NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONALADVOCATE March 2011 March
The National Advocate is an official publication of the National Foster Parent Association
NFPA Youth Scholarships Available “You know be er than anyone that speaking for children has always been and may always NFPA has five (5) youth scholarships be an uphill journey. However, without you, available for foster youth, adopted youth lives would be wasted, if not lost completely; or biological youth of currently licensed families would suffer without recogni on and foster parents who wish to further their hope for change; and the leaders in our education beyond high school. communi es, state and na on would be permi ed to overlook our biggest obliga on to Go to the NFPA website and locate the America – our children.” Youth Scholarship section. Author Unknown
Requirements and Application are available on that site. “Cowardice asks the ques on – is it safe? Expediency asks the ques on – is it poli c? All Applications are due by Vanity asks the ques on – is it popular? March 31, 2011. But conscience asks the ques on – is it right? Mail Application to: NFPA / 2021 East And there comes a me when one must take a Hennepin Avenue, Suite 320 / posi on that is neither safe, nor poli c, nor Minneapolis, MN 55413-1865 popular; but one must take it because it is right.” Dr. Mar n Luther King, Jr. The new address for the National Foster Parent Association is: NFPA 2021 E Hennepin Ave #320 Minneapolis, MN 55413-1769 Phone: 800-557-5238
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #1 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. March 2011 March
Never lose sight of WHY y!
DO what y! DO!
What’s Inside? Schedule ...... Page 20-21 President ...... Page 3 Hotel ...... Pages 22, 27
Meeting Schedule ...... Page 3 Registration ...... Page 23
Board ...... Pages 4-5 Exhibit Information ...... Page 24
Tax Credit ...... Page 8 Sponsor Information ...... Page 25
State News ...... Pages 9-12 Key Note ...... Page 26
Conference History ...... Page 13 Awards ...... Pages 28-29
Pre-Schoolers Debt ...... Pages 14-15 States Map ...... Page 31
Membership ...... Page 16 Facing the Truth ...... Pages 32-33
Call For Presenters ...... Page 17 Family Secrets ...... Page 33
2011 Conference ...... Page 18-29 I’m Glad You Told ...... Page 34
Advertise ...... Page 19 NFPA Ad ...... Page 35
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #2 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care.
Dear Members and Friends of programs that are important to NFPA, children who are abused and The National Foster Parent Now is the time to band neglected are prudentially funded Association is the only national
March 2011 March together to advocate for adequate to keep quality supports and voice for foster parents. funding for programs that serve services available for all children children, particularly those identified as being abused or We need each of you to become programs that serve children and neglected. a member of NFPA so our voice families through child protective It is imperative that will carry more weight as we services systems in each state. legislators understand what foster speak out on the national level As we hear, on a daily parents do for the children placed and as we work to support state basis, both at home and on the into their care and that funding for and local national news, times are hard, foster family care is not decreased. foster parent money is very tight, and many In many states foster family associations social services and social welfare reimbursements are already way to be programs are being targeted for too low. Cuts will create fewer stronger decimation. foster families and children will voices for The National Foster Parent have fewer options for safe foster Association is the only national placements and a slower road to parents in voice for foster parents. We need permanency. their states. each of you to become a member Talk with your friends and of NFPA so our voice will carry family and ask them to join NFPA more weight as we speak out on as members and as fellow the national level and as we work advocates for the needs of children to support state and local foster and families. Thanks to each of you who parent associations to be stronger Watch the NFPA website open your hearts, homes and voices for foster parents in their and mass emails for information families to children in need. You states. important to advocacy efforts. are indeed, my heroes. There is power in numbers. Contact Garry Krentz, Just look at what happened in NFPA Advocacy Chair, or myself With sincerity and in awe, Egypt. Our collective voices must for more information and with Irene Clements, President, NFPA be loud and constant – on both the suggestions for improving our state and national levels – to ensure advocacy efforts.
NFPA BOARD OF DIRECTOR’S MEETING SCHEDULE FOR 2011
1/4/11 7:00PM Central
2/1/11 7:00PM Central
3/1/11 7:00PM Central
4/5/11 7:00PM Central
5/3/11 7:00PM Central
6/23/11 9AM Mobile, Alabama
6/27/11 1:45PM Mobile, Alabama
10/4/11 7:00PM Central
11/?/11 Details to be announced
All Board of Directors meetings are Open Meetings. Meetings listed without a location are by conference call. For information to join the call as a guest follow this link [email protected]
Check the www.nfpaonline.org web site prior to the meeting to determine if meeting is cancelled. www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #3 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NFPA Board of Directors REGION 8 Executive Committee Michele Burnette President: Irene Clements 22065 Andrew Court • COLORADO 1102 Prairie Ridge Trail California, MD 20619 201-994-9344 • MONTANA Pflugerville, TX 78660 512-706-7513 [email protected] • UTAH [email protected] • WYOMING Advisor: John Bertulis • NORTH DAKOTA Vice President:Sue Dondiego 4919 Clearwater Drive • SOUTH DAKOTA 565 Oak Island Circle Ellicott City, MD 410-262-2939 Corrie Lynne Player Plant City, FL 33656 813-759-0329 [email protected] 1671 West 546 South [email protected] Cedar City, UT 84720 435-327-1096 REGION 4 [email protected] Secretary: Lana Freeman • ALABAMA 2934 SW 6th • FLORIDA Advisor: Bonnie McNulty Newcastle, OK 73065 405-387-5052 • GEORGIA 2490 Depew Street [email protected] • KENTUCKY Edgewater, CO 80214 303-233-6216 • MISSISSIPPI [email protected] Treasurer: William "Buddy" Hooper • NORTH CAROLINA 1091 County Road 1659 • SOUTH CAROLINA REGION 9 Cullman, AL 35058 256-796-0582 • TENNESSEE • ARIZONA [email protected] William "Buddy" Hooper • CALIFORNIA 1091 County Road 1659 • NEVADA Member at Large: Sharon Carlson Cullman, AL 35058 256-796-0582 • HAWAII 150 Vantage Drive [email protected] • GUAM Jefferson, GA 30549 404-918-1956 • SAMOA [email protected] Advisor: Lee Marshall • WAKE ISLAND P.O. Box 4871 Aubrey Manuel Council of State Affiliates: Pat Llewellyn Huntsville, AL 35815 256-880-3455 1040 West 46th Street 1740 Trail Street [email protected] Los Angeles, CA 90037 323-846-0007 Missoula, MT 59801 [email protected] [email protected] 406-493-6510 REGION 5 Regional Officers • ILLINOIS Advisor: Myrna Terry REGION 1 • INDIANA 9135 Hemsworth Way CONNECTICUT • MICHIGAN Sacramento, CA 95829 916-681-5059 • MAINE • MINNESOTA [email protected] • MASSACHUSETTS • OHIO • NEW HAMPSHIRE • WISCONSIN REGION 10 • RHODE ISLAND Vacant • ALASKA • VERMONT • IDAHO Position is Vacant REGION 6 • OREGON • ARKANSAS • WASHINGTON Advisor: Jean Fiorito / CAFAP • LOUISIANA Mike Canfield 2189 Silas Deane Hwy • OKLAHOMA 639 N.E. Vena Street Rocky Hill, CT 06067 860-258-3400 • NEW MEXICO Bremerton, WA 98311 360-377-1011 jean.fi[email protected] • TEXAS mcanfi[email protected] Roy Block REGION 2 18751 Castellani Advisor: Melody Curtiss • San Antonio, TX 78258 512-493-7567 3501 104th Street E. • NEW JERSEY [email protected] Tacoma, WA 98446 253-232-9561 • NEW YORK [email protected] • PUERTO RICO REGION 7 • VIRGIN ISLANDS • IOWA Antoinette Cotman • KANSAS 119-29 130th Street • MISSOURI • NEBRASKA South Ozone Park, NY 11420 718-322-1173 2011 March Julie Schoemehl REGION 3 13022 E. 57th Terrace • DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Shawnee, Kansas 67428 817-729-7513 • DELAWARE [email protected] • MARYLAND • PENNSYLVANIA Advisor: Pam Allen • VIRGINIA 1005 K Street • WEST VIRGINIA Aurora, NE 68818 308-631-5847 [email protected]
