-"•F"—*•'*"•*»»*••
Chijggachuggachuggachug^chijggachYiggachuggachiiggachhggachuggachuggachuggachuggachuggachu^ jr ; - ;':' : (the sound of a Voxbugga)
. •'•.|E;'.'...•-.-V••«:>'•;5:;' it
• -A !'.»5Uifta.i..<>;Litvjt; These are some of the o.k.'s our about a roof that came through with a Like 9 wheels instead of three. little crate has to get before leaving dent in it. Spare doors. our "factory." Easy question—easy answer. No seats—23 windscreen wipers. (It's easy to tell the o.k.'s from the We just put a shiny trim around it And also the more obvious important no's. One o.k. is all you could ever and say,"—next year's model—top things like dust under the floor mats. see.) secret." In the final inspection alone, our We pay 120 men just to look for Simple, eh—so are Voxbuggas ... Voxbugga has to get through more things to say no to. (so are we.) than 300 points without one blackball. And no is no. Our inspectors are known as "Vox- One out of 50 makes it. And work is work. bugga de-buggers. We keep that for ads like this^ We keep them very busy^ ust Voxbugga de-buggers are selected It's the other 49 you seel saying no, no ... : personnel. (90% are 70% blind). • A visitor to our assembly shed once They stop Voxbuggas for little things asked us what we were going to do that you may never notice yourself. Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 1 THIS AUSTRALIA B.B.CA. Move Over Darling For the 34th time since he was State Aid for A.L.P. appointed many years ago the Chair man of the B.B.CA. (British Broad casting Corp in Australia—it was A new venture in fraternal charity plain old A.B.C. in those days) Sir James Darling is being attacked for The Federal President of the A.L.P. expelled from the party for suspected being behind the times: now it is his Mr. Gus Alford, made another plea Fascism the famous Santamaria.— decision to set up an elocution school for justice for our neglected parties Cairns junta dominated the Opposition. for intending announcers. Graduates of "when opening a new local party At this stage several members of the Oxford and Cambridge are to be the headquarters—Labour Primary School Protestant Democ. Movt., alarmed at instructors, (it is understood the British —badminton court complex in Sydney the growth of the Catholic Marxist Government is anxious to pay their last week. He made the old point that wing of the party lead plans to set up fares out.) Reporters caught Sir James parents who sent their children to Protestant Industrial Groups (PIG's as just as he was leaving a meeting of the Labor Schools had to pay tax for State they became known) approved by Victoria League in Melbourne. He education and received nothing out of Gough and thus began to infiltrate the denied charges that he was trying to it—all because they felt conscience party; its main areas of study were impose British standards on the bound to have their children educated the sacral kingship of the Old Testa B.B.CA. When a bystander called in the true principles of politics. To ment (to be implemented with the "What about those black b s in understand the demands of Laborities co-operation of the Victoria League) Whitehall?" he raised his voice: "They we must go back some 20 years. and the Scarlet Women of Revelations. are still British. And we should never But in 1974 Santamaria struck at this forget that we are fundamentally a "threat from within"; and PIG's British peoples. The Commonwealth decided to form the ALP (Anti- may be dead, but its spirit will live on." Catholic), whose main objectives were It was fortunate that most of those to be: prevention of bikinis ban sex within hearing distance apparently did (except in so far as necessary for not understand English, otherwise an national defence) cigarettes, blasphemy, ugly scene might have developed. Sir pornography and popery; its motto James went on to deny any improper was "A Dour Austraha is a Pure parliamentary pressure behind the Australia." move. "The Prime Minister did in fact Hence today's situation. The spec mention the matter to me," he said, trum of the ALP now ranges from the "and also expressed the hope that ho doctrinaries fascists cum Krofiilmacher- circumstance would deprive the ian Trotskyites to the Fabian and B.B.CA. of my valuable services in Gifroyist—Croatian Front with many the near future. One can scarcely call shades between. As the Santamaria this improper pressure. The B.B.CA. said at a convention of the leftist has alwa3's had complete freedom to NCC (Neo-Clericals Club) recently; run 'its own affairs, within the limit MR. GUS ALFORD "Solidarity is All". parliament assigns it." In the 1960's the situation was that the Roman Catholic Church (as it was then; after the Vatican Council it CROQUKT changed its name to the Unseparated Brethren in the interests of Church Shot Again Unity) owned its own system of schools: in 1966 it decided to merge with the Dawn under the Board? A.L.P. so that its schools could receive trade Union siibsidies. At the inaugural Surely the Australian Croquet Australia, we appeal to the Board to meeting of the combined party Cardinal Control Board has overstepped it's reconsider their verdict. Shooting at (later Comrade) Gilroy said union was Hmits now. It may be all very well dawn is much too severe! possible because the A.L.P. would to say that they rriust preserve the good support the church in all objectives of name of the sport, but this latest its apostolate: prevention of bikinis, action of these petty sporting dictators weakening of Protestantism, acquisition is going a bit too far. Miss Dawn of all hill-tops in Austraha, raising Fraser, the victim of this outrageous money. "We see this august union as a decision, has surely been victimised new venture in fraternal charity;" he enough in the past through her con said, "a new extension of the life of nections with other sports, as those of .freedom and love and peace which us with long memories will recall. only true religion can impart". Besides this, surely playing a match — However tensions immediately ap even in international competition — peared: in the Federal Parliamentary wearing skirts a full six inches above Party an episcopal nominee, Mr. Bob the knee is not such a heinous crime Santamaria, rose to quick imminence. as to warrant so severe a penalty. On When Mr. Calwell and Whitlam were behalf of all true sporting people in Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 1 THIS AUSTRALIA B.B.CA. Move Over Darling For the 34th time since he was appointed many years ago the Chair State Aid for A.L.P. man of the B.B.CA. (British Broad casting Corp in Australia—it was "A new venture injraternal charity** plain old A.B.C in those days) Sir James DarUng is being attacked for The Federal President of the A.L.P. expelled from the party for suspected being behind the times: now it is hi.'^ Mr. Gus Alford, made another plea Fascism the famous Santamaria.— decision to set up an elocution school for justice for our neglected parties Cairns junta dominated the Opposition. for intending announcers. Graduates of "when opening a new local party At this stage several members of the Oxford and Cambridge are to be the headquarters—Labour Primary School Protestant Democ. Movt., alarmed at instructors. (It is understood the British —badminton court complex in Sydney the growth of the Catholic Marxist Government is anxious to pay their last week. He made the old point that wing of the party lead plans to set up fares out.) Reporters caught Sir James parents who sent their children to Protestant Industrial Groups (PIG's as just as he was leaving a meeting of the Labor Schools had to pay tax for State they became known) approved by Victoria League in Melbourne. He education and received nothing out of Gough and thus began to'infiltrate the denied charges that he was trying to it—all because they felt conscience party; its main areas of study were impose British standards on the bound to have their children educated the sacral kingship of the Old Testa B.B.CA. When a bystander called in the true principles of politics. To ment (to be implemented with the "What about those black b s in understand the demands of Laborities co-operation of the Victoria League) Whitehall?" he raised his voice: "They we must go back some 20 years. and the Scarlet Women of Revelations. are still British. And we should never But in 1974 Santamaria struck at this forget that we are fundamentally a "threat from within"; and PIG's British peoples. The Commonwealth decided to form the ALP (Anti- may be dead, but its spirit will live on." Catholic), whose main objectives were It was fortunate that most of those to be: prevention of bikinis ban sex within hearing distance apparently did (except in so far as necessary for not understand English, othenvise an national defence) cigarettes, blasphemy, ugly scene might have developed. Sir pornography and popery; its motto James went on to deny any improper was "A Dour Australia is a Pure parliamentary pressure behind the Australia." move. "The Prime Minister did in fact Hence today's situation. The spec mention the matter to me," he said, trum of the ALP now ranges from the "and also expressed the hope that no doctrinaries fascists cum Kroffilmacher- circumstance would deprive the ian Trotskyites to the Fabian and B.B.CA. of my valuable services in Gilroyist—Croatian Front with many the near future. One can scarcely call shades between. As the Santamaria this improper pressure. The B.B.CA. said at a convention of the leftist has always had complete freedom to NCC (Neo-Clericals Club) recently; run its own arfairs, within the limit .MR. GIUS ALFORD "Solidarity is All". parliament assigns it." In the 1960's the situation was that the Roman Catholic Church (as it vvas then; after the Vatican Council it CROQUKT changed its name to the Unseparated Brethren in the interests of Church Shot Again Unity) owned its own system of schools: in 1966 it decided to merge with the Dawn under the Board? A.L.P. so that its schools could receive trade Union subsidies. At the inaugural Surely the Australian Croquet Austraha, we appeal to the Board to meeting of the combined party Cardinal Control Board has overstepped it's reconsider their verdict. Shooting at (later Comrade) Gilroy said union was limits now. It may be all very well dawn is much too severe! possible because the A.L.P. would to say that they must preserve the good support the church in all objectives of name of the sport, but this latest its apostolate: prevention of bikinis, action of these petty sporting dictators weakening of Protestantism, acquisition is going a bit too far. Miss Dawn of all hill-tops in Australia, raising Fraser, the victim of this outrageous money. "We see this august union as a decision, has surely been victimised new venture in fraternal charity;" he enough in the past through her con said, "a new extension of the life of nections with other sports, as those of freedom and love and peace which us with long memories will recall. only true religion can impart". Besides this, surely playing a match — However tensions immediately ap even in international competition — peared: in the Federal ParHamentary wearing skirts a full six inches above Party an episcopal nominee, Mr. Bob the knee is not such a heinous crime Santamaria, rose to quick imminence. as to warrant so severe a penalty. On When .Mr. Calwell and Whitlam were behalf of all true sporting people in Page 2 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965
\^4\^t^J^^
LBJ. 'TouVe doing OK for yourself Richard—Manager of B.H.P.*'
Fred, ''What about me? You know that V.D. Tm Queensland distributor. Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 3
PHILOSOPHY VATICAN Orr Dispute Man in an Although Professor Sidney Sparks that a "definition" vvas hardly apt for Orr died fifteen years ago the question such a concept. In short, no resolution Automated Society of his posthumous reinstatement at could be agreed on. Tasmania rages on. Last week there was a resolution proposed to the MARRIAGE Australian Philosophers Union "That the APU condemns the standover A Gough in the Night tactics employed by the hillbilly Federal Govt to prevent their stand-up strike in support of Professor Orr's re employment". However, the statement was inimediately attacked; one member drew attention to a logical ambiguity in tiie word "that", another detected a c<;rtain "woolly, mystical meta physics" in the abstract reference to til ftFodcra l Government; he suggested that insofar as its denotation was generalised it could scarcely be con A few days ago a Vatican spokesman sidered meaningful; a third opposed The former Anglican Primate of anno\mcod tliat \\ Latin-speaking com- this speaker, pointing out that in fact Aust. Archbishop Gough emerged from putor had been perfected. It .should pfxj)>le httjw what such expressions his retirement at Tonbridge Wells to now be possible to hold an Ecumenical mean though they may not be able controvert a statement made by a Council without bishops. One merely tij (Icjinc them. He read a paper demon- local Catholic priest that a kiss between has to feed the issues concerned into sLating that one could hardly condemn persons engaged to each other was the' computer, along with thc known the (iovt. for a contingent future permissible "in certain clearly defined sympatbivs of the actiral bishops (vary event such us, e.g. standover tactics. ing from Roman to red-hot), allow a circumstances". Better to wait till "dehberative margin", and out comes At this point several professors leapt to after marriage, the Archbishop said, their feet to demand a definition of the decree, 2015 to 42 or whatever thc and even then prudence is necessary. majority is. contingent: it rather assumed an un- He was afraid kissing was on the proven view of causality. Others replied increase. TOILETS ELECTIONS Arrested Anomalies BRISBANE - Vollowiiig in the foot steps of the late (killed in a bar-room At last, after twenty long years, brawl) Dame Merle Thonitone, tnern- there has been a change of Govern bers of tlie Council for Women's ment in South Australia. Thc Socialist Rights shocked the public in the O.C. government of Mr. Walsh has at last state with a plucky sit-in in the Men's been deposed, and the long-standinii" room at Cejitral si a tion. Two were Opposition Leader, Sir Thomas Play- arrested. Claiming that the blatant ford, has assumed power. The election segregation of toilet facilities cannot was fiercely fought, and many allega last indefinitely, as it implies the tions of gerrymandering were levelled inferior status of woman-hood, the against the Government. Sir Thomas Council's spokeswoman, Mrs. Ava Goe, last night stated that his Govenmient said that sit-ins would continue until would undertake an immediate investi the "deplorable" situation is rectified. gation to reverse certain anomalies The Government was rather embar existing in the present electoral boun rassed this week b}^ the ABC's telecast You are just about to skip dary distributions. "My party firmly of the arrival of tlie new Governor, through a Commemoration holds to the principle of one man, Sir Cecil Tweedlebottom, famous ice one vote!" Sir Thomas stated. cream magnate. Asked his opinion Semper written and produced about the hard-won right of women to by- SQUARE drink in bars, Sir Cecil, who appeared Robert Barnes, Richard Pincus, Bryan sliglitly more ebullient than could Baker, Michael O'Rourke, Peter Mc Cawley, Terry Rout, lan Crellin, John Clem-ency reasonably be accounted for without Brown, Roberf Barns, Frank Minos, a high blood level of C^HjOH, replied, Michael Ong and Brian Toohey. Brisbane's ageing Lord Mayor Aid. "They sure ur<.' easier to pick up." Cover: Richard Pincus. Clem Jones is still waiting to build Art Work: John Campbell, Philip Derriman, his Civic Square. An old deed has just OBSCENE Jeraldine Just, Richard Pincus rind turned up provuig that the whole tAarUn Sharp. Crosswc-d: Ernie Bennett, proposed area as well as about a third The Churcli Business Managers: lan Fitzgerald, Glen of that of the City Hall wa? bought Simpson and Allan Sanderson. by Jimmy Duhig back in Depression TAMMER has been arrested for Inspiration: The Bulletin. days for a Catholic School. "Bloody obscenity: one of his cartoons in Authorised and Edited by Brian Toohey. Micks" Clem was heard to murmur. "The Anglican" has been j^udged likely Printed by Watson and Ferguson. "They can de-consecrate it or goto hell." to deprave and corrupt. Page 4 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965.
