Paddock Wood and Districts TOWN Crier Paddock Wood, East Peckham, Matfi eld, Brenchley, Horsmonden June 2013

New Athletic training track at Putlands

Local History Rural Life amongst the orchards

Brenchley Churchyard What’s On June Paddock Wood Tel: 01892 833 506

www.bladerunners2.co.uk | [email protected]

June Hair & Opening Hours – For more information visit www.waitrose.com/paddockwood Monday – Thursday 8am – 8pm Friday 8am – 9pm Saturday 8am – 8pm Sunday 10am – 4pm Don’t Forget… We areTIME also TO openGROW 9.45am AND SELL – 10am on Sundays for BrowsingFIELD NAMING Time COMPETITION Beauty Off ers We have donated seed packs to four local primary schools. Their students will grow the seeds and then have the opportunity to sell them in store to raise Earlier in the money for projects happening in their school. Students at Horsmonden Primary year we helped For our existing clients, receive a 50% have decided they will use the money they raise to purchase more gardening to plant trees at CUT & COLOUR Receive a File & Polish with Gel varnish equipment. This project will allow students to develop their knowledge of Foal Hurst reduction on all 1 hour massages! worth £16 FREE with every cut & colour in June, with growing seeds and gardening as well as gaining key skills in handling money woods. We then and selling! We look forward to seeing the results. The following primary were offered the selected stylists. schools are being supported through this project: opportunity to Now only £17.50! help name the - East Peckham Primary School newly created Ask inside for details. Terms and Conditions apply. 20% Off Eyelash Extensions - Paddock Wood Primary School area. We ran a during June. Full Set £32 - Capel Primary School stall in store in - Horsmonden Primary School April and May to allow customers Men’s haircuts £8, £10 & to enter the COFFEE SHOP DEVELOPMENTS HOSPICE IN THE WEALD competition and £12” with Selected stylists. DONATION put forward their In June we hope to be displaying our suggestion. We new coffee shop art work created by In May we donated £500 worth of look forward to students at Mascalls. Make sure you stock to support the Hospice in the Call For More Details releasing the check it out - the art work displayed will Weald tennis lunch. This helped to new name be changed regularly! raise a large donation for the shortly. charity.

Don’t Forget Your Our Opening Hours… MyWaitrose Card! 01892 833 506 Sunday 10.00 - 16.00 Monday 08.00 - 20.00 51-53 Commercial Road Sunday Browsing Time Tuesday 08.00 - 20.00 Paddock Wood, TN12 6EN Wednesday 08.00 - 20.00 On Sunday we are open from 9.45 for customers to Thursday 08.00 - 20.00 browse the store and make selections before the 01892 824 420 Friday 08.00 - 21.00 checkouts and service counters open at 10.00 Saturday 08.00 - 20.00 43 Hastings Road Pembury, TN2 4PB Contents Bespoke worktops WE HAVE THE that fit on top

6 Town Crier’s comment Fitted in one day with 7 Home & Gardens PERFECT no mess or demolition Open 7 days a week 8 Chocks away See us at Polhill Garden Centre Over 60 colours to 10 Fork It! BLEND choose from 12 Property: Character Properties - are they becoming hard to sell? OF WORKTOP STYLES TO Our own professional 14 Local &Topical fitters 14 Horsmonden Primary School Summer Fete 16 New Athletic training track at Putlands TRANSFORM Friendly expert advice and free home 17 BRENCHLEY & MATFIELD BOWLS CLUB YOUR KITCHEN consultation 18 Play Badminton in Paddock Wood 20 Lamberhurst’s heritage and wildlife We can also fit new 22 Health & Wellbeing kitchen doors 22 Health: Vitiligo 24 Homeopathy 26 Leisure 26 Musings of a Mediocre Mother 28 Horses Mouth ; No Nonsense advice to your problems- Lady d’Knight 30 Recipe: Lambs Kidney & Bacon on Toasted Sour Dough with mustard cream 30 Cartoon By Gerry 32 June book & Film review 34 Prize Sudoku 36 Local History: 38 Wordsearch 40 Motoring: Hot Hondas Book a free home consultation with 42 Rant of the month our product consultants and we’ll 43 Community / What’s On show you how easy it is to transform 43 Community Advice your kitchen worktops. 44 What’s On in June Call now 080001892 000 517385 0000 46 Film & Theatre Guide 47 Paddock Wood Choral Society & U3A Next Meeting 48 Business & Professional At Granite Transformations we o er a complete package for updating your work surface and appliances. Fitting a new worktop is fast and e ective with each top custom made to  t your exact requirements. There is no need to 48 Local opinion: Lets get down to business remove old surfaces, we  t directly over your existing surface. We guarantee complete peace of mind from start 49 Paddock Wood Business Association: June News to  nish. Let us show you how we can transform your kitchen with our simply superior surfaces. Desk ShowroomsAnywhere Showroom: open: Anywhere Mon-Fri Road, 9.00-4.30pm Road, Anyplace, Sat Anywhereshire. 9.00-4.00pm AN2 3QF 50 At Retirement? – What happens now? Moor Open: Mon-Fri 9-4.30pm Sat 9-4pm Closed Sundays & Bank Holidays Unitwww.granitetransformations.co.uk/anywhere 5, Tunbridge Wells Trade Park, Longfield Road, Investment Services (nextAnywhere to BuildShowroom: Center), Anywhere Tunbridge Road, Road, Wells, Anyplace, Kent, Anywhereshire. TN2 3QF AN2 3QF Open: Mon-Fri 9-4.30pm Sat 9-4pm Closed Sundays & Bank Holidays www.granitetransformations.co.uk/tunwellswww.granitetransformations.co.uk/anywhere

4 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 Granite Transformations manufacture and install Granite, Stone, Quartz and Glass worktops Get in touch Home&Garden June 2013 O Yez! O’Yez COPY DEADLINE FOR Welcome to the June issue of the Town Crier delivered to 5500 homes in Paddock Wood, July: 12th June 2013 East Peckham, Matfi eld ,Brenchley and Horsmonden each month. To advertise call Joe or You may want to get something off your chest Joanna on 01892 531207 or bring attention to a particular local cause or issue. email [email protected] Uniquely designed to fit into LEAFLET existing timber frames or See us at stand 774 It could be a recommendation of a local service www.twtowncrier.co.uk direct to brick or stone or a review of a restaurant - good, bad or indifferent. Published by: Town Crier Magazines Accurately replicate your traditional style windows SANDOWN PARK, SURREY OFFER 29-30 JUNE 2013 Or do you enjoy writing poetry, local history, or Distribution: 5500 Homes in 5000 printed Available in over 200 RAL colours short stories? Paddock Wood, East Peckham, Installed by our own craftsmen A5 Full colour Full consultation service Are you holding a community event? Matfi eld, Brenchley and If so, get in touch and get yourself heard. Horsmonden each month £150 We would love to hear from you. Delivery £30 + vat /1000 Conservation by design While every care has been taken to ensure the accuracy of the information in this magazine, we cannot accept responsibility for Town Crier 01732 461 919 www.thwc.co.uk any subsequent alterations or for any error, omission or mis-statement in any material published herein. 01892 531207 145 High Street, Sevenoaks, Kent TN13 1XJ Acknowledgements; Angela Boobbyer, Perrin Hayes, Chris McCooey, Michael Taylor, Judy Bowen Jones, Linda Read, Sarah Hamilton, Paul Smith, Gerry Byman.

To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 7 6 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 7 Home&Garden Gardening: Chocks away... We take the We don’t sting out of Are other pester house buying The horticultural afterburners are lit and we’ve internet and by attending specialist fl ower shows agents and letting fi nally got clearance to lift off out in the borders! with fellow geeks – although this can lead to a Time to strap in, switch to 100% oxygen trainspotting-like addiction and madness if not bugging you? to clear the senses, arm the heat-seeking carefully controlled! missiles and blast our way out of one of the most extraordinarily bad winters I have ever Take, for instance, the violet. Normally a bit of encountered and straight into the heart of spring. a scruffy little plant with a smattering of small, The trouble is that the velocity we’ve reached violet coloured (funnily enough!) fl owers at this means that spring this year is going to be more time of year. Just what I used to think before of a shock and awe campaign – over in an visiting Grove’s nursery in Bridport, Dorset explosive splash of colour and rampant growth last week where I was met with what can only before summer arrives a month later. be described as an aromatherapic overload from the vast display of violets they had on Regardless of how short the gardening spring is display. This garden center is the national violet going to be, we should enjoy every single minute collection holder and has every colour, size of it because it undoubtedly represents the very and variety available today – which amounts best season in the garden. The splashes of to hundreds of species and hybrids – most all colour from daffodils, crocus and tulips, softened of them blessed with an intoxicating scent of, by the soft greens of emerging leaf buds and believe it or not, violets! new plant growth, knocks summer’s often frazzled and exuberant display for six. It’s like Suffi ce to say, I am now the proud owner of yet chalk and cheese as far as I’m concerned but, more little gems; this time they are exotically then again, my bias is centered on my interest named French hybrid ‘parma’ violets – well in some of the smaller gems of the plant world worth a few hundred miles drive to collect which are at their very best right now. To be fair, them??? I must be mad – or is it just Spring they aren’t for everyone as they don’t represent Fever?!! the best value (both fi nancially and aesthetically) Jonathan Wild as far as garden plants are concerned and they also need a modicum of TLC which can be Leisure Gardener and Slightly Bonkers… tiresome, unless you are a bit of a plant geek such as yours truly. So what do I consider a gem? Well, without wishing to bore you all with Latin names, I would include the following: coydallis, sternbergias, primulas, ranunculus, narcissus, Firefl y - the estate agent erythroniums, crocus and violets – all of which deserve a closer look either on bended knee or a position that’s simply buzzing! in a raised bed near the back door. Most of them rarely get above a few centimeters high (apart from the bigger narcissus which I have excluded from the accolade of gem!) and most are available locally from Call Firefl y 01892 838363 good garden centres. The more scarce varieties (true gems) have to carol@fi refl yproperties.co.uk be tracked down through careful and diligent searching on the www.fi refl yproperties.co.uk

