The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, May 10, 2019 — Page 1

Vol. CCLXII, No. 17 The New Hampshire Gazette Grab Me! May 10, 2019 The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com I’m Free!

The Fortnightly Rant Who’s the Biggest Loser Now? ike an optimistic child say- could be only one. ing “there’s got to be a pony in With two of the nation’s most Lhere somewhere,” we’ve concluded self-righteous zealots trading accu- that the events of the past fortnight sations of threats, fiscal shenanigans, contain the seeds of a theory which and general chicanery, “it’s hard to could revolutionize political science: say which is a reliable narrator,” said The American body politic is Betsy Woodruff of The Daily Beast, like the atmosphere in that both earning a Pulitzer nomination for can absorb far more of a toxic sub- elegant euphemism. stance, i.e., Fox News or CO2, than Befitting a man owning $200,000 anyone would ever have imagined, worth of Ermenegildo Zegna suits, and in both cases the strangeness LaPierre won the power struggle. of the consequences rises exponen- With North out of the way he can tially, rather than arithmetically—it turn his attention back to preserv- doesn’t just add up, it multiplies. ing such vital scams as the NRA’s This parallel may be too obvious endangered Carry Guard, a form of to bother mentioning, but we can’t insurance crafted to serve the needs help it. Entertaining crackpot ideas of law-abiding citizens who just is how we stave off the heebie-jee- happened to shoot somebody. bies which come from reading other Early in the fortnight it was re- newspapers. ported that in 2017 U.S. officials It’s been a hell of a fortnight. signed, on President Trump’s orders, Exactly two weeks ago President a bill from North Korea for $2 mil- Trump stood before the NRA’s na- lion to cover the cost of Otto Warm- tional convention and talked about bier’s medical expenses. President “corruption at the highest level” in Trump denied that the U.S. had paid tivists, now called the Embassy Pro- them going around. Well, not really, York Times having just reported on Washington, D.C. Strangely, he North Korea anything, and, on this, tection Collective (EPC), along with but there is a lot of talk about coups nine years worth of Trump financial was referring not to himself, but the we believe him. He is the anti-Lan- permission to remain until a perma- going around. Newt Gingrich and data, there is little reason to hope Mueller investigation. “They tried nister: a Trump never pays his bills. nent protectorate can be found.” Sean Hannity have been applying that the President’s mood or cog- for a coup,” he said. “Didn’t work out As April turned to May, it brief- Since the April 30th coup collapse the term to any Democratic mem- nitive ability will be improving any so well.” ly looked as if Trump might score a in Caracas, the EPC has been under ber of Congress trying to do his or time soon. Trump also announced he was coup—literally—in South America. siege by pro-Guaidó demonstrators. her job lately. Attorney General Barr As if to rub salt in the President’s pulling the U.S. out of the 2014 Venezuelan opposition leader Juan As press time approaches, the scene has apparently come down with the wounds, hundreds of former feder- Arms Trade Treaty, implying Guaidó, the beneficiary of early sup- is reminiscent of the riot outside the same brain worm. He’s taken to call- al prosecutors have signed a letter that it compromised citizens’ 2nd port from Trump, was expecting to Turkish Embassy in May of 2017— ing FBI investigative work “spying.” saying the Mueller report provided Amendment rights—which is utter take over as soon as a few top aides if the D.C. cops had helped beat A cavalier attitude towards the ample evidence of “multiple felony #$@&%$. to President Nicolás Maduro with- the protestors, instead of protecting truth, of course, comes naturally to charges for obstruction of justice.” Next morning came a revela- drew their support. They failed to do them. Gerry Condon, President of Trump administration members On Wednesday, Trump threw a tion: there had been a coup—in the so, and Maduro prevailed, at least for Veterans for Peace, attempted to de- and its hangers-on: the head man’s Hail Mary and claimed executive NRA. That was a pretty big deal, the time being—in Venezuela liver food to the embassy Wednes- own official tally for lies has now privilege for the Mueller report. considering that for decades the or- At about that time the coup at- day. The U.S. Secret Service arrested surpassed 10,000. The question at Now Attorney General Barr is run- ganization has effectively held veto tempt metastasized, from Caracas him, knocking him to the ground in this point seems to be, does he even ning the risk of being arrested by power over every Republican nomi- to Washington, D.C.—specifical- the process and bloodying his head. know anymore when he’s lying? the Sergeant at Arms of the U.S. nation to high political office. ly to the Venezuelan Embassy in That may seem a bit shocking, “President Trump’s latest position House—and that was before Don Behind the scenes, NRA Presi- Georgetown. Maduro had ordered but put it in context: according to on the Mueller report is that it both Jr. was subpoenaed by the Senate dent Oliver North, a former Marine the embassy to close in January, a recent report from the Center for totally exonerates him and is fatally Intelligence Committee, which is Lt. Col., and Wayne LaPierre, long- shortly after the Trump adminis- Economic and Policy Research, U.S. flawed at its very core—because it controlled by—gasp—Republicans! time NRA CEO, had been butting tration recognized Guaidó as the sanctions have caused the deaths of doesn’t totally exonerate him.” So There is no rest for the wicked, heads. Like “The Highlander,” but country’s President. The departing 40,000 Venezuelans since 2017. wrote the Washington Post’s Greg nor tranquility for the frazzled. with guns instead of swords, there diplomats “gave the keys to … ac- Speaking of coups, there’s a lot of Sargent on May 3rd. With the New

The Alleged News® Yet another warning that the world is ending … zzzzz UN panel composed of the if the scientists thought that we, the issued a “Special Report on Glob- Last month the President signed be faulted. As a newspaper, it’s our world’s leading environmental people, can’t handle the whole truth, al Warming of 1.5 °C.” Limiting executive orders making it “easier for duty to point it out: all five processes scientistsA met in Paris last week to the condescending bastards. warming to a 1.5 °C increase, it said, firms to build oil and gas pipelines driving us towards the planet’s sixth release the first major report on bio- The report’s headline-grabbing would be a bare minimum to avoid and harder for state agencies to in- Great Extinction can be subsumed diversity in 15 years. Why Paris in- bottom line was that the rate of spe- truly catastrophic consequences. tervene,” according to the Washing- under one heading: business as usual. stead of UN Headquarters? Perhaps cies extinction is accelerating, and That would require “human-caused ton Post. As if on cue, Secretary of The smart money is betting there they feared a certain former real es- about a million species are in danger emissions of carbon dioxide (CO2) State Mike Pompeo went to Finland are big profits to be had before most tate developer from Queens might of extinction in the next few decades. … to fall by about 45 percent from on Monday for the 11th Ministeri- of us choke to death on our own get wind of their activities and heap Roughly speaking—which seems 2010 levels by 2030, reaching ‘net al Meeting of the Arctic Council. toxic fumes as we give Elon Musk scorn upon them. appropriate in this context—that’s zero’ around 2050.” An official press release said he was and Jeff Bezos a well-deserved sin- The UN called its panel, with a about one-eighth of all the species Eric Holthaus, a meteorologist there to “reinforce the U.S. Commit- gle-digit farewell salute. characteristic lack of pizzazz, the thought to exist. who also reports on climate news ment to the Arctic.” That sounded We’d be happy to be proven Intergovernmental Science-Pol- The scientists attributed respon- for Grist, tweeted, “This report is a fine—until he opened his mouth. wrong, of course. After thirty years icy Platform on Biodiversity and sibility for this calamity to five pri- wake-up call: Never before in our “Steady reductions in sea ice are at the helm of The Nation’s Oldest Ecosystem Services (IPBES). Any mary causes: conversion or alteration planet’s history has a single species opening new passageways and new Newspaper™, we’re beginning to two-bit Frank Luntz impersonator of natural habitat, overfishing of the threatened the stability of life itself opportunities for trade. This could see faint glimmers of how our job could have come up with a more oceans, pollution of land and water, in such a profound way. We need a potentially slash the time it takes to might properly be done. We oper- memorable, less-soporific name. allowing the spread of non-native radical change not only in how we travel between Asia and the West by ate at about the Speed of Congress, We’d have called it the Cassandra species, and, of course, changing the treat each other, but how we think as much as 20 days. Arctic sea lanes though, so implementing significant Group. The report released Monday climate by burning fossil fuels. about each other as part of a living could [become] the 21st century changes may take more time than is actually just a 40-page “Summary This last latter factor was the sub- planet.” Expecting such a result Suez and Panama Canals.” we actually have. for Policy Makers.” The full report, ject of an earlier world-is-ending to arise from our present political Clearly the Cassandra Group still pending, is expected to come in report, released last October. Nine- landscape would seem perhaps a tad made one huge, obvious mistake. The Alleged News® at about 1,500 pages. It’s almost as ty-one scientists from 40 countries optimistic. Being scientists, they can’t really to page two Page 2 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, May 10, 2019