POLICE Routine Move
-^BRISBANE — Labour member for The Queensland PoUce Force has Townsvilie South Mr. P. Mackie, last rarely been out of the news in recent week charged in the State Parhament years. Only ten years ago the Police that the Queensland Pohce Force Commissioner transferred himself to morale was lower than it had ever been. the Executive Building as Minister of "There is no consistency in the ad Police. Cadet Pizzy No 11111 refused ministration of the force", he said. to comment. Then as now, a pohce Mr. Mackie was conunenting on the department spokesman described the recent transfer of all constabulary from reshuffle as purely routine. the Mt. Isa pohce station to Parhament House. One of Queensland's best- SEX BACK COPIES FREE known detectives, Mr. S. Hohnes was transferred from Angus & Robertson's Development Subscribe now to Sydney's out rageous satirical monthly and to Collins — it is reported that he The Minister for Irrigation (Mr. P. wasn't even given time to pack his you'll receive a selection of our Strong) speaking, at the opening of the naughtiest back issues for free! pipes. . . Political Science Summer School on However, the Minister in Charge of Northern Development said "Much OZ May is soon on sale at Jacks Police, Mr. C. J. Hennett, said that needs to be done to develop the top Central Newsagency, King George there was no particular reason for the half here in Australia. Development at Square; plus selected distributors. transfer, for such moves were going on this point can and will bring new blood all the time as part of the reallocation into our countr)^" He frequently Name; of police duties. "The pohce force must indicated that his department's long- move with the people", Mr. Hennett range plan was to populate the north by Address:, said. (Mr, Mackie was only recently a vigorous advertising plan which would publicise this upper development elected to the Qld. Parliament in the .State; by-election following the death of overseas and win the support of foreign well known personality Mr. Tom Aikens interests, thus placing the whole de who was killed after the passing of velopment on much firmer foundations. Rush 24/- (1 year) or 45/- (2 his Bill providing that bicycles be He denied that these vigorous and far- years) to OZ, 16 Hunter Street, ridden on the right hand side of the reaching plans would eventually lead Sydney. road.) to over-population.
PETER SHEARER PTY. LTD. 230 EDWARD STREET, BRISBANE Isfr Floor (Colony Club Entrance) We have much pleasure in advising you fhat through arrange ments with your Union you are now able to purchase at whole sale from us all mens apparel and leat-her goods. Listed below are approximate retail prices which compared with ours show the vast saving available to you. Retail Our Price Suits (all styles) 23i-25i £16/12/6-£18i Trousers £6/19/6-£7/7/0 £4/10/0-£5/0/0 White Business Shirts 35A-45/- Sports Wear 46/9-65/- Casual Trousers £5/19/6 £3/15/0 Shorts (all styles) 90/-E5/19/6 40/-69/6 Sports Shirts 69/11-49/6 36/..45/- Doctors Coats 61/- 49/6 Dental Coats Similar Discounts Lab. Coats } Track Suits £5/5/0 83/6 All Brief Cases Shoes ( all styles) £4/19/6-£7/l 9/6 £3/5/0-£4/19/6 Full stock of^— Underwear, Ties, Belts, Socks, Manchester, Stockings. Entrance to warehouse by Union Card only. Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 5 35 Years of Triennial Crises
THE MENZIES STORY
This week's cover story is given, with gratitude, to that tireless, devoted leader in whom we place our trust—R, G, Menzies. Master Robert Menzies first entered was soon observed to contain the In that election the crisis was clear: Parliament (as a sightseer) in 1900. occasional thorny thistle. During his "We solemnly believe that the state of His impromptu speech on that occasion first Prime Ministership in 1939, aware the worid is such that we cannot give led to the formation of the Common of the decadence that was setting into ourselves more than three years in wealth of Australia. Writing of the event the R.S.L., and reahsing that it needed which to get ready to defend ourselves. in his autobiography—"The Fall and new blood, he decided to give it some. Indeed three years is a liberal estimate." Rise of the Third Ming Dynasty" He promptly declared Australia to be In actual historical fact we note ithat (Macmillan, 560 p., $25)—he says at war. three years proved instead to be a. "Spontaneity is a virtue. I would rather Apparently not aware of where his Liberal estimate. say what I think, though that be false, real support lay he shipped off all than be a human phonograph". His University students, whaiies, pStriia- As long as the Communists were on;^ thinking on this occasion was to be a mentarians etc. to the ^Middle East. the loose, we couldn't invite any preview of things to come. Whereupon, his feeling of revulsion for Royalty out to Australia, so the next In 1938, young Robert, fresh out of war overcame his better judgement in best thing to do was to send Australia law school and looking around for more its conduct and, at the request of the to meet the Royalty, In the light of" prizes to pick up, entered the upper Australian people, he did the statesman subsequent events, it was quickly House of the Victorian Parhament. like thing and stepped down. realised that the words "Prime Minister (The only significant prize he failed to We note that his brief term wasn't a of..." were understood to stand pick up at Uni. was the Regiment complete write-off: the R.S.L. was before "Australia." Mr. Menzies seized Prize: "My brains are too good to be restocked sufficiently to allow its per the opportunity to travel on the new blown out"). Within four years, the petuation for at least another 30 years. regular monthly flight schedule, intro young politician was Deputy Premier, During the years of this set-back, duced at the time by BOAC. holding the portfolios of Minister for Menzies, realising that Australia wasn't Railways and Attorney-General. He as United as he thought it was, decided Returning in time to prevent Austra applauded the appointment of "that to try Liberal instead. The trade mark lia being internally subverted by Com distinguished legal man", Sir John proved to be acceptable when he was munism, he thus foiled, again, the Latham as Chief Justice of the High swept back into the Government whole five-thousand members of that: Court. Menzies then stood for, and benches on his broomstick policy of party. The Senate election of that time secured, Latham's "vacant and safe full employment, communism, develop was held in May 1953, the crisis being" Federal seat of Kooyong." Two years ment of the North and "Our greatest the proposed Royal Visit—in spite of later he was deputy leader of the then task is to get value back into the the Communists. Fortunately, no assass- United Australia Party. It did indeed inations were reported to police that poimd". year. seem that Fate had smiled warmly on All was not well. The Senate was this brown and happy l^d—here was a controlled by Labour, and the High Anyhow the problem now was to potential statesman in whom we could Court declared his Communist Party stay in power. This he did by keeping place our confidence to last us till the Dissolution Act unconstitutional. With his public statements, usually on end of the century. words of acid he attacked both, and in Communism, brief, to the point, and However, the apparent rosy pathway the same breath dissolved parliament. delivered only at election time. Page 6 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965
The 1954 election was assured by the turn to us in a time of need. We haven't revealed that his department had, in Petrov defecrion. About the same rime been elected. Hence I'm confident we fact, no way of checking upon potential in London, another successful spy story aren't needed and hence there can be recruits and that threats of compulsory appeared--Bond too was to love no crisis," And the world went merrily conscription were sheer bluff. A Royal Russia. Commission set up to investigate these Experience in 1039 had shown that Tiring of the domestic crises that had revelations, resulted in three young the people aren't interer^ted in action kept him in office for 15 years, Sir Rob Ministers of Menzies' Cabinet of 1977 they aro more interested in words. The ert created an International Crisis for being compulsorily drafted. 1955 declion \\as accordingly contested 1964- It was pointed out in no un Another three coBtented years and bv resting on his laurels. Meanwhile certain terms that there were 100 another election in sight. But this time the Catholics-, imdej ihe control ol niiliion people to our immediate North at long last, the red balloon burst. another Uncle Bob had caused the who were only too eager to charge After twenty strife-torn years, the only t-'tleciive oppdsition lo be Ueci- dowii Cape York at the slighiesi facuons within the fJJommunist Part\' mated. Wc thus lookcid furward to im invitation. He then weni on to re acted upon Iheii passionate beliefs and i)in when ihi:s di^iiu^inislied, scholarly, iterate "... we cann'-'t give ourselves migrated to China and Russia tespec- rinil)irioiis ;4enilt::(M;iij could use his more than three years in wliitfh i-'j ^i-i livelv. distinctioti, sdu.hir.vin]) a/ul ambition ready to defend ourselves, Ijideed, fo Australi.r^ .idv.iniage withoul fear three years i? a liberal estimate", of op()Osirion, 190)7 -siill no invasiojt. Nevertheless. But. Ih(^ irieiiiiinni p.rssed by — Men/Jes, Ihished wjih his snccesi* in X marked onh In' tho Suez Crisis, and international crisis, d
enough, not even Moses. Hold back the sea, eh? Just as if he had cut his thumb. A last flash from the wing of the golden bird. The sun is drowned again. The Eternal Flame Death stalks slow, peeping about, then out again Brown and white the limbs that press; Her hair glistens with the shampoo. Firm the flames that kneels above; . Significance is crystallised, Beneath the curve my curves depress etc. Dark awaits the flame of love. So often has my boat of flesh Shoaled in harbourless, dismal seas; Cerebration af Lo{)e Now past rough-grown heads of rock Enters a blissful sea of peace. Beneath my gaze the meditation melts: Now dissolves the sticky cahn My hand grasps the solid word to feel Into beating primal rain. It slip, and fingers close upon my pabn Blood pumped thunder pounds above, Not so when free the Word begins to spiel. Hears the sea crash in refrain. The images of separated minds too strange Then the heads in sudden quake To float on with De Quiros and his raft; Bring in a vine, a stone, a fish, a loaf, Drive 3ny boat up on the rock And see the poet get his miraculous draught. Haii:)Oon poised a catch to make Fires a quick — deflected shock. JAMES MCCR.^WLY Seas and boat and rock dissolve Back into my wrinkled bed. Where she's sat up for a drink Biishland And an Aspro for her head. A. D. HOPEFUL What is music But the screams And the tinkle of cash register Yes Ego And even the bugs I Crawling in my hair is Under the sweaty bosom of the wind Music A strange dichotomy. To my ears Love came and .saw but not CONQUERED, In the mellow autrnnn on the steppes. For the tears of things, Have You Taken Leave of Except after the red dust storm at midnight. Are dull. Your Censors? A profound discorrelation belches out its grimy face— What strange effusion sinks adown and then, after the Stockhausen, peace, the eldritch deeps of twisted thought livid peace of a brain half-grey, far in the pale and desperate light unemphatic, lost in idiot night. II Can any thunder shake it now King out the new roimd of All Soul's Day king-arrogant it strides the earth carols. 0 that I could sink in sleep Wiring them out. upon the sweet conclusion of the On and on, thundering through the black deep. sea air, Riding yet his cohorts come furnace flaring a-Hades oi purple shining yet with hideous gleam coal, a even to thrust their large obscene Surrealist train, carriageless. lance through my unsuspecting groin. Fogs the brain. Verdant and unpremeditated lawn Cornfield ripples, waddles, turns over — eruptsjn confusion and nauseous shock- with the scream of a burnt child. Say, how do we tell the rocker from HI the rock? Sympathy under the Ehns. A tide-race of torrid sympathy. None of us are good —Peter Coolman. Page 8 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965
