MIAMI UNIVERSITY The Graduate School

Certificate for Approving the Dissertation

We hereby approve the Dissertation

of

Hani M. Henry

Candidate for the Degree:

Doctor of Philosophy

______Co-Chair William B. Stiles, PhD

______Co-Chair Mia W. Biran, PhD

______Reader Roger M. Knudson, PhD

______Reader Denise Fox-Barber, PhD

______Graduate School Representative Susan Mosley Howard, PhD

ABSTRACT

LOSS AND MOURNING IN IMMIGRATION: USING THE ASSIMILATION MODEL TO ASSESS CONTINUING BONDS WITH NATIVE CULTURE

by Hani M. Henry

This study used the assimilation model to elaborate the continuing bonds model of mourning. According to the continuing bonds model of mourning, immigrants dealing with the loss of their native culture incorporate elements of this culture (i.e. their families, friends, identity, language, values, and traditions) into their life structure. This model suggests that immigrants need not abandon their emotional attachments to elements of their native cultures; instead, they can benefit from continuing bonds with these elements. These bonds may help them adjust to their new countries, solve problems, and provide solace. The assimilation model, which has previously been used to assess psychotherapeutic progress, was extended to describe a process through which immigrants continue their bonds with their native culture by having an internalized constellation of voices of this culture. These voices are traces of experiences and memories of this culture and are activated or triggered by the immigrant’s cultural artifacts and practices. For immigrants who have not fully assimilated the loss of their native culture, their continuing bonds can provide solace (clinging to the lost culture), or may exacerbate conflict with the host culture, or both. For immigrants who have fully assimilated the loss of native culture, the voices of this culture are linked via meaning bridges with the voices of the host culture and the continuing bonds became resources that are called upon by the immigrant when needed. Seven case studies of immigrants from Spain, Mexico, China, India, Uruguay, Iraq and Somalia illustrated the influences of an immigrant's context (i.e. external events influencing his or her life) and her/his worldview (i.e. perceptual aspects of her/his experience in response to losing the culture) on the assimilation of the lost culture and manifestations of the continuing bonds with it. Some of the interviewed immigrants showed differential assimilation of different elements of the lost culture or regression in the stages of assimilating this loss following stress. Case observations also showed influences of collectivism and individualism on the assimilation and mourning of lost culture and a possible link between mourning of lost culture and models of racial identity development and bicultural competence.

LOSS AND MOURNING IN IMMIGRATION: USING THE ASSIMILATION MODEL TO ASSESS CONTINUING BONDS WITH NATIVE CULTURE

A DISSERTATION

Submitted to the Faculty of

Miami University in partial

fulfillment of the requirements

for the degree of

Doctor of Philosophy

Department of Psychology

by

Hani M. Henry

Miami University

Oxford, Ohio

2006

Dissertation Co-chairs: William B. Stiles, Ph.D. and Mia W. Biran, Ph.D.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

List of Tables...... ……...iii List of Figures...... iv Chapter 1: Introduction……………………………………………………………………………1 Immigration-Related Losses……………………………………………………………….. 4 Immigrants’ Responses to the Loss of their Native Cultures According to Object Relation Theory……………………………………………………………………………………..5 Denial of Loss and its Problematic Consequence ……………………………...... 6 Clinging to Loss (or Prolonged Grief) and its Problematic Consequences ………7 A Better Response to Immigration-Related Loss: Mourning the Loss of Native Culture…..7 The Grief Work Model of Mourning ………………………………………………7 The Continuing Bonds Model of Mourning …………………………………….....8 The Use of the Assimilation Model to Elaborate the Continuing Bonds Model of Mourning……………………………………………………………………………...... 13 Caveat: Loss and Mourning and the Familial Non-European Self………………………... 18 Summary: Continuing Bonds in Acculturation……………………………………………..19 Chapter 2: Design and Purpose…………………………………………………………………20 Method…………………………………………………………………………………..22 Participants…………………………………………………………………………22 Researchers………………………………………………………………………...22 Interview Content…………………………………………………………………..23 Ethical Concerns…………………………………………………………………...24 Procedure…………………………………………………………………………..24 Chapter 3: Results…………………………………………………………………………… ...30 Nancy………………………………………………………………………………….....31 Diego……………………………………………………………………………………..45 Fen………………………………………………………………………………………..57 Andres……………………………………………………………………………………70 Tanu……………………………………………………………………………………...83 Muhammad……………………………………………………………………………....96 Ayan…………………………………………………………………………………….110 Chapter 4: Discussion………………………………………………………………………..124 Political implications of the current study…………………………………………………..137 Relevance of the study to current research on immigration………………………………...139 Validity consideration……………………………………………………………………….144 Personal reflections: Dealing with my own biases during my research journey……………147 Implications for therapeutic intervention with immigrants…………………………………148 Limitations of the current study……………………………………………………………..149 Suggestion for future research………………………………………………………………152 References…………………………………………………………………………………...154 Appendices…………………………………………………………………………………..160

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List of Tables

Table 1 The APES as applied to the Process of Loss and Mourning in Immigration……16

Table 2 Case Summaries………………………………………………………………...121

iii

List of Figures

Figure 1 Setting the ground for understanding: The influence of the immigrants’ context and worldview on loss and mourning in immigration…………………………...….20

Figure 2 The role and function of the continuing bonds based on the APES level…………125

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank God for His unconditional love and for providing numerous blessings. I wish to express my gratitude to my advisor, Dr. William B. Stiles, for his incredible mentorship and guidance throughout my tenure as a graduate student at Miami University and for his wonderful dedication to this research project. I would like to thank Dr. Mia Biran, my dissertation committee co-chair, for her valuable insights and contributions to the current study. I would also like to express my appreciation to my dissertation committee members Drs. Roger Knudson, Susan Mosley Howard, and Denise Fox-Barber for the tremendous expertise and knowledge they offered during the course of this research project. I wish to offer thanks to my research team members: Meredith Glick, James Mosher, and Prashant Banerjee who offered their time and talents in the analysis process of this study. I would also like to express my deep appreciation and gratitude to my research participants who shared their life experiences as immigrants and helped me reach a deeper understanding of the process of loss and mourning in immigration I would like to bow to my parents, Mr. Momtaz Henry and Mrs. Afaf Sadek, for their unwavering support and their unending love; without their strong presence in my life, I could not have succeeded in completing this project. I would also like to express my appreciation to my fiancée, Sally Ramsis, whom I met during the later stages of my study and who offered me immense compassion and support. Finally, I would like to thank my friends Jill Thomas, D’Arcy Reynolds, and Nahree Doh for encouraging and supporting me during my years as a graduate student.

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Your grief for what you have lost holds a mirror up to where you have been bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look and instead, here is the joyful face you have been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expand the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.

Jalaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

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Loss and Mourning in Immigration: Using the Assimilation Model to Asses Continuing Bonds with Native Culture Chapter 1: Introduction The Problem Statement There were approximately 32.5 million foreign-born residents in the USA as of March 2002 (US Census Bureau, 2003). In a population of 282.1 million, the foreign-born amounted to 11.5 percent. 86% of these foreign-born immigrants arrived to the USA from Non Western countries located in Asia, Central America, Africa, The Caribbean, and South America. Immigration may create social and physical security for individuals, may enhance their personal growth, abilities, knowledge, and skills, and may lead to their financial well being (Tartakovsky & Shwartz, 2001). However, immigrants may be dealing with the painful loss of their cultures. Litjmaer (2001) argued that immigration to another land is a complex psychosocial event that involves profound loss with longstanding effects on the individual’s life. This loss may dramatically impoverish the immigrant’s social relationships and the strategies he/she may use to reach middle age goals (Yee, 1989 ). The literature covering individuals’ response to loss in general suggests that it may be healthy for the bereaved (such as immigrants who lost the native culture) to undergo a process of mourning , which is described by Falton (2001) as a process that works towards coping with any loss. This coping helps an individual reach a new understanding of the world so that it matches reality. Falton (2001) also argued that mourning optimizes function and potential by mixing previous experiences with the present reality of loss. Mourning is also a normal and adaptive reaction to loss (Schlesinger, 2001) and a painful experience that one must tolerate to incorporate change and personal growth (Griffin, 2001). Therefore, immigrants who departed their home countries may want to undergo a process of mourning in which they are able to tolerate the painful experiences of losing their cultures. In so doing, they may have better functioning in their host countries and may experience personal growth. The aim of this project was to apply the continuing bonds model of mourning (Silverman & Klass, 1996) to a sample of immigrants. According to this model, through mourning, immigrants incorporate the lost elements of the native culture such as personal identity, families, friends, language, values, and traditions into their life structure. These mental representations are full of life and vigor and continue to inspire immigrants and provide them with solace. The lost

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culture is not abandoned or divested of its emotional attachment; instead, it takes an essential part in the mourner’s experience. As in the case of bereavement, the loss of the immigrants’ native culture does not end a relationship with it; rather, it redefines it in ways that emphasize symbolic interaction (Russac, Steighhner & Canto, 2002). The continuing bonds model of mourning can be explicated and researched in terms of the assimilation model (Stiles et al., 1990), which has been used in examining psychotherapeutic progress. According to the assimilation model, disconnected experiences may be assimilated into one’s thinking and acting (Stiles, 2002). Assimilation of these experiences proceeds along an eight-level sequence described in the Assimilation of Problematic Experience Scale (APES; Stiles, 2002; Stiles et al., 1991). Adaptation of the APES to study acculturation is discussed later. This is not the first study in which the assimilation model was utilized to assess the process of loss. In fact, this model was used to conceptualize and follow the development of themes related to the traumatic loss of an infant child of a Middle Eastern female refugee during her psychoanalytic therapy (Varvin & Stiles 1999). This woman’s loss was part of a series of very stressful situations and was expressed in the form of somatic symptoms, avoidance behaviors, and dreams. This is also not the first study in which the assimilation model was used to assess the influence of assimilating problematic experiences in non-psychotherapeutic contexts. For example, the model was used to investigate the assimilation of childhood sexual abuse of eight mothers on both their parenting styles and the subsequent occurrence of abuse to their children (Salvi, Glick, Gray & Stiles, 2004). The assimilation model was also used to provide a language that described a sequence through which lost elements of the Arab culture were assimilated into the new life structures of Arab immigrants in Europe and North America and helped examine the continuing bonds these immigrants had with their Arabic culture (Henry, Stiles & Biran, 2005). This study focused on the mourning process of predominantly non-European immigrants who constitute 86% of current immigrants in the USA (US Census Bureau, 2003). Non- European individuals may have a collective, interdependent, familial, and relational self that is involved in constant mutual give and take with others (Sue & Sue, 2003). This non-European self may also have porous outer boundaries (Roland, 1988), may be more open to affective exchange with others, and may be more sensitive to the expectations and needs of others

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(Triandis, 1989). This possible nature of the non-European self was taken into consideration in this elaboration of the continuing bonds model of mourning. Definitional Clarification The term assimilation has been used in the immigration literature to denote the immigrant’s full acceptance/idealization of the host culture and total rejection/devaluation of the native culture (Berry, 1991). However, the term assimilation used in assimilation model denotes the process of integrating problematic experiences into one’s thinking and acting (Stiles, 1990; more details below). To make a distinction between these two different uses of the word, the former concept was labeled cultural assimilation ; whereas, the latter concept was simply labeled as assimilation . Why I chose this topic (Personal Fore-structure) In 1992, I decided to emigrate from Egypt to the USA due to religious persecution. Since I made this decision, the loss of my culture has been a major theme in my life. I lost my family, friends, significant relationships, and cultural identity. I also lost many of my traditions and the opportunity to speak in my mother language except when I met Arabic-speaking individuals. I initially went through a phase in which I refused to acknowledge these losses and worked hard to keep myself busy so that I would not deal with the pain associated with my loss. I had also isolated myself from others and was not able to start and maintain new friendships. As years passed, I had a gradual awareness about my cultural losses and responded with a very prolonged grief. I yearned for my lost culture, people, values, traditions, and identity and also experienced a severe acculturation stress. This stress culminated in my devaluation of my host country and idealization of my native one. When I decided to deal with my pain by examining what I lost, I was told that I needed “to go on with my life” and was advised to divest myself of my emotional attachment to my lost culture. This did not relieve my pain, so I decided to read more about mourning and discovered new views about it. I am now inclined to think that the outcome of mourning should not include the divestment of our emotional attachment to our losses. Rather, mourning should include internalizing and identifying with what he lost. When I reclaimed my culture, it provided me with solace in the form of memories. My culture helped me solve my acculturation problems and adjust to the USA. Dealing with the loss of my culture ultimately transformed me and enriched my soul. My transformation served me

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well in my training as a therapist since I constantly use my cultural experiences to inform and guide my clinical work instead of suppressing them. Due to these personal experiences, I brought certain biases to this study and I realized that these biases would shape the way I view and understand the data. That is, my personal biases as well as my theoretical understanding were the starting point of my study. However, being open-minded and reflective about what the data revealed was the best way for me to deal with these biases . I believe that I was not resistant to new ideas or beliefs from my participants; instead, I used their stories to engage with them in a constructive dialogue that helped me develop, refine, and elaborate a theory that describes the process of loss and mourning in immigration. Eventually, my personal investment in this study had become a tool instead of a distraction since it allowed me to be attuned to my participants’ discussions of the process of loss and mourning. Overview of Introduction First, I describe in detail the manifestations of losing one’s culture as a result of immigration, and then, guided by Object Relations Theory and other complementary theories, I describe two problematic responses that immigrants may have: denial of this loss or clinging to it . Next, I discuss the healthy response of mourning and will contrast two of its models: the grief work model and the continuing bonds model. I review literature that offers support for the continuing bonds model, and integrate it with the assimilation model. I also present the design of a qualitative study that examined the continuing bonds model of mourning as it applies to immigration. Finally, I relate these mourning principles to non-European individuals and consider their collective and interdependent self as I develop and refine a theory about loss and mourning in immigration. Immigration-Related Losses Immigrants lose their culture when they move to a new country. For example, they lose their familiar ways of life, familiar people and faces, and identities. Many authors have described the manifestations of losing one’s own culture as a result of immigration. Immigrants lose their values, traditions, native songs, and even familiar food (Akhtar, 1999). Immigrants may also lose social status, significant relationships and in some cases, financial security (Yaglom, 1993). Marlin (1994) argued that immigration involves massive losses of loved elements in the abandoned culture such as the familiar patterns of being and

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relating to people. In addition, immigrants lose the holding functions that their mother countries provided, such as feelings of safety and connectedness to others (Litjmaer, 2001). They give up a “home world” that gave them a sense of security and direction in their lives (Marcus, 2001 ). In addition, a deep sense of loss of self-identity may result from the loss of the mother language (Mirsky, 1999). Learning a new language involves incorporating new values and ideals that may affect the development of one’s identity. Mehta (1998) argued that cultural change and upheaval heightens the risk of disruption in immigrants’ identity development because of the incorporation of new cultural norms. Similarly, Alvarez (1999) indicated that an immigrant’s cultural identity is challenged by frequently used labels such as minority , alien , and immigrant . In response to these tremendous cultural and familial losses, some immigrants may be extremely confused and challenged. Losing many elements of their culture may threaten their sense of security, may prevent them from confidently predicting the world according to their previously held assumptions, and may interfere with their ability to make decisions (Murray, 2001). Immigrants’ Responses to the Loss of their Native Cultures According to Object Relations Theory The response to immigration-related losses can be understood using object relations theory . This theory posits that from the beginning of infancy, individuals have an internal and unconscious world of relationships that is more powerful than the world of interactions with real people (Flanagan, 1996). Therefore, this theory is focused on the internal world of relations between self and others, and the word object denotes a person or other entity that is originally outside the self but becomes a part of the inner world of a person and influences him/her throughout life. According to this theory, there is a process of loss and mourning that is experienced in early childhood when the infant loses his/her symbiosis with the mother and this early experience continues to influence the individual’s psychological development and psychopathology. Also according to this theory, loss occurring in adult life (such as loss of culture that accompanies immigration) may reactivate early childhood experiences of losing complete attachment with the mother, and may induce distress in the individual. Much of the current psychological literature on mourning comes from an object relations perspective, and this literature can provide a deeper understanding of the process of loss and mourning in immigration. However, as will be described later, some non-psychodynamic

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theories, including social learning theory, cognitive behavioral therapy, and archetypal psychology complement object relations theory and concur with its assumptions about loss and mourning. According to object relations theory, immigrants may react negatively to the loss of their culture by 1) denial of or 2) clinging to the lost elements of this culture. These responses can be problematic because: a) They are automatic non-reflective ways of dealing with losing the culture and may prevent immigrants from effectively coping with the pain associated with this process. b) They may prevent immigrants from adjusting to the new country. c) As will be described later, these responses may exacerbate the painful emotional experiences associated with loss. On the other hand, immigrants may react to loss of their native culture through the healthy response of mourning. Within the object relations theory, there are two current views on mourning that provide better alternatives to denial or clinging. These are the grief work model and the continuing bonds model. The former suggests that mourners internalize the lost culture but later detach emotionally from it, and the latter also suggests that the mourners internalize the culture but this internalized lost culture is not abandoned; rather, it provides the mourners with solace and problem solving. Denial of Loss and its Problematic Consequence According to Klein’s (1935) theory of mourning, the bereaved may respond to any form of loss by denial, which is the inability to acknowledge loss and the failure to recognize one’s internal reality and inner injury that resulted from this loss. Accordingly, immigrants may deny the loss of their native culture because of the possible pain that accompanies this process. This is likely to occur to refugees who were forced to leave their countries and endure the deep pain of uprooting and displacement. Hence, denial of losing their culture may eventually protect them from inevitable depression and agony. For example, some refugees from the former Soviet Union worked 16 hours a day as soon as they arrived to the USA and that helped them avoid examining the loss of their culture (Yaglom, 1993). Despite its initial protective function, denial of loss of native culture can be problematic to immigrants. Marlin (1993) suggested that if immigration-related losses are denied, immigrants may have an artificial adjustment to the host country and may denigrate their native culture. Werman (1977) also argued that the failure of acknowledging one’s loss might cause a

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continuing search for the idealized lost object, an inability to love new objects, and a deficiency of loved objects in one’s current life. Further, Alvarez (1999) argued that denial may prevent immigrants from connecting their loss of native culture to possible physical and psychological symptoms they may have. Appendix 1 includes a brief summary of the work of some authors who discussed the process of denial of loss Clinging to Loss (or Prolonged Grief) and its Problematic Consequences According to Bowlby (1994), despair and disorganization may persist in reaction to any loss. He argued that the bereaved remains preoccupied in thought and action with the lost object, not only organizing his life as though it were still recoverable but continuing to weep for it. He also argued that the bereaved display dissatisfaction and ill temper with his friends and himself. Immigrants coping with immigration-associated loss may experience chronic grief reactions. That is, grief resulting from this loss is experienced for a lengthy period without a reduction of the intensity and range of emotions seen during the initial period following it (Rando, 1993). This prolonged grief may paralyze these immigrants and may prevent their adjustment to the new country . They may also cling to and idealize the lost culture while devaluing the new host culture, a process Akhtar (1999) called “ethnocentric withdrawal.” A Better Response to Immigration-Related Loss: Mourning the Loss of Native Culture The current literature on mourning is divided into two major views of what constitute healthy ways of responding to a loss. Russac, Steigner and Canto (2002) described these two views as 1) grief work model and 2) continuing bonds model. The Grief Work Model of Mourning Proponents of the grief work model have argued that mourning culminates in the independence from, and letting go, of our lost objects. For example, Freud (1917) summarized this concept of mourning in three steps: 1) The bereaved identifies with and internalizes the lost object and depression take place as a result. 2) The lost object gradually loses its emotional meaning (i.e. decathected), and the mourner experiences painful detachment from it. 3) Finally, the lost object is totally divested from its emotional investment and energy is left for the mourner to make new relationships. That is, the mourner accepts loss and seeks new attachments by “letting go” of what was lost.

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There seems to be a convergence between Object Relations theorists and some non- psychodynamic theories such as, cognitive behavior theory of therapy and social learning theory, on the grief work model of mourning. For example, Brunhofer (1997) used a cognitive behavioral perspective to argue that the most critical aspect of grief resolution is the ability of the bereaved to freely engage in other relationships without feeling disloyal to the lost loved one. In addition, Raphael (1983) used his understanding of the social learning theory in arguing that behavioral systems linked to the lost person are no longer reinforced and are eventually extinguished if mourning takes place. Applying the grief work model to immigrants dealing with loss of their native culture, Arredondo (1997) argued that immigrants undergo mourning through three stages 1) Immigrants cannot comprehend that they actually left their countries and that they are no longer going to see familiar faces and sites. They also feel out of place and overwhelmed and their enthusiasm about their new country may slowly be tempered by hardships and disappointments. 2) Immigrants may then develop feelings of pain, despair, and disorganization as they become aware of losing their cultures and homesickness may ensue. They may then idealize and long for their old countries and may feel angry as a result of being confused, upset, and lonely. 3) Finally, immigrants may have more hopes and the self becomes reorganized. Immigrants may then start anew , build new relationships, and become more successful. They may also accept their new lives and have a greater sense of identification with their new country. The Continuing Bonds Model of Mourning Other theorists argued that mourning culminates in a continuing bond with what has been lost. This view was a reaction to the grief work theory and its assumption that detachment from the lost objects is needed to reinvest in new relationships (Russac et al. 2002). Instead of “letting go” of lost objects and separating from them, this view of mourning suggests that the bereaved continues to integrate, identifies with, and creates a bond with these objects. These bonds offer solace and resources to the mourner. Also according to this model, there is no need to have an emotional detachment from these lost objects as the grief work model suggests; instead, these losses may continue to influence the mourner’s life. That is, mourning is not a contained, time- limited event that has an obvious beginning and an end point; rather, the lost object is integrated and “becomes part of us” (Murray, 2001, p. 225).

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Object Relations theorists have made clinical observations that support this model of mourning . Etezady (2001) used his clinical experience in psychoanalysis to argue that the dear things we lose become an important part of us that we should never give up. He wrote: “When we lose parents, friends, lovers, teachers, and their memories, we can bear this loss as we build and live in a world of their memories, cherish their legacy, gain solace in reminiscences, and find comfort in treasuring moments. We visit their graves, display their pictures, and wistfully share our remembrances of them of them. They remain part of us sometimes more compellingly after their demise, and become a permanent part of who we are, how we live, and what we dream.” (p. 208) He also suggested that stressing the need for relinquishing the lost object as a final resolution of mourning is an old model that only applies to the developmental task of moving beyond the early infantile period in which the child has, for the first time, to struggle with the loss of total attachment with his/her mother. Based on an eight-year ethnographic study with a local chapter of a self-help group of bereaved parents, Klass (1989) examined the process of mourning of a child by parents . He observed that these parents do not withdraw energy from the relationship with the child. Rather, they transform the inner representation of the child in a way that allows them to maintain the relationship. That is, they have continuing bonds with the child for the rest of their lives. He illustrated his point through a case of a mother who lost her child after being hospitalized for some time before her death. During her hospitalization, the child had blood drawn many times and feared the needle because it hurt her. A few months after the death of that child, the mother had her blood drawn as a part of a routine medical examination she had to take. She said that as they stuck her with the needle, she was very hurt. She had given blood many times in her life but it never hurt her the same way as it did that time. She felt that her daughter was the one who was hurt even though she was dead. It seemed that this mother had maintained her relationship with her daughter, and the daughter had become a part of her-- a part that was getting hurt. Klass was inspired by Volkan (1981), who argued that the basic task of grief is to internalize the inner representation of the dead person. Volkan described two kinds of internalizations of this inner representation: a) identification and b) introjection. Identification is making the inner representation a part of the self in a way that the two are indistinguishable and the ego is enriched. This enriched ego is experienced as the mourner discovers that the spirit of

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the dead is his or her own spirit and finds solace in it. Klass (1989) mentioned an example of a mother who remembered her child by finding fullness and meaning in her life. She said that she would continue to search for ways to bring love and hope in her life as she tried to make use of her own gift of life as her son did. On the other hand, introjection is keeping the inner representation as a frozen entity in the psyche separate from the ego and can be facilitated by the following three elements 1) Linking objects : many parents use a physical artifact that belonged to their child to keep an inner representation of that child for an extended period after his/her death. Klass (1989) talked about a family that kept their child's stuffed orange dog. The mother reported that when she saw that dog, she remembered how her son’s face brightened. She said, “the dog was a crutch for me. I felt that as long as it was near me as I went to sleep each night, so I could reach out and touch it or smell it, that D’s death (her child) was not so final,” (p. 169). This process can be rich in symbolism and may have a cultural meaning by which the mourner can connect his/her personal solace to that which is provided within social reality. A picture of a national monument of an immigrant’s country may have the same comforting effect as this stuffed orange dog did to the mourning parents mentioned above. This cultural artifact may activate the continuing bonds with the native culture, which may in turn provide solace and problem solving to the immigrant 2) Religious faith : some of the thematic memories of the dead and the emotional states connected with the memories are integrated into the religious faith that the parent had previously held. The dead can be made a part of the mourner’s religious life and in turn provides solace to him/her. Klass (1989) discussed the case of a mother who said that when she thought of her dead son in heaven, she felt peaceful. She believed that he encountered angels, saints, and even relatives. She said: “Every time I attend the sacrifice of the Mass, at the part where our Blessed Lord comes into our hearts, I feel so close to your angelic presence…. Please try to send some peace from God to them (relatives) and all of us who miss you so much. (pp.171). 3) Memories : the emotional states attached to these thematic memories may carry the quality of solace for mourners. Klass (1989) reported a case of a woman who wrote about her daughter’s beginning ballet recital 20 years after her death. She said that she had forgotten many things but remembered the feeling that was somewhere between laughter and tears and her sense of admiration for her daughter. Non-psychodynamic theorists have made similar statements about the importance of having continuing bonds with what we lost. For example, from an archetypal psychology

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perspective, Becker (1995) discussed the case of Mari who lost her mother but was able to keep an ongoing imaginal connection with her. Mari reported that her mother had departed only in a physical sense, but she remained present in an imaginal sense. That is, mourning can be understood as an imaginal process where the dead are recognized as active participants in the life of their families and their communities (Becker & Knudson, 2003). Further, the loss of sense of security that was experienced by many social scientists, who also happened to be Holocaust survivors, played a major role in their career choices through its powerful presence (Suedfeld, 2001). This form of loss also helped them in their commitment to the betterment of human community in accordance with justice. Also, Boss (1999) interviewed a wife of a missing pilot who never returned from a mission in Southeast Asia. This woman reported at the end of the interview that her husband visited her twice since he was declared missing in action and was engaged in long conversations with her. Boss (1999) argued that these conversations comforted and reassured that woman and enabled her to make new decisions in her life. Her eagerness for her husband’s symbolic presence challenged the idea that we need to control what was lost and “let it go.” Therefore, if applied to the process of immigration, this model of mourning suggests that immigrants may want to preserve the inner representation of their lost cultures and use them as a source of solace that may help them face the new reality of immigration and solve any problems they may face. That is, if immigrants preserve that which is important from the past such as their culture, history, and significant emotional ties, they may eventually experience a healthy mourning (Alvarez, 1999). Comparison of the Grief Work Model with the Continuing Bonds Model These two views agree that in healthy mourning, one internalizes any loss instead of denying or clinging to it, but they differ in the way they view this internalization. The grief work model posits that the internalization of lost object is a normal process that occurs shortly after the occurrence of loss and represents a desperate attempt to keep the ties with the lost object. This model also suggests that this internalization is later relinquished by the mourner, freeing him/her to pursue new relationships with other objects. On the contrary, the continuing bonds model suggests that these internalizations are not relinquished or abandoned by the mourner; instead, they are sustained throughout life, and continue indefinitely to inspire the mourner and provide him/her with solace, faith, and memories.

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The grief work view on mourning seems to discount the continuing influence of loss on the bereaved since it indicates that internalization of lost object by the mourner happens shortly after such loss but then wanes rapidly. According to this model, this waning can help the mourner “let go” of the lost dear things. However, drawing on his experience as an analyst and supervisor, and using a case example of a woman who continued to experience the loss of a loved one for a prolonged period, Schlesinger (2001) argued that significant loss is never fully expunged and mourning is episodic and is not done once but repeats itself throughout life. Litjamaer (2001) used a clinical example of a nostalgic Argentinean client who was able to deal with her painful separation from her country by internalizing both the good and bad elements of this country and by maintaining ties with it. Litjamaer (2001) argued that her treatment of that client allowed her past, present, and future to join together such that none is renounced but instead has its proper and respectful place. She also explored with the client how her home visits provided her with an emotional refueling. Political Implications of the Grief Work vs. Continuing Bonds Model of Mourning If immigrants operate from a grief work perspective, they may abandon their internalized lost culture and may enforce the melting pot idea of immigration (Smart & Smart, 1995), which advocates all immigrants should converge into one unified American identity and should abandon their old ties to their native countries. However, the melting pot theory is derived from the experiences of mainly White Protestant immigrants from Northern and Western Europe and may be inappropriate for many immigrants from non-European countries, (Smart & Smart, 1995). The continuing bonds model, on the other hand, posits that immigrants need not to renounce their culture; rather, they need to have a continued psychic internalization of it (Litjmaer, 2001). This perspective converges with a multicultural approach in which all cultures live together in harmony with mutual respect of one another (Berry, 1992). Continuing Bonds Model vs. Grief Work Model: Existing Empirical Evidence I found only one empirical study that explicitly compared the grief work and continuing bonds models and yielded mixed results (Russac et al, 2002). In this study, the investigators asked sixty individuals in active grief to complete a questionnaire in which they were asked to rate their grief status, perceived similarity to the deceased, and closeness of relationship to the deceased. A matched control group was also asked to answer similar questions about perceived similarity and closeness. In line with a grief work model, the severity of grief state was directly

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proportional to perceived similarity with the deceased, and perceived closeness of relationship declined over time. However, in support of continuing bonds, perceived similarity did not decline over time, nor was the overall perception of similarity among grievers different from their matched control. As a result of these mixed findings, Russac et al. (2002) argued for a paradigm shift that could integrate the two views. However, it should be noted that this study had several weaknesses as follows: 1) few of the participants reported experiencing overwhelming grief. 2) The sample was relatively young and small. 3) Researchers used a single self-report item to assess closeness with the deceased and they questioned the validity of this item. The Use of the Assimilation Model to Elaborate the Continuing Bonds Model of Mourning The assimilation model (Stiles et al. 1990) provided a language and a framework with which I was able to 1) examine the initial responses to immigrants' loss of their culture and 2) elaborate a theory about loss and mourning in immigration consistent with the continuing bonds model. I will briefly describe the assimilation model and will then explain its relevance to the continuing bonds model of mourning. According to the assimilation model (Stiles et al, 1990), a common change process in psychotherapy is the assimilation of problematic experiences (memories, wishes, thoughts, intentions, or activities that are painful or threatening to the client) into the clients’ usual repertoire of thinking and acting. Honos-Webb & Stiles (1998) described problematic experiences as active agents that have voices and hence can act and speak. Unassimilated voices tend to be problems; whereas, assimilated voices can be resources that are available to be used by the clients. Stiles et al., (1991) suggested that assimilation proceeds along an eight-level sequence described in the Assimilation of Problematic Experience Scale (APES). The sequence includes: 0) warded off / dissociated 1) Unwanted thoughts/Active avoidance 2) vague awareness or emergence 3) problem statement and clarification 4) understanding or insight 5)Application/ working through 6) Resourcefulness/ problem solution 7) Integration/mastery ( please see Table 1). Hence, the clients follow a regular developmental sequence of recognizing, reformulating, understanding, and eventually resolving the problematic experiences that brought them into treatment. The assimilation model was extended in this study beyond its focus on the therapy process to examine the experiences of loss related to immigration. Immigrants were assumed to have two disparate constellations of internal voices: the voices of the native culture and the

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voices of the host culture. The voice metaphor describes traces of experience, which are presumed to be active agents in the assimilation model. An experience is described by the assimilation model as a perception, intention, impulse, attitude, wish, fantasy, or idea. A problematic experience is one that causes psychological discomfort when brought to awareness or put into action (Stiles, 2002). By definition immigrants have had experiences or inner voices of two cultures. Such different constellations of experiences may be regarded as mutually unassimilated, at least initially. Each cultural constellation may tend to be problematic to the other and encounters between them may be psychologically painful (e.g., loneliness, fear, alienation, or self-disgust, depending on the nature of the encounter). I used the assimilation model to investigate these two constellations of internal cultural voices and examined the extent to which they were linked via meaning bridges and whether they were engaged in a cultural dialogue. Most importantly, the use of the assimilation model in examining this study’s cases clarified and elaborated the concept of the continuing bonds with the native culture. Klass (1989) argued that mourners internalize their lost objects and have continuing bonds with them. As mentioned earlier, these bonds provide the mourner with solace and maintain a relationship with the lost objects through memories, faith, and linking objects. The assimilation model describes this process of internalization in detail. It suggests that the immigrant maintains his/her bonds with the native culture in the form of an internalized constellation of voices of this culture. These voices represent traces of experiences and memories of this culture’s values, traditions, and people and are activated or triggered by signs or linking objects such as cultural artifacts, native art, physical beauty, language, proverbs, songs, food, and cultural and religious practices. Adapting the APES to Study Immigration The eight stages of the Assimilation of Problematic Experience Scale (APES) were adapted for this study to describe the stages of loss and mourning in immigration. I started with a revised version of the APES stages that represented my initial understanding of the stages used in psychotherapy cases as they might be applied to the process of loss and mourning in immigration. Based on the observations in this study, this revised version was modified and a further version was produced as shown in Table 1. Many of the elements of each stage initially described were kept intact; however, new revisions were added to incorporate the new observations, especially those related to the continuing bonds with the lost culture. The revisions/

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modifications that proceeded from this study's observations are described in detail in the discussion section.

