An Exploration of Second Generation High-Achieving British Bangladeshi Muslim Young Women Living in North-East London
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Navigating Histories: An Exploration of Second Generation High-Achieving British Bangladeshi Muslim Young Women Living in North-East London * Shamea Yasmin Mia * A thesis submitted for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Sociology Department, Goldsmiths College, University of London * October 2014 I declare that the work presented in this thesis is my own. (Shamea Y. Mia, October 2014) 2 Acknowledgements: I would like to thank many people for their continuous love, support, encouragement and good cheer throughout the process of writing and researching. I’d like to thank firstly my parents for their never-ending love, support and patience in so many, many countless ways. This thesis is dedicated to them. Goldsmiths’ Sociology department have provided unbelievable support throughout my years of studying, from my undergraduate years to Masters to PhD. I’d like to thank my fabulous supervisor Vic Seidler, who, from the beginning of it all, allowed me to discover my sense of self, who gave me a platform from which to speak and who taught me so much. David Oswell, towards the end became an important reminder of the value of this thesis. Both my supervisors I am deeply indebted to, without whose guidance and support, a task such as this would have been impossible. I wish to thank my many teachers at Goldsmiths’ who have always been an inspiration. Particular thanks goes to Brian Alleyne, Monica Greco, Nirmal Puwar, Les Back, Pam Odih, Vikki Bell and David Hirsh for being such spectacular guides. I am also grateful to Yasmin Gunaratnam and Michael Keith for their kindness, patience and support. Thank you to Violet Fearon and Bridget Ward who have provided much needed boosting. My friends and colleagues have always been supportive. Special thanks go to Elisa Fiaccadori for her constant encouragement and good cheer. I thank Jaray Singhakowinta, Alex Rhys-Taylor, Jennie Munday, Anamik Saha, Thomas Zacharias and Emma Jackson for their support, for reading early parts of my work and for their suggestions. Thank you to Dimitris Liokaftos, Hannah Jones, Louise Owusu- kwarteng, Michaela Benson, Stephen Jones, Sibille Merz, Miranda Iossifidis and Valentina Alvarez amongst many others, for their pearls of wisdom and encouragement. Very special thanks to the lovely Margarita Aragon for her patience with both my thesis and me and for editing the whole thing. She comes highly recommended! 3 I am indebted to Ania Korszun and Kamaldeep Bhui for allowing me to sit in on fourth year Psychiatry lectures at Queen Mary College, University of London. Particular thanks goes to consultant psychiatrist, Dr. Sandra Evans who took time out of her busy schedule so I could ask her my many questions. I would like to thank consultant psychiatrist Dr. Gurprit Pannu from the very important South Asian Health Foundation, Mental Health division who gave me his precious time to answer my numerous questions. I thank Bengali International for allowing me to attend their cultural events and help me find my Bengali sense of self. In particular, I’d like to thank Dr. Ali Asghar who provided me with advice and moral support. My friends and family have always encouraged me in more ways than they know. My family globally and particularly in Bangladesh have always supported me from afar in body but close by in mind and spirit, particularly my Boro Mama, Mohiuddin Ahmed, who has always believed in me. I’d also like to thank my cousin, Sheefat E Rabbi, for coming to my aid in times of technical difficulties. Finally, I’d like to thank the young women who shall remain anonymous, though not voiceless, and who gave me their time, trust, narratives and friendships and without whom this thesis would not have been possible. Thank you. 4 Abstract This thesis examines the lives of second generation high-achieving British Bangladeshi Muslim young women living in various parts of north-east London (within the M25). My respondents are educated to at least degree level and are in, or aspire to, middle class employment. This research explores their relationships with their families, and in particular their first generation parents. It also looks at school friendships, romantic relationships, issues of travel to Bangladesh and, finally, how religion shapes both the respondents’ sense of self and the ways in which they orient themselves in relation to their nuclear family. My respondents’ accounts are explored through in-depth narrative analysis in the empirical chapters. This research draws from literature examining migrational and postcolonial understandings of psychoanalysis, Bangladeshi communities, relationships between first generation migrant parents and their second generation daughters and intergenerational dialogue. It is qualitative in nature, employing grounded theoretical and ethnographic research