Roger Williams University
Saturday, April 2, 2005 Vol. IS, Issue 17 The Phallic Drama
"Freak" Author on Campus pugel SPORTS
PhotOli by MicMlJe DorIlIbed Meet Testaclese... In an effort to promote the "Penis Monologues," The College Republicans kicked offspring with Testaclese, who encouraged students to attend the April Slecture..Above left, ProIJOSl Edward Kavanagh exchanges words with the appendage; above n'ght, students become acquainted with the human penis. Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
Ashley Erling the obscure span has Contributing Writer become popular not only . !t's Wednesday evening on campus, but nation and "crunch time" on wide. campus. While most stu Dodgeball came to dents are writing papers RWU tbis year by stu and studying for finals, dent suggestion. Over Jim Schnare, senior. has the summer, Mike something very different Gallagher, intramural on his mind: dodgeball. adviser, was talking to Schnare and seven of some ofthe school's ori· his friends have a dodge entation advisors (OAs) ball playoff game this when Chris Poles, sen particular night, and ior, said that dodgeball while they could be writ should be an intramural ing papers, they are too sport. Gallagher thought excited about their game about it and decided it to focus on schoolwork. sounded like a good "When we're not play idea. Gallagher looked ing dodgeball we're to the National thinking about ii, and Intramural Recreational some of us have had Sports Association dreams about it," said (NIRSA) (0 research the Sehnare. subject further. He found This is not your typi that "several schools" cal sports enthusiasm, either already had and the excitement is not dodgebaU as an intramu exClusive to Schnare's ral spon. or were about unbeaten "G FY" learn. to introduce it. The list Sinee the addition of includes Providence dodgeball as an intramu· College. Colorado ral sport at RWU this College. Ohio State semester. more than 30 University, UCLA and teams have joined in the Keene Sate College. It fun. What might be even more surprising is that SEE DODGBBALL, PACE!. 3
... __ too ------• - the Hawk's Herald From Providence, with love "Subtleties ofLife 2: "Master Shake" looking handshake with Here's a breakdown of think of a quick and them? Despite that factlhe what I've had to deal with funny explanation for the Chris ViI/ano two are obviously from since I came to college: screw up. Contributing Writer different sides ofthe track, The Dead Fish: Quite Typical Supplier: The it is no accident they can possibly the most dreaded fault should be placed ·Dedicaled 10 the entire WcstsKle seamlessly connect (liter. ofall shakes. squarely on lhe shoulders Crew and CboIlI Hwsc* ally and figuratively) on Characteristics: This of the person who "Realfriends hug. " an introductory level. clammy, lifeless slab of attempted the regular Steve King Everywhere else in this tuna destroys first impres shake-never regular "New England the country there's a common sions like the A-bomb. shake your peers. This desrroyer"-that's what handshake or a "Master The receiver has to do all person clearly has no idea I'm going to sIan calling Shake," if you will. the up & down work, what's up. this place now. Let me break it down wh..ile doing IUs best not 10 The Rock, Paper, On one hand, this foul for you. II's a slap, grip quickly withdraw his Scissors: A variation of weathered region can be and a slide. Not that com· hand in disgust to wipe "the Mistaken Identity," proud of its destruction. plic:l.Ied bro. away the sweat and scales this shake can't even be Congrats, you now hold This meeting of the of his aquatic acquain considered a shake. If it the longest NFL single extremities is done to tance. were a professional boxer season winning streak and imply that, 1) you're Typical supplier: You it would be called the in the same year managed under the age of 30, 2) nonnally find this nauti~ "aberration of introduc· to break "the curse of the that you do not hold a full cal nuisance attacbed 10 tions.'