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Table 1: The APES as applied to the Process of Loss and Mourning in Immigration APES Stage Immigrant’s Response

Stage 0 The immigrant wards off the loss of native culture and is dissociated from Warded this loss. Two possibilities may exist: off/dissociated A. Denial of the influence of loss of native culture in the immigrant’s life may occur. This is manifested by conformity to the host culture and marginalization of the native one. The voices of the native culture are not assimilated into the immigrant's experience. However, the person’s denial of the native culture may also alternate with clinging to it. In such case, these native cultural voices may provide solace to the immigrant. B. Clinging to the lost culture may take place. This is manifested by separation (sometimes devaluation of) from the host culture and idealization of the native culture. The continuing bonds may provide solace to the immigrant, and that may prompt him/her to escape from, and avoid the host culture

Stage 1 As soon as the immigrant is exposed to feelings/thoughts related to the loss Unwanted of native culture, he/she becomes uncomfortable and may try to repress thoughts/Active them. When the immigrant is occasionally exposed to racism and avoidance xenophobia, he/she may start to examine his/her relationship with the host culture. However, there is also a fear of losing control (Honos-Webb et al, 1999). That is, the immigrant is afraid of dealing with the loss of native culture and worries about this negative and painful experience. Affect is intensely negative but episodic and unfocused; he/she does not understand why the reminders of the native culture create such intense emotions. During this stage, the immigrant continues to deny or cling, and the voices of one culture still dominate those of the other (i.e. voices of host culture dominate in case of denial and those of native culture dominate in case of clinging). The continuing bonds with native culture continue to provide solace in the case of clinging.

Stage 2 Immigrant may now be aware of the pain resulting from loss, [but cannot Vague link this pain with loss?]. Pain is acute and feels unavoidable. The Awareness/Emergence connection between the native and host cultures is episodic and they remain psychologically separate, rather than integrated. In other words, the immigrant is still unable to examine the loss of native culture and may experience acculturation stress and blame his/her pain on the new country. Solace from the continuing bonds may help the immigrant ameliorate that immense pain.

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Modified APES (contd.)

Voices of native culture (in case of denial) or host culture (in case of Stage 3 clinging) may emerge and may gradually assert and differentiate themselves Problem statement/ from each other. They may also contradict each other and the immigrant Clarification may experience turmoil. For example, an immigrant may feel torn about a cultural practice that is considered unacceptable or frowned upon in the new country (e.g. cousin marriage, polygamy, physical discipline of children, staying single, etc). Whether the immigrant clings to the lost culture or denies its loss, he/she may recognize that there is an alternative position (i.e. integration of the host and native cultures), and this realization may be problematic. The continuing bonds may continue to provide solace that is associated with clinging but it may also exacerbate this conflict. Affect is manageable but not panicky.

Stages 4 An understanding between the two cultural voices takes place and a Understanding/ meaning bridge between them is constructed. The immigrant may proudly Insight exhibit native cultural values instead of dissociating from them (in case of denial). Alternatively, the immigrant may integrate the host cultural voices instead of blocking them (in case of clinging). When the voices are assimilated to each other, the continuing bonds are manifested as resources that can be called upon as needed. Affect may be mixed with unpleasant recognition, but also some pleasant surprise.

The continuing bonds may now provide solutions for possible acculturation Stage 5 problems after meaning bridges were constructed between the voices of the Application/Working lost culture and those of the host A meaningful inner cultural dialogue takes through place. The immigrant feels enriched by this dialogue and functions better as a result. This assimilated lost culture may link the immigrant to his/her past and may provide him/her with memories and faith. Affective tone is positive and optimistic.

The immigrant is proud of the continuing bonds with his/her culture to the Stage 6 extent that he/she is secure in own cultural identity and may now transmit Resourcefulness/ useful cultural values to the new country. For example, an immigrant’s Problem solution cultural belief that the family is the most important social unit may lead him/her to be a staunch advocate of family programs in his/her town. This may then allow him /her to contribute to the welfare of its citizens

Stage 7 The native culture and the host culture are totally assimilated into each Integration/Mastery other. The cultural repertoire of the immigrant may expand as he/she develops a transcendent identity that contains elements from both host and native culture but is not limited by them.

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Thus, the assimilation model, which has previously been used to assess psychotherapeutic progress, can provide a language for articulating the continuing bonds model of mourning by describing a sequence through which traces of experiences of the lost culture are assimilated into the immigrant’s life structure and eventually offer solutions to possible problems that are associated with immigration. The continuing bonds model of mourning converges with all APES stages (0-7) since it incorporates the initiation of a dialogue and the building of a meaning bridge between the old and the new cultures. On the other hand, the grief work model of mourning only converges with APES stages 0- 3 since it does not address the need for an inner dialogue or a meaning bridge between the old and new cultures. Rather, the grief work model suggests that mourning includes warding off the voices of lost culture after a transient stage of acknowledging them. Caveat: Loss and Mourning and the Familial Non-European Self The current literature on non-Europeans has shown that the majority of these individuals come from collectivistic societies. Contrary to the Western European self, which values independence, autonomy, self-reliance, self-discovery, self-sufficiency, and individuality, the non-European self gives more priority to interdependence, collectivism, communalism, and growth through joining with others (Sue & Sue, 2003). This self may have porous outer ego boundaries (Roland, 1988), may be more open to affective exchange with others, and may be more sensitive to the expectations and needs of others (Triandis, 1989). Object relations theory is laden with Western values such as the importance of individuation and separation (i.e. individualism), autonomy, independence, self-sufficiency, and self-reliance. The developmental end-goal for an individual, according to this theory, is to have an autonomous, integrated, and independent ego that can help the individual function separately from others (Aron, 1996). In addition, this theory posits that healthy individuals should develop a clear distinction between their inner representation of self and others (Roland, 1988). This direction of the theory contradicts many aspects of the concept of the Non-European self. However, and despite its cultural limitation, many elements of this theory can be readily applied on non-European individuals, such as the theory’s focus on the inner world of individuals, which can help us understand the inner process of loss and mourning associated with immigration.

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Another consideration of the non-European self is related to the assimilation model. This model has been scarcely applied to individuals from non-European countries in a psychotherapy setting (for an exception, see Varvin & Stiles, 1999). Because of their collective self, non- European immigrants assimilating the loss of their native culture may undergo this process not only solitarily but also through joining with others. Significant others may be an integral part of the mourning process of a non-European immigrant and a process of collective assimilation of lost culture with his or her new family, friends, or group may take place. Hermans (1996) elaborated this point by proposing a dialogical view of the self that gives proper attention to the simultaneous existence of individual and collective voices. He argued that in a process of negotiation between personal and collective positions, new thoughts, stories, and ideals may emerge that return not only to the personal part of the self but also to the collectivity in which the self participates. Appendix 1 includes a brief summary of the work of some authors who discussed this non- European self. Summary: Continuing Bonds in Acculturation The continuing bonds model of mourning describes a process with which the immigrant keeps his/her emotional attachments to their lost culture. This attachment is represented by the internalization of lost families, friends, language, identity, and values. The internalized lost culture may then provide immigrants with solace, memories, and faith. The assimilation model (Stiles et. al., 1990; Stiles 2002) provides a language that describes a process of response to loss of culture and elaborates the continuing bonds model of mourning in immigration. According to the assimilation model, the native culture is internalized in the form of a constellation of voices or experiences of this culture. These voices are triggered by signs such as cultural artifacts. They may also be engaged in a dialogue with the voices/experiences of the host culture through the meaning bridges that are constructed upon full assimilation of loss. An element of this conceptualization of mourning is the consideration of the non-European self in examining the process of loss and mourning in immigration. This self is familial, collective, interdependent, and relational.

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Chapter 2: Design and Purpose This descriptive research examined the process of loss and mourning associated with immigration. Interviews were conducted with mainly non-European immigrants from Mexico, Uruguay, China, India, Somalia, Spain, and Iraq to investigate their responses to losing their native culture. I used the assimilation model to trace the experiences of loss associated with immigration and to examine the continuing bonds model of mourning. In seven case studies, I compared my observations of my participants with the elaborated continuing bonds model of mourning. I investigated many stories about immigration-related loss and the immigrants’ continuing bonds with these losses in my effort to elaborate a theory about loss and mourning in immigration. In each case study, I examined the influences of each participant’s context and worldview on their loss and mourning associated with immigration. As shown in Figure 1, the immigrant’s context denotes external events that influence the immigrants’ lives such as: reasons behind immigration, the ability to access home country, the presence or absence of a support system/significant others, the political climate of the new country (i.e. immigrant's appraisal of the American political/government/societal system with its positives and negatives), their professional context, and the nature of the city/town in which they are located. The immigrant’s worldview denotes the immigrant’s perceptual aspects of his/her experience in response to the reality of loss. This includes how she/he perceives loss, responds to it, perceives both host and native culture in light of the new reality of immigration, and whether he/she initiates a dialogue between the 2 cultures. Worldview also includes the immigrant’s characteristics, dream life, and self-construal (i.e. individualistic/collectivistic). The elements of context and worldview gave me a standard list of subheadings for organizing my presentation of the cases. My use of each subheading in each case depended on the information available.

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Figure 1: Setting the ground for understanding: The influence of the immigrants’ context and worldview on loss and mourning in immigration

Political Perception Perception Climate Geogra- of of native phical American culture location culture Professi Collectiv on/Job Context Circum- Inner Worldview ism/indiv stances Dialogue idualism Signifi Access Perception -cant Response others to home of loss Dreams country to loss

These two dimensions, context and worldview, were adapted from Liu’s (2000) theory of classism. According to this theory, understanding therapy clients who struggle with the problematic experience of classism necessitates the understanding of two major components that influence their lives. The first is their schematic social class worldview, which includes their attitudes (e.g. how they see the world), their life style (e.g. how their time is spent), behaviors (e.g. table manners, proper speaking), and socialization (e.g. perceptions of individuals they want to emulate). The second is their economic context, which includes capital accumulation. This capital has three forms: 1) human capital such as physical abilities, 2) social capital such as the availability of relationships, and 3) cultural capital such as tastes and aesthetics. In retrospect, I can see that the dimensions of context and worldview were also central to many discussions that took place in preparation for the study, such as one that took place during the dissertation proposal meeting held at Miami University and others that occurred during two psychotherapy conferences in which I presented this study. Many discussants alerted me to the importance of considering contextual factors such as the professions of my interviewees and the

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political climate of the USA. Others urged me to consider issues related to the immigrant’s worldview such as dreams and unique responses to that loss. Method Participants Four male and three female immigrants were interviewed. Most of their countries of origin were Non-European, including Mexico, Uruguay, India, Somalia, Iraq, and China. One participant came from Spain. The ages ranged from 30 to 55 years old. Their lengths of stay in the USA ranged from 8 to 25 years. They were permanent residents of the USA or American citizens. Three participants were college professors. The sample also included a graduate student, a small business owner, a nurse, and a taxi driver. Before conducting the interviews, I ensured that participants met the following criteria: 1) they were not temporarily residing in the USA; instead, they had taken permanent steps to reside in the USA . 2) I chose to investigate the process of loss and mourning in adults so I exclusively interviewed adult immigrants. 3) I sought to interview mainly immigrants from non-European countries since they constitute the majority of the current immigrants in the USA. Some interviewees were not as fluent and reflective as others. This might have resulted from cultural prohibitions against self-disclosure to strangers and fear of exposing “family secrets.” Nevertheless, all provided important information about the process of loss, so I decided to present each case with no exception. Researchers I personally conducted and transcribed all the interviews. I conducted one interview with an Iraqi man in Arabic and translated it to English; the other six interviews were conducted in English. Three male clinical psychology graduate students, including myself, analyzed the first four of the transcribed interviews. They were introduced to the main theory of this study and were familiarized with the protocol of analysis (see below). They were asked to maintain their openness and flexibility in interpreting the data and address issues of validity that will be discussed below. Halfway through the analysis and after analyzing four of seven interviews, one of the researchers decided to end his participation due to time constraints and commitment to other work. He was replaced by an advanced female graduate student who had had considerable experience working with the assimilation model. The transition was smooth and added a valuable feminine perspective to the analysis (see discussion of researchers’ gender bias below).

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Interview Content I raised these questions during the interviews: 1. Why did you decide to come to America? 2. What did you leave behind in your old country when you came to America? I focused on what they identified as losses, one by one, and asked open questions that allowed the interviewee to talk about these losses (e.g., lost language, identity, values, and people). This was a way for me to assess the different voices of the lost culture. 3. Remember your first few months in America. What was your experience like? Tell me how was it for you to be a new immigrant? 4. Tell me how was it for you to lose these things? How did you deal with that? 5. How were things different here than they were in the old country, and how did you deal with that? 6. Tell me about those who are close to you. 7. What were their roles in your life? 8. I also asked all participants about their dreams. According to Hillman (1975), the dream is the best model of the psyche because it shows various styles of consciousness co-present in one scene. Dreams showed the multiple voices within the immigrant psyche and help in the process of their assimilation (see below) . 9. I asked them about their religious lives and whether a change in their religiosity occurred or not. 10. I also asked the participants about their conditions in America. How they are defined by society and how they are perceived by natives? 11. I asked them about their cultural identity and their new American identity. How did they experience new labels such as aliens, minority and immigrants? I asked them how they defined or saw themselves in the USA. 12. I also asked them about whether their perceptions of people and life in their home countries have changed or not. I asked them the opposite question: whether others in their home countries see them differently. I also asked them whether they maintained ties with their countries. Original APES The eight stages of the original Assimilation of Problematic Experiences Scale (APES; Stiles, 2002; Stiles et al., 1991) were modified to explain the process of loss and mourning associated

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with immigration. Researchers used stage descriptors (worded according to my initial understanding of the assimilation model) to guide them in deciding the APES stage of each participant. However, their understanding of the stage descriptors was gradually modified to incorporate new case observations. The product of these changes is shown in Table 1 in the introduction section. Ethical Concerns Procedures were reviewed and approved by the Miami University Psychology Department Review Board. A consent form (See Appendix 2) was prepared for the study and was given to each participant to sign. This form included a brief description of the study, the interview procedure, information about payments, permission to tape the interviews, and contact numbers for the interviewer, his supervisor, and the Office for the Advancement of Scholarship and Teaching at Miami University. The interviewees also received copies of this form for their records. I was cognizant that direct interviews may evoke sad feelings for my participants since they were invited to talk about the sensitive issue of loss. I told each one of them that we could stop the interview at any time. I also prepared a list of local therapists and planned to provide them with it if they needed to talk to someone, beside me, after this discussion. Only in the case of an Iraqi participant (see below), the interview brought back strong memories of his home country and we were able to process his painful feelings about them. It was crucial for me not to define or label these participants according to their loss; instead, my goal was to consider loss as one experience among the numerous experiences they were having at the time of the interview. Procedure Recruiting participants . Four participants were recruited from Miami University. The International Affairs Department at Miami University agreed to send, on my behalf, an invitation to faculty and staff members who obtained their permanent US immigration status through the university. In my letter, I indicated that I was conducting a study on immigrants and that I was interested in their lives and the personal changes they might have experienced as a result of immigration. I wrote that I wanted to learn how they dealt with departing their home country and if this experience had influenced them. I also wrote that their experiences might help me in my practice as a therapist and might also help me educate my colleagues about certain aspects of immigrants’ lives. Six individuals responded, and I chose four to allow for the diversity of the

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sample. Two of the four participants were females (from Spain and China) and two were males (from Mexico and Uruguay). All four interviews were conducted at the Miami University Psychology Clinic inside its confidential offices. The other three participants were not affiliated with Miami University. I posted an advertisement flyer of my study in a local Laundromat and received a single response from a female immigrant from India. The interview with her was conducted at the Miami University Psychology Clinic. I also placed a flyer in an international food store and the store owner, originally from Iraq, agreed to be interviewed. The interview with him was conducted in a quiet place inside his store in Dayton, Ohio. Finally, I went to a Taxi parking lot at Dayton airport and asked different taxi drivers if they would like to be interviewed about their immigration experiences. A Taxi driver from Somalia expressed interest in doing that and I conducted the interview with him the next day inside his taxi at the Dayton Mall parking lot. I gave each participant $30 in compensation for his or her participation. Checks were issued by Miami University to the four participants who were affiliated with it. Cash money was given to the rest of the participants. Interview process. Each interview took approximately 90 minutes with a 5-minute break in the middle. The only exception was one interview that lasted 70 minutes. I did not have to do more than one interview with any participant since my research team did not request any follow- up interviews. I conducted the interviews in locations where the participants could feel safe and uninterrupted. I did not take notes during the interviews because I wanted to be immersed in their experiences. Taking notes could have also conveyed to them my authority and could have made them cautious and unable to disclose. Accordingly, I recorded the interviews on audio-tapes and then transcribed them. During the interviewing, I tried to avoid questions like “do you not think that mourning is important?” or “do you not think you lost a lot?” or is it not the case that losses are to be detached?” I assured my participants that my main purpose was to learn from them. I attempted to be sensitive to possible pain accompanying the loss of things that are dear to their hearts. I assured them that their identities will remain anonymous but also informed them that what they shared with me would not be kept confidential and might be published at one point. The format and questions of this study were changed as my participants illuminated new issues and factors that influenced their responses to loss. I kept a journal of my thoughts that

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included notes about these factors. As I wrote what I discovered during this process and as I learned more, I started to ask new questions . For example, my participants helped me expand my view about loss by incorporating the issues of choice, and as a result, I started to ask them about this issue. I also learned to modify my questions with some participants, who could not think in abstract terms, by concretizing my questions for them. For example, when asked whether she thought of her native culture when she was alone, a participant said that she did not think about it because she was busy. At his point, I had to be more concrete in my questions and ask her about her memories and her religious practices. I attempted to make the interviews as safe as possible. I monitored my feedback, verbal or non-verbal, and avoided leading my participants in. For example, I did not reinforce any discussion about assimilation of loss more than I did so when the discussion involved detachment and dissociation from it. I also attempted to be sensitive to the role of immigrants’ cultural beliefs, especially those who came from non-European countries, regarding mental health and how these beliefs might have affected their definitions of mourning and coping with loss. After conducting the interviews, I took the following steps in transcribing them: First, I listened to each interview. Next, I transcribed it word by word. Finally, I played each taped interview twice and revised my transcription each time noting words that I missed or misheard. When I could not understand a word or a sentence, I listened to it many times. If I still could not understand it, I indicated that it was “inaudible.” I also gave each utterance of my interviewee or myself a speaking turn number. Researchers’ training. For training purposes, we used translated broadcast transcripts of interviews aired at Al Jazeera TV with Arab immigrants in Europe and North America (Al- Jazeera, 2004). Al-Jazeera TV is an Arabic satellite channel based in Qatar and is watched by millions of Arab immigrants all over the globe. This channel has gained worldwide attention during the recent years, especially after its coverage of the war in Iraq. A weekly program was aired in this channel about Arab immigrants living in different parts of the world especially in Europe and North America and included interviews with them that focused on their success stories. Among the interviewees were professional Arab immigrants who worked as physicians, engineers, academicians, and businesspersons. I translated some of these broadcast transcripts verbatim into English and I used them in an initial study to investigate the continuing bonds

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model of mourning (Henry, Stiles & Biran, 2005). We used an assimilation analysis protocol (see below) in analyzing six cases to practice our rating skills and used it to give ratings to these cases. We then discussed their ratings of each case until we eventually converged on them. After gaining confidence in our ability to use the assimilation procedure, we decided to start analyzing the actual interview transcripts. Analysis of interview transcripts. We used the following principles: 1) We used a multiple case approach (Rosenwald, 1988). That is, we used different cases/interviews to reveal the inner structure of the social phenomenon of loss and mourning in immigration. 2) Our interpretation was tentative and not law-like (Stiles, 1993). Our goal was to develop a theoretical understanding of the process of loss and mourning using the continuing bonds model and the assimilation model. 3) We used the assimilation model as a road map to assess the level of assimilation of the lost native culture and to get information about possible continuing bonds my interviewees might have had with their lost cultures. 4) We used multiple iterations (Stiles, 1993). That is, we read our data, conceptualized it, reread it and re-conceptualized it. Our interpretations gradually changed and evolved as they become infused with observations. I developed a protocol for the qualitative analysis of the assimilation of immigration- related loss during the preparation phase of this study. This protocol was adapted from a qualitative research procedure previously used to analyze psychotherapy sessions (Stiles & Angus, 2001). After I conducted the interviews, I modified the protocol to incorporate the observations I made during successive interviews. For example, my first interviewee introduced me to many issues such as one’s own unique definition of loss and speed of mourning. Accordingly, I asked my research researchers to consider these issues as they analyzed the interviews. The full protocol is included in Appendix 3. Briefly, it included the following 4 steps: 1) Familiarization and indexing: Researchers were asked to immerse themselves in reading the transcripts. They were also asked to take notes about the participants’ thoughts and feelings regarding leaving their home countries and their characterization of both the old and new cultures.

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2) Identifying themes related to loss and mourning : Researchers were asked to assess participants’ possible cultural losses, their perceptions of these losses, and how they dealt with these losses. Researchers were specifically asked to identify the voices and the experiences of both native and host cultures in these individuals and possible relationship between them. For example, are these cultural voices incompatible or harmonious? They were also asked to pay attention to issues related to collectivism/individualism, role of significant others and any other mediating factors that may help influenced their perception of loss of native culture. They were also asked to identify new themes as they read the transcripts. 3) Selecting passages: Researchers were asked to pick passages that provide evidence for their conceptualization. 4) Describing the process of assimilation: Researchers were then asked to give an APES stage rating to each interviewee using the evidence they gleaned from the transcripts and guided by different stage descriptors. They were also asked to provide a summary of their conceptualization. For each case, we worked toward a consensus on the APES rating using an iterative procedure that was adapted from one originally developed by Ward (1987) for the group design of architectural projects. This method was also used in studies done by Osatuke et al. (2005) and Stiles et al. (1997). Iterative consensus procedure . In round 1, after working independently, each researcher was asked to write an initial draft based on the requirements of the protocol. I did not specify a structure for these drafts; however, I required that researchers follow the 4 steps of assimilation analysis described above, and cover its three major elements (context, worldview, and assimilation conceptualization). Accordingly, researchers prepared their drafts in varied ways. For example, I structured my own drafts to include immigrant’s context, worldview, and assimilation summary. Two researchers structured their drafts by following the steps of the assimilation analysis protocol. Another researcher provided a qualitative description of each case with an assimilation summary/case conceptualization that included the three elements specified above. I preferred not to enforce a specific structure on my colleagues so as to allow for their creativity in generating original observations that could be used in refining the theory of loss and mourning. This strategy was fruitful and the lack of restrictions allowed us to make many

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discoveries, for example, we observed irregularities of the assimilation process and regression in the assimilation stages (see below for more details). These drafts were then circulated via emails in advance of the first group discussion. A period of one week was given for each researcher to read each other's drafts. During the first group discussion of each case, each researcher listed strengths of other researchers' conceptualizations/drafts. Rules for this discussion prohibited criticisms or attempts to convince each other since preserving differences in researchers' techniques could allow for a range of conceptualizations of the experiences of loss. However, there was an open discussion on why researchers decided on their particular rating. At the end of this discussion, researchers exchanged the lists of strengths they prepared for one another. In round 2, researchers returned to work independently, re-reading transcripts and revising their descriptions and sets of passages by incorporating strengths of each other’s drafts into their new drafts. Each researcher then produced another draft that has the same elements of the initial one. He/she also wrote a description of his initial method of proceeding, and of its changes in the second round, including possible change of his/her APES rating. These second drafts were then circulated via emails in advance of the second group discussion. A period of one week was given for each researcher to read each other's drafts. During the second group discussion of each case, each researcher listed strengths of other researcher’s conceptualizations/drafts. We had extra rounds, as needed, until our ratings eventually converged. The first case (Nancy’s case, see below) was the most difficult one since we had four rounds before we finally converged on conceptualizing the major elements of her assimilation. As we got used to the process, we had two rounds in subsequent cases. When researchers converged on the rating of each case, the drafts were sent via e-mail and I combined all three drafts into a joint consensual document . Each consensual document included descriptions of (a) immigrant’s context, (b) immigrant’s worldview, c) summary/ stage of assimilation of the interviewee. Each of these three headings included subheadings drawn from a standard list. The use of each subheading depended on the information available in each case as described by individual researchers. Thus, the consensual document included portions of the final drafts of each researcher with all the elements mentioned above. In the early cases, the selected passages were removed from the consensual documents to allow for the flow and clarity

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of these documents. However, selected passages were included in the consensual documents of later cases so as to make it more comprehensive. Each joint/consensual document was then sent to all researchers, and they occasionally replied with comments on parts of the draft they wanted to change. The draft was revised and re- circulated until all three researchers agreed that the edited draft was accurate. That is, they agreed on the themes and issues describing the experience of loss and mourning for each participant and the stage of his/her assimilation of loss. The consensual documents were the basis for the Results section that follows. However, I further edited the consensual documents so as to: 1) include the selected passages that were removed from the consensual documents of the first 3 cases, 2) eliminate some redundancy in the original document, 3) tighten the summary section of each consensual document such that I was able to further integrate its elements, 4) avoid repetition of selected passages when it was unnecessary to do that. With the exception of one case, researchers were able to agree on the APES ratings of all participants. Possible reasons for our failure to agree on that particular case will be discussed later. Chapter 3: Results Each of the following seven case presentations includes the following headings: 1) The participant’s background , which includes their age, nationality, years in the USA, profession, and other defining factors. 2) The participant’s context , which includes events/conditions that influence the immigrant in the process of immigrating and adjusting to a new culture. 3) The participant’s worldview , which represents his /her perceptual aspects of immigration. 4) A summary of the immigrant’s assimilation process and the APES stage rating with an explanation of the rationale behind this rating. The presentation of each case was primarily derived from the consensual document, which, as mentioned earlier, was the product of the researchers’ case conceptualizations as well as their agreed-upon APES ratings. Each consensual document was edited more than once to incorporate comments from other researches after reading this document. Also, the names given to participants were not their real names to protect their anonymity. Each utterance by both the interviewer and interviewee was given a speaking number. Certain portions of the interviews were grammatically edited to allow for clarity

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Nancy “I never thought of immigrating to any country, and I do not think of myself as an immigrant because that was not my inspiration. And I did not have any need to leave my country. It just happened that I came to America- may be I do not fit the profile of an immigrant.” Background Nancy was a 40-year-old female immigrant from Spain. At the time of the interview, she was working as a professor in Spanish studies. She originally moved to the U.S. fifteen years previously to join an American man with whom she fell in love while studying in Ireland. However, her romantic relationship with this man ended and she became single. Nancy's interview included 116 speaking turns. Nancy was very open and expressive during the interview and provided a rich narrative of her immigration experience. At times, Nancy seemed to experience a considerable amount of pain describing her experience and at other times, she seemed aloof and indifferent to that pain. I. Context 1. Circumstances for immigration Nancy left her country for romantic reasons-- something she did not expect to happen to her: Nancy 5: For me, coming to the States was very circumstantial- just happened that this man I was in love with was from the States. He was starting a PhD at Harvard, and he said: you want to come to me? And I said sure, and it was not something I thought of before. It was not an inspiration for me; it was not something I envisioned as my future life. It just sort of happened, and that is how I came to the States. So, that is why when I talk about my life is the States, it is very circumstantial . 2. Role of Significant others When she first arrived to the USA, her lover helped her make a smooth transition: Nancy 32: I consider myself highly functional in the American culture, and I think part of it is that when I arrived to this country I lived with an American man- who really- so, a lot of the things one learn as a foreigner in a new place I learned them with him. So, I learned them directly form an American person, who really helped me a lot. So, just many things, how to deal with a bank account or a credit cards, or ordering in the restaurant, or taking the bus.

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Perhaps because she had been sheltered by this man, she did not make new discoveries about her new country on her own: Nancy 32 : So there were many things I did not have to discover on my own because he helped me learn them. She said that things were given to her by this man, and that she would have spent a very long time adjusting to America without his presence: Nancy 100 : Things were given to me and I did not discover them on my own. I was accompanying him and I was exposed right away : things like going to the movie, for example, and watching movies in a low-budget movie theater. I might have made my way there, but it would have taken me months to get there, or meeting other Americans of certain backgrounds. It would have taken me months to get there, being exposed to certain things. I do not know what to tell you, it is nuisance, small details, small aspects of the culture you get them On the other hand, the loss of her family, particularly her parents who were old, had been excruciating for her. She feared that their time was growing short, and she thought of them often: Nancy 23: I think the main conflict really or a very specific source of conflict is my parents; they are old. My father is 81 and my mother is 75. They are there, and I am here, and they do not have many years left. And for me, this is a main source of conflict spending time here. Being here, living here, and knowing my parents are going to leave me soon- relatively soon- and they are going to die. And I have the sense that I am losing time with them, and that causes me some grief, and that is a very specific source of conflict. She also seemed to have some guilt associated with these feelings and thoughts about her parents; her desire to be with them might be her strongest concern: Nancy 23 : and when I get back now, I see them really getting older. Now it is more, it is stronger . 3. Profession Her job as a professor of Spanish Studies kept her Spanish culture alive. She refused to communicate with her American students in a way different from her Spanish way: Nancy 31 : But I am also teaching my language and language is culture and great part of teaching a language is teaching cultural conventions and ways of doing, and ways

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of saying, and ways of acting. So, I do not need to be as careful as I would be if I was teaching something else because I am transmitting something to them that is my own culture; that is part of the lesson. So, I mean, getting close physically to them is okay because that is part of my culture, or being more direct or saying no, or may be sometimes getting ticked off or angry or making a face that would not be politically correct in the American culture. And I can always say: well this is the way we are, and that is what you are learning from me. So, I think that this is also part of it, the fact that my job entails being an ambassador of my culture my language, the Spanish-speaking world. 4. Access to home country As the next excerpt illustrated, her ease of access to Spain and her frequent visits to that country might have created a sense of discomfort in her: Nancy 52: When I go to Spain and leave Cincinnati, I also experience pain leaving people here even though I am coming back. So I think: oh, I am not going to do this and that next week, so I get anxious about it. I get anxious about not being here. Once I am in Spain I forget. The same way, once I come back I forget about these feelings. So, the feelings arise more either at the end of my stay in Spain or when I am about to go there. I get these feelings of leaving friends behind and leaving obligations behind. 5. Influence of the political climate in USA Nancy acknowledged her privilege as a European immigrant and felt that she was favored over other immigrants: Hani 84: do you think that this country is becoming more anti-immigrant Nancy 84: I do not know if I can say that. It did not affect me; quite the opposite, because I am from Europe. Europeans are highly regarded as the desired immigrants (laugh). So it has positively affected me if anything. Nancy also expressed her dismay with the foreign policies of the USA and talked about the negative impact of these policies on her desire to live here: Nancy 84: I am talking more about the international, the foreign politics of this country that this government does. It causes me some conflicts. I do not think I want to

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live in a country where certain political decisions have been made that affect the whole world in a way that I consider as a negative way. II. Worldview 1. Experience of loss of native culture A. Loss of normalcy: Much of Nancy’s loss can be framed in terms of normalcy. In coming to America, Nancy sacrificed her chances for a normal life transition that entails being married and having children. Most notably, she lamented how life might have been like had she not come to the USA: Nancy 12: I do not have a house; I do not have a family- which- it is because of the way life is. I do not have a family and most of my friends have families. They got married and have children. Some of them are divorced. Some of them are with their spouses, and I think things they have but I do not, and I think this is because I immigrated to the States. Nancy felt that, had she had stayed in Spain, she would be married by now: Nancy 16: Somehow I have a feeling in my heart that my life would have been different there. I have a feeling that I would have probably been married at this point. Thus, retrospectively, Nancy felt she unknowingly sacrificed much of what she most desired, when she chose to come to America: Nancy 9: and I left, I guess, a potential life that I believed- and I do not know. Sometimes I asked myself how my life would be like if I did not leave Spain. B. Vague awareness of the loss of native culture: Nancy seemed to have difficulty articulating her loss, and her cognizance of it was fleeting. Nancy 8: I go back to Spain often, so I do not feel I lost anything because I go to Spain every 6 months- every year at the latest. Nancy did not appear to be a person who had a consistent experience of loss of her native culture. Also, we could not detect emotions of mourning her loss as well: Nancy 32: I also think that I am not somebody who is very nostalgic of my roots, my cuisine, my TV program. Or I am not nostalgic at all of things I would be doing or having in Spain, and I do not have here. May be it is also because I go to Spain

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often, and whatever I want I can have it there, and whatever conventions I like. Whenever I go there I can share them or have them . However, she admitted to having acute emotional reactions at times, for example, she suffered “twice” upon seeing and hearing of homeless people in her native country, Spain: Nancy 106 : I do feel for my people and my country and my land. I do very strongly- it is heart-breaking sometimes. When I hear news happening, they feel stronger than they are here. When I am in this country and I see homeless people in this country, I suffer, but for some reason when I am in Spain and I see homeless people, I suffer twice. 2. Response to loss of native culture Nancy’s narrative gives the impression that to avoid the pain of experiencing losing the native culture, and the subsequent mourning, one may be motivated (perhaps outside conscious experience) to ward off such feelings and use some strategies to avoid the feeling of loss. Nancy used some of these strategies to avoid any direct contradiction/confrontation between her two cultural voices (Spanish and non Spanish). Nancy’s strategies can be summarized as follows: A. She experienced herself as an atypical immigrant Nancy felt that she was different from a typical immigrant who came for economic/financial reasons: Nancy 2: I never thought of immigrating to any country, and I do not think of myself as an immigrant because that was not my inspiration, and I did not have any need to leave my country. It just happened that I came to America. May be I do not fit the profile of an immigrant. Perhaps by dissociating herself from other immigrants, and viewing herself as different and unique, she was able to rationalize that she was not an immigrant at all. This may have served as an additional avoidance strategy, allowing her to avoid confronting her loss of her native culture . B. She tended to use both denial and clinging to avoid the pain of loss Her clinging came from her unwillingness to embrace the American culture more fully, as well as her feelings that she did not want to be an assimilated American and that she did not feel too American: Nancy 21 : I have my residency and that is good. I have no interest whatsoever in becoming an American citizen. I do not care if I cannot vote here. If things affect

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me, I am detached from all of that. And I like the fact that I am not an assimilated American. I mean that I have not assimilated into the American way of life and function. Sometimes, I think I take pride in that. I function perfectly alright, and I communicate with people. On the other hand, Nancy also used denial to ward off what she might have lost on coming to America. This narrative reflects her denial of losing “anything.” Nancy 8: I do not feel I lost anything because I go to Spain every 6 months- every year at the latest. You know, the most time I had been without seeing my family was 18 months in 16 years. C. She framed her decision to come to America in terms of a “choice” Such terminology further allowed her to rationalize her situation. She avoided discussing her current feelings and emotions surrounding her loss; rather, she focused on the choice she made 15 years ago: Nancy 10: So, I do not feel like I lost anything. I feel I made a choice that is irrevocable, and of course I do not know what my life could have been like if I remained in Spain. I do not know, and so that is how it is. Whenever I am back in Spain, I have friends that somehow tell me how much they envy me because I was adventurous. D. Her experience of selfhood derived from multiple categories This multiplicity might have prevented her from mourning her lost native culture because it seemed to replace any possible vacuum created by loss. For example, she felt limited by the term Hispanic and identified herself beyond it: Nancy 80: aha, yes that is the problem: they lump all Hispanics into one group; whereas, I think I feel closer to an Argentinean than with somebody from the Caribbean. She also reported that she belonged to many categories in the American population but was not specific about them: Nancy 81: let us say I do not fall into the mainstream American life style, but I do fall into many other categories that are considered American. She then identified herself with the Jewish culture: Nancy 98: So my exposure to the American culture was really an exposure to a Jewish American culture. So for me, what was completely American for many

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Americans is not for me. The common Sunday breakfast was bagels and lox, but, for many Americans, they never had that. On Sunday, they eat bacons and eggs, which is something my ex would never have for my breakfast. So what for me was so American was not American for many Americans. So, everybody’s experience was partial. 3. The perception of the native culture Nancy used her profession as an aid in keeping alive her Spanish voice and in making a continuing bond with it. The professional demands on her were eased because she was able to bring her native culture into her teaching: Nancy 31: I am a teacher of Spanish; I speak the Spanish language, so that is another thing that I have not necessarily accommodated so much. But I am also teaching my language, and language is culture, and great part of teaching a language is teaching cultural conventions, and ways of doing, and ways of saying, and ways of acting. Nancy experienced Spain as a place for rootedenss and belonginess: Nancy 16: One main different thing between European and American mentality is that people do not move around as much. Hani 17: They are more stable? Nancy 17: They are more geographically stable- less mobile, which I think also helps making people root themselves, and you know it makes people more rooted. And I love some of that: the sense of being rooted in a place, the feeling that you belong to a place. However, she was worried that her bond with her culture would prevent her from being an international nomad: Nancy 17: I do not care about it anymore; I think of myself as someone who is cosmopolitan, who is a global nomad. I get excited about not belonging to a place. When I go back to Spain, I think of course many times how nice it would be to go back and live there. But I also become anxious about the idea of not feeling or not being international because in this country I am so used to be around people from all nationalities and all colors.

