念您，爸爸

永远爱您

文章 50

I determined to study biology and chemistry and pursue a medical career when I was only eight years old. I am not bragging. Let me tell you my story.

My grandmother was a doctor. One day, she took me to the hospital where she worked

She had often told me that there was a "magical" doctor in her hospital, so I asked her to show him to me. I followed her into the dimly lit hallway, squirmed through the legs of the standing and jogged past the sitting people. The queue started from the front doors all the way toward two large wooden doors.

"Why are so many people lined up here?" I asked my grandmother.

"They are waiting to get treated by the magical doctor," she answered, smiling mysteriously.

When we finally reached the head of the line, I placed my hands on the cold wooden door and forced it open. Bright white light filled my eyes as I beheld the mystic scene.

The enormous rectangular room was no difference to any other room in the hospital.

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Its four walls were painted snow white, without a speck to disrupt its uniformity; dozens of flag-like banners, certificates and medals lined the walls, all of which addressed to a specific doctor: several extra large diagrams of the human body were hung on the wall opposite the door, with the important acupuncture points labeled. An elderly man limped into the room, his trembling hand tightly holding a crutch. The doctor, a young man, helped him onto the bed and started pressing the his back gently with the palms.

"Doctor…I’ve got back pain for many days ," the elder started, voice quivering. "Please, please help me and remove my pain…"

The doctor changed the position of his hands while looking intently at the human diagram in front of him, as if trying to burn a hole through it with his eyesight. "I understand…please close your eyes and rest now…" With every subtle push, the doctor seemed to be transmitting supernatural power from his hands to the elder’s organ systems. The more intently I stared, the more I was able to see invisible light sparks flying out from the doctor’s palms, dancing around and then disappearing into the elder’s back.

"Hello," the doctor’s lips moved. My concentration broke. "You came to see me?" I nodded, wondering why he stared at the human diagram instead of at me while talking. "I’ll take that silence as a yes." I was going to ask him about his behaviour when he suddenly took his hands off the elder’s back. "Sir, you are fine now…your pain should have been lifted."

I gaped in surprise as the elder got off the bed in perfect health, his back straightened up and colours returned to his wrinkled face. He shook hands with the doctor, tears of joy streaming down his face. I watched as the elder walked out the door, his walking stick under his armpit.

I asked my grandmother about the massager’s odd behaviour after I left the clinic room. "Are massagers supposed to stare at diagrams all the time?"

My grandmother chuckled. "No, but the massager was special." She paused. "He couldn’t see, dear. He was blind."

My eyes grew wide with surprise and fear. "But how did-" I stopped as my grandmother shrugged. How did he massage without seeing anything? Yet he did his job in such a spectacle! He was helping and serving those in need even though he was the one in need of help himself. If he could do all this in the dark, then… "Grandma!" my voice

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sounded so sternly that I couldn’t believe it myself. "I will become a doctor when I grow up! I will heal that massager’s eyes and let him see light again!" My grandmother was at first shocked at my sudden declaration, but she started smiling when she saw my serious expression.

"Give that goal a try," she said. "You never know what you can accomplish."

From then on, the dream of becoming a doctor rooted in my heart.

In high school, I enjoy taking biology and chemistry courses the most, and even during extracurricular hours, I volunteer at the Vancouver Coastal Health centre, a provincial-based health clinic, as Parent/Infant Drop-In Assistant and Child Immunization Clinic Assistant. The way to success may be long and treacherous; however, with a determined heart, I believe I can see the light.

在 8 岁那年，我决定学生物和化学，然后追求我的医生梦想。我并不是在吹牛。让 我来说说我的故事吧。

我的奶奶是一名医生。有一天，她带我去了她工作的那家医院。

她以前经常对我讲，在她那家医院有一位很“神奇”的医生，所以我请求她带我去 看看。我跟着她进入灯光昏暗的过道。人们有的坐着，有的站着，我从你们的腿间艰难 地穿过。候诊的队伍一直从前门排到两个大的木制门口。

“这里怎么会这么多人排队啊？”我问奶奶。

她神秘地笑了一下，告诉我说：“他们都在等着那位神奇的医生来给他们看病呢。”

我们终于排到了队首。我用双手使劲地推开了那扇冰冷的木门。我看见神奇的一幕， 一束白色的光线映入我的眼帘。

那个矩形的大房间跟医院的其他房间没有不同。四面的墙被刷成了雪白色，上面甚 至没有一个斑点破坏它的匀称。在墙上挂着 12 面旗子般的横幅、各种证书和奖章，所 有这些上面都写了医生的名字。有几幅超大的人体结构图挂在门对面的墙上。有一位上 了年纪的男人一瘸一拐地走了进来，他那只紧紧握着拐杖的手一直在发抖。这位年轻的 医生扶他上了床，然后开始用手心温柔地按那个老人的后背。

“医生啊……这几天我背部一直很疼，”那位老人用颤抖的声音开始说话，“请您帮 帮我，给我治治吧。”

医生的手动了一下，他正专注地看着他面前的人体图，似乎要用他的眼睛在上面看 穿一个小洞似的。“我明白……现在请您闭上眼睛休息吧。”通过他每次微妙的推拿，医

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生好像在用自己的手把超自然的力量传到老人的身体上。我越专注地看，越能够看清医 生手心迸出来的光亮的火花，跳着舞，然后在老人的后背消失。

“你好，”医生说了一句话。我的注意力分散了。“你来看我了？”我点了下头，有 点觉得奇怪，因为他在跟我说话的时候，没有看我却在看人体解剖图。“你沉默，那就代 表是了。”我正想问问他为什么总盯着那张图看，他突然把那只手从男人的背上移开了。 “先生您现在好了，您的背应该不会疼了。”

当那位老人轻松地从床上起来的时候，我惊得目瞪口呆。他直了直身体，好像脸色 看起来也变好了。他和医生握了握手，高兴地眼泪顺着面颊流了下来。我看着这个老人 夹着拐杖走出了门。

在我离开诊所之后，我问了奶奶关于医生奇怪的举动，“做按摩的人是不是都是一直 瞪着图解呢？”

奶奶轻声地笑着说：“不是，但是这位按摩医生是个例外。”她停顿了一下说：“他看 不见，亲爱的，他是个盲人。”

我感觉很震惊，瞪大了双眼。“但是，他怎么会……”奶奶耸肩的时候我停了下来。 他什么都看不见怎么会按摩呢？而且按摩得还这么好！那时他在帮助那些陷入困境的人， 虽然他自己也是一位需要帮助的人。要是这么黑他都能做的话，那……“奶奶！”我的 口 气坚定的连我自己都不能相信，“我长大要成为一名医生！我会治好那位按摩医生的眼睛， 让他重新看见光明。”奶奶一开始对于我突然的宣布感觉很震惊，但是当她看见我严肃的 表情时，她笑了。

“朝着目标努力吧，”她说，“你永远无法预测你的成就到底能有多大。”

从那时开始，医生的梦想就在我心中扎根了。

在高中的时候，生物和化学课是我最喜欢的课程。即使是在课外时间，我也到温哥 华海岸健康中心里当志愿者，在省级的健康医疗诊所做一个父母——婴儿助理和儿童免 疫所助理。虽然到达成功的漫长道路上困难重重，然而，怀着坚定的信念，我相信我能 看见光明。

文章 51

I shuffle past the lobby to the backroom of the library. As I turn the knob, cracking open the door, I spot a familiar face. It is G. Taking a seat at the table, I scoot over beside him. Like many of the students I tutor, G comes from a family of immigrants, and the same is true of many others in our neighborhood. He reminds me of myself when I was younger, pencil in hand, eager to learn.

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I point toward his backpack, and he takes out his folder. He speeds through the math worksheets like usual, adding and subtracting with ease. But when we start on his English homework, I sense his unease. He has difficulty with this subject. So together we go through his worksheets slowly, making sure that he understands every part.

I look at the clock and it is five minutes until seven. The afterschool-tutoring program ended at six thirty and Gabriel's parents should have been here about half an hour ago. But it's fine, I don't mind staying later with him. We pour over a copy of Pinnochio while we wait for his parents, with him reading it first, and then me correcting his mistakes the second time around.

As we approach the end of the story, we hear a light rapping on the door. It is G’s mother. She gives a sigh of relief when she sees G. She seems worn-out, shoulders slumped, with deep breathing, right out of work. She is glad that G is here and finds comfort in that. I tell her that we made good progress today, and Gabriel translates that for her. He reminds me of myself when I was younger, translating in English for my own parents. Gabriel's mom asks me something in her thick Portuguese accent, but I do not quite understand. G tells me that she is asking if I will be here tomorrow. I say yes, and that comforts her.

When I think about G and the kids like him that I tutor, I am reminded of myself. Coming from a household in which neither parent spoke very much English, I struggled with schoolwork. With both parents knowing just as much English as me, if not less, I had no one to turn to. My parents were concerned about my education and I turned to afterschool programs like the one G turned to. The help I received there influenced me and shaped me, and kept me from falling through the cracks. Had I not gotten the assistance I needed, I would never have been able to have the opportunities I've been able to have, or the achievements I've made.

Like G, coming from an immigrant family, I soon became of vital importance in my family. As the one with strongest English, at a young age, I was depended on to help translate for my parents. I read to them their mail in English, and communicated with adults in English because they could not. From this experience, I know how important it is to help G, because I know he will be the lifeline for his family.

Coming from an increasingly diverse neighborhood and growing up in an immigrant family, I understand the challenges that are faced by the children of immigrants. I understand how, with my help, as G's mother is unable to help him, I can influence his life. I also know how helping him will help his family as well. When I think of G and the

130 第 3 部分 申请文实例 kids I tutor, I am reminded of how grateful I am to be where I am today and I feel indebted. Because of kids like G,I understand my purpose to my neighborhood, and know that I can change the lives of the next generation of kids just like us.

我慢吞吞地走过大厅，到了图书馆后面的一间。在拧开门把进屋的同时，我注意到 了一张熟悉的脸。那是 G。我快步走到他旁边，然后在桌边选了个位子坐了下来。和我 辅导的其他学生一样，G 来自于移民家庭，附近还有许多像他这样来自移民家庭的学生。 他让我想起我小时候，手里拿着笔，很渴望学习。

我指了指他的背包，他拿出了自己的文件夹。像平时一样，他做着数学题，很熟练 地加来减去。不过，到写英语作业的时候，我感觉到了他的不安。他的英语学的不是特 别好。所以我们一起帮助他完成英语作业，速度很慢以确保让他理解每一个部分。

我看了下钟表时，已经是 7 点差 5 分了。课外辅导 6 点半下课，G 的父母半个小时 之前就应该到这儿的。不过没事，我不会介意跟他再多呆一会儿。在等他父母的时候， 我们拿出了一本《木偶奇遇记》，他先读，然后再由我纠正他的错误。

快要读完的时候，我们听到一声轻轻的敲门声，是 G 的妈妈。当她看到 G 的时候舒 了一口气。她似乎有些疲惫，耷拉着肩膀，深深地吸了一口气，看来是刚下班。看到 G 在这儿，她很高兴，而且感觉轻松了很多。我告诉她我们今天有进步，G 把我的话翻译 给她听。他让我想起了我小的时候，也总是把英语翻译给我的父母。G 的妈妈用带着浓 重的葡萄牙口音的英语问了我什么东西，但是我没有听懂。G 跟我说，她在问明天我还 在不在这儿。我给了她肯定的回答，这让她很高兴。

每次想到我辅导过的像 G 这样的孩子的时候，我都会想起了我自己。在家里，父母 两人都不怎么说英语，当时我也觉得写英语作业特别难。因为家里爸妈的英语水平也不 比我高，这样，没有人帮我辅导作业。然而父母很关心我的学习，然后我像 G 一样参加 了课后辅导课。我在那时候得到的帮助对我的影响和帮助很大，避免了我一败涂地的下 场。如果当时没有那些帮助的话，我就不会得到以后的那些机会，更不会取得今天这样 的成就。

像 G 一样来自移民家庭，我很快就变成了家里非常重要的一员。我是家里英语最好 的，我小小年纪就承担了帮父母翻译的任务。我给他们读英语邮件，因为他们不会英语， 我就替他们跟其他的大人交流。经历过这些，我知道这个辅导对 G 来说是多么的重要， 因为我知道他会变成他家庭的救生索。

我来自一个越来越多元化的社区，在一个移民家庭长大，因此我知道那些移民家庭 的孩子面临的挑战。因为 G 的母亲不能帮他学习，我知道我对他的帮助会影响到他的人 生。我也知道，帮助他也同样是帮助他一家人。当我想起 G 和那些我辅导的其他孩子的 时候，我自己是多么感谢现在的一切，并且有义务去帮助那些孩子。因为像 G 一样的孩

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子，我知道了自己可以为社区做什么，并且我同样知道我能够改变像我们第一代移民这 样的孩子的命运。

文章 52

A deflated brown ball, lying in a corner. The turquoise color peeled off the wall of a five- by- seven meter room. A little boy lied on a dirty sheet in a corner, curled up. There are children's eyes; an unbelievable amount of eyes. They were not staring at me, but the room's atmosphere made me feel that they would, if they just could. But their eyes could not see me. Thirty-five children cowered on the room floor. Most of them had their heads between their legs, hiding their scars. One boy had a scar shaped like a heart. Some did not have eyes at all. Some were small, maybe a foot tall. Some were older, maybe eleven. But the grey uniforms they wore seemed too big and baggy their tiny frames.

This was one of the situations I had to face when coming alone to India to volunteer in orphanages and schools. The project I was participating in was small with only one to three volunteers per year. Besides a local coordinator who lived far away and who would be accessible in emergencies, I had no support from the project itself. For me, that was the beauty of the project. I was on my own, but that allowed me to decide for myself in what direction I wanted to lead the project.

On this particular morning, I came to introduce myself and to get to know the institution. I had been working in orphanages, and did not know until my arrival that this was a school for the blind. I was not even planning to start teaching that day, but upon introducing myself, I was ushered to the playroom abandoned with nothing but a deflated ball. The caretaker left, telling me: "I will be back in four hours."

