DEVELOPMENT AND VALIDATION OF A TANTRIC SEX SCALE: SEXUAL- MINDFULNESS, SPIRITUAL PURPOSE, AND GENITAL/ORGASM DE-EMPHASIS
Brandon Lee Gordon
A Thesis
Submitted to the Graduate College of Bowling Green State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of
MASTER OF ARTS
December 2018
Committee:
Joshua Grubbs, Advisor
Anne Gordon
Kenneth Pargament
© 2018
Brandon L. Gordon
All Rights Reserved iii
ABSTRACT
Joshua Grubbs, Advisor
Tantra is a religious tradition that holds sex as nourishing to the spiritual life. Within
popular culture and scholarly works alike, there are reports claiming that tantric sex results in
deepening intimacy, increasing sexual passion, and increasing relational and sexual satisfaction.
To date, there is a complete absence of empirical research concerning the purported effects of
tantric sex. Given the reported benefits associated with tantric sex, there is a basis for empirical
inquiry. This study examined tantra empirically by developing, testing, and validating a brief
measure of tantric sexual practice. Additionally, this work demonstrates how this measure of
tantric sex might predict relevant outcomes such as relationship and sexual satisfaction. An
exploratory factor analysis approach was used with a goal of reducing a large item bank (81
items) to a briefer, 25-item scale. Three subscales emerged: Sexual-mindfulness, Spiritual
Purpose, and Genital/orgasm De-emphasis. Further hypothesis testing was conducted using both
correlation and regression analyses. Sexual-mindfulness was associated with Relationship and
Sexual Satisfaction in correlational and regression analysis. Spiritual Purpose was negatively
associated with Relationship Satisfaction in correlational and regression analysis. Genital/orgasm
De-emphasis was positively associated with Relationship Satisfaction in correlational and regression analysis. Implications of the results are discussed exploring possible implications for romantic relationships. iv
This thesis is dedicated to my romantic partner, Julie Pomerleau. She supports me tremendously
and my vocational endeavors by expressing love for me and inspiring me to continually
accomplish meaningful activities. This thesis would not be the same without her spiritual love
and encouragement. v
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to express immense gratitude for the work Joshua Grubbs contributed in conceptualizing and actualizing this project; I look forward to continuing scholarship with him.
Kenneth Pargament and Anne Gordon are both responsible for honing the final product.
vi
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
INTRODUCTION………………………………………………….………………………. 1
Background and Literature Review..……………………………………………….. 3
Historical Considerations……………………………………………...……. 3
Tantric Sex………………………………………………………………….. 4
The Practice of Tantric Sex…………………………………………………. 6
Purported Benefits of Tantric Sex.………………………………………….. 8
Mindfulness……………………...………………………………….. 8
Spiritual purpose………………...………………………………….. 10
Intimacy and passion..…………...………………………………….. 11
Physical, tantric techniques……...………………………………….. 13
Purpose of the Present Study…….………………………………………….. 14
METHOD…………………………………………………………..………………………. 16
Participants………………………………………………………………………….. 16
Procedure……………………………………………………………………………. 16
Measures…………………………………………………………………………….. 17
Tantric Sex Scale (TSS)………………………………………………….…. 17
Relationship Satisfaction……………………………………………………. 18
Sexual Satisfaction………………………………………………………….. 18
Triangular Love…………………………………………………….…….… 18
Sanctification of Sexuality in Relationships………………………….…….. 19
Secure Attachment…………………………………….……………………. 20 vii
RESULTS……………………….…………………………………………………………. 21
Factor Analysis.…………………………………………………………………….. 21
Bivariate Correlations………………………………………………….……………. 22
Hierarchical Linear Regressions……………………………………………………. 23
DISCUSSION………………………………………………………………………………. 26
Summary of Findings……………………………………………………………….. 26
Integration with Extant Literature……………………………………..……………. 28
Sexual Mindfulness…………………………………………………………. 28
Spiritual Purpose…………………………………………………………….. 29
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis…………………………………….………….. 30
Implications………………………………………………………………………….. 31
Limitations and Future Directions………………………………….……………….. 33
Conclusions………………………………………………………………………….. 34
REFERENCES……………………….……………………………………………………… 35
APPENDIX A. TABLES……………………………………………………………………. 46
APPENDIX B. TANTRIC SEX ITEM BANK……………………….…………………….. 63
APPENDIX C. SHORTENED TANTRIC SEX SCALE……………………….…………… 67
APPENDIX D. RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION SCALE………………………………. 69
APPENDIX E. SEXUAL SATISFACTION SCALE……………………….………………. 70
APPENDIX F. STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR LOVE SCALE……………………….…. 71
APPENDIX G. REVISED SANCTIFICATION OF RELATIONAL SEXUALITY………. 73
APPENDIX H. ATTACHMENT STYLE QUESTIONAIRE………………………………. 75 1
INTRODUCTION
Drop all masks. Be true. Reveal your whole heart; be nude […] Whatsoever arises in your heart should remain transparent to your beloved, and whatsoever arises in her heart should remain transparent to you. You should become two transparent beings to each other. By and by, you will see that through each other you are growing to a higher unity.
Shree Rajneesh, 1976
In the context of religion, sexual behavior is often described as being a potential source of conflict or vice (Penhollow, Young, & Denny, 2005; Woodley, 1988). Religiosity is tied to lower rates of sexual behavior (Zaleski & Schiaffino, 2000) and more restrictive attitudes towards sex
(e.g., Grubbs, Exline, Pargament, Hook, & Carlisle, 2015; Grubbs, Wilt, Exline, Pargament, &
Kraus, 2017; Lefkowitz, Gillen, Shearer & Boone, 2004). Past research has found that religious people, such as a subset of Christian adherents, often promote antagonistic views towards sexuality (Bullough, 1977; Thomas, 2013, 2016). Even so, despite such trends, there are, in fact, traditions that hold sex as nourishing to the spiritual life. One such tradition is tantric sex
(Douglas & Slinger, 1979).
Traditional Tantra is a religious path originating from Hindu, Daoist, and Buddhist traditions (Douglas & Slinger, 1979; Feuerstein, 1998; Guether & Trungpa, 1975). This path holds that people can enhance their spiritual lives through meditative practices, such as meditative approaches to sexual behavior (Feuerstein, 1998). In traditional Tantra, the goal of all meditative practice, including meditative sexuality, is enlightenment, a spiritual state of being wherein the subject (also known as a practitioner, Feuerstein, 1998) no longer experiences suffering caused by selfish human desires (Das, 1998; Kishimoto, 1954). Similarly, a related system known as Neotantra, (or New Age Tantra) shifted the focus from enlightenment to the 2
improvement of the relationship between lovers (Muir & Muir, 1989; Richardson, 2003) through
practices variously referred to as tantric sex, tantric yoga, Karmamudra, spiritual sex, sacred sex,
or mystical sex (Douglas & Slinger, 1979; Feuerstein, 1998; Kruse, 2002; Simmer-Brown,
2002).
The notion of tantric sex is relatively popular in Western societies. Through a search on
Amazon.com, the key words “tantric sex” retrieve over 650 results in the book section alone
(Tantric Sex, 2017). Through the popular video website YouTube.com, a similar search yields
150,000 results (Tantric Sex: Video, 2017), with collective views into the millions (Tantric Sex:
Google, 2017). A general web search through a popular search engine (i.e., Google.com) yielded
far greater feedback at nearly two million results for “tantric sex.” As a comparison to “tantric
sex,” “healthy sex” retrieves over 100 million views in a search on google. Moving further, in
popular culture, tantric sex has often been a topic of discussion. For example, the well-known
recording artist, Sting, and the popular television series Sex in the City have both mentioned
tantric sex as a beneficial and enjoyable practice (“Sting Talks 7-Hour Tantric Sex,” 2014; “Sex and the City Tantric Sex Workshop,” 2013). In short, modern Western (particularly American) culture is full of significant references to this new practice.
Beyond discussing the topic of tantric sex itself, many popular resources are laden with claims of the purported benefits of this practice. Within popular culture and scholarly works alike, there are reports claiming that tantric sex results in spiritual enlightenment, states of transcendence, heightened levels of ecstasy, expanded consciousness, and a generally more fulfilled existence (Kruse, 2002; Martin, 2015; Voigt, 1991). Furthermore, there are also claims of it benefitting romantic relationships by deepening intimacy, increasing sexual passion, and
increasing relational and sexual satisfaction (Muir & Muir, 1989; Richardson, 2003). 3
Given this popularity and the reported benefits associated with tantric sex, there is a basis for empirical inquiry. Even so, to date, there is an absence of empirical studies researching the purported effects of this form of sex. Considering this absence, the primary purpose of the present work is to establish an empirical study of tantric sex. I aim to accomplish this goal by developing, testing, and validating a relatively brief measure of tantric sexual practice.
Additionally, I aim to examine how this newly developed measure of tantric sex might predict or be associated with relevant outcomes such as relationship and sexual satisfaction.
Background and Literature Review
Below, I seek to examine the historical background of tantric sex, current definitions of tantric sex, and the ways in which tantric sex may be a relevant construct to study in the greater context of personal well-being.
Historical Considerations. For the purpose of the present work, I will be specifically focused on the definition and measurement of tantric sex. However, tantric sex, historically, falls within the greater umbrella of Tantric religious practice (Douglas & Slinger, 1979; Muir
& Muir, 1989). Tantra,1 as an organized religious practice, traces its roots to 500 CE, although it was only developed more formally in 1000 CE when it was taught by Abhinava Gupta
(Feuerstein, 1998; Guenther & Trungpa, 1975). The word “Tantra” was coined by missionaries
1 One facet of Tantra is the practice of specific sexual activities with the purpose of attaining enlightenment. In the West however, tantra has a heavy emphasis on sexual practices with less emphasis on attaining enlightenment. There is a deep divide between how tantric sex is currently used and its history in the strictly religious context (White, 2006). In terms of traditional, religious Tantra, and newer, “new age” Tantra as systems, I will be using the capitalized form “Tantra.” For “new age” tantric sex specifically, I will be using the uncapitalized form. For the present work, I will focus more explicitly on current practices of tantric sex, as explained below. Currently, “tantric sex” is viewed in the Western world to enhance one’s sex life. Tantric sex workshops are claimed to enhance orgasms and lengthen love making time. Some scholars of traditional Tantra call this “sex enhancing” form of sex, “neo-tantrism” and give no credence to its relation to the historical, religious Tantra (Feuerstein, 1998). Credibility is not given to “Neo-Tantra” because the religiosity is divorced from the practice and has turned into a hedonistic act. Feuerstein (1998) considers “Neo-Tantra” as focused on sex and the pleasures derived from it as opposed to pursuing enlightenment. Furthermore, he believes that people practicing Tantra without proper initiation, a teacher, and devotion to the path, they may be affected negatively psychologically, emotionally, and physically as opposed to benefitting from the practice 4 in India in 1799, flowing from a Sanskrit word meaning “continuity” or “thread” (Guenther
& Trungpa, 1975). Currently, Tantra is practiced by the conservative sects of Shri-Vidya
Hinduism of South India, Tibetan Buddhism, and by the Vajrayana Buddhist tradition (Gyatso,
2017). Tantra, as a formal religious practice, is an esoteric religion that has branches within
Hinduism, Buddhism, and Daoism and all of which state an overarching purpose of attaining enlightenment (Douglas & Slinger, 1979; Feuerstein, 1998; Guenther & Trungpa, 1975).