8 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 Home&Garden Home&Garden Fork It By Angela Boobbyer Your Carpets Dry in 15 mins! cleaned for just

Obviously it depends to an extent where you live are starting to set seed and will put their energy in the UK, but according to a gardening pundit, into that rather than fl ower production. So even £25.00 everything is about a month later than it should if you have fi lled all your vases, keep cutting and per carpet, minimum three carpets be. Nature has a wonderful way of catching give them to friends – you’ll be very popular. (usually £39.98 each) up however, so it may be that by the time this magazine hits your doormat, all the plants may Another favourite annual is amaranthus caudatus Have any three Deal 1: Have any three of your be just a couple of weeks behind. Even so, I or Love-lies-bleeding. It produces drooping of your carpets panicles of dark red blooms – giving rise to its carpets cleaned for just suspect that my mixed fl ower borders will end cleaned, freshened, £25.00 each - £75.00 up looking their best much later than I’d hoped– dramatic name - and for extra drama I have and dry to use in total probably some time in August when I am away always planted the dark red/purple foliage 15 minutes for just Deal 2: variety. In fact I fi nd that it plants itself as it £75.00 in total. Get your 3 piece suite - on holiday! or equivalent - freshened obligingly self-seeds every year. As it can grow for just £110.00 Thats half our I always grow cosmos bipinnatus in the borders to over 3 feet it will need to be staked, as Deal 3: and the cutting patch, as they are reliable the drooping fl owers can drag it over. Again, normal price, just Have any three carpets germinators and will happily keep fl owering for last year’s cooler, wetter weather produced so you can try out and your three piece our super service. suite freshened up on several months. The TV gardener Sarah Raven whopping plants that fl owered until October – the same day for just says that her 1m x 1m patch can produce 2 not bad for freebies! £170.00 buckets of fl owers a week from late June to call us now... October – that’s very good value from a couple We welcome your call and of packets of seed. It is possible to buy some 01892 784029 will take care of varieties of cosmos as bedding plants from a EXCEL CARPET CARE everything garden centre, but I avoid them as they tend to for you.. www.excelcarpetcare.co.uk be the compact types which just get lost in my borders! I have therefore always grown them from seed and have found the white cosmos “Purity” and the bright pink “Dazzler” to be the best. Not only are they prolifi c fl owerers, but they also produce lots of nectar and pollen making them attractive to bees and butterfl ies. Last year the cool wet summer meant that the cosmos put on a lot of growth and reached nearly 5 feet and while the fl owers didn’t appear until late August, they looked spectacular until late October and the fi rst frosts. As Sweet pea - Lord Nelson with all annuals, it is better if you can deadhead them, but I have noticed that they perform just as well if I don’t and towards the end of the season you can save the seed and try sowing it next year. Another annual that loved last year’s rains were the sweet peas that produced vases of fl owers for weeks. I go for fragrance over colour or size, so I prefer varieties such as the small bicolour “Matucana” or the dark purple “Lord Nelson”. It is important to keep cutting sweet peas so that Cosmos bipinnatus they carry on producing fl owers – once you start to see any pods, they

To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 11 10 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 11 Home&Garden Home&Garden Property: Character Properties – are they becoming hard to sell?

For a long time the perceived wisdom has been The present that character properties such as Georgian market townhouses and Victorian villas sell at a premium conditions to comparable size modern properties; in some of static or areas that premium is as much as 20%. Looking even falling at the current market, in my area at least, this still house seems to be true but what I’m also noticing is prices that character properties are taking longer to sell. actually favour those who are looking to upsize; In one town which has a fair proportion of 18th yes, they get less money for the house they are and 19th Century properties, out of 6 houses selling but they save proportionately more on the that have been on the market for more than 6 house they are buying. But character properties months, 5 of them are character properties. are often bought by retirees or families where the children are about to leave home to go to I have a theory about this. Character homes university. Effectively, these people are often have a lot to offer such as period charm, well- downsizing and they have a strong incentive to proportioned rooms and often a good deal sit tight and wait for the market to improve. This of interior space. What they tend to lack are is why character properties are proving slow to modern amenities such as garages, utility rooms sell at the moment. and the plethora of bathrooms that everyone takes for granted these days. They are also If you are trying to sell a period home and it is badly insulated, expensive to heat and require proving heavy going, my advice is to be patient; a lot of upkeep and maintenance. For all these the right buyer will come along eventually. reasons, for a period home may well not be the best option for a family or a first time buyer. Craig Brown

To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 13 12 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 13 Local Local Horsmonden Primary School Summer Fete Saturday 22nd June 2013, 12pm to 4pm

Bloco Fogo – the amazing Samba drumming group will take the lead at Horsmonden Primary School summer fete, with the children parading from the village green to the school to open the fete, which this year takes a theme of “Around the World”. As well as a wide variety of stalls for all ages, from bouncy castle for the little ones to BBQ and Beer tent for the older ones, there is a busy arena programme including Maypole dancing, gymnastics and Bloco Fogo. There is also a silent auction with lots including Come and join us for a great afternoon – visit to a horse racing yard and tickets to entrance is free. Newbury race course, paintballing for 10 people, Assembly Hall tickets and hydrotherapy session at Kalmora Spa plus many more.

Health & Fitness Classes All Abilities and All Ages Call Charlotte Fairs 01892 725319 M: 07887 868438 | E: [email protected] Boogie-Fit KETTLECISE It’s Fun. Powerful and “The Full Works!!” Very E­ ective! Great Music to Inspire You!! Proven to change your body shape in weeks!! Fun, Easy Routines!! Just Burn Wednesday Evenings - 8.15PM - 9.00PM Monday Nights - 8.30m-9.30pm Putlands Sports Centre - Paddock Wood or Matfi eld Village Hall Thursday Evenings - 7.30PM - 8.15PM Tuesday Nights - 8.15pm – 9.15pm At Brenchley Memorial Hall Paddock Wood – St Andrews SPACES ARE LIMITED

To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 15 14 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 15 Local Local New Athletic training track at Putlands Brenchley & Matfi eld Bowls Club

Would you like to make new Paddock Wood Athletic Club is pleased to is in excess of £300,000 announce that work has fi nally started on the friends and take up a gentle new all weather training track at the Putlands The Athletic Club have now agreed the terms of sport where men and women Sports and Leisure Centre. Planning Permission the lease with the Town Council and the lease play on equal terms. If so why was granted for the track at Putlands and this was signed on Monday the 8th April 2013. not come and see what our club has to offer. The Club is approval is valid for three years from August A local construction company AMB Sports, a 2010. set in idyllic countryside behind member of SAPCO, started work on Monday Brenchley Memorial Hall and Planning Permission to construct a temporary 22nd April 2013 and the Mayor of Tunbridge Social Club. access to Putlands on Maidstone Road for the Wells, John Smith, visited the site on Tuesday duration of the construction period, approx. 16 30th April 2013 to see the progress of the Throughout the season we hold weeks was granted and this has already been project. club events and play some 60 constructed. friendly matches against other We have made signifi cant progress in this project clubs in the beautiful countryside The Drainage & Groundwork Partnership and hope that when the training track has been of Kent and Sussex. We also designed the drainage for the track and this completed it will be used successfully by both hold social events to which all scheme was approved by Tunbridge Wells the Athletic Club and the local schools. are welcome. Borough Council and the Planning Condition Mike Ridger was fulfi lled. Why not contact us and come along and see However the what we have to offer. Our friendly members will Town Council, at be happy show you round and they will also be the request of eager to help you try your hand. Everything local residents, will be provided. You don’t need any have appointed previous experience and it’s easier independent than you think. If you’re new to the drainage area and have played before, consultants to please come and meet us for a review drainage chat over a cup of coffee. for the whole of The outdoor season runs Putlands fi eld. from the end of April to The engineer the end of September. requested We also enjoy a winter a soils season playing short investigation mat bowls indoors in and soakage Matfi eld Village Hall. test and has designed a Help keep our Village new scheme communities alive and for the enjoy yourself whist Putlands fi eld keeping fi t. and we have been asked to incorporate For further details or if this new you’d like to come and scheme. see us please contact: Beverley Holmans – The total 01892 722317 cost of constructing or email - the track by Beverley.matfi [email protected] AMB Sports or email – [email protected]

