The Docket Historical Archives

10-1-1992

The Docket, Issue 3, October 1992

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Recommended Citation "The Docket, Issue 3, October 1992" (1992). The Docket. 167. https://digitalcommons.law.villanova.edu/docket/167

This 1992-1993 is brought to you for free and open access by the Historical Archives at Villanova University Charles Widger School of Law Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Docket by an authorized administrator of Villanova University Charles Widger School of Law Digital Repository. Vol. XXIX, No. 3 THE VILLANOVA SCHOOL OF LAW October, 1992

Common Sense In Allocating Organization Space by Tim Bryant the other student organizations At the present time there is a no longer meets the needs of the Hmited amount of space in the general Law School community. Law School to meet the needs of New organizations, such as the student organizations. Rather Sports & Entertainment Law than just complain about this Society, the Tax Law Society, and dilemma I decided to write this the Family Law Society have article to suggest some alterna­ some of the largest memberships tives to our administration. My and have held some of the most hope is not that my idea or the exciting events in recent memory. current proposed solution be In fact, the Law School used adopted. My hope is that some­ photos from several of these thing will be done and that wha­ events in our alumni magazine. tever is done, will be done using Yet, members often have had to "common sense." make arrangements for events by The current problem involves using personal phones, stationery our approximately 21 student and credit cards. In addition, there organizations and the Environ­ has been no phone number that mental Law Journal. Only 11/21 guests could contact for informa­ of these organizations have office tion and directions on the night space: the Law Review, the Envir­ of the events. Furthermore, the onmental Law Journal, Moot allocation of office space is not Court, SBA, the Honor Board, the related to the activity of the. Environmental Law Society, BAL­ organizations. This is evidenced SA, Women's Law Caucus, Phi by the fact that last year the three Delta Phi, the Federalist Society organizations that received the organization is more important or and (b) that the room that is proposal is not officially before and the Docket. I was informed most money from SBA, in recog­ better than another. Thus, none currently home to BALSA, Wom­ any committee, but the first that these organizations were nition of their contribution to the should have independent office en's Law Caucus, Phi Delta Phi, alternative is. If you support the given office space on a first in school, are the Sports & Enter­ space. I realize this may be hard and The Federalist Society be official proposal, my proposal or time/first in right basis. That tainment Law Society, Rugby and to swallow for some student transformed into a publication any such proposal please show information May be maccurate^ the Court Jesters. Yet none of organizations, but the "good of the center. This room would conais#; r.^our support by writing a note to however, that is irrelevant in these organizations have office many outweighs the good of the of large layout tables, computers, our SBA. By writing to SBA you deciding what the solution to this space. few" in this situation. I realize laser printers and copy machines will be speaking out to our admin­ dilemm.a should be. Finally, the Docket, publica­ that proposal was the result of an with graphics and newsletter istration and requesting that they The problem is twofold. First, tions produced by the Women's awful lot of lobbying, compromise publication capabilities. The equip­ use COMMON SENSE IN AL­ the Environmental Law Journal is Law Caucus and the Sports & and debate. That is undoubtedly ment for this room need not come LOCATING STUDENT OR­ cramped into an office space of Entertainment Law Society, the the reason for the special treat­ overnight. The room can be GANIZATION SPACE. approximately 15'by 12'6". In this proposed publications by the ment portion of the proposal. In designed to start out with large The author is a member of the space, the Journal has crammed Corporate Law Society and the short, I do not mean to offend any tables and the equipment for the Environmental Law Journal and a three computers, two printers, Family Law Society (my apologies individual organizations. I do room can be added and improved co-founder of the Sports & Enter­ two desks, two file cabinets, one if I left out a publication in this mean to seek fairness for all on over time. This room would be tainment Law Society. His opinions table, four chairs, one bookshelf, listing) have no room to produce student organizations in our Law home to the Docket, the publi­ are not necessarily reflective of the a trash can and mailboxes. This and design their publications. The School. cations by the Women's Law positions of those organizations. does not leave much room for Law Review, Journal and Moot Second, is my proposal, which Caucus and the Sports & Enter­ Yet, he did want readers to be aware storage or shipping of publica­ Court are our Law School's formal also suggests that the Environ­ tainment Law Society, the pro­ of the origin of his interest in this tions. Nor room for meetings for vehicles which allow students to mental Law Journal move from posed publications by the Corpo­ matter. the current 36 members (13 of improve their writing skills. How­ what is currently room 6 into rate Law Society and the Family whom are Journal board ever, all publications which what is currently the binding Law Society, and any future members). In addition, the logis­ encourage students to write and room in the library. The differen­ student organization tical problems of having the edit will undoubtedly improve the ces in my proposal are: (a) that publications. journal office closed at midnight, writing skills of the individuals what is currently room 6 would The goal of this article is not when the main building does, and involved and can only help our be transformed into an "activi­ to debate which proposal is better. having to walk back and forth Law School. ties" center for ALL student The goal is to encourage our Law from room 6 to the library for As for solutions to these prob­ organizations. Where each organ­ School administration to change every reference question, fax and lems I will present two. The first ization would have the opportun­ the current system. Hopefully, O book use is an unneeded and is a current proposal before the ity to keep a file cabinet and have that will mean that all current burdensome problem. Law School's Faculty Committee. access to a phone and desk. and future organizations get treat­ Second, the current system for The second is my own thoughts Regardless of the current success ed fairly and the Law School will THIS is f He '5 ': on the matter. First, the current of the organization or when they provide all of its student organ­ proposal before the Faculty Com­ were founded on this campus. A izations with professional facili­ ^?^"BiNDERY , ' mittee is to move the Environmen­ central planning calendar would ties to produce first class Journals, tal Law Journal from what is be placed on a main bulletin board events and publications. This will ^ ' W h-' Inside currently room 6 into what is where scheduled events would be further enhance the learning currently the binding room in the posted and phone time could be process, cultural experience and I library. In addition, it proposes reserved for the night of events. reputation of our Law School. My This that room 6 be designated an "activities" center for all organ­ izations that do not have inde­ Edition... pendent office space. The Vlllanova Docket U.S. POSTAGE The current status of this Villanova Law School PAID proposal appears to be - hold Vlllanova, PA 19085 Villanova, Pa. 1-900-BOB-TALK... while a university study on space ParmH No. 5 is done. That solution seems to p.4 be a sensible compromise to all the Non-Pro(il Organizalioh current players involved in the The Bottom Line... office space game. Yet, it does not address the need for room to p. 5 produce the student organization publications. In addition, it distin­ Roving Reporter... guishes between student organi­ p. 8 zations based on the time of their founding, not on their current or Faculty Student future activity. I do not think that is an adequate measuring stick Softball Game ... because no one knows how active an organization will be in two, five p.24-25 or ten years. I do think that no non-credit or un-elected student Page 2 * THE POCKET • October, 1992 iEDITORIALi And So It Goes . . . Letters to the Editor by Angeline Chen difficult? Be a little considerate to All right, I've had it. No more your colleagues — life in law Linda Ellerbee jokes. First of all, school is frustrating enough with­ Resume Woes Comment she stole the phrase "And so it out having to hunt franticly for Letters To The Editor social security number. A lot of goes" from someone herself, and that U.S. Reporter, only to find it There is a problem within our law schools already do this, and on second, the phrase was in my two hours later in a pile of books law school which needs to be it is not really a tough system to repertoire long before I ever knew callously left behind in the copy corrected. The present career implement. I am sure that some ABA she made it her trademark. We room. planning and placement scheme people might find out other peo­ don't even look similar. (She's Appreciation is noted for those At the annual meeting of the for interview selection is com­ ple's social security numbers, and American Bar Association in taller, for one thing.) of you who have been sending pletely f**ked up. To summarize it is true that some people will still So here it's mid-October, and do letters to The Villanova Docket. So August, the ABA House of Dele­ for all you naive first years out see other people coming in their gates adopted a policy favoring you know where your outlines far, we have maintained a policy there, if you get selected for an suits for interviews, but the whole abortion "rights" — not a policy are? That is, those of you who are of printing all of them, including interview, your name is posted on process will become a lot more actually writing your own out­ those that are submitted anonym­ to remain neutral, but one of that big, ugly board in the main private, and I believe that it will actively supporting pro-abortion lines, and not cozying up to ously, or signed by such pseudo­ floor hallway. The problem is that lessen the tension within the second-years and third-years try­ nyms as "Eggbert McFishbis- legislation. Many attributed the most of the bigger law firms school. resolution's success to the grow­ ing to scarf their outlines (that cuit." We intend to continue doing which come on campus, for some Second, I believe that there they scarfed when they were first- so. There seems, however, to be ing number of female lawyers in reason or another, believe that the should be a maximum number of the ABA who, it is claimed, over­ years oh so long ago). And so the a slight trend towards rather students with the highest grades resume drops allowed for the top psych-out games begin as well. scathing remarks aimed at specific whelmingly favor a right to will make the best lawyers, and 15-20 percent rank of the class. abortion. From the die-hards who remain individuals. We would like to so these are pretty much the Almost everyone in this range is As a (former) member of the law in the library well past 3 or 4 a.m. maintain the policy of printing people who are getting selected. getting all or most of their inter­ (and we know who you are — we any and all letters that are sub­ student division of the ABA, I can As you can imagine, everyone sees views. Some people in this range say that many female lawyers and copy all your license plates down) mitted in respect to the First this list. To be quite honest, this of grades freaked out and dropped to the feverish outlining gurus Amendment — however, personal law students are opposed to abor­ hasn't helped class morale. There over 30 resumes. All this does is tion. We believe that all human who are hogging all the study attacks come mighty close to is a lot of frustration within a lot take away interviews from people room time, the endless cycle of law being "over the line of acceptabil­ life, born and unborn, is sacred. of qualified second years, who below them. If we limit the resume We recognize that the ability to school mania continues. Not to ity." It's not a constitutional because they got a little unlucky dropping to 15 for this group, fear, if you don't have the guts issue, mind you, but it's more bring new life into the world is on first year exams, are being people will be more selective to a blessing, not a burden. Those (or the stomach) to weasel outlines along the lines of playing clean constantly passed over by these where they drop, and I do predict from your fellow colleagues, Chi­ and fair. If you don't dare to sign in the ABA who believe that a narrow minded firms. Some peo­ that most people in this group will right to abortion is the most cago Law Bookstore, et al, are your name to it, how much is it ple are probably feeling really get between 13-15 interviews if more than willing to take your worth? If you wish to maintain important concern of women in shitty about themselves, which they pick wisely. People below America are sadly mistaken. credit card numbers and ship you confidentiality, names can be they really shouldn't be, because this group will then hopefully get (in brown paper wrapping no less) Any member of the legal pro­ withheld upon request. But it these law firms are just following more interviews from the firms any fession must ask himself or herself number of Gilbert's and lends more credibility to what you a stupid tradition. The conse­ who say top 35 percent or wha­ Emanuel's (as well as hornbooks say when you're not afraid to whether he or she can support the quence of this is that a lot of people tever, but now have less higher ABA in light of its abortion reso­ for the more affluent and ambi­ admit that you said it. In risk of are pissed off at the people who grades to choose from, so they will tious). Just don't tell the profs you offending the bastions of Political lution. A sound decision in this are getting all of the interviews give other people a chance, and area requires an informed con­ read it here. Hornbooks, now Correctness rumored to exist in because they feel that this system they will get to see that the quality there's a good one. If you don't our school (what, here? Political science, so the Catholic Law is unfair. of student at Villanova does not Students Association has tenta­ have time to read the textbook in Correctness?): Stand up, show Believe it or not, I do have a end when you go below the top a course, how are you going to find your face and fight like a man. tively planned a symposium in solution to this prolalem, which I 20 percent. November to help increase student the time to read the damn As a last note. The Villanova admit is not 100 percent effective, Something has got to be done and faculty awareness of this hornbook? Docket is off to a flying start this but at least will make things about the present system because year, thanks to the input and issue. One thing's for sure — if you better. First, I admit that we can't I am getting tired about being contributions of many of your Become informed and listen to are planning to stay late at school change the attitude of these law hated. This school has got to do colleagues and fine-feathered your conscience. Can you remain (to read that hornbook you just firms, who one day will hopefully whatever it can to try and insure friends. A few people have com­ in the ABA? If you are not yet a bought, for instance) make sure learn that law school grades are that people not just in the top of member, should you join? mented to me that we seem to be to park as close to the building not an accurate indicator of who the class have a chance to get a Remember, while there is much rather conservative in nature. will become a good lawyer. How­ job. Until we change the present as possible. If you%rrive too late The Villanova Docket is meant to pressure to-belong to the AJBA, it : to obtain a prime parking spot, go ever, people can be listed on the system, animosity will continue be a reflection of our law school is not mandatory. back out and move your car when board for interviews by their to exist within our halls. community — as such, it survives Wendy Sengstack classes have let out and the lot (Name withheld) only as a result of the input it 3Y is more empty but before it gets receives. If you feel that The dark. This is particularly perti­ Villanova Docket is one-sided, by nent to those of the female per­ all means jump in and express the suasion. (Not to be sexist, but other side and take a chance at statistics are statistics. Females explaining to Bob "We're Just Like 1-900-JACKASS tend to get attacked more often Family" Turchi why he should than men.) Those who remain him down a bit. switch sides and turn Democrat, How many of you first years 9. Some of his idiocy might rub past sundown will testify that the Some of you might say he's a off on you or why Conservative Guy Tom had no clue as to what the hell parking lot problem has not been Bob Turchi had to say in last jerk, but at least he's sensitive, Dougherty' should finally face 8. You don't want to hear the addressed. No, not the lack of month's Docket? Can you say, right? Wrong. This was shown by Sugartown Mews story again, reality, throw in the conservative parking spaces, but the lack of "The worst and most self- his continuing verbal attacks on do you? towel and support Bill Clinton. lighting in the parking lots. aggrandizing piece of crap I have AWARE, a women's group here at 7. You don't know whose body Tell us why you hate/love/ Beyond the first four or five rows, ever read in my life?" What the school. I must admit, he's getting he might be hiding in his couldn't care less about Villanova utter darkness manages to almost hell was with that stupid analogy better though. He only called them briefcase. Law School. Let the administra­ completely obscure the major and algebra? And "overly-sensitive crybabies" 6. He may run you over if class tion know that you're not going about calculus portion of the parking lot along have you ever seen the word That's a lot better than bitches, is just ending. to take it any more. Explain why County Line Road. Carry a base­ "genii" in a sentence? Is that like don't you think? 5. He may try to hypnotize you you think pro bono work should ball bat. Say, can we trade in that "I Dream of Genii?" And three Finally, he tried in vain to inject with his dullness. or shouldn't be mandatory for law Call Box for a couple of lights? roommates in three years? Can't some humor in his trash by using 4. If you just talk to him, he may students or lawyers. Write wha­ On other goings-on in our lovely keep a friend, huh Turch? Gee, I a top ten list (Top 10 reason to tever you want to, but write. The convince you to be his new halls, there has been a reported wonder why. live in Sugartown Mews). Hey roommate. plea shows up in every small- decrease in food being stolen from The whole story was a waste Bob, get a life. You're not funny 3. The moustache may come community newspaper, and The the refrigerator in the vending and you don't make people laugh. Villanova Docket is no different. of recycled paper. Does anyone back at any time. room. Nevertheless, this is still a But that's OK because you have Please express your opinions — care what Bob did to keep his rent 2. He may write about you in the no sense of humor, anyway. If you nasty practice for whomever is The Villanova Docket is here for down? Is this material really next Docket. indulging in gastronomic klepto­ worth sharing with the whole want to make people laugh, how your use as a vehicle to open mania. People bring their lunches about growing back that cheesy And number one: communication and informational school? If he's trying to impress in to school for their own benefit, anybody, maybe he should write string of hair you call a moust­ 1. He might actually (ugh! discourse. It cannot do it by itself. often to save money (so they can ache? At least then you looked as gross!) TOUCH you! * It's tough to find the time, but it's an article about how he is put those hard-earned dollars into ALWAYS the first one out of the stupid as you are. But just to make * I must give credit to all his well worth the effort — if only to our somewhat hefty tuition), not room when a class is over. I think you happy (I know you love top previous roommates for helping get away from legal writing for a to subsidize some sticky-fingered he'd give ten lists, you comic genius, you), me with the #1 reason. while. And your opinion matters. Carl Lewis a good race reprobate with the munchies. in the 100 meter dash. Of course, I have constructed my own list. So, remember the next deadline Signed, as always, Hunger pangs arrive at their Top 10 Reasons To Avoid Bob for submissions is November 6 the briefcase he takes everywhere, To Bob "I have no friends so no scheduled time, and lo and behold, sleeps with, talks to, and mastur­ Turchi like a plague: (Friday), and we'll see you next one calls me anything but jackass" the tuna sandwich made lovingly issue. bates with, would perhaps weigh 10. He's a jackass. Turchi that morning has disappeared in someone's unknown gullet. Come on already. This is obviously the act of someone who is Evil Incar­ nate. Stealing books, stealing money — these things are at least Overheard Next a fact of societal existence. But 7 can*t move my thumbs as fast as I used to. yy stealing FOOD? From students! This really cuts to the essence of — Lounge Submission what is wrong in our society. yy Speaking of wrong in society, "ril catch anything you've got. it seems that there are those among us who are incapable of — Library Deadline: common courtesy or, at the least, incapable of reading the signs in the copy rooms of the library. You ^Everyone's entitled to my opinion!" November 6 know, the ones which say "Please — Cafeteria re-shelve books"? Is it really that October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 3