Attempting to subjugate a miniscule tendency to sesquipedelianism, I can Another Threat only conclude by commenting that Bangkamo's persistent pseudoantidis- Communism, Jews, Birth Control establishmentarianisticism constitutes inescapably a multifarious hazard to and mosquito prophylactics intemarional security, and that his pogromophiHa vestiguously indicates By FRANZ BUTTONHOLER inseparable deviationism and multi- camerate megacephahsm—a threat to Jew and heathen alike. Inevitabl}', the antediluvian, but concerned were undertaken in an nevertheless tenaciously adhered to. attempt to ameliorate the high rate of ebuUience of the Indonesian Communist brichanomatons and gonococcal infec Party (SEXOPKUXP) in respect of tion resulting from unadorned sexual their freedom from post-Barwickian contacts, was immediately suspended. restrictive economic practices, like all Australian Mutual Provident other such claims for popular consump Consequentially, the contemporani- tion, has been revealed at last for what ous implementation of these repressive Society it really is—fraudulence. Despite flatu and obviously anti-semitic measure lent smoke-screening by the Communist- was unarguably responsible for the oriented Queensland Universal Oppress, tragic malarial infestations. In spite of CONSULTATION the truth of the controversial mosquito Security Council representations by the affair is at last fully revealed in Ruben Council for theRestorationof Autonomy Rozencratzenstein's book "Jewish of Byelorissian Synagogues, the matter FREE OF Manufacturers in Communist Countries" was not raised before the General (p. 893 et seq.) Committee of WHO until September OBLIGATION last year, and there, regrettably, it was As Ruben ("Ozzie") Rozencratzen- not acted upon as a result of strong on stein points out, the significance of the objections by the Brazilian Delegate increase in quaternary malaria among (reliably reputed to be a secret Catholic) Life Fire and (Jenerai the pauperized Yiddish-speaking masses who argued that his own country's on Bantang island, and the indubitably experience had shown that malarial Insurance non-coincidental appearance of kichho- infection was far less likely when the esque anti-Semitic cartoons in the mosquitoes in question were syphlitic. Contact— island's only news-publication, "Suvi Further consideration of the question Li Kit Ot" (Crush Everybody) is not was therefore deferred until the 1992 ROBERT J. J. BREMM entirely lost, even on the' elacrimate convention of ECRFE and/or the 1993 Peking-leaning "Canberra Times." In- meeting of the newly-formed Economic A.M.P. BUILDING eluctably, the rise in malaria, was Tribunal of Europe and Asia (E.T.E.A.). QUEEN STREET consequent upon the recent "Bill to BRISBANE Increase Free-Trade," signed by Bang- Despite protestations by the recently- karno on the 1st of January, 1964, retired Barry Goldwasser, the U.S. whose prime target was, without doubt, Senate refused to re-consider his Bill, the intra-asian "cartel" (Bangkamo's which envisaged the bombing of o\vn word) of Jew-controlled raos- Djakarta by "minute" hydrogen bombs quitocidal enterprises. The chief concern and the dropping of the newly-developed involved was David Sitzencrapp's RAM (Rabies and Meningitis) germ Djakarta-based Mosquito Control Cor warfare device into the city's only dam. THIS SPACE poration, who were endeavouring to Nevertheless, it can be expected that, as implement Jonathan Marie-Stopes' has happened so many times in the eradication campaign. Bungkamo's past, his measures will eventually be WAS RESERVED claim that the embargo placed on the effected by the Johnston administration. M.C.C.'s exports to Bantang island The fact that'the U.S.S, "Colossus" FOR were a direct consequence of the (78th Fleet), with its F-962A~13 M.C.C.'s repeated refusals to use Indo rockets of the 6,114th Marine Army nesian rubber, rather than the far Air Force, has been positioned off the . ''VONNIE" superior Malaysian product, cannot be Han Strait, is sufficient evidence of substantiated. David's own comment their intentions. Whether this, like the 8 days after the deadline copy was ttill on the matter ("Independent tests Viet Nam business of 1964-65 will have shown that mosquito prophy precipitate a World War depends on not at the printers lactics made from Indonesian rubber the veracity of Peking's non-aggression consistently fail to have the desired claims. In any event, considering the effect") shows that Bankamo's state perennially unprepared state of Austr- ment, like'the products of the M.C.C.'s lia's defence forces, one can hardly hope state-owned competitor, has at least that a World War now would be as one hole in it. Nonetheless, the embargo beneficial as the III, which resulted in ANY TAKERS? on the M.C.C.'s unholy appliances was the annihilation of Russia. What the FOR SALE: FJ HOLDEN, FAIR CONDITION. duly implemented, and the Anopheles attitude of the Inscrutable Emperor de SEAT BELTS, REG'N. DEC. '65. £110 Education Plan, designed to convince Gaulle would be in any conflict is, of Ring RUSS JACKSON—Ext 26—2 2501 the mosquitoes that the measures course, impossible to guess. 9 a.m.-5 p.p. Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 9
presented to the pigeons in Queen's Park, who have freely delivered their aesthetic judgement on it ever since. In 1932, the City Hall was erected as a desperate answer to Melbourne's Flinders Street Railway Station. Soon THE after it was built, a group of aboriginies living in a tree nearby, believing that Oxley had come back, began shouting obscenities. They were all shot. It was found afterwards that they were only trying to protect their tribal water BRISBJLNE rights. Nothing much happened in Brisbane until the late sixties. Successive City Councils occupied their time by (I) building new and entirely superfluous STORY suburbs, and (2) ensuring that nobody could travel to or from these suburbs on weekends unless they had private transport. WYNNUVi However in 1969 an obscure Brisbane CLEVELAND BEENLEICH dentist became disturbed about the ob vious phalUc symbolism of (1) Kangaroo KtC*. Point and (2) The City Hall Clock Tower. He was also scandalized by the "Obscenities from the Rooftops" MUCH CORNY shape of the Brisbane River, which con veyed to him some obscure anatomical The present site of the fine city of since. Satisfied by this last defiant and reference. He conducted an enormous Brisbane was discovered in 1823 by viscious gesture, Oxley sailed oft" and "Purity Drive", with the help of Lieutenant John Oxley (known affec has never been heard of since. (Oxley's several organizations, including an tionately to his contemporaries as later exploits were actually performed amused group of University Students "Crazy John Oxley"). Gathering together by a spurious carbon copy called Fred calhng themselves the Society for a smallband of dedecated men by Oxley. When questioned afterwards by the Confinement of Immoral Impulses means of recruiting speeches in which Queen Victoria, he declared he had Among Engineering Students he totally misrepresented the beauty of never heard of Queensland, at which a (SCIIAES). This man, a Dr. Jacob the native women in the area (still a faint smile was observed on the Queen's Muckwallow, was immeasurably aided common habit in the southern states), features.) by the fact that nobody took any he supplied himself with some shoddy Brisbane, although slow in develop notice of him, and soon succeeded in his beads and tomahawks and set off from ing, soon gained the title of "Queen object of cleaning up the city. The Sydney in a small boat which sank City of the North". It easily beat Brisbane River was straightened. Kan periodically at inopportune moments. Townsvilie in>. this respect, which garoo Point declared obscene, and the On reaching the mouth of the was not at thaf time a city and so did City Hall Tower was gleefully de- Brisbane River (a quaint aboriginal not qualify. Several imposing structures moUshed by the SCIIAES. De name which he found engraved at the were erected, e.g. Cloudland, the Regent prived of those titillating sights, the mouth), Oxley, bemg by then utterly Theatre, Queen Victoria, etc. etc. It is a local population lost interest in sex and unmaiuied by many days of sitting on little-known fact that the statue of eventually, feeling totally redundant, a thwart, cried out, in Latin, "Brisbane Queen Victoria was exported from Dr. Muckwallow died of despair. delenda est", or, " 'Ere, mates, this is England after Queen Victoria, on seeing However, a small section of the a right turnout". Then, eyes rolling, he it, her features contorted with disgust, community pointed out these salient reseated himself and directed the boat cried "Queensland Missa Est", or facts; firstly, there was a clock tower on directly upstream; the vessel immedi "Tell it to the Marines". This loathsome Central Station; secondly, the^ new, ately sank. artifice (once bright green, most of undeviating course of the Brisbane Oxley eventually landed with the which now has worn oft') was officially river was sufficiently suggestive as it implausible excuse of looking for water, was; and thirdly, there were plenty of and opened trade with a suspicious suburban trains, which were quite group of locals 'whom he found in a phallic enough for anybody. The people nearby tree. They seemed reluctant of Brisbane roused themselves joyfully to come down and merely shouted and made merry. imprecations at him as he offered them The eminent psychiatrist. Dr. Albert beads. The good Lieutenant gave up Freud (no relation) made a study of thc in disgust and returned to his boat, inhabitants soon after this. He disclosed only to find "BRITISH GO HOME" in a bewildered fashion that the salient and "BAN THE BREECH-LOADING feature of the mental attitudes of RIFLE" painted on the sides. Over Brisbane people was their firmly em come by anger, Oxley immediately bedded association of the Lord Mayor, landed furthur down at the site of Elihu Menzies (no relation) with the Kings University College, a fact that Brisbane Central clock-tower. "It's depressed the local residents at the disgusting and horrible," he said. time and has caused no end of trouble Queon Victoria "They're all a bunch of queers." Page 10 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965
Although Brisbane has always had there was a joyous reversal of public its quota of what were once so quaintly feeling, and surfboard sales rocketted. called "surfies," the city did not attain Overnight, Brisbane turned itself into its present devotion to thi.s and other a replacement for Surfers Paradise in outdoor sports until after the Great order to win back the tourist trade. Split of 1979. In this year, an Indo All buildings with any aura of age, nesian General with the unusual name perman ance, or responsibility about of Bill Smith was greeted in Svdnov by them were torn down and replaced b)'" a group of irresponsible University structures made of bamboo and tissue students who threw overripe tomatoes paper. Brisbane joyfully prostituted at him. His pride hurt, he. sat in the itself for the idle rich as Surfers had Men's Room of the airport for three done previously. days and brooded. Ho could not be Among locals, the "surfie" cult persuaded to come out. l-'inally ho reached Incredible proportions. The decided that a mild rcb\ike was called emi)loyinent rate dropped alarmingly, for, so he slipped away to implement it. sales of hair-bloach inerea.sed, ever\' Some months later, b}' some ingenious second car on the roads was a Mini- means which he never divuljjud, he Minor, and tV.ere wore more gang rapes cut away Queensland and towed it off than ever before (those being the to Indonesia. However, ho cur ground major attributes of the cult.) Dr. Brisbane in a semi-circle and left it Funibogling, a renowTitd psychiatrist, IMPLAUSIBLE—Well it was partly behind. Later he cited the following has interviewed a grouji of surfies with the cigarettes. There was all these reasons for this strange omission. (I) interesting results. ciggie commercials showing bronzed Teen ('ity; (2) thc Brisbane River; and DR. FURNBOGLIKG-Would you blond young fellers smoking them and (3) Queen Victoria, which, he declared, say, Mr. Banger, that your devotion to all that, so 1 got. to feeling guilty about wns loathsome. "It's di.-^gusting and the sport of surfing with its reliajice on smoking, 1 had to be a surfte so I coidd horrible," he said, Later lie admitted individual ability rather thnn teajn havo my ciggies. tliat. it being U p.m., e\'erybody in co-ordination is n significant social L- -Were there Awy other reasons? Brisbajie was asleo]) and be was rebellion similar in spirit and in fact 1 VVell. yeah, like nature and all rehiciant to wako thom. Soon after the motivated by the same obscure ajiti- that. Wc feel, we-cr-do feel-that-er-Hke arri^al of Qut-onsland, the Ijidonesian social impulses as the transition during Wordsworth and tbem we-er-v:om" President discovered that Generyl the famous Depraved Sixties from th<^ mnno with-ah-nature. You can't beat Smith had brought Surfer's Paradise Jive (a highly developed dance-fonn) tho oomnuinion with the inscnitablc with him. The General was immediately lo the Stomp, Twist etc. (both complete forces of nature that you-ah-achieve executed. The Indonesian government ly consisting of improvisation and with when you're hanging five on a wave. returned Surfer's Paradise with apol no actual necessity for a partner)? (Mr. Implausible thereupon died of a ogies, which were not accepted. It was N. (Hot Lips) BANGER-Er—yiu-, heart attnck cuused by over excitemoni sunk in the resultant naval skirmish. er—that is so, vus. and lack of oxen-iso, fresh air etc.) The people of Brisbane were stunned ALL—Yo. AJKI so this is. on the whole, is the when they found that Queensland was DR. F.—Do you in fact -dttribute terror of life in Brisbane today. We gone. They remained so until a group your devotion to the sport to the fact havo seen how the threads of history of radicals pointed out that a) the that you didn't make the GPS rowing combine into the single great horrible North had been a constant source of team and were later thrown out of knot that is the Queen Citv of Nonhom embarrassment to Brisbane for some school for manifestations of antisocial NSW. time, and now it was gone; b) Towns tendencies which were disgusting in tho vilie had been taken away and was no extreme? longer a threat to Brisbane's title of N. B.—I would say this, yes. VARSITY Queen City of the North; and c) ALL—^I'oo right. MILK Brisbai\e was now surrounded on DR. F—Do you then agree that, BAR and THREE SIDES BY SURF. At this since you contribute nothing to the COFFEE community, this leads to the inescapable conclusion that you should all be LOUNGE destroyed at once? 229 Hawken Drive, St. Lucia N. B.-^Weil, yes, I suppose so, ar, 71 1395 (scufting with his toe in the sand.) THE FRIENDLY At this point the interview was abmptly terminated by Dr. Fum- PLACE TO MEET FOR... bogling who shot the participants • Drinks • Hamburgers and thereafter ran wildly along the • Snacks • Espresso beaches crying "Hot doggie!", and Coffee laying about him with an axe. It was Open: later found that his researches had Monday to Saturday— deranged him permanently. 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. A later interview by Alfred Lint, a Sunday— reporter for the Sunda)' Thing, with 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Mr. G. Robert Implausible, a retired bank-manager turned siirfie, is equally Under fhe Genial revealing. New Management* af HOT LIPS BANGER LINT—Mr. Implatisible, why did Mr. (r Mrs. Page and Sons Horrible and disgusting ^•Qu become a surfte? Friday, 30fh April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 11 EDUCATION SUPPLEMENT
MARTIN REPORT EMASCULATED
hy J.R.Lawry A Federal Failure Lecturer in Education, University of Qld.