16 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 17 Local Local

Play Badminton in Paddock Wood Adams & Finch Chimney Sweeps As another season draws to an end for AIT enthusiastic ladies of a variety of standards, Your local independent family run Badminton club we look back on our teams’ ranging from those who maybe have not been business for over 30 years successes and otherwise in the Tunbridge playing for long to those who can show us all a • Fast, clean, reliable Wells Badminton League. We thing or two ! & friendly service have been members • Fully insured for many years and Our facilities are good and we pride ourselves on being a friendly, sociable club with well attended • Certificates for fi eld a number of insurance given mens, ladies and club nights. We are also pretty competitive at all mixed teams. levels. • All types of flues swept & vacuumed Unfortunately In Summer we run a weekly, Thursday • Nests removed though, like many evening club (8pm - 10pm) at Mascalls sports clubs these school in Paddock Wood where we • Liners, bird guards & all days, we suffer from have 4 courts. Why not come along types of cowls supplied & fitted a shortage of and give us a try, see what you think • Chimney pots supplied & fitted lady players. and if you like what you see maybe • Weddings attended We urgently you can join us next season for our need Winter club. Please call some More details can be had from Oliver 01892 784537 • 07738 910962 Barford on 07843 632559 or check out Quoting reference TCTW our website : http://www.aitbc.co.uk/ Member of IACS We shall look forward to meeting you (Independent Affiliation of Chimney Sweeps)

und the corn aro er ... Putlands Sports and Leisure Centre Open Weekend 28-29 June 2013 Gym and studio classes LOCAL, NATIONAL, INTERNATIONAL LOOkinG & COMMERCIAL REMOVALS . ..ar ld fOR Gym ound the wor membeRSHiP? Indoor & outdoor sports CONTAINER Our facilities include Gym, Sauna, Sports Hall, STORAGE, • FREE GYM ACCESS Racquet Courts & Studio • FREE ACTIVITIES SHIPPING & • COMPETITIONS Sign up online to secure your place: • MEMBERSHIP TOURS FINE ART CARRIERS www.fusion-lifestyle.com/giveitago-twells and CONSULTATIONS • SPECIAL OFFERS & Mascalls Court Road, Paddock Wood, Kent, TN12 6NZ NO CONTRACT MEMBERSHIP 01892 838290 www.tunbridgewells-leisure.com 01732 358900 www.bearsbyremovals.co.uk

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To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 19 18 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 19 Local It’s All Aboard For The Lamberhurst Launch! MASSIVE SAVINGS

A Heritage Lottery Funded on ELECTRICAL! project for Lamberhurst Common is celebrating its We are your One-Stop-Store for ALL Your culmination.

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Health&Wellbeing around body openings such as the eyes, nostrils, Health: Vitiligo mouth and genitals. It can also be seen in body folds, around pigmented moles or damaged skin. The hairs growing out of a patch of vitiligo may Vitiligo is a common condition affecting 1% keep their normal colour or may turn white too of people in which areas of the skin lose their so, if the scalp is affected, it may prematurely normal pigment and, therefore, become white. grey the hair. Vitiligo can begin at any age, It is painless and not contagious; it affects men but half of sufferers are affected by the age of and women of all races equally, but is more 20. Progression is usually slow; the patches Line and wrinkle reduction procedures evident in dark skinned people. Around 20% of gradually change their shape and size, but people with vitiligo have a family member with with periods of stability which may last several available at The Wells Suite the disease but the children of sufferers will not years. Sufferers may become embarrassed or necessarily inherit it. There is currently no known depressed by the condition. dietary cause. Very occasionally, some pigment will return to Skin gets its normal colour from a pigment the affected patches, but rarely completely. called melanin which is made by melanocyte Some treatments may slow progress but cells. Although the cause of vitiligo is not yet there is currently no known cure. Prescribed fully understood, it is thought than in vitiligo corticosteroid creams may slow the spread sufferers the body makes antibodies to its own in some cases when used under medical melanocytes and thus destroys them, so the skin supervision. Protopic cream is unlicensed for is then unable to make melanin properly. After vitiligo but may be prescribed by some GPs. diagnosis, some doctors may check for thyroid PUVA treatment, carried out at a hospital, may disease and for other autoimmune conditions help re-pigment the affected areas but this may that are more common than usual in people with not be permanent. vitiligo. For further details visit www.vitiligosociety.co.uk or www.britishskinfoundation.co.uk Vitiligo commonly affects the most exposed areas such as hands and face and is also seen Phoebe Hodge

GET FIT FOR SUMMER!

P O D I A T R Y       Clinics in Paddock Wood and Tonbridge BRAND NEW IN PADDOCK WOOD Routine foot care | Sports Therapy 6-week Beginners Course Computerised and video analysis Starting Mon 6 May - Only £36.00 Orthotics and insoles Footwear advice and prescription | Nail surgery Meet in Commercial Road car park, 7.30pm Whether from environmental damage, such as smoking or sun, or just a natural Tim Veysey-Smith | Podiatrist side-effect of ageing, our faces are prone to showing lines and wrinkles. MSc. Sports Therapy. Dip. Biomechanics. MChS www.mmlj.co.uk Registered with the Health Professions Council Meopham and Malling Ladies Joggers There are many ways to treat lines and wrinkles. To establish which treatment Paddock Wood Chiropractic Clinic MMLJ@ladiesjogge is right for you, The Wells Suite now offers regular clinics with Consultant Commercial Road, Paddock Wood, Tel: 01892 834422 Our members are women JUST LIKE YOU, who Plastic Surgeon Mr Brent Tanner MA (Cantab) FRCS every Thursday evening. want to get fit, feel great and have fun too! The Tonbridge Clinic, 339 Shipbourne Road, Tonbridge To book on this course, email: For a free, no obligation consultation, please call 01892 635888. Tel: 01732 350255 [email protected] [email protected] or call 07955 767 322 For further information on our line and wrinkle reduction treatments, 22 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 please visit www.thewellssuite.co.uk Health&Wellbeing Homeopathy SPECIAL HEARING WEEK

Wheezing & Sneezing can cost less that £10 per year. Visit Owen Hearing for Special Hearing O ers Hayfever keeps more than 500,000 children Common known triggers, off school at the height of the season and, not and remedies, supplied by at their Crowborough store surprisingly, affects exam results. It accounts for homeopathic practitioners and pharmacies: a signifi cant amount of all GP visits and millions 1. Tree pollen - late March to mid-May. FREE Your Hearing Aid cleaned and checked on the NHS drugs bill. 2. Grass pollen - mid-May to July. A condition that was virtually unknown before 3. Weed pollen - end of June to September FREE No obligation Hearing Tests 1800, hayfever has increased signifi cantly during the last 100 years and there are now some Distress is best avoided. It makes infl ammatory FREE Demonstration of Digital Hearing Aids 12million people who experience itching eyes, symptoms worse and will certainly affect streaming noses and violent sneezing. Nearly digestion and from there the whole balance of 36% of young people are affected and the fi gure health. e are offering Special Hearing Offers for SPECIAL HEARING OFFERS in the wider population is estimated at between Sleep is essential. Prolonged deprivation leads those with hearing related concerns to seek 15 and 25 %. to generalised infl ammation and swelling Digital Hearing Aids friendly advice. An Owen Hearing leading HALF PRICE ! Conventional treatment includes drugs to Water is vital for all cells tissues and organs. W Owen Hearing have reserved 100 digital hearing aids suppress the immune system which block the They need a constant supply. Do you take in hearing care professional will be on hand to offer type “Moxi 12”, To be sold especially for pensioners effect of histamine. enough fl uid particularly in warm weather? sound advice, as well as special demonstrations on the Immediate improvement for hearing more clearly Homeopathic remedies can provide treatment Coffee, tea and alcohol don’t count for much by Simple to use with easy volume control for short term help in a similar way, as long the way. latest technology and the new Soundlens range FREE demonstration the specifi c source of sensitivity is known. Animals suffer from this too! There are especially developed to help in background noise. Otherwise consultation with a practitioner and homeopathic Vets who can help or your own Vet Experience clearer hearing and free hearing tests, constitutional treatment increases the chance of can refer you HearFast low cost getting rid of it for good. Homeopathic treatment, Sarah Hamilton MA BA LCH MHMA Registered all at our local store or, alternatively in the comfort of by comparison, is not very expensive. Remedies Homeopath | 01892 835883 your own home. Owen Hearing are pleased to offer Hearing Ampli er £4.99 HearFast has fully adjustable volume control. you this enhanced level of hearing care. If, following a Four sizes of ear tips to fit the smallest or comprehensive hearing assessment, a hearing loss is largest ear canal. Hardly seen placed in the ear. Complete with batteries and 12 months discovered, you will be offered the opportunity to guarantee. actually see, try and hear for yourself, the very latest * in hearing aid technology. Your digital hearing aid will Batteries Offer Only be fully programmed and configured to your £1.00 individual hearing needs, using your test results. per pack of Everyone’s hearing circumstances are different; your six cells hearing problems are unique to you, so if you would LEAFLET like to hear more clearly feel free to get in touch with us to arrange a free appointment without obligation. Half Price Tri-Walkers!