Enlightenment is a spiritual state wherein the subject’s suffering due to selfish or human desires is removed (Das, 1998; Kishimoto, 1954). The precise goal and method of Tantra is, in some significant part, virtually unknown, because the practices are held secret and open only to disciples of Tantric teachers (Douglas & Slinger, 1979). However, there is consensus that Tantra hinges on the belief that humans fundamentally exist in relation to something else: we are connected to, as opposed to distinct from, all things (Guenther & Trungpa, 1975). The realization of this truth is what is thought to be “Tantra.”
Tantric Sex. Whereas the purpose of traditional, religious, Tantric sex is exclusively to attain enlightenment, New Age tantric sex holds that the purpose of sex is to enhance the relationship of the couple (Richardson, 2003) by way of increasing intimacy and passion (Muir
& Muir, 1989). Some scholars of Tantra call this “sex enhancing” form of sex “Neo-Tantrism” and give no credence to its relation to the historical, religious Tantra (Feuerstein, 1998; White,
2006). Feuerstein (1988) considers “Neo-Tantra” to be focused on sex and the pleasures derived from it more than connecting with the Divine. For the present work, hereafter, the uncapitalized term “tantric sex” will refer to New Age tantric sex more broadly, unless otherwise specified. 5
Tantric sex’s purpose is to enhance the passion and intimacy of the couple (Muir & Muir,
1989). Within psychology more broadly, both intimacy and passion have a long history of empirical study and therefore can be defined well by said empirical resources. Sternberg (1988) considered romantic love to be a combination of intimacy and passion. Sternberg asserted that intimacy involves feelings that encourage closeness and connectedness with a partner and communicating clearly those personal feelings. Interestingly, intimacy has been likened to a spiritual connection (Muir & Muir, 1989). Shree Rajneesh (also known as Osho), a tantric sex teacher (Nagaraj, 2013), described tantric sex in a way very consistent with Sternberg’s description of healthy, romantic love. Osho (1976) writes:
Drop all masks. Be true. Reveal your whole heart; be nude. Between two lovers there should not be any secrets, otherwise love is not. Drop all secrecy. It is politics; secrecy is politics. It should not be in love. You should not hide anything. Whatsoever arises in your heart should remain transparent to your beloved, and whatsoever arises in her heart should remain transparent to you. You should become two transparent beings to each other. By and by, you will see that through each other you are growing to a higher unity p. 159
Sternberg held Walster & Walster’s (1978) definition of passion, a desire for union with the other, in high regard. Tantric sex is tied to passion that a couple has for each other in that the lovers feel strongly about each other (Muir & Muir, 1989). They are aroused greatly by each other even after years of being together. Passion being a desire for sexual fulfillment is also within Sternberg’s theory. Tantric sex capitalizes on couples’ urge to become one with each other. The desires that lead to sex are pivotal to what is considered healthy.
In short, then, tantric sex is a spiritual practice with the goal of enhancing the couples’ relationship by increasing felt closeness, connectedness, vulnerability, openness, and sexual arousal. In many ways, these goals are actually consistent with widely held definitions of romantic love. The feelings above are tied to intimacy and passion, which are increased by 6 tantric sex and are held as the qualities of romantic love. Therefore, in premise, tantric sex can increase romantic love.
The Practice of Tantric Sex. Building on these definitions, the practice of tantric sex also requires a number of specific techniques. These techniques are both cognitive (e.g., holding to tantric purpose; mindfully approaching sexual interactions) and physical (e.g., specific sexual techniques; Richardson, 2003; Voigt, 1991). Below, I seek to review these specific techniques.
One of the preliminary techniques of tantric sex is the establishment of a clear and specific purpose for the sexual encounter (Martin, 2015), that purpose being to achieve a spiritual union with and experience a profound love for each other. In light of this primary objective, then, tantric sex requires a specific conversation about the intention behind the sexual activity. In practice, this may involve the establishment of a ritual of communicating with one’s partner before having sex that the purpose behind the anticipated activity is to enhance one’s spiritual life and/or relationship. Although simple and straightforward, the definition and communication of this goal before a sexual encounter is a prerequisite for a wholly tantric experience.
Mindfulness is also a required component to tantric sex (Richardson, 2003). Mindfulness is a mental activity that involves intentionally and nonjudgmentally attending to the present moment, a person’s experience as it is in a particular instant (Baer, 2003; Kabat-Zinn, 2015).
Bishop et al. (2004) adds that mindfulness involves being curious about, open to, and accepting of one’s experience. Therefore, mindfulness includes maintaining a nonjudgmental awareness of sensations such as sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch (Kabat-Zinn, 2015). It also involves feeling emotions as they come and go in one’s experience (Das, 1997). A person who is being mindful, experiences stimuli without giving preference or favor to any one stimulus (Kabat-Zinn, 7
2015). The individual abstains from the mental action of pursuing an experience or pushing away undesirable experiences (Kabat-Zinn, 2015). More simply, mindfulness involves mentally embracing the present moment (Das, 1997).
Tantric sex involves mindfulness in that the partners are focused wholly on the present moment while they are having sex as opposed to anticipating something such as an orgasm or day-dreaming in fantasy (Martin, 2015; Richardson, 2003). A tantric practitioner is concentrated on current sensations, perceptions, and emotions (Richardson, 2003). The mindfulness aspect of tantric sex encompasses the physical aspect of sex as well as the mental and emotional aspects.
Practitioners would be aware of how they are feeling emotionally and physically throughout their sexual encounter without "holding on" to any particular feeling (Richardson, 2003). Orgasmic feelings are secondary to a focus on the overall sexual experience such as one’s weight against the bed or the sounds being emitted from one’s partner, for example (Richardson, 2003).
Similar to mindfulness in general, tantric sex is a meditative practice: if the mind wanders during sex, the partners bring their mind back to the present moment (Martin, 2015; Richardson,
2003). Meditation involves the action of keeping attention on a focal point (Das, 1997). The
“focal point” of tantric sex is the full sexual experience of one’s own body, the body of one’s partner, and each other’s emotional experiences (Richardson, 2003).
The final component of tantric sex is the integration of specific physical techniques.
Often, the physical mechanics of tantric sex are kept as sacred secrets (Douglas & Slinger, 1979;
Feuerstein, 1998), but some teachers and practitioners—particularly those who follow New Age tantra—are open to sharing these techniques with others (Feuerstein, 1998; Richardson, 2003).
Some of the techniques described are sustained eye gazing, synchronized breathing, commencing and concluding rituals, periods of motionlessness intercourse, and lack of focus on orgasm 8
(Richardson, 2003; Voigt, 1991). Teachers describe eye gazing as a relaxed, loving stare into the partners eyes throughout a substantial portion of the love making (Martin, 2015; Richardson,
2003). Before engaging directly in tantric sex, many couples perform rituals such as meditation in order to prepare themselves for the sexual experience (Martin, 2015; Richardson, 2003).
In addition to these techniques, some authors have also described delayed orgasm/ejaculation and anorgasmia as important physical techniques (Richardson, 2003; Voigt,
1991). The purpose of such delay or avoidance is to prolong the sexual encounter and to increase the duration and intensity of excitement and energy and therefore the intimacy experienced. Even so, this technique is not universally described by practitioners and teachers, as some practitioners boast actually of more pleasurable and multiple orgasms (Maor, 2016).
Purported Benefits of Tantric Sex. While no empirical research exists on the benefits of tantric sex, scholars and practitioners alike claim associated benefits such as increased relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and physical pleasure and lower levels of depression, anxiety, and other distress indicators. Additionally, many of these purported benefits may be inferred by other extant literatures, which I will review below.
Mindfulness. In tantric sex, one may practice mindfulness meditation before sex and while engaging in intercourse. Empirical research has shown that mindfulness meditation enhances one’s ability to attend to the present moment such as one’s bodily sensations (Semple,
2010). Therefore, meditating before intercourse may produce greater mindfulness during sex.
In general, mindfulness is known to ameliorate symptoms associated with psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder (Desrosiers,
Klemanski, & Nolen-Hoeksema, 2013; Elices, et al., 2016). It is well-known as a successful 9
intervention for a variety of populations, facing a variety of difficulties (Germer, Siegel, &
Fulton, 2016).
Mindfulness is also often part of sex therapy, incorporated as a remedy for many sexual
problems such as erectile dysfunction and arousal disorders (Kimmes, Mallory, Cameron, &
Köse, 2015; for a review, see Barker, 2016). In relatively recent years, mindfulness has been
incorporated into sex therapy, with therapists encouraging clients to attend to sensory experience
with non-judgmental awareness (Brotto, 2013). Mindful sex has been shown to be effective for several different sexual complaints that couples have. Masters and Johnson (1970) encouraged couples with sexual dysfunction to caress each other without the goal of orgasm and to allow oneself to be absorbed in the experience, a practice very close to mindfulness. Mindfulness based therapy for sexual disorders has also been shown to be effective (Brotto, Basson, & Luria, 2008).
Women with sexual desire/interest and sexual arousal disorders found benefit in the mindfulness
training (Brotto, Basson, & Luria, 2008).
Khaddouma et al. (2015) theorize from their empirical research that people who are
inherently more mindful enjoy sex more than their less mindful counterparts because they have
greater body awareness and physiological arousal. More specifically, the facet of mindfulness
that best explained sexual satisfaction and therefore relationship satisfaction was being non-
evaluative (experiencing all stimuli as being neither good nor bad, desirable nor undesirable)
about and observant of stimuli during sex (Khaddouma et al., 2015). Other empirical studies
have shown that greater mindfulness is associated with greater sexual satisfaction (Newcombe &
Weaver, 2016). The participants with greater cognitive distractors were less satisfied with their sexual activity than their more mindful counterparts. The level of cognitive distraction explained how mindfulness increased sexual satisfaction. 10
Spiritual purpose. Beyond the benefits of incorporating mindfulness into one’s sexual
life, maintaining a tantric, spiritual purpose to sex may also benefit a practitioner. As of yet, no
empirical data shows that approaching sex with tantric purpose benefits the practitioner.