methodologies. The data upon which the research is empirically based is drawn from semi-structured, in-depth interviews with twenty young women, which were carried out between 2006 and 2012. This study’s findings suggest that these young women are able to speak from various historical positionalities. By navigating through and between different cultural histories, this thesis argues, such young women have become or are in the process of becoming ‘hybrid’ in their complex and multi-layered identities. This research has the potential to contribute to the study of intergenerational ethnicities and diasporic identities, as well as enriching our understanding of how a sense of self is formed when respondents belong to a number of differing cultures. 5 Table of Contents PREFACE: RESEARCHING SECOND GENERATION BRITISH BANGLADESHI MUSLIM YOUNG WOMEN 8 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION – HAND HOLDINGS AND (IN)VISIBLE HISTORIES 10 THE INCIDENT OF THE TRAIN PLATFORM AND THE YOUNG WOMAN 13 THE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL ‘I’, THE POSSIBILITIES OF DIFFERING AND THE YOUNG WOMAN ON THE TRAIN PLATFORM 16 QUESTIONS OF FAMILIAL HISTORIES 17 QUESTIONS OF ‘CARRIED HISTORIES’ 18 CHAPTER OUTLINE 20 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW - GIFTS FROM OUR PARENTS 24 SPEAKING OF CHANGE AND SOUTH ASIAN (BANGLADESHI) WOMEN 24 SECOND GENERATION BRITISH BANGLADESHI YOUNG WOMEN CARRYING PSYCHOSOCIAL HISTORIES 31 BANGLADESHI DIASPORIC CARRIED HISTORIES 36 ALONG THE LINES OF ‘BANGLADESHI ADAPTABILITY’…? 42 THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS AND DIALOGUES WE MIGHT HAVE WITH OUR PARENTS AS EDUCATED SECOND GENERATION YOUNG WOMEN 49 BANGLADESHI CONTEXTS – CONCLUSION 56 CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY - FINDING VOICES 58 A GLIMPSE INTO LONDON’S BANGLADESHI DEMOGRAPHICS 59 ETHNOGRAPHIC FRAMINGS 60 RESEARCHING THE ‘COMMUNITY’ AND INTER-GENERATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS 61 FINDING PARTICIPANTS AND SNOWBALLING IN THE ‘COMMUNITY’ 65 QUESTIONS OF THE TOPIC GUIDE 69 PROCESSES OF INTERVIEWING AND COLLECTING NARRATIVES 70 THE MULTIPLICITY OF NARRATIVES 74 THE USES OF NARRATIVE ANALYSIS AND THEMATIC APPROACHES TO THE INTERVIEWS 75 SENSITIVITY, RESEARCH AND ITS ETHICAL IMPLICATIONS 78 THE AMBIVALENCE OF RESEARCH 82 A PLEASANT EVENING OF HORRORS – IDENTIFYING HISTORIES 84 METHODOLOGICAL EXPRESSIONS IN CONTEXT – CONCLUSION 87 CHAPTER 4: SPEAKING BANGLA WITH THE FIRST GENERATION? MOTHERS, FATHERS AND LANGUAGE 89 MOTHER’S ‘REALM’? 89 OF CARDAMOMS, COOKING AND CATS 95 A TALE OF THREE FATHERS 98 WHAT DOES ‘TRADITIONAL’ HISTORIES MEAN TO YOU? 107 INTERTWINING LANGUAGES AND THE EMERGENCE OF ‘BENGLISH’ 110 WE SPEAKERS OF THE BENGALI LANGUAGE? 113 THE CHANGE OF OUR GENERATION 116 VOICING GENERATIONS – CONCLUSION 118 CHAPTER 5: THE FRIENDS WE MADE IN SCHOOL AND SOME LATER 120 ‘BEING CAREFUL’ – MAKING FRIENDSHIPS WITH BOYS 121 HAVING NON-BENGALI FRIENDS FROM DIFFERENT CULTURAL HISTORIES 125 6 SHARING HISTORIES WITH BENGALI FRIENDS 130 OUR CHOICE OF FRIENDS? 133 PARENTS’ INFLUENCE IN CHOOSING THE FRIENDS WE CHOSE…? 136 COMFORTABLE FRIENDSHIPS, COMFORTABLE HISTORIES? – CONCLUSION 142 CHAPTER 6: DESIRES FOR A PARTNER? ON MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS 144 RE-VISITING THE YOUNG WOMAN ON THE TRAIN PLATFORM… 145 HISTORIES AND WHO I AM ATTRACTED TO 147 THOUGHTS OF THE (MAINLY FIRST GENERATION) COMMUNITY 151 ARRANGED MARRIAGE AND WHO DO YOU WANT TO MARRY…? 160 FUTURE CHILDREN OF THE SECOND GENERATION 167 NAVIGATED LOVE – CONCLUSION 170 CHAPTER 7: NAVIGATING TRAVELS - EXPERIENCES OF RELIGION AND CULTURE 172 SOME PRECONCEIVED EXPECTATIONS OF THE FIRST GENERATION 173 OUR EXPECTATIONS AS (WESTERN?) DAUGHTERS? 175 GEOGRAPHICAL CLOSENESS - OR NOT 178 ‘THE BEAUTY OF BOTH’ 185 ‘IF IT GETS TOO MUCH’ - HOW RELIGION CAN POTENTIALLY BE A FORM OF ESCAPISM AND THE POSSIBILITIES OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF RELIGION AND BENGALI CULTURE GET ‘MIXED UP’ 187 INTEGRATION AND SPEAKING INTO SOMETHING NEW? 197 CULTURAL HISTORICAL ASSOCIATIONS – CONCLUSION 199 CONCLUSION: NAVIGATING INTO THE FUTURE 201 NAVIGATING FURTHER – FUTURE PROJECTS 212 BIBLIOGRAPHY 215 7 Preface: RESEARCHING SECOND GENERATION BRITISH BANGLADESHI MUSLIM YOUNG WOMEN The idea for this project emerged over time, through conducting other similar projects at both undergraduate and Masters’ levels. It also emerged after a brief but revealing interaction I had with another young woman, which I will discuss further in the Introduction. My undergraduate project examined how second and third generation children belonging to an organisation called Bengali International understood their relationship to Bangladeshi culture whilst living and going to school in North East London. As such, it looked at who their friends were, which languages they spoke with friends of their parents and how they felt when they travelled to Bangladesh. The data for this study was gathered in the