OFFER Crowborough 5000 printed Only A5 Full colour Croft Road, Crowborough, £150 East Sussex, TN6 1DL £45 Delivery £30 + vat /1000 Town Crier FREE Tel. 01892 654 397 Hearing Test Appointments available daily. 01892 531207 Call in or phone ahead. Home appointments also available Tel. 01892 654 397 (Please bring this ad with you - Code: SHCCTC10613) 24 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 FemaleLeisure Musings of a Mediocre Mother

‘Go on you Reds!’ ‘Oh when the Wells, Oh when the Wells, Oh when the Wells go marching in!’ and best of all, ‘Oh Tunbridge Wells, Oh Tunbridge Wells, Oh Tunbridge Wells is wonderful…’ How middle class? I know they’re not exactly the most inspired football chants, but never have words been sung with such gusto and feeling than at the FA Vase Cup Final at Wembley on Saturday 4th May. It seemed that the whole of Tunbridge Wells had turned out, (if you weren’t one of them, why not?), to support a side of unsalaried players. It’s the was a noticeable police presence, probably wary fi rst time an unpaid side has reached the fi nal because the crowd size was double what had apparently and the fi rst time Tunbridge Wells had been expected, but they needn’t have worried, played at Wembley in its 125 year history. They because we are after all from Tunbridge Wells… were facing a team who had been amongst the I mentioned above that my older boy was on favourites since the beginning. Sadly as we all rugby tour. They went to France and played a know, they were defeated on the day but they lot of rugby (the boys), and drank a lot of beer put everything into it and I for one was left with (the dads) and even managed to get in a bit of an immense sense of pride for the town where history by visiting Vimy Ridge, a World War 1 I live. battle site. (Hopefully that justifi es the day off Ordinarily of course I wouldn’t be found at school they all had – approved of course!). The Wembley but with husband and oldest son point is that in the entire season, not once was away on rugby tour, I decided to attend with my it necessary to call an ambulance for any of our younger boy. It was a great opportunity to go players. A few games in France and 3 of the to Wembley without breaking the bank. It also Tunbridge Wells players get carted off to hospital VISION made me realise how diverse Tunbridge Wells is with a dislocated shoulder, a twisted knee and as a town. We have been forever saddled with concussion. You draw your own conclusions. MAKE A STATEMENT the ‘disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ moniker, and ------WITH CONTEMPORARY WINDOW STYLING indeed a few fans had adjusted this to suit on banners that I saw. It’s also considered to be Finally, I did miss Mr Mediocre Mother when he the epitome of middle class but it seemed as if was away, but it was tempered slightly by the Partially Open | Opaque - Opaque Closed | Translucent - Opaque Closed | Opaque - Opaque people from all walks of life were rubbing along fact that shortly before he went, he was helping nicely together at the game. me fold some washing, actually the anecdote should stop there as this is a story in itself, but As is probably to be expected, I saw a lot of beer it goes on. He laid a pair of my knickers over his being drunk but I didn’t see this spill over into pants and pointed out with some glee that mine any trouble. And although a lad sitting in front of were bigger than his. I think it’s fair to say that us used a few choice words, he was rewarded he won’t be seeing my knickers again for some with a cuff and a shhhh from his mate because time! of all the kids present. ® MM NEW LOUVOLITE VISION WINDOW BLINDS Walking back to the tube in a sea of red, there Penumbra Blinds and Solar Control Ltd Unit 2 Albans Farm, Romford Road, Pembury, Kent TN2 4BB. 26 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 Tel : 01892 825522 Leisure Horses Mouth – Lady Ophelia d’Knight answers your questions

At Town Crier, we occasionally get love and one that you can rest assured will letters from readers seeking advice remain unrequited, it will eventually fade to be on all manner of personal replaced, I’m sure, by another. situations. They could be questions of etiquette, social As for you, however, I think you should think faux-pas or family matters. about how much time she’s allowed to spend on We are always happy to the internet. Remember, you’re in charge. help and so we have enlisted Lady d’Knight the help of a local stalwart who in her own words has seen it all and Dear Lady d’Knight calls a spade a gardener. Lady Ophelia d’Knight, My husband and I have been married for 5 years (Offa to her friends, but we’re allowed to call her and I am now 35, the age at which according to lady d’Knight), will be happy to answer any of both sets of parents, my biological clock should your queries in future issues. be counting down to having a baby. Neither my husband nor I particularly want kids and have Dear Lady d’Knight tried to say as much but our words have fallen My daughter is completely besotted by the boy on deaf ears. How can we make our relatives band One Direction, and in particular Harry understand our decision? Styles. There’s not an inch of her bedroom walls left uncovered by pictures of him and CF she spends hours on the internet looking for snippets of news and pictures. I spent a fortune Dear CF on tickets to see them at the O2 hoping that it I think you are both wise and unselfish. It is a might make things better but I can hardly get her brave couple who say they like their lives as they to talk to me let alone do her homework. Do you are and perhaps in doing so, acknowledge that have any advice for me? they wouldn’t be the best parents. Although a mother myself who has had countless moments WM of joy watching my children playing with the nanny, I can see the reasons for not having them Dear WM which perhaps you should point out to your I remember it was the same in my day. My relatives:- friends and I were all in love with Liberace; the showmanship, his musical talent, the costumes 1) They’re expensive and his beautiful bouffant hair. I thought I would 2) They’re killing the planet, overpopulation die if I never met him. Of course I didn’t, I just drains the natural resources grew out of it. We now know of course that even if I had, he would not have been interested in me 3) They’re time consuming, finding the right but rather my male friends. I still find it hard to nanny can take days believe that he was gay. We just thought he took 4) They can be a strain on a relationship, I don’t a lot of pride and interest in his appearance, need any help in that department much like the pop stars of today who are buffed, waxed and coiffed to within an inch of their lives, 5) And actually you don’t want them but nobody questions it. Your parents will have to come around to Every generation has their pop stars who break the idea; you are not there just to provide hearts. Just be pleased that she’s not mooning grandchildren after all. about over a ‘real’ boy, one that she could get her hands on and vice versa. This is an innocent Lady Offa d’Knight

28 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 Leisure Leisure Lambs Kidney & Bacon on Toasted Recipe Sour Dough with mustard cream

Serves 4 sunfl ower oil to the pan, 4 lambs Kidneys, 4 spring onions then add the sliced and deveined 1 small loaf of sour kidneys and 2 slices smoked back dough bread the bacon bacon, cut into strips 100ml double cream strips and 50g butter 100ml reduced cook until well coloured (this 4 eggs chicken stock should take about 1 minute on each side) then add the spring onion, butter, jus, double cream & 50ml white wine 1 tablespoon English mustard. Once this has all come to the boil, cook vinegar mustard for just 2 minutes, then remove from the heat Poaching the eggs in advance and allow to cool for 5 minutes. You are in effect Have a bowl full of ice water on the side ready. resting the meat, but the juices will run out into Add the 100ml of white wine vinegar to 500ml the sauce so that when you reheat the kidneys water and bring to a rapid boil. Drop the eggs in they will suck up the pan juices. Now toast 4 one at a time, turn the water down to a simmer slices of sour dough bread, reheat the eggs for 2 and leave to cook for 3 minutes. Now fi sh the minutes in boiling water and check the kidneys eggs out and plunge into the iced water and for heat; they may just need to be brought back allow to cool for at least 10 minutes. Remove to a simmer. Finally put the kidney and bacon from the water and set aside. mix on the toast, top with the poached egg and serve. The rest of the dish Heat a heavy bottomed frying pan until very Danny Jimminson hot. Add about 3 tablespoons of vegetable or Restaurateur

