New 2 -Opinion6 thecord

MCKAY SCOTT Unwelcome guests PICTURE:

PETE ROBINSON was 9-7. 15-12. It lead that the final in if better than was a they were nails the sure we are a team Cord Sports The until would play was huge, up never relinquish. Mustangs' coffin. The game ended Laurier (anyway)."

Have ever wanted to walk into that Laurier had failed trend continued you point to get The in the sec- on the third such incident, when a The win gives Laurier the inside the house ofsomeone hate and a first down and it ond half, with Laurier's defensive harmless Warren Goldie track for home-field you appeared as pass advantage put shoes their your dirty up on though the ghosts of J.W. Little secondary blanketing the Mustang sailed out of bounds, sealing the throughout the playoffs. It is also furniture? Stadium were going to get the best receivers. The offense continued to victory. the first time the Hawks have been

Well, the Football Hawks did of them that show with Zmich, the day. steady improvement For game was a ranked number one in the country just that on "No Saturday and the question," said Head Hawk their second touchdown coming off huge victory not only from the since 1992.

read like this: Rick Zmich, "when come in Jason Warren 35 of of where his muddy shoeprints you a yard scamper point view it puts The Hawks are next in action Laurier 25 Western 22. here have to have the the middle. The TD was set team in the but also for you right up up standings, Thursday at Hamilton's Ivor

The was a showdown mindset, return game Corey's gave us by a 41 yard catch by Grant. the mental edge it gives Laurier Wynne Stadium against McMaster. between the two top teams in the that." Another return huge by the heading into the second half of the It is expected that the game being and country with the win Laurier The defense then continued to rookie set Hm field schedule. the Ivor up a O'Leary played on Astroturf of now sits atop the national rank- do what have done all the 25-12. they year. goal making score "Certainly we grew as a team Wynne gives the Hawks another ings. some Both defenses took in the said who have lost Despite yielding big rushing over today," Zmich. "Western advantage over Mac, The turning point in the to Sean Reade and Jason fourth with the two game yards quarter Mustangs' hasn't lost since 1993 so it's a big straight. late in came the first with the their offense to for he quarter McKibbon, Mustangs were only giving every chance win us," said, in what could Two weeks ago Western used Western 9-0. Sensational able to muster a Mcßride field them back up punt goal get into theball game. be characterized as the under- their speed to thump Mac 49-6.

returner Grant took a before the end of the half. Corey However, despite giving up a statement ofthe season. "We have to control our own

Garnck Mcßride After from punt on his own some great plays McKibbon touchdown with 3:34 Western Head Coach Larry destiny," said Zmich in reference to 30 and was able to turn the corner Zach Treanor the next the Hawks the in on drive, left, were equal to Haylor was classy defeat. "The possible letdown that could happen the left up sideline, a of bro- of them touchdown catch in task. couple one a bottom line is we weren't good Thursday. ken tackles and 79 later it the endzone, the Hawks yards were up Three big third down stops enough today," he said. "I'm not Game time is 7:30. NEWS

Library rains concrete

the meantime, a hoard- lished for either the remedial ANN-MARIE SMITH eye," she said. with the university on solutions to its place. In yet

will be over the main work or any major reconstruction. AND KATHY CAWSEY "The library can be fixed, but the problem. ing put entry the we've is "I am going to raise issue again," Cord News people can't be fixed," stated Brad "What seen fail not to protect passersby.

whose Ross Ferrara assured students. not be - but VP: Affairs, structural," assured suggested placing warning Our library may sinking Ross, University Vanderspek "If there's As well, no exists to cover students. Remedial work to the around the area. budget it is falling apart. Chunks of concrete portfolio includes safety. Ross had signs I the "We don't tend to have not of the before could involve all the endangering safety repairs. are crumbling off the front of the heard problem building cutting something my about it,"he said. for unforseen sixth and seventh floors of the WLU being interviewed. "I'm in shock edging off the sixth and seventh should know budgets things,"

No time frame has been estab- Vanderspek commented wryly. library, endangering people entering right now," he admitted. "I hope no floor and putting something else in

main does hurt." the building. As a result, the one get for the entrance to the library has been The reason crumbling blocked off.

The faulty concrete is part of the

"bottom skirt" of the main panel, said Rob Vanderspek, Manager of

Facility Planning, Design and

Construction. Thin layers of concrete hide the main beams on the sixth and seventh floors, and "being thin, it's easily breaking off," Vanderspek commented. "It's not well-designed."

The alternate route into the

still under the front of concrete is still uncertain. Library goes the building. However, Vanderspek Vanderspek said that one possibility said, there are "no loose pieces is that changes to the design may other than above the [main] door." have been made when the sixth and

Earlier this week, all the obvious seventh floors were added several

concrete moisture loose pieces of on the years ago. Likely put pres- the library were removed. sure on the bottom flange on

Pat Ferrara, Co-ordinator of section, damaging the concrete. A

Health and Safety on Campus, said construction consultant is working that the "risk is fine for the route off HENSEL to the side." However, she empha- Top: Concrete edging on 6th sized that when defining a risk, "it floor is crumbling. hurt. MARION takes only one [person] to get Students forced to take "If it's coming from the 6th floor Right: curcuitous route to into it wouldn't take much to damage get PICTURES: someone's skull, not to mention an Library. Accessibility audit shows problems

not auto- him in to class. ence first hand problems with physical acces- inadequate snow removal, enough getting and small elevators in the CTB. Goff also wondered why WLUSU, when McCormick sibility at Laurier. "An accessibility audit has matic doors,

been done WLUSU the Most with construction on the the problems of never by of school," recently, investigating accessibility,

a encounters down- and Ross said Ross. Student Union building, the lack of a ramp didn't ask person who its has for Both McCormick and Ross agreed access behind the building created problems falls every day.

most spend a day to 202 Regina was the significant prob- lem. "With four essential services off campus,

that is a problem," said McCormick He added,

touring campus "It's be new the 90's, we shouldn't creating Phones OK say frosh

but instead rid of the old in wheelchairs obstacles, getting ones."

the cost McCormick suggested allowing physically ROBIN WHITTAKER are responsible for dividing among

themselves. This in turn to the KATHERINE HARDING challenged students to fulfill all their adminis- Cord News money goes of and which Bell the Cord News tration needs through the Special Needs Office After years poor phone service a rocky Housing Office, pays required

October WLUSU sidewalk transition Laurier has one of the best amount, often a loss when students do In a refreshing move 2-3, on campus or building a on Lodge period, taking around. students their bills time. president Scott McCormick and V-P of St. in order to solve the 202 Regina dilemma. telephone deals Although notpay on distance plans from The Housing Office is responsible for University Affairs, Brad Ross, went beyond Other problem areas they encountered cannot purchase long pay- few students this the back for the usual political rhetoric. For two days, were accessibility in the Center Spot, the other companies, year are ing university $90,000 price

and the tunnels under the about the residence of in the new The McCormick and Ross traveled WLU's campus Dining Room, complaining telephones. tag putting system payment

McCormick the audit The old two will be made over a two After in wheelchairs. Their mission was to experi- library. hoped accom- system, scrapped years ago, year period. for three taken into plished "more awareness, and sends a mes- consisted of one rotary phone every that, when other expenses are

to insuffi- connected to a switchboard. This it will be before the sage the administration" regarding rooms, account, "years university

cient accessibility at Laurier. meant that with fewer calls going out, the uni- breaks even," said Belanger.