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In Nancy’s case, her voices of her native culture and her continuing bonds with it had created an inner conflict with the voices of the American culture: Nancy 107: If I do not have this bond, I would not feel conflicted. I do not feel I have a dual life. It is because I have this bond that I have this duality. 4. The perception of the host culture Nancy actively rejected any association with the American culture. She also felt that she did not have an American voice but rather a non-Spanish voice: Nancy 70: I would never say that I have an American voice or Spanish voice; I would say I have a Spanish voice and a non Spanish voice because I never felt myself very American. She actively asserted her “non-Americanness,” and said that she never had had, nor ever would have, any intent of becoming an American. Nancy also denied that she adopted an American life style: Nancy 21: I have my residency (green card) and that is good. I have no interest whatsoever in becoming an American citizen. I do not care if I cannot vote here if things affect me. I am detached from all of that and I like the fact that I am not an assimilated American. I mean that I have not assimilated into the American way of life and function. Sometimes, I think I take pride in that. I function perfectly alright and I communicate with people. However, she did have an American side of her in some contexts and social situations, where her Spanish culture took a back seat, albeit temporarily. Not wanting to do her shopping list in Spanish, and not listening to Spanish music were examples of how she at times might have been coming close to giving expression to her American voice: Nancy 34: I do not listen to Spanish music; I do not cook Spanish food, occasionally yes. I feel comfortable speaking English, and I write my shopping list in English and Spanish, but my friends would never do that, and I do that unconsciously. 5. Relationship between the host and native cultures: the conflict between the Spanish and non-Spanish voices Nancy’ s ability to use her imagination about either staying in the U.S. or settling in Spain helped her give expressions to both of her cultural voices, and most importantly, helped her keep them separate and non-communicating:

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Nancy 66: yes for example, I think maybe I should buy a house in the countryside. So, may be I should buy a house in Oxford, yeah! Then I can turn it into a tango salon because I dance Argentine tango. I can host teachers from out of town and bring them here. Then sometimes, I have to erase all that because my fantasy is doing that. But in Spain, you know, may be quitting my job and everything and buying a rural house in a small town in Spain and doing the things I imagine doing here there. Of course I have all that; I have these images. May be I should try to have a child, adopt a child. What it would be like? I think of being a mother and how maybe it would be a good thing for me as a person. Nancy would consider acting on these fantasies at times, but this would create an inner conflict between the desire to stay in the USA and the desire to leave: Nancy 66: I build my fantasy. That is another aspect of my imaginative life that happens often, thinking of myself as a mother. But then I have a conflict, and I think, what if I want to travel to keep dancing and to socialize with my friends? Then this fantasy- I have to repress this fantasy. It cannot even become a reality because I also have another fantasy that wants to be a reality, so I am conflicted. However, despite her efforts to keep them separate, her two voices (her Spanish voice and her American voice) did interact at times, especially during transitions between the two countries: Nancy 52: When I go to Spain and leave Cincy (Cincinnati), I also experience pain leaving people here even though I am coming back. So I think, oh, I am not going to do this and that next week, so I get anxious about it. I get anxious about not being here. Once I am in Spain I forget, the same way once I come back I forget about these feelings. So, the feelings arise more either at the end of my stay in Spain or when I am about to go there. I get these feelings of leaving friends behind and leaving obligations behind. Indeed, the two cultural voices contradicted each other, and she seemed to experience a considerable amount of pain as a result: Nancy 22: I feel less Spaniard than I used to. It is my culture, my country, and my roots, and I do acknowledge that, but I also realize that most of my adult life I lived outside my country. And as much as I understand it and share it, I have grown outside of it. I do belong but I am not quite one of them anymore.

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Hani 23: Okay, let us go back to the voices you mentioned I think I get it but I want you to elaborate on them what is the main conflict then. Nancy 23: Now it is more it is stronger. Before it was abstract it is more difficult and visible now. I guess pain and conflict. Hani 23: conflict between what? Nancy 24: Conflict whether I should go back to Spain or stay here because nothing ties me here except my job and friendships. I can easily say tomorrow I am leaving. I do not have strong ties except my work and my friends. Sometimes when I am not happier, I really think I do not have a good reason to be here, and I have a better reason to go back. So, I have not come in terms with the idea that this is the place where I live. I know that I have not resolved completely the issue where I should be living. I know where I live: I live here, but I am not sure if I should live here. Nancy described her conflict in this passage as an inner conflict. It seems that her continuing bonds with her culture played an important role in this inner conflict: Nancy 41: I do have a conflict but the conflict does not come from the people it comes from inside, from having these 2 worlds that work or function together. But maybe not having really come to terms with the idea that my life is a dual life. She stated that this conflict was represented by her need for freedom (which she largely equated with living in America, traveling, socializing, and dancing), and her need to settle down and start a family (represented by her Spanish voice): Nancy 15: I have a strong sense of independence and freedom that I do not want to lose, so that took priority in unconscious way to take care of myself, and to take care of my independence, and take care of my social life and all those things that are important. And when I think, when I reflect about it, whether I miss having a family or not, or whether I should settle down little bit more and become a little bit stable financially and personally, sometimes I think yeah! But then I have to give up a lot of the things that I enjoy. In the following excerpt, Nancy asserted that she was made uncomfortable by this conflict. This discomfort might indicate that her two voices exerted a power over her conscious awareness in opposite directions, or at least her Spanish voice exerting the greater pull:

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Nancy 47 : I really feel I have a split- but I am- but I still have not detached completely comfortable from this pull. That is the conflict: I am not completely okay over this pull. However, despite the pain accrued by this split, she felt enriched by it: Nancy: 110. You know I think it is rich; anything that gives you anything in a person’s life that allows or causes you to live with 2 lives or worlds is rich whether it is having 2 languages. But having more than one path in life is so rich. Of course, it causes pain and suffering, conflict and all that. But when I think positively about it; it is very positive because I do have 2 worlds. But when I am unhappy, then it is a source of pain; it is just misery because the conflict is of a nature that somehow my heart and my mind cannot solve or cannot feel content about. But I think objectively speaking is very positive. Nancy believed that the only way her conflict could be resolved is to sacrifice one country for the other. She predicted that when she would actually make an attempt to stop living in two worlds, one had to be sacrificed for the other: Nancy 47 : …Of course sometime I just think I should go back to my country and forget about it. And many times when I go to Spain, and I spend some time there, I kind of forget about the States- it disappears from my mind. 6. Dream life When she first came to America, Nancy said she often dreamt of her family and the people and things she missed in Spain. These dreams and their intensity have dissipated over the years, although not completely disappearing: Hani 63: Were there any dreams in the first few months or years of coming to America that stuck a chord for you? Nancy 63: you know: I know they were because I wrote them down, but I forgot them. But my first years in the USA I remembered that I wrote my dreams because they are very powerful, but I do not remember any at the moment. Her dreams seemed to help her relive the past: Nancy 53 : Oh my God, my dream life is very active all the time. I can tell you something: I usually dream of people who are not around me; my family is always there, always always, my parents my sisters. I do not necessarily dream about my

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extended families or my nephews or nieces. I have a lot of dreams about my parents and my sisters when they were younger without their spouses or children. So, these are dreams about my family as it was before I left. APES summary/APES stage We believed that Nancy could be at APES stage 2: “Vague Awareness: Immigrant may now be aware of his/her pain but cannot formulate the reasons of suffering and is confused about its reasons. Pain is acute and feels unavoidable.” Our rationale for this rating was as follows: 1) Nancy was obviously experiencing deep pain as a result of her immigration; however she could not link this pain to her loss and actively denied that she had lost anything. 2) Coming to USA to join her lover and being sheltered by that man might have prevented her from experiencing the reality of loss. 3) Her excessive access to her home country, Spain, might have also prevented her from deeply examining her loss in that country. However, we also agreed that Nancy was experiencing a new emerging, subtle, conflict that is indicative of APES stage 3: “Problem statement clarification: Voices of lost culture emerge and may gradually assert and differentiates themselves from the voices of the host culture. Initially, the voices of lost native culture and the voices of the host culture may be involved in a rapid crossfire of contradictions and interruptions. The immigrant may exhibit inner conflict between the voices of the old and new cultures. Affect is manageable but not panicky.” Our rationale for that was as follows: 1) Nancy was also conflicted about whether she should stay here in the USA, or go back to Spain and she explicitly said that she is “torn.” 2) Her conflict was also represented by her ambivalence about her desire to start a family (by moving back to Spain) and her desire to keep her free and independent life style as a single woman, who lives her life to the fullest (as represented by her pull to the USA) Being at this APES level, it seemed that her continuing bonds with her Spanish culture contributed to her conflict and ambivalence. However, because Nancy’s conflicts/contradictions between her Spanish and her non Spanish voices did not fully emerge yet, and because of her

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successful efforts to avoid and stifle this conflict, we ultimately decided that she is mid way between the two stages i.e. APES stage, 2.5. We believed that she was likely to move further up the APES stages since her non- Spanish voice might be on its way to assert itself as an American voice in the presence of her dominant Spanish voice. Her rationalizing of her unhappiness as being a “choice” was also beginning to change. While she framed it in these terms, she was also beginning to reconsider this choice: Nancy 10: I feel made a choice that is irrevocable, and of course I do not know what my life could have been like if I remained in Spain. And Hani 14: But you are saying this is not something you lost, this is something of a choice Nancy 14: It is a choice of course, but I do have my conflicts about it of course And Nancy 102: I made choices in life; I guess if I made these choices, this means that I wanted them at the time. Choices are choices; you close one door, you open another one and that is it, and you cannot go back and open the door you close; it is closed and you move on. I think we all think: oh, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had done this or that. But the fact is that you did not. However, some aspects of the relationship between her two cultural voices seemed to be assimilated at a much lower assimilation level. For example, she refused to modify her teaching style and accommodate her American students. She also insisted that she was not an immigrant, but rather a global nomad who derived her identity from multiple, loose, and unrelated categories. On the contrary, with respect to her social life, Nancy seemed to be at a higher stage of assimilation since she talked fondly of her friends and said that she would experience a huge loss of her friendships if she decided to go back to Spain.

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Diego “I have no intentions of ever forgetting this connection and I keep it alive all the time. I keep it alive when I speak Spanish to my daughters, I keep it alive when I call my relatives or friends in Mexico, I keep it alive when I go the radio stations and have a program on Mexican music and when I serve in Latin American studies committee. To me it is kind of - It permeates my life.” Background Diego was a 54-year-old male college professor who had emigrated from Mexico 24 years previously. Diego originally came to the USA with his family when he was 4 years old. He stayed in this country until he was 15 years old, when his parents abruptly decided to go back to Mexico giving up their permanent residency status. When Diego went back to Mexico, he felt that he was able to fit in and make friends. As a result, he was determined not to leave Mexico ever again. However, soon after finishing his college degree, he decided to return to the USA and pursue a graduate degree in a university at California. He then decided to live in the USA permanently and married an American woman. He lived in Ohio and had 2 daughters. Diego’s interview included 89 speaking turns. I. Context 1. Circumstances of immigration Diego asserted that his main reason for immigrating to the USA was his desire to achieve his academic goals: Diego 81: What made me come to America is my desire to work on my education, and I decided to get a higher education, and that dragged me back to the US. 2. Influence of the political climate in the USA Diego talked about an encounter he had with racism and resented the complicit attitude of the university police, which refused to respond to hateful and racist phone calls he received at home. He felt that he was targeted because he is a native of Mexico: Hani 66: So there were no incidents of discrimination against you? Diego 66: Actually there have been. I had incidents here in the University. This did not happen for a while, but the first few years here I used to get phone calls, harassing phone calls all the time; messages left in my machine; messages telling me all kind of names telling me to go home to Mexico - pretty pretty bad. And in fact I called the police of the university, and they took the tapes and everything, but

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they would never tap the phone to know who they will call. Because of that, I had to get a Caller-ID at home because people would call in 3 or 4 in the morning harassing me. So, I guess my “Mexicaness” did come though enough to bother some people. Now, that did not happen for a while because, like I said, I had a Caller-ID and no one can call me anonymously any more. However, he assumed that these incidents were the actions of drunken college students: Diego 69: I know it was just, you know, Americans students doing this in their dorm room or fraternities getting drunk, and I know that was it. 3. Role of significant others Diego believed that he was a self-made man, who had succeeded here due to his hard work. He felt that he would have achieved what he did, even in the absence of the people around him who supported him in his home country: Diego 33: …even though I had many friendships and close connection with people in Mexico, I do not feel that that, what I guess I call my success or existence, has been based on the availability of other people to make me who I am. It is hard to interpret; I do not consider myself as being a function of other people. 4. Access to home country Diego reported that he visits his country at least a couple of times a year: Diego 14: … I go back to Mexico maybe once or twice a year… Diego’s access to his country allowed him to make new friends in Mexico: Hani 27: You left friends right? Diego 27: Yes many friends, but I also made new friends good friends there. I developed a compadre. I do not know whether you know what compadre is: It is a kind of godfather. Compadre is the godfather of a child, a padrino- I am sorry- is the god father of a child and a compadre is the relationship between the father of that child and me. He and I are compadres and I am the padrino to his son. I did not know this person until maybe 6 or 7 years after I left Mexico. II. Worldview 1. Experience of loss of native culture

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When asked specifically about his losses, he acknowledged the loss of his friends and the way he used to live. Diego’s most important loss was in terms of the friendships he left behind in Mexico: Diego 35: Well, there is always a sense of loss, a slight sense of loss, because of the way you used to live, the friends you go out with them, that is all of a sudden gone. So, you have to adapt to a new way of life where you do not have these friends, and you do not have those stuff. He had not been able to replace the quality of these friendships here in the USA, and attributed that to the way people function here. The absence of such friendships in his current surroundings seemed to leave a vacuum in his social life: Diego 8: Well, I think that the major thing I miss or left behind is friendship and camaraderie- no holds barred, no interest involved. Just friendships and camaraderie, getting together, singing songs, and playing around, playing the guitar, just having friends; whereas, here in the USA, it is very hard to do that because everyone has an agenda and I am talking about physical agenda- the schedule. You cannot drop into one’s house and play the guitar because everyone is busy and everyone has an agenda, but in Mexico, even my professional friends who have PhD or Master’s over there, it is not a big deal. I kind of miss that, everything (In the USA) over-structured- that is what I miss the most. 2. Response to loss of native culture Diego felt that he has “regained” his losses. He didn’t feel that his loss was irreversible since he kept in touch with his friends in Mexico. He also talked about his ability to make new Mexican friends when he visited Mexico: Diego 14: So you are asking if my friendships and what I had in Mexico is something that I lost. No, because I go back to Mexico maybe once or twice a year, and when I go there, I feel I never left. My friends are there. I do not feel that it is a loss I never regained. Now, I come to a point being older and having caught up with the culture in the US realizing all the stuff I missed and now having caught up with. But having had my experience in Mexico, I feel I am equally divided between both cultures.

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He argued that because of the way his brain “functions,” he was able to deal with his new reality of immigration. Diego 37: Maybe because of the way my brain functions. I do not want to harp on the “how the brain function things,” but I felt that for example, I could go to the phone company and say here I am and I need to work and what I need to do. So, the next day I am working, okay, because of the efficiency of the way they work they hired me. So, I worked and did my job extremely efficiently- worked there for 6 months. And then I went to start my Master’s, and when I went to the university, I met new people, professors and fellow graduate students, and without knowing anyone, I felt pretty well-adapted to the way things function there. 3. Perception of native culture Diego explained his internalization of his native culture by using the metaphor of a “giant backpack that has his background in it:” Diego 36: It is kind of as if I carried my background with me in a giant backpack, and this giant backpack was always with me in my mind, of course, where I know who I am, and who I was, and where I come from. And I knew the friendships and relationships I had. And to start up the new life in a place where I do not know anyone was not that difficult to me. This backpack included many elements of his culture, such as his morals, memories, and friendships: Hani 39: Okay let us clarify what you meant with background backpack. What is in the bag? Diego 39: I guess what is in the bag is my morals, my ethics, my education, my close friendships, and my memories. So, all that together, you know, combined is what I carried with me. His ability to carry around his native culture with him may indicate that he had a readily available storehouse of guidance available within him, with which he could adapt to a new culture, even in the absence of social support.

Diego did not experience a strong sense of loss or grief upon leaving Mexico due to the accessible nature of his continuing bonds with his native culture. He used his native culture as a

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resource in coping with the demands of living in the USA. His Mexican voice, the ‘backpack,’ had always guided him in the USA, besides providing with an ever-present connection to Mexico: Diego 28: I do not know; I do not want to say as if I was there, but in many ways there is a connection that I do not drop. Hani 29: So there is a bond? Diego 29: All the time. For example, yesterday I went to Hamilton and I had free time and I stopped in a restaurant (Mexican name, not clear in the audiotape). When I was there, all the waiters know me. I have only been there 5 times but every time I go there , I establish conversations with all the waiters, and they come by and say hello. The owner came by and said hello and I read Mexican newspaper called cornada and drank beer. To me this was a brief interlude in my week where I make this connection, and I read the newspaper. I realized that somebody made a movie on what would happen if all the Mexicans would disappear in California. This movie came out; it is talking about immigrants: what if these Mexican immigrants disappear from California? It was pro-immigrant, but I looked at that, and I said to myself, oh Gee, I am one of them; I am one of these people. Diego used the voices of his native culture as a resource in terms of keeping in touch with his past and did not downplay the salience of his culture in his host country. The following excerpt highlights Diego’s willingness to bring his native culture into his day-to-day interactions with American citizens: Diego 29: …I teach in the university and I always tell the students I am from Mexico and I always like to wear restaurant shirts. I always get a shirt from the Mexican restaurant with a Mexican emblem like mariachi or “fiesta shara” or whatever. So, I told the students in case you wondering I am from Mexico, so the connection is always there and I never forgot that. Diego also made friends in Mexico since he moved to the USA. (See passage “Diego 27” above) The following excerpt summarizes the extent and intensity with which Diego was connected with his native culture and the way he assimilated a continuing bond with it. He spoke with his daughters in Spanish, ran a Spanish-speaking radio station program, and participated in a Latin American studies committee:

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Diego 30: I think it makes me feels good, actually I did not think it makes me feel good, I know it makes me feel good. I know I always have this connection that I know I would never lose because it is a part of me. I have no intentions of ever forgetting this connection and I keep it alive all the time. I keep it alive when I speak Spanish to my daughters. I keep it alive when I call my relatives or friends in Mexico. I keep it alive when I go the radio stations and have a program on Mexican music, and when I serve in Latin American studies committee. To me it is kind of, it permeates my life. However, Diego’s perception of Mexico was not naively idealistic, and he acknowledged that which he disliked, or disappointed him, as well: Diego 34: But in Mexico people will say, “well, I will see what I can do.” I am talking about people who work on an office or whatever, efficiency is much lower, efficiency at work and things like that. So, it is hard to know and predict the future and say tomorrow I am going to accomplish this task knowing that the other person will not do that for me Diego 34: …When I go back to Mexico, I always say to everybody, “look at this trash! Clean it up!” and when I go to the university (Mexican one) and see trash behind a building, I tell the person in charge, come on! If you do not clean it, I will pay a kid five bucks to sweep it up while I am here, that gets me. Diego had differentially responded to the loss of his native culture. He was able to mourn the loss of his Mexican friends by making new ones in Mexico and by developing a sense of companionship (compadre) with them. However, he failed to make new friends in the USA. That is, he was able to mourn many aspects of his previous experience, but not his rich social life outside the borders of Mexico: Diego 9: To me unfortunately, in the department where I work, I feel like I have colleagues, but I do not have friends. Okay, even though I tried to establish friendship and I tried to invite people over, they come over and I got over, but it never really goes into anything. It never developed into deeper friendship despite having that intention. So here, I have colleagues and people I know, but in

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Mexico, I had and still have good friends who are willing to make good things for me and I am willing do good things for them. Hani 10: So the quality of interactions is different? Diego10: Yes definitely. 4. Perception of the host culture Diego was able to adopt the American life style, adhere to the system, and become more organized. He was willing to learn about the American culture, and apply this learning in practical settings. He appreciated the value of knowing more about this culture, and felt he was different from the typical new immigrant who would struggle with learning the ropes of this culture: Diego 63: See if you do not allow yourself to be assimilated into the culture, you are automatically limiting yourself in that culture. I do not limit myself; I allow myself to become assimilated. So, when I go to Wal-Mart, I do what Americans do, and I buy this and that. Wherever I go I feel like my actions and my words and my attitudes are not those of someone who has freshly emigrated from Mexico that hesitates to speak acting as if they were afraid, not allowing themselves to assimilate into the culture. So, I think that to a large degree, in my opinion, some of that is due to the way people act. The American culture represented a unique opportunity for Diego to improve the quality of his life and utilize the educational privileges that he had been given in this country. Diego was happy about his life in America and enjoyed its system of government, its punctuality, and its efficiency: Diego 34: I feel more confident in the USA that I can count on people to be efficient and get work done so I think to answer your question: have I been influenced by people in adapting and feeling comfortable coming to the US? I think I can say yes, but that is because people are efficient and I like efficiency. I do not like trash in the streets; I like cleanliness and I like orderliness and I like when people say they will do something they do it. So, I adapted well to those ways in the US. The American culture also represented a sense of reliability: Diego 34: One thing that I like about the way things function in the USA, and this is contrary to the way it is in Mexico, it is a lot easier here to get a straight

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answer in many ways. I feel that if I communicate clearly and the person communicates back, I have a lot of confidence in the way things work in the US, and what I expect to happen will happen. People are efficient, and I like efficiency. And cleanliness of the environment and surroundings: Diego 52: I think I already mentioned that people in the USA, they are educated in such a way from the time they are children to be orderly, clean, and efficient as part of the machine that people live in society. Diego was also aware of what he did not like about the USA, such as the busy schedule typical to the American lifestyle: Diego 48: Maybe it is because it is the function of everyone to be busy and I am busy and we do not have time available. And friendships which lacked the depth and connection of those with friends in Mexico (Diego 9 above), and what he characterized as a machine-like, worker bee, existence typical of Americans; something he struggled with: Diego 57: When I feel the machine is beginning to get over, because we all live in this machine, I keep my life under control as much as possible and do not get myself get sucked-in. And when I feel myself getting too far; if I feel like there is too much I will let things go. I need to do the other stuff in my life, and I will do it later, and if the world is going to end, it will end. Diego 53 : …It is becoming more like a machine; people are ants and insects. They are part of the bee-hive and they have a function, and their function is to provide the bee-hive with whatever it is to provide. And they die, and then they are buried, and then that is the end of it. And to me, that is the way of living that exists in the United States and it is unfortunate. 6. Relationship between native and host cultures Diego appeared to experience a smooth transition between the two cultures. Probably due to his living in Mexico and the USA for significant periods of time, he felt he could slide under the skin of one culture or the other, depending on the context. Language being an important aspect of culture, Diego was able to switch languages, based on his comfort levels, as well as what might be expected of him. The following excerpt reflects this point.

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Diego 18: …But since we were raised in the US as kids we spoke English. So, when I go to Mexico I speak in English to my sister. To me this is perfectly normal and I feel kinda weird speaking Spanish to my sister. In other words, the mental switch between speaking English and speaking Spanish and thinking in either language to me it is totally transparent. The feelings, the understanding of the culture is totally transparent: When I am down there, I feel like a total Mexican doing what the Mexicans would do: yelling and screaming playing the guitar and acting like a Mexican). When I am here I feel as complete American and do whatever Americans do. Diego seemed to have established a rich inner dialogue between his Mexican and American internal voices. He said that he benefited from this dialogue by becoming a person with a “deep sense of being.” Diego 24: Well, I think this dialogue; it gives me a deep sense of being. I feel that I am not living on the surface. I am not living just superfluously, just existing and taking actions just whatever you know likely. But I feel that my thoughts, and the way I think, and the way I act are really based down inside of me, and I have this inner deep conversation with myself. He also asserted that this dialogue made him feel special: Diego 31: In fact it makes it more powerful instead of being John Doe, who is a professor who teaches whatever in the university. I think it makes it more special to say that you have all these colorful background and to have all these other interests that perhaps other people do not have, like knowing Mexico and whatever it is that is an addition to your normal life. He also used himself as a bridge between the USA and Mexico by sponsoring cooperation between his current university and his old university in Mexico: Diego 43: I always try to promote things, and I tried to promote the relationships between this University and my university in Mexico . I came here in 89, and I was able to make a collaborative agreement in 91 between the 2 universities. I was able to get this going because I was down there and I wanted to promote what I can in terms of making things positive. So in 1991, I took a group of 45 people from Oxford to Mexico and flew there and signed the big agreement there. So, I guess that part of

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what I am saying is that when I go there, people see me as one of them as their ally as their friends as someone who they can have confidence in. So, it is not like I left, and I came back, and I am alien, and no one knows me anymore. 7. Diego’s character A. Individualistic self-construal: Diego seemed to have operated from an individualist perspective in which he totally relied on himself for his adjustment and attributed his success exclusively to his efforts: Hani 32: Tell me about the people who are close you- How did they help you in this journey? Diego 32: When you say people you mean people in past or present Hani 33: Just people in general. Let me reframe that: The move itself to America was it influenced by the people around you? Diego 33: Well, of course no one lives in a vacuum. I, as a person, I relate to other people. But it is hard question to answer because even though I had many friendships and close connection with people in Mexico, I do not feel that, what I guess I call my success or existing, has been based on the availability of other people to make me who I am. It is hard to interpret; I do not consider myself as being a function of other people or a function of I am like this because I was influenced by this person and that person. I grew up and I am who I am. B. Resilience: Resilience was an important concept for Diego’s narrative in light of his successful adaptation to the American culture. Diego did not attribute importance to destiny in having shaped who he had become: Diego 75…one thing I tell my friends and student and whatever that everyone chooses their future and there is no such thing as destiny. And I tell my students you are working hard on your master’s degree or you are working on a PhD, and you could, if you want to, you could be unloading ships full of sugar in India a year from now if you wanted to, or you could be doing something completely different. And all of this is a matter of choice and action and so, I realize that what I am doing now, and where I am living in the life I am leading, is a complete choice.

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Even when Diego attributed choice to where he was now, he understood that choices were a function of a particular time and context, and that newer choices could be made in response to new contexts. The following excerpt highlights this point: Diego 83: …Depending on the time in your life perhaps one or the other culture would be better for you, but right now, I think with what is going on in my life, my relationships with my family here in US, and my job and academics and everything, I think this is a good place for me. But circumstantially this it right here, but it does not mean that it will always be that way; I may be able when I retire, I may want to go back to Mexico . Assimilation summary/APES Stage We rated Diego at APES stage 6: “Lost culture has become a resource. An immigrant may transmit useful cultural values to the new country and in so doing; he/she may contribute to the welfare of its citizens.” Our rationale for rating him was as follows: 1) Diego made the choice to come to the USA to achieve his educational dreams. He acknowledged the loss of his culture and his mourning seemed to take place through his carriage of his “emotional backpack.” This backpack denoted his continuing bonds with his culture that was manifested by his ethics, close friendships, and memories. He would never lose his connection with his culture because it is a part of him and his easy access to his home country had helped him maintain this connection. He also had no intentions of ever forgetting this connection and he keeps it alive all the time. This bond also allowed him to be open to the American culture and utilize the educational privileges that he had been given in this country. 2) Being at this APES level, the voices of the native culture were linked via meaning bridges with the voices of the host culture, which resulted in an inner cultural dialogue that gave him a “deep sense of being” and prevented him from “living on the surface.” That is, he was not living “just superfluously.” This dialogue was also translated into action. He used himself as a bridge between the USA and Mexico by sponsoring cooperation between his current university and his old university in Mexico. In doing so, he attempted to educate his fellow American citizens about a different culture and to give them a cultural experience. He also had a sense of pride in his cultures, both native and host: he displayed the USA with pride, while in Mexico, and displayed Mexico with pride, while in the USA

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3) He was also willing to evaluate, assess and adapt his beliefs about either/both cultures. He professed balance and cognizance of both the positive and negative traits of each culture (as perceived by him). Diego also seemed to have relied on himself during the process of mourning. He is a self reliant resilient self-made man. 4) He was transmitting his culture’s useful values (a unique feature of APES stage 6) A caveat in order: despite Diego’s apparent success in mourning many aspects of his culture, he seemed to have troubles mourning his social life in the USA. Diego asserted that he felt distant from his American colleagues and made more friends in Mexico that he did in America. He also reported that he would like to report in Mexico since he did not want to feel lonely in his old days. Diego 78: Well I always have this idea and I think it is true for many immigrants of going back to Mexico. I see myself some day going back and living in Mexico being happy and doing whatever I wanna do with my friends and I am afraid I will end up in a rest home. Hani 79: Like a nursing home? Diego 79: Yeah like a nursing home with no friends, no family, and I guess my life would have the quality of having physical things are taken care of. Being fed, and your clothes are washed by somebody; your physical needs are taken care of but not your emotional needs. And I kind of do not want that to happen.