However, other empirical studies exist showing benefits to holding sex as sacred (Hernandez,
Mahoney, & Pargament, 2011; Murray-Swank, Pargament, & Mahoney, 2005), which may also
apply to tantric sex.
People who sanctify aspects of their lives in general derive benefits from doing so
(Mahoney, Pargament, & Hernandez, 2013). Sanctification involves seeing an aspect of life as
having divine (god-like) character and significance (Pargament & Mahoney, 2009). There is a
theistic aspect and non-theistic aspect to sanctification. The non-theistic aspect includes giving ultimate value and purpose to an activity. Tantric practitioners sanctify (make sacred) sex by characterizing each other's bodies and their activity as divine. Their bodies and activity are considered divine because their bodies are revered as a temple, a place to worship God. God, in this situation, is each party's "highest self or soul" (Douglas & Slinger, 1979, p. 24).
Importantly, people who view their sexual activity as sacred are more likely to find their sexual activity to be satisfying (Murray-Swank, Pargament, & Mahoney, 2005). Also, it was the case that sexual activity increased as sanctification of the activity increased. It should be noted that these researchers investigated sanctification as indicative of God being part of the couples’ sexual activity as well as the activity being generally considered sacred. However, tantric sex is considered sacred without the need of a God figure.
Furthermore, Hernandez, Mahoney, and Pargament (2011) assert that married couples who imbued their sexual activity as sacred had a greater likelihood of having high marital satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. Also, sanctified 11 relationships have been tied to greater commitment, use of communal religious resources, and general happiness experienced from the relationship. It should be noted in this study as well that the sanctified marriages are defined as the relationship being imbued with God’s presence and general sacred qualities.
Beyond spiritual purpose, in tantra, couples have a spiritual intention and shared spiritual practice. While there are no empirical studies that show engaging in tantric practices benefit the relationship, there are relational benefits for couples who participate in spiritual practices such as prayer together (Dollahite & Lambert, 2007; Lambert, Fincham, LaVallee, & Brantley, 2012).
Engagement in religious activities like church attendance and religious rituals have been linked to good relational outcomes (Fiese & Tomcho, 2001; Lichter & Carmalt, 2009). Greater involvement in religious activities is associated with a lower risk of divorce, infidelity, and domestic violence (Mahoney & Cano, 2014). The greater the volume of religious activity a couple engages in, the greater relational satisfaction they experience (Mahoney & Cano, 2014).
Therefore, it may be the case that couples engaging in the spiritual practice of tantric sex could increase their relational satisfaction. Mahoney and Cano (2014) have shown that couples who engage in religious activities together help their relationship because they sanctify their relationship. Sanctification of one’s relationship (relational spirituality), deeming one’s relationship sacred, is linked to good relational outcomes.
Intimacy and passion. To review, the purpose of New Age tantric sex is to increase sexual and overall relationship satisfaction and cultivate intimacy and passion. Again, although research on tantric sex itself is limited, cultivating passion and intimacy may lead to many benefits such as greater sexual and overall relationship satisfaction. 12
Intimacy is felt closeness with one’s partner (Yoo, Bartle-Haring, Day, & Gangamma,
2014). It is often an important component of relationships known to correlate with couple’s
relationship satisfaction (Greeff & Malherbe, 2001; Yoo, Bartle-Haring, Day, & Gangamma,
2014) and dissatisfaction (Doss, Simpson, & Christensen, 2004), especially that of emotional and
sexual intimacy. At its worst, a lack of intimacy has been linked empirically to relationship
dissolution, (Hansson & Ahlborg, 2016; Waring, 1988) which demonstrates its importance.
Because tantric sex promotes interacting with each other in an intimate way, it may be the case that tantric sex increases relationship satisfaction.
Passion or sexual desire for the other (wanting to become one with the other and
experienced arousal by the other) is involved in tantric sex. Greater sexual satisfaction and
sexual desire (also known as passion) has been shown to increase relational satisfaction (Ferreira,
Narciso, Novo, & Pereira, 2014; Sprecher, 2004; Yeh, Lorrenz, Wickrama, Conger, & Elder,
2006). Sexual desire increases relational satisfaction (Brezsnyak & Whisman, 2004). Nonsexual
dimensions of couples' lives like relational distress and dissatisfaction are associated with low
sexual desire. Through a longitudinal study, Yeh, Lorrenz, Wickrama, Conger, & Elder (2006)
found that sexual satisfaction was very important for couple’s relationship as it influenced
marital quality and stability. Tantric sex may be able to satiate and stimulate sexual desire, thus
increasing sexual satisfaction and ultimately increase relational satisfaction.
In a qualitative study closely related to the present work, Kruse (2002) discovered that
couples who engaged in tantric sex found it to enhance their sex lives and deepened their overall
relationships as well. Specifically, couples who engaged in tantric sex increased intimacy and
their satisfaction with the relationship as a whole. The researcher interviewed many couples
whom labeled their sexual activity as “tantra” or “sacred” resulting into many purported 13 relational benefits to the activity. The couples also described their experiences as a “feeling of spirituality,” “mystical experience,” way to grow personally, and a way to connect with community.
Physical, tantric techniques. We have reviewed the potential benefits of mindfulness, sanctification, passion, and intimacy. Now I will discuss the claimed benefits of the physical techniques that compose tantric sex. While the claimed physical techniques of tantric sex in this study are sustained eye gazing, synchronized breath, beginning and ending rituals, periodic motionlessness, and lack of orgasm, only lack of orgasm and eye gazing were found in the historical scientific literature as influencing the sexual or relational experience.
Omitting orgasm from sex is a technique of tantric sex and can help with extending the amount of time one engages sexually with one’s partner. It may also help facilitate mindfulness by focusing one’s mind on the present moment rather than pursuing orgasmic achievement. The same logic of mindfulness applies to the tantric technique of periodic motionlessness intercourse, which allows the couple to feel the current moment and avoid the pursuit of orgasm. This practice has been at least partially supported by prior works. Specifically, sensate focused exercises prescribed by sex therapists include delaying or omitting orgasm and use of motionlessness (or lack of thrusting) (Masters & Johnson, 1970; Weiner & Avery-Clark, 2014).
These exercises alleviate erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation (Gupta, Banerjee, &
Nandi, 1989). Given their utility in treating sexual dysfunction, it is also plausible that these techniques may be more generally associated with better sexual functioning or satisfaction.
Mutual eye gazing is another technique of tantric sex, one that has been described as an effective means of demonstrating the love one has for one's partner (Rubin, 1970). In early studies of this topic, results indicated that people who love each other (as opposed to 14 acquaintances) gaze into each other’s eyes for longer periods of time, indicating that eye gazing is a typical behavior for lovers (Rubin, 1970). Therefore, introducing eye gazing into a couples’ repertoire of loving behaviors, as in tantric sex, may increase their love for each other further.
Grant-Jacob (2016) confirms further that eye gazing is a sexual behavior that people use to communicate attraction. He explains that people may communicate an emotional attachment and affection through said gaze, which can be good for a relationship. Williams and Kleinke (1993) also found that partners gazing into each other’s eyes increases attraction, which can increase relational satisfaction. Depending on one’s inherent, romantic proclivity, mutual eye gazing has been shown to increase desire to couple with one’s partner (Williams & Kleinke, 1993).
Collectively, this evidence suggests that eye-gazing—which is often described as an essential part of tantric sex—may promote positive outcomes in a couple’s sexual life.
Purpose of the Present Study. Given the previously reviewed literature documenting the prevalence of tantric sex in popular culture and the related extant literature suggesting that aspects of it may be of personal and relational benefit, the topic of tantric sex seems to warrant empirical investigation. The proposed study was designed to pursue this end. The objectives of this study were 1) to empirically measure tantric sex using the previously described components
(mindfulness, tantric purpose, and physical techniques) of said activity and 2) to preliminarily evaluate associated benefits of tantric sex according to my developed measure. To accomplish these objectives, the present work attempted to develop and validate a scale that evaluates participants’ sexual activities as exhibiting varying degrees of tantric sex. It was hypothesized that all three components (mindfulness, tantric purpose, and physical techniques) of tantric sex would emerge as distinct subscales of the new Tantric Sex Scale (TSS). Also, it was hypothesized that scores on each component of the TSS (i.e., how tantric one’s sex life is) would 15 relate to relational satisfaction, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction. Additionally, it was hypothesized that these relationships would persist even when other salient variables are controlled (e.g., sanctification of sex, general attachment style, gender, age of participant). 16
METHOD
The current research relied on secondary data analysis of previously collected data
relevant to the current topic. Below, I review the method by which the sample was obtained and
the included measures.
Participants
Participants were recruited using Amazon’s Mechanical Turk (MTurk) workforce database. This service has been shown to be a good research avenue for gathering data for psychosocial research purposes (Buhrmester, Kwang, & Gosling, 2011; Paolacci, Chandler, &
Ipeirotis, 2010). Furthermore, Mechanical Turk has been used to research religious and spiritual phenomena (Gervais & Norenzayan, 2012) as well as sexual phenomena (Grubbs et al., 2015,
2016, 2017, 2018).
The participants for the current study (N = 833, M age = 34.6, SD = 10.1, Range = 18-74;
393 men, 430 women, 10 other/prefer not to say) were derived from a larger study (N = 1094).
The participants for the current study were limited to those who reported being currently sexually
active. The demographics of my sample are in Table 4. The sample was predominately Atheist or
without a religion (50%), then Christian (40%), and the remaining “other” was comprised of
religions such as Buddhism, paganism, and various other affiliations. The participants were
mostly White (74%), other (10%), Black (9%), and, last Pacific Islander (6%). Furthermore, only
those in a sexually active romantic relationship (N=476) were considered in analyzing the tantric
sex items specifically.
Procedure
For the present study, an advertisement was placed on the MTurk website using the
TurkPrime research interface (Litman, Robinson, & Abberbock, 2016). The advertisement 17
offered participants $6.00 in exchange for completing a survey about “Personality, Beliefs, and
Behaviors.” On the informed consent page, the purpose of the study was elaborated upon, the
potential risks and benefits were communicated, and confidentiality was assured.
Measures
Tantric Sex Scale (TSS). At the time of the study, there was no known psychometric
scale that assessed whether a person was having sex in a tantric manner or not. The major
purpose of this study was to develop a tantric scale and begin validating it. Mindfulness, purpose,
and particular tantric techniques such as eye gazing are all components associated with tantric
sex. In service of this goal, an 81-item item bank (see Appendix A) assessing various behaviors
and attitudes consistent with tantric sex was developed using a team approach, incorporating
experts in the psychology of religion and spirituality and human sexuality as well as peer
reference groups. All items were answered on a scale of 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly
agree).
The item bank was designed to reflect the three sub-categories of tantric sex described above (e.g., mindfulness, purpose, and physical techniques). Mindfulness was assessed with questions such as, "I try to keep my focus in the current moment when having sex with my partner" and reverse-coded items such as "My mind wanders while I am having sex with my partner.”
