nightspots #1085 • January 23, 2013 the world “everythin looks g’s coming up bright ros and shiny es” every Show Tune Monday. Open at 3pm •Monday Show Tunes 8pm-2am. /SidetrackBar 3349 N. Halsted SidetrackChicago.com That Guy by Kirk Williamson Tajma Hall and Teri Yaki had obviously taken their nasty- ass pills before the www.M4M411.com launch party at Jackhammer, because they were both at their inappropriatest. I know, I know, no mean feat for Teri, but even Taj was less than lady-like. All fitting for the occasion, I thought. Let’s all wish good luck to John and the whole team at www.M4M411.com. See my photos on page 13. I semi-stalked our very own music writer Marc “Moose” Moder this week, and who could blame me. Just two of his seemingly 4.6 billion gigs are the Old Skool House Party at Mary’s Attic (2nd Friday of each month) and Downtown Lights at Downtown Bar and Lounge (1st and 3rd Fridays). What about 4th Fridays, Moose? Ya gettin’ lazy? Lots of great events coming up. The opening of Flesh: Photographs by Justice Howard at the Leather Archives on Feb. 1 is not for the faint of heart, but I suspect the faint of heart don’t read my column. Scot’s annual “Slap My Ass and Call Me Sally” chili cook off takes place Super Bowl Sunday, so get your antacids ready. Touche sashes a new Mr. Chicago Leather this weekend, and roasts the old one. Windy City Times/Nightspots photographer Mel Ferrand marked her Correction: Last week’s photos of Spin were credited to birthday with a party at Marie’s Golden Jerry Nunn. They should have been credited to Anthony Cue, a billiards bar on Montrose. Photo Meade. Nightspots apologizes for the error. by Tracy Baim [email protected] MAIN COVER IMAGE Debbie Fox’s Friday- night shower contest at Spin nightspots Photo by Anthony #1085 • January 23, 2013 Meade PUBLISHER DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA Tracy Baim Jean Albright ASSISTANT PUBLISHER OFFICE Terri Klinsky Ripley Caine MANAGING EDITOR PHOTOGraphY Kirk Williamson Mel Ferrand, Kat Fitzgerald, Kirk, Kizzy, ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Anthony Meade, DJ Res-5 Terri Klinsky, Kirk Williamson, Amy Matheny, CAST OF CHARACTERS Christopher Cheuvront C.J., DJ Chester, Homer Marrs, AK Miller, Marc NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE “Moose”Moder, Randy Pubert, Steven Toushin Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 Copyright 2013 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Reprint by permission only. 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While we encourage readers to support the advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots/Windy City Times cannot accept responsibility for advertising claims. /nightspots @-OK. @MOSPHERE Photos by Anthony Meade Shirtless much? HYDRATE Photos by Anthony Meade 8 nightspots January 23, 2013 DANCiNg ABOUT ARCHiTECTURE by Marc “Moose” Moder NEw YEAR. TiME fOR NEw BEgiNNiNgS. Times changes, people change and as Exposé once said, seasons change. Depending on what era of music you’re in, a passé artist has a good chance to make a comeback. Back in the ‘90s it wasn’t uncommon to see oldies like Bonnie Raitt, Cher, Don Henley and Santana making huge comebacks and not only selling to the boomers, but to younger listeners as well; whereas in the ‘60s and the ‘00s to now, the singles charts are really run by artists under 30. Even someone like X-Tina is considered a bit long in the tooth to still be playing. Well, it’s time to change that. There are a lot of great artists who’ve given up, stopped trying to be innovative, or are just waiting in the wings for the tides to change. So I’ve rounded up a few of my fantasy comebacks for your consideration. Taylor Dayne: If only she can first admit she’s a top-knotch singer (and a second-rate actress), and second, if she can stop being such a B* (in Apt 23), she could really do well with a full on soul record. Don’t go the cheesy, stale Kristine W route of club tunes that died 10 years ago. See Lisa Stansfield who’s working on her first album