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Parent Child Mustn`T Do, Without Offering an Alternative Discipline Is Not Based on Fear Or Threats HANDBOOK ON POSITIVE PARENTING FAIR PARENT FCHILDAI R CIP - Cataloguing in publication National and University Library “St. Kliment Ohridski” Skopje 316.362.1-055.52-055.62(035) PETROVSKA Nevena Fair Parent, Fair Child (electronic source): handbook on positive parenting [Nevena Petrovska, Snezhana Pajovikj-Mishevska, Tanja Bogatinova) – Skopje, UNICEF Office, 2018 Access: (URL): https://www.unicef.mk – The text in PDF file has 101 pages Illustr. – Title taken from screen. – Source description on 15.02.2018 – the publication is part of the project: the handbook is published within the projects “Steps to Positive Parenting” Bibliography? Page 92 – Contains: Annex ISBN 978-608-4787-50-1 Pajovikj-Mishevska, Snezhana (author) 2. Bogatinova, Tanja (author) Parenting – Handbooks COBISS.MK-ID 106214154 2 CONTENTS Introduction .........................................................................................................5 4.6 School age (6-12 years) .........................................................................31 1. Purpose and objective of the handbook ........................................................5 4.8 “Psychosocial crisis” through the development stages 1.1 Why learn parenting.................................................................................5 and inadequate parents` behavior ......................................................40 1.2 New approach to parenting – positive parenting ..................................5 1.3 Who is the handbook “fair parent – fair child” intended for.................6 5. Improving parents` communication skills in relation to the child...........42 1.4 Purpose of the handbook “fair parent – fair child” ...............................6 5.1 Nonverbal communication ....................................................................42 5.2 Verbal communication ..........................................................................44 2. The challenge of parenting ............................................................................8 5.3. Skills for improving the parent-child communication ......................44 2.1 Why can`t traditional parenting models be used today and why are they more damaging than beneficial? ..............................8 6. Improving parents` skills for better cooperation with 2.2 What next? ................................................................................................8 and motivation of the child ..........................................................................51 2.3 What else is important about parenting styles? ...................................9 2.4 Parents` needs and support .................................................................12 7. Positive parenting under challenging conditions ......................................60 7.1 Positive parenting under conditions of family crisis and trauma .........60 3. What is positive parenting ............................................................................14 7.2 Positive parenting in the care of children with developmental 3.1 Principles of positive parenting ............................................................14 impairments ...........................................................................................63 3.2 Practical application of the principles of positive parenting ..............17 Conclusion .........................................................................................................66 4. How children grow and develop – child development stages ..................20 4.1 Child development stages based on their calendar age ....................21 Literature ...........................................................................................................67 4.2 The significance, roles and tasks of child development stages ........21 4.3 Infant (0-18 months) ..............................................................................22 Annexes..............................................................................................................69 4.4 Early childhood .......................................................................................25 4.5 Pre-school age .......................................................................................28 3 Center for integral rehabilitation ФЕР родител - ФЕР дете VIGOTSKI - MACEDONIA The handbook is issued as part of the Project “Steps to Positive Parenting” implemented by the Center for integral Rehabilitation “VIGOTSKI” with financial support from UNICEF INTRODUCTION In the last decades, family has undergone the most substantial and deepest changes in all its spheres of functioning. Still, its significance hasn’t decreased, and neither has its role for children, which is highest on the scale of importance and priorities. The modern family of today is in a specific position of abandoning the traditional boundaries within which it felt safe and protected by the authority of parents, and is facing the challenges of the democratic developments present in all areas, including family life. In such a vacuum where the traditional parenting model is being abandoned, but there is still a lack of clear directions about how to be a competent and responsible parent under circumstances of social change and pressures, parenting has become extremely difficult and confusing. 5 1 PURPOSE AND OBJECTIVE OF THE HANDBOOK 1.1 WHY LEARN PARENTING pleasant for both parent and child. Positive parenting, as a means of raising a child, Parenthood can be planned or unplanned, accepted promotes a new, positive, nonviolent approach to or condemned, independent or in a partnership, parenting. The positive parenting idea makes a supported or nor, biological or by means of adoption, distinction between the strict and the permissive but whatever its form, the center of parenthood is parenting approach to raising children, and always a child that has to be the ultimate priority promotes nonviolent parenting by respecting the of the adult taking care of him. In raising their child`s rights and taking positive action in the children, most parents rely on their instincts and development of his potentials, in the child`s best the personal experience from their childhood interest. and family life. Sometimes, this information and knowledge may be helpful for parents, but in other cases, it can be misleading. Parents make mistakes 1.2 NEW APPROACH TO PARENTING – POSITIVE in raising their children not because they lack PARENTING affection, but rather because they are unfamiliar with some more effective forms of raising a child. We can`t talk about positive parenting if parents Sometimes, punishment of children, especially are too lenient and let their children do whatever physical punishment, is accepted in the family as a they want, or if parents hit their children, yell at part of traditional rearing and is used as a means to them or use other similar measures which contain discipline children. elements of neglect and abuse. These measures have a short-term effect and do not teach good If we look at parenting as a life-long journey, which behavior. starts the moment a child is born and continues throughout time and space, parents need to get to In contrast, positive parenthood means parents` know their fellow “travelers”, i.e. their children. The guidance with lots of affection, empathy and journey may be pleasant and free from problems, respect for the child`s personality by means of but it is often accompanied by obstacles, storms established rules and limits which provide long- and dilemmas about what to do next. Therefore, term solutions. With the application of the new signs are needed along the way to provide better and methods and skills, which surround the child proper guidance and to make the journey safe and with attention, care, support and encouragement, 7 children of all ages become more cooperative, who are planning on becoming parents, but also they react positively to non-punishment and show for those who wish to learn more about parenting. greater flexibility and adaptability. The content of the handbook is adapted to parents and guardians of children of all ages, regardless Observing the best interests of the child is a whether they share parenting with a partner or are precondition for positive parenting and is derived single parents. from the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The fundamental rights of the child include: Positive parenting is applicable to young children, school children or adolescents, but also to children with impairments or developmental difficulties the right to life, survival and development which are atypical to their calendar age, children with chronic or rare diseases, as well as children the right to non-discrimination who were neglected or abused. the right to participation and the right to care and protection. Also, it is intended for professionals who work with children and provide support to parents, such as the staff in preschool institutions, educators, The Convention on the Rights of the Child also lists the psychologists, defectologists and school teachers, obligations of parents, i.e. care givers, especially the social workers, health workers and everyone obligations of the society to ensure the basic conditions involved in family support. for achievement of the highest priority, i.e. the well- being of the child. Note: For simplification purposes, the term parent will hereinafter be used to mean the guardian, foster parent and everyone who takes care of the 1.3 WHO IS THE HANDBOOK “FAIR PARENT – FAIR
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