Judy Bruyn, co-ordinator of the Special versity lost a lot of revenue, and could offer When the Housing Office finally begins will Needs Office, views the accessibility situation fewer discounts. Last year, theresidence office making sufficient profit, the money go

the bar- a Bell into as "good, as long as people check out struck deal with Canada, producing the back the residences.

the rier-free routes, accessible doors, and system that rez students now enjoy. As for future plans for phone system,

"there Mike Director of stated, said that frosh benefit assistable devices available. She added, Belanger, Housing Belanger may one day "Bell beat deals, better from bills within their resi- are no classroom floors that are inaccessible, can any [providing] a individual phone

else... the except for the seminary." bulk deal thananyone [They've] got dence rooms.

the administra- available the market." This few have come For the past 5 years, WLU best equipment on year, very complaints

allotted economi- The residence students have immediate, to Office about the tion has $50,000 a year (if the Housing phone system. the their cally feasible) for up-grading physical accessi- no limit telephone service. As well, Vista Some students have suggested that

Plans this 100 to with other bility on campus. for year include phones are, according Belanger, the own phone plans, companies,

the "best the market. them up-grading seminary, building a ramp at display phones" on The would save more money. Belanger

barrier- school and Bell both benefit from and it the security office, and constructing a a "large countered by saying that though may of the free path from Bricker. lucrative" contract, and the students in turn appear that way on the surface, much

costs student is included in Even with such a commitment by the save money. phone the pays

school, Laurier student Bill Goff said the The revamping of the phone system cost their residence fee. The student in fact saves

the wheelchair accessibility "sucks". Being in a university approximately $90,000. money. wheelchair, he has significant problems with Included in this cost is the rewiring bills for all Besides, in the words of resident student

the well in the residences, as as the telephone rental Greg Chownyk, "All the complaining

costs. world's not going to it because Bell's McCormick and Ross were wheelchair- change The route student takes to off such a big deal." bound for two days. Their accessibility money pay deal phone bills is a circuitous one. Residence stu- Bell's big deal is undoubtedly a good audit was the first ever performed by dents their telephone bills room, and for Laurier residences. the WLU Students' Union. pay per

2 October 4,1995 theCord -(News)

Food Court reaction mixed

Tacky umbrellas receive the mostcomplaints

the Several students The most common complaint STEPHANIE THOMAS Many students think the new A common grievance was complained Food While about the organization of the food about the food court, however, per- Cord News food court is a good place to social- pasta from for Thought

that individual tained to the wood and canvas ize. a stu- students said it was delicious, they court, suggesting large The new food court opened last Mark Klyden, first-year three of food court umbrellas on the tables. week to mixed reviews from Laurier dent, commented that the

Neil Al-Rawass, a first student, students. has "a comfortable, social atmos- year said, "I can't out to the where it's to converse." "It's the figure why they Designed replace Torque phere easy basically Torque have those umbrellas." court however, had Room, the food is located on Many students, Second students floor of the Student and for the with lots of year Stephanie the bottom complaints suggestions room big and Caroline Gilbert is - about Reyes said, Union Building. It a split-level new food court everything

"The umbrellas are too big for the with metal railings and a pale from the efficiency to the decor. TVvo room awesome Hawaiian Hall upstairs part." Overall, students pink and green colour scheme. students from Willison com- of in thought the umbrellas were "ugly," Some students compared the look of plained about the lack variety umbrellas and some pasta'' and "useless." cafeteria, the drinks. went to "tacky" the dining area to a prison (Perhaps they Despite these minor complaints, while others thought it looked more the wrong place, though, because Jamie SchoueJa, 2nd Communication Studies yr students seemed to enjoy a new like McDonald's. there are plenty of drinks: besides alternative to the cafeteria. Who Domino's Pizza, Mr. Sub, and the fully-stocked refrigerator near

did receive cash at each vendor would knows, soon be Food for Thought are all crammed the check-out, there are vending felt they not a big registers they may arguing who to at the tables of the level. machines and for the be more efficient than the over gets sit into a corner upper for Evian, Gatorade, enough serving price they separate check-out with those tacky umbrellas. A&W is still under construction. almost every soft drink imaginable.) paid.

Students line up in this small space

and then line to order their food, up

at again to pay for it a Zehrs-like

check-out.

The lower level has plenty of

seating and is well-lit from the floor- to-ceiling windows along one wall,

with doors that will eventually open out onto a patio. Students and staff

have plenty of praise for the amount

of seating and the brightness of the

food court. Food Services employee

the Agnes Gillick, who works at new Mr. Sub, said she likes the new food «8 court better than the Torque Room because it is "brighter, new, and

cozier."

Aids walk raises nearly $40,000

DAVE POPOVICH

Cord News

Over 500 participants took to the ■■■v r^P': 3 ;X& ' -.•-^—a^^^viK.^yxl^^B last streets Sunday as part of

3rd Walk Waterloo Region's Annual IB - I for AIDS. The trek in support of II gdHKKWiWW ACCKWA: The AIDS Committee of

Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo

Area and was one of forty events

nationwide taking place to officially Some ofthis launch AIDS Awareness Week. country's ACCKWA, established in 1985,

is a non-profit, community-based most creative minds are in Canada's

organization which furnishes ser-

vices indi- and support programs to insurance industry. viduals who are infected or affected

by AIDS and the HIV Virus. ACCK- the kinds of minds that know and ethical of They're creativity educated, experienced group WAs 140 long-term volunteers also far literature movies. successful goes beyond art, or making professionals equipped to pursue provide AIDS treatment informa- If you're like that, why not consider a career with careers at the local, provincial, national or even tion and HIV/AIDS prevention edu- Canada's property/casualty, or general insurance international level. cation to the community. industry? The industry offers a wide variety of Choice, challenge, satisfaction and security. This year the Walk raised an career choices for creative minds. Accountants They are just some of the rewards you'll enjoy estimated $ 37,500, thanks to the yes, but also systems analysts, lawyers, managers, through a creative career in the property/casualty tremendous efforts of all those who loss prevention engineers, investment specialists, insurance industry. volunteered. These funds will be For look for local investigators, marine underwriters, aviation more information, your directed to ACCKWA's community adjusters and many more. The choice is yours. Insurance Institute in the white pages or, contact education, advocacy and support General insurance is also an industry that Les Dandridge, 8.A., A.1.1.C., at The Insurance programs. to its levels of Institute of 18 Street encourages you acquire own Canada, King East, Equally important, the Walk professionalism. As a Fellow or Associate of The 6th Floor, Toronto, Ontario, MSC IC4 provided the region with the oppor- of would Insurance Institute Canada, you join an (416)362-8586 FAX (416) 362-1126. tunity to respond to the AIDS crisis

in a positive way. The participants ofthe Canada's Insurance Professionals Walk not only brought atten- tion to themselves, but to the issue?. The Graduates of The Insurance Institute of Canada.

at hand: the only way we can defeat this disease is by joining together.

theCord October 4.1995 3 (News)— Turret ruckus Bag O' Crime

Theft Under $5000 approached in the early morning the floor. The matter is still under driving erratically. The driver was Suspicious person

hours individual dressed in warned & ordered to leave the cam- 0110 hrs Sun 01 Oct 95 1145 hrs Mon 25 Sep 95 by an investigation.

black red waist A non male was checked A non university affiliated individual tights, a length coat, pus. university

when he noticed at the attended the Security Office to wearing earrings and having rouge Assault Causing Bodily Harm was loitering

his cheeks. The individual had entrance to Bouckaert Hall. report that her license plate had on 2315 hrs Thu 28 Sep 95 Trespass revealed that he been stolen from her vehicle. No short hair (buzz cut) and made rude The above incident is presently 2040 Fri 29 Sep 95 Investigation was his and The two stu- under after a WLU stu- A non individual was waiting for girlfriend. suspects. remarks gestures. investigation university and dent after dents ran to their residence was punched in the face, charged with trespassing being

did not his The foundin Stadium Fire Alarm -Bricker Residence Theft Under $5000 reported that this person breaking nose. fight was a University premis-

of unidentified male This individual had been warned 1059 hrs Sun 01 Oct 95 2045 hrs Mon 25 Sep 95 attempt to touch them or expose result an as yet es.

assailant Officers responded to a fire alarm at Another individual reported the himself. He is described as being making racial slurs. The previously. the before officers Bricker Residence. Investigation theft of his license plate from his 5'10", 150 lbs with large round fled scene

arrived. The still under Fail remain revealed that the occupants of an vehicle while it was parked in lot #1 brown eyes. The matter is under matter is to

motor-vehide accident on the 4th floor had over the weekend. investigation. investigation. apartment