Starting to speak, I heard my voice like I have never heard it before. They could not see me or understand what I was saying, but they could hear my voice. At this moment, I only existed to them as the tone of my voice. I spoke in German and English, even in Spanish and French; I introduced myself, said "hello", and I knew that, besides the couple of words in Hindi that I slipped in, they had no idea what I was talking about.

I decided to go outside to clear my head. As I stepped in front of the little barrack, an old man walked by. I met him every morning on the corner, where he usually sat watching the world pass by. I invited him once to my little flat for tea and though did not speak English spending time together made us both happy. As he passed me this moment, he makes smiled and an idea popped into my mind. With my few words of

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Hindi, I gave him some money and asked him to buy me a variety of fruits. One of each sort he can find, I told him. Five minutes later he was back with a shriveled mango, a brownish banana, a rotten pineapple and a small green apple. I distributed them to the kids and let them feel the different shapes, surfaces and details. They had never even tasted pineapple or mango before. Usually they just eat rice; twice a day, sometimes with lentils. But I did not get the fruits to serve them but to teach the children the names, because that is why I came; to teach. Education empowers. Education helped me to form my personality. It taught me how to look at the world in many ways, to appreciate all its richness and diversity, and I think that it is something precious which needs to be spread throughout the world.

After a couple of weeks with them, my Hindi got better and I started to teach English and Math. I discovered their vitality and curiosity-their urge to learn. Their living situation made me sad, but what really moved me was their desperate search for love and attention. Their small hands grabbing into the air trying to find somebody to hold on, trying to find their way into a society, that seems to have no space for them.

Before I left, I organized a camp for them. It lasted for three days but then what are these three days compared to the time they spend in their turquoise five- by seven meter room, with a deflated, brown ball in the corner?

一个瘪了的棕色气球躺在这 5 米乘 7 米的房间角落里，而屋子的墙上正剥落着蓝绿 色的涂料。在角落里，一个小男孩蜷缩着，躺在一张很脏的床单上。这里到处都能看到 孩子们的眼睛，数量多得惊人。他们没有盯着我，但这个屋子的氛围让我觉得如果看得 见的话，他们肯定会盯着我的。然而现实是他们无法获得光明。这 35 个孩子畏缩在地 板上。他们中的大多数把头夹在了双腿之间来掩藏自己的伤疤。其中一个男孩有一个心 型的伤疤，一些已经没有了眼球，一些大概只有 1 英尺高，一些年长的大概有 11 岁。 灰色制服在他们瘦小的身上大得像个袋子。

当我一个人到印度的孤儿院和学校做自愿者时，这是我经常要面对的情景。我所参 加的项目很小，每年大概只有 1 到 3 个志愿者而已。除了一个住的很远只会在紧急情况 下可以求助的协调人员，我没有其他任何可以依靠的人。对于我来说，这一点才是这个 项目的魅力所在，因为我要自己决定这个项目的方向。

在这个特别的早上，我了解了这所机构，并且介绍了自己的情况。我之前一直在孤 儿院里服务，但直到到达这里时，我才知道这原来是一所盲人学校。那天没有计划开始 教学工作，但出于介绍自己的需要，我被领进了这间荒废的并且只有一个瘪气球的娱乐 室。然后管理者离开了，他告诉我说：“我会在 4 个小时后回来。”

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我开始讲话，但发现自己的声音与以往不同。他们看不到我，也可能理解不了我在 说些什么，但是他们可以听到我的声音。在这一刻，对于他们来说我的存在只是声音和 音调而已。我可以说德语、英语，甚至西班牙语和法语。我介绍了自己，跟他们打了招 呼。我知道，除了嘴里说出的几个印地语的单词，他们根本就不知道我在说些什么。

我决定出去走走，清醒一下头脑。我走到了那些小营房的跟前。这时一位老人在我 身边走过。其实每天早上我都在这个角落里碰到他，他经常在这里呆呆地看着这个世界 在他身边飞逝。我曾邀请他到我的小公寓里来喝茶，即使是无法用英文沟通，只是在一 起待着也让我们感到开心。就在他面带微笑地在我身旁走过的一刹那，一个想法跳进我 的脑中。说了几个有限的印地语单词，我给了他一些钱，让他帮我多买几种水果回来。 我跟他说在他能找到的品种中一样挑一个。5 分钟之后他给我带回来一个干瘪的芒果、 一个焦黄的香蕉、一个腐烂的菠萝和一个又小又绿的苹果。我把这些水果分发给孩子们， 让他们辨别水果的不同形状，触感和其他一些细节。他们之前从未吃过菠萝和芒果，平 时他们每天只吃两顿米饭，有时加些小扁豆。但是这些水果我不是买来给他们吃的，我 的目的是教会他们这些水果的名字。这也是我来这里教学的原因，也是教育授予我的权 力。教育帮助我形成自己的性格并教会我如何以不同的方式来看待这个世界，欣赏它的 丰富多彩。我想这也是需要把珍贵的教育推广到整个世界的原因。

跟他们相处几个星期后，我的印地语取得了进步，并且我开始向他们教授英语和数 学。我发现了他们具有很强的活力、好奇心以及学习的欲望。他们的生存环境让我感到 伤心。但是真正让我感动的是他们极度渴望别人的关爱和关注。他们的小手不停地比划 着，试图能够抓住某个人。从某种意义上说，他们也是想努力地融入这个无法接受他们 的社会。

在离开前，我为他们组织了一个 3 天的野营活动。但这 3 天的生活，是他们在那个 放着瘪气球，5 米乘 7 米的蓝绿色屋子内的生活所无法比拟的。

文章 53

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Upon reaching 18 years of age, all male Singaporean citizens and second-generation permanent residents are required to serve the Singapore Armed Forces as part of a conscripted army. This is known as "National Service" (NS).

It was a Wednesday morning, 2 am, and I stood atop the Leopard 2A4 tank, staring down one of Germany's largest live firing ranges. My loader, part of a 4-man crew which operated the beast of a machine that I command, lay fast asleep within a cage of

134 第 3 部分 申请文实例 electronics and steel. I stood vigil, paying close attention to the massive influx of radio transmissions that buzzed within the confines of my helmet. There would be no rest tonight for me, as my crew and I waited in silence under a star-strewn German sky for our orders.

I have thousands of snapshots like these, moments in time that transpired over the last twenty-four months of NS. Some of them routine and mundane, while others exciting and extraordinary. Some I long to forget, and there remain others that I hope will never leave my memory. As much as I am glad to have completed my two-year service to my nation, I also dread the thought of leaving all of this behind. The friends I have made, the sense of camaraderie that I have experienced, the knowledge and respect that I gained.

I was, at the start, a vehement opposer to the idea of NS. The thought of spending the next two years inside military camps, having to adhere to regimentation, forced to learn how to operate equipment which I have no interest in, exposed to the danger of ammunition fired from around me, was certainly nerve-wrecking, and it was most definitely an environment that I could not envision myself in. I was but a student before all this started, and I was not prepared to waste the next 2 years of my life taking part of something that I did not want to do. The freedom that I have enjoyed for the past 18 years of my life was being threatened, and I would not stand for it.

It all began with a seemingly innocent letter sent to my home. As I read its contents, a sinking feeling of dread formed within the pit of my stomach. I was informed, in a cruel but concise manner, that I would have to serve NS on the 13th of December later that year. I rushed to consult a senior who was currently serving NS, and he very cordially informed me of the arduous journey that I was about to embark on. No details were spared in the description of the route march, a compulsory 15-mile hike through the jungle tracks of Pulau Tekong, all the while carrying a 44-pound back pack, coupled with a rifle slung around the neck. I was devastated to hear the news.

24 months later, I find myself at the end of my time in NS. I had reached my goal of becoming an officer, and experienced what many of my friends and family could not even begin to think about. I fired weapons, both hand-held and tank-mounted. I hiked through marshes and bashed my way through thick jungles in the heart of Brunei. I endured the cold, bitter nights in Germany with my tank crew with nothing to keep us warm apart from the radiating heat of our tank electronics. However, at the end of it all, these are merely memories which would serve me well as conversation material with

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friends and family. What I took away from the past 2 years were more than that.

I'd say that the army is a lot like life, but I've only been through twenty years of the latter, and am in no position to comment. However, I'd like to think that I've taken away a lot. There are many things that can be learned outside of the army, but some things aren't as strongly reinforced and emphasized as they can be in the army. Bonds forged, experiences shared and lessons learned during ungodly hours and impossible situations are somehow more indelible then others. Respect and tolerance for people from different backgrounds and walks of life were but some of the key values ingrained within me. The idea of NS as a compulsory waste of 2 years backed by government authority had somewhat evolved into an experience that is irreplaceable. New perspectives were uncovered, and important lessons were learned. If I were to be taken back to the year once again, I would definitely, enthusiastically and somewhat animatedly, have jumped on this incredible, life-changing opportunity.

在新加坡，所有的男性公民和第二代永久居民在他们 18 岁那年都必须加入新加坡 武装部队。这被称为“新加坡全民兵役”。

那是一个周三的凌晨两点，我站在豹 2A4 坦克上面，凝视着德国巨大的射击靶场。 我的装载机是由我指挥、另外四个操作的一台机器。在一个由电子和钢筋构成的笼子里， 我们很快就能入睡的。今晚我值夜班，我全神贯注地听着头盔的对讲机中不断发出嗡嗡 的无线信息声，今夜我不睡了，我和我的小组静静地等待着某个星状物出现在德国的夜 空，那就是我们的行动命令。

我在服役的 24 个月内，我的脑海中有成千上万个这样的快照式回忆。有些是平淡 无奇，还有一些是令人激动和非同寻常的。有些是我渴望忘掉，还有一些是希望一生刻 在我脑海里的。尽管我很高兴我完成了两年的服役，但我仍然舍不得把这里的一切抛在 脑后——在这里交的朋友、所经历的战友间的情谊和我所得到的知识和尊严。

一开始，我对全民兵役制度有很强烈的反感。将有两年的时间在军事营地度过，受 严格控制，被迫学习操作那些自己一点兴趣都没有的机器，置身在弹药爆炸的危险环境 里，一想到这些就使我神经崩溃，我没办法想象自己在这种环境下生活。在这之前我还 是个学生，我远远没有准备好将来两年的时间要浪费在我根本不愿意去做的事情上。之 前的 18 年来我享受的自由开始受到威胁，而我根本就不想要这样。

一切从那封寄到我家的看起来很白净的信开始。当我阅读内容的时候，有一种很沉 重而且很可怕的感觉堵在我的胸口。信是以残酷而简单的方式通知我在当年 11 月 13 号 履行国民服役。我立马跑去咨询一个正在服役的老士兵，他很诚恳地告诉我将要面临的 艰巨旅程。他很详尽地介绍了徒步行军训练。每个人必须要携带 44 英镑的背包，穿

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过有 15 英里的 Pulau Tekong 丛林小径，同时还要在脖子上悬挂步枪。听到这些我惊 呆了。

24 个月之后，到离开军队的时候了，我实现了做一名军官的目标，也经历了我的很 多家人和朋友想都没有想过的人生考验。我发射武器，无论是手持的还是坦克的。我徒 步通过沼泽地，穿越过 Brunei 中心那些茂密的丛林。在德国，我和我们小组除了我们坦 克的电热之外没有其他东西可用来保暖的时候，我忍受了使人战栗的寒冷，刺骨的黑夜。 然而，到了最后，这只是我跟我家人、朋友聊天的时候说的一些话而已。这两年的时间 我经历的一切远远超过那些。

可以说军队生活很像一个人的人生，但我只是经历了人生的 20 年而已。所以我根 本没有资格去评论。然而，我相信我的收获很多。军队外有很多东西可以学，但有些 事情只有在军队里才会被着重强调。形成的友谊，彼此分享的人生经历和另外的一些东 西——在不幸的时候，在一些棘手的形势下经历的这一切是不可磨灭的。要尊重和宽容 那些有着不同经历和不同生活方式的人。被当局强迫性地浪费两年的观点不知怎么搞的 变成了无可代替的人生经验。要是让我重新回到当年的话，我会很确定、很热情，而且 略有几分兴奋地接受这个不可思议的、能改变人生的机会。

文章 54

Have you ever thought a good friendship is too hard to make? In my past, I used to think I would never have any problems with my friends until I came to US. Evaluating myself, I believe that I am a good friend; I am always willing to help friends who are in trouble. As an international student, I really need friends to help each other in case we meet with difficulties. However, after a year in America, I changed my mind. I met two kinds of friends, and both of them taught me a lesson: to make friends with somebody is easy, but it's too hard to get close to them. The experience made me grow up and be more independent than I thought I could be.

I remember the day I came to US to study. I didn't depart alone. I met many Vietnamese students who also studied at Highline on the same fight. It made me feel happier and relieved my mind. I would have friends in the new environment. We lived in the dormitory, helped new comers like me to adapt to the new life because they used to be exchange students, and had dinner together. I thought I was lucky at the beginning of my studying. They became my magnetic needle and I depended a lot on them. For example, when I opened a bank account, I had to ask them go with me; or I registered for the same class with them although we are not the same major...Three months later, all of us moved out. I thought that living with friends was not easy

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because everybody has his or her own personality. So I carefully chose the friends whom I was close to.

We were 7 people living in a 4- bedroom house. At first, we were similar to a close- knit family. Day by day we had some small arguments. As the oldest person, I used to make concessions to them. I thought the problems would be solved soon. In contrast, the more I tried to heal all sorrows, the more they opposed me. They usually spoke against me behind my back, irritated and played unfairly with me. I began to feel isolated in the house and be very upset at that time. Now everything I did by myself. I bought food, went shopping, and came to school alone. They didn't talk to me anymore...

At school, I had a few new friends who just came to Highline in winter that year. After knowing my problems, they encouraged and helped me a lot. When I moved out to live with a host family, the old friends seemed to be happy. They didn't help me although they are boys and I am a girl. They stood and looked at me while I was carrying the heavy luggage. Fortunately, the new friends came late but they helped me to move my luggage and stuff. They also assisted me to arrange stuff in my new room. Now they are still my best friends. I want to send them a thank you message.