“Oh Dear Grandma. I think you’ve overdone the botox” To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 31 30 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 31 Leisure Film Review Tonbridge Adult Education Trance (15) hinted at in retrospect. Centre, Avebury Avenue TN9 1TG Director: Danny Boyle McAvoy pulls off a performance that feels like During an art auction heist, inside-man Simon it’s been dragged through (James McAvoy) is hit on the head, erasing the mud – no insult – there Unleash The Artist In You his memory of the day’s events. After brain are few film ‘stars’ that surgery and months of rehabilitation, he is can really imbue believably released from hospital only to be kidnapped by negative traits into the characters they create. Jewellery & Silversmithing his co-conspirators. After discovering he can’t Dawson is also fine, doing as much as she remember where he hid the painting, they turn to can with a role that forces her to subdue her Summer School hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson) in an reactions to the chaos unfolding around her. It is 8th July, 10:00-16:00, 2 Weeks, £60, TON/00992/A/LC attempt to unlock his memories. Vincent Cassel however, as gang leader Franck that really steals the show. He is ice cold, cool This course covers designing and constructing jewellery along with When reviewing the basic narrative thread and collected, but utterly human in a role that relevant skills and techniques. of Trance – a psychological heist film – one expands far beyond what is normally required comparison comes to mind ahead of any other. from such a seemingly minor part. However, where Inception (2011) introduced the Mosaics rules of its universe slowly, methodically guiding There are a few bum notes, a couple of musical 8th-9th July, 10:00-16:00, 2 Days £50, TON/05104/A/LC its audience through its levels of complexity, interludes that jar with the tone of the overall Trance throws the watcher in at the deep-end film, and the climax is overly melodramatic, Mosaic is the art of creating images using small pieces of coloured and provides no relief until the game is almost mitigating what could have been a poignant and glass, stone, or other materials. up. To say that Trance has a twist in the tale powerful ending rather than just a satisfactory would be doing the complexity of the events one. However, Trance is smart and capable, and Precious Metal Clay that unfold a disservice. The film begins with a a solid advert for quality British film. simple plot and objective before spiralling out at 22nd June, 10:00-16:00, 1 Day, £35, TON/00993/A/LC James Warren | My Rating **** exponential speed into truths the opening merely Creation of pendants, charms and earrings using this fascinating and amazing precious metal material which magically, when fired, Book Review turns it into fine Silver! Art & Craft Exhibition Hawthorn and Child by Keith Hawthorn himself, who can’t seem to stop crying Ridgway for no reason. 21st May, 13:00-14:00 Tonbridge Adult Education, Avebury Avenue This book is like the literary equivalent of a The story flits from character to character, all Salvador Dali painting; to the casual observer, casually observing and taking an interest in the it just doesn’t make any sense. For a start, it stories of the others, showing us that we all doesn’t fall into the usual plot of a detective may as well be characters in someone else’s These are just a few of the courses we offer. Please novel, never focusing on any protagonist for story – we try to find patterns or links between visit our website www.kentadulteducation.co.uk too long or following the investigation through everything that happens where there aren’t any for more information. to the tumultuous unveiling of some wild eyed, to be found in the first place. The combination of mustachioed, cackling villain. If you want that a narrative that only occasionally makes sense sort of book, you’re best off reading a Marple. and Ridgway’s imaginative writing makes this book one you won’t easily forget. The main characters, if they can be called that, Bring this voucher to your local centre and receive 10% off tuition fees on the courses above. Valid until end of July 2013. are two London detectives on the case of a It takes a while to figure out the book has no This voucher can only be used once. Terms and conditions apply and cannot be used in conjunction with any other discount. shooting, the victim claiming to have been shot plot; where the detectives try to see patterns in by someone in a vintage car. an investigation there are none and the case… Throughout the course of the novel we meet well I’ll leave that out. It is not very often that you a cast of characters who may or may not be find a book trying not to be a book, let alone one linked to the investigation, but always with their so cryptically and brilliantly written - Ridgway’s BE INSPIRED - Unleash The Artist In You own story. There’s the art loving daughter of style is at once beautifully strange and strangely the Chief Inspector with a whole chapter all to beautiful, making it one hell of a read for anyone herself, the unnamed driver of the local dodgy who dares to try. Get creative with us! For more information, visit dealer secretly informing the two detectives, and Grace Ray www.kentadulteducation.co.uk, call 0845 606 5606 or ask a member of staff. To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 32 KAE/TCTON/06/13 Leisure Leisure Suduko competition

Medium Sudoku Smart To enter, just complete the PAGE Sudoku, fi ll in your details below and send in the entry 5 8 6 form to Town Crier at 3 4 8 5 Broadwater Rise, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN2 5UE. 7 2 9 6 Entries in by 12th June 2013. 8 6 7 9 Good luck! 9 1 LEAFLET May Winner: Sue Wilson, Rochdale Rd, How to play Tunbridge Wells Kent 6 2 3 5 Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the Wins a £20 Waterstones book token. 5 9 2 8 digits 1 through to 9, with no repetition! OFFER Winner picked at random from correct entries. That’s all there is to it. You solve the 5000 printed 8 6 7 puzzle with reasoning and logic - there’s no maths involved and no adding up. A5 Full colour Name………………………………………… 3 1 9 It’s fun! It’s Challenging! It’s addictive! £150 Telephone……………………………………. Delivery £30 + vat /1000

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To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 35 34 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 35 Leisure Leisure trees. The men doing this job had to fi nd old pushed along to two men stacking them fi fteen Local History: An extract from Roger clothes and hats. There were no health & safety high. Most stores were loaded like this before laws in the old days. When the tank was empty the days of the fork lift truck. Some ten thousand Ralph’s book “The Forgotten Years” the horse pulled the machine back to the stream boxes lifted by hand. where it was refi lled by three men using buckets. (Available from TMS Paddock Wood 01892 832952) Today you are not allowed to take water from a Out of season the old stores were fi lled with stream. Australian cheese as well as South African pears. Most farms locally would have had an orchard. “I hold it almost impossible for the English to live without apples!” The materials we used at the time were Arsenic The farmer’s wife would probably have grown the of Lead, Lime sulphur and Derris. Even in those odd codlin (small green elongated or unripe fruit) As we marvel The spraying machine was made up of a ninety old times some were organic. for early apple pies. at the beauty gallon tank on wheels mounted on an iron frame. Cattle were kept in the yards over the winter. Ever since the Romans brought sweet apples of apple Two pumps sat on either side of the tank to Farm Yard manure was used in large amounts to our shores the fruit has been held in great blossom at pump the spray out. A Lister engine drove the on the orchards. Other fertilisers used were affection here. I hold it almost impossible for the this time of pumps with a water hopper on top which was sulphate of ammonia, sulphate of potash and English to live without apples. year we see a always steaming. It was also used to warm cold bone meal. All these were spread by hand using Talking about apples and looking back to the very English hands! When starting up this engine we had to a Sussex trug strapped in front of each man. years of war. They were picked into bushel way of life. make sure the horse was well away. A handle They walked along throwing the fertiliser each baskets no grading, no packing they were sent Apples have was used which came off after starting. Once side of them walking from sack to sack. Each going it made a Pop! Pop! Pop! sound and the direct to the factories for processing. Other been here sack was two hundredweight. The farm also exhaust blew towards the back end of the horse. fruits went for jam making. There was no waste since the had two meadows and these were mown for On many occasions the horse ran away. On one in those uncertain times. After the war apples Romans but hay. Once more this job was done by the noble occasion the horse ran all the way home to the horse. One man worked with one horse. There were graded for size and packed in round in modern stable with the sprayer behind him. was one metal seat on the mower and the horse bushel baskets, in rings around the baskets. times the was guided by long reins. The machine cut the This job was done by local people who were trees are Either side of the machine were rubber hoses grass in the orchards leaving a strip between the apple packers. Most of these apples went to smaller, tree coiled with wire. At the end of the hose a nozzle the London markets to be sold. Bushel boxes was fi tted on a long lance. trees. This strip was later cut by hand. The sheep grease and whitewash are no did the mowing of the orchards in winter and began to appear on most farms after a few years. longer used and health and safety is probably spring. In modern times fertilisers are sprayed Less packing was involved and they went away responsible for spoiling the fun of picking from on the leaves of the fruit trees. Seaweed extract, as jumble packs with just one top paper. Most the top of a 30 stave ladder. magnesium and urea are used. It is likely that farmers found baskets took up too much space about half the fertiliser applied to the ground was as they were round. All boxes of apples were As Mr Charlie Willard of Paddock Wood recalls, washed out in the land drains. hand loaded but later during the sixties bulk bins “picking was better than going to the gym and took their place. All was done by machine then.” by the end of the season you had probably done The dark winter days were taken up clearing Roger Ralphs book “The Forgotten Years” is a marathon in exercise.” ditches, cutting hedgerows and pruning the old trees all by hand. Some of the large trees would available from TMS Paddock Wood 01892 One procedure often forgotten was lighting fi res take one and a half hours each. It could be 832952 under the trees at night to protect the blossom estimated at today’s prices that one acre of trees Thanks to Sarah Hamilton for supplying the copy against the early frosts would cost over a thousand pounds. As they were large trees thirty bushels of Bees and other fl ower visiting insects share apples would be picked from one tree the pollen between the trees and as we face for most years. When the apple picking changes to the climate and modern chemicals began most of the early apples went to this vital process might be threatened the London Markets from the orchards. Roger Ralph remembers: Late varieties were put into cold storage all in bushel boxes weighing “In my early years everything was done by hand fi fty pounds. This job was done after a manually. There was no machinery like there is days work in the orchards, sometimes today. Tree spraying (tree washing) is the name taking until ten o’clock at night. the workers gave it. Three men would do this Loading the old stores was a work of dirty job two spraying one loading the horse. It art. The bottom of the store was fi lled would take some ten days to get all the orchards These were held by a man walking under and with boxes of apples fi ve high. Planks sprayed. Horses were still working the land in my around the trees while spraying. Two hundred were laid over the boxes using roller early years. and fi fty gallons were sprayed onto one acre of conveyors. The full boxes would be