Turchi Responds Democrats, Republicans It's refreshing to note that his commute from his hometown Villanova Law School not only has less taxing. Not exactly the male a student body that continues to version of "Single White Female!" and the '92 Election grow in diversity, but also has Moreover, the reference to my by Sal Pastino the United Nations and China, a dates leave Democrats yearning something I have never witnessed alleged stupidity clearly shows With the Presidential elections man who once headed the CIA, for another John F. Kennedy and in person, but have seen many that in your self-indulging polit­ so close at hand, there is much Bush should have been the Pres­ Republicans, despite Watergate, times on episodes of "Geraldo" — ical correctness, you just cannot disagreement about whether or ident with the right mix of domes­ for another Richard M. Nixon. A COWARD! respond intelligently in the mar­ not there is a real choice out there tic and international know-how to At a time when both parties are Yes, believe it or not, amid these ketplace of ideas. I may not be a for the voters. Republican party run the nation. He certainly attempting to tear each other hallowed halls roams one like the genius, nor have I ever claimed to bosses have stooped to the old proved he could defend the nation apart, extremists are trying to rip Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux be, but as a sustaining member tactic of calling Democrat Bill in Panama and the Persian Gulf, the parties apart from within. The Klan; ever so quick to criticize the of the Alpha Chapter of Phi Beta Clinton a "tax and spend liberal". but he wasn't actually able to do Republican Party had to contend Italians, Jews, Blacks, etc., (and Kappa, I have good reason to Democrats, while careful with anything for the nation domesti­ with ultra-conservative Pat Buch­ any other ethnic group perceived believe that I'm no idiot. their choice of words, have very cally. When the recession became anan referring to President Bush as impure by the Klan) yet NOT So, COWARD, if you're such an strongly implied that George worse, he committed the unfor- as "King George the First" while SO EAGER TO SHOW HIS OWN intelligent man of the world, why Bush is a weak wimp and for this giveable error of vetoing additional Democrats had to wrestle with FACE! I have always been open can't you get your cliches right? reason doesn't deserve to have a unemployment benefits. This is ultra-environmentalist Jerry to criticism, as I jokingly assert It should be, "Top Ten Reasons chance at a second term. Billio­ the man who thinks he deserves Brown. H. Ross Perot still can't in my columns that the dis­ to Avoid Bob Turchi Like the naire H. Ross Perot continues to a second term? convince Americans that he has gruntled may refer all hate mail Plague." I guess you didn't count stir up trouble but he isn't offering Believe it or not, there was really made up his mind about his to Box #640, but usually, people on my having at least one friend any real solutions. While the polls actually a time when our Presi­ candidacy. All these three men who take issue with my views who would show me your drivel have had Democrat Clinton ahead dents knew what to do in a time managed to do with their agendas have the integrity to confront me before editing. I also wonder why by as much as fifteen or twenty of crisis. Democrat Franklin Dela­ was to confuse and alienate the face to face. you can't form complete senten­ percent, the reality is that, whoev­ no Roosevelt may not have neces­ voters even more. Alienated voters For those of you who don't ces. Your number 7 reason orig­ er wins, the margin could be as sarily known what to do about who don't go to polls mean that know the history alluded to in the inally read, "You don't whose low as one to five percent. That stopping the Great Depression, we get less qualified candidates in COWARD'S Letter to the Editor, body he might be hiding in his is how confused America is about but he did know how to give the long term. last year I defended the First briefcase." Don't you think "in its choice of candidates. Americans hope and confidence. When going to the polls in Amendment rights of a colleague the back of his van" or "under­ Would history help provide an His public work programs kept November, remember that despite on The Docket who wrote a satiric neath the family swimming pool" answer about who would be the the nation busy until the time of the problems that overwhelm us, piece about a man who found would have been more approp­ better candidate for President? recovery was at hand. His fireside our votes do count. Change will himself without a valentine on riate? It doesn't take a rocket Probably not. Generally Demo­ chats gave consumers enough come but only very gradually. February 14th. While many scientist to know that you're crats have always been for the courage to begin saving money When voting, vote for the candi­ thought the article was humorous, referring to the fact that my common person while Republi­ again and gradually revived the date you think has a real plan for others found it offensive toward surname ends in a vowel. I guess cans have been for the rich and banking industry. pulling the nation forward and women. After that battle, I if I were Afro-American, you'd powerful. That really wasn't a Republican Dwight Eisenhower keep on voting at every election responded to an issue of AWARE make some snide reference to problem for the nation until about was a shrewd diplomat as well as that comes along. In the end, that in which a contributed article Hammer backing for Colonel twelve years ago when America, a good domestic leader. Managing is the only way politicians will contained such rhetoric to the Sanders! (Please, no letters regard­ rebounding from the humiliation to steady the nerves of the nation listen to a disgruntled America. effect that "all men exercise ing that last crack. I'm just trying of the Iranian hostage crisis, through eight years of the Cold complete control over women by to make a point. Even Phil elected Ronald Reagan as Presi­ War, America mostly prospered holding the threat of rape over Donahue said we have to cut down dent. This actor tricked the nation during his two terms as President. their heads." I found it funny that on the prejudices against the Italo- into thinking that only good times The fifties are the years that authors of a publication, the Americans even if the 6th amend­ were ahead while ignoring the Americans are most nostalgic purpose of which was to stir ment doesn't apply to us.) problems of poverty, drug abuse, about even today. All this prosper­ debate, would lambast me for Finally, COWARD, if your crit­ AIDS, crime and all the other ity occured while Eisenhower doing just that. My aim was to icisms were made in good faith problems affecting the nation. As administered the nation from golf point out that men can become and in good humor regarding my governor of California, Reagan courses. just as incensed at sweeping views, rather than my alleged seemed to care about middle-class There was a time when Presi­ 0 generalizations about their alleged foibles, then I'd have no problem America but, as President, Ronald dential candidates who were run­ inherent brutality as women do with you. Perhaps in the future seemed to have lost a large portion ning against each other would when some say all they do is nag. yoa might get up the courage to of his conscience. < - attack each other's plans and not This brings me to my present show your face or at least sign George Bush, coming to us at each other as individuals. Politics your name to your personal a time of the Gary Hart scandal has always been a dirty business T battle. I guess my left-handed commendation to Professor Louis attacks. However, signed or not, and an uncharismatic Democratic but today it has descended to J. Siriclo, Jr. for having decided to I never back down from a fight, candidate Michael Dukakis, sewer level. What does it matter teach us about Landlord-Tenant nor do I hide behind the rules of seemed to be the perfect President that a candidate had an affair 10 law early in the semester was protocol to rationalize squelching for America. This man actually or 15 years earlier? What does a E somehow vulgar. However, it your views. It would have been fought and shouted down Ronald candidate's draft record matter? pales in comparison to the scur­ nice if you had voiced them more Reagan during the 1979 primaries Things such as this simply don't rilous personal attack waged by candidly. Signed to the point where he had to tell people how well or how poorly the COWARD. Forthermore, the Bob, "My friends have choose him as his Vice-President. they will run the nation. The 1 fact that the entire student body faces and signatures," Turchi A diplomat who represented us at trivial pursuits of today's candi­ • may have never seen the word "genii" in a sentence is irrelevant. Why don't you corroborate your own ignorance by referring to page 301 of the Pocket Books edition of The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, or am I being overly presumptuous? I'm sure you're not the first one to comment about my briefcase- carrying fetish, but the sexual references thereto indicate your puerile lack of creativity. I guess if you ever have the courage to show your face in open court, you'll opt to carry a ten-pound knapsack complete with enough trail mix and mineral water to weather your stay at Chez Alca- traz after the judge holds you in contempt for your uncontrollable proclivities toward outlandish behavior. Well, at least you can rest assured that there will be plenty of rather large men there who'll appreciate a young boy of your artistic talents, or aren't you used to being the Belle of the Ball? What's even more self-effacing is the fact that, in order to subject me to ridicule, you have to stretch so far as to assert that since I've had three roommates over the past three years, I must not be able to maintain friendships. For some reason, the term "non sequi- tur" comes to mind. For your edification, since your own life is so drab that you must concern yourself with mine, my first roommate decided to share living expenses with his brother, while my second roommate wanted to cut back on expenses since the opening of the Blue Route made ®1992, Mead Dana Central, Inc. AM Rights Reserved Page 4 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992 COMMENTARY Spike Lee Was Riglit He may have been a little snotty camel's back, south central Los at Cannes. But every director of Angeles erupted. Dissatisfaction 1-900-BOB-TALK his caliber is snotty, especially at of the verdict was just the scratch For some unknown and highly wife, not to mention Tammy raised the sales tax in Arkansas, Cannes, and especially when that released the blood. Given a irrational reason, there seems to Wynette, and now her supporters the beer tax, imposed a mobile slighted by the industry. different time, the King verdict, home tax, enacted a tax on tour­ although it would still be unpop­ be an incessant brouhaha over want us to pretend that she's Four years ago Lee saw the ism ... the only thing he didn't ular, would not have had such a what has been popularly termed really an apron-wearing, child- signs. He felt the economic, racial, "Hillary-bashing." One left-wing, tax was toilet paper! I guess he dramatic effect. The country had rearing, lovable nanny whose political, and social unrest. He liberal, pinko-commie, nostalgic personality is above reproach. Not got scared when his colleague been a champagne bottle waiting knew this smoldering volcano of for the days of Kruschev, heir to with the double-digit I.Q., Jim to be uncorked. The Rodney King only does her husband want the a country would have to explode Lenin had the gumption to bellow, Florio, tried it and inspired a verdict was only the cork-screw. world to believe that he's a con­ to release the pent up feelings of barrage of "Impeach Florio" and People have been so dissatisfied "Hitting on Hillary is a Hate servative, but she wants everyone suppression. He placed the explo­ "Florio-Free in '93" bumper with our current administration Crime." If what he meant by to call her "Barbara!" That whole sion on a hot summer day in New "hitting on" was what has become lovable mom shtick is impossible stickers. He also wants to increase that a small provocation could York, with the triggering event common parlance for the '60s spending with regard to education lead to gun-shots. The riots of Los for Hillary to achieve. After all, being a local racial incident. vernacular "making a pass," then and protecting the environment. Angeles were gun-shots on a she's a lawyer! Taken out of context the racial I must ask whether Hillary- The bottom line, as David Horo­ Sounds good to me, but when you grand scale. The riots quickly incident would not have much bashing is a -hate crime, but witz pointed out in his article, realize that the American worker spread north to San Francisco, self bearing on the outcome of any­ I digress. "The Democrats are a legitimate doesn't exactly have a plethora of and east to Philadelphia, New thing. However, in Do the Right Let's take a walk down the target," is that if Hillary wants disposable income ready to be York, and Boston. Thing, it was the catalyst that aisles of the Ernesto Turchi to be taken seriously, assuming taxed, one must ask where the The riots and violence of Los sent part of the city into tumult. Memorial Museum of Presidential for the sake of argument that this money's going to come from. If Bill Angeles are a cry for help from Politics, located in lovely down­ is possible, she's going to have to Clinton is as slick and cool as he Lee foreshadowed what was to many people in this country. town Packer Park, Philadelphia, put up with public scrutiny and thinks, he's obviously never taken occur in Los Angeles this past Hopefully, people will try to do just a spit away from Veteran's criticism. Furthermore, as Horo­ the Temptations' song "Ball of spring. In his movie, he had race something that will change the Stadium. Ah yes, I remember it witz points out, "... hitting on Confusion" to heart. MORE be the spark that lit the fire. In current situation. Vote for a new as if it were yesterday. As my Hillary is fun." After all, we TAXES WON'T SOLVE EVERY­ Los Angeles, an unjust decision administration! grandfather, John, put me on his Republicans have to have some THING! He further offends the was seen as racial, and may well After all, if Nancy Reagan were knee in order to inform me of the f un, considering every second-rate American people by masquerading have been. However, even Lee still in the White House, with her "in's and out's" of the family method actress on CBS gets her as a conservative by calling for underestimated the explosion. Lee reliance on fortune tellers and business, I remember his amuse­ rocks off by twisting Dan Quayle's welfare reform that would seek to included the death of one charac­ astrology, maybe someone besides ment at the fact that Rosalyn words in order to boost her show's educate the worker with special ter due to the community Spike Lee would have known the Carter's having bought a dress at sagging Nielsen ratings! What trade skills so that those on uprising. riots were coming, and done K-Mart was splashed all over the goes around comes around. Logic, welfare might become taxpayers, With the Rodney King verdict something to prevent them. front pages of every respectable you might moan, requires that we not tax-takers. The Republican being the straw that broke the Basil S. Donnelly newspaper in creation. It was also bash A1 Gore. Believe me, we have been calling for WORKFARE on the front page of the New York would if Hillary weren't busy for years, but the democratically- Times. masquerading as a "shadow vice- controlled Congress doesn't want As I got older, my grandfather president" (another Horowitti- to help the permanent underclass Letter from would get tired of repeating how cism) and if little A1 could com­ it created because we all know he though Jack and Bobby were ment on anything before his wife, that once people start making real just two boobs who thought that oh so thoughtfully, screens his money, suddenly they don't see Mrs. Betty having a bootlegger for a father questions, gathers his thoughts the need to give it to "do- meant that they had been granted and answers for him! But enough nothings," so they switch to the a divine right to rule the universe. about Hillary. You know what Republican Party. In other words, iVIurphy He then enlightened me by voicing they say about too much of a good welfare reform would deplete the his disdain at the liberal media as thing. Let's talk about the bald- Democratic party's power base, they bashed then First Lady, faced lies Clinton has been telling which took over 130 years to Nancy Reagan, for her practice of in order to hoodwink the American cultivate. On August 31, 1992, I retired important and necessary to the wearing extremely stylish people into voting for him. Face it, George Bush was a after 17 years at Villanova Law creation of a superior institution. designer dresses. Those weenie- First of all, Clinton claims he decorated hero during World War School. These were happy years I would like to take this opportun­ liberals never even realized the never inhaled. Any guy who fled II, head of the CIA, U.S. Ambas­ but I thought it was tiine to "Ease ity to thank all of you for all of irony in such drivel. Hey, if I were to Oxford rather than face a sador to the United Nations, on Down the Road" to spend more the help and cooperation you have about seventy years old, ... oh possible tour of duty in 'Nam Ronald Reagan's Vice-President time with my family and friends. given me during these years. Good well, I'd better not get in to that! probably owned his own meth and the incumbent President of It is a great big world out there luck to you and my wishes for The moral is that every First factory. After all, you probably the United States. He's clearly with lots of things to do and places your continued success in every­ Lady, with the notable exceptions have to smoke at least a few joints more qualified, competent and to go. In my various positions at thing you do. of Martha Washington and Mary to attain that "head in the clouds, honest than Bill Clinton. O.K., Villanova, I was fortunate to deal Thanks for everything! Todd Lincoln, have been the too cool for practical purposes, not George may have exaggerated his with the faculty, staff, students Mrs. Murphy targets of cheap shots for decades. to mention bell-bottoms attitude" involvement with the whole Iran- and the alumni. Each group is However, with Hillary, there's a at "Aaaksfird." Let's face it, if Contra Affair, but so what? If the difference. Clinton had just admitted that he U.S. were willing to negotiate for Hillary threw herself into the was terrified of losing his life the release of one of your relatives, Clinton Campaign as if her name while wading knee-deep in the rice you'd auction off Rhode Island — were going to appear on the ticket. paddies of Saigon, we'd have more or at least Camden, New Jersey. Rather than mesh into the back­ respect for him. When the Demo­ Signed, ground with the lovely bed- crats call the draft-dodge thing a Mr. Turch wetting and marijuana-smoking "non-issue trumped-up by Repub­ (My friends call me Bob. . .) Tipper Gore, Hillary chose to take licans," they insult every veteran P.S. I've received numerous calls a stand on the issues, take cheap who ever fought for his country. on my 1-900 line asking if I was shots at her ... er, I mean, her I won't even mention the fact that going to take those cheap shots husband's ... opponent and his my cousin, whose name graces the from the Conservative Guy and Vietnam Veterans' Memorial, Liberal Gal. Don't worry, as the could have been Bill Clinton. producers of The Godfather Furthermore, his thank-you sought the imprimatur of the Five letter to his ROTC office belies his Families, Tom and Angie begged THE VILLANOVA assertion that he never knew that for my permission before they his uncle was pulling strings to published their contrived, not to keep him out of the war. I guess mention cliched, advice columns. Jay Leno was right. Bill Clinton's (I must give Tom Dougherty DOCKET uncle accomplishes more before 8 credit for the title of my column a.m. than the rest of us do all day! — only as a favor to his little BOARD OF EDITORS Bill also lied about the Gennifer brother; he's a good kid.) Flowers affair. If being a philand­ EdItor-ln-Chlef erer shouldn't be a factor in Angeline G. Chen choosing a president, then why Drug Associate Editors did the Clinton campaign scram­ Scott Donnini ble in an attempt to malign the and Alcohol President by alleging that he had Business Editor Mark Helwig Layout Editor an affair with a former aide who Kenneth Llebman Sports Editor Laurence Esmonde Awareness John Lago is now deceased? I guess if you're used to being a good-looking, For anyone who has questions Photography scum-sucking, skirt-chasing, or a problem concerning alcohol Kevonne Sm^l paraphysiological degenerate, you or drugs, this is to inform you that Chris Tkacik have to ensure that anyone who there is an office in Stanford Contributing Writers: Basil S. Donnelly, Tom Dougherty, James King, Mary Locke, Joe Marques, could foil your plans or delusions building on South Campus on the Professor John Murphy, Professor Craig W. Palm, Sal Pastino, Wendy Sengstack, and Rob Turchi. of grandeur is dead lest she come ground floor to assist you. The forward, tell the truth and expose telephone number is 645-7407. The Villanova Docket Is published monthly by the students of Villanova University School of Law, Clinton as the pathological liar he Ask for Janice Janosik. Anyone Villanova, PA 19085. Letters and articles are welcome from students, faculty, alumni and the community. truly is! Do the names Marilyn wanting to find out about other Paid advertisements are also accepted. The Villanova Docket is distributed free to all current students, Monroe and Mary Jo Kopechne meetings or information can con­ faculty and administrators. Alumni who wisii to receive The Villanova Docket by mail should notify The ring a bell? Is that genealogist sure tact C.J. personally or by phone Villanova Docket office at the above address. The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the Clinton's not related to the at 649-9223. Leave a message if writers and do not necessarily reflect those of the Docket editors and staff or the Villanova University Kennedys? That's all regarding not there. School of Law. Clinton's lack of style, let's talk There is an alcohol meeting in substance. Stanford every Thursday night at Faculty Advisor Clinton claims that he's not the 8:30 p.m. All are welcome to these Prof. John Cannon "tax and spend liberal" the Repub­ open meetings. licans say he is. Let's see, he CJ. October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 5 COMMENTARY The Bottom Line by Professor Craig W. Palm hurt in what he said. It was writing, "Life is difficult." As a than others. Part of the process Villanova [This article is being reprinted from impossible to tell if it was hurt general rule, I do not memorize is to figure out what is important. the March 1990 issue of The because of untruths, or hurt quotations from legal sources or It seems to me that beauty and Villanova Docket] because of the truth of making a literature. One quotation that has love are perhaps the most impor­ Offers This month's topic is the mean­ mistake. somehow stuck with me through tant things that we as humans ing of Hfe. Perhaps, more accu­ A week or so ago a student much of my adult life is from can give to and share with each rately, one of the meanings of Hfe. whom I like and respect came into Thomas Hardy in The Mayor of other. The smile of a child, a Counseling The impetus for this article was Casterbridge'where, he said; "Ever­ Beethoven symphony, a Rem­ my office to talk about an exam. The Villanova University Coun­ a number of recent events. First, ything is possible at the hands of brandt, a beautiful woman or a We talked for a little bit and it seling Center provides students, Hank Gathers' untimely death. time and chance, except perhaps handsome man, two squirrels was very clear that he was down faculty, and staff with many Second, Andy Rooney's suspen­ playing with each other on a lawn, on law school. He told me that fair play." Assuming for the sake personal growth opportunities. sion (and subsequent reinstate­ argument that both of these the Grand Canyon, all possess everything seemed to him to be of The Counseling Center is located ment) for allegedly making racist writers are right at least in part, characteristics that I think make arbitrary — the grading system, in Corr Hall, and is open Monday and homophobic remarks. Third, life truly worth living. To know the moot court competition what should we do? Pack it in? through Friday from 9:00 a.m. a person down on law school Blame life's problems on fate, and understand is another quest results, the selection process for until 5:00 p.m. because he thought everything law review, etc. I told him that others or God? Accept that life is we all have. here was arbitrary. difficult and try to do the best we The University Counseling Cen­ things may not be done perfectly. Moot court competitions are ter helps with personal and aca­ Hank Gathers was a big (67", I said perhaps there might be a can? 210 lbs.) true athlete. He was fun, challenging, and seem impor­ demic concerns. You may discuss better way to grade people, to Many of the problems and muscular. He was strong. He was tant when you are participating with us all kinds of personal make choices for law review, to difficult choices that we face day quick. He was one of the nation's in them at the time. Grades are concerns including, but not limit­ judge moot court competitions, to day are caused directly or leading scorers in college basket­ important when you are looking ed to: depression, roommate con­ but just because there is a better indirectly, by our own doing. ball. His coach had called him a for a job. In the great scheme of flicts, lack of motivation, family way, doesn't make the way we do Some problems are imposed upon "walking thunderbolt." Two things, however, their importance problems, bulimia and anorexia, it arbitrary. To the extend that us by the seemingly fickle fingers hours before he died, he had told pales when compared to the love low self-confidence, romantic arbitrary means unfairness, whim of fate. These latter problems, it a teammate he had never felt and caring of a friend or a relative. relationships and plans for the or caprice, I firmly believe that seems to me, everyone could agree stronger. The death of Gathers, The truly special people in my life future. Students consult with us those systems are not arbitrary. are arbitrary, that is, outside of who grew up in Philadelphia, has have helped me be a better person. over academic concerns such as: All of those systems occasionally our control. Stuff happens. spawned a number of duly They let me be me and accept me improving study habits, note- produce results that I personally I have a lot of compassion deserved tributes. In Tuesday's for who I am. That really is very taking, time management, test do not agree with, but many of nowadays for people who feel Inquirer, Bill Lyon, in a commen­ difficult to do because we always anxiety and paper-writing. those determinations have to be battered by forces beyond their tary, wrote: "[The death of a have a tendency to try to mold made in a subjective realm where control. I sometimes feel battered The University Counseling Cen­ young athlete in their prime] people in a certain image we have reasonable people can differ. To forces beyond my control. I ter provides many services. Your always leaves us empty and help­ by of them, ourselves or the "perfect be fair and honest, however, I also hate that feeling. I also sometimes contact with the Center is con­ less. It is always a grim reminder person." admitted that much in life was feel battered by decisions that I fidential and is not part of your of our own vulnerability, the The meaning of life is to try to arbitrary; that is, unfair and have made and things that I have University record. jolting realization that we are do your best and be yourself. I say uncontrollable. Hank Gathers' done that turn out, in retrospect, promised nothing, guaranteed "try" to do your best because I L Individual counseling. death was unfair. Andy Rooney's to be wrong, ill-advised, or to have even less." think that no matter how much These are weekly sessions suspension may well have been accidentally hurt others. Fortu­ Without delving into a debate you try, you will not always be where you and a counselor unfair. If we just look at the nately, after a while, sometimes about whether or not Rooney your best. Your best doesn't discuss your specific concerns knowledge and learning of a an excruciatingly long while, made homophobic or racist necessarily mean the same thing and ways to deal with them. student and not the results of one equilibrium sets in and I feel in remarks, the fact is that he was at all times. Your "best" during Counseling occurs in a caring, examination, the final grade of a control again. an extremely difficult time would relaxed, and confidential suspended and returned to the air student may be "unfair," at least It seems to me that the meaning be unacceptable given different environment. saying, "It's demeaning to have with respect to what that student of life, at least one of the meanings circumstances. 2. Study Skills Counseling. to sit here and defend myself." knows about the subject matter Depending on your point of view, of life, is to realize that you are Although I know you are all The study skills counselor (as opposed to what they indicated' busy people, take some time out ' suggests strategies to help he either did exactly that during they knew in the examination). No human, that you will make mis­ takes, and that there are conse­ to think about yourself. Look at you become a more efficient his return to the show on March one ever promised Gathers, Roo­ quences to decisions. The meaning and enjoy the beauty of the world. and effective student. 4, or didn't do that. Analysts and ney, you or me that life would of life is to try to know and Get to know yourself and try to 3. Group Counseling. An addi­ people who saw the show inter­ always be perfectly fair. estingly disagree; I saw the show understand yourself, try to be be you. Although it may be a long, tional option available and I thought that he felt that he What do all of these things have yourself, and try to improve hard, and sometimes discouraging through the Center is group had been wronged by the actions to do with the meaning of life? In yourself. These are very difficult journey, it seems to me that the counseling. Members benefit and reactions of others. There the book. The Road Less Traveled, things to do, and some of us are search is what the meaning of life from the experience, support seemed to be sincerity and true Dr. Peck begins the book by better at achieving these goals is really all about. and feed-back from others who have similar concerns. 4. Workshops. We offer oppor­ tunities to explore topics of current interest to students, faculty and staff. Topics include procrastination, study-skills, intimate rela- • tionships, time-management, Villanova University School of Law eating concerns, and test anxiety. 5. Crisis Intervention. Our professional staff is available to help you or a friend during a psychological emergency. 6. Consultation. Faculty, staff, Calendar of Events or student groups may request our assistance in skill-training, problem- solving, or staff development. 7. Referral. If we can't provide a service, we offer referral Fall 1992 assistance to appropriate resources.