· Bambino." (Both ofwhich time job in "the real someone who has given Characteristics: Oh have done wonders for world," 3) you're in louch up all hope offiguring out man, this is the worst. New England pride.) with the youth culture of how to shake hands in One guy goes for ANY But on the other hand, America and 4) that in New England. Or, on kind of outstretched, nor· Corrections: (Ijrerally), you're killing general. you're dOli'". someone who is black-out mal handshake while his me Smalls! Basically this is a way of drunk, but still function· counterpart throws ou.t Thanks to living in this saying "what up:' On the ing on a basic semi-con· the pound fist (much like place 1 can no longer other hand, lhe full grip, scious level. the way paper beats rock, In the 3/19 issue oftbe. shake another man's hand three pump standard shake The Mistaken Identity: No hence the name). There is for the rest of my life is a way of saying, "Hello one EVER sees this olle no way to avoid the awk 'Herald, we mistakenly printed unless 1endure long hours Sir .. or Madam, I am coming. wardness that is sure to that Shari Alvanas was a for of therapy (continue rearl pleased to make your Characteristics: This ensue this massive viola~ ing and it will become acquaintance;' and is nor occurs when two people tion of handshake eti· mer creative writing professor mOfC than obvious). mally reserved for adults. mistake the identit}, of quette. New England has com Throughout middle each other's outstretched Typical Supplier: An at RWU. She still teaches at pletely destroyed the school and high school I hand during that split sec· adult who is trying to be handshake for me. BUl could operate the Master and interval you have to cool orjust someone who the University wait, before you start say Shake with ease, and even detennine what's getting has no clue what's going ing lhings like "Chris, we wield slight variations thrown at you. One per on. This is common dur· didn't destroy anything, with different cliques. But son goes for the Master ing sporting events when Also, in the article about it's not our fault you can't now, thanks to New Shake while the other the fist pound is 1110st fre shake hands like a nonnal England, I'm at a point goes for the regular quently used Steph Plaud, to clarify: her human being," listen to where] fear meeting new shake. Much like a You know what; I'm boobs called Rib Tunes,and what I have to say. people simply based on volatile chemical combi just going to stop it at Don't you find it odd the fact that I have no idea nation, this meeting is that. This has gone on far the publishing company and that in every episode of what they're going to catastrophic. Two hands too long and is starting to ''Pimp My Ride," featur throw at me. Half the time lost in translation ending traumatize-me. If you try where to find the book, is ing a scrawny white guy, I'm appalled at what I in the realization that you to shake my hand at a rapper Xzibit always man· receive when I'meet new either have to pretend like party, I'm just going to hit Publish America, found at ages to nail a complicated people. that never happened or you with a salmon. www.PublishAmerica.com
Let Your Voice Be Beard!! RWU Student Senate Elections Editor: Blaine Moffa Managing Editor: Allisyn'Deyo Vote for Student Senators and Sports Editor: Timothy Mannion Stien Ifyou wish to run for an elected position, please pick up an application form at the Student Senate Office in the Rec Center. the Hawk's R:.,";aIdiCl:wli Sugar-high writer Hairs shares love ofjunk food AP~RI~cr10~ Nails Danielle Baldassini and comparing the tex· are popular in different Contributing Writer ture of the coconut in a cultures. As listeners Tanning Jf what you eat is a Mounds bar to "eating a disclosed their own per reflection of who you cuticle." His imagery sonal favorite candies, - are, Steve Almond has made some of the mem such as Ring Pops and Spa Pedicures us all beat in the sweet bers of the audience .even Japanese candy, we ness depanmenl. cringe, while albers learn thai we all have an 338 Metacom Ave.• Bristol, RI 02809 • 253-0TAN This dark, lanky laughed at the humorous obsession, or at least a (0826) author with a biting wit descriptions. strong preference, for and a huge obses~on Almond described his some kind of sweet with candy of all shapes book as "sensually spe· Ireat. and sizes, was a guest ~ _ Almond con- Dodgeball girls can legitimately again with all types and speaker on March 15. cluded the lecture compete with and ages. There is actually a (cont'd.jrom page J) Almond, the author with a shan reading against boys." chain of dodgeball cen of My Life ill Heavy from his most recent proved to be an increas Gallagher agrees, "~It's tcrs opening nationwide. Metal and more book, The Evil BB ingly popular trend. or as something everyone can The center goes by the recently, Ihe oh-so Chow and Other Gallagher put it, "the do. You don't have to be name Dodge-it and their suitably titled Stories, a collection next big thing." a super athlete, and it's motto is "strike without Candy/reale, is a for of short stories. Thc In!ramurals kicked off fun!" Gallagher was also hesitation." Dodge-it R~ mer journalist from story he read, "A their fall season at RWU happy to see females does not however cater Somerville, Mass., Happy Dream," was with a viewing of the turnout for the sport. He just 10 children; adults who teaches at about two people on movie "Dodgeball" says he is always look arc also welcome and Boston College. a "circwnstantial" before it had been ing for anything he can encouraged to partici~ He began his lec blind date. Once released 10 video. do to increase female pate. Dodge-it centers ture with a reading again, Almond's Immediately following interest in intramurals include indoor and out from COlldyfreak. a quirky, descriptive the movie a tournament and is open for sugges door arenas, leagues witty, sarcastic lake humor is evident. took place, DodgebaU, lions. He is hopeful that running throughout the on some of his, We learned both the movie and the dodgeball may be the year and tournaments on favorite candies as a from Almond the rei· game, were hiis. The stu key (0 increasing female special occasions. They child. such as Bubble cHic and a little bit evance of something as dents couldn't get intramurals, and will even offer specials for Yum and Pop Rocks. nutty'" He went on to simple as capdy in our enough. hopefully be able to corporate events and His clever metaphors explain the importance culture. Even if you "More and more peo~ include an all-girls birthday panies. had everyone in the of candy, that which don't think you have pie kept coming to sign dodgeball league in the Likewise, even adults room chuckling, com· many overlook. We much of a sweet tooth, up, Lnever expected it to paring being seen trick learn from Almond that candy is ''the sex, drugs, be so popular," said or-rfcanng Wifh his par candy is a "good way 10 ftnd rock-and-roll of our Gallagher. Olher popular ents when he was a kid examine life in the U.S. childhOOd," and that is intramural sports, such to "admitting that you in the 20th century:' as something we can all as soccer and baskelball. like Barry Manilow," different types of candy relate to. generally carry about 30 tearus. Dodgeball has 32 teams in all. Twenty Almond candy-coats classroom teams makc up the men's league and 12 Elizabeth Liederman Utis l'candy-oriented" tu confront his Pa&t in aoatributllla Writei' teams create a coed memoir. One example of order to describe the league. . ,To say Stev.Almond', craft found in Candy period in his life when Wh Meghan Rothschild English, grades six ed," says Brett Hobson, Almost evcry student Contributing Writer through II in the Bristol a junior international of Roth's is thankful for As she walks toward Schools." business major. "She the 25 years she's dedi the ccnter of the room, In 1985, Roth retired definitely bas compas cated to making the the once noisy crowd from Little Compton and sion for what she does." RWU chorus a recog turns into an obedient, began teaching part-time Jeff Fraser, a junior nized part of campus. and somewhat intimidat in Our Lady of Fatima criminal justice major, Every fall semester, her ed, group of students. High School. feels the same way. students prepare for Soon, the piano is play "It was music two "She's a little devil," what pas been referred to ing, and without ques days a wee~ for a couple he says. "I've been in as one of the most tion the class begins of years, while I was chorus with her for two "established nights" in singing "boa, boa, bow." teaching at RWU," Roth semesters and she's one Bristol. This frequent warm-up says, thinking back a few of the hardest working "In December 1981, for the Roger WiUiams years. "I also taught aca women I've ever met." the choruses of Roger University chorus mem demic courses [during] Roth isn't the only one Williams College and bers is grilled ioto their nights, summers and in her family who is Providence College, heads. inter~sessions, both musicaUy gifted. She has along with tbe Bristol Joan Roth, choir direc January and June." two daughters, Joanna, County Interfaith Choir, tor at RWU, has been Roth, who was born 47, and Kathryn, 43, united to present the first teaching for 25 years and and raised in Bristol, who have both chosen to in a series of holiday any student of hers stumbled upon a teach practice music. Joanna is concerts," Roth knows she means busi ingjob at RWU in 1981. a research biologist in explained. ness. "President Bill Rizzini Fairbanks, Alaska, and "This almost immedi "I love working with hired me at the sugges plays the harp. ately became an the students and have tion ofBetsy Argo oftbe Kathryn lives in esteemed Bristol tradi made lasting friends drama department," she Providence as a psycho tiar\." with many," she said. "I said. therapist and also is a Originally there was still hear from some who "She thought it would professional musician. one perfonnance, but in graduated in the 80s." be helpful for those stu She plays a wooden, 1986 a massive audi~ Although Roth has dents who were intercst- . eighteenth century ence, an overcrowded become a household ed in musical theater to baroque nute. Both are church and an angry fire name around campus, have a place to use their graduates of Brown chief forced the choir to RWU isn't the only place voices when the depart University. add a second perfonn she has expressed her ment wasn't doing a When Roth isn't con ance. musical talent. musical." ducting a music class, Over the years, the "I was a music special Since then, Roth bas she's participating in concert has gained popu· ist for the Little provided students with a some of her favorite larity and allowed stu Compton, Rhode Island, place to cltpress them hobbies. dents at RWU to contin Joan Roth, choir director at RWU, has been teach school department when selves vocally, and a "I have been a sailor ue to be part of the ing for 25 years. Students who had Roth years ago 1 came to Roger chance to get in touch all my life," she says. Bristol coqununity. still keep in contact with her. "I haue made lasting Williams College," she with the surrounding "And 1 have seen much "It's a good opportuni- friendships with many," said Roth. said. "I had also taught -community. of Europe and been to SEE JOAN PAGB 6 American History and "She's very dedicat- Alaska six times." , . . .- • . ' ...... , the Hawk's Herald page 5 FULL Tlf4E WEDNESDAY, P,\RTTI\1E APRfL6TH 2005 SUM,..,IER REC.CENTER FIELDHoUSE 1:00-3:30 WWW.RWU.EDU/CAREER.HTML QUES1iONS? COm'ACTTHE CARE:ER CENTER: 254-3224·[email protected] ADP -A.W.~-.AmtricanE:qlrenFizuncil.lAdvison: -~ollo Security,Jnc.-~md C&rualty-~-~Mmshm,~ & Arbommn- Bomr's Warll-~(BlL~stDNVaD.ty)- Ctlhha.n,It\c. - C.E. 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Work Sun~ -or- Thur,FrI,5at Choose from 3 or~ work week (10 or12 hourshifts) Day, evening, and night time shifts available To applv, call Gold Medal Bakery at 1-800-642-7568, ext 7~ Or email dQ.lllltO.ll~~Imt~~~,¥-l:Qln Or apply in person to 21 Penn St, Fall River, MA Fer directions, call 1-800-642-7568, ext 6 ---~_.. ..-... _~~ ...... - __~ - ..-,. - - lhe Hawk's Herald page 6 Joan (cont'd.jrom page 4) ty for the audience to see and hear RWU stu dents," she said. "There is also a good relationship developed between community chorus members and RWU students during rehearsals.-, Although Roth has loved her time spent at RWU, her experiences don't come without complaint. "The only thing that I really don't like is a lack of facilities and space with which to work, and it's been 25 years." Roth, who has become extremely • dedicated to the cho rus, has been required to provide practice space at her own home...It says some thing about the com mitment of the univer sity to music perform ance," she said. "'If we are a university, the students deserve a uni versity experience." Roth may have con cerns with the music facilities, but she couldo'lwith her students.be happier ,::::::::::;::==:::::::::::::=:::::::~;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;=====:::::;:;;;;;.;:=~ "1 am conlent that the chorus gives its Wyclef Jean to very best with the music we choose together." she said. headline spring "Their holiday cooeen at Blithewold was one of the finest I've heard. I was bursting with pride and the audience loved it." Bryenne Libby, a junIor communica tions major, recognizes Roth's hard work and her ability to run a tight class. "I was in Joan's class last semester," she says. "She's tough, but in the end you can see Journalism Professor wins it in the performance." Roth agrees that hard work and dedica New England book award tion is the key to a suc cessful performance. Communications Professor Edward J. Delaney has "One person who been awarded the 2005 L.L. Winship/PEN New doesn't know what he England Award. Delaney's second book, Warp and or she is doing can destroy a perform- Weft, won in the fiction category. The award is given ance," says Roth. annually to an author from ew England. Past recipi "Choral singing ents include: E.B. White, Andre Dubuis, Susan demands that ev~ryone be in the same place at Cheever, Tracy Kidder and Anita Shreve. The L.L. the same split second, Winship/PEN Award honors Boston Globe editor, and that takes prac tice." Laurence L. Winship and is sponsored by the Boston Globe and PEN/New England. Fashion should have OL _Is ttirFI111_of."eta .... Is ~ de -"""""8 girl In de""{4. ~,",.,., to be like, I iIMg "'" ""1/1 .." /...