Recently one of the biggest confidence tricks played on The Committee differs from the Commonwealth on the the Australian people almost escaped notice. The result - type of society to be developed. Instead of opening oppor most Australians believe that the Commonwealth accepted tunities for training in a variety of fields for talent, the and will implement the major findings of the Martin Com Commonwealth opposes proposals which the Committee mittee Report on the Future of Tertiary Education. The regards as consistent "with the type of society desired by a relation between the Report and Federal Cabinet decisions majority of Australians" and in the economic interests of need to be placed in perspective. the nation. The Commonwealth obviously wants to restrict Australians had better get used to the idea that the really tertiary education to a smaller fraction of the population big decisions about the future of education are now made, than is considered socially and ecouomically desirable by not by the people, professional advisers, or expert com the Committee. mittees, but by the Federal Cabinet. Before public or The States are constitutionally responsible for education parliamentary debate of the Martin Report, the Prime but financially incapable of meeting the demands created Minister announced those recommendations the Comm for new institutions and the extension of technical and onwealth was prepared to accept and support financially. teacher education. The Commonwealth states its intention State governments were left to make their own decisions on many issues, but unless the States divert money from on other recommendations without additional direction or other vital developmental projects, or obtain additional aid. What a contrast to the federal election handout for finance from the Commonwealth, key Committee proposals science laboratories and scholarships. State constitutional are redundant. responsibilities were ignored then. Now further Comm onwealth participation in technical and teacher education is prevented by state rights. recommendations refused The Commonwealth decisions emasculate the Report. Thereasons are obvious. The Commonwealth did not realize The Commonwealth refuses to accept recommendations how large was the task to improve tertiary education. It is from the Committee that t not prepared to foot the bill. It rejects the social blueprint . All students at universities who successfully complete foreshadowed in the Report for the extension of educational the first year of their course at the first attempt, and who opportunities. are otherwise eligible, should be automatically awarded Later Year Commonwealth Scholarships. Only about two- A small gesture of support to the universities, to other thirds of eligible students at present obtain these scholar old and new institutions, and to students is the total practical ships; outcome of three years investigation. The wave of dis . 2,500 new scholarships be awarded to matriculated appointment which swept universities, teachers' colleges students who enter the tertiary colleges. 1,000 scholarships and technical institutions when the Commonwealth's decis will be available; ions were announced served no practical purpose. . special financial provision be m ade for student loan funds; , interim capital grants of £1.25m be made to the proposed The Martin Committee recognizes the interdependence Boards of Teacher Education. of primary, secondary and tertiary education. The Comm . a separate scheme of scholarships for teachers' college onwealth attitude virtually precludes a balanced programme students be introduced; of educational development considered essential by the . a Commonwealth Institute of Colleges be established; Committee. Without massive financial assistance, stop-go . an AustralianCollege of External Studies be established; development will continue to be the pattern as it has been . no new universities, other than those provided for in the in the past decade. Secondary and university education Report, be established before 1975; developed to the detriment of primary and technical education. . partr-time and external studies at universities be gradually reduced; The Committee regards education as an investment which . university size to be no more than 10,000 students; yields direct and significant economic benefits through in . the Australian Tertiary Education Commission be created creasing the skill of the population and through accelerating to channel Commonwealth assistance to the States; technological progress. In accord with the aspirations of . the Commonwealth consider establishing an Australian individuals and the needs of the community for dynamic National Research Foundation to stimulate inquiry and assist economic growth, higher education should be available to in financing major basic research. all citizens according to their inclinations and capacity. The Committee's concern for the pool of untapped talent which The Prime Minister, in his 24th March statement to the exists at all social levels is ignored by the Commonwealth. House of Representatives, described the development of
Page 14 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965 what it was'. You may remeYnber that ballad that appeared constitute another of our great educational mysteries-they or should have! - in the anthology. are omniscient in assessing their staff and they are im potent in running their schools. We are proud to assert that The Ballad of Queensland English. any si^ns of initiative or independence are usually spotted a long way down the promotion ladder; if the individuals Poetry rendered by our notion. concerned are not bright enough to get out of the service Remained devoid of all emotion. altogether, we certainly see to it that they do not approach Cribs were learnt by teachers deft. the top. Whose minds of all else were bereft. Malignant critics from interstate and abroad have even No need for thought on poetry days, been known to attack our private schools. Yet anyone famil And that way all the class got A's. iar with them knows they are superb imitations - almost of Teacher knew nothing of what they taught, the stature of caricatures - of their nineteenth century That way more and more cribs were bought. counterparts in our glorious mother-country (no, I do not mean N.S.W.). Their staffs are the usual superb independ Another way t'obscure the light, ent mixture: refugees from state systems - some thrown Abridge a novel out of copyright. out; some simply fled; some refused to support the We don't want people reading these, Australian education myth about country schools being Just buy your boolcs, and shut up please. separate but equal. They considered them separate but too damn far away'. You Icnow the questions; don't you scoff; Just learn you teacher's answers off. Understanding's not for us, In exams we must be victorious. lovers and exposure
Tljii^all^jd/^^^ggjl^ja^igj;^ others had lovers in the city - sometimes on the same staff. Some simply couldn't afford teacher training; and rendered: torn apart. this severely limited their choice of schools. Others didn't deft: clever but hard of hearing. want to be unnecessarily upset; their function in life was to bereft: but not as clever as they make out. perpetuate a system that could onlybe offended by exposure crib: an alternative spelling of 'companion'. to educational theory. t'obscure: a popular way of maldng ordinary words obscure, And crowning all this we have our great university, the understanding: an example of the poet's use of foreign ultimate private school, with fees to match. Great institu phraseology. tion though it is, one still finds insidious attempts to subvert this crowning excellence of our educational system. Far too Here we had perfected the most marvellous system many staff are imported and it is amazing how some of our whereby our teachers, in the name of an entirely worthy own dear boys get corrupted after appointment. However, subject that nobody cared about, provided the ultimate our anti-democratic educational endeavours have not been resistance to those insidious forces in our education which for naught. The varsity gets only about forty per cent of the would have our children THINK. Only partly educated and bright potential that started in our schools; and that forty very under-qualified, our teachers, unsure as critics them per cent are predominantly from our very best families. selves, were only too happy to perpetuate the cycle of in After all, what better finishing school is there for our sincerity which created their own insecurity. politer young girls than a few years trolloping through the faculty of Arts ? WTiat better consolidation could we offer of Critics of our system might well point out how over the crudeness of our young men than exposure to the faculty recent years we have been disturbed, both by foreign in of Engineering? fluences and by corruption from within. But we are valiant- for the best of all possible reasons - moneyl The battle is Think of what would happen if those educational forces not lost; merely joined. Personal profits have become small represented by southern envy ever got their way up here. group profits. As individuals become powerful in spite of What would happen to our high university tradition's of us, we can offer them special share issued in publishing bumbling rudeness and money-ed loutishness if they ever companies, or joint authorship in a settable text. This way liberalize and civilize the curriculum and methods of our we still may not win; but we make it damned hard for the secondary schools? What would our 19-year-olds have to opposition. Their ranks are hardly going to swell embarrass do if they could not disport themselves like smutty minded ingly if we prevent their training critical minds. 13-year-olds ? How would you have them ? Sincere ? Mature ? Really interested in learning? Taking a responsible interest in the outside world? It pains me to record such shocking What we do in English we do in other subjects, too; though ideas. The next step would be the development of intellect never quite as dramatically (Ha'.) No wonder we are regarded uals; and what could a decent university ever have to do as we are from the south'. Buttheircovetousness leads them with that? That way disaster lies'. to even worse calumnies. • Perhaps I have said enough as a preliminary statement. Among the nastier suggestions that emanate from south Much, of course, remains unsaid. But then I don't want to ern critics are those that concern the integrity of our great hurt anyone's feelings. educational leaders. They fail to realise that we are the only state in Australia which has' secondary inspectors Next week I'll write on what Directors-General do \dien capable of assessing every teacher on every subject. While they're away on inter-state conferences. others have to make do with their teams of subject-special ist inspectors, we can flaunt the economic superiority of *1 Which is 'Semper Floreat' freely translated for the our system. Not only are our inspectors omniscient, but masses. they have often achieved this exalted state with no training (and therefore no expense) whatsoever. One can understand *2 Cross out one not required. the envy of other states who can only dimly remember such advantages in their distant past. Send your educational enquiries, etc., to Our secondary headmasters, incipient inspectors, all, Dr. D.J. Inkwater, c/- Telegraph, Brisbane. share in this praiseworthy economy of training. They Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 15
BOOKS REVIEWS A Mixed Bag FILMS -Specifically for the film is being cut up Many Are Called. Erosii Phallis. Long- man'.s & Green. 186 pp. 15/6. A Mixed Bag and .sold to L. J. Hooker. Muse's Mcnapause—Ilia Oiioens—British 78|. Director. Ingrmar Blrdmjin. .Saveloy On the whole, a memorable film, and Poetry J065-1985. H.M.S.O. 20 pp. 10/- Theatre. Syrlnoy. a stunning religious experience. Stg-., fiAlO. The Creation. Diioctor, Cecil B. De MiUo. The latest Ian Pheglmley The Tasiminian AiJ' 1920-22. D. Wnison. Jiegent Theatre. Sydney. Melb. Uni. Pres.s. 18 pp. 1)7/-. (."humfalialls. Directors, Burgess I't picture is with us, and Sean Beaner\' McLean. St. James Theatre, Sydney. delivers his usual 24-carat performance. This first novel, thc dehcately-told higar Birdman's new film, "78f", is He receives immoral support from tale of a gang rape, is a must for up to his usual standard of excellence. Ursula Undress, and in 2 hrs. 10 literature lovers. Sam Crud, the hero, The .stoiy of a dernoutcd hag and a minutes shoots, strangles, stabs or is a smalltime hubcap stealer in surgeon on a wav-e-beiiten rock outcrop otbenvisc ends the lives of 26 baddies, Plesanlon, US.