The Alleged News® They will answer in voices so sweet from page one You will eat, bye and bye In that glorious land above the sky Is the Green New Deal Pie-in-the-Sky? Work and pray, live on hay Now that a few younger people You’ll get pie in the sky when you die. have cleverly outfoxed our sclerotic Hill’s songs inspired the most electoral system and made their way radical elements of the labor move- into Congress, we’re beginning to ment, during his lifetime, and after hear about a new approach to energy his 1915 execution by firing squad which, they say, might help stave off in Utah. (Found guilty of murder, what scientists are calling the Holo- he is widely thought to have been cene Extinction. Many of the more, framed.) shall we say, experienced members Oh, dear—we seem to have wan- of our political class have suggested dered a bit far afield. Where were that the Green New Deal is just “pie we? Oh, yes: the impracticalities of in the sky.” generating electricity with newfan- That expression derives from gled methods like solar panels and “The Preacher and the Slave,” a song windmills—pipe dreams of socialist written by Joe Hill for the Industrial youth. For solid, reliable practicality, Workers of the World, and pub- nothing beats a good old coal-fired lished in 1911: plant like Brayton Point, down in Long-haired preachers come out ev- Somerset, Mass. ery night What’s that you say? It’s been Try to tell you what’s wrong and shut down? Sure enough—says so what’s right right here in the Providence Journal: But when asked how ‘bout some- “World-record implosion: Brayton thing to eat Point cooling towers tallest ever brought down. warfare evolved in the 20th century, round. At that price point, cruise “The towers, which stood ap- heavy battleships and cruisers, with missiles were cheaper. proximately 500 feet tall, had been their huge guns, became obsolete, In retrospect, former Secretary of among the final additions to the as destroyers were fitted with ev- the Navy John Lehman said of the now-closed Brayton Point Power er-more-capable guided missiles. Zumwalt class, “Cramming a lot of Station. It took four years for them The Zumwalt class of destroyer new technologies into one platform to be built at a cost of $600 million. was intended to combine eleven of was just crazy—it was doomed from They enjoyed a lifespan of approx- the latest technological advances in the start.” imately six years and a death that naval warfare into a single package. During the Vietnam War, Robert took a matter of seconds.” Its radical “tumblehome” design, Strange McNamara and his “Whiz Hmmm…that means those tow- sloping inward above the water- Kids” tried to use high technology ers cost $273,972 for every day they line, gives it a low radar cross-sec- to defeat an army of sandal-wearing were in use…. tion, and a distinctive appearance peasants. Will Pentagon ever learn? –=≈=– which would look right at home on U.S.S. Lyndon B. Johnson Christened the cover of a 1950s science fiction “It Sounded Like Hell Landing” The U.S.S. Lyndon B. Johnson was magazine. The pilot and two passengers died christened at Bath, Maine on April Its primary weapon was equally in the fiery crash of a Robinson R44 27th. A more fitting tribute could futuristic. The Advanced Gun Sys- helicopter in Hawaii on April 29th. hardly be found for a man who tem [AGS] would fire a 155 mm Despite the location—in Kailau, a served as an officer in the U.S. Navy Long Range Land Attack Projectile. densely-populated suburban neigh- The Music Hall hosted “British Blast! A Tribute to British Rock ‘n’ Roll” during World War II, and as our Rocket assisted, these shells would borhood on the island of O’ahu— last Saturday. The evening concert was a fundraiser for Big Brothers Big 36th President during the Vietnam have had an unprecedented range of the dead were all onboard the Sisters of New Hampshire. Earlier, in the afternoon, a number of fine Brit- War. about 80 nautical miles. malfunctioning machine. Bystand- ish automobiles lined up on Chestnut Street: a spiffy new Aston-Martin, TheLBJ , as it will likely be called, As technical difficulties piled up, ers tried without success to put out a Jaguar XK-120, a Morgan, a bug-eye Sprite—a Singer!—and three is a Zumwalt-class destroyer. De- though, costs mounted, too. The the blaze with garden hoses. Rolls-Royces. This one was the pick of the litter due to its history. It is said stroyers were originally developed Navy had to cut the number of ships One witness described the heli- to have been owned by Hugh Grosvenor, 2nd Duke of Marlborough, and in the late 19th century to defend on order from 32 to three. The re- copter spinning out of control be- lent to T.E. Lawrence, for use in his desert campaigns. Lawrence likely larger ships against the new threat sulting inefficiencies of scale drove fore crashing. “It sounded like hell mounted the humongous spotlight—the better to aim his Maxim gun, the of steam-powered torpedos. They the price of ammunition for the landing,” she said. mount for which is still in place. were light, fast, and cheap. As naval AGS up to nearly $1 million per Another witness told Hawaii­

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NewsNow, “I heard the helicopter in ing arm of RiverRun Bookstore, is the air and all of a sudden I heard a celebrating its 200th title. pop, like a blast kind of thing.” The For to See the Elephant: A Novel in witness said “he could see smoke Verse, follows the story of an enslaved coming out.” Debris landed on “at boy who, in 1795, is directed to care least eight separate properties,” ac- for the first elephant transported cording to that report. The accident to the United States. Author Tami occurred about 9:00 a.m. on Onea- Truax, of Eliot, Maine, was chosen wa Street; the street was closed until as the 2018-2020 Maine Beat Poet 7:00 p.m. the following day. Laureate, and was recently named The helicopter was registered to the Poet Laureate of Portsmouth. Novictor Helicopters. The compa- Throughout her career, Truax has ny also owned the Robinson R44 focused on literacy, aiming to teach which crashed on a sandbar in students of all ages in New England Kaneohe Bay, near Kailua, last Oc- and abroad, from preschoolers to tober. The pilot twice lost conscious- prisoners. Piscataqua Press had cho- ness during that flight. A passenger, sen to publish For to See the Elephant, a new bride, grabbed the controls and was in mid-production, when and was able to reduce the impact Truax was elected the next Ports- into waist-deep water. All three mouth Poet Laureate. The book is aboard required hospitalization. now available in paperback at Riv- According to Aviation Inter- erRun Bookstore or through most national News, Hawaii State Rep. online outlets including Amazon. Cynthia Thielen, a Republican, Piscataqua Press operates with- has “called on the FAA to prohibit in the modest confines of River- air tours over residential areas and Run Bookstore on Daniel Street in national parks and called for the Portsmouth. Since the publishing immediate grounding of helitour business was established by book- flights in Hawaii pending an inves- store manager Tom Holbrook five tigation.” years ago, it has published seacoast –=≈=– authors such as novelists Katherine Piscataqua Press Reaches Milestone Towler and Katie Curtis, memoirist er Elliott Baker. Authors farther a home for your book. Most of our Piscataqua Press has helped Riv- Piscataqua Press, in-house publish- Danielle Flood, and fantasy writ- afield also keep the Press humming. customers want a process that is erRun Bookstore with its bottom Roughly 80 percent of authors are faster than that, and one over which line as well. At a time when inde- local; the other 20 percent of au- they have more control. Instead of pendent bookstores everywhere thors publish with Piscataqua Press hiring a separate editor, cover de- are hard-pressed to turn a profit, remotely and live in states such as signer, and ebook creator for their diversification (including the repair Florida, Indiana, and New York. book, they hire us to do it all for and sale of vintage typewriters) has Writers have learned they can count them.” helped keep the doors open at Riv- on Piscataqua Press for dependable The Piscataqua Press publishing erRun for 17 years. Their success as a personal attention. package considers the author’s bot- “for-hire” publisher has also allowed “We provide an easy, personal- tom line. They do not take any share Piscataqua Press to publish a few ized, and dependable way to publish of the royalties from print and ebook titles a year as a “traditional publish- your book,” said Holbrook. “We use sales until the author has recovered er,” including recent releases Finding several methods to get books into his entire initial investment. Kurdistan, by Hawreh Haddadi, and the hands of readers. In most cases, “We started the press originally Ice Under Snow, by Josephine May. we ask the author to pay us for our because we saw so many local au- “We love to talk about all aspects services. We think of this as ‘assisted thors self-publishing their books, of independent publishing, so con- self-publishing.’ and, while we admired their drive tact us with any questions about “Authors everywhere are turning and independence, the books often us, our process, or just the state of to independent publishing because did not look as nice as a book pub- the publishing industry in general,” the world of traditional publishing lished by one of the big publishing Holbrook noted. For more infor- On the same day as the British Blast! [see other photo] our Wandering has become so difficult and convo- houses,” Holbrook explained. “We mation, Holbrook can be reached Photographer spotted this fine Model T Ford parked in front of the Hart- luted,” Holbrook said. “It’s terribly saw a need for someone to help get at RiverRun Bookstore, (603) 431- ford Building. Though a bit less ostentatious than the rigs around the cor- hard to get an agent, and then it these books into print at a reason- 2100 or via email at info@piscataqua- ner, it was in absolutely impeccable condition. may be years until that agent finds able price.” press.com.