__ aM _ her stayed in closet .y cell QIM/...4JJ/ -..AI • rault slte is Itl· Broadway tunc. The onstage, greeted by con erIIIJy -..... I got IJ/s ewry liMe I'.. Koitlin Evans ..,}bu! aM ijT."",DllillteIget CtlIL song was irrelevant to fusion from the hosts, to apirone Contributing Writer the show and dido'l demonstrate what not to I was jtul trying 10 be "ju! W1Ial can I de wtllwul Itm1trtg tile f-U. of Ihis socia/Jy Unfortunately for pump up the audience. It wear. challenged girl? CEN, MSU and the actually had the opposite The next fashion cate· -Always AllrtrCu Lo.en Career Center, this affect and seemed to gory was Business year's Fashion Show depress those who had Casual: outfits more A_ was definitely a miss. chosen DOl to leave yet. appropriate if you don't We have heard this story. million times! We'd just like to thank you for try Luckily though, Debra's work in an office. The It started out with a ing to be nice to your socially awkward peer. kuOOs to you for being-a good per· S~ial shan dress distracted lhe ladies wore green or performance by 500. Tbese situations sometime$ result in developing not a friendship, but gening cap~lla audience from her off· khaki suits paired with Delivery, the a to know 8 clingy weirdo. She needs to learn to make other friends, so maybe you group. singing the key singing. matching pocketbooks could sir her down and talk to her. Tell her that she tends to be a bit overbearing national anthem. Next up Getting back to fash and stilettos. They also and it turns people off. Perhaps all-she needs is an anitude adjustment. lfshe is were the MSU dancers ion, the show moved on paired light trench coats still annoyingly petSistent. block her from AJM. She will have no idea you aren't with a hip hop dance to Club Wear. At a cru with noral print skins just signed off. Or you coWd stop responding to lMs or tell her that you're busy performance. prev;ous!y cial moment involving and matching solid tops. with homework.. You can do the same thing with the phone calls, but ifil gets out seen at their lalent show~ the audience, tbe DJ The guys wore V·neck of hand either report her to public safety or call tb~ phone company. You can case in the fall. After failed miserably. Instead sweaters over button probably get her number blocked. She will continue [0 be a nuisance ifyou don't thai, the fashion part of of playing the appropri down shirts with an take these SlCps. Whatever you do, don't be afraid ro put her in her place. Ifshe's the show started. ate techno or hip hop, optional tie. becoming intrusive you have a right to put an cnd to it. For Urban Wear. the the DJ opted to play The next talenl portion Good luck! look of the moment is disco songs that are out- of the night was MSU Hi Meg andAsh!.'!! Firsl·time en/oiler, 10llg lime reader ofall your cotunms. I probabty shoul Slart offby saying I'm a junior guy here at RWU. Everything has been going In an unsuccessful attempt to hold the sensor;onalthis spring and t om exciledfor the slimmer 10 start so I ("tm see my boyfriend. The tJu'ttg is "one ofmyfriends know Iam a.homosexual and my parr audience's attention, the fashion show 'leI' wants to visit sometime after spring break. I've been himing (Jlvlmd the idea 0/gelting a morel ill Newport for lhe weela!nd. hit! he insisu on meetillg all 0/ turned into a fashion and talent show, myfricmls (including myslraight gUYfriends, YIKES!) I rea/~v think l'm in low with my partner but I'm soscon!d ofwhat myfriends will say. especialty since showcasing a relll talent show's rejects. my PfJrtller thinks I aurw ali 'he 14vJ' out ofthe closet "'im tn'cryon€' floW!. in reality I'm so IIRICIt ill I1Je dJJsel, excqJl wMn I'm with Itilll. Evnyone I know IteNmaknjutt o/IM 'ct/use! $peQJ: F1'f!rICItjlWlll/y. My parlMr is/rom France. definitely capris paired daled and unhcard of. dancers, perfonning (1 met hi'" while ski'" In the Alps) and has 1¥'Ce1IIfy moved to Ihe U,s. (New ~ with stilelto heels or lay· Guys wore their usual dunccs from differem HmnfMltire). I don want allY 0/my friends 10 not like him because Ire speaks '1_ If'... comfort· ered t-shirts over boy-cut button. down shirts and cultures, including a Mtlre1lllW...... Jf'" more abk 10 him I. why should lie $peok EJrglls" to plm~ lifer, righ, girls? Well tanks for a layered, but distressed jeans while tribute piece to Michael girU. I hope J'OfI C'aII 1M OWl. I WOIIJd a!