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Fen “I mean, nothing can, nothing can pay you for I do not know. It is very hard not very hard it is impossible to get that part here” Background Fen was a 30-year-old Chinese female immigrant. She came to the USA 8 years previously to join her husband who was working on his PhD. Fen spent her first 6 years in Florida where she received her undergraduate education and then moved with her husband to Oxford, Ohio, after he received his doctorate. At the time of the interview, Fen was enrolled as a part-time graduate student at a master’s program in accounting and was the mother of a 5-year old boy. Fen’s interview included 109 speaking turns. I. Context 1. Circumstances of immigration Fen indicated that her sole reason for coming to the USA was to join her husband after being separated from him for 18 months as a result of immigration restrictions: Fen 2: So three days after we get married, actually he came to the US, and then we were apart for one and a half year. And Fen 4: Yeah yeah, I tried to get a visa, but I got rejected because he was a student at the time, and maybe they thought economically he was not strong to support me here. I am not sure about why they rejected me. Hani 5: Then you joined him a year and a half later? Fen 5: Yes, I got a spouse of a student visa. 2. Role of significant others Apparently, Fen’s husband was her biggest source of support when she came to the USA. He had been residing in the USA for 10 years when they got married. He had been well acculturated to this country, and therefore, was able to help Fen learn about the American culture and teach her many aspects of it. Moreover, he helped her with the English language : Fen 99: My husband helped me a lot and he spoke good English. Yeah, at the beginning after I came to this country, he borrowed a lot of books for me to read, and while I was studying at school he helped me a lot because he is kinda like my teacher.

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Yeah, he would give information and feedback about this country and stories about Western culture; he likes Western culture. Further, Fen totally relied on her Chinese friends to deal with the pain of separation from China: Fen 20: and I know the people and there were many Chinese students’ wives over there and we eventually got along and shared the experience and played together and went to the English class together. Just like that. Another excerpt illustrating this point: Fen 22: We came, you know, China is a very big country, so we came from different parts of China because we were housewives. We spent many times at the home; we shared cookies; we spoke Chinese (laugh). You do not need to speak a language you are not familiar with. We shared a lot; it was like helping you to reduce your homesickness. Fen’s parents agreed to share with her the responsibility of raising her son, soon after he was born. This was near the time Fen was beginning her undergraduate studies. This commitment from her parents helped Fen by providing some respite from having to tackle simultaneously, the challenges of motherhood along with those of acculturation: Fen 28: this is another story: he was raised by my parents one way. Hani 29: How is that? Fen 29: Well my parents were here at the time- they helped us. I started to do my undergrad, and my husband was doing his PhD, so my parents brought him back. He would spend some time with them, then they would come back with him, then they would go back until he was 4 year old. 3. Access to home country Fen could not easily visit her home due to visa restrictions in light of recent immigration laws that were set to combat terrorism. This was an excerpt that illustrated her inability to visit home: Fen 59: Right now, I hesitate to go back home because my green card is in process. So, if I go back to China, it will be hard to come back and get American visa, so it is preventing me from going back home. So, I hope that after we get the permanent residency then we can freely go back to China every year and then it will help me. Hani 60: So one of the big factors in your life is your inability to go back home?

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Fen 60: Yes, that is right because I am worried I cannot come back. As I told you before, I was rejected to get the visa twice. It scares me that if I go back; they will not allow me to come back here. My husband is here and my son is here but they will not allow me to come back, so it is ridiculous. For safety reasons, I decided to stay here until the green card is processed. 4. Geographical location in the USA Because she lived in a small town in Ohio, Fen complained about the lack of community and her inability to carry out her traditional cultural practices. In this excerpt, Fen talked about a huge difference she experienced when she moved from Florida to Ohio. While she lived in Florida, she was able to be a part of a network of Chinese students who helped each other and ameliorated the hardship of living in a new country. This was Fen’s response when asked whether she made friends in her new small town: Hani 100: Were you able to make lots of friends? Fen 100: I have lots of friends. Hani 101: Here? Fen 101: Not many here because I have been only here for a year and half, but in Florida we made lots of friends and most of them were Chinese. Hani 102: Did you say it helped you in your first years. How did it help? Fen 102: Well, they would ask me why you are sad and I would say I miss home. Or what, “oh, I heard my parents are not well, I am worried,” they will comfort you and they will share their experiences because they left the same way. And some people came earlier; one would offer help. There were many Chinese students in Florida, so every time a Chinese student has some problems we had a big network, a Chinese student network. So, you would type all the questions in the email and anyone can read that email and responds to that- if you have visa problem, health problem. At that time, I emailed them about a student whose auntie or what got cancer, and if she could get a special medicine- you get all kinds different variety questions in that site. Then, if some students are familiar with that, like medical student, they may help in the web site. Also, this is an excerpt reflecting her disenchantment with living in a small town that lacked fellow Chinese:

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Fen 22: Our apartment building does not have any Chinese. But before, we had many Chinese students; we had more contact with many Chinese students than any other students, then after I came to here in Oxford, there are less international students in our apartment. I could not find any Chinese around our apartment and also in my program, I could not find any Chinese, so I am getting used to that because I already came to here 8 years. Oh no- chance maybe I will feel bored because of the cultural difference like that. I was always happy to be with same- culture people. However, she also felt that living in this small town might finally allow her to learn the English language: Fen 22: …but I feel good because it will help me improve my English (Laugh). But then when I deal with other cultural people such as American people, Indians, Korean, I have couple of neighbors from these countries, there is still something. They do not understand. If Chinese people, they can, we can understand each other, but other cultures say what does this mean? I mean other people could not understand. 5. Influence of the political climate in the USA Fen discussed her experience with racism in the USA, noting its relative absence, and generally had very positive regards for Americans on these issues: Hani 81: Have you ever been discriminated against. Or have you been always positive about your experience? Fen 81: I think I feel I can say I feel positive about that, especially White people. I think I do not know. They are good; they are very sensitive because America is very emphasized on that. She also mentioned her familiarity with racism, as it is not a uniquely American phenomenon: Fen 83 : Because even in my country we also have discrimination. Chinese people do not like the country people; they do not like dark skin people; they think they are hard working poor or what. Maybe Indian people- I talked with my neighbor. They have discrimination too you know, different rankings like that. So, most countries also have this kind of problem too.

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However, she seemed to have a naïve appraisal of the problem of racism in the USA. She asserted that the USA needed not to do anything about this problem and added that Blacks needed not to “complain since they were too sensitive:” Hani 84: So since every country has that (racism) so America did not have to do something about it? Fen 84: I mean, we do not need to have so much emphasis on that. Hani 85: Why not? If America is the best country in the world, why wouldn’t we work on that? Fen 85: Because I think there is so much concentration on that. For example, if Black, I mean Black African Americans, they did some wrong things, they are criminal or what, and if the White person is the judge, and if the judge says okay you are guilty, so they always kind of relate to, oh, because you are White and he is Black you kind of discriminate and you said he is guilty. But sometimes if the criminal is White he also can say he is guilty. So I do not know, I just think not all White people discriminate but all people do the same. II. Worldview 1. Experience of loss of native culture Fen seemed to be deeply influenced by her loss: Fen 53: So, it is really hard to say. It is kind of these things are like invisible hand it always pulled your mind. I do not know; I attach to my culture a lot. Yeah yeah, so you will think about it, I will not forget it in my whole life if I never had a chance to go back to China and will live here all my life forever. But I will always think about it; it will not leave my life. She contained within her a large reservoir of sadness at having lost her family, friends, and familiar places in her hometown: Fen 8: yeah, I miss my family a lot, but this is very sad. I think after I left, they miss me a lot and I miss them a lot too. We have a very good relationship. Hani 10: So you left your parents behind, what else did you leave behind? Fen 10: My home town and the friends. I have many friends, and I have many cousins, and we have very good ties, and my home town is very very ancient and very beautiful.

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In coming to the USA, Fen also lost the financial freedom and mobility she enjoyed in China: Fen 16: Economically I was very well because I am only daughter and I was the only child in the house. I could buy anything I want and my parents did not stop me and did not say you could not do that, and my brother, if I want something he can help me too because he was in Europe. So, I was just feeling that I was high than others such as my friends or what. Hani 17: So you lost that? Fen 17: and I lost that too but after I came to America, my husband was poor student, and we do not have much money. So, we lived in an apartment; it is not as good as my house in China, and everything was so hard. 2. Response to loss of native culture Fen seemed paralyzed by her loss and asserted that nothing could compensate her for it: Hani 53: This rich culture of yours. How did it help you here? Fen 53: I mean, nothing can, nothing can pay you for- I do not know. It is very hard, not very hard, it is impossible to get that part here. I mean this all the home, the real home (China). So every time, when I have an argument with my husband, I say I want to go home, he said this is your home, I say no this is not my home. Fen experienced feelings of sadness, when considering her loss. However, she seemed to avoid these feelings by busying her mind : Hani 41; And how does this feel? Fen 41: Pretty sad and maybe it is called homesick. Hani 42: How did you deal with the sadness? Fen 42: I am not a kind of person like that- I mean my personality is not- I am an open, very open person, and I will forget things instantly. I will not stay at the same point a long time, and I will find other things to do to- maybe keep me busy in the day time. So, I do not have time to think about it. This was not a sure-fire method, however, and at times she felt overwhelmed: Hani 45: When it fails? Fen 45: I feel very sad, maybe a little bit crying (Laugh), it is very hard. Indeed, Fen wanted to “undo” her immigration since she would like to use her degree as a tool for finding a job in her home country:

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Fen 63: I like the education here, and I like to get my degree and work for a couple of years. So, because I am an accounting major, it is like I may work for American company. They may have a chance to send me back to China to deal with business there; I would be happy to do that. 3. Perception of native culture Fen had a vivid image of China and had internalized many aspects of her native culture: Fen 53: ….. my home is in China; my home is with my parents; my home is those bridges, those gardens, so it is so deep you know. Sometimes, you did not realize it by yourself. It is so deep in your mind, and you love that culture so much. And another thing in China is that we have a lot of local opera like that, so I learned those kinds of operas and Chinese songs like that, and I will never learn American songs (laugh). I learned song but not as good as the Chinese stuff, those opera, you know, so this is kind of true, it is like, it makes you thinking and it is always in your mind. When I take showers I sing these tunes, and when I am in a car, maybe when I am driving, I thought about these songs . Fen’s continuing bond with her culture was manifested by her desire to cook her ethnic food: Fen 28: hmm, in a daily life we still eat Chinese food (laugh). I cannot eat hamburger and pizza, you know, several meals like that, only occasionally maybe okay. But I still cook Chinese food and I bought from Chinese grocery store or Jungle-Jim (a multiethnic supermarket in the area where she lived) here which is pretty good. Every time it comes to roots, I think every time if I move to a new city, I have to look for the Chinese store to find this Chinese stuff is. The voices of native culture were triggered by her son’s attachment to the Chinese culture: Fen 29: So although he was born in America, he is very attached to Chinese culture too (laugh) because he speaks Chinese better than English, and he misses his grandparents a lot. He likes Chinese food better than American food. Furthermore, the native cultural voices were also triggered by her Chinese arts, which were common in her household: Fen 30: I like to read Chinese book. I like to watch Chinese movie (laugh) and I bought a satellite with which we can access Chinese TV. So every time I would be more likely to watch a boring Chinese channel than to watch an interesting American

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movie (Laugh) or maybe like that, and my husband always told me if you do that, you will never, you know, you can’t improve your English. But I do like to see the Chinese stuff. However, in a recent visit to China, she felt alienated from everyone around her and asserted that things have changed between her and her friends and family as a result of years of immigration. In this excerpt she said that she felt out of place when she visited home: Fen 14: Yes yes 2 years ago, I went back home. I feel I am kind of, I just feel I am not part of this society and my environment. And 2 years ago, it was my first time to come home. I feel I kind of become a stranger –yes. Because everything seems familiar, but it is half distant. I do not know how to express the feeling, but you can feel we have a distance. It seems 6 years I did not live there. I just go to some where else and it is only in a dream. So, after 6 years I go back home, I live in the same house and walk in the same bridge, I see the same thing but I feel something not as the same city as before as I felt before. I do not know if you have such a feeling when you go back home (laugh), and the people changed, you know. China during those years has significantly changed in these 10 years I think, and everyone changed, and their age, they are getting older (Laugh). Fen also identified negatives of her native culture which she contrasted with positives in the USA (e.g. corruption of the communist party): Fen 33: Sometimes, I think Chinese people maybe too complex. We have a lot of corruption in China and the Communist Party. The Communist Party, they want for private and personal reasons to be corrupt. It is very hard to deal with that, and working in a company you have to keep good relationship with the leaders (bosses/managers/supervisors) and sometimes you have to invite them to dinner and give them expensive presents, and you have to pay the price, and I hate this part. But in America I feel everybody is equal . 4. Perceptions of the host culture Fen felt alienated from the American culture and seemed to lack interest in learning about it: Fen 31: I am not familiar with the American culture. If some people say, who who, who American name, who is that guy, I do not know. But in China you say who who, I would say okay this is a movie star or this is a political person or this is a history

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person or what, I know everybody. But right now it is a culture (American) I am not very familiar with- I am a strange in this culture. I do not know what you are talking about; I really do not know this country much although I learned in a history class, but then I forgot (Laugh). It is not a part of me, so it is like a neighbor thing. It is like, oh, this is my neighbor: although we have good relationships, but they are your neighbors they are not part of your family. So I do not know, I am still attached to my family; you cannot attach to your neighbor a lot, so I do not know. And she felt it was too late in her life to accept a new American part in her: Fen 31: So I, although I want to accept the American culture, but it seems to me too late to do so because I arrived from China in my twenties, in the middle of twenty years old. Hani 32: So it seems that there is something that prevents you; so you said because you came late is that the only reason. Fen 32: I think this is a big reason because in 25, 26 (years old) you already have your whole ideas, you already like, I do not know, your whole personality, your knowledge, your everything is already there. It is not easy to change; it is kind of stable at around that age. But if I came to here below 20 or 15 or as a teenager, I will be more adapted to this culture, forget the other things. But if I come like 25 or 26 it is really hard. Despite her many efforts to learn the language and culture, she felt different and had trouble fitting in: Fen 25: My personality is kind of different compared to American students in my class; they are younger, much younger than me. I am a non-traditional student. Also, I feel that they so lucky because they did not suffer and came to a total strange country and leave parents behind, and they are very lucky. And this country is rich and I mean everything is developed in the country and they can have everything they want, but we have to sacrifice a lot to pursue this specific thing and they never could not understand this thing: “Why do you do that? You can stay in your family you can stay in your home why you come to here?”(reiterating what she was asked by her colleagues).

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Fen also expressed contradictory feelings about the USA. She appeared to have a very positive image of the American culture, especially the kindness of its people: Fen 33: I like this country and I like the people here and I like everything here, the advances, the technology, the beautiful environment and I think American people are very nice. In America I feel everybody is equal. So, I like this part here, and the people are very nice to you. They do not think, “oh, if I am nice to you, I expect something from you.” I do not feel that way; I feel they are nice because they are nice. And especially many Americans have the Christian values, so I like that, and I go to church, and I go there, and I like that, and everyone is ready to help you. However, she also expressed uncertainty as to whether Americans had the same quality of ties that people in her culture have: Fen 10: …I am not very sure about Americans’ relationships, but in China we really like have very tied family values. 5. Relationship between the native and host cultures Fen implied that the two cultures are mutually exclusive and that it was too late for her to integrate both cultures within her: Hani 31: But what is the role of the American culture in your life? Fen 31: So I, although I want to accept American culture, but it seems to me too late to do so because I arrived from China over the twenties, in the middle of twenty years old, to come here. Fen seemed to like many positive values about the USA but instead of assimilating them into her experience as an immigrant, she would like to take these positive values back to China. Indeed, she questioned the practicality of such integration: Fen 34: Well these two cannot (two cultures cannot meet); it is very hard. I like this part but I cannot bring it. If I want to move or went back to China these things I like, and I want to take them. She even questioned whether she would ever feel whole again: Fen 54: I think America can give you something you cannot get in China, but something I just think I will never get from here. It is just a part of life nobody can help you with (laugh).

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Fen also experienced an inconsistent and limited dialogue between the two cultures. She may be resistant to engage in more fulfilling relationships with Americans: Fen 25: …But I do not know exactly but they will never understand you. I think there are boundaries. I do not want; I do not want to; I could not; I am not able to break this boundary. Nobody will help break this boundary. Hani 26: What do you mean? Fen 26: Boundary between me and the American kids. Hani 27: So these boundaries are created because you are so rooted in your country? Fen 27: Yes because we have different backgrounds. 6. Dreams Fen's dreams seemed to indicate her experiencing of this loss, as they were still populated by visions of China, her home. Her dreams of native culture tended to revolve around mundane, day-to-day aspects from her past (which might suggest a rootedness in the lived experience of that culture; a living, breathing culture that she nurtured in her mind). She was dreaming of day- to-day aspects of her native culture, even after living in the USA for more than eight years, and having visited China only once during this period: Fen 38: Yesterday, I dreamed of my home, I dreamed of the street I walked or I dreamed I was a teen-aged girl or I am in the shopping mall or like that in China. I dreamed I am in the small town where my aunties live- you dream old old things. So, it means you cannot forget even though you do not have time to think about it, but you leave it in the corner of your mind, but it appears. Another excerpt illustrating this point: Fen 40: I dream of older things and just I dream of daily life- everything! Like you live in China in everyday, like get up, or eat the breakfast, or go to the school like that, very very daily life. So, just dreams like that then suddenly I wake up and say I am not in China anymore. Another excerpt: Fen 48: Well in my home town we have many many bridges and many rivers, it is very pretty city. It is a historical city, kind of rich part in China, so it is a very good place, and I would dream of the bridge- we have very different kind of bridges; they came from different dynasties. And we have very very beautiful gardens-

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these gardens are the most famous thing in my home town. We have these gardens, that were built in different dynasties, very very old and very pretty not like the gardens here. Hani 49: So, you used to walk around there? Fen 49: Yes, so it is like a movie, like a picture; it is a very pretty place. So, you dream of rivers, water-bridge, and you just dream, and you go back to that place. 7. Character A. Collectivism: Fen talked about her reliance on other Chinese individuals who formed a vast collective network that not only helped her but other Chinese students as well in adjusting to the States: Fen 104: There were many Chinese students in Florida, so every time a Chinese student has some problems we had a big network, a Chinese student network. So, you would type all the questions in the email and anyone can read that email and responds to that. If you have visa problem or health problem. At that time, I emailed them about a student whose auntie or what got cancer, and if she could get a special medicine; you get all kinds different variety questions in that site. Then, if some students are familiar with that, like medical student, they may help in the web site B. Resilience: Fen seemed to gather strength and find untapped resources within herself, as she adjusted to the American culture and language: Fen 20: First of all, the language thing: I am not a very good student in China, too young and played (laugh). After I came to here I said, oh, my English is bad, I do not, I cannot understand what people say and every time the phone rang, I get scared, oh no, (laugh)-. I could not answer the phone! I did not know what to say (laugh). So, I tell my husband come and answer the phone, so it means I am like a useless person. Later on, I just eventually picked the English and Americans have English as second language classes like that. And I attended church, and I know the people, and there were many Chinese students’ wives over there, and we eventually got along and shared the experience and played together and go to the English class together- just like that.

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Assimilation Summary/ APES stage We rated Fen APES level as APES stage 2 “Vague Awareness: Immigrant may now be aware of his/her pain but cannot formulate the reasons of suffering and is confused about its reasons. Pain is acute and feels unavoidable.” We gave her that particular rating for the following reasons: 1) Fen expressed her deep sadness and frustration for leaving her country. The fact that she left her country to join her husband might have slowed down her mourning since she seemed resentful about it. Fen also felt that this loss is irreparable and wanted to undo it by wanting to relocate to China upon finishing her degree. Her mourning was also complicated by her inability to visit her home country due to visa restrictions. 2) Fen seemed to avoid the feelings of sadness through busy work and occupation, which suggest that she may have ‘warded-off’ her loss, a quality indicative of a lower APES stage. She did not seem to deeply examine her loss 3) Fen’s cultural voices did not contradict each other at levels deeper than surface choices of living in the U.S. versus going back so stage 3 was not given to her. Being at APES level 2, it seems that Fen was experiencing an emerging awareness of loss coupled with a lack of clarity in her ability to articulate the problem. This problem was marked by its strong and negative affective character shown in above passages such as Fen 14, 16, and 53). Her continuing bonds with her culture provided her with solace in the land of immigration but separated her from the host culture and prevented her exposure to it.

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Andres “I am comparing myself to my wife and my children my friends- that has to be the case. They have conflict but not for me I do have the feelings, in a certain way I do not want to say that my life is great blah blah, because I am aware of that loss. And I am that it is a part of me it will always be-hmm but in a certain way I am very happy because all these things let me to do more or less what I wanted to be in life in that age.” Background Andres was a 56-year-old male college professor who emigrated from Argentina 19 years ago and his field of study was Spanish Literature. He originally immigrated to Argentina from Uruguay and lived there for 12 years before his decision to immigrate to the USA. He was married to an Argentinean woman, had two children and lived in Ohio at the time of the interview. Andres said that he made the decision to immigrate to the USA to pursue his graduate studies as well as due to his disenchantment with the lack of academic freedom in Argentina at the time he immigrated. Andres’s interview included 98 speaking turns. I. Immigration Context 1. Circumstances of immigration Andres came to the USA in search of education: Andres 4: I came here for my Master’s first and then for the PhD. I knew from the beginning that in my field, in terms of jobs, I had better chance here than there. Another excerpt illustrating this point Andres 6: Oh yeah, oh yeah, I think in a certain way also I wanted to have a more stable life and maybe I am thinking in academic terms. I know this was my field; that was my choice, and in my country of origin that is highly politicized type of activity as well. Another excerpt: Andres 9: the overall climate was not conducive to learning Hani 10: So another reason for your coming to America not just the educational reason, you were also not happy with the political unrest? Andres 10: Yeah, yeah, that is true to a certain extent and economic stability Andres13: …something that was not part of my original culture, one of the reasons is economic.

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2. Influence of the political climate in the USA Andres expressed his frustration with the American political system and the political apathy of Americans: Andres 68: Sometimes it irritates you that Americans are different in politics and nothing is going to change, and you have to be aware of these things, but that is a sort of peaceful moment in my life in which I do what I like and I live on that. 3. Access to home country Andres had easy access to his country: Andres 80: So the idea of when the plane lands when I go home, it is very joyful; it is quite enjoyable and I like that. I enjoy it that way- I am enjoying it. I enjoy the culture, the way they greet you, which is not as courteous and as polite as Americans (laugh). 4. Role of significant others Andres’s wife seemed to have helped him in adjusting to the new country though he was not explicit about how she helped him: Hani 63: Your wife is American? Andres 63: No Argentinean Hani 64: How did your relationship with her helped you? Andres 64: Very much so. His wife seemed to have had a more difficult time responding to the new country when compared to him Andres 68: and, I am comparing myself to my wife and my children my friends- that has to be the case. They have conflict, but not for me I do have the feelings. In a certain way I do not want to say that my life is great, blah blah, because I am aware of that loss. II. Worldview 1. Experience of loss of native culture Andres clearly acknowledged what he had lost his community, music, and language: Andres 15: What I left behind, what I left behind? Oh many things, God, but your question was: what did I leave behind: I left behind being part of a community which I knew I was a part of, so there was, in respect, (mumbling).

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Andres also acknowledged that loss can be traumatic, but he saw it as an evolving process. Andres 17: We people, human being- hmm, I do come from a family, from immigrants, mother side and father side and I think there is a big trauma there you do not fully recover. I think there is a fate somewhere. I mean, something was wrong; it was not my guilt, economic condition, political condition, and I am apart of my country. So that is how it became a country of immigration, and I am one of them, so it was not just my choice. I am a part of a generation. Andres expressed his sadness about his loss and identified with it: Andres 38: I am identifying myself with loss. Well, let me know if I get too technical- in a certain way, when you sing that (Tango), I mean, you are enjoined with the excess of feeling that you somehow put artificially into that. You are performing that; you cannot perform that for others, but you perform that for yourself. In my office, I sing tango, and that is the part that somehow is not translatable, and I will never do that in front of people who do not know what I am talking about Hani 39: Is it about the loss? Andres 39: Oh yeah yeah yeah. Andres used an interesting metaphor to describe his loss: departing a bus before reaching its final destination: Andres 40: (Laugh) well going back to what I said I lost my seat on this bus, and I, my choice is that I changed my itinerary, and that poses also some sort of dilemma because you always, you know, have this dialogue of how much you still understand of that, and if they recognize you as a part of that. People are not sympathetic about you being abroad, and then come back, say this, and that especially when you come from this country. 2. Response to loss of native culture A. Andres dealt with the loss of his culture through a form of art that is related to the process of loss (Tango). Andres 33: There are things that I do identify myself with like it is a culture, music for example. It is tango country; I sing tango- oh yeah! And I do know that it is popular over the world; most Americans talk about dancing tango but now people do not necessarily dance tango, and it is okay, but they also sing tango. Tango is

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also a song. So, there is a tango lyrics or poem; some of those tangos are danceable and others are not, what is popular here is the dancing part of it, but I grew up with tango, singing (Tango song). My mother used to sing tango a lot, and I do know that somehow that is me, my music, and my world, and my psychology, and my culture, and also my slang. Hani 34: it seems that you kept this within you. Andres 34: Oh yeah. And Andres 41: Well, I think that basically if you go to tango there is always the loss of something. Tango was born you know in history but out of different things, and one of its components is European immigrants (in South America), who were crying for what they left behind. Somehow, there is a sense of loss and something that is not going to be the same again. B. Andres dealt with the loss of his native culture through his work as a professor in Spanish studies : He was able to stay connected to the culture he left behind by researching it: Andres 50: Well, I made choices and you leave things behind. I do not feel detached from that what I left; I do not feel I made a big cut. First of all, I am dealing with my language and my culture here and I have to do that. They pay me here for being in contact with that, but I do know that some other people in other professions do not have that. So, that is my case so it is okay. C. Andres also responded to the loss of his culture through constant interpretations of its meaning to others. However, he found it difficult to explain this loss in depth: Andres 36: Well you suffer the problem of constantly interpreting things and explaining things for yourself and others. Even if I meet people, I have colleagues that like to dance tango and they go to certain place to learn that, to learn the steps, so I think it is nice. But I do know by the same token that there is the impenetrable culture that I do not share with them, and maybe they are not interested in that because it is not accessible for them- the words or psychology behind that. He also described his native culture to others but found difficulties clarifying it:

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Andres 98: the main difference is that you somehow, you have to interpret constantly to people: Where you are from? Are you from tortilla country, and I say no I am from bread country (Laugh). You always have to fight with stereotyping and you have to always refocus yourself. And, you do not know what the person sees. For every person, you may be something different according to how much understanding this person has of your own cultural being. And Americans are very curious and polite, and think it is very, where you from, babababa, but sometimes they ask the wrong question because they try to be polite. They tell you, so now, you will go back and you will eat tortilla, but tortilla is something Indians in Mexico eat and I am not from tortilla region. D. Andres used loss to experience personal growth: His life seemed to be transformed as a result of living in the USA. Andres 68: … in a certain way I do not want to say that my life is great blah blah because I am aware of that loss, and I am aware that it is a part of me. It will always be, hmm, but in a certain way, I am very happy because all these things let me to do more or less what I wanted to be in life in that age. E. Loss had led Andres to have many gains: For example, he could do things he always wanted to do such as travel and making discoveries: Andres 68. I know if I stayed in the economic side, I would not be as safe as I am here and I traveled a lot to Europe and South America. So, in some way it is freedom, it is more dignifying; some simple way of life and in my cultures of origin we always fit into the country and the world, we are messianic (Laugh). 3. Differential response to particular losses: Despite mourning his social status and his cultural heritage, Andres seemed to have difficulty initiating new friendships with Americans; that is, he did not mourn his friendships: (Same problem faced by Diego): Andres 59: I am going to tell you some specific things- Maybe I do not like to explain things that way. It is 10 years that I have been in (He mentioned the name of his university) and I have very nice colleagues people American you know. I have been working with people in committees for years and those people do not talk to me. And I feel that they have cultural shyness; they are culturally shy and what is

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most interesting is that they are specialist in my culture- I am talking about Latin American studies committee (Strong laugh). So the first time, I am sitting next to them is very much into conversation, and I can see that, and experience that, with an American colleague they are going to be not open and that is my personal slant to that. You may say hello and nothing else will happen, so I do not know where the problem is. But it happens to be that the person in a committee is grabbing the same banana at Kroger (a local supermarket) and you say hello (loud voice) and then they say hello (very low voice, sarcastic tone): what did I do? 4. Perceptions of native culture In comparison to the American culture, he felt his Montevideoan culture is richer with longer history: Andres 50: They have monuments here (in the USA), but I am not sure if something happened here. So, of course, I take it with a sort of irony: Are you familiar? In Europe in May I was with my son in New York, I came to New York many times, but I took my son to my father’s little town in Italy. I took him there for a week. It was interesting; I wanted to connect him with that with my father and my grandfather -so what I wanted to say? (laugh). I was taking pictures here and there, so, hmm, my son talked about something, you know, where they shot people in World War II they had a plaque and that was absolutely magic (silence). Andres felt that something changed between him and his countrymen as a result of immigration to the extent that he occasionally became irritated with them: Andres 43: I am always a visitor and sometimes I do research and I buy books, I visit places, visit people, but I do not live there in practical terms, and it irritates me- many things. I am too Americanized if I go to a library and ask for a book, I think like an American. Hani 44: What do you mean? Andres 44: Well, the way people speak and explain things irritates me because it is - things are more different than what I thought. Yeah, people speak in a sort of, you have to interpret half of what they say, so Americans are very, they somehow say what they want to say. In my culture, that is not always the case. Hani 45: Can you say more about that?

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Andres 45: You are supposed to interpret what they want to say they use irony- highly ironic culture. This was an example of the subtle communications of his countrymen that he could not capture: Andres 46: I was riding a bus and there was a young fellow with a stick or whatever and wanted to ride so he asked the driver can I get on with this stick- and then the driver says something like can you? You cannot, and then if you hear that it would mean: “no I mean if you can you cannot. May you, you may not.” So, the young guy was happy and said, oh thank you and sat down. The driver was leaving behind the second half of the sentences; he was supposed to say may you? You may not, but I allow you. And I was very surprised that the young fellow interpreted that what the driver was saying but I could not. I was very surprised since he was literate, but I was not aware of the way they use the language. Continuing bonds: Andres’s inner cultural voices were triggered by tango, metaphors, and the features of his home town: Andres 38: In a certain way when you sing that (Tango) I mean you are enjoined the excess of feeling that you somehow put artificially into that. You are performing that. You cannot perform that for others, but I perform that for myself in my office. I sing tango, and that is the part that somehow is not translatable, and I will never do that in front of people who do not know what I am talking about. Andres talked about his continuing bonds with the Montevidean culture. Many of his coping mechanisms were culturally rooted. He used his culture creatively as a resource, in dealing with the problems he had encountered as an immigrant: Andres 50: I am a cultivating that I am very much interested in the history of the place (Montevideo, Uruguay’s capital) and music and culture and it is a way that goes into my research: History, literature, psychology- right. I am more interested than anything else in developing autobiography, in memory and locus of memory- memory related to space. That interest me a lot and that is reflected in the literature and, so that is one of the things I like.