- Frequently Asked Questions: November Will my contact at the Coun­ seling Center be confidential? 7 Sat. 12:00 N Law Review Symposium followed by reception in Cafeteria Absolutely! Nothing about your • Commons visit appears on your transcript 10 Tues. 3:00 PM Faculty Meeting - Board Room or your University record. In fact, information about your visits to 16-17 M-T Third Round of Reimel Competition ,, - , us will not be given without your 25 Wed. Thanksgiving recess begins after last class written consent. 30 . Thurs. Classes resume . r' j,. How long do I have to wait for an appointment? There is generally a wait of about a week for psychological counseling. If you or a friend have an emergency, we will accommo­ December date you as soon as possible. 7 Mon. Examinations begin Who is eligible and how much does it cost? 8 Tues. 3:00 PM Faculty Meeting - Board Room The resources of the Counseling 21 Mon. Examination period ends after last examination Center are open to all currently 22 Tues. 12:00 N Faculty and Staff Christmas Luncheon - Cafeteria Commons enrolled Villanova students. Faculty and staff are also eligible for counseling and consultative services. Our services are free of charge to all eligible members of campus. PHONE: 645-4050 Page 6 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992 COMMENTARY Dear Conservative Guy by Tom Dougherty ford has served for less than two for Clinton to figure out that Dear Readers, years. With two almost-new Sena­ the North American Free This month's column will be tors, Pennsylvania will have the Trade Agreement is a good considerably longer than my pre­ weakest delegation in the Senate. thing. However, he said it vious efforts. However, I want to This is hardly an enviable position must be "implemented prop­ assure you that John Lago's pages for a state to occupy. erly." Translation: What the will not be cut in any way. As Prediction; Specter 57%, Yea­ unions and environmental usual, I will answer a few ques­ kel 43% extremists will let him do. tions that I made up myself. Then, Bush V. Clinton v. Perot 34. The ghost of Clinton's dead I will present my election picks As of this writing, Ross Perot father might have been and 50 Reasons to Not Elect is once again a candidate for the involved in the plot to kill Clinton. Presidency. Although this could JFK. Dear Conservative Guy, change before The Villanova 33. Clinton's national health care What was your reaction to Docket comes out, I will operate plan would be a disaster. If Liberal Gal? on the assumption that The Quit­ you really think national Although Liberal Gal (Angie ter will stay in the race. Perot's health care is such a great Chen) seems unable to write candidacy will draw more votes idea, maybe you should speak anything but the same tired from Bill Clinton than President to all of the Canadians who rhetoric about how Ronald Reagan Bush because the anti-Bush vote come here for medical treat­ and his evil henchmen Bush and now has two places to call home. ment. Better yet, ask Paul Quayle destroyed America,-I Prediction: Bush 50%, Clinton Tsongas why he said that if enjoyed it. Of course, as a cham­ 42%, Perot 8% his,cancer had been treated pion of free speech I believe a Electoral Votes: Bush 338, in Canada's system he would newspaper should print opposing Clinton 200, Perot 0 have died. /Ml viewpoints. I even support Bob 50 Reasons to Not Elect 32. In 1969, Bill Clinton went to "Stop making Mafia Jokes or Clinton the Soviet Union and nothing Court Justice Mario Cuomo. •National Guard. You'll Wake Up Dead" TurcHi's 50. If elected, Clinton will prob­ happened. In 1989, I went to Keep saying this until you 2. Clinton had the chance to get right to enthrall us with his ably speak. Who wants to the Soviet Union. Two years run out of the room out of Arkansas and stayed. fascinating tale of how he screwed listen to his voice for the next later. Communism was dead screaming. What's wrong with him? the U.S. Postmaster General by four years? and the Soviet empire was 18. Clinton has said he will 1. If Clinton is elected, I will be using the same stamp twice. 49. Clinton abandoned his coun­ gone. Coincidence? I think appoint judges who support really depressed. I might fail However, Angie Chen is the Editor try during the Vietnam War. not. Roe. V. Wade. Sounds like a all my classes and be forced of the Docket so I must be careful. The irony of a draft dodger 3L Remember how great it was litmus test to me. However, to stay in law school. In that For example, she would never let being Commander-in-Chief when Democrat President litmus tests are only bad case, I will write this column me expose her secret, namely that would be highly amusing if Jimmy Carter and a Demo­ when Republicans use them. for another year. Nobody she and Bill Clinton ... (edited for it wasn't so scary. Democrats cratic Congress got together? 17. If Clinton is elected, I can't wants that. lack of space). counter this argument by Don't let it happen again. promise I will not go into a Serious Thoughts Dear Conservative Guy, saying that Ronald Reagan 30. President Bush is responsible McDonald's and spray the This election year is critical to Where have I seen the never served in combat, eith­ for large reductions in nuclear crowd with the machine gun the future of America. The Demo­ ph rase "And so it goes" er. Since the Democrats think weapons. Bill Clinton is not. I bought from Bob Turchi's crats speak of the need for change before? Reagan was a horrible Pres­ 29. If Clinton wins, I have to buy more colorful relatives. and they are Correct; It is time for That phrase is often used by ident^ I guess this means that Kelly Ayotte lunch. 16. Real world leaders do not go Congress to stop spending more TV/Radio/Newspaper/Soapbox we shouldn't repeat the error. 28. If Clinton loses, Kelly Ayotte on the Arsenio Hall Show. If money than it has. It is time for journalist Linda Ellerbee. Angie 48. If you vote for Clinton, my has to buy me lunch. Clinton were serious about Americans to stop demanding claims that she used the phrase nervous breakdown will be on 27. Clinton has such respect for leading America, he would that all of their hopes and desires first, r have turned this matter • your head. women that he would keep have gone on the Tonight become constitutionally protected over to the Honor Board for , 47. Clinton's only foreign policy abortion legal and appoint Show with Johnny Carson. rights and entitlements. It is time investigation. Peter Harter is experience is not inhaling pot more women to government 15. President Bush is responsible to realize that government does personally oiling 'the thumb in England and protesting the positions. Of course, he for the Allied victory over not have all the answers. screws for Ms. Chan's appearance' Vietnam War in Moscow'., ' ' ^doesn't respect womjen Iraq. Bill Clinton is not. - Pr^itfen^tj Bush's dtMestic before the ^?oard. Apparently, 1969 was a fun "^enough to be faithful to his 14. President Bush helped win' record has not been perfect. How­ Dear Conservative Guy, year for Clinton. wife but let's not get trivial. the Cold War. Bill Clinton did ever, he has been busy with a few Why do you support an 46. Clinton has proposed taking 26. President Bush is endorsed not. small things like the reunification Administration and a party more money from the rich to by Conservative Guy. Bill 13. If Bill Clinton is elected, we of Germany, the collapse of the that care only about the inter- give to the poor. Robin Hood Clinton is not. will be forced to watch Chel­ Soviet empire, freedom in Eastern ests of the rich and the tried this. So did Karl Marx. 25. Clinton chose Captain Planet sea grow up. Imagine the Europe, war with Iraq, dissolution powerful? 45. Clinton's "Play or Pay" as his running mate. Senator headlines: Chelsea's First of Yugoslavia, and the creation of If the Republican party is only health care proposal would be Gore is an environmental Date; Chelsea's First Slumber the North American Free Trade concerned with the interests of yet another tax on business. extremist who advocates Party; Chelsea's First Agreement. The world has the rich and powerful, theri we In particular, small busi­ wrenching changes in our Cabinet Meeting. changed more in the last four should all rejoice. After all, the nesses would be forced to fire civilization to avoid environ­ 12. Did I mention Supreme Court years than in the past fifty. For fact that Republicans keep getting workers or raise prices. mental disasters like global Justice Mario Cuomo? the first time since the end of elected President means that most 44. Clinton has absolutely no warming. The fact that most 11. Clinton values Spotted Owls World War II, America has the Americans are rich and powerful! experience in working in the scientists don't believe global more than unborn children. luxury of being able to devote Pop the corks! private sector. Apparently, warming is occurring does 10. Increasing taxes on the rich more attention to domestic needs. Dear Conservative Guy, nobody ever told him busi­ not prevent him from sound­ is not "fair." Increasing taxes The Cold War was real. Our Why don't you just get on nesses exist solely to make ing the alarm. on anybody is not fair. The victory was real. I believe • Pres­ with the election stuff? money, not to implement 24. If Clinton is really a moderate, rich help America by running ident Bush can lead the nation to I will. government regulations or he would not have chosen businesses and creating jobs. reap the benefits of our monumen­ Election Picks pay taxes. Senator Gore as his running America does not benefit by tal victory. Whether or not you Specter v. Yeakel 43. Arkansas is a terrible place. mate. In 1990, Gore received punishing successful people. agree, vote. Did Senator Specter's treat­ 42. If Clinton is doing such a a 78% favorable rating from 9. It is impossible to seriously ment of Anita Hill make you as great job in Arkansas, let him the left/liberal group Ameri­ consider placing Clinton in angry as Lynn Yeakel? No. It stay there. Sending him to cans for Democratic Action. the same list as Washington, should be noted that 2/3 of Amer­ Washington would only hurt Translation: Liberals think Jefferson, Adams, Lincoln, ican WOMEN did not believe his state. You cold-hearted A1 is pretty liberal himself. Teddy Roosevelt and Reagan. Anita Hill, either. I thought Spec­ wretch. 23. Clinton is a liar. His campaign 8. Clinton opposes school choice V ter did his job well. In fact, his 41. Raising taxes on the wealthy advertising says George Bush if it includes private or reli­ performance during the Clarence does not mean you have more has presided over the worst gious schools, even though Thomas Confirmation hearings is money. Let's try some simple economic period in 50 years. these schools are often the the only reason I support him. His math: A has $10. B has $1. Hmmm, let's see. We've had only hope for inner-city savage attacks on Robert Bork in C takes $5 from A. How much five quarters of economic children. 1987 infuriated me. money does B have? B still growth (weak though it may E 7. Clinton wants a national Lynn Yeakel will lose this has $1. B also lost his job be). Inflation is extremely economic plan and greater election. "Arlen Specter has done when A had to cut back on low. Interest rates are around involvement of the govern­ a good job of protecting and her work force. 8% (Interest rates were ment in business. The fact promoting the interests of Pen­ 40. America does not need a around 20% with our last that the rest of the world is nsylvania in Congress. He has a President with the nickname Democratic Presideat). trying to overthrow this type R proven record on the issues of "Elvis." Unemployment is 7.5%). How­ of system doesn't bother him. health care and job growth. He has 39. America does not need a ever, employment is 92.5%. 6. Clinton has proposed drastic supported women's issues like President with the nickname Doesn't sound like the Great cuts in the military. I suppose breast cancer research and legal "Slick Willie." Depression to me. the money that the Army abortion (I part company with him 38. If George Bush is the cham­ 22. Bill Clinton's hair never saved by not having to pay on that issue). Lynn Yeakel can pion of the rich and powerful, moves. It's eerie. him just wasn't enough to S not credibly portray her opponent Clinton must be the candidate 21. Under Clinton, the current balance the budget. as a Neanderthal, woman-hating of the poor and weak. What economic recovery will get 5. President Bush is responsible bastard. a bummer. strangled by high taxes and for serious peace talks It must also be noted that Lynn 37. Electing Clinton will not government regulations. between Israel and the Arab Yeakel has no government expe­ make the Dallas Cowboys 20. Clinton believes in govern­ •world. Bill Clinton is not. rience. While this is not necessar­ win the Super Bowl (that ment job training programs. 4. Bill Clinton wants to increase U ily a bad thing, if she is elected reason should appeal to John So did Dan Quayle (Co- government spending. This is Pennsylvania will have almost no Lago). sponsor of the Job Training what caused our problems in influence in the Senate. Much of 36. Clinton is a cruel man. He has Partnership Act). Since the the first place. the power in the Senate is based forced his daughter to go Democrats think Dan Quayle 3. The world is a dangerous on seniority and relationships through life with the name is brain-dead, Clinton must place. America needs expe­ Chelsea. be equally stupid. S with other Senators. Pennsylva­ rienced leadership, not the nia's other Senator, Harris Wof- 35. It only took several months 19. Repeat after me: Supreme. head of the Arkansas October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 7 Dear Liberal Gal by Angie Chen gameplan regarding the issues 30. George keeps Barbara in the Dear Readers, (ac#ording to a neutral judging kitchen. We live in very strange times. committee who graded the 29. George believes in an Amer­ Party times are blurring. Presi­ Specter-Yeakel debate), that she is ican educational system that dent candidates are becoming more outstanding and upright a allowed him to choose a Vice- more and more lackluster in their citizen than Arlen Specter (paying President who knows how to quality, and John Lago actually several years' worth of city wage play golf, but can't spell the took less than a full page in the taxes due right before she jumped word "potato." last issue of The Villanova Docket. into the campaign? And this is 28. George bombs other coun­ These are times of change. supposed to convince us of her tries, ignores his own, and Change can take two shapes: honesty and integrity?), or that still considers himself a progress or regression. Depending she will be a benefit to Pennsyl­ success. on your perspective, George Bush vania in replacing Arlen Specter. 27. He's no Jack Kennedy. and Bill Clinton will represent a One of her TV commercials speaks 26. What is this "vision thing" choice between those two possi­ nothing of the issues, but merely anyway? bilities. (I choose to ignore Mon­ quotes numerous people com­ 25. That Iran-contra thing he's sieur Perot as a truly viable menting on how obnoxious a so touchy about. candidate, if only because it is person Arlen Specter is. Uh, 24. The right-wing is bereft of its doubtful the American populace excuse me? Isn't the point sup­ only true raison d'etre; would ever vote in a President posed to be who can do a better communism. who could sub as the twin brother job? Arlen Specter is a senior 23. George slamdunks on gays, of Frank Perdue.) Whomever you Senator, which translates into single mothers, poor black vote for, at least be as knowledge­ him having more pull in the people, and subsidized able as you can regarding what Senate and a better understanding artists. each candidate represents and of how the system works. Addi­ 22. Pat Buchanan is on his side. believes in. tionally, his track record shows 21. George can't play the saxo­ Dear Liberal Gal, a man who works hard, who takes phone, nor has he ever been How can you still be critical his job seriously, and who sup­ on the Arsenio Hall Show. of President Bush's treatment ports pretty much the same issues 20. Bill Clinton is endorsed by of the issues when he's Lynn Yeakel is putting forth, Liberal Gal. George Bush is deserves to have lunch bought 4. George is not endorsed by appeared on such shows as namely women's rights and abor­ not. for her. Besides, Tom's a Magic Johnson. Johnson quit Good Morning America and tion, as well as Alzheimer's dis­ 19. As long as George Bush is in Republican. That means he his position on the National agreed to debate with Bill ease research and other issues. office, the only job that has has lots ofmoney and can Commission on AIDS, writ­ Clinton? In the preceding months, I've real security is running the afford to take Kelly to lunch. ing to the President: "I cannot The only reason El Presidente changed my mind about Lynn unemployment claims office. Better be someplace nice, too. in good conscience continue showed up on Good Morning Yeakel. The better person for the 18. Clinton wasn't afraid to 6. Clinton respects his wife to serve on a commission America is because, per Bush's position of Pennsylvania State choose a Vice-President who, enough to realize she has as whose important work is so demand, they agreed to ask him Senator, independent of party, is in the offchance tht some­ much right to realize her utterly ignored by your only about crime, health care and Arlen Specter. thing happens to Clinton, professional and individual administration." taxes. Apparently, President Bush Prediction: Specter 64%, Yea­ would actually be able to lead potential as he does, and he's 3. Los Angeles. has refused to appear on any show kel 36% this country and know what man enough not to feel threa­ 2. George picked Dan Quayle as where questions regarding his Bush V. Clinton v. That Other he was doing. tened by it (unlike a certain Vice-President, and held onto involvement in the Iran-contra Guy With the Ears 17. George is more interested in presidential-type guy who him after Quayle got involved issue might come up (you do Perot will be a non-entity as far what's going on in other definitely keeps his wife and into a debate with a fictional remember that minor incident, as the presidential race goes. No people's backyards, and has her opinions in the television character. don't you?) You don't suppose this one in their right mind could vote no concept of what's going on background). 1. If Bush is elected, Tom is anything close to what is known for a guy who could potentially in his own. (Especiallyin the 5. George says he is another Dougherty will be unbearable as "hedging," is it? You don't just up and quit when he's not supermarkets.) "Harry Truman." Harry Tru­ to be around. You will have suppose Bush is trying to dodge "into" it anymore, or whose 15. Over the past twelve years, man was a Democrat. So to put up with an incredible what just might be something opinion of the office of President the investment share of the what George must believe is amount of smugness which that could be of somewhat sign- of the United States is so low that American economy has fallen that a Democrat should be will emanate from his column ficant interest to the American he plays it like a game of poker. by approximately one half. President. Clinton is a real and ooze out from between populace, do you? And those ears! But I digress. 14. George has proposed a 1% Democrat, ergo Clinton your fingers. This could be As for the debates, well it took 50. Barbara Bush looks more across-the-board tax-cut that should be President. very messy and unpleasant. damn long enough. By the time Presidential than George. will cost $125 billion. He has this issue is out, they will have 49. George has been spending conveniently forgotten to taken place. Hope you watched more time in the doghouse include how he intends on them. Hope Ross Perot actually than Millie lately. paying forit. (Maybe Ross answered a question for once. 48. George thinks AIDS are peo­ Perot willpick up the tab.) Dear Liberal Gal, ple who help in the White 13. America's economic status is Was Tom Dougherty's arti­ House. the worst it's been for fifty cle really edited for lack of 47. Justices Souter and Thomas. years, in terms of actual space? 46. Choosing Dan Quayle in the growth, job creation, and Of course not. As Editor, I first place. decline in income. would never infringe on Mr. 45. Not dumping Dan Quayle in 12. George vetoed the Family Dougherty's First Amendment the second place. Leave Bill. A Story With a l\/loral rights to express his opinions, 44. Neil Bush. 11. George favors a voucher sys­ however wrong they may be. 43. Using Marines in the Persian tem so that parents can Dear Sir: I met the barrel coming down. Moving him to the back page, Gulf in lieu of a testosterone "choose" which school they I am writing in response to your This explains the fractured skull however ... now there's an idea. injection. wish to send their children to. request for additional informa­ and broken collarbone. Dear Liberal Gal, 42. And Saddam's still there ... This is part of George's "edu­ tion. In block number 3 of the Slowed only slightly, I con­ Do you agree with anything 41. George thinks middle-class, cation" plan. Unfortunately, accident reporting form, I put tinued my rapid ascent, not stop­ that Conservative Guy Tom two-income families have lots since George has no concept quote — poor planning — unquote ping until the fingers of my right Dougherty believes? of extra money to spare to of what the average American as the cause of my accident. You hand were two knuckles deep into Read on and find out. give to the government, much family income is, he fails to said in your letter that I should the pulley. Fortunately by this ELECTION PICKS more so than people who realize that a "voucher" of explain more fully, and I trust time I had regained my presence Specter v. Yeakel make over $200,000 a year. the magnitude he is consid­ that the following details will be of mind and was able to hold I must admit, when Lynn Yea­ 40. George refuses to give up his ering will possibly pay (just sufficient. tightly to the rope in spite of my kel first hit the scene (directly recreating, while Baghdad maybe) for enough bus fare for I am a bricklayer by trade. On pain. after the Anita Hill/Clarence and Los Angeles burn. a city kid to go to a suburban the day of the accident, I was At approximately the same Thomas hearings) she looked like 39. Our economy sucks, but private school and stand out­ working alone on the roof of the time, however, the barrel of bricks a strong candidate. Notwithstand­ George has yet to either side looking in the windows. new six story building. When I hit the ground — and the bottom ing any other aspect of Senator realize this or acknowledge The plan will have horrend­ completed my work, I discovered fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the Specter's personality, his behavior this, since the economy sucks ous consequences for the that I had about 500 pounds of weight of the bricks, the barrel at the hearings more than irked for everyone except George. public school system. Tax­ brick left over. Rather than carry now weighed approximately fifty a good number of people. Obnox- (And Ross Perot.) payer money should not help the bricks down by hand, I decided pounds. iousness does not sit over well, 38. Ronald Reagan. (For choosing finance private education. to lower them in a barrel by using I refer you again to my weight particular when it is tinged with Bush in the first place). 10. George is the''Environmental a pulley which fortunately was in block number eleven. As you potential sexist and racist over­ 37. The Phillies suck. (Someone President" — NOT. atttached to the side of the build­ might imagine, I began a rapid tones (valid or invalid though they has got to take the blame.) Remember, in 1988, then ing at the sixth floor. descent down the side of the may be). Nor did people appreciate 36. Because he's not Jack Kemp. Vice-President Bush vowed Securing the rope at ground building. it when the impression was given (Or Jeff Kemp for that that he would combat the level, I went up to the roof, swung In the vicinity of the third floor, afterwards that the only reason matter.) greenhouse effect. Apparent­ the barrel out, and loaded the I met the barrel coming up. This Specter played the pitbull was 35. Because he doesn't have Newt ly, George has forgotten his brick into it. Then I went back accounts for the two fractured because his party asked it of him. Gingrich's hair. promise. In addition, his Inte­ to the ground and untied the rope, ankles and the lacerations of my Riding high on the theme of 34. George never smoked mari­ rior Department is planning holding it tightly to insure a slow legs and lower body. "Throw the Rascals Out!," Lynn juana. (At least Bill Clinton to open national forests to descent of the 500 pounds of The encounter with the barrel Yeakel started with a distinct tried it and failed.) private strip mining. It's bricks. You will note in block slowed me enough to lessen my advantage despite Specter's 33. George doesn't have a neat James Watts all over again. number eleven of the reporting injuries when I fell onto the pile numerous years in service as nickname like "Slick Willie." 9. Who wants four more years form that I weigh 135 pounds. of bricks, and, fortunately, only Pennsylvania's Senator. 32. He's a weenie. He also has of "Read My Lips?" Due to my surprise to being three vertebrae were cracked. In a nutshell? She blew it. All never slept with someone 8. George will do and promise jerked off the ground so suddenly, I am sorry to report, however, Lynn Yeakel needed to do was with the name Gennifer anything to get elected, then I lost my presence of mind and that as I lay there on the bricks show that she was as competent Flowers. back down after he gets what forgot to let go of the rope. Need­ — in pain, unable to stand, and to do as good a job as Specter, and 31. No one with the name Gen­ he wants. less to say, I proceeded at a rather watching the empty barrel six she might have blown him away. nifer Flowers would want to 7. Tom Dougherty will have to rapid rate up the side of the stories above me — I again lost Instead, she has failed to demon­ allege that she slept with buy Kelly Ayotte lunch. Kel­ building. presence of mind — strate that she has a specific George. ly's a nice person. She In the vicinity of the third floor. I LET GO OF THE ROPE - Page 8 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992 ROVING REPORTER

Well... Yelnosky isn't here anymore .. Lynne Sindoni — 3L

"Find an organization that neither Angie Chen or Tom Downey are members of." Paul Delia Franco — 3L

The Roving Reporter Asks:

"Get a job Stacey Meisel — 2L

~v.

"Get an 'A' in at least one course. Stephane Latour — 2L October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 9 ROVING

'Win a Softball game.' Nolo Contendre — IL Softball Team

"Become involved in various organizations (on-campus and off) so that I may use the knowledge I am acquiring to help the community that has helped me in the past." Tracey Jones — IL

J* f V* *

"Find a job in international law that will enable me to make an impact on the legal issues of globalism. I also hope it pays "Watch the Redskins win back-to-back Superbowls. See well so I can not only pay my loans but contribute to my smoking banned in the school. Have free covered parking for community that has supported me." motorcycles. Finish the New York Times crossword puzzle." Dawna Gardner — IL . Tom Downey — 3L

ii' •:« 'V jf- ; • * * ?• H -Vi • X A

Before I Graduate, I Want To

»/• ' • ^ . •• ^ ^ .• !. .-1s. •- I >» f' t & : \ i "i '•felSfe? S • J

'Get to Marita's before Fabio on Wednesday." 'Ride in the faculty elevator.' Mike Smith — 3L Grant Waterson — 3L Page 10 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992

Be able to get a 'free' cup of water from the cafeteria." Marilou Taylor — 2L

X' • •

yf4;;s;

• - -i," 4 "Make Law Review and secure a job that will enable me to pay off my loans." Gregory B. Williams — IL

- '"'r-

J-

i^"

"See Tom DOwney and Woody lovingly embrace and profess their love for each other. See Woody vote for Bill Clinton and Tom Downey's Redskins lose the rest of their games. Marry someone with a high income so I can stay home and watch soaps." Bill Rudnik — 3L

ANONYMOUS ANSWERS:

1. "Do the naked Hokey-Pokey in Dean Brogan's secretary's office." 2. "Visit St. l\/lary's nursing students just once, undetected." 3. "Learn the Fabio Crichigno sashay." 4. "Find out what actually happened to Serge." 5. "Discover how much of my parking fee increase goes to parkmg." 6. "Do B's in class." 7. "Eat a pizza in the library in front of the library police." 8. "Test the sensitivity of the Villanova administration by starting a Gay and Lesbian rights awareness group." 9. "Leave Red Mass sober." 10. "Go to Disneyland." 11. "Leave a T.G. sober and without company (of the opposite sex)." 12. "Tell an undergraduate my real name." 13. "Actually read a textbook without using Casenotes." 14. "Come in on a Sunday and find all the copy machines still have paper." 15. "Try one of the cans of Spaghetti-O's in the vending room." 16. "Turn off the TVs in the lounge when the soaps are one. And survive." 17. "Do chin-ups on the monkeybars in the courtyard." 18. "See the halls re-tiled." "Go to every wine and cheese reception.' 19. "Sing round a campfire in the lounge." Pat McDonagh — 3L 20. "Park in the Dean's parking space." October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 11