The specific purpose of tantric sex was assessed with questions such as, "I view sex as a way to develop my religious or spiritual life" and "I have sex with my partner in order to feel united with him or her." 18
Specific techniques associated with tantric sex were assessed using items such as, "I think
that it is important for my partner and I to gaze into each other's eyes as part of sex," and
"Whether or not I have an orgasm during sex is not important to me."
Relationship Satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction was assessed by the 7-item
Relationship Assessment Scale, which can be found under Appendix C (RAS; Hendrick, 1988).
Answers could range from 1 (low satisfaction) to 5 (high satisfaction). Example questions included are, “In general, how satisfied are you with your relationship?” and “How much do you love your partner?”
Sexual Satisfaction. Sexual satisfaction was assessed by the New Sexual Satisfaction
Scale, which can be found in Appendix D (NSSS; Štulhofer, Buško, & Brouillard, 2010). This
20-item measure assesses personal, interpersonal, and behavioral components of sexual satisfaction. Answers could range from 1 (not at all satisfied) to 5 (extremely satisfied). The prompt is, “Thinking About Your Sex Life During the Last Six Months, Please Rate Your
Satisfaction with the Following Aspects:” Example items include, “The intensity of my sexual arousal” and “My partner’s surrender to sexual pleasure (‘letting go’).”
Triangular Love. Intimacy was measured using the 7-item Intimacy Subscale of the 21-
item Sternberg Triangular Love Scale, which can be found in Appendix E (1988). “Intimacy
refers to feelings of closeness, connectedness, Aydzujvc-hj5[weq6 bondedness in loving
relationships” (Sternberg, 1997, p. 315). The survey reads, “Earlier, you indicated that you are in
a romantic relationship. For the purposes of this questionnaire, please think of that romantic
partner when you read "____". How much do you agree with the following items?” Example
items include, “I feel emotionally close to ____” and “I feel that I really understand _____.”
Passion was measured using the 7-item passion subscale of the 21-item Sternberg Triangular 19
Love Scale, which can be found in Appendix E (1988). “Passion refers to the drives that lead to
romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomena in loving
relationships” (Sternberg, 1997, p. 315). The questions assessing passion are within the same
questionnaire as the intimacy questions. Example items include, “My relationship with ______is
passionate” and “Just seeing _____ is exciting for me.” Commitment was measured using the 7-
item intimacy subscale of the 21-item Sternberg Triangular Love Scale, which can be found in
Appendix E (1988). Commitment refers to the decision to love your partner and motivation to
maintain that love over time. The survey reads, “Earlier, you indicated that you are in a romantic
relationship. For the purposes of this questionnaire, please think of that romantic partner when
you read "____". How much do you agree with the following items?” Example items include, “I
view my commitment to ____ as a solid one” and “Even when ____ is hard to deal with, I
remain committed to our relationship.”
Sanctification of Sexuality in Relationships. How sanctified participants consider their
sexual relationship to be was measured by the 20-item Revised Sanctification of Marital
Sexuality Scale, which can be found in Appendix F (Hernandez, Mahoney, & Pargament, 2011).
It is adapted for the use of married and non-married individuals alike. It measures the degree to which participants see their sexual relationship, “as a manifestation of one’s beliefs or experiences of the divine as well as marked by sacred qualities.” (p. 775). Instructions include,
“Please indicate below how much the following statements apply to sex with your primary
sexual partner.” Example items include, “I experience God through the sexual bond I have with
my partner” and “Being sexually intimate with my partner feels like a deeply spiritual
experience.” 20
Secure Attachment. Secure attachment style was assessed using a single item, “It is easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.” This item was from Bartholomew and Horowitz’s (1991) 4-item Self-Report Attachment Style
Questionnaire, which can be found in Appendix G. Participants rated their agreement with the prompts from 1 (strongly agree) to 7 (strongly disagree).
21
RESULTS
Descriptive statistics for all included measures, as well as for all items in the Tantric Sex
Item Bank were calculated and are provided in Tables 1, 2, and 3. Below, I review the results of
the previously described research plan.
Factor Analysis
Because of the early stages of determining tantric sex's effect on relationships, an
exploratory factor analysis approach was used (Costello & Osborne, 2016), with a goal of
reducing the item-bank to a briefer, 25-item scale. Maximum likelihood estimation was used
with a goal of establishing a three-factor solution for the present scale (Costello & Osborne,
2016), consistent with a priori hypotheses regarding the nature of tantric sex. Also, direct
oblimin rotation was used, as the components of tantric sex are expected to relate strongly to
each other (Costello & Osborne, 2016).
Out of the original 81 items, three factors emerged, which slightly diverged from our
initially hypothesized factor structure. As such, we termed our three scales: Sexual Mindfulness,
Spiritual Purpose, and Genital/orgasm De-emphasis. These factors accounted for 38% of the total variance in the model. The first two of these factors were consistent with my hypotheses:
Sexual Mindfulness and Spiritual Purpose both emerged, accounting for 32% of the total variance. However, the third factor to emerge was titled Genital/orgasm De-emphasis and
consisted of reverse coded items such as “My orgasm is the most important part of sex” and “My
focus during sex is on my genitals as opposed to my body as a whole.”
Given the stated purpose of developing a succinct scale, items were reduced based on key criteria. All items with factor loadings less than an absolute value of |.60| were deleted from their respective scales, with a few exceptions (e.g., “My focus during sex is on my genitals as opposed 22
to other parts of my body” with a loading of .47 was included due to the third factor not
including enough items to justify a subscale). Redundant items were also deleted (e.g., “It is
important to me to be present with my partner while we are having sex” was removed, while “I value being fully present while having sex with my partner” was retained). Each of these items loaded similarly and we only need one item per construct.
Ultimately, these processes left us with 25 items on three scales: Sexual Mindfulness,
Spiritual Purpose, and Genital/orgasm De-emphasis. iTen tems were included in the Sexual
Mindfulness and Spiritual Purpose subscales respectively. Only five items were included on the
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale. Please refer to Appendix B to see the shortened Tantric
Sex Scale. With regards to interfactor relationships, Sexual Mindfulness did not correlate
significantly with Spiritual Purpose, but it did correlate significantly and positively with
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis. Spiritual Purpose correlated significantly and negatively with
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis. For the remaining analyses, mean scores were calculated for each
subscale.
Bivariate Correlations
The hypotheses that tantra relates with relational and sexual satisfaction were initially
tested via Pearson correlations. These correlations are available in Table 5. Sexual Mindfulness,
that is, how mindful the participants are while they are having sex with their partner and how
much they value said mindfulness, was significantly and positively correlated with Relationship
Satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction. Spiritual Purpose, which is akin to applying a spiritual
purpose to sex, was negatively and significantly correlated to Relationship Satisfaction.
However, Spiritual Purpose was positively correlated with Sexual Satisfaction. The final scale, 23
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis was positively and significantly correlated with Relationship
Satisfaction. However, Genital/orgasm De-emphasis was not associated with Sexual Satisfaction.
Sexual Mindfulness correlated positively and significantly with Sternberg’s Passion,
Commitment and Intimacy subscales respectively. Spiritual Purpose correlated significantly with all of Sternberg’s scales. The Spiritual Purpose subscale correlated positively with Sternberg’s
Passion subscale but negatively with Sternberg’s Commitment and Intimacy subscales. Last, the
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis scale correlated significantly and positively with Sternberg’s
Commitment and Intimacy subscale but was not associated significantly with Sternberg’s
Passion subscale.
The Sexual Mindfulness subscale correlated significantly and positively with Hernandez,
Mahoney, & Pargament’s (2011) Non-Theistic Revised Sanctification of Relational Sexuality scale. The Spiritual Purpose subscale correlated similarly but the Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale correlated significantly and negatively with the Relational Sexuality scale. The Sexual
Mindfulness subscale correlated significantly and positively with the Secure Attachment Scale.
The Spiritual Purpose subscale correlated similarly but the Genital/orgasm subscale was not significant.
Hierarchical Linear Regressions
Primary hypotheses were also tested via hierarchical linear regressions to determine whether tantric sex is uniquely related to relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, intimacy, passion, and commitment, even after statistically controlling for the contributions of a variety of other potentially explanatory variables. In each regression, gender, age, income, sexual orientation, attachment style, and sanctification of sex were included as control variables in the first step of each regression when investigating the associations of interest. In the subsequent 24 steps (e.g., Steps 2, 3, & 4), Sexual Mindfulness, Spiritual Purpose, and Genital/orgasm De- emphasis were entered sequentially.
In the first step of the regression, the only control variable Secure Attachment demonstrated a significant (positive) association with Relationship Satisfaction. Once Sexual
Mindfulness was entered into the regression, Sexual Mindfulness demonstrated a significant and positive association with Relationship Satisfaction as seen in Table 6. Spiritual Purpose was entered in next and showed a significant and negative association with Relationship Satisfaction.
Last, Genital/orgasm De-emphasis showed a significant and positive association with
Relationship Satisfaction.
A hierarchical linear regression was run to determine whether tantra is related to Sexual
Satisfaction. Consistent with prior regressions, Secure Attachment emerged as the only significant predictor in the first step of the analysis. No other control variables were significant.
The Sexual Mindfulness subscale emerged as positively and significantly related to Sexual
Satisfaction. The Spiritual Purpose subscale was not significantly associated with Sexual
Satisfaction. Last, the Genital/orgasm De-emphasis scale was not significantly associated with
Sexual Satisfaction.
Beyond Sexual and Relational Satisfaction, I also tested the associations between the
Tantric Sex Scale and Sternberg’s Triarchic Love Scales (Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment).
Tantra was hypothesized to be associated with Intimacy. Yet again, Secure Attachment emerged as the only significant predictor of Intimacy in the first step of the regression. In all four models of the regression, it maintained a positive association with Intimacy. The Sexual Mindfulness subscale showed to have a significant and positive association with Sternberg’s Intimacy scale.
The Spiritual Purpose subscale emerged as a significant and negative association with 25
Sternberg’s Intimacy scale. The Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale was not significantly associated with Sternberg’s Intimacy scale.
Based on prior works, I also hypothesized that passion would be positively associated with tantric sex. Attachment Style and Sanctification of Sex emerged as the only significant and positively associated control variables with Passion. Once Tantra scales were entered into the regression, Sanctification of Sex was no longer a significant predictor of Passion; however,
Secure Attachment remained as being significant and positively associated with Passion. Sexual
Mindfulness was positively and significantly associated with Passion. Neither Spiritual Purpose or Genital/orgasm De-emphasis emerged as significantly associated with Passion.