in almost a decade and going fully back to hear slinky soul sound. Prince & Madonna: I do realize I raz on the Purple One and the Menopausal-Girl a bit much in this column, but if these two would put as much effort into their new original material as they do into their sold out live shows, they’d both be back at the top immediately. The followings are there, but neither one of them can write anymore and seem to just phone in new material in order to play something new at their shows. Both of you: Get some quality production and a few hip, young co-writers. You’re both teetering on the edge of becoming an oldies act for life. Rick Astley: You’d think the Rick-rolling phenomenon of a few years ago would have been the best platform for the “Never Gonna Give You Up” singer to work the proverbial room, but no. He put out one fantastic, but not well-promoted single, “Lights Out,” with no follow-up album. It’s a shame. His voice and quality of material is better than it’s ever been, and the man still looks 30 years old. Finally, George Michael: Whatever you’re still on, put it down, girl. Your last single, “White Light,” proclaiming you had made it out of the darkness, rang about as true as Whitney’s final album where she chanted about sobriety and redemption only to fall a few years later. We’re not buying it and the Cher-like autotune mangling of “White Light” covered the best thing about you, that silky smooth voice. Solution, get legit clean and get a real team behind you. Real instruments, real writers, maybe even Andrew Ridgeley, and stop making self- produced synth trash. You’re better than this, George. You’re all better than this. Now go prove it. We’ll be waiting, and buying. DJ Moose will be playing many of these artists at his new Old Skool House Party at Mary’s Attic on the second Saturday of each month. 10nightspots January 23, 2013 Yes, Oprah, I can finally admit to the use of lady love-making enhancing devices. Karaoke by Creagh TUES TUE WATCH FOR DATES WED Jackhammer Bistro After Dark 10pm-4am Cocktail Hideaway (773) 743-5772 9pm-1am (773) 525-2522 9:30pm-1:30am (773) 477-1420 (708) 488-9382 WED THU THU THU FRI Holiday Club Crew Four Farthings The Call Bobby Love’s 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 7pm-11:30pm 9:30pm-1:30am (773) 348-9600 (773) 784-CREW (773) 935-2060 (773) 334-2525 (773) 525-1200 FRI FRI SAT SAT Hideaway Halsted Harp Coppolino’s Four Farthings 10pm-2:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 10:30pm-2:30am 9:30pm-1:30am (708) 488-9382 (773) 348-3665 (773) 735-8647 (773) 935-2060 SAT SUN SAT SUN - NEW NIGHT! SEE YOU IN SPRING Christina’s Hideaway Bobby Love’s Spin The Sofo Tap 10pm-2am 9pm-1am 9pm-Midnight 10pm-2am 8pm-Midnight (773) 463-1768 (708) 488-9382 (773) 525-1200 (773) 327-7711 (773) 784-7636 and get ready for Jackhammer’s Mardi Gras Undie-oke, Tue., Feb. 12! Now contact us at 773-720-7347 or [email protected] Join Creaoke on Facebook www.CreaokeKaraoke.net Madonna worship. Big CHiCKS Photos by Kirk M4M411.com launch party with Taj, Teri and Amy! JACKHAMMER Photos by Kirk MARRS ATTACKS by Homer Marrs The Sarcasm Diet Oh my God, you guys! I found sarcastically replied “you first” this without you consciously the secret to happiness. I’m under her breath when she sensing it. It is very powerful. I gonna spoil the suspense right heard me tell our dog, Cosette, say my generation “suffers” for now and cut to the chase: it’s to “come out of the closet” in this misconception because cutting out sarcasm. Seriously, which she was hiding from a I think we are addicted to read on. thunderstorm. satire, which is not the same as sarcasm but often acts as a Recently it was suggested to Yes, we gave our dog a Les home for it, and it’s making us me that sarcasm was nothing Miz name twenty years before far more snide and pessimistic more than veiled anger, a it was cool. Trendsetters, we than we are aware. We look at concept I agreed with but Marrses. everything like we curate the hadn’t really ruminated over in Everything Is Terrible website.