CROSSW RD® Crossword How Not To Succeed In Law School Edited by Stan Chess

(The following sections of this grueling treadmill of unsurpassed V. Peerless Transportation Co.,^ in Puzzle Created by Richard Silvestri law review article are being pub­ joy that it is. which the judge was apparently ACROSS 40 Friday 68 Pieces of 28 Howdotfie lished with the kind permission Class standing does irreparable a frustrated playwright: 1 Monkeyshine 41 Imposing eights? sheep get into of Professor James D. Gordon, III, psychic injury and scars bright This case presents the ordi­ 6 Withhold ihe group 69 Inhibit the pen, professor of law at Brigham Young and creative people for the rest of nary man — that problem child tip 42 Ne^usuhra DOWN Holmes? University Law School. Additional their natural lives. Following law of the law — in a most bizarre 11 ^ther 43 Go back to 1 Cheta,forone 30 Certain sections will be reprinted in school graduation, it often setting. As a lowly chauffeur 14 Domino plays page one 2 Guitarist servk»women subsequent issues of The Villan- happens that a bright and creative in defendant's employ, he it 45 Lines Lofgren 32 Hitting ova Docket.) person is about to do something became in a trice the protag­ 15 Bush-league overhead 3 Address cylinders V. THE FIRST YEAR bright and creative but then onist in a breath-bating drama 16 Over- 46 Pre-election 4 The bombs 33 AuthoriV Remember those horror stories thinks, "No, I was only number with a denouement almost permissive event bursting 36 Make a in which somebody wearing a 67 out of 150 in my class, I'm tragic. It appears that a man, 17 Why did 48 Ponzi scheme, dedskxi hockey mask terrorizes people at probably not capable of any men­ whose identity it would be Fitzgerald sing eg- 5 Issues orders 39 Gave a hand a summer camp and slowly and tal activity greater than picking indelicate to divulge, was felon­ "mi," Holmes? 49 "HoldonTighr 6 Little, to a 41 Came dean carefully slashes them all into slugs off zucchini plants." So she iously relieved of his portable 19 Mr. Adams band lassie 43 Does some bloody little pieces? That's what doesn't do anything. goods by two nondescript high­ and CSOs 50 "I Still See 7 Dyeing wish cobbling the first year of law school is like. To make sure the message gets waymen in an alley near 26th TV show) '{Paint 8 Following 44 Biblical brother along 47 Torrent of Except it's worse, because the through, the professors are not Street and Third Avenue, Man­ 20 Gives the Your Wagon professors don't wear hockey once-over tune) 9 Bird or Barkley abuse content with the demeaning and hattan; they induced him to 51 Young, Ladd masks, and you have to look 21 Villagers 52 Speaker of 10 Dressing type humiliating exercise of calculating relinquish his possessions by a diamond faune 11 Where did this and King directly at their faces. 23 Slum problem class standing. No. First, they tell strong argument ad hominem 25 Nuts 54 Holds in check fruit come 53 Easily-spit At first, it's not so bad. You get students that class standing and couched in the convincing cant 26 Workout spot 57 Dfferent firom, Holmes? rock to read a semi-interesting medie­ grades do not matter. Not at all. of the criminal and pressed at 29 Jersey 60 GaHery display 12 Humorist 54 Summer place val case in which somebody says, They know that the students will the point of a most persuasive bouncers? 61 Is this in the Barry 55 Voiced "Forsooth, were it not that Bir- remember the episode with the pistol. Laden with their loot, 31 Zoo style of a 13 Babe's 56 A foe of Pan's nam wood had come in Dunsi- commercial outlines and will but not thereby impeded, they attractions devilfish, buddies 58 Q.E.D. middle nane, I would unseam thee from therefore conclude that nothing took an abrupt departure and 34 Feel busy Holmes? 18 Artifkaal-fabric 59 Have value the nave to the chaps." But the else in the entire universe matters he, shuffling off the coil of that 35 Stretched out 64 Spanish sea component 62 Stomach honeymoon ends when you have except class standing and grades. discretion which enmeshed kx>sely 65 StarinCygnus 22 Mogul master musdes, for to go to your first class. The Then, to strike the final blow, the him in the alley, quickly gave 37 Alcohd burner 66 Raise the 24 It's often set short professor has a black belt in an professors adopt a grading system chase.. 38 Featured spirits 26 Barfcx>d 63 * dam ancient martial art called "the straight out of the seventh level This judge was obviously having players 67 Persevere at 27 King or queen tooiin'r Socratic method."' After the of Dante's Inferno. They take such a good time it's hard to To " 11" 13 professor completely dismantles a students who have undergraduate believe that the point of all of this ii student for sheer sport and humil­ CPA's of A-minus, and who have humor was (chuckle, chuckle) to iates several dozen others, he then never gotten a B-minus in their hand down a decision against a 1. points out forty-seven different entire lives, and they give them woman and her infant children things in the two paragraph case — get this — all C's!!! This will who were injured by a runaway that you failed to see and still prove that the professors know taxi} don't understand. You leave class the law better than the students, Another strange, but interest­ hoping that maybe there is still in case that point was somehow ing, example of our judiciary in a jobopening in your brother-in- overlooked. Most law students action is United States ex rel. Mayo law's toothpick recycling factory. never recover from this act of evil V. Satan and his Staff,^ in which You are beginning to learn why genius. They spend the rest of the plaintiff sued Satan under law school has been compared to their lives figuring out how to get federal statutes for violating his a besieged city, everybody outside even with the rest of humanity.^ civil rights. He alleged that the wants in, and everybody inside This is also the reason that defendant had on numerous occa­ wants out. Supreme Court Justices are sions caused him misery, plagued Many students write "case always so testy with each other him with unwarranted threats, briefs," or one-page summaries of in their opinions. An example: placed deliberate obstacles in his the case, before class, in case the "When two of our esteemed col­ path, and caused his downfall, professor calls on them. This is leagues left the majority and and therefore had deprived him of a good stategy if you have the joined the dissent, it raised the his constitutional rights. The slightest aversion to utter humi­ average IQ in both groups by 30 court denied the plaintiff's appli­ liation. The brain is a truly points." HA! The Justices are still cation to proceed in forma paupe­ wonderful thing: it works from hopping mad about that C-minus ris, holding: the instant you awake until you We question whether plain­ they got in civil procedure 40 01992 Crossword Magazirw Inc. go to sleep, and it doesn't stop years ago. tiff may obtain personal juris­ Box 909 • Beltmore, NY 11710 • (S16) 679-8608 until the moment you get called During the first year, the law diction over the defendant in on in class, when it suffers a students quickly divide into three this judicial district. The com­ complete and immediate core groups: plaint contains no allegation of Answer on Page 13 meltdown. Your professor and 150 The Active Participants: Over­ residence in this district. While other students are waiting confident geeks who compete with the official reports disclose no patiently for you to state the facts each other to take up the most case where this defendant has of a given case, and the only sound airtime pointing out that before appeared as defendant there is in the room is a low gurgling rattle law school, when they were Full- an unofficial account of a trial coming from the back of your bright Scholars, they thought of in New Hampshire where this throat. a question marginally relevant to defendant filed an action of The key to the Socratic method today's discussion. Their names mortgage foreclosure as plain­ is that the professor never reveals appear on the class' "Turkey tiff. The defendant in that what the answer is. He keeps Bingo" cards, a game you win if action was represented by the insisting that THERE IS NO five people on your card speak preeminent advocate of that ANSWER. Consistent with this during one class period. The day, and raised the defense view, he spends the whole class Active Participants stop talking that the plaintiff was a foreign period asking questions that no completely when first-semester prince with no standing to sue one even begins to understand. To grades come out and they get all in an American court. This get the answers, you have to buy C's. defense was overcome by over­ commercial outlines, which cost The Back Benchers: Cool dudes whelming evidence to the con­ $16.95 apiece and are published by who "opt out" of law school's trary. Whether or not this the same people who publish. competitive culture and never would raise an estoppel in the Cliffs Notes and Key Comics. The prepare for class. They sit on the present case we are unable to commercial outlines are written back row, rather than in their determine at this time. by the professors and provide assigned seats, so the professor We note that the plaintiff has them with a handsome income on can't find them on the seating failed to include with his com­ the side. To injure that you will chart. They ask if they can "bor­ plaint the required form of buy them, the professors tell you, row" your class outline. instructions for the United whatever you do, DO NOT buy The Terrified Middle Group: States Marshal for directions any commercial outlines, because People who spend most of their as to service of process.^ they will make it TOO EASY for time wondering what the hey is The plaintiff in Mayo sued with­ you and you will not develop the going on, and why don't the out a lawyer, because suing the analytical skills and hard work professors just tell us what the devil would present lawyers with ethic that law school is supposed law is and stop playing "hide the an obvious conflict of interest. to teach. Pretty cagey, these ball" and shrouding the law in But most cases are, in Mark professors. mystery/philosophy/sociology/ Twain's phrase, chloroform in At the beginning the people in nihilistic relativism/astrology/ print.® Show me a person who your class seem like nice enough voodoo/sado-masochistic Socratic finds them fascinating, and I'll folks. But gradually everyone kung fu? show you a charisma coach for begins to realize that their only The cases are, of course, dread­ Calvin Coolidge. of the Socratic method of law teaching. THE 1980'S, at 52, 66 n.l5 (1983). hope of getting a job is to blast fully boring. There are, however, 1. This form of mayhem has, of His teaching style was so unpopular the chromosomes out of their a few interesting characters you course, nothing to do with technique that Harvard's law school enrollment 2. This all-consuming desire for ven­ classmates in the giant zero-sum will meet in the legal literature, by which Socrates gently sought to plummeted, and rumors circulated geance is called "appropriate lawyerly have his students teach themselves that Langdell might be fired. When zeal." thermonuclear war game called like the "fertile octogenarian," the law professors across America learned 3. 27 N.Y.S.2d 198 (N.Y. City Ct. 1941). "class standing." Class standing "naked trespasser," and the "offi­ the truth hidden inside each of them. The only connection that the law how much students despised the 4. Id. at 199. is what saves law school from cious intermeddler." It is best to school version of the Socratic method method, however, they immediately 5. Id. at 200. being a boring, cooperative learn­ keep these three people from has with educationis that it teaches rushed to adopt it, and Langdell's job 6. 54 F.R.D. 282 (W.D. Pa. 1971). ing experience and makes it the spending much unsupervised time you to hate the sound of your own name. was spared. See R. Stevens, LAW 7. Id. at 283. dynamic, exciting, survival of the together. Also, there are a few Christopher Columbus Langdell of SCHOOL: LEGAL EDUCATION IN 8. M. Twain, ROUGHING IT 132 fittest, cutthroat, competitive, interesting cases, such as Cordas Harvard was one of the first advocates AMERICAN FROM THE 1850'S TO (1901). Page 12 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992 iFEATURESi back and brood. He lost his sense other and were debating whether constitutional law on the basis of A Morass of Seeming of humor when he lost his hair. to do a "cannonball" near where morality, their morality. Moral He hated this idea from the begin­ Chairbottom was sitting. Don was relativism is one kind of moral ning but he went when the others sitting at a picnic table with his theory, not the absence of one." Inconsistencies: A Serial promised they would try to be in maps spread out trying to figure "Yeah," Lonny echoed Houston for the Republican out the best way to get out of emphatically. I've heard that interesting peo­ to find the place they are at. National Convention. Between Georgia without falling into the Fuzzy was frothing. "What ple make for interesting reading. Maybe it's all in the getting there. you and me, we never made it. Don Atlantic. Gil and Dick were scur­ about precedent? Stare damn I guess that means if this tale I'm Maybe not. couldn't find Texas on the map. rying around getting the luggage about to spin is anything but Decisis, remember that? Sexual I watched them as they filed off But he did fix the bus. Before and filling up the ice buckets. We relationships and activities do not captivating, there's no one to the bus. There are only two forces long they began to file back on. sat quietly and each nonchalantly lose that intimate status when blame but me. Do me a favor, that could thrust people together They agreed to head north mostly glanced at Shady, who hadn't said engaged in for reasons other than though, and don't hang the mes­ who have personalities so incom­ since Gil and Dick had made barely a word in three days, procreation. In the decisions Karey senger. If you find a moral in the patible that they never even arrangements for us to spend the sitting at the pool's edge staring V. Population Services, Int., Woe end, a message in the middle, or should have been allowed to meet; first night in a motel in Jersey into the greenish blue water. V. Rade, and Bisenstadt v. Eaird a lecture on any side of the lines those forces are Love and the City, New Jersey. Don fired up the A discussion ensued that, I the constitutional principle of that follow and the episodes to Government. Both absolutely defy bus and promptly hit 1-95 toward don't mind admitting, was a little individual autonomy protected come, you have no one to blame logic but Love is alot easier to Richmond. beyond me, but I'll try to give you the individual's right to DECI­ but yourself. Friends, I am merely forgive. Still, there they were, The trip began quietly. Dee and what of it I remember as accurate­ repeating what I saw because you SION about procreation. That the partners for life and they walked Dom started with the "a hundred ly as I can. It started with Shady possibility of procreation exists ought to know. And because I by me one by one. bottles of milk on the wall" song muttering into the ripples in the there and not here is irrelevant. barely believe it myself. And I was The first off the bus was Giu­ but got only as far as ninety-seven water. there. What matters is that the relation­ seppe Malamazora-Linguini or before Chairbottom scolded them "The Shade blew it." ship is protected. Where is the Since friends know each other, "Beppe" to his friends. We're all and made them sit separately on We all looked up. and I know you, I guess I should difference? The proper question is friends so that's what we'll call either side of the bus. Lonny "Shademan blew it," he said not whether homosexual sex as start with me. I study law most him. He was usually the short guy started to pull out a harmonica again, this time louder. of the time, just like you. Only such has long enjoyed a special running headlong ahead of or over but a look from Beppe and he "Aw, Shady don't be like that," difference is, I had the summer place in the pantheon of consti­ the others. Pasta and a sedentary quietly put it away. So all was said Annie. "Sometimes these job of a lifetime. I spent the tutional rights, but whether pri­ profession gave him a pleasant silent except for the dashboard things don't work out. Now that vate, consensual, adult sexual summer with nine judges. Real shape and an equally pleasant radio that Don had set to the only you've figured out what you're important ones. You might have acts partake of traditionally disposition so long as you agreed station that would come in. The looking for, you'll find ..." revered liberties of intimate asso­ heard of them. Maybe not. Any­ with him and weren't in his way country music droned on softly "That's not what I mean!" he way, they sit on the same bench ciation and individual when he was trying to get off a barely distinguishable from the stammered. autonomy." all through the fall and winter and bus. sound of the motor. "I get it," smiled Fuzzy as if he "Shademan never ... well.. into the spring. Year in and year Following at his heels was the had been waiting for this moment out. Fact is, by the end of this Shady tried in vain to interject but newest member of the group, Lon for a long, long time. "Howers isn't they were all interrupted by particular term, they were very G.John. He's a soft spoken fellow. Episode I: Shady Grey theoretical now. It's real, isn't it Dick's yell from the balcony that nearly about to give up. They had Usually takes the long way to Comes Out of the Closet Shady? Not to be insensitive, but the pizza guy was here and it was beaten The Document so out of work so he doesn't have to drive The first few weeks of the trip how does it feel? It's the right to getting cold. shape as to be beyond recognition. past the Capitol Building. Pet were uneventful and everyone be left alone, Shady. The most All but Shady stood and started It's kinda like when you fool with peeves are Senators, Contracts generally agreed that this was a comprehensive of rights and the moving toward dinner. Fuzzy kept a pop-sickle stick and bend it back professors (not all, just one really), horribly bad idea. Then came right most valued by civilized going as they walked. and forth enough times, it breaks and Benjamin Hooks (Lon has no Savannah. men, the right to be left alone! "And besides, what about the into pieces in your hand. Same idea what he ever did to him). We had all noticed, most cas­ Don't you wish they would have privacy of the home? Mind you, deal. Never had a few pieces of Everyone is a little tired of hearing ually, that Shady Grey had been had to leave you alone. Shady?" I can't imagine why anyone would shriveled parchment made less about Lonny's great-grandfather. paying a great, you might even say "There is no constitutional want to, but what if the police sense to more people. The bunch Next, Fuzzy Oldmon stepped inordinate, amount of attention to right to be let alone or there would were staking out YOUR bedroom, of them were hopelessly confused gingerly down the stairs. He Gil. Long, soft-toned discussions. be no law," said Beppe, leaning invading your privacy!" and generally pissed off at each mostly pouts anymore, pining for Walks in the moonlight. Sharing back in a deck chair with his eyes other. The only thing they could Beppe paused to answer, but the good old days when things bottles of peach wine. And they closed. briefly, because there was pizza agree upon was that something were easy, life was sweet and he always sat next to each other on Fuzzy ignored him, "That sta­ not too far away waiting for him. had to be done. To make a pain­ was occasionally in the majority. the bus — always. Sure, Gil was tute, that same statute that landed "Privacy of the home is less than fully long story mercifully short He has an autographed copy of his a handsome fellow. Any strong, you a night in jail, denies individ­ absolute. The Fourth Amendment so I can get to the good stuff, they landmark Woe v. Rade decision red-blooded American ex-football uals the right to decide for them­ decided to spend the summer states that citizens are to be framed and hanging in his star's head would be turned. But selves whether to engage in par­ secure in their homes from unreas­ traveling together and hash it out. chambers. He carries a wallet we all started to raise a collective ticular forms of private, That way, they figured they onable searches and seizures; it sized copy with him always. eyebrow. Shady? Could it be? consensual sexual activity. You does not suggest that anything would be confined and constantly Beppe occasionally swipes it and Then in Savannah, it happened. said that decision merely refuses together. done in the home has additional he and Lonny toss it back and To put this as delicately as to recognize a fundamental right You see, they realized they were constitutional protection. The forth playing "Keep away from possible, the soft Savannah breeze to engage in homosexual sodomy; stuck with one another for life, no Fourth Amendment recognizes Fuzzy." Fuzzy used to just play and the huge Georgian moon were what you really have refused to divorce, no parole. It was kinda the government's right to enter along but he has begun to find the too much for Shady and he recognize is the fundamental the home under proper warrant, like a bad marriage on a deserted game less and less funny. declared his undying love for Gil interest all individuals have in island where there are two cho­ or if the search is reasonable." Bouncing along behind him with a passionate stutter that controlling the nature of their ices; one, throw her into the drink, Beppe moved to leave but Fuzzy were Dee Tweedle and Dom Twee- would have made Sir Walter intimate associations with grabbed his arm. or, two, learn to get along. They die. They are not related and the Raleigh proud. Gil was flattered, others." also realized that, unlike the lucky "What about Equal Protection names are merely a coincidence. of course, but said that while he "By intimate associations, you husband, they would have to deal — the Fourteenth Amendment. It confused the hell out of the enjoyed Shady's company and mean sexual conduct," said Beppe with the police which made the How can you say that this is equal Senate Judiciary Committee while Shady had a great jawline, not stirring from his original obvious choice impractical. They protection of the laws?" though. They both coasted he was not of that preference and position, "say it Fuzzy, 'sex'." are very smart people. Beppe turned, "If there is an through their confirmation hear­ hoped they could remain friends. "Okay, sex." affirmative legal right, that right Since they, naturally, couldn't ings on the theory that two non­ Shady was heartbroken but said Beppe sat up, swung his legs agree where to go, they rented a must be allowed to everyone — descript looking men with such he understood. They then over the side of the chair and tour bus. Then they hired a near­ but if there is not an underlying silly names couldn't do too much embraced — a manly, bar-room crouched, elbows on his knees and sighted driver named Don. He legal right or an affirmative grant damage. That remains to be seen. embrace. Suddenly, a light blazed focused on Fuzzy. "If the consti­ may have started out as a chauf­ in the Constitution, the Equal Dee is famous for his swinging in their eyes, they were tackled, tutional argument is limited to the feur for John Marshall's hay- Protection does not kick in. The swing vote. Don't stand too close handcuffed, and thrown into the voluntary sexual conduct between fueled limo, we're not sure. If not, state has a right to prohibit to Dee; we're never sure where it's back seat of a county sheriff's consenting adults, it would be he was doing something else but conduct unless that conduct is gonna go. Dom up till the time we squad car. A couple of deputies, difficult, except by fiat, to limit he was there. They also hired a legal. There is a difference embarked had never set foot who were brothers and whose the claimed right to homosexual between conduct and category. couple guides, Gil and Dick, who outside his chambers which he mother and father were definitely had been giving tours of the conduct while leaving exposed to Georgia restricted certain homo­ had remodeled to look like a New closely related (and maybe their prosecution adultery, incest, bes­ courthouse for the last five years sexual conduct, not the state of England cabin and decorated with grandparents too), were yelling tiality, bigamy, and other sexual and needed the cash. And they being a homosexual. Now Fuzzy, life-sized pictures of his mother. back at them how there "ain't crimes even though they are hired a clerk. Judges can't do I have to warn you that you are Next with long strides, chin out gonna be none a yo' kind 'round committed in the home. When the standing between me and pizza, anything without a clerk. And and shoulders squared passed heea." they only had room enough for community decides that certain get it?" Cyrus Grey. Grey was a football Shady and Gil eventually called sexual conduct is permissible and one. That's where I come in. I had Fuzzy got it and let go of Beppe. star in his youth, so swift, so from the lock up and Annie and is not, courts have an uncle once who knew a judge's other conduct They went inside and fought over elusive that he earned the name I went and bailed them out. The no way of disagreeing about the cousin (they played tennis togeth­ the slice with the most pepperoni. "Shady" which he uses in place procedural history of "Georgia v. line drawn except by saying that er) who married a woman and had Outside, Shady sat alone by the of the appropriate personal prnoun Grey" went like this; a hearing the judges' morality is superior to an affair with her sister whose pool in the pale moonlight peering when referring to himself with was held and the case was thrown that of the citizenry and is, for husband was distantly related to intently into the water as though just the slightest hint of out, the D.A. decided not to that reason, to be transformed this guy whose attorney impreg­ he might catch a glimpse of the narcissism. prosecute and they were allowed into a constitutional standard." truth swirling around with the nated my uncle's wife. She knew Mired in conversation followed to go free. Shady decided not to someone who got me the job. "Yeah," said Lonny. muck in the deep end. Pius Roberts and Annie S. Pooch. try to appeal the case all the way Fuzzy stared right back. "Mor­ Career Services never even posted NEXT ISSUE: The rabbit dies Pius is a cute little fella with an up to himself. Besides, he had ality! You talk about imposing it, much less knew about it. and Annie worries. impressive collection of bow ties. already disposed of this very morality? Howers is dripping with We set off from Washington, * The Narrator and his Editors While he usually hangs out with question years ago in his famous harkenings to 'traditional values' would like credit the sources of D.C. the day after the term ended. a Ringo-esq "I'm just happy to be Howers v. Bardwick opinion. The bus stalled as we drove down and 'community moral standards.' the supplemented legal dialogue here" look, he occasionally comes Shady was tormented. We The mere knowledge that other Constitution Avenue, just outside — Bowers v. Hardwick, 478 U.S. up with a whopper. Annie is empathized. This was alot for individuals do not adhere to one's the National Archives. Rather 186 (1986) (White, J.) (Blackmun, affable, approachable and fairly someone to deal with. He opened value system cannot be a legally than being upset, they saw it as J. dissenting); Bork, "The Tempt­ Californian. Which would make the door and came out of the closet cognizable interest, let alone an a sign and decided that while Don ing of America," pp. 116-126 her the most well-adjusted of the just to have all the junk he himself interest that can justify invading took the engine apart, they would (Simon & Schuster, New York bunch except for the last part. had piled above the closet door the houses, hearts, and minds of 1990); Tribe, "American Constitu­ go inside, pay homage, kneel Still, she's close. She also finds come crashing down on his head. before The Document in the citizens who choose to live their tional Law" pp. 1421-1435 (Second Beppe to be somewhat irritating. That was how he felt, anyway. lives differently." golden Secular Tabernacle and Edition, The Fountain Press, New She was followed by former law The night before we were set "Well, Shademan ...," attemp­ York 1988) (editors note; Tribe seek inspiration and guidance. school classmate and present to leave Georgia, we sat around ted Shady. Kinda like a reverse pilgrimage. argued the case for Michael Hard­ court Big Cheese, William Chair- the pool behind the Casa Rosa Beppe leaned forward. "Judges wick in the Supreme Court); and They start at the place they are bottom, IV who characteristically Motel as dusk fell. Dee and Dom supposed to be going for a journey who vigorously deny elected repre­ Seuss, Dr., "Green Eggs and took up the rear. He likes to sit had on their water wings on each sentatives the right to create Ham." 1< October, t992« THE DOCKET • Page 13 FEATURES CROSSW RD®Crosswort

The Secret Life of Scott Donnini

On Friday, September 18,1992, volunteer. Docket editor, Federal­ a few chosen people were lucky ist Society founder, etc. ..., he is enough to experience the reunion also a former band member of of a little known band called Outta Hand. In his salad days Outta Hand. Why the reunion? as a college student, Scott and 0002 Why the break up? Why should three of his boyhood companions we care? I suppose the last ques­ joined forces to stir up the local tion should be answered first. rock scene. They often played at Within the walls of Garey High the Philadelphia area bars and dwells a diversity of people. While college functions (they also we lowly law students struggle recorded an album). However, the each day with this foreboding wear and tear of the "road" institution of law, it is often hard facilitated their breakup several to believe that we actually have years ago. Now to answer the first interests, let alone true talent, question, why the reunion? Well, outside the law. Hence the point in a typical manner of volunteer- of this article. A surprising talent ism, the band gets together once exists amongst our midst. Scott a year to perform at the neighbor­ Donnini, pictured here doing his hood Church's Country Fair for imitation of Bruce Springsteen, is free. So if you want to catch Scott not only an accomplished law in action again, you'll have to wait student, Homeless Advocacy until next year. Sorry folks.