\. One evening he and in the luid-Atlantic, it unfolds simply 4 doubtfuls and one CIA man (mistake). the boys rape and club to death two 13 and naturally. The surgeon's Oedepus He spends 52 minutes in bed—never year-old girls in the backyard of a complex, symbolisei.l by his fetish for alone—seducing -"> white women, being hotel. The effect of this traumatic washing his hajids, is the real subject seduced by eight, a negrcss, und a experience on his development as a ot the tihn, and is t However, in the late 1960's Dr. F. R. Lea^/is and Robert Graves both ORDINARY ORSTRALIAN entered the Roman Catholic Church; and the poetry of dark-joumey-and- final-acceptancerevived: one well known example is Little Giddy which begins A Premier Leaves the Ring It IS a pastime to fit time present Into time future, but also a waste- Although nearly twenty years have the very laws of the land, stir every time, elapsed since the now-historic First heart that remembers. But courage If all time is eternally taken to say so, Mt. Isa strike, those of us old enough alone is puny. Only doggedness, stub Eliot is imredeemable to remember can still take pride in the bornness if you like, can achieve truly What might have been is an abstrac memory of the late Mr. Pat Markey, worthwhile goals. "We shall fight them tion- M.P., O.B.E., and of the part he played in the Courts, we shall fight them on the Better left that way. in that heroic struggle. streets, we shall fight them in the There were exceptions to these classes, Mr. Markej^'s untimely death last B.S.D. We shall never surrender. We for instance Marxist ballads: week shocked millions. Loved by all, shall fight them till our goals are won, The world is subject to dialectic he was the epitome of what ever5^ and even after I" These words, for us Materialism, which is dyspeptic Australian should be. Magnanimous in to-day, have a hallowed ring. For bourgeois down the septic triumph, unyeilding in struggle, and No traditionalist, ("The traditions ol Chain them obstreperous in defeat, he helped to the Navy," he once said "What arc Whither, 0 state, wither? (Refrain) make us what we are today as much as they?" Rum, sodomy, collisions, and During the I970's came in quick any man alive (our king excepted.) the lash".) He was nevertheless a succession the Angry Young Women After the strike was broken, he staunch upholder of the established (a minority deviation of the Angry wrote: "It fell upon me in these coming order whenever he was in power. Who Young Men); the Socially Conscious days and months to express the can forget his immortal words to the School whose images are an amalgam people's sentiments on suitable occa Employer's delegation after the 20 of cybernetics and Gestalt, the neo- sions. This I was able to do because hour week had been declared and a Rosseltians; the pre-Freudians, who they were mine also. There was a panicky Bank of England was threaten have created a new myth —cycle white glow, sublime, overpowering, ing calling in all credit?: "Get nicked!" around Mrs. Freud's womb; and, most which ran through our land from end to Even humour was not beyond his lately, the Angel with Seven Scrolls. end." - pale. Referring to the late president of All in all, a juficious selection. No sociologist or scholar, as he has the A.W.U. in 1972, he quipped: DAVID REDBOTTOM led both a simple and aristocratic "This evil man, this monstrous abortion Warson's scholarly account of how way of life which few of his contem of hatred, at once callous and crafty: farm labourers and shop-keepers banded poraries shared. He saw the issue as of him it can be truly said he left the together to overthrow the tyranny of unchanging and simple—the issue of world a little worse for his having lived the Tasmanian establishment has many good and evil. He had an inspirational, m it. lessons for the ALP today. One misses not an analytical view of life. It is But above all he loved Liberty, and though in this picture of Tasmanian said that when the new Treasurer to him the label Libertine may be Labor the true note of British Socialism. came to ask his advice about tbe first worthily applied. "The workers must No GaitskeU-like figure moves in the budget of Mr. Markier's first term as have freedom to strike, no matter what Tasmanian ALP of this period. Premier of Queensland, he dispelled all they're paid." This he believed, and Apart from a few minor factual doubts with the simple riposte: "Strip this he acted upon. errors—the author puts the state it of^ 'eml" It has been suggested that the capital at Launceston, whereas at this His courage stands unquestioned. Sydney Opera House be converted mto period it was at Devonport—the work His carefree disregard of the Bischoff a Peoples Sports Palace and Danse is one of lambent scholarship, filled Storm Trooper Invasion, of the then Palais in his name. Surely no more apt with meticulous detail no doubt garn Premier's thunderings, and indeed, of tribute could be imaginedl ered with much sweat by the author from the historic records of Macquarie Uni. NO MORE CUT OFF HEADS WHEN USING A SUPER DE-LUXE CAMERA Power as I have said before is more important than policies or personalities: WITH EXCLUSIVE KEY HOLE VIEWER TO GET ALL THE SHOT if the ALP is to emulate the British Labor Party in dragging itself out of the The AHSOLER camera is the product rut of Opposition, it must broaden its obtained by using best materials select basis and appeal. Such works as these ed with the greatest possible carefulness and by applying the whole stock of up- reveal the roots of power and should be to-moment technical skill to the making in the hands of every Trade Unionist as well as modem scientific method of and aspiring Labor politician. research. It has its own peculiar ex- James Wopp, . cellent efficatiousness as much as PUNTER COLLEGE One of the Great Public Schools possible. Teaching vacancies — Senior School. Constructed of first-grade balsa with These teaching vacancies have been open for some time. (1) Modern Languages Master — to teach German, excellent Fl plastic lens and Two-speed Latin French and Esperanto to Leaving Standard. (2) Senior Science Master — will take charge of al! shutter: (Fast and Slow). Lavatories and direct practical courses. Applicant: must be willing to act as Sports Masters. LOOK THROUGH A KEYHOLE Remuneration : above award rates. AND BE AN AHSOLER MAN. Applications in writing (if possible) stating religious denomination, favourite brand of rve, marital All export models stamped: experience, political persuasion, etc. should be addressed ti3 the head master. These positions would suit either Manufactured by Muchibashu Honours Graduates or old Boys. Bridge Constmctions Co. Ltd. Page 17 Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT that you live for." "Yes, my bank balance," he replied facetiously. "No, but seriously 1 thmk what you're saying is pretty important, though. But I cl have to give it a bit of thought before 1 gave a definite answer." Next I turned to their actual per formances "How do you feel out there with all those Ughts and screammg girls?" "It's a bit frightening," George admitted. "I'm glad the others are there. But its challenging in a way too . They all agreed that George had some thing in what he said. "I think it expresses pretty well the pains of ftrst love. It's got a pretty convincmg throbbing background, too", he added. Finally, I said: "If I could ask a rather vulgar question,"—they aU smiled—"How much do you earn? Paul answered first "WeU this is a Arse Gratia Ariis question I just can't answer for certain. But it runs into quite a bit", the others Burples, Bangles, and Beads confirmed this, then showed me poUtely, By GERALD LYONS but firmly, the door. As I was being Ufted at 10 floors a but we mean to/' he added^(|uickty. I went down 10 floors a second, my second towards the specially decorated "Our manager said it was most import final impression one oi considerable Burples suite at the King's Cross ant for P.R." The others nodded sagely. admiration for the Burples' intelligence Hilton, I reflected how many other "Now how about your philosophy of and thoughtfuhiess. popular entertainers I have interviewed life?". I said cautiously. "Just to do for The BULLETIN. Back in the boys as successful as you are take thmgs LEGM. NOTICES early I960's there were the Beatles, generally?" "Come on Paul", Drongo TO: PHILIP. DUKE OF EDINBURGH late of said, "you're the bookworm". "Well," Biifkineham Paace London. TAKE NOTK-E tnar the Rolling Stones and George Wallace. EUZAICTH QUEEN has filed Petition No 694 said Paul reluctantly, "I suppose it PK of 1985 for Divorce on the ground of deser After that, the big beat quickly declined tion If vou wish to defend, you may ftje an in favour of the Wail, the symbol of a depends on what you mean." I nodded Swerin^ the Divorce Registry, Supreme Court, agreement. "I mean to say are you MinrBullding. Canberra «" or before 3lst Ma^-ch new generation of Angst gripped lOft"; and obta n a copy of the Petition wiTnoui searching kids. The first big team to talking about reUgion and all that guff? Charge from Me«rs. V.'H. Evatt and Co. Solictors. come from the States was the Wrenchers "Well" I answered, "take it how you TO: CRAHAM KENNEDY, late of MelbtHJr^^^ like. There are other possible outlooks tht State of Victor a. TAKE NOTICE tha* ^,^*'^ —1 remember they had lyrics by RRAMSTON has filed a petition No. 40079638 of on life than the Christian one". "Yes 1985 on the gJounds of frigidity. If you wish to Jean-Paul Surtre, and their bigger hit H»fonH this oltltion you may enter an answer Jn was: "If this were only a meaningful I guess there are. Actually I don't ?he Divorce Kgi?^, Kings boss. Sydney, by the know—it's all a bit difficult to decide. St Day of April.^1985, and obtain a copy of Personal Relationship, baby". he petition without charge f/om Smith Srnlth. "But surely", I butted in, "there is Sniith and Smith, Solicitors, of 107 Eliza Street. After that came a period of revulsion, something at the depths of yourUfe Sydney—S.E.X. MARMS. ReB'strar. symbolised by a new dance, the Chuck. I interviewed a group, the Nauseacs, whose gimmick was a trombone giving a sort of retching accompaniment. However, the kids must have got sick of .them because Festival Records managed to swing a revived minuet— they took a few lines from Mozart and gave them a bit of rhythm. A few other experimental dances had a brief appear ance—the Slouch, the Bong and then the Swerve. Anyhow by now I was at the Burple suite, and fortunately the boys were all in. 1 leapt in straightaway with a leading question: "What do you think of AustraUan breakfasts, kids?" They were a bit stunned, then Drongo Star brightened, "They're pretty good some- days," he said with a boyish grin, "But crook on others". The others all laughed. "Well if you like," I replied, "but have you cuddled a koala yet? No one replied immediately; one BANK OF NEW SOUTH WALES f JUrMMJiM^ stroked a copy of the Bible in alligator leather meditatively. Finally, George said ruefully: "No, I guess we haven't— QUEENSLAND'S PIONEER BANK Page 18 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965 representative of the Communist bloc of the U.N. Mr. Sprinkle's photograph Letters to the Editor of the Archbishop of Canterbury attend ing the funeral of one of the Russian Bishops excluded from the 1964 Con APOCRYPHAL LEGENDS COMMUNISTS AND PEACE ference held in Sydney, does not mean that the Archbishop has Communist SIR,—My admiration for your generally SIR.—As a wheat grower closely in sympathies. The fact that the Prime perceptive review of Professor C. M. H. touch with the political scene, I Minister of Malaysia flew in the same Clark's "A History of Australia", wholeheartedly endorse the remarks plane from Singapore as the delegation Vol. 13,1806 to March 1807, is tempered made by David Sprinkle in his article of North Vietnamese does not mean by a failure to detect certain historical on the recent International Peace and that he is a Communist. inaccuracies which I consider rather Disarmament Conference held in Ade crucial: laide. If this country is to survive as Almost these same allegations were (1) Prof Clark (p. 374) states cate a free nation, it is necessary that bold made after the conferences in 1964, gorically that Macarthur's first pieces of and revealing articles such as this 1969, 1973, and 1978. History has livestock were a jersey cow • named should be published. shown that those charges were abso "Suzy" and a four year old hen Of course, wehave been presented with lutely groundless — as are these. The apparently ignoring the authoritative "proof" by those attending the Con cause of peace is not served by .writing thesis survey of J. DeWilt Can (Stan ference that it is not Communist and publishing untrue and emotional ford; Ph.D. 1886) "Australian Class inspired; of course, they have done articles which simply serve to dis Consciousness As Evidenced by Naming their old trick of inducing prominent credit such Conferences — which is Of Livestock, 1806-1810", which states personahties to "sponsor" the Con what they are designed to do. (p. 936) that the cow was in fact an ference. All I can say is that I would J. M. HOWLES Aberdeen Angus bull and fails to have thought that U Thant and the mention the hen at all. Archbishop of Canterbury would have (2) "introduced beech, oak and silver known better than to get mixed up CRASSNESS fir" (p. 10) should of course read in phoney peace moves. We are all in "introduced to ihat area beech, oak and favour of peace, this has been said SIR.—Once again I shudder in horrified silver birch". time and time again; the question is— embarrassment at the crudity of Aus (3) Nightsoil from the officers mess what price are we prepared to pay? tralian Life which thank God I fled was not deposited as Clarke assumes The answer, sir is that peace con some years ago! The decision of the in the common pit where the Archibald ferences are too high a price. N.S.W. Govt, to investigate ways of Fountain now stands, but at a point 1 feel that I should point out that reducing the recently-estimated cost some hundred yards to the West. selling wheat to (That Country) is of the Sydney Opera House of $576 million reflects the Philistine mentality I regard it as most important that certainly not likely to help them in the long run, although it might be of which Australians are still crass enough our early history not be obscured by to call "democratic". In any civilized apocryphal legends of this kind. immediate benefit. Firstly, by raising their standard of living, we are breaking country no such government could H. M. ALLIS their will to fight; and secondly, with stand a moment longer. Canberra {A.C.T.). the valuable foreign exchange earned, "ARTIST" our Government, my local member has London (U.K.) told me, plans to buy more defence CENSORSHIP equipment; and so in the long run, INDEPENDENCE "That Country" is the loser. SIR.—The latest outrages of the Com monwealth Literature Board of Review Thanking you again, and Congrats SIR.—-The decision of the British are beyond comprehension. For on all your good work. Govt, to grant independence to its instance, with incredible insensiti\aty A. J. FLANKER former colonies, Wales and Scotland, Eidswold, Qld. must fill aU true patriots with appre to true art, they cahnly ban as "tending hension. One does not like to drag the to deprave and corrupt" James Hadley foot in liberating, of course, but are Chase's thorough study of King's SIR.