2225 hrs Wed 27 Sep 95 burnt their toast. No further action

Unauthorized Soliciting Dangerous Driving Common Assault A WLU officer investigated a fail to required. motor-vehicle accident 1553 hrsTue 26 Sep 95 0215 hrs Thu 28 Sep 95 0045 hrs Fri 29 Sep 95 remain

A in #3 for Two male individuals evicted which occurred in lot #7. During this time period 2 Three non university individuals vehicle was stopped lot were charges

Mid Turret after minor alter- and 5 warnings were issued were warned on Campus Drive erratic driving. When the officer from the a for

the it cation. violations. with regard to selling hair care spoke to occupants was liquor

products on campus without autho- learned that the owner of the vehicle

drive rization. was teaching his girlfriend to Medical Assistance

she with 0056 hrs Fri 29 95 and was having difficulty Sep

shift. advised female student trans- Trespass the gear They were to A WLU was & 2115 hrsTue 26 Sep95 conduct their lessons in an area with ported to hospital after she slipped

less a broken beer bottle at the Three non university individuals pedestrian traffic. fell on

when TUrret. were escorted off campus

their roller Harm they were riding blades Assault Causing Bodily

Common Assault on tables & benches in the Dining 0005 hrs Fri 29 Sep 95

member bitten hrs Fri 29 95 Hall Quad. A Turret staff was by 0145 Sep the an individual while he was attempt- A fight was broken up in area of

to break A the Hall which Possession Stolen Property ing up a fight. suspect Dining Quad was as

0113 hrs Wed 27 Sep 95 has been identified. Investigation a result of comments made to an

male issued continues. individual. The victim assault A non university was a of the

he with trespass warning when was did not want to proceed

apprehended in possession of two Assault Causing Bodily Harm charges as he felt the incident was chairs from the Dining Hall Quad. 0005 hrs Fri 29 Sep 95 his fault. No further action taken.

While attempting to break up a fight

Suspicious Person in the Turret, a WLU officer arrested Dangerous Driving Fri 2330 hrs Wed 27 Sep 95 an individual who was observed 2125 29 Sep 95

Two female WLU students were kicking another person who was on A vehicle was stopped in lot #3 after Culture Shock I FILM DEVELOPING I ok% AEEI the don't ERIC HENRY to beer fridge, so expect a

News student to Cord Business prepare an

The of 1 SPECIfIL fl secrets Business are income statement for you outside of Film Developing enshrined inside the Peters class). Building, that Rubick's Cube of a Another presence in the Peters colour films for structure that defies all logical sense Building is the Economics students. Bring us your of space and proportion. Often reclusive, they ponder prob-

As LInITED and and with your friendly neighbourhood lems concerning beer companies, u developing printing , anthropologist, I undertook the the inflation of beer prices and the ■ 25% off TIME I S couPon rece ' ve our quest of investigating the culture of scarcity of beer in a market econo- of the School of Business and my. I am told that for a sighting fl re u ' ar 9 prices. Economics at Laurier. Out of neces- Economics students one should

OFFER! sity, I left all my pre-conceived search the group study room in the notions and and biases behind ven- library, where they are always busy wGuardianDruas tured through the main doors into a contemplating these intense ques-

mosaic of and tions. Disc & Full Frame 35mm orange green.

Professional the Professors SBE Excludes: Panoramic 35, My first shock was costumes in are treated as 1/2 frame 35 & Seattle Film. I I CampUS Phamacy Lkl fSPSI of the natives - no one wore a suit facilitators to learning. They do not must order to lab. 1 I Coupon accompany 160Urivesiy/Ve., W. I and tie, not even the the to a Offer combined professors. possess key great deposito- ■ cannot be with any other ■■ (UhMSStyShops PlcEa) CLIP &

business student shattered before have only one major vice: caffeine. I

my eyes. can only suppose this spurs their

The rituals I observed in the creative processes, because they

classrooms were also somewhat have some of the most complex and

unexpected. For instance, every stu- colourful overhead transparencies I

dent has a name tag. But don't have ever seen. Sometimes an

think for a minute that this is a entire class revolves around the

classroom - kindergarten every one great glowing behemoth of projec- of them seems to have worked for a tion.

major corporation. My past experi- A rich variety of folklore can also

ence digging ditches for the govern- be found in SBE, such as the leg-

ment and flipping burgers pales endary TA parties for BU 111.

somewhat in comparison. Another tale is that of the Certified

Business always seems to move Accountant, a mytho-historical hero Wm voiceAdOn-line students on to bigger and better who successfully audits the dire

things. forces of confusion and inaccuracy.

Many are recruited by corpora- On average, students of SBE are

tions after right graduation and the easy to relate to, have a profound

rest are equipped with the skills sense of where their future lies and

hand necessary to search for a career. As often have extra cash on to

Business students a result, can be a buy a round. These qualities are

to very pragmatic, no nonsense important to note if you want

real in m bunch, focusing on world appli- well to students embroiled 651-1921 cations instead of abstract concepts. thebusiness culture of Laurier. Direction in life is in This 1 series ingrained them. column is section ofa

(However, that direction often points on the "culture'' ofLaurier.

4 October 4,1995 theCord —(News)

Property Standards Officer "Is Legal?" This deals with landlords AdviceLegalFromResources poor

off. should to discuss watch the hammers with but can't JASON BILODEAU outlines all the repairs necessary Terry arrange stand back and repair problems, they will do the with AND STEVEN HUNWICKS and the acceptable time frame. You the possible intervention of the fly. Basically, the city replace open communication

outline of this letter in the Standards Officer and and send the bill. For Landlord. Consultation with Cord News can get an Property repairs, Larry Larry

of the If the this a work order is a the Resource Centre is This column follows the exploits of Legal Resource Centre. inspection premises. reason, very Legal strong-

and Landlord, letter, We repairs are of a serious powerful instrument; landlords wet recommendedat each step in this Terry Tenant Larry Ohhh, a you say? being sought ly nature roof that floods their and into action because individual circum- and is intended to answer common haven't gotten to the good part yet! (i.e„ leaking pants jump process

issues To the bottom of the the house when it no door when they have one on their stances The office is on the questions on legal of rele- letter, Terry rains, prop- vary.

students at WLU. The should add "Cc. Standards locks, no heat), the erty. third floor of the Student Union vance to Properly city inspector work order for the These three should and to advice given is in no way intended Officer, City of Waterloo," and drop may issue a steps help Building, open Monday

off a at the If he does, should and in his position Friday. as a substitute for professional legal copy Legalßesource property. Terry Terry anyone advice. Centre. This usually "motivates"

Now that we've determined that most Larry-type landlords who

Larry Landlord is responsible for the cringe at the thought of property repairs to Terry's place, we have to standards officers nosing about their Turret pool room opens figure out how to get the him to do properties. We must be honest with them. Terry, though. The officer will not

The first step Terry should take inspect a house for peeling paint or

but serious is to have a polite, frank discus- a dirty carpet. He is there for sion with Larry. Terry needs to health and safety issues. make it clear which repairs need to If Larry doesn't respond to the

reasonable be done, and provide a letter, Terry should write to him

the fact that time frame for completion. Contrary once more, detailing to popular belief, this technique he's already tried to talk to him, that

works in most situations. The the first letter was sent, and that the

reasonable have been majority of landlords are repairs not completed. To people who realize the benefits of this letter, Terry needs to add that he The Turret in the

and well- will be to is having happy tenants a pursuing legal action have SUB now open maintained property. the repairs done. Again, the outline STiNSON all day, seven If this approach doesn't work, for this letter is available in the Legal days a week. Its will have the Resource Centre, and of the Terry to intensify pres- a copy SCOTT new pool room This be letter should be the sure on Larry. can done by sent to City of has bar service, writing a business-like letter, (i.e., Waterloo Property Standards Officer and is not

on a of in for his records. PICTURE: not scrawled piece paper non-smoking.