Snake River DmA lake Any Chances Falls Snake River Falls Will Create a Splash at Cedar Point in 1993 Cedar Point will unveil one of OnTheMBE the two highest, fastest and wettest water flume plunges in the world next year when Snake River Falls opens in Frontiertown at the Sandusky, Ohio amusement park/resort. Taller and faster than the park's famous Blue Streak roller coaster, Snake River Falls will take 20-passenger boats to the top of an 80-foot hill. There, the boats will crest the falls and plummet 80 feet at a 50-degree angle reach­ ing speeds topping 40 mph. Sharing the title as the world's tallest water flume will be a similar ride that is slated to open at Dorney Park in Allentown, Pa., next summer. Cedar Point and Dorney Park are both owned and operated by Cedar Fair, L.P. Sponsored by Pepsi, Snake River Falls will cost $3.5 million to build and will be the park's 55th ride. Cedar Point is the largest ride park in North America. The water ride was engineered by Arrow Dynamics, a ride manufac­ turing company in Clearfield, Utah. "Higher, steeper and faster are terms normally used to describe a roller coaster," said Richard L. Kinzel, president of Cedar Point. "Snake River Falls will be to water rides what the Magnum XL- 200 is to coasters. "Snake River Falls will provide excitement and the opportunity for every member of the family to get wet!" Kinzel said. Non-riders will also have the chance to get drenched, too. A footbridge tra­ versing the bottom of the falls will MULTISTATS SPECIALIST treat spectators to a "tidal wave" of water every time a boat splashes down. The expected "splash area" is approximately 25-30 feet tall and' 64 feet across. Snake River Falls will take approximately 1,500 guests on the plunge each W(^ Teach You How To \^! hour. Snake River Falls will be located EAST COAST OFFICE in Frontiertown, behind the Town WEST COAST OrnCE MEW YORK OFFICE Hall Museum. A wide observation 211 Bainbridge Street 1247 6th Street 450 7th Avenue, Suite 3504 deck will be added to the bridge Mew York, MY 10123 Philadelphia, PA 19147 that connects the Frontier Trail Santa Monica, CA 90401 to Frontiertown. Site renovation will begin later this month. (213) 459-8481 (212) 947-2525 (215) 925-4109 Other Cedar Point improve­ ments for 1993 are still being finalized. Additional information NATIONWIDE TOLL FREE NUMBER; (800) 523-0777 will be released throughout the winter. Page 14* THE DOCKET • October, 1992 ORGANIZATIONS AND Television's New Deal-Making The Festival

by Mary Locke their own promotional machines According to Variety's John writers. The outcome of the choice of Sukkot Remember the days of three and of course do not require the Dempsey, with at least 19 sitcoms of the two deals does not vary by The Jewish Law Society major networks, PBS, and a good number of prints needed in a competing for off-network slots much in terms of the situation The holiday of Sukkot is one of pair of rabbit ears to receive a theatrical wide release. between the fall of 1993 and 1996, comedy; however, hour dramas the three festivals in Judaism. All UHF station? The deal-makers in The video cassette sales/rental the major syndicators' are facing which use guest stars will fare three festivals (Sukkot, Passover, the television industry did not part of the deal for the independ­ a buyer's market. The glut of better with cable. For example, and Shavu-ot) celebrate a major look past the first-run possibilities ent producer in first-run cable material has deflated licensing Beverly Hills 90210 may be bought event in Jewish history and part of the program they were pitching deal, however, is less lucrative. fees paid to distributors. To offset by Lifetime for 150,000 per epi­ of the planting cycle. Sukkot to the network. Agents for above- After a film airs on cable first-run, this decrease in revenues, distrib­ sode, the 10% residual would be commemorates the period when the-line talent negotiated syndica­ there is a three month period of utors are peddling their shows to 15,000. However, six off-network the Jews wandered through the tion deals for their clients. How­ time before the window for video every available outlet. reruns of the same show would desert and the fall harvest. Sukkot ever, these deals did not have to release opens. According to Var­ Dempsey cited Buena Vista cost its distributor Worldvision lasts for a week. The first two contemplate the vast array of iety, a film that went to cable first (Disney's distributor) as an exam­ $120,000 — $150,000 in residuals days are holy days and are cele­ exhibition outlets available today. has a decreased sales potential in ple of the deal-makers' approach alone. Negotiating these deals brated in the synagogue. The last In the 1980's cable became almost the video store of 20-25%. The deal to the glut in programming. BV involves satisfying the off- day is called Shimeeni Atzeret. as common to the American house­ is further complicated by the has five network sitcoms available network station or cable station, The eighth day starts Simchat hold as running water. Conse­ significant distinctions between for syndication in 1995 and 19%: the distributor, and the production Torah. quently, in the 1990's, television premium channels like HBO or "Dinosaurs," "Blossom," "Home company. Moreover, the deals deal-making has become far more Showtime and basic cable net­ Improvement," "Herman's Head," continue to become complex as SUKKOT complicated, competitive, and in works like USA or Lifetime. and "Nurses." BV is reportedly cable stations are frequently The Jews traveled in the desert some cases controversial. Because the subscribing audience seeking out a deal that would owned by production studios. for forty years after their flight The film industry has quietly for premium cable is smaller than bring in $100 million for "Home (Paramount and MCA own USA). from Egypt. Each night when they expressed the concern that cable that of basic cable networks, their Improvement" and $50 million for (The above figures were compiled made camp, the families would would keep their audiences home. sales potential at the video store each of the remaining four shows. by Variety's John Dempsey. build a temporary dwelling called The initial response was to cut up after their TV run is greater. And One deal has BV handing "Blos­ The television industry is con­ a sukkah. The sukkah has three the old movie houses or build because basic cable networks som" and "Dinosaurs" to stations tinuing to evolve into a complex walls and one side left open. The cineplexes where if you listen must meet standards and practi­ now programming a Disney after­ web of distributors, production roof is made of slats and covered carefully, you can hear three ces requirements almost as rigid noon cash-free in return for keep­ studios, off-network stations and with branches. Today Jews still movies at the same time. Ticket as the networks. However, the ing half of the advertising time. cable exhibitors. Cable has indeed build these booths to celebrate prices increased to pay for the most significant development to Still another option would be to put a dent in the theatrical film Sukkot. Every synagogue builds increased costs of production as be considered by the independent model the distribution after the industry's pocket while creating a sukkah and many families also well as the loss of audience. producer seeking the most lucra­ "Empty Nest" sale. In this unique a viable alternative to first run build one in their backyard. The However, cable is now creating tive deal is the increased attention deal, made earlier this year, film exhibition. Cable outlets have sukkah is decorated with fruit another problem for the film given by cable to promoting these stations buying "Nest" received proven to create opportunities for from the harvest, and according industry. Besides keeping audien­ films and the key time slots now exclusive rights in the first three lucrative syndication deals. The to Jewish law, Jews are required ces away from the box office, given to films in the programming years, and in the fourth year, TBS evolution of cable has subsequent­ to eat their meals in the sukkah independent film producers are grid. would share in the deal. Disney ly forced the "Big Three" into during the week of sukkot. now taking their product directly The availablity of new exhibi­ would benefit from the combina­ unprecedented programming Sukkot is a holiday of celebra­ to cable networks as a substitute tion outlets has not exclusively tion of licensing fees. Stations scheduling. The summer televi­ tion after the repentance and for theatrical release. favored film. In the recent past, would benefit from the lower sion season was once void of new judgement of Yom Kippur. Sukkot In the August 31, 1992 edition reruns of situation comedies and licensing fees in exchange for programming. In the past few is celebrated with four symbols; of Variety, a VP of sales and dramas have proved very lucrative yielding a fourth year of exclusiv­ years, the summer has become a a palm branch, 3 myrtle branches, marketing of a major film group in syndication both for distribu­ ity. TBS would receive a relatively proving ground for untried mate­ 2 willow branches, and an etrog- cited the increased print and tors and talent. However, firstrun new program. rial as well as an opportunity for (citrus fruit that looks like a advertising costs as a reason for programming is no longer found A key element involved in put­ a jump start on the competition. lemon with a long stem). All of bypassing theatrical release. P & exclusively on the big three net­ ting a syndication deal together is Instead of worrying about each the symbols represent parts of the A can start at $3 million for a works. Fox, Lifetime, USA, HBO the residual payment. In syndica­ other, the networks seem to be body that are to be used to cele­ modest release campaign and up and other cable channels, in tion, residuals are paid by the concentrating on cable and most brate and thank G-d. The willow to $6 million for a nationwide addition to rerunning now defunct distributor on a sliding scale: 75% recently, FOX. Television deal- represents the mouth due to the campaign that covers TV and and current network programs, of the original salary per episode makers are required to under­ shape of #he leaves. The one palm newspaper advertising. Agents have begun fielding offers from for the first and second reruns, stand the changes in the industry. branch represents the backbone. for independent producers feel producers and distributors pitch­ 50% for the third through fifth, They must be aware of every The myrtle leaves are the eyes that in many cases a film may not ing programs still in development. 10% for the sixth, and 5% for every opportunity to most effectively because of their shape, and the gross enough at the box office to The availability of more outlets run beyond that. For cable, a one­ distribute the product that will etrog symbolizes the heart. cover those costs when added to for programming has created a time 10%i of the gross is divided satisfy the increasing number of The symbolism goes further production costs. Cable networks glut of off-network programming, among the actors, directors and parties involved in the deal. showing four types of Jews. The like HBO, USA, and Lifetime are in particular, situation comedies. Jew who does not study the Torah (the five books of Moses) and does not perform good deeds is like the Law Review Symposium: Who willow which has no taste and no smell. The Jew who does not study Controls Computer Network Torah but does good deeds is the myrtle which has a smell but no Communications Highway? taste. The Jew who studies Torah but fails to perform good deeds is Computer-based communica­ Wilmer, Cutler & Pickering in the palm with a flavor but no tion networks transmitting elec­ Washington, D.C.; Professor smell. Lastly, is the Jew who does tronic mail and other bundles of Ethan Katsh, University of both represented by the symbol of information today link thousands Massachusetts; Ronald L. taste and smell, the etrog. All of of institutions, organizations and Plesser, Esq., Piper & Marbury the branches and the etrog are individuals. Yet this is only the in Washington, D.C., M. Kat­ held together and pointed towards beginning. hleen Price, the Law Librarian the four corners of the earth and .There is an overwhelming sup­ of Congress, and Marc Roten- a blessing is said thanking G-d for port for the development of an berg of Computer Professionals the harvest. This is done on each "information superhighway." for Social Responsibility, Washing­ day of sukkot. Both President George Bush and ton, D.C. Senator Albert Gore have spoken The panel will focus on issues SHIMEENI ATZERET in favor of the concept of such a raised in a hypothetical fact The seventh day of sukkot is "superhighway." Many of Amer­ pattern that will be made available Shemeeni Atzeret which begins ica's foremost policy-makers agree to the audience prior at the begin­ the rainy season in Israel. To get that such a "communications ning of the symposium. Profes­ a good crop, the land needs a lot highway" is necessary for Amer­ sor Henry H. Perritt, Jr. of the of rain and Jews all over the world ica to advance its educational and Villanova University School of add a prayer for rain to their industrial infrastructures into the Law will moderate the discussion. services. 21st century. The public is invited to attend The Villanova Law Review, both the panel discussion and the SIMCHAT TORAH recognizing the importance of reception immediately following. This holiday begins with the building consensus among the There will be ample opportunity end of sukkot, and it celebrates highway architects, is sponsoring for the audience to interact with finishing the Torah and beginning a symposium to address "The the panel. again. Jews read the Torah in Congress, the Courts and portions starting with creation Computer-based Communication NOTE: Issues to be discussed and continuing through Deute­ Networks: Answering Questions include: ronomy. Every Sabbath is about Access and Content Con­ (1) whether the legislature and/or assigned a portion called a parsha. trol." The Law Review has the courts should impose an equal On Simchat Torah the last portion gathered many of the chief archi­ access obligation upon networks in the last book, Deuteronomy, is tects together to participate in a and if such an obligation is read and then the first portion, the roundtable panel discussion at the imposed, whether the networks Maureen Spaide (Registrar's Office) celebrated her 21st story of creation. Simchat Torah School of Law on Saturday, should be granted immunity from birthday. is a celebration. In the synagogue November 7,1992 at 12 noon, with tort liability; the congregation takes all the a reception immediately following (2) whether the First Amendment issues, such as those identified tion exchange that will advance scrolls (what the torah is written the discussion at 3 p.m. protects those, including net­ above, that are moving to the democratic social reform in many on) out of the ark (box-like struc­ The panelists are Jerry J. works and network users, who foreground because of rapid parts of the world; ture on the pulpit where the Herman of the Electronic Front­ wish to transmit, or who do advances in information exchange (5) whether certain users of a scrolls are stored) and walks ier Foundation, Washington, D.C.; transmit, "offensive" or "unwel­ technology; network, such as political candi­ around the synagogue with them Professor Angela J. Campbell come" information; (4) how may the development of dates, should be accorded "spe­ seven times. This processional is from Georgetown University: (3) whether it is possible to adapt an information superhighway cial" treatment because of the accompanied by singing and David R. Johnson, Esq., traditional legal doctrines to foster an international informa­ nature of their message? dancing. October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 15 ORGANIZATIONS AND EVENTS

- F-s;;.5;^ student Organization Budget Fall 1992

Public Interest Law Society $ 400.00 Jewish Law Society $ 325.00 Court Jesters $ 550.00 BLSA $ 600.00 APALSA $ 120.00 Sports & Entertainment Law Society $ 675.00 Rugby $ 550.00 Corporate Law Society $ 425.00 NIABA $ 305.00 Catholic Law Society $ 325.00 Criminal Law Society $ 350.00 Intellectual Property Protection $ 100.00 LALSA $ 570.00 Health Law Society $ 75.00^ Environmental Law Society " ; $ 450.00 International Law Society $ 500.00 Tax Law Society $ 275.00 Women's Law Caucus $ 600.00 Phi Delta Phi $ 300.00 $7495.00

^Health Law Society has a balance of $ 175.00 from last year which was deducted from the $ 250 of this year Page 16 • THE POCKET • October, 1992

' •*• k

Tristan Michael Tarringer was born on October 17, 1991, to Michael and Susan Tarringer.

Amanda Rae Mirabella was born on June 22,1992, to Michael and Sally Mirabella.

, J... -J,,

Jonathan A. McGrath ("Jack") was born on February 29,1992, to Laura and Gerry McGrath.

Make sure you don't miss ... The Villanova Court Jester's production of

Neil Simon's PLAZA SUITE

Date: November 5, 6 & 7 Cost: $3 in advance Time: 8:00 P.M. $4 at the door

Harriton High School ,|?05 500 N. Ithan Avenue Rosemont, Pennsylvania 19010 October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 17 iNEWSi Program to Create NAPIL New Public Interest Jobs National Association for John J. Curtin, Jr., former Amber- January; and fellows will com­ Founded in 1986 by a handful dents, employers and educators to Public Interest Law (NAPIL) ican Bar Association (ABA) Pres­ mence work in the fall of 1993. of law students, NAPIL today is honor past achievements, share Announces New Fellowship ident, and Chair of the fellowship Application materials are availa­ a national coalition of 109 grass­ ideas and set a law student public Program to Enable Law project's Board of Directors. ble from law school career place­ roots law student groups working interest agenda. Finally, NAPIL Graduates To Work on "A 1989 American Bar Associ­ ment offices, and NAPIL-affiliated to inspire, prepare and create sponsors a series of regional Behalf of Underserved ation (ABA) survey revealed that law student public interest opportunities for lawyers to ded­ training sessions geared to law Communities. potor people face a staggering 19 groups. icate their professional lives to students, to aid them in their on- In contrast with the recent million civil legal problems annu­ Unlike many fellowship pro­ public service. Our projects campus fundraising efforts. portrayal of lawyers being con­ ally for which there is no legal grams, the Equal Justice Fellow­ include: NAPIL Law Student Member cerned only with making money, help available," stated David ship application materials put Grants and Internships Groups a group of law students and Stern, director of NAPIL's fellow­ forth the selection criteria so that Law students are creating new Full Members prominent lawyers, using over $3 ship project. "Countless others, applicants will be able to describe legal opportunities in public inter­ American EJF, Arizona State million awarded by two federal including consumers, children, their proposals in a meaningful est law by establishing student- OPIL, Boston College PILF, Bos­ judges, have joined forces and are the elderly, whistleblowers, context. In a recent article printed funded fellowship programs. By ton University PIP, Brooklyn leading an effort to bring a corps farmers, individuals of color, in NAPIL's Close-Up, ianeW Byrd, pledging a percentage of their LSPI, Capital PILF, Case Western of bright and talented lawyers to people with AIDS, and institution­ a lawyer with the NAACP Legal summer or post-graduate earn­ Reserve SPILF, Catholic SPIL, underserved communities. alized persons, face a system Defense and Educational Fund, ings, law students and graduates Columbia PILF, Cornell PILU, The National Association for where justice is at best rationed Inc., and chair of the NAPIL provide essential funding for Dickinson PILF, Duke SFF, Emo­ Public Interest Law (NAPIL) has and often denied," Stern said. Fellowships for Equal Justice selec­ summer internships with public ry PIC, Florida State PPS, Ford- launched a unique national fel­ "Thousands of students grad­ tion committee, wrote, "The interest organizations and seed ham SSF, George Mason APIL, lowship program that will fund uate from law school each year Fellowship selection committee money for innovative new pro­ George Washington EJF, George­ lawyers who want to devote up with a desire to devote all or part will look carefully at both the jects. NAPIL was established to town EJF, Golden Gate PILF, to two years advocating on behalf of their careers to public interest person applying and his or her develop and strengthen student- Gonzaga PILP, Harvard SFF, of individuals and communities work, but cannot do so because proposed project. The committee funded fellowship programs Hofstra PJF, Howard PILS, Indi­ that find it difficult, if not impos­ the path to a public interest career will look for three key things in nationwide, and our efforts are ana, Bloomington PILF, Indiana, sible, to obtain legal representa­ is littered with obstacles," added applicants: commitment, quality producing solid results. Supple­ Indianapolis APIL, Lewis & Clark tion. "NAPIL Fellowships for Welch. "In addition to the severe and diversity. In addition, we will mented by NAPIL's law firm PILP, Loyola of Chicago PILS, Equal Justice will enable dedicated shortage in entry-level positions, look favorably upon projects that fundraising campaign, known as Loyola, New Orleans PILG, New attorneys to take their skills many excellent lawyers are pre­ are innovative and involve dis­ "The Public Service Challenge," York Law School PIC, New York straight into the communities vented from taking public interest crete goals." NAPIL member groups last year University PILF, Northeastern where the need for legal services jobs by educational debts — often disbursed more than $1.6 million CISP, Northwestern SFPIF, Notre is most acute," said NAPIL's exceeding $50,000. These debts ABOUT NAPIL in grants to fund more than 600 Dame PILF, Ohio State SFF, Pace Executive Director, Kathleen A. make it impossible for many public interest legal internships PILSO, Pepperdine APIL, Rutgers, Welch. lawyers to accept a job that pays Founded in 1986, the National with legal services offices, civil Newark PILF, Santa Clara PILF, NAPIL Fellowships for Equal an average of $26,000 a year — Association for Public Interest rights organizations, consumer S.U.N.Y. at Buffalo PILP, Syra­ Justice is unique in several ways. no matter how strong their com­ Law is a coalition of student and environmental advocates and cuse GO. The new program is a joint effort mitment to social change." organizations on 110 law school other public interest Also, Tulane PILF, University by a coalition of law students and The NAPIL program will campuses across the country organizations. of Arizona PILO, University of leading attorneys from the federal address these obstacles by funding dedicated to the promotion of Curricular Reform Baltimore SPI, University of judiciary, law firm and corporate new positions at public interest public interest law. In the past six NAPIL advocates curricular Bridgeport PILP, University of communities who serve on the organizations, and providing years, NAPIL student member innovations designed to educate California, Boalt BLF, University project's Board of Directors. Seed grants during the fellowship to organizations have raised more students about the inequities in of California, Davis KHLF, Uni­ money creating NAPIL's project cover lawyers' monthly educa­ than $6 million to fund nearly our legal system and to instill in versity of California, Hastings was provided by two class action tional debt payments. "NAPIL 2,400 summer public interest students a commitment to per­ PILF, University of California, settlement reserve funds. Fellowships for Equal Justice will internships — positions that form pro bono work. In addition, Los Angeles PILF, University of National in scope, NAPIL Fellow­ provide a bridge between talented, would not have existed without NAPIL provides technical assist­ Chicago CLF, University of Con­ ships for Equal Justice will fund dedicated lawyers and the clients the impressive organizing and ance and advice on setting up necticut PILG, University of fellows working on a broad range and communities who desperately fundraising efforts of law stu­ creative volunteer community Denver PILG, University of Flor­ of issues affecting individuals and need their services," said Welch. dents. "Given our success at service projects. ida APIL, University of Georgia groups who cannot afford a law­ "These Equal Justice Fellows creating public interest summer NAPIL Fellowships For Equal EJF, University of Hawaii APIL, yer. In its first year, NAPIL will have life-altering experiences opportunities for law students, Justice University of Illinois PILF, Uni­ Fellowships for Equal Justice will that will remain with them the next logical step was to create NAPIL has established a post­ versity of Iowa EJF, University of fund up to 10 lawyers, making it throughout their careers. Whether new public interest jobs for law­ graduate fellowship program to Maine APIL, University of Mary­ one of the largest public interest these lawyers continue in the non­ yers," said Welch. enable lawyers and graduating land PILP, University of Michigan law fellowship programs in the profit community after their law students to develop and imple­ SFF, University of Missouri, country. Through a national fellowship or become active pro ment innovative public interest Columbia EjF, University of Mon­ fundraising effort, the program bono advocates in the private bar, projects. The first group of Fel­ tana PILC, University of North aims to grow several fold over the we believe their fellowship expe­ 1993 Summer lows will be chosen in January Carolina PILF, University of next few years. riences will make them stalwart 1993. For more information, con­ Oregon LSPIF, University of "Despite a large number of advocates for the profession's Legal tact NAPIL. Pennsylvania EJF, University of lawyers in this country, the legal highest goals of professional Loan Repayment Assistance Pittsburgh PLISF, University of profession is not meeting many responsibility. These lawyers will Employment Loan repayment assistance San Diego MHPILF. legal needs. In the case of the poor, be the next generation of public programs (LRAPs) have been And, University of San Francis­ the vast majority of legal needs service leaders," said Curtin. Guide co PILF, University of South are unmet. Lawyers must recog­ NAPIL will be accepting appli­ developed on 43 law school cam­ Federal Reports, Inc., the puses, and state-wide LRAPs exist Carolina PILS, University of nize this fact and try new strate­ cations from graduating law stu­ Southern California PILF, Uni­ gies. NAPIL Fellowships for Equal dents and lawyers this fall. The nation's leading provider of legal in six jurisdictions. These pro­ career information, announces grams alleviate the debt burden versity of Tennessee APIL, Uni­ Justice is an innovative approach application deadline will be versity of Texas TLF, University that is sure to bring new and November 16,1992; semi-finalists the publication of the 1993 of graduates taking low-paying Summer Legal Employment public interest jobs. In addition, of Virginia SFF, University of highly qualified lawyers to serve will be selected in mid-December; (Continued on page 20) some of the unmet needs," said the fellows will be chosen in mid- Guide. initiatives are currently underway This 13th annual edition of the in several other states and on popular Guide is a directory of the many campuses. NAPIL is contin­ more than 100 U.S. Government uing to work with students, public summer legal internship and interest organizations and bar clerkship programs for law stu­ associations to establish new dents. It also includes comparable LRAPs and to improve existing programs with public internation­ ones. al organizations with which the Public Interest Careers U.S. is affiliated. Both paid and NAPIL assists students and voluntary summer employment career counselors in improving programs in general counsel and public interest placement resour­ other legal offices in all three ces. Our efforts include developing branches of the Federal Govern­ materials and programs for public ment are described. interest career services and advo­ Each Guide entry includes: cating public interest coordina­ tors. NAPIL produces a series of •Application address career services publications that •Salary or stipend are widely distributed on law •Number of positions school campuses. In addition, a •Application deadline national public interest career fair •Program description sponsored jointly by NAPIL and •Eligibility requirements the National Association for Law •Required application forms Placement (NALP) annually draws an attendance of more than The 1993 Guide (32 pp, 8% x 1,200 law students and employers. 11) costs $16.00 and may be Finally, NAPIL offers extensive ordered by check or Visa/Master programming on law school cam­ Card from: Federal Reports, 1010 puses and at NALP conferences. Vermont Avenue NW, Ste 408, Conference and Regional Washington, DC 20005 or by Trainings calling 1-800/296-9611 (toll-free) Each October, NAPIL sponsors or 202/3993-3311 in the Washing­ a National Public Interest Law ton, DC calling area. Student Conference to bring Orders should also include together hundreds of law stu­ $1.00 for postage and handling. Page 18 • THE DOCKET • October. 1992 NEWS Pennsylvania's New Living Will Law: What You Should Know Pennsylvania has adopted a another family member, your ment, this will be acted upon not change the instructions in effect. living will law, giving people the lawyer, your minister, and your when two physicians have your living will. The surrogate How does a living will affect right to legally choose the modern health care facility. declared you to be in an advanced may only make additional deci­ emergency medical services? technology they want employed to Does a living will have to be state of a terminal condition or in sions that do not contradict your The law provides that emergen­ keep them alive. The Advanced the same as the copy shown a state of permanent unconscious­ original instructions. cy personnel will continue to Directive for Health Care Act of in the law? ness. If you have left instruction Will a living will be honored respond to emergency situations 1992 has been hailed by senior No. A living will may, but need that life-sustaining treatment if the declarant is pregnant? as they currently do. If they are citizen groups, the medical com­ not be, in the form shown in the should continue, it will continue. Life-sustaining treatment, nutri­ called upon to transfer a patient munity, the Pennsylvania Bar law. Can someone else change tion and hydration must be pro­ from the hospital to a nursing Association, health care organiza­ Will this legislation encour­ your living will? vided to a pregnant woman who home, hospice or other facility, tions and numerous religious age euthanasia? No. Only you can change your is incompetent and has a terminal they will follow instructions given continents, all of whom played a No. The law specifically states living will. You may change or condition or who is permanently by the medical command part in the development of the that this legislation does not revoke your living will at any time unconscious only if it permits the physician. law. condone, authorize, or approve by notifying your attending phy­ continuing development and live What does the new living will mercy killing, euthanasia, or sician or other health care provid­ birth of the unborn child, as If I already have a living will, law do? aided suicide. er in writing of the change or certified by the attending physi­ what will happen to it under This law establishes a proce­ When will your living will revocation. cian and an obstetrician, does not the new law? dure for a person to execute a take effect? May you appoint someone cause pain to the pregnant wom­ The new law legalizes your document, commonly referred to It will take effect immediately. else to make additional med­ an, and will not be physically document by providing clear and as a living will, directing his or If you have directed your attend­ ical decisions for you? harmful to her. convincing evidence of your her physician to initiate, continue, ing physician to withhold or Yes. However, if you become When she is no longer pregnant wishes. There is no need to change withhold or withdraw life- withdraw life-sustaining treat­ incompetent your surrogate may her living will goes back into it in any way. sustaining medical treatment if the person becomes incompetent and is terminally ill (in an advanced state) or in an irrevers­ ible coma. Who may have a living will? Any individual of sound mind SAMPLE DECLARATION who is 18 years of age or older, or who has graduated from high school, or is married. How are living wills made? I, being of sound mind, willfully and voluntarily make this Qualifying individuals (18 years or older, etc.) may write their own declaration to be followed if I become incompetent. This declaration reflects my firm and living will or have someone else settled commitment to refuse life-sustaining treatment under the circumstances indicated write it on their behalf according to their personal direction. The below. individual (declarant) must sign I direct my attending physician to withhold or withdraw life-sustaining treatment that the document and it must be witnessed by two individuals who serves only to prolong the process of my dying if I should be in a terminal condition or in a are 18 years of age or older. state of permanent unconsciousness. Who should have a copy of your living will? I direct that treatment be limited to measures to keep me comfortable and to relieve pain, Your family physician. You may also want to give a copy to including any pain that might occur by withholding or withdrawing life-sustaining treatment. In addition, if I am in the condition described above, I feel especially strong about the New Director following forms of treatment: I ()do ()do not want cardiac resuscitation. of I ()do ()do not want mechanical respiration. Development I ()do ()do not want tube feeding or any other artificial or invasive form of Samuel T. McClure, New Director of Development at nutrition (food) or hydration (water). Villanova School of Law I ()do ()do not want blood or blood products. Steven P. Frankino, dean of Villanova University School of I () do ()do not want any form of surgery or invasive diagnostic tests. Law, announced that Samuel T. I ()do ()do not want kidney dialysis. McClure has accepted the position of director of development. "Sam I ()do ()do not want antibiotics. comes to us with 26 years of experience in higher education I realize that if I do not specifically indicate my preference regarding any forms of fund raising and a proven record of success at four quality institu­ treatment listed above, I may receive that form of treatment. tions," said Frankino. McClure previously served as Other instructions: vice president for institutional affairs at Assumption College in I () do ()do not want to designate another person as my surrogate to make Worcester, Massachusetts. He medical treatment decisions for me if I should be incompetent and in a was responsible for the college's development, public relations, terminal condition or in a state of permanent unconsciousness. and alumni relations programs. Surrogate: At Assumption College, McClure successfully completed a $3.5 Name Address million library campaign and was engaged in a capital campaign Substitute Surrogate (if the above is unable to serve): with an overall goal of $15 million and he raised more than $8.3 Name Address million before leaving. The initial phase of the campaign included a I made this declaration on the day of $5.35 million recreation complex which is in its final stage. Signature Address Prior to his position at Assump­ tion College, McClure was at the University of Dallas, where he The declarant or the person on behalf of and at the direction of the declarant knowingly was responsible for overall alum­ and voluntarily signed this writing by signature or mark in my presence. ni, development, and public rela­ tions programs. He served at Georgetown University in various development functions from 1976 Witness Signature Witness Address to 1986, including director of corporate and foundation relations and acting director of develop­ ment. From 1966 to 1976 McClure Witness Signature Witness Address served respectively as the annual fund director and as director of development at St. Bonaventure University. This is meant to be a sample to give you an idea of what is required in a Living Will. Anyone drafting a Living Will, who might McClure holds a B.B.A. and have specific questions or who may wish to add provisions which are not addressed in this sample, should contact an attorney. M.A. degree from St. Bonaventure University. He is married and has two children. October, t992« THE DOCKET • Page 19