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JROTC: A Military Recruiting Tool Sure, there are left brain/right brain To the Editor: dominant differences, and female ar- America is a militarized country as chetype vs. male archetype communi- reflected in our 2019 federal budget of cators. But, ultimately, your thoughts $717 billion dollars. This militariza- are only as big as your vocabulary. tion of our country is pervasive as it Reading is fundamental to brain permeates every facet of our society. and language development in children, an incurious, petulant child in our most Sadly, our public schools have been and, it is also critical to the expansion important position, it’s no wonder the weaponized to the extreme and one of your vocabulary as an adult. If we world’s a mess. reflection of that is the Junior Reserve don’t read, we limit our ability to com- The Editor 2019, p. 42), “[Nationalism] is po- Officers Corps ( JROTC). Following prehend the world around us. –=≈=– tentially the most destructive form of Mueller’s report would, in the case of the end of the Vietnam fiasco and Buckminster Fuller described lan- A Tin-Pot Primer in-group bias.” Pit one group against any other person not covered by the the draft, the Pentagon focused on guage as the box we can’t think outside To the Alleged Editor: another, especially against a minority. Office of Legal Counsel policy against expanding JROTC units nationwide. of. One example; common phases like So, class, want to tear down a de- Let’s suppose white-nationalists were indicting a sitting President, result in Veterans for Peace asserts JROTC is “the wind blows” make you think a mocracy? Okay, let’s get started. wearing Nazi armbands and spew- multiple felony charges for obstruction a military training and indoctrination certain way, when in fact, according to Right up near the top let’s violate ing violence against Jews in Charlot- of justice.” program in 3,500 public schools where Fuller, the wind sucks. He believed our any Constitution which exists. And tesville, Va., in August, 2017. What The number of former prosecutors some 500,000 students are exposed to language informs our thoughts. keep violating it. Law, schmlaw, who to do? Simply remark that there are signing grows daily! It can be found on one-sided textbooks, especially on U.S. Unfortunately, we have a President cares? Any litigation against you as a “some very fine people” in the neo-Na- Medium.com. History, and classes are often taught by who admittedly does not read. It is ev- wanna-be tyrant takes time and ties zi group. By recognizing America’s The letter goes on to describe the non-certified military instructors. ident in his lack of nuance, limited vo- up the courts close to forever. The pos- neo-Nazis as benign snowflakes they many ways Trump broke the law. The military said its curriculum cabulary, stumbling over words on the sibility exists, though, that you could are further emboldened. It’s one of a These prosecutors are Republicans and textbooks teach “citizenship” and teleprompter that have more than one lose in the courts, right? Wrong! despot’s favorite stratagems for tearing and Democrats, come from all over help cadets develop “leadership” skills. syllable, and his fascination with and Then how do you win in the courts? down a democracy. Pick a scapegoat, the United States, from rural and VFP disagrees and maintains JROTC repeated use of a word he just learned Well, duh, just stack all the courts with then set the dogs loose. urban areas. Their backgrounds and teaches “blind obedience” to authori- in a briefing. like-minded Right Wing extrem- No one needs reminding that cer- party affiliations are different, but they ty and that disagreements with other Trump has a grasp of derogatory ists—from the top court all the way tain ostensibly innocuous slogans agree on one thing, and so should you: countries can be resolved by using slurs, bigoted statements and general down, down, down (just like turtles). can be coded messages. Could the Trump is a criminal. violence.The Pentagon spends about bully talk. This may be what his brain Next, calling all toadies! Fall in line phrase “Make America Great Again,” Their experience is vast, most have $370 million a year to indoctrinate is limited to, he may not be able to or get the hook. Install two-bit poten- possibly be a code for “Make Amer- served under four or five Presidents. teens from 14 to 18. Each local school think of others any other way. This tates as department heads who (a) are ica White Again?” Who knows? Just They see that the United States is in district pays half of the instructors’ sal- is scary to think of when we rely on your fellow corporate hatchet men and wondering. In any event, try and make danger of losing its form of govern- aries who also may receive the same our President to negotiate with word proven enemies of the departments up your own slogans, something like ment, the rule of law, the system of benefits as certified teachers. leaders, who, I suspect, have incredible they head and (b) are loyal sycophants “America For Americans.” Innuendo checks and balances, the freedom of Another aspect of JROTC is that grasps of their native languages, as well who march to your perverse and de- to racism and bigotry is always a win- its citizens. They care enough to speak many schools offer a Civilian Marks- as other languages to boot! Clearly, ranged fantasies. (They play ball or it’s ner when dividing to conquer. out, and so should you. manship Program that works closely they can outsmart him. sayonara, bébé.) Times up, class. But all you have to So I ask, and so should you, why with the National Rifle Association Adhering to politically correct lan- And of course Lie! Nazi propagan- do is follow these few simple rules, and are current Republican Senators and (NRA) in terms of developing char- guage is a way of teaching our minds da minister Joseph Goebbels pretty bingo, you will establish yourself as an Members of the House defending acter. Apparently, the shooter in Park- to think of others respectfully. Using much set the gold standard: “If you tell authoritarian tin-pot dictator in no this felon? When will they develop the land, Florida, who killed 17, who was slurs to communicate indicates hierar- a lie big enough and keep repeating it, time. Then nothing will stop you from courage to speak out for the good of one of four JROTC cadets on the high chical thinking that relies on putting people will eventually come to believe ripping a democracy out by the roots the country? And if they don’t, do they school’s sharpshooter team, missed others down in an effort to elevate it…truth is the greatest enemy of the and trashing it, bigly. #easy-peasy. deserve to be representing us? that lesson. His rank was “lieutenant” oneself, rather than competing in the State.” Message? Keep spewing ex- Barnabas Umbrage Michael Frandzel and when arrested, he was wearing his world of ideas. This indicates insecuri- aggerated claptrap over and over and Portsmouth, N.H. Portsmouth, NH JROTC shirt. ty, and weakness. over and in no time your whopper of a Barnabas: –=≈=– Will Thomas We are at a crossroads, do we trend lie morphs into the unvarnished truth. Don’t hold back, Barnabas—tell us McConnell: Trump’s Stooge? Auburn, N.H. down a path toward easy to tweet, or And don’t forget Divide and Con- how you really feel! Dear Editor: Will: elevate and expand our vocabulary so quer. Vilifying any one or any group The Editor Pooh pooh to those whose warped Right on. that we can think inside a bigger box deemed a threat, manages in the –=≈=– loyalty to this extraordinarily bad ac- The Editor and maybe even outside the box? process to incite hatred and violence Prosecutors: Trump Committed Felonies tor/President remains firm. He’s a –=≈=– Didi Wallace against this alleged threat, as in “lock To the Editor: liar; he’s a blame-shifter; he’s a whin- Let’s Think About Thinking Portsmouth, N.H. her up” or “fake news media.” A good As of May 7th, 691 former Depart- er. He is the bad child in a family (his To the Editor: Didi: tactic, for instance, is to to encourage ment of Justice prosecutors signed White House, that I prefer to call Our Can one think complex thoughts Language molds our thoughts, and our white nationalism’s racists is by cham- a letter stating, “Each of us believes White House) who accepts the bad without thinking in words? Is there an thoughts dictate our actions. The world is pioning them. As Robert Sapolsky that the conduct of President Trump child sucking all the oxygen out of inner dialog going on in your mind? the sum of all our actions, combined. With wrote (Foreign Affairs, March/April, described in Special Counsel Robert the room. Getting all the attention.

