The uaker A high school tradition for years. Volume 91, Number 5 Salem Senior High School January 2004 Salem man becomes hero 2004 Winter Sweetheart Court that's not how it looks on TV," says By Allison Boron Clunen. By Sean Morrissey Entertainment editor Despite popular beliefs, the Editor-in-Chief country isn't quite third-world status n D. ecem.ber. 8, either. Clunen explains that Iraqis 0 2003, ninteen carry cell phones, drive cars (but still year old own donkeys with carts as transpor Randall Clunen of Salem was hit tation), and watch TV broadcasts from by the blast of an exploding car, Syria. The Iraqi culture is, however, embedding shrapnel in his face. extremely different than that of the Clunen,amemberofthe lOl"Air United States; For example, suicide borne, was. serving as a guard bombing is seen as a noble task and when a car packed with 1,000 comes with a government pay-off to pounds of explosives drove up to the family of the bomber. Clunen says a gate he was guarding. He suf that· some Iraqis do respond hostily fered broken bones along with to Americans, but "it just depends on sb:rapnel wounds to how they were his face, neck, and brought up." Iraqi chil shoulders as a result dren see American sol of the suicide bomb diers as rich and often ing. He says that he will be seen running to doesn't remember ward the troops look ··LaurenRebecca Brobeck much about the Inci ing for money. dent other than hitting Inspired by will be escorted byNate Mullen. the ground. The explo his family's active mili Iler f\ltµre:pJ!llls incl\lde attending s~on also seriously tary involvement, i;ollegetom~i · inpre~~qkine. wounded three ..others Clunen joined the in and injured sixtycone fantry to "see what it *~i~ sgl~s. ~.: a&like,''·oot-sure·if he · Clun1,1n.was would make it his ca- flownto Germany and then to Walter Reed Before he Army Medical Center~~------' was wounded by the · in Washington, D.C., to receive suicide bombing, Clunen was also treatment for his injuries. In Wash- treated for appendicitis in a "field hos Jillian Dana Barry·· Jennifer Ann Huzyak ington, he and his family were vis- pital." will be escorted by Brian wiH be escorted by Sean ited by President George W. Bush Clunen says that he has Schwartz. Morrissey and.first lady Laura Bush. As pho- been in contact with his unit and com Her future plans include attending· Her future plans include attending. tographs were set up between the mander through the internet. He has college to double rnajor in English the Pennsylvania Culinary president an(,i Clunen, Bush sug- twenty months left on his tour of duty literature and political science. Institute. gestedthat Clunen's two younger but is unsure whether he will return to brothers join the picture "with a the army once.he recovers. If his tour hero; not [Bush], your brother," is over, he would like to. attend culi the Salem News reported. nary school. Clunen was awarded a Lindsey Catherine Englert · In an interview with this Purple _Heart and six coins, pne of will be escorted by Jarrod reporter, Clunen shared pictures which i~ the Presidential coin, the Neiderhis~r;.ij:erfoture plans that he brought back from his time highest coin in the. military. , include atte)lqil)g Ohio University in Iraq. They show a contrast to . The Salem AMVETS re to major in physical therapy. the images of the country seen on cently held a benefit for the family's the news. Although there is much traveling. expenses which were not desert area, the country also con- covered by the government. At press tains lush, green grass and beau- time there was no funoraising total to tiful ancient architecture. "But report. " . Inside this month's Quaker~-~-.
New look for hand Tribute hands on the rise l1X)ITI page6 Molly Ann BautntµJ Elizabeth Anne Jesko page"2 will be escorted by Christopher will be escorted by Zach Bennett. Price. Her future plans include attending Continued success Her future plans include attending college to major in business law. A look back at for Lady Quakers Coastal Carolina University to major in nutritional promotion and 2003 page 7 · middle school education. Renee Nicole Farina pages will be escorted by Bruce Moffett. Her future plans include attending Cotter hits 1,000 West Liberty State to play Poet's Comer with page 7 basketball and major in education. TomLeguard page 5 -· News Band room gets a face lift Keep in touch with Mpney in medicine your dreams The presenters then gave and could use a little renovation. By Amanda Jones some facts about the jobsth~y per By Carla Gbur The walls were then painted bright Staff writer form. Some of the information which Opinion editor blue, new carpet was laid, and new By Lauren Arnold they included were about salary, acoustics were added. This lasted Staff writer On Thursday, ,January 8 holidays, and· what has to be done If you have ventured down through band camp, marching sea- . representatives from