Villanova University Policy on Sexual Assault For all of its members, Villanova a felony of the second degree, you to seek out the help you need, provide "rape exam­ tal Emergency University seeks to foster and when he engages in sexual inter­ even ifyou feel unready or unwil­ ination" (to gather Room where victim protect a community of mutual course with another person not ling to reveal details of the assault. evidence if the vic­ can receive neces­ respect and concern. There can be his spouse who is less than 14 You can enlist the support of the tim brings charges sary medical servi­ no greater violation of the terms years of age. resources listed below, with or at a later date). The ces and a rape of that community, or of the 3123. INVOLUNTARY without revealing the identity of hospital is obligat­ exam if she essential dignity of any member DEVIATE SEXUAL your assailant, or the details of the ed to notify the chooses. This is of it, than an act of sexual assault. INTERCOURSE dssdult local police that a one of the few on- Villanova's present code of Stu­ A person commits a felony of WHERE YOU CAN GO FOR crime has campus resources dent conduct, with its prohibitions the first degree when he engages HELP occurred, and to available to non­ of disorderly conduct (Section II- in deviate sexual intercourse with Police Department notify Women residential and A), indecent conduct (II-B), dan­ another person: Location: On or off campus Organized Against residential stu­ gerous practices (II-C), physical 1. by forcible compulsion; assaults — Radnor Rape. The victim dents 24 hours a harm (IV-B), and psychological 2. by threat of forcible compul­ Police: 688-0500; may decide wheth­ day. harm (IV-C), already indicates the sion that would prevent Lower Merion: 642- er or not to meet University Counseling Center seriousness of this offense. What resistance by a person of 4200; Haverford: with the represen­ Location: Corr Hall — Room is more, the University's policy on reasonable resolution; 853-2400 tative of the Police 106; Rhone 645- sexual harassment generally for­ 3. who is unconscious; Hours: 24 hours a day Department and of 4050 bids "unwelcome sexual advan­ 4. who is so mentally deranged Service: The police will W.O.A.R., both of Hours: Monday through ces" (IV-D). Thus, the University or deficient that such a person interview the vic­ whom will come to Friday: 9:00 to 5:00 will not tolerate sexual assault in is incapable of consent; or tim and attempt to the hospital. p.m. any form. Where there is reason 5. who is less than 16 years of apprehend the Resident Assistant or Head Available on an to believe that Villanova's regu­ age. assailant if you Resident emergency basis 24 lations prohibiting sexual assault 3124. VOLUNTARY choose to press Location: Your residence hall hours a day. Can be have been violated, the university DEVIATE SEXUAL charges. For Hours: 24 hours a day — called in by any of will pursue strong disciplinary INTERCOURSE assaults far away if you cannot reach the other agencies action through its own channels. A person who engages in deviate from campus, your own R.A., contacted. Should a violation of the Univer­ sexual intercourse under circum­ where the victim seek out another Service: Counselors availa­ sity's rules be found, usual sanc­ stances not covered by section cannot avail her­ R.A. There is ble to help the vic­ tions will result in suspension, or 3123 of this title (related to self of on-campus always a residence tim deal with the expulsion from the University. involuntary deviate sexual inter­ resources, the life staff member immediate crisis Both rape and the attempt at course) is guilty of a misdemeanor police can also on call. and the emotional rape constitute the deepest affront of the second degree. transport her to Service: Support, help con­ impact. Psycholo­ to University standards, and will 3126. INDECENT ASSAULT the closest hospital necting with other gists offer the vic­ be treated accordingly. A person who has indecent equipped to handle resources. R.A. will tim complete confi­ These proscriptions on sexual contact with another not his rape cases. contact adminis­ dentiality. No assault in any form are not limited spouse, or causes such other to Public Safety tration to enlist information dis­ to Villanova students. They apply have indecent contact with him, Location: Any Public Safety their help. You can cussed with the with equal force to any member is guilty of indecent assault, a Officer on campus: choose whether to psychologist will of the Villanova community, and misdemeanor of the second degree, Phone 645-4444 tell the R.A. the be revealed with­ University procedures are in place if: Hours: 24 hours a day assailant's name. out the student's to address violations. 1. he does so without the con­ Service: Public Safety Infirmary permission. A person charged with sexual sent of the other person; would like to have Location: Middleton Hall, Besides helping a assault can be prosecuted under 2. he knows that the other per­ as much informa­ First Floor; Phone student cope with a the Pennsylvania Crimes Code son suffers from a mental tion as possible 645-4070. recent assault, the and disciplined by Villanova Uni­ disease or defect which about the assai- Hours: 24 hours a day Counseling Center , r- -3 /•» versity. Even if criminal justice 'renders him or her'incapabld^^ ISnts; to erfsure a except during can help students authorities choose not to prose­ of appraising the nature of his safe environment school vacations. deal with past trau­ cute, the University can and will or her conduct; Students. It is Service: Infirmary staff can mas, including pursue disciplinary action taking 3. he knows that the other per­ the victim's choice arrange for a trip to assaults in the dis­ into account the wishes of the son is unaware that an inde­ how much is dis­ Bryn Mawr Hospi­ tant past. victime. cent contact is being closed. Public Sexual Assault is: committed; Safety can trans­ 1. Any sexual physical contact 4. he has substantially impaired port the victim to New York University that involves the use or threat the other person's power to Bryn Mawr Hospi­ of force or violence or any appraise or control his or her tal for medical Faculty Experts: other form of coercion or conduct, by administering or treatment, evalua­ intimidation. employing without the knowl­ tion, and possible The Abortion Debate 2. Any sexual physical contact/ edge of the other drugs, intox­ rape examination. indecent contact with another icants, or other means for the They can take the Faye Ginsburg, associate pro­ breaking article, "Rethinking Sex person without that person's purpose of preventing victim's report of fessor of Anthropology and direc­ in the Constitution," which was consent, or any such contact resistance; the assault. The tor, Ethnographic Film and Video the first schola;"ly work to argue with a person who is unable 5. the other person is in custody victim may choose Program, School of Arts and that denying access to abortion- to consent due to incapacity of law or detained in a hos- how much infor­ Science — violated gender equality norms. or impairment, mental or pitalorother institution and mation to disclose. • abortion and cultural politics She has spent more than a decade physical. "Incapacity" or the actor has supervisory or Dean of Students Office • pro-life and pro-choice groups arguing cases before the U.S. "impairment" normally disciplinary authority over Location: Dougherty Hall — Supreme Court and lower courts The author of Contested Lives: on the issue of Medicaid funding includes, but is not limited to, him; or he is over 18 years Room 213; Phone: The Abortion Debate in an Amer­ being under the influence of of age and the other person 645-4200 ican Community (1989), Ginsburg for abortions. Currently, Profes­ alcohol or drugs. is under 14 years of age. Hours: Monday through spent a year in Fargo, North sor Law is one of five people on 3. Any violation of the Pennsyl­ 3127. INDECENT Friday: 9 to 5:00 Dakota, speaking with people (and the board of the new Center for. vania Crimes Codes set forth EXPOSURE p.m. Available on particularly women) on both sides Reproductive Law and Policy, the below. A person commits a misdemea­ an emergency basis country's leading public interest of the issue; the resulting book litigation organization for wom­ The following lists the Penn­ nor of the second degree if, for the 24 hours a day. Can received the Woodrow Wilson/ sylvania Crimes Code statutes on purpose of arousing or gratifying be called in by any Rosenhaupt Book Award, the en's reproductive rights. rape, statutory rape, and indecent sexual desire of himself or of any of the other agen­ To reach Professor Law, call Village Voice Literary Hit List Bill Osborn at (212) 998-6796 assault, etc. Rape includes person other than his spouse, he cies contacted. Award, the Eileen Basker Award "stranger rape" and "acquain­ exposes his genitals under cir­ Service: Can arrange to (office) or (212) 794-1652 (home). for Medical Anthropology, and the Frances Kamm, Professor of tance" or "date" rape (in which cumstances in which he knows have the student Sociology of Culture Award. She the assailant and victim know his conduct is likely to cause placed quickly into and a colleague are currently Philosophy, School of Arts and each other.) affront or alarm. contact with any of editing Conceiving the New World Science — 3121. RAPE WHAT YOU CAN DO FOL­ the above named Order (forthcoming from Univer­ • ethical issues A person commits a felony in LOWING AN ACQUAIN­ offices. Can help • legal decisions sity of California Press), from an The author of Creation and the first degree when he engages TANCE RAPE OR OTHER student pursue the international Wenner-Gren Con­ in sexual intercourse with another SEXUAL ASSAULT case through the ference Ginsberg ran on "The Abortion: A Study in Moral and person not his spouse: Villanova University recognizes University judicial Legal philosophy (Oxford Univer­ Politics of Reproduction in Brazil" sity Press, 1992) Kamm has writ­ 1. by forcible compulsion; that campus sexual assault is a system. Can help, in November 1992. Several recent 2. by threat of forcible compul­ serious, nationally occurring prob­ if the student ten widely on the ethical and legal articles on her research on abor­ philosophy involved in abortion, sion that would prevent lem. The University makes a wishes, to contact tion activists can be found in resistance by a person of strong commitment to prevention, parents. Can Social Research, L'Homme, and euthanasia and other death- reasonable resolution; victim support, and imposition of arrange for excuse Fundamentalisms and the State. related issues in journals such as 3. who is unconscious; or serious sanctions against those from classes, if To reach Professsor Ginsburg Philosophy and Public Affairs, The 4. who is so mentally deranged who violate the policy. Our goal needed. call Susan Wheeler at (212) 998- Journal of Medicine and Philo­ or deficient that such a person is to provide a safe environment Hospital. sophy, The Mt. Sinai Journal of 6838 (office) or (212) 254-3984 Medicine, Bioethics, Philosophical is incapable of consent. that is essential to the pursuit of Location: Bryn Mawr (home). Whenever the term "rape" is learning. Hospital Quarterly and Feminist Studies, used in this title or any other title, The University provides vic­ Emergency Room: Sylvia Law, Professor of Law, for which she also serves on the it is deemed to include spousal tims of sexual assault with several 526-3577 New York University School of editorial board. She is a Rocke­ sexual assault as further defined different types of help which are General Phone: Law — feller Fellow in Human Values at in section 3128(relating to spousal outlined below. 526-3100 • legal issues Princeton University during the sexual assault). Maintaining Privacy and Hours: 24 hours a day • rights of women 1992-93 academic year. 3122. STATUTORY RAPE Control Service: Will attend to vic­ • importance of abortion as a To reach Professor Kamm, call A person who is 18 years of age We recognize your need for tim's medical voter issue Susan Wheeler at (212) 998-6838 or older commits statutory rape, privacy and control. We encourage needs. Will offer to Law is the author of the ground­ (office) or (212) 254-3984 (home). Page 20 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992

1992 Boal Lecture at West's Legal Directory Georgetown Law Center Expands to Include Law New York, Septerrtber 21 — sor Langvardt was also named Students, faculty, and practition­ winner of the 1991 Ladas Memor­ School Student Profiles ers are encouraged to hear Profes­ ial Award, an award given annu­ sor Arlen W. Langvardt, associate ally by the Brand Names Educa­ West Publishing Company now published works, professional "professor of Business Law at tion Foundation to the paper helps law school students with associations, honors and awards, Indiana University, present this judged best on the subject of their job hunt through West's pro bono activities, fraternities year's Boal Memorial Lecture in trademark law or a matter that Legal Director (WLD), a database and sororities, and. working his­ Washington, D.C., at the George­ relates directly to or affects trade­ available on WESTLAW, West's tory. This data will be a valuable town University School of Law, marks. A native of Nebraska, he computer-assisted legal research resource to non-student WES­ Tuesday, October 27. and his wife, Mary, live in Bloo- service. TLAW users (law firms, corpora­ Professor Langvardt's lecture, mington with their son Kyle and West's Legal Directory (WLD), tions, government entities, or "Trademark Rights and First daughter Tara. which identifies lawyers and law educational institutions) respon­ Amendment Wrongs: Protecting Sponsored by the Brand Names firms by specialty areas, clients, sible for hiring new associates. the Former Without Committing Education Foundation (BNEF), professional affiliations and a Law students will be able to the Latter," is scheduled to begin the Boal Memorial Lecture is variety of other information, now access their own profiles for at 4:30 p.m. and will take place dedicated to the memory of R. features biographical profiles of review. In addition, if students in the Moot Court Room, located Bradlee Boal by his friends and law school students nationwide have access to a WESTLaser® at 600 New Jersey Avenue, N.W. partners at the Law Firm of through West's Legal Directory — printer, they will be able to print A wine and cheese reception, free Cooper & Dunham to fulfill his Law Students (WLD-LS). a taser-quality, hard copy resume to both students and faculty, will interest in education, in the field Law school students can list from their WLD profile. be held immediately after the of trademark law. either a Basic Listing or a Profes­ Only West's Legal Directory — lecture. Established by the U.S. Trade­ sional Profile. The Basic Listing Law Student (WLD-LS) offers Professor Langvardt received mark Association, BNEF is a not- will include a student's name, online, professional information his B.A. in 1976 from Hastings for-profit, charitable organization address, law school grade point about law students. It is endorsed College in Nebraska and a J.D. in dedicated to education in the field average, class rank, and under­ by the National Association for 1981 from the University of of trademarks and the advance­ graduate background at no cost. Law Placement (NALP). Nebraska College of Law. Profes­ ment of the brand name concept. At a cost of $25 through June 30, 1993, a law school student can list For more information about a Professional Profile which will West's Legal Directory — Law include Basic Listing information Student (WLD-LS), contact your Student Loan Management Service as well as a student's birth city, local placement office or call 1-800- birth state, foreign languages. 777-7089. Dear Educational Loan You've probably heard of us Take control of your student Borrower: from the Financial Aid Officer at loan debts. Paying back Student Loans can your college. The Network Con­ Network offers a choice of three Philadelphia Firm Wins be tough to handle on a tight solidation Program is offered repayment plans that make it easy budget. A Network Consolida­ through PHEAA, in conjunction and affordable to repay your Regional Job Service tion Loan can pull it all together with your Student Loan Lender, student loans. With a Network into one lower, more manageable and has helped over 27,000 bor­ loan you'll get a fixed 9% interest Award monthly payment. rowers just like you. rate — the lowest rate offered nationally by any Student Loan HARRISBURG (Sept. 16) - of this training, experience and Consolidation Program. The lower The Philadelphia office of the the work habits they have PA's Jobless Rate Falls the rate, the more you save. Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is acquired at IRS." Is Consolidation right for a 1992 recipient of the Pennsyl­ The employees at IRS are to 7.6 Percent in you? vania Employer Advisory Council involved in a number of commun­ If you have at least $5000 in (EAC) Job Creator Award. ity activities, such as the Walk- September Stafford, SLS, Perkins, and/or Labor and Industry Secretary a-thon for the March of Dimes and HPSL Loans, are in grace or Tom Foley will presented the the Scholarship Academic Achieve­ HARRISBURG (October 2) - survey, based upon employer repayment, and are less than 90 award Wednesday, September 23, ment Award Program. However, Pennsylvania's seasonally adjust­ payrolls rather than, households, days delinquent on your Student during the council's 18th annual the project they are most proud ed unemployment rate fell sharply show total nonagricultural wage Loans .:. you qualify. statewide conference at the Nit- of is their "At Risk Seniors" in September by six-tenths per­ and salary jobs were up a net Just call toll free 1-800-338-5000, tany Lion Inn, State College. program. centage point to 7.6 percent, 23,500 from August to 5.02 million Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. The EAC works with the The "At Risk Seniors Program" erasing August's large increase, in September. to 4:30 p.m. EST. Our counselors depcu-tment to improve the servi­ started in February, 1992 at IRS analysts with the state Depart­ The over-the-month increase are waiting to hear from you. ces throughout the statewide with 22 students from Lincoln ment of Labor and Industry reflected strong gains in the Have your student loan informa­ network of one-stop Job Centers. High School who were at risk of announced today. service-producing industries, tion handy — we will send you The 81 EAC chapters statewide, not graduating. The students Resident unemployment also where job levels rose by 28,900 to an application ready for your representing more than 3,500 worked from 8 a.m. to noon. In fell significantly over the month, 3.84 million. With 22,800 addition­ signature. Network counselors employers, also provide a forum the afternoon, current and retired down 40,000 to 456,000. Compared al jobs since August, education- will give you the facts you need to address current, major issues IRS employees volunteered their with September 1991, however, related government was responsi­ to make a smart decision about confronting employers and the own time to assist the students unemployment was up by 48,000. ble for much of the gain. consolidating your education workforce. with reading, math, resume writ­ With youth leaving summer Among goods-producing indus­ debt. In announcing the award, Foley ing, civil service applications, etc. jobs to.return to school having less tries, jobs were down 5,500 in Sincerely, commended the Philadelphia IRS The graduation of 19 of the 22 of an impact than usual, employ­ September to 1.18 million. Losses Randy C. Knapp office for its long history of job students made the first-year pro­ ment in the Commonwealth were centered in construction, Manager, Loan Consolidation creation, job training and commit­ gram a success. improved in September. Up 9,000 w.here payrolls fell by 4,900 since P.S. If you already have a Network ment to community service. Secretary Foley said the to 5.57 million, employment was August. Manufacturing, down Loan in process, share this with "Through the years, IRS has employees of the Philadelphia at its highest level since October 600, also lost jobs over the month a friend. hired and trained thousands of IRS, through their contributions 1991 and set a new September due primarily to a decrease of transcribers, tax examiners and to their community, have set a record. In September 1991, employ­ 1,000 in the durable goods sector. clerical staff. This alone would be high standard other Pennsylvania ment numbered 5.53 million. Partially offsetting this decline a good enough reason to consider employers can strive to meet. The state's civilian labor force was an increase of 400 jobs among _ them for a Job Creator award," Seven other Pennsylvania fell to 6.03 million over the month. nondurables, the only major part said Foley. employers will be honored with Despite a drop of 31,000 from of this sector to post a gain from "In addition, since much of the Job Creator Awards. They are: August's all-time high, this was August to September. work is seasonal, they have Good Quality Sewing Company, still the second largest labor force When compared to September trained thousands of computer NAPIL Inc., Honesdale; DynCorp, Postal count recorded. Compared to one 1991, total nonfarm jobs were transcribers by combining formal Operations Division, York; David year ago, Pennsylvania's civilian down 67,900. Only the services (Continued from page 17) training with a great deal of on- J. Thompson Mailing Corporation, labor force increased by 95,000. industry, up 7,500, had more jobs Wisconsin PILF, Vanderbilt PISF, the-job training. Many of these Bloomsburg: Target Sportswear, Early results from another this September than a year before. Vermont EJF, Washburn APIL, trainees have gone on to find well- Inc., Clearfield; Washington Steel Washington University PBLA, paying, meaningful jobs in the Corporation, Washington; ARC West Virginia FLPI, Whittier private sector. As employees, they Enterprises, Inc., Warren; Spe­ PA (SEASONALLY ADJUSTED)* SEP. 1992 AUG. 1992 SEP. 1991 PILF, William and Mary PSF and have been highly sought because cialty Records, Olyphant. Labor Force 6,030,000 6,061,000 5,935,000 Yale Initiative for PIL & SEE. Employment 5,574,000 . 5,565,000 5,527,000 Associate Members Unemployment 456,000 496,000 408,000 Brigham Young PILI, California Rate 7.6 pet. 8.2 pet. 6.9 pet. Western APIL, DePaul PILA, John (U.S. Rate) 7.5 pet. 7.6pct. 6.8 pet. Marshall PILC, New England School of Law PILF, Rutgers- PA (UNADJUSTED) SEP. 1992 AUG. 1992 SEP. 1991 Camden APIL, Seton Hall PILF, Labor Force 6,004,000 6,082,000 5,915,000 Southwestern PILF, Stetson PSF, Employment 5,585,000 5,627,000 5,542,000 Touro PILOT, University of Mia­ Unemployment 419,000 455,000' 373,000 mi PILG, University of Mississippi Rate 7.0 pet. . 7.5 pet. 6.3 pet. PILC, University of Missouri, (U.S. Rate) 7.2 pet. 7.3 pet. 6.4 pet. Kansas City PILF, University of Utah PILO and Valparaiso EJA. Project Affiliates * NOTE: Seasonally adjusted fig­ employment data, contact the Franklin Pierce PIC, IIT ures attempt to "filter out" the Labor and Industry Press Office. Chicago-Kent PILF, Minnesota labor market fluctuations which Local and regional information for Justice Foundation, Nova PILON, are caused by normal seasonal August is available from Labor Saint Louis PILG, Temple AJC, patterns. With these recurring and Industry's regional labor University of Houston PILO, patterns removed, the data pro­ market analysts. Regional ana­ University of Nebraska, Lincoln vide a more accurate account of lysts' names and phone numbers EJF, University of the Pacific general economic trends. may be obtained from the nearest PLSS, University of Toledo For additional information on state Job Center or from the L&I SPILE, Villanova PILS and Wake the September Pennsylvania Press Office (717-787-7530). Forest PILO. October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 21

