Florida International University FIU Digital Commons FIU Electronic Theses and Dissertations University Graduate School 3-15-2007 Headz, a novel John Colagrande Jr. Florida International University DOI: 10.25148/etd.FI14060871 Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.fiu.edu/etd Part of the Fiction Commons Recommended Citation Colagrande, John Jr., "Headz, a novel" (2007). FIU Electronic Theses and Dissertations. 2401. https://digitalcommons.fiu.edu/etd/2401 This work is brought to you for free and open access by the University Graduate School at FIU Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in FIU Electronic Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of FIU Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY Miami, Florida HEADZ, A NOVEL A thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF ARTS in CREATIVE WRITING by John Colagrande, Jr. 2007 To: Interim Dean Mark Szuchman College of Arts and Sciences This thesis, written by John Colagrande, Jr., and entitled Headz, a Novel, having been approved in respect to style and intellectual content, is referred to you for judgment. We have read this thesis and recommend that it be approved. Meri-Jane Rochelson James W. Hall John Dufresne, Major Professor Date of Defense: March 15, 2007 The thesis of John Colagrande, Jr. is approved. Interim Dean Mark Szuchman College of Arts and Sciences Dean George Walker University Graduate School Florida International University, 2007 DEDICATION To the family EPIGRAPH The Party, though its flame may flicker low and all but gutter in these juiceless times, goes on forever. —Lester Bangs ABSTRACT OF THE THESIS HEADZ, A NOVEL by John Colagrande, Jr. Florida International University, 2007 Miami, Florida Professor John Duffesne, Major Professor This novel reveals the counterculture as seen through the eyes of a group of coming-of-age, vulnerable, reckless, and often pretentious youths. In New York, Thelonious Horowitz is an up-and-coming musician who is uninspired and decides to trek to Chicago for the biggest musical festival of the summer. A diverse cast of characters, living in New York, Miami, and San Francisco, round out the novel, of which Thelonious is the connective tissue, ultimately bringing everyone together at the festival where paths converge for an event none will soon forget, and a concert a few will get to see. The novel explores the spirit of youth through classical themes like love, wanderlust, freedom, betrayal, and family, all placed within a contemporary context, and in opposition to technology, fame, consumerism, the New Age, and to many, responsibility. This post-modern tragicomedy captures a moment in time in the spirit of Kerouac’s On the Road and Wolfe’s The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. v TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER PAGE PART ONE: NEW YORK STEEZ.............................................................................. 1 1. Buggin’ Out............................................................................................................ 2 2. Is Elizabeth Bishop the Enemy?........................................................................... 11 3. A Toys “R” Us Kid................................................................................................ 18 4. It’s 4:19. Can You Spare a Minute?...................................................................... 24 5. Biggie Smalls Never Smiled in a Picture.............................................................. 31 PART TWO: FLORI-DUH STEEZ............................................................................. 38 6. The Grow Room..................................................................................................... 39 7. Finding Nem o......................................................................................................... 51 PART THREE: SAN FRANCISCO STEEZ............................................................... 67 8. A Symphony in the Making................................................................................... 68 9. Hate the Haight....................................................................................................... 74 10. A Little Barbecue in Sonoma County................................................................... 86 PART FOUR: ON THE ROAD STEEZ...................................................................... 95 11. The Ceremony’s About to Begin.......................................................................... 96 12. Fly, Pelican, Fly...................................................................................................... 102 13. Ms. McGovern Goes to Washington.................................................................... 104 PART FIVE: ORACLEDANG..................................................................................... I ll 14. The Airport.............................................................................................................. 112 15. You Hit the Drum and I’ll Shake My Booty......................................................... 127 16. JUST SAY N 20...................................................................................................... 138 17. When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear........................................ 145 18. The World Is Yours, Wrecking-Crew................................................................... 154 19. TheFalafia.............................................................................................................. 159 20. Goo-Balls and a Nacho-Mamma........................................................................... 166 21. Rock On With Your Bad Self................................................................................ 176 22. The Miracle Man..................................................................................................... 189 23. 1st Catch of Phish................................................................................................... 198 24. 2nd Catch of Phish.................................................................................................. 205 25. Tree Full of Chattering Monkeys........................................................................... 210 26. The Open Microphone............................................................................................ 219 27. The Toltec................................................................................................................ 230 vi Part One New York Steez 1 Chapter 1— Buggin’ out Don’t look at me! Thelonious was already upset because it was a miserably hot day, and he had missed the first downtown train to see Teflon by like a second. He had to wait ten minutes for the next one, and you know how hot the platforms get during the summer. All he wanted was to get on the subway and not hear some crazy person’s spiel. He sucked his teeth and squeezed into an open seat. A bottle of Gatorade, almost empty, rolled to his feet, next to his Gino Ianucci skateboard deck. He watched as red drops of Gatorade shook with the subway car. Then a woman began to sing along with her portable radio. A summer song by a pop star, a teen who liked the skater boys. And the sound of the subway rumbled on. And the woman cranked up the radio. Thelonious stared at an advert for online education until he could no longer see it. At Columbus Circle, a man entered with a white stubbled face. A cranky man, he spoke in fragments and spat all over the place. Damn five horsel Why didn ’t I box Velazquez? Thelonious and everyone without an iPod had to listen to the old man as he yelled nonsense about horse racing. The old man’s spittle landed on Thelonious, and that caused his knees to tremble. It was rush hour and the train was an overcrowded stinky sweatshop. Everyone haggard. How long can the world of consumerism possibly continue? Take this, take that, buy, sell. Plus an intellectual subway hierarchy battle raged. Who’s reading the Post vs. who’s reading the Times. Who’s reading a magazine vs. who’s reading a novel. 2 Leave me alone! Thelonious wore the New York City evil eye, a hardened squint designed to keep people away, and then he flared his nostrils. Of course the woman turned up the radio so the subway car filled with the teen pop star and her skater boys. Thelonious shook his head real fast and a mop of black greasy hair covered his eyes. He dug into his backpack, found a pen, and his lyric journal. He scribbled. I am a sk8ter dude. I ’ll see you later, prude. I ’ll think o f you when sniffln a Quaalude. The lyrics came fast. You blow up. Yeah! You go pop. Don’t stop. When you grow up. You ’11 want to puke. And everyone will shout. Can we make it any more obvious? Girl, you sold out. Thelonious licked his lips and read what he wrote. He didn’t like the lyrics. Stoops. The subway suddenly felt very hot. He feared losing his inspiration. What happened to his kung-fu grip? Maybe he should get away. Escape the city. Where could he go? Oracledang was in three days. One show would inspire him. Hold on, son. Then he looked up and only inches from his face he saw a fist. Someone’s fist held on to the metal subway bar for support. The fist was chafed and cracked, like the sidewalks in the city above the tunnels. Thelonious bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes. To the old man who stood above him, it looked like the kid forgot how to breathe. Hurricane Clout Thelonious Horowitz sang in a band called Hurricane