Last, Commitment was hypothesized to be associated with tantra. Secure Attachment emerged again as a significant control variable in terms of being positively associated with
Commitment. Sexual Mindfulness demonstrated a significant and positive association with relational Commitment. Spiritual Purpose showed to be significantly and negative associated with Commitment. Last, Genital/orgasm De-emphasis showed no significant association with
Commitment. 26
DISCUSSION
At the outset of the present work, I aimed to develop a new measure of tantric sex, involving three clear subscales: Sexual Mindfulness, Spiritual Purpose, and Physical Techniques.
In service of this aim, a retrospective analysis of a large, cross-sectional dataset was conducted.
Below, I review my findings and discuss the implications, limitations, and future directions related to this research.
Summary of Findings
The primary goal of the present work was to develop and test a measure of tantric sex with a hypothesized three distinct subscales. By and large, the three predicted factors emerged as distinct subscales on the full Tantric Sex Scale (TSS), with Sexual Mindfulness and Spiritual
Purpose clearly emerging, and a variation of Physical Techniques also emerging. Notably, physical techniques, such as eye gazing, did not emerge as a distinct factor. Instead, the obtained third factor contained items indicating a genital focus during sex (e.g., “My orgasm is the most important part of sex”). Given that tantra concerns itself with the sexual experience as a whole, as opposed to focusing heavily on genital pleasure (Richardson, 2003), these items were reverse coded, so that higher scores would indicate more tantric responses. Therefore, a third scale emerged, which was labeled ‘Genital/orgasm De-emphasis’—with higher scores indicating a lesser genital/orgasmic focus during sexual activity. “De-emphasis” can be likened to a de- emphasis of focus on one’s own genitals.
The second hypothesis was that sexual mindfulness, as a facet of tantra, would be related to relational and sexual satisfaction. Across analyses, this hypothesis was generally supported, with greater sexual mindfulness being associated with greater relational and sexual satisfaction.
Furthermore, sexual mindfulness was also positively related to intimacy, passion, and 27
commitment. Finally, the relationships between sexual mindfulness and each aforementioned
variable were held constant even when relevant control variables were present in regression
analyses.
Hypothesis three was that the spiritual purpose component of tantra would be positively
related to relational and sexual satisfaction. The results were partially consistent with this
hypothesis in some regards, while diverging sharply from my hypothesis in others. In correlation
analyses, spiritual purpose was related positively to sexual satisfaction and passion but
negatively related to relational satisfaction, intimacy, and commitment. In regression analyses,
the majority of these outcomes did not persist after the introduction of control variables,
particularly attachment style. However, spiritual purpose was negatively related to relationship
satisfaction, intimacy, and commitment in regression analysis.
The fourth hypothesis was that physical techniques associated with tantra would relate positively to relational and sexual satisfaction. Although, as previously noted, the hypothesized
Physical Techniques subscale of the TSS did not emerge as expected, a distinct Genital/orgasm
De-emphasis scale did. The Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale produced seemingly
contradictory results. Genital/orgasm De-emphasis was related positively with relational
satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, and sexual mindfulness as shown by correlation analysis. In
addition, relationship satisfaction was well-predicted by genital/orgasm De-emphasis in
regression analyses. However, genital/orgasm De-emphasis did not relate to sexual satisfaction
or passion as evidenced by correlation analysis and regression analysis. As this scale emerged
without a-priori hypotheses, I am hesitant in speculating about the meaning of such contradictory
results without future testing. 28
Integration with Extant Literature
Sexual Mindfulness. Empirical research has repeatedly noted that trait mindfulness is very important for both relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction (Pepping, Cronin, Lyons,
& Caldwell, 2018; Imholte, 2018; Greer, 2017; Kozlowski, 2013). With regards to sexual satisfaction, as discussed previously, sex therapy often uses mindfulness as a means to increase arousal (Barker, 2016; Pepping, Cronin, Lyons, & Caldwell, 2018). Furthermore, Khaddouma et al. (2015) and Pepping et al. (2018) found that people who were more mindful during sex had greater general sexual satisfaction. Consistent with such research, the current study’s results indicated that mindfulness is associated with greater sexual satisfaction specifically, which bolsters the claim that sexual mindfulness may be a key component to sexual satisfaction more generally.
Furthermore, the present study found that sexual mindfulness is similarly related to various indicators of relationship satisfaction. Specifically, the present study found links between sexual mindfulness and passion, intimacy, and commitment, which is consistent with prior work
(Giolzetti, 2013) noting that mindfulness more generally is associated with such outcomes.
Collectively, such findings point to the general conclusion that mindfulness, both as a general construct and in domain-specific applications, is generally associated with overall relational health and satisfaction.
The reasons that sexual mindfulness might relate to sexual and relational satisfaction bear discussion. Newcombe & Weaver (2016) found that people who are more mindful during sex derive more satisfaction from their intimate activity; people who are less mindful during sex do not derive as much satisfaction from the encounter. This disparity in satisfaction may be due to 29
mindful participants being particularly attuned to their physical bodies during sexual intercourse
and therefore more aware of their pleasure derived from touch. They experience more pleasure
than their non-mindful counterparts and therefore greater sexual satisfaction.
Furthermore, historically, sex therapists (e.g., Masters & Johnson, 1970) have used
mindfulness techniques to enhance couples’ sexual relationships. Specifically, in such cases,
couples requiring therapy for dysfunctions such as low sexual desire would be encouraged to
focus on touching each other, increasing awareness on sensations of touch, and abstaining from
intercourse and orgasm. In short, clients were instructed to be more mindful of their sexual
encounters, which often resulted in greater satisfaction from such encounters (Masters &
Johnson, 1970). Last, sexual mindfulness may relate to relationship satisfaction because greater
sexual satisfaction can increase relationship satisfaction (Byers, 2005).
Spiritual Purpose. In contrast to the above findings regarding sexual mindfulness, which
were very much in line with prior literature, results related to spirituality seem to differ quite
sharply from past research on religion/spirituality and sexuality. Specifically, sexual spiritual
purpose was linked negatively with relationship satisfaction but positively with sexual
satisfaction. Notably, in correlational analyses, similar results were also observed for the
Sanctification of Sex Scale. Most previous literature has found the opposite to be true—better
relationship quality seems to positively associate with sanctification of sex (Hernandez-Kane &
Mahoney, 2018). People who view sex as a way to develop their spiritual and/or religious life and to help them connect to the universe (both of which are the highest loading items on the spiritual purpose factor) surprisingly tended to be less satisfied with their relationship. It could be the case that people who see their sexual relationships as a means to an end rather than an end in itself tend to have fewer fulfilling relationships. At present, there is no research that exists 30 examining whether or not some people use their partners sexually as a means to enhance their spiritual or religious life. Therefore, it could be that people who actively view their spiritual/religious life as more important than their romantic relationship could lead to less relationship satisfaction. However, given that these findings diverge dramatically from prior research, conclusive interpretations should be avoided. Rather, this points to a very distinct need for future research examining how spirituality and sexuality interact with each other in influencing relationship satisfaction.
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis. It was hypothesized that a “physical technique” subscale would emerge because specific, physical techniques are a part of tantric sex. While the
Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale did not capture specific techniques such as eye gazing, it is nevertheless based on physicality. With Genital/orgasm De-emphasis, some participants focused less than others on their own genitals during sex.
The items of the Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale are clearly related to one another in a face valid manner, which may account for their emergence as a distinct subscale. One’s first impression in interpreting this data may lead one to believe that the specific, tantric physical sexual techniques are not a significant way to produce good outcomes. However, it must be remembered that these participants were not actual tantric practitioners. Studying the effect of the physical techniques may need to be limited to people who are initiates of the formal, religious Tantra or adherents of New Age tantric sex because they have actually been taught and/or practiced the specific physical techniques.
In terms of genital/orgasm De-emphasis, previous researchers have found that focusing less on achieving one’s intense pleasure of orgasm is beneficial for couples’ intimacy (Weiner &
Avery-Clark, 2014). Master and Johnson’s (1970) sensate focused therapy begins with one 31 partner caressing another’s body (avoiding the genitals) while the receiver is mindful of the sensations. This technique has been shown to be effective in increasing felt intimacy between the partners. Engaging in sex without attempting to pursue a pleasurable, climatic end has beneficial effects on the relationship. It is at least plausible that the obtained Genital/orgasm De-emphasis subscale taps into the methods of letting go of the desire to seek personal pleasure/orgasm during sex.
However, until this scale is tested among self-identified tantric sex practitioners, caution should be used in interpreting its utility. While there is some research supporting this scale’s usefulness in determining good relational outcomes, it remains doubtful that participants who score high on Genital/orgasm De-emphasis are practicing actual tantric sex.
Implications
Beyond the aforementioned integration with prior literature, the present results also bear practical, clinical, and theoretical implications. In the present study, the previous descriptions of tantric sex have been at least partially empirically supported. Past literature described tantric sex as involving mindfulness, spiritual purpose, and specific techniques, and speculated that following such practices would improve romantic relationships (Muir & Muir, 1989). Across analyses, the present work provided general support for these ideas, with sexual mindfulness specifically being associated with a wide range of positive outcomes.
There are implications of this research that many people in sexual relationships can apply to their lives. First, it appears to be very important to be mindful of the sexual experience. With regards to key relationship outcomes (e.g., relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction), sexual mindfulness often accounted for very large amounts of variance (e.g., R2 < .200). More simply, sexual mindfulness seems extremely strongly related to sexual and relationship satisfaction. 32
Although the present work is not longitudinal or intervention based, which precludes conclusions about causality, it is accurate to say that people who are sexually mindful are substantially more satisfied with their sexual lives and romantic relationships. In some ways, this makes intuitive sense. People who do not value their sexual relationships may drift off in their attention during sex to countless distractions, which sabotages their sexual encounter, and may ultimately stymie satisfaction in their actual relationships. More to the point, people who are not mindful during sex may simply not appreciate their sexual relationship and relationship as a whole as much as their more mindful counterparts.
From the present results, should everyone implement mindfulness with their sexual partner? It certainly seems that that being more mindful during sex could enhance the sexual relationship and therefore the couples’ relationships more generally. The results concerning sexual mindfulness were convincing enough to assert that inserting more mindfulness into one’s sexual life could improve sexual and therefore relationship satisfaction. Second, and relatedly, letting go of the achievement of orgasm is more important than many people may realize. Last, while some of the results showed that spiritual purpose is associated with poor couple outcomes, the findings should not be interpreted in a pessimistic way. As discussed previously, it may be the case that people who are in a poor romantic relationship are actively using their spirituality simultaneously (indicating high degrees of sexual spirituality). Therefore, people should not hesitate to incorporate spirituality into their sexual lives because of my findings.
There are clinical implications to the study’s results as well. It is important to communicate first the population used for this study was not assessed for clinical problems.