When I look back on my last year, I realize that I grew up after this experience." A true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you" (Friendship- Mohatta). In my opinion, I couldn't agree with this statement any more. Friendships need time to determine who is a good friend or a bad friend. I also become independent. I don't need to live with someone who takes care of me. Now I feel happier. I passed my big problem: culture shock because of bad friends. I can concentrate on my study a lot. Doing something by myself makes me confident and gives me self control. That is also the reason why my parents allowed me to study abroad. They want me become an independent girl.

Although I felt hurt by this experience, I am glad that now I become a mature woman. I can do what I need and do not care much other people's opinions. I just do bravely those things I think are right. "We are all travelers in the wilderness of the world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend", Robert Louis Stevenson. Friends will be a part of our life, so we should choose them wisely.

你有没有想过真正的友情很难得到？来美国之前，我从未觉得自己在交朋友上会有 什么问题。审视自己，我自认为是个可交之人，也愿意在朋友危难之际伸出援手。作为 一个国际交换生，我确实十分需要朋友，在遇到麻烦时可以互相帮助。然而，在美国度 过一年之后，我不再这么认为。我曾遇到两种类型的朋友，和他们交往，我学到了一点：

138 第 3 部分 申请文实例

交朋友容易，但是交个更近一步的好朋友却非常困难。不管怎样，这些经历让我成长， 并使我变得比想象中更加独立。

我记得启程到美国学习的那一天，离开的时候发现，我不是独自一人。在同一个航 班上，我遇到了许多也在海蓝社区大学学习的越南学生。这使我感觉非常高兴，终于可 以放松了，因为在新的环境下我将会有朋友了。我们吃住基本都在一起，由于他们有过 交换生的经验，所以他们帮助像我一样的初来乍到的学生适应新的生活。我想我有了一 个不错的开始。他们就像是磁棒一样，很多事情我都要依靠他们。比如说，我要他们陪 我去开银行账户，并且虽然我们不是同一个专业，我也选了跟他们一样的课程。3 个月 后，我们都搬出了学校，住在了一起。后来我才意识到与朋友住在一起不是那么简单， 因为每个人都有他或她独特的性格。所以我开始在交友上小心翼翼，并有选择性地结交 新朋友。

我们 7 个住在一幢有 4 间卧室的房子里。起初，我们生活得好像一个关系紧密的家 庭。日子一天一天地过去，我们开始有了小的争吵。作为所有人当中年龄最大的人，我 常常做出让步。因为我觉得问题应该会很快解决。但没想到，我越努力地弥补这些伤痛， 他们越是跟我对着干。他们经常在背后说我坏话，跟我生气，并且跟我耍阴谋。我在这 屋子里越来越感到孤立，并且非常的不舒服。我开始独自一人做事情，我自己买吃的、 自己逛街、自己去学校。他们也不再跟我说话。

在学校里，我认识了一些刚刚在当年冬天来到海澜学习的朋友。在知道我的遭遇后， 他们鼓励我并帮助了我很多。当我决定搬出来住到一个寄宿家庭时，那些来自越南的老 朋友似乎觉得很开心。尽管我是一个女孩，但这些男孩也没有伸出任何援手。我拎着重 重的行李离开时，他们就站在那里眼睁睁地看着。幸运的是，我这些迟些时候来的新朋 友们帮我搬走了行李和其他东西，并且帮我把所有东西在新屋子里摆放好。现在他们仍 然是我最好的朋友。我真的想为此给他们写一封感谢信。

回首过去的这一年，我意识到这次经历之后我变得成熟了。“即使全世界都反对你， 真正的朋友也会支持你”(友情-莫哈塔)。在我看来，这句话十分正确。朋友的好坏是需 要时间来证明的。我也开始变得独立起来，不再需要与其他人一起住，也不需要别人来 照顾我。现在我活得更加快乐，因为我克服了交友不慎所带来的文化冲击。更多的注意 力也可以放在学习上了。独立做事使我变得自信，并且让我有自控的能力。这也是父母 允许我到国外学习的原因，他们想让我变成一个独立的女孩。

尽管这次经历曾经让我感到伤心，但现在我为自己的成熟而感到开心，因为不用考虑 别人的想法，我可以勇敢地做自己认为是正确并且需要做的事情。罗伯特·路易斯·史 蒂文森曾说，“我们都是这个茫茫世界的旅行者，在旅途中我们能找到最好的宝藏就是一 位真诚的朋友。”朋友是生命中不可缺失的一部分，所以我们应当进行理智的选择。

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文章 55

It was my last day in the States, and it might as well be the worst. The clear sky and blazing sun reminded me of the approaching summer. Noise of laughter blended with the excitement of others talking about their summers. I couldn’t be part of the noise, not any more. My flight back home is on the following morning, but at the very moment, the excitement of others irritated me: no one seemed to care about my leaving. The camera that I brought to record this last moment with my friends was intact, until everyone left. I started to doubt all the splendid memories I had during the past two years.

It was 8 o’clock on a Friday evening. The whole school had lighted out except for the dining hall where two of my friends and I were climbing up and down in order to make the huge undecorated area into a Chinese tea house. After a whole month of groundwork, the first International Café was going to be held the next morning. As the first international student during the 150-year-history, I was eager to create a community of different cultures in the school. Figuring the least I could do was to introduce my culture, I pleaded my friends to help me with the last minutes’ preparation. Even though having complained the whole evening, we were all giggling looking at the archaic, striking tea house when we finally finished at 12am.

I was sitting at the breakfast table, half asleep, with all the family members of my first host family, the Duncan’s. As a family tradition, it is the first thing we do in the morning: pick a book from our collection and take turns to read it. I was never fond of the tradition at the beginning of the year, when I had to slur through most of the words without knowing their meanings. It wasn’t until the middle of the year had I become more comfortable to read in front of the family. Since then, I gradually became addictive to the morning "tea time". I miss those mornings as I moved out from the Duncan: I miss the fragment of the scramble eggs and fresh toasts amidst others’ reading voices, the family leisure before a beginning of a busy day.

I ran in the rain, along with my host sister Heather. It was a Marathon day in Chicago, my second host parents, the Tills, decided to participate; Heather and I went to support them. The Tills had a long history in running, all family members were excellent runners: they ran for fun, for exercise and, for Marathons. I on the other hand wasn’t a runner at all; having failed the 1200 meters tests through Grade 6 to Grade 9, running was the sport I didn’t want to involve in. However, when running and shivering in the rain on the Marathon day, accompanied by the throng of other runners, I felt nothing but pure

140 第 3 部分 申请文实例 gratification. From that day on, Heather promised to train me on running, and I’m again part of another family’s tradition.

It was then a call from two friends interrupts these rewinding of snapshots: "Hey, come to play bowling with us!" I arrived at the bowling place within 10 minutes and ran inside in a hurry to join them. All the sudden I was stopped, stunned, by a thunderous "surprise" from behind. There was everyone: my host families, my friends and even two of my favorite teachers; it was hard to express my emotions at the time. Like finishing the decoration for the International Café, reading with my host family before sunrise, running in the poring rain: I was touched and cheered.

Some people say life is a journey; in that case, the route I chose has gorgeous landscape. Having been to Britain at the age of 13 on my own and to the United States at the age of 16, I enjoyed the process of fitting into a new culture, embracing new challenges, and perceiving the world from a new perceptive. Just like what Henry Miller stated: one’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.

这是我在美国的最后一天，也可以说是最糟糕的一天。晴朗的天空和耀眼的阳光提 醒着我，夏天快要到了。吵闹的笑声掺杂着其他人兴奋地讨论夏日计划的声音。我不是 制造这次“喧嚣”的一员，以后也不会是了。我回国的航班定在第二天的早上。但是， 此时此刻，我被这些兴奋的人们激怒了，没有人在乎我的离开。我带来了准备记录与朋 友在一起的最后时光的照相机，直到所有人都来了还原封没动。我开始怀疑过去两年美 好的记忆。

那是周五晚上的 8 点钟。整个学校里，除了餐厅，所有的灯都灭了。我和两个朋友 正爬上爬下的工作，准备把这个简简单单的大屋子装扮成一个中国茶屋。经过一个月的 准备工作，第一届“国际饮品节”将于第二天在这里举办。作为该校 150 年来的第一位 外国学生，我希望在学校创建一个多文化的团体。我认为，至少我可以介绍我自己的文 化。我请我的两个朋友帮我完成最后的准备工作。虽然整晚都在抱怨，但是到了深夜 12 点，当看到了一个古香古色的茶屋的时候，我们都笑了。

早上，半梦半醒的我和 Duncan 一家坐在餐桌前。Duncan 家是我的第一个寄宿家庭。 他们有一个传统，早上的第一件事就是从藏书中选出一本，然后轮流朗读。年初的时候， 我对这项传统一点都不喜欢。那时，我只能含混地读着根本就不知道含义的词汇。直到 年中，我在全家面前朗读的时候才变得舒服了一些。从那时起，我开始对“早茶”着迷 了。离开 Duncan 家的时候，我怀念这里的每个早晨，怀念一边聆听别人朗读的文章， 一边品尝煎蛋和烤面包片的早晨，怀念忙碌的一天开始前的家庭休闲时刻。

在雨中，我跟着 Heather 跑着。她是我寄宿家庭中的姐姐。Tills 夫妇(我第二个寄宿

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家庭的家长)决定参加那时芝加哥的“马拉松日”。我和 Heather 都支持他们。Tills 一家 有很长的跑步历史，家里所有人都是出色的跑步爱好者。他们跑步是为了快乐、为了锻 炼身体。可是，我对马拉松可不感兴趣。六年级到九年级的 1200 米跑步测试失利后， 跑步是我最不想参加的体育项目。但是，当雨中瑟瑟发抖的我在“马拉松日”领跑的一 刻，我体会到了喜悦。那天起，Heather 答应训练我跑步。我成为了另一个家庭传统中 的一员。

回忆的片段在我脑中飞速地播放，突然被两个朋友的电话打断了。“嗨，来打保龄球 吧。”他们说道。10 分钟内我就到了保龄球馆，急急忙忙地跑进去找他们。突然，我的 身后发出雷鸣般的呼喊声，我停下脚步，惊呆了。所有的人都在：寄宿家庭成员、我的 朋友，还有我的两位最喜欢的老师。我当时的感情很难表达出来。此刻就像当时完成“国 际饮品节”场地布置的时刻，和一家人在日出前朗读的时刻，冒着倾盆大雨奔跑的时刻， 我感动了，我笑了。

有些人说生活是一个旅程，而我的旅程中充满美丽的风景。13 岁孤身前往英国，16 岁 到了美国，我享受迎接挑战、从新的视角感知世界、融入新文化环境的过程。就像 Henry Miller 说的：“目的地并不是一个具体的地点，而是观察世事的新角度。”

文章 56

"Hey Jack! Congratulations! You got the offer!" The sponsor teacher for the school Career Preparation Program, Mr. Kucherhan, announced that I had just attainted the internship at Ernst & Young, one of the "Big Four" accounting firm in the world. As the only student who got this offer in my grade, I felt more than proud. Looking around, everybody seems to have a natural confidence. But my smile and confidence are different. As I was sitting in my seat with perceptible pride upon the job application result, my memory flashed back to the old days in my home country.

"Jack, it’s not allowed to wear hat in class." My grouchy music teacher approached me and coldly took away my hat. The classroom burst into merciless laughter. Under that hat was my bold head with an obese face but innocent eyes riddled with tears.

When I was 6, I was jubilant to move into a new apartment. However, one day while washing my neck, my mom found that part of it was swollen. She took me for an examination and the result was terrifying: malignancy. My mom almost fainted because she knew that malignancy was highly lethal. The day I started my life in hospital opened the gate of abyss full of physical and psychological trauma that a normal 6-year-old would never experience. The treatments were painful at first, but I grew numb as I received endless penetration everyday, transfusion of blood that helped to

142 第 3 部分 申请文实例 sustain my body, and chemotherapy that made me bold and obese.

During those 10 months in hospital, I witnessed peoples’ futile struggle for survival and the cruel reality of death. The shadow on the wall in the dim light of the bedside lamp delineated the arm stretching long in the air as if it was trying to grab something, and gradually it fell as the folks started to cry in misery. However, I was very lucky that I began to recover. I couldn’t really comprehend why mom was crying with a big smile on her face on our way back home, but I couldn’t be happier as I finally bid farewell to the hospital.

The outside world seemed strange to me after such a long time. I felt inferior to people around me and my last remaining confidence evaded when I lowered my head in the piercing laughter. I grew introvert as I played only with myself and my shadow became my best friend. That’s when I developed an intense interest in solo activities like making models of airplane and race car. One day my teacher noticed my hobby when she saw me sitting in the classroom alone and painting a nearly finished F-16 fighter jet model. "How beautiful that plane is! You made it yourself? How long have you been working on it?" "I...I have been working on this plane since the past month...this is for my grandma’s 60th birthday next week…"

I was encouraged to "show my talent" to a broader audience and attended a competition on electric motor driven race car model. "Go Go Go!!" "You can do it!!" "AHH! MAN! that guy’s surpassed my ride!!!" My quietness made me an unnoticeable figure in the boisterous crowd of the contestants. I was fully preoccupied in my last minute motor tuning and gearwheel adjustment. "It’s your turn! Go!" I watched my rocket launched to the race track as it overtook my opponents’ one by one with the roar from that motor engine.

"The second place of the race car competition is...Song with his best time of 2 minutes 46 seconds!" The overwhelming applaud from the audience was something I not even dared to dream for, and my parents were stunned as if the judge had called the wrong name. The honor brought back the smile that had been long absent from my face. Since then I stopped locking myself in my own little world and began to perceive everything from a different perspective.

The scar on my neck tells a secret story of my past, and it is just this past that has shaped me into a brave, confident individual who likes to fit into new environments and takes new challenges without trepidation. I hope that next year I could continue with my adventure in a brand new country-the United States.