Terry's usual chicken scratch) which Now it's time to take the gloves

V';'/;: |;|i ;|- . 'xiy-. x'x:MW'. ■ ; ■ Your future starts now

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theCord October 4,1995 5 (News)- Tickets and long walks

Be it resolved thatparking atLaurier is a pain

first hint that KAREN LESLIE AND my spot. This was my received a twenty dollar ticket for

school not ANDREA BARRETT having my car at was a not parking in the zone, which as idea. usual full. Cord News good was completely

two Wow, did I luck out! When I meet The second was my parking The process by which security

roommate I knew that tickets within week. hands out tickets unfair and my Karen, a seems

would We All with were noti- be we get along great. were students cars unsafe. Nobody seems to obeying

the lived that had until 4:30 the in which in same program, only fied they pm on zones they are sup-

another back the to their to minutes from one assigned day pick up posed park. People are parking

of the be for- which home and shared many same stickers or their spots would wherever they please, forces

of the the rest to other interests. The big bonus feited. By 2:00 pm, Laurier security of us park in areas. This column is an openforumfor debate officers fifteen Street fine whole deal was that she had a CAR!! were handing out Parking at Regina is students, dollar with- when the when staffandfaculty. If This would really come in handy if parking tickets to cars it is during day or among you

for stickers. the foot wish to contribute, come to the Cord we wanted to go shopping, out out How can you justify patrol is working. Unfortunately, offices.

dinner or to visit Mends. Little did officers' ticketing cars when not it is impractical late at night because

JORG should in mind that there we know that having a car at school everyone has had a chance to pick it is very unsafe walking back PETER keep may

be their unescorted from such distance. I Manager, Security Services be matters that officers would such a burden. up permits? a pressing

I would to to the be with at the The first problem with having a Later that week, it was Friday understand the theory behind the like respond one- might dealing time

for and had home In world where article titled "Tickets and and there be car at school is applying a park- night 1 just come at system. a perfect on-one may some delay.

If ticket issued for not ing permit. The ordeal started at the around 2:30 am. When I got to my everyone parked where they should, Long Walks." a was

this Let address each in a Housing Office, where I filled out a residence, the ten designated spots we would not be having prob- me point sepa- parking proper space (i.e.

lem. the and it is form for the permit, only to have to were occupied, so I checked all of This is not case, until rately. parked on a roadway) because,

to start the the travel go to Regina Street to drop off the the other residences only find the people obeying zones I cannot comment on the as much as possible, ways are

form. As all Laurier is method of to be clear in the event that completed stu- same thing. My only other option system flawed. issuing parking permits kept

time Street exists for that is notin domain. vehicles are dents know, we spend a lot of was to go to Regina However, Enough parking every- as security's emergency required

services rules. There With the comment and must be able to making journeys over to 202 Regina foot patrol does not offer its one ifpeople follow the respect to they get

the this late and has be solution that would made the writer Street. Once permits were at an hour, I definitely to a by about security through. without The in which processed, I had to check at the was not going to walk back alone. make both the students and the ticketing vehicles permits manner security

to if had The mind to But until the 2 hands out tickets is neither unfair Housing Office see I logical thing in my was security happy. we find by pm on the assigned day or

received Then had trek behind the be the last of the unsafe. There a spot. I to park designated spots right answer, people will still (September 21, day are parking regula-

to for the and the the and I like to that tions and need to be enforced. back to Regina Street pay simply car in parking in wrong spots, grace period) would say they

to to out in the white effort is made to deal permit, but then go back Housing morning. The next- day, when I went security will continue give only vehicles parked Every with

out to had tickets. ticketed white but to pick up the blue sticker verifying move the car, I already unnecessary permit lots were as parking violators ultimately the

8 the permits went on sale September illegal parkers are ones to

feel that 13 sufficient times and we days is blame. There are when secu-

able Cord International time for those wishing to have a rity is not always to go through

the lots because that is the white permit to obtain one. not only Around the world Blue permit areas were not tick- function of the department and we eted until September 22 because have limited resources. in the housing office (who are the ones I concede that at times mistakes seven In instances days who decide who gets blue permits) may be made. where there obvious in had posted notices on September 19 is an error issuing

those who the ticket LILIAN SCHAER withdrawing troops and shutting blind cleric will be sentenced in advising were successful the Security Department

Cord International down the had will cancel the ticket but the offices of its military January and faces life inprison- that they until 4:30 pm only

international the has the Despite protest, government in the West Bank. ment. As a result of the verdict September 21 to obtain them. manager of department

France detonated its second This of delivered Vehicles which do this. If ticket is part an agreement on Sunday, security has were parked on authority to a was

nuclear bomb the last reached between all that issued other there withing PLO leader been tightened at US airports roadways, no parking areas or in circumstances,

month South This involves in the Pacific on Yyasser Arafat and Israeli Prime in an effort to prevent repercus- were parked in gold parking areas is an appeal process.

24 the weekend. Minister Yitzhak Rabin before sions. and hour reserved spaces were obtaining an appeal form at either

The second in a series of six signing a historic accord in ..And finally, a California dare- ticketed at the beginning of the term the Security Office, the Business

the bomb last in because these autho- Dean to eight tests, was Washington Thursday. devil died on Sunday a stunt areas are not Office or the of Students

measured at some 110 kilo- ...The man suspected of being that went sadly wrong over rized lots for either blue or white Office. Attach the ticket or a copy to

The first held form and submit the tonnes. test was behind numerous bombings in Niagara Falls. permits. the appeals

and that France this dead. Robert Overacker drove his If September sth, blast earlier year is a WLU student, faculty or staff appeal to the Dean of Students

about 20 Khaled the and member was kilotonnes, or Kelkal, an Algerian, was jetski over Falls, plunged is apprehensive about Office.

to bomb killed to at roughly equivalent the in a shootNout with police his death when his turbo-pro- walking on campus late night, I hope I have answered some of

dropped on Hiroshima in 1945. at a bus in eastern France. failed after Foot Patrol and addressed stop pelled parachute to open. hours, they can your questions your

The due to end Kelkal went into contact have experiments are hiding near Overacker had been planning this the Security Department concerns. If you any other

in to the after terror the stunt for and assistance. at May 1996, according Lyon bombings in seven years, was and request If all pos- questions or if I can further clarify

French and to for will I would be most government Paris subway, a school, doing it raise awareness sible, officers assist in this type anything for you

...17 strikers the however the were arrested in tourist sites. the plight of homeless. of situation; individual happy to meetwith you.

Detroit yesterday after an explo- ...Britain's golden showbiz couple

sion outside the and newspaper distri- is history. Kenneth Branagh

bution centre on Clayton Street. Emma Thompson have 2500 striking workers from the announced their separation after Bike helmet law Detroit News and the Free Press 6 years of marriage. Thompson

have been trying to delay the won an Oscar for the movie papers' combined issues each "Howards End", and Branagh is justfor minors weekend since Labour Day. well known for his

roles Two picketers were charged Shakespearean on stage

with officer after ROXANNE COPPERS of $15 assaulting an and screen. Sources say is a high degree compliance when Helmets range in price from

officers hit with walked and two police were Thompson out, having Cord News legislation is enacted.'' to $200 depending on the style A Ontario law signs,and the rest were charged confessed to a US gay magazine new requiring cyclists Chipman also stated that quality. Salmon recommended using with that she attracted malicious destruction. was to fellow to weara helmet went into effect on Waterloo Police have seen several a $30 helmet to adequately protect ..At least 14 1. people are dead actress Michelle Pfeiffer. October The law was expected to bicycle accidents in which injuries the head A good helmet should be after has a deadly earthquake struck ...Comedian George Kirby apply to all cyclists, hit instead will could have been prevented if the CSA approved and it should fit the

last week. was 18 and riders had Turkey Dozens more died at age 71. He best apply only to cyclists age worn helmets. Two of head property. buried under the and are rubble, known for his imitations of stars under. these accidents were fatal According to the Waterloo have been The details of the for 193 people reported such as Jerry Lewis, John Wayne guidelines Although the new law will not Record, '"Surveys show that about far. and Walter Brennan. died final- injured so Kirby the new law have not yet been apply to those over 18, Syd Salmon, 25% of the province's cyclists regu-