$0 love to hang out with 'he (M.'O of puHogether look for the ladies wore dark Jackson, honoring what MIl' girls. The guys dressed jeans and lighter lOpS I assume is American you _1IigIu''''',....'" spuMy aNI/rill Iow.g. In 1lte Cia'" In A1trteIda in oversized Polo and G adorned with sequins or culture. Although the Unit shirts paired with beads. Next was the Neo daf!ces were good, they laneclo_ baggy pants. Both girls Soul category. This was were performances pre We'd tint like to.y daaDb for the invite; we do like to think ofourselves .s and guys can wear faded more of a hippie look viously seen in. MSU's ...... ,. UnforllllWdy,"" can', accepI pm... invilloli_: -.we we'd be jeans and wife-beaters with tie.. _...... -_.. • .... ~ .. - -.;::..,::,...... ,...... •. > .... ---~ - -. ...-",.--*"'-'""'*... .--~---..'"----.. -"'-"'- .-- +;0'_---_ ....,-'" the Hawk's Herald page 8 Men's baseball already Sports, in mid-season swing My Way Christopher Parish Christopher POlish where John Frizzell posted a 3~2 record Contributing Writer Contributing Writer 2~ paced the team going J. ovcrall while Tyler is Students at Acton RWU baseball is in impres~ 6 with 6 RBI. Mati I. Tyler has an MiddJe School III full swing. Bernacki shut down the sive 2.61 ERA while Massachusetts are peti The tcam has high Wentworth offense with Bernacki has posted 20 tioning the Red Sox and expectations for what a four~hit perfonnance, of the team's 55 total Yankees to shake hands may prove to be a suc~ striking OUl two. strikeouts already this before their game cessful year. At 7-6, the The team has a solid season. Sunday. The proposal, team has had a solid balance of offense, The Hawks are I~I in which included a Power opening; especially con~ defense and pitching. lhe conference, having Point presentation of sidering the tcam only Bryce Dumond's .426 split the home games previous brawls between had three home games average in I 3 games against Wentworth. -No the two teams and stu~ (two ofwhich came in a heading into the week other team in the cce dents mocking the sce doublc~header against end IS outstanding. has played a game in the narios, was a heart-felt Wentworth). Frizzell leads the team conference, but RWU gesrure that intends 10 During the team's in RBis with IJ, while has the best overall display sportsmanship spring break tri.p 10 Bobby Criscuolo and record at 7~6.ln fact, the and professionalism. Chandler, AZ, they Andrew Dillon aren't Hawks are the only team How touching. played nine games and far behind with II each. in the conference with' a I don't like it. finished a respectable 5 Dillon has already hit record ovcr .500 Is nothing sacred any 4. The team has since two of the team's three (Endicott. at 3-3, is sec more? Has the world returned and played .500 home runs (Frizzell tal· ond). become so immersed in ball (2-2), including a lied the other). The Hawks look to political correClness that split in their conference Criscuolo is perfect in continue their successful now these teams are match-up lasl weekend stolen base attcmpts at season with a stretch of supposed to be friends? against Wentworth. )-). conference games in the Top, Men's recreational basketball team. How does that lead ,to After dropping. the first Bernacki and Matt coming week, including Above, Co-Ed competitive soccer team. the thrills of competi~ game 12-4, the tcam Tyler have each started a home gm:ne Saturday Below, Co-Ed recreational soccer team. tion? The teams thrive rebounded for an four games for the versus conference foc Bottom left, Men's competitive basketball on the greatest rivalry in impressive 15-1 win, Hawks. Bernacki has Anna Maria College. team. professional sports, and it is fueled on hatred. We watch the Sox and' the Yankees play because the games are great and the learns hate each other. We watch because at any miuute, Varitek could jump A-Rod wilh another mitt to the jaw, Schilling could throw one of those 95-mph heaters and bit Posada squarely in the back. or Manny could start swinging his bat reck~ lcssly at anyone who moves. Remember tbat nobody watches the HeatlLakers games because it's interesting; Field of Dreams and we watch because Screams everyone's waiting for Kobe to talk trash to Sbaq while Shaq Timothy Mannion '