Mercy Medi to get the job. To be an RN (regis past the gym and past the audito son, and most of concert season. cal Center presented an informative tered nurse) there are multiple pro rium you will find two very uncon Shortly before winter break the band Salem junior Sarni Gano session at Salem High School. They grams from which to choose. There ventional classrooms. One is for the was kicked out of the band room for was recently named as the winner wanted to inform students about is a ten month program such as choir, and the the start of the of the 2004 Annual Scholastic Art the rising need in the, medical fieid. Hannah Mullins, there is a two year other is the renovations. Yet Award Exhibition. She won over. Jeff Schiavone was one ,presen~er associate program, a three year cer~ bandroom. The' again the walls many other entries, and"her paint from "Learning for Life." He stated tificatepmgram that some hospitals band room has , were painted - ing will be posted on a Columbiana that the representatives came here · offer;· and there is the four year bach held the big white this time, County billboard for a two month to "reduce uncertainty." . . elor program. Wages for the tyRical gest classes in new acoustics period. The contest was presented Steve Baker, R.N., a nurs RN are somewhere in the range of this school for were put in for by the Scholastic company to in ing recruiter at Mercy Medical Cen $20 ~ 25 an. hour. These wages can as long as. any better sound, and spire visual artists. ter, was the first to speak. He began always be higher and the hospital one can re the lights were re When asked what her in the session by telling. everyone:; a · may eve·n offer a signing bonus. member, and placed too. Now spiration was for this particular little bit about There is always with bigger when students painting, Gano said that it was all himself. He felt the issue of work classes comes walk down the about dreams and goals. She was proud enough shifts with RNs. more horse hall it's like going inspired by a poster of two hands to say that he Mercy offers a play. There are to a light at the holding a clus.ter of stars that is graduated with wide variety of just too many kids and they can't end of a tunnel; it's extremely white hanging in Mrs. Dye's room.· It reads, a 2.2 GPA and shifts. There are be babysat all the time. This causes and clean. "Keep in touch with your dreams." then went on to four, eight, destruction in the band room and The big question is "How Sarni took a slightly different ap college. While twelve hour, goes to show how much some kids long is this going to last?" This is proach and has hands holding a in college he straight days or value their education. something the band room has bright light in a far off galaxy of stars began working nights, swing, Entering the band room in needed for a long time, and hope - her own interpretation of dreams at Mercy for part time, full the summer during band camp one fully it will stay somewhat white and and aspirations. the money. time, and week could see it was a little disheveled cleanfor a while. Sarni will also be receiving While there he end shifts from a Gold Key at the Scholastic art com found out that which to choose. petition according to visual arts he loved what Ifworking week·' Sailing into spring teacher, Miss Yereb. For those who he was doing. After graduating from ends, it consists of twelve hour days are not familiar with Scholastic, the · college with a bachelor's degree in on· both Saturday and Sunday. for his children. One of the two boats company holds several competi business he went back for an asso · To become a dietician it By Kathryn Baranovich built this year will be raffled. The tions every year to encourage both ciate degree in social scienc~s. He · takes. four years to complete the pro Staff writer sailboat is fully functional, and it visual and language arts. Sarni is explained that he may .not bave gram.• Some. holidays are required, also comes with thetrailer. The cost proud _of her work, but said· that "I be.e11.· ~he .btjghtest. ~t~it,1.t, ,bu~, he as 'in ttiost medibal fields. ,-a,ecom "Sailing into spring on a for each ticket will be· three dollars. wasn't expecting to win atatl. was ~ determine~ persol).an~ t_hatis mendations fot'this~11re all science sea of food" is the theme for the This may seem expensive, but one wha,t has brpught h,io:i: s,o Jar, , , and,math classes.possible, .a speech ongoing food drive sponsored by needs to take into consideration that A~mpanyiµg.l;Jak:er wlis course1•and:volunteer work or shad" the woods classes. The campaign all money made on tickets will be his associate Julie Finney. Sh~ is a owing: No other details were given will run though February 29, 2004. used to buy more food to be do dietician at Mercy Medical center. at the presentation. The drop offlocation is on the win nated. An incomplete boat was also As Steve· did, she