Heeeeere's Johnny! Joe Shmoe Another hockey season is upon front. The defensemen acquired some fun. Too bad I don't know give the students a 2-0 lead. Art us, and with it comes my picks from the Flyers will help, as will any of them, eh? We all know that Carine wasted little time bringing on and prognostications. Will the goalie Ron Hextall, if he can stay it's the playoffs that count, right? in another two runs to give the Penguins make it three in a row? out of the hospital and out of So, maybe then I'll care enough "Dream Team" a 4-0 cushion. Is this finally the year of the trouble. to write something substantial. Professor Palm (the losing Sports Rangers? Will Detroit go down in 6. Ottawa Senators — Are you Rubgy pitcher) led off the second with a flames if the Red Wings take the joking? Who? This pack of kids This club has no trouble getting massive 500 foot homer to right by Joseph Marques Cup? What ever happened to that and castoffs will be hard pressed people to voluntarily sacrifice field to cut it to 4-1. The profs October signals the end of lovable alien, Alf? How come on to win games in their first season. their limbs and private parts for would not strike again until the baseball and the beginning of the the old TV series Batman, the Even their logo is ugly. Be afraid. the school. They defeated the fifth inning, shut down by Jeff most exciting sport on the face of villians didn't just shoot the Be very afraid. Villanova undergrads in their Bosley's brilliant pitching perfor­ the earth: Hockey (not too hyper­ dynamic duo in the head instead (Chuck) NORRIS DIVISION (OK, first official warm-up. Rugby mance. The students removed any bolic). I guess you've realized that of giving them a whole episode to OK, I'm no Chris Berman) games are good fun, and if you go , thoughts of a faculty comeback by it's my favorite sport and it should try and find a way out of some 1. Detroit Red Wings — the best to see a game, you may get to play getting 3 more runs in the second, be yours, too. End-to-end high incredibly inane trap? Will I ever in the division, with Yzerman, due to large amounts of injuries highlighted by homers by Will speed action, bone-jarring body stop asking questions and get to Federov, Ciccarelli, Ysebaert (I incurred during a game. If blood Greene and Charlie McElfresh. checks, nose-splitting fisticuffs, the *&Brett Hull, They beat two first year squads, Bosley with a double, and Tom .eh.. .humankind (more hyper­ team to beat. If they don't win, the scoring machine, will light up IL's and JNOV's. The Young "The Conservative Guy" Dough­ bole). Why? Because I need a expect some riots. Make that on opposing teams again. The Guns also advanced with two erty drove in Delia Franco in with hobby. So, let's talk hockey. many. defense is OK, and Curtis Joseph wins, over the rugby, er, Hanson a single. It was 12-1 after four. But NHL Preview 2. Pittsburgh Penguins — Not is a good, young goalie. Still, only Brothers and One and Done. Baby the carnage was far from over. *Note: the first four teams in each really known as a regular season a middle of the pack club. Got Back kept pace with victories Professor Palm seemed as division qualify for the playoffs. team, they seem to pick it up in 4. Minnesota North Stars — over LWA and Still Chuckin' and though he had seen enough, and Patrick Division the playoffs. Super Mario, Jaromir The offense is weak, the defense Suckin'. Teams who played two led off the fifth with another 1. N.Y. Rangers — Last year the Jagr, and Kevin Stevens give the doesn't help by scoring many and lost them in this double- towering shot. He easily could . Rangers were the best team in the Pens plenty of punch. The defense goals, and the goalies don't help elimination were an under­ have scored, but using somewhat NHL. (Am I biased? Yes. Am I and goaltending will have to by preventing many. But I like manned Downey with O.P.P., strange strategy, instead settled exaggerating? no). Four solid overachieve again to win it all. their jerseys, and they have a guy LWA, the all-women club, and the for a triple. It didn't matter as lines, five 30-t- goal scorers (Mess­ 3. Washington Capitals — The named Enrico Ciccone. What's Hanson Brothers. Those who Professor Hyson, the next batter, ier, Gartner, Turcotte, Amonte, "National Defense" is solid with not to like? were still alive with one loss singled to make it 12-2. The and Nemchinov), two outstanding lafrate. Hatcher, Langway et al. 5. Toronto Maple Leafs — They included three first year squads, students decided to stop the offensive defensemen (Leetch and on the back line. Scoring could be could challenge for the fourth (the ILs, JNOV's and Scrap 1st faculty celebration and pulled off Patrick), two solid goalies (Richter a problem, with last year's leading spot. Their D and goaltending is Years) along with the Pack, One a beautiful double play, making all and Vanbeisbrouck), and the best goal scorer, Dino Ciccarelli, saying better, their 0 isn't. As in, 0 no. and Done and Still Chuckin'. I'll the faculty fans head for the exits, leader in professional sports, ciao. They still can cause trouble 6. Tampa Bay Lightning — keep you posted as to who wins to avoid any post-game traffic. Mark Messier. This year, howev­ for teams though. Another newcomer to the league, the whole thing next time. My bet: The students got two more runs er, things will be different. They 4. New Jersey Devils — Herb they'll get their clocks cleaned and the Flab Five over the Young to the inning, with RBI's by Noel will be better. Last year they were Brooks takes over as coach of like it. But they actually tried out Guns in the final. Birle and Tom Downey. missing one more solid defense- Team International. The addition a women goalie for the team, and Third Annual StuderU/ man and another scorer at right of Bobby Holik will lead to more she looked pretty good. And she Faculty Softball Game The faculty half ofthe sixth was wing. Well, this year nothing is scoring. The defense is strong could play, too. (Saw that one On a beautiful and warm Octob­ uneventful, except for Professor missing. Swedish import Peter with Scott Stevens leading the coming, eh?) er 2, the third annual Student/ Sirico's single. The hit was his Andersson will bolster the blue way. This team could go far in (Patty) SMYTHE DIVISION Faculty softball game took place. first in a decade. He was so excited line while Russian import Alexei the playoffs if Brooks gets them (didn't think I could do it, did you?) The faculty should have prayed he tripped over the bag, getting Kovalev will roam the right wing. to speak the same language. 1. Vancouver Canucks — Last for rain. a 3.0 from the German judge. The These additions to an already 5. New York Islanders — These year was no fluke. They can score The students took out their students piled on another three exceptional team will ensure a guys can put the puck in the net. (Trevor Linden, Pavel Bure, Greg academic frustrations on the profs runs, making all of the female , first place finish for the second Five 30 goal scorers back up that Adams, etc.) and have a stingy and hammered them, 17-2. The faculty cry in bitter frustration. straight year. An admirable statement. The defense and goal- defense. Goalie Kirk McLean is student "Dream Team" showed The faculty, obviously disappoint­ accomplishment considering the tending aren't bad. They could reeeealy good. But they won't no mercy, scoring four runs in the ed and wanting to go home, went Patrick Division is arguably the surprise and return to the playoffs surprise any one this year. first after the profs went down down quietly in the seventh to end best division in professional for the first time since '89-90. 2. Edmonton Oilers — Goalie 1,2,3. Perhaps the stirring rendi­ the game. The students now lead sports. So why not just hand the Then again, maybe not. How's Bill Ranford alone makes them a tion of the Star-Spangled Banner, the series between the two teams Rangers the Stanley Cup on open­ that for being fine? playoff team. They have a good sung by Professor Dowd, gave 24-0, including any and all pickup ing night? Well, an 84 game 6. Philadelphia Flyers — Sorry, first line on offense, but they lack them the added adrenaline. games. The profs are seriously regular season isn't enough, it's Flyer fans. Yes, they have won- depth. The defense is like expired Dowd's singing had everyone on considering making some roster the 16 playoff wins that mean the . derkid Eric Lindros. Yes, they milk — suspect. their feet (of course, the fact that changes for next year's game. most. After 50 plus years without have Mark Recchi, Rod "I adore" 3. Los Angeles Kings — With there were no chairs may have Expect some major trades in the a Stanley Cup, Ranger fans know Brind'Amour, and Kevin Dineen the Great Gretzky out, others like had something to do with it). The near future. It seems as though that the last 16 are by far the to score, score, score. But yes, they Luc Robitaille, Thomas Sand- students started their barrage of Professor Palm is the only toughest. have a hole the size of the sun on strom, and Paul Coffey will have hits with a leadoff double by yours untouchable, and may escape the 2. Pittsburgh Penguins — A defense, and they're starting to pick it up. With a healthy truly. Mike Green drove me and doom of playing for the Penn Law mediocre team for 80 games, but virtual rookies in net. Not this Gretzky and better defense, they John Forkin in with a single to School faculty. boy do Super Mario and Company could have finished much higher. year. Or next. (Continued on page 22) (Samuel) ADAMS DIVISION (you But they don't, so they won't. know, the beer) 4. Calgary Flames — It pains 1. Montreal Canadiens — I'm me to put these guys in fourth, going out on a limb, aren't I? The but they just didn't do'; last year Habs always seem to finish first. (I picked them and the Devils to Goalie Patrick Roy is numero uno vie for the Stanley Cup last year. in the league, as is the defense in Ouch.) They have talent, but the front of him. Now, if they could defense needs help. Now. only go to Pat Sajak and buy a 5. Winnipeg Jets — These guys goal now and then ... can fly (no pun intended this 2. Buffalo Sabres — Headed by time). They have fast skaters on Pat LaFontaine, Pierre Turgeon, D, but the offense has trouble Alexander (I call him "Alex") flashing the red light. Road trips Mogilny, the Sabres don't lack aren't that bad — after all, they're offense. I3ut the defensemen aren't leaving Winnipeg. speedsters, and there's a question 6. San Jose Sharks — Really mark about the goaltending — cool jerseys. Talent-wise the like, who? goalies are actually OK, and Pat 3. Boston Bruins — Fans hope Falloon can put it between the they'll be hearing "Neely with the pipes. After that, there's little — goal, the assist by Oates" a lot this just like their number of wins. year. If they do, and the youngs­ Intramural Softball ters develop, the Garden will be Has anyone been keeping track rocking. Andy Moog is solid in net. of this league? Has anyone been 4. Hartford Whalers — They playing? It seems like the weather, always finish fourth. Always. lack of interest, classes (classes?), Really. Trust me. Problems — the Tim Bryant Invitational, er, scoring, defense, goaltending. I mean the basketball tournament, Strengths — the two teams under and the alignment of Mars with them. one of Jupiter's moons has kept (ts* ;™s*pr •—ts 5. Quebec Nordiques — Up and some teams from playing. Still, I coming, with talent like Joe Sakic, know there's actually a couple of Students riveted by the faculty-student softball game. Owen Nolan and Mats Sondin up teams who have behaved and had Page 22 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992 Joe Shmoe on Sports Continued . . . (Continued from page 21) Patrick Division Champ: beens and nobodys. This may be Lightning start out with some season or perhaps end his career, turn it up a notch during the N.Y. Rangers the worst team in NHL history. talent on defense and plenty of then look for the Kings to finish playoffs. Yes, Mario Lemieux is Look for it to challenge the NHL grinding types at forward. This fourth. Even with a healthy the best player in the world (not Adams Division record for fewest points in a translates into tight checking Gretzky this team is heading in hyperbolic). Who else could carry 1. Buffalo Sabres —Surprised season. This team won't score, it games where Tampa Bay has a the wrong direction. a team to two straight Stanley that I'm picking the Sabres to win won't stop the opposition from chance to pull out the odd victory. 4. Winnipeg Jets — This team Cups? Of course, he has a fine the Adams? So am I. I couldn't scoring, it won't win. At least the I said competitive, not good. is loaded with very talented defen­ supporting cast but Mario is the resist, look at the offense. LaFon­ Senators will emulate their name­ semen. The Jets have three of the man. His domination is awe inspir­ taine, Adreychuk, Mogilny, and sake and bounce some checks (oh, Norris Division Champ: best skating defensemen around ing. He seems like he can score Hawerchuk. That's four team­ that's bad). Detroit Red Wings in Housely, Olausson, and Num- at will. But oh that aching back. mates with over 84 points each in minen. Bob Essensa and Rick One wrong twist and the Pen- a division with only a handful of Adams Division Champ: Smythe Division Tabaracci make a solid goaltend­ gums' franchise is in trouble. 80 + point scorers. That should Buffalo Sabres 1. Vancouver Canucks — This ing tandem. The problem is a lack With Mario the Penguins are be plenty of fire power to win a team is packed with young talent of scoring from the forwards. The laudable, but without him they're division with declining powers Norris Division on offense and in goal. The defense Jets will challenge the Kings for laughable. A healthy Mario means (Boston and Montreal), perennial 1. Detroit Red Wings — This is solid but aging. The Canucks third if Gretzky is out for any second place for the Pens and losers (Quebec and Hartford), and team is the second best team in are poised to rule the roost in the substantial period. another shot at Lord Stanley's an awful addition (Ottawa). The hockey and will challenge for the Smythe for the next several years 5. Calgary Flames — Poor Cup. major question mark for the Stanley Cup. The Red Wings are (the once mighty Smythe is not trades, lack of defensive depth, 3. Washington Capitals — This Sabres is the defense, not very talented and deep at every position what it used to be). The Canucks and poor team chemistry have is a very good hockey team. mobile and not very young. High except goaltender. They boast could use another big center and reduced the Flames to a mere Talented on defense, well bal­ scoring teams have a way of three top notch centers in Yzer- an offensive minded defenseman. flicker. This team lacks a play- anced on offense, and always obscuring a weak defense (see the man, Fedorov, and Carson. At the Until then, don't expect Vancouv­ maker at center in a division ready to grind it out. There are Penguins). wings Sheppard, Ysebaert, and er to seriously contend for the known for its wide-open high- not superstars on the Caps, just 2. Montreal Canadiens — New newly acquired Dino Ciccarelli Cup. scoring games. Not good. The many solid hockey players. The coach Jaques Demers has vowed provide the scoring while Probert 2. Edmonton Oilers — Can you future looks even worse. There new rules (cracking down on to abandon the dull defensive style and Burr provide the punch. say Dynasty? Still a top echelon isn't much young talent on this clutching, grabbing, and hooking of past Canadiens' teams. He Second year pro Nicklas Lidstrom team after winning 5 Stanley team. How long before the Sharks away from the puck) will have the wants to open things up and score leads a solid defensive crew. The Cups. Savvy Glenn Sather traded swallow the Flames? Years, how­ greatest impact on this team. The a little more. Is he nuts? The weak link, goalie Tim Cheveldae. away several of the Oilers' future ever, the Sharks will be Cup Capital's are the best "cheaters" prerequisite to scoring in offensive He's not a money goalie and that's Hall of Famers while they were contenders before the Flames in the league. Their philosophy is: talent. The Canadiens' offense is what the Wings need to move to still in their prime. He also kept (Ouch! that burns). If you can't skate or shoot, then offensive. The best offensive the next level. some of the very productive 6. San Jose Sharks — The you can't score. It's worked so far. ability on this team may lie in the 2. Chicago Blackhawks — The unsung heroes of the Cup winning Sharks were more like guppies in How else do you explain last young and talented defensive Hawks are a solid offensive and teams. This has paid great divi­ their first NHL campaign. They year's 98 points with Don Beaupre corps. Not enough, however, to defensive team with an outstand­ dends, keeping a fine mixture of didn't do much of anything well. in goal. He hardly ever faces any run and gun with the Penguins, ing goaltender. The problem is veteran leadership and young But hey, the season is 4 games rebound shots. A large barrel can Sabres, Red Wings, and Rangers, that they lack scoring punch talent. The Oilers remain very longer this year, so who knows, stop first shots, it's rebound shots just to name a few. Tight checking behind the exceptional Jeremy competitive now and for the the Sharks may shatter the team that determine the game. The new is not a choice, it's a necessity if Roenick. Many of the key offensive future. record for victories and win over rules will spell more goals against the Habs want to challenge for the and defensive players on the 3. Los Angeles Kings — The 18 games (after notching 17 last and land the Caps in third place. division. This new offensive style Hawks are nearing the end of their Kings tried to recapture some year). Give them time, by the turn Too bad they're in this division. will drop the Habs to second place careers. Unless the Blackhawks Oiler magic by reuniting Gretzky, of the Century, they should be They'll take third place and prob­ this year, maybe even third if the get an influx of some young talent, Kurri, and Coffey. Unfortunately, very good. ably will be 5th overall. Bruins get a healthy Cam Neely they're destined to spiral downw­ much of the magic was gone. 4. N.Y. Islanders — It's back to back at full strength. ard in the division. Although the talent was still Smythe Division Champ: the playoffs for A1 Arbour's bunch. 3. Boston Bruins — The Bruins 3. St. Louis Blues — Brett Hull evident it seems the competitive Vancouver Canucks Bill Torrey made some smart will have to outwork many more is the lone star on this team once fire is not what it once was. Along swaps in his final year as GM, talented opponents to win consist­ thought to be destined for great­ the way the Kings traded away Stanley Cup Finals: N.Y. leaving a solid team along with ently. The key is the team defense, ness. Only two years removed much of its young talent in order Rangers vs. Detroit Red a legacy of four Stanley Cups. He led by Ray Borque, the best all- from a 100+ point season, the to win now. The result is an aging Wings parlayed Pat LaFontaine and around defenseman in the game. Blues are merely a shadow of that team without a young nucleus to Stanley Cup Champ: N.Y. Brent Sutter into six quality Solid defense along with the team. The Blues were first victim­ build around. If Gretzky's back Rangers (Yes, the 50 + year jinx NHLer's. This team has two solid return of goal machine. Cam ized by a bizarre arbitration problem forces him to miss the will be over!) scoring lines, adequate defense, Neely, could see the Bruins chal­ award. Scott Stevens, the heart and decent goaltending. They are lenge the Habs for second place. of the Blues' defense, was awarded far from Cup contenders but they Third place, however, seems more to the Devils as compensation for are in the top half of the league. probable because of the Bruins the Blues signing of forward Not bad for a team that was lack of offensive punch. After Brendan Shannahan. The Devils woeful only two years ago. Adam Oates, Neely, Rosie got one of the top 5 defenseman 5.N.J. Devils — The Devils will Ruzicka, and Borque, the scoring in the league for an above average miss the playoffs this season. burden lies on many unproven player. To add insult to injury the They're too thin at center ice for young players. Blues shot themselves in the foot a division loaded at that position. 4. Quebec Nordiques — The in a trade that sent several talent­ The Devils have some good young Lindros trade returned enough ed players to Vancouver for the prospects at center but boast the warm bodies to add depth at immortal Garth Butcher. Add to aging Peter Stastny as their lone forward, defense, and goaltender. that the trade of Hull's best friend veteran pivotman. The wings are This added depth along with a and set up man Adam Oates to a different story. The Devils' talented young nucleus of Joe Boston for the lesser talented wings can score goals in bunches, Sakic, Owen Nolan, and Mats Craig Janney. A trade precipitated too bad there isn't anyone to set Sundin will spell a return to the by Oates' contract demands. The them up. The Devils, do have the playoffs for the Nordiques. The result of all this is a team in best corps of Defensemen in the playoffs won't hold much glory for shambles. You know, this organ­ league, led by Scott Stevens. This the Nordiques but the experience ization reminds me of the Hartford will keep them out of last place will be a taste of better days for Whalers. in the division. Remember fifth this up and coming squad. 4. Minnesota North Stars — place in the Patrick can still mean 5. Hartford Whalers — Have The Stars are at cross-roads. It's 13th or 14th overall. Considering you ever seen a team mired in time for the young talent on this 16 teams make the playoffs, it's such mediocrity? The Whalers team to assert itself and bring the clear that the system isn't never win. A good example of why Stars to the next level. This team designed to include the best 16 is the trade of budding star Bobby showed flashes of brilliance in the teams. Holik for the enigmatic and over­ Cup finals two years ago against 6. Philadelphia Flyers — Last rated goaltender Sean Burke. The the Penguins. The mix of young place with Lindros, how? Before trade with the Penguins two talent and crafty veteran leader­ the hockey gods anoint him and seasons ago was another doozy. ship is still here, what's missing he enters the NHL Hall of Fame, Didn't Hartford realize that John is the intensity. The Starrs need he has to score his first NHL goal. Cullen scored 100 points because to turn it up and start the climb The reason for the sarcasm? I'm Mario Lemieux drew the opposing in a division that should be ripe tired of the comparisons between teams' toughest checking line for the taking in two or three Lindros and Mario Lemieux. Lin­ every night? Of course not, this years. dros will be an outstanding hockey organization is clueless. I guess 5. Toronto Maple Leafs — The player. He is tough, talented, and increasing attendance by improv­ Leafs have one good line, decent intimidating. Every year he will ing the product is not an organ­ defense, solid goaltending, and a score around 50 goals and 60 izational aim. Enough front office new coach. Sounds like a lot but assists. Impressive numbers? Yes, bashing. As for the teams' offense, it isn't. The Leafs should improve star numbers? Yes, Mario defense, and goaltending, onee a little this year, although beating numbers? No. Mario can do that word — mediocre. The best thing the expansion lightning nine in 60 games. Mario Lemieux is one about the Whalers is the expan­ times really shouldn't count. New of the most gifted players to ever sion Ottawa Senators, it keeps coach Pat Burns, a hard-nosed play the game of hockey. Let's see them out of last place. disciplinarian, will crack his Lindros score at least one goal 6. Ottawa Senators — Welcome whip. The Leafs may be losers but before we consider him the same. to the NHL. Now, get ready to they'll be well disciplined losers. As for the rest of the Flyers, ot finish in last place for a long time. 6. Tampa Bay Lightning — much scoring after Lindros, Rec- The good news is you get many The Lightning will be competitive chi, Brind'Amour, and Dineen. early first round draft picks. Just for an expansion team. Sure, Tlje defense is weak and the goalie a word of advice, don't use the they'll finish in last place but GM is'inexperienced. Last place with Whalers' organization as a model. Phil Esposito did a good job Lindros? You betcha. This team is loaded with has- building this new team. The October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 23 SPORTS RUGBY!