The centred around in Las ized the quake, Vegas after a long battle by government and may president of the Cycling Club at larly wear a helmet." Peter Jorg,

the city of Dinar, 320 km south- with Parkinson's Disease. not be complete until next spring. A Laurier recommended to students, Chief ofSecurity at Laurier, said that

west of the nation's of ...An has been violation of the law capital Egytptian sheik will result in a "If you value your own safety wear he believes compliance to the new 6 in fine of $60 Ankara, measured on the found guilty the World Trade within the range to $500 a helmet" law depends on how strictly the Richter scale. Hirkey's last major Centre bombing. After a week of under the Highway Traffic Ad The Salmon also advised ensuring police reinforce the law. hit quake in 1992, killing over deliberations, a US federal jury fine is expected to be established that die helmet is fastened property. Chipman believed that police wED 800 found Sheik Omar next to four weeks. If the from people. Abdel-Rahman within the two the buckle on helmet is unfas- be dealing with the new law

...Israeli Minister Shimon and nine other militant Muslims Bill of the if the - with Foreign Sergeant Chipman, tened, or helmet is positioned an "educational viewpoint"

Peres that after 28 of of series of terrorist Waterioo said that the rather says years guilty a Regional Police, Improperly on head, the helmet the aim of educating people

occupation, his country will begin bombings and assassinations. The with laws like these "generally there wffl not protect the he-ad from injury. than punishing them.

6 October 4,1995 theCord OPINION

Editorial

the cord

Never getting to say goodbye

friend who second with for about five I have a phone call to make, a call to a childhood best I spent every years. I

what she's been I feel bad for not with her but we both haven't seen her for years. I have no idea doing. keeping up

fault. changed a lot and simply grew apart. Basically it's nobody's

that she's and then mutual friend mentions Every now and then I think of her and I hope alright. Every now a

and 111 call I've been about her for that she's run into her in Toronto I promise myself soon. thinking calling over two

not what to I've the to it back down because I don't years, but I'm sure say. even picked up phone, only put again

want to seem weak for needing to phone. I'm not sure if she'll be receptive, I'm not sure if I should even bother try-

WLUSP don't know. to thanks. ing to reach out to say...l Maybe just say

I have another call to make. A call to a wonderfiil person with whom I spent a wonderful year. It ended awk-

fault. wardly, I changed a lot and grew distant. Basically it was nobody's /I WilfridLaurier University Student Publication For I have the I knew it would be to talk but I felt there unfinished a year put off call. always strange again were

if he'd be didn't know what to tried to convince things that needed to be dealt with. I didn't know receptive. I say. I 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 (519) 884-2990 myself thatit was too soon, I would wait another year or two.

Fax: (519) 884-5596 It's too late.

(519) 884-5092 this and I'll to the I wanted to. I'll know if he Advertising: My friend died past weekend never have the chance say things never

wanted to hear from me or not. Maybe I'm just being selfish about not having the chance to ease my conscience or

have he better off without that call. I'll never know. my say; maybe was phone better. Being young seems to have a built in guarantee, that things will always be the same or possibly get Time is

"Watch out where the huskies have whole life in frontof at this but it's a false go, plentiful. Everyone says you your you age, guarantee.

and don't eat that snow." I had a school teacher who once a lesson about things before it is too late. I now you yellow public taught saying important

- Frank Zappa understand exactly what he meant. No guarantees. and distant when doesn't but when it does affect it Death always seems sad it affect your life directly, you really

clarifies the in life. This weekend I'll have things to be thankful for, and a few Editorial Board important things holiday many regrets

as well. Editor-in-Chief Scott Stinson And I'll have a phone call to make to a childhood friend. News Editor Kathy Cawsey Associate News Editor Tom Hrubes Editorial by Libbi Hood, Assistant Sports Editor the Cord the editori- Entertainment Editor Melanie Seal The opinions expressed in this editorialare those ofthe author, and do not necessarily reflect those of Staff, al StudentPublications. board or Wilfrid Lanrier Assistant Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter University

Sports Editor Pete Robinson Assistant Sports Editor Libbi Hood Features Editor David Popovich Production Manager Jeremy Kerr Letters Editor theTo Cord Staff Production Assistant Megan Barnard Classified Coordinator Vacant An is not viable for students. opt-in process a option our Circulation and Vacant Review too narrow Filing will not to to This year, we allow any students opt-in our Copy Editor Ameena Ahsan Dear Editor, extended health plan after they opted-out and signed a International Coordinator Lilian Schaer last week's is similar A correction and an opinion regarding waiver form. An opt-in option to telling an

auto that want to review ofthe new Varga album. insurance company you only pay Student Publications Staff if accident and their The correction: The author says that "Freeze... Don't insurance you have an require ser- Photo Manager Marion Hensel and Move" was the band's only "blip on the music radar," vices money. Photo Technician PhillKinzinger This about 37% students and that they are widely unknown. Their second single of opted-out of our Art Director Andrew White year last 45% "Greed" was in heavy rotation on MTVs Headbanger's plan down from year's opt-out percentage. Systems Administrator Vacant Ball and Muchmusic's Power 30. It was also featured on Excellent coverage, fair prices (rates did not increase a Public Relations Manager Vacant Beavis & Butthead (which is, like, cool). To heavy metal cent this year) and the new Laurier Village Phamacy on Advertising Manager Tracev Bowers we've the more fans everywhere (our numbers are less because campus are primary reasons why people Ad Sales Representatives Rob Hornick with the Students' weeded out the wimps and sent them to Tea Party con- remained Union plan. I am willing to Ad Production Manager Dave Kerth that health is the best in the certs) Varga is a breath of fresh air in the lame nineties. state our plan Ad Production Assistants Shannon Dowds among Cord of value Next time The opinion: I have come to the conclusion that Country in terms for money. you Vacant your Charlene LaCelle reviewers will not give a positive review to an album have a concern please contact myself, Vacant unless sounds like Inch Green Neil RVVAM insurance it Nine Nails, Day or or a representative, we are always Treasurer Jamie Hill to Young. willing answer your questions.

Get off the damn bandwagon and listen to albums for Brad Ross Board ofDirectors President their music, not for their ability to sound like the current Vice University Affairs President Susan Barry fad (which this school is Nine Inch Nails). Directors Karen Bula year P.S. A mosh pit does not indicate the quality of the music. Harvey Garman Steve Groenveld Welcome to The music does. Safety David Janzen Laurie Legault Paul Shayne Lidkea Kilpatrick Month The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a voting health body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cora plan subscription rates are $15.00 term for addresses within and the Opt-out per Canada, $18.00 for outside country. The Dear Editor, Cord is printed bv CanWeb Printing. The Cord is a memberof Canadian University Press. All commentary is strict-

the writer and does not reflect or The Affairs is excited in launch- ly the opinion 01 necessarily those of the Cord staff, the editorial board, WLU a blessing University Department Publications. Copyright © 1994 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario N2L ing Laurier's first Safety Month. The goal for the month

students Dear Editor, is to involve as many as possible to identify, pro- Contributors: Production Paul McLean, Sterling Lynch, Lauren Stephen, Tanya I am writing in response to the misinformed article vide solutions for and educate other students about a Ventura, Brandon Watson, Deanna Nascimben, Conor McCreery, Cheryl Spencer, entitled "Wanting out of opt-out" of safety concerns, some of which too often go Sean Moore, Mike Vencel, Connie Hawkins, Ann-Marie Smith, Eric Henry, range Stephanie Thomas, Roxanne Coppens, Steve Hunwicks, Jason Bioldeau, Karen During February 1994, the student undergradutate unnoticed. Leslie, Andrea Michelle Barrett, Kimberley Flood, Demeyere, Robin Whittaker, body voted in a school wide referendum in favour of an The initiative has started with mandatory residence Katherine Peter Ito. Harding, Jorg, Judge lance of extended health talks the with the opt-out style plan. For the first time at TUrret a presentations by Bacchus,

to Services Laurier students could say NO the additional cover- Safety Committee and the Student Department.