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Hondas have long been seen as the car of choice for old people; their legendary reliability, build quality and sensible practicality has always made them appealing to thrifty pensioners. But Honda has long had a strong association with motorsport and, if you hunt through the model PADDOCK WOOD range, you can fi nd some high performance PADDOCK WOOD gems. Here are four that should appeal to petrol heads everywhere. PADDOCKMOT SERVICE & REPAIRS WOOD LTD Honda Integra Type R DC5 (2001-2006) MOT SERVICE & REPAIRS LTD The Integra is a pert little coupé that is MOT SERVICE & REPAIRS LTD turned into a serious sports car by the Type R treatment. A body kit, 18 inch alloys and INTERIM SERVICE AVAILABLE FROM £81 hardcore Recaro seats make it look the part INTERIMUP SERVICE TO 1000cc AVAILABLEFULL SERVICE £122 FROM £81 while a 2.0 litre VTi engine kicking out 210bhp to match the best that Porsche could offer; the MOT £35 UP TO 1000cc FULL SERVICE £122 and seriously uprated suspension take care of handling was good enough to go racing and it INTERIM1001cc SERVICESET - 1399ccPRICE AVAILABLEFULL SERVICING SERVICE £148 FROM £81 the performance side of the equation. The high looked fantastic, yet it was as practical and easy 1001cc - 1399cc FULL SERVICE £148 revving engine emits a lovely howl as it hurls this to drive as a Ford Escort and had unbreakable 1400ccUP TO - 1000cc1799cc FULL SERVICE £122£169 pocket rocket to sixty in 6.2 seconds and on to reliability. The NSX stayed in production for 15 1001cc1400cc - 1399cc1799cc FULL SERVICE £148£169 148mph. Good examples are thin on the ground, years with only one minor facelift and a modest 1800cc - 2199cc FULL SERVICE £179 but I tracked down a pristine 2001 model with engine upgrade, testament to what a good car 1400cc1800cc - 1799cc2199cc FULL SERVICE £169£179 67k miles on it for a very reasonable £6,800. 2200cc & OVER, FULL SERVICE £205 it was from the outset. By supercar standards it 2200cc & OVER, FULL SERVICE £205 For: Pert styling, excellent handling, strong is an excellent second hand buy; you can pick 1800ccALL THE - ABOVE2199cc PRICES FULL SERVICEINCLUDE OIL £179 & performance up a 1999 model with 48,000 miles under its belt FILTER, AIR FILTERALL & THE STANDARD ABOVE PRICESSPARK PLUGSINCLUDE OR OIL DIESEL & FUEL FILTER for £22k. 2200cc & OVER, FULL SERVICE £205 Against: Not the most refi ned driving experience FILTER, AIR FILTER & STANDARD SPARK PLUGS OR DIESEL FUEL FILTER For: Supercar pedigree, looks, performance, ALL THE ABOVE PRICES INCLUDE OIL & Honda Civic Type R 2nd Generation (2001- build quality, value ALLFILTER, FORMS AIR FILTER OF& STANDARD MECHANICAL, SPARK PLUGS OR DIAGNOSTIC DIESEL FUEL FILTER & 2005) Against: Sudden oversteer can spell disaster ALL FORMS OF MECHANICAL, DIAGNOSTIC & Honda’s family hatch had always been worthy ELECTRICAL REPAIRS UNDERTAKEN but dull until the Type R came along and Honda Accord Euro R (2003-2007) ALL ELECTRICALFORMS OF MECHANICAL, REPAIRS UNDERTAKEN DIAGNOSTIC & changed all that. The 2nd generation Civic The Accord mid-size saloon has formed the was no great looker, even with Type R wheels backbone of Honda’s model range for 37 years. ELECTRICALBRAKE FLUID REPAIRS CHANGE UNDERTAKEN £61.20 and body kit, but it delivered sensational The 7th Generation is a sleek and stylish four BRAKE FLUID CHANGE £61.20 performance from the 2.0 litre 200bhp engine door saloon that exudes understated quality. RADIATOR DRAIN AND REFILL £46 and the handling was on a par with the very best Then Honda go and ruin all that by fi tting huge RADIATORBRAKE FLUID DRAIN CHANGE AND REFILL £61.20 £46 of the hot hatches. Better still, it was an absolute alloys, a lairy body kit, Recaro seats and a hoot to drive. The interior was also very spacious 220bhp engine. Paint the whole thing Diamond RADIATOR DRAIN AND REFILL £46 and almost as practical as a people carrier. This White and you have the ultimate boy racer COLLECTION AND DELIVERY BY ARRANGEMENT car has got to be the performance bargain of the machine. The engine revs till it screams, the COLLECTIONOPEN: MONDAY-FRIDAY AND DELIVERY 830am-6pm Saturday BY ARRANGEMENT 830am-1pm century; I found one on an 05 plate with 71,000 big tyres grip and grip and generally it feels like OPEN: MONDAY-FRIDAY 830am-6pm Saturday 830am-1pm miles on the clock for under 3 grand. something you would enter in the Touring Cars COLLECTION AND DELIVERY BY ARRANGEMENT For: Great fun to drive, value, practicality, Championship. The excellent handling comes OPEN: MONDAY-FRIDAY 830am-6pm Saturday 830am-1pm performance at the expense of the non-existent ride and motorway cruising is not recommended. The Against: Dull styling Euro R is a rare beast and that is refl ected in the 01892 838330 price; expect to pay £9,000 for a 2005 model Honda NSX (1990-2005) 01892 838330 with reasonable mileage. UNIT 8, ELDON WAY, TN12 6BE In the 1980s Honda decided they were going For: Intoxicating performance, track car handling, 01892UNIT 8, ELDON 838330 WAY to build a supercar and in 1990 it appeared in addictive engine noise UNIT 8, ELDON WAY the form of the mid engined, all aluminium NSX. (2 mINUTEs frOm rAILWAY sTATION) The 3.0 litre V6 provided enough performance Against: Hardly in the best possible taste. UNIT 8, ELDON WAY 40 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 Leisure Leisure Rant of the Month