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He was also able to reflect on his culture from far away in the USA. This reflection was very informative and educative for him since it allowed him to have a perspective on his country that was not possible before: Andres 68: And I think that you even enjoy those things, and you appreciate these things when you are not there. If you never left that place, and you become outside, I think I always wanted to have this perspective I am having now. I know if you don’t step outside your culture then you do not get to see your culture too well Hani 69: So if I get you right, going out of your culture gives you a better perspective? Andres 69: Right right. Big intellectuals lived outside their culture. Andres also talked about using his research career in the USA to appreciate the depth and beauty of his culture: Andres 80: somehow it seems that after I achieved and I was aboard after I achieved my intellectual and my professional goals I was less critical of my major culture when I go there. He also practiced his cultural rituals in saying his farewell to his dying mother: Andres 68: I do have my own rituals, when my mother died they called me. She was sick and they wanted me to go. She was 86 and if you show up, you know she is not going to die, but then she died 2 or 3 in the morning, and it was expectable. So, I put my tango CDs and was responding to her in her culture and drank a special tea, and I was sharing that with her and that was homage to her, you know, more than flower because we share this type of thing. 5. Perception of the host culture Andres seemed to have adopted a life style that was much Americanized. In this excerpt, he talked about his American characteristics: Andres 42: when I go back and I go back every year. In the second day I start complaining and I know what I left, but it is the first day is a wonderful feeling of being unnoticed blending into this community of people. Hani 43: But you said you blend the first day, but then you get annoyed the second day? Andres 43: Yes because I am always a visitor and sometimes I do research and I buy books I visit places, visit people, but I do not live there in practical terms and it

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irritates me- many things. I am too Americanized. If I go to a library and ask for a book I think like an American. He also expressed his fascination with the educational process in America: Andres 11: so to put it in very practical terms, I have seen that. I mean walking into an American university’s library system is something that still amazes me, something like a fairy tale. I am into literatures so I am into books so, just like now if I want to have a nice book, I can go to campus library and have a wonderful time. I can be there in a very comfortable and air-conditioned space. I can walk there and pick them up. He also appreciated getting paid to do what he loved: Andres 68: that is a sort of peaceful moment in my life in which I do what I like and I live on that. And I have to admit, because I am here in this country, I have a child here, and I teach, and I get paid for teaching and writing and reading, that is what I like. So, somehow I have been lucky in terms of achieving these goals, so in a simple way I am outside my culture. and the academic freedom that people have in the USA: Andres 6: Oh yeah, oh yeah, I think in a certain way also I wanted to have a more stable life and maybe I am thinking in academic terms. I know this was my field; that was my choice, and in my country of origin that is highly politicized type of activity as well. and individuality : Andres 55: Basically no one cares or nobody imposes anything on what I do and how I am Hani 56: And how this is different from your country. Andres 56: It is absolutely different (Laugh); it can be both ways. It can be a good way and it can be a bad way. He said that his fellow countrymen described him as Americanized: Andres 40: And that happens to my family: they say you have been too far away; you do not remember things; you misinterpret things; you do not understand; you are too Americanized. And in my culture, that is the worst thing when people say to you, you are Americanized (laugh)

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However, Andres was also able to explicate negative aspects of America, such as the ease of waging war: Andres 11: …in many times of my life I was very anti-American-Vietnam. But I also knew about this country as well because I have been here before. And vagaries of the language : Andres 44: so Americans are very- they somehow say what they want to say. In my culture that is not always the case And interpersonal distances: Andres 59: I have very nice colleagues people American, you know. I have been working with people in committees for years and those people do not talk to me, and I feel that they have cultural shyness; they are culturally shy, and what is most interesting is that they are specialist in my culture! 6. Relationship between the host and native cultures Andres seemed equally influenced by voices of both native and host cultures. The two cultural voices most often interacted in an open dialogue. Andres did not report any inner turmoil: Andres 68: I am comparing myself to my wife and my children my friends- that has to be the case. They have conflict but not for me; I do have the feelings. In a certain way, I do not want to say that my life is great blah blah because I am aware of that loss, and I am- that it is a part of me it will always be, hmm. But in a certain way, I am very happy because all these things let me to do more or less what I wanted to be in life in that age. I know if I stayed in the economic side, I would not be as safe as I am here. This portion clearly illustrated his inner dialogue in which he experienced himself as both an American as well as an ambassador of his country: Andres 98: You become one of them and you blend with them- one of them and you can also be polite or impolite, but here you are always an ambassador ( strong laugh). He also felt that there is coexistence between his native culture and the American one: Andres 52: Somehow you blend okay and there is a sort of co existence. However, there was also evidence for discord, in that the two cultural voices were not always in dialogue, and sometimes contradicted one another, especially in the realm of interpersonal relationships.

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He described himself being different, and unable to communicate with colleagues : Andres 59: I have very nice colleagues people American, you know. I have been working with people in committees for years and those people do no talk to me, and I feel that they have cultural shyness. They are culturally shy and what is most interesting is that they are specialist in my culture. Andres 42: In other words, I could be, I mean, I work very well here. I like this place very well, but I know I will always speak with an accent I can’t fully blend and I do not want to, I mean that is not my place that is not me. Furthermore, Andres did not seem to reach out to American citizens and transmit his cultural values (unlike Diego discussed earlier). He seemed condescending and expressed classist views in this passage: Andres 60: I think I am more evolved as a human being. Culturally (laugh), right. Hani 61: Can you say more? Andres 61: These are cultural difference you see because for example there are more sophisticated American, but it is very common, giving the facts and history of this country and its development, it is likely that a peasant’s child can come to college. That is not quite the case in my country and even when we are a middle class country things are not exactly. What I want to say is that somehow it is that being culturally so different and explaining that to, I mean, this is a person who has no experience outside his farming community in Wisconsin or Nebraska or whatever. Individualism: Andres seemed to have taken a more individualistic approach as he adjust to the USA. His coping strategies seemed highly personal: Hani 64: How did your relationship with her (wife) helped you? Andres 64: Very much so. Hani 65: Would you have done it without her? Andres 65: Yes sure she is less adaptive though. Assimilation Summary/APES stage: We rated Andres as APES stage 5:

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“The immigrant continues his/her bond with the lost culture. In addition, assimilated lost culture provides solutions to the problems of isolation and depression that immigrants may experience.” Our rationale for that rating was as follows: 1) Andres’ voices of the lost and host culture were in dialogue with one another (see above passages about dialogue) and most importantly, Andres was able to hold both perspectives/voices in mind simultaneously. This had allowed him to build meaning bridges or shared understandings. He could flexibly respond to the situation at hand, using either voice. He was able to exercise his intellectual and individualistic desires by being a professor and acting American in that sense. However, he could access the voice of his lost culture when dealing with loss: singing the tango or engaging traditional rituals when his mother died). In his words, the two cultures “co-exist, ” (Andres 52 above) Being able to research his old culture has facilitated this co-existence by (a) allowing him to remain in contact with language and cultural practices and (b) focusing on memory/space—specific research topics that seem to have helped him through the grieving process. 2) Andres also considered himself “one of them” i.e. Americans as well as an ambassador of his country. He seemed to have a fairly balanced view of his experience as an immigrant, having lost his native culture. He was aware of his positive and negative feelings about the host culture such as educational privileges and interpersonal distancing respectively. He was also aware of his opposing feelings about his native culture such as his fascination with the Montevideon culture and his discussion of trauma. In dealing with his loss, he had creatively employed his profession, native traditions (e.g. tango) and metaphors (such as departing the bus before reaching its final destination). Furthermore, he saw his loss and his understanding of it, to be a process that evolves and changes. Such ingenuity also demonstrated his use of culture as a resource and his flexibility was indicative of a higher APES rating. In sum, being at APES level 5, Andres’s inner voices of the native culture seemed to be linked via meaning bridge with the voices of host culture. His continuing bonds with the native culture served as a resource that helped Andres deal with the problem of loss and linked him to the new culture such that he could function in his new world, and achieve academic and personal success.

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A caveat is in order, however. There were many moments in the conversation with Andres in which he exhibited signs of lack of assimilation; his two cultural voices may have been opposing at times. For example in the following excerpts, he demonstrated how American he was (40 and 43); juxtaposed with his statement that he would never consider himself an American (76): Andres 40: And that happens to my family. They say you have been too far away; you do not remember things; you misinterpret things; you do not understand; you are too Americanized. And in my culture that is the worst thing (laugh), when people say to you you are Americanized.

Andres 43: Yes because I am always a visitor and sometimes I do research and I buy books. I visit places, visit people, but I do not live there in practical terms, and it irritates me- many things. I am too Americanized if I go to a library and ask for a book I think like an American

Andres 76: No, no. I would never say I am American.

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Tanu “Yeah mentally that what I said I am the same person but physically my dress change.”

Background Tanu was a 40 year old female immigrant from India who worked at a nursing home. She was married and had 2 children. She immigrated to the USA 13 years ago to join her mother and her sister. Soon after getting her permanent residency (green card), Tanu went to India to get married to an Indian man. After her marriage, she stayed in India for 2 years until her husband was able to receive his permanent residency in the USA. During her stay, she gave birth to her first child, then, as soon as her husband got his visa, the family moved permanently to the USA. They first settled in Okalahoma near her mother and sister and then moved to Oxford, Ohio. Tanu’s interview included 171 speaking turns. I. Context 1. Circumstances of immigration Tanu left India to join her mother and sister as well as to get good education: Hani 1: So this is the first question I will ask you: why did you decide to come to America? Tanu 1: It is a good question (Laugh), my sister is in Florida, and she was here, and she filed (immigration petition) for me. My mother was here; my sister sponsored me and my mother. Hani 2: So the purpose was to join them? Tanu 2: Yeah, and to get good education. Hani 3: So, it is a family reason and an education reason. Tanu 3: Both because my sister, her husband is a doctor and they came here. She wanted somebody to join her because she was alone at that time and my mother came and my mother sponsored me. 2. Role of Significant others Tanu’s social support, particularly her brother-in-law’s apparent social ties, allowed her to have access to other Indians in a regular basis and to practice her religion with them: Tanu 28: Because her husband (her sister’s) is a doctor, they go out so many times. Every week, there are so many parties and things like that. She has so many Indian

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friends from the same culture, and they came every week and we have Hindu prayers, so I did not miss that much. 3. Access to home country Although Tanu’s physical access to India was restricted, she was able to keep in touch with family regularly, over the phone: Hani 21: but how often do you go? Tanu 21: every 3-4 years. Hani 22: it seems that you are so connected with your roots. Tanu 22: yeah we talk every week. Hani 23: talk with? Tanu 23: my family in India. II. Worldview 1. Experience of loss of native culture Tanu felt that she lost her culture: Hani 11: Okay. So, what did you leave behind? Tanu 11: My culture. Hani 12: Can you say more? Tanu 12: It is really broad culture, and it is really different here and there, and we have arranged marriage and things like that. This loss included her ability to carry out her daily religious practices: Hani 15: and when you say culture, you mean family arrangements? Tanu 15: And religion because we are Hindus, and not too much Hindu temples and churches here not like in India. I think in Cincinnati there is only one temple. Tanu 106: It is like you know, we do not do much religious thing here. We do not have many temples, you know, that kind of stuff we really miss because we have so many Hindu festivals and we pray, but we do not have that here. We do not have time to do that here. When I was with my sister and there are many Indian people there and every week they have prayers in every person’s house and thing like that. Here, I do not have this kind of thing and in Oklahoma too. It is like everybody is studying and everybody goes to school; they do not have time to do this kind of stuff.

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2. Response to loss of native culture Tanu denied experiencing any loss and attributed that to the fact that most of her family members are in the USA: Hani 42: Is there any loss? Tanu 42: Only my sister is there, and some family is there. That is the only thing. Hani 43: But earlier you said that you miss many things, do you feel that these things were lost? Tanu 43: Well once in a week we go to a temple and this type of thing- family thing sometimes. Family members get married and we can go, things like that. She also denied loss since she said she could eat Indian food and go to her temple. Hani 44: So it is safe for me to say that you do not experience any form of loss because you can connect with your culture? Tanu 44: yes, we live, we still like Indian food. Everyday we eat Indian food and things like that. We live here but, like… (Silence) It seemed that Tanu was involved in a process of undoing of her immigration . For example, she went back to India immediately after receiving her permanent residency (green card). There, she got married and resided for two years until her husband got his own green card: Tanu 35: First, I came with an immigrant visa because my mother sponsored me, then I got my green card like after 3 months. Then, I went back to India and got married, and then I came back alone. At that time, he was a professor in India, and I had to get him the visa, then I came here and applied for him. Then I stayed here for 6 or 9 months at that time, then I went back and joined him, then we came back in 94. 3. Perception of native culture Tanu desired to pass on her native culture to her children, as the following excerpt highlights: Tanu 12: It is really broad culture, and it is really different here and there and we have arranged marriage and things like that. Hmm, I think my kids going to be the same way. Hani 13: That your kids will be the same way? Tanu 13: We want to, I do not know. Hani 14: So you want the kids to keep the culture? Tanu 14: We can get movies and Indian channels - so they can watch.

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However, she seemed to contradict herself since she wanted to transmit her values to her children, but did not help them learn the Indian language: Hani 39: Even your kids were born there and I am sure they speak the language. Tanu 39: Hmm, little bit we speak our language to them; they speak, like, sometimes Indian. They can get what we are talking. Hani 40: So they can understand but is hard for them to talk in Indian. Tanu 40: They are kind of shy because they worry about their pronunciation. Tanu did not rule out the possibility that she would return to India but she said that she worried about her children’s future because life was easier in the USA: Hani 115: What if things change and life is not easy anymore. Was there anything about America that would make you want to stay here? Tanu 115: Yes because I do not think now that my kids like to go back there. Hani 116: what about you? Tanu 116: Maybe we go back there and live there, I do not know, but I do not think my kids will go back there. They cannot like it. Maybe now they are too young. If we stay here more, they are not going to understand. Continuing bonds: Tanu’s inner cultural voices were triggered by her religious practices: Hani 16: so you feel you lost your culture? Tanu 16: I did not lose but kind of. There is not much possibility to go to temples and things like that. She kept her traditions, especially those related to marriage and dating: Tanu 32: Well, you know, my culture is very different from here; we do not go out- no dating or things like that. It is really different. My parents choose our partners- arranged marriage. The family arranged everything; I can say I do not like that guy it is okay. If I like him, they are the ones who do everything. However, her bond with her culture seemed to have impeded her mourning and she was not utilizing it as a resource. Rather, her bond kept her frozen in the past and inhibited her from experiencing change in her new country. Tanu 68: Yes in my mind I am the same person, in my mind that is how I feel. I did not change

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Hani 69: Nothing changed for 13 years? Tanu 69: In my mind I am the same person, but when I go to work or, when I go to, sorry, I do not know. Despite her assertion that she did not change as a result of coming to the USA, Tanu seemed unable to articulate the role of her culture in her adjustment: Hani 109: But did it (Hindu culture) help you? Tanu 109: Yeah. Hani 110: What role did it play in living your life in America? Tanu 110: No. Hani 111: How so? Tanu 111: I do not think so. I cannot say Hindu is a very good god and every god is the same and good. Every god has meaning and things. I am a Hindu, but I go to- most of my friends are Christians. I go to churches and in India too. Hani 112: Just having this rich religious life whether we talk about going to temples or churches. Did it help you? Tanu 112: I do not know. She also seemed irritated when the interviewer asked her about the role of her culture in her life: Tanu 124: It did not help me to stay here. How religion is going to help? I do not know- Why do you ask like that? Hani 125: What I am trying to see is whether your faith helped you Tanu 125: Well in India it helps me but here most of the people are Christians, it does not help. In these passages, Tanu discussed many negative aspects of her culture and contrasted them with positive aspects in the U.S. However, her differentiation was limited to materialistic elements. The following excerpts highlight this point: Tanu 79: They do not have AC (Air Conditioner) and they have fans, and here it is better, we have AC. When we go to India and then we feel, oh it is really hot. And Tanu 91: Well in India, it was hard to get to a good school and school admission and everything. It is really hard and admission is hard. Here it is easier. And

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Tanu 92: Here everybody has a car- not the same as in India. Maybe every house, one house (apartment building) has a car. So, life is easier. 4. Perception of the host culture In general, in response to questions about what she valued in the American culture, Tanu tended to provide examples of superior opportunities/ infrastructure as compared to that available in India: Tanu 69: In educational way here are more facilities- so many computers, everyone can get it. In India, ten students may share one computer. On the whole, Tanu was appreciative of the American culture in terms of how it made her life easier: Tanu 89: But life is better and easier here. She also indicated some forced changes she had to make in response to the demands of living here, such as having to wear pants in her workplace, which she did not, in India: Tanu 60: I cannot go to work with my sari, but I have to wear pants. I was shy about that, but then I became okay with that. Similarly, she had come to like American food after initially disliking it: Hani 65: So that was an example of the way you dress, was there another example? Tanu 65: The food, I did not like pizza, hamburger, or anything. I do not like, you know, because it is not spicy food. It was very hard when I go outside and eat; now it is okay. However, she illustrated a surface understanding of the USA in this passage limiting it to superficiality such as dresses and cosmetics: Hani 51: So there is an American part of you? Tanu 51: Yes, I think so. Hani 52: Can you tell me about it? Tanu 52: The dressing, modern cosmetics and everything is the same here and there. All kinds of stuff we can get there. The fashion is the same. Tanu seemed to have concerns about American life as well. She worried about the effects it would have on her children and her traditional Indian values. Thus dating, and the individualistic aspects of American culture, seemed threatening to her :

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Tanu 48: There are good things and bad things, that is what I think, I do not know. Here there are more facilities, more educational facilities. I think it is more advanced than India, but some things I do not like here, maybe, here it is going out with - dating like that. Hani 49: You are worried about your kids? Tanu 49: Not now (laugh). Hani 50: So there are good things and bad things here. Tanu 50: But there are also bad things and good things everywhere. 5. The relationship between the host and native cultures The three researchers investigating this case discussed evidence for and against the existence of a meaning bridge between the voices of her host and native cultures. They eventually struggled with the contrived nature of Tanu’s responses and were eventually split on their assessment of her assimilation process. There were important indicators of the possibility that Tanu experienced dialogue between the two cultures, albeit in very concrete ways. During her entire life in India, Tanu did not wear pants. As part of her job requirement, she was forced to wear them in the USA. Even though she was shy in the beginning, she had got used to it. It is important to remember the significance of making such a change in one’s attire, in light of her coming from a very different cultural background where pieces of clothing is not a simple matter of convenience, but is linked intricately to the socio-cultural and religious beliefs of people. Tanu made this change in spite of the psychological barriers she might have experienced to wearing pants. This represented her listening to her American side and adjusting her behavior to its demands. (See passage “Tanu 60” above) Although she felt that education in the USA was a much easier process than it was in India, Tanu accepted the challenge and managed both her family and job. It seemed that her adaptability to the American culture was tuned to achieving financial stability, and she was willing to make some changes to optimize her goal of such stability: Tanu 70: Well it was really hard that I study with my kids and my family. It was really hard because at that time I could not go to school. I had to take the evening class because I have to watch my kids and in the evening class, they do not teach

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anything, I have to learn all by myself. They give you the material and you have to learn by yourself. It was very hard, but after 3 months I got used to that. On the other hand, there seemed to be a lack of meaning bridge or dialogue between her Indian culture and the American culture; otherwise she could have acknowledged some changes as a result of being exposed to the American culture. She seemed to be frozen in the past. She strongly asserted that her life in the USA did not change her at all: Tanu 121: Yeah, mentally that is what I said: I am the same person but physically my dress changed. Hani 122: How about emotionally? Tanu 122: I am the same. Hani 123: How come America did not change that? Tanu 123: Laugh. Hani 124; Do you have theories about that? Tanu 124: (Murmuring) Hani 125: Remember no right or wrong answer here, I am just curious. Tanu 125: How can you change that? I do not know, I cannot. Tanu also reported that she did not have much exposure to the American culture for some time after she came here, since she did not join nursing school until three years before the interview and stayed at home, helping her sister. Thus, in many ways Tanu had been separated from the American culture, or clung to her Indian culture: Hani 47: So you were not exposed to the culture here? Tanu 47: Yes not much. I worked one year, and then I now stay home with my friends. Tanu insisted that demands from the American culture did not change her. In general, Tanu was adamant that deep down she was still the same person she was thirteen years previously, when she came to the USA from India. She consistently believed that she had not changed as a person after coming to the USA and believed that others in India noticed hardly any change in her character: Hani 81: But they (people in India) did not notice anything else about you that has changed from the way you are 13 years ago Tanu 81: I do not think so. Hani 82: What do you mean?

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Tanu 82: I do not think they think I changed. Hani 83: Are we talking about everyone? Tanu 83: My family and my husband family. Even as a student in the USA, she did not feel that this experience had changed her: Hani 71: But did this experience change you? Tanu 71: It did not change me. I know that after this, I can get more money and can help my family in financial way, and I had to change my career to get a job. I like nursing too. Hani 72: So you had to put up with this hardship because at the end it will be financially worth. Tanu 72: Yeah and wherever I go it is really a good job Tanu seemed to have a vague awareness of her likes and dislikes of each culture: Tanu 48: There are good things and bad things, that is what I think, I do not know. Here there are more facilities- more educational facilities. I think it is more advanced than India, but some things I do not like here, maybe, here it is going out with - dating like that. She seemed unable to express the differences between the two cultures beyond simple surface observations: Tanu 52: The dressing, modern cosmetics and everything is the same here and there. All kinds of stuff we can get there. The fashion is the same. Although Tanu said that she sees the good and bad of every culture, she was unable to articulate any good aspect of the American culture. She also could not verbalize any positive influences of the USA on her. 6. Character Collectivism Tanu had been dependent on her relatives in the USA, who helped her make her a smooth transition to the USA: Hani 29: so the transition was easy? Tanu 29: yes first time because and my mother was here my sister and her kids. Hani 30: did you stay with them for a long time? Tanu 30: like 9, almost one year.

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Hani 31: So their presence in your life I would safely say made your life easier. Tanu 31: yeah we made the same food and everything was almost the same. Assimilation Summary/APES Rating Before delving into the description of Tanu’s mourning process, it is important to note that the research team eventually disagreed on Tanu’s rating. The following factors might have contributed to the differences: 1. Her apparent discomfort with the interviewing process: Tanu had become increasingly irritated throughout the interview. The reasons for her irritation were not clear. She might have been uncomfortable with the questions and the personal/intimate context of the interview. She might have not wanted to explore her loss, or she might have been uncomfortable with the interview setting. This excerpt revealed her irritation with the interviewer when asked about her culture: Hani 124: Did this sense of pride help you. Tanu 124 : It did not help me to stay here- How religion is going to help? I do not know, why do you ask like that? 2. Her confusion with some interview questions and her inability to answer them directly: Tanu seemed to try to answer the questions to the best of her ability in concrete and tangible terms. She might have also been feeling shamed as if she was failing. So, while appearing to be terse, resistant and avoidant, she might also have been confused, uncomfortable, or not psychologically minded. For example, when asked whether the USA had changed her, she adamantly refused, but then shifted her discussion to the difference in educational opportunities between the USA and India. Tanu 68: Yes in my mind I am the same person. In my mind that is how I feel. I did not change. Hani 69: Nothing changed for 13 years? Tanu 69: In my mind I am the same person. 3. Her concreteness about the questions posed: Tanu seemed to be one given to conceptualizing or considering things in very concrete terms, hence her focus on concrete changes and differences (i.e., cosmetics, dress, AC, more cars, food, family): Hani 65: So that was example the way you dress. Are there other examples?

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Tanu 65: The food, I did not like pizza, hamburger, or anything. I do not like, you know, because it is not spicy food. It was very hard when I go outside and eat. Now it is okay. Hani 66: You can eat non-Indian food now? Tanu 66: Yes. Hani 67: But can we get deeper though. The way you see relationships. Tanu 67: I do not know . 4. Her answers were very brief and lacked insight and depth: Hani 11: what did you leave behind? Tanu 11: My culture. Hani 12: Can you say more? Tanu 12: It is really broad culture and it is really different here and there and we have arranged marriage and things like that. 5. Possible Cultural/gender barriers: There might have been some cultural barriers operating in the interview context. Tanu was interviewed by a male interviewer not previously known to her. In this context, unlike Nancy, who was willing to disclose even erotic dreams to the interviewer, Tanu might have been hesitant to share her deepest feelings about her sense of loss of native culture with him, due to cultural proscriptions about talking to a stranger about one’s family secrets, and personal life. Despite the difficulties encountered in this case, Tanu had made many remarks that were helpful in understanding her process of loss and mourning in immigration. The following is an attempt to summarize her assimilation process: Two of the researchers were inconclusive about Tanu APES stage and they made plausible arguments for a low stage of assimilation (APES stage 0) as well as for a high stage of assimilation (APES stage 5). One researcher (Hani) was adamant that she was only at stage 0. A separate reasercher had the opportunity to rate Tanu. She was inconclusive about Tanu’s APES stage and also made plausible arguments for a low stage of assimilation (APES= stage 0) as well as for a high stage of assimilation (APES=stage 5). Stage 0

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“(Warded off /dissociated): The immigrant is unaware of loss of native culture: A. Denial of loss may occur. This is manifested by conformity to the host culture or may be stuck in the past and not realizing any changes.” The rationale for this rating was as follows: 1) Tanu seemed clinging to her native culture and did not have the ability or willingness (resistance) to examine her loss, and therefore, mourn it. She could also be denying her loss of native culture (while not conforming to the host culture). Here, the defense mechanism of ‘undoing’ made sense, for, her not admitting to any internal change whatsoever in the past 13 years or her going back to India to get married could be seen as means of ‘undoing’ her loss. However one of the researchers cautioned that her resistance to examine the loss might have resulted from her discomfort with the interview setting. 2) Tanu also seemed to have actively avoided the discussion of loss during the interview. She was also superficial in her answers and was totally inarticulate of her experiences and emotion, something indicative of lower APES. 3) Despite the apparent bond she said she had with her culture, she could not explain how her culture had really helped her in her new country and was confused when asked about this issue. The interview did not reveal the importance of her culture in her life. For someone at this APES level, the continuing bond may exist for the sole purpose of providing solace, but it does not provide any resources for the immigrant. In effect, the bonds with the culture were used by her to retreat from the American culture. That is, the voices of the native culture were present but not assimilated to the voices of the host culture. 4) She also had a non-existent dialogue between her native and host cultural voices (see evidence for lack of dialogue above) . Stage 5 “(Application/working through). The immigrant continues his/her bond with the lost culture. In addition, assimilated lost culture provides solutions to the problems of isolation and depression that immigrants may experience.” The rationale for this rating was as follows: 1) Tanu showed some pretty balanced views of change and of her old and new cultures. She notes that "there are good and bad things everywhere" and that there is an

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American part of her, despite carrying on with many Indian customs. She also seemed to take a balanced view regarding her kids--they got exposure to both cultures and she realized that she could not force her (daughter) to adopt one or the other. She later said, "we learn in both cultures then we can pick up good things from here and there. If I live in India I am not going to learn this culture and my kid can learn the good from both cultures." So, it was clear that both voices were present and were not in directly conflict. 2) She might have a well differentiated Indian and American voice with the two in dialogue in very pragmatic ways, such as through the changes she had to make in her lifestyle (e.g. dress, doing a job in the U.S. while not working in India, food, adjusting to the difficulties in education) in order that she could ensure financial stability for her family, and secure her children’s future in this country. 3) Tanu also used her tolerant religious belief to be open to the American culture.

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Muhammad “I am split into 2 parts. I am confused…I feel torn now. When I first came I was so happy and settled… I always hope that things come back the way they were when I first arrived to America.” Background Muhammad was a 30 year old Iraqi male immigrant who had immigrated to the USA 12 years previously. He originally fled Iraq with his family in 1991 to avoid the murderous regime of Saddam Hussein. After spending a period of 18 months in a refugee camp in Saudi Arabia, he and his family were allowed to come to the USA as refugees. At the time of the interview, he ran his family’s grocery store with his brothers and lived with his parents and siblings in Dayton, Ohio. I conducted the interview in the Arabic language and translated it to the English language. Muhammad’s interview included 58 speaking turns. I. Immigration Context 1. Circumstances of immigration Muhammad and his family fled their home country, Iraq, to escape persecution by the regime of Saddam. He was relieved that he did that: Muhammad 14: I am saying thanks God because I did not have any other choice. I had to leave. Otherwise, I would have been killed. But thanks God because every country or land is a country of God. If you are a righteous, fair, and good person, and if you are organized, and if you love to feel safe, you can live anywhere. I will give you an example: Think of a bird. If it went to any place, it can survive, but if you lock it up, it won’t be happy because it will be afraid and terrorized. But if you leave it, it will be okay. 2. Political climate in the USA The political climate in the USA before the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 (9/11) might have helped Muhammad adjust to the USA: Muhammad 18: The principal of the high school was nice to me and asked students to sit next to me, but I was shy and withdrawn. I am still shy; I respect them though, thanks God. And I liked my teachers; one of them, Miss Davis. She was very nice. Everyone loved me and I did not cause any troubles. And my classmates liked me because I was very nice to them, thanks God.

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Hani 19: and are you still happy? Did things change? Muhammad 19: I had a better time here. However, after 9/11 his whole life turned upside down: Muhammad 25: Not only me, every immigrant feels that way. People changed and President Bush is increasing people’s fear and making it worse. He attempts to scare people, especially the rich, about terrorism. If you ask me, there are no terrorists, why do we scare our people? We can control our borders, but if you are paralyzing yourself with fear, then you become weak, and you will be attacked . 3. The role of significant others During the interview, Muhammad was living with his parents and his siblings. During a side discussion, he shared with me that his brother was his role model. Muhammad also ran the family business with his bothers. In this passage, he spoke fondly about his relationship with his mother: Muhammad 39: My mother used to help the poor and since I was young, I saw her. She always helped them; she is a great woman. We are 8 children; she raised us the best way she could. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers; 2 sisters study pharmacy and 2 sisters in the university. One of my sisters returned to Iraq with her husband, and we did not like that. 4. Access to home country Muhammad had not visited his country since he came to the USA. He thought of traveling to Iraq to get married, but worried that he would face the same difficulties faced by his brother when he attempted to do that: Muhammad 45: I want to go to Iraq and get a wife, but it is tough. They will give me hard time as they did to my brother. II. Worldview 1. Perception of loss of native culture Muhammad lost many good things (idea of home country, friends, family with a good reputation, money, books, land of ancestors): Muhammad 15: I will tell you, I lost my friends, the place in which I lived. We were a good, reputable, and rich family in Iraq. We were from the M family; we are descendents from the Prophet Muhammad. Our family was the first family to

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settle in Karbalaa. We had many books; my ancestors lived there. Our grandfathers were the first to settle. We were the first family to have a car. We were so famous there. We never thought of changing and moving outside Iraq because we were settled. We are not like those who wanted to leave their country because of economic difficulties. Hani 16: So the social status and the economic status were better? Muhammad 16: yes of course, I suffered a lot here because we have to start from scratch when we came here. We were penniless. We could not bring any money from Iraq. Departing the place in which he was raised brought both sadness and relief. The general theme that characterized Muhammad’s loss was that it was bittersweet. He lost many friends and the place where he grew up, but also left behind many bad things (destruction and torture associated with war): Muhammad 13: Well the first thing I left was the home country, the place in which I was raised, grow up, and loved. I left the place which I love but also has bitterness about it too. Thanks God I left my home country. After the destruction and torture there, I forgot the home country even though it is dear to me. You did not feel safe there, and you were not treated right there even though you belonged to this home. Moving to a new country was an opportunity for him to start a new life free of fear and terror: Hani 29: How about the things you left in your country do you miss them now? That is my question: Do they have new meaning? Muhammad 29… I surely loved hanging out with my friends, but I grew up with terror and fear. There was no safety in Iraq; every time the door knocked I got scared. Even when I came to America the first 2 weeks, I was scared of everyone who knocked on our door. Then, I started to be exposed to the new life. I learned the language; I started loving this country. I used to love American movies before coming to America. Americans are so polite. When we were in the plane, the waiters were very nice to us. We were so happy to get out of the desert to go to the green landscape. It is a whole different world- a paradise. When we landed,

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people were very nice to us and Americans helped us, and they treated us good, but things changed. 2. Response to loss of native culture It seemed that Muhammad had minimized the pain associated with losing his country prior to 9/11: Hani 43: How did you deal with that? Muhammad 43. Normally, we have a proverb: “If you make things big, they will be big, and if you make things small, they will be small.” I wanted to compensate what happened; I worked and went to school. I learned the language. Muhammad seemed to have dealt with the loss of his country by compartmentalizing his memories of it. He had not forgotten them, but they were kept tucked away and not often reflected on: Hani 44: So this made you forgot the things you lost? Muhammad 44: No I saved it in some account money (bank account), so it is like a computer; it can save anything you save in it. And the mind carries more than the computer. The mind has an instinct; it can love, but computer cannot love. So, Iraq was placed on a break time; you cannot go to a place and at the same time go to another one. However his compartmentalization was not a perfect strategy and occasionally failed to work: Hani 45: let us go back to the things you said about storing the past, do they try to creep back into your mind? Muhammad 45: yes sometimes- at nighttime Hani 46: Okay tell me more about that, what do you mean? Muhammad 46: you place your head on the pillow and you remember the past in Iraq: I was courageous and I was never scared of anything. I liked to play around, but my brother was so organized even more than women. My brother was a stay-home person, but I was not. I blame myself because I gave hard time to my mother. I was so active and I made her tired of me. 3. Perceptions of native culture Continuing bonds:

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The voices of his native culture were triggered by an Egyptian song that helped him respond to his negative American experience. His continuing bonds with his native culture appeared to help him cope with, understand, and come to terms with some of his pain: Muhammad 36: There is an Egyptian song: Smile to life and life will smile back at you. But how can you smile at the world if you feel threatened. Each hour a person from the government comes and asks us questions. They even take people and prevent them from hiring lawyers. His native cultural voices were also manifested by an Iraqi proverb that reflected his value system: Muhammad 38: I will tell you, I love values; I love to help people; I love to work and make money, but I do not like to keep the money. We have a proverb: do not let money control you, you have to control money. I love to help everyone, I love to help poor people; I love anyone; I have humanity . His continuing bonds also took the form of pleasant memory: Muhammad 53: So, I stored my past life and when I want to remember the old days, I stay alone and remember the good old days. Muhammad 54: I remember the good and the bad things back home. They are good things when I am alone and quiet; I try to remember my days. I try to remember them because if I get married, I have to tell my children about my memories. And sometimes people ask me about my origin and my old friends, so I do not forget the past. I remember the faces of my friends and I look at their pictures. I like to remember my life both in America and in Iraq. In this passage, Muhammad shared some of his past memories about his early years at school: Muhammad 46: I had a good group of friends and I was their leader. I was responsible and told them what to do. I liked to watch the movies; I liked to go the woods at night. I was playing, my peers were so afraid of me. I was courageous, but I was very careless in my school. I tried to change here so I started to get education. I had better schooling here, but in Iraq our teachers did not really care about us. They did not have any attention for us. This is the same thing as if the father does not care for his children, and if he does not become their friend and become honest with them, they won’t be happy. My brother was good to me.