Bookstore, free age. Thanks to WLUSU and the Laurier Fox

to all first female Letters Policy Commencing September 1994 and again this 40 Safety whistles were given out year September, the students were billed by our Students' students who came to a presentation last week. Students

￿ AD letters mast and with the author's Union that like be signed submitted name, with the understanding those students who who did not receive a whistle and would one can student number and identification telephone number. could provide proof of alternative coverage would request one at the Student's Union Offices.

￿ Ail letters wili be with the author's receive credit their business Our As cards printed name. Letters can be a to account. insurance well, new safety including important phone

printed without the author's ofthe Editor- underwriters fact numbers have been first students and will name only by permission (in every reputable insurance compa- given to year in-Chief. of be student who would like ny) requires proof alternative coverage and students continue to handedout toany ￿ Letters must be received at noon for in that to waiver/release form. Continued by lbesday publication sign a on page 8

week's issue in print, on disk, or via e-mail to:

22cord@mach 1 .wlujca

￿Letters that submitted disk e-mail be are on or via must accompa- nied hard by a signed copy. ￿Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 words.

￿ The Cord the edit fetter. and reserves right to any Spelling grammar will not be corrected.

￿ The Cord reserves the letter in whole or in right to reject any pari, ° ~ that " is in violation ofexisting Gord policies-

theCord February 8,1995 7 (Opinion)

Vocal Cord By: Dave Popovich and Deanna Nascimben

hallucination have had What you as a

result ofthe paint fumes in the new SUB?

little green elves running out of the walls

Dave McLean

3rd Year Business

I could actually resell used books you

bastards.

Dave Colebrook

3rd Year Business

I thought I saw Elvis Presley using the pay

phone.

Lisa Smith

1 st Year Honours Biology

CordFeedback

with Where the hell was "Eating Out Stephanie Thomas

Joel and George"? I can't start the

the Pool fixed day without it. Nice to see Hockey

Martin Chartrand up...sorta. Check out Robitaille's and

Zubov's addresses.

1 love the Cord. It's awesome. Conor McCreery AaßbCcDdEeFfGgHhliJjKkLlMnl Robin Sinclair

I want to hear more about Mel's

Stick it to the Duo, Merv! underwear! Darryl Pring Will Stewart I Thanks to the Cord for their BOG I wish everyone would quit whining Teacher Educational Sessions

Election coverage. The student elec- and deal with it!

tions committee appreciate it. (Carina Andrus

J.M. Chartrand

Great football coverage Pete, but Mel! Hey 886-FOOT. Think aboutit. how about printing the CIAU Top 10 Wednesday, October 11,1995 Thursday, October 12,1995 I Deb Doupe rankings? Brent P. Lanthier Paul Martin Centre Theatre Auditorium I

Hunter's Hard Cord rocks. Better 12:30 -130 12:30 -1:30 I than sex with a bike courier. What happened to the Bag 0' p.m. p.m.

Anton Volcansek Crime? It used to be funny! It seems

the humourhas been "expended".

- Chad Hey Jer get some sleep. Moubray ￿ Prock ￿ Ottawa I Ann Huskinson

Am I on drugs or is there a wolf star-

the Pete Robinson an expert on ing at me when I stare at cover. ￿ lakehead ￿ Queen's I women's underwear? Never! Tim Silk

￿ Nipissing ￿ Western I Letters continued ￿ Toronto ￿ York I Continued from page 7

one. sentatlons focusing on various safety Upcoming events include an concerns will be held in the con- ￿ Windsor I AXfj c extensive safety audit during course during October.

October of Lauder's iden- affect all If campus to Safety issues us you ■ areas stu- s®* tify where the safety of a have a particular concern yew would

dent be would like may compromised for any like to be looked into, or

reason. Anyone interested in volun- more information about, please talk I teering for this audit is invited to sign to Brad Ross, Jay Wadden, assistant the up at WLUSU Offices, Volunteers to the VP University Affairs or will be contacted for further infor- Shannon Costigan, Safety i»iig I

mation. Coordinatorin the WLUSU offices.

Other include events various pre- lay Wadden

CfIgMTST^

-AlcokJ W ifafeiC / /// ! Method r d&±illdi-,o>-\ <-—/(////AWrp ~ L Same. fef*-. 112 ,7) -&Cpi«nJs.&**<;, s^ bv ///7/W C^ ' !<*> W+ «Hf*l *// &//&} n > (crafts* : #

8 February 8, 1995 theCord THIS SUMMER! controllers. for the whole deal. anxious to adopt and provide a MAKE $15,000 $100

Own Divide it ■ Fully furnished, 3 bedroom, spa- home for your unborn child, work- your own business amongst yourselves, peo-

bonuses. house in with licensed and it don't cost much! Call Scott at Free trips & cash Students, cious, split-level quiet ing government Asphalt sealing equipment pie,

tours to Pavement A 884-1970, ext. 3829. clubs to promote sun & ski neighborhood, suitable for visiting agency. Strictly legal and confiden- marking equipment.

etc. tial. Call Kim and at 1 success byjust graduated Montreal, Acapulco, Daytona, professor/family. Available Dec.l, Phillip (800) proven Ahhai

- students the 2 Guaranteed lowest prices for easy 1995 July 1 1996. % min drive to 263-0087. Laurier over past yrs. /ATlllOUnCwl 1 Iwlfl

1 Contacts and leads available. Low sale. Highest commissions. 1-800- universities. On bus route. full

599-5808. bath, 2 washrooms, fireplace, hard- I start-up. Call Steve (905) 607-3301. NUMUS CONCERTS presents

solo wood floors, garage, deck. lOa Anthony DeMare, piano.

Ed? FIRST YEAR the Canadian Premiere of Thinking about teaching phys. Nonsmokers, no pets. $900/mth ATTENTION Featuring still func- FLOORS! Fredorik flzewski's de Profundis. Want some experience? +utilities. 744-4713 1987 Chevette. Many parts

the thank for sale. October 6,1995. Maureen Needed: A leader for "fun tioning quite well, you. Best Super Nintendo system Friday

stu- at basketball, Forrester Hall, WLU. For info time" of a weekly program for TORONTO: WINTER SUBLET offer. Call Sue 886-1705. Includes football, hockey, more

for and Street two call 746-8437. dents grades 7-8. No experience Kinda-quiet guy seeks roommate Fighter games, plus

ideas month sub- required; must have inventive winter co-op term. Four

teens, let in beautiful downtown for games, must enjoy apart-

Volunteer one hour a week, dinner ment. Fully furnished, indoor/out- Yrv rvnirrnn

included. is a door exercise facilities, har- Logos weekly program pool, | f~| | | J {J r | { which inclu- at Knox Presbyterian Church bourside view, $450/month

builds relationships and fosters sive. Call Paul, 746-2491. XI A C

ItXV/ y mJ • growth in kids grades 1-13. Contact

Knox church 886-4150 or Elizabeth ONE BEDROOM available in student

Denbeigh 745-3667. house. October FREE! $25(Mnonth

+ utilities. Nov-April. Laudry, park-

Sun + Fun = Profit. Join Cananda' ing. Inquireies call (905) 735- 7846.

travel industry part-time. Earn OfflC© fIOUTS! income. Access industry perks. Cam.,!/./*

Home based business $ 149.00. Dei VICG EVERY WEDNESDAY

Lifetime 579- ft Membership. (519) ■ 9 00 A M - 1 00 Ottered

to become Word Service. An _ Hiring! opportunity a Processing Reports, . -

staff member form volunteer advisor or resumes, letters, mailing lists, i©i©pH©fl©2

You etc. Laser for Junior Achievement. can letters, on recycled paper. EXT. 6513 IbJjL \

gain excellent experience by helping printing, dictaphone, equation edit-

available. high school students run their own ing, optical scanning businesses. Audrey 884-7123.

