Jo Langford Making Smart Choices in a Wired World May 24 ’Cause Parenting Is a Trip! Parentmap.Com/ Lectures

Jo Langford Making smart choices in a wired world May 24 ’cause parenting is a trip! parentmap.com/ lectures

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MAY 2016 BODY AFTER BABY STORY OF LOVE LIKE SWIMMERS ‘Mommy makeovers’ fix Why we need to celebrate Lisa Damour’s 7 stages of family adventures! postpartum problems 36 all mothers, all year 39 growing teens into adults 48 GUIDE INSIDE KIDS! STOP BY THE NORTHWEST FOLKLIFE FESTIVAL’S EXPLORATION HOT SPOT – THE DISCOVERY ZONE! IT’S PACKED WITH PERFORMANCES, WORKSHOPS, AND HANDS-ON ACTIVITIES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE! PRESENTED BY SEATTLE CANCER CARE ALLIANCE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND · MAY 27-30, 2016 · SEATTLE CENTER NO ADMISSION CHARGE THANKS TO YOUR DONATIONS. SUGGESTED DAILY DONATION $10 inside

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Feature Regulars 10 THE PUSH FOR PAID LEAVE 46 11–14 There’s a vaccine that 6 DEAR READER Will Washington workers be next? prevents cancer So why don’t Let’s raise our voices for paid family leave more kids get it? 8 PARENT FUEL Parenting 48 13–18 Untangling teen girl Family news, snack-sized 4 PARENTMAP.COM emotions Lisa Damour on the Mother’s Day DIY, bike outings seven transitions to adulthood for all ages, kid podcasts 36 WELLNESS The core problem: Is a ‘mommy Advertising Sections makeover’ right for you? 12–23 Camps + activities 39 FULL PLATE King County Library System: Celebrating all the mothers 25–28 Summer reading program 50 SOMEONE YOU 41–42 Schools + preschools SHOULD KNOW 51 Foreign language resources Liliana Lengua

COVER / FEATURE ILLUSTRATION: EMILY JOHNSON Out + About 30 PACK (A PICNIC) AND PLAY 7 spots for a perfect spring spread 24+29 MAY CALENDAR Ages + Stages 40 0–2 Is your baby a musical prodigy? The answer is yes! 43 2–10 Emoji Shakespeare?! family adventures! How to introduce classic GUIDE INSIDE literature to your children

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 3 ParentMap navigate great stuff daily! May 2016, Vol. 14, No. 5 PUBLISHER/EDITOR Alayne Sulkin EDITORIAL EXECUTIVE EDITOR Natalie Singer-Velush OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Elisa Murray ASSISTANT EDITOR Elisabeth Kramer CALENDAR EDITOR Nancy Chaney PROOFREADER Sunny Parsons CONTRIBUTORS Nancy Schatz Alton, Bryony Angell, Will Austin, Michael Berry, Fiona Cohen, Caitlin Flynn, Malia Jacobson, Kristen Russell, Angela Stowell PARENTMAP.COM SOCIAL MEDIA + DIGITAL PRODUCTS MANAGER Rory Graves PUBLISHING ASSISTANT Nicole Persun ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS Ida Wicklund Dani Carbary AD OPERATIONS MANAGER Elisa Taylor SALES + MARKETING SUPPORT MANAGER Go on: Jessica Collet SALES ASSISTANT Amanda Brown Make MARKETING/EVENTS EVENT OPERATIONS Tara Buchan her day EVENT + MARKETING COORDINATOR Are we there yet? Mallory Dehbod Never hear that question again thanks to this handy This Mother’s Day (May 8) break out EVENTS ASSISTANT Zoe Bloom COMMUNICATIONS ASSISTANT Christina Boyer roundup of podcasts and storytelling CDs. Good road trip the craft glue. These easy DIY projects ART + PRODUCTION listening for both you and the kids, these audio wonders will take the stress out of this year’s DESIGN + PRODUCTION, PRINT MAGAZINE Emily Johnson include professional scientists on Brains On! and Twlight family festivities. All 25 ideas are kid- DESIGN + PRODUCTION, MARKETING + DIGITAL Zone-level suspense for tweens and teens on Welcome to friendly and parent-approved. Try them Amy Chinn ADMINISTRATION Night Vale. Tune in at parentmap.com/podcasts. at parentmap.com/mothers-day. BUSINESS MANAGER Sonja Hanson OPERATIONS MANAGER Carolyn Brendel ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT + DISTRIBUTION Angela Goodwin ACCOUNTING ASSISTANT Lorraine Otani More PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD Nursing some Benjamin Danielson, M.D. ODESSA BROWN CHILDREN’S CLINIC appreciation Joan DuffellCOMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN Know a nurse? Give him or John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE her a hug this National Nurses PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Day (May 6). If our recent look at Laura Kastner, Ph.D. school nurse staffing taught us PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON anything, it’s that we could almost Bea Kelleigh all use more nurses. Read more at VICE PRESIDENT AT DOVETAILING, LLC Yaffa Maritz, M.A. parentmap.com/nurses. LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTS Ron Rabin THE KIRLIN FOUNDATION Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MINDSIGHT INSTITUTE

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4 • May 2016 • parentmap.com CHEESY EGG BOATS PCC Chef Jackie Freeman takes the TasteMobile on a field trip to visit some backyard chickens! It’s a fun way to highlight PCC’s commitment to organic, local egg producers before making easy, extremely popular Cheesy Egg Boats with her young helpers, watch the video Lily and Fiona. This delicious scan the QR code below meal is equally suitable for breakfast, lunch or dinner, and adults will love it every bit as much as the kids do. Slices are also handy for eating on the go when you’re hit with a time crunch! Find the video and recipe at pccnaturalmarkets.com/ healthykids.

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Let’s raise our voices for paid family leave

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead

other’s Day is often marked with varying degrees of joy, angst and longing. Like most who have lost their mothers, I desperately yearn to M steal back a flicker of time with my beloved mother. I wish I knew more All new parents need a about her choices, joys, challenges, motivations and sorrows. I wish she had more community to support them. time with her five extraordinary grandchildren: Arielle, Eli, Simon, Sophie and Maya. The emotional pendulum of Mother’s Day can swing from the nostalgic • Parent Child Counseling heart pulls of our memories to the blissed-out gift of being luxuriously revitalized • Parenting Consultation by an Ayurveda wrap supporting our quest for balance. (Ask for it and you just • Listening Mother Groups for Moms & Babies may in fact avoid the annual tumultuous and boisterous brunch in favor of a spa • Bringing Baby Home Workshops trip!) Blessedness resides in all of it. Pictured is my inside-and-out lovely 14-year-old adorning her size 9.5 pink Learn more about how Wellspring’s New Parents Services Converse that will grace the cover of the upcoming Spare Me ‘The Talk’! A Girl’s is helping adults and couples transition to parenthood. Guide to Sex, [oy!] Relationships, and Growing Up. This sister title to author and veteran sex educator Jo Langford’s successful A Guy’s Guide goes www.wellspringfs.org/counseling • [email protected] places no other book has journeyed. I deserve a solid D minus for my repeated failures in communicating with my kids around these sensitive but vital issues that will better ensure their safety NowGet Open Help in Issaquah! Now! — emotional, mental and physical. I am taking the oath to share this unflinchingly honest (and often funny!) book to help my PREVENT SUMMER SLIDE • ADHD • AUTISM • DYSLEXIA • ENRICHMENT youngest, Maya, navigate the danger-

B’s & C’s in school, Different Challenges, laden world of teenage sex and sexuality but wants to go Di erent to college Challenges,One Solution. in the digital age. (Don’t miss OneThe potential Solution. is there. Langford’s riveting, May 24 lecture, Has a hard time LearningRx can help your “One Click Away: Encouraging Smart with attention repare your child for any challenge child achieve it. & focus with cognitive skills training from Choices in a Wired World” at Seattle PrepareLearningRx. your We child specialize for in any helping kids overcome learning Children’s.) Smart & hardworking, challengePstruggles. Unlike withschool, ourcognitive program but struggles with I’m also taking the oath to get the reading and homework skillsSTARTS withtraining a test—a diagnosticfrom LearningRx.assessment that pinpoints We despecialize cient word out about paid family leave. This inlearning helping skills. Then kids we customize overcome a 12 to 24 year, we need a humongous number of week brain training program to strengthen learning struggles. Our your child’s ability to read, think, study citizens to raise their voices in order for program starts with an and learn. No amount of tutoring will paid family leave to become law in assessmentimprove performance that the way pinpoints LearningRx deficientdoes. Students averagelearning a 4-year skills. Washington state. As part of our Making It improvement in underlying learning Studentsand reading skills average and results a 3-year Work mission-driven content, “The Push improvementare guaranteed. in underlying for Paid Leave” (p. 10) will inform and learning and reading skills. drive you to action. Whether you elevate these fundamental life issues within your Summerwww Programs. learningrx still .available.com/issaquah CALL NOW! workplace or family, whether you email 50% off an initial LearningRx NW Gilman Blvd.90 your candidate or legislator or post on Cognitive Skills Assessment Package. Facebook, your voice needs to be Testing regularly pricedNewport Way NW at $300. heard! Front St. N St. Front E Sunset Way Call WILL AUSTIN LearningRx-Issaquah (425) 657-0908 (425) 657-0908LearningRx 195 NE Gilman Blvd., Suite 100 and schedule your child’s assessment today! O //www.learningrx.com/issaquahIssaquah, WA 98027 Offer expires 9/30/09 www.LearningRx.com/Issaquah

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PARENT FUEL family news, snack-sized

Chartered territory Charter schools just survived a tough battle in our state, thanks to a rare move by Gov. Jay Inslee, who refused to veto or sign Senate Bill 6194, allowing it to become law without his signature. The bill funds the schools using state lottery proceeds rather than the state’s general fund. Last fall, the state Supreme Court ruled our state’s charter schools unconstitutional because they’re publicly Gym rats funded but run by private, unelected If you hate hauling it to the gym, you might boards and therefore are ineligible for tax have your mother to blame. Researchers money. Inslee opposes charters, saying studying mice have found that those born to they take resources away from public mothers that were physically active during schools — but despite what he called pregnancy were 50 percent more physically “deep reservations,” he stopped short of active themselves, compared with mice whose shuttering the schools. moms were couch mice. This may indicate Empowering D students that we are programmed to either love or hate working out before we’re even born! our kids “Demystifies myths . . . A vitamin D deficiency in early delivers information that Face it: The internet adolescent girls can access pregnancy may as much as double over and over again.” Sibling revelry —Julie Metzger, R.N., M.N. can be a great Co-founder Great Conversations a child’s risk of developing multiple Toddlers, listen up: That pesky younger resource until, well, sclerosis (MS) later in life, according brother might just be good for your health! it’s not. How do we to a new Harvard study. Researchers A new study in the journal Pediatrics finds help set practical identified nearly 200 people who have that becoming a big brother or sister before boundaries for our been diagnosed with MS whose mothers hitting first grade lowers a child’s chances of kids in a digital were part of a study back in 2011; they found a 90 percent higher risk of MS becoming obese. Kids who don’t have a younger world? And how do Spare Me among children whose mothers were brother or sister were almost three times more those boundaries ‘The Talk’! vitamin D deficient during pregnancy. likely to be obese by the time they were in first intersect with A Girl’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up grade. Researchers say they’re not sure yet sexuality and Flu vaccine news JO LANGFORD, M.A. exactly why this is true, but they think more relationships? That’s And while you’re at it, talk to your doc “Sex education not only informs, it protects. Langford provides vital information to girls . . . if they know about active play and less screen time might be a factor the topic of therapist such things as sexual coercion and unhealthy relationships, they are more likely to be well-adjusted young women!” ,, about getting a flu shot — you might cause parenting is a trip! —Laura Kastner, Ph.D., author of cause parenting is a trip! once there’s a younger and sex educator Getting to Calm and Wise-Minded Parenting be preventing more than the flu. New sib to play with. n Jo Langford’s latest front cover for emily.indd 1 4/18/16 9:24 AM research out of Australia has found a — Kristen Russell book, Spare Me the Talk! The Girl’s Guide to possible link between the flu vaccine and lower Sex, Relationships and Growing Up. It’s also rates of stillbirth. The study found that women the focus of his upcoming lecture “One Click who received the flu vaccine during pregnancy Away: Encouraging smart choices in a wired were 51 percent less likely to experience a stillbirth world.” Grab a ticket now for this Tuesday, than pregnant women who went without the shot. May 24, event at Seattle Children’s Hospital. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Tickets and details at parentmap.com/ recommends that almost everyone — including langford. pregnant women — get a flu vaccine every year.