told everyone a This field is in high de dow side of the cafeteria. The goal · placed in the .cafeteria for everyone little bit of her background. When mand. Right now there is a 200,000 is to collect at least 10,000 cans of to see .the beginning stages of this she graduated from high school she nurse shortage· alone; Many more food, and the drive is well on its way. project. The unfinished boat also had three c4oices for her college medical workers are needed in all There are currently at least 2000 helps to demonstrate that the sail schooling. These were to become fields.To log onto Mercy's webpage cans in the cafeteria which came from boats were not built from a kit. either a teacher, a nurse, or a dieti go to www.thequalityhospital.com donations during the Christmas sea This project is intended to cian (at that time she was q.ot really to get more information. To learn <;on. These donations came from benefit the community, and au do sure what a dietician was). She ,more information on nursing you English, office education, science, nations will be given to local food choose the one that she felt best fit can log onto www.mercynurse.com. math, and foreign language classes banks and eventually to local fami her. She has had this career now for as well as a variety of individuals. lies. The success of this project twenty-six years. Mr. Peters stated, "We _thank you hinges not only on student involve for this great start and hope to build ment butinvolvement from the com upon this foundation." munity as well. Mr. Peters makes an December cults revisited~ an explanation Currently there are two excellent point when he stittes, ' . boats in the cafeteria that the woods "This project is by our community tarian, charismatic leaaerJ. On lhe . sp~nd illl their time looking at the ·classes· built and one that Mr. Pe for our community. Help this food By Tom Leguard ters constructed from scrap wood web page there· is ariother ·defmitfon ~bstract practices and customs of collection "sail to success."' Staff writer which states: 2 a system or c'ommu- ·the, reHgion instead of focusing on The Quaker Proposal on nity ofreligious worship arid'ntual. the big message. Quaker Calendar As you may or may not be If you do not trust the internet then · ' . · So whoever \Vas Student Expression aware, in the last edition of The you may find a defiriitio'n cfo&e \to' i in. charge of putting these writings We the staff of The Quaker I published an article on ·this in our .own library here at SHS. ; down hundreds of years ago - February Quaker, hereby'acknowledge our cults. In the article I referred to the In Websters Dictionary and The- whether you believe it to be 2004-05 Scheduling responsibility to provide informa Mormon religion as a cult. Some saurus, copyright 1997, the defini~ · Ml:lhaniniad, Hindu, Jesus Christ, tive and entertaining reading per students here took offense to that tion listed is a group or system of Joe Smith, or even some monkeys taining to the students, staff, and and took it as an attack on their reli religious worship. Bythese defini- scratching on tree bark - they all parents of Salem Senior High gion. I am sorry, and I did not mean tions in credible s9urces, a~y reli- basically say the same things .. Live School.· to single out Mormo,ns as a cult. gion may be considered a cµl~. a good lif~; 4';>n't be immoral; and To make The Quaker a In actuality an religjons are Mormons may be consid- treat people how you would want Februrary13 credible newspaper we will aim for cults. Oops - I did it again; I used ered a cult by some people, but does be treated. All of these beliefs the No School · accuracy and objectivity; with:the that .loaded word .cult.' If people that make them bad people? .No, it different religions share., Perhaps if truth being our ultimate goal. It is would just look up the word at does not. Some, people consider people would dwellon these things also our duty to make prompt cor- Dictionary.com, copy write 2004, -Hinduism, Judaism, and even the.·. ·.instead of focusing on. the minor Febr'ullO' 16 .. rections when necessary. However, they would. find the definition, I big· one ".Christianity'.' :a cult. So· aspects .. of religions. and customs, President's Day - No school we must also respect the rights of printed in the last edition of the pa· does that make all of those people we could save ourselves _massive other while we gather and present per (1, a: a religion or religious sect bad? No; itdoes nat. There are far amounts. of trouble and possibly · news.· · generally considered to be extrem too many variations' of religions for even lives.. Well, gee whiz, we ri'light The Quaker staff encour ist or false, with its followers often one to be exactly right ,or exactly even find a ·way to solve that woµ• ages input from our readers inthe living in an unconventional manner·· wrong. People puy too much into derful mess in that far off land - the form of stories, essays, letters, etc.. under the guidance of all authori- labels placed on religions. . They .. Middle East. Page2 The Quaker Janwuy 2004 .. 