Therefore, it cannot be said with certainty whether people who were clinically impaired had sex in a less tantric manner than their healthier counterparts. Simultaneously, it is possible that more 33
clinically impaired populations (e.g., those seeking sexual therapy or marital therapy for sexual
issues) could benefit from tantric sex practices, a claim that is bolstered by a historical use of
sexual mindfulness in the past to help with problems such as premature ejaculation.
Limitations and Future Directions
There are four main limitations for this study. Primarily, the present study did not
examine self-described tantric practitioners. As such, it is arguable that the present study was not
a study of tantra at all, but rather a study of disparate sexual practices. Given such a limitation, as
noted earlier, a logical next step is to extend this research to people who engage in tantric sex. It
is prudent to find actual tantric practitioners and study them quantitatively like Kruse (2002)
accomplished qualitatively. If one finds good evidence that tantric practitioners benefit in many
ways from the type of sex they practice, then it could be beneficial to teach willing lay people.
Second, the sample was taken from MTurk and therefore may not be generalizable to all
people but may cater to the more inherently curious people. Therefore, if a broader sample was
garnered, the data may be different than what was found currently. A convenient future direction
to proceed into would be to apply the shortened TSS and see if it applies to different populations
outside of MTurk volunteers such as an undergraduate population.
Third, all data was derived via self-report, the limitations of which are well-known
(Chan, 2009). Therefore, participants may not have been completely truthful in the potentially emotionally sensitive questions about their sexuality. Physiological measures for sexual arousal could be added to determine whether participants who are reporting high sexual satisfaction are experiencing greater sexual arousal by their partner.
Last, the research design was cross-sectional. Therefore, causal inferences are ill-advised.
Future longitudinal, interventional, and experimental research is needed to address this 34
limitation. An experimental design could include teaching one group tantra and compare their
relational outcomes to a placebo group.
Beyond these limitations, another future direction is to look deeper into the sexual spiritual
purpose subscale and see if it reliably predicts lower relationship satisfaction, as such a finding
was quite contrary to initial hypotheses.
Conclusions
Tantric sex dates back thousands of years and remains popular in the mainstream culture and ostensibly with actual Tantric, religious initiates and practitioners. It may prove prudent for psychologists to focus on the more contemporary, more popular version of tantric sex because of its accessibility and boasts many significant benefits. This study initiated empirical research on tantric sex and, via factor analysis, correlational analysis, and regression analysis. Through these means, the present work provided initial support for these historical and popular claims. Three factors emerged from the factor analysis: sexual mindfulness, spiritual purpose, and genital/orgasm De-emphasis. Sexual mindfulness was predictive of relationship and sexual satisfaction amongst other good relational outcomes. Curiously, spiritual purpose was negatively related to relationship satisfaction but positively with sexual satisfaction. Genital/orgasm De- emphasis was related positively with relationship satisfaction. In total, researchers should continue to test whether different aspects of tantric sex are beneficial for couples in general and as a specific means of intervention in clinical settings. 35
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APPENDIX A. TABLES
Table 1: Descriptive Statistics for Included Variables
N Range M SD Cronbach’s Alpha Relationship Satisfaction 442 1-5 4.31 0.77 0.89 Sexual Satisfaction 731 1-5 3.77 0.82 0.96 Intimacy 526 1-9 7.70 1.53 0.96 Passion 517 1-9 6.83 1.74 0.92 Sexual Sanctification (NT) 708 1-5 2.54 1.13 0.95 Secure Attachment 723 1-7 4.39 1.78 Tantra Mindfulness 475 1-5 3.94 0.71 0.89 Tantra Spiritual Purpose 469 1-5 2.04 0.84 0.89 Tantra Orgasm/Genital 476 1-5 2.92 0.86 0.77 De-emphasis 47
Table 2: Item Statistics and Factor Loadings for the Tantric Sex Scale
Range M SD Skew Kurtosis F1 F2 F3 1. I try to keep my focus in 1-5 4.09 0.91 -1.02 1.01 .59 the current moment when having sex with my partner. 2. If I think about other 1-5 3.58 1.25 -.61 -0.60 things when having sex with my partner, I bring my mind back to sex. 3. I focus on my partner (as 1-5 4.09 0.98 -1.11 1.02 .61 opposed to other things) while we are having sex. 4. When having sex with 1-5 4.09 0.95 -1.02 0.68 .62 my partner, I feel fully invested in the present moment. 5. It is important to me to be 1-5 4.32 0.91 -1.27 1.67 .64 present with my partner while we are having sex. 6. I value being fully 1-5 4.18 .93 -1.19 1.38 .72 present while having sex with my partner. 7. Being fully aware of the 1-5 3.91 1.03 -1.01 0.65 .61 present moment when having sex is important to me. 8. My mind wanders while I 1-5 2.19 1.23 0.66 -0.73 .54 am having sex with my partner. 9. I think about other things 1-5 2.17 1.20 0.60 -0.81 .50 when having sex with my partner. 10. I pay attention to other 1-5 2.28 1.26 0.58 -0.92 .52 things while I am having sex with my partner. 11. I find that my focus 1-5 2.29 1.26 0.51 -0.98 .54 waivers during sex. 48
12. The worries and 1-5 2.07 1.19 0.73 -0.58 .60 concerns of the day often enter my mind during sex. 13. I think about things 1-5 2.24 1.22 0.49 -0.93 .62 other than sex when being intimate with my partner. 14. I daydream while 1-5 2.16 1.28 0.61 -0.95 .58 having sex with my partner. 15. I try not to think about 1-5 2.22 1.24 0.62 -0.70 .42 what’s happening when having sex. 16. I think about people 1-5 2.00 1.20 0.81 -0.70 .47 other than my partner while having sex with my partner. 17. I use all of my senses 1-5 3.76 1.01 -0.72 0.15 .63 while having sex with my partner. 18. I am aware of all of my 1-5 3.85 0.99 -0.88 0.41 .56 bodily sensations (not just those related to my genitals) when having sex with my partner. 19. I am aware of all of my 1-5 3.77 1.03 -0.64 -0.21 .53 senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch) when having sex with my partner. 20. If I think about other 1-5 3.09 1.27 -0.24 -1.00 things during sex, I bring my mind back to my five senses. 21. I have a general sense of 1-5 4.00 0.91 -1.08 1.36 .61 my body while having sex. 22. My focus during sex is 1-5 2.66 1.19 0.10 -1.01 .48 on my genitals as opposed to my body as a whole. 23. I am very aware of how 1-5 4.18 0.86 -1.24 1.73 .61 my partner’s body feels while we are having sex. 24. I deliberately focus on 1-5 3.86 1.03 -0.83 0.15 .59 my own and my partner’s 49 bodies while we are having sex. 25. I notice that my body 1-5 3.75 1.05 -0.67 -0.28 .45 feels relaxed while I am having sex with my partner. 26. My partner and I like 1-5 3.19 1.08 -0.40 -0.52 having sex at a slow pace. 27. I am aware of my sense 1-5 3.52 1.15 -0.56 -0.43 of smell during sex. 28. I am aware of specific 1-5 3.05 1.25 -0.10 -1.03 tastes (in my mouth) when I am having sex with my partner. 29. I am aware of what I am 1-5 3.91 1.00 -0.92 0.55 .50 hearing during sex. 30. I am aware of what I am 1-5 4.04 0.96 -1.08 1.05 .51 seeing during sex. 31. My focus during sex is 1-5 2.81 1.21 0.02 -1.04 .40 on my genitals as opposed to other parts of my body. 32. I am very aware of how 1-5 4.18 0.91 -1.28 1.77 .60 my partner’s body feels while we are having sex. 33. I do not think that it is 1-5 1.96 1.06 0.83 -0.12 .43 important to feel my body while having sex 34. I do not think that it is 1-5 1.89 1.12 1.04 0.13 .49 important to be aware of how my partner’s body feels while having sex. 35. I am easily distracted 1-5 2.04 1.19 0.79 -0.56 -.42 .56 while I am having sex with my partner. 36. I gaze into my partner's 1-5 3.59 1.20 -0.68 -0.48 .59 eyes as part of sex. 37. I think that it is 1-5 3.28 1.22 -0.35 -0.85 .55 important for my partner and I to gaze into each other's eyes as part of sex. 50
38. I feel a deep sense of 1-5 3.75 1.18 -0.73 -0.42 .67 connection when my partner and I look into each other's eyes while we are having sex. 39. I look at my partner 1-5 3.89 1.09 -0.87 0.09 .64 lovingly while we are having sex. 40. As part of sex, my 1-5 2.31 1.23 0.45 -0.98 .63 partner and I breath in synchrony (when my partner breathes out, I breathe in and when I breathe in, my partner breathes out). 41. I am aware of my 1-5 3.12 1.27 -0.13 -1.09 breathing patterns while having sex with my partner. 42. My partner and I breathe 1-5 2.67 1.27 0.15 -1.09 .50 slowly and intentionally while we are having sex. 43. I focus on my breath 1-5 2.66 1.24 0.11 -1.12 .55 during sex. 44. My partner and I 1-5 2.57 1.26 0.20 -1.22 .40 periodically stop moving completely during intercourse. 45. I caress my partner as 1-5 4.11 0.98 -1.04 0.62 .70 part of the act of having sex (e.g., not just as foreplay or after sex, but during). 46. My partner caresses me 1-5 4.05 1.00 -1.15 1.08 .65 as part of having sex. 47. Touching my partner's 1-5 4.19 0.90 -1.20 1.38 .61 chest (or my partner touching my chest) is part of us having sex. 48. Without my orgasm, sex 1-5 2.50 1.29 0.39 -0.99 .53 is pointless. 49. My orgasm is the most 1-5 2.80 1.21 .049 -1.04 .64 important part of sex. 51
50. Whether or not I have 1-5 2.69 1.30 0.34 -1.02 -.44 an orgasm during sex is not important to me. 51. I think that it is 1-5 3.78 1.15 -0.88 0.04 .53 important to have an orgasm while having sex. 52. I intentionally avoid 1-5 1.78 1.15 1.24 0.25 .50 having an orgasm during sex. 53. (for men) I intentionally 1-5 1.98 1.23 0.85 -0.59 .63 avoid ejaculation in order to conserve my life energy. 54. My partner and I bring 1-5 2.88 1.29 -.034 -1.15 each other to the edge of an orgasm but stay in that state of high energy together. 55. I do not try to have an 1-5 1.80 1.10 1.13 0.12 .55 orgasm during sex. 56. I do not focus on 1-5 2.51 1.17 0.41 -0.65 -.44 orgasms during sex. 57. If I have an orgasm 1-5 4.15 1.03 -1.08 0.34 during sex, I do not try to stop it. 58. My partner and I 1-5 1.48 .973 1.82 2.20 .67 meditate before having sex. 59. My partner and I pray 1-5 1.44 1.00 2.09 3.18 .60 before having sex. 60. My partner and I have a 1-5 1.99 1.24 0.95 -0.38 .60 ritual that we perform before having sex. 61. My partner and I 1-5 3.12 1.27 -0.24 -1.10 describe how we are feeling while we are having sex. 62. I have sex with my 1-5 3.67 1.14 -0.67 -0.32 .50 partner for purposes beyond pleasure. 63. The purpose of sex is 1-5 3.92 1.04 -0.87 0.26 .49 more than just pleasure. 52
64. I have sex with my 1-5 3.89 1.02 -1.07 1.04 .50 partner to improve our relationship. 65. I have sex with my 1-5 4.11 0.97 -1.19 1.16 .60 partner in order to feel closer to him or her. 66. I have sex with my 1-5 4.00 1.00 -1.06 0.83 .64 partner in order to feel united with him or her. 67. I attempt to feel one 1-5 3.82 1.07 -0.93 0.45 .63 with my partner while having sex. 68. I have sex with my 1-5 2.65 1.28 0.13 -1.18 .59 partner in order to increase my energy. 69. After I have sex with 1-5 3.66 1.10 -0.79 0.02 .53 my partner, I feel more attuned to the present moment. 70. After I have sex with 1-5 3.29 1.21 -0.26 -0.97 my partner, I have more energy. 71. I view sex as a way to 1-5 1.84 1.18 1.06 -0.14 .71 develop my spiritual and/or religious life. 72. I have sex with my 1-5 3.35 1.19 -0.52 -0.63 partner to improve my life. 73. I view sex as a way to 1-5 1.93 1.16 0.92 -0.34 .62 awaken Kundalini energy. 74. I have sex with my 1-5 2.49 1.27 0.29 -1.15 .57 partner in order to connect with a transcendent state. 75. I have sex with my 1-5 1.52 1.01 1.89 2.55 .62 partner in order to be closer to God. 76. I have sex to become a 1-5 2.36 1.25 0.42 -0.93 .61 better person. 77. I use sex to become a 1-5 2.30 1.24 0.50 -0.93 .59 kinder person. 53
78.Having sex helps me to 1-5 2.75 1.22 0.05 -1.07 .56 become the person I want to be. 79. The physical part of sex 1-5 2.48 1.13 0.43 -0.62 is the least important part of it. 80. Having sex helps me 1-5 2.51 1.34 0.35 -1.12 .61 connect to the universe. 81. Having sex brings me 1-5 2.67 1.34 0.16 -1.24 .59 into harmony with the universe.
