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Spring Newsletter 2021 The Human Right To A Death With Dignity IN THIS ISSUE • Practical questions are met with silence Page 4 • ‘Will God be angry with me,’ Guide is asked 6 • Poll, survey ask about dementia, hastened death 8-9 • Canada goes where U.S. will not 11 • End-of-life doulas – a practical primer 12-13 • RTD news compendium 15 VOL 20 • NO 2 SPRING 2021 A FEN experience comes full circle She sat on a jury, told her family about it – 10 years later, her mother chose to exit By Shana Morales members and declared My name is Shana a “hung jury” on the Morales, and in 2011, I second defendant. was called to be a juror for It was traumatic a case regarding Final Exit for me as a juror, and Network in Phoenix. The I cannot imagine what trial lasted months, and at it was like for those the end, the jury room was directly involved. not a good place to be. During the trial, I Some of the jury told my family members felt very strongly about about Final Exit suicide, assisted or other- Network, and my mother wise, and were unable seemed to take a special to detach their personal interest – but she was beliefs from facts in front healthy, and I thought of them. I, while not a nothing of it. proponent of suicide by Fast forward to 2018 any means, viewed it more when “Papa Bob,” the as an issue of sharing love of my mother’s life, knowledge – then it “Papa Bob” and Shana’s mother, Marianne, surrounded started to decline due to becomes personal choice. by the Morales family (l-r): sisters Elena and Ashley, heart issues and COPD. In the end, we were son Joey, husband Joseph, and Shana. The photo was The last months of Bob’s taken in 2017 before Bob became seriously ill. able to acquit one FEN life were extremely defendant, and then it got really bad. A juror painful for both him and my mother, he in was seen crying in the hallway (that was me) obvious physical distress, and her having to after the judge heard loud yelling from several FULL CIRCLE continued on page 2 Renew your membership online: www.finalexitnetwork.org mother in it, and I am going to aspire to make it It is a very hard personal choice and something to FULL CIRCLE continued from page 1 The Phoenix FEN trial brighter in her memory. be honored – as I honor my mother today. watch him go in and out of hospitals, struggling to To any children of FEN members, I offer you this: FEN’s Arizona court case was in April 2011 and involved Nobody wants to think about losing a parent, or any Editor’s note: Unknown to Shana, her mother, and breathe, knowing that there was nothing she could do the 2007 exit of Jana Van Voorhis. to ease his suffering. Before trial, two defendants pleaded guilty to minor loved one, for that matter, but the ultimate display of her daughter, there is no law that prohibits someone After Papa passed, Mom admitted to becoming misdemeanors – in exchange for the state’s dropping felony gratitude and love we can show them is accepting their from being present at a planned death in Arizona. obsessed with controlling her own death and started charges of aiding in a suicide and for testifying against FEN’s wishes, even if they may not be ours. When she heard that (while preparing this article), to attend local FEN chapter meetings. She was the medical director, Dr. Lawrence Egbert, and Exit Guide Frank Our parents bring us into this world, love us, Shana was shaken. She could have been with Mom. Langsner. amazing lady with great baking skills who thought it provide us with our foundations for everything, and However, anyone present at a self-deliverence runs the The jury acquitted Egbert but could not agree on we cannot ask for more. Tell them what you need to risk of being falsely accused of assisting in the death, was fitting to bring her “death by chocolate” cake to Langsner, prompting a mistrial. Before his retrial, Langsner the gatherings. accepted a plea bargain on one count of misdemeanor say now, apologize, forgive, and be okay knowing that even experienced Exit Guides. Mom never applied to the Exit Guide Program. endangement, and he received a year’s probation. it’s not about you or anything you did or didn’t do. She read up on self-deliverance and researched to “do Each of the three FEN guilty pleas was to a single, it herself.” minor misdemeanor. She purchased a nitrogen tank and let the family Spain gives approval to euthanasia know that when it was her time, she would not be challenge, that erased her quality of life. entering hospitals or hospice – but instead would take I learned afterward that Mom had cleaned out most As expected, in March Spain joined three other The new law will allow chronically ill people to her life at a time of her choosing. of her house, with instructions to give to those in need European countries (Belgium, Luxembourg, and the end their lives in two different ways, differentiating what was left. Netherlands) in legalizing euthanasia and Medical Aid between euthanasia and MAiD. My daughter found Papa’s picture turned She had called her granddaughter, my oldest in Dying (MAiD). The latter is when a person is capable of under- toward the chair where Mom sat – so his was daughter, to let her know she was ready. She asked Moments after the vote, which passed 202-140, taking the act themselves. However, euthanasia refers the last face she saw. Ashley to phone at a designated time, to make sure Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez tweeted, to intentionally ending another one’s life. it had gone as planned. If there was no answer, she “Today we have become a country that is more To qualify, an applicant must be a Spanish national My family is Catholic, so this was a tough pill to would call a neighbor. When the neighbor didn’t humane, fairer and freer. The euthanasia law, widely or legal resident who is “fully aware and conscious” swallow, but anyone who ever met my mother knows answer, Ashley drove to the house, found my mother demanded by society, has finally become a reality.” when they make the request, which must be made that she did everything with careful consideration. She and phoned me. To pass the law, Sánchez’s Socialist Party sought twice in writing 15 days apart. told me that my uncle, her older brother, even said to My daughter found Papa’s picture turned toward help from other parties, despite pushbacks from right- Doctors will only consider patients who are living her, “I don’t understand, Marianne, but I know you and the chair where Mom sat – so his was the last face she wing lawmakers who have vowed to overturn the with a “serious or incurable disease” or a “chronic I love you, and I respect your wishes.” saw. A grief counselor got to the house along with the ruling at the first opportunity. or incapacitating” condition that causes “intolerable I must admit, at first I freaked out! Who wants authorities. She heard everything we said about my The bill was first introduced into the Spanish suffering.” their mother telling them she will be ending her life mother, and said she sounded like a spectacular lady parliament three years ago and has since undergone Anyone who applies has the right to withdraw at sometime in the future? But, as time went by, she who did things her way. extensive revisions by committees and in the senate. any time. became more committed, having a necklace and jacket We actually educated the counselor and a couple made that said: “My life, my death, my choice.” of others about Final Exit Network, though FEN was I assumed it would be not involved in her death. Happy b’day! Bestseller turns 30 – not ready to exit many years before I would Derek Humphry’s bestselling book Final Exit published it myself. need to deal with losing The selfish part of me wants more time. The selfish turned 30 in February. In updated versions, it still sells “Then an article about the book in the Wall Street her. However, my mother – part of me wants to talk to my mother once more, hug modestly around the world every day. Journal launched sales of 100,000 a week. I was the most extraordinary her once more – but in my mind, I know there would When published in 1991, it reached the New York amazed.” person I ever met – exited always be another wish for “once more.” Times book list as #1 and remained listed for 18 weeks. Exactly how many copies have been sold is on her own terms in her I take great peace in knowing my mother thought Final Exit became infamous as “the suicide difficult to estimate because of translations, internet home on Saturday, Jan. 30. about this in great detail, made the choice with a clear guide,” but author Humphry pointed to its sub-title E-books, audio versions, and it is a much-pirated She was 73. head, and was able to carry it out 100 percent the way and content as clearly being for the terminally and publication. Humphry estimates the total copies to be She had developed she wanted. hopelessly ill, not for the depressed. “around 2 million.” severe allergies that affected My only regret about it all is that she was not It has been translated into 12 major languages and Over 50 years, he has published 13 books.
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