SOMETHING FOR NOTHING !! your money!” I paid, said thank you very much and went out of the store, leaving her chuckling It’s so nice to know that people read my articles to herself. in the Town Crier as I sometimes get feedback, so thank you. Did that few words of politeness cost me anything? No, it did not! But it made her day!! I’m always happy to hear what you think so please do contact me if you have a comment. Please and thank you are very rare these days, as are courtesy and consideration. Holding Now, just read back over the last two sentences doors open, moving out of people’s way..... and drink in the words in bold. It may be some sorry, we’ve been down this road before - don’t time before you see or hear them again!!! mean to sound like a broken record. Politeness costs absolutely nothing and it isn’t Wouldn’t it be nice to walk around town seeing very often you can say you get something for people with happy faces, not an expression nothing these days. which looks like a slapped backside? To see someone smile at a stranger, not glower? To I was in a shop in town recently, standing (as we hear a cheery word, not the usual string of swear British do) in a queue and the chap in front of words? And even, dare I say it, mums and dads me marched up to the counter, unceremoniously being polite to their children, not yelling at them dumped his items and shoved a note at the across a store with “NO” being the only thing lady serving him. She rang the goods up, told you hear. him how much and gave him his change. He snatched the money, picked up his purchases Don’t scowl and tut at a small child which, in and left without one word being spoken. To say your eyes, appears to be throwing a wobbly. she was gobsmacked is an understatement and Have you thought that maybe there could be an she just stared after him in disbelief. underlying problem which is driving the mum No more expensive payment surcharges or dad to distraction, but isn’t actually tattooed I was also dumfounded so when I stepped up on the child’s forehead???? Just walk away if it to the counter, I smiled sweetly and said “Thank annoys you, don’t stand and stare. on credit and debit cards you so much for relieving me of my cash to pay When traders charge you for making a payment, for my goods”. Thank you for any consideration you can give whilst out and about and please remember the this is known as a ‘payment surcharge’. From She looked at me in amazement, then realised above..... 6 April 2013 the Consumer Rights (Payment I had noticed the chap before being so rude Surcharges) Regulations 2012 say that traders Joan Hamilton Smith as to not say please or thank you. So she said mustn’t charge you more than it costs them If you weren’t aware of a payment surcharge to process the payment. So if you pay using a “You’re very welcome. It’s my pleasure to take because it wasn’t included in the price when credit or debit card you can only be charged the you fi rst started buying something, this is amount it costs to process the card. This will also misleading under another consumer law apply if you pay for a fl ight, download software - Consumer Protection from Unfair Trading over the internet, join a gym, book concert Regulations (2008). tickets or buy other goods and services. Which? estimates that the cost of paying by It won’t apply to some kinds of contract – credit card is around 2% and less for a debit including paying for social housing, social and card. Check with your bank to fi nd out the actual health care, timeshares, food or drink deliveries cost if you think you have paid too much. or fi nancial services such as banking, insurance and personal pensions. And small businesses If you think you’ve been misled or charged too with less than ten employees and new much, you can contact the Paddock Wood businesses have until June 2014 to comply with Community Advice Centre at 64 Commercial the Regulations, as do all EU countries under a Road, Paddock Wood. Telephone 01892 European Union's Consumer Rights Directive. 838619. They can pass the complaint to Trading Standards and if you are charged too much The Regulations should ensure consumers are advise you on how to get a refund on what aware of the true costs of a service upfront. you’ve been overcharged. To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 43 42 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 43 Community What’s on in June 2013 Date What’s on Every Sunday Baptist Church – meet at Primary School - Richard Spicer Tel 836786 10.30am 1st Thursday Come and meet your care support worker and others – East Peckham Community (Sports) Hall – every month Tel Maria 01622 871831 11.30 – 1pm Every Tues PW Athletic Club Training Sessions – 8 years to 80 years. Contact Mr R Elliott 832093 and Thurs [email protected] 6.30 – 8pm Tuesdays Toddler Dance Classes - Mascalls School, Dance Studio - Price £2. Contact: [email protected] / 07921838670 4 – 4.30pm Wed 29th– 1st Tunbridge Wells Cricket Festival at The Nevill Ground – Kent v Leceistershire 11am start Sat 1st June Majesty – a new musical celebrating the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II 2nd June 1953 – Tonbridge Baptist Church 7.30pm Sun 2nd Tunbridge Wells Cricket Festival at The Nevill Ground – Kent v Northants 1.45pm Every Thurs (6th) Jazz on the Pantiles - Al fresco music on the Pantiles....please donate 7.30pm Thurs 6th PW WI - meetings held on the 1st Thurs of each month at St Andrews Church 2pm Frid 14th – Barbara Hepworth- The Hospital Drawings- at Mascalls Gallery, Paddock Wood. Closed Sun and 24th Aug Mon. Tues-Thurs 10-5 Fri-Sat 11-4 Frid 14th – 16th Special Rose Weekend at Pashley Manor Gardens 11 – 3pm Sat 15th June Majesty – a new musical celebrating the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II 2nd June 1953 – St Enjoy great times with the South East's Andrews Church, P/Wood 7.30pm Frid 21st Paloma Faith at Bedgebury Gates open 6pm friendliest steam railway in June Frid 21st Matchbox Opera takes Tosca on Tour – All Saints Brenchley in aid of Multiple Sclerosis Society. Call 01892 522672 [email protected] 7.30 for 8pm start Summer Evening Wine & Dine – Saturday 8th Wells West, the night includes two round trips to Sat 22nd – 23rd The Tunbridge Wells Town & Country Show – Dunorlan Park. All day entertainment including birds June 2013 Groombridge, a bar and some fi ne local musicians. A range of prey, food marquees. 10 – 5pm Enjoy canapés and a 3 course dinner with coffee whilst of cocktails, beautiful Wealden scenery, and music from Sat 22nd PW Choral Society Summer Concert ‘Fiesta de la Musica’ An Evening of Latin American rhythm, travelling through the Wealden countryside from Eridge local artists Sean De Burca and Kay Hazelden. What more folksong, swing, artwork..- St Andrews Church. Tickets £10, £2 for under 19’s on hopefully a gloriously balmy summers evening. could you ask for? [email protected] 01892 822448 7pm The menu includes vegetarian options, but if you have any 22nd & 23rd June Steaming Mon 27th PW Flower Club – Club Night ‘Glorious Green’ – Day Centre 833788 7 for 7.30pm further dietary requirements please advise us at time of through the 40’s Sat 29th Nigel Clayton in the Organ Room, Kent College, Pembury 7.15pm booking. Tickets for non-dining trains are available on the day at all One of the major events in our Sat 29th Penshurst Vintage Fair - Village Hall, Vintage homewares, china and glass, kitchenalia, clothing, calendar! Experience the 1940s Pop-Up Tea Rooms - www.akentishaffair.co.uk 10.30 – 4.30pm our stations in the old-fashioned way! on the Railway, Army vehicles and personnel, ‘40s cooking, St Andrew’s Church – What’s on Meet Timmy from Timmy dancing and a variety of linked attractions. Date What’s on Time - Sunday 9th June 2013 30th June, The High Weald Monday Little Pickles at Winter Hall 9.45 – 11.15am For the fi rst time, “Timmy” the Belle Dining Train Mon – Sat Fair Trade Shop - 10 – 12.30pm daily 2.30 – 4.30pm Mon, 2 – 4pm Tues to Thurs mischievous lamb from TV’s Timmy Board your train at 12:20 for Tuesday Pathfi nders – [email protected] 7.30 – 9pm Time will be visiting the Spa Valley Railway to meet his fans . departure from Eridge at 12.30. Tues and Wed Coffee Shop - Church foyer 10 – 12.00pm Your three-course roast chicken dinner will be served Tues, Wed, Thurs Mid-week morning prayer 9 – 9.30am Timmy will meet all the trains arriving from Tunbridge as the train makes a return trip through the beautiful Wells. Normal fares apply and the timetable for the day Wednesday New Gen –[email protected] 8 – 9.30pm Wealden countryside to Tunbridge Wells. will be published shortly. Friday Open House 10.30 – 12pm PLEASE NOTE; Due to Network Rail engineering work, ERIDGE A date for July First Wednesday Advice Surgery - (837617)/ [email protected] 10 – 12pm STATION IS CLOSED on this day, and no Spa Valley Trains will 13th July- Gilbert & Sullivan Day 2nd Thurs (13th ) Friends Together Bereavement Lunch Group 12.30 – 2pm serve Eridge. Trains run from Tunbridge Wells, High Rocks and Following the outstanding success Second Friday Family crafts – Winter Hall 3.15 – 4.30pm Groombridge stations. of last year’s event, we are delighted Every Sunday Holy Communion 8am to announce the 2nd Annual Gilbert 1st and 3rd Sun Holy Communion 10am 15th June, A Steamy Affair -The Spa Valley’s and Sullivan Day! Cocktail Train! 1st Sunday Cafe Church 6pm Come and enjoy all your favourite songs from the 2nd Sunday All Age Worship 10am The Spa Valley Railway is proud to announce its fi rst operettas of Gilbert and Sullivan with different groups Cocktail Evening 4th and 5th Sun Morning Service 10am singing at each of the stations and also on the trains Starting at 6pm for a 6.45pm departure from Tunbridge throughout the day. 3rd Sunday Messy Church 4.45pm

44 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 Tel: 01892 537715 | www.spavalleyrailway.co.uk Community Community Theatre Guides and Cinema Listings Fiesta De La Musica

Assembly Hall Theatre Crescent Road Sun 9th Aesop’s Fables 2.30pm SATURDAY, 22ND JUNE, 2013 Ticket offi ce - 01892 530613/01892 Sun 9th The Look Of Love 5pm/ 8pm 7.00PM 532072 Tue 11th Love Is All You Need 11/ 2pm | 8pm An evening of Latin American rhythms, Bes Fri 7th Counterfeit Stones Wed 12th BAFTA Shorts 2013 8pm folksong, swing, art work and much more! Thu 13th Kindly Leave The Stage 8pm Thu 13th Shaolin Warriors Wake up and smell the coffee! Fiesta is in Sat 15th That’ll Be The Day Fri 14th NT Live: The Audience 7pm town! Sat 15th Jo Christie Showcase 7pm Sun 16th RTW Choral Society Paddock Wood Choral Society’s summer Sun 16th Jo Christie Showcase 2.30pm concert entitled Fiesta de la Música brings Tue 18 – Thu 20th Dora the Explorer Sun 16th Me And You 8pm together the exciting rhythms of South Fri 21st Dirty/DC, plus Masam Tue 18th Promised Land 11am/2pm/8pm America in a cacophony of styles that shout Wed 19th Good Vibrations 8pm ‘Fiesta! Wed 26th We’ll Meet Again Thu 20th Falstaff 7pm Tonbridge Grammar School’s TGS Swing Fri 28th Buddy and the Killer Fri 21st The Hound Of The Baskervilles Band and Mascalls Samba Band get your Sat 29th Upbeat Beatles 7.30pm feet tapping; Brenchley & Matfi eld and Paddock Wood Primary School choirs melt Sat 22nd Breakfast At Trinity’s 10.30am Trinity Theatre - Church Road. Ticket your heart; and Brazilian Psalm by Jean offi ce – 01892 678678 Sat 22nd Local & Live Sessions 8pm Berger and Misa Criolla by Ariel Ramirez, Guide to Trinity Theatre listings Sun 23rd Kent Chorus 4pm sung by Paddock Wood Choral Society 1 with tenor soloist Pablo Strong, reach Tue 25th In The House 11/ 2pm | 8pm Sat 1st Oz: The Great And Powerful 2 / 7pm into and stir your soul. Pablo is a former Sun 2nd The Place Beyond The Pines Wed 26th The Servant 8pm Choral Scholar of St. John’s College 4/7.30pm Thu 27th Cinderella 7.30pm Cambridge, now studying at the Royal Tue 4th Ariadne Auf Naxos 7pm Fri 28th The Last Of The Red Hot Lovers Academy of Music. Spirits will soar as all 8pm join in the Grand Finale of El Condor Pasa, Wed 5th Shell 8pm a celebration of Andean folk music. Sat 29th Twelfth Night 7.30pm Thu 6th Caesar Must Die 11am/2pm/8pm Sun 30th The Tales Of Peter Rabbit And All this is set to a backdrop of Latin Fri 7th Teechers 8pm American art provided by local children and by Tickets priced £10 (£2 under 19) available from Benjamin Bunny 2.30pm Box Offi ce: 01892 822448. Sat 8th Breakfast At Trinity’s 10.30am a local art group : colour, sound and vibrant Sun 30th I’m So Excited 5pm/8pm Sat 8th Comedy Café 8pm energy. Come and enjoy all this on 22nd June at Email: [email protected] St Andrew’s Church Paddock Wood at 7pm. or from choir members