No experience is necessary and

week. PROOFREADER Please B you only need one night a bring appropriate documents:

Call Kathi Smith Diane with or Proofreader English degree

Brunette at 576-6610. and8 years experience will correct J§

in errors spelling, grammar, punctu- AlmadinaEgyptian Cuisine. ation and clarity. Books, proposals, JmsjtA honest, dedi- !■ Mature, pleasant, reports,newsletters,papers, I Ii f[ Vi k

cated wanted, brochures. On and a Z ,n waiter or waitress campus pick up Part-time, apply within at 150 delivery. 725-5308. s~y •

Ave. @ St. 888 - ll 8 University Phillip if 1Tf* C\X XXf I V \\ vull v 9697. Wordprocessing, desktop publish- !| 112 I to Students: Earn up $10,000 with ing, proofreading. Experienced T ! 1 J\l 4fx C-

College Pro as a summer teacher and free- manager graduate English U V U lliUClllS

in 1996. For more information call lance writer. Reasonable rates, free p

(519) 439-7437 or fax resume to consultation. TOf* Ol 11* IWI UUI (519) 675-1980. Deadline is

September 30, 1995 for this round Experienced Tutor available in cal- 66 O 5? IjS i -4-^zixxrC l jP ofinterviews. cuius, math, and physics German. ■ V> [Olj I close to University. Call Mike at 886- j® Sell Sun/Ski trips for 2928. !'. great : | Christmas/Slack Week ' gl.

and bonuses. l Earn free trip Bigger Need some help with proofing \l the the the bonuses. 11 group, greater essays or with writing/updating your

Call - Heather or A 1 @ 1-800-661 resume? Do you want job interview 11

2m aca" a1746 " 0648 ' * 3 Teams of 4 Students LCIT |j Rent • Monday, Oct. 16, 6 Wanted I pm

1 room available in 6 house

St. Call 821-113. A is Hickory options? loving young couple ?

SI ji Mall Administration Office

til West Place 1 ■HttpfHKpftliHHppMiHEJH mount Erbst Til

IX) 886-6260 Westmount I ~~1 § . rnk Place |

| : S University Ave.

* in" ixtowiN WW IN LAYWn'S TEFWS:'H«wn» HAit l\ CM © -JP 'n/QO" H tflfcsmstJ WtSEif atse-ro tMe £eM>(Ncren vr) /(&P #(^ViSWUiZESU(£eSS

«• A CA6

s 112 W\ "V" - • ^wt^e^A^oME.^ Tiylrrt I siftsss& j\ eHj. Y u^H EAt3 J IV. "T® Be A Little ALMP)

theCord October 4,1995 9 FEATURE

WLU on-line to the information superhighway

the The world has become a pretty small place thanks to power

and versitility ofthe computer. This week Cord Features paves he the via wayfor a brieftour of information superhighway

the incredible realm known as the Internet.

Exploring new worlds

KIMBERLEY FLOOD

Cord Features

I had heard so much about it that I hadto try it despite the warnings from my friend that it

mine that it could was highly addictive, never become an expensive habit. It was just that I had heard so much aboutit from other people and various magazine and newspaper articles

that I couldn't resist I went over to a friend's

I houseto try it for myself. I must admit, was a

and bit clum- bit apprehensive, quite frankly a STINSON

I tried to "surf the net" for the first sy, as time. If you're not sure what you're reading about, SCOTT

talk to a younger sibling and they will proba- bly go on aboutit for hours. PICTURE: I must warn you, however, that you will

probably feel a bit archaic because of how lit-

tle know about the to also discovered that the Internet kinds of and friends from you net compared to a 10 American university and spoke people from I was all new interesting

to bill could send around the world. even date on the year old pip squeak. across the US about Shakespeare (this is going save my phone as I People

to international recent talk show were What I was surprised to discover was how rather neat as an English major). quick or long messages my Internet; on a they

to to each other who had easy it was to access the information super But it got even better as I was able to friends (last time that I spoke my girlfriend introducing couples

highway. I quickly became mesmerized by the download recipes, hiking maps, travel and in Japan it cost me $50 for a 15 minute con- been dating on the Internet for months and

information who had metin amount of that was readily avail- weather information as well as some great versation). even years actually never per- able at I had to libraries It also to Because of WLU bit You have to admit my fingertips. access computer games. was possible read my student computer son. Seems a geeky?

the TIME other I that it's lot know whether and files from around world to help me magazine, as well as some period- account, had free access to contact my a cheaper to get or

with and There with I This I sent in not want to out my assignments hobbies. icals, and a video audio card, could friends. morning my girlfriend you even spend an evening

watch while decid- I with were boards that I could hook up to that dealt movie and show previews Holland a new joke and as told her what was a person rather than going on one of

of includ- what do this weekend. last couldn't afford those horrible blind dates. the some of specifically with my topics interests, ing I was going to up to weekend; I definitely By way,

due Information before to and tell her that! these net dates rather hot. On these ing my currently assignment. I tapped was flipping my eyes so phone can get that in into a English literature chat line with an fast that it was almost hypnotic. All of my friends will tell you that I may boards I discovered you had to mail a

the of those to that have best of intentions mailing let- photocopy of your I.D. prove you're

ters but more often friends consid- before would let have I write, my over 18 or 21 they you

the arrival of letters miraculous to er my as access them

events. If you're thinking about signing on to a

But the Internet gets even better. I remem- Internet provider outside of the university

ber last Christmas when I was to neck there few that to up my are a things you might want

in and how have lot of lines to papers exams wondering I was keep in mind. Do they a

to Christmas done going get my shopping avoid an aggravating busy signal? Youwant a the and Jumbo video between 7-11 (needless 10 to 1 ratio. How many hours of on-line time

to most of do receive month? from say people thought my gifts as you a They differ know of "interesting"). I don't a single univer- company to company. Also, make sure that

student who has the time to do the is sity "gift you know what the hourly rate if you go

at time of the school allotted time; It is shopping thing" any year. over your they vary widely. Internet all that However, the has changed that. also important you go with a reputable

At 2 in the while is morning my paper company that has good technical support,

I mail find printing, can access thousands of order otherwise you could your Internet experi-

from the than companies around world. Most of ence to be more frustrating rewarding.

these companies will even gift wrap and ship I definitely think that the Internet is going

24 I lot my purchase within hours. accessed one to replace the mail system as well as a of in with has record company California over a mil- long distance phone companies. The net

lion CD's in stock! The record company in even gone audio with audio servers that you

With I have Germany was as equally impressive. can literally talk to. My husband and

3 million various WEB over people accessing decided for our joint Christmas present this

sites worldwide services will on a daily basis, and year, we sign on to an Internet company

is that time products becoming available growing in can offer each of us 45 hours of net

and bounds leaps a month for a reasonable price. Will we

However, my friend was right. Surfing the become Internet geeks that will never leave be and before be net can quite addictive you our terminal? I don't think so, but we will

know it Internet you've signed on to an com- able to meet some new people, get some new You could become ofthe who pany. one many games and maybe some help with our assign- have become locked their ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW WHITE up in room meeting ments.