0 PIDl()D These shows are Absolutely Point/Counterpoint Fabulous but..~ This month: Is NASA still needed? War of is necessary, many in England do By Lauren Arnold By Devon Mcilvaine What would the world be not want to be censored. In a recent Staff writer Feature editor like if young, enterprising Christo Words study an overwhelming 82% of all pher Columbus had listened to the Okay, maybe I seem like the "Brits" wanted to make up their By Lauren Arnold scoffers who said it would be too biggest nerd EVER right \}ow, b\lt l miµds for themselves on what they Point When President Bush re Staff Writer .-costly and dangerous to cross that cannot get over how funny British should and should not watch, and cently announced that he planned big, scary ocean, to see what was sitcoms are! One key element jn their 98%. said that it wa8 their choice as to expand America's space program on the other side? We cannot be "What do you think hilarity is how open they are about tci·what their children should be in order to establish a moon base afraid to go to other uncharted ter was the biggest event in all issues ranging from ·family and viewing. and develop the technology to friends to sex. I also love how most . ' . So why are so many people someday send a man to Mars, many ritories, be it Mars or elsewhere, be 2003?" cause shows are committed t© showing here in America concerned. about people were furious. "Who does of possible dangers or a seem ingly. hig4 price, tag. real people, only in the most exag what we see' on television? Sex, this guy think he is spending bil The space program is no gerated forms of themselves; A few drugs;violence,language ... they are lions of dollars in Iraq and now bil exception to the rule that explora great illustrations of these programs all parts of everyday life. Isn't it all lions more on Mars?" they asked. I . tion brings innovation. Through are the series Are YouBeing.Served, about maturity? Maybe my parents can understand why people can'..t Keeping Up Appearances, andAl>-. felt' that I was ready to watch mov see the benefit of spending tax NASA's Apollo program, miniatur solutely Fabulous. · ies that had the infamous "F word" money on something so seemingly ization of electronics became pos sible-directly contributing to the Absolutely Fabulous (also in it or see a TV show that portrayed irrelevant to everyday life. But is advent of the internet. Happen known simply as "Ab Fab") had a a m.1rder before yours felt the same this program really so irrelevant? Ex stance ·discoveries like these alone brief stint as a popular show here in way. So what?, Everyone is going to ploration, whether it is on Earth or the U.S. several years ago, but let's see or hear the same things in life no beyond, has always been para are reason to continue this invalu-. review the premise of the program matter how offensive; it is just an mount to the development of the able program. Not only can human "When Lebron James made his de for those who blocked out the issue of when and how you are go human race. By exploring newtem ingenuity produce new tech~ology, but as an year old professional memories of American housewives ing to handle those things. Should tory our society.has expanded infi but newly discovered natural re 18 sources have the potential to revo basketball player." going mad for the story of the two it be the job of a TV exec or the gov nitely-we've tapped new re lutionize energy. The possibilities lushes from the U .K. Edina Mon ernment, or should it be your choice sources, developed new technolo are endless when resources are ap Kerri O'Donnell, 11 soon is a successful "business or your parents' choice? You can gies, and discovered whole new plied to such a worthwhile program. woman" who has done little to eam not be sheltered your whole life, and worlds. her money but knows how to spel).d despite howhard they try your par ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• it on anything trendy or pop:utar. She ents are going to have to let you be By Sean Morrissey isn't enough. We want the whole is the best friend to Patsy Stone, an · a part of the real world eventually. Editor-in-Chief solar system and beyond. This, all alcoholic anorexic who hasn't eaten part of Bush's new agenda; will re Are you going to be thrown into a Counterpoint since 1978. The messes these two · world of harsh realities, or are you quire NASA to scale back or scrap get into are like Lucy and Ethel on going to know what's ahead of you? NASA's at it again -we're all their existing plans that don't acid! I remember one particular epi For those of you who dis- back info "the unknown" after a support his new effort while fund sode that shocked me and made me . agree with me, I hate to end this ar break from last year's Columbia di ing them a billion dollars a year over. laugh at the same time. Patsy. and ticle on a sad note, but fot me just saster. This time around • Mars. Like the next five years. With a half-a Edina tried everything but rap,e .Oll make this poin'.t. lfyou were a parent the Pathfinder mission {1997), we're trillion-dollar deficit, manned mis two twenty-something men h1. 