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“嗨，杰克！恭喜你获得了邀请！”作为学校“职业生涯预备计划”的发起人， Kucherhan 先生宣布了我已经获得了到世界四大会计公司之一的安永公司实习的机会。 我是这个年级唯一一个获此机会的人，所以我感到无比骄傲。环顾四周，我发现所有的 人都散发着自然的自信，然而我的微笑和信心却与他们不同。我坐在座位上，得到实习 机会的自豪感溢于言表，我的思绪飞回到了以前在祖国的时候。

“杰克，上课不许戴帽子。”音乐老师生气地走向我，无情地摘走了我的帽子。班级 里顿时讥笑声一片，同学毫无怜悯之情。帽子下面是我光光的头顶，我胖胖的脸上幼稚 的眼中充满了泪水。

6 岁那年，我搬进了一个新家，非常高兴。但是有一天我洗脸的时候，妈妈发现我 脖子上有浮肿。她带我去做了检查，结果很可怕：恶性肿瘤。妈妈当时差点昏了过去， 因为她知道，这个结果是极其致命的。住院的第一天意味着，我将开始承受普通 6 岁儿 童从没经历过的心理和生理的痛苦。开始感觉治疗很痛，后来每天不断的输液和输血维 持着我的生命，我变得麻木了。化疗使得我头发脱落、身体发胖。

住院的 10 个月中，我看到了人们为生存而挣扎，体会了现实死亡的残忍。在床头 灯昏暗的灯光的照射下，墙上出现一条臂膀的影子，尽力地向前伸去，似乎要抓什么东 西，随着一阵痛苦的哭泣，它又渐渐地放了下来。然而，我很幸运，我开始恢复了。我 无法理解，在我出院回家的路上，母亲带笑的脸上为什么会布满泪水。能够和医院说再 见让我无比的高兴。

过了这么长时间，外面的世界对我来讲似乎很陌生。我觉得自己比身边的人都差， 而最后的一点信心也在我听到刺耳的笑声低下头的时候消失殆尽。我开始变得内向，经 常自娱自乐，自己的影子成了我最好的伙伴。正是从这时开始，我对单独活动产生了特 别的兴趣，比如制作飞机、赛车的模型。一天，我的老师对我产生了注意，那时我正独 自坐在教室里，给我即将完成的 F16 战机模型上色。“这个飞机真漂亮啊！”老 师 说 ，“你 做的？做了多长时间？”“我，我做了一个月，是送给我爷爷的，他下周生日，”我答道。

老师鼓励我向更多的人“秀才艺”。我参加了一个电动车模比赛。“加油，加油，加 油！”“你能赢！”“哈哈，哥们儿！那小子超过我了！”在吵闹的参赛人群中，我安安静静 的，很不起眼。我全神贯注地关注着赛车最后一分钟的路程，调整好齿轮。“该你了，加 油！”看着我的赛车像火箭般发射出去，伴随着电机的轰鸣声，它一个接一个地超过了我 的对手。

“赛车比赛的第二名是宋。他的最好成绩是两分四十六秒！”观众发出了雷鸣般的掌 声和喝彩声，这是我做梦都没有想到的。父母惊呆了，好像在怀疑评委叫错了名字。获 奖后，久违的笑容再次出现在我的脸上。从那以后，我不在把自己封锁在个人世界里， 开始用新的视角感知周围的一切。

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脖子上的伤疤代表了我一段隐秘的往事。正是这段往事将我造就成一个勇敢、自信 的人。我喜欢适应新的环境，面对新的挑战毫无畏惧。我希望在明年，我可以到一个新 的广阔的国家——美利坚合众国继续我的探险之旅。

文章 57

"Now that Dr. B has once again refused to admit that he is at fault, I think we should give up." Mom initiated the conversation about my orthodontic treatment one year ago.

"But don’t you think if he doesn’t realize his negligence, what has happened to me may happen to his other patients?" I almost jumped up from my seat, startling Mom, "We can also seek legal help."

"Do you know anything about law?"

Discouraged, I shook my head.

"Sweetheart," Dad joined the conversation, "I don’t think it’s worth the time and effort. School is more important. Besides, we are not familiar with the legal system here."

Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw those misplaced brackets on my lower teeth, , secretly wearing away my upper incisors. When I discovered the brackets’ wrongdoings a few months ago, my teeth had already yielded their flat edges to the outline of those brackets. I asked my orthodontist, Dr. B, for a solution. He denied his responsibility and refused to do anything about the misplaced bracelets.

Since we just immigrated to Canada, I understand my parents’ apprehension about the dispute with a professional orthodontist, the complexity of the legal procedures, and above all, our ability to voice our thoughts in this new country. On the other hand, I perceived, behind this bracket’s incident, a new field to explore, an adventure to undertake, and a chance to learn outside the classroom.

I set off on my journey by consulting another orthodontist for a second opinion. Afraid of interest conflict and out of the professionalism, at first, he was reluctant to give his comments. Later, however, moved by my sincerity and earnestness, he described what an orthodontist should do in my case. The different responses from the two orthodontists surprised me. I came to realize that even within the same profession, people may not have the same working ethics. It is too early to predict what my carreer will be, but I will never forget my experience as an orthodontist’s client.

My next step led me to the lawyers’ offices. Mr. X was the third lawyer I had visited in

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two months. The previous two meetings had turned out to be the same: the cases of medical malpractice are quite complicated, time-consuming and costly. As a student, I can not afford a lawsuit financially or time-wise. Mr.X was quite patient. After listening to my recount, he said encouragingly, "I think you’ve done the right thing. Now, in order to win the lawsuit, you need to…" I may not have enough means or time for this lawsuit, but I will do whatever I can regardless of the result, because I am interested in the legal procedures, curious about the legal field, and fascinated by the function of lawyers and judges who keep our society in order.

Persistent and perseverant, I did not stop where I was and explored the other legal avenues by calling the Small-Claims Court, and writing to the College of Dental Surgeons. While I am preparing legal documents that the lawyer needs, I hope the reply from the Court and College will shed more light on what I should do about the malpractice of my misplaced brackets.

From the orthodontist to the College of Dental Surgeons, I have spoken and written a lot. During this process, not only were my thoughts voiced, but I have, as well, come closer to the culture and society of which I am a part. While I have learned to be independent and critical, I have also become more open and less biased.

“既然 B 医生再次拒绝承认是他的失误，我想算了吧。”妈妈就我一年前的牙齿矫 正治疗问题，开始了与我的对话。

“但是他如果不意识到自己的失误，你认为发生在我身上的事情是不是也会发生在 其他病人的身上呢？”我差点从座位上跳了起来，吓了妈妈一跳，说道，“我们还可以寻 求法律援助。”

“但是你了解法律吗？”

我失望地摇了摇头。

“宝贝儿，我认为从时间和精力的角度上讲都不值得，学业更重要。另外，我们对 这里的司法系统又不熟悉。”爸爸加入了进来。

通过镜子，我看着牙上失位的矫治器。它正慢慢地磨损着我的门牙。几个月前我发 现矫治器的问题时，我的原本平整的牙面已经被它的边缘磨损了。我向整牙医生 B 寻求 解决办法。他拒绝承担责任，并且拒绝对放错位的矫治器做任何修正。

由于刚刚移民来到加拿大，我理解，父母害怕与一个专业整牙医生发生纠纷，害怕 复杂的司法程序，尤其害怕我们在这个新国家没有能力表达我们的想法。另外，我觉察 到，在牙箍事故背后，隐藏着一个新的待探索的领域，一段新的探险之旅，一个了解教

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室外面世界的机会。

我到了另外一位整牙医生那里向他咨询我的问题。开始的时候，处于对利益冲突的 顾虑，他不愿意从专业的角度给出意见。但是后来，他被我的真诚和认真的态度感动了， 向我描述了一个整牙医生应该如何就我的问题进行操作。两位整牙医生不同的观点让我 吃惊。我意识到，即使拥有相同的专业资格，人们也可能不会有一样的职业道德。很难 这么早预测我将来从事的职业，但是我永远不会忘记这段整牙经历。

接下来，我去了几家律师事务所。X 先生是我两个月内见的第三个律师。前两次会 面得到的信息一样：医疗事故诉讼非常复杂、费时且昂贵。我一个学生是负担不起高昂 的诉讼费，也耗不起这么漫长的时间。X 先生很耐心。听完我的叙述后，他鼓励我说： “我认为你做得对。那这样，要赢这场官司，你必须……”可能我没有足够的手段和时 间应付这次诉讼，但是我会尽我所能不计较结果，因为我对司法过程感兴趣，对司法很 好奇，而且对律师和保证我们社会秩序的法官着迷。

我执着而坚定，没有停下脚步，通过致电小额诉讼法院和给牙医学院写信，继续探 索其他的司法途径。在准备律师需要的各项材料的时候，我期盼着小额法庭的回复，更 详细地告诉我该如何应对这次牙齿矫正器错位的医疗事故。

从拜访牙医到给牙医学院写信，我说了很多，也写了很多。在这个过程中，我不仅 阐述了我的想法，而且我对我所处的这个社会及其文化有了进一步的了解。在学着变得 独立和爱计较的同时，我的态度也变得更开放、更公正。

文章 58

It was 4:00pm. We were setting the tables for customers in our family restaurant. As I walked out of the kitchen, a man came in through the front door. "God, this early? This is going to be a busy day!" I thought, but little did I know that the situation was nowhere near what I had predicted. The man walked directly to the front counter and demanded for money with a truculent voice. Almost immediately, I realized that something bad was about to happen. I wanted to push the alarm button when all of a sudden my mother stopped me. She asked me to serve the man a cup of jasmine tea. Then she told the kitchen to cook a bowl of beef noodles. Surprisingly, the man left quietly after finishing the noodles. Puzzled with mixed feelings, I looked at my mother with questioning eyes. She later explained that sometimes a warm and sincere gesture can bring out the better side of human nature. I remember what my mother said ever since.

Over the years there have been many occasions when I was able to give a little help

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here and there, but volunteering with the Salvation Army was my first chance to be really involved and committed. On my first day, I was assigned the coffee counter. The counter was swarmed with people instantaneously. They greeted each other, chatted and laughed heartily. It seemed to me that they gathered for more than what their physical body needed. They came for socializing, sharing, and comforting their souls. Therefore, instead of leaving right away after my shift, I left behind to chat with these people. On that day I did not get any tips as I did working at a restaurant, but what I gained was far and beyond monetary value: at a certain point in our life, we may all need help, but the underprivileged are in the most need, physically, spiritually and psychologically.

Serving people with food can quench their hunger, but providing them with education can bring hope to their life. One day when my parents were talking about sponsoring a child in the western part of China, I jumped at the chance. I do not have much, but I can save and cut the unnecessary expenditures. 50 dollars a month can satisfy me with new movies and gadgets, but for a child in the underdeveloped area, this money can provide him or her with food, education, and medical care. It made me extremely blithe that I could use my own power to help somebody at my age. After exchanging letters with this child for several months, I not only got an opportunity to practice my Chinese, but also learned so much from his optimism and unyielding spirit to difficulties. By comparing his life with mine, I came to realize the differences between "want" and "need".

To me, in life there is nothing better or greater than helping others. Whether it is in a metropolitan city or in a remote rural area, there are always people who need our help. As Mother Teresa once said, "Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love." To be able to do my best to help people around me is a satisfaction I feel that cannot be bested by anything else. No matter it is a cup of tea or 50 dollars every month, helping others is what my parents instilled in me since I was a child and has become part of who I am now.

现在是下午 4 点，在家庭饭馆里，我们正忙着为顾客准备餐桌。当我走出厨房时， 一个男人走进了前门。“老天，这么早啊？今天将会很忙啊？”我这么想着，但我一点 也没意识到形势的发展与我预想的完全不同。那人径直地走向了前台，并用粗野的语气 索要钱财。立刻，我意识到情况变得糟糕了。当我想要按下警报器按钮时，突然妈妈阻 止了我。她要我给那个男人端上一杯茉莉花茶。然后她告诉厨房做了一碗牛肉面给他。 出人意料的是那个男人吃完面后静静地离开了。我的心情很复杂并充满疑惑，我用疑问 的眼神看着妈妈。 她稍后对我解释道，有时一个温暖和真诚的举动可以唤起人们善良的

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一面。从此妈妈的这句话印到了我的脑海中。

这么多年来，我参与过许多可以给予人们一些帮助的活动。但是全心全意地去帮助 别人还是当我成为“救世军”志愿者的时候。做志愿者的第一天，我被安排到了咖啡吧 台服务。咖啡吧台前很快挤满了人。人们互相问候、聊天并开怀大笑着。对于我来说， 他们来到这里似乎不只是为了满足身体上的需要，而更多是为了社交，分享和享受精神 上的愉悦。所以在工作结束后，我并没有立即离开而是留下来与这些人聊天。那一天， 我并没有像在餐馆工作时那样得到小费，但是我得到了远远比金钱更有价值的感悟，那 就是在生命的某一时刻，我们都可能需要帮助，但社会底层的人却是最需要得到身体上、 精神上和心理上的帮助。

给人以食物可以解除他们的饥饿，但如果能够提供教育机会给别人却能带给他们生 活的希望。有一天，我的父母讨论如何资助中国西部的一个孩子的学业，那一刻我欢呼 雀跃。我没有太多钱，但我可以省掉不必要的支出来攒钱。每月 50 美元足以满足我对 新电影和杂七杂八东西的需求。但对于一个不发达地区的孩子来说，这些钱足以提供他 或她所需的食物、教育和医疗保健。更令我开心的是，我可以用自己的力量来帮助我的 同龄人。和这个孩子通了几个月的信之后，我不但获得了锻炼中文的机会，而且从他面 对困难的乐观和不屈的精神中学到了很多。跟他的生活对比之后，我意识到了“想要” 和“需要”的现实区别。

对于我来说，生命中没有比帮助别人更好更伟大的事了。不论是在大都市还是在偏 远的地区，总会有需要帮助的人存在。就像特蕾莎修女说的那样：“并不是每个人都能做 出惊天动地的事，但我们可以满怀爱意地去做一些帮助人的小事。”尽最大的努力帮助身 边的人能带来超过任何事所拥有的满足感。无论是一杯茶还是那每个月省下的 50 美元， 这些父母从小灌输给我的要乐于助人的人生理念，现在已成为我生命不可分割的一部分。

文章 59

Not long ago I was on a Duke of Edinburgh’s Award hike, a three-day, two-night expedition on difficult terrains. It was on the second day of the trip that my friends and I encountered a frantic, distraught woman at a wilderness campsite. Beside her lay a dejected black dog whose eyes spelt helplessness. Her 6-year-old terrier fell off a makeshift log bridge, and landed on some rocks. She managed to drag the dog back onto the trail, but had to wait for help since the dog had a broken leg. A few hikers ahead of us passed by, but regrettably could not help due to lack of manpower. The terrier did weigh around 45 pounds.