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As the voice of the native culture fully expressed itself, he started to experience emotional discomfort during the interview. He was tearful and his voice was lowered: Muhammad 47…You know you reminded me with the good days. It was good days and bad days. Hani 48: would you like us to take a break? Muhammad 48: no it is okay. You reminded me with certain days that brought up a lot of emotions- sad and good. At this moment it was clear that Muhammad experienced deep pain while describing his traumatic uprooting from his country and his experience with racism in USA. Unfortunately, in response to his pain, I did not respond as empathically as I would have liked since I continued with my questioning. Luckily, I addressed his pain at the end of the interview and debriefed him for a considerable amount of time. 4. Perception of the host culture Muhammad discussed his initial fascination with the USA when he first arrived here. He appreciated Americans’ humane treatment of him and said that his first few years were the best years in his life: Hani 17: so when you first came to America how did you feel? Muhammad 17: it was a great feeling, I loved it. When I first arrived, I first visited the museum that is located near Dayton airport Hani 17a: The Air Force Base Museum? Muhammad 17a: yes and I continue to visit that. I am always proud that in Dayton we have this museum. The best times of my life I lived during that period when I first settled in America. I enjoyed school, and students were nice to me. They respected us and I respect them for that, they have humanity. I witness (testify) that American people have humanity and they attempt to help people; I witness that they have humanity. The USA helped him make up for the pain and anguish he experienced in Iraq: Hani 19: and are you still happy? Did things change? Muhammad 19: I had a better time in America. He also expressed some patriotic feelings regarding the USA:

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Muhammad 23: I am an American citizen; I respect my flag and respect my country and I reject when people burn the American flag. People should burn the picture not the American flag because I love my flag. But if you burn the picture of some person, they will say you have a problem with that person, but not with the country. If you burn the flag, I do not like that. Another excerpt illustrating this point: Muhammad 27: we supported him (Bush) when he fought Saddam and all the local TV channels, channel 7 and channel 2 and all the channels interviewed us, and we expressed support for Bush and criticized Saddam. We were then hurt by the government and were hated by some Arabs in the area because they love Saddam. Muhammad learned new values from the USA such as tolerance of the “other,” and cooperation without considering one’s race or religion: Muhammad 23: I learned in America that you need to work hard, and honestly, you have to work as a team, you have to forget about the religion when you work with other people. Christians work with Muslims, Muslims work with Jews, everyone works together so that they have the same goal achieved, for example, if you are building an apartment building in Iraq, you ask whether the one who is working with you is Christian or Muslim, and this will prevent the building from being constructed. However, despite his love for the USA, he lamented the fact it had been a very unsafe place for him after the events of 9/11. He said that he was reliving the fears of persecution due to intimidation by the USA government: Muhammad 20: But I will tell you something: we were happy and we settled down and we worked very hard, but after (9/11) things change drastically. We re- experienced terror once again. We relived the fear that we left behind in Iraq. The FBI interrogated each one of us- each Iraqi- and they asked us what do you do, do you help Saddam? And I know all Iraqis here; they have nothing to do with Saddam. They came and interrogated us and they placed the fear in our hearts. Despite his acceptance of many cultural elements in the USA, it seemed that the aftereffects of 9/11 had drastically challenged his views on the humanistic nature of this country:

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Muhammad 23: but after the events of 9/11, things returned- discrimination returned. I thought that America got rid of discrimination, but then discrimination returned. He also complained about an incident of racial profiling: Hani 24: So after 9/11 things changed? Muhammad 24: Yes everything changed; fear came back. I was driving to Michigan. I do not have a big truck; it is much smaller than an eighteen wheeler. So, I was supposed to drive at 70 mph, but there is new law that says you need to drive at 55, but everyone was driving at 70. The people there are tough and they do not negotiate with you, and there may be many reasons for that. Many people say that they are tough because there is a huge Arabic community there. I was also required to weigh my truck. Before 9/11 we did not have to, but now we have to go to the weigh station. I did not like to speed and I put the truck in cruise control and everyone was going at the same speed and my brother was next to me and he was talking to me. So, he asked me to buy fireworks and I told him I will do it later. Anyway, the policeman left everyone and picked me up and gave me a ticket. He probably saw the Arabic name on my truck and I was not speeding- there is no way I was speeding. I was driving with a speed like that of a turtle. He intentionally picked me up; I was little bit higher than the 55 miles per hour speed and I had to because we need to go on time. He told me that I was speeding and that I had extra weight, even though I had an empty truck since I weighed it earlier. 5. Relationship between the host and native cultures In the interview, we sensed an inner conflict between the American and Iraqi culture within him. We believed that this conflict arose from the reactivation of his traumatic experience in Iraq by his new traumatic experience after 9/11. Muhammad spoke openly and in a psychologically sophisticated fashion about the split he experienced between his two American and Iraqi voices after 9/11: Hani 28: So, let us talk about Muhammad the Iraqi and Muhammad the American before and after 9/11. So, who are you now?

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Muhammad 28: I am split into 2 parts. I am confused. I feel torn now. When I first came, I was so happy and settled. I now hope that things come back the way they were when I first arrived to America. Muhammad considered that this split resulted from constant feelings of intimidation and bullying by the USA government: Muhammad 30: I am an Arab. Many people are part of Chinese or Japanese communities; they understand each other and understand their concerns. After 9/11, our Arabic community lost their peace and their psychology had suffered, and many of them decided to return home. Many Iraqis returned home. Hani 31: so what changed? Muhammad 31: Government changed and people are nervous. Hani 32: How about your business? Muhammad 32: It was little affected. I will tell you, everyone is living in terror; America cannot reach a point where it can set people up because they are Arabic. They can set me up and frame me because I am an Arab. Hani 33: Are you talking about the Patriot Act? Muhammad 33: yes. Hani 34: But it is always good to make a noise about that and tell the media and expose these people who harass you. Muhammad 34: But the media is with them, all the media is with them. We used to think that media is about truth but they are not; they are helping this administration. The media always blows things out of proportion; they scare people. He suggested that he was only one-quarter Iraqi because he spent the best period of his life in the USA. However, he also said that he was split because of his fear of the rise of xenophobia in the USA. It also seems that the current conflict in Iraq brought up memories of war-torn Iraq when he was a teenager: Muhammad 35: I consider myself quarter Iraqi because the best time I had in my life was in America. Hani 36: So where is the split? Muhammad 36: the split comes from the return to fear and misery to my life after 9/11- it reminded me with the old fearful days.

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The conflict between his two cultural voices was represented by his contradictory statements about the USA. In the first part of this excerpt, he praised Americans for their humanity but then he contradicted himself and said that Americans do not have family values in comparison to Iraqis : Muhammad 41: I love both cultures. I like Americans because they are honest and have humanity; they like to help others and I cannot deny that. They have good nature and they have strong families. Some people come to the store and they have great manners. After Bush fought Iraq, many families came crying to me. They say he had no right to go there. I hope that all families in America reunite as they used t be. I wanted to go to people and churches to tell them that they need to have a sense of family. I used to love American movies. Americans do not have family bonds anymore. I used to watch cowboy movies and I liked them. Americans used to have strong families, even Americans say they used to have strong families. Hani 41b: so you worry about that? Muhammad 41b: I worry about them; I wish they return to the way they were-having strong families. I care about them; I want to help them. If they have no bond with their families, life won’t matter. He said that he loved Americans but then looked down at their manners. Notice how he suddenly used “them,” despite his assertion that he was American himself: Hani 49: well I want to know more about a specific issue. You gave me an impression that you do not have equal consideration for both cultures is that the case? I am puzzled. Muhammad 49: No that is not what I really feel, I love Americans. We are Arabs and we lived in Arabic country. Arabic manners and American manners are different. I respect them, but in our countries they teach us from young age this is right and this is wrong. Even churches in Arabic countries are different from churches here. They do not teach kids anything here. They do not teach good and evil. When I watch TV, they do not teach kids. They do not teach them about wrong things; they do not have a sense of family anymore.

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It seemed that prior to 9/11, the voice of old and new cultures were generally harmonious, with his American identity perhaps being somewhat more salient. Muhammad had a proverb that talks about learning something from every culture one is exposed to: Muhammad 22: We have a proverb in Iraq: every country you visit you will get cultured by it. So if you go to America, you complement your own culture with the American culture. We had a business in Iraq and in America our mentality became more open and we expand our business. Hani 22b: so you gained something? Muhammad 22b: yes, so when you travel to a new country you gain a culture. So if you deal with an Egyptian or an American you learn from their cultures. These passages might indicate that Muhammad was equally influenced by his two cultural voices before 9/11: Muhammad 39: you can say that half of my culture is from Iraq and the other half is from America- it depends on the house in which you were raised. Hani 40: So it is safe to say that you have the 2 cultures within you? Muhammad 40: I try to benefit from both; I try to give love and help Americans trust us. The media scared Americans and even the movies are scaring people of us. There was a movie, I do not remember, it is scaring people. I cannot remember its title. It tells you do not trust anyone. These excerpts reflected the balanced relationship and the meaning bridge that existed between his American and Iraqi voices prior to 9/11. Muhammad 38: I will tell you. I love values. I love to help people. I love to work and make money, but I do not like to keep the money. We have a saying: do not let money control you, you have to control money. I love to help everyone I love to help poor people. I love anyone. I have humanity. 6. Dreams Some of Muhammad’s dreams reflected his desire to have a meaningful dialogue between his American and Iraqi internal cultural voices: Hani 55: Do you have dreams about immigration? Muhammad 55: Well, every time I dream about something, it comes true. I will tell you a weird dream that happened to me. You won’t believe that, but the events of New

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York I dreamed about 2 days earlier. I told my family about the dream. Why did I dream like that? I will tell you: when a human being dreams about anything, it is because he wants to help this country. I wanted to help this country and wanted to prevent this country from terrible attacks. They (people of this country) helped me a lot and they saved me from my life in the camps at Saudi Arabia. They offered me a lot of help. They treated me very well. We have a proverb that you have to pay back the person who helps you. So for this reason, I acknowledge that they have helped me and I want to return the favor. So, in the dream I saw a huge cloud of black smoke- God almighty. And after 2 days, my mom called me and asked me to watch TV and I saw smokes from the buildings in New York, so I said God almighty. I was surprised. 7. Character Muhammad is incredibly resilient, demonstrating his adaptability and positive attitude. He illustrates these attributes through his metaphor of the bird: Muhammad 14: But thanks God because every country or land is a country of God. If you are a right, fair and good person, and organized, and if you want to feel safe, you can live anywhere. I will give you an example, think of a bird, if it went to any place it can survive, but if you locked it up it won’t be happy because it is afraid and terrorized, but if you leave it, it will be okay . Assimilation Summary/APES rating One of the most interesting issues raised by this case was an apparent regression in assimilation level following a traumatic event (9/11) and the fallout from that event. Researchers agreed that Muhammad’s APES level before 9/11 was a 5; however he regressed back to stage 3 at the time of the interview. APES Stage 5: “The immigrant continues his/her bond with the lost culture. In addition, assimilated lost culture provides solutions to the problems of isolation and depression that immigrants may experience.” Our rationale for this rating was as follows: 1) Muhammad was aware of positive and negative qualities of both Iraq and America

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2) Muhammad’s inner cultural voices were linked via a meaning bridge with the voices of the American culture and this as clear when he asserted that half of his culture came from Iraq and the other came from the USA. 3) He took pride in identifying as an American while not forgetting his Iraqi heritage 4) He seemed to function well at school, work, etc. without being overwhelmed by emotion 5) He was able to note how things seemed to be worse / more challenging post 9/11—suggesting that he wasn’t actively struggling before. We agreed that his rating was not higher than a 5 because of Muhammad’s tendency to idealize America and perhaps over-identify with being American. Therefore, being at this APES level allowed Muhammad to utilize his continuing bonds with his Iraqi culture as a resource in the land of immigration and his internalized cultural voices were involved in a cultural dialogue with the voices of the host American culture However, we also agreed that his APES stage at the time of the interview was 3: “Voices of lost culture emerge and may gradually assert and differentiate themselves from the voices of the host culture. Initially, the voices of lost native culture and the voices of the host culture may be involved in a rapid crossfire of contradictions and interruptions. The immigrant may exhibit inner conflict between the voices of the old and new cultures. Affect is manageable but not panicky .” Our rationale for this rating was as follows: 1) Muhammad never fully processed or assimilated some portions of his immigration experience, particularly those associated with the traumatic circumstances surrounding his decision to come to America. These memories that were not dealt with, but instead “kept in a safe” (i.e. dissociated), as he put it, had a tendency to creep back into his awareness. More of the bad memories seemed to come flooding back in light of 9/11. 2) Muhammad also indicated that he felt split or torn between the Iraqi and American cultures. 3) Muhammad exhibited immense negative affect (fear for safety; anger at America and its fall from its pedestal). 4) Muhammad spoke in a contradictory manner about America and Iraq Therefore, being at this APES level caused Muhammad’s the voices of his Iraqi culture] to become a source of conflict with the American culture. However, his bonds with his culture provided him with retreat type of solace

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So how can we explain his shift and the disturbance that happened to his mourning process? The traumatic events of 9/11 and their aftereffects seemed to have severely challenged Muhammad’s initial infatuation and idealization of America. They might have also reactivated the trauma of departing Iraq. Due to Muhammad’s tendency to compartmentalize his loss of his culture, he might have not assimilated some threads of his native culture to the host culture. The threads that were least assimilated seemed to relate to the traumatic aspects of leaving Iraq (being a refugee from a war-torn country) that were above and beyond typical problems associated with immigrating and leaving a culture behind. These more traumatic threads of his immigration story seemed to have been triggered and reactivated following 9/11, since his fears of uprooting arose once more. Hence, he was re-establishing links between the traumatic threads and his current experience of America. Muhammad had to actively struggle with memories of the warn-torn Iraq of his youth (and the similarities to present-day Iraq) as well as the notion that America was not as perfect or ideal as he once thought. These two recent struggles were intimately linked to Muhammad’s cultural identity and it seems that he was identifying more as and Iraqi and as an immigrant than before. This identification may explain his regression.

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Ayan “One of two: if you come somewhere and want to be alive there, so there is change, your life change. So if you want to go back, it is a different place, but if you want to stay, you have to go with the people. You live with them, their culture, you know” Background Ayan was a 45-years-old male immigrant from Somalia. He had arrived in the USA 11 years previously after spending 6 years in Italy. He worked as a taxi driver in Dayton, Ohio. He lived with a roommate and was not married. Ayan’s interview included 129 speaking turns. Although he had a substantial number of speaking turns, they were relatively brief. I. Context 1. Circumstances of immigration Ayan had to flee Somalia because of the civil war that ravaged his country during the last 20 years: Hani 1: My first question to you is: why did you decide to come to America? Ayan1: War happened in Somalia, a civil war in my country. I was a refugee. Hani 2: A refugee? Ayan 2: no, I was a refugee looking for a home. 2. Significant others Ayan settled with his brother when he first arrived in the USA: Ayan 6: I was in Rome, Italy and my brother was in America and he became my sponsor over there, then I come here, then I come to see him, then I am looking for a place where I can be alive and safe and in peace. That is why I come to the United States. His brother seemed to have helped him upon arriving in the USA: Hani 57: When you first came you said your brother sponsored you? Ayan 57: My brother helped me. Hani 58: What was his role? Ayan 58: When I first came, he did it right. 3. Access to home country Ayan had not visited his country since his arrival in the USA: Hani 59: Have you ever been to your home country?

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Ayan 59: No. 4. Political climate in America Ayan showed discomfort when asked about how he felt treated as an immigrant in the USA: Hani 82: Now there is a lot of Muslims complaining about their political condition, how do you feel in America? Do you experience discrimination or racism? Ayan 82: No, I do not know, I do not know. I have no idea (discomfort). And in this segment he denied that he experienced racism: Hani 110: Did you ever have an incident where you were called names or have been exposed to racism? Ayan 110: No. II. Worldview 1. Perception of loss of native culture At times, Ayan was rather vague about the things he had lost—saying nothing, or saying he lost everything. It also seemed as if he tried to forget the things he had lost: Hani 12: So what did you leave behind? Ayan 12: What is that? Hani 13: Did you lose things? Ayan 13: Why not? I lose everything you know Hani 14: So tell me, like what? Ayan 14: If you are living in a place more than 10 years, somewhere you lose too many things, you know. You forgetting, you know. I have been here 11 years, so I am trying to forget my mom and dad, and it is a long time. It is something else. It is a long time, you know that. So, everything is changed, everything is changed. However, after further inquiry from the interviewer, Ayan was able to say that he had lost friends, siblings, his culture, and food : Hani 17: So when you said you lost everything what did you lose? Ayan 17: I lose my friends, my brothers and sisters. My culture is going to be getting less, something like that. Already my life changes, so I am born and raised there, then I come here, and my life is adjusted in America now. The way I used to dress when I was there is changed; the food is changed; the culture changed. He also said he lost his whole country:

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Hani 41: very interesting, but going back to the things you lost, do you think about them? Ayan 41: Yes I lost my whole country. Hani 42: you think about that? Ayan 42: yeah yeah why not? I like to be get back the life. It is good life comes back to them (In Somalia, alluding to the peace they have there now) He talked about the loss of food, which might have been a part of his cultural experience and memory: Ayan 115: The food I used to eat in Somalia and the food I am eating here- it is different, you know. There is food, a culture I lost. He also talked about the loss of the community he had in Somalia : Hani 116: It seems that there were also good things in your country. Ayan 116: yes, I remember my parents sometimes, and neighborhood eating together, the culture food you know. I remember that. Hani 117: How do you feel when you remember that? Ayan 117: I see sometimes it is good. Hani 118: You miss that? Ayan 118: Yes I miss that. So the people, I never had like that after I came here- the people together somewhere. I miss that. 2. Response to loss of native culture Ayan seemed to have coped with his immigration by denying the things he lost and by blindly conforming to American culture. He did not seem to reflect on losses and in fact, he tried to forget them : Hani 31: Are there things then you do not have any more? Ayan 31: There is not everything that I can say I can forget it- just the life is better here, is better. The life is good for me, peace, and I have a work by myself, something like that. The next passage shows that Ayan might think about the past (it wasn’t totally blocked from his memory) but without acknowledging that it was painful in any way. He seemed resigned to focusing on the present and American culture and noted that he tended to shut down the memories when they come up: Hani 44: Do you have memories of your home? Do you think about the past?

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Ayan 44: Yes sometimes. Hani 45: What do you do about it? Ayan 45: Nothing, just remember. There was kind of dreaming. In the dream, I see everything in Somalia, but I am here and I cannot remember everything and nothing else. I am here, you know; I am losing you know Hani 46: Losing what? Ayan 46: Losing what I came from- I am human; your mind cannot keep everything. You see they are things that are going out of mind, you know that? Hani 47: So when you remember your country, what do you remember? Good or bad or both? Ayan 47: I remember my whole country, you know (Silence). Hani 48: What is the role of these things when you remember them? What is the role of them in your life? Ayan 48: It does not make sense for me whether I remember or not- It is good to know where I am. Hani 49: So when these things come to your mind, you shut them down? Ayan 49: Right (inaudible)- it is different world. It is important to live where I live 3. Perceptions of the native culture Researchers disagreed whether Ayan had a continuing bond with his culture, and whether this bond provided solace for him. I will provide evidence for and against the existence of this bond. Evidence for the existence of the continuing bonds: A. Ayan could see his country in his dreams: Ayan 45: I just remember- there was kind of dreaming. In the dream, I see everything in Somalia, but I am here, I remember everything and nothing else. I am here you know, I am losing you know. B. Ayan’s continuing bonds took the form of memories about his parents and neighborhoods: Hani 116: It seems that there were also good things in your country. Ayan 116: yes, I remember my parents sometimes, and neighborhood eating together, the culture food you know. I remember that. C. These bonds seemed to provide him with occasional solace:

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Hani 117: How do you feel when you remember that? Ayan 117: I see sometimes; it is good. Evidence for the lack of continuing bonds (or the lack of influence of the bonds?): A. Ayan felt that it was impossible for him to keep his culture alive in America and shared that his culture was slipping away: Hani 115: Is there something about your Somali culture that you did not lose at all? You said you lost everything; is there anything that you did not lose from your culture? Ayan 115: I am trying to keep it, but it is impossible for me. I do not know; there is nothing I can say. I cannot feel it is alright. B. Indeed, he felt that his culture does not work in the USA: Hani 37: so what happens to your culture in this process? Ayan 37: Nothing I can tell you, so what I mean my culture worked for me, but it does not work here. Hani 38: Does not work here? Ayan 38: Yeah, so the people they do not know unless you tell them. C. He also believed that his children could never adopt his native culture because they are Americans: Hani 39: what if you have children and get married; you will have the same attitude? Ayan 39: no they live here. Hani 40: So you do not want them to deal with your culture? Ayan 40: No No-they cannot. They live here, children they are where they are from. D. Ayan also believed he was losing his religion: Hani 84: So here is what I understood from you: you left your country in unfortunate circumstances because of civil war. You as a person feel that you have a better life than the one you had in Somalia. And when you remember things from the past, you lose it and you do not keep it inside, but then when you talk about religion you did not lose it. You said you lost everything but why not religion? Ayan 84: Religion, I am also losing religion; there are no exceptions: they are the same. Hani 85: You are losing your religion too? Ayan 85: Right. Hani 86: Tell me more about that.

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Ayan 86: So the religion, if you do not ask me about it, it is too big. You know that. “Believemenet” in your mind, you know that. So you believe it. I can say I am Muslim; I believe it, but maybe you can forget some parts. E. He did not care if his children would keep the Islamic faith (This is a huge taboo for Muslims and an important sign of Ayan's abandonment of his culture. Leaving the Islamic religion would be the worst abomination a Muslim could do and is punishable by death according to the Islamic law): Ayan 88: Maybe you forget parts of it Hani 89: Do you want your kids to learn about your religion? Ayan 89: I will try to teach them. Hani 90: What if they say they do not want to. Ayan 90: They are free. F. He also felt that he had changed to the extent that he had lost where he came from Ayan 32 : The life is changing you. Every morning when you are waiting for someone-16 years you know. How you were in Somalia it is different, so here already you are adapting. Where I come from is different. If I go back home, it will take me a time to change back. And Ayan 47: Losing what I came from, I am human your mind cannot keep everything, you see, they are things that are going out of mind, you know that? 4. Perception of the host culture He described the changes he had experienced as a result of living in the USA, and said that they were “forced:” Hani 23: I am trying to understand how was it for you to lose all the things you told me about? Ayan 23: One of 2: if you come somewhere and want to be alive there, so there is change, your life change. So, if you want to go back, it is a different place, but if you want to stay, you have to go with the people, you live with them, their culture, you know. Hani 24: So you try to adapt? Ayan 24: Right; the life is forcing you.

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Ayan asserted that he needed to “act like an American” in order to survive in America Hani 33: Are you a person influenced by both cultures? Seems that you took some part of the American culture. Ayan 33: I use it for most of my life is in America now. Hani 34: Tell me more. Ayan 34: Like you are now, that is what I live, nothing that I can I say. That is why I am not in Somalia, so I am here, I am I am, yeah, nothing I can say. I have to go with them; I go with the people who they are. He had adopted many values from the American culture, even if they did not fit into his culture so as to avoid clashes with American citizens: Hani 36: Let me try again, you said I have to do the same thing as people do here. What if the people here do something that people in your culture do not do, would you take everything from them? Ayan 36: Yes I am trying my best. If you do not, then there is a clash between the person, and you. You live with them; you have to respect them. You have to respect their culture, so they do not know you. You live with them, you know that, you know your culture and you come here, you are a new comer here right? So, you have to respect their culture and know them before anything happen- maybe some things can happen. You have to have experience. However, contrary to the changes which Ayan described as feeling forced, some changes resulted in a better life since he had more independence and freedom, coupled with safety and peace: Ayan 28: I have experienced both sides: where I came from and where I am now. I can deal with both sides. I know where I live, and how is the life now. Actually, I lived with my parents in Somalia and here I live by myself. My parents were responsible for me in Somalia, but here I am responsible for everything, myself, my life . I have to earn-it is big difference you know. Hani 29: How is this for you? Ayan 29: It is better- you are using your hand you are not waiting for someone else to help you . When you feed yourself, that is the best. Hani 30: so you have a sense of independence?

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Ayan 30: Right right. Hani 31: Are there things then you do not have any more? Ayan 31: There is not everything that I can say I can forget it- just the life is better here, is better. The life is good for me, peace, and I have a work by myself, something like that. Ayan also felt that living in America has changed many aspects of his experiences as a human being: Ayan 17: The way I used to dress when I was there is changed. The food changed. The culture changed. Hani 18: How did it change? Ayan 18: Your life when you are somewhere and when you live with some people, you are gonna be like them Hani 19: How so? Ayan 19: Something like that you know. He identified with America to the extent that his acquaintances told him that he looked American: Hani 61: Did they tell you that you changed? Ayan 61: They say my face changed Hani 62: What else? Ayan 62: They said you look like American Hani 63: What about that? Ayan 63: They told me you are different, you know. He also felt that he had to work hard in America Ayan 122: I am running in this country, I tell you the truth. Hani 123: What do you mean? Ayan 123: Running, working hard. I have 3 hours, 4 hours sleep. I am looking for a life. I am dreaming to take some. But may be (inaudible). 5. Relationship between the native and host cultures Ayan seemed to have a difficult time grasping the idea of maintaining two cultures simultaneously, and them interacting internally. Instead, he described all Americans as immigrants and likened the experience of coming to school, in that one learned many subjects (old culture), but could not

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possibly maintain all of the information. Instead, when these subjects were encountered, they were remembered. For Ayan, losing his ties with his culture was not intentional; rather, it seemed that forgetting his culture was something that helped him avoid painful memories of associated with loss: Hani 124: But can you be Ayan the Somali and Ayan the American, why do you need to get rid of Ayan the Somali? Ayan 124: Most Americans, even American persons, they are immigrant. Hani 125: Sure, so you think everyone who comes here leaves their cultures and adapt totally to the American culture? Ayan 125: Actually the person you forget some things . When you go back to school, you have many subjects, do you remember all of them? There is something you do not know but you lost. But when you see it, you can remember, you say, oh! You are not doing anything to lose your culture, but it is going out, and it is not intentional from you. In this example, Ayan seemed to find it difficult to reflect on how he had been influenced by the differences in culture and instead, focused on trivial things in America (e.g., roads): Hani 26: So how did you react to this difference? Ayan 26: I cannot drive when I am in Somalia, but I am driving now. The town is different; we do not have freeways, highways like this here, roads something like that. Too many things that are different you know . Ayan also seemed to experience an incompatibility between his native culture and the host, American, culture. There was resistance from the native towards the host, and vice versa, and he seemed to be largely unaware of it. The conflict of the two cultures was indicated in his assertion that his children should not integrate native and host cultures: Hani 37: so what happens to your culture in this process? Ayan 37: Nothing I can tell you, so what I mean my culture worked for me, but it does not work here. Ayan 40: No No, they cannot, they live here, children, they are where they are from… He was also ambivalent about staying in America or going back to Somalia. He said he wished to return to Somalia: Ayan 42: yeah yeah why not. I like to be get back the life.

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But then contradicted himself: Ayan 105: No. It is alright here. I prefer to live here. Ayan asked to leave in the middle of the interview because of a prior engagement despite his agreement to spend 90 minutes with the interviewer. One must ask, did he have a prior engagement, was he bored with the interview, or did he want to flee because warded off problematic experiences were beginning to emerge? Ayan 50: More interview? I like to go because someone I need to pick up. Someone is waiting for me somewhere you see. I do not think there is anything else. Assimilation Summary/ APES rating We rated Ayan as APES stage 0: “The immigrant is unaware of loss of native culture. A. Denial of loss may occur. This is manifested by conformity to the host culture or may be stuck in the past and not realizing any changes” Our rationale for this rating was as follows: 1) Throughout the interview, Ayan seemed to be vague about his loss of native culture. He did not completely deny losing anything, but his discussion of the things he lost came only after prodding from the interviewer 2) It seemed that Ayan lived from day-to-day with little reflection on his past. And when memories did emerge, they didn't seem to be connected with any emotional pain or suffering. 3) The voice of the lost culture seemed to be mostly warded off and there were few examples of its presence . He could list things he lost (even then it required some prodding), but there was no sense that this loss had impacted him negatively. 4) He concretely and rationally accepted that he had to forget the past and embrace the American culture in order to be successful here. He did not see that the native and host culture could be compatible. 5) He did not seem to have any awareness that immigration was a problem to be assimilated (now or in past). 6) It was unclear what his values and expectations were while living in Somalia. The voice of the host culture seemed much more prevalent—the many examples (see above for some) of how Ayan said he had to accept American culture if he was living here. He also

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hoped that his wife and children would identity with being American since they would be living here. Despite obtaining apparent solace from his continuing bonds with the native culture, it was also seen as a threat to his success in the USA However, we also found some features of APES stage 1: “As soon as the immigrant is exposed to news, images, and people from his/her native country, a conflict arises and the immigrant may try to repress them. Immigrant continues to deny or cling.” This was revealed in 1) His active forgetting of his culture and his assertion that it was incompatible with the American one 2) His discomfort with the interview 3) His assertion that the changes were “forced” on him We ultimately decided that he was at APES =0. If he was at APES stage 1, one would have seen moments of sharp pain, albeit short and fleeting. Also, if he was APES stage 1, he might have made some reference to feeling distressed or that his immigration experience was not perfect. Being at this APES level restricted the expression of his continuing bonds to being a source of solace at best. Table 2 summarizes the salient features of each of the seven cases

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Table 2: Case Summaries

Stage of Participant Assimilation Summary of Mourning Process

Ayan seemed to be vague about his loss of native culture. He did not completely deny losing anything, but his discussion of the things he lost came after prodding from the interviewer . He seemed to live from day-to-day with little reflection on his loss. And when memories emerged, they didn’t seem to be connected with any emotional pain or suffering. The voices of the lost Ayan APES= 0 culture seemed to be mostly warded off and there are few examples of their presence . He concretely and rationally accepted that he had to forget the past and embrace the American culture in order to be a successful immigrant. That is, he did not believe that the native and host culture could be compatible with each other.

Fen expressed her deep sadness and frustration for leaving her country. Fen also felt that her loss of native culture is irreparable and wanted to undo it by hoping to relocate to China upon finishing her Master’s degree. Her mourning was also complicated by her inability to visit her home country due to visa restrictions. Fen APES= 2 Fen seemed to avoid the feelings of sadness and did not examine her loss through busy work and occupation, which suggests that she might have ‘warded-off’ her loss, a quality indicative of a lower APES stage.

Nancy verbalized many painful experiences that were related to her immigration. She was also conflicted about whether she should stay here in the USA, or go back to Spain and she explicitly said that she was “torn” between the two countries. Her conflict was also represented by her ambivalence about her desire to start a family (by moving back to Spain) and her desire to keep Nancy APES= 2.5 her free and independent life style as a single woman, who lived her life to the fullest (as represented by her pull to the USA). However, because Nancy’s conflicts/contradictions between her Spanish and her non-Spanish voices had not fully emerged , and because of her successful efforts to avoid and stifle this conflict, we ultimately decided that she was midway between APES stage 2 and APES stage 3 (i.e. APES stage, 2.5)

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Case Summaries Contd.

One of the most interesting issues raised by this case was the apparent regression in assimilation level following a traumatic event (9/11) and the fallout from that event. Researchers agreed that Muhammad’s APES level before 9/11 was a 5; however he regressed back to stage 3. Before 9/11, Muhammad maintained Muhammad APES=5
3 bonds with Iraq (e.g., proverbs, songs) and used this connection to assimilate and learn from his new culture. That is, his inner Iraqi voices were linked via a meaning bridge with the voices of the American culture. After 9/11, however, Muhammad was split or torn between the 2 cultures and regressed in his assimilation.

The researchers were inconclusive about Tanu’s APES stage and made plausible arguments for a low stage of assimilation (APES stage 0) as well as a high stage of assimilation (APES stage 5). It is possible that Tanu represented a person who was clinging to her native culture and did not have the ability or willingness to examine her loss of native culture, and therefore, mourn it. She could also be denying her loss of native culture while not Tanu APES= 0 or 5? conforming to the host culture. On the contrary, she might have well differentiated Indian and American voices with the two in dialogue in very pragmatic ways, such as through the changes she had to make in her lifestyle (dress, doing a job in the USA while not working in India, food, attitude about racism that was adaptive, adjusting to the difficulties in education). This possible dialogue helped her ensure financial stability for her family and allowed her to secure her children’s future in the USA.