54
Table 3: Item Statistics And Factor Loadings for the Tantric Sex Scale-Shortened
Range M SD Skew Kurtosis F1 F2 F3 ness 1. I value being fully 1-5 4.18 0.93 -1.34 1.94 .79 present while having sex with my partner. 2. I caress my partner as 1-5 4.11 0.98 -1.17 0.99 .72 part of the act of having sex (e.g., not just as foreplay or after sex, but during). 3. When having sex with 1-5 4.09 0.95 -1.12 0.99 .71 my partner, I feel fully invested in the present moment. 4. I am very aware of how 1-5 4.18 0.86 -1.33 2.32 .70 my partner’s body feels while we are having sex. 5. I have a general sense of 1-5 4.00 0.91 -1.15 1.60 .68 my body while having sex. 6. I focus on my partner (as 1-5 4.09 0.98 -1.19 1.21 .68 opposed to other things) while we are having sex. 7. I deliberately focus on 1-5 3.86 1.03 -0.93 0.47 .65 my own and my partner’s bodies while we are having sex. 8. My partner caresses me 1-5 4.05 1.00 -1.18 1.01 .62 as part of having sex. 9. I use all of my senses 1-5 3.76 1.01 -0.81 0.26 .61 while having sex with my partner. 10. Being fully aware of the 1-5 3.91 1.03 -1.08 0.88 .60 present moment when having sex is important to me. 11. I view sex as a way to 1-5 1.84 1.18 1.14 0.06 .72 develop my spiritual and/or religious life. 55
12. Having sex helps me 1-5 2.51 1.34 .314 -1.15 .70 connect to the universe. 13. I have sex to become a 1-5 2.36 1.25 .443 -0.89 .68 better person. 14. I use sex to become a 1-5 2.30 1.24 0.50 -0.92 .68 kinder person. 15. My partner and I 1-5 1.48 0.97 2.00 2.94 .66 meditate before having sex. 16. I have sex with my 1-5 1.52 1.01 1.93 2.68 .66 partner in order to be closer to God. 17. Having sex brings me 1-5 2.67 1.34 0.11 -1.21 .65 into harmony with the universe. 18. My partner and I pray 1-5 1.44 1.00 2.23 3.77 .64 before having sex. 19. I have sex with my 1-5 2.65 1.28 0.16 -1.18 .63 partner in order to increase my energy. 20. I view sex as a way to 1-5 1.93 1.16 0.91 -0.32 .62 awaken Kundalini energy. 21. My orgasm is the most 1-5 2.80 1.21 0.10 -1.04 .75 important part of sex. 22. Without my orgasm, sex 1-5 2.50 1.29 0.46 -0.95 .71 is pointless. 23. I think that it is 1-5 3.78 1.15 -0.88 0.08 .57 important to have an orgasm while having sex. 24. My focus during sex is 1-5 2.66 1.19 .19 -1.01 .53 on my genitals as opposed to my body as a whole. 25. My focus during sex is 1-5 2.81 1.21 0.02 -1.06 .47 on my genitals as opposed to other parts of my body. 56
Table 4: Demographics
Race Sexual Religion Gender Relationship Income Education Orientation status White Heterosexual Catholic Female In a M=50,925 College 74% 88.3% (736) 14% (106) 51.6% relationship per year Graduate (656) (430) 75.9% (640) 43.5% (353) Bisexual Protestant SD=28,909 Black 7% (58) 12.6% (93) Male Some 9% 47.2% college (83) Other Christian: (393) 30.7% (255) 4% (39) unspecified Pacific 12.9% (95) Other High School Islander 1% (10) 11.7% (97) 6% Atheist (57) 19% (140) Community College Other Agnostic 6.61% (55) 10% 21% (152) (90) Masters None 6.2% (52) 9.8% (72) Other Other (2.3%) 10.6% (78)
57
Table 5: Correlations between key variables
F1 F2 F3 RS SS 1. Relationship Satisfaction (RS) .575** -.219** .222** 1 - 2. Sexual Satisfaction (SS) .554** .137** .010 .535** 1 3. (F1) Sexual Mindfulness 1 -.022 .115** - - 4. (F2) Spiritual Purpose -.022 1 -.254** - - 5. (F3) Genital/orgasm De- .115** -.254** 1 .185** - emphasis 6. Sanctification of Sex (NT) .149** .553** -.079* .071 .189** 7. Attachment Style .256** .076* .019 .301** .318** 8. Sternberg Passion .513** .102* .077 9. Sternberg Commitment .502** -.235** .194** 10. Sternberg Intimacy .531** -.148** .167** *p<.01, **p<.001 58
Table 6: Summary of hierarchical regression analysis of variables predicting Relationship Satisfaction
Model 1 Model 2 Model 3 Model 4
Variable β β β β Gender -.065 -.100 -.103 -.107 Age -.004 .033 .014 .025 Income .024 .055 .036 .036 Sexual Orientation -.116 -.087 -.093 -.079 Secure attachment .364** .221* .221* .231* Sanctification of Sex -.020 -.112 .040 .015
Tantra (Mindfulness) Model 2 .541** .525** .518** Tanta (Spiritual Purpose) -.283** -.233* Model 3 Tantra (G/O De-emphasis) .162*
Model 4 R2 .146 .403 .461 .485 ΔR2 .146 0.257 .058 .024 F forΔR2 4.588** 15.451** 16.985** 16.516** *p<.01, **p<.001
59
Table 7: Summary of Hierarchical Regression Analysis of Variables Predicting Sexual Satisfaction
Model 1 Model 2 Model 3 Model 4
Variable β β β β Gender .000 -.015 -.015 -.016 Age -.087 -.042 -.033 -.031 Income .014 .016 .027 .026 Sexual Orientation -.020 -.016 -.010 -.010 Secure attachment .292** .163* .158* .157* Sanctification of Sex .149 .072 .014 .011
Tantra (Sexual Mindfulness) .546** .557** .556** Model 2 Tanta (Spiritual Purpose) .104 .111 Model 3 Tantra (G/O De-emphasis) .023 Model 4 R2 0.128 0.398 0.406 0.406 ΔR2 0.128 0.271 0.008 0.000 F forΔ R2 6.219** 24.039** 21.604** 19.166** *p<.01, **p<.001
60
Table 8: Summary of Hierarchical Regression Analysis of Variables Predicting Intimacy
Model 1 Model 2 Model 3 Model 4
Variable β β β β Gender .089 .057 .049 .048 Age -.060 -.019 -.044 -.033 Income .115 .141 .112 .110 Sexual Orientation -.005 .003 -.005 -.002 Secure attachment .414** .287** .296** .297** Sanctification of Sex .038 -.047 .076 .066
Tantra (Sexual Mindfulness) .486** .467** .460** Model 2 Tanta (Spiritual Purpose) -.242** -.214* Model 3 Tantra (G/O De-emphasis) -.105 Model 4 R2 .193 .402 .445 .454 ΔR2 .193 .209 .043 .009 F forΔ R2 7.901** 18.948** 19.610** 18.006** *p<.01, **p<.001
61
Table 9: Summary of Hierarchical Regression Analysis of Variables Predicting Passion
Model 1 Model 2 Model 3 Model 4
Variable β β β β Gender .033 -.002 -.001 -.002 Age -.036 .008 .010 .018 Income .080 .107 .111 .109 Sexual Orientation -.046 -.038 -.037 -.036 Secure attachment .331** .195* .194* .195* Sanctification of Sex .202* .112 .098 .090
Tantra (Sexual Mindfulness) .522** .524** .520** Model 2 Tanta (Spiritual Purpose) .029 .048 Model 3 Tantra (G/O De-emphasis) .070
Model 4 R2 .175 .416 .417 .421 ΔR2 .175 .241 .001 .004 F forΔ R2 7.017** 20.078** 17.521** 15.784** *p<.01, **p<.001
62
Table 10: Summary of Hierarchical Regression Analysis of Variables Predicting Commitment
Model 1 Model 2 Model 3 Model 4
Variable β β β β Gender .106 .075 .064 .064 Age -.068 -.028 -.059 -.055 Income .135 .160* .123 .122 Sexual Orientation -.048 -.040 -.050 -.049 Secure attachment .384** .259** .270** .270** Sanctification of Sex .047 -.037 .124 .120
Tantra (Sexual Mindfulness) .482** .457** .454** Model 2 Tanta (Spiritual Purpose) -.317** -.305** Model 3 Tantra (G/O De-emphasis) .041
Model 4 R2 .181 .387 .459 .461 ΔR2 .181 .206 .072 .002 F forΔ R2 7.313** 17.769** 20.804** 18.512** *p<.01, **p<.001
63
APPENDIX B. TANTRIC SEX ITEM BANK
Below are a series of statements regarding your attitudes and behaviors before and during sexual intercourse. Please rate your agreement with the statements on a scale of 1 (Strongly Disagree) to
5 (Strongly Agree)
1. I try to keep my focus in the current moment when having sex with my partner
2. If I think about other things when having sex with my partner, I bring my mind back to sex
3. I focus on my partner (as opposed to other things) while we are having sex
4. When having sex with my partner, I feel fully invested in the present moment
5. It is important to me to be present with my partner while we are having sex
6. I value being fully present while having sex with my partner
7. Being fully aware of the present moment when having sex is important to me
8. My mind wanders while I am having sex with my partner
9. I let my mind wander while having sex with my partner
10. I think about other things when having sex with my partner
11. I pay attention to other things while I am having sex with my partner
12. I often feel my mind wandering to different things when having sex with my partner
13. I find that my focus waivers during sex
14. The worries and concerns of the day often enter my mind during sex
15. I think about things other than sex when being intimate with my partner
16. I daydream while having sex with my partner
17. I think about people other than my partner while having sex with my partner
18. I use all of my senses while having sex with my partner
19. I am aware of all of my bodily sensations (not just those related to my genitals) when having sex with my partner 64
20. I am aware of all of my senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch) when having sex with my partner
21. If I think about other things during sex, I bring my mind back to my five senses
22. I have a general sense of my body while having sex
23. My focus during sex is on my genitals as opposed to my body as a whole
24. I am very aware of how my partner’s body feels while we are having sex
25. I deliberately focus on my own and my partner’s bodies while we are having sex
26. I notice that my body feels relaxed while I am having sex with my partner
27. My partner and I like having sex at a slow pace
28. I am aware of my sense of smell during sex
29. I am aware of specific tastes when I am having sex with my partner
30. I am aware of what I am hearing during sex
31. I am aware of what I am seeing during sex
32. My focus during sex is on my genitals as opposed to other parts of my body
33. I am very aware of how my partner’s body feels while we are having sex
34. I do not think that it is important to feel my body while having sex
35. I do not think that it is important to be aware of how my partner’s body feels while having sex
36. I am easily distracted while I am having sex with my partner
37. I gaze into my partner's eyes as part of sex
38. I think that it is important for my partner and I to gaze into each other's eyes as part of sex
39. I tend to look at other things than my partner's eyes while we are having sex
40. I feel a deep sense of connection when my partner and I look into each other's eyes while we are having sex
41. I look at my partner lovingly while we are having sex 65
42. As part of sex, my partner and I breath in synchrony (when my partner breathes out, I breathe in and when I breathe in, my partner breathes out)