Most of my team members were not eager to help either. Somebody pointed out that we had not reached our destination yet, and turning back now would jeopardize our

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hike’s validity. Besides, carrying a dog while hiking down serrated paths would be hazardous for us. I knew our initial goal of this expedition, and I also understood the burden that would befall us if we offered our help. However, the trail was not frequented, so who knew how long before the next group of hikers came along? I was reluctant simply to walk away. Pulling my friends off to the side, I shared my thoughts. They agreed, but budged only a little. After I offered to do most of the carrying, they finally gave in and were won over. I felt warm inside, albeit the freezing rain, because our test of altruism was going to make a real difference for a pair of needy companions then and there.

We set the dog on a stretcher made out of a sleeping bag wrapped around two thick branches. The path was just wide enough for one person, so I took up the front, which bore most of the weight, since it was part of the deal. Here we were, trudging slowly on a 1-foot-wide jagged downhill path to the bottom. To my right was a cliff overlooking a steep ravine; to my left, fir tree branches stuck out, bending onto the path and blocking the way. With the feet on slippery road, hands holding the stretcher, I had to brush away the branches with my shoulders or head every now and then. On several occasions I almost fell down. As time passed by, it was getting harder to grasp the sodden wood, and I had to clench the handles very rigidly. Very soon my fingers became numb, and my arms were ready to give in. Thankfully, a friend in front of me turned around, and offered his timely assistance. After overcoming many unexpected difficulties, we finally brought the dog to the woman’s car in the parking lot.

That was some time ago, but the memory of this experience stays with me fresh and vivid all the time. It is not only that we carried an injured dog down the hill, but also that by giving, we helped save a life. As Albert Schweizer once said, "A man is ethical only when life, as such, is sacred to him, that of plants and animals as that of his fellow men, and when he devotes himself helpfully to all life that is in need of help", we can always do something for the people, animals and plants around. When I was a child, I could only cry sadly and helplessly when my pet died. Now I have more ability to help, and it is time to give.

Admittedly, I could not have helped the dog by myself alone. By reflecting on this experience, it occurred to me that success and achievements come from team cooperation and coordination. No matter how able or resourceful I am, I can not go very far without support from my team members. This average hiking experience projects an expedition in front of me. Now I have a better idea about how I should proceed on it and where I am going.

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在不久之前，我参加了爱丁堡公爵奖的远足活动，这个活动要在复杂的地形上进行 三天两夜的远途行进。在比赛的第二天，我和我的朋友们在野外的营地里遇到了一位发 狂恼怒的女士。在她身边躺着一只垂头丧气、眼里透着无助的黑色猎犬。这条 6 岁大的 猎犬从一个临时搭建的圆木桥上摔到了下面的岩石上。这位女士努力地把这条狗拖到了 这条小径上，但是由于狗的一条腿被摔断了，她不得不等待其他人来帮忙。前面的一些 队员经过了这里，但很遗憾由于人手不够无法提供帮助，因为这条猎犬足有 45 磅重。

我们组的大部分组员也不太想伸援手。有人指出我们还没有到达目的地，如果因此 回头的话会危及这次活动的意义，而且背着一条狗沿着交错的山路下行风险是很大的。 我知道这次比赛的目的是什么，同时我也理解如果一旦提供帮助的话，我们身上会承受 多大的负担。可是这条小径是很少有人经过的，没有人知道需要等多长的时间，下一组 远足者才会到达这里。我是不情意就这样离她而去的，所以把朋友们拉到一边，与他们 沟通了一下我的想法，但他们只是稍微地转变了思想。于是我主动要求承担大部分背运 的工作量，这样他们最终还是被我争取了过来并做了让步。在那一刻，尽管天还在下着 冷雨，我的心里却是热乎乎的。因为当时这两个需要帮助的同伴的加入，使得我们通过 了这次与众不同的测试，测试结果证明我们还是无私的。

我们把狗放到了一个用睡袋包裹两根粗树枝做的担架上，这条小路只有一人左右宽， 所以我走在前边，这样我就能像说好的那样承担担架的大部分重量。就这样，我们在这 条一英尺宽的凹凸不平的山路上慢慢地开始了向下的跋涉。我的右侧是悬崖，可以俯瞰 到陡峭的峡谷；在我的左边是弯曲到地上堵住了我们前行道路的杉树枝。有几次我差点 跌倒，因为我需要不时地用肩膀或头挡开这些树枝，同时我的脚要稳稳地走在光滑的路 上，我的手要扶着担架。随着时间流逝，湿润的木头越来越难抓紧，所以我必须紧紧握 住扶手，结果我的手指很快就失去了知觉，而我的手臂也随时可能撑不住。很让人感激 的是，我前面的一个朋友在这个时候转过身来及时地协助了我。在克服了这些无法想象 的困难之后，我们最终把狗送到了那位女士在停车场里的车上。

这件事已经过去一段时间了，但这次经历在我的记忆里却一直还是清晰和生动的。 不只是因为我们把一只受伤的狗抬下了山，同时也是因为我们的付出拯救了一条生命。 就像艾伯特·史怀哲曾经说过的那样“当一个人把所有生命包括植物、动物和他们的同 类都能神圣地对待，并且能致力于去拯救所有需要帮助的生命时，他才是道德高尚的”， 我们总能为身边的人、动物和花花草草做一些事情。当我还是孩子时我只能为我死去的 宠物伤心无助地哭泣，现在我却有了更多的能力去帮助别人，去付出自己的爱心了。

不可否认，我独自一人是无法帮助那条狗的。回想一下这次经历，我意识到成功与 成就源自团队合作和协调。不论我个人是多么有能力和谋略，没有了队友的支持，我是 无法前进多远的。这次普通的远足经历为我映射出一次旅途的轮廓。在这个轮廓上，我 找到了更好的前进方向和前行方式。

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文章 60

The wind flew pass my ears way too fast, slightly shaking the side ofmy helmet. While imitating a series of grapevine skating techniques, I fell down and slammed my face right into gravel. Years passed by, but I can still retain a clear memory of the burning sensation when I twisted my spine; the warmth of the blood I tasted and it staining the ground like a stream of red dots as I ran aimlessly into the park washroom. I did not realize I was crying until I looked into the mirror, the reflection of a face that was half covered in a mixture of tears and blood. The stinging pain choked me as my tongue felt something unusually sharp; broken teeth.

On my way home, the smear began to dry by wave of summer breeze. And all I could think about was how my mother would react. "Will she forbid me from skating? What if I could no longer attend the competition in August?" My thoughts flew away as I stood in front of our apartment. The spatula my mother was holding fell with a crispy wooden sound when she opened the door. From my half closing eyes, I saw the face of sorrow I knew too well and the mild rage. But she hid it well, dapping alcohol swiped with much energy that made me shriek. That night, for the first time, the three of us squeezed to one bed, my parents surrounded me with a tender heat; father rattled on random stories about a circus while my mother answered him with heart sank wittiness. I might as well forget everything about the night but the love I felt contracted with my fast healing wounds.

My family immigrated to Canada for love: their love for me, like millions of others exploring into a new country for the better future of their children. Their love serves to me as motivations but yet the cliché of culture gap applied to every single aspect of my childhood. It was not strange to find my pair of hands becoming more suited to forks and knifes instead of bamboo chopsticks. Fair or not, the freedom I have been longing for clashes in a firework way with their culture traditions, sometimes leaving sparkles of confusion.

As per my parents, no matter how tall I have grown to be, they always see me as a carefree immature child. But it was on that day that something changed. It was a Wednesday. After saying goodbye to other choir students, I hurried to the bus station in a light swift along with mother. Seeing a few grade 8 students from my mentorship class waving, I quickly squished through the crowd. Surprisingly, they all stood up the moment I reached to them. One grabbed my bag and another pushed me down to one of the leather seat, while all the others watched and smiled. I watched their figures

152 第 3 部分 申请文实例 move with the rhythm of the bus, keeping me updated with recent activities while I sunk deep into memory. They were the students that I had watched entering this school. I could still remember those puzzled faces when I first taught them how to use planners; when they came to tears as they confessed their problems and asked me for help.

Wow, is she the shy girl that was afraid to make her freshmen speech now confidently introducing me to all of her friends? And is he the boy that had once asked me if he would get beaten up at the annual dance now laughing with the seniors from the hockey team. Now seeing them on the bus like high school pros, I was happy. As we got off, my mother and I walked; she patted on my shoulder and said "I see you have become quite a figure."Though half clueless, the recognition made my day.

Maybe I do have my own theory on growing up, because I feel an unknown rush inside me. Not able to identify, it struggles to fly away like a caved magpie whenever I smell the scent of fresh pavement on a new skate course. At times it feels like monarch butterflies trying to find their way through my stomach whenever I hear the distinct sound of skates colliding with the ground. It comes out like a monster when I hear the worried voice of my mother in the back of my head telling me to be careful. But I simply can’t listen. This rush builds me and lures me into whom I have become.

风飞快地从我耳边吹过，我感到头盔的边缘在轻微地颤动。在模仿一系列葡萄藤滑 冰技术的时候，我摔倒了，脸砰的一声撞在了地上。好多年过去了，但我还是清楚地记 得扭到脊柱时刺痛的感觉，还记得流进嘴里的血还是热的，还记得在我盲目地跑向公园 洗手间的时候，在路上留下的一串红血点。直到照镜子的时候我才发现我正在流泪。镜 子里的我，半面脸都被泪水和血水的混合物覆盖。伴随着剧烈的疼痛，我的舌头突然感 觉到一个尖尖的异物：牙掉了。

在回家的路上，脸上的污水被夏天的微风慢慢吹干了。满脑子想的是妈妈看了之后 会有什么样的反应，“她会不会再也不让我去滑冰？如果八月份的比赛我不能参加，那怎 么办？”当我走到我们公寓楼前时，我的大脑飞快地思考着。当妈妈开门的时候，伴随 着一声清脆的开门声，她拿的抹刀从手中跌到了地上。我通过半睁的眼睛看到我再熟悉 不过的伤心表情，她有些许的气愤。那天晚上，第一次，我们三人挤在一个床上，父母 给了我温暖。爸爸不停地讲有关马戏团的故事，妈妈则轻而易举地回答了他的那些问题。 我也似乎忘了今晚的那些事，但是，我感觉到的爱使我的伤痛恢复得很快。

像其他为孩子寻找更好的未来而移民到新的国家的数百万个家庭一样，我的家人为 了我而移民到加拿大。对我来说，他们对我的爱是个动力。但是，见怪不怪的文化差异 影响到我童年的每一个方面。我的双手用叉刀比用筷子还方便。不知是否合理，我所渴

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望的自由生活跟他们的文化传统很冲突。有的时候，还给我留下的是迷惑和不解。

对于我的每位家人来说，不管我长得多么高，他们永远会把我看成无忧无虑的小孩 子。但是，一切从那天起发生了变化。那是一个星期三，我跟合唱队的同学说道别后， 为了早点跟妈妈见面，我急忙冲向公交车站。在车上，我看到有几个辅导班里的学生向 我挥手，我立刻从人群中挤了过去。让人惊讶的是，当我走到他们身边的时候，他们同 时起身给我让座了。在其他人微笑着看我的时候，有一位学生拿了我的包，另一个学生 推着我坐上了他们的皮革座位上。在他们给我讲述最近的活动信息的时候，我看着他们 随着车动的节奏而摇动的身子，渐渐进入了回忆中。我记得他们刚进入这个学校，在第 一次教他们什么是规划者时，脸上出现那迷惑的表情的他们。我还记得，流着眼泪承认 自己的错误并请求帮助时候的他们。

哇，这不就是那位害怕做新生入学演讲的女孩子，她现在正在自信地介绍她所有的 朋友。是不是年度跳选赛前问我他是否会失利的男孩子呢，他现在正跟高年级的曲棍球 队员们一起笑着呢。看着他们像高中生一样坐在那里，我特别高兴。下车以后，我跟母 亲一起走着，她拍了拍我的肩膀说：“我看你快成了大人物了”，虽然，不太懂那是什么 意思，她的那句话让我高兴了一整天。

也许我确实有自己的成长理论，因为我觉得内心总有一种未知的冲动。我无法辨识 那到底是什么，每当在滑冰课上闻到一股滑道的味道时，它就像一只关在笼中的喜鹊一 样挣扎着想飞出来。每次听到冰鞋跟地面碰撞的独特声音时，感觉他就像个蝴蝶王一样 在我肚子里寻找出路。当我听到我身后的母亲嘱咐我小心的时候，它们就像个妖怪一样 出来。但我不能不顺从。这种冲动感塑造我、促使我变成现在的样子。

文章 61

Prompt: We're interested in the kind of positive risk-taking energy you would bring to our University. Please describe a time when you found the courage to step outside of your comfort zone to do something unexpected and completely unlike you. Why did you take this risk? What have you learned from the experience?

"Michel," Mrs. Root announced after drawing my name from a hat...

