Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2 Where Do You Go When All The Love Has Gone? Those are lyrics that I have just made up. I’m sure you’ll agree that I’m up there with all the modern musical geniuses, such as Prince, Stevie Wonder, Eric Clapton and Justin Bieber. But where am I going with this? I have an idea and it WILL make sense. Or so I hope… The beauty with Doctor Who is that even when the 13 weeks worth of episodes have gone, we don’t need to cry and mourn for its disappearance (or in my case – ran off without a word and never contacted me again). There are all sorts of commodities out there that we can lay our hands on and enjoy. (I’m starting to regret making this analogy now, as the drug-crazed aliens from Torchwood: Children of Earth would have been a better comparison!) The sheer size of Doctor Who fandom is incredibly huge and you’ll always be able to pick up something that’ll make you feel the way you do when you’re stuck in the middle of an episode. (This fanzine is akin to Love and Monsters than Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, to be honest!) Whether it be a magazine, book, DVD, audiobook, toy (they ARE toys btw), convention, podcast or even a fanzine, it’s all out there for us to explore and enjoy when a series ends, so we’ve no need to get upset and pine until Christmas! And wasn’t Series 5 (or whatever you want to call it) just superb? I can be quite smug here and say that I was never worried about Matt Smith nailing the role of The Doctor. He had me sold a minute into his first appearance in ‘The End of Time’ and the resulting months were spent on the interweb, shaking my head at children’s and other (older) people’s comments about ‘how nobody can replace David’ and variations of ‘who is Matt Smith’. At times I felt like telling these people to piss off and watch the dumbed-down soaps that they’re so used to, but as fans of Doctor Who (and not any particular actor!) it’s up to us to protect the show and re-educate people, if needs be! It was extremely funny to read people’s comments after The Eleventh Hour though! I’m not really going to go into the series, as we’ve got reviews elsewhere in these pages. But I believe that we’re in safe hands for years to come. Big thanks (again) to Steven Moffat and the team at Cardiff for breathing new life into the program we love. Let’s hope it doesn’t go away any time soon. Or indeed, run off without a word. You would have thought that with Series 5 being such a success, that the press would get behind the program. Apart from being insanely popular over here, the show is gaining in popularity all over the world and doing the reputation of British drama a world of good. This isn’t good enough for our tabloid press though, who for some reason aren’t prepared to celebrate success and like to knock it, make up lies and generally take enjoyment in placing people at a discomfort. No names named, but when you base your news around the X Factor and Big Brother rejects, it’s hardly surprising to find that journalists have no taste. It’s worrying to see the affect these bastards (the most apt word for them) have on the public with just one news item (and I’m not just talking about Doctor Who anymore, by the way!) 2 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2 It’s not something that I’ll normally comment on, but I’ve been really worried at people’s reactions to some of these stories. All I can say is just to take rumours about the show with a JCB-sized pinch of salt, as the majority of them are nicked off various message boards, after being made up by somebody, anyway! Their articles are written to get a reaction - just laugh it off. No doubt the Doctor Who team down at Cardiff do! Keep the faith and roll on Christmas (actually maybe not - I’ve not saved anything up!) Danny This edition of Fish Custard Fanzine was sponsored by The Torchwood Institute (we’ve no idea what they do, but boy aren’t they sexy?) Editor: Daniel Gee Contributors: Martin Marshall, Emma Donovan, Thomas Cookson, Grant Bull, Elizabeth Peloso, Richard Wiggins, Frank Collins, Patrick Riley, Tim Drury, Stephan Black, Thomas Spychalski, Steven Sautter, Steve James and Davide Dickinson Front Cover Photo: Andrew Murray Back Cover Art: Carly Jones Special Thanks To: Nicolas Blake, Martin Marshall & Alex Giles For Nic x The views/images contained in this fanzine are those of the contributors and not necessarily of Fish Custard Fanzine. So think twice