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #4 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Chair of Committees Diversity Budget/Finance [email protected] Lana Freeman Aubrey Manuel (see her contact under Secretary_ 1040 W. 46th Street Communications Los Angeles, CA 90037 323-846-0007 Terri Jaggers Board Development - Ad Hoc [email protected] 17 Marietta Court Cate Newbanks Montgomery, TX 77356 713-822-4603 3900 West Broad Street Bylaws [email protected] Richmond, VA 23230 804-814-6865 Peggy Kirby [email protected] 170 Harrell Road Resource Development W. Monroe, LA 71291 318-396-6309 Duane St. Clair Member Services [email protected] 9347 Gentle Way Sharon Carlson Columbia, MD 21045 410-381-5751 150 Vantage Drive Nominations [email protected] Jefferson, GA 30549 404-918-1956 Ron Clanton [email protected] 3650 E. Thunderbird Road Implementation Committee Phoenix, AZ 85032 602-404-9534 Jean Fiorito Advocacy/ Public Policy [email protected] 4 Merrigan Lane Garry Krentz 717-701-6123 Windsor Locks, CT 06096 860-258-3400 [email protected] Conference jean.fi[email protected] Sue Dondiego 565 Oak Island Circle Plant City, FL 33656 813-759-0329 Committee Responsibilities f) Management of NFPA grievances 1) Bylaws Committee 6) Member Services Committee a) Bylaws a) Scholarships and awards b) Policies and Procedures b) Identifies training and educational materials needed by foster parents c) Board Manual c) Evaluates effectiveness of trainings and workshops 2) Nominations Committee d) Assists staff with selection of workshops for annual a) Oversight of Nomination process conference b) Oversight of Elections 7) Diversity Committee 3) Budget/Finance Committee a) Be included on subcommittees for specific diversity issues. a) Assist in development of annual budget b) Identifies materials, trainers, and workshops on b) Financial oversight diversity. c) Internal and external audit c) Interact with Board Development Committee to bring diverse people into leadership of NFPA. d) Provide guidance for grant development, with input from Board of Director's d) Develop liaisons to state diversity committees. e) Business and Resource plan development e) Interact with Board Development and Member Services to include diversity topics in trainings. f) Develop relationships with philanthropic and corporate 8) Implementation Committee sources a) Coordinate efforts between committees. 4) Advocacy/Public Policy Committee b) Oversight of implementation of new programs/services a) Advocacy and public policy at state and national levels c) Provide information on implementation efforts to Executive b) Foster/adopt/kinship public policy Committee. c) National advocacy presence 9) Communications Committee d) Helps staff maintain a roster of credible spokespersons a) Provide public relations opportunities for NFPA e) Position statements b) Oversee social media sites such as Facebook c) Oversee publication of the National Advocate f) NFPA support of legislative issues d) Ensure frequent and informational communications with 5) Board Development Committee members 10) Resource Development Committee a) Board activities - training, retreats, mentoring, orientation and recruitment of new board members. a) Seek opportunities for diversification of funding b) Develop new programs to benefit members of NFPA b) Identifies board development resources, materials and c) Coordinate with other committees for program workshops implementation c) Networking and interaction during conference 11) Conference Committee a) Seek locations for future educational conferences d) Youth voice representation on board of directors b)Coordinate all conference activities e) Staff Development c) Coordinate call for presenters and assign workshops d) Coordinate registration, banquets, etc. www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #5 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NFPA Board Members... Include Lee Marshall : Region 4 Advisor Mike Canfield : Region 10 Vice-President Lee Marshall is an Emmy award winning journalist. After ! I grew up in Eugene Oregon and joined the United States 15 years in front of the camera, 10 years anchoring the morning Marine Corps. I have worked construction, sold athletic shoes news & noon news for WAFF 48 News, she is enjoying sleeping and have been a Group Home and Foster Parent. Our foster in and devoting her time and talents off air to her Kids to Love home has been full for 27 years. Foundation, a non profit organization she started in 2004 that I have a BA in Psychology from Western Washington meets the immediate needs of Foster Children. More than University, and have worked as a Child and Family Therapist at 100,000 foster children have been touched directly through the Kitsap Mental Health Services. Currently I am a Washington Kids to Love Foundation's outreach efforts. www.kidstolove.org State Aggression Replacement Training Master Trainer / Lee's "Kids to Love" segments on t.v. across Alabama was Consultant. I have had the pleasure of training and consulting honored by the National Academy of Arts & Sciences for with trainers around Washington and the United States. Community Service. My wife Beth and I have lived in Bremerton Washington Lee is an advisor to the Board of Directors of the National for 20 years and are the Co-Presidents of the Foster Parent Foster Parent Association. A National Finalist for the Energizer Association of Washington State. I am the Region 10 Vice- Bunny "Keep It Going" award in 2010. She has been named an President for the National Foster Parent Association and loving "Angel in Adoption" by Congress. Lee has been honored by the it all! US Department of Health & Human Services for her Adoption Awareness efforts. Mike is the Region 10 Vice-President on the NFPA Board For Lee, it's personal. Born into foster care and adopted representing by a loving family, Lee's mission is to find every foster child a • ALASKA place to call home. • IDAHO • OREGON Lee is an accomplished singer / songwriter. With 2 CD's • WASHINGTON to her credit, she has shared her music from Alabama to Australia. Lee's greatest accomplishment is her family. She and Jeff have been married for 16 years and have 2 daughters Ella & Emma. Region 4 Represents: • ALABAMA • FLORIDA • GEORGIA • KENTUCKY • MISSISSIPPI • NORTH CAROLINA • SOUTH CAROLINA • TENNESSEE
NFPA has many volunteers that support the families
March 2011 March and children across this great nation.
They represent our very best, and they are among the very best!
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #6 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NFPA Board Members ... Include Michele Burnette Region 3 Vice-President Jean Fiorito is the current chair of the NFPA ! Michele Burnette: Thirteen years ago, Implementation Committee. With so many new Michele Burnette and her family became Resource initiatives at NFPA, Jeanʼs responsibilities are to ensure that Parents for the state of Maryland. She is currently initiatives make it to the starting block after they have been a full time mom to 8 children and a full time reviewed by the appropriate committees and is ready to registered nurse. Michele has a background in launch successfully. Newborn Intensive Care where she worked for ! Jean has been a member of NFPA since 1985 and over 12 years. She also has a background in has been a board member for 18 years in various capacities. labor and delivery and community health nursing She has been the Region 1 Advisor, Education Chair, Finance Michele is the President of the Maryland Foster Chair and the Member-At-Large on the Executive Committee Parent Association Vice President Region 3 for the several times, as well as currently maintaining committee National Foster Parent Association and also the memberships on Finance and Resource Development newly elected President of the FIRST IN THE Committees. Jean holds the honor of being the only NFPA NATION Resource Parent PTSA (Parent, Teacher, member to receive the NFPA Presidentʼs Award twice: in Student Association). 1996 from NFPA President Cora White and in 2003 from NFPA President Randy Ruth. Jean is also the co-chair of the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) Foster Care Advisory Committee. ! Jean is the Executive Director for the CT Association of Foster and Adoptive Parents in Rocky Hill, CT. She has been there since 1997. During her tenure, the association has grown from 9 employees to 31 employees. The association provides approximately 15 programs for foster, adoptive and relative caregiver families.
Corrie Lynne Player Region 8 Vice-President Corrie and her husband are the parents of nine children and grandparents of 34. Their foster home, specializing in attachment disorders, has sheltered more than 40 children over the past 35 years. Corrie Lynne and Gary, consultants in technical writing and natural resources, have worked side by side for 25 years. A graduate of Stanford University in creative writing, English, and education, Corrie Lynneʼs freelance writing career began in 1972. She specializes in creative nonfiction, technical writing, and biography. Sheʼs taught writing on the university level, has been a journalist and copy editor for regional newspapers and has March 2011 March published in national magazines such as Family Circle, Woman's Day, Parents, Trailer Life, and Ladies Home Journal. Sheʼs a member of the Authorʼs Guild, was the League of Utah Writers “Writer of the Year” in 2007 and has won numerous awards and prizes, including First Place in the LUW 2010 Writing Competition for her nonfiction book, Heaven Help Us Be Happy Sandwiches.Her work includes four editions of Anchorage Altogether (a book of essays about parenting in Alaska, the Last Frontier); an authorized young adult biography about Philo T. Farnsworth, the inventor of television, Dreams Do Come True; three parenting books, So Your Teen Knows All the Answers, Loving Firmness: Successfully Raising Teenagers Without Losing Your Mind, and The Everything Parentʼs Guide to Raising Your Adopted Child; dozens of magazine articles, and two ongoing weekly columns on parenting and relationships: “Heaven Help Us.” TRAINING SPECIALTIES: Attachment Issues, Coping with Changing Adolescent Brains, Behavior Modification in Young Children, Behavior Modification in Adolescents, Family Relationships and Communication.
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #7 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Tax Credit News If you adopted a foster child between 2005 and 2010 and the child receives adoption subsidy, you may be eligible for thousands of dollars in federal adoption tax credit! March 2011 March
To learn more, visit NACAC at http://www.nacac.org/adoptionsubsidy/factsheets/taxes.html or 800-470-6665 or [email protected]
If you adopted a foster child between 2005 and 2010 and the child receives adoption subsidy, you may be eligible for thousands of dollars in federal adoption tax credit!
Since 2003, families who adopted a child with special On the back, we explain the basics of the adoption needs from foster care could claim a federal adoption tax credit. More detailed information is available at tax credit even if they had no adoption expenses. www.nacac.org/taxcredit/taxcredit.html. Other adoptive families are also eligible for the NACAC has partnered with H&R Block to help credit, but must document qualified adoption adoptive parents determine whether they are eligible expenses. to receive additional benefits. H&R Block is offering: The tax credit became refundable for 2010 and 2011. 1. Free Second Look Review — An H&R Block tax A refundable tax credit is one you get back regardless professional will conduct a thorough review of of what you owe or paid in taxes for the year. your prior years, checking to see if any credits or Families who adopted from 2005 to 2009 may be deductions were missed. You’ll receive advice on able to benefit from the refundable credit because what to do if you qualify for additional benefits. credits from those years can be carried forward 2. Special pricing on filing amended returns (price until 2010. (Families who adopted in 2003 and 2004 will vary by office) may be able to take some limited advantage of the 3. $20 discount on 2010 tax return preparation credit but will not benefit from refundability. Families who adopted earlier will not benefit from Contact your local H&R Block office today and the credit if they did not take it already.) schedule an appointment any time between February The amount of the credit is based on the year the 14 and April 30 to determine whether you qualify for adoption finalized: this opportunity. When you meet with an H&R Block tax professional, bring: (1) all your recent tax returns 2010 — $13,170 2007 — $11,390 2004 — $10,390 starting with the year you adopted or any returns 2009 — $12,150 2006 — $10,960 2003 — $10,160 from 2005 to 2009 for which you’d like the second 2008 — $11,650 2005 — $10,630 look; (2) your adoption decree from the court; (3) The credit is paid one time for each adopted child your adoption subsidy/adoption assistance agreement. with special needs.
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #8 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. State’s News Foster Parents Suing State for More Money
The Foster Parent Association of Washington says the State is not meeting Federal requirements listed in the Child Welfare Act. Click HERE to see this story on-line Seattle —The Foster Parent Association of Washington State filed a lawsuit with the U.S. District Court alleging that the State of Washington violates the federal Child Welfare Act by failing to reimburse foster parents for the cost of basic care provided to foster children. he group says Washington’s basic foster care maintenance rates do not comply with the Child Welfare Act because they do not cover the “cost of (and cost of providing) food, clothing, shelter, daily supervision, school supplies, a child’s personal incidentals, liability insurance with respect to a child and reasonable travel to the child’s (biological) home for visitation and reasonable travel for the child to remain in the school in which the child is enrolled at the time of placement.” “It starts out as something you do and as the years go by and the kids come and go it's not what you do it's what you are," says Sheri Novak. For the last 30 years, Novak has raised more than 100 foster kids. It's a commitment that's not cheap. “Food is more expensive, clothes and activities. They want to go to movies, they want to go skating. To bring them up to a normal level is expensive," says Novak. Right now, Sheri is fostering three kids and gets about 15 dollars a day for each. "Our fear is that it's becoming to the point where people can't afford to take in a child. We have a scary shortage of foster homes," says Beth Canfield with the Foster Parent Association of Washington. So the group is taking action, suing the state of Washington. The suit claims the reimbursement is 60 to 75% lower than the mandate laid out in the Federal Child Welfare Act. It's a rate the plaintiffs say just doesn't make sense. "I went to King County and looked at the cost of kenneling your dog. The average site I found was $45 a day," says Mike Canfield, Co-President of FPAW. The parents understand the state is in a budget crisis, but say this should be a priority. “There are a ton of issues with the state's financial problems but this lawsuit is not about that. We see the kids as belonging to the community, to the state, to all of us and we all have to shoulder that burden," says Canfield. We spoke to the Department of Social and Health Services about the lawsuit Wednesday. They said it was too premature to comment. The foster group is hopeful based on the outcome of a similar lawsuit in California. In August 2010, the Ninth District Court of Appeals ruled the state of California had to increase its payments to foster parents by 40%. The Washington lawsuit references a national study entitled “Hitting the MARC: Establishing Foster Care Minimum Adequate Rates for Children.” According to the study, Washington’s basic foster care maintenance rates need to increase by more than 60% on average, and the rate for children from birth to 4 years old needs to increase by more than 75%, in order for the rates to reimburse foster parents for the costs of the items in the Child Welfare Act. Washington is in the bottom third of all states when it comes to reimbursing foster parents for the cost of basic care provided to foster children. “Last night, we honored many good people at our Annual Awards Dinner “Night of 1000 Dreams,” began Beth Canfield, Co President of the Foster Parent Association of Washington State (FPAWS). “We honored social workers, state employees and state leaders who are part of Children’s Administration and the Ombudsman for Children and Family Services. We honored foster parents, elected officials, law firms, and a camp that reunites siblings who have been separated because of the foster care system. What do these people all have in common? We are all advocates for foster children, partners in looking out for our kids,” said Canfield. “Today, the Foster Parent Association of Washington State is here to take another giant step. We are here to take action to help foster children obtain the care that they are entitled to under federal law and to help those who volunteer 24/7 for these kids & their foster parents by filing a lawsuit on their behalf.”
Click HERE to see Video from ‘Camp To Belong’ in Washington
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #9 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. State’s News Heaven Help Us (435)867-5637 or (435) 590-8705 e-mail: [email protected]
“Utah Legislators: Keep Foster Care Funding!” Corrie Lynne Player Once again, our state legislature is grappling with a sick economy by trying to cut costs. They’ve committed to cutting the budget by seven per cent (7%). They’ll hack away wherever they can without offending their constituents, so I want to be sure they know that some areas of the budget must be left alone! Please join me in spreading the word about how important Utah’s foster families are to the well-being of our state. Call your senator and representative and tell them to keep funding for foster families at the same level (if they can’t figure out a way to increase it). Ask your friends who vote to call, too. I’ve been a foster parent for 44 years, and three of my nine children were adopted from the foster care system. I know that the foster/adopt program is the single most important way ordinary people can impact society. Loving foster parents mean that children won’t turn into the criminals who are coming out of dysfunctional, even toxic homes. Good foster homes today mean the state won’t have to build as many prisons tomorrow. My adopted children were abused and neglected by their biological families. Two of them came into the system suffering from Fetal Alcohol Effect (FAE). One had been sexually abused and was at risk for becoming an offender. All three children are now grown, married, and have 13 children between them. They are happy, functioning adults, their lives a testament to how the foster/adopt system can and should work. Good foster homes don’t just happen, however. People must be recruited and trained, then they must receive on-going support, both physical and financial. Utah’s foster care system is OK, but it places heavy burdens on the good people who go through the licensing process. Too often, folks become licensed, take in vulnerable, at-risk children and then realize they can’t meet the needs of those children because there simply aren’t enough financial resources. I know of several instances where that’s the main reason trained, effective people aren’t taking children. The $14 daily stipend barely covers diapers for a baby, let alone nutritious food and adequate clothing for a growing child. For kids in upper grades whose food and clothing needs escalate, things are even worse. Tell your representative or senator to avoid cutting the funding already in place for Utah foster parents. All of us know that these tough economic times require tough decisions, but cutting funding for a program that is already woefully underfunded makes no economic sense at all. Perhaps Utah’s legislators could take a little less on their daily $60+ food allotment or find somewhere else to reduce costs that won’t result in harming the children who are, literally, the future of our society.
Make your voice heard–speak up; together, we can make a difference.
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #10 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. State’s News
The Connecticut Association of Foster and Adoptive Parents, Inc (CAFAP) has been actively developing their recruitment and retention efforts, as well as implementing creative ways that lead to enhanced awareness in the community. CAFAP has focused on building community partnerships that are leading to some great results!
At the end of 2010, CAFAP sponsored an American Girl Fashion Show where the proceeds were designated to the Children’s Hope Fund which offers financial assistance to foster and adoptive youth for enrichment activities. There were three sold-out shows in November and a lot of fashion, fun and a chance for CAFAP to gain exposure in the community while using the American Girl Brand.
During the winter holiday season, several holiday giving drives were implemented which increased our level of donations. We also received some great press by partnering with the New Britain Rock Cats, a Minnesota Twins farm team, and the Holiday Adopt-a Family Project which led to Rocky the Mascot delivering gifts and food to a selected foster and adoptive family. Bozutto’s, a local supermarket chain, donated endless holiday chocolate and winter wear to be given out just in time for the holidays (and the cold weather). Another great way CAFAP was able to spread some holiday spirit was with our “Wish Upon A Star” tree that was showcased at the Wadsworth Anthenuem’s Festival of Trees and Traditions. CAFAP designed a star themed tree that included the wishes and dreams of our foster and adoptive youth. CAFAP staff volunteered at this event which included the distribution of “Wish Upon A Star” coloring books to be used as recruitment giveaways.
CAFAP looks forward to this upcoming March as we plan our 2nd Annual Avenue of Dreams event held at Saint Clements Castle. This event is a magical day for foster and adoptive teen girls who are treated like royalty as they select a free prom gown from the Prom Boutique and receive a makeover to compliment their unique style. The second half of this event includes a mother/daughter luncheon and workshop based on the topic of “identifying ways to make your dreams come true.” Last year’s event was such a success; we are so excited to see the beaming smiles and the amazing level of support that this event brings.
CAFAP has already begun their planning efforts for May. Foster Care Awareness Month is always a big part of our outreach efforts and each year we look for innovative ways to share our mission. This year, CAFAP will hold their Annual Conference on May 6th and 7th at the Mystic Marriott. As always, this is a two day event that includes offerings for the entire statewide foster and adoptive community. In addition, CAFAP is sponsoring a minor league ballgame which has been designated as Foster Care Awareness Night and will include a picnic and admission for our families; a VIP suite for selected guests; giveaways, media tags, and more. Until May, we are gearing up for our Social Media Campaign in honor of Awareness Month and have some engaging ways to build our Facebook and Twitter Fan base.
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #11 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. State’s News
The FACES of Virginia Families 4th annual support and training institute will be held on May 20-22, 2011 at the Roanoke Sheraton Conference Center in Roanoke, VA. More info available at www.facesofvirginia.org. Join FACES members at the "Be A Star" 4th Annual Support and Training Institute at the Roanoke Sheraton Conference Center on May 20-22, 2011. Register on-line at www.facesofvirginia.org
North Carolina Foster Adoptive Parent Association: Annual Education Conference ‘Peace, Love & Family…..Growing Groovy Families’ April 15-17, 2011 /Renaissance Charlotte Suites /Charlotte, NC
www.ncfapa.org for all conference information.
The Connecticut Association of Foster and Adoptive Parents, Inc (CAFAP) has been actively developing their recruitment and retention efforts, as well as implementing creative ways that lead to enhanced awareness in the community. CAFAP has focused on building community partnerships that are leading to some great results!
The Texas Foster Family Association is busy planning our 39th annual training conference to be held in October, 2011, in Corpus Christi, Texas. We just completed a regional training conference in late January. The association has over 4200 paid members and represents all 9500 foster families in Texas.
TFFA is working to advocate on behalf of our child protection system during our 82nd State Legislative Session that began on January 11, 2011 and ends on May 31, 2011. Much advocacy work will be needed as we work to keep funding at levels that will meet the needs of all Texas children who are identified as abused and/or neglected during a time when our state is facing a 27 billion dollar shortfall. TFFA is also working in collaboration with COAC (Council on Adoptable Children) and NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children) on advocacy and educational projects. For more information on TFFA, please visit www.tffa.org or check us out on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/TexasFosterFamilyAssociation
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #12 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NFPA CONFERENCE HISTORY
NFPA is proud of our long history of excellent conferences! How many have you attended?
1. □ 1971 – Chicago, IL 26. □ 1996 – Los Angeles, CA 2. □ 1972 – Denver, CO 27. □ 1997 – Lexington, KY 3. □ 1973 – Philadelphia, PA 28. □ 1998 – Orlando, FL 4. □ 1974 – Spokane, WA 29. □ 1999 – Albuquerque, NM 5. □ 1975 – Atlanta, GA 30. □ 2000 – Minneapolis, MN 6. □ 1976 – Honolulu, HI 31. □ 2001 – Cincinnati, OH 7. □ 1977 – New York, NY 32. □ 2002 – Las Vegas, NV 8. □ 1978 – Houston, TX 33. □ 2003 – Des Moines, IA 9. □ 1979 – Boston, MA 34. □ 2004 – Orlando, FL 10. □ 1980 – Kansas City, MO 35. □ 2005 – Garden Grove, CA 11. □ 1981 – Detroit, MI 36. □ 2006 – San Antonio, TX 12. □ 1982 – Bismarck, ND 37. □ 2007 – Washington, DC 13. □ 1983 – Norfolk, VA 38. □ 2008 –Atlanta, GA 14. □ 1984 – Denver, CO 39. □ 2009 – Reno, NV 15. □ 1985 – Ft. Worth, TX 40. □ 2010 – Baltimore, MD 16 □ 1986 – Wilmington, DE 41. □ 2011 – Mobile, AL 17. □ 1987 – Anaheim, CA 42. □ 2012 – ______18. □ 1988 – St. Charles, IL 43. □ 2013 – ______19. □ 1989 – Parsippany, NJ 44. □ 2014 – ______20. □ 1990 – Phoenix, AZ 45. □ 2015 – ______21. □ 1991 – Minneapolis, MN 46. □ 2016 – ______22. □ 1992 – Atlanta, GA 47. □ 2017 – ______23. □ 1993 – Salt Lake City, UT 48. □ 2018 – ______24. □ 1994 – Grand Rapids, MI 49. □ 2019 – ______25. □ 1995 – Chicago, IL 50. □ 2020 – ______
www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #13 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care.
1NAO?DKKHANO EJ%A>P Protecting Your Children from Identity Theft
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Identity theft used to be a nightmare are thieves getting the information private data, information can - and for adults, but now it’s our children they need - birthdates, social security does - still slip through the cracks. who are becoming increasingly numbers and other sensitive data - to common targets. And it’s even more steal kids’ identities? Foster children are also particularly of a nightmare for kids because by susceptible to identity theft because the time it’s discovered - usually when One way is stolen data. The source of frequent home and school moves. they apply for their first credit card or could be any kid-centric business, As a result, their personal information college loan as young adults - it has service or entity - think pediatricians, changes hands many times and, often been going on for years. health care facilities, day cares, schools, unfortunately, not all of those hands foster care agencies, and others. One are clean. Consider this young man’s story. Now hacked computer file, dishonest in is 20s, his identity was stolen by his employee, or even crime rings that Sadly, though, the source of the estranged father when he was a child; watch for birth and death certificates problem is often much closer to home. he found out when he went to apply and attempt to get copies - and a In fact, according to the Identity Theft for his dream job as a police officer child’s personal information is there Resource Center (ITRC), the most -- and was denied because he couldn’t for the taking. pass the background check. It will take %HWWHU6DIH7KDQ6RUU\ years to straighten out the financial But the more common, and more 5HVRXUFHV7R3URWHFW .LGV mess as a result, which has put an insidious, route is synthetic identity theft, in which the thief uses a real unnecessary black mark on his future. Use these helpful resources for more Social Security number with a name information: More than 500 million U.S. identities other than the one that’s actually have been reported lost, stolen or attached to that number - essentially Identity Theft Resource Center: otherwise exposed since 2005, but a creating a whole new identity. And, Fact Sheet 120B: A Guide for 2008 study from Javelin Strategy and because it’s a legitimate Social Security Parents – Child Identity Theft Research found that one in 20 children number, the damage doesn’t usually Indicators
http://www.idtheftcenter.org/ 2011 March have been the victims of identity theft, show up on the owner’s credit report. artman2/publish/v_fact_sheets/Fact_ averaging about $12,000 in debt. /RVWLQIRUPDWLRQ Sheet_120.shtml +RZGRHVWKLVKDSSHQ" While recent regulations like the FTC Guide: Marketing demographics aren’t perfect Gramm- Leach-Bliley, HIPAA, A comprehensive guide to when it comes to targeting offers, but FACTA (Fair and Accurate Credit individual identity theft: http:// most kids don’t get barraged with Transaction Act), and the “Red Flags www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/microsites/ credit card offers in the mail. So how Rule” mandate how businesses handle idtheft.
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www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #14 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care.
3UHVFKRROHUV,Q'HEW" 3URWHFWLQJ common cause of child identity theft is the child’s parent - often in a split family scenario where emotions run high and situations get desperate. $QLQGXVWU\SUREOHP" Part of the problem for the high numbers and perhaps one of the reasons for the growing trend of thieves targeting children is the system itself. First, credit issuers don’t have a method to verify an applicant’s age. An applicant could be 8 or 28, but the issuer has no way of checking, and the information is also taken to be the and when there’s a security breach, but one that will also correct data. If a thief gets credit over the phone, or enters a help you fix it, and immediately restore any stolen identity child’s information online, it’s rarely verified. issues. Also, as technology has improved, it’s tough for an Finally, watch for red flags at home, like credit card offers untrained eye to pick out bogus driver’s licenses and other addressed to your child or, worse, calls from collection forms of ID. And even then, it’s highly unlikely that a clerk agencies. Others include opening a child’s savings account has systems in place to double-check age. The system just - and discovering that an account already exists, or being isn’t sophisticated enough at the applicant level. denied an account because of bad credit or a bad check record. The most important tool in preventing child Credit reporting agencies don’t know if an application is identity theft is awareness. Being proactive now instead of accurate, either - at least not when it comes to age - because reactive later will help you better prepare kids for a good there’s not much information exchange or cross-checking start, and ensure that they’re able to establish their own between the agency and the Social Security Administration. good credit later. These are just a few industry issues that make child identity $ERXWWKH$XWKRU theft tough to halt once it starts. Compound these issues Jason Lavender is a Certified Identity Theft Risk with timing - by the time the theft is discovered, it’s too Management Specialist and Founder of Austin-based ID late, and parents and children are facing a real problem. Theft Solutions of America (IDTSOA). IDTSOA specializes 3URWHFWLQJFKLOGUHQ in protecting individuals, as well as businesses, from According to the ITRC, it can take up to 5,840 hours to identity theft. IDTSOA has been endorsed by National correct the damage from identify theft, depending on how Foster Parents Association and many other state foster care severe the case. And in the case of children, it is often a organizations. For more information, contact Jason at 512- years-long crime. So what can you do to protect your kids? 814-0200 or [email protected]. You can find IDTSOA on: The first step is to order a credit report, which will 2011 March immediately alert you to any red flags. You can order one The web at www.idtsoa.com free report per year (go to www.annualcreditreport.com for Twitter via @idtsoa or information). If you find out that one doesn’t exist, that’s a Facebook at www.facebook.com/idtsoa. good thing. That’s because a child’s credit report shouldn’t exist until his or her first application as an adult. Second, look into a proactive monitoring and restoration program for the family -- one that doesn’t just tell you if www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #15 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION, INC. Mail to: Phyllis Pierce 6864 NE 14th Street / Suite 5 / Ankeny, Iowa 50023-9525 March 2011 March For Questions Call: 800-557-5238 [email protected] www.NFPAonline.org www.nfpaonline.com/conference2011 ‘I became a member of NFPA within the last year, and have got to say I am very glad this Associa on exists as the foster parent support and the updated knowledge is a huge benefit; and I see this Associa on as an asset to the foster care system as well.'-K. Avila www.nfpaonline.com/membership New Renewal: Member#: ______Membership level: ______Individual/Family ($35) ______Agency ($100) ______Local Association ($50) ______State Association ($75) _____ 1-year _____2-year _____3-year _____ Payment method: ______Check-#: ______Money Order-#: ______Purchase Order (include copy of purchase order) ______Credit Card (check appropriate): VISA ______MasterCard ______American Express ______Discover ______Card #: ______Expiration Date: ______Billing Zip Code: ______ Signature: ______ Member Information! (PLEASE INCLUDE EMAIL ADDRESS) Name(s): ______ Address: ______ City/State: ______Zip Code: ______ Phone: ______ Email: (please print)______ www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #16 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. 2011 NFPA Education Conference ^^^^^^^^CALL FOR PRESENTERS^^^^^^^^ Deadline For Informa on: April 1, 2011 The 41st Annual NFPA Education Conference will be held at the Renaissance Mobile Riverview Plaza Hotel, in Mobile AL, on June 25, 26 and 27, 2011. Workshops will be scheduled in the mornings and afternoons on Saturday, June 25 and Sunday, June 26, and the morning of Monday, June 27. Workshops are 1 ½ or 3 hour sessions. If you would like to be considered as a workshop presenter please provide the following information. Name: ______Training Title: ______Contact Information: Address: ______Phone: ______Email: ______Title and brief description of workshop, including learning goals and objectives for the participants: ______. Workshop session 1 ½ hours ______3 hours ______Day/time preference: Saturday* ______AM _____ PM _____ Sunday* ______AM _____ PM ______Monday/AM* ______Brief resume, including presenter experience: ______ You will receive notification of your acceptance as a workshop presenter no later than April 15th. At that time we will confirm your participation. *Complimentary tickets for workshop presenters are as follows: Saturday presenters: Luncheon Sunday presenters: Awards Breakfast Buffet Monday Continental Breakfast Send completed information to Sharon Carlson: [email protected] Deadline For Informa on: April 1, 2011 www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #17 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NFPACONFERENCE June 25-27, 2011 64 South Water Street Mobile, Alabama 36602 Phone: 1-251-438-4000 Toll-free: 1-800-922-3298 NFPA 41st National Education Conference March 2011 March The NFPA 2011 National Education Conference is scheduled for June 25-27, 2011. Council of State Affiliates meet on June 23 and NFPA Board of Directors meet on June 24. We will be in Mobile, Alabama at the Renaissance Mobile Riverview Plaza Hotel. Mark the dates on your calendar. There is information in this issue of the NationalAdvocate and you can visit our web-site for even more information. Foster Care: The Road To Permanency www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #18 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Special 2011 Conference Up-date Derek Clark, speaker, author and singer/songwriter will give the keynote address at lunch on Saturday. A former foster child, Derek suffered unthinkable child abuse, abandonment and emotional distress before entering the foster care system. With the help of his foster parents and mentors, he has defied the artificial limitations imposed upon him. He has inspired many as he unleashed his creative energy in a never ending effort to ignite passion in others and instill the courage to never give up. His maxim is to make no excuses and become what you want to become. He has turned his situation from a victim to victor, equipping him with the wisdom and the Will to Never Give Up. Learn more about Derek on his web-site: www.IWillNeverGiveUp.com Meet and Greet Reception, an opportunity to meet and talk to Derek Clark, NFPA Board and State Affiliate members, foster/ adoptive parents, agency representatives and child advocates from across the country on Saturday evening. Sean Hudson, a University of Alabama student will give the keynote address at the Closing Session on Monday. Sean, a former foster child, could have been a statistic – instead he’s a success story. He is the recipient of the prestigious Horizon Award and the only foster student from Alabama to be named the 2010 Outstanding Youth Leader. Sean believes foster and adoptive children place limits on themselves because of the situations they are in. His goal is to destroy that particular mentality by erasing any doubts about their abilities. Have you registered for the 2011 NFPA Education Conference yet? Go to www.nfpaonline.com or www.nfpaonline.com/ conference2011 for conference information or use one of the forms in this issue of the NationalAdvocate. Questions? Contact Sue Dondiego, Conference Chair, at [email protected] or call at (908) 307- 5196. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION ^^^^^^^On-site Conference Guide ^^^^^^^^ On-site Guide will be in full color Size of a full page: 8½ X 11 All ads/informa on must be in camera ready form (jpg AND pdf format) Deadline for accep ng ads/informa on: May 15, 2011 Make check payable to: NFPA Ads/informa on and payment should to be sent to: Sue Dondiego 565 Oak Island Circle Plant City, FL 33565 Phone: (908) 307-5196 National Foster Parent Association E-mail: suefafsfl@earthlink.net Rates: Advertise Inside front cover ...... $500 Here March 2011 March Inside back cover ...... $500 Back cover ...... $750 Full page ...... $400 Full page (non-profits) ...... $150 Half page ...... $225 Business card ...... $50 www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #19 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENTS ASSOCIATION ^^^^^^^^2011 NFPA EDUCATION CONFERENCE^^^^^^^^ SCHEDULE Thursday, June 23rd - 9 am-5 pm STATE AFFILIATES MEETING - Guests are welcome to observe but no training credits will be given. Friday, June 24th - 9 am-5 pm BOARD MEETING - Guests are welcome to observe but no training credit will be given. - 1:30 pm – 6:30 pm Registra on open - 3 pm – 9 pm Exhibits open Saturday, June 25th 2011 March - Breakfast on your own - 7:30 am – 9:15 am Registra on open - 8 am – 9:15 am First me a endees mee ng - 9:15 am – 10:45 am Opening Session - 11 am – 12:30 pm Registra on open - 11 am – 12:30pm Workshops - 11 am – 12:30 pm Leadership Training for Board and State Affiliates - 12:30 pm- 2 pm Luncheon – Keynote Speaker: Derek Clark - 2:15 pm- 6 pm Registra on open - 2:15 pm – 3:45 pm Workshops - 2:15 pm – 5:30 pm Local Affiliates mee ng - 2:15 pm - 5:30 pm State Affiliates mee ng - 4 pm – 5:30 pm Workshops - 5:30 pm - ? Meet and Greet Recep on – Inspiring songs by Derek Clark and interac on with NFPA Board members and other conference a endees, meet old friends and make new ones. - Dinner on your own www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #20 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENTS ASSOCIATION ^^^^^^^^2011 NFPA EDUCATION CONFERENCE^^^^^^^^ SCHEDULE Cont... Sunday, June 26th - 7:30 am – 9:30 am Registra on - 8 am – 9:30 am Workshops - 8 am – 8 pm Exhibits open - 9:45 am – 11:15 am Awards Brunch - 11:30 am – 12:30pm Regional Mee ngs - Meet your Regional Vice President and other Conference a endees from your region, learn the latest news about what’s happening in the NFPA and your region and discuss issues of importance which will help set NFPA and regional goals for the coming year and beyond. - 12:30 pm – 1:30 pm Lunch on your own - 1:30 pm - 3 pm Workshops - 3:15 pm-4:30 pm General Membership Mee ng - A must for all members and anyone wan ng to learn about the accomplishments achieved this past year and future goals of the NFPA. Door prizes!! - 4:45 pm – 6:15 pm Workshops - 4:45 pm – 6:15 pm Nomina ons Commi ee mee ng - Dinner on your own Monday, June 27th - 8 am – 1:30 pm Exhibit Hall open - 8 am – 9 am Con nental Breakfast March 2011 March - 9 am – 10:30 am Workshops - 10:45 am – 12:15 pm Closing Session/Keynote Speaker: Sean Hudson - 1:15 pm-4 pm Board mee ng www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #21 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. National Foster Parent Conference June 25th - 27th , 2011 2011 March Save The Date Renaissance Mobile Riverview Plaza Hotel 64 South Water Street, Mobile, Alabama Room rate single or double: $99 Registra on Fees: NFPA Members ...... $185 Non NFPA Members ...... $220 NFPA member Local or State Affiliate/Agency: Group of 1 to 5 ...... $185.00 Large Group Rate or Ques ons: Contact: Sue Dondiego suefafsfl@earthlink.net or Buddy Hooper [email protected] One (1)Awards Breakfast Buffet, one (1) Luncheon and one (1) Continental Breakfast are included in the registration fee. This conference will include: * a special meeting time for first time attendees * credit for training hours in workshops most requested by foster/adoptive parents kinship care providers and agency staff * several opportunities to interact with NFPA Board members, foster parents and other child advocates from across the country and US territories. To register for the Conference or obtain information on Exhibits, On-site Guide Advertisement and Sponsor opportunities visit our web-site, www.nfpaonline.com,or use the appropriate form in this issue of the NATIONALADVOCATE. See Page 27 for more Hotel information... www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #22 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. 2011 Na onal Foster Parent Educa on Conference Na onal Foster Parent Associa on ^^^^^^^^ Conference Registra on Informa on ^^^^^^^^ OR Register on-line at h p://www.nfpaonline.com/conference2011 March 2011 March The Awards Breakfast Buffet, one Luncheon and a Con nental Breakfast are included in the registra on fee. PLEASE PRINT Name Address City State Zip Code Phone ( ) E-mail Is this the first me you are a ending a NFPA Conference? Yes ______No ______Register Rate Indicate # to Register At This Rate Individual NFPA Member $185 Individual NON-NFPA Member $220 To t a l # $ Additional Tickets Needed For ... Indicate If You Will Be Attending Event Number of Tickets Amount Saturday First Time Attenders Meeting Luncheon @ $30 # $ each Saturday PM Meet & Greet Reception Breakfast Buffet @ # $ $25 Saturday Luncheon Continental Breakfast # $ Sunday Awards Breakfast @ $15 each Buffet To t a l $ Monday Continental Breakfast Send this registra on form, with check made payable to NFPA or credit card informa on to: NFPA , 2021 East Hennepin, Ave, #320, Minneapolis, MN 55413-1865 Credit card: Visa ____ Master Card ___ American Express ____ Other ______Account # ______Exp. Date / /____ 3 digit security code Name as it appears on credit card (Please print) Your signature www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #23 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Exhibitor Opportunities Interested in being an exhibitor at the 41st National Education Conference? For more information, please refer to the document below. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION ^^^^^^^^ Exhibit Informa on ^^^^^^^^ Each exhibit space will be 10’ A draped table and 2 chairs will be set up in each space Electricity is available for an addi onal fee of $25 Exhibit area will be open for 2 full days, including evenings and 1 half day Rates per exhibit table: - $250 - $125 (non-profits) Addi onal tables available at the above rates Deadline for exhibit requests: May 1, 2011 Requests for exhibit space are to be sent to: Sue Dondiego 565 Oak Island Circle Plant City, FL 33565 March 2011 March Phone: (908) 307-5196 E-mail: suefafsfl@earthlink.net www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #24 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Sponsorship Opportunities NFPA also offers an opportunity for recognition as a sponsor. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION ^^^^^^^^ 2011 NFPA Educa on Conference Sponsors ^^^^^^^^ Pla num: $35,000 – Conference Luncheon Gold: $25,000 – Awards Breakfast Brunch Silver: $15,000 - Con nental Breakfast/Speaker fee Major sponsors will receive a complimentary full page colored ad in the On-site Guide, recogni on through a press release in a major newspaper in the area of their choice, and four invita ons to the luncheon, breakfast brunch or Con nental breakfast. Make check payable to: NFPA Send to: Sue Dondiego, 565 Oak Island Circle, Plant City, FL 33565 Contact: Sue Dondiego (908) 307-5196 suefafsfl@earthlink.net Sponsor Opportunities $2,500 Benefits *Underwrite printing cost of On-Site Guide *Full page colored Ad in the On-site Guide *Recognition through a press release in an area newspaper of your choice $2,500 Benefits *Underwrite cost of refreshments for Meet & Greet *Full page colored Ad in the On-site Guide *Recognition through a press release in an area newspaper of your choice $1,500 Benefits *Underwrite exhibit costs for the NFPA Booth *Half-page colored Ad in the On-site Guide $1,500 Benefits *Underwrite Hospitality Room/ Refreshments for workshop presenters *Half-page colored Ad in the On-site Guide $1,000 Benefits *Underwrite printing cost for daily Conference Newsletter *Acknowledgment in the On-Site Guide $500 Benefits *Underwrite the cost of Plaques for Awards *Acknowledgement in the On-Site Guide $500 Benefits *Underwrite the cost of Table Decorations for the Luncheon and Awards Brunch *Acknowledgement in the On-site Guide $500 Benefits *Donate to Student Scholarships or Scholarships for Foster Parents who need Financial Assistance *Acknowledgement in the On-site Guide www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #25 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Derek Clark - Keynote Derek Clark’s story is one of resilience and redemption. Derek spent 13 years in the foster care system. Before entering foster care, Derek suffered unthinkable child abuse, abandonment and emotional distress, Derek knows first hand on how to cope with adversity and overcoming hardship. His past reflects a life of humiliation, aggression, emotional distress and overwhelming anxiety. He has experienced the life of fear and rejection and much more. At five years old Derek’s mother and stepfather turned him over to the county social services but kept his brother and sister. Derek felt as if he had been deleted from his family. His father was in prison for the criminally insane. Psychiatric reports stated that at the age of five years old, Derek had severe behavioral problems and fascinations of extreme violence and death. Neurological reports stated that at six years old, he had the IQ of a two and a half year old and diagnosed him with erratic psychosis. Having also been misdiagnosed as mentally handicapped and having numerous emotional and language difficulties, Derek never gave up. With the help of his foster parents and mentors, he has defied the artificial limitations imposed upon him. This has never held Derek back from accomplishing what he set his heart and mind to. From owning a very successful corporation to having a family, his maxim is to make no excuses. Derek Clark is an inspiring speaker/trainer, singer/songwriter and the author of the I Will Never Give Up book series. Derek has over 100 tracks on iTunes. His true-life trials and personal triumphs have inspired organizations throughout the United States and Canada with his powerful message of hope and unwavering perseverance. He has been featured in numerous radio shows in many major U.S. cities, newspaper articles, and television. He has performed his music for some very famous people including the President of the United States. He has been featured with Lance Armstrong, Michael Phelps, Johnny Depp, Tyler Perry, Brad Pitt, Tyra Banks and U2 as “People Who Roar” by Roar Clothing. He unleashes his creative energy in a never-ending effort to ignite passion in others and instill the courage to never give up. His maxim is to make no excuses and become what you want to become. He has turned his situation from a victim to a victor, equipping him with the Wisdom and the Will to Never Give Up. To find out more about Derek Clark and his inspiring programs, visit www.IWillNeverGiveUp.com and www.NeverLimitYourLife.com www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #26 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION 2011 NFPA Educa on Conference HOTEL AND TRAVEL INFORMATION The Renaissance Mobile Riverview Plaza Hotel is located at 64 South Water Street in Mobile, Alabama. Room rate (single or double) is $99 Reserva ons: http://tinyurl.com/nfpa-conf-reserv When the site comes up, click on the red Find Bu on, then click next to the $99 rate and put in the informa on. Reserva ons by phone: (251) 438-4000. Ask for “in house reserva ons”. You must say you are with the NFPA group to get the $99 rate. Travel: Three airports provide jet service to the Mobile area; Mobile Regional Airport, Pensacola Regional Airport and Gulfport-Biloxi Interna onal Airport. The Mobile Regional airport is about 25 minutes from the hotel. Mobile Bay Transporta on provides airport shu le service. Current rates are $18 per person, one way. Reserva ons are required and can be made by calling 1-800-272-6234. Ask for the 2011 rate when making your reserva on. Pensacola Regional Airport and Gulfport-Biloxi Interna onal Airport are approximately 45 minutes from the hotel but may be a good op on for those planning on ren ng a car. The hotel has self and valet parking. Self parking is the 1541 space parking garage adjoining the hotel and offers secure, covered parking. The daily rate is $12. Valet parking is available for $17 daily and allows for in/out privileges. www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #27 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION 2011 NFPA Educa on Conference ^^^^^^^^Awards Nomina on Form for Foster Family of the Year ^^^^^^^^ Date Person submi ng nomina on: Name Phone ( ) Address City State Zip code NFPA membership number Family being nominated: Name Phone ( ) Address City State Zip code NFPA membership number Name and phone number of local newspaper, radio and TV sta on for publicity purposes. Newspaper Phone ( ) Radio/TV Phone ( ) On separate sheets of paper please provide the following: - Narra ve and other special informa on that qualifies the nominee for an award - Suppor ng le ers and documents from agency, foster parents, children or community 2011 March - Le er from child placing agency sta ng that nominee is home in good standing Nomina ons must be received by May 1, 2011. E-mail to: suefafsfl@earthlink.net Or mail original and 3 copies to: Sue Dondiego, 565 Oak Island Circle, Plant City, FL 33565 www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #28 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NATIONAL FOSTER PARENT ASSOCIATION 2011 NFPA Educa on Conference ^^^^^^^^ Awards nomina on for State Foster Parent Associa on of the Year ^^^^^^^^ Date Person submi ng nomina on: Name Phone ( ) Address City State Zip code NFPA membership number Foster Parent Associa on being nominated: (Must be a State Affiliate member of NFPA) Name of Associa on President’s name Phone ( ) Address City State Zip code Name and phone number of local newspaper, radio and TV for publicity purposes. Newspaper Phone ( ) Radio/TV Phone ( ) On separate sheets of paper please provide the following: - Narra ve and other special informa on that qualifies the nominee for an award - Suppor ng le ers and documents from agency, foster parents and others March 2011 March Nomina ons must be received by May 1, 2011. E-mail to: suefafsfl@earthlink.net Or mail original and 3 copies to: Sue Dondiego, 565 Oak Island Circle. Plant City, FL 33565 www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #29 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #30 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Click on the NFPA Membership state you are interested in to go to their Foster /Adoptive Foster Parent web site. , March 2011 March New Jersey D.C. 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Alicia’s father was present I would have strangled him with my bare hands. Facing the Truth After I finished bathing her, I got a knot in my throat and an eerie feeling. I sat in the living room, When my daughter told me she was thinking, “Why is this happening? Why does she have to go through sexually abused, I listened. this?” I started crying. I decided I needed a beer, so I took one and then BY ROSITA PAGAN (Names have been changed.) another. That night I must have drunk six or eight beers. I felt good for January 16, 1998 was a cold night. I was in my living room talking with the first time in months. my teenage daughter, Lyzette, when Alicia, who was 5, came out of her The beer made me forget feeling down. bedroom and told me, “Mommy, I’m tired.” “OK, go to bed, sweetie,” I ‘What Good Am I?’ said. “No, Mommy,” she said, “I’m tired of being Daddy’s wife.” The next day when Alicia came home from school, I drank while That instant I felt numb, shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. watching her. As the months passed my drinking got heavier and heavier, Alicia repeated herself and I started to cry. Lyzette, her face full of tears, to the point that I couldn’t function without having a beer first. I began said, “I was afraid that someday he would try something with her.” to think it didn’t matter if I was drunk or sober. I hadn’t been able to How Could I Not Have Seen? protect my children, and I couldn’t help them to recover, so what good Lyzette and I had been through this before, when Alicia was just 3 was I? months old. Lyzette had come to me and told me that, my husband had About a year later, the foster care system took my children from me. gone into her room and felt her legs up while I slept. That day, I told him It’s a long story what happened when my children got taken away. The that he had two choices—he could walk out the door, or fly out the nightmare of sexual abuse had turned into a worse nightmare—the window. I believed Alicia’s father had targeted Lyzette because she was nightmare of being absolutely unable to protect my kids. Finally I was not his daughter, so I didn’t think he was a threat to Alicia, his biological sent to detox and to rehab upstate. Once I’d been sober for a month or child. Still, I wouldn’t let Alicia’s father see her. He went to court and filed so, I started feeling better about myself and began to believe I could get a petition for custody. I told my lawyer what Alicia’s father had done to my life back on track. I told myself, “I have to get my family back. I’m not Lyzette, but he didn’t bring it up, and I didn’t tell the judge myself worthless. I can accomplish things if I make an effort.” because I didn’t want to start a huge fight in court. I feared that might Therapists Who Didn’t Help hurt my case. The judge ordered me to allow Alicia to visit him on The first foster mother had the girls for one year, but during that time, weekends. no one told her that Alicia had been sexually abused. The foster mother Haunted by My Past couldn’t handle Alicia’s sexual acting out. She was a religious person and When Alicia confronted me with the truth, I wished I’d told the judge she couldn’t believe that a little girl would act that way. what had happened to Lyzette. I felt so conflicted and guilty. I didn’t The caseworker took Alicia to therapy, but she didn’t tell the therapist know what to do to help my daughters so I just hugged them both. It about the abuse, either. The doctor diagnosed Alicia with Attention wouldn’t ease the pain but I wanted to let them know that I’d always be Deficit Disorder (ADD) and treated her for that. there for Finally, Proper Care them. That When my children moved to a second foster home, the mother under- night, I stood the signs. She asked me, “Has Alicia ever been molested?” “Yes,” I couldn’t said. “Why are you asking me this question?” “Because Alicia does some sleep. All sexual things that are strange for a girl her age,” she told me. But she that ran didn’t know how to handle her behavior, either. Whenever she saw Alicia through my touching herself, she would tell Alicia to stand in a corner for a long time. mind was, Neither of the first two therapists that Alicia saw were able to help her “How could he?” I felt worthless as a mother. I believed I should have at all, but I was sure someone could. Once my girls came home I went to seen the signs, especially because my uncle raped me when I was about the North-side Center in Harlem and explained to the intake person 6 years old. (I didn’t know then that people who’ve been abused that Alicia was molested and had ADD. themselves often don’t recognize the signs of abuse in their children.) The social worker who did an evaluation told me Alicia didn’t have The pain I felt being raped as a child came back to me when I thought ADD, she was just dealing with the trauma of being abused. Finally, she about what my daughter had been through. I knew I didn’t want to began to get the proper care. respond the way my mother did— she didn’t believe me. Being raped Alicia was seen by a social worker, Susan, who took the time to earn haunted me for a long time. I had thought the distrust and fear that I’d Alicia’s trust. That helped Alicia open up and speak about the abuse. Alicia felt from being raped was behind me. But my fears came back when felt comfortable with Susan. She looked forward to seeing her every Alicia told me she was molested. I thought, “Is this ever going to end? Friday. She would tell me, “Mom, today I’m going to visit Susan and we Will it just go on from generation to generation?” Although I felt despair are going to talk and play. I like Susan a lot.” that night, I knew that I had to do whatever Alicia and Lyzette needed Trust and Understanding me to do to help them heal. I wouldn’t do what my mother did. I was At every session, Susan would give me a note explaining Alicia’s determined to stop that cycle. progress, and twice a month we would meet as a family. In her notes, Strange Behaviors Susan would explain what she asked Alicia and how Alicia responded. After Alicia told me she’d been abused, I noticed that she began to act Susan asked her, “Why do you feel you have to touch yourself?” strangely. When she was playing alone, she would lay down her stuffed “Because sometimes it feels good.” “What if you don’t touch yourself? animals, get on top of them and start humping them like a man would How do you feel?” “I feel bored.” One practical thing Susan suggested make love to a woman. That freaked me out. I didn’t know then that it is was that I keep Alicia occupied by asking her to do chores, reminding her common for girls who’ve been sexually abused to “act out” like that. to read a book, or giving her questions to answer. Susan also suggested Alicia also started to touch herself. One night when she was in the bath, I that we could grow closer if I just made conversation with Alicia. I started noticed that she was very quiet. I went to check on her and saw her to ask her, “Did you make any friends today? How was school? What touching her private area. I screamed and she got scared. “What are you did you eat for lunch?” doing?” I said. I didn’t mean to embarrass her, but I couldn’t believe that a 5 year old was capable of masturbating. Alicia told me, “What the lady does on TV.” I wondered, “Was he having her watch porn?” I felt that if www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #32 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. A Little Girl Again consequences to the rest of the family if they were to tell, and they feel She also suggested that, because touching herself was something they need to protect their family. But their behaviors show the abuse. Alicia felt she had to do, I shouldn’t leave her alone for long periods of Kids can also be abused in their foster homes, where they become time, including when she showered. Over time, she thought Alicia’s accessible to a variety of adults—including group home staff, or older impulse to touch herself would calm down and that she would be able children in the home—who sometimes will take advantage of a kid to return to being a little girl. That way she could safely explore her who they think is powerless. Many times children in foster care really sexuality once she got older. do feel powerless and isolated, so they don’t speak up. Some are so Those eight months Alicia went to North-side helped her cope with desperate for connection and relationship that sexual abuse seems to her feelings. She stopped the sexual behaviors and she learned not to give them the attention and nurturance they crave, even though it is be afraid to talk to me, regardless of the topic. Now she even asks me actually abusive. It’s a tragic consequence of the system that doesn’t questions about sex at times, and I explain the answers to her without make them safer. feeling upset about the past. Teen girls in care also are particularly vulnerable to getting into We Both Had to Heal relationships with older men or getting drawn into prostitution or Alicia’s therapy helped me feel more at ease. The sexual abuse other kinds of sexual exploitation. That can happen because early seemed to be having less of an impact on her day by day. It seemed like sexual abuse puts them at risk of developing sexually inappropriate my whole family was finally beginning to recover. relationships, and also because in care they may live in environments, Today, I feel like my family is not as marked by the abuse or by fear. like group homes or residential centers, where it seems that girls are I am proud of myself and my daughters. We broke the cycle of denial in really preyed upon by older males. my family. I faced what my daughters went through, and I faced my Once in care, kids with sexual abuse histories also are more likely to own past, too. be moved from placement to placement, because foster parents and My daughter needed therapy and I needed rehab to make me love caseworkers often misinterpret behaviors that are the result of the myself again and help me deal with negative feelings like shame, trauma, and become punitive towards kids for behaviors that the kids betrayal and worthlessness. But I believe that today my daughters and I may not have control over. are better off because we didn’t hide. We were strong enough to face A Family History the truth. Finally, many birth parents of children in foster care have experienced sexual abuse in their own lives. That can be an underlying reason why birth parents might get depressed or turn to drugs. When parents have never opened up about their abuse, or weren’t Family Secrets believed if they did, they learn a pattern of not allowing themselves to believe that it happened and could happen again. They also learn a Sexual abuse is common but often pattern of protecting the family from the system or from looking bad, instead of responding to the needs of the child. hidden. Sexual abuse is devastating, and has painful, traumatic effects on While few children enter foster care solely because of sexual abuse, children and their families. It can seem too painful and shameful to studies suggest that foster youth are twice as likely as other children to have experienced sexual abuse, whether at home or since entering the believe. So it’s natural to react by saying, “This can’t be happening,” and system. Lisa Lubell, director of the Child Sexual Abuse Education, Evaluation shut down against believing it, even when you know the truth. and Treatment Project at Lawyers for Children, talks about why: As difficult as it can be to support a child when she comes forward, The number of children in foster care who have been sexually it’s so important for parents to validate a child’s experience, report the abused is very high. There are many reasons for that. But basically, abuse to a professional and help the child recover. children whose parents are unable to care for them, or who are not living with their biological family, are vulnerable to being preyed upon. Alone and Afraid In biological homes where there’s neglect, the parents may not be too focused on the child because they’re so involved in their own struggles, whether it’s with mental illness, substance abuse or sometimes just survival. A parent’s lack of focus on the child, or lack of connection, can make the child more vulnerable to sexual abuse, because an abuser sees that the child is not protected. The parents may also not pick up the signs that something is wrong. Older kids sometimes come into care because of acting out behaviors that their parents can’t handle, and underlying those 2011 March behaviors is sexual abuse that the kids haven’t told their parents about. Common behaviors are running away, and symptoms of trauma that look like acting out, such as suicidal behaviors, self-cutting, aggression, fire setting, sexual behaviors (such as excessive masturbation or sexual play in younger children, or having many partners in older children) that are considered too advanced for their age or unacceptable to a parent. Usually the abuse was by a relative or someone who lives in the home—abuse is most commonly committed by people the kids know —and the kids have a real fear of disclosing the abuse to their parent. Kids fear that their parent’s loyalty will be to person who abused them, or they feel ashamed, or they’ve gotten a silent message from their Reprinted with permission from Rise, a magazine by and for parents affected by the child welfare system, www.risemagazine.org. parent not to talk about this kind of thing. They also fear the Copyright [date of print or web publication, e.g.. summer 2006 print edition or may 2007 web exclusive www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #33 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. Q: How can a parent help a child recover? A: It’s really important for the parent to provide a supportive ‘I’m Glad You atmosphere and to remind the child that they’re safe. Listen to your child, talk to her, and help your child go about her daily life. It’s important to keep up structure and routine, including school. Told Me’ Sometimes when there’s been a trauma and a family is stressed, routines get lost, but children really need structure. Parents naturally How to help your child (and yourself) want to protect their child even more, and it’s a fine balance. You want to show your child you will keep them safe, but also that they don’t have to recover from sexual abuse be afraid all of the time. Some children show sexually inappropriate behaviors. Children who are abused or raped also may have difficulty with maintaining appropriate boundaries because their own boundaries were violated. They may not know how to say no. Parents can talk with their children, including teenagers, about what is appropriate and inappropriate sexually. Karen D’Angelo, a clinical At times, young people can become promiscuous because they have psychologist at the Institute for trouble saying ‘no’ or maintaining their boundaries. We don’t want to Trauma and Resilience at the New York University Child Study blame them, but empower them to make their own decisions about their Center, explains how parents bodies and help them improve their self-esteem. can help their children recover It’s important for parents to realize their child will feel better and their from sexual abuse, and how life is not ruined. Children are resilient and most go on to have normal parents and kids can stay safe lives. physically and emotionally. Q: When should parents seek help for their children? A: Many times, it’s helpful to seek counseling. Parents can find out about Q: What are signs that a resources from school personnel, a doctor, a religious organization, or child may have been friends and family. If you see the symptoms described earlier persisting sexually abused? for more than a few weeks, it’s time to get help. A: Any sudden changes in behavior can be signs of trauma: suddenly When a child is in therapy, it’s always good for the parent to be having trouble in school, sleeping less or more, appetite changes, and involved. Therapists may see the child individually at times, and with the mood changes such as being sad or angry more, wanting to be around parent at other times. A therapist is helpful, but a supportive parent is the people more or less. child’s best resource. One of the best things a therapist can do is Specific to sexual abuse are some physical symptoms—any discomfort or empower the parents to take care of their child. itching in the genital area, not wanting to change clothes in front of certain A parent may feel similar emotions to their child: anger, guilt, sadness, or people, being uncomfortable with nudity, or not wanting to be around a they may blame themselves. A therapist can help both the parent and particular person. child. There are specific therapies that target the trauma itself and have If you notice your child spending a lot of time alone with one person, been shown to be effective. The specific techniques may vary, but or that someone is seeking them out, it’s appropriate to be concerned. trauma- focused therapy involves helping the child to talk about what Think carefully before leaving child alone with one adult. For childcare, happened, providing support, and teaching coping skills, not only related seek out group situations if possible. If a relationship is at all unsettling to to the abuse but to all stress. you, go with your instincts and be careful. Children and parents can learn to relax, regulate their emotions, and Q: How can parents help a child feel comfortable speaking cope with negative feelings—not avoid negative feelings, but express up about abuse? them without interfering in their ability to function and do well. A: There are many reasons why children feel they have to keep the Q: How can it affect a parent if she has her own history of abuse a secret. They may fear they’ll be blamed or not believed. They may sexual abuse? have a relationship with the abuser and care about that person and not A: When parents have also been victims of sexual abuse, it can be want him or her to be punished. The abuser may also threaten or difficult to separate their own feelings about their abuse from their child’s encourage a child not to tell, so they might be afraid of what could feelings. happen if they do in general, it’s always good to talk to your children It might help them understand what their child is going through. about their daily activities, feelings, concerns and problems. You want to However, it might also bring up create an environment where kids can talk to their parents. As a painful feelings. preventive measure, it’s good to tell your children, ‘If someone ever Parents who are struggling touches you or makes you feel uncomfortable, talk to me right away.’ with their own feelings might That helps children feel their parent would be open to hearing what’s want to seek their own happened and will be supportive. counseling to help them get Q: What’s a positive way to react if your child tells you back to a place where they they were sexually abused? can be the parent. Sometimes A: The most important thing is to believe what your child tells you and the best thing a parent can do reassure them it’s not their fault. Praise your child for telling you, saying, for their child is make sure “You’ve done the right thing, and I will take steps to keep you safe from they themselves are OK and now on.” Report the abuse and make sure the abuser no longer has supported. contact with the child. When you’re talking to the child about what happened, stay as calm as possible. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t express sadness or pain, but children are very sensitive about not wanting to upset their parents, and Reprinted with permission from Rise, a magazine by and for parents they may stop talking when they think the parent can’t handle it. affected by the child welfare system, www.risemagazine.org. Copyright [date of print or web publication, e.g.. summer 2006 print edition or may 2007 web exclusive www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #34 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. ,ĞůƉďƵŝůĚĂEĂƟŽŶĂůsŽŝĐĞĨŽƌ &ŽƐƚĞƌĂƌĞŝŶŵĞƌŝĐĂ dŚĞEĂƟŽŶĂů&ŽƐƚĞƌ WĂƌĞŶƚƐƐŽĐŝĂƟŽŶ dŚĞEĂƟŽŶĂů&ŽƐƚĞƌWĂƌĞŶƚƐƐŽĐŝĂƟŽŶŚĂƐƌĞƐƚƌƵĐƚƵƌĞĚ ĂŶĚŝƐŐƌŽǁŝŶŐ͘tĞǁŽƵůĚůŽǀĞƚŽŚĂǀĞLJŽƵĂƐƉĂƌƚŽĨŽƵƌ ĂƐƐŽĐŝĂƟŽŶ͊tĞŝŶǀŝƚĞLJŽƵƚŽũŽŝŶƵƐĂƐĂZĞŐƵůĂƌDĞŵďĞƌ ŽƌĂƐĂ&ƌŝĞŶĚŽĨE&W͘ WůĞĂƐĞŐŽƚŽŽƵƌǁĞďƐŝƚĞĨŽƌŵŽƌĞŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͗ www.NFPAonline.orgǁǁǁ͘E&WŽŶůŝŶĞ͘ĐŽŵ KƌƉŚŽŶĞƵƐĂƚϴϬϬͲϱϱϳͲϱϮϯϴ www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #35 NATIONALADVOCATE Mission Statement: To support foster parents in achieving safety, permanence and well-being for the children and youth in their care. NFPA President, Irene Clements 1102 Prairie Ridge Trail Pflugerville, TX 78660 March 2011 March The NFPA 2011 National Education Conference is scheduled for June 25-27, 2011. Visitors are welcome to attend June 23 and June 24 meetings of the Council of State Affiliates and the NFPA Board of Directors. Join us in Mobile, Alabama at the beautiful Renaissance Mobile Riverview Plaza Hotel (http://www.marriott.com/ hotels/travel/mobrv-renaissance-riverview-plaza-hotel) Mark the dates on your calendar and visit our web-site (www.nfpaonline.org) for more information. www.nfpaonline.org http://www.facebook.com/nationalfosterparentassociation Page #36