My mind went blank. Suddenly, I saw myself through the dim lights of our auditorium. I stood on the stage, suffocated in its lighting. I could feel the pressure of their stares. The entire school was gazing at me with empty faces. Mr. Irvine, the principle, stood at the center of the stage. He was saying something, but I couldn't focus. It all came out in silence until he looked over to me and extended his arm.

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"Now I will be handing the microphone over to Michel. He will be introducing the homecoming court candidates as well as filling you in on their activities, interests, and school life."

I took a step forward, approaching Mr. Irvine with uncertainty. He met my step with a quiet nod, motioning me to advance. I continued forward as the heel of my shoe broke the silence, hitting heavily on the hardwood floor.

Mr. Irvine grabbed my shoulder. "Go get 'em tiger," he whispered with a pat on my back. He handed me the microphone and walked into the darkness, leaving me lost in the ocean of their eyes.

I looked down at my feet, then up at the crowd and smiled...

"Michel!" Mrs. Root exclaimed. "Do you want to speak at the homecoming assembly?"

My thoughts jumped back to the present. I was standing in lecture hall A, the meeting place of student government officers. Everyone was staring at me, waiting for a response.

"Well, of course!" I replied.

Throughout all of elementary and middle school I was known as the "quiet kid," the "shy one," or "the statue." Although I had progressively worked on my public speaking throughout high school, and have considerably "come out of my shell," to abuse a cliché, there was still a degree of uncertainty in my public speaking. Ultimately, I desired a test of speaking in front of a large audience. The class room discussions and debates simply were not enough. When Mrs. Root, the student government adviser, asked if I wanted to speak in front of the entire school, the opportunity for my test had arrived. I accepted the offer with a smile.

The happenings of the assembly were nothing out of the ordinary for everyone else. Like every past year, a male senior introduced the candidates for the homecoming queen, and gave a little bit of background information on each one. However, for me, this assembly proved to me that I could speak smoothly to any number of people with confidence and composure. I no longer feel apprehensive at the thought of public speaking, nor do I dwell at the back of the classroom unresponsive. After a long day of receiving praise and compliments, I had proven that I could approach a weakness, something outside of my comfort zone, and make it a success.

“米歇尔，”鲁特女士在帽子里拿出我的名条后叫了我的名字。

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当时我的脑中一片空白。透过礼堂灰暗的光线，突然间我看到了那一刻站在舞台上 的自己，并且在这光线中有了窒息的感觉。我能感到台下人们那种目光给我带来的压力。 整个学校的成员此刻都面无表情地盯着我。我们的校长欧文站在舞台的中央说了些什么， 但是我一句也没有听去。直到他向我看过来并向我张开手臂时，我周围所有的一切都还 是寂静无声的。

“现在，我会把麦克风交给米歇尔。他会介绍返校名人的候选人，同时也会让你们 了解这些候选人参加过的活动、个人兴趣以及校园生活方面的信息。”

我犹豫地向前迈了一步，靠近了欧文先生。看到我向他走来，他也朝我点点头，让 我继续向前走。我接着往前走了几步，我的鞋跟与硬木地板之间撞击的声音打破了整个 会场的平静。

欧文先生抓住了我的肩膀，并在我的后背拍了拍对我轻声说：“上吧，年轻人，加油！” 他递给我麦克风，然后转身退出了光亮之外。只留下我一个人去面对台下的无数双眼睛。

我先低头盯着自己的脚看了一会，然后面带微笑地抬起头看着观众……

“米歇尔，”鲁特女士激动地大声喊道，“你要面向台下返校节的与会者说话！”

经过这一喊，我的思绪回到了现在。此刻我正站在一个 A 讲堂中。这里是学生管理 会的官员们开会的地方，而台下每个人此刻都在盯着我，并在等待我的讲话。

“嗯，当然，”我开始说道。

无论是小学还是中学，我都被认定为是一个害羞并且安静得像“雕像”一样的孩子。 尽管整个高中期间，我都在不断锻炼着面对公众的讲话的能力，很明显已经不再害羞， 而且在批评别人的陈词滥调时，我也会变得不再沉默，但对自己的这种能力我还是有疑 问。归根结底，只是在教室里的讨论和争辩显然是不够的，我还是渴望有一次能在更多 人面前检验自己这种能力的机会。所以当学生管理会的顾问鲁特女士问我是否愿意面对 全校的学生进行发言时，我一直期待的机会终于出现了。所以我欣然接受了这个邀请。

并不是所有人都有像我这样的机会在集会上发言的。记得每一年，都会有一个高三 年级的男同学来介绍返校王后的候选人，并介绍些她们每个人的背景资料。然而对于我 来说，这个机会能证明自己无论在多少人的面前可以镇静自信地流利发言。我不再因为 要在众人面前演说而感到担忧，也不再默默地躲在教室的后面不敢表现。这一天我得到 太多的赞扬和赞美，它证明了我可以克服自己忧虑的缺点并取得最终的成功。

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"BOOM!" 500 tons of water rained down onto the stage as 50,000 coloured balloons

156 第 3 部分 申请文实例 rose up into the sky…the performance was then topped by 500 shots of fireworks, during which the crowd went wild and the concert reached its climax. I have watched this particular Arashi concert for countless times, and yet my overwhelming cheers and enthusiastic thumping of feet always result in repeated complaints from my mother- "Why are you watching the same thing over and over? Don’t you get tired of it?" to which, however, I never bothered to answer. Arashi seemed to have slipped into my brain cells and become the building blocks of my DNA.

Since there was a time difference between Canada and Japan, I set my alarm the night before so that I could wake up on time to catch News Zero, which featured Sho Sakurai—a member of Arashi—as one of its main newscasters. By watching this news program, I became to know a myriad of updated world news, and how young people, whom Sakurai specifically interviewed, saw the changing world today. When Arashi starred in the 24-hour Television on Nihon TV station last year, I managed not to miss one second of this 24-hour long program with just a cup of Cola and chips in my hands, accompanied by mother’s complaint-"Are you crazy, spending a whole day without eating?" It was really difficult for her to understand my behaviour. When the show ended, I did not feel any fatigue but only joy. Now I realized that only one immersing himself into one thing could feel the pleasure in it.

Taro Yamada, played by the Arashi member Kazunari Ninomiya in the drama "Yamada Taro Monogatari", was born into an extremely poor family with six younger siblings and an ill mother to take care of. He had to work more at night to earn more money for the family’s survival, and yet he never fell behind at school and managed to keep his studies up to be the top student in his grade. At the same age as me, Taro undertook much more responsibilities for the family far beyond what one at this age should. "I…want to eat korokke (Japanese version of the French croquette)!" Taro answered his younger sister’s birthday request by competing with groups of housewives just for the award-one box of korokke the next day. I was deeply moved by Taro’s positive attitude towards life and unrivalled responsibility for his family.

I watched many dramas starring Arashi members, but dramas seemed not enough to quench my thirst; I applied for a discount book card at a local Japanese bookstore immediately and got my hands on the original novels on which some Arashi dramas were based, because a novel would convey a deeper perspective into the story. I carried the novels with me so that I could read as soon as I got spare time. I also like to write comments or sequels in Japanese on the novels and take down short stories from the novels in my journal, which has already reached over 800 pages! I often read on

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bus. Sometimes I was so absorbed in the fascinating story when I realized that I missed my stop again.

"Do you think I’m transparent now?" "Why are you adding sugar on top of sugar?" "Can I get the baseball bat to break open this egg?" Whether in making "grand" dishes or performing "stupid" experiments, Arashi never fails to amuse me with their unique senses of humour and awesome wacky ideas. Their successes are marvellous, but their failures are even more magnificent. Sakura starting to blossom in autumn; butterflies fluttering aimlessly in gravity-free environment; Arashi members rowing paper-made boats; Masaki Aiba—another member of the group—sticking mirrors onto himself to try and appear transparent; Arashi members feasting on ostrich eggs…it is difficult to predict the results of the various experiments, but for me, it is more challenging to keep a straight face while watching it.

"I never thought during debut that we would be able to hold a concert here in ten years," Satoshi Ohno—the leader of Arashi—announced with grateful tears to the 70,000 fans at their tenth anniversary concert at Tokyo National Stadium. "In a blink of an eye…ten years have passed." It was through their shared efforts and common love for music that Arashi was able to breakthrough as one of the most popular groups currently in Japan. As English writer Walter Landor states, "We talk on principle, but we act on interest." With this quote in mind, I stepped boldly into a to-be-familiar classroom, its whiteboard with the words "UBC JAPN 250" printed neatly upon.

“嘣”一声巨响，5 万个不同颜色的气球升上天空，随后 500 吨水落到了舞台上。 表演在 500 个礼花的燃放中结束了，那一刻人们彻底疯狂了，整台演唱会也达到了高潮。 岚乐团的演唱会我已经看过好多次了。每次看的时候，我的大声欢叫和剧烈跺脚声都会 引起妈妈的抱怨。“为什么你总是一遍一遍地看同一样东西？你难道不烦么？”对于这个 问题的回答是，我从未厌烦过，因为岚这个乐团已经深入我的脑海，成为我 DNA 的组成 元素了。

日本和加拿大有时差，所以在前一天晚上我就把自己的闹钟设定好，这样我就可以 准时起来看零点新闻。这个节目的主要主持人之一就是岚乐团成员之一的樱井翔。通过 这个节目我不但可以了解大量最新的世界新闻，还可以了解这些被樱井翔采访的年轻人 是如何看待今天这个正在快速发展的世界。去年，岚乐团参加了日本电视台的“24 小时 电视新闻”节目，为了看这个节目，24 个小时里我手里拿着可乐和薯片，眼睛没有一秒 钟离开电视屏幕。耳边是妈妈的抱怨声，“看了一晚上都不吃东西，你疯了么？”我的行 为在她看来很难理解。当节目结束时，我很开心而且毫无倦意。这件事使我现在意识到 一个人只有全身心投入到一件事时才能感受其中的快乐。

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在《山田太郎物语》这部电视剧中，岚乐团成员之一的二宫和也参演了山田太郎这 一角色。故事发生在有六个弟弟妹妹和一个患病需要照顾的妈妈的贫穷家庭。为了养活 这个家庭，他需要找份夜工来多赚些钱。然而他的学业并没有因此荒废，学习成绩在年 级名列前茅。山田太郎与我同龄，但他承担了超越他的年龄所应背负的家庭责任。“我想 吃可乐饼(日版的法式炸肉饼)，”太郎的小妹妹对他说出了想要的生日礼物。为了实现妹 妹这个愿望，第二天，山田与一群家庭主妇进行了比赛来赢得一盒可乐饼。太郎积极的 生活态度和对家庭的无与伦比的责任感深深地感动了我。

我看许多有岚参演的电视剧，但只是看电视剧无法满足我，我在日本当地一家书店 申请了购书打折卡，购买一些电视剧的原著小说。这些小说可以传达更深层的意义的故 事。我随时随地都带着这些小说，这样我就能在空闲时立即开始阅读。我也喜欢用日语 在小说里写下评论或是续写上一段，然后再把简短的故事写进我已经写了八百多页的日 记里。我经常在公交车上阅读，结果有时由于太过沉浸在引人入胜的故事里，当反应过 来的时候我已经坐过站了。

“你是否觉得我现在是透明的呢？”“为什么你要在糖上再加糖？”“我能不能用棒 球棒敲破这个鸡蛋？”无论是做“丰盛”的菜肴还是进行“愚蠢”的实验，岚独特的幽 默感和古怪的想法总是让我笑声不断。对于取得了非凡的成功的他们，失败也同样是很 光彩的。樱花在秋天盛开，蝴蝶毫无目的地在四周轻盈地飞舞，岚的成员们在纸做成的 船上划着桨。成员之一的相叶雅纪在身上贴满镜子想要变得全身透明，所有岚的成员一 起大口吃着鸵鸟蛋……对于这些疯狂的实验性的举动，结果是很难预料的。但对于我来 说，当看到这些的时候，我都狂笑不止。

在东京国家体育馆举行的建团 10 周年的演唱会上，面对着 7 万名粉丝，岚的队长 大野智流满感激的眼泪说：“我在出道的时候，从未想过 10 年后我们会在这里开演唱会。” “一转眼已经过了 10 年。”就是因为共同的努力和对音乐的热爱，使得岚乐团在目前日 本众多乐团之中脱颖而出。英国作家沃特兰德说过，“我们按原则说话，却是按兴趣办 事。”这句话此刻印入我的脑海，在这句话的激励下，我大胆地走进了这个白板上工整 地印着“UBC JAPN 250”这些英文字母并且即将要被我熟悉起来的教室。

文章 63

"Come on, Ary! Your turn. Go with John!" Too excited to wait until Master Steve calling me, I had already put my gloves and mouth guard on and was rushing towards the ring. "Go! Bruce Lee," one of my classmates yelled at me, and I was even more fired by that nickname they gave to me. After the timer beeped, John and I started to fight. We were both light in weight and fast in speed. In fact, John was the one I had been longing to fight with. Although Master Steve instructed us to focus on the tactical

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cooperation, I was being manipulated by an mysterious force, thinking I was left no choice but to tackle him down.

As soon as the sparring began, I threw all the instructions told by Master behind my mind; I used over ninety percent of my power while I should use only seventy percent. After my combination of a punch, a leading hook and a spinning back kick, John fell onto the floor. Apparently, I beat him. Giving a triumphal look to my stunned classmates sitting on the bench, I kept skipping with my guard on. If John stood up again, I would definitely continue this fighting. However, Sensei Steve came forward to us, and terminated the sparing even though there was still some time remaining. He gave a hand to lift John up, and let us to bow to each other as a martial arts routine.

Indulging in my fellowmen’s cheering, I heard Master Steve called my name. He asked me if I would like to do some extra practice on ground fighting with him. This rarely happened. Why would Master Steve want to train me privately? He must be impressed by my performance today. I told myself that I must seize this golden opportunity to demonstrate my strength. Regardless of the fact that this opponent of me was literally twice my weight, I tried to be as aggressive as I could to cause his trepidation; I roared wildly to him like a frantic beast when I was defending my advantageous guarding position.