Fifteen lawyers-to-be running around in shorts, diving in the mud and fighting for a white swollen football might not sound SCHEDULE like fun for most, but for the VLS Rugby Team, it is the greatest SEPT. 18 VILLANOVA 4PM WON escape possible from law school life. In what is supposed to be SEPT. 26 TEMPLE MED 1PM WON back-stabbing, get-ahead-at-all- OCT. 3 AT PENN LAW 1PM costs community, these sports­ OCT. 10 AT P.C.O.M. 3PM men get to work together in what is arguably the most team- OCT. 17 BYE oriented sport in the country.'The OCT. 24 AT JEFF MED 1PM idea is simple: run the ball through OCT. 31^ WHARTON 1PM the other team's territory without NOV. 7 TEMPLE LAW 1PM being tackled and touch it down in the Try Zone (End Zone). The VLS Team has been doing this quite well this season with victories over the Villanova Undergrads and Temple Med. The team remains undefeated since beating Wharton Business School last Spring. This season of glor­ ified maul ball will continue through October and into November (See schedule below). Now is the time for third year rugby players to sit back and smirk. Their team is on fire, and the future looks great. They remember when rugby practice was scheduled around intramural Softball. Today, they are worried about losing their starting posi­ tions. Off the fieW, the team is just • as strong, and just as dedicated. Consider 100% true propaganda; RUGBY PROPAGANDA "The School of Law Rugby Club is dedicated to fostering commun­ ity spirit while representing Vil­ lanova in outside athletic compe­ titions with- pride ..and

—1992 VLS Graduation Program — Nearly 30 years ago. Dean Reuschlein, the Law School's founding dean, appointed Prof. Dowd, today's senior member of the faculty, to be the Rugby Advisor. — The percentage of players on Law Review and-the Envir­ onmental Law Journal is far • greater than that of the Law School as a whole. — Rugby representation on S.B.A. is not only disproportionately large, but has included the Vice-President and Secretary and currently the Treasurer and Organizations Liaison. — The Club's membership includes the Chair and Vice- Chair of the Honor Board. — The list of former rugby play­ ers includes: Dean Brogan's husband, Jim Brogan (Villano­ va Law), Gov. Bill Clinton (Oxford) and Pope John Paul II (Poland). — Being sensitive guys, we hold an annual Valentine's Day love-note fundraiser. — The Rugby Team co-sponsors an annual joint forum with the Women's Law Caucus entitled "Miscommunication Between the SGX6S. — The VLS Rugby blood drive to support our troops in the Gulf War has now become an annual event cosponsored by the S.B.A. — The Rugby Team raised a siibstantial amount of money to help our own VLS hero, Mark Berkner, make it to Barcelona to row in the Olympics. — The employment rate of rugby players upon graduation is traditionally greater than the class as a whole. The network is nothing to be mocked. — First year Ruggers tend to receive tremendous assistance from their 2nd and 3rd year teammates. — Beer. Page 24 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992 f

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.Vi« October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 25 SOFTBALL Page 26 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992

American Bar Association Standing Committee on World Order Under Law REPORT sistent with the Charter which would include, among Big Carrot: Linking Multilater­ to consult on arms transfers; With the end of the conflict in of the United Nations or others, Brazil, Belgium, the Czech al Disarmament and Develop­ consult on an ad hoc basis if a the Gulf, and the collapse of the requested by the United and Slovak Republic, India, Israel, ment Assistance, 91 Columbia supplier believed guidelines were Cold War, a number of comment­ Nations. and North and South Korea. Law Review 993 (IMl). not being observed; and provide 2. They will avoid transfers Eventually, the participation in This would especially be the case ators have suggested that now is with France, which sells close to one another with an annual report an ideal time to pursue new which would be likely to: these meetings should be • 50 percent of the arms it manufac­ on transfers. initiatives towards control of the (a) prolong or aggravate an expanded to include the principal tures abroad. See, Andrew J. sale and transfer of conventional existing armed conflict; purchasers as well. Pierre, The Prospects for Arms MISSILES weapons to the Middle East and (b) increase tension in a General Assembly Resolution Transfer Controls, Arms Control The initiative proposes a freeze other volatile regions of the region or contribute to 46/36 L requests member states Today, June 1991, at 23. on the acquisition, production, world.' In support of this propo­ regional instability; to submit information regarding and testing of surface-to-surface sition these commentators argue, (c) introduce destabilizing their annual arms transfers each RELEASE FROM THE WHITE missiles by states in the region inter alia, that Iraq's massive military capabilities in a year on April 30. The resolution HOUSE with a view to the ultimate elim­ arms build-up prior to the conflict region; also invites member states to OFFICE OF THE PRESS ination of such missiles from their in the Gulf demonstrates the folly (d) contravene embargoes or provide the Secretary-General SECRETARY arsenals. of conventional arms sales that other relevant interna­ with their views, not later than — Suppliers would also step up allow a state to arm itself to a tionally agreed restraints April 30,1994, on (1) the operation KENNEBUNKPORT, MAINE efforts to coordinate export licens­ degree that far exceeds any leg­ to which they are parties; of the register during its first two ing for equipment, technology and itimate defense needs and that the (e) be used other than for years; and (2) the desirability of FACT SHEET ON MIDDLE services that could be used to end of the Cold War has eliminated legitimate defense and adding further categories of equip­ EAST manufacture surface-to-surface a major motivation for arms sales security needs of the ment and expanding the register ARMS CONTROL INITIATIVE missiles. Export licenses would be and has highlighted the need for recipient state; to include military holdings and provided only for peaceful end multilateral arms control, encom­ (f) support or encourage procurement through national WEDNESDAY, MAY 29,1991 uses. passing all states. international terrorism; production. The United States Fulfilling the pledge he made in On May 29, 1991, in a com­ (g) be used to interfere with Government should strongly his March 6 address to a joint NUCLEAR WEAPONS mencement address at the Air the internal affairs of encourage, through the Confer­ session of Congress, the President The initiative builds on existing Force Academy in Colorado sovereign states; ence on Disarmament, the Disar­ announced today a series of prop­ institutions and focuses on activ­ Springs, President George Bush (h) seriously undermine the mament Commission, or other osals intended to curb the spread ities directly related to nuclear presented a proposal that calls for recipient state's appropriate UN forums, member of nuclear, chemical and biological weapons capability. The initiative the "eventual creation" of a economy." states to comply fully with this weapons in the Middle East, as would call on regional states to regional nuclear-weapons-free A major multilateral initiative request and invitation. well as the missiles that can implement a verifiable ban on the zone in Middle East, a ban on was taken by the United Nations The substantial sums of money deliver them. The proposals also production and acquisition of surface-to-surface missiles, and General Assembly when, on spent on the purchase of conven­ seek to restrain destabilizing weapons-usable nuclear material prohibitions against the posses­ December 9, 1991, it adopted tional weapons represent, from an conventional arms build-ups in (enriched uranium or separated sion or use of chemical and bio­ Resolution 46/36 L.^ By this economic perspective, a serious the region. Plutonium); reiterate our call on logical weapons, and that suggests resolution the Assembly estab­ misallocation of resources, espe­ The proposals would apply to all states in the region that have that the five major suppliers of lished a United Nations register cially for the developing countries. the entire Middle East, including not already done so to accede to conventional weapons — France, of arms transfers and called upon Accordingly, the U.S. Government Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, Egypt, the Non-Proliferation Treaty; China, Britain, the United States member states to provide informa­ should encourage such multilat­ Lebanon, Israel, Jordan, Saudi reiterate our call to place all and the former Soviet Union (now tion to the Secretary-General eral aid agencies as the Interna­ Arabia, and the other states of the nuclear facilities in the region principally Russia) — meet at regarding their transfers of con­ tional Monetary Fund and the Maghreb and the Gulf Coopera­ under International Atomic senior levels in the near future to ventional arms. The register will International Bank for Recon­ tion Council. They reflect our Energy Agency safeguards; and discuss the establishment of initially apply only to sales of struction and Development to consultations with allies, govern­ continue to support the eventual guidelines for restraints on des­ heavy arms, e.g., tanks, armored take into consideration in deci­ ments in the region, and key creation of a regional nuclear tabilizing transfers of convention­ fighting vehicles, artillery pieces, sions on the grant of aid the level suppliers of arms and technology. weapon-free zone. al arms, as well as weapons of combat aircraft, and attack helic­ of military expenditure in the The support of both arms expor­ mass destruction and associated opters, that can be used to seize applicant state.® ters and importers will be essen­ CHEMICAL WEAPONS technology. According to the and hold territory. A substantial decline in arms tial to the success of the initiative. The proposal will build on the White House fact sheet^ released The goal of the register is to sales would create, at least in the Since proliferation is a global President's recent initiative to the day of the President's speech, limit the international traffic in short term, economic problems for problem, it must find a global achieve early completion of the the guidelines would permit states arms by publicizing transactions those countries with arms indus­ solution. At the same time, the global Chemical Weapons in the region to acquire the "con­ and identifying potential trouble tries heavily dependent on export current situation in the Middle Convention. ventional capabilities they legiti­ spots by showing where arms sales.'" The U.S. Government East poses unique dangers and — The initiative calls for all mately need to deter and defend stocks are increasing. The reso­ should therefore support steps, in opportunities. Thus, the Presi­ states in the region to commit t6 against military aggression." The lution also requests the Secretary- the United Nations and other dent's proposal will concentrate becoming original parties to the fact sheet also indicated that the General to establish a group of forums, to ease these problems on the Middle East as its starting Convention. discussions would be expanded to experts to explore ways of extend­ through such measures as the point, while complementing other — Given the history of posses­ include other suppliers "in order ing the register to include lighter conversion of arms plants to the initiatives such as those taken by sion and use of chemical weapons to obtain the broadest possible arms as well as production sites production of products for civilian Prime Ministers John Major and in the region, the initiative also cooperation," and noted that: and national weapons stocks. use. Brian Mulroney. It includes the calls for regional states to institute To implement this regime, the This is to meet a concern The demand for conventional following elements. confidence-building measures suppliers would commit: expressed by many developing arms is stimulated in large part now by engaging in presignature —to observe a general code of countries that the register would by the fact or threat of armed SUPPLIER RESTRAINT implementation of appropriate responsible arms transfers; discriminate against poorer conflict in the Middle East and The initiative calls on the five Chemical Weapons Convention —to avoid destabilizing nations, which import their arms, other regions of the world. With major suppliers of conventional provisions. transfers; by requiring them to disclose their the end of the Cold War, there arms to meet at senior levels in —to establish effective domestic purchases, while protecting richer have been renewed efforts to the near future to discuss the BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS export controls on the end- nations with indigenous arms strengthen such peacekeeping establishment of guidelines for As with the approach to chem­ use of arms or other items to industries against revealing their and collective security institutions restraints on destabilizing ical weapon controls, the propos­ be transferred. military strength. The group of as the United Nations, the Con­ transfers of conventional arms, as als build on an existing global The guidelines will include a experts should also study the ference on Security and Cooper­ well as weapons of mass destruc­ approach. The initiative would mechanism for consultations possibility of establishing a reg­ ation in Europe, the North Atlan­ tion and associated technology. — Call for strengthening the among suppliers, who would: ister for the transfer of missiles. tic Treaty Organization, and the France has agreed to host the 1972 Biological Weapons Conven­ —notify one another in advance These initiatives are welcome Organization of American States initial meeting. (The United King­ tion (BWC) through full imple­ of certain arms sales; steps towards restrictions on the and to promote the protection of dom, France, the Soviet Union, mentation of existing BWC pro­ —meet regularly to consult on quality and quantity of arms international human rights. China, and the United States have visions and an improved arms transfers; transfers, but subsequent devel­ These efforts should continue and supplied the vast majority of the mechanism for information —consult on an ad hoc basis opments indicate that much more be pursued vigorously. Of special conventional arms exported to the exchange. These measures will be if a supplier believed guide­ needs to be done. According to relevance to the demand for con­ Middle East in the last decade.) pursued at the five-year Review lines were not being observed; reports,*' arms sales in the Middle ventional weapons are the talks At the same time, these guidelines Conference of the BWC this and East since President Bush's prop­ currently under way between will permit states in the region to September. —provide one another with an osal have been heavy, as nations Israel and other states in the acquire the conventional capabil­ — Urge regional states to adopt annual report on transfers. in the region seek to restock their Middle East and representatives ities they legitimately need to biological weapons confidence- On October 18,1991, at a meet­ arsenals. Moreover, China, which of the Palestinian people. deter and defend against military building measures. ing in London, the principal supp­ did not participate in the vote on Respectfully submitted, aggression. This initiative complements liers agreed to a set of guidelines General Assembly Resolution 46/ Abram Chayes — These discussions will be our continuing support for the to govern arms exports. By these 36 L, is reportedly heavily engaged Chairperson expanded to include other supp­ continuation of the UN Security guidelines the principal suppliers in arms sales, including sales to liers in order to obtain the broad­ Council embargo against arms pledge that: Iran of nuclear technology. Also, ' See, e.g. Richard F. Grimmett, est possible cooperation. The transfers to Iraq, as well as the l.They will consider carefully according to reports," the principal The Arms Trade After the London Summit of the G-7, to be efforts of the UN Special Commis­ whether proposed transfers suppliers have to decide when War, Arms Control Today, June hosted by the British in July, will sion to eliminate Iraq's remaining will: they will notify each other of 1991, at 21. ^ For a summary of the proposal, see provide an early opportunity to capabilities to use or produce (a) promote the capabilities certain arms sales. The United id. at 27. begin to engage other nuclear, chemical, and biological of the recipient to meet States favors a system of advance ^ Id. governments. weapons and the missiles to needs for legitimate self- notification, but some of the other ^ Reuters, October 18,1991. — To implement this regime, deliver them. defense; principal suppliers would prefer » G.A. Res. 46/36 L (Dec. 9,1991). the suppliers would commit to (b) serve as an appropriate to delay disclosure until the sale '' See, Peter Grier, Armament observe a general code of respon­ Transparency in armaments and proportionate is concluded. Prior notification Deals Flourish Despite Bids sible arms transfers; to avoid The General Assembly, response to the security could force a seller to justify its for Limits, Christian Science destabilizing transfers; and to Realizing that excessive and and military threats con­ sale, while notification after the Monitor, February 10, 1992, U.S. establish effective domestic export destabilizing arms build-ups pose fronting the recipient fact is a much less meaningful Section, at 1. controls on the end-use of arms a threat to national, regional and country; exercise. ^ See, William C. Triplett II, Chi­ na's Weapons Mafia, Washing­ or other items to be transferred. international peace and security, (c) enhance the capability of As envisaged by President ton Post, October 27,1991, at C3. — The guidelines will include particularly by aggravating ten­ the recipient to partici­ Bush's proposal, the meetings " See, Peter Grier, supra, note 6. a mechanism for consultations sions and conflict situations, pate in regional or other among the principal suppliers ' For discussion of this and other among suppliers, who would not­ giving rise to serious and urgent collective arrangements should be expanded to include the proposals, see, David A. Koplow ify one another in advance of concerns. or other measures con­ so-called second-tier suppliers. and Philip G. Schrag, Carrying a certain arms sales; meet regularly Noting with satisfaction that October, 1992* THE DOCKET • Page 27

Standing Committee on Law and National Security Report to the House of Delegates the current international environ­ ardized reporting of international assistance of a panel of govern­ Disarmament Commission under ing primarily indirect ment and recent agreements and arms transfers together with the mental technical experts to be its item entitled "Objective infor­ fire, with a calibre of 100 measures in the field of arms provision of other interrelated nominated by him on the basis of mation on military matters"; millimetres and above. limitation and disarmament make information to a United Nations equitable geographical represen­ 15. Requests the Conference IV. Combat aircraft it a propitious time to work Register will constitute further tation, to elaborate the technical on Disarmament to include in its A fixed-wing or variable- towards easing tensions and a just important steps forward in the procedures and to make any annual report to the General geometry wing aircraft resolution of conflict situations as promotion of transparency in adjustments to the annex to the Assembly a report on its work on armed and equipped to well as more openness and trans­ military matters and, as such, will present resolution necessary for this issue; engage targets by parency in military matters, enhance the role and effectiveness the effective operation of the 16. Invites all Member States, employing guided mis­ Recalling the consensus of the United Nations in promot­ Register, and to prepare a report in the meantime, to take measures siles, unguided rockets, among Member States on imple­ ing arms limitation and disarma­ on the modalities for early expan­ on a national, regional and global bombs, guns, cannons, menting confidence-building mea­ ment, as well as maintaining sion of the scope of the Register basis, including within the or other weapons of sures, including transparency and international peace and security. by the addition of further catego­ appropriate forums, to promote destruction. exchange of relevant information Recognizing the importance ries of equipment and inclusion of openness and transparency in V. Attack helicopters on armaments, likely to reduce of the prevention of the prolifer­ data on military holdings and armaments; A rotary-wing aircraft the occurrence of dangerous mis- ation of nuclear weapons and procurement through national 17. Calls upon all Member equipped to employ anti- perceptions about the intentions other weapons of mass production, and to report to the States to cooperate at a regional armour, air-to-ground, of States and to promote trust destruction, General Assembly at its forty- and subregional level, taking fully or air-to-air guided wea­ among States, 1. Recognizes that an seventh session; into account the specific condi­ pons and equipped with Considering that increased increased level of openness and 9. Calls upon all Member tions prevailing in the region or an integrated fire con­ openness and transparency in the transparency in the field of arma­ States to provide annually for the subregion, with a view to enhanc­ trol and aiming system field of armaments could enhance ments would enhance confidence, Register data on imports and ing and coordinating international for these weapons. confidence, ease tensions, streng­ promote stability, help States to exports of arms in accordance efforts aimed at increased open­ VI. Warships then regional and international exercise restraint, ease tensions with the procedures established ness and transparency in A vessel or submarine peace and security and could and strengthen regional and inter­ by paragraphs 7 and 8 of the armaments; with a standard dis­ contribute to restraint in military national peace and security; present resolution; 18. Invites all Member States placement of 850 metric production and the transfer of 2. Declares its determina­ 10. Invites Member States, to inform the Secretary-General of tonnes or above, armed arms. tion to prevent the excessive and pending the expansion of the their national arms import and or equipped for military Realizing the urgent need to destabilizing accumulation of Register, also to provide to the export policies, legislation and use. resolve underlying conflicts, to arms, including conventional Secretary-General, with their administrative procedures, both VII. Missiles or missile diminish tensions and to acceler­ arms, in order to promote stability annual report on imports and as regards authorization of arms systems ate efforts towards general and and strengthen regional or inter­ exports of arms, available back­ transfers and prevention of illicit A guided rocket, ballistic complete disarmament under national peace and security, tak­ ground information regarding transfers; or cruise missile capable strict and effective international ing into account the legitimate their military holdings, procure­ 19. Requests the Secretary- of delivering a payload control with a view to maintaining security needs of States and the ment through national production General to report to the General to a range of at least 25 regional and international peace principle of undiminished security and relevant policies, and requests Assembly at its forty-seventh kilometres, or a vehicle, and security in a world free from at the lowest possible level of the Secretary-General to record session on progress made in imple­ apparatus or device the scourge of war and the burden armaments: this material and to make it menting the present resolution, designed or modified for of armaments. 3. Reaffirms the inherent available for consultation by including relevant information launching such Recalling that in the Final right to individual or collective Member States at their request; provided by Member States; munitions. Document of the Tenth Special self-defence recognized in Article 11.Decides, with a view to 20. Takes note of the fact that (b) Data on imports provided Session of the General Assembly 51 of the Charter of the United future expansion, to keep the effective implementation of the under paragraph 2 shall also 62/ it urged major arms supplier Nations, which implies that States scope of and the participation in present resolution will require an specify the supplying State; data and recipient countries to consult also have the right to acquire arms the Register under review, and, to up-to-date database system in the on exports shall also specify the on the limitation of all types of with which to defend themselves; this end: United Nations Department for recipient State and the State of international transfer of conven­ 4. Reiterates its conviction, (a) Invites Member States to Disarmament Affairs; origin if not the exporting State; tional arms. as expressed in its resolution 43/ provide the Secretary-General 21. Decides to include in the (c) Each Member State is Disturbed by the destabilizing 75 I, that arms transfers in all with their views, not later than provisional agenda of its forty- requested to provide data on an and destructive effects of the their aspects deserve serious 30 April 1994, on: seventh session an item entitled annual basis by 30 April each year illicit arms trade, particularly for consideration by the international (i) The operation of the Reg­ "Transparency in armaments." in respect of imports into and the internal situation of affected community, inter alia, because ister during its first two exports from their territory in the States and the violation of human of: years; ANNEX previous calendar year; rights. (a) Their potential effects in (ii) The addition of further Register of conventional arms (d) The first such registration Bearing in mind that, in further destabilizing areas where categories of equipment 1. The Register of Conventional shall take place by 30 April 1993 accordance with the Charter of tension and regional conflict and the elaboration of the Arms ("the Register") shall be in respect of the calendar year the United Nations, Member threaten international peace and Register to include mil­ established, with effect from 1 1992; States have undertaken to pro­ security and national security; itary holdings and pro­ January 1992, and maintained at (e) The data so provided shall mote the establishment and main­ (b) Their potentially negative curement through the Headquarters of the United be recorded in respect of each tenance of international peace and effects on the progress of the national production; Nations in New York. Member State; security with the least diversion peaceful social and economic (b) Requests the Secretary- 2. Concerning international arms (f) Arms "exports and for armaments of the world's development of all peoples; General, with the assistance of a transfers: imports" represent in the present human and economic resources, (c) The danger of increasing group of governmental experts (a) Member States are resolution, including its annex, all and that the reduction of world illicit and covert arms trafficking: convened in 1994 on the basis of requested to provide data for the forms of arms transfers under military expenditures could have 5. Calls upon all Member equitable geographical represen­ Register, addressed to the terms of grant, credit, barter or a significant positive impact for States to exercise due restraint in tation, to prepare a report on the Secretary-General, on the number cash. the social and economic develop­ exports and imports of conven­ continuing operation of the Reg­ of items in the following categories 3. Concerning other interrelated ment of all peoples, tional arms, particularly in situa­ ister and its further development, of equipment imported into or information: Reaffirming the important tions of tension or conflict, and to taking into account the work of exported from their territory: (a) Member States are invited role of the United Nations in the ensure that they have in place an the Conference on Disarmament, I. Battle tanks also to provide to the Secretary- field of disarmament and the adequate body of laws and admi­ as set forth in paragraphs 12 to A tracked or wheeled General available background commitment of Member States to nistrative procedures regarding 15 below, and the views expressed self-propelled armoured information regarding their mil­ take concrete steps in order to the transfer of arms and to adopt by Member States for submission fighting vehicle with itary holdings, procurement strengthen that role. strict measures for their to the General Assembly with a high cross-country through national production, and Recalling its resolution 43/75 enforcement; view to a decision at its forty- mobility and a high level relevant policies; I of 7 December 1988, 6. Expresses its apprecia­ ninth session; of self-protection, weigh­ (b) The information so pro­ Welcoming the study submit­ tion to the Secretary-General for 12. Requests the Conference ing at least 16.5 metric vided shall be recorded in respect ted by the Secretary-General 63/ his study on ways and means of on Disarmament to address, as tonnes unladen weight, of each Member State. pursuant to paragraph 5 of reso­ promoting transparency 'n inter­ soon as possible, the question of with a high muzzle 4. The Register shall be open for lution 43/75 I and prepared with national transfers of conventional the interrelated aspects of the velocity direct fire main consultation by representatives of the assistance of governmental arms, 64/ which also addressed excessive and destabilizing gun of at least 75 mil­ Member States at any time. experts, on ways and means of the problem of the illicit arms accumulation of arms, including limetres calibre. 5. In addition, the Secretary- promoting transparency in inter­ trade; military holdings and procure­ II. Armoured combat General shall provide annually a national transfers of conventional 7. Requests the Secretary- ment through national produc­ vehicles consolidated report to the General arms, as well as the problem of General to establish and maintain tion, and to elaborate universal A tracked or wheeled Assembly of the data registered, the illicit arms trade, taking into at United Nations Headquarters and non-discriminatory practical self-propelled vehicle, together with an index of the account views of Member States in New York a universal and non­ means to increase openness and with armoured protec­ other interrelated information. and other relevant information. discriminatory Register of Con­ transparency in this field; tion and cross-country Recognizing the major contri­ ventional Arms, to include data on 13. Furtherrequests the Con­ capability, either: (a) Endnotes bution of an enhanced level of international arms transfers as ference on Disarmament to designed and equipped 62/ Resolution S-10/2. transparency in armaments to address the problems of, and the to transport a squad of 63/ A/46/301. well as information provided by 64/ A/46/301. confidence-building and security Member States on military hold­ elaboration of practical means to four or more infantry­ among States and also recognizing ings, procurement through increase, openness and transpar­ men, or (b) armed with the urgent need to establish, national production and relevant ency related to the transfer of high an integral or organic under the auspices of the United policies, as set out in paragraph technology with military applica­ weapon of at least 20 Nations, as a first step in this 10 and in accordance with proce­ tions and to weapons of mass millimetres calibre or an direction, a universal and non­ dures and input requirements destruction, in accordance with anti-tank missile discriminatory Register to include initially comprising those set out existing legal instruments; launcher. data on international arms in the annex to the present reso­ 14. Invites the Secretary- III. Large calibre transfers as well as other interre­ lution, and subsequently incorpo­ General to provide to the Confer­ artillery systems lated information provided to the rating any adjustments to the ence on Disarmament all relevant A gun, howitzer, Secretary-General, annex decided upon by the Gener­ information, including, inter artillery piece, combin­ Stressing the importance of al Assembly at its forty-seventh alia, views submitted to him by ing the characteristics greater transparency in the inter­ session in the light of the recom­ Member States, information pro­ of a gun or a howitzer, est of promoting readiness to mendations of the panel referred vided under the United Nations mortar or multiple- exercise restraint in accumulation to in paragraph 8; Standardized Reporting System • launch rocket system, of armaments. 8. Also requests the on Military Expenditures, as well capable of engaging sur­ Considering that the stand­ Secretary-General, with the as the work of the United Nations face targets by deliver­ Paae 28 • THE DOCKET • October, 1992

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