Andres’ voices of the lost and host culture were in dialogue with one another. He was able to hold both perspectives/voices in mind simultaneously. This had allowed him to build meaning bridges or shared understandings. He was able to exercise his intellectual and individualistic desires by being a professor and acting American Andres APES= 5 in that sense. Alternatively, he could access the voice of his lost culture by singing the tango and by doing traditional rituals when his mother died. However, there were many moments in the conversation with Andres in which he exhibited signs of lack of assimilation, especially with regards to his contradictory statements about his life in the USA.

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Case Summaries Contd.

Both native and host cultures seemed to enrich Diego’s life and allowed him to have an inner dialogue between them. This dialogue gave him a “deep sense of being” and prevented him from “living on the surface.” That is, he was not living “just Diego APES= 6 superfluously.” This dialogue was also translated into action. Meaning bridges between cultures, native and host, manifested internally, as he consulted each in his daily life, and externally in working to build communication and friendship between both nations in his professional life. He also had a sense of pride in his cultures, both native and host: he displayed the USA with pride, while in Mexico, and displayed Mexico with pride, while in USA

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Chapter 4: Discussion Seven immigrants, who came from a variety of cultural, socioeconomic, and religious backgrounds, were judged to be at varied levels of assimilation of loss (Range of APES= 0-6, Table 2). That is, their various responses to loss of native cultures matched many of the proposed descriptions of different stages adapted from the assimilation model’s sequential conceptualization of loss and mourning in immigration. In the following sections, I use observations and concrete examples from the case studies presented above to make suggestions and interpretations about the theory of loss and mourning in immigration. These observations might or might not generalize to other cases and were derived from the collaborative efforts of this study’s researchers, who also reviewed the following sections and added many modifications to them. I will specifically explore the role of immigrants’ context and worldview in understanding the manifestations of the participants’ continuing bonds with their lost cultures as the process of assimilation of lost culture unfolded. Figure 2 illustrates that the level of assimilation of each participant was related to the manifestations of his/her continuing bonds and was influenced by his/her context and worldview.

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Figure 2: The role and function of the continuing bonds based on the APES level

Context Worldview

C.B. = C.B. = C.B. =

Solace Solace + Problem (clinging) Conflict solution

APES Stages 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Lower Levels Higher Levels C.B. = Continuing Bonds A. Participants rated low on the APES and their continuing bonds (Fen, Tanu and Ayan) At this level, the voices of the native and host cultures were not assimilated to each other. The participants spoke either with the voice of the native culture (i.e. clinging to native culture) or with the voice of the host culture (i.e. denying the loss and possibly idealizing the host culture). In the case of clinging, the participants’ continuing bonds with their native culture provided both solutions and problems, and that is reminiscent of clinical symptoms, which could also have these paradoxical roles. That is, these bonds provided them with solace in the land of immigration and helped them tolerate their immigration-related loss, but caused them to retreat from their host culture and cling to their native one. Perhaps these participants used the solace provided by their bonds to avoid dealing with the new reality of immigration that necessitated their integration of their native and host cultures. For example, Fen’s inner voices of her native culture were triggered by Chinese art and the natural beauty of China and that provided her with solace and gave her a safe place to retreat when graduate school became too stressful. However, she isolated herself from the American culture and resisted its influence on her. Fen wanted to

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take the good values she learned about the USA and its citizens back to China without assimilating them into her experience as an immigrant. She also resisted giving expression to her newly developing American voice in her daily life activities. Similarly, Tanu’s inner cultural voices were triggered by her Hindu religion and her Indian food and that provided her with solace but kept her frozen in the past since she resisted the notion that spending 13 years in the USA had changed her. These participants’ worldviews seemed to have shaped the way they responded to their cultural losses and might have led them to separate their inner representations of host and native cultures. For example, Fen felt that the Chinese and the American cultures were mutually exclusive and that they could not coexist within her. She questioned the practicality of integrating them and wondered whether she could be whole again. Her American voice grounded her in a pragmatic way to accept the new reality of immigration, but her Chinese voice yelled for her to go back to China, and as a result, an inner cultural dialogue between her native and host cultural voices was non-existent. Similarly, Ayan felt that he could not integrate the American and Somali cultures since he was concerned that the Somali culture “could not work” in America. Participants at lower APES stage also seemed to have a one-sided appraisal of the USA. For example, Fen identified Americans as “good Christian people” and strongly denied that racism exists in the USA. She also felt that Black people “should not complain about racism because they are given everything.” Also, Ayan, who idealized the USA, could not articulate the influence of the American culture on his life beyond his fascination with its huge roads and highways. On the other hand, contextual factors seemed to have negatively influenced the assimilation process of these participants. In the case of Ayan, departing his native country for fear of religious/ethnic/political persecution seemed to have hampered the assimilation of his native culture. The civil war in his country and the immense pain he experienced during that period seemed to have caused him to marginalize his culture and not reflect on his loss. Therefore, despite providing solace to Ayan in the land of immigration, his bonds with his Somali culture were not utilized as a resource. Easy access to home country also seemed to impede the process of mourning in some of these participants, but not others. For example, Tanu’s easy access to her home country allowed her to go back shortly after receiving her green card, to get married, and to reside there for two years before was able to bring her husband to the

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USA. Her easy access to her home country might have led her to undo her immigration and resettle in India for two years thereby preventing her from dealing with the reality of immigration and its accompanied loss. On the contrary, Fen’s restricted access to her home country for fear of losing her chance to obtain her USA permanent residency (green card) seemed to have inhibited her mourning of her native country. She appeared to have developed an idealized image of China, especially its physical beauty due to her restricted access to this country. This idealistic image might have inhibited her from having a more realistic understanding of the positives and negatives of her native culture and might have convinced her that nothing could compensate her for the loss of her country. B. Participants rated intermediate on the APES and their continuing bonds (Nancy and Muhammad) As some participants progressed in assimilating the loss of their native culture (APES= 2- 3), the internal voices of their native culture were conflicted with those of the American culture, and a negative affect took place. They developed continuing bonds with their native culture that provided them with solace in dealing with their cultural losses; however, this solace was not a retreating solace any more. Rather, the solace provided by their continuing bonds was accompanied with a sense of inner conflict between the old and new cultures. For example, Nancy’s inner Spanish voices were triggered by her interest in studying her culture, by homeless individuals in Spain, and by her thoughts about her childhood friends who already got married. She received solace from her bond with her culture; however, she experienced a contradiction/conflict between her Spanish and American voices and this conflict created some painful experiences. Similarly, and after 9/11, Muhammad’s inner Iraqi voices were triggered by Egyptian songs and Iraqi proverbs. His bonds provided him with solace; however, he experienced a conflict between his Iraqi and American experiences. Laosa (1999) suggested that attempts to adopt some aspects of the host culture may prove extremely taxing for many immigrants since they have to deal with many challenges including reverence and loyalty to the native culture, threat to one’s identity, the difficulty of the task of adapting, fear of failure, fear of rejection of one’s group, and doubts about the acceptance of the host culture. These participants’ worldviews seemed to have influenced the way they responded to their loss. For example, they used strategies to ward off their loss of native cultures such as:

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a) Clinging: Nancy seemed to cling to her culture through her unwillingness to embrace the American culture more fully. b) Denial: For example, Nancy denied that she was an immigrant despite living in America for 15 years and attributed that to the fact that she did not emigrate for financial reasons. She also claimed that she belonged to many undifferentiated categories in the American population but was not specific about to which ones she belonged. c) Compartmentalization of loss : (dividing loss into separate parts; also see below): Muhammad never fully processed or assimilated portions of his immigration experience, particularly those associated with the traumatic circumstances surrounding his decision to come to America. Further, these participants did not have a holistic perspective on the American culture since they either dissociated themselves from it or blindly idealized it. For example, Nancy, who seemed to have troubles mourning her culture, actively rejected any association with the American culture. She asserted her “non-Americanness,” and maintained that she never had had, nor ever would have, any intent of becoming an American citizen. Nancy also rejected the notion that she has an American life style. Similarly, Fen felt alienated from the American culture and was not interested in learning about many aspects of this culture. Despite having a positive picture about the USS and its citizens, Fen felt that it was too late in her life to accept a new American part in her and wanted to take positive American values back to China. Contextual factors seemed to have shaped the mourning process of these participants. Those who came to the USA for the purpose of joining loved ones experienced conflict between the native and American cultures. For example, Nancy, who moved to the USA to join her American lover, seemed to be at a lower level of assimilation and was experiencing an inner conflict between her Spanish and non-Spanish cultural voices. When her reason for immigration ceased to exist (i.e. dissipation of her romantic relationship), Nancy seemed conflicted about her decision to stay in America and expressed her ambivalence over her choice to leave her home country for her lover. These participants were also embraced by significant others who already adjusted to the new country of immigration. For example, Nancy’s lover contained her and prevented her from adjusting independently to this country. As a result, she seemed to have difficulties developing strong meaning bridges between the voices of her native culture and those of her daily life in America. Fen also relied on her husband, who stayed in America for a period

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of time before she joined him. She disclosed that she totally depended on him, and this might have prevented her from experiencing the reality of losing her culture. However, gender factors might have played a role in these two cases. According to Erez and Bach (2003), migration exacerbates the gender-linked vulnerability of women since it makes them further dependent on, and places them at the mercy of husbands, intimate partners, and their own ethnic/racial communities. Perhaps the slow mourning process of these women was linked to this sense of vulnerability. C. Participants rated high on the APES and their continuing bonds: (Diego and Andres) With more progress and mourning taking place, (APES= 4-7), a meaning bridge was established between the inner voices of the lost culture and those of the host, and participants initiated a meaningful dialogue between the two. Theoretically, when an immigrant is secured in his/her identity and is proud of own cultural heritage, integrating this identity with the new one would be a natural process. He/she would gradually construct a new cultural dialogue that may help him/her experience both personal and professional growth in the new country. Therefore, for these participants, their continuing bonds with the native culture had become a resource by linking them not only to the native culture but to the host culture as well thereby helping them adjust to their new countries. For example, Andres’s educational privileges and his ability to study his culture allowed him to develop continuing bonds with the native culture. These bonds provided him with resources that helped him adjust to the new reality of immigration and integrate his new and old worlds. He might have been involved in what Laosa (1999) called a process of additive cultural transition, which is a process in which an individual may bridge two different cultures such that no loss occurs when an elements of the other culture is acquired. This transition seems to be also “adjustive” if it met one’s needs and expectations and most of the demands placed on him/her by the new culture (Laosa, 1999). Similarly, Diego discussed his smooth transition between the two cultures. He also felt that he could slide under the skin of one culture or the other, depending on the context. This was shown in his ability to switch languages, based on his comfort level, as well as what may be expected of him. From an assimilation perspective, his internal voices of the lost culture were linked via meaning bridges with his inner voices of the American culture, and this linkage resulted in creating a dialogue that enriched his life and gave him a “deep sense of being.” He also used this inner dialogue to establish cooperation/alliance between his Mexican and American universities. Diego appeared to have a

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mature acceptance of both cultures, where he neither blindly idealized one culture nor entirely derogated the other . When he was in Mexico, his American side emerged in his demand for cleanliness and order. When he was in America, he wore his Mexican shirts and talked about his pride in his culture. Diego continued his bonds with his culture by his visits to local Mexican restaurants, by speaking in Spanish with his daughters, and by making new friends in Mexico even after his departure. His bonds provided him with resources and linked him both to his old and new cultures. These participants’ worldviews seemed to have shaped the way they responded to their cultural losses. They acknowledged the loss of many elements of their cultures and accepted it as a part of their existence. For example, Andres seemed to have many philosophical views about loss in general. He asserted that loss is a trauma that is constantly evolving and equated himself to someone who departed a bus before the end of its journey. He also saw loss as an opportunity for personal and professional growth. Andres also said that he responded to his loss by appropriating it and by constantly interpreting its meaning for his life. He also remained connected to his host culture through his tango, his professional work, and studying his native culture. Similarly, when asked specifically about his perceptions of his cultural losses, Diego acknowledged his loss of his friends and the way he used to live. He also felt that his cultural losses had influenced his life but asserted that they were not irreversible. Diego said that he responded to loss of his native culture by carrying an “emotional backpack” with him in his new environment. This emotional backpack included his ideals, values, and moral beliefs. Further, these participants were able to articulate the changes that took place in their lives as a result of their new cultural exposure to the USA. They had a realistic appraisal of the pros and cons of their newly acquired culture. For example, Diego perceived the American culture as representing a unique opportunity for him to improve the quality of his life. He also utilized the educational privileges that he had been given in this country. Diego also enjoyed the efficiency and punctuality of the American system; however, he also understood its limitations, especially the lack of friendships, and resented its machine-like form of existence. Andres also had a deep appreciation of the American life style, the educational and technological privileges America provides, and Americans’ direct communication, courtesy, and individuality; however, he expressed his frustration with American politics, especially conservatism and resented the interpersonal distancing that characterizes American relationships. These participants also had a

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balanced appraisal of the American political/government/societal system with its positives and negatives. For example, Diego reflected on the influence of Capitalism on interpersonal relationships in America, and the inevitability of the mechanization and automaticity of human beings as a result. However, he also appreciated the freedom and the efficacy of the American system. Similarly, Andres said that he would always feel marked because of the way he looked and talked thereby acknowledging his position as an immigrant. He also expressed his frustration with American conservatism and wars. However, he was deeply appreciative of economic and academic privileges that America provided to him. Contextual factors seemed to have influenced the outcome of the mourning process for those participants. Based on our assimilation-based conceptualization of the data, emigrating for the purpose of achieving financial stability or pursuing educational opportunities seemed to facilitate the mourning of native culture by some participants. For Diego and Andres, it seemed that their choice of coming to America to pursue academic goals and achieve economic stability gave them a sense of control and accountability for the decision of departing their own lands. Such sense of control could have facilitated their mourning; in that their bonds with their native culture had become a resource and helped them engage in a process of cultural integration between the native and host cultures. Another contextual factor that facilitated the mourning process of these participants was the absence of significant others in the host country. For example, Diego discounted the influence of others on this adjustment and attributed his success to himself. The reality of losing his culture might have become more salient for him due to the lack of social support, and this might have allowed him to get in touch with it, develop a continuing bond with it, and eventually mourn it. It should be noted that these observations about Diego may provide a support for a study by Faroughi, Misajon & Cummins (2001) in which they found no relation between subjective social support and the subjective well being of Persian Australian immigrants. The interaction between the immigrant’s context and worldview and its role in loss and mourning: The interplay between the immigrant’s context and worldview could also explain the differences in response to loss and the manifestations of the continuing bonds (Figure 2 above). For example, Nancy moved to the USA so as to join her lover (i.e. circumstances context) , who sheltered her from experiencing the loss of her culture (i.e. role of significant others context) ,

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might have caused her to both deny and cling to loss (worldview ), and reject any part of the American culture in her (worldview). Similarly, Muhammad’s might have experienced an inner conflict between his American and Iraqi voices because of the interplay of the hostile political climate in the USA (context) and his newly revised perceptions of the American culture (worldview ). Finally, Ayan might not be receiving solace from his culture because of the interplay of his circumstances of departing his home country (context) and his idealization of the host culture (worldview ) as well as the marginalization of the native one (worldview). Ayan’s traumatic departure from his country (context ) and his denial of losing it (worldview ) might have restricted the function of the continuing bonds to only providing solace. On the contrary, the interplay of Diego’s repeated access to his home country (context) and his deeply appreciative perspective of his native culture (worldview ) allowed the continuing bonds to take an integrative role in his life and also created an enriching cultural dialogue with the American culture (worldview). Immigrants’ context and worldview also seemed to be interdependent aspects. Examples of the influence of one’s immigration context on his/her worldview were shown in the cases of Fen and Diego: Since Fen had to come to America to join her husband rather than achieving any educational or career goals (context ), she rejected the American culture and failed to assimilate its influence into her experiences (worldview). Conversely, Diego came to America to achieve educational and career goals ( context) , and this helped him accept and integrate the American culture with his own Mexican culture ( worldview). The political climate (context) also influenced the way Muhammad revised his perception of the American culture (worldview). His exposure to racism (context) had helped him revaluate his idealization of the American culture (worldview) and allowed him to have a more realistic appraisal of his status as an Arab immigrant in the USA (worldview ). On the other hand, examples of the influence of immigrant’s worldview on her/his context were shown in the cases of Andres and Ayan. Andres’s fascination with the Montevideon culture (worldview) prompted him to seek access to his country (context) so as to keep his continuing bonds with it. In the case of Ayan, his over-identification with, and idealization of the American culture (worldview) caused him to deny the existence of prejudice against Muslims in this country (context).

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Continuing bonds Vs Grief work models In our observations, participants who were rated high on the APES and who were considered to have mourned their lost cultures did not “let go” of their losses as the grief work model would suggest. Rather, their internalized lost cultures took the form of continuing bonds that influenced them in their daily experiences and solved many of the problems they faced in the land of immigration. For example, after he was able to internalize his lost culture through his use of tango, Andres used this form of art as a resource instead of abandoning it or letting it go. Therefore, participants who were rated high on the APES seemed to reflect the continuing bonds model rather than the grief work model of mourning. On the other hand, those who were rated low on the APES seemed to have internalized their lost cultures by having continuing bonds with their lost cultures but nonetheless did not let go of their losses. Rather, their continuing bonds provided solace by easing the pain of separation from their countries. Revising the APES to account for the process of loss and mourning in immigration Many of the elements of the original APES stages used by the researchers in analyzing the cases were kept intact; however, new revisions were added to incorporate new observations especially those related to the continuing bonds. The descriptions of APES stages 4 and 7 are approximation since no participants were judged to be in those stages. Stage 0: This stage was modified to incorporate the new conceptualization of the continuing bonds as a provider of solace to participants who cling to their lost culture. In this stage, the voices of native and host cultures are dissociated from each other, experienced only separately. Stage 1: This stage was modified to stress that the continuing bonds may continue to provide solace to the mourning immigrants in case of clinging to the lost culture. This stage may also include active rejection and devaluation of one culture and the idealization of the other. Stage 2: This stage was modified to stress that solace from the continuing bonds may help the immigrant ameliorate the immense pain that may take place in that stage. Stage 3: This stage was modified to include the observation that the continuing bonds may provide solace but may also be associated with conflicts and contradictions between the voices of host and native cultures. The immigrant may recognize that there is an alternative position to either clinging or denial and this may creates an inner turmoil.

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Stage 4: This stage was modified to propose that the internalized voices of the lost culture are linked via a meaning bridge with the voices of the host culture. However, more elaboration of this stage must wait for further studies. Stage 5: This stage was modified to include the observation that the continuing bonds may provide solutions for possible acculturation problems and may become resources that are called upon when needed. Stage 6: This stage was modified to include the observation that the immigrant is proud of the continuing bonds with his/her culture to the extent that he/she is secured in own cultural identity and may now transmit useful cultural values to the new country. Stage 7: None of the participants were judged to be in stage 7. Elaboration of this stage must wait for further studies. The role of dreams in the mourning process Some interviewees indicated that they did not remember their dreams; whereas, others discussed dreams that were related to current lovers or banal work habits and were clearly not related to their immigration experiences. However, three interviewees (Nancy, Fen, and Muhammad) discussed a distinctive role of dreams in their mourning process. Dreams connected immigrants with their home countries. For example, Nancy who was at a lower stage of assimilation, reported many dreams about the people she left in Spain. She indicated that she relived her years in Spain before coming to America through her dreams, especially dreams about the time she and her sisters were teenagers. Similarly, Fen reported having a very vivid dream life. Her dreams of her native culture tend to revolve around mundane, day-to-day aspects from her past, which might suggest a rootedness in the lived experience of that culture; a living, breathing culture that she nurtured in her mind. These two cases indicated that these dreams might have facilitated the development of continuing bonds with the native culture. Dreams also revealed the relationship between some participants’ two internal cultural voices (i.e. native and host) and the content of these dreams differed according to the salience of each voice. For example, in the case of Nancy, her dreams during her early immigration years were entirely dedicated to the memory of Spain. However, she reported that the intensity of these Spain-related dreams had declined over the years, although not completely disappearing. They were then replaced by dreams that possessed a slightly American flavor (e.g. hosting dance

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parties, having a dance studio in home, owning a Bed and Breakfast hotel in the countryside at the Midwest). These dreams might indicate the fundamental void that Nancy felt in her life or they might have been an outlet to fulfill the simple day-to-day pleasures missing from her life. On the other hand, some of Muhammad’s dreams reflected his desire to have a mutual interest between his American and Iraqi internal cultural voices . He felt that his prophetic dreams (dreams predicating future, totally emanating from his cultural traditions) about the events of 9/11 were a sign of his desire to protect the USA, his new country. The irregularity of the mourning process The study revealed many complexities in the mourning process and irregularities in the assimilation of cultural experiences. These issues posed new challenges to the assimilation model: A. Differential assimilation of cultural experiences In this study, the researchers attempted to assign a global APES rating for each participant. This attempt was based on the assumption that each participant’s experiences of his/her lost culture were somewhat coherent. According to this assumption, the person might assimilate different aspects of his/her lost culture in a uniform manner and a global rating would be justified. However, it seemed that the process of immigration might have allowed some participants to easily assimilate some of their cultural losses/experiences but not others. For example, Muhammad’s initial assimilation of his lost culture did not include mourning the traumatic events of his political persecution in Iraq and processing his terrible departure from his country. His use of compartmentalization of loss was both helpful and hurtful for him. It helped him assimilate his lost culture by keeping the problem somewhat separate to manage pain, and this was a way of keeping himself from being emotionally overwhelmed. In this manner, he could assimilate/integrate portions of the problem a little bit at a time. On the other hand, this compartmentalization of loss created certain problems for him since it prevented him from assimilating the traumatic memories surrounding the departure of his country. These memories were not dealt with, but instead kept in a safe and had a tendency to emerge into his awareness, especially following the events of 9/11. We can only speculate that if his traumatic experiences had been more assimilated, perhaps he would not have felt devastated by 9/11, but this is only a speculation.

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There are at least two possibilities that may explain the differential assimilation of loss. Stiles (2005) argued that a problematic experience, such as losing one’s culture, may be considered as a set of subvoices that cohere imperfectly. He also argued that different strands of problems may be assimilated at different rates and the identified problem might be psychologically dissected into separate subproblems, each of which might have a different rate of progression . Another reason why immigrants differentially assimilated elements of lost culture could be that assimilation of one experience may be interfered by other assimilated material (Stiles, 2005; Knobloch et al., 2001). However, the assimilation model may need to be further elaborated to address this issue. B. Regression in assimilation: After initially experiencing a meaningful inner dialogue between his two internal cultural voices (Iraqi and American), Muhammad started to experience an inner conflict between these two voices and a regression of his assimilation took place from APES stage 5 to APES stage 3. The interplay of Muhammad's immigration context [new experiences] and his worldview [traces of older experiences] may have led to his regression. As a result of being threatened by the FBI and by the anti-Arab sentiments in this country (context), Muhammad seemed to have coped by using mechanisms that reversed his integration of the different aspects of his self (worldview). These mechanisms included isolating himself and devaluing the American society. In a sense, his internal cultural voices might have become fragmented and might have threatened each other after being initially harmonious during his early years as an immigrant. Another explanation of Muhammad’s regression comes from a psychodynamic point of view. According to McWilliams (1999), “under stress, people tend to revert to the methods of coping that characterized an earlier developmental challenge that felt similar to their new situation" (p. 67). It seems that Muhammad’s newly developed fear and pain in America might have activated an earlier developmental challenge (his terror and agony in Iraq). Accordingly, Muhammad might have been reacting to racism the same way he reacted to oppression when he was in Iraq. C. Assimilation and friendships: Despite his apparent mourning of many elements of his Mexican culture such as his social status, language, values, ethics, and identity, Diego seemed to have difficulty initiating and maintaining friendships with American citizens. Indeed, he argued that it was much easier for him to make friends in Mexico than to do so in the USA. Similarly, Andres seemed to have

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mourned many elements of his culture such as its art, values, and traditions. However, he too seemed to have problems initiating and maintaining friendships with his American counterparts . On the contrary, despite their overall slow mourning processes, Nancy and Fen were able have meaningful friendships in the USA. Nancy talked fondly about her friends and their important roles in her life; whereas, Fen seemed to have initiated many friendships when she lived in Florida and seemed fond of her relationships with members of her church. This difference may be possibly explained by the intersections between gender, relationships, and immigration. Akhtar (2000) argued that immigrant women fair better in engaging in social relationships with individuals from the host culture due to their stronger maternal needs to understand the new culture of their children. If we were to assume that making new friendships in the land of immigration was the most important marker of the assimilation of lost culture, we would have given higher APES ratings to Fen and Nancy and lower ones to Andres and Diego. However, we believed that Diego and Andres faired better in mourning since they acknowledged their loss of native cultures, were in touch with its influence on their lives, did not cling to or deny it, and most importantly initiated an inner cultural dialogue that gave expression to both cultural voices albeit with the exception of making friendships in the land of immigration. The issue of lack of friendship in the cases of Diego and Andres might be attributed to these two men’s apparent frustration with the individualistic nature of the American society. For example, Diego resented the mechanistic view of human beings that is pervasive in the USA. He was also critical of the automated impersonal treatment of people who live in a capitalist society and said that it was similar to the image of a beehive. He also resented being treated as a machine by his university and accused its administrators of having a lack of consideration for his emotional needs. He also complained about the lack of depth of friendships in America and the busy life style of Americans. Similarly, Andres discussed his frustration with the interpersonal space that characterizes many Americans and mentioned instances in which his colleagues avoided him in a grocery store or refused to accept his invitations for dinner. Political implications of the current study 1. Continuing bonds and ethnic pride: Participants’ continuing bonds with their native culture represented their sense of ethnic pride. When immigrants manifest signs of ethnic pride such as an interest in ethnic cultural

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artifacts, ethnic food, ethnic studies, religious practices, etc, they should not be perceived as having difficulty mourning the loss of this culture. Rather, these manifestations may indicate that a continuing bond is operating in their lives and is helping them mourn their losses. For example, Diego wore Mexican T shirts, spoke in Spanish with his children, and regularly went to Mexican restaurants. His ethnic pride helped his mourning process and linked him not only to his native culture but to the American culture as well. However, ethnic pride should be always modulated and monitored; otherwise, it may precipitate a nationalistic ethnic withdrawal that may create conflicts with the host culture. Fen’s exclusive interest in Chinese art, food, and natural beauty prevented her from assimilating her newly developing American voice. As a result, she asserted that she would only adopt some American values if she was to return to China. Applying this idea to a broader context, one can use the example of the recent riots that took place in France (Associated Press, 2005). These riots were carried out by minority groups, who were mainly third-generation immigrants from North Africa and might have resulted from a combination of these groups’ ethnocentric withdrawal and the existing institutional barriers in the French society. These rioters could have experienced a cultural dialogue between their native and the French cultures by keeping their ethnic pride while being open to the French culture instead of withdrawing from it. 2. Current governmental policies and the mourning of immigration-related loss: As shown in the case of Muhammad, racist governmental policies may complicate the mourning process of immigration. It is disheartening to notice the recent enactment of more restricting immigration laws by the US Congress. It is also disturbing to watch the threatening effects of the Patriot Act (a new law that allows for the indefinite incarceration of many immigrants as well as American citizens in military prisons without the right to have a trial) on the mourning process of these individuals, especially those who came from Arabic or Muslim descents. These laws may create tremendous fear for the immigrants, and this fear may inhibit the initiation of an inner dialogue and a meaning bridge between their native and host cultures. These restricting laws may also force the immigrants to escape and retreat by clinging to the native culture and may cause them to withdraw from and devalue the American one. Alternatively, these laws may cause immigrants to deny their losses and lose contact with their native cultures.

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Further, there has been a recent rash of educational policies that championed the so called “English only curriculum” and discouraged bilingual education. One should note that these policies may inadvertently prevent immigrants from keeping continuing bonds with their language and from speaking in this language with their children. Accordingly, immigrants may deny their loss and may lose the connection with their native culture. Diego’s ability to speak in Spanish with his daughters seemed to facilitate his mourning process and did not negatively influence their success since he expressed his pride in their academic achievements. 3. The role of American citizens in facilitating the process of mourning: Historically, immigrants in this country seemed to operate from what has been known as the “melting pot” position in which they abandon their connection to the native culture and adopt a unified American identity. However, this study provides an alternative position: immigrants cannot and should not give up their emotional attachment to the native cultures. Rather, this attachment is important for the healthy process of mourning since it may eventually allow them to integrate many aspects of the host culture. Accordingly, the idea of a multicultural society seems crucial for a healthy mourning process of the one million new immigrants that arrive to the USA every year. I believe that the American culture is currently redefining itself. Rather than being a culture that is predominantly based on European values and ideals, this culture is also integrating new non-European values and ideals and is becoming truly multiple and diverse. Many American citizens may resent this new position, may create a hostile environment to immigrants who wish to maintain their bonds with their cultures, and may support laws that attempt to keep the status-quo. Ayan, who was a Muslim immigrant from Somalia, might have used denial of loss as a way of adapting to the current hysteria against Muslims in this country. Relevance of the study to current research on immigration Up to this point, I provided a description of the process of loss and mourning in immigration based on numerous case observations. However, one of the goals of this study was to investigate whether the mourning/assimilation process of non-European individuals (who currently constitute the majority of immigrants in the USA) includes some features that are unique to these individuals. Accordingly, I examined the relationships between the process of assimilation of lost culture and elements central to the current literature on minorities such as 1) collectivism and individualism 2) models of racial/cultural identity development and 3) bicultural competence.

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A. Individualism/collectivism and mourning of immigration-related loss: Sue and Sue (2003) wrote extensively about the collective nature of non-European individuals. They noted that in non-European cultures, individuation is perceived as a hindrance to attaining enlightenment and may distract the individual from achieving spiritual goals. Identity, in non-European cultures, is not seen apart from the group orientation, and the psychosocial unit of operation is not the individual but rather the family, group, or collective society. In these societies, people usually greet each other: “how is your family today?” instead of “how are you today?” In this study, observations had shown that not all non-European participants were collectivistic. Also, collectivistic participants were rated low on the APES and individualistic participants were rated high on the APES. It was originally assumed that significant others may be an integral part of the mourning process of a collectivistic immigrant and a process of collective assimilation of lost culture with his or her new family, friends, or group would take place; however, observations had shown that some participants with collectivistic self-construal clung to their native culture. For example, Fen’s collectivistic involvement with her Chinese friends, and what she described as her “Chinese network” in Florida, might have prevented her from being exposed to the larger host culture. Despite their support and encouragement of her as she initially adjusted to the American culture, her Chinese friends might have interfered with her developing competence in the host culture. According to Leslie (1992), high level of contact with the local immigrant network is associated with a lower willingness to utilize outside services. He also argued that although these networks can protect immigrants from stressor and challenges in the land of immigration; they also serve to insulate and isolate them from the host culture. Similarly, Tanu’s collectivism and her intense reliance on her mother, sister, brother-in-law, and husband might have caused her to reject the notion that she has changed by living in the USA for 13 years. Fen and Tanu were rated low on the APES. On the other hand, individualistic self-construal seemed to have helped some participants initiate an inner cultural dialogue between the host and native culture. Diego operated from an individualistic perspective since he totally relied on himself as he made adjustments to his new environment and since he attributed his success exclusively to his individual efforts. Similarly, Andres reported that he had to rely on himself to succeed in America. He did not discount the role of his wife in achieving this goal but was vague about it. Both were rated high on the APES.