0td~ 'whowouid not let his clilldren wat<:h exploring an,d surveying the surface sions ~o Mar8 and lunar settlements torhave an orgy.;!and l was:just·sit again and taking pi_ctures of the Red aren'tworth bankrupting our coun "When Saddam Hussein got rilov'ies .lhaj Jnv;alye viqlenpe b,e caught." ting' there thinking; •"Can1they 1 do cause itfnight' tle 'tdo' traumatic or Planet, again. So why the sudden try. We can't afford an expa1.1ded this?" ·In fact, I'm sitting here now beeause 'it might influence them, just urge. to use 820 milli<>n dollars to public space program; it's just that . Greg Woolman, 9 typing and wondering, ·"Can I do think about this. Would you have search this barren planet?· I thought · simple. · · this?!" Is it okay to say "orgy" in a Ie.t that same child see the news cov we already found Saddam Hussein. I understand that NASA schOol newspaper? Would it be erage of the September eleventh at Ask George W. Bush; I'm sure he seeks to better understand the way more tasteful to say.. , tacks? September eleventh was re has some sort of witty reply (that our universe functions and it Arlyway, my point is this. ality, Air Force One is not. Life is involves a few made-up words). Re should be pursued at some point. Why can the British get away with not the president saving an entire member, thisis the man who's confi However, at this time which is more things we can't seem to here in plane from terrorists, right now; life dent there;s alien life out there and important - the "mysteries of the America? The BBC's website says is terrorists running planes into wants to search the universe for it. universe" or the other problems our that all programs need to reflect real buildings. Of, course, our neighbor )'Vorld isfacing? people's lives; if that means using . My point? Kids aren't stu language or realities that upset some pid; kids know reality from TV. So Compromising our future people, so be it. But the BBC is not what. if they hear Sharon Osborne is diverse. I guess it is sort of a totally reckless in their censorship By Thomas Leguard swear? Is it that big ofa deal? Vio repayment for raping and pillaging efforts. In the U .K. there is some Staff writer lence happens, cursing happens, sex ·their land. How about the rest of thing called the Watershed Policy. When you ask a high happe,ns! ! Fm. not saying parents thc>se who were just dumbfounded "When Britney Spears an<;! Ma This is a program that is designed should Iet-their·six year olds watch school student what the most stress and confused about the ancient cer- .· to help parents choose what is harm donna made out." porn, l just think kids need to be ful part of high school is, a large por emonies the test was making refer ful for their children to watch after . given a little more credit, and a little tion of them will tell youACT's. Why ence to. It may have made some rune o'clock pm; however, it is a!So Dusty Emch, 11 mor.e .t.rust that they won't shout do we get so stressed out for just one out there feel included, but by said. that programs aired befortl nine so.m.eqne just because they saw it one test? I mean sure it is one of the doing that the test just confused the are the most suitable fot children. . on televi~ion .. ~would they hijack a main things colleges look. for when majority. All the test succeeds in Even though this is what some thillk .. l\l.fle? deciding whether or not to accept doing by trying to be politically cor you into their fine establishment, but ' ' ' Th't Quaker rect and naming all of the people in . aren't. th.ere. better things to. worry the test Tamika, Shanda, and Lupe ~003-20()i.I .Staff about than some stupid test? instead of Tom, Dick and Harry is Principal "'·Mr. Scott Beatty · American's College Test is singling them out and making sure Editor-in-Chief - Sean Morrissey nothing more than a simple assess that everybody knows they are dif ment over book knowledge. The test Entertaininent ferent. It also thro)'Vs offsome read shows no true intelligence, and it ers by forcing them to try to pro All~on Boron, editor seems to be so completely ridiculous. ·Sean Morrissey, e<;iit<>i nounce some difficult names rather ,Tom Leguard The st()ries.that stµdents have to than focusing on the information in readin them are pointless, and they the selection. ls the goal to con "Ben Affleck asked Jennifer Lopez -Opinion try so hard to be politicajly correct . Sports fuse. the readerwithdifficult n,ames, to marry him." ·> • that it's pathetic. The last time I had Carla Gbur, editor Jatrod Niederhise'r, editor or is the goal to comprehend the . to take it, I had to read a story about reading selection? Kathryn Baranovich Jilli.an Jessica Visel, 9 Barry an American Indian girl who was sad If you are afraid of taking that her umbilical cord was taken the ACT have no fear. All you have 2 feature Quaker Clips · away from her. So that's great-the to do is answer C. I promise you if 0 . Devon Mcilvaine, editor • Lauren Arnold, editor ACT singled out the American Indi you do this you will score high 0 ans that will take the test this year Rachel Fink Brandon Fitch enough to get into a college. It may 3 and draw attention to their life style not be Harvard Law, but it will be a Amanda Jones 1 just to prove the point that America college. January 2004 The Quaker Pages Feature "Leaving on a jetplane ... " By Katie Baranovich every two years. This is why she crushed henna leaves in a tube. Staff w,riter stayed with her grandpa. During the From this tube a variety of designs stay besides visiting with fainily can be made on one's hands. After Not many students at SHS members, she got to go shopping. the design is drawn it has to dry for get the chance to visit foreign coun Shopping in Bangladesh can be ac three or more hours. If one wants to tries for a summer vacation. This complished by taking the car if your make the henna last longer, baby oil was not the case for senior Semira family has one, taking a small taxi, can be placed pn the area where the Chowdhury. During the past sum or taking a rickshaw. A rickshaw is "tattoo" is drawn. This takes place mer she had the opportunity to basically a man on a qicycle pulling after the leayes have been washed travel to Bangladesli for a little 'get a cart behind it Fortunately, while with water. After the time is up a dark away. _., staying in Bangladesh, Semira's fam_ red design will appear which can last . Semira was accompanied_ ily had a car available to them. for up to two weeks. Eventually the by,her mother, father, and eight-year ·Besides shopping, Semira '' tattoo" wiU fade away; Typically old sister Leila. The trip to reach had the chance to visit the British henna is placed on hands for reli Bangladesh took a total of twenty school where a few of her cousins gious reasons or for festivities. three hours. The journey started attend. There are two basic typ_es of When Semira visited with a drive to Pittsburgh where schools in Bangladesh. One· is the Bangladesh six years ago (Decem Semira caught a flight to New Jer British school which only teaches ber 1998), her family visited differ sey. After a one hour layover in New English. No one is allowed to speak ent land marks such as a mosque Jersey it took approximately seven in the natiye language, and it is very and the capital Dhaka which is hours to reach Germany where there expensive to attend. 1n a· Bengali where she stayed during her trip was another six hour layover. Ger school no English classes are of this past summer. This helped to many to Dubai took another four fered. The adolescents who attend make her trip over the summer a more hour flight and Dubai to her desti Bengali schools tend to speak En-_ relaxed one. During the trip she also nation of Dhaka, Bangladesh, took glish very poorly. got the chance to visit Dubai and another four hours. Dhaka is not - A few days before leaving London, England, due to a layover only the Bangladeshi capital, but it Bangladesh to start the trip home, while switching planes. Semira is the largest city in the country. Semira visited a coµsin's house would like to visit these two places The main reason for taking -where she put henna on her hands. again the next time she goes back this trip was to visit with family Henna, or Mehendi, is a form of a which will be anytime in the next four Which Semira only gets to see about temporary tattoo which is made from years. 2003: The year in review • ~ • ' -- • . • ~ ~ t t ' • I ·, .' .:i. ·t ·rates of the Caribbean.' Curse ©f 1he -Sacldam-in-a1'spider hole'" this past By Lauren Arnold Black Pearl along with 0rfando :December, they ·have had no such Bloom and ingenue actress -Keira fuck in finding significant numbers Staff writer Knightly. At forty Johnny Depp of chemical, biological or nuclear made a comeback, and with a Disney weapons. Run, hide from the crazy film none the less. Who would have While troops are continu- terrorists!! No, that wasn't what thought? ing to be killed and injured we suf- 'Secretary of Homeland Security Tom But Disney- created come- fered the loss of further national Ridge was encouraging Americans backs seemed to be a bit of a trend heroes and entertainment icons here to do in February of 2003~ instead this past year, With the kid and at home. All seven members of the he recommended wrapping your adult friendly Finding Nemo Ellen crew on the space shuttle Columbia homes in duct tape incase of bio Degeneres proved that you don't died while in flight on the doomed logical or chemical attack: Yep, that's have to be an eccentric and dash- NASA mission. right, duct tape. In case youtve for ing man to revive your career here Although it is rarely gotten this or any of the other crazy in America, even a quirky lesbian · thought that en:fertainers and ser moments of 2003 The Quaker is here can do it. With the· premier of her . vicemen belong in the same cat to remind you. critically acclaimed talk show, Ellen egory, Bob Hope qualified as both. While the thought of duct seems to be living the American The British-born, nine iron-carrying tape saving the world might seem dream! comedian entertained troops in ev- ridiculous it cannot match the atroc But who knows more ery'majorconflictfrom World War II ity known simply as "Beniffer." Jen about the real American dream than . to· the first Gulf War and was.made nifer Lopez and Ben Affleck ap Nikki and _Paris Hilton? They have an Honorary U.S. Veteran by Presi peared to be Hollywood's on-again become famousfordoingabsolutely dent. Clinton. Shortly before his off-again- bad movie making couple nothing!!! Although it is said th'at · death;' his wife asked Hope where of the year. Not only has Jennifer Nikki has been taking courses at a he would like to be buried, His re Lopez's third wedding been put on New York City college and Pari~ has ply? "Surprise me.~ " - Bob Hope was hold, so has her career. All one can her reality ·sh'ow "The Simple Life" 100 years old. hope is that love really doesn't cost does anyone really care? Probably From the aged to the very a thing because Jen and Ben's film, not, all we know is that they· are · young, talent was everywhere in Gigli lost approximately $50 million blonde, pretty ·and filthy rich, but 2003. Former high school phenom at the box office and brought in re isn't that enough? Please say that's enon Lebron-James made his debut views like The Globe and Mail's enough, . as a Cleveland Cavalier at the ten- comments of," .. . a hypnotic, black Although 2003 had its der age of'18. James is set to inake a hole of a movie that sucks reputa quirks and laughable moments, the total of about'$95 million in endorse tions, caree.rs and goodwill down its world outside Hollywood was still ments in approximately seven years vortex." , revolving. In March the U.S. gov- along with his NBA earnings. So, But don't worry! Not all ernment gave-an ultimatum to Iraqi what are you planning to do after movies in 2003 lost incredible leader Saddam Hussein. After graduation? amounts of money and were hated months of U.N. inspections the die- These things may not by cinema-goers. No, no ... that's tator was given the choice ofreveal- have affected you in the least, or why we have Johnny Depp. Yes, ing and surrendering weapons of you may have been glued to your Johnny Depp, that peculiar yet strik mass destruction or facing a U.S. television ,this past year. Whatever ingly handsome actor from Edward invasion. It is well known what your opinion, you can't deny that Scissor Hands went "box-office" by Hussein's choice was; it is also well these events were BIG. starring in the big action flick Pi- known that while troops found
Page 4 The Quaker January 2004 ~ ( \ Feature The quest for "W'' ~optin_ues... Teaeber·Feature with Frau Reed 14 things to be .an~oyeo about . By Brandon Fitch O.K that was a little carried away for By Allison Boron By Lauren Arnold a minute, but it's looking as if some Staff writer thing drastic must be done to get Entertainment editor Staff writer our leader's attentiOn. The act of Have you ever called some ·taldng hostages or calling in a bomb t Plastic twist ties on the end one and they .made no attempt fo threat is pretty mundane and has Traudi Reed wasbOm of Wonder Bread bags. .contact you back? ·It's riot ·polite. been done befor&, lwould rather get Mrs; 2 Attempting, (often times in Then did you call back, e-niail them, his.attention. with my words. This in Austria on November 30, 1947. At and send a letter to their h0use With way also more likely to keep me the age of eight, she came to .this vain) to get a tray ofOreos is country, not speaking a word of En no response? The p,resident's :&om going.up the r,iver. My life long ..• , back in its.pla5t~c.sleeve, glish. ,:ijase~~ her love of foreign mother must not have: tallght .him goal ha8 ~ertto' inte£ViewPresident .,,~ ·'3:'.''Ailerifes'° · · .. any manners. · · , · Bush. Wh"en he'Wa8just;another languages, traveling, and the added incentive of being able to stay home .·~(·· People who crj at Lif~time l am starting a letter .writ Texan l thotight. to· myself, "Now ,,:···rni9vies; . . . .-'.i;·:. ing campaign to get td ;the· bottom . that mim is going places/' . with ller cbildren in th~ summ~r~ cSlle of this. Currently I am still µnsigned · · . · My efforts oflast and this decided to become a teacher. 5. Mir