43. I am aware of my breathing patterns while having sex with my partner
44. My partner and I breathe slowly and intentionally while we are having sex
45. I focus on my breath during sex
46. My partner and I periodically stop moving completely during intercourse
47. I caress my partner as part of the act of having sex (e.g., not just as foreplay or after sex, but during).
48. My partner caresses me as part of having sex
49. Touching my partner's chest (or my partner touching my chest) is part of us having sex
50. Without my orgasm, sex is pointless
51. My orgasm is the most important part of sex
52. Whether or not I have an orgasm during sex is not important to me
53. I think that it is important to have an orgasm while having sex
54. I intentionally avoid having an orgasm during sex
55. (for men) I intentionally avoid ejaculation in order to conserve my life energy
56. My partner and I bring each other to the edge of an orgasm but stay in that state of high energy together
57. I do not try to have an orgasm during sex
58. I do not focus on orgasms during sex
59. If I have an orgasm during sex, I do not try to stop it
60. My partner and I meditate before having sex
61. My partner and I pray before having sex
62. My partner and I have a ritual that we perform before having sex 66
63. My partner and I describe how we are feeling while we are having sex
64. I have sex with my partner for purposes beyond pleasure
65. The purpose of sex is more than just pleasure
66. I have sex with my partner to improve our relationship
67. I have sex with my partner in order to feel closer to him or her
68. I have sex with my partner in order to feel united with him or her
69. I attempt to feel one with my partner while having sex
70. I have sex with my partner in order to increase my energy
71. After I have sex with my partner, I feel more attuned to the present moment
72. After I have sex with my partner, I have more energy
73. I view sex as a way to develop my spiritual and/or religious life
74. I have sex with my partner to improve my life
75. I view sex as a way to awaken Kundalini energy
76. I have sex with my partner in order to connect with a transcendent state
77. I have sex with my partner in order to be closer to God
78. The physical part of sex is the least important part of it
79. Having sex helps me connect to the universe
80. Having sex brings me into harmony with the universe
81. Having sex helps me to become the person I want to be
67
APPENDIX C. SHORTENED TANTRIC SEX SCALE
Below are a series of statements regarding your attitudes and behaviors before and during sexual intercourse. Please rate your agreement with the statements on a scale of 1 (Strongly Disagree) to
5 (Strongly Agree)
1. I value being fully present while having sex with my partner 2. I caress my partner as part of the act of having sex (e.g., not just as foreplay or after sex, but during)
3. When having sex with my partner, I feel fully invested in the present moment
4. I am very aware of how my partner’s body feels while we are having sex
5. I have a general sense of my body while having sex
6. I focus on my partner (as opposed to other things) while we are having sex
7. I deliberately focus on my own and my partner’s bodies while we are having sex
8. My partner caresses me as part of having sex
9. I use all of my senses while having sex with my partner
10. Being fully aware of the present moment when having sex is important to me
11. I view sex as a way to develop my spiritual and/or religious life
12. Having sex helps me connect to the universe
13. I have sex to become a better person
14. I use sex to become a kinder person
15. My partner and I meditate before having sex
16. I have sex with my partner in order to be closer to God
17. Having sex brings me into harmony with the universe
18. My partner and I pray before having sex
19. I have sex with my partner in order to increase my energy 68
20. I view sex as a way to awaken Kundalini energy
21. My orgasm is the most important part of sex
22. Without my orgasm, sex is pointless
23. I think that it is important to have an orgasm while having sex
24. My focus during sex is on my genitals as opposed to my body as a whole
25. My focus during sex is on my genitals as opposed to other parts of my body
69
APPENDIX D. RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION SCALE
Earlier, you indicated that you are in a romantic relationship. In terms of that relationship, please indicate your response (from 1-low to 5-high) below:
1. How well does your partner meet your needs?
2. In general, how satisfied are you with your relationship?
3. How good is your relationship compared to most?
4. How often do you wish you hadn’t gotten into this relationship?
5. To what extent has your relationship met your original expectations?
6. How much do you love your partner?
7. How many problems are there in your relationship? 70
APPENDIX E. SEXUAL SATISFACTION SCALE
Thinking about your sex life during the last six months, please rate (from 1-Not at all satisfied to
5-Extremely satisfied) your satisfaction with the following aspects:
1. The intensity of my sexual arousal
2. The quality of my orgasms
3. My “letting go” and surrender to sexual pleasure during sex
4. My focus/concentration during sexual activity
5. The way I sexually react to my partner
6. My body’s sexual functioning
7. My emotional opening up in sex
8. My mood after sexual activity
9. The frequency of my orgasms
10. The pleasure I provide to my partner
11. The balance between what I give and receive in sex
12. My partner’s emotional opening up during sex
13. My partner’s initiation of sexual activity
14. My partner’s ability to orgasm
15. My partners surrender to sexual pleasure (“letting go”)
16. The way my partner takes care of my sexual needs
17. My partner’s sexual creativity
18. My partner’s availability
19. The variety of my sexual activities
20. The frequency of my sexual activity 71
APPENDIX F. STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR LOVE SCALE
Earlier, you indicated that you are in a romantic relationship. For the purposes of this questionnaire, please think of that romantic partner when you read "____". How much do you agree with the following items (from 1-Not at all to 9-Extremely)?
1. I feel emotionally close to ____
2. I am willing to share myself and my possessions with ____
3. I have a warm relationship with ____
4. I share deeply personal information about myself with ____
5. I feel that I really understand ____
6. I feel that ____ really understands me
7. I feel that I really can trust ____
8. My relationship with ____ is very romantic
9. I find myself thinking about ____ frequently during the day
10. I idealize ____
11. I adore ____
12. Just seeing ____ is exciting for me
13. My relationship with ____ is passionate
14. I fantasize about ____
15. I am committed to maintain my relationship with ____
16. I expect my love for ____ to last for the rest of my life
17. I view my relationship with ____ as permanent
18. I have confidence in the stability of my relationship with ____
19. I plan to continue in my relationship with ____ 72
20. I view my commitment to ____ as a solid one
21. Even when ____ is hard to deal with, I remain committed to our relationship
73
APPENDIX G. REVISED SANCTIFICATION OF RELATIONAL SEXUALITY SCALE
Earlier, you indicated that you are sexually active. Please indicate (from 1-Stongly disagree to 5
Strongly agree) below how much the following statements apply to sex with your primary sexual partner.
1. Being sexually intimate with my partner feels like a deeply spiritual experience
2. Our sexual relationship seems like a miracle to me
3. Our sexual connection is part of a larger spiritual plan
4. Our sexual bond is sacred
5. Our sexual relationship is holy
6. The sexual bond I have with my partner is sacred to me
7. Our sexual relationship connects us to something greater than ourselves
8. My sexual relationship with my partner reveals the deepest truths of life to me
9. There are moments when we are sexually intimate that time stands still and I feel like I am part of something eternal
10. Our sexual relationship puts me in touch with the deepest mysteries of life
11. At moments, being sexually intimate with my partner makes me very aware of a creative power beyond us
12. God played a role in my decision to have a sexual relationship with my partner
13. Our sexual relationship speaks to the presence of God
14. I experience God through the sexual bond I have with my partner
15. God’s essence is expressed in our sexual relationship
16. Being in a sexual relationship with each other is a reflection of God’s will
17. God has been a guiding force in our sexual relationship 74
18. In mysterious ways, God deepens the sexual intimacy I have with my partner
19. I feel God at work when we express ourselves sexually with each other
20. There are moments when I feel a strong connection with God when I am sexually intimate with my partner
21. I see God’s influence in our sexual relationship
22. God played a role in my decision to have a sexual relationship with my partner
75
APPENDIX H. ATTACHMENT STYLE QUESTIONAIRE
Please rate your agreement (from 1-Strongly disagree to 7-Strongly agree) with each statement.
1. It is easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.
2. I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.
3. I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don’t value me as much as I value them.
4. I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.