—In piis article on the recent these areas capable of responsible Cross polysexuality "The Man Who International Congress of Peace and self rule? Or is Britain itself? Surely Got Even with His Wife". In fact, of Disarmament, held in Adelaide, Mr. the solution is to constitute a course this book is a brilliant study of Sprinkle has presented a distorted small International Colonial Authority, liberation: of Henry Smith's liberation picture. which could simply annex aU the from a life of impotent sodomy to the It is simply not true that the organiz world's territories one by one. Many richly varied and full life of a mixed ing Committee was controlled by benefits would surely result: brothel, and of his wife Mable's Communists — two of the fifteen Com liberation from being alternatively mittee members were members of the (1) America and Russia would lose gigolo and prostitute to being a Liberal Party; seven were clergymen; any sense of domination, being con permanently hibiosexual call-girl. At three were members of the Australian scious they were but subject colonies; their own poetic level such experiences Labor Party; one member was from of affirmation are exactly paralld to (2) Nations desirous of "emerging" the Australian Universities Staff As could be saved the trouble of costly the profession of a nun. For far too sociation, one from the National Union long we have tolerated having our civil wars, as the Authority would of Australian University Students, and not possess any troops they would reading circumscribed by the narrow only one of the Committee members morality of the censor. have to overcome; on the other hand was a member of the Conununist Party. there would be no one to grant them H. MAC QUEEN Neither is it true, as Mr. Sprinkle independence and they would be saved Brisbane. implies, that U Thant came as a the upsets of political growth. Friday. 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 19 (3) Eventually all nations would band together with the common aim Around Melbourne of expeUing the Authority. At last peace would reign. Culture Comes to Melbourne STUDENT Brisbane, Q. In the more exclusive suburbs of the Toorak area it is still the done thing to have a high hedge of about 40ft in Wars height, but more use of barbed wire and Sir, land mines is expected to be made since The violence of Mr. McQueen's the outlawing of armed guards and dogs, attack on Professor Thornton and all which were stationed outside the houses like 'Imported" intellectuals [The Bulle with orders to shoot at any of the tin. i8/U/85) suggested a basis of neighbours or passers by who dare look response to the oflending views some at the house thus destroying privacy. what more complex than a simple conviction (bsused on evidence?) that The artists have stated that Mel (lie Ie>s conformist and iUiberal sexual bourne's character depends so much on cLhic given implicit support therein the ugly unpainted,- high,- timber would have damaging rather than barricades and that to paint these beneticial social and individual conse would not be rubbing an ugly blot from quences. the face of'the citf but would be re • I have no itlea to what extent This week Molboumians heaved a moving an essential part of the person seKurd wickedness iu AustraUa aud sigh of relief: they hud managed to open ality of sprawling, cold, impersonal Germany caused the First and Sccoxid the gleaming symbol of their own Melbourne, (and besides it is cheaper to World Wars respectively, and am intellectual stature -the Cultural Centre just do as everyone else does and slop a biguously; though I should myself be in St. Kikla Road fully 10 years couple of gallons of used sump oil onto inclined, with my husband, to expect a before the (proposed) opening date of the wood once a year.) connection between individual lack oi the Sydney Opera 1-Iouse. Please for .sexual wickedness and individual readi give our glee, Init we must congratulate The Victorian Premier cut oft his ness to go to war (as is illustrated by the ourselves on this achievement. And as a water at 2.00 p.m. last Tuesday in the female warriors of Israel). However that lesser corf»lkir>' we now have a fitting most dramatic bid yet taken by the may be, Mr. McQueen might find home for our collection of art, by far the Southern senior statesman, against reassurance in the following comment most superb in Australia. l3efore now Fluoridation. from the ABC's recent lectures on the Braque, Russell Drysdale and Chine.se Middle Ages: *'... a well-known man jade were cluttered up together, and In an interview outside Flinders St. of letters has^remarked,^ as a truism, when one took one's friends to admire Station, Mr. Bolte said "This whole that the-Roman-Empire decayed as a our collection one was discomforted by situation is most distressing, old man. direct result of excessive sexual in the large number of other citizens doing I vowed I'd make a stand on this issue, dulgence. I regret to say that this the same thing, not to mention the but tliere is a relentless agitation vieVv, though it has since been taken crowds of children bought by their within me. I feel I must soon shift my up with lugubiious zeal by Church dutiful parents to "pick up a little ground. If only the people of Victoria dignitaries, rests on no discoverable culture", But it vvas always plea,sant ...". At this point the Premier rushed nevertheless, and not time-consuming: foundations whatever." across the street into a local hotel, 1 have often taken guests through tVie In point of fact, certain remnants of presumably to see if his sole inspiration, whole gallerj' in 20 minules stop])hig in Cliloe, was still there. the R<»man Empire foundations are front of the Rembrandt's rmd Gains cleiirlv discoverable, as any tourist to borough's and saying "What exquisite Rome will iell you. The difiiculty then Now you may say what has all this colouring- -but w'hy are thev mounted got to do with Health. Political well wouUi seem to Iiinge on whether so badly? I believ.'; Ihey co.st £100.000 Austijdia did in fact go to w^ar a////; being is a delicate thing. One ntttds to :ill loldi Ihe Felton Bequest ol covuse." lire the imagination of the voters with Genmuiy (imj'lying wilHugncss to Ihr riu-n orr to llie inod*:;ru art jusi reinark- act) or againsl. a key issue (it doesn't matter if you're in.i,' ".Most of it does nothing to me—it ill informed, they're all dumb anywny) \.Mrs.) G. lioran i.H v,ither cheap really - bu( look at that (Senior Lecturer —"take a stand" as the man said, be :!loi'i>>us Sydney Nolan. TJien out againdecisive . Dept. of Decenoy buying a print at the {U)iir. University ol Qld), \ ri Imildfirs and Or on the other hand Tom Lehtev iirchiiocis has reronnncnded the adop may havo been right after all, t ^^p^^i ^ ^ 1^ » ^ ^1 If uri^-g- "1 tion »>f 18ft hij^h fenc«s ior tire standard r Melljtiiune House. Tliis snrplants the "And when you're old and grev d<.'ar PLAY previous sixit-en fool high fence which has been standard since ihe JlHO's. The Your teeth begin to rot." new fence w;is adopted because the roofs of housris showed over the top of Perhaps many voters are re^dising af* Toowong Squash Courts tlie fences thus indicating that there that: clicking dentures make a boni 27 Campbell Street, Toowong was life behind the fence. This wius parliamentary orator a mere mortal regarded as an intrusion of one's after aJL 7 5025 :: 7 4247 privacy when one's hot water geyser CONCESSION RATES could not overflow without the neigh 6 a.m. to -4r }J.mp.nri.. weekdaywccNucjysa bours and passers by seeing it, ROBIN Page 20 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965 A HISTORY OF SCOOP With an Emphasis on the Early Years No one of course is ever able to staged a show in 1959, ('Sin Henery') April, 1960) was again encouraging:— say precisely why something like 'Scoop' favoured off-campus theatres. Already The Scoop Company for the third suddenly appears on the university comparisons were being made. Roger time has presented a revue for which scene. The only explanation that I can Covell in The Courier-Mail (17 April, no allowances need be made. This is a offer is that in 1958 there was a very 1969) remarked that university revue big thing to say for any student activity. talented and energetic lady called at home "is evidently better than Never once did anyone need say, "Its' Loma Bollman on the campus. Miss university revue abroad." Semper (1 quite good when you consider thy're Bollman was an honors graduate in May, 1959) was also comparing the students, not professionals". The day psychology, co-editor of Semper Floreat Revue Society with 'Scoop* (which it no one needs to say this about "Semper", in 1967, and a veteran of all but one had called 'the illegitimate revue the editors will probably bum down the revue of the University of Queensland society' the year before):— 'Scoop is Refectory in celebration. Revue Society from 1954. She formed succeeding commendably in its attempts This time Semper dared to make a the 'Scoop' company partly in protest for originality in scripts, the perennial more sweeping comparison than it had against the then recent tendency of the bugbear of the Rialto Revue.' 'Scoop,' before:— Revue Society to recruit talent from Semper declared, 'has in two years 'The scripts had originality and wit, outside the Univeristy and partly to created a new University tradition.' and lacked the unsubtle^ pathological show that students could produce a The Telegraph (17 April, 1959) said nastiness which is too often a feature of revue that did not depend upon that that nothing in the revue was weak; University humour. This year's Scoop unfortunate local brand of ersatz and the best was excellent. was not far, if at all, below the standard Americana that is even now not The producers of 'Scoop IF, Susan of Phillip Street in its palmy days, and unknown to television viewers. Priestley and Peter Stapleton, showed was certainly better and brighter than 'Scoop' in 1968 was an intimate that they had more confidence than Mr. William Orr's latest two offerings.' revue produced under austere con their predecessors by running for four The Telegraph (6 April), Courier- ditions. It ran for two nights, cost ten nights in the middle of April. This Mail (6 April) and the Bulletin (27 pounds and—^was successful. Semper time Shakespeare's 'Merchant of Venice' April) were all enthusiastic. The last for instance, on 26 June, 1968 said:— was (to quote the program) 'melodically mentioned went so far as to conclude:— 'The group which produced this revue mishandled'. Bassanio confesses his did everything it set out to do.' love to Portia in these immortal words: The Bulletin (2 July, 1958) was also 'Portia, Portia- encouraging:— 'Prune a few "straight" Give me your answer do. numbers, curb one or two exuberant I must force-ya artists, however talented, and this For I'm so in love with you.' pattern of revue, new to Queensland, Michael Charlton was made to sum may well become one of the happiest marize a test match thus:—• links between St. Lucia's sandstone 'Now with the game in this position tower and its public' There will be an intermission There were many good scripts in the While the players take their tea first 'Scoop'; Perhaps the most success With the score at one for three. ful was one performed, by Loma Macdonald made a duck . Bollman herself. It concerned the then ^^^lich was really shocking luck. topical occurrence of an Australian It appears he was unsighted actress returning home to have a baby. By a beer can which was flighted Perhaps the most extraordinary item , At his person by some lout or was a thuty to forty minute musical Other sitting in the outer. adaptation of Shakespeare's 'Julius So this morning was exciting Caesar'. With both sides in there fighting The encouragement given by the For a draw.' critics was not wasted as it happened, With 'Scoop II,' 'Scoop' began to for the next year 'Scoop IF was grow up financially as well, with gross staged, again in the G.P. Hut on the takings of well over £100.0. 0, but with St. Lucia campus. This old building production costs still in the vicinity of was in many ways very convenient ten pounds. for university intimate revue, the Then came 'Scoop III,* stiU hi the chief advantage being that students G.P. Hut, but running for six nights, could go to the show after lectures at costing £302. 6. IJ to produce with jiight. The Revue Society, which also gross receipts of £672. 12. 4. Semper (28 COVIR DISICN lY ilU NIXON Friday, 30th April, 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 21 'Until Brisbane gets a Phillip Street 'Scoop IV' was definitely a more V, stiU in the G.P. Hut and Robert Revue of its own, this ingenious Uni. polished show of the same type as Greenwood and Robert Hart 'Scoop show seems the best thing of its kind 'Scoop III.' Five of the 1961 scripts are VF, while Greenwood alone produced the city is Hkely to enjoy.' being produced in 'Seoop VIII.' 'Scoop VIF. It has become a university Of the twenty-two items in 'Scoop 1961 saw the entry of Robert tradition to see 'Scoop' and (we hope) III,' eight are being repeated this year Greenwood into 'Scoop' and the un to enjoy it. The only unfortunate in 'Scoop VIII.' AUeight were favorably fortunate loss of Joan Lyndon who had aspect of the present situation is that mentioned by critics. 