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10 • May 2016 • parentmap.com Will Washington workers be next? By Nancy Schatz Alton

hen Beth* had her first two children, her employer’s paid family leave policy covered her family’s expenses while she took time off to W recover and bond with her infants. Not having to worry about a gap in income meant she could focus on her maternity leave. But when she gave birth to her third child, Beth was working for a different company that did not offer a paid family leave policy. Still, she and her husband felt they could manage some debt in order to take unpaid time off. Then, Beth was diagnosed with cancer just days before her baby’s first birthday. During the following year of cancer treatments, the family’s expenses piled up, along with their debt, as Beth took more unpaid time away from work. Beth says that having a paid leave policy, either for maternity leave or to cover her cancer-related leave, would have better situated her and her family for her health crisis. “We’re still digging out of debt,” says Beth, who is now cancer-free. For many employees, starting a family impacts the trajectory of their career and their family’s economic story in ways both foreseen and unanticipated. The way that an employee eases (or staggers) into parenthood creates ripple effects that can be felt for years, even decades, by families, workplaces, entire industries and our society. Research shows that parents who receive paid leave from work to recover from childbirth and raise their babies reap long-term benefits: When new moms are afforded paid maternity leave, they have fewer health complications and are more likely to be working and earning more money one year after the birth of their child, which leads to better economic, academic and social outcomes for children later on. It’s also been found that babies receive better preventive care when moms are given paid leave. When fathers have access to paid leave, they are more likely to take leave and are more involved in the direct care of their children. Paid leave actually improves businesses’ bottom lines, reduces stress among employees and improves morale among the employees who take leave and their coworkers. “Paid family leave is the No. 1 policy that improves health and economic outcomes for all people. Even though we live in the world’s richest country, the wealthiest people here are dying earlier than in other countries. Our infant

*Names changed for privacy parentmap.com • May 2016 • 11 CAMPS feature Water Safety & Survival Camp Killoqua

Day and resident camp sessions for kids in grades K-12. The push for paid family leave Caring staff, continued from page 11 exciting programs, Free adventures mortality ranks 37th worldwide,” handful of states that have led the Bonus Classes! every day! says Teresa Mosqueda, political and charge launching paid family leave, Enroll online or strategic campaign director for the Washington state is on the cusp of call 425-318-7390 425 258 KIDS Washington State Labor Council, something big. BritishSwimSchool.com www.campkilloqua.org Located in Burien • Use code: ParentMap AFL-CIO. “All of society benefits So what does this possible change from paid family leave, not just the — a major upgrade to our lives that people who are taking the leave.” would affect attorneys, kindergarten Yet despite these known benefits, teachers and grocery clerks alike — the United States is one of only two need to move from imagination to countries with no national paid implementation? You. maternity leave for mothers (96 countries also offer paid paternity The ABCs of leave). The federal Family and family leave policy Medical Leave Act (FMLA) ensures There are three ways a Washington unpaid family leave for eligible state worker could receive paid employees, but family leave. this guarantee is The federal available to fewer Sign online government than 50 percent could pass of workers. And petitions a national it’s unpaid. What Sign up for alerts from program; this 0216_cornish_1-8h.indd 1 1/11/16 1:07 PMdoes this mean the Washington Work possibility on the ground? and Family Coalition ! will be shaped RS OF SUMMER FUN One-quarter of YEA (waworkandfamily.org). by this fall’s working mothers The longer that list presidential will have to grows, the more emails and national return to work legislators receive. congressional within two weeks election of bringing a results. The new child home. One-quarter of all Washington State Legislature poverty spells in our country stem could pass and fund a state paid from the act of having a baby. family leave benefit, such as the While efforts to establish a current proposed insurance national paid parental leave law program. Or the worker’s employer have so far failed, progress is Learning & Enrichment could have its own paid leave happening in both the private sector June 20 – benefit. As employers such as Outdoor Education and at the state legislative level. Microsoft, Amazon and Adobe Performing Arts Hear this, Washington state parents: August 26 have implemented model policies, Our turn could be right around Fine Arts pressure for a state program that the corner. Advocates say this state 3 – 14 years old Sports reaches more employees has is closer than ever to passing a grown. Day Camps program that would, quite literally, “We used to read about paid change the way workers from family leave in the lifestyle sections Find registration information online: www.evergreenschool.org Seattle to Spokane, from Kirkland of magazines, and now it’s front- to Kennewick, become parents and page news. Awareness around 1520115201 MMerMeridianidian AAveAvenuenue NN, ShShorelineoreliline 9981338133 navigate both family life and work THE EVERGREEN SCHOOL this issue has grown immensely 206-364-2650 | www.evergreenschool.org life after that milestone. Like the

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spring & summer camps and as a result, we’re seeing more standing on the ledge and we never Acting • Singing • Musical Theatre • Dance paid family leave bills moving in could make it happen,” says Rep. Enrolling now: © Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes state legislatures,” says Maggie June Robinson, D-Everett, House (425) 827-6288 Humphreys, the Washington sponsor of the FAMLI Act. [email protected] state organizer for MomsRising Robinson says that in the LindamoodBell.com VillageKidstage.org (momsrising.org), an organization interim, advocates have worked of more than 1 million people behind the scenes, and the private agitating for economic security for sector has made progress. “The 0415_lindamood_bell_1-16.indd 1 3/12/15 10:31 AM all moms, women and families. good news is that individual “We’re building on this momentum businesses are doing it on their and working closely with our own . . . [now] we are starting to partners to poise Washington state build a groundswell of support for passage of a strong family and and we will see if it is possible medical leave policy in 2017.” [statewide].” It’s not advocates’ first time at Advocates say now is the time this rodeo. The current Family to make our and Medical voter voices Leave Insurance Pressure heard in (FAMLI) Act politicians Olympia. failed to get a Four states hearing on either It’s going to a take a already have floor of the sense of urgency and paid family state Legislature pressure from citizens to leave policies during the 2016 turn a proposal into state in place: session. If passed, law. Ask your elected California, the law would politicians and candidates: New Jersey, provide up to 12 “Will you support paid Rhode Island weeks of leave at leave?” and most two-thirds of an recently employee’s pay to New York. care for a new child or a seriously Hawaii has a workers’ disability ill family member, and 12 weeks insurance that covers pregnancy for the worker’s own serious health and childbirth. Other states, condition. Since 1999, various proposals including Massachusetts and for a paid family leave law have Connecticut, have paid family come before legislators in Olympia. leave bills proposed now, and It seemed that momentum and advocates in quite a few other Register now for awareness were building, and in states are looking at 2017 as the 2007, a version of the bill was year to push new legislation. New unique summer camps signed into law — but without the York’s new program is the most for kids ages 3-14! funding attached. Then, the Great comprehensive state family leave Recession arrived in 2008. policy in the U.S., with 12 weeks www.zoo.org/summercamp “The framework was passed, of paid leave available to workers and then we hit the terrible budget (Washington, D.C.’s tax plan, years and we still haven’t recovered currently proposed, would offer 16 from that. In a way, we were paid weeks if passed). >>

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 13 CAMPS feature KIDSKKIDS & TEETEENSNS ages 6-186-18 registerregister The push for paid family leave todatoday!y! continued from page 13 “Red and blue states alike are

Groundwork moving family economic security policies — like paid family leave, already laid sick days, child care and fair pay — Humphreys likes to say that 2015 forward. While partisan gridlock was the year that the question of paid is all too common in Congress family leave for all became not if, but

uth right now, polling for these policies when. o

Y is sky high with real people of all That May, the City of Seattle began offering four weeks of paid parties. These types of policies parental leave (PPL). That August, are what pass at the city, county Microsoft bumped up its PPL plan and state levels when we raise to 20 weeks for new mothers and 12 our voices together, because they weeks for dads and non-birth parents boost families, businesses and the in the U.S. That November, Amazon economy,” says Kristin Rowe- announced a new family leave policy GERMAN Finkbeiner, executive director/CEO that gave new fathers paid time off IMMERSION and cofounder of MomsRising. GageAcademy.org/Youth for the first time PRESCHOOL, ELEMENTARY, AFTERSCHOOL PROGRAMS, “It takes a whole in the company’s SPRING AND SUMMER CAMPS bunch of people Talk with history while A:11010 Greenwood Ave N, Seattle, WA 98133 to make wins, SUMMER YOUTH PROGRAMS SEATTLE AREA GERMAN AMERICAN SCHOOL boosting a birth P:(206) 442-2023 sagaschool.org family but people are mother’s PPL stepping up and Talk about paid family to 20 weeks. speaking out. We leave as a family issue That December, SM16_saga_1-16.indd 1 1/15/16 11:04 AM are the antidote to instead of a women’s the King cynicism.” issue, calling on men to County Council now enrolling A single- stand up and speak about approved 12 issue campaign being active members of weeks of PPL for county organization their families. focused solely employees on winning paid welcoming family medical leave for everyone a new family member through in the U.S., PL+US (paidleave.us), birth, adoption or foster-to-adopt placement. launched this February. “In 2017, Many business owners who we will focus on state legislation. In offer PPL say that these policies are Washington, we want to help finish actually good for their bottom line. the paid family leave work that “When you invest in a person, they started in 2007,” says Katie Bethell, invest in you. No one wants to lose senior leader and organizer at that relationship when it’s heathy and PL+US. good,” says Sarah Bird, CEO of Moz, WEEK-LONG CIRCUS WORKSHOPS Washington, advocates say, still ACROBATICS • AERIAL • CLOWNING a Seattle-based software company IMPROV • JUGGLING • MAGIC • STORYTELLING has time to be a national leader. that offers four months of PPL and six “Washington state has a proud weeks of paid leave for any situation history of innovation — from covered under the federal FMLA. Boeing to Microsoft. We have “We have lower employee turnover, an opportunity to lead again by and a lot of that is because of how passing one of the strongest paid we take care of people here. I am family and medical leave bills in spending less time recruiting people the country,” Humphreys says. and backfilling roles,” Bird says.>>

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Come , 0516_frog_prints_1-8h.indd 1 4/12/160615_morningside_academy_1-8h.indd 3:43 PM 1 create 4/20/15 8:47 PM collaborate and explore new skills at the Forest Ridge at Forest Ridge Summer Summer Experience! July 25 - August 19 Boys & Girls Grades 2-8 www.forestridge.org/summerexp

2016 FOREST

RIDGESCHOOL of the SACRED HEART 16 • May 2016 • parentmap.com CAMPS feature Spend your summer at SAMENA! • Summer Camps • 3 Pools for hours The push for paid family leave for Age 3-15 of family fun continued from page 14 • Swim Lessons • Swim Team & Tennis Small-business owner Molly Opportunity Institute and leader • Fitness Classes Moon says she started her company’s of Washington Work and Family Join today…your family will thank you! leave policy for employee-retention Coalition (waworkandfamily.org). www.samena.com reasons, too. “I have two male Even when men are offered leave, (425) 746-1160 15231 Lake Hills Blvd. Bellevue 98007 employees who are incredible they don’t always take it. Studies that have been with my company show that men who take time away for more than six years. When I from work for family caregiving can heard one of them wondering if he face harassment, discrimination needed a ‘grown-up job’ so he can or mistreatment, according to the support a family, I knew I needed a National Partnership for Women & competitive benefits package,” says Families. Moon. Her company, Molly Moon’s The benefit’s applicability to not Homemade Ice Cream, offers 12 only dads and moms but to any weeks of PPL. “For small-business employee who needs to care for a owners, it’s the mental health of family member (such as an aging the owner who parent) or has to deal with themselves (say, turnover. A good Email during a serious PPL plan helps or call illness) broadens me avoid the the appeal and worry of having Take couple of minutes seeks to curb to hire and train to send an email to your the common someone new, candidate or a legislator quibble between and wondering if about paid family leave employees who that person will (find all your elected are or want to be a good fit.” representatives at app.leg. become parents With wa.gov/districtfinder) and those who businesses don’t. BEST jumping on board with new programs and Struggle for families SUMMER vocal support, and as we close in While some business owners and on the outcome and impact of this employees may fret over a new EVER! year’s national and state elections, insurance program with a payroll the Washington Work and Family YMCA Summer Programs deduction, Watkins points out that Coalition is finessing the current YMCA OF SNOHOMISH COUNTY the lack of paid family leave actually FAMLI Act before going back for a exacerbates inequalities. bid in the 2017 session. “In our current proposal, the “Without paid leave, the divide average worker would pay less than grows between those families whose $2 a week and be able to take up to kids are getting the best of everything 12 weeks of leave with two-thirds compared to those families where their usual pay. We’re looking at moms and dads have to go back way potential tweaks, but we have a good too soon,” Watkins says. Every baby REGISTER basic model. We want to look at what in our state deserves a good start. TODAY! will make it usable for everyone. Babies don’t get to choose, and you We really want fathers to take shouldn’t have to work for Microsoft Camps for all ages and interests leave, too,” says Marilyn Watkins, to have a benefit like this.” YMCA-SNOCO.ORG/CAMP policy director at the Economic Sen. Karen Keiser, D-Kent, says

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 17 We can keep the same CAMPS logo. If we can alter the feature middle section to take out Dirty Hands improvisation and School Break Camps and write & Messy Faces Parents’ Night Out, Camps, Summer Art Camps and NEW!!! Performing Arts Preschool. If there is not at the The push for paid family leave enough space we could also Fred Oldﬁ eld Western continued from page 17 take out the Camps, and Acting • Music • Dance • Camps Heritage & ArtCenter include it in the bottom with Parents’ Night Out she thinks of employees like the NEW!!! Performing Arts Preschool located at the Early impacts Register now. We also can hotel workers cleaning rooms up have the ages 2-12. We start Ages 2-12 Puyallup Fair Grounds Easing the financial strain of our preschool program at 2 and down the SeaTac strip. “There $200 PER WEEK FOR FULL DAY For info: 253-752-9708 or welcoming a new baby into a family 1/2. Thank you so much. CAMP REGISTER NOW! are hundreds of them, and not foldﬁ [email protected] is just one way that paid family seattleslittlestperformers.com one of them has paid family leave leave policies create good starts for insurance. It breaks my heart that families. the people who need it most are low- “All infants become attached to income employees working often in FD15_seattles_littlest_1-16.indd 1 5/26/150516_fred_oldfield_1-16.indd 9:14 PM 1 4/10/16 9:08 PM their caregivers. The big argument service jobs. Paid family leave clearly for family leave is that both parents needs to be a minimum benefit need time with their child. Parents for all employees,” says Keiser, the need to be there to offer care and Senate sponsor of the FAMLI Act. comfort regularly,” says Susan Both Julie* and her husband were Spieker, Ph.D., a professor of family working full and child time at Domino’s nursing and Pizza when they Talk at director of the were expecting work Barnard Center their first child. for Infant Mental “I was planning Discuss paid family and Health and on working right medical leave with your Development at up until the baby employer, even if you SM14_lake_union_crew_1-8h.indd 1 1/8/14 10:18 AM the University of came and to go don’t need it now. What Washington. back to work a would it take to get a “The first REGISTER TODAY! few weeks after policy in place? Form a six weeks are giving birth, but research group within unpredictable, early contractions your workplace. and infant [forced me to crying peaks shorten] my shift at six weeks. I lengths. Then when the store’s air worry more about the parents; babies conditioner was broken, I ended up in child care still become attached calling my husband to come finish to their parents. Parents need this my shift for me as I cried on the protected time for bonding, [for] floor of the walk-in refrigerator,” getting to know their baby and recalls Julie, who lives in Snohomish working out their routines. I don’t County. She had a C-section and want people without family leave to was unable to go back to Domino’s feel guilty about their baby. I believe until two months after giving birth. in the resilience of the baby but it’s so The worry and the frustration of stressful [to go back to work during physically not being able to do the this transition],” Spieker says. work that represented her livelihood The FAMLI Act is a gender- ® were overwhelming. neutral policy. This means that Pedalheads “I wasn’t able to save up nearly paid family leave is for single learn to ride bike camps as much money as I wanted. My dads, and families with two dads for kids ages 3-12 husband [only] took five days off or two moms and for adoptive pedalheads.com 1.888.886.6464 after I gave birth because we needed parents. Beyond building a strong the money,” Julie says. family foundation during that first

18 • May 2016 • parentmap.com CAMPS + ACTIVITIES SUMMER Rowing MUSIC Summer SUMMER DAY Camps CAMPS FOR CAMP Weekly Camps for ages 12-18 begin July 5. ALL AGES! 2nd-5th Grade Girls Mon-Thurs 9am-2pm Only $149 Girls and Boys 4-6 years old REGISTER NOW! DOWNLOAD YOUR COPY TODAY! Two Sessions Julyyy 18-22 and July 25-29 seattlegirlschoir.org

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SM16_everett_rowing_center_1-8v.indd 1 1/25/16 6:57 PM

MetroParksTacoma.org/GOCamps

416_estful_gardens_1-8h.indd 1 3/2/16 4: PM There’s a camp for every camper, from art tto zoo!

SSS • parentmap.com • May 2016 • 19 CAMPS + ACTIVITIES Discover 5000+ SUMMER CAMPS from top providers! A single registration form. No booking fees. Best prices.

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20 • May 2016 • parentmap.com

316_pacific_nw_ballet_summer_1-2v.indd 1 2/5/16516_sounders_fc_summer_1-4.indd 9:57 AM 1 4/12/16 9:45 AM feature

The push for paid family leave continued from page 18

year of life, the way we care for our children of urgency and pressure from citizens to turn a So, Washington parents: We need to agitate correlates to how our children think about our proposal into a fully funded Washington state law. like the spin cycle on the biggest, baddest washing family culture, and even about gender roles, as “Literally thousands of bills get introduced machine, one that can handle the busiest family’s they grow. “We know that children learn a lot every year. It’s really easy to just brush it aside, dirtiest jumble of soccer socks, yoga pants and implicitly from their environment, that they are because it seems too big. But we already know Monday-morning blouses. Between now and the really good at picking up patterns in their world. how to pay for paid family leave in the U.S.A. We next legislative session, we need to lather. We need are not going to adopt Sweden’s model or even the Starting early, you’re giving kids role models. to froth. Canadian model but we can certainly adopt the You’re changing cultural stereotypes if you are If you are in the baby-making years, this issue California model,” [which offers workers six weeks changing what children are learning from their hits home. If you’re past those years, think back to of partial pay for care of a newborn baby, foster or home environment,” says Sarah Roseberry Lytle, adopted child, seriously ill family member, or their how paid leave would have impacted you, and how Ph.D., director of outreach and education at the own disability], Watkins says. it can change the future of families across our state. Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences (I-LABS) But we, the parents, and all those who support Democracy is not a spectator sport, Rowe- at the University of Washington. “You want strong families, a diverse workforce and a strong Finkbeiner likes to say. dads to change diapers. You want moms to do economy need to act. “The call for paid family Now, let’s go get our leave. n math, so kids know moms do math. Some of the leave rises from the people because we have the research we’ve done shows how kids internalize experiences of not having paid leave when we Nancy Schatz Alton is a Seattle author. Find her environment, moving from the idea of ‘girls don’t need it,” says Mosqueda. blog at withinthewords.com. do math’ to ‘I don’t do math because I’m a girl.’ What you are doing is exposing kids to this new normal: Mom is not the only caregiver; dad is a States with paid family leave caregiver, too.” Rhode Island Washington ENACTED 2013; EFFECTIVE 2014 Last big push PENDING NEXT Paid family leave is just around the corner, and it’s LEGISLATIVE SESSION BEGINS JANUARY 2017 New York within reach. Legislators and voters are building ENACTED 2016; EFFECTIVE 2018 support; businesses are moving forward along California New Jersey a parallel track; and the parenting culture has ENACTED 2002 ENACTED 2008; EFFECTIVE 2009 EFFECTIVE 2004 become less gendered than it has ever been. Are EXPANDED 2016 these the perfect conditions the state needs? EFFECTIVE 2018 What it’s going to a take to pass paid family leave in Washington, advocates say, is a sense CAMPS + ACTIVITIES • Fantastic Fiel Trips AL STUDIO • Da Camp • Small Group Actiities Classes, Camps, Parties • Experienced Staﬀ Parents Night Out, Portfolio Prep • Enrichment Classes Our students have won awards nationwide ! nline regiraion egin e. Open enrollment ages 5 – 15 Sunnsie Ae N 22 1425 Market St, Kirkland WA 98033 20-2-1 [email protected] meriiascool.eeplore www.artclasskirkland.com 425-908-9908 (425) 451-1393 smmerest www.mygymbellevue.com parentmap.com • May 2016 • 21

316_meridian_school_1-16.indd 1 2/8/161215_al_studio_revised_1-16.indd 12:41 PM 1 11/2/15SM16_engineering_for_kids_1-16.indd 11:2 AM 1 1/14/16 9:18 AM CAMPS + ACTIVITIES MORE VALUE MORE VARIETY MORE FUN Join us this summer! Register today for camps and classes! eastsidecatholic.org/summer

Enroll Now for Spring Classes On-going preschool, children’s, CALL for a Free Introductory Class teen and adult classes. Birthday Parties Gift Certificates Available Make your reservation The Studio. Belgate Plaza 1075 Bellevue Way NE for Art Camp! 2 blocks North of Bellevue Square 425-736-3060 www.BellevueStudio.com

Ages 3 - 15 Try for FREE! ThisThis MonthOctober JAZZ BALLROOM HIPHOP

Registration for Bellevue Parks & lavidastudio.com (425) 643-5433 Community Services’ summer day camps is now underway! 116_lavida_studio_1-8h.inddRockMeadow 1 12/2/15 1:29 PM Don’t miss out on a summer packed with fun, adventure, variety, and value. Equestrian Center

Visit http://goo.gl/j39F2JYTąSI^TZWKZS Kids and Horses Summer Day Camps this summer! • For Ages 6 – 12 • CHA Member • ARIA Certified • Professional Instruction • Daily Riding & Horse Care on Historic 38 Acre Farm • Trail Walks • Gardening • Arts & Crafts • Games & Activities 425-452-6885 • Pizza Party/Sprinkler Party • Horse Show www.bellevuewa.gov www.rockmeadowec.com • 425-392-0600 Easy access from 1-90 or 520 on the Sammamish Plateau

22 • May 2016 • parentmap.com

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CAMPS + ACTIVITIES

5 ways to have a PRO SPORTS CLUB spring crafternoon

MAKE GARDEN MARKERS: If you’re starting your garden from seeds this year, have your kids help you make homemade rock garden markers: Simply pull out your paints and put your pint-sized Picassos to work on coloring in all of the veggies and fruits that you’re planning on featuring in this year’s family plot.

CREATE SEED STARTERS: Fun as gifts or for home, kids will love making DIY shredded-paper seed starters. Using shredded recycled paper and tissue paper, make a paper mixture in a bowl and combine with water until soft. Then drain, place the paper mix into a decorative cookie cutter, and add your seeds to the wet paper once the shape is set. Let dry and you’re ready to plant. OPEN TO NON-CLUB MEMBERS FEED THE BIRDS: This classic craft is always a winner. Easy for small hands to create, you’ll only need to have some peanut butter, birdseed, twine, pine cones and scissors to get started on your own “cheep” treats.

ECO-FRIENDLY EGGSHELL STARTERS: Why spend money on plant starter kits when you’ve got eggs in the fridge? When you next cook with eggs, carefully crack each shell before emptying it to leave a little bowl. Plant seeds in the egg with soil, then crack the shell gently before placing the sprouts in the ground when they’re big enough.

SPRING SCAVENGER HUNT: So easy. Find a number of “treasures” in your backyard that are easy for kids to find, take photos and print SPORTS, them on a piece of paper (or write them out). Then set the kiddos loose with prizes for fastest, most creative and more. INFLATABLES, DANCE, AQUATICS, S.T.E.M., RACQUET SPORTS, LEADERSHIP & MORE... EARLYMAY SPECIAL BIRDS SaveSAVE $10/wk! $30! 10 Locations in King County! B E P ST CAM

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parentmap.com • May 2016 • 23

516_destination_science_1-4.indd 1 4/14/16 11:29 AM may SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY 1 2 3 Bicycle Sunday. Take your family’s Let’s Play: Pinocchio. Giggles guaranteed Preschool Playtime. Need a breather? PICKS two-wheelers out for a spin on this ﬁ rst of at these fun, short shows designed for the Drop your little ones for play and social many car-free Sundays along the lake. Select preschool crowd. May 2, 6 and 7; 10:30 a.m. time. Tuesdays, Thursdays; 9–11 a.m. or Sundays, 10 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE. Lake Washing- $5. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Olympia Family noon–2 p.m. through June 3. $10; call to ton Boulevard, from Mount Baker to Seward Theater, Olympia. olyft.org reserve spot. Ages 3–6. Lynnwood Park, Seattle. seattle.gov/parks/bicyclesunday Sing and Dance with Erika. Folk musician Recreation Center. ci.lynnwood.wa.us Syttende Camlann Festival for May. Travel back to plays tunes for a preschool dance party. ONGOING EVENT Mai Parade, the 14th century at Camlann’s annual Mayday Mondays, 10–11 a.m. $20/family includes Tot Trek – Search for Salamanders. Little Ballard, fest, with Maypole dancing, demonstrations, all-day play. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. ones and their grown-ups look for critters games and entertainment. April 30–May 1. Roo’s World of Discovery, Kirkland. in the woods. 10:30–11:45 a.m. FREE; May 17 $6–$10; ages 5 and under free. Camlann roosworldofdiscovery.com ONGOING EVENT preregister. Ages 2–3 with caregiver. Camp Medieval Village, Carnation. camlann.org Long, Seattle. seattle.gov/parks

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Remlinger Farms Opening Weekend for Play to Learn. Kids and caregivers gather Kidz Bounce Drop-In Time. Take a break Mother’s Day. Steam train, hay maze, pony for community play and circle time. 10–11:30 while your little ones get their workout. rides and more. Saturday–Sunday, May 7–8. a.m.; additional weekly times and locations. Tuesday–Thursday, 9:30–11 a.m. or 12:30–2 $11.75–$13.75; under age 1 free; moms FREE. Ages 6 and under with caregiver. Mad- p.m., plus Thursday 5–6:30 p.m. $8. Ages and grandmas free on Sunday with brunch ison Complex, Tacoma. playtacoma.org 2–10 with caregiver. Kidz Bounce, Preston. purchase. Carnation. remlingerfarms.com Luke’s Kids Drop-in Play Time. Preschool- kidzbounce.com ONGOING EVENT Free Train Rides for Moms. Take a scenic ers and their grown-ups meet up to play at Hello! Exploring the Supercute World vintage train excursion. Saturday–Sunday, this Ballard church. Mondays, 10 a.m.–noon. of Hello Kitty. Last week to learn the May 7–8. $12–$22; mothers free with $5 suggested donation. Ages 0–5 with care- story of the cartoon kitty with international paying child. Northwest Railway Museum, giver. St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, Seattle. popularity. Daily through May 15. Included Snoqualmie. trainmuseum.org stlukesseattle.org ONGOING EVENT with admission. EMP Museum, Seattle. empmuseum.org

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Anne Frank: A History for Today. Just Lil’ Diggers Playtime. Get digging in the Syttende Mai Parade. Ballard fl ies its a few remaining chances to experience sand, no matter the weather outside. Mon- Scandinavian colors at this popular parade this moving exhibit. Wednesdays, Sundays day, Wednesday, Thursday; 9:30–11 a.m. highlighting the neighborhood’s enduring through May 25. $5–$10 suggested dona- or 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. $7. Ages 5 and under connection to some of its early settlers. 6 tion; reservation required. Grades 6 and with caregiver. Sandbox Sports, Seattle. p.m. FREE. Along N.W. Market St., Seattle. up. Holocaust Center for Humanity, Seattle. sandboxsports.net ONGOING EVENT 17thofmay.org holocaustcenterseattle.org Meet-up Monday. Meet up with friends Learning Buddies. Elementary-age kids Puget Sound Starts Here Family Fun to receive $3 off admission plus free coff ee improve their reading and math playing Find your Mother’s Day fun at Day. Scien-terrifi c hands-on activities, for adults, while it lasts. Mondays, 9 a.m.–9 games with a high school buddy. 4–5 p.m. parentmap.com/mothersday games, entertainment, prizes and more. 10 p.m. $7 with discount; adults and under age FREE. Seattle Public Library, Beacon Hill and a.m.–2 p.m. FREE. Foss Waterway Seaport, 1 free. WiggleWorks Kids, Bellevue. NewHolly Branches. spl.org Billy Elliott, Tacoma. fosswaterwayseaport.org wiggleworkskids.com ONGOING EVENT Village Theatre, May 12–July 3 22 23 24

Mushroom Maynia. Puget Sound Myco- Seattle Aquarium Beach Naturalist Pro- One Click Away: Encouraging Smart logical Society promises “family fungi fun” gram. First day of this seasonal program Choices in a Wired World. Author and at this mushroom-growing fest. 10 a.m.–4 that explores tidal life at area beaches, with therapist Jo Langford, M.A., provides tools p.m. $3/person or $5/family. Center for Seattle Aquarium naturalists on hand. 10 on creating smart boundaries for your Urban Horticulture, Seattle. psms.org a.m.–1:30 p.m. FREE. Check website for family at this ParentMap lecture. 7 p.m. Campout Cinema. Cozy up for Star Trek multiple locations and additional dates. $25–$30. Adults. Seattle Children’s Hospital. II: The Wrath of Khan plus trivia, giveaways seattleaquarium.org ONGOING EVENT parentmap.com/lectures and more fun. 7:30 p.m. $12. Film rated PG. Juggling Club. Stop by to learn and Shadow Lake Bog Self-guided Walking EMP Museum, Seattle. empmuseum.org practice juggling; all levels welcome. Tour. Stroll the boardwalk in this fascinating Mondays, 7–9 p.m. FREE. Ages 5 and up. bog preserve for a great tot-length hike. Dai- Top Ten Toys Greenwood, Seattle. ly during daylight hours. FREE. Shadow Lake toptentoys.com ONGOING EVENT Nature Preserve, Renton. shadowhabitat.org MARK KITAOKA

Jo Langford 29 30 31 on ‘One The Music Man. Make it a day out to Kodomo no Hi – Children’s Day. Cele- Hoppy Hour. Bounce time for energetic Click Away,’ see this outdoor production about a brate this traditional Japanese holiday with kids to get the wiggles out. Monday–Fri- May 24 your kids smooth-taking salesman who rolls into performances and hands-on activities. 10 day, 10 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $5–$8. Ages 1–8. River City. May 29–June 19, 2 p.m. $10–$20; a.m.–3 p.m. $4–$6; ages 5 and under free. Elevated Sportz Trampoline Park, Bothell. online ages 5 and under free. Kitsap Forest Seattle Japanese Garden. elevatedsportz.com ONGOING EVENT chatting Theater, Bremerton. foresttheater.com seattlejapanesegarden.org Pool Playland. It’s swim time for parents bullying The Marvelous Land of Oz. Studio East Memorial Day at The Museum of Flight. and tots in the warm pool. 11 a.m.–noon tween presents this world premiere based on Honor our veterans at this commemoration daily through summer. $3.75–$5.25; under gaming Frank Baum’s sequel to The Wizard of Oz. featuring patriotic music and ceremonies. 1 free. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Pop Moung- teens Friday–Sunday, May 27–June 19. $17. Ages 4 10:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Free admission for er Pool, Seattle. seattle.gov/parks/aquatics and up. Kirkland. studio-east.org veterans and active U.S. Military personnel. Seattle. museumoﬄ ight.org

24 • May 2016 • parentmap.com

KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 1 4/14/16 2:15 PM 0516_PM calendar spread.indd 30 4/18/16 8:35 PM may SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY 1 2 3 Bicycle Sunday. Take your family’s Let’s Play: Pinocchio. Giggles guaranteed Preschool Playtime. Need a breather? PICKS two-wheelers out for a spin on this ﬁ rst of at these fun, short shows designed for the Drop your little ones for play and social many car-free Sundays along the lake. Select preschool crowd. May 2, 6 and 7; 10:30 a.m. time. Tuesdays, Thursdays; 9–11 a.m. or Sundays, 10 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE. Lake Washing- $5. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Olympia Family noon–2 p.m. through June 3. $10; call to ton Boulevard, from Mount Baker to Seward Theater, Olympia. olyft.org reserve spot. Ages 3–6. Lynnwood Park, Seattle. seattle.gov/parks/bicyclesunday Sing and Dance with Erika. Folk musician Recreation Center. ci.lynnwood.wa.us Syttende Camlann Festival for May. Travel back to plays tunes for a preschool dance party. ONGOING EVENT Mai Parade, the 14th century at Camlann’s annual Mayday Mondays, 10–11 a.m. $20/family includes Tot Trek – Search for Salamanders. Little Ballard, fest, with Maypole dancing, demonstrations, all-day play. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. ones and their grown-ups look for critters games and entertainment. April 30–May 1. Roo’s World of Discovery, Kirkland. in the woods. 10:30–11:45 a.m. FREE; May 17 $6–$10; ages 5 and under free. Camlann roosworldofdiscovery.com ONGOING EVENT preregister. Ages 2–3 with caregiver. Camp Medieval Village, Carnation. camlann.org Long, Seattle. seattle.gov/parks

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24 • May 2016 • parentmap.com

KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 1 4/14/16 2:15 PM 0516_PM calendar spread.indd 30 4/18/16 8:35 PM 2016 Summer Reading Program Begins June 1. Color one shape for every 20 minutes spent reading, Write your ﬁ rst and last name here • Escribe aquí tu nombre y apellido being read to, or listening to a book. Tear out and bring your log into the library to register for Summer Reading! Read 500 minutes and receive a halfway prize. Read 1,000 minutes to earn your Start KCLS Summer Reading Champion Medal! Here! July 18–Start collecting your halfway 20 100 and finisher prizes. ¡Comienza August 31–Summer Reading aquí! 200 Program ends. One half way prize and one nisher prize per child, while supplies last. 600 700

1,000 El programa finisher! de Lectura 900 del Verano 2016 empieza 500 Sta Initials halfway! Finisher! el 1 de junio. Colorea una forma por cada 20 minutos 800 que leas, te lean, o escuches un libro audio. Lee 500 minutos y 300 recibe un premio intermedio. Sta ¡Lee 1,000 minutos y gana Initials 400 tu Medalla de Campeón del Halfway! Programa de Lectura de Verano de KCLS! El 18 de julio comienza a coleccionar los premios intermedios y de finalista.

This event/activity/o er is NOT sponsored by the Auburn, BSD405, Enumclaw, Federal Way, Highline, Issaquah, Kent, Lake Washington, Northshore, Renton, Riverview, Shoreline, Snoqualmie Valley, Tahoma or Tukwila School Districts, and these districts assume no responsibility for the conduct or safety during the event/activity/o er. In consideration for the privilege to distribute these materials, the Auburn, El 31 de Agosto termina el programa de Lectura de Verano. BSD405, Enumclaw, Federal Way, Highline, Issaquah, Kent, Lake Washington, Northshore, Renton, Riverview, Shoreline, Snoqualmie Valley, Tahoma or Tukwila School Districts shall be held harmless from any cause of action, claim or petition led in any court or administrative tribunal arising out of the distribution of these materials, including all costs, attorney’s fees and judgments or awards. Un premio intermedio y un premio de nalista por niño, mientras duren las existencias.

KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 2 4/14/16 2:15 PM KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 3 4/14/16 2:15 PM 2016 Summer Reading Program Begins June 1. Color one shape for every 20 minutes spent reading, Write your ﬁ rst and last name here • Escribe aquí tu nombre y apellido being read to, or listening to a book. Tear out and bring your log into the library to register for Summer Reading! Read 500 minutes and receive a halfway prize. Read 1,000 minutes to earn your Start KCLS Summer Reading Champion Medal! Here! July 18–Start collecting your halfway 20 100 and finisher prizes. ¡Comienza August 31–Summer Reading aquí! 200 Program ends. One half way prize and one nisher prize per child, while supplies last. 600 700

KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 2 4/14/16 2:15 PM KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 3 4/14/16 2:15 PM Fun things to try this summer Cosas Divertidas para Probar este verano

q Go on a hike and identify q Identi ca árboles y pájaros cuando vayas trees and birds. de caminata.

q Play a card game. q Juega a las cartas.

q Play a game of hopscotch. q Juega a la rayuela.

q Learn a magic trick. q Aprende un truco de magia.

q Help cook a healthy meal. q Ayuda a cocinar una comida sana.

q Learn more about your q Aprende más sobre tus héroes favorite sports heroes. deportistas favoritos.

q Play Simon Says. q Juega a Simon dice.

q Have a family board game marathon. q Realiza un maratón familiar de Juegos de mesa. Find more fun things to try at kcls.org/kids/summer

Books I have Read • Libros que leí

Summer Reading is presented by the Thank you to our partners:

KING COUNTY LIBRARY SYSTEM FOUNDATION

KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 4 4/14/16 2:15 PM Fun things to try this summer Cosas Divertidas para Probar este veranoTUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY 4 5 6 7 Bike to School Day. Ask your school to Reading with The Wing. Stories with Critter Club. PDZA kids’ program features Free Comic Book Day. Just like it sounds! q Go on a hike and identify q Identi ca árboles y pájaros cuando vayas register with Cascade Bicycle Club, or just get Asian characters or books by Asian authors stories, hands-on exploration and an Visit one of dozens of area comic stores to on your bike and ride to school, to the park or plus art activity. 11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–4 animal surprise. May 5, 6, 19 and 20; 11 choose from among 50 free comic books trees and birds. de caminata. around your neighborhood, today or any day. with families. Wing Luke Museum, Seattle. a.m. $11–$13; preregister. Ages 3–4 with off ered FREE today. freecomicbookday.com FREE. cascade.org wingluke.org caregiver. Point Defi ance Zoo & Aquarium, SIFF 2016 Films4Families Preview. Get a Holocaust Remembrance Observance and Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat. Faithful ad- Tacoma. pdza.org sneak peek of some of the excellent family Memorial. In honor of Holocaust Remem- aptation of the story of our favorite zany cat Paws-on Science: Husky Weekend. Fun, fi lms from around the world to be screened q Play a card game. q Juega a las cartas. brance Day (May 5 this year), a memorial service and his outlandish antics. Through May 22. interactive science activities plus Dubs, at this year’s SIFF, see The Lego Movie on and candle lighting will be held at Stroum Jewish Ages 3 and up. $22–$40. Seattle Children’s Husky marching band and more. Included the big screen and play in a giant Lego Community Center, and local survivor Henry Theatre, Seattle. sct.org with admission; discount for UW alumni, playspace. 1 p.m. $5. SIFF Cinema Uptown, q Play a game of hopscotch. q Juega a la rayuela. Friedman will share his story. FREE. 6:30–8:30 staff and students. Pacifi c Science Center, Seattle. siff .net p.m. Mercer Island. holocaustcenterseattle.org Seattle. pacifi csciencecenter.org q Learn a magic trick. q Aprende un truco de magia. 11 12 13 14

Story Time for Kids. Settle in for new Billy Elliott. A young man switches from A Year with Frog and Toad. Arnold Lo- Kids’ Fish In. Learn to fi sh with expert q Help cook a healthy meal. q Ayuda a cocinar una comida sana. and classic kids’ books, plus activities and boxing to ballet in this inspirational musical bel’s delightfully quirky characters and their guides. Bring fi shing gear; limited gear refreshments. Wednesdays, 11 a.m. FREE. with a fantastic score by Elton John. May friendship are set to music in this charming available to borrow. Preregister for time Ages 2–5 with caregiver. University Book- 12–July 3 (July 8–31 in Everett). $44–$72. musical adaptation. Friday–Sunday, May slot between 7:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m. FREE. store, Mill Creek. bookstore.washington.edu Ages 10 and up. Village Theatre, Issaquah. 13–June 5. $13–$19. All ages. Olympia Ages 4–14. Thornton Sullivan Park, Everett. q Learn more about your q Aprende más sobre tus héroes ONGOING EVENT villagetheatre.org Family Theater. olyft.org everettwa.org Conservatory Story Hour. Lovely verdant Family Nature Class. Explore the natural Family Night Walk. Begin in the lab then Bear Camp. Learn about our formidable favorite sports heroes. deportistas favoritos. surroundings make for a pleasant spring world with learning stations. Thursday–Sat- head out in the dark in search of nocturnal Northwest neighbors plus test out Trek’s story time. 11 a.m. FREE; donations urday, 9:30–11:30 a.m. $18 per adult/child creatures. 7–9 p.m. $15; preregister. Ages fantastic new playground. Saturday– appreciated. Ages 3–8 with caregiver. W.W. pair; preregister. Ages 2–5 with caregiver. 6 and up. Mercer Slough Environmental Sunday, May 14–15. Included with q Play Simon Says. q Juega a Simon dice. Seymour Botanical Conservatory, Tacoma. Washington Park Arboretum, Seattle. Education Center, Bellevue. admission. Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, seymourconservatory.org depts.washington.edu/uwbg ONGOING EVENT pacifi csciencecenter.org Eatonville. nwtrek.org q Have a family board game marathon. q Realiza un maratón familiar de Juegos de mesa. 18 19 20 21

Toddler Tales & Trails. Story time and Seattle International Film Festival. Free Admission Night at Imagine A Glimpse of China: Chinese Culture a tot-sized nature hike. Wednesdays, The renowned festival’s family-friend- Children’s Museum. Play free with your and Arts Festival. Festál celebrates 5000 Find more fun things to try at kcls.org/kids/summer Saturdays, 10–11 a.m. $2. Ages 2–5 with ly track (Films4Families) screens new friends and family the third Friday evening years of Chinese culture. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. caregiver. Seward Park Audubon Center, feature-length, short and animated fi lms, of the month. 5:30–9 p.m. Ages 1–12 with FREE. Seattle Center Armory. Seattle. sewardpark.audubon.org including the much-anticipated Little Door families. Imagine Children’s Museum, seattlecenter.com/festal ONGOING EVENT Gods from new Chinese animation studio Everett. imaginecm.org Petpalooza. A day of four-legged fun Wednesday Play Group. Free, drop-in Light Chaser. May 19–June 12. siff .net The Wiz. The story of The Wizard of Oz including a Dog Trot Fun Run, pony rides, play time. Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m.–noon. Dusty Strings Presents Eric Madis exuberantly re-told through the lens of the agility area, ‘Unleashed’ pet contest, and pet Books I have Read • Libros que leí FREE. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. FamilyWorks Acoustic Trio. Terrifi c live music from friends African-American experience. Friday– adoptions. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE; some ac- Resource Center, Seattle. of Dusty Strings acoustic music for a family Sunday, May 20–June 12. $12–$31. Tacoma tivities have fee. Game Farm Park, Auburn. familyworksseattle.org ONGOING EVENT night out. 6:30–8 p.m. FREE. Crossroads Mar- Musical Playhouse. tmp.org auburnwa.gov ket Stage, Bellevue. crossroadsbellevue.com

25 26 27 28

Wild Wednesday. Free admission the last Kaleidoscope Play and Learn. Stop by Northwest Folklife Festival. The theme The Art of the Brick. The stunning Wednesday of the month with two-item Third Place Commons to meet and play for this year’s festival is “The Power of the sculpture of artist Nathan Sawaya redefi nes food bank donation. 9 a.m.–8 p.m. FREE with other families. Thursdays, 10:30–noon. Human Voice through Song,” showcasing what can be built with Legos. May 28–Sept. with donation. Ages 1–10. PlayDate SEA, FREE. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Lake Forest a huge array of talent and opportuni- 11. $20.75–$28.75 (includes admission to Seattle. playdatesea.com Park. thirdplacecommons.org ties to learn and make music. Discovery all exhibits); ages 2 and under free. Pacifi c SkyMania Toddler Time. Burn off pre- ONGOING EVENT Zone features hands-on activities and Science Center, Seattle. schoolers’ morning energy. Tuesday– Board Game Night. Try out new games or performances especially for kids. Friday– Canoe Mercer Slough. Ply the waters of the Thursday, 10–11:30 a.m. $5. Ages 5 and join in league play and win prizes. Thurs- Monday, May 27–30. $10/person or $20/ amazing Mercer Slough with a guide; prior ca- under. SkyMania Trampolines, Kirkland. days, 6:30–9:30 p.m. FREE. Card Kingdom, family suggested donation. Seattle Center. noeing experience required. Select weekends skymaniatrampolines.com ONGOING EVENT Seattle. cardkingdom.com ONGOING EVENT nwfolklife.org through Sept. 6, 8:30 a.m.–noon. $16–$18; preregister. Ages 5 and up. Enatai Beach Park, Bellevue. myparksandrecreation.com

Better Babysitter Classes Purchase a Miracle for Seattle Children’s Sat, May 7 and Sun, May 22, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. May 1 - June 15 Seattle Children’s Admin Building Grocery stores across Washington 6901 Sand Point Way NE, Seattle Purchase products marked by Purchase a For youth ages 11 to 14. Topics for responsible Miracle shelf tags at your local grocery store Summer Reading babysitting include basic child development, infant to support Seattle Children’s Hospital. Northwest care and safety, handling emergencies, age- is presented by the Folklife appropriate toys, business hints and parent www.seattlechildrens.org/purchase-a-miracle Thank you to our partners: Festival, expectations. www.seattlechildrens.org/classes Seattle Center, www.seattlechildrens.org KING COUNTY May 27–30 Fee: $45 per person. Pre-registration required. LIBRARY SYSTEM

FOUNDATION 0516_Seattle_Childrens_cal.indd 1 4/8/16 12:38 PM parentmap.com • May 2016 • 29

KCLS Summer Reading Log-Insert.indd 4 4/14/16 2:15 PM 0516_PM calendar spread.indd 31 4/18/16 8:35 PM out + about

Pack (a picnic) and play l7 spots for a perfect spring spread By Fiona Cohen

t its best, a family picnic is a mini vacation: a chance to leave day-to-day routine behind, spread out under the open sky and spend some time together. No wonder it’s a favorite activity for Mother’s Day, despite the fact that mothers are often the ones packing the picnics (or at least supervising). AThese seven favorite picnic spots around Seattle offer a range of experiences, from farm fun to tide pooling to hiking. What they have in common are beauty, bathrooms (important!) and that sense of getting away from it all, which makes an open-air meal taste just a little bit better.

30 • May 2016 • parentmap.com 160405 Crossroads ParentMap 4x10 f.pdf 1 4/5/16 2:51 PM

1 l NEIGHBORHOOD CHARM Mount Baker Park, Seattle This leafy lakefront park is the northern launching point for this year’s Bicycle Sunday, an event held on 14 Sundays in spring and summer when the city closes three scenic miles of Lake Washington Boulevard to motorized traffic, and bicycles roll free (2521 Lake Park Dr. S., Seattle). The most popular place to picnic is probably near the lifeguard-posted swimming area on the lakefront, but there are many lovely shady spots in the inland part of the park; look for the spiffy new playground on the south end of the park by South McClellan Street. EATS: Pick up locally sourced deli items, farmers-market-quality produce, smoothies and fresh-pressed juices at The Feed Store, a new gourmet bodega across the street from the Mount Baker Park playground. Sit on one of the 1940s stools and order a pour-over coffee while the kids “ride” the old- fashioned, coin-operated pony ride (3605 S. McClellan St., Seattle).

2 l THE FARM IN THE WOODS

Farrel-McWhirter Farm Park, Redmond REDMOND.GOV Located just 10 minutes from Redmond Town Center, Farrel-McWhirter feels like a world away. Walk through a forest of tall trees, surrounded by birdsong, to the children’s farm. There, kids can encounter goats, pigs, chickens, horses and rabbits. The best picnic area, with a shelter, tables and a wide lawn, is between the farm and Mackey Creek (19545 N.E. Redmond Road, Redmond). EATS: Grab excellent banh mi sandwiches, which are rapidly becoming Seattle’s version of hoagies in Philly or burgers in L.A., at Yummy Pho Vietnamese Restaurant, about 10 minutes away (8920 161st Ave. N.E., Redmond). >> REDMOND.GOV

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 31 MEMORIAL DAY out + about MAY 30 10 AM Pack (a picnic) and play VETERANS GET continued from page 31 IN FREE! FLICKR CREATIVE COMMONS / JOSE RIZAL YES PROGRAM BEACON AVE SANDWICHES l3 THE CITY AT YOUR FEET Dr. Jose Rizal Park, Seattle

Perched on the northwest corner of Beacon FACEBOOK Hill, this park boasts a sweeping view that

overlooks the bustle of Elliott Bay and downtown Seattle. Long before it became a park, this hillside was a favorite picnic spot for Filipino families in the neighborhood. It’s named after Jose Rizal, a brilliant writer, scientist and a hero in the Philippines’ struggle for independence. The park also has a playground, an off-leash area for dogs and walking trails (1007 12th Ave. S., Seattle). EATS: Beacon Ave Sandwiches, a small neighborhood joint, offers an array of internationally themed sandwiches, including a creation called “The Filipino,” comprising pork adobo, mango and pineapple salsa (2505 Beacon Ave. S., Seattle). FLICKR CREATIVE COMMONS l4 WHERE ALL SPORTS MEET

FLYING HERITAGE COLLECTION’S TIA INTERNATIONAL Magnuson Park, Seattle If you live in Seattle, and you or your kids have any inclination to be sporty, chances are

you’ve spent time in this sprawling park on the shore of Lake Washington. It plays host to a huge variety of organized and disorganized sports, from soccer to cricket (on the specially built pitch south of the Tennis Center) to boating (at Sail Sand Point). There’s even a miniature golf The icons of armor live again at FHC’s fifth annual course. Tankfest Northwest! See a single strongman pull But there’s a quieter side to the park: the woods, natural meadows, lovingly a mighty military vehicle! Hear the roar of our restored wetlands and a children’s garden, just north of the large Junior League German Hetzer tank destroyer back in action! Feel playground. Environmental educators run a variety of programs at the park the rumble of our tank arena beneath the tracks (magnusonnatureprograms.com). of our T-34 tank! A great day of fun, food and The best picnic spots are by the lake, near the swim beach and its spacious fantastic military vehicles for the whole family. bathrooms, which are a stone’s throw from Kite Hill (7400 Sand Point Way N.E., Seattle). EATS: Pick up freshly baked bagels, sandwiches and other goodies from the PAP INNE FIF ELD 3407 101 9TH STS SW EVERETT, WA 98204 beloved Wedgwood bakery Grateful Bread, which also has a few toys for kids 877-FHC-3404 FLYINGHERITAGE.COM (7001 35th Ave. N.E., Seattle).

32 • May 2016 • parentmap.com MARLENESMARKET-DELI.COM l5 BIG, BEAUTIFUL BEACH Dash Point State Park, Federal Way This state park has woods and trails, but the main attraction is the beach. At high tide, it is broad and sandy. At low tide, it grows enormous, with acres of sand flats to explore. Seattle Aquarium will send beach naturalists here during the first weekend in June and July 2–5 to answer questions about starfish, moon snails and other tidal life. Discover Pass is required for parking (5700 S.W. Dash Point Road, Federal Way). EATS: Located near Interstate 5, about 15 minutes away from the park, Marlene’s Market & Deli carries a variety of wholesome sandwiches, salads and baked treats. If your family can’t agree on ELISA MURRAY a picnic food (mine certainly can’t), you can order, say, a roast beef sandwich for one person and quinoa salad for another (2565 S. Gateway Center Plaza, Federal Way). >>

saturday family BIG TOP ROCK concerts may 7 may 14 hootenanny frances an all-ages sing-along england for social change benefiting earthcorps sophisticated songwriting with genuine adult appeal SING!

HOOTENANNY

A rockr show for fam l es featur ng FAMILY SCIENCE TOWN HALL ARTS & CULTURE COMMUNITY CIVICS + the parkway Boys Jenen yers SHOW FREE for kids. $5 for their adults. morningm of Rock and Roll Circus SELECtSEELECt wweekendseekends • nonoww ththroughr may 22 WWW.TOWNHALLSEATTLE.ORG ticketstiticc start at $20 • doors at 10am • show at 11am series support provided by: Schiff Foundation

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 33 Presented by Bellevue Parks & Community Services Bellevue Youth Theatre out + about

Pack (a picnic) and play continued from page 33 AMY BROCKHAUS / MOUNTAINS TO SOUND GREENWAY TRUST May 13–22, 2016 Bellevue Youth Theatre-Crossroads 16051 NE 10th Street, Bellevue

Advance tickets: $12. Purchased after tech week begins: tickets go up to $15. BEAUTY & THE BEAST tech week begins Monday, May 9. All seats are reserved and we do sell out. Buying your tickets early is highly recommended.

For group rates and special pricing, show information or tickets, l6 GATEWAY TO THE SKY call Sheila Framke at the BYT Box Office, 425-452-7155. Poo Poo Point, Issaquah For kids and adults who have the energy to take on a two-mile hike uphill, this amusingly named destination in the Issaquah Alps offers huge rewards. (Not that it makes any difference to a sniggering 7-year-old, but the name refers to the loggers’ steam whistles that once resounded through these hills.) After ascending the Chirico Trail (look for a view of Mount Rainier along the way), you come to a broad, clear area, with a sweeping view of Lake Sammamish, Issaquah and Bellevue. Watch the paragliders set themselves up, check and recheck the wind, and finally launch themselves into the breeze. As for where to set up picnic camp, there are two picnic tables and a composting toilet. (No running water here.) Get directions and more at wta.org/go-hiking/hikes/poo-poo-point-chirico-trail. EATS: Pick up artisan bread, sticky buns and other baked goods from Forest Fairy Bakery (485 Front St. N., D-1, Issaquah; closed on Sunday). For decent sandwiches and salads, stop at Panera Bread (775 N.W. Gilman Blvd., Issaquah).

PICNIC ESSENTIALS • Water • Sunscreen

• Picnic fixings: • First aid kit — including sandwiches or bandages, antibiotic baguettes and cheese, ointment and wipes fruits, cut veggies, • Towel — in case of sparkling juice, etc. wet seats and play • Layers (for the equipment changeable weather) • Trash bag

34 • May 2016 • parentmap.com

0516_tacoma_symphony_1-4.indd 1 4/10/16 9:20 PM marchforbabies.org

National sponsors

0516_march_of_dimes_1-8h.indd 1 4/12/16 9:42 AM COURTESY CITY OF SHORELINE

l7 WIND AND WAVES CENTRAL-MARKET.COM Richmond Beach Saltwater Park, Shoreline Cross a narrow pedestrian bridge over the railroad tracks at Saltwater Park in Shoreline and you’re in 0516_peps_1-8h.indd 1 4/13/16 7:40 AM a world of sun, sea and sand dunes. This is one of Puget Sound’s windy places, so you’ll often spot kiteboarders frolicking in the waves near here. Even on a sweltering day, you’re likely to find a breeze. Kids will love climbing and playing pretend among the driftwood, and you can eventually head to the castle- themed playground above the parking lot (2021 N.W. 190th St., Shoreline). EATS: Pick up fresh tortillas, superb cheeses, sushi and much, much more from Central Market (15505 Westminster Way N., Shoreline), a local supermarket wildly popular with families with global tastes (and with 2-year- olds who enjoy pushing their own carts). n

Fiona Cohen lives in Seattle. She has two kids, ages 14 and 12. Her first Everett Transit will operate FARE FREE to/from our event book, a kids’ guide to natural history, will be published by Sasquatch Books in spring 2017. FREE WORKSHOPS & ACTIVITIES • Speakers on parenting for all stages, drug abuse NICE TO HAVE and suicide prevention, music therapy, bullying, • Hand sanitizer • Condiments — salt, pepper, LGBTQ issues and much more Sriracha, mustard • Tablecloth — adds to • Two screenings of Disney’s Inside Out with guided presentation, and prevents • Knife and cutting board discussion for kids on their emotions food from falling through • Free pizza, games, crafts and family photos • Napkins the planks of the picnic table • The Bubbleman from 3-4PM • Cooler with ice packs • Waterproof or water-resistant blanket or cloth • Playthings: stomp rockets, footballs, • Camp chairs soccer balls, kites, • Bug and bird guides buckets, nets

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 35

0516_snohomish_health_1-4.indd 1 4/12/16 3:51 PM w

wellness

The core problem Is a ‘mommy makeover’ right for you? By Malia Jacobson

ike most new moms, Olya*, 31, expected less common, any issue with the area can wreak to go forward with the surgery,” she says. “I needed her body to change after pregnancy and havoc on a woman’s physical appearance and to be able to care for my children without pain. Lchildbirth. But the Bellevue mother of two quality of life, says Kim. That’s the most important thing to us.” didn’t anticipate how drastic the transformation Enter mommy makeovers, designed to help would be. Six months after giving birth to her women regain their pre-baby bodies. The surgery Therapy without bandages second child, she still looked six months pregnant. can include a number of different procedures, Surgery isn’t always the obvious choice, however. Well, sort of — her belly didn’t actually resemble including breast augmentation, breast reduction It can be pricey, carries risks and often isn’t pregnancy’s evenly round bump. Rather, it slanted and vaginal tightening. Depending on the needs recommended for women planning additional to one side, with a protruding belly button that of the patient, mommy makeovers can also correct pregnancies. That’s when nonsurgical pelvic floor looked like the end of a half-inflated balloon. prolapsed, or collapsed, pelvic organs, including physical therapy (PT) might help. She felt cosmetically disfigured, she says, and the uterus, bladder and vagina, to remedy pelvic While PT can’t repair abdominal muscle tears that wasn’t even the worst part. Every day, she pain, urinary incontinence and pain during sex. or hernias like a surgical mommy makeover can, a fought lower back pain, aching numbness in her Plastic surgery is nothing new; according to 2016 study shows that basic strengthening exercises legs and debilitating fatigue. “By the end of the day, I couldn’t even stand up,” she says. Worried that something was seriously Mommy makeovers wrong, Olya consulted her primary care doctor, who scanned her pelvis via ultrasound and can also correct declared her healthy. Unsatisfied, Olya made prolapsed, or an appointment with her ob-gyn. After a brief physical exam, her doctor suspected diastasis collapsed, pelvic recti, which is a vertical separation of her lower abdominal muscles, and an umbilical hernia organs, including near her belly button. Olya was referred to Helen Kim, M.D., of the uterus, bladder Proliance Surgical Specialists at Bellevue’s and vagina Overlake Hospital Medical Center. Kim confirmed the diagnosis. Pregnancy and childbirth had left Olya with severely damaged abdominal muscles. Unable to properly support the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the effectively treated mild pelvic organ prolapse, her lower back and internal organs, Olya’s number of tummy tucks performed in the U.S. helped stop urinary incontinence and reduced or compromised core caused her backaches, leg pain increased 85 percent between 2000 and 2010. In eliminated pelvic pain. Common exercises include and weakness. Seattle alone, the number of locals researching pelvic floor contractions (aka Kegels), lunges, And there was even worse news: All the sit- mommy makeovers has jumped 32 percent in the squats or small, controlled movements such as ups in the world wouldn’t help. The strain of past year, according to Seattle-based RealSelf, an squeezing a rubber ball between the knees. pregnancy had forced the muscles to separate online community and resource for information The results can be surprising. Tacoma mom beyond the point of self-healing. The good news: on cosmetic procedures. Amber started pelvic floor PT when her now There was a fix. Olya needed an abdominoplasty These fixes cost a pretty penny. Because 2-year-old son was 6 months old. She wanted to and a hernia repair, a package of surgical procedures such as breast augmentation and stop leaking urine whenever she sneezed. Amber procedures better known as a “mommy makeover.” vaginal rejuvenation are considered elective, figured she needed to tighten her pelvic muscles, they’re often not covered by insurance. (Surgeries but PT revealed that it was her overly tense pelvic Fixing the floor such as hernia repair and to correct prolapse muscles that were actually causing the problem. Olya is not alone. At least one-third of all women usually are.) Per RealSelf, mommy makeovers cost Amber’s physical therapist used vaginal experience problems related to the pelvic floor — an average of $12,000, but can set patients back biofeedback, an electrical readout that showed a hammock-like layer of muscle and connective as much as $50,000. But many women, including the levels of tension in her pelvic floor, to help her tissue that supports the uterus, vagina and bladder. Olya, say it’s well worth the cost. learn to relax those muscles. While tears in the abdominal wall like Olya’s are “My husband and I talked about it and decided “Now, I’m always mindful of tension in my

36 • May 2016 • parentmap.com *Name changed for privacy w

Largest Selection of

pelvic floor,” Amber says. “I know As for Olya, she got surgery last Toys in Seattle what to do when symptoms flare up.” September. She’s still recovering, but Open A doctor’s referral isn’t necessary her back and leg pains are gone, and We Keep since for PT, although many women talk her energy has returned. At her six- 1987 to their ob-gyn or midwife about the month checkup she was given a clean Healthy option. Treatment is often covered bill of health and told to “go out and Play by insurance and generally involves live life.” That, she says, was always Alive three to six sessions every few the goal. weeks, with exercises assigned as “I wanted to be active with my “homework” between sessions. kids. I wanted to play with them and It’s never too late to seek out pelvic chase them and lift them up. That’s floor PT, says physical therapist Peg Follow what this was about, for me,” she us on Maas, a board-certified women’s says. “Recovery has been tough, but I Facebook! health specialist at Seattle’s Swedish would do it again.” n Golden Teddy Awards Medical Center. “There’s not a window of time for addressing these Malia Jacobson is a nationally (206) 782-0098 | toptentoys.com concerns, even if it’s been years since published freelance writer specializing Greenwood: 120 N 85th St | Downtown: Paciﬁ c Place you gave birth.” in health and family topics.

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WEEKDAYS | 6:00a SATURDAYS | 10:30a

more PBS kids shows KCTS9.org/kids-picks

38 • May 2016 • parentmap.com family + food

EDITOR’S NOTE Angela Stowell is CFO and partner at Ethan Stowell Restaurants in Seattle, which encompasses 12 restaurants including Tavolàta and How to Cook a Wolf. Angela also Celebrating all the mothers helped found Eat Run Hope, an annual 5K and culinary event By Angela Stowell that benefits the Fetal Health Foundation. Angela and Ethan have two young sons.

spent my first Mother’s Day under the covers, and peanut butter in my hair, and I will do so with barely able to breathe, my eyes swollen from a deep gratitude for my chance at motherhood. Ihours of crying. There was no breakfast in bed, I will celebrate myself as a mother who knows no flowers or Mother’s Day brunch. I had given both profound grief and profound joy. I will birth 10 months earlier, but on this day, while my celebrate the army of strong, resilient mothers, mom friends were at home reading handmade cards some of whom you will never celebrate because and eating burnt pancakes, I was trying to survive they remain childless mothers. I will celebrate the one more painful reminder that I was not actually women in my life who have lost adult children and a mother. Not yet, maybe not ever. My twin sons, know that not a day goes by, much less a Mother’s Nathanael and Gabriel, had been stillborn after I Day, in which those brave mothers have not, for was diagnosed with a rare disorder of the placenta even a second, stopped loving their dead children. called twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. To all of you women who have faced infertility, So there I was, a childless mother on a day that miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant or child loss; to was, ironically, created by a woman who never had those who have lost their adult children too soon: I children. And I was angry. I was angry at all of celebrate you and the wonderful mothers you are to the moms who lovingly complained, as I do now, go away. I am still the mother of two babies I never the world and people around you. n about whiny toddlers and Popsicle-stained sofas. I got to bring home from the hospital. But I am also was angry at the world for being so insensitive to Get help, give help the mother of one of the world’s sweetest 3-and- all of the mothers who have lost children and who Parent Support of Puget Sound (psofpugetsound. have to celebrate their motherhood in the shadows a-half-year-olds, who was perfectly placed in my org) offers support groups and resources for of those with living children. life to help heal my heart. I’m also the mother of a parents who have lost a baby. Global Alliance There was nothing I could have done that day to very outgoing and outspoken 22-month-old. And to Prevent Prematurity and Stillbirth (GAPPS) take away the rage and pain that only a mother could I am a better mother to both of my living children strives to improve birth and maternal outcomes feel, because I was a mother, despite the loss. because of my loss. globally (gapps.org). And Seattle Children’s It has been almost five years since the stillbirth This year, I will probably celebrate Mother’s Day Journey Program offers help to grieving parents of our twins, and even though the rawness of that like most moms with small kids and busy lives. (206-987-2062, www.seattlechildrens.org/ first year of grief has subsided, it will never fully I will still jokingly complain about syrupy kisses clinics-programs/grief-and-loss). Ceramic Painting Birthday Parties at PaCeramicint the To wn One Click Away Encouraging smart choices Painting in a wired world EverBirthdayy child’s wi sh come true! Jo Langford, M.A. Parties... author of Spare Me ‘The Talk’! series Every Child’s Wish Come True! TUES, MAY 24 WIN University Village arentLab $500 cash, Paint the Town The Art & Science of Parenting overnight at (206) 527-8554 Fairmont Olympic University Village parentmap.com/lectures and more! ceramics-painting.com(206) 527-8554 | ceramics-painting.com

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 39

0516_LS_Langford_1-8h.indd 30 4/18/16 10:27 AM ages + stages

Is your baby a musical prodigy? 0–2 The answer is yes! By Michael Berry

s your baby the next Mozart? While unlikely — normally, the rhythm and tone of your voice Infants can also readily differentiate between the nearly superhuman Mozart achieved fame convey important information about the intention notes that are at least a halfstep apart — from a Ias a violinist, pianist and composer all by the behind your words. white key to the adjacent black key on a piano, for age of 5 — most children are born with incredible That’s why any song will help your baby better example. They show a preference for consonance musical abilities that eclipse those of adults. understand the world. “If you don’t know many (combinations of notes that sound pleasant) as Nurturing these abilities will spur your baby’s songs, make them up,” says Butler. She suggests opposed to dissonance (combinations that sound social, intellectual and emotional growth. using popular Christmas carols or hymns that you harsh); some will even show discomfort when they “Children deserve the opportunity to develop know well and changing the lyrics. “New words hear dissonance. Similarly, infants tend to prefer all their sensory capacities, in order to live their about diapers and mushy rice cereal do quite well.” happy music (upbeat and in major keys) to sad lives to the fullest,” says Patricia Shehan Campbell, Music and intellectual growth music (slower and in minor keys). professor of ethnomusicology at the University As babies become more familiar with a particular of Washington (UW) and an expert in children’s Listening to music does more than engage your song or style, they start to predict what will come music. “The sounds that surround them stimulate baby; it introduces him to patterns of repetition next. Music provides a safe testing ground for our their listening ears, and the musical expressions and variation. Infants, says University of Toronto predictive abilities, says Ohio State University they experience are pathways for understanding psychologist Sandra Trehub, are good at making music theorist David Huron, and it teaches us to the world in which they live.” judgments about musical sounds. They can, for keep a steady beat — an important life skill. Making music is a social activity that encourages example, recognize when a melody raises or lowers “Keeping a steady beat is a time-management bonding, aids in a child’s intellectual growth and all the notes at a consistent value. skill,” explains Butler of Joyous Noise. “Walking, helps her learn and share emotions. The earlier crawling and running are all done to a specific beat you get started, the better — you don’t even — usually the child’s internal steady beat. There are need any talent or equipment! In fact, many fine motor skills that are linked to the ability you’re probably already helping to keep a steady beat, too, such as cutting with your child become more musical, scissors and writing smoothly.” whether you know it or not. Music and language We’ve all been guilty of using a singsongy voice when talking to baby. It turns out, however, that Walking, lilting manner of talk might be good for your little one. crawling and “Singing is slower than speaking and very deliberate, so babies hear the words and the order running are in which they come more clearly when we sing,” says Allison Butler, director of education for all done to a Joyous Noise Studio, which has six locations in specific beat the Seattle area. “The rhythmic patterns and the intervals catch and hold a baby’s attention and — usually the engage him or her more fully than speaking alone.” It doesn’t matter what you sing, only that you child’s internal do so. Singing helps infants pick up on important features of spoken language. Many song lyrics steady beat are written in grammatically correct, complete sentences, while music’s repetitive structures reinforce important words. Even when you speak

40 • May 2016 • parentmap.com SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS

Is your baby a musical prodigy? Enrolling for Fall 2016 The answer is yes! Ages preschool - 6th grade By Michael Berry American Montessori Society accredited

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Schubert and McPherson suggest Music and emotion Co-op Preschools Even in the womb, a child becomes that while an infant’s musical brain Parent-Child Center accustomed to sensations associated is still underdeveloped in many with particular emotional states. The respects, it is sophisticated enough to mother’s voice, heartbeat, digestion extract meaningful emotional cues and walking speed offer physical cues from music, particularly when paired to emotional states through pitch with the pitch and rhythm of spoken and rhythm, says Richard Parncutt, language. an Australian professor of music “By learning to listen,” says cognition. Campbell of the UW, “children If you have a teenage girl, there’s a 50 percent chance grow more deeply she’sengaged already sexually activein andwhat a 33 percent chance she’s “Powerful . . . discusses sex and relationships “Spare Me ‘The Talk’! At birth, however, infants possess been solicited by an online predator in the past year. How in language girls will it means to be human.prepared isMusic she for the risks isand realitiesa of sex? understand. This is an invaluable book!” very few emotions themselves, JO LANGFORD should be considered —American Journal of Sexuality Education means of social andYou holdself-definition, in your hands a comprehensive crash course for girlsa into say Emery Schubert and Gary E. staying safe — emotionally, mentally, and physically — while navigating the danger-laden worlds of teenage sex and sexuality in a digital age. This book everything that girls D is the first of its kind for girls and young women ages 12-24, and for parents bridge for young childrenof girls as young as 8. from the

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parentmap.com • May 2016 • 41

0516_SMTT_1-8h.indd 1 4/18/16 12:55 PM SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS Do this to help your kid succeed SAT, ACT, AP, IB — so many acronyms, so little time. But does any At Rising Star Montessori in Tacoma, one test or college-prep class equal success for your child? The short independent and self-driven exploration and answer: No. It’s about general well-being, says clinical psychologist discovery are inspired amidst a joyful, safe Laura Kastner, Ph.D. The University of Washington associate and caring learning environment. professor and author of five books shares her solutions for common problems faced by parents as they attempt to raise healthy, 2041 S. 66th St. • Tacoma, WA 98408 successful children. Read more at parentmap.com/collegetips. 253-468-9149 DON’T IGNORE IT. It can be easy to write off your child’s bad [email protected] behavior. Hormones, lack of sleep, general angst. But your child cannot succeed if he’s unhappy. Address the early signs and risingstarmontessori.org symptoms of emotional and social struggle. Don’t be afraid to get help, be it from a therapist, school counselor or other ally. EXPECT MESS. Repeat after us: Mess is normal. It’s unrealistic to expect childhood (including and especially the young adult years) to 0416_rising_star_montessori_1-16.indd 1 3/7/16 10:08 AM be anything but chaotic. Rather than rage against what you cannot change, embrace the crazy. In fact, enjoy it. Soon enough your nest will be empty. CONVERSATION IS KEY. Child problems only mushroom if left to their own devices. Make time to talk through behavioral challenges including anxiety and stress. If you have a co-parent, don’t always play bad cop to his or her good cop (or vice versa). Foster a sense of collaboration and don’t focus on “winning” the co-parenting wars. EDUCATE YOURSELF. Education isn’t just for your kid. Attend Full-time, Part-time and every parent education opportunity you can. Not only will you learn Drop-in Playcare and Preschool something, you’ll associate with other adults going through similar 425-502-7794 struggles. Reach out to them for support when the going gets rough. thegrowingtreeplaycare.com — Laura Kastner, Ph.D. [email protected]

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Emoji Shakespeare?! 2–10 How to introduce classic literature to your children By Caitlin Flynn

nce upon a time, there were classic books. Books are deemed “classics” for myriad reasons, “If the parents are enjoying the books and it’s And there were children who read those including storytelling, narrative structure, clear that they’re having fun reading with their Obooks — as soon as they were old enough. language, message and historical context. All these children, that’s going to come through and make There were, sometimes, very patient parents who things should be taken into consideration when it a positive experience that will make [those read those classics to their precocious, patient deciding how and when to introduce your child children] want to read in the future,” Mayer says. young children, page by precious page. to a classic, whether it’s the original format or an But remember: Hundreds of years went by this way, sharing adaptation. Lauren Mayer, a children’s librarian It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird the canon with readers only when they were ready at The Seattle Public Library, emphasizes that While it can be fun to introduce books you love in for the existential angst of Victor Hugo and the there’s not a correct way to introduce your kids to formats your child can handle, if you are especially passionate bloodletting of Shakespeare. the classics. Instead, she says, the approach varies passionate about the beautiful That is, until a new millennium dawned, when depending on the book, the child and what language and storytelling of suddenly babies could, quite literally, chew on Jane aspects of the book the parent wishes to share with the child. a particular classic, you Austen while they smashed their dinner peas, and Obviously, a 2-year-old isn’t going might want to wait bug-loving toddlers could dig into My First Kafka to understand the deeper concepts until your child is after a productive day of hunting beetles in the of Moby Dick, Sense and Sensibility old enough for sandbox. or Les Misérables — all of which the original. In 2014, the American Academy of Pediatrics are now available as board books. >> officially began recommending that parents begin However, that doesn’t mean they reading aloud to their children starting at birth in won’t benefit from aspects of such order to prevent education and opportunity gaps adaptations. With these board that emerge when those kids are as young as 18 books, it’s not about sharing the months old. Conveniently, publishers in recent classic elements in a way that will years have filled the marketplace with adaptations result in literary comprehension, but of even the most unlikely classics for tots, such as rather about introducing children to Pride and Prejudice counting primer board books language and its rhythm at an early age. and, for the slightly older kid crowd, graphic The practice of reading any book aloud to novels adapted from the likes of Dickens (Bah! an infant instills the idea that reading is Humbug?). a fun, positive experience. Plus, Although abridged versions of classics have why not read something you always existed, publishers are getting increasingly will enjoy, too? creative with their adaptations. For example, a new series of books aimed at tweens and teens retells Shakespeare’s classics using text messages and emoji. The series includes titles such as YOLO Juliet and Srysly Hamlet (yes, seriously). Publishers are Parents are, like, OMG getting increasingly This growing kid lit trend hasn’t come without controversy and concerns. Parents might be creative with their understandably eager to share their favorite classics with their kids, but some worry that some adaptations of the books’ best aspects will be lost if children read an abridged or “dumbed-down” version of the classic.

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44 • May 2016 • parentmap.com ages + stages

2–10 Introducing classic literature continued from page 43 “It’s all about what the parent is hoping difficult and the pictures clarify the story,” to share with the child,” Mayer says. “If their Dennis says. primary interest is sharing the story, then they When a parent and child read together, it classics should use whatever form is best for their child. allows the child to ask questions and process But if they really want to share their passion for elements of the plot that may be confusing to Accessible classics to read aloud or to give kids in their original form: the language and the structure, and they feel them. At The Seattle Public Library, librarians that’s what makes it special, then they should encourage parents to continue reading aloud to wait to read the original out loud.” their children, even when the child is older and Although there’s certainly a market for reading independently. “They can read aloud or the growing number of adaptations, Mary take turns reading to each other. It’s a great way Bayne and Kathryn Dennis, booksellers to share the classics,” Mayer says. at Mockingbird Books in Seattle, say that A truth universally customers seem to prefer the original classics acknowledged rather than adaptations. They note that friends and relatives often seek original versions of the Parents frequently seek out beloved classics classics as special gifts for the kids in their lives. from their own childhoods when looking for Bayne and Dennis say their primary concern a book to read with their kids. This is a great with graphic novels and board books is that place to start, because their love for the novel the emphasis on pictures destroys that magical, will come through as they read it out loud. imaginative element of reading. Bayne suggests Mayer emphasizes that we certainly shouldn’t that parents read the originals aloud so the dismiss adaptations altogether — rather, they children can use their imaginations to picture should be evaluated on their own merits. “If Treasure the story. a parent really loves Shakespeare or Island “I think reading without pictures is better and thinks their child will enjoy the for kids, unless the subject matter is very story, I say go for it and share it with your child, even if it’s abridged or edited in some way.” It is likely that by introducing the literature to children in a format they can process, they recommendations online will be more comfortable or interested in picking up the original in a few years when they The following websites offer are able to understand the text. recommendations for reading aloud And whatever the format, don’t get too stuck as a family, along with new classics: in the past. Seattle Public Library: When parents seek out recommendations, Family Read-alouds booksellers and librarians are keen to seattle.bibliocommons.com/list/show/ 73413760__seattle_kids_librarians/ introduce “new classics” that reflect the 118213231_seattle_picks_-_family_read_alouds growing awareness of diversity in the King County Library System: publishing industry. While older classics Children’s Classic Fiction reflect the publishing industry’s biases of kcls.org/kids/reading/booklists/ certain eras, works by authors of color, such bibliocommonsBookList.cfm?booklist as Jerry Pinkney and Christopher Paul Curtis, _id=209384013 are finally beginning to get the recognition New York Public Library: n 100 Great Children’s Books they deserve. nypl.org/childrens100 Caitlin Flynn is a lifestyle and entertainment New York Review Children’s Collection nyrb.com/collections/the-new-york-review- writer at Bustle (bustle.com). Before moving to childrens-collection Seattle, she worked at Random House Children’s Books in New York City.

parentmap.com • May 2016 • 45 ages + stages

There’s a vaccine that prevents cancer 11–14 So why don’t more kids get it? By Bryony Angell

n recent years, more and more parents have our own hang-ups about sex denying our kids a What does the vaccine do? become aware that there is a widely available healthier life? The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Ivaccine that prevents life-threatening cancers, Human papillomavirus is actually a group of currently licenses two HPV vaccines. One, protects against genital warts and is available viruses that can be transmitted through sexual Gardasil, prevents four HPV types, in addition for free to many youths, including those in contact, even when a condom is used, and can to HPV 6 and 11, which cause 90 percent of Washington state younger than age 19. be spread whether or not there are symptoms genital warts; the other, Cervarix, prevents two Yet despite this, only 40 percent of American (there often aren’t). About 79 million Americans HPV types that cause 70 percent of cervical girls and a mere 20 percent of American boys ages currently have HPV, with 14 million newly cancers. 13–17 get the vaccine for human papillomavirus infected every year. It’s so common, in fact, that “Almost all cervical cancer cases have been (HPV), an easily acquired and potentially life- the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found to be directly related to HPV,” says Sonja threatening infection. Compare that to the nearly (CDC) says most sexually active people will get at Olson, M.D., a family practice doctor at Seattle’s 80 percent in vaccination rates for meningitis least one type of HPV during their lives. Country Doctor clinic. “If we prevented most and around 90 percent for measles, mumps and HPV also causes genital warts, which about HPV infections, we could eliminate almost all 360,000 people get every year in the U.S. One in rubella. What gives? One leading reason that cervical cancers.” 100 sexually active American adults who have so few children and teens receive the readily We’re already seeing results. Even though genital warts at any given time. available protection against HPV, despite its wide vaccination rates are lower than doctors would availability, could come down to this: our fears like to see, the CDC reports a 56 percent and misconceptions about sex. If we prevented reduction in the number of young women contracting HPV-related infections since the What is HPV? most HPV infections, vaccine’s 2006 introduction. A 2016 study Human papillomavirus is the nation’s most published in the journal Pediatrics showed common sexually transmitted infection and a we could eliminate that HPV rates have plummeted by 64 percent leading cause of cancers of the vagina, penis, among women ages 14–19 and 34 percent anus and other “private” areas. But how much are almost all cervical among those ages 20–24. cancers

46 • May 2016 • parentmap.com So, what’s the problem? medicine at Harvard. “We are currently missing Mandating the HPV vaccine in the U.S. “A lot of the resistance [to getting the vaccine] many opportunities to protect young people has proven a controversial topic, although the comes from the parents,” says Andrew Sinfuego, from future HPV-related cancers.” Washington vaccine itself is safe and proven effective (just M.D., a pediatrician at Seattle’s Group Health state ranks 12th for immunization of females two states, Rhode Island and Virginia and the Cooperative. “The main reason I hear is that (ages 13–17), at 43.8 percent; for boys in the District of Columbia, currently require HPV their teens do not need it because they are not same age range, we rank 13th, at 24.6 percent. vaccines). Side effects are rare; those reported going to have sex or are not going to be [sexually Those numbers are still far behind those in include mild pain at the injection side, nausea or active] until they get married.” other countries. In Australia, for example, the fever. More severe reactions are extremely rare. Olson sees the same thing. “I understand how vaccine is offered in schools. There, in 2014, 73 Ten years on the market and five years of there is the gut instinct for parents of preteens percent of girls and 60 percent of boys turning clinical testing, however, have not dissipated to hesitate about giving their child something 15 had completed the vaccine series. misconceptions. Sinfuego recalls a mother who that will prevent a sexually transmitted infection, got mad after the father of her daughter had her because we all like to think of our kids as being get the first dose of the vaccine. “She said we kids forever and not doing adult things,” she says. hpv vaccination 101 ‘infected’ her with HPV,” says the doctor. “I was Of course, statistics tell a different story: trying to explain that this is an inactivated virus vaccine, so it cannot infect the person receiving 47 percent of teens in a 2013 CDC survey • A series of three shots given over a reported that they have had sexual intercourse. six-month period the vaccine, but she was adamant. She made us place a note on her daughter’s chart that she is Of the teens who had had sex within the last • Most effective if completed before sexual three months, only 41 percent reported using activity begins not to receive any other doses of the vaccine.” a condom. Nearly half of the 20 million new • First dose given: now. Your kids are going to do it cases of STDs each year are among young Second dose: one–two months after Let’s face it: At some point, sooner or a bit later, first dose. people ages 15–24. our kids are going to be sexually active. Most A 2015 Harvard Medical School study Third dose: four months after second dose. All three doses are required. parents, when we set aside our fears or discomfort found that physicians may actually discuss thinking of our children as sexual beings, would the vaccine in such a way that they discourage • Females: ages 11–12; available to women 13–26 agree that we want their experiences to be as parents from investigating the option. “We healthy and positive as possible. HPV is common. were surprised that physicians so often • Males: receive only Gardasil vaccine. Ages 13–21; may be given to males 22–26 It causes cancer. And now, we can fight it. n reported recommending HPV vaccination Recommended for all sexual orientations inconsistently, behind schedule or without • Bryony Angell lives in North Seattle with her family. urgency,” says Melissa Gilkey, Ph.D., the study’s Source: Washington State Department of Health You can see more of her writing at bryonyangell. leader and an assistant professor of population com and follow her on Twitter @bryonyangell.

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parentmap.com • May 2016 • 47

0416_juanita_kids_dentistry_1-8h.indd 1 3/18/16 3:35 PM ages + stages

Untangling teen girl emotions 13–18 Lisa Damour on her new book about the seven transitions to adulthood By Nancy Schatz Alton

lthough I’ve been a teenage girl myself, I’m no expert The goal is to Awhen it comes to parenting one. Looking for guidance, I found have a decent Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into amount of time Adulthood by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. Immediately, I saw myself and my and warmth, but daughters reflected in the book’s true-to-life anecdotes sprinkled with you aren’t going psychotherapy know-how. Take this passage in the first to have both chapter, “Parting with Childhood”: every day “One minute your daughter lobbies to download songs with raunchy lyrics, and the next, she curls up on tween and teen both pull away and hold the couch in the exact same position tight, often on the same day. How do you she adopted at age 6 to read a book explain this push-and-pull phenomenon? she enjoyed at age 8.” That may seem Teens totally want us to go way, except confusing, but, Damour explains, the when they need us. The emotional “seemingly paradoxical behavior is whiplash of parenting a teenager is actually brilliant.” getting pulled in and pushed away again Your daughter, writes Damour, is and again. parting with childhood in fits and Teenagers are like swimmers: The water starts, rather than all in one terrifying is their world, and we are the edges of the go. This process can be difficult for pool holding them together. Eventually parents as they “mourn” the loss a girl has a bad lap and she comes of their little girl, but it’s important scrabbling to the edge of the pool, trying to connect with the woman she’s We typically think of girls at ages 11 and 12 as to get her breath back. becoming. tweens. Why include them in a book with the For the parents, the experience is usually, “I’m Ding! With that, the lightbulb turned on. word “teenage” in the subtitle? so happy she’s back!” For the girl, she feels like a Instead of fearing the natural process of my There’s this expectation that 11 and 12 isn’t like baby at the pool’s edge the moment she gets her daughters growing up, I need to embrace the it really is . . . ages 11–14 can be really intense. breath back, so she pushes her parents away. She young women they’re becoming. Many 11-year-olds want to go to their room and can be snarky and very abrupt, and it’s hard for the There are seven stages to this process, writes close the door. We think we should be getting parents if they don’t expect the push. Damour in her new book, and no right way to along with our kids and if we aren’t, there’s navigate it. For my money, though, Damour is something wrong. How can parents be better at managing our teens’ a pretty good guide. She directs Laurel School’s If I had to have another title for my book it outbursts but also asking them to be kinder? It’s Not About You. Center for Research on Girls, writes a column would have been: If your There’s not a one-size-fits-all response that is 11-year-old was forthcoming and your 12-year-old for The New York Times, teaches at Case Western going to work for all families all the time. The doesn’t want to talk, parents take it personally. It’s Reserve University and maintains a private balance of parenting is getting it right over the not personal: That’s normal development. psychotherapy practice. course of years. Here’s what she had to say about the stages of Before I had a tween, I believed my kids wouldn’t For a rude teenager, we need [a variety of] transition. want me around anymore. Now I know my different responses. There’s [the scenario of] the

48 • May 2016 • parentmap.com I want my family’s Untangling teen girl emotions immunization records, Lisa Damour on her new book about the seven transitions to adulthood By Nancy Schatz Alton right when I need them.

kid said something and the parent These two sentences are underlined leaving the room and not engaging. in my copy of the book: ‘Must we There’s ‘You’re being rude and fight? Can’t we build emotional knock it off.’ Or ‘That’s not really intelligence without fighting?’ like you. Are you OK?’ Any of these Explain this idea. How can fighting are perfectly reasonable responses. help teach our kids emotional Parents feel like there’s one right intelligence? response, but that doesn’t reflect What it comes down is to how the human life. fighting happens. There are fights When we look at really successful when everyone attacks each other, kids, we see that they come from or when people withdraw or when families that contain warmth and people give in. What we want to get structure. The goal is to have a decent to is when we say to the teenager, amount of time and warmth, but you ‘Hey, here is where I’m coming from Inject more aren’t going to have both every day. and where are you coming from Home is a place where we can relax, and can we make this work?’ We and we don’t need to fix things and ______are trying to help teenagers have CONVENIENCE make things right every minute. more insight into what is going on into your family’s In Untangled, you discuss venting inside of them. This helps drive their immunization records. and complaining. What’s the mental health. difference and how can parents Arguments are not always going recognize it? to go well. There’s something When teenagers complain, they can really powerful about saying, ‘I Now you can review, download and print give the impression that somebody just messed up. I had a really bad needs to do something. But most of reaction. Can we have a do-over?’ your family’s ofﬁ cial immunization records what teens talk about can’t be fixed: This is saying, ‘I’m human, I’m online with WA.MyIR.net. It’s ideal for: bothersome friends, bad classes, etc. going to make mistakes and I’m It’s helpful if we ask them, ‘Do you going to try to fix them’ [and also • Proof of immunization for school or camp registration want my help with this or do you just saying] ‘I know you’re human, • Seeing a new healthcare provider need to vent?’ Venting is valuable, you’re going to make mistakes, and • Tracking boosters and yearly immunizations, like the ﬂ u shot and adults do it all the time. We just I’m going to help you fix them.’ • Managing immunization records for an elderly parent need to unload, but we don’t need Then your teen knows it’s OK to not anyone to fix anything. get it right every day. • Preparing for foreign travel…and more! Recently, I asked high school It’s much, much trickier when an juniors what they wanted me to talk adult says, ‘I’m the parent and I don’t It’s Easy. It’s Convenient. It’s Secure. about with their parents. One of make mistakes.’ Teenagers see right the girls said, ‘I want you to tell my through that and know you’re not Call or go online for more information: parents that when I tell them about perfect. Better to own it and fix it my school day, I just want them to together. n 1-866-397-0337 say, “OMG, that sucks!”’Of course, it’s doh.wa.gov/immsrecords really well-meaning [as a parent] to Nancy Schatz Alton is the co-author ask your daughter if she’s tried this or of two holistic health care guides, The Healthy Back Book The has she thought of that, but what she and ‘Blue Button’ the slogan, ‘Download My Data’ the Blue Button Logo, and the Blue Healthy Knees Book. Find her blog Button CombinedLogo are registered Service Marks of the U.S. Department of really wants to do is just dump it and Health and Human Services. move on. at withinthewords.com.

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0416_office_national_coordinator_1-2v.indd 1 3/18/16 6:46 PM someone you should know See an expanded interview and Liliana Lengua meet more heroes: parentmap By Alayne Sulkin • Photograph by Will Austin .com/sysk Parenting is more than checking off boxes; it’s about nurturing positive well-being for both children and parents, according to the University of Washington Center for Child and Family Well-Being (CCFW). No doubt the mission is an important one, but for center director Liliana Lengua, Ph.D., a professor of psychology, well-being means more than good general health. It means flourishing.

How do you define well-being, and how can families improve their What are CCFW’s greatest challenges? own well-being? The greatest challenges are trying to communicate what we do. We focus on well-being at our center because it goes beyond the absence of Multidisciplinary work is complicated and not easily communicated in health and mental health problems to include the idea of “flourishing” — sound bites. In the same way, the problems we are working to address are being happy, healthy, satisfied and successful. We also complicated and not solved with a silver bullet. We are trying to research and look beyond the well-being of an individual child disseminate “whole child” solutions to complex, multisystem problems. That’s and consider the well-being of the family and a whopping challenge! community surrounding that child. Tell us about your research. Parents are absolutely fundamental in My own research examines the impact of stress, adversity and supporting their children’s well-being, and the economic disadvantage on children’s social-emotional development, systems surrounding the parents are critical in self-regulation and mental health. It focuses on the role that supporting them. Families need good living parents, families and other protective relationships play in conditions (stable housing, food, employment, supporting children’s resilience when they experience adversity. family-friendly work policies), good health Over the years, we’ve studied parenting in families and mental health care, safe neighborhoods, experiencing economic disadvantage, an accumulation stable and meaningful social connections of risk factors, parental mental health problems and high-quality, accessible child care and and divorce. Although parents are more likely to educational settings. struggle in these contexts and are more likely Founded in 2011, CCFW is relatively to display problems in their parenting when new. What inspired the idea? they experience stress, it is also amazing how We started the center as a collaborative committed parents are to doing and being the effort among faculty who do research best they can for their children. We see that when related to children’s development, mental parents can sustain effective parenting even in the health and well-being. It usually takes 10–20 face of adversity, children fare better. years for only about 10 percent of research Based on this, I would love to see parents get the findings to impact practice. We wanted to change resources, support, training and information they need that so research had a more meaningful impact on to be effective and to support their children’s well-being parenting, health and mental health practices, education and resilience. I have developed a parenting program that and policy. So we built CCFW around the goal of creating incorporates mindfulness and self-regulation strategies for opportunities for collaborative, multidisciplinary research parents to support loving, nurturing and consistent parenting and disseminating the findings of our research to the behaviors, and I’m advocating for increased support and resources community. for parents in families experiencing adversity. What are you most proud of so far? What is the main message that you want to share with I am most proud of our faculty and staff’s collaborative new parents? spirit and commitment to improving the lives of children There is so much parenting advice out there, and it’s often and families. Each of the faculty affiliated with our center contradictory. The big message that I often share is that parents is an accomplished researcher doing critically important can focus on a couple of main, overarching principles and tap into work, so each of them deserves recognition for his or their own wisdom to guide most of their parenting. Be loving, be consistent and be balanced. For children, the loving warmth and her own research. But as a group, we are committed to consistency they experience from their parents helps them weather learning from each other, expanding our expertise, and the stress and adversity that might arise in their lives. n having a meaningful impact on children and families. It’s inspiring and humbling for me to be working with each of Liliana Lengua with her our affiliates. daughter, Carina Hussing

50 • May 2016 • parentmap.com FOREIGN LANGUAGE RESOURCES A French summertime Bilingual bonus adventure awaits... A new study recently published by the Journal of Each week includes an Experimental Child Psychology showed that children who exciting field-trip or guest presentation. are learning both English and French are better at certain problem- solving tasks than children who are learning only one language. Open to students ages 3 to In the study, researchers measured the vocabulary of English/ 10, children do not need to speak French to attend. French bilinguals and monolinguals at 24 months and 31 months. They also measured the children’s selective attention, or their ability Located in Bellevue. to focus on relevant information while ignoring distracting Visit www.fisw.org information, and the children’s cognitive flexibility — the ability to or e-mail switch between two different tasks. [email protected] “We had them put small blocks in the small bucket and big blocks Music/Dance Film/Theater Puppetry for more information. in a big bucket,” says Cristina Crivello, the lead researcher and a Circus Sports graduate student at Concordia University’s Centre for Research in Human Development in Montreal. “We then switched the rules on them and asked them put the small blocks in the big bucket and big Chinese/English Bilingual Education Program blocks in the small bucket.” 0516_french_immersion_school_wa_1-8h.indd 1 4/8/16 4:42 PM The study compared the results of the bilingual children to the for children 18 months to Age 5 monolingual children, and the bilingual children to each other. “We looked at the relationship between the increase in their Early Learner • Young Preschool • Preschool • Pre-k Programs language skills from 24 to 31 months of age and their performance,” Part-time/Full-Time • Healthy Lunch and Snack provided says Crivello. “We also measured the bilingual children’s doublets, which is their understanding of two works in two Multicultural Learning Environment • Our students are World Citizens different languages with the same meaning. In other words, how bilingual are they?” Contact us for a tour! The researchers correctly predicted that bilinguals with a greater increase of doublets 425-247-7495 would do better on the provided tests. Bellevue, WA ― Nancy Schatz Alton www.rcacademy.us

If you have a teenage girl, there’s a 50 percent chance she’s already sexually active and a 33 percent chance she’s “Powerful . . . discusses been solicited by an online predator in the past year. How sex and relationships Lagarllito’s prepared is she for the risks and realities of sex? in language girls will understand. This is an invaluable book!” JO LANGFORD Today’s —American Journal of 0416_rainbow_childrens_academy_1-8h.inddContact 1 us for a tour! 3/9/16 3:15 PM You hold in your hands a comprehensive crash course for girls into Sexuality Education staying safe — emotionally, mentally, and physically — while navigating the Garden Bilingual danger-laden worlds of teenage sex and sexuality in a digital age. This book is the first of its kind for girls and young women ages 12-24, and for parents of girls as young as 8. girls are Your teen will learn proven, effective ways to: Spanish School • Avoid pregnancy, and HIV and other sexually transmitted infections Spare Me ‘ • Stay safe online and avoid sexual harm • Ask someone out (and let someone down easy) • Understand bodies and body issues, both male and female bombarded • Accept that sexuality comes in all shapes and sizes • Know the consequences of abstinence, indulgence, and everything in between

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