before you send in abuse, writs and bungs. (In fact, the latter is ok by us). If you would like to contribute anything to future issues of the fanzine, please drop a line, or preferably an e-mail, to [email protected] or on Twitter – www.twitter.com/fishcustardzine or on Facebook (search ‘Fish Custard Fanzine’). You can also visit our blog site, which is regularly updated with information, news and other Fish Custard-stuff at www.fishcustardfanzine.co.uk 3 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2 PARADISE FIVES 5 Annoying, Overused and Untrue 5 Actors Who Would Make A Great Statements Used, When Talking Doctor About Doctor Who • David Morrissey • “I hid behind the sofa” • Benedict Cumberbatch • “Wobbly sets” • Harry Sedgewick • “It was rubbish in the 80’s” • Jack Davenport • “It’s for kids” • Patterson Joseph • “David is THE best Doctor” 5 Names The NEW Daleks Have Been Called 5 Things That The Sun Newspaper Is Good For • iDaleks • Teletubbies • Sport • Skittles • Page 3 (sometimes) • Cash Cows • Free telly magazine every Saturday • Shit • Laughable articles • Burning 5 Doctor Who People I Follow On Twitter 5 Better Reads Than Tabloid • Noel Clarke Newspapers • Mark Gatiss • Murray Gold • Satanic Verses • Paul Cornell • The Da Vinci Code • Steven Moffat • The Bible • The Twilight Saga 5 Steven Moffat Series’ • Fish Custard Fanzine • Joking Apart • Press Gang 5 Things That Will NOT Happen In • Coupling Series 6/32 of Doctor Who • Jekyll • Sherlock • More than half the stories will be set off Earth 5 Crimes Harry Sedgewick Has Been • ..and they will have NO human Arrested For element in them whatsoever • An old Doctor will NOT appear… • Fraud • There’ll be a 3-part story • Impersonating David Tennant • Russell T Davies will write an episode • Bribery • Loitering outside a ladies toilet • Assault 4 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2 SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED AND SOMETHING BLUE… The Series 5 Review To be that little bit different (as well as extremely awkward) we asked our contributors to write us some 300 word reviews of series 5… The True Purpose of the Pandorica that, seem too smart – they wouldn’t take chances, not where their greatest Another series of Doctor Who has come enemy is concerned. Then, it hit me. and gone and I have to say that I have The Daleks were lying to The Doctor thoroughly enjoyed it. Even the weaker and probably even the rest of their episodes were good fun and, thanks to temporary allies when they told him that the overall linking narrative of the they would save the universe “cracks in space/time” there were no themselves. They knew all too well that wasted episodes. Only one thing slightly they would not be able to do so. bothered me in the wonderful finale. I Nevertheless, that didn’t mean that they couldn’t help wondering why the couldn’t take advantage of the situation. Pandorica should have a Restoration Field within it at all. I mean, obviously, Instead of saving the universe it had to have one so that existence themselves, or simply standing by and could be saved – but why would the letting The Doctor do what he does best, Daleks and their ‘Coalition of Evil’ the Daleks came up with something build one? terribly dangerous and risky but so daring you have to admire it. They gave Was it simply to increase the torture of The Doctor the means to save the The Doctor, lengthening his already universe but only in such a way that he long life? No. These new Daleks, while would have to remove himself from certainly being malicious enough for space and time altogether. It was a 5 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2 scheme that could only be founded upon importance in this season and I can an utter conviction that one’s greatest honestly say I enjoyed them all for what enemy is infallible. If he had failed, they they give individually and to the bigger were dead. But, if he succeeded – as picture. It has been a season of new with they knew he would – they lived. Free. several charming nods to the old, there Now, that’s diabolical ingenuity. have been laughs, shocks and even tears (I admit it!) and I can’t wait for more! MARTIN MARSHALL GRANT BULL Season Perfect Stepping Into Tennant’s Converse Season 5, Season 31, Season Fnarg… call it what you what but personally I So, a review of Series 5 of the rebooted will be calling it ‘Season Perfect’, for Doctor Who… me not since Season 14 has Doctor Who been so strong.