'Scoop III' was left Brisbane for Sydney. She did, 'Scoop' has no competition on the the year 'Scoop' achieved its mature however, contribute some very fine campus. But who knows? There may be format and style. It was still produced scripts to the show. another Loma Bollman somewhere in the G.P. Hut, but this seemed to be The more recent historj' of 'Scoop' is among the present students energetically no disadvantage because audiences well known. It has followed the pattern preparing to challenge 'Scoop' even flocked to see it. In 1960 for the first of 'Scoop III' in producing original now. I hope so, because everyone, time it was produced by Tony Skoien scripts and music performed as far as including 'Scoop,' would benefit. and the writer, and directed musically possilijje by students. David Jackson J. W. B. Helman. by James Thomas whose originality of and Elaine Wilkinson produced 'Scoop composition and execution added depth to a show that still relied much on well- known tunes. Because of the lack of adequate back stage facihties, a com pere, Michael .Bryce, had been inc-luded from the begimiing of 'Scoop' to allow (,(, scene-changing to be carried out un disturbed. By 'Scoop III' Bryce had Johnnie Water' built up a following of his own. Many of the scripts in 'Scoop III' showed a new maturity. Gone was any attempt at continuous 'gagging'. Social comment was more evident. A Gamma of 'The Brave New World' has this to say:— 'I'm glad I am a Gamma Grub Because I hke to smoke the stub Of someone else's cigarette. It's got more flavour. I s'pose you think I'm coarse and rough That I don't wash myself enough. But I like dirt—it's natural.' In 1960 'Scoop' also acquired its best-ever female comedienne in Semper editor Joan Lyndon. Her virtuoso performances as a short-sighted T.V. viewer and Medea combined ear- splitting dehvery with side-splitting wit. 'Scoop IV in 1961 was an even bigger financial success than 'Scoop III' with gross receipts from an eight night run in the vicinity of £1,300. The critics were again pleased with the offering. Semper (28 April, 1961) enthused thus:— 'Historians still cannot decide the exact date when the Renaissance began. Probably they never will, but the Re naissance of University Theatre can most definitely be dated for 1958 —and Scoop I. Scoop burst upon a University whose theatre had sunk to its lowest point ever. The Dramatic Society was the battle-ground for competing cliques; the Revue vfas sliding into a stagnant decay in which obscenity masqueraded as htmiour/ The now mature 'Scoop', Semper noted was 'extraordinarily popular' as BORN 1820—DRUNK AT LAST indicated by patrons 'forming queues hundreds of yards long and delaymg starting time for up to half-an-hour.' Page 22 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965 MOTORING Cellarmeiser Accepting an invitation to a wine- tasting evening is always pleasant, but when I was invited to sample the New Box-Look Attractive celler of Max Heidleboom last week I accepted with more than usual antici pation. I was not disappointed. Max's taste is excellent, not only in wines, but also in decoration. We sat in deep-cushioned Queen Anne leather-covered chairs in a ::iubtly- lighted tasthig room carved out of pure North Shore rock — sejisibly left bare except for a Picasso and a copy of Manet's "Olympia". We started with a mellow Pen folds Bin 118 Dry Sherry — a verv piquant wine indeed. The 19.98 is still the best, but a little scarce now. A Sao and Arrlffondt: cheese to clear the palate, and on to a remarkable red: the incomparable '69 Kirmussen, with its laughing bouquet but coy textnre. After working our way through s«)me unexciting mixed desert wines, wc enrne to a magnificent Yalumba Pink St'Ct - lOSO, the best year for this wine, as the baums were BOADIGEA Reviews the 1985 Furd Foulcar very low indeed. Some rime later we camo to the Although lacking the facihties of a takes 12 seconds!) but this is only to be piece de resistance of the evening — the motoring giant hke Voxbuggas, the expected in so under powered a car. almost unobtainable 1931 Chateau Rim Furd Motor Corporation has managed Cornering is good, although the gyro- baud of Lussoid — which Max told to produce a reasonably saleable new stabilizer tends to whine in really nippy mc he'd bought quite recently for compact this year—with an accent on manouvres. Low-speed manouvres are $73 a bottle! Almost as good was the safety that might appeal to the more not made any easier by the 29 turns saucy 1982 "Italian Vermouth" actually cautious. Really just a rehash of the '84 from lock to lock, but the small tuming a heavy sweet sherr>' of McWiliiams, Zoomer. the Foulcar sensibly uses an circle (180 feet) helps to compensate for or was it Pen folds? A youngish wine, uriderstressed 500 H.P. (2,000 lbs this. Parking is no real problem as the it should be good by '88 or so. static thrust) by-pass turbine with car is only 27 feet from nose-cone to fin. StiU later we "had a Goldburgh preheat rather than tlie more powerful The four-stage compressor notwith Special "80 Port, which went well with ' 7.50's and 1,000's of its competitors. As standing, the car's fuel economy is poor; the Sclummelpennink cigar that Max Henry (Fink) Furd the third says, it used 14.2 gallons/hr. at 170, and gave me. Then an 83 Schupper claret, "Who wantTi to t};c.ee.d 200 anyway?" nearly 9 even at 110. Suspension is fair, I think, or a Crock. Unfortunately. I This, and the reworked body styling but I'd hate to take on some of the lost my notes at some stage of the ("ultra-modern box-like look," to quote country's poorer roads, such as the 50 evening — I think when Max was the literature) constitute the major mile "horror stretch" from Brisbane to trying to roll an empty 100 gallon keg changes from the Zoomer. the Goldcoast, without checking the over his pet dachaund to make hun Hut a host of minor chauges have oleo pressure first! even lower —so I am unable to give a. been made which jnslily the Company's With the casualty rate on om" roads full commentary on all the wines we claim that it's "the safest car on the reaching new heights, (driver-lifo-ex- tasted. road." A return to metal panels is pectancy now standing at :J road The evenhig went very well all round, daitued to make the car capable of months) the Foulcar's accent on safety although I think the pohce could find sustaining a crash at 35 or 40 MPH is timel}', and at £17,000 it should better things to do— there's more of without injury to the ]vassenger3~as prove a good seller to the more elderly that sort of thmg in regular houses, long as they arc wearing the (optional) buyer. The virid day-glow heliotropes and they don't break into ihem — and safety belts. Unlike the more con and shocking pinks may well appeal to 1 feel that Max was a bit unreasonable ventional plastic panels, the metal ones the ladies. It is perhaps unfortunate to accuse me of dehberately damaging are supposed to be capable of being that the Furd Corporation have con his swimming pool —my car must "beaten back to shape" when dented, tinued to adhere to planned obsolescence have rolled into it durmg the evening. rather than replaced. Disk brakes on —^giving the Foulcar a life of only both wheels, combined with extra- 5,000 miles. large drag flaps, ensure a smooth stop For the younger driver, the Foulcar's from 150 in less than hall a mile (as the stable-mate, the '85 Rover, with a 500 writer can testify). A return to the watt dazzle-light, stauiless-steel four- eight head-lights common on '81-'82 foot pedestrian spikes, ultra-light models, and a radar surveillance wamer papier-mache bodywork, and a claimed are also features of the Foulcar. 270 top speed, might well cut into the On the test run, the car's performajice Holderii and Valkyrie sales. It looks might be described as sluggish, (0-100 particularly attractive in blood red. Friday, 30th April. 1965 SEMPER FLOREAT Page 23 BUSINESS AND FINANCE scholastic record is not the best, wool has been marketed for over five Starting at the you have the right stuff in you. If you years and since all comeback attempts Bottom pull your weight, and play the game, have been failures, we, the Wool we are sure that you will be worthy of Promotion Board of Australia, are The rise of John P. Gasper (President the school..." vesting our interests into the promotion of the Board of Directors of Amalga For the next six years John worked of synthetic fabrics. Advertising cam mated Austrahan-American Oil) to the hard at his studies, but still found time paigns of mammoth proportions have highest echelons of business in Austraha, to row in the first eight, play in the begun in all comers of the globe, points out a moral for every young first eleven, and ruck with the first sponsored by our funds in trust. In man. His is the story of a man who fifteen fcr his last four years at Aton. return for our support all manufacturers began at the bottom, and by sheer At the age of twenty-one, he matricu of sjmthetic fibres have agreed to state talent and work, won through to the lated and enrolled at the 'Varsity. on their labels that their garments top. Even today, at the top of the Before he could finishhi s course, he was contain 1% wool and 99% synthetics. ladder, he is no man for artificial offered a job in his Uncle's firm as The wool produced by Australian formalities—he is known to all the assistant to the manager. So, at the graziers will still be purchased, although other Directors as "J.P." age of twenty-seven, J.P. took his very httle, if any, has been produced J.P. left school at fourteen, and first big step into life. in the last five years. Thus, several worked for a year on a fruitstall. One year later, the manager was hundred bales (at least) of greasy wool Forced to arrive at work every morning forced to retire through ill-health, and will be macerated and burnt in at two-thirty, and sometimes not J.P. took over his job. Typical of the factories all over the world." getting away till eight or nine at night, deals that J.P. had arranged during With men hke Gunn at the reins, it J.P. leamt the meaning of work. After the year was the order from a large seems that there is a sound future in a stroke of luck hit the family—J.P.'s firm for one hundred boilers within a store for our wool growers, be they a father won the casket—J.P. won his month. J.P., although he knew that handful. way back into school. He was awarded the plant was working to full capacity, a Special Scholarship by the principal and that deliveries were a month A Hot Touch behind, gave a very low quote and won of Aton College, Sydney Heights. Coals Chain Stores Ply. Ltd. is one to Although J.P.'s father had recently the order. By putting back all orders a month, J.P. was able to get the boilers watch. The manager Mr. W. C. Chain been elected as Vice-President of the today announced his expansion plans Parents and Teachers Association, the delivered only two months late. In the interim, the price of iron rose, and for overseas sales where chains have Principal, in offering the scholarship, become an integral part of fife with the made it quite clear that it was not J.P. was able to increase the price by thirty per cent. social upheaval of industriafization because of family connections that causing juvenile delinquent problems. J.P. was being given the chance to F.or the next ten years J.P. worked The new rockers present an active market continue his studies. He wrote" ... it hard for the firm, and became well for the expansion of the chain industry. is only because of the determination known in the industry as a remarkably He would give no definite statement as and courage that you have shown promising young man. J.P. became the to the location of his new plant but during the past year, that we have Vice-President of Directors at forty- three. He and his uncle, who was said he would not be carrying Coals to decided to award you this Special Newcastle. Scholarship—the only one of its kind. President, worked remarkably well as a We are sure, John, that although your team. It was in the 1979 slump, that the plant was hit hard. Having just expanded, the firm had almost no Hove you lost your old 2IPP. reserves, and was soon in financial difficulties. By merging with a subsidu- VIM, VIGOUR. VITALIir. ary of U.S. Steel, disaster was avoided. Licensed Restaurant Since then, the firm has not looked VIRIlin? Roubin Arcade, 119 Queen St. back. J.P. visited America in 1883, and IS YOUR WIFE GETTING when U.S. Steel had a reshuffle of staff Michael Karlos, your host at Camella and last year, he became President of the ALL SHE WANTS? Board of Directors of United States of If Not Then Try A Cubana invites you to a relaxing evening America-Australia Amalgamated Steel. This position involves several trips at Camelia - with its extensive selection NOO MAN each year to the U.S. JUST WRITE TO THE EL TORRO ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION CLINIC, of wines and ales or an equally enjoyable BOX 041 OE. We WiU glftdty Mnd you a pl«In wrapper. evening at i\\e Cubana Restaurant and In the Gun It is apparent that Sir William Gunn Coffee Lounge. has now a Trust Fund of several W.U.S. MISS UNIVERSITY thousand million Australian dollars in DANCE his keeping in Swiss Banks. What is to SATURDAY, 26th JUNE be done with this money (collected over W.U.S. MISS UNIVERSITY the years at the rate of some 300 cents BALL per bale)? FRIDAY, 2nd JULY Now that competition from synthe (Nominations for Miss University Restaurant & Coffee Shop tics has completely abolished wool as a close Monday, 21st June) fabric, Gunn has this to say: "Since no Wallace Bishop Arcade, Albert St. Page 24 SEMPER FLOREAT Friday, 30th April, 1965 SlOCrUlTY AXALY.SI.S Junkett Industries Solid Expansion vs. Taxation Over the last five years Junkett "to" and "for" are full of arithmetic Transport Industries does not seem significance, and in fact it is quite to have attracted much publicity. clear that the result for the full year ^ >ou ^W Prior to this period the Company to next year or even the year after Golden Touch). The situation was now appeared to be frequently in the news. will represent quite an increase in really desperate. Finally, a brilliant Firstly, for the ingenious shareholder mathematical manipulation. lawyer-friend of Junkett's came up benefits resulting from the sale of Over the next few years, a fairly with the solution — buy the Taxation Airlines of New South Wales to East- steady growth can be expected in Department! This solved the problem. West Airhnes; secondly for its take tax earnings and the level of after-tax The Taxation Department was no overs of GMH, BHP, TNT, APM, EMB, earnings which depend to some extent longer a Public Concern, Junkett LCP, IPEC, Bryces, Pony Express, on the equivalence of the terms since subsidised all his