10 October 4,1995 theCord —(Feature)

Battle of the network stars

Cyberporn vs. cybercensorship

Wide restrictions In the the best MICHELLE DEMEYERE Pressed up behind her is the image transcends the Laurier student in World Web, any meantime, source

Cord Features of another naked I the baseball The real fear lies the internet the of for folk woman. Now am cap. placed on by protection our younger the and would with the the Three o'clock in morning completely awake. with the parents and teachers with Canadian government act as remains parent, the the teacher and the I'm sitting in library computer Pornography has evidently computers at home and at school, a restriction across board. community.

at last that is that this stuff will fall Canadian stan- With this in mind I return to. room groggily typing away a taken on a new form, one just as easily Forcing censorship my others the other in the minute essay. Two are in surprisingly popular and even easier into the hands of our younger and dards on 40 internet user essay patiently waiting com- the countries would be wel- the colourful room apparently doing same to access. It's soft, it's hard, it caters more impressionable population. surely not a puter room. Passing by

to fetish facet of The internet in its monitor a second time, I notice it is thing. We pay no special attention just about every and For the sake of kids on comput- come move. for the odd dis- and the in to each other except curiosity. ers censorship of the internet is now accessibility variability is now occupied by the same guy

tracted glance from our work. Then, Most disturbing about cyberporn a hot and contentious issue. Let's pearl of modern technology, of the blue baseball cap. He looks up

student, an is sidetrack real look at the and of the free market- and smiles and I wonder if his one ordinary looking its ability to any implications. Fortunately democracy shyly

in sweatshirt and and kind of It defies the out and the internet is three forces not brief absence was the guy a jeans a censorship. unfortunately, an place; very powerful inspired by

baseball of to the backward cap, gets up reach magazine shelves, the age international information super- likely be keen on governmental previous image on screen. his terminal multi- Great. Now but think accidentally leaving on. restrictions at the seedy adult movie highway. It is vital for communica- regulations. As such, the I can't help

too to stores to when down at Moments later, I get up and perhaps worst of all limi- tions ranging from investigation of faceted issue promises be full of twice sitting a public

shake the cob- tations materials hard-core internation- debate. terminalwith stretch and sleepy on so academia's archives, to ongoing juicy a sticky keyboard...

webs from my mind. Strolling past (paedophilia, sadomasochism and al banking and top secret national

vacant terminal I catch abusive i.e. basic defense the lighted a violent, sex your planning.

a or Paul Bernardo that Not is it difficult : of the Features Presentation glimpse not of prompt sign stuff) they are only technically part

written text but of a full size image only to be found illegally to stamp out certain transactions on Write for the CORD

of a naked woman, legs spread, and underground. a vast public network such as the

half the concern eyes closed, masturbating. Naturally, largely

"THE MOST EXHILARATING AMERICAN

Atyourservice MOVIE SINCE 'PULP FICTION'!" -Stephen Farber, MOVIELINE

a ANDREW WHITE is somewhat irrelevant, because most

Cord Features Internet users will immediately delete

You have sunk $200 into that mail or from just any posting coming "NICOLE KIDMAN "JL JL JL JL

brand new modem for .aol.com or " high speed .compuserve.com any- ' GIVES THE BEST jFg|| your desktop computer. Suddenly way. ™ ,T

tion now is: which one is for of online services and for you? ness yearn

If " you are using Windows 95, something more. 112 "NICOLE KIDMAN System 7.5 or OS2 Warp, the choice That something more comes in r

has been for MAKES A partially made you. the form of Internet Service "NICOLE KIDMAN If W- | A installation, these Upon operating sys- Providers, also called ISPs. ISPs give SPECTACULAR BID KILLER I DELIVERS A Bk. J| 112 I tems present with irons to their nothing but the software you you you FOR SUPERSTARDOM PERFORMANCE. I VB M I own online services. need to connect and a phone number 112 offers chance dial. odd doesn't Win 95 you a to to The ISP even offer check out the Microsoft Network, servicing, but generally most will at blends film, video If brilliantly Microsoft's all singing, all dancing least help you get connected.

in answer to CompuServe. Keep mind Windows users will then use Serial and written with dark and headlines." fk half the \ when you connect that ser- Line Internetworking Protocol (SUP) * -Stephen Saban, details H% piercing humor vice is Construction. under System 7.5 and Macintosh and Unix users will I|||

has software to connect to eWorld, a use Point to Point Protocol (PPP) to This nice service that "OUTRAGEOUSLY movie is truly little uses a commu- place their computers directly on the r 'To Die For'." nity metaphor; that is to get your mail Internet as if it was physically on a ENTERTAINING J 0 Z,-Guy Flatley, COSMOPOLITAN you click on the icon of the post office, network. Sound technical? It can be.

to click the ofthe software go shopping, shopping Most you will be using mall. Warp has Advantis, a true will be in a stage of it's life called

Internet Service Provider. Warp's ser- "beta," meaning itworks but it proba- MOST WICKED vices can also be dial configured to up bly isn't totally bug free. Some of AND WICKEDLY other Internet COMEDY IN AGES. service providers. these programmes even force you to PACFn If you object to having to trouble edit configuration files witha text edi- . . NICOLE KIDMAN Kl Nicole Kidman shoot semi-incomprehensible config- tor, instead ofthe dialogue boxes most GOOD AS SHE uration files, eWorld or Microsoft ofus are used to delivers . BEAUTIFUL AND Network are If While ISPs not of good choices. you are the choice want to offer ben- keep your options open, you most neophytes, they many also have CompuServe, Delphi and efits over online services. You have a

Prodigy and America Online to world of software at _ your disposal Patr-.cfc Sfoner, PBS FLICKS - Bill Diehl, ABC RADIO NETWORK choose from. instead of being locked into one set of Most ofthese services date back to tools. For instance you can browse the '80s early (America Online was the web with Web Explorer, Netscape, then called Quantum Link) when Mosaic or even the venerable text NICOLE KIDMAN everyone with their was dialing up programme WWW.

Apple lies and Commodore 645. You can use Eudora, WinELM or Neither Delphi or Prodigy seem to pine to answer email. You can also have TO DIE FOR moved far since then. easily view Quicktime movies and lis-

CompuServe and America Online are ten audio files with much greater now All she wanted was a little attention. completely graphical (using ease. Most users are also able to

System 7.1 or Windows 3.1 or high- drum up their own support services

er). America Online software be in with can by luring Computing students COLUMBIA PICTURES Fioifc found in most computer magazines offers of pizza or Chinese food. i. Mkn»»RANK FILM DISTRIBUTORS UMIRA ZISKIN M* if!» SANT while iyGUSVAN CIM Information of which route (CompuServe Regardless you s«,ii 9: NICOLE KIDMAN 'TO DIE FOR" JOAQUIN PHOENIX nIITT DILLON "i DANNY ELFIN SSJIATHAN TAPUNni JOSEPH M. CABACCIOLO Manager) comes with Warp and can take, online is a getting yourself good "" be .hSWJOVCE MAVIRD """"fBUCK HENRY ™"BUUKA ZISKIN "SGUSMSAIBSH SSIKI ordered from itself. will and CompuServe route. You open yourself your to OISTRtBUTtD THROUGH COLUMBIA TRiStaR FILMS Of CANADA The Subject Classification benefit of these world of services are; PC up to a new resources, high reliability, easy to use software entertainment and people. More and great The all ofthese support problems are information on any or ser- myriad. Many services come at an vices can be found on the Web additional charge. On CompuServe through the USENET. this even includes Internet emaiL This

theCord October 4,1995 11 SPORTS

Football Aftermath

mouth shut. Any extra motivation, Sean Reade and Jason McKibbon

to that He also was instrumental a very talented secondary runs. in already made McConnell and the holding TE Stu Beak to just 50 yards

look rest of his receiver corps bad, receiving, including a huge stop late

disastrous for Western in the fourth may prove quarter.

leave receiver with He deserves and the cocky definitely a shot as

his OUAA all-star, enough egg on face to cover up an perhaps consider-

his cute little goatee. ation as an All-Canadian, but fifth that The Quarterback(s) year players are starting for the

Kevin McDonald showed again first time rarely get considered in

Saturday that Laurier fans need not the, at-times, political selection

be too deprassed about the gradua- process. Around the tion of Bill Kubas. Posting good but League

numbers he rallied when York continued another not great streak on the Hawks their the when he had to as played weekend they beat

the 10-6. Waterloo best game offensively since sea- Guelph hammered

York. 33-6 and Toronto shutout MCKAY son opener against Mac In fact McDonald outplayed his Windsor 12-0. The condensed SCOTT counterpart and fellow Kingston league standings are as follows: he National resident, Warren Goldie. If con- Rankings

and 1. Laurier PICTURE: tinues to improