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THE ROCKIN TALE OF SNOW WHITE

This script belongs to: ______

CHARACTERS: Forest Animals: Ribbon Peddler Roonie Rabbit Comb Peddler Mother Donnie Deer Fruit Peddler Josh Billy Bunny Peggy Sue Chip Chipmunk Little Bird SONGS: King Young Queen Huntsman Snow White’s Hip-Hop, Doctor Angel Doo-Wop, Be-Bop, Funky Devil Little Rockin’ Tale Ladies in Waiting: Meredith Villagers: Ladies in Waiting Molly Rock Mary Stone The Seven Dwarves Work Maureen Pebble Song Martha Brick Judy Have Ya Heard? Dwarves: Evil Queen Zip A Pinch of This Snow White Kip Mirror Tip Celebrate Pip Romantic Hero Prince Flip Snow White Reprise His People Chip Big Mike 2

SONG: SNOW WHITE HIP-HOP, DOO WOP, BE-BOP, FUNKY LITTLE ROCKIN’ TALE

ALL:

Once upon a time in a legendary kingdom, Lived a royal princess, fairest in the land. She would meet a prince. They’d fall in love and then some. Such a noble story told for your delight. ’Tis a little rockin’ tale of pure Snow White!

They start rockin’

We got a tale, a magical, marvelous, song-filled serenade. We got a tale, a fun-packed escapade. Yes, we’re gonna wail, singin’ and a-shoutin’ and a-dancin’ till my feet both fail! Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale!

GIRLS: We got a prince, a muscle-bound, handsome, buff and studly macho guy!

GUYS: We got a girl, a sugar and spice and-a everything nice, little cutie pie.

ALL: We got a queen, an evil-eyed, funkified, lean and mean, total wicked machine.

DWARVES: And we got dwarves, feisty little dwarves. The rockinest you’ve ever seen!

ALL: We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nail-bitin’ mystery. We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic over hill and dale. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale!

Scene One 3

LIGHTS UP: On JOSH and PEGGY SUE playing with dolls on the rug in the living room. PEGGY SUE has a pretty princess doll and JOSH has a soldier action figure.

PEGGY SUE: …and the prince falls in love at first sight, and now he has to kiss her. JOSH: Gross! No way! He’s not gonna kiss her! PEGGY SUE: Yes! He has to. JOSH: No! PEGGY SUE: He has to! He loves her. JOSH: He does not. He just met her. PEGGY SUE: It’s love at first sight. JOSH: There is no such thing. PEGGY SUE: There is, too! It happens all the time! JOSH: Like when? PEGGY SUE: Like in all the fairy tales. JOSH: Name one. PEGGY SUE: Snow White! PEGGY SUE: Uh-uh! That is not what happens! JOSH: Is too! PEGGY SUE: Is not! JOSH: Is too! PEGGY SUE: Is not!

Their mother enters the room.

MOTHER: What’s going on here? BOTH KIDS: Mom! PEGGY SUE: He said that the prince didn’t love Snow White at first sight because she was dead and— JOSH: She said that the prince totally loved Snow White at first sight and then wanted to kiss her and there is no way that’s true! MOTHER: Whoa… whoa… whoa! What’s this about? The story of Snow White? KIDS: Yes! (They quiet down.) MOTHER: Well, there is one way to resolve this. Let’s see what the Grimm brothers have to say, shall we? KIDS: The who? 4

MOTHER: The Brothers Grimm. They wrote the story. (MOTHER looks at bookshelf and pulls down a book.) Here it is! “Once upon a time, in the middle of winter, when the flakes of snow were falling like feathers from the sky…”

Behind them, the scene plays out in the castle

KING: What are you doing, my dear? YOUNG QUEEN: Sewing… and wishing. KING: Wishing? Wishing for what? Tell me and I will buy it for you. YOUNG QUEEN: It is nothing you can buy. I wish for a child of our own. KING: Oh! YOUNG QUEEN: Would that I had a child with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as the wood of the window frame. KING: (Puts his arm around her.) Someday you will, my dear.

JOSH: Red as blood?! Cooooool! PEGGY SUE: You are so immature. MOTHER: Would you two listen?! (Continues reading.) “Soon after that, she had a little daughter…”

DOCTOR: (ENTERS UP RIGHT with a baby in his arms.) It’s a girl! Congratulations. (Gives baby to KING.) This should be a joyous day, but… (Dramatic pause; to AUDIENCE.) I have bad news, sire. KING: Bad news? What is it? DOCTOR: I’m sorry, your majesty. But the queen… (Dramatic pause; to AUDIENCE.) …has died. KING: What?! No, it can’t be! Why didn’t you save her? DOCTOR: Your majesty! I’m just a country doctor. I’m not a magician. KING: Nooooo!! (Falls to his knees.) Alas and alack! My beloved wife lost! (Gets back on feet.) But here is my beautiful daughter, with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as ebony. I shall name her Snow White to remind me of my wife’s wish.

Scene Two 5

MOTHER: (Continues reading.) “After some time, the king took himself another wife. She was a beautiful woman, but she was proud and arrogant, and she could not stand it if anyone might surpass her in beauty. She had a magic mirror… ”

EVIL QUEEN: (ENTERS, walks over and uncovers MIRROR. She poses a few times.) Hello, Mirror! What wonderful things do you have to share with me today? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who in this land is fairest of all? MIRROR: You, my queen, are the fairest of all. (QUEEN breaks into a huge smile and EXITS)

MOUSE ENTERS with time sign that reads “SIX YEARS LATER…”

Ladies in Waiting enter carrying hand mirrors.

MEREDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, a limerick for your enjoyment. MARTHA: There once was a queen so vain, MARY: Her mirror could not call her plain. MOLLY: If he didn’t say… MAUREEN: …you’re beautiful today… JUDY: …her anger would cause him great pain! (ALL LADIES laugh.) MEREDITH: But wait! We have more! (LADIES pair up and dance and move through the recitation of this poem.) MARTHA: Our wit you’ll adore. MARY: So give us your full attention. MOLLY: Just lend us an ear, MAUREEN: But have no fear… JUDY: …your problems we will not mention. MEREDITH: When I look in the mirror I am happy to see… MARTHA: …that no one is nearly as pretty as me! (ALL LADIES titter with laughter.) MARY: As a lady-in-waiting I am lucky to wear… MOLLY: …the latest in fashion and stylish hair. MAUREEN: A look in the mirror reveals what is true… JUDY: …that I am so much better looking than you. 6

MEREDITH: We are the ladies, ladies-in-waiting. MARTHA: We represent the finest in the land. MOLLY: Waiting on the queen ALL: With these mirrors in our hands! 7

SONG: LADIES IN WAITING

ALL LADIES:

Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! Every day we wait, wait! Every night we tuck her in, Wake up again and…

LADIES ONE: (Sing as melody with LADIES TWO singing backup vocals.) We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game!

LADIES TWO: (Sing backup vocals to LADIES ONE’S melody.) Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! Every day we wait, wait! Every night we wait, wait!

LADIES TWO: (Sing as melody with LADIES ONE singing backup vocals.) We got the hair. We got the looks. We could be in all the glamour books. The woman ain’t got nothin’ on us. So why the drama, why the fuss?

ALL LADIES: (Sing.) Bewitching and bedazzling, The boys all fall at our feet. We’ve got the zoom, we’ve got the zing! A cute little dolly, sugar sweet! Drop dead gorgeous head to feet! We’re the chicks who wait on the queen. It’s a ho-hum, dumb routine. Every day it’s more of the same. We’re just pawns in a royal game. Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! Every day we wait, wait! Every night we tuck her in, Wake up again and… Wait, wait! All we do is wait, wait! Every day we wait, wait! Every night we tuck her in, Wake up again and wait! Wait, wait! 8

Scene Three

MOTHER: “Snow White continued to grow up until one day she was even more beautiful than the Queen.”

QUEEN: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who in this land is fairest of all? (Waits expectantly.) MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. But Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. QUEEN: What?! I… I… what did you say?! MIRROR: Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you. QUEEN: What?! MIRROR: (Yells and speaks very slowly.) I said, Snow White is a thousand— QUEEN: I heard you the first time! MIRROR: Well then, why did you ask again? QUEEN: You’re lying! And just for that, I’m going to hit you with a hammer and break you into a thousand pieces! How would you like that? MIRROR: Go ahead. It is impossible for me to lie to you, your majesty. You know that. I’m a mirror, for heaven’s sake. I can only reflect what I see. So go ahead, wreck me. See if I ever talk to you again. QUEEN: (Whines.) She is a child! There is no way she is prettier than me. MIRROR: Look, I call ’em like I see ’em.

QUEEN: (Stops and snaps her fingers. MARTHA immediately ENTERS to do her bidding and curtsies.) Fetch me my fine handkerchief box from my room. MARTHA: Yes, my lady. (EXITS. QUEEN continues her pacing. Stops and snaps her fingers again. JUDY ENTERS to do her bidding and curtsies.) QUEEN: Summon my huntsman. JUDY: Yes, my lady. Huntsman enters with Judy. Judy gives the Queen a box. QUEEN: You are my loyal servant? HUNTSMAN: Of course, milady. QUEEN: And you will do whatever I ask? 9

HUNTSMAN: Of course, milady. QUEEN: Take Snow White out into the woods. I never want to see her again. Kill her, and as proof that she is dead, bring her lungs and her liver back to me. Deliver them to me in this box. HUNTSMAN: Kill her?! But, milady, surely not! (Drops to one knee and pleads.) Do not ask me to do such a thing. Snow White is so gentle, so kind, so lovely. I cannot kill such a delicate flower. QUEEN: You will do as I say, or you yourself will die! HUNTSMAN: Yes, milady.

Scene Four

Snow White Enters the woods with the huntsman, then walks away from him and gently approaches some forest friends.

ROONIE RABBIT: Oh, Snow White, you are so gentle. How can you stay so kind and gentle? SNOW WHITE: As a child, my father told me, “Life is short, so fill it with goodness. There are treasures around us everywhere for us to behold.” BILLY BUNNIE: Treasures? I see no treasure. I see rain. SNOW WHITE: I see silver. DONNY DEER: I see sunshine. SNOW WHITE: I see gold. CHIMMY CHIPMUNK: Leaves? SNOW WHITE: Emeralds! It’s so lovely here. A Little Bird Flies up SNOW WHITE: Hello, pretty bird! How are you today? LITTLE BIRD: Better than you, I fear. SNOW WHITE: Why, little bird! How can you say such a thing? It is such a lovely day, and the huntsman yonder has been kind enough to be my protector as I gather these lovely flowers. LITTLE BIRD: Yonder huntsman means to harm you! SNOW WHITE: What?! (Laughs.) Oh, I am sure you are mistaken. I have known him since I was very young. He is a good and kind man. LITTLE BIRD: Listen to me, Snow White! I speak the truth. The word has traveled through the forest, carried on the wings of my brothers and sisters. He intends to kill you!! (SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD 10

FREEZE. LIGHTS SHIFT to SPOTLIGHT on the HUNTSMAN, who is now walking ON LEFT.)

HUNTSMAN: (Carries bow and arrow and handkerchief box, obviously very troubled by the task awaiting him.) What should I do? ANGEL: What should you do?! Shame on you!! Why, let her go, of course! HUNTSMAN: Who are you? DEVIL: What should I do?! I can’t believe you’re hesitating! HUNTSMAN: Who are you? ANGEL: (To DEVIL.) Hey! Who invited you here? Butt out! (To HUNTSMAN.) I’m your good conscience. And I’m here to remind you that no matter what, you must choose the good path. She’s a beautiful, good and gentle10 child. You must let her go. HUNTSMAN: See! That’s what I was thinking! DEVIL: Don’t listen to him! He’s obviously forgotten that the queen said she would have you killed if you failed to carry out this task. HUNTSMAN: That is something to consider, too! ANGEL: But you’ve known Snow White since she was a child. She’s done the queen no wrong and harmed no one. HUNTSMAN: That’s a good point. DEVIL: But you’re gonna die if you don’t kill her! HUNTSMAN: That’s a good point, too! ANGEL: Before you choose a path, better stop and think. DEVIL: I recommend you kill the girl and save your neck. HUNTSMAN: But if I kill her I will lose my self-respect. DEVIL: You should take the low way. ANGEL: I would take the high way. ANGEL: You can choose the right way! DEVIL: Or my way! HUNTSMAN: How will I know which way to turn? Please show me which way to go! What should I do? What will I learn? I’ve reached the point of no return, The point of no return! 11

DEVIL: The time has come for you make up your mind. ANGEL/DEVIL: So what’s it gonna be? ANGEL: The right way? DEVIL: Or my way? HUNTSMAN: But you’re not the one to pay the price! Look… I’d like to live another day, and no matter what, at least I’ll be able to say… I did it my way!

He walks back to snow white.

SNOW WHITE: (Sees him approach and drops to her knees.) Oh, please, dear Huntsman, let me live. I will run into the wild woods and never come back. HUNTSMAN: (Helps her to her feet.) Forgive me, little princess! Save yourself. The evil queen hates you and wants you dead! Run away, you poor child. (SNOW WHITE and LITTLE BIRD run off) DEVIL: Now what are you going to do? What are you going to tell the queen? HUNTSMAN: I’ll lie. Even you can’t have a problem with that. DEVIL: But how will you prove it? She asked for proof, remember? Delivered in her box. HUNTSMAN: (Thinks for a minute.) I shall kill a wild animal in her place, perhaps a wild pig. ANGEL: Or you could go to the local farmers market. HUNTSMAN: That too!

They all exit

Scene Five

The forest is dark and spooky. There are animals hiding all around. SNOW WHITE runs on and comes to the first group of ANIMALS, who jump up. SNOW WHITE calls out “help me” and the ANIMALS return those words in a sighing echo—“heeelllp mmmeee.” She continues to run from place to place on stage, always encountering either a face or a tree grabbing at her, etc. SOUND EFFECT: “RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, SAVE YOURSELF, SAVE YOURSELF” is whispered from OFFSTAGE or over the sound system. This scenario will continue until finally SNOW 12

WHITE falls to the ground sobbing. Lights come up and the ANIMALS come out and gather around her. Slowly SNOW WHITE lifts her head and looks around.

ROONIE RABBIT: Do not be afraid, Snow White. DONNIE DEER: We know who you are and of your plight. SNOW WHITE: But how do you know? BILLY BUNNY: Our friends the birds brought us your story. SNOW WHITE: Then they will have told you I have nowhere to go. I’m so frightened and all alone, and I don’t know what to do. BILLY BUNNIE: We will help you, Snow White! CHIMMY CHIPMUNK: There is nothing to fear. DONNIE DEER: We will guide your steps… ALL ANIMALS: …to a safe place. (They point to a small image of a house in the distance.)

Scene Six

Inside the SEVEN DWARVES’ house. The house is set with a bed and seven small pillows, a table with seven chairs and a few lamps or lanterns. SNOW WHITE ENTERS.

SNOW WHITE: Oh, my goodness! Look at this cute little house! Everything is so little… really, really little. And look at this table! Seven little chairs, seven little plates and spoons. This bed looks so comfortable. Perhaps I could just sit down on it and rest while waiting for the people who live here to come home.

SONG: WORKER DWARVES

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! All good workers everywhere, they gonna go to heaven. Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! We work real hard from dawn till dusk until the task is done!

Get up in the morning before the break of day. Head into the mountains, dancin’ all the way All the day we’re workin’. Come home late at night. Workin’, workin’, workin’, till the sun is out of sight. 13

We are the seven dwarves! ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike!

ALL: (Chant.) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! All good workers everywhere, they gonna go to heaven. Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! We work real hard from dawn till dusk until the task is done!

ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike! ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike!

They enter back into their house

ZIP: What’s going on here? KIP: Something’s definitely going on here. TIP: Who has been sitting in my chair? PIP: Who has been eating from my plate? FLIP: Who has been eating my bread? CHIP: Who has been eating my vegetables? BIG MIKE: Holy cow! What is that? (SNOW WHITE makes 14 a noise and rolls over but continues to sleep.) PIP: It’s an animal! FLIP: Quick hide! CHIP: Aaaaahhhhhh! BIG MIKE: Let’s sneak up on it and attack it! ZIP: Let’s not and say we did. KIP: Oh, for heaven’s sake! Let’s get a grip. We don’t even know what we’re dealing with here. FLIP: Well, what do you suggest? PIP: should we sneak up and have a look? CHIP: Yes—I think you should. BIG MIKE: If one goes, we’re all going together. ZIP: Do we have to? KIP: C’mon, let’s go. Be ready. Slowly… slowly… TIP: Good heavens! FLIP: Where did she come from? KIP: Should we wake her up? CHIP: No, let her sleep. We’ll find out her story in the morning.

The dwarves go to sleep around Snow White

MOTHER: (Continues to read.) “When Snow White woke up, the dwarves asked her who she was and how she had found her way to their house. She told them how her stepmother had tried to kill her, how the huntsman had spared her life and how she had run the entire day, finally coming to their house. The dwarves liked her and invited her to stay.” PEGGY SUE: Ohhh, wasn’t that sweet? JOSH: Oh, brother. MOTHER: (Reads.) “Now the queen believed that the huntsman had brought her the lungs and liver of Snow White. The queen didn’t know the huntsman had bought the liver and lungs at the farmer’s market, and she could only think that she was again the first and most beautiful woman of all…”

QUEEN: Ladies, ladies, your attention, please. ALL LADIES: Yes, your majesty. QUEEN: Anything you wanted to say to me today? Hmmm?? (the ladies look confused) 15

MEREDITH: Why, yes, your majesty. Ladies, are you ready? Ahem! A limerick for your enjoyment. MARTHA: There once was a queen so exquisite… MARY: That people from afar came to visit… MOLLY: Just to behold… MAUREEN: …looks fairer than gold. JUDY: Not a bad poem, now is it? (ALL LADIES and QUEEN laugh.) QUEEN: (Turns to MIRROR.) Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who in this land is fairest of all? MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair, it’s true, But Snow White, beyond the mountains with the seven dwarves, Is still a thousand times fairer than you. QUEEN: (Shrieks.) No!! That cannot be!

Scene Seven

MOTHER: (Puts down the book.) And now I think… JOSH: Mom, what are you doing?! PEGGY SUE: You can’t stop now! JOSH: C’mon, Mom! It’s just getting good. PEGGY SUE: Please! Read on. MOTHER: I will. I just thought it would be nice to stop for a snack. KIDS: NO! MOTHER: No snack? All right, I’ll keep reading. “When the evil queen heard that Snow White was alive and well and living with the dwarves, she thought and thought again about how she could kill her…” JOSH: Isn’t that against the law? MOTHER: What’s against the law? JOSH: Killing someone. Isn’t that against the law? PEGGY SUE: Of course, it is! Now- MOTHER: Do you two want me to keep reading? (KIDS nod yes.) Then no more interruptions. (Reads.) “In the meantime, the word about Snow White’s arrival was starting to fly around the local dwarf village.” 16

SONG: HAVE YA’ HEAR’D?

ALL: Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round, got me stayin’ wide awake, And all I can do is lie in bed and shake. Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight!

GROUP 1: Have ya heard? GROUP 2: Heard what? GROUP 3: ’Bout the girl? GROUP 2: What girl? GROUP 1: There’s a girl. GROUP 4: What girl? GROUP 3: A tall girl! GROUP 2: Oh, my! GROUP 4: What about her? GROUP 3: She’s tall. GROUP 2: We all know that! ALL: Good golly, Miss Molly, I think I smell a rat! GROUP 1: Now, the seven. GROUP 2: The seven? GROUP 4: The seven in the woods? GROUP 1: Yep. GROUP 3: What about the seven? GROUP 1: The girl. GROUP 2: The girl? (Sings.) We’re talkin’ ‘bout the seven! GROUP 4: (Sings.) What about the seven? GROUP 1: Rama lama ding dong, she’s livin’ with the seven!

ALL: (Sing to AUDIENCE.) Have ya heard? Have ya heard, the word on the street? This poor little town’s really takin’ some heat. There’s a rumor goin’ ’round that’s been givin’ me a fright, And all I can do is lie and pray for daylight. Wop bop a loo bop, I’m lockin’ all the doors tonight! 17

ROCK: But don’t they realize they must be in danger? PEBBLE: She must have enchanted them! STONE: What shall we do? PEBBLE: Our village is not safe! BRICK: (Sees SNOW WHITE approaching) Look out! Here she comes! STONE: Quick, hide yourselves! PEBBLE: Hide the children! (ALL the VILLAGERS try to hide themselves or their faces.) SNOW WHITE: Excuse me. ROCK: Oh, can I help you, miss? SNOW WHITE: Could you show me the way to the market? HEAD VILLAGER: Surely, miss. Down the road and left at the general store. SNOW WHITE: Thank you, kind person! STONE: She seems nice. BRICK: Guess so!

Scene Eight / song

In the Queen’s workroom

QUEEN: (Speaks.) I must think of a way to get rid of Snow White. I simply must be the most beautiful woman in the entire land. But how? Ah-hah! I have it. No girl can resist beautiful clothes. Well, I shall present her with such that she cannot resist! (An evil laugh.) One quick pull on the corset ribbons to cut off her breath, and it’s “Sayonara, Snow White!” Hah! But first, to disguise myself. Hmmm, the right spell is needed. (Flips pages in a big spell book. Begins to mix ingredients.) Let’s see…

(Sings.) A pinch of this, a pinch of that, An ear of dog, a toe of bat, A squishy bug from where I sat. Mix ’em all together! (Turning another page, speaks.) Hmmm, let’s see what else this recipe calls for. (Sings.) A pinch of this, a pinch of that, A spider leg, a tail of rat, 18

A hairball from an old black cat, Mix ’em all together! (Stirring the mixture, speaks.) Awww, it’s lookin’ good. (Sticks her fi nger in the concoction and takes a taste.) Tastes good, too!

QUEEN: That should do it. (Takes a big gulp and starts choking. Falls to knees behind the big workbench.)

RIBBON PEDDLER: (After a short pause, comes up gasping for air.) Ha ha ha! She’ll never recognize me as an old peddler woman! And now to finish the task… (Grabs the basket with the corset [scarf] and ribbons and exits)

Scene Nine

VILLAGERS enter and begin milling about doing their little dwarf village things again. Several ANIMALS, TREES and FLOWERS are scattered around the stage. SNOW WHITE and SEVEN DWARVES enter

SNOW WHITE: All right! I hear you, but I’ll be fine! Really, I will. ZIP: I know you think that, but you don’t know how crafty she can be! KIP: We only say this for your own protection. TIP: And we ask this of our friends in the village, as well. PIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Please watch out for Snow White. FLIP: (To VILLAGERS.) Keep a sharp eye out for the evil queen, coming to do Snow White harm! ALL VILLAGERS: We will. CHIP: (Speaks.) Well then, we’re off to work!

SONG - Seven Dwarves Reprise

SEVEN DWARVES: (Sing.) Get up in the morning, before the break of day. Head into the mountains, dancin’ all the way. All the day we’re workin’. Come home late at night. Workin’, workin’, workin’ till the sun is out of sight. We are the seven dwarves! ZIP: (Sings.) I’m Zip! KIP: (Sings.) I’m Kip! 19

TIP: (Sings.) I’m Tip! PIP: (Sings.) I’m Pip! FLIP: (Sings.) I’m Flip! CHIP: (Sings.) I’m Chip! BIG MIKE: (Sings.) My name is Big Mike!

ALL: (Speak.) And together we are the seven dwarves. ZIP: (Speaks.) See— KIP: (Speaks.) —you— TIP: (Speaks.) —real— PIP: (Speaks.) —soon! FLIP: (Speaks.) Have— CHIP: (Speaks.) —a— BIG MIKE: (Speaks.) —great day!!

They exit. A Ribbon Peddler enters.

RIBBON PEDDLER: Pretty things! Pretty things! Pretty things for pretty girls. (Pretends to bump into SNOW WHITE, who’s been shopping around the stage.) Why, my child! Would you like to look at my pretty things? (Shows her the corset. [This can be a long, wide scarf with ribbons and fl owers sewn on.]) The lovely flowers on the strings of this corset seem just the right thing for your skin. Would you like to try it on? SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, but I simply couldn’t. RIBBON PEDDLER: Oh, why not? Just for fun? It won’t kill you. (As an aside to the AUDIENCE.) That’s what she thinks. Ha ha. SNOW WHITE: It is awfully pretty. Maybe just for a minute. RIBBON PEDDLER: (Helps wrap the scarf around SNOW WHITE.) There, see for yourself. Look into my mirror and see how lovely you are. (Starts to pull the scarf very tight.) SNOW WHITE: Oh, it’s lovely! But, oh, why do I suddenly feel so faint? I can’t breathe. I… can’t… (To RIBBON PEDDLER.) Help… me… (Falls to the ground.) RIBBON PEDDLER: Ha ha! I have won! (EXITS LEFT while VILLAGERS gather around SNOW WHITE.) ROCK: Oh, look at Snow White! STONE: What has happened?! PEBBLE: (To the ANIMALS.) Quick, go fetch the seven! Tell them 20 there is trouble for Snow White! BRICK: She’s barely breathing. (DWARVES come running ON UP LEFT.) ZIP: What is it? KIP: Trouble with Snow White? TIP: Oh, dear! Is she dead? PIP: She’s barely breathing! FLIP: Quick! Loosen this corset! Untie the ribbons! CHIP: I can’t. It’s as if it won’t let go!! BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! Evil magic from the queen, no doubt. ZIP: Let’s cut the strings instead! (Mimes cutting and the scarf is loosened and comes off. SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? KIP: You have fallen victim to the evil queen. VILLAGER 5: We didn’t see her, only an old peddler woman. TIP: That was her, no doubt, in disguise. PIP: Thank goodness we arrived in time!

Scene Ten

In the Queen’s workroom

MIRROR: You didn’t expect to get away with it that easily, did you? QUEEN: Yes! Well, no. Well, oh, I don’t know! She fell for it easily enough. How was I to know those meddling dwarves would know how to remove the spell? MIRROR: Corset ribbons are so obvious! She wasn’t breathing. Of course they were going to loosen them. QUEEN: Hey! Don’t get smart with me, Mirror, or I’ll break you into a thousand pieces! MIRROR: That’s seven years bad luck, you know. I’m just trying to help! QUEEN: Well then, be helpful. MIRROR: Hey! How about those poison combs you used a while back? They worked pretty well. QUEEN: Yes! Yes, the combs! Wonderful. Oh, I’m so smart. (Brings up the basket of combs.) MIRROR: You’re so smart? I’m the one… (Trails off as QUEEN glares at them.) 21

QUEEN: No girl can resist brushing her hair with a lovely comb. I shall present her with such that she cannot resist, and that will be the end of our pretty little Snow White! Hah! Let me just adjust my potion… (she adds three more ingredients to the potion) That should do it. (Takes a big gulp and starts choking. Falls to knees behind the big workbench.)

COMB PEDDLER: (Comes up gasping for air, young and pretty.) Ha ha ha! She’ll never recognize me. They’ll all be expecting an old peddler woman! Now to finish the task. (Grabs the basket of combs and EXITS LEFT, laughing.)

Scene Eleven

SNOW WHITE: All right! I hear you, but I’ll be fine! Really, I will. ZIP: I know you think that, but look what happened last time! KIP: You’ll recognize her again, if she comes back, won’t you? SNOW WHITE: Yes, of course. TIP: How about the rest of you? Will you watch out for that old peddler woman? ALL VILLAGERS: Yes, we’ll watch. BIG MIKE: Well then, we’re off to work!

They exit and the Comb Peddler enters

COMB PEDDLER: (ENTERS LEFT, carrying basket full of combs.) Pretty combs! Pretty combs! Pretty ribbons for pretty hair. (Pretends to bump into SNOW WHITE.) Why, hello! What’s your name? Ahhh! Look at your lovely hair. Would you like to look at my pretty combs? Your hair is so lovely. May I brush it for you? SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, but I simply couldn’t. COMB PEDDLER: Oh, why not? Just for fun? Here, let me help you. SNOW WHITE: Well, they are awfully pretty. (To AUDIENCE.) And this isn’t the same peddler woman as the last time, so I’m sure it’s all right. (To COMB PEDDLER.) Oh, okay, if just for a minute! COMB PEDDLER: (Sits SNOW WHITE down and starts to comb her hair. SNOW WHITE immediately faints and falls to the ground.) Ha ha! That will keep you lying there! (EXITS UP LEFT while VILLAGERS gather around SNOW WHITE.) 22

VILLAGER 5: Oh, look at Snow White! STONE: What has happened?! BRICK: Quick, go fetch the seven! Tell them there is trouble for Snow White! VILLAGER 6: She’s so pale. (DWARVES and more ANIMALS come running UP LEFT.) ZIP: What is it? KIP: Trouble with Snow White? TIP: (Rushes to SNOW WHITE’S side.) Oh, dear! Is she dead? PIP: She’s so still! FLIP: What has happened to her? CHIP: Look at her hair. Where did that comb come from? (They take the comb from her hair, and SNOW WHITE sits up breathing.) SNOW WHITE: Oh, what has happened? BIG MIKE: Ah-hah! It must have been the queen who tried to kill you. SNOW WHITE: But I didn’t see her! You told me to watch for an old peddler woman. This woman was young and pretty. BRICK: Well, next time don’t talk to any peddler women at all! ROCK: (To DWARVES.) Thank goodness you were in time!

Scene Twelve

QUEEN in her workroom

QUEEN: Well, Mirror? What say you now? MIRROR: You, my queen, are fair—it is true. But little Snow White with the seven dwarves Is a thousand times fairer than you. QUEEN: No way!! That cannot be true!! Aaarrrggghhh! Snow White will die if it costs me my life! (Pulls out a little apple.) With this little apple, Snow White will meet her end! (Scoops some “liquid” from the kettle and takes a drink. Falls to her knees behind the big workbench. After a beat, FRUIT PEDDLER comes up gasping for air.) FRUIT PEDDLER: Ha ha ha! She’ll never recognize me as a man!! (Grabs a fruit cart, loads up the large APPLE and rushes OFF LEFT. LIGHTS DIM and the MICE ENTER UP RIGHT and perform a little dance with their time signs to mark the passage of time—two hours, four hours, six hours, etc. LIGHTS COME UP again as FRUIT PEDDLER runs back ON LEFT.) Mirror! Quickly! Wake up!! 23

MIRROR: (Wakes.) What now?! FRUIT PEDDLER: It went like a charm! At first she was afraid to take a bite! But then I said, “If you are afraid, then I will cut the apple in two and eat half of it. Here, you eat the half with the beautiful red cheek!” Now, the apple had been so artfully made that only the red half was poisoned. When Snow White saw me eating my half she figured it must be safe! She barely had the bite in her mouth when she fell to the ground dead. What do you say to that?!! MIRROR: You, my queen, are now fairest of all. FRUIT PEDDLER: (Laughs in triumph.) Yes!

Scene Thirteen

LIGHTS UP: On bare stage with coffin display. SNOW WHITE is in the glass coffin along with an oversized apple core, which is concealed at the moment. DWARVES and ANIMALS are gathered around.

BIG MIKE: She’s still so beautiful. KIP: I can’t believe she’s dead. TIP: I keep hoping someday… somehow… PIP: Maybe the magic can be undone? FLIP: Ah! Look yonder—someone approaches! CHIP: Why, it’s the prince and his men! ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: What is this? Why do you mourn, my good forrest folk? CHIP: We have lost our fair Snow White. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: The beauty in the case of glass? Yes! I’ve heard of her. May I see her? BIG MIKE: Yes. Let the prince approach. (ANIMALS and DWARVES back away and allow him to see SNOW WHITE.) ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (Gasps.) I have never seen such beauty! Even in death. Please, let me bring her to my castle. I will build a shrine and protect her always. I will give you all the gold you want. ZIP: Take our Snow White?! PIP: Well, I don’t know. TIP: We couldn’t part with her for all the gold in the world. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Please, I will honor her and respect her as my most cherished one. 24

FLIP: Really? CHIP: Let’s huddle! (DWARVES huddle up.) BIG MIKE: Okay, Prince. We agree, but only if we can accompany you. ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Yes, of course. Will you help me get the coffin—and lift it with care. PERSON 1: Watch out!! (SNOW WHITE jerks her body as if the coffin has been dropped and starts to cough. She sits up. ALL gasp.) ZIP: Snow White! Snow White is alive! KIP: But how?! TIP: She has coughed up this chunk of apple. (Reaches into the coffin and lifts out a very large apple core and shows it to the AUDIENCE.) PIP: Snow White, are you all right?! SNOW WHITE: Yes, I think so. I feel like I’ve been sleeping. Where am I? I remember talking to a fruit peddler and taking a bite of a juicy red apple, but it got stuck in my throat and then nothing… PERSON 1: It must have been when we dropped the coffin. PERSON 2: It dislodged the apple from her throat. PERSON 3: Bringing her back to us! SNOW WHITE: Good heavens, where am I? ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: (Flies to her side.) You are with me. I am the prince of this land. I love you more than anything else in the world. Please do me the honor of coming with me to my father’s castle. You shall become my wife. SNOW WHITE: Oh, my goodness! This is all so sudden… (Trying to make up her mind, she looks at the DWARVES, who smile, then the ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE and his MEN, who smile, then back to the DWARVES and back to the PRINCE.) how about let’s date first? ALL: Hooray!

CHANT:

ALL: Come on and celebrate, celebrate! Come on and celebrate, celebrate! ALL: Come on and celebrate, celebrate! Come on and celebrate, celebrate! ALL: CEL-E-BRATE! 25

The ladies in Waiting drag on the Evil Queen

MAUREEN: Look who we found! ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Grab that evil woman and put her in chains! (PRINCE’S MEN grab the QUEEN.) PERSON 1: For attempting to hurt this child with your evil magic— PERSON 2: —you will be made to suffer at the hands of your own evil magic! ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: Bring forth the magic chains! (PRINCE’S MEN bring forth the chains and show them to everyone.) PERSON 3: These enchanted chains will cause you to dance forever! PERSON 1: And you will regret the day you used your magic for evil! (MEN fasten chains to QUEEN’S wrists and ankles.) ROMANTIC HERO PRINCE: You will never hurt anyone ever again! QUEEN: (The chains start to work their magic, and the QUEEN starts to dance.) No! MERIDITH: Ladies and gentlemen, a final limerick. MARTHA: There once was a queen so pale, MARY: As the soldiers took her off to jail, MOLLY: We were happy to say… MAUREEN: …good-bye and good day. JUDY: And I don’t think she’ll ever make bail! ALL LADIES: (To QUEEN.) Bye-bye! (PRINCE’S PEOPLE take QUEEN OFF as she dances, EVERYONE FREEZES. MOTHER and KIDS step DOWNSTAGE. The KIDS sit at her feet.)

MOTHER: (Finishes the story.) And they all lived… KIDS: …happily ever after!

ENSEMBLE UNFREEZES

SONG: Rock’n Snow White Reprise

ALL: (Sings.) We got a tale, a magical, marvelous, song-filled serenade. We got a tale, a fun-packed escapade. Yes, we’re gonna wail, singin’ and a shoutin’ and a dancin’ till my 26 feet both fail. Yes, it’s Snow White’s, hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! GIRLS: (PRINCE steps forward and shows off muscles. Sing.) We got a prince, a muscle-bound, handsome, buff and studly macho guy! GUYS: (SNOW WHITE steps forward, smiles and curtseys to AUDIENCE. Sing.) We got a girl, a sugar and spice and-a everything nice little cutie pie! ALL: (QUEEN steps forward and gives the audience the evil eye. Sing.) We got a queen, an evil-eyed, funkifi ed, lean and mean total wicked machine! DWARVES: (Step forward. Sing.) And we got dwarves, feisty little dwarves. The rockinest you’ve ever seen! ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery. We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic over hill and dale. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! We got a tale, a dark and perilous, nailbitin’ mystery. We got a tale, a fairytale fricassee. Stompin’ the trail, we’ll be boppin’ till we’re droppin’ as we frolic over hill and dale. Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale! Yes, it’s Snow White’s hip-hop, doo-wop, be-bop, funky little rockin’ tale!