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Paradoxically, Andres and Diego expressed their frustrations with the individualistic nature of the American society. For example, Diego resented this society’s “mechanistic view of human beings” and used the beehive metaphor to explain the automated impersonal treatment of people in capitalist societies. Similarly, Andres discussed his frustration with the interpersonal distancing of many Americans and mentioned instances in which his colleagues avoided him in a grocery store or refused to accept his invitations for dinner. However, both men attempted to strike a balance between the individualistic and collectivistic orientations to life. Tummala-Narra (2001) argued that the value of autonomy in many non-European individuals should be balanced with the value of interdependence with family members and the large ethnic/religious community. B. The immigrant’s racial identity and the assimilation of native culture: Sue and Sue (2003) modified a model of racial identity development originally developed by Cross (1978). They argued that a person of color undergoes five stages of identity development as he/she adjusts to environmental demands. These stages may not necessarily be consequential but they describe a person of color’s possible responses to both native and dominant cultures. A person of color may go back and forth between these stages but each stage represents numerous challenges and struggles for that person. The stages are as follows: 1) Conformity stage: the person of color may actually degrade the native culture and idealize the dominant host culture. 2) Exposure stage: the person of color stops idealizing the majority culture and refrains from denigrating his/her native culture. 3) Immersion stage: the person of color gets in touch with his/her culture becomes increasingly proud of own heritage, and suspends the total idealization of the dominant culture. 4) Introspection stage: the person of color reexamines own culture and accepts or rejects many of its elements. 5) Selective Integration stage: the person of color selectively adopts elements from the majority culture that do not violate or interfere with his/her cultural core beliefs and worldview. There seemed to be some parallels between APES stages and these stages of identity development. Participants who were rated high on the APES seemed to be involved in a process of cultural mixing of both native and host cultures that seemed conceptually similar to the “Selective Integration Stage” described above. For example, Diego lived his culture in his day- to-day interactions, such as in the classroom, where he wore traditional Mexican shirts and answered his students’ questions about his native country. Diego’s extent and intensity of

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connection with his native culture could be seen in the various ways he kept it alive in his life. He did this by speaking in Spanish to his daughters, keeping in touch with relatives and friends in Mexico, doing radio programs on Mexican music on-campus, and serving in Latin American studies committees. However, he also selected values from the American culture such as punctuality, educational sophistication, cleanliness, and self-determination. These selected values did not violate his cultural core; rather, they enriched his life and helped him live “beyond the surface” as he put it. Similarly, Andres seems to be immersed in his Montevideon culture and had invested time and effort in examining and studying it. However, he also selected and integrated American cultural values such as courtesy, individuality and direct communications. On the other hand, two participants who were rated low on the APES seemed to be involved in a process of cultural immersion in which they totally identified their cultures while simultaneously rejecting elements of the American culture. This is reminiscent of the stage of “Immersion” described above. For example, Fen did not want to accept her newly developing American side and said that she would rather take every good value she learned from Americans back with her in China. She also immersed herself in varied aspects of her Chinese culture and adamantly refused any exposure to any form of the American media. Similarly, Tanu said that despite living 13 years in America, nothing had changed in her. She claimed to be the same person mentally and emotionally since she left India. Finally, Ayan who was rated low on the APES seemed to be involved in a process of marginalizing his Somali culture and fully idealizing the American culture. This may converge with the “Conformity Stage” described above. Ayan said he only accepted the American culture and hoped that his children would exclusively identify only with this to succeed in the USA. He did his best to dismiss the influence of his Somali culture and thought that the Somali and American cultures were mutually exclusive. Ayan also did not see the utility of having a communication or a dialogue between his two cultural voices because he believed his culture “does not work” in the USA. C. Assimilation of the native culture and bicultural competence: Participants who were rated high on the APES seemed to be bi-culturally competent individuals. According to LaFromboise, Coleman, and Gerton (1993) bicultural competence is the capacity of an individual to effectively manage the process of living in two cultures through the following ways:

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1. Knowledge of cultural beliefs and values of both cultures : As mentioned earlier, it was clear that both Andres and Diego were aware of and knowledgeable about the everyday practices and the traditions of both the American and their native cultures. 2. Positive attitudes towards both groups: Diego appreciated the cleanliness, and efficiency of Americans. He said that he could rely on American citizens and trust them to do any task he would ask them to do. On the other hand, he talked extensively about the sense of camaraderie he has with his fellow Mexicans and his insistence to be a godfather of the children of many of his Mexican friends. He also appreciated the spontaneity of his Mexican friends. 3. Bicultural efficacy : LaFromboise et al (1993) defined bicultural efficacy as the belief and confidence that one can live effectively and in a satisfying manner within two cultures without compromising one’s sense of cultural identity. This belief enables an immigrant to persist through periods when he or she experiences rejection from one or both cultures. This persistence is maintained via the inner cultural dialogue between host and native cultures and the existence of a meaning bridge between them. Andres, who was rated high on the APES, seemed to have this feature since he was able to hold both cultural perspectives/voices in mind simultaneously. This had allowed him to build meaning bridges or shared understandings between them. Further, he could flexibly respond to the situation at hand, using either voice. He was also able to exercise his intellectual and individualistic desires by being a professor and acting American in that sense and he could access the voice of his lost culture when dealing with its loss by singing the tango or engaging in traditional rituals when his mother died. In his words, the two cultures “co-exist.” 4. Role repertoire (behaviors): Immigrants rated higher on the APES developed a range of culturally appropriate behaviors or roles that fit both host and native cultures. Diego was willing to learn about the American culture and apply this learning in practical settings. He appreciated the value of knowing more about his new culture, and felt that he was different from the typical “fresh immigrant” struggling with learning the ropes of this culture. Diego also appeared to experience a smooth transition between the American and Mexican cultures. Probably due to his living in Mexico and America for significant periods of time, he felt that he could slide under the skin of one culture or the other,

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depending on the context. Diego was also able to switch languages, based on his comfort levels, as well as what may be expected of him. 5. Groundedness: Individuals rated high at the APES seemed to be anchored in their native culture. That is, their culture served as a starting point or a “refueling station” for them. This is a strategy that was developed by Diego and is reminiscent of the “mother as a secure base” concept by Mahler (1968) mother as a “secure base” (Mahler, 1968). According to this concept, the child explores the world but goes back to the mother and gets emotional refueling from her. The child also feels secure that when he returns, he would find the mother. Therefore, Mexico served as a secure base that allowed Diego to feel grounded and secured in his new position as an immigrant. However, the relationship between mourning and bicultural efficacy should be approached with extreme caution. Participants rated with lower APES level also showed some signs of bicultural competence, but did not show all 5 elements, especially bicultural efficacy. For example, Fen had positive attitudes towards both groups, was grounded in her culture, and developed behaviors that fit both cultures. However, she was not interested in increasing her knowledge of the American culture, and did not have bicultural efficacy since she was not confident that she could live effectively in America without compromising her Chinese identity. Similarly, Nancy showed some signs of bicultural competence such as having positive attitudes towards both groups and increasing her knowledge about both cultures. However, she was not grounded in her Spanish culture, did not develop behaviors that would adapt her to the American culture, and did not have bicultural efficacy. The lack of bicultural efficacy in the cases of Fen and Tanu may be an illustration of their lack of an inner meaningful dialogue between the inner voices of both cultures. Validity consideration Stiles (1993) proposed criteria for examining the validity in qualitative research. These included the following: 1. Reflexive validity: This is a form of validity that is achieved when the initial conceptualization is changed by observations from the data and the new observations become part of the new conceptualization. Our interpretation raised questions and allowed new ideas to emerge. Case observations were used to permeate the theory of loss and mourning in immigration. That is, the original theory was changed to fit the observations, and aspects of the

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observations become part of the theory (Campbell, 1979). For example, the theory of loss and mourning started with statements about the possibility of the presence of a continuing bond with the native culture that may provide solace and sustenance for the immigrant in his/her new country of immigration. Our observations had revealed that all participants seemed to have continuing bonds and described different functions of these bonds depending on the participant’s APES level. On the other hand, the observations did not reveal any evidence for the grief work model. The observations also elaborated the relationship between the assimilation of lost culture and issues of collectivisms/individualism, racial identity development and bicultural efficacy. Finally, the observations helped adapt and modify the assimilation model to accommodate for the process of loss and mourning in immigration and showed some of its irregularities. 2. Catalytic validity : This form of validity is achieved when the research seems to influence those who participate in it. I believe that the interviews reoriented, focused and energized some of my participants. Three of my participants told me at the end of the interview that they learned many things about their lives as a result of undergoing the interviews. For example, Nancy asserted that it was an interesting process for her to realize some of the issues influencing her lives, especially those related to her adaptation to the USA. Also, Muhammad found this interview a great opportunity for him to reflect on his life and to remember many things from the past and get in touch with them. Finally, Diego was excited about the process of interviewing since it allowed him to talk about his adjustment to the USA and the ways with which he responded to his new environment. Catalytic validity is also achieved if the researchers involved are deeply influenced by the study. One of the researchers wrote about her participation in the study: “I can say that it opened my eyes to the various ways that immigrants make sense of their losses, and the ways in which context (which include me as a US citizen/inhabitant) directly and indirectly influence the process. I realize that this sounds a bit normal (i.e., research is educative) but I found the interviews personally engaging and compelling—making me see the human side of immigration, not just the theoretical. I felt especially touched by Muhammad’s story, given its relevance for current American dealings with Iraq.” Another researcher (an immigrant graduate student) wrote a long essay about his experience. The following is an excerpt of that essay: “Looking at the process of my involvement in this research, initially, I tended to analyze cases with a sense of detachment. It was an intellectually fulfilling experience (though very time consuming, given my

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predilection for piecing out fine concepts from broader ones). Perhaps, gradually, I also began to relate to some aspects of the cases’ experiences of loss and mourning. For example, Diego’s experience of the difference in quality of friendships in the U.S. versus those in his home country struck a chord of recognition with me. And of course, recently, I realized that my engagement with my native culture might operate in some ways similar to how Nancy experienced her own native culture. For example, the other day when I heard about the destruction in human life that occurred in India as a result of the Tsunami in South Asia, I felt a surge of emotions in me, as I read this news, and saw it on television. Back in India, I would not ordinarily react to such events with the kind of emotions I felt. What is relevant here, I was saddened more by the death and destruction in India than elsewhere (and ended up donating money that would specifically go toward relief work in India). Of course, considering our vastly different durations of stay in this country, as well as differences in other contextual factors, I construe this experience of mine as not necessarily corresponding to a lower APES stage! Nevertheless, being involved with this research helped me understand my reactions better; otherwise, I wouldn’t have thought much of them.” 3. Uncovering, self-evidence : This form of validity is achieved when the research provides a solution to the problem at hand for the reader. My deeper understanding of the process of loss and mourning in immigration uncovered possible solutions to this problem and addressed many of my questions about this process (Rosenwald, 1988). I hope that my interpretations would allow the reader to have a deeper understanding of the process of loss and mourning associated with immigration and to become informed of the complexity of this process. I also hope that my interpretations could help readers come in terms with their own private losses and help them deal with and mourn them. Alternatively, readers, especially American citizens, might be able to understand their role in the process of assimilation of loss of immigrants. 4. Triangulation: This form of validity is achieved by seeking information from multiple resources. I used multiple sources such as interviews, and many theories (e.g. continuing bonds, assimilation model, and the construct of individualism/collectivism) to elaborate a theory of loss and mourning in immigration. Information converged from these multiple sources.

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Personal reflections: Dealing with my own biases during my research journey I was immersed in my interviewee’s feelings during the interviews, and this provided me with a huge source of information. I worked hard to avoid being seen by them as an authority on how to live the “American life.” I repeatedly assured them that I was not looking for right or wrong answers. Helping my participants take the lead during the interview was indeed the best way for them to answer my research questions since they had an incredible reservoir of information about loss and mourning. Each conversation had a life of its own and new themes were emerging in each new interview. Also, as I transcribed and analyzed each interview, my conceptualization was constantly challenged and revised. I was motivated to engage in a thorough investigation that yielded a deeper understanding of the issues at hand. I could not eliminate some of my preconceptions and values about these issues, but I worked hard to make them permeable (Stiles 1993, 2005). Using intensive interviews, thick descriptions, and triangulation had increased my exposure to the phenomenon and had allowed me to revisit my notions. I read the transcripts extensively, immersed myself in the narratives of my participants, and made numerous discoveries. I also sought consensus through my research team and used a very comprehensive analysis process so as to address potential biases. I was challenged more than once by different researchers, especially about the way I interpreted the relationship between some immigrants and their native culture. For example, I thought that it was odd for one participant to leave the USA shortly after obtaining her green card and settle in her native country for two years. I thought that she was undoing her immigration, but one colleague challenged me and asked me if I was jealous because I was unable to visit my home country for a very long period of time after my arrival to the USA. I did not know what to expect in each interview so I prepared myself with a sense of awe and an eagerness to learn about the experiences of my participants. As McWilliams (2004) beautifully put it, awe involves the willingness to feel very small in the presence of the vast and unknowable. It is a process of being open to be being moved. Awe allows our experience to take our breath away and invites others to make a fresh imprint on our souls, and minds. These participants moved me since I identified with many of their struggles as an immigrant. I also learned many lessons and worked on many of my biases about this issue. Participants occasionally made poignant statements that left me speechless and hopeful that they would say

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more. For example, Andres used the metaphor of riding a bus and not reaching the final destination to explain his experience with immigration. He also wondered how his life would have been shaped if he was to finish that bus trip. Also, Fen told me that there is nothing in this life what would help her deal with the painful loss of immigration. I was amazed by the depth and the imagination of some participants and responded to their narratives with a sense of curiosity and apprehension. For example, I was struck by Muhammad who used a song from my native country, Egypt, to verbalize his feelings about loss and by Andres who used the Tango to do the same. I was also amazed by the sense of pride that all these individuals had and the strong bonds they had with their cultural heritage. Implications for therapeutic intervention with immigrants To effectively deal with immigrants who may be undergoing the process of mourning associated with departing their countries, therapists need to examine their client’s contextual factors, such as the circumstances of immigration and the possibility of home access, as well as their worldviews such as their perceptions of loss and their reactions to both host and native cultures. The different elements belonging to these two dimensions may go beyond those mentioned in the results section (see suggestions for future research below). According to Boulanger (2004), many therapists do not engage their immigrant clients in discussions about the difficulties inherent in fitting between two cultures. Acknowledging the presence of the continuing bonds may be the first step to facilitate such discussions. The continuing bonds should not be seen as a threat to the immigrant client’s grief and adjustment. Rather, the potential benefit of the continuing bonds should be utilized for therapeutic progress to take place. Further, the current research on multicultural therapeutic competence stresses the importance of examining the stage of racial identity development in minority clients, including immigrants. This study revealed possible convergence between the level of assimilation of loss and the stage of racial identity development. Immigrants who have mourned their native culture may be engaged in a process of cultural integration and mixing; whereas, those who did not mourn their lost cultures may be engaged in cultural conflict, ethnocentric withdrawal, or ethnic depreciation. Therapists may also want to conduct a full assessment of different losses experienced by their immigrant clients and examine possible differential responses to this loss. Some losses may

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be readily mourned; whereas, others may not. Therapists should also explore the possibility of regression in assimilation of loss. The case of Muhammad had shown that an immigrant may have had the opportunity to mourn her/his loss only to face new life circumstances that would reverse this mourning process. Finally, Sue and Sue (2003) argued that therapists can easily become a part of an establishment that oppresses immigrants and turns its back on them. If the immigrant’s mourning of native culture is influenced by oppression or racism such as in the case of Muhammad, it is advised that therapists monitor their possible discomfort in discussing these issues so that they could be effective with their immigrant clients. Avoiding the examination of racism may prove very costly. Limitations of the current study 1. Variation in the quality of narratives: It was clear that some interviewees expressed themselves clearly and eloquently, and gave valuable and rich information about their experiences; whereas, others struggled in expressing themselves and their feelings/thoughts. This difference was illustrated by the quantitative and qualitative differences in their narratives. The difficulty in self-expression exhibited by some participants (and lesser difficulties that may have been present but undetected in other participants) could have resulted from one or more of the following factors: A. Discomfort with the interview setting: Tanu seemed to become increasingly irritated throughout her interview. She might have been uncomfortable with the questions posed and with the personal/intimate context of the interview. B. Cultural barriers . It is possible that there are many cultural prohibitions that disallowed some participants from self-disclosure and self-expression in front of a stranger (interviewer). Tanu was interviewed by a male interviewer not previously known to her. In this context, unlike Nancy, who was willing to disclose even erotic dreams to the interviewer, Tanu might have been hesitant to share her deepest feelings about her sense of loss of native culture with me due to cultural proscriptions about disclosing one’s family secrets, and personal matters. C. Fear of political retributions: Ayan was occasionally uncomfortable with some interview questions, especially those related to his status as a Muslim man in the USA. He might have been worried about disclosing how he really felt regarding his status given the current hysteria against Muslims in this country.

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D. Self-expression in a foreign language: With the exception of Muhammad, all participants were asked to verbalize their feelings and thoughts in a foreign language (English language). This might have inhibited some of them from fully expressing themselves at least emotionally . For example, Ayan was not very proficient in the English language, and this might have affected his ability to describe some of the more subtle or abstract factors surrounding his immigration. 2. Researchers’ bias: The participant’s speech might have been misunderstood in many ways, and researchers might have different or inadequate understanding of his/her expressions. In more than one occasion, researchers were influenced by their own personal biases in interpreting the current findings. For example, one of the researchers said that he wrongly assumed that one of the participants had not fully assimilated his lost culture. As it turned out, the participant reminded the researcher of someone he was acquainted with, and this striking similarity distracted and eventually prevented him from carefully assessing the assimilation of this particular participant. The researcher was able to revise his conceptualization after acknowledging the influence of his personal feelings on understanding this participant and after hearing the perspectives of the other two researchers. Another researcher felt that his immigrant status could have possibly influenced his observations in a certain direction. For example, while analyzing Fen’s narrative, he was very perturbed by her assertion that racial discrimination was not an issue in her life, and that it generally did not exist in this country. He was concerned that he might have imposed his own views on her narrative by using this as an evidence of her being naïve about the American culture, while invalidating her own experiences of not being at the receiving end of discriminatory behavior. Nevertheless, in each of these situations, our group process helped and sensitized us to the operation of such possible biases, and we tried to remain permeable to unexpected observations. We also went through considerable iteration and revised our conceptualizations numerous times. Another possible bias may be related to the gender of researchers : What does it mean that the three females in the sample were at low levels of assimilation? Does this suggest gender biases by the researchers, who were predominantly males? In this connection, it is important to

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note that the three women in this study came to America for the sole purpose of joining loved ones. As suggested earlier, individuals who came for this reason seemed to lag in their mourning because they might have lacked the inner initiative to emigrate. 3. Limited exposure to the interviewees’ lives: Despite the richness of most of the interviews done for this study and the significant amount of information gleaned from them, each interview was only conducted once, and in a period that did not exceed 90 minutes. These interviews could not do justice to the lives and experiences of these interviewees. This limited exposure was very problematic in the case of Tanu, since we did not have enough information about the way she responded to the loss of her culture. We considered the possibility of conducting a follow up interview with her, but we hesitated to do that since we believed that she would remain resistant to self-disclosure and would be uncomfortable with another interview. On the other hand, it is also possible that the interviewee’s mood, mental status, and discomfort during the interviews might have led to some misrepresentations of the material. 4. Assigning a global rating for each interview: Despite the fact that we reached a consensus regarding each interviewee’s assimilation in a broad sense, there were disagreements about more specific aspects of different cases and their role in assigning an APES rating. In a sense, the themes of the interviewees’ experiences as immigrants (i.e., adjusting socially and culturally, loss of family, ability to visit native country, mourning of home city, etc.) are assimilated differentially. By rating them with one “umbrella number,” invariably, what resulted was a lump rating that might not adequately represent the vicissitudes of the participant’s experience. I attempted to address this limitation in the section of irregularities of the process of mourning/assimilation. 5. Psychological mindedness: Perhaps people who are not psychologically-minded are able to assimilate their immigration-related losses but are not able to talk about their experiences in depth. The assimilation process may be the same, but people's ability to reflect on and talk about that process may differ. It is possible that one can elicit narratives from such individuals if special care is paid in structuring the interviews with them and in designing questions for them. After failing to elicit process-related material from Tanu, who seemed to lack an ability to reflect on her deep experiences, I had adopted methods of interviewing that might have elicited more

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process-related material in my interview with Ayan, who seemed to lack psychological mindedness. This was achieved through asking questions that were less abstract but more relevant to his daily life experiences. These questions were concrete enough to help him discuss his immigration experiences. It is possible, however, that such special care was not needed and that the researchers or the interviewer might have missed very important markers of the assimilation process of these individuals due to their intellectual biases or their skewed expectations of participants. 6. Initial struggle among researchers with understanding and applying the assimilation model: In the beginning of the analysis process, it was clear that the researchers had different understandings of the APES itself, especially with respect to the distinctions among the first three stages. We dealt with this problem by practicing on the translated broadcast transcripts of Al Jazeera TV (See Researchers’ training above). We also spent a substantial amount of time in our first case (Nancy), and that prompted us to re-examine our understanding of the APES stages. We then had a joint meeting with one of the dissertation committee co-chairs (Dr. William Stiles) to clarify some issues about the assimilation model and its relationship to this project. Further, the adaptation of the assimilation model into the construct of loss and mourning might have created some problems. Possibly, in translating the stages from the clinical context of assessing problematic experiences to the immigration context of assessing the degree of assimilation of loss and mourning, salient aspects of the stages may have been missed, or other aspects were over or under-emphasized, than was intended by the original stages. Another issue may be that certain words in the adapted stages might not have been adequately operationalized so as to afford a reasonable degree of certainty among the researchers in deciding if they were thinking about the same phenomenon. The terms, ‘clinging’ and ‘denial’ used in stage 0 of the adapted stages could be an example here. I attempted to tackle this issue through revising the APES stages to incorporate the revised theory of loss and mourning in immigration (Table 2). Suggestion for future research a) New studies may further examine the roles of the two dimensions of context and worldview on the process of loss and mourning in immigration. Perhaps new factors may also play a role. For example, language proficiency, race, and the historic relationship

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between the host and native cultures may be new contextual factors that may influence loss and mourning. Also, religious and spiritual values may constitute elements of one’s worldview and may influence this process. b) New studies may also examine the influences of context and worldview in other processes affecting immigrants such as their acculturation behaviours. c) New studies may examine other roles of the continuing bonds; for example, these bonds may be related to academic achievement, response to newly accrued losses in the land of immigration (e.g. family/child loss), parenting styles, etc. d) Further elaboration of the influences of gender differences on loss and mourning in immigration may add to our understanding of this process. This particular sample had shown that women did not do well in mourning immigration-related losses: could this be a common phenomenon? e) The study was cross-sectional in design considering each person at one point in time and illustrating the APES progression by comparisons across cases. A longitudinal study of acculturation may provide a more comprehensive picture of the progression of the stages of assimilation of loss. A longitudinal study may also reveal more information about possible irregularities of this process.

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Appendix 1 Theoretical Explanations A. Individualism and Collectivism Roland (1988) discussed his experience of working as a psychoanalyst in India and Japan for more than 10 years. He argued that non-European individuals, particularly those from these two countries, have a familial self that helps them function in intimate hierarchical relationships with the extended family, community, and other groups. Further, non-European individuals have porous outer self-boundaries that allow constant affective attunement, interdependence, and emotional intensity with others. Self-esteem is achieved through the reputation and dignity of the extended family and is maintained through constant non-verbal mirroring throughout life. Further, the ego ideal (the best image one inspires to have) in non-European cultures is radar-like and contextual; that is, individuals are sensitive to social norms and to what is expected from them by the others. These individuals adjust themselves in every context to meet social expectations and obligations. Roland also asserted that non-European individuals develop a sense of “We ness.” That is, the self is relational, multifaceted and can be only thought of in the presence of others. To put it differently, the self is embedded in a web of relatedness and the inner representation of self and others are not separated but rather interconnected and full of affect. Similarly, Sue and Sue (2003) talked extensively about the collective nature of non- European individuals. They wrote that in non-European cultures, individuation is perceived as a hindrance to attaining enlightenment and may distract the individual from achieving spiritual goals. Identity, in non-European cultures, is not seen apart from the group orientation, and the psychosocial unit of operation is not the individual but rather the family, group, or collective society. In these cultural contexts, people greet each other: “how is your family today” and not “how are you today?” Along the same lines, Triandis (1999) defined collectivistic cultures as cultures in which people from birth onwards are integrated into strong, cohesive ingroups and continue to protect each other in exchange for unquestioning loyalty. Collectivistic societies emphasize solidarity, sharing, duties and obligations, and the need for stable and predetermined friendships and group decisions. Here are some of the behaviors related to collectivism: 1. Considerations of the implications of one’s own decision and/or actions for other people.

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2. Sharing of material (money) and non-material (fun, time, affection) resources. Collectivists expect reciprocity. 3. Susceptibility to social influences. One pays more attention to influencing agents. 4. Concern about getting approvals and shame accrues if one fails to get approval. 5. Sharing of outcomes; misbehavior brings shame to the family and ingroup. 6. A sense of oneness with others, a perception of complex ties and relationships, and a tendency to keep other people in mind. Triandis (1999) also stressed that collectivism is not altruism; instead, it is the recognition that the basic unit of survival is the group and not the individual. The more concerns one has for others, the more bonds with others are felt and acted upon. Markus and Kitayama (1999) also argued that non-European cultures emphasize relatedness of individuals to each other. These cultures stress attending to significant others in order to achieve harmonious relationships. In other words, the most salient information about the non-European self includes aspects of self in relationships. Non-European individual do not always reflect the collective interdependent self; indeed, many non-European individuals adapt a more autonomous independent self with clear separation between the inner representation of self and other. However, researchers have shown that individuals in non-European societies are more likely to favor relatedness over autonomy (Sato, 2001). Also Triandis (1999) discussed three aspects of the self: private self (I am honest), public (people think I am honest), and collective (my family think I am honest) and asserted that people sample different types of these selves with different probabilities and different consequences for social behavior. He added that in non-European cultures, people usually sample collective self more than they sample private self. B. Denial Descriptions of how loss is dealt with through denial have been offered by Klein (1935) and Mahler (1968). According to Klein, a child goes through an early process of mourning that accompanies his/her weaning. This process of mourning is revived whenever grief is experienced throughout adult life. Klein also noted that loss could precipitate a depressive “position” for the ego. The word position is defined as an internal state that reflects a way of perceiving the world that will be experienced throughout the life cycle. This depressive position is experienced when the infant

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realizes that the good mother and the bad mother are indeed the same person. Even more depressing for the infant is to love the same mother and hates her at the same time. This depressive position is usually warded off by manic defenses, which are defined as mechanisms that deny the child from dealing with the pain associated with the loss of oneness with the mother. These manic defense mechanisms include the following: 1) Omnipotence: defined as the tendency to control lost loved object without genuine care for her. 2) Denial: defined as the erasing of awareness of dependence on the lost loved object. 3) Idealization: defined as the attempt to retain an “all good” view of the world and of oneself, which in turn defends against guilty recognition of having injured others in fact or fantasy (Akhtar 2001). Klein’s theory of mourning may be used to explain the immigrants’ response of denial of their losses. Immigrants may avoid dealing with their loss of their home country because of the possible pain that accompanies this process. They may try to avoid a depressive position by developing manic defenses that would help them deny their losses. For example, Yaglom (1993) noted that Soviet refugees to the USA feel omnipotent by working 16 hours a day. They deny physical exhaustion and their idealization of the American dream provides them with goals in life that distract them from dealing with their losses. Another way to explain the immigrants’ denial of their losses is from the perspective of Mahler’s separation-individuation theory. Mahler (1968) wrote about a practicing sub-phase of infant development, where the child starts to walk away from the mother and explore the world outside his/her oneness with the mother. Although the child enjoys this new freedom, he/she eventually experiences the loss of the mother, and this may cause severe anxiety. Luckily, the mother provides emotional refueling that can ease this anxiety of separation. Immigrants may also find themselves distant from their countries of origin (mother land), a distance that they might enjoy for some time the same way a toddler enjoys his/her practicing subphase of Mahler’s separation- individuation theory (Akhtar, 1999). As a result of this separation, immigrants may not pay attention to what they really lost and go on with their lives venturing with this new freedom.

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Appendix 2

INFORMED CONSENT

I am interested in examining the lives of immigrants as well as exploring life changes they experience as a result of immigration. I would like to learn from you how you dealt with departing your home country and how this experience has influenced your life. Your account of your experiences may help me in my interventions as a therapist and may allow me to educate my colleagues about certain aspects of immigrants’ lives. Your experience may also help create a comprehensive theory about immigration.

This project will consist of a single interview that will take no longer than 90 minutes with a 10- minute break midway through the interview. The interview will consist of questions regarding your experience as an immigrant in America. All interviews will be recorded by audiotapes or videotapes. In order to ensure confidentiality, participants’ names will not be revealed on the tape, and only a code number will be used to identify audio/videotapes. All tapes will be stored in locked files within a University research lab, accessible only by members of the research team.

Due to the sensitive nature of the issues to be examined, it is possible that discussing these experiences may bring up distressing feelings for some participants. Participants may skip any questions found to be disturbing and are able to discontinue the interview at any time without penalty or loss of benefit to which he/she is otherwise entitled.

Participation in this project is voluntary. Participants will receive $30 compensation for completion of the study. Another $10 will be offered if you agree to have a follow up interview with me. Partial payment of $ 10 will be offered as compensation for participants who withdraw before the completion of the interviews.

Should you have any questions about this study or the procedures involved, you can contact the principal investigator, Hani Henry, M.A. at (513) 524-3327 or [email protected] ; or faculty advisor Bill Stiles, Ph.D., at (513) 529-2405 or [email protected] or faculty co-chair Mia Biran, Ph.D. at 513 529-2418 or [email protected] For questions about your rights as a participant in this study, you may contact the Office for the Advancement of Scholarship and Teaching at (513-529-3734) or [email protected] .

I ______(print name) agree to participate in this study. I am aware that: (1) Participation is voluntary, and I may choose to withdraw from the study at any time without penalty. (2) All interviews will be recorded by audio/video tape, and understand that my name will not be used on the tape and the tape will be coded by numbers to ensure confidentiality.

Signature: ______Date: ______

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Appendix 3 Assimilation Analysis Protocol Please follow this protocol as you read and analyze the transcripts. This will involve four steps: 1) Familiarization and indexing: Please immerse yourself in reading the transcripts. As you read, please take notes about the participant’s thoughts and feelings regarding leaving their home countries and their characterization of both the old and new cultures. The notes may be indexed according to their order in the interview to facilitate relocating passages. 2) Issues to be considered systematically in describing the voices (experiences) of the lost and host cultures. A. How does the participant perceive the loss of the native culture (does he/she acknowledge it, deny it? Is loss salient? Is it profound? Is it clung to? How is loss dealt with? Is it immediately mourned after departure? Is loss something of the past? Is loss irrelevant? Please make your observations about loss. B. How do significant others influence the process of loss (did they alleviate it? did they worsen it? did they assist the immigrant? did they exist at all in his/her life? C. Collectivistic vs. individualistic approach to adjustment. (I adjusted to America on my own vs. I adjusted with the help of others). i.e. Person-focused adjustment vs. other- focused adjustment D. Mediating factors that may influence the response to loss: e.g. presence of family members/ability to visit home country and getting emotional refueling/ ability to immerse oneself in the native culture either through cultural work or community / environment in which the immigrant lives (xenophobic or open to immigrants/ identity development(i.e. does she/he have a strong ethnic identity)/ E. Identify the voices and the experiences of the lost culture within the interviewee psyche and how they are represented (i.e. my ethnic side, identity, friends, families, ideals, values, food). F. Identify the voices and experiences of the host culture within the interviewee psyche and how they are represented (i.e. My American side, identity, friends, families, ideals, values). How did the person change as a result of living in America?

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G. How do the two cultural voices/experiences interact with each other? Does the person have an inner conflict about them? Does the person have an inner dialogue between them; does the person feel influenced by only one of the two? Also, feel free to identify new themes as you read the transcripts In addition, even if the person refuses to be explicit about these themes, observe them as they come out in a spontaneous way. For example, some one may say I do not feel I lost anything, but then they may say I want to go back home to get in touch with so and so. 3) Selecting passages: please pick passages that are related to the themes identified above. For example, a participant may say I do not think I lost anything (theme A) or: My Mexican side did not go anywhere (theme E) or I have a new side to me (theme F) or I think my family is here so I did not lose anything (theme B) 4) Describing the process of assimilation: Each participant will be given an APES rating. Please refer to the table at the last page as you choose the stage of assimilation. As you decide on which stage you feel the interviewee is at, please consider the following perspective: If we consider the two cultures to be represented by two different voices or a community of voices in the self of each immigrant interviewed, do these voices talk to each other, do they acknowledge each other, do they help each other, do they oppress one another? The more there is a dialogue between the two the more there is an assimilation of loss and the more advanced is the stage. The dialogue can be illustrated as you see transformation of the person by both cultures. It is also hypothesized that the dialogue will be enhanced if loss is actually worked through. Please note that since most immigrants in this sample are non-Europeans, the occasional preference for their culture does not mean that they repress their American side. We want to appreciate the growing multiculturalism in this country and that most immigrants nowadays are not Europeans so the gap between their cultures and the mainstream American culture is larger. So do not assume that in order for a good dialogue to happen the two cultures must be represented equally within the immigrant’s psyche. Many of these immigrants may feel marginalized by the mainstream culture and by the current anti-immigrant fervor in this country and may exert an effort to maintain their cultural identity but at the same time, they are open to changes (selective changes

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that do not violate their cultural identity). If there is no openness at all and a person is engaged in a process of cultural isolation, then they may be at earlier stage. I hope that as you pick your APES stage you will be able to include the themes discussed above because they can help you gain a comprehensive picture about this process. For example, if I choose one person to be at stage 0, I want to encompass all the themes described above. The following is an illustration of how the final analysis could be: “G is at stage 0. He clings to what has been lost and showed no signs of mourning; he did not have any family so loss was not mourned. His inability to visit home is a huge mediating factor in his lack of mourning. He is so immersed in his culture and refuses to acknowledge any inner change as a result of living in America. He is individualistic in his approach to the problem and his old culture seems to be dominant and no dialogue exists between the 2 cultures.” A caveat in order: one can be at a higher stage without focusing on loss because it is not salient anymore. This does not mean that he/she is denying loss. This is the most important aspect of the study: identifying how the two cultures become assimilated by the immigrant and how she/he becomes transformed by this experience. Please back up your rating decision by using some of the passages you selected in step 3.

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