Coming soon to Cinemas in Tunbridge Wells Knights Way, Knights Park, Tunbridge Wells TN2 3VW - 0871 224 4007 Due date Film title Category Rating Paddock Wood U3A Friday 7th June After Earth Action, Adventure, 12A Science Fiction The next monthly meeting will be held at St Andrew’s Church Hall The Last Exorcism Horror 15 on Thursday June 13th at 2.00 pm. The Iceman Thriller, Drama 15 The talk will be given by Martin Lloyd and the title is The Company you keep Thriller 15 Passports, assassins, traitors and spies Friday 14th June Stuck in Love Drama 15 “ ” Friday 28th June Despicable Me 2 Family, Animated PG For information about the U3A and how to become a member This is the End Comedy 15 contact Fred Lemont on 01892 833413

To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 47 46 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 47 Business&Professional Business&Professional Opinion: Let’s get down to business May News Desk

There’s a lot of noise coming from the media borrows, 79% of it is generated by businesses, Paddock Wood Business Association about the recent changes to the welfare system. 63% is collected by them and 24% is actually These are portrayed as either a brutal attack on paid by them. You would think that the some of the most vulnerable people in society government would be very solicitous to the PWBA NEWS FLASH! Tunbridge Wells offer advice to potential buyers. Simon is also or some long overdue and wholly necessary people who own and run businesses but, as Borough Council has seven Paddock Wood helping the PWBA to form a ‘Community Vision’ reforms, depending on where the relevant part one of those people, I can tell you that they are Car Park Season Tickets for sale. for Paddock Wood to try and influence how the of the media stands on the political spectrum. not. Times are tough in business; the lack of Town takes shape over the next 20 years. There is also a lot of controversy about rich economic growth means it is hard to increase Annual ticket only £750 Please call for a free, no-obligation chat about people avoiding paying their fair share of your turnover and harder still to grow profitability. To apply go to – www2.tunbridgewells.gov.uk/ your development ideas. taxes. I could hold up Jimmy Carr as a shining All the big banks flatly refuse to lend money to Default.aspx?page=4936 example but he makes me laugh, which is what businesses, not because they don’t want to but 07842 945545 And click on BUY NOW… comedians are supposed to do, so I won’t. The because the rules they operate within dictate [email protected] www.sjmplanning.com current political battleground is real income that lending money to businesses is so risky as SJM Planning is the Simon McKay BSc MA (Town Planning) levels, which are continuing to fall and show no to be suicidal. Worse still, HMRC are becoming sole practice of Simon sign of stopping. Yet in among all of this, the only ever more diligent and aggressive when it comes McKay, Town Planner. It time businesses are mentioned is when some to collecting taxes from businesses. Hefty fines formed late in 2012, when American mega-corp is found to have avoided for late payments or late filing of returns have Simon left the employment paying any corporation tax in the last five years, been introduced across the board and HMRC of a local Borough Council or some banker pays himself a colossal bonus. now employs debt collection agencies to harass where he was a Planning I think it’s about time that someone stood up for businesses. Officer for just over 7 years. Personal experience of seeing the other point of view enables The Inprint Shop has been trading in businesses and I’m putting myself forward for Commercial Road Paddock Wood for 30 years! the job. I really can’t understand the government’s Simon to take a more considered and proactive approach. Surely if businesses were given more approach to negotiating with Local Planning But we’ve never stood still and are always Virtually all the revenue which the government support they would be able to do what they do Authorities. innovating. Just recently we have added a uses to pay for so many things (including best, grow their turnover and profits, generate new division called Checkmate, specialising in personalised goods from clothing to carrier welfare benefits) comes from taxes. Let’s more revenue for the government, create more In that time, Simon has amassed a great wealth of planning knowledge for a number of bags, key rings to cups and anything in look at these taxes in order of the amount of jobs and, ultimately, make the economy grow. applicants. His experience includes; between. Why not pop in or call Fiona to discuss revenue they generate. First up is income tax I think I know what the problem is; businesses your needs. We serve many national companies which accounts for 30% of the revenue pie. don’t vote. Although the next election is still • Agricultural applications and may surprise you with our competitive rates. Income tax is generated by businesses because two years away, all three main parties are busy • New dwellings / replacement dwellings It’s really important to continually promote your they create the jobs which pay the wages electioneering. Any policy that wins votes is a • Residential extensions company image. which are then taxed. Businesses also collect good policy and it is too easy to characterise • Commercial applications Through our TMS division, we have all modern income tax because they deduct it from your business owners as tax avoiding, employee • Advertisements wages and pass it on to the treasury. Next up exploiting rich people. In the words of the printing technologies in house, plus superb • Lawful use certificates / enforcement issues quality designers. We have been helping our is National Insurance which contributes 19% Stranglers, “Something Better Change!” • Planning Appeals, and third party clients with marketing advice and carry out of the total. NI is really income tax by another Howard Clemmow representations. mailings numbering in the millions for our many name so businesses both generate and collect and varied customers. it, but the big difference is that over 60% of NI His experience also includes aspects of Planning contributions are actually paid by businesses – Law as well as a specialism in Urban Design. We have won an international prizes for our effectively a tax on employing people. Then you innovative web sites design. We came 1st In recent months his enterprise has expanded in category and 3rd overall ion a competition have VAT, 17% of the total, which is generated to offer a complete package from inception to by businesses because they add it to everything between 30,000 sites. Our client won $25,000 completion, having acquired fantastic links with plus £50,000 google ads plus a trip to New York they sell and collected by them too. Fourth on local tradesmen who can offer very competitive the list is corporation tax at a mere 8% of the with $5000 spending money—so, we may be prices for building projects. Current development local but are world beaters!! total; generated by businesses and paid by projects include a £600,000 extension in businesses, it is a tax on making a profit. Of the Matfield and a £240,000 residential extension in What ever your market need, from a humble remaining quarter of the pie, 5% is accounted for Tonbridge. printed envelope to a multi point web site, from a by business rates which are both generated and poster to a pop up banner we can probably help SJM Planning has grown much to the help paid by businesses. you and hopefully of Carol Prier at Firefly properties where both If you look at the total amount of dosh the businesses have forged a strong relationship to Inspire you. More than just a copy shop! government has to spend, excluding what it enable an ‘in-house’ planning consultancy to

To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 48 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 49 Business&Professional

AT RETIREMENT? – pension, should you commute the lump sum or WHAT HAPPENS NOW? not? How is it calculated and is it good value, or is it best to defer taking the pension at all? When The overall number of people turning 65 in 2012 considering the right route to take, sometimes, leapt by 30% in a single year. According to the the decisions made at this point cannot be Offi ce for National Statistics there were 726,069 changed so they must be the right ones as there people aged 64 in England Wales in 2011 when might not be any going back. the last national headcount was carried out. Some or all of these dilemmas will face any That meant that more than 169,000 more people individual reaching retirement today with pension reached their 65th birthday last year than the savings. Taking a step back before committing year before. On from this, an average of 600,000 and seeking the appropriate professional advice people a year will reach age 65 between now could not only save money, more importantly, and 2018 and in UK there are now more people it could also save a great deal of distress and beyond the State Retirement age than there heartache. are children. In fact there are now more than 10 million people in the UK aged 65 or over. So what? Well, as the so called post war baby boomer generations are reaching their retirement, it means more and more people are being faced with many fi nancial choices. In 1951, a man aged 65 could expect to live to age 77, but this has now moved to 86 and in a lot of cases beyond so that hard saved retirement pot has to last even longer. Therefore when planning for what should be a comfortable retirement fi nancially that could span 25 years plus, it is imperative to know all the available options and the implications of those options and what would best suit the individual. So what are the appropriate choices? What is the right type of annuity? Conventional, fi xed term, temporary, enhanced, impaired life? Perhaps consideration should be given to capped or fl exible drawdown? If a company

Richard Moor is a Chartered Independent Financial Planner based near Tunbridge Wells providing expert and tailored fi nancial advice throughout Kent, Sussex and London. Our fi nancial planning service specialises in savings & investments, pre and post retirement advice, tax planning, as well as personal fi nancial protection, and mortgages. We aim to provide high quality, holistic fi nancial planning to all our clients which is completely independent and we will work with you to make sure we fi nd the right solutions for all your objectives

50 To Advertise call Joe or Joanna on 01892 531207 01732 373024 [email protected]