It didn't even take ten seconds to make me feel regretful for what I had done. In my guarding position, he scrawled backwards while kept pressing my left thigh with his left elbow, one of the hardest part of the body, forcing my thigh slide off his back. Once I could no longer lock my feet on his back because of his elbow pressure on my thigh, he unexpectedly flipped his entire body around. Now I was in his guarding position with two mighty legs squeezing my ribs, as well as his both forearms locking at the back of my neck. No air can access my lungs at that moment and my neck felt like dislocated. Any struggling seemed only to be labour lost, nor could I utter any word begging for mercy. Fortunately, he stopped squeezing just before I was out of breath and walked away with a purposeful smile on his face, leaving me alone lying on the mats and choking.

I was certain that he was trying to convey a lesson beyond words. The spot I now sat at was where John fell on a few minutes ago, and I had been as uncompetitive as John in front of Master Steve. However, John and I had been taken over by two distinct ways, force and dexterity respectively. Oblivious to my burgeoning arrogance and ostentation then, I am now more than grateful that Sensei Steve’s neck-breaking forearms woke

160 第 3 部分 申请文实例 me up, reminding me that I was merely at the foot of the mountain in which the aloft peak was still far away. He didn’t choke me; instead, he dragged me out of the water right before I became drowned in my sprouting insolence.

Being Master Steve’s student for two years, I learned not simply kickboxing, but also other life principles derived from martial arts that essentially changed my life. Now, I temporarily quit kickboxing training with him, because I have established a Martial Arts Club in my school. As the president and coach, I push my students hard in training as Master Steve did on me and convey many of his life principals to my peers: the key to learning is humbleness while the key to victory is not only physical strength, but more importantly, the mental strength.

“来吧，艾里！该你了。跟约翰来一场!”还没等到史蒂夫老师叫我，我已经迫不及 待地带上了手套和护牙套冲向了拳击场地。“上啊! 李小龙，”我的一个同学对我叫喊着， 听到他给我起的这个绰号，我的激情燃烧得更加猛烈起来。比赛开始的铃声一响，约翰 和我开始了比赛。我们都属于那种体重较轻但速度很快的选手。实际上我一直期望与约 翰来一场比赛。尽管史蒂夫老师一再叮嘱我们要把注意力放在战术合作上，我却摆脱不 了一股神秘的力量的控制，这种力量让我别无选择，一心只想把他击倒。

比赛刚一开始，教练的所有叮嘱全被我甩到了脑后；本来只应用到七成力量的地方， 我使了超过九成的劲。在一记猛击、一记上勾拳和一记回转踢的进攻组合之下，约翰被 打倒在台上。很显然我战胜了他。我朝呆坐在一旁的同学做了一个胜利的表情，没有卸 下自己的护具仍然做着跳步。如果约翰再站起来的话，我肯定会继续打这场比赛。然而 史蒂夫老师来到我们跟前，中止了这场拳击比赛，尽管距离正式结束还有一些时间。他 帮忙把约翰拉了起并让我们按照武术的礼仪规矩互相鞠了个躬。

我正沉浸在伙伴的欢呼声中，突然听到史蒂夫老师叫了我的名字。他问我是否愿意 在与他进行些额外的拳击练习。这种情况很反常，为什么史蒂夫老师想要私下训练我？ 他一定是对我今天的表现很满意。我对自己说，一定要抓住这个难得的机会来展示我的 实力。尽管这个对手足足有我的两倍重，我仍尽最大的努力来表现我的斗志，试图使他 畏惧；当守卫着有利的防守位置时，我像个发狂的野兽一样向他怒吼着。

还没到 10 秒钟，我就开始为我所做的一切感到后悔。当我防守时，他慢慢地向后 闪，同时用他身体上最硬的部位之一左胳膊肘来压我的左侧大腿，并且迫使我的大腿滑 离他的后背。一度由于他的肘压在我的大腿上，我无法用脚夹住他的后背。出乎意料的 是他把整个身体扭转了一圈，结果使我的防守姿势变掉了，我的两条强有力的腿顶到了 我的肋骨上，而且他的两个前肘同时锁住了我的后颈。那时我无法呼吸而我的脖子也仿 佛脱臼了一样。任何的抵抗似乎都是徒劳的，并且我也无法发出求饶的声音。幸运的是， 他在我窒息之前松开了我，带着颇有意味的笑容离开了，只留下我一人躺在垫子上，不

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停地咳嗽。

我非常确定，他是想用非言传的方式给我上一课。我此时坐着的地方就是几分钟前 约翰被击倒的地方，当我面对史蒂夫老师的时候就像约翰面对我一样毫无取胜的能力。 然而我和约翰却输在不同的原因上，它们分别是灵巧性和力量。史蒂夫老师锁颈的前臂 显然使我从击败约翰时膨胀的傲慢和炫耀中清醒起来，对此我很是感激。因为我意识到， 我才刚刚抵达山脚下，离顶峰还有太远的距离。他没有扼住我的呼吸，相反，把将要溺 死在不断增长的傲慢里的我拖了出来。

我在史蒂夫老师的指导下学习了两年，在这期间我不单是学到了跆拳道，而且还学 到了武术所阐释的人生哲理，这些哲理彻底地改变了我的生活。现在，我临时放弃了跆 拳道学习，因为我在自己的学校建立了一个武术俱乐部。作为会长和教练，我像史蒂夫 老师对我一样对学生训练严格要求，并且把他的许多人生哲理传播给了我的这些同龄人。 学习的关键因素是要谦逊，而成功的关键因素不只是体力上的较量，更重要的是要看思 想的力量。

文章 64

I had never been a fan of the unfathomable expanses of the ocean waters--especially when the setting sun casts a shade of hazy mystique over the breadth of the sea. As I perched on the sandy shores adjacent my home, I would gaze into the endless misty horizon and wonder without end as to what could lie beneath the blanket of blue hues. When my father suggested scuba diving on our vacation to Bermuda (some specific time ago) I had never been more anxious. "Dad, you go first, I can’t," I mumbled to my father on the edge of the drop boat, "Don’t be silly D, there’s a whole other world down there," he replied with fatherly resolution.

As I prepared to jump down, I felt a cold chill run through my bones and my stomach plunging to my feet. At only ten I had most of the irrational fears of a child: ghosts, snakes, dentists; but the biggest, and likewise most irrational, was that of the unknown. A million different scenarios shot instantaneously through my mind. I imagined the army of scales and fins and tentacles waiting for me beneath the surface, the mythological sea monsters preparing to snatch me up, and the rapid currents straining to drag me to the ocean floor.

After I took one last centering breath, I leapt; in that leap there was deliverance and salvation. Weightless, I slowly bared my eyes to the cerulean water, and a flood of species revealed themselves to me: orange sponges, fiery red corals, a mosaic of iridescent scales. Never before had I seen such a myriad of beauty, untainted by man

162 第 3 部分 申请文实例 and technology. As I ascended back up, I wondered why I had been so intimidated by the once mysterious sea. Beneath that murky surface lay a world of treasures, of undiscovered beauties, of limitless possibilities. I burst back through the surface and gazed back at my father. There, I only found a knowing, wordless smile celebrating the pure joy of a shared epiphany.

I was once afraid of what I was unable to see, of what I couldn’t control, of the unknown. In that fateful first dive though, I found emancipation from my fears and the impediments of my own mind. Today, my courage extends beyond the sea. No longer am I fearful of life's unknowns; no longer am I afraid to jump in.

我向来不喜欢那无边无际的海洋——尤其是当落日在宽阔的海面上洒下一道模糊而 神秘的余晖的一刻。在我家附近的海滩上小憩时，我会凝望着雾气蒙蒙的水平线，遐 想着在那一片犹如毯子般的蓝色下面会盖着什么东西。当爸爸建议(就在前不久)去百慕 大潜水度假时，我相当焦虑。我坐在船边对他咕哝着：“爸爸你自己去吧，我不想去。” 但他以父亲应有的决意回答我说：“别傻了，丹，在那下面你可以看到另外一个广阔的 世界。”

当我准备跳下水时，我感到一阵寒意跑进了我的骨头和肚子，最后窜到我的脚上。 作为一个 10 岁大的孩子，我很害怕那些非理性的东西像鬼魂、蛇和牙医，但是最害怕 的还是未知的东西。此时此刻上百万个不同的场景立即冲进了我的脑海，我想象着那些 水面下等着我的那群带着鳞、鳍和触角的大军，准备抓我的神秘海底怪兽以及想把我拖 到海底的暗流。

最后一次调整呼吸后，我跳了下去。在下沉的过程中，我有一种解脱和救赎的感觉。 在失重的状态下，我慢慢地张开眼睛来端详这蔚蓝的大海。一群不同种类混合的生物突 然出现在我的眼前：橘黄色的海绵、火红的珊瑚和一幅色彩斑斓的贝壳组成的图画。在 这之前，我从未见过如此繁多并且没被人类和他们的科技所玷污的美景。当上浮时，我 很奇怪曾经自己为什么会那么害怕这片神秘的大海。在昏暗的水面下是这样一个奇妙的 世界，那里充满财富，到处是未被发现过的美景，这里有着无限的可能。在浮出水面后， 我回头凝视着我的爸爸，在他的脸上我看到了熟悉的微笑，那种感觉无法用语言来形容， 仿佛是在庆祝我们分享共同领悟时的快乐。

我曾经很害怕自己无法看到、无法控制和自己未见过的东西。在那次潜水挑战之后， 我从自己的恐惧和思想上的阻碍中解放出来了。现在我的勇气不断增加，超越了当时面 对大海的那一刻。我不再害怕生活中未知的东西，也不再害怕去尝试了。

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八、思考与分析

文章 65

Prompt: Briefly discuss a current global issue, indicating why you consider it important and what you suggest should be done to deal with it.

Inside my cabinet is the magic pill: my Z-pack. Just pop six pills over five days and I am back from the brink of death and once again normal, rushing around to make up for lost time. Zithromicin is a powerful prescription antibiotic that is a staple of my family's medicine cabinet, whatever the time of year. So when I got the shakes and fever in the winter of my junior year, to find out there were no Z-packs in the cabinet, I was bewildered. My father sat me down and bottom-lined it for me: Z packs cost $30 dollars with our insurance, but over $100 dollars without, and we could not afford them at the moment.

That conversation was a wake up call for me: if my upper middle class family could not afford some medicines, how on Earth do others fare? My second thought was: how can I help fix this? To me, being healthy is one of the most important aspects of a person's life and to be denied the same opportunities to be healthy is a massive inequality that should be corrected. In the world, some families live on dollars a day, in regions rife with diseases most of us in America consider extinct. Children growing up in developing or non-industrialized countries are exposed to a much wider variety of dangers and illnesses, with less availability to medicines even if they could afford them. Every something minutes, kids my own age are currently dying of HIV, TB, and malaria today simply because the medicines that could save their lives are too expensive, a horrifying reality that makes me want to save the world as if I were a superhero.

Why is medicine so expensive? One reason is that in 2000, a law went into effect extending the patents of prescription medicines to ten years. No other company was allowed to make, market, or sell cheaper, generic versions of the medicine for an entire decade. Companies have been fined and people have been arrested for violating these patents when they shipped generic HIV medicine to developing countries that could not afford the real medicine.

While I support patents and the right to own your work, ten years is much too long of a time to wait before the people who need the medicine can access it. If it were in my power I would reduce the patents to six years, and allow other companies to test and

164 第 3 部分 申请文实例 create cheaper drugs after two, but only selling when the patent expires. Any family earning below a standardized poverty line would be given a price that they would be able to afford as well as a way to access the medicine when needed.

Of course, providing medicine to over one billion people, the number of people who currently have no access to even basic medicines, cannot possibly be as simple as that. In order for us to alleviate the worldwide suffering we need people from all countries and all fields to take action. We need scientists to create the medicines that could save these lives, policy makers to create ways that will allow for fair distribution, people to administer the medicine, and watchdogs over all parts of the system to make sure it runs smoothly. To alleviate suffering in this world, we need cooperative, coordinative effort to occur, and you can count on me to be in the middle of it all when the time comes. I may not be a superhero for doing it, but I will be happy to help in any way I can.

我的柜子里放着我的魔法药片——阿奇霉素。 过去的五天里仅仅吃了 6 片，我便 从死亡的边缘再次回到正常的生活里，并且开始忙忙碌碌地去弥补失去的时间。阿齐霉 素片是一种非常有效的处方抗生素，因而无论一年中的任何时候它都是我们家药箱里的 必备之物。我大三那年的冬天有一次感冒发烧，当发现家里药箱里没有阿奇霉素片时， 我开始不知所措。父亲让我坐下来，给我算了一笔账：买阿奇霉素要花费我们 30 美元 的保险金，再加上保险金外的 100 美元，所以这个价格对于那时的我们太贵了。

这次谈话给我敲响了一个警钟：如果像我们这样来自中高产阶级的家庭都买不起这 种药的话，那其他人究竟如何来承担呢？再一想：我怎样才能帮忙解决这个问题呢？对 我来说，健康是一个人生活中最重要的方面之一，无法得到同样的救治机会对于人们将 是一个极大的不平等而且这种情况必须要改变。这个世界上的一些地方，蔓延着各种我 们大部分美洲人认为已经绝迹的疾病，而有些家庭一天仅靠几美元为生。在发展中或非 工业化国家长大的孩子们更容易受到更多的危险和疾病的困扰，即使有足够的钱可以买 得起药，可药物依然匮乏。大概每一分钟，都有与我同龄的孩子们正死于艾滋病、结核 和瘴气，只是因为救命药太贵买不起而无法得救。 如此残酷的现实让我萌生了一个念头， 假如自己是超级英雄的话，我就去拯救世界。

为什么药会那么昂贵呢？其中一个原因是，在 2000 年的时候，一条延长处方药专 利年限到 10 年的法令开始生效。在整个十年中，其他任何公司不得制造、营销、低价 销售或仿制相关药品。如果违反专利法，运输治疗艾滋病药品的到买不起真药的发展中 国家的公司，均要被罚款，相关人员均被拘捕。

虽然支持专利法和保护自己成果的权利，但是让人们等待 10 年才能获得他们需要 的这些药品，时间未免太久。 如果我有权力的话，我将减少专利权到 6 年并在 2 年后

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允许其他公司测试并开发更便宜的药品，但是直到专利期期满，方可销售。为了使标准 贫困线下的每个家庭在需要的时候能得到这些药，允许他们以实际可承担的价格和方式 来购买。

当然，向当前 10 亿多就连基本药品也无法获得的人口提供相关药品确实不是如此 简单。 为了减轻世界范围内的苦难，我们需要来自各个国家和地区的人们行动起来；需 要科学家来创造救命药；需要政策制定者创建公平分配的方法；需要人们来管理这些药 品；需要检查员确保系统各个部分平稳运行。为了减轻世界范围内的痛苦，我们需要团 结协作、众志成城，请相信我，在那一刻到来时，你会发现我会在这些人当中。也许这 样算不上一个超级英雄，但不管任何方式，我都很乐意贡献自己的力量。

文章 66

A Tree or a Cloud?

The sky turns dark, and you know it will rain; comes 5pm, the roads get noisy, packed, like puzzles piecing up – not to a beautiful picture, but stressful, crowded, disorganized cars and angry people; your boss throws you piles of folders and paperwork, then you realized its near the holiday season, and you are bound to your desk; your girlfriend says – we need to talk – and you know, something bad is around the corner. Everything in life, is written out, like a story so familiar we all could guess the ending halfway through it. Still unpredictable?

Nonsense, utter nonsense! Why then do some people say life is beautiful, breathtaking, surreal – you questioned!

My friend, the world, at large, is too enigmatic for a short, simple, sweet answer to your question.

But, if you insist:

You see, people, more often than not, are sedentary beings. Motionless, desk-bound, settled for what is within hands-reach. We take a step forward, pause, hesitate, worry about the next day, our next word, our next dollar, our next failure; and eventually, we lament on our coward devouring for the same old riches, that stoops down below our feet: sons, inheriting the riches of their fathers; children, trapped in the same cycle of life – school, college, work, marriage, family, retirement. You say life is unpredictable, I say life is pre-determined.

My friend, we are all born with a faint delineation of our destiny, believe it or not – one

166 第 3 部分 申请文实例 set by our fathers, shaped by our societies, and one we all had long foreseen, knowingly or unknowingly. Our lives, as beautiful as it may be, will always be predictable, determined and unthrilling – if we live in the same predicament set by others.

Funny, why are you so cynical, pessimistic – you quipped!

You see, life blankets us with an odd assurance; like a newborn expecting for warmth and attention from the surrounding – sometimes joyful giggles, other times cries, and some other times desperations: to reach out for a world, lived in, but not understood or well communicated, at least not yet. And so are we, when it comes to understanding our world – at times, we find joy from it, then sadness, and more surprises, but we never could understand the mystical influences that govern the pattern of events! It is amidst these inabilities to understand our life, that we choose to leave the inscrutable only as thoughts and questions we all bewilder at; passive, subservient to the works of the world.

And the unpredictability of life is thus silenced by our passiveness towards life – that sometimes, we choose to live in the same manner we know we already will: cowardly predictable, and unquestioning.

What is it then that makes life unpredictable – you asked.

"Life," as William Blake poetically puts it, "paints a tree and a cloud above it"; that the tree, graceful as it is, devours only the riches of the Earth bestowed within its reaches, and falters at the same ground where its seed first birthed. The cloud above it, however less lush nor graceful, is fluid and roams the Earth – worriless, so fast-changing, that its riches abound in greater multitude, and in far places, you and I, would never know.

So my question to you, my friend: the cloud or the tree – you choose.

一棵树还是一片云？

天色渐渐暗了下来，你知道这是下雨的前兆。下午 5 点，马路上开始热闹起来并出现 交通堵塞，车辆像拼图块儿一样堆在一起。这不是一幅美丽的图画，你知道这里充满了拥 挤，充满压力，无序的车辆和愤怒的人群。你的老板扔给你成堆的文档和文件工作，你会 意识到，即使是假期快到了，你也离不开办公桌。你的女朋友说—— 我们需要谈谈——这 时你知道，有些不好的事情要发生了。生活中的每件事都像故事一样被写了下来，我

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们如此熟悉，以至于可以在中途就可以猜到结尾。你仍然觉得生活无法预测么？

废话，纯属废话! 如果生活真的可以预测，那生活为什么被人们形容成美丽、激动 人心、超现实的呢？你没有这个疑问么？

我的朋友，这个世界难以捉摸，在这个问题上如果想得到一个简短和美妙的答案 很难。

但是如果你坚持要得到答案的话，我可以像下面这样回答你：

你知道人们经常喜欢静止不动。比如说静坐在办公桌前，把所有东西都放在够得到 的地方。当前进一步后，我们也往往驻足，犹豫，担心接下来的一天、一句话、收入以 及失败。最终，我们向周围的人哭诉着并卑躬屈膝地乞求着财富。从父辈那里继承了财 富的孩子们也会陷入同样的生活轨迹：中学、大学、工作、婚姻、家庭、退休。你也许 会说生命不可预测，但我却会说命运是早就注定好的。

朋友，我们生来就有一些东西被注定好了，信不信由你——这是由父辈们和社会帮 你决定和塑造好的。无论是有意的还是无心的，我们都会对生活有一些预见。如果我们 美好的生活被别人设定好了的话，那么它永远是可以预知并且可以决定的，我们也不会 担惊受怕。

很好笑，那你为什么会这样的愤世嫉俗和悲观呢？你在嘲弄我们么？

你知道生命给予我们不可靠的保障。就像一个新生儿时刻期盼着从周围得到温暖和 关怀一样——他们有时快乐地咯咯笑，有时哭泣，有时悲观。通过这些方式他们急切地 想要得到这个世界，结果他们却无法顺畅沟通，不能被理解，至少目前为止是这样的情 况。其实同样的事情也发生在我们身上，当我们想要理解这个世界的时候——有时，我 们得到快乐，有时得到悲伤，而得到更多的是惊奇。但是我们从不能理解这些行为冥冥 之中的主宰者。我们只是因为无法理解就会选择把这些行为当成困惑的思想和问题，并 且因此屈从于困苦的生活。

由于我们的消极态度，生命的不可预见性变得沉默——有时我们在明知道结果的情 况下，也会选择相同的方式生存——懦弱的、可预见的以及毫无新意的。

如果是这样的话，到底是什么使得生活不可预见呢？你会这样问道。

“生命”就像威廉·布莱克说的那样“在自己身上画了一棵树和一片云”；树本身 虽然很幽雅，但它只是在不断挥霍着上天赐予的周围土地的养分，并且在这片它出生土 地上摇曳着。天上的云既不奢华也不优雅，它不断地流动，快速地变换着形状，无忧无 虑地徜徉在大地上空，而它的财富则无穷无尽地漂向你我永远不会到达的远方。

所以，我要问你的问题是：你会选择做那片云，还是那棵树呢？

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文章 67

Extended Essay for University of Chicago

Option 1: Find x

I was going at a speed of seven words per second. If converted to an equivalent kinematic value, this rate shall be very close to the speed of light! Of course I wasn’t composing my "Find x" essay at this astonishing speed, but instead was deleting my tedious explanation on how Pemberton fortuitously found his x and created Coca-Cola. "Why did you stupidly assume that x is the secret formula for coke?" I regretted.

Now back to the starting point, I reconsidered: the verb here is "find". Usually when we are instructed to find something, we are to locate an object whose appearance we are either previously aware of, or are given a description of. However, the object in this command is x, a letter commonly used in place of an unknown quantity. How could I find it if I had no idea what it is? In order to reconcile this contradiction, I journeyed to find out what x is in order to find it later on.

I went around frantically asking for others’ advice.

"Write about how you became a coloratura soprano. The mysterious way of singing can be your x." said my mom over the dinner table. During lessons, my teacher taught me the necessary techniques, but finding the correct mouth shape and diaphragm position to project my bel canto voice was a feat I had to accomplish myself. I still remember her saying, "it’s the sort of thing you can only sense but not express." After much effort, I did have a taste of success at finding the right voice. "You have to give this story credit," Mom added, "after all, your dad and I had to live with your horrible singing every day for the past two years."

"You can write about how you single-handedly solved the Case of the Stolen Key Chain," my best friend suggested, "J the Detective found the culprit who stole my key chain only by examining the dirt in his finger nails. The evidence can be your x!"

Upon hearing these contradicting advices, I saw before me many paths that could potentially lead to the x I’m trying to find. For the next few weeks, I tried to re-walk these paths and listed some of my discoveries, hoping that one of my findings from these experiences can be the x. So here goes. When looking for a new way to challenge myself academically, I found the I.B. program. After spending two hours solving a physics problem, I finally found that my attempt had been futile because I didn’t have

169 美国大学入学申请文章写作及例文欣赏

the value of the displacement x. When cooking dinner for my family one day, I found that sweet osmanthus was the secret ingredient that unlocked the flavor of the red bean congee. And many more…

Then I realized that I had underestimated this small letter x. While I was examining my experiences, x cried out to me that it refused to be restricted to one object alone, whether it is something as great as the I.B. program or as small as the dirt found in the culprit’s finger nails. In real life, x retains its mathematical properties – for every algebraic equation x can have a different value. x is everything aforementioned, everything unknown, and anything. My previous attempts at writing this essay had been fruitless because I was too afraid to recognize its volatility. But now, as this epiphany dawned upon me, I see its quality as a blessing. Either in singing or in cooking, I have always been finding out about the unknown x deliberately or accidentally, and it often turns out to be more knowledge or a surprise. Thus I have embraced every task in life with excitement and enthusiasm, subconsciously knowing that one facet of x is waiting to be found. Knowing that x is not only restricted to the past but also present and future, I will continue devote myself to this small letter in the future.

I am deeply grateful to those who have invented and enforced this thought-provoking topic, with which I had a thorough reflection on this negligible small letter. x, being everything either in the past, at present, or even in the future, is omnipresent throughout my life. Having found my x’s in the past, I will ever be looking forward to any type of "x" in the future, not only for its mystery and uncertainty, but also for the knowledge and surprise.

芝加哥大学附加文

第一命题：发现 x

我以每秒钟七个词的速度进行着。如果从运动学的观点描述这个速度，应当接近于 光速了。当然，我不是以这种速度写自己的“发现 x”文章，而是正在删除，删除自己 对潘伯顿是如何幸运地发现他的 x，并且创造出了可口可乐的长篇大论。我后悔了，在 心中说道：“为什么你傻到会认为 x 就是可口可乐的秘密配方？”

现在回到起点，我重新思考：这里的动词是“发现”。通常如果我们去发现什么东西， 要么我们提前知道这个东西的外貌，要么我们就知道这个东西到底是什么。但是，题目 中的宾语是“x”，一个被普遍用做代表未知数量的字母。如果不知道是什么，我怎么能 够发现它呢？为了解决命题中的矛盾，我开始着手弄清 x 是什么，以便以后发现它。

我开始四处征求别人的建议。

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“写你是如何成为花腔女高音的。这种神奇的演唱方式就是你的 x，”妈妈在饭桌上 对我说。在音乐课上，老师教授我必要的歌唱技巧，然而我发现，我必须自己体会掌握 美声唱法的正确口型和身姿。我还记得老师的话，“这种东西只可意会不可言传。”在大 量的努力后，我体会到了找准发音后成功的感觉。妈妈又说道：“你应该考虑写这件事情， 毕竟过去两年我和你爸每天都生活在你恐怖的歌声中。”

“你应该写你是如何单枪匹马侦破‘钥匙扣失窃案’的，”我最好的朋友建议道，“J 侦探仅通过检查他指甲内的泥就发现了偷我钥匙链的嫌疑犯。此案中的证据就是你的 x。”

听着这些矛盾的建议，我发现在自己面前有许多条路都很可能指向我正努力发现的 x。在接下来的几周时间里，我试着反复走在这些道路上，而且列出了我的一些发现，期 望这些经历中的发现里能有一项能够成为我的 x。从现在开始，我在找寻一种新方法在 学业上挑战自己，我发现了 IB 课程。(注：IB 是 International Baccalaureate 的缩写。 在 IB 体系中修读相同的教材后，学生统一考试，毕业文凭被广泛认可，著名学府给予毕 业生诸多入学优惠。)在花了两个小时解决一道物理题后，我最后发现自己的尝试是徒劳 的，因为我根本没有发现替代量 x 的值究竟是多少。一天再给家人做饭的时候，我发现， 原来桂花是让红豆粥香气扑鼻的秘密调料。还有很多很多……

然后我意识到，我以前低估了这个小小的字母 x。在我审视自己经历的时候，x 冲我 大喊，说 x 不会局限在单个事物上面，无论是大到 IB 课程还是小到查看嫌疑犯的指甲。 在实际生活中，x 具有它的数学属性——在所有的代数方程式中，x 均有不同的值。我过 于害怕而 x 可以是前面提到的所有的一切，所有的未知，以及一切的一切。我先前写的 文章不理想，是因为我过于害怕而没有意识到它多变的属性。但是现在，我恍然大悟。 无论是在学习唱歌的过程中还是在做饭的时候，我一直在有意或者无意地找出未知的 x， 它结果往往是更多的知识或者一个惊喜。所以，我看重生活中的每一个令人兴奋和激动 的任务，并且下意识地知道 x 的一个方面正等着我去发现。我明白，x 不仅仅局限在过 去，它还包括现在和将来。在将来，我将继续探索这一小小的字母。

我非常感谢那些想出这个题目和让这个引人深思的话题成为命题的人们。通过这个命 题，我对这个微不足道的小小字母有了深刻的认识。x 可以是任何事情，过去的、现在的 或者将来的。它普遍存在于我的生活里。我已经发现了过去的众多 x，并将随时期待将来 任何形式的 x，不只是因为它的神秘和不确定性，还为了它给我带来的知识和惊喜。

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