money-losing sub Cobb & Co., and Qld. Railways; the Taxation Department is a sub sidiaries (which was what taxation thirdly for its prompt revelation of sidiary of the Company. used to do anyway), and in effect the problems in taxation; and fourthly Austraha has since lived under a No doubt the lack of expansion in for the disharmony which arose when system of Indirect Taxation. ("Be the last five years can be attributed Mr. Holt left the company. Australian, Buy Junkett and your to the unavailabiUty of money-losing income is taxed for you"). There are many reasons why com propositions, and also to the fact that parisons between companies apparently Junkett now owns the Taxation Depart The Balance Sheet for the last in fhe same industry may lead to ment. financial year is as hereunder:— wrong conclusions, and comparisons of Ordinary Capital 48.376.219.846,798.586 1 Both of these factors have played an Reserves 1 the companies supplying transport is important role in Junkett's develop Loan Capital no exception. We in Australia need Current Liabilities (Reggie's ment of the last 20 years or so. The life insurance) 17.478,585,942 not fall into this unhealthy habit, Current Assets Reggie reader will recall that under the terms Fixed Assets , , however, since Mr. Junkett has so of the Public Companies Acts (1944 to Moveable Assets 4 DC3's, 6 727's. 2 horse tied up the industry that comparisons & carts Evermore) no one individual or firm Sources of Funds between transport companies are can have a controlling interest in the Profits $999,999,999,999,999,999 virtually impossible. I say "virtually" Application of funds shares of such a company. By 1970 Liberal Country Party 5333.333,333,333,333.333 because there is in fact one comparison Armed Services $333,333,333,333,333,333 Junkett found himself in the unique Opera House $111,111,111,111,111,111 that can be made — sea transport. It situation of paying so much taxation State Aid will be recalled that R. W. Miller (ALP, Catholic Church $111,111,111,111,111,111 {48% of the total tax income of the Others $111.111.Ml.Ill,III,III resisted takeover bids so vehemently nation) that if he were to make any $999,999,999,999,999,999 that the Federal Government inter more profit he would be Hable to vened and kept up American faith in I would hesitate to be precise as prosecution under the terms of this to the actual allocation of the various Australia's free enterprise by selhng Act for having a controlling interest the Royal Australian Navy to Junkett. Sources of Funds (and I am also aware in taxation. To curb this embarrassing of the limitations of this exercise, Nevertheless, it is interesting to profit growth, Junkett began a rapid owing to the sparse information in look at some figures for some of the period of expansion bought about by the accounts) yet it would seem that companies operating under the JTI taking over as many money-losing the basic source is the Austrahan banner. The general report of last enterprises as possible. The companies consumer. As regards the Application February said ". ... the directors are involved were naturally enough all of of Funds, it would seem fairly obvious confident that results for the full year his opposition (Pony Express, Cobb & that the funds were required basically to June 1984 will be significantly Co. etc) as well as the notorious Queens to increase temperamental assets. better than for the last year." While land Railways. Unfortunately, the introduction of the Reglander proved so To sum up, then, Junkett Transport there is some difficulty in putting some Industries has a good earnings record popular in the latter case that this arithmetical connotation on some words which has tended to le^fQ\ off. Of the like "full" and "better" words like company had to be disposed of when industries in which it is engaged only it threatened to upset the apple cart Television has any glamor so far as by actually making a profit. We note anything is concerned, yet one would WANTED in passing, that since its return to guess that there are benefits to be the previous owners this company has gained by the association with liberal INTERJECTORS become more stable and in fact looks non-city people. hke showing a loss of several thousand FOR MY STAND IN During the latter half of 1984, the million this financial year. share price varied between 2c and 3c. PUBLIC FORUM Meanwhile, the expansion growth It has increased steadily since, reaching IN CENTENARY PARK continued with the takeover of Reid the 4c mark early this year. It is Murray, Stanhill, Roma Oil, Catholic difficult to see any short-term price Subject': Church, Opera House, Army, Navy, improvement, but as a long-term RELIGION Air ^ force etc. until eventually every investment the shares seem sound money-losing group was a subsidiary even at current prices, particularly in E. P. WIXTED company. But still the profits grew! view of the rumour of a take over bid (No doubt due to the System of the by PAN-AM. ACROSS 15. A suit on Ace fits strongly and 3. To wash lightly and then mangle it, 1. The chief vice of the University (2) firmly (1) it assumes an elevated position (1) 4. A chap; also used with a traveller 16. South Austraha reverses to a con 5. Some people ate them, if a piece of when referring to the A.L.P. (1) junction (I) land was given to us (1) 8. Omissions excepted (1) 17. An island sUps in South Australia 6. A superior college with a distorted 9. You might say Gordon and Barry reversed and is.layed there (1) "sole" (1) live off her immoral earnings (2) 18. The Queen's Royal Horse (1) 7. A woman who is this is quite a 13. It's summer in Paris (I) 19. Wrecked Ronald had a meal decora- "Bee" (1) 14. Body odour has the solar disc in tively (1) 10. One thing which is a little insect reverse which is profitable (1) 21. This member of air crew is a card (1) wrecked (I) 22. First member of R.S.P.C.A. men 11. Says the cow; reverse it and a i * 1 K * 7 1 , tioned in Bible (1) Dutchman cries "Uncle" (1) ' ^ ^^^••f 23. The medical men are too polite to 12. Hot cross ones reversed ignores us • f. E^ 7 » u I refer to a clot so use this (1) 16. The defunct Melbourne paper plus 'J * 25. A great relief (1) some hair is a usual reply (1) II 26. Rather a braggart and some man, 18. Queensland Airlines (1) B/^^^ for a Scot (4) 20. Either way it is an exclamation (1) 31. A bindi spoils a thred on a screw (1) '/• 21. An abbreviated rank (1) 32. To be under a reversed omnibus (1) 23. One version of a Jewish name, 1 •7 M 33. You rude, rude woman! We're not think (I) AA JI » afraid of you (2) 24. Pudden's surname (1) li' - 35. The living ... (1) 26. A chap is at bay (1) 31 36. Royal Dutch Airlines « 1 V r /* 27. A belt in judo, but not in the ear (1) Jf 28. To cheat at marbles (1) iHl ^^B''*' DOWN 29. The Commos had better watch 1. Could be the name of a city of idiots this (1) •I n but usually refers to the idiot (1) 30. A pencil (1) 2. A bolt usually used red hot (1) 34. k preposition (1) YOU CAN SAFELY INCREASE YOUR INCOME WITH REID MURRAY Acceptance Limited £1,000,000 ISSUE AT PAR f'tAiifek'mi•' P.A. for 8 and 10 years USED Registered First Mortgage ROLLS-ROYCE Debenture Stock and PAID-UP CAPITAL BENTLEY £6,000,000 CARS Nork Motors get fast, fast, fast relief from 'mini-madness' Symptoms: Extreme irritation when parking spaces are too small for your present car. Tendency to become agitated when passed by a zippy "mini". Acute financial strain caused by large petrol bills. rush tliis prescription to your nearest BMC Dealer. ENGINE: In line, water cooled, O.H.V. 4 Cylinder, 3 Bearing Counter Number Plate Ilium. Lamp: On hinged number plate, Chrome plated balanced Crankshaft. In unit with clutch, gearbox and final drive. Interior Lamp: Over parcel shelf with separate switch in instrument Installed transversely at front of car. cover plus lamp on centre pillar. Bore: 2.478 (62.9 mm). Direction Indicators: Clear Front and Amber Rear, Self-cancelling Stroke: 2.687 (b8.26 mm). switch under steering wheel with warning light. Capacity: 51.74 cu. ins. (848 cc). Windscreen Wipers: Electrical Twin Blades. Max. BHP: 34 ^ 5.500 RPM (Gross 37). Horn; Single HF in centre of Wheel. Max. Torque: 44 Ib.ft @ 2.9QQ. Instrument Ilium. Lamp: Concealed. Switch operates when side Compression Ratio: 8.3:1, Lamps are "ON." Carburettor: SU Type HS2. Warning Lights: Ignition, headlamp, low oil pressure (in speedo), Fuel Pump: SU Electric Type SP. Mounted under Tank at rear. Flasher (in switch). Air Cleaner: With Paper Element. Ignition Switch: In panel wilh key. Fuel Filter: In Pump and Fuel Tank (fixed). Starter Switch: In floor. Hand operated with guard to prevent Ignition System: 12V Coil and Distributor with Automatic and accidental operation. Vacuum controlled Advance and Retard. INSTRUMENTS: Lubrication System: Full pressure to Engine Bearings. Sump forms Speedometer: With mileage recorder, incorporates petrol gauge and Oil Bath for Gearbox and Final Drive. warning lights. Oil Pump: Driven from Camshaft. Internal Gear or Vane Type. Petrol Gauge: Combined with speedometer. Oil Filler: Gauze in Sump. External Full-Flow with renewable Mirror: Single interior anti-glare. Element. Magnetic Sump Drain Plug. FACIA AND CONTROLS: There is one large, combined, circular Oil Capacity: Includes transmission 8 pints approx. Fill to Dipstick instrument in the 'acia v/ith a parcel shelf beneath. The dash mark. When oil filter element is changed, add 1 pint extra: lining above the shelf is of PVC covered board. In the centre of Cooling System: Pressurised Radiator with Impeller Pump and the shelf is a switch panel with chrome bezel on which are switches Cowled Fan Thermostat controlled. for screen wiper, ignition, lighting and the choke control. Cooling Capacity: Wi pints approx. Plus 1 pint for Heater when BODY: 4'sealer, two door, four light Saloon, fitted. Construction: All steel unitary construction. FUEL TANK: Fitted in the luggage compartment on L.H. side. Trimming; PVC covered board quarter panels and trim casings. Capacity 5'2 galls. Filler on LHS of car. Chrome plated filler cap. Headlining of PVC leathercloth. CLUTCH: Single dry plate 7V8" dia. Hydraulically operated by Seats—Front: Driver's and passenger's seats both adjustable. Pendant Pedal. Cushions, foam rubber on resilient webbing. .Squabs, rubberised GEARBOX: 4 speeds and reverse, Synchropiesh on 2nd, 3rd and hair. Covers, leathercloth, cushion has roll on front edge. top. In unit with Engine and Final Drive. Seats—Rear: Cushions, foam rubber. Squabs, rubberised hair. Ratios in Gearbox: 1st 3.628, 2nd 2.172, 3rd 1.412, top 1.0, reverse Covers, leathercloth. There is a parcel shelf PVC covered behind 3.628. the rear squab. There is additional parcel space under the rear Change Speed Control: Central on Floor. cushion and companion boxes at either end. The boxes have FINAL DRIVE: To Front Wheels via Helical Spur Gears, Universal polished aluminium beads on the top edge, and ashtrays mounted joints and open Shafts, Drive casing in unit with Engine and on top. Gearbox. Windows: The quarter lights are hinged. Door windows have 2 Ratio: 3.765:1 (17/64). sliding glasses with chrome locking rail. Overall Gear Ratios: 1st 13.659, 2nd 8.178, 3rd 5.316, Top 3.765, Ooors: Have outside hinges at front edge. Driver's door has outside Reverse 13.659. lock. Passenger's secures from inside. Ooors open from inside by Road Speeds @ 1,000 RPM: 1st 4.086. 2nd 6.825, 3rd 10.499, Top handle. Each door has a large open pocket with aluminium bead 14.824. on top edge. The outside sill finishers are bright plastic. Doors BRAKES: fitted with kicking plates. Door seals fitted with kicking strips, Foot: 4 Wheel Hydraulic Pendant Pedal, Leading an** Trailing Shoes Windscreen and Backlight: Bolh of curved, toughened safety glass all round. Rear brakes have a pressure limiting valve. secured to body by extruded rubber moulding. There is a bright Hand: Central Pull Up Lever. On Rear Wheels. Cable Operated. plastic insert in the rubber. Diameter and Width: 7" x I'M" Front and Rear. Luggage Boot; At rear of car with rubber mat. Lid has hinged SUSPENSION: number plate and illumination lamp so that the vehicle may be Front: Includes Final Drive. IFS with levers of unequal length. driven with lid open. It is fitted with a locking handle, and is Swivel Axle mounted on ball joints. Rubber springs and shock supported, when open, so that additional luggage can be carried. absorbers mounted above top lever. Top levers roller bearing and Spare Wheel Carrier: The spare wheel is 'carried on the boot floor. lower rubber mounted at inner ends. Fore and Aft location by Interior Light: In instrument cover, illuminating parcel shelf, etc., rubber mounted tie-rod. and on centre pillar. Rear: iRS with trailing tubular levers with rubber springs and shock Mudwings: Integral with body. absorbers. Levers carry stub shaft for hubs which have twin dual Bonnet: Has concealed hinges at rear edge. Held when open by purpose bearings. pivoted prop rod. Bonnet lock operated by lever tn grille. There Shock Absorbers: Telescopic Hydraulic all round. is a separate safety catch. The grille has anodized aluminium STEERING: Rack and Pinion. grille bars. Ratio: 2> 3 turns lock to lock. Windscreen Washer: Manual type standard. Wheel: •1534" dia., 2 spoked type. Floor Covering; Rubber covered front wheel arches, rubber mats ROAD WHEELS: Pressed sleet 10" x 3.5. Tyres; 5.20-10 Tubeless.- front and rear. Fixing: 4 nuts. Bumpers: Front and rear overriders. Twin sun visors. ELECTRICAL: Optional Extras: Radio, Heater/Demister, Rim Embellishers. Battery: 12 V. 38 A.H, at 20 hour rale located under floor of boot with cover. Headlamps: 7" mounted in wings. Double filament bulbs with dipping to suit regulation. Dipswitch: Foot operated. Sidclamps: Incorporated with Front Flasher Lamp. Stop and Tail Lamps: Twin red in unit with separate rear Flashers and Reflectors. try one today .. just £779. Mini de luxe £833. B.M.C—MANUFACTURERS IN AUS- TRALIA OF MORRIS 850. MORRIS COOPER, MORRIS MINI DELUXE, MORRIS 1100. AUSTIN FREEWAY SIX MKII. V\^OLSELEY 24/80 SIX MKII. AUSTIN HEALEY SPRITE MKIII & MGB.