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to do. One of numerous examples or wrote that, at least as far as anyone can was when Fox News host Brett Baier determine. polled the audience about who would We can’t help but think that Orwell be willing to switch to Medicare-for- would have loved Bernie—but we can’t All. His attempt to trip up Bernie blew prove it. up in his face. The Editor I’m sure that the Democrats will Baier asked: “ I want to ask the au- –=≈=– work hard to crush the effort of Gab- dience a question. If you could raise J’accuse Donald J.Trump bard to become the nominee, just like your hand here, a show of hands, how To the Editor: drome salivated over each time and they are working hard to crush the many people get their insurance from On this day, April 28 in 1898, Emile Did you ever see a spoiled child lie which turned out to be duds by the voice of Representative Omar, and work, private insurance? Right now, Zola’s open letter “J’accuse” (I accuse) on the floor and kick his heels while end of the week. However, the Dem- those who want to stop the distribu- how many get it from private insur- was published, accusing the French screaming? That’s Trump. I heard one ocrats persist in not only making fools tion of welfare to the wealthy that the ance? Okay, now of those, how many government and military of making a black Congresswoman aptly call him a of themselves but in boring the nation Fed is bestowing on them now that are willing to transition to what the Jewish officer, Captain Alfred Drey- “grifter.” Someone who obtains money to tears. the Fed has become the command senator says, a government-run sys- fus, a convenient scapegoat to coverup illicitly as in a confidence-game. Now If the Democrats are wise they will and control of the once-vibrant capi- tem?” His question was met with loud treasonous acts by the military. the newscasts are tracing his years of give up this farce and will now try to talist economy where businesses that cheers and applause. He continued, One hundred and twenty-one bad business losses that he prefers to gain and hold the Presidential office were poorly run were allowed to fail “There’s 180 million people on private years later, J’accuse President Donald hype as not-that. the old fashioned way—by adopting and crooks and fraudsters went to jail. insurance—they would be lost to your J.Trump of fostering, supporting, en- The more he orders those close to a platform that most Americans can Well, it’s the new baseball season system.” couraging a climate of hate, bigotry him not to cooperate with Congress, agree with, and a candidate that is able and in this same spirit, I would like to Bernie answered, “That’s what the and mass murder to advance his po- the more obvious it is he has big things to articulate the message. pick my political dream team which, right-wing throws out, so let me an- litical ends. to hide from the public eye. Unfortunately for the Democrats, now that Trump has become Sheldon swer that question.” Bernie goes on to It is more than a coincidence that As for Sen. Mitch McConnell that messenger will not come from Adelson’s stooge will likely be Gab- explain that no one would be lost in his shortly before the Poway, Calif. syn- saying “it’s all done, over,” about the Clinton clones and retreads like Joe bard for President and Omar for Vice system. He says that millions of peo- agogue murder of Lori Kaye, Donald Mueller Report—McConnell acts as Biden with the failed messages of President. ple, every single year, lose their health Trump once again defended the Na- another Trump-stooge. Our country globalism that destroyed America’s After all, I can dream, can’t I? insurance because they get fired or zi’s murderous rally at Charlottesville, is in a bad time with this irresponsible industrial base; his neoconservatism, John Dente quit their jobs. Many people also find this time with the justification that President. We went through six years with its perpetual war philosophy; and Wilmington, Del. they have a new policy that they didn’t they were really defending the statue of Republicans keeping President the neoliberal policy of welfare for the John: choose either because they’ve changed of Robert E. Lee, one of our “greatest Obama from achieving anything, and rich and austerity for everyone else. We don’t believe it’s wise under any jobs or their employers have switched generals.” Lee was certainly a great now we have a bad President who is A winning message can only come circumstance to look the other way as a insurance plans. He continued, “Every general. He also was a traitor who making the scene all about him for from those new, young and exciting President wipes his golf shoes on the Con- year, millions of workers wake up in waged war on the United States in de- two-plus years. Infrastructure needs, voices such as Tulsi Gabbard and Ilhan stitution. the morning and their employer has fense of slavery. income inequality exacerbated by Omar who really want to make Amer- That said, there’s no harm in follow- changed the insurance that they have. Defending a statute of one of Lee’s Trump’s mega tax cut for the rich, war ica great again by withdrawing from ing your suggestion that Democrats use So, what we’re talking about actually is leading officers, Gen. James Long- tensions increasing with Iran, need for the Middle East wars, in Gabbard’s whatever power they have to reject and stability—that when you have a Medi- street, of whom there are no statutes, supported rather than set-aside clean case, and breaking the grip of Israel repudiate neoliberalism, and adopt a care for All, it is there now and it is would have made some sense. In New air and clean water attention—all this and AIPAC over American foreign platform that uses the power of govern- there in the future.” Orleans in 1874, the retired Long- is not getting attention while the bad- and domestic policy, in Omar’s case. ment to reverse as much as possible the Bernie’s answer received loud cheers street led local police in resisting the boy President lies on his back kicking In addition, there is the dynamic damage done over the last four decades. and applause, and it suffices to say that takeover of local government by the his heels and whining and refusing to Alexandria-Ocasio-Cortez. Although The Editor he won over the hearts and minds of at White League. For that act of Amer- be responsible for anything/everything too young to run [for President, she] –=≈=– least 2.5 million working-class Ameri- ican Patriotism, Longstreet was ac- he does or has done. articulates the message that if the Fed Bernie Winning Hearts and Minds cans by talking with them. cused of being a “race traitor,” unlike Lynn Rudmin Chong is going to print money to distribute To the Editor: Wayne H. Merritt Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee, Sanbornton, N.H. to the Wall Street casinos through Senator Bernie Sanders confidently Dover, N.H. whose statues proliferated. –=≈=– the banks, then not only billionaires assured all naysayers prior to his Fox Wayne: Donald Trump’s improbable rise to Try Getting it Right This Time should receive the money, but so News-hosted town hall event, “Trust We were going to praise Bernie here power and his attempt to stay in power To the Editor: should the rest of us. me, I know Fox News. I know who by inserting a quote long attributed to is driven by ceaseless attacks on black It’s over: Finally. For this, she is labeled as a social- they are and I know what role they are Orwell—”In a time of universal deceit, and brown people, on immigrants, on Donald Trump won the 2016 elec- ist—or worse, a communist. Why playing. It’s important to distinguish telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” Muslims, on his steadfast refusal to tion. Hillary Clinton was the loser. should her constituents pay five hun- ‘Fox News’ from ‘the people who Sadly we can’t. condemn in no uncertain terms Nazis There was no Russian collusion. Mil- dred percent on payday loans while watch’ Fox News. It’s important to talk Not because it isn’t true—it is. Not as evil, as did Vice President Pence af- lions of dollars were wasted along with the wealthy get interest-free money to to Trump supporters and explain that because Bernie isnt a revolutionary ter Poway. Trump offers condolences all the breath and ink wasted on those risk in those casinos with the guaran- he has betrayed the working class of truth-teller—he’s that in spades. No, be- weekly bombs that CNN and those tee that if their bets go wrong they will this country.” cause according to a QuoteInvestigator. Mash Notes, Hate Mail, &c. with the Trump derangement syn- be bailed out? Bernie did exactly what he set out com post from 2013, Orwell never said to page six

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The Northcountry Chronicle Final Exams in Kansas, 1895 by William Marvel involved calculating the cubic feet ings. Many resent how the questions their farm. Not until his mid-twen- graduated from the high school. The in a load of wheat and transform- are used to suggest the deterioration ties did he begin attending Salina higher the grade, the fewer the boys or years now, an 1895 eighth- ing that, too, into bushels. Several of modern education; those who Normal Institute, earning a teach- in school. grade graduation examination geography questions were related to show the most evidence of having ing certificate in 1883. In 1888 he In their zeal to discredit the exam, Fhas been circulating around the weather, which they have altogether been stumped by the grammatical ran for the elective office of county critics suppose that most students internet. Newspapers occasionally too much of in Kansas. questions seem particularly rankled. superintendent, and held it for years failed it. Conway now has about poach it for editorial ammunition or I did not find the history segment When the Washington Post fea- while also running the family farm. 1 percent of its population in the amusing filler, and in this era of im- very demanding, although it might tured the test in 2015, the self-sat- That he designed it as an eighth- eighth grade, and in 1892 Salina mediate reader response the reaction confound today’s graduating senior. isfied audience of that paper took grade tests accounts for the absence gave eighth-grade certificates to 55 is often vitriolic. There was no inquiry at all into liter- umbrage. One subscriber blamed of questions about literature or gov- students, representing nearly 1 per- The test was given to students in ature or American government. The the 1895 test for a spelling mis- ernment, and the cursory attention cent of its residents. Kansas then had Saline County, Kansas, on April 13, categories of grammar and orthog- take made by the Post typesetter, to history. Hoping to reduce the twice the proportion of children, but 1895. The questions covered gram- raphy might stymie most modern and decided “obviously Kansans are contrast between scholastic expec- many left school before the eighth mar, arithmetic, U.S. history, orthog- adults, however, for they covered morons.” A couple of others offered tations then and now, some cham- grade, so a solid majority of Salina’s raphy, geography, and physiology, the elements of syntax and linguistic condescending explanations of mis- pions of modern education argue students probably passed the test. leaning heavily toward agricultural morphology that are soon forgotten, takes they thought they found in the that it was instead intended for As we near commencement with relevance. Under physiology, the and are not often emphasized today. presentation of one question, but the high-school seniors. The original 39 percent of Kennett students and student was expected to know how Relatively few Americans probably mistake arose from their own igno- test sheet doesn’t specify, but Kansas 57 percent of those at Fryeburg on to stop bleeding if an artery were even know what “case” means in the rance of the subject. newspapers advertised the locations the honor roll, the thing to remem- lacerated—a good skill to have, in grammatical sense, or what orthog- Many simply wrote the test off of the eighth-grade tests every April, ber about the 1895 test is that pass- farm country. Simple arithmetic raphy even is. The prospective grad- as fake news, but it wasn’t. My just before commencement. It was a ing it yielded more than a certificate questions included how much a uate was evidently also expected to wife was born and raised in Saline big deal. of attendance. Failing meant going 3942-pound load of wheat would be demonstrate an ability to find his County, and Superintendent Joseph Some of the questions would home without graduating. Kansans worth at 50 cents a bushel, deducting (and more often her) way around a W. Armstrong, who compiled the challenge today’s seniors, too, but the knew that lowering standards to 1050 pounds for tare. That required dictionary. questions, is buried in the ceme- ages between the two levels was not increase the graduation rate would knowing what “tare” was—which I Today the test surprises many tery almost directly across from the as stark in 1895 as it is in our strat- only devalue the accomplishment, didn’t, until the Kansas native across with its apparent difficulty, which is house where she first lived. He came ified system. Salina’s eighth-grade to the detriment of everyone the my breakfast table told me. Then one exaggerated by archaic vocabulary, to Kansas as a teenager with his re- graduates in 1892 ranged from not- system served. had to be able to convert wheat from and the esoteric subject matter dis- cently widowed mother in 1869, and quite-14 to nearly 18, while seven pounds to bushels; another problem tracts from its curricular shortcom- spent most of his youth working on girls and one boy between 16 and 18 –=≈=– from page five is biased. But Donald Trump is also wrong. The media is not his enemy; and notes the cops got their man. the media is the best friend Donald But from the President of the Trump ever had. United States, there is no clear con- quarterback Colin Kaepernick. The and how he is doing everything The media wants viewers. Don- demnation of murderous bigots-be- hits just keep on coming. Rights. he can get way with to remake our ald Trump runs his campaigns and come-terrorists and their hateful The problem is not that Donald Bigotry and antisemitism, to country and the world in his sad, Presidency as if they are a television ideology unless they are Jihadist Trump is a conservative, or a Re- paraphrase Jean Paul Sartre, is “the flawed, and dangerous to democracy program. His aim is to get viewers killers. There is also no attempt to publican. The problem is that he is socialism of fools.” image. Wake up America. Conser- and the public’s attention as a way control the purchase, spread, use, a bigot whose political strategy is Bigotry is at the beating heart of vative or liberal, it’s time to turn our to increase his popularity. When manufacture of assault weapons, or to appeal to bigotry, to lawlessness Trump and Trumpism. It’s a 21st backs on Donald Trump’s obscene Trump declared his candidacy in the ability to sue the gun makers. in defense of bigotry, telling border century version of the anti-immi- violations of freedom and democra- 2015, it was if we had the insult Instead, Donald Trump, on the patrol officers to ignore court orders. grant, anti-Catholic Know Nothing cy and take corrective action in our comic Don Rickles running for evening of the Poway shooting, I am not saying that to be a Tump party of the 19th century. own ways now before it’s too late. president. Trump insulted his way called members of the FBI “scum” supporter means you are a bigot. Trump is President, but not of Roy Morrison onto our television screens. We were for investigating him and embraced I am accusing Donald Trump of all the people. He cares only about Warner, N.H. intrigued, if not amused. Television his “crazy idea” of sending immi- deliberately, instinctively, and with those who bend their knees and –=≈=– stations loved it; high ratings. So we grants and asylum seekers to sanc- malice centering his Presidency pledge loyalty and fealty to his every Trump is Right…About the Media got more and more Trump on our tuary cities as supposed punishment. and his politics on a path of bigot- whim or to forgive all or almost all To the Editor: screens, which increasingly benefit- He also praised football player Nick ry, authoritarianism, and corruption his trespasses. As much as I hate to admit it, ted Trump’s campaign. The media Bosa for Facebook posts attacking of democratic ideal and our Bill or It’s completely clear what he is, Donald Trump is right. The media played a large role in helping Donald

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What is the “AI agenda,” who’s pushing it, and why? by Jim Hightower themselves. These automatons are army of cheap machines that don’t lion in public subsidies to open a technological progress. Hogwash! coming soon to a workplace near demand raises, take time off, or form huge manufacturing plant in Wis- There’s nothing “natural” about the orporate bosses don’t talk about you! unions. consin, but it’s now reneging and de- AI agenda—it’s a choice being made it in public, but among them- Not wanting to stir a preemptive As one prominent tech exec con- claring that it intends to replace 80 by an elite group of corporate and Cselves—psssst—they whisper excit- rebellion by human workers, corpo- fided to the New York Times, AI “will percent of its global workforce with political powers trying to impose edly about implementing a trans- rate chieftains avoid terms like auto- eliminate 40 percent of the world’s robots within 10 years. Corporate their selfish interests over us. formative “AI agenda” across our mation of jobs, instead substituting jobs within 15 years.” Some CEOs apologists say displaced humans can Populist author, public speaker, and economy. euphemisms like “digital transfor- are so giddy about AI’s profiteering be “reskilled” to do something else. radio commentator Jim Hightower AI stands for artificial intelli- mation” of work. Privately, however, potential that they openly admit But what? Where? When? No re- writes The Hightower Lowdown, a gence, the rapidly-advancing digi- top executives see AI as their path to their intentions. Take Foxconn, the sponse. monthly newsletter chronicling the tal technology of creating thinking windfall profits and personal enrich- Taiwanese electronics giant hailed Executives try to skate by the hu- ongoing fights by America’s ordinary robots that program themselves, act ment by replacing whole swaths of as a job creating savior last year by man toll by saying that the machine people against rule by plutocratic elites. on their own, and even reproduce their workforce with an automated Donald Trump. It was given $3 bil- takeover is the inevitable march of Sign up at HightowerLowdown.org. from page six Coakley Landfill and two have died, and we don’t want that problem in Trump get elected president. Nottingham.” And the media now plays a large For more information contact role in sustaining the Trump Pres- ognize our faces. So, one time, Joe nity Environmental Legal Defense John Terninko of NWA (john@ idency. Anything Trump does gets came over and kissed Lenore on top ment that he would never do any- Fund (CELDF) to represent them terninko.com) or Michelle Sanborn media attention, even if what he is of her head. Lenore was fond of Joe thing to suppress the vote. While in defending the Freedom from of CELDF ([email protected]). saying are lies, exaggerations, and before that event; she was fond of New Hampshire claims to be work- Chemical Trespass Ordinance. –=≈=– distortions. We get extensive cov- him after that event. He was Uncle ing to attract and retain more young A challenge has been brought by N.H. Nuke Sub Vet to Speak erage of Trump campaign rallies Joe being Uncle Joe. Was Joe too in- people, students in our state are soon Brent Tweed of G&F Goods, LLC A Benefit for Sub Vet Scholarship Fund which are essentially nothing but timate with women? Okay, media, to be subject to paying hundreds of in Rockingham Superior Court. The New Hampshire Submarine Vet- propaganda and are of zero news we heard the case, we processed it, dollars in automotive fees in they Ordinance was passed by voters in eran and Author Frank Hood will value. now drop it. Stop chasing viewers. choose to vote in local elections. As March of this year at Nottingham be at Albacore Park and Museum And the media is also biased Donald Trump does more offen- young people invest in getting an Town Meeting. Saturday, May 18th to talk about against lesser politicians. Gossipy sive and destructive things before 10 education here, this legislation tells The new Rights-based Ordi- life aboard a nuclear submarine. He bits and scraps of information are o’clock in the morning on any giv- students that they are not welcomed. nance protects the rights of Town will also be signing his book, Poopie headlined for days on end as if they en day than Warren, Sanders, and Right now, more high school residents to clean water, air, and soil, Suits & Cowboy Boots: Tales of a Sub- are of cosmic significance. Elizabeth Biden did in these cases. students leave New Hampshire for and prohibits corporations or gov- marine Officer during the Height of the Warren claimed to be of Native Perhaps, the best way to get the their degrees than any other state ernment agencies from disposing of Cold War. American heritage on one or more media to keep things in perspective (59 percent), largely due to having toxic wastes in Nottingham in order While being at sea for 300 days applications, though she has very is to turn the ratings game against the highest in-state tuition in the to protect those rights. This is the a year, all kinds of non-classified little Native American blood. Okay, it. If you feel that Trump gets too country. If we want to protect our second such Ordinance adopted by “things” can happen: funny stories, media, we heard the case; we pro- much undeserved attention on tele- economy and community, we must the Town of Nottingham, the first scary events, international sticky cessed it; now drop it. Stop chasing vision, when his face appears on the make it easier to stay and participate protecting the right of Townspeo- situations—even Admiral Rick- viewers. screen, turn the channel. If ratings here. The Granite State is an incred- ple to clean drinking water by ban- over coming aboard for a ride. In Bernie Sanders made a million drop when Trump appears, you may ible place to get connected to local ning commercial water extraction. Poopie Suits & Cowboy Boots, these or two on a best-selling book. That be sure television stations will reduce politics, but with these new barriers, The Right to Water Ordinance was stories are placed in the context of wasn’t the reason he wrote the book. his coverage to a reasonable level. it’s unlikely that these students will passed in 2008 and prevented USA the events of the time: the Vietnam He wrote it to help him become Gary Patton get engaged and ultimately stay here. Springs from extracting and bot- War, astronauts going to the moon, President. What was he supposed to Hampton, N.H. I write this as a young person who tling water, draining Nottingham’s political assassinations, the counter do, refuse the money? The real ques- Gary: is invested in making New Hamp- aquifer. culture, and more. This 480-page tion is “what will Bernie do with the They don’t even deny it. “He shire a better place for others to live “We are concerned about keeping book, packed with over 100 annotat- money now that he has it? Some- [Trump] is good for business.”—Tony and thrive, but there’s a lot of work our children safe by keeping toxins ed photos and a Submarine Lingo thing constructive like investments Maddox, Executive VP, CNN Inter- to do. I call on Governor Sununu to out of our water,” said Judy Doughty, Glossary, will be available through in renewable energy, or something national, August, 2017. keep his promise to young people by Board member of the Nottingham the Albacore museum store. All damaging like investments in ciga- The Editor signing HB 106, which will repeal Water Alliance. There are around proceeds will go to the Submarine rette companies?” Okay, media, we –=≈=– the previous legislation he signed 850 toxic waste sites in New Hamp- Veteran Scholarship Fund. So far, heard the case; we processed it, now Sununu vs. College Voting Rights and allow students to vote freely shire, including 22 on the national Frank and his co-author, his brother drop it. Stop chasing viewers. To the Editor: again in our state. Superfund registry. Charles, have donated over $18,000 Joe Biden has been accused of Governor Sununu wants to make Josie Pinto “The people of Nottingham are to this Fund. being overly friendly and person- it more difficult and expensive Concord N.H. the best ones to protect our water The Albacore Park and Museum al with women. My late wife and I for young people to vote in New –=≈=– and natural resources, and the vot- is at Market Street off Exit 7 of I-95, have personal experience with this. Hampshire. He showed us that Nottingham Water Alliance ers have spoken at Town Meeting,” in Portsmouth, N.H. Frank Hood Not that we were Joe’s friends, but when he signed HB 1264 into law Defends Rights Based Ordinance stated John Terninko, Chairperson will be signing books between 10:00 my wife and I saw him at enough last year, despite telling members of The Nottingham Water Alliance of the NWA. “Seven children have a.m. and 2:00 p.m. political events that he came to rec- the New Hampshire Youth Move- (NWA) has retained the Commu- been diagnosed with cancer near the –=≈=–

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Alternative Clothing & Goods 33 Vaughan Mall • Portsmouth, NH 03801 • (603) 431-2243 Page 8 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, May 10, 2019 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the first whom you choose to believe. drags about seventeen billion moves from the mouth of the Twice a day, too, the moon lets all Badger’s Island, bobbing around in and bridges work their hardest. town in this country not founded The Piscataqua’s ferocious current gallons of seawater — enough to river, up past New Castle, around that water go. All the seawater that the current. It weighs several tons, Ships coming in laden with coal, by religious extremists, is bounded is caused by the tide, which, in fill 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the bend by the old Naval Prison, just fought its way upstream goes and it bobs and bounces in the oil, and salt do so at high tide, for on the north and east by the turn, is caused by the moon. The the river and into Great Bay. This under Memorial Bridge, past the back home to the ocean. This is current like a cork. more clearance under their keels. Piscataqua River, the second, third, other player is a vast sunken valley creates a roving hydraulic conflict, tugboats, and on into Great Bay. when the Piscataqua earns its title The river also has its placid mo- They leave empty, riding high in or fourth fastest-flowing navigable — Great Bay — about ten miles as incoming sea and the outgoing This can best be seen when the tide for xth fastest current. Look for the ments, around high and low tides. the water, at low tide, to squeeze river in the country, depending on upriver. Twice a day, the moon river collide. The skirmish line is rising. red buoy, at the upstream end of When the river rests, its tugboats under Memorial Bridge. Sunday, May 12 Monday, May 13 Tuesday, May 14 Wednesday, May 15 Thursday, May 16 Friday, May 17 Saturday, May 18

2015—An FEC report reveals that 2015—The day after eight die in a 2015—TheUnion Leader’s editorial, in 2003—In Strong, Maine—“Tooth- 2017—Two dozen goons attack 2017—On learning that Bob Mueller 1992—The 27th Amendment, pro- Rep. Frank Guinta, after years of de- Philadelphia derailment, Congress full: “Frank Guinta is a damned liar.” pick Capitol of the World”—the last peaceful protestors outside the Turk- will investigate Russia’s involvement hibiting any Congress from raising its nying wrongdoing, has agreed to pay votes to slash Amtrak’s budget. 1992—The George H.[H.]W. Bush manufacturer of proper, i.e., birch, ish Embassy in Washington, D.C. in his election, President Trump says, own pay, is ratified 202 years after its back an illegal $355K campaign loan 2005—A Pentagon commission rec- administration opens up 1,400 acres toothpicks closes. as President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is submission. and a $15K fine to boot. ommends closing the Portsmouth of spotted owl habitat for logging. 2002—The White House admits it looks on approvingly. Four are arrest- the end of my Presidency. I’m fucked.” 1982—The Rev. Sun Myung Moon is 1996—Sec. of State Madeleine Al- Naval Shipyard. 1987—Robert “Bud” McFarlane tells knew before 9/11 that al Qaeda had ed, but all charges are dropped. 2010—A Robinson R44 helicopter convicted of tax fraud. bright tells Lesley Stahl on “60 Min- 1985—A Philadelphia police heli- Congress that if he’d objected to arm- plans to hijack U.S. airliners. 2001—Ex-FBI Special Agent, devout crashes into a housing subdivision on 1980—Mt. St. Helens cuts loose for utes” that sanctions killing 500,000 copter bombs MOVE headquarters, ing Central American terrorists, “Bill 2001—Two engineers in a locomotive Catholic, patron of strippers, and am- the Philippine island of Luzon. All the first time in 123 years. children in Iraq is “a very hard choice, killing 11 and leaving 250 homeless. Casey, Jeane Kirkpatrick, and Cap chase and stop an unmanned train full ateur exhibitionist Robert Hanssen is four aboard burn to death and take 1974—India successfully tests a nu- but … we think the price is worth it.” 1971—President Nixon tells his flun- Weinberger would have said I was of hazardous chemicals after it rolled indicted for selling U.S. secrets to the two people on the ground with them. clear weapon in an operation named 1987—News reports say Oliver North kies to get a new IRS head: “a ruthless some kind of commie.” 66 miles at high speeds across Ohio. U.S.S.R., then the Russians. 1976—R. Reagan, in Time: “Fascism Smiling Buddha. lost a $10 million contribution for the son of a bitch … who will go after our 1975—The Khmer Rouge take the 1991—The Pentagon releases info 1969—AP discovers that some grunts was really the basis of the New Deal.” 1969—At Hamburger Hill, casual- Contras by using the wrong Swiss enemies and not go after our friends.” captive crew of the Mayagüez to main- confirming that Manuel Noriega used on Hamburger Hill are discontented. 1974—Six members of the Symbi- ties mount as the fight goes on. The bank account number. 1957—Ngo Dinh Diem is treated to land Cambodia. to be on the CIA’s payroll. 1974—Bill Harris, terrorist, is caught onese Liberation Army hole-up in a commander orders helicopters out of 1984—Philip Abrams, HUD Un- a ticker tape parade in New York Ciy. 1969—Two companies of the 101st 1975—Marines retake the abandoned shoplifting socks from Mel’s Sporting small house in L.A. surrounded by the area after more friendly fire deaths. dersecretary under R. Reagan, says 1946—Authorities in Germany order assault an NVA regiment atop Ham- Mayaguez. Other Marines, green and Goods in L.A.; but he and wife Emily 400 cops. Armed with full-auto M-1 1958—CIA pilot Al Pope is shot Hispanics live in crowded homes out the destruction of 30,000 books— burger Hill. Despite 12 KIA and 80 unaware that the ship’s crew is being escape as heiress Patty Hearst blasts carbines, they fire 4,000 rounds but hit down while strafing an Indonesian of “cultural preference,” not poverty. American military authorities. WIA, they make no progress. released, chopper to Koh Tang Island. the storefront with a machine gun. no one. They all die, shot or burned. port. The U.S. Ambassador claims 1975—Khmer Rouge naval forces 1945—After a brief court martial in 1961—Klansmen in Anniston, Ala. Dug-in Khmer Rouge greet them. 1948—CBS correspondent George 1973—To help Continental Oil de- he’s a mere “soldier of fortune.” Doc- using ex-U.S. Swift Boats seize the Amsterdam—and Germany’s sur- celebrate Mother’s Day by torching a Fifteen Marines are KIA, 50 WIA. Polk turns up murdered in Salonika velop new drilling techniques, the uments found on Pope prove it’s a lie. U.S. container ship Mayagüez and 39 render—Bruno Dorfer and Rainer bus. The Freedom Riders on board es- Three are left on the beach. Harbor. The U.S.-supported Greek AEC explodes three nukes under- 1935—The propaganda plane Maxim crewmen off Cambodia. Beck, deserters from the Wehrmacht’s cape the fire, but not a savage beating. 1970—City and State cops shoot 14 government frames a Commie, and ground in Colorado. Gorky, equipped with a printing plant 1960—The remains of SSgt. Guy E. Kriegsmarine, are executed by Ger- 1960—The New Yorker’s A.J. Liebling protesting black students, killing two, U.S. journalists cover up the frame. 1968—Nine people break into Ca- and loudspeakers audible from the Shelley are found 97 miles from where man soldiers using German rifles pro- writes, “Freedom of the press is guar- at Jackson State in Mississippi. 1918—Congress passes the Sedition tonsville, Md.’s draft board and burn ground, crashes after it’s hit by an es- he parachuted to Earth, 17 years after vided by the Seaforth Highlanders. anteed only to those who own one.” 1969—“If there has to be a bloodbath Act. It’s now a crime to “ . . .willfully ut- 600 files with homemade napalm. corting fighter plane; 45 die. his plane crashed in the Sahara. 1930—The New Hampshire Histori- 1932—Mayor Jimmy Walker leads then let’s get it over with,” says Gov. R. ter, print, write, or publish any disloyal, 1954—Border Patrol agents begin 1927—Andrew Kehoe, angry at hav- 1958—Future Defense Secretary cal Society announces it’s acquired one 150,000 New Yorkers in a day-long Reagan, sending the National Guard profane, scurrilous, or abusive language deporting 1 million people from five ing to pay taxes to support the Bath, Robert Strange McNamara says cab- of three known copies of The Monster of “We Want Beer” parade. to take Peoples’ Park from the hippies. about the form of government of the states in “Operation Wetback.” Mich. school system, blows up the bage and broccoli will protect Ameri- Monsters, the pamphlet that got Dan- 1930—The New York Times, in 157 1968—J. Edgar “Mary” Hoover tells United States, or the Constitution of 1954—President Eisenhower creates school killing 43 people including cans from atomic fallout. iel Fowle thrown in prison in 1754. words about the New Hampshire the Chicago office to tell the Mafia the United States . . . .” the notion of “Executive Privilege.” 39 grade-schoolers. He then kills his 1947—Trunk murderess Winnie Ruth 1929—Prominent businessmen from Historical Society’s acquisition of a Dick Gregory is bad-mouthing them. 1916—In the Sykes-Picot Agree- 1954—The Supreme Court throws wife, loads his truck with dynamite Judd makes her third escape from the across the country begin a three-day 18th century pamphlet, The Monster 1951—Gen. Omar Bradley calls Gen. ment, Britain and France, with Rus- out “separate but equal” education. and nails, and blows up the school su- Arizona State Insane Hospital. conference in Atlantic City, N.J. of Monsters, mis-states who was jailed MacArthur’s Korea plan “[t]he wrong sia’s OK, screw the Arabs. 1934—At Madison Square Garden, perintendent and himself. 1916—In deference to the wounds 1862—Robert Smalls, enslaved and for how long, cites the wrong war, at the wrong place, at the wrong 1879—Two men in Raleigh, N.C. are tens of thousands of Friends of the 1918—Congress creates the draft. they inflicted during the Easter Upris- helmsman of the Confederate military printer (Zechariah Fowle, not Dan- time, and with the wrong enemy.” hanged twice: the ropes were too long New Germany rally under a swastika Emma Goldman protests, for which ing, the Royal Irish Constabulary put transport Planter, commandeers the iel), and mistates this paper’s name. 1923—Upton Sinclair is arrested in the first time. In Utah, a firing squad in support of Adolf Hitler. she’s soon deported. James Connolly in a chair so the firing vessel, pilots it out of Charleston har- 964—John XII’s papacy is abruptly Los Angeles for reading the Bill of misses the condemned man’s heart; it 1792—The conspiracy known as the 1896—The Supreme Court OKs ra- squad can shoot him again. bor, and turns it over to the U.S. Navy. ended by a jealous husband. Rights to striking Wobblies. takes him 27 minutes to die. New York Stock Exchange is formed. cial segregation in Plessy v. Ferguson. 5:39 6:27 6:46 7:31 7:52 8:31 8:55 9:26 9:54 10:17 10:48 11:06 11:39 11:52

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Sunday, May 19 Monday, May 20 Tuesday, May 21 Wednesday, May 22 Thursday, May 23 Friday, May 24 Saturday, May 25

2017—Big game hunter Theunis 2009—The FBI entraps four Muslim 2016—Hundreds gather in Houston. 2004—Portsmouth’s Leftist March- 2012—A mentally-unstable PNSY 2005—“See, in my line of work you 2009—A Robinson R44 helicopter ac- Botha, 51, dies in Zimbabwe when an men in a bogus Bronx bomb plot. Some come to rally in support of Is- ing Band debuts before a surprised and employee sets a fire that destroys the got to keep repeating things over and cidentally lands in Lake Winnipesau- elephant shot by a client falls on him. 2004—U.S. and Iraqi troops raid the lam. Some, armed, come to oppose. delighted audience in Market Square. billion-dollar U.S.S. Miami. over and over again for the truth to kee. Miraculously, all aboard survive. 1962—In Madison Square Garden, home and offices of Ahmed Chalabi, Both sides are responding to online 2002—Bobby Frank Cherry is found 1990—A Robinson R22 helicopter sink in, to kind of catapult the propa- 1986—”Hands Across America” ends Marilyn Monroe sings “Happy Birth- formerly the neo-cons’ most trusted posts from a Russian troll farm. guilty of bombing the 16th Street with two aboard loses power over ganda,” mansplains G.W.[MD] Bush. hunger and homelessness. day” to President John F. Kennedy. source of Iraqi intelligence. 2010—Glenn Beck claims “a good Baptist Church in 1963. Griffin, Ga. Somehow only one dies. 2000—Linda Tripp beats wiretap 1981—Kennebunkport native Dan 1956—A 15-megaton bomb test in 1978—Mavis Hutchinson, 53, makes portion” of Americans were glad when 1977—In the wee hours of a conven- 1976—The Washington Post reports charges. Ignorance of the law appar- Goodwin scales the Sears Tower the South Pacific raises radiation lev- New York City after running across President Franklin D. Roosevelt died. tion, hard-liners take over the NRA. that Rep. Wayne L. Hays’ (D-Ohio) ently excuses Right Wingers. dressed as Spiderman. els in the U.S. to 10 times normal. America for 69 days. 2001—The GAO refutes Republican 1968—In New York, police arrest mistress, on his payroll at $14,000 a 1989—Stephen McCoy, being killed 1979—“Capital punishment;” says 1954—The U.S.P.O. OKs a CIA 1969—After 11 bloody assaults in 10 claims that departing Democrats van- nearly 1,000 at occupied Columbia U. year, admits she “can’t type…can’t file, by Texas state employees, has a violent John Spenkelink, sitting in “Old mail-opening project. days, American troops take Ham- dalized the White House. 1968—A Sikorsky helicopter leaves [and] can’t even answer the phone.” reaction to the drugs. His thrashing Sparky,” “them without the capital get 1953—A wind shift in Nevada sends burger Hill at a cost of 70 dead and 372 1981—The Senate OKs $20 billion to Disneyland heliport and falls apart in 1971—President Nixon meets with cause a male witness to faint and fall the punishment.” fallout from our dirtiest-ever nuke wounded. It’s abandoned 16 days later. resume full-scale production of nerve mid-flight; all on board [23] die. the milk cartel. For a $2 million cam- over, knocking over another witness. 1953—At the Nevada Test Site, the test, Upshot-Knothole Harry, to 1973—The Camden 28, who broke gas and other chemical weapons. 1968—The nuclear sub Scorpion, two paign contribution, he OKs a $100 1978—To spring skyjacker Garrett B. U.S. fires a 15-kt nuclear warhead from where Howard Hughes will film The into a draft board office, are acquitted. 1980—In Gwangju, Korea, students nuclear torpedos, and all 99 crew million increase in the cost of milk. Trapnell, pistol-packing Barbara Ann a cannon called “Atomic Annie,” previ- Conqueror one year later. 1937—George Orwell takes a bullet using weapons looted from armories members are lost at sea. 1969—Air Force Sgt. Paul Meyer, Oswald orders pilot Allen Barklage ously seen at Ike’s Inaugural Parade. 1950—In South Amboy, N.J., four in the throat while fighting against drive troops from downtown. 1962—Thomas G. Doty buys dyna- homesick, drunk and impersonat- to land his charter helicopter in the 1950—A speeding Green Hornet ammunition barges carrying 467 tons Franco’s fascists in Spain. 1968—Students protest the Vietnam mite and flight insurance, then boards ing an officer, steals a C-130 from yard of the federal pen at Marion, Ill. streetcar in Chicago collides with a of ammunition explode killing 30 and 1927—Charles Lindbergh leaves War in West Berlin, Paris, Peking, Flight 11, which explodes. Instead of Mildenhall, UK and heads for Lang- Barklage nixes the plot by grabbing gasoline truck, killing 34. injuring 350 more. Long Island by air, heading east. Berkeley, and New York. $300K, his wife gets a $3.00 refund. ley, Va. He crashes into the English Oswald’s gun and shooting her dead. 1940—In Atlanta, Ga., the Crypt 1943—U.S. sub-chaser PC-815, 1926—Thomas Edison announces 1946—A screwdriver slips; the same 1957—A 10-megaton H-bomb is ac- Channel—possibly shot down. 1971—After a ski pole punctures his of Civilization, a 2,000 cubic foot commanded by L. Ron. Hubbard, that Americans prefer silent films to plutonium core that killed Harry cidentally dropped near Albuquerque. 1939—Squalus sinks off the Shoals heart in a fall from a ski lift, actor Clint hermetically-sealed room with a sev- engages non-existent Japanese subs in those newfangled talkies. Daghlian the previous August gives It’s non-nuclear explosives leave a cra- with 59 aboard. Within 40 hours, 33 Walker is declared dead. A dissenting en-foot thick stone roof, filled with battle off the Oregon coast. 1920—Henry Ford prints the bogus Louis Slotin a lethal burst of radiation. ter 12 feet deep and 25 across. are rescued, but 26 die. M.D. postpones his death to 2018. literature, recordings, and miscella- 1932—Rep. C. Fuller (D-Ark.) in- Protocols of the Elders of Zion in his 1945—Bogie, 45, marries Bacall, 20. 1949—Ex-Defense Secretary James 1934—Cops in Louisiana ambush and 1964—Barry Goldwater says let’s use neous doodads, is welded shut. It will troduces a bill requiring Civil Service newspaper, the Dearborn Independent. 1924—Nathan Leopold, 19, and Forrestal ambiguously defenestrates kill Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. nukes in South Vietnam. be opened in 8113 A.D. Sure it will. employees be able to “sing, write or 1918—A tornado hits Codell, Kan. Richard Loeb, 18, murder Robert from a 16th floor hospital window. Their bodies are mauled by gawkers as 1961—Freedom Riders, though vio- 1928—After circling the North Pole, recite the words to the Star Spangled 1917—A tornado hits Codell, Kan. Franks, 14, for the fun of it. 1944—Life publishes a photo of they get hauled through town dead in lating no laws, are arrested on arrival Umberto Nobile’s airship Italia crash- Banner” from memory. 1916—A tornado hits Codell, Kan. 1894—Dr. Guillotin’s device about an American girl at her desk with a their shot-up Ford V-8. in Jackson, Miss. It’s part of a secret es northeast of Spitsbergen. Eight 1925—Malcolm Little, later “X,” is 1899—New Yorker Jacob German to humanely remove his head, Emile souvenir sent by her boyfriend in the 1930—“I wish you all had one neck and deal between racist Sen. James East- crew members survive on the ice; six born in Omaha, Neb. gets the first ticket for speeding—he Henry tells the assembled throng, Pacific—the skull of Japanese soldier. that I had my hands on it,” writes serial land and A.G. Bobby Kennedy. vanish as the balloon drifts away. 1920—In Matewan, W. Va., seven went over 12 mph. “Courage, camarade, vive l’anarchie.” 1884—Hugh Daily fans 13 for the killer Carl Panzram to the Society for 1959—The first home bomb shelter is 1920—Robert T. Hogan is arrested coal company stooges and four locals 1631—Unpaid soldiers first conquer 1871—To correct the alleged errors of Chicago Browns pitching with his the Abolition of Capital Punishment. shown in Pleasant Hills, Pa. for teaching German at a parochial die in a main street shootout. Magdeburg, then loot it. Disappoint- the Paris Commune, the 20-35,000 right hand — the only one he has. 1908—In Calif., 16 passengers sur- 1861—Shot while removing a Rebel school in Nebraska. 1918—For protesting her husband’s ed with their booty, they slaughter executions of “Bloody Week” begin. 1856—Rep. Preston Brooks (D-S.C.) vive a fall from an exploding dirigible. flag from a hotel roof in Alexandria, 1826—Hooligans in Chepatchet, lynching the day before, Mary Turner, 20,000 Protestants for the greater glo- 1823—The 200th anniversary of the visits the floor of the Senate and beats 1849—In Haverhill, N.H., thou- Va., Col. Elmer Ellsworth, friend of R.I. test Hachaliah Bailey’s claim that eight months pregnant, is lynched in ry of of the Holy Roman Emperor and settling of Portsmouth is “celebrated Sen. Charles Sumner (R-Mass.) near- sands watch as Rev. Enos Dudley is Abe Lincoln, becomes the first Union his elephant, “Old Betty,” has bullet- Lowndes County, Ga. the Mother Church. with great éclat.” ly to death with a cane. hanged for strangling his wife. officer to die in the Civil War. proof hide. She does not. 12:27 12:37 1:14 1:22 2:01 2:07 2:48 2:53 3:37 3:42 4:28 4:35 5:22

6:10 6:19 6:57 7:04 7:42 7:49 8:28 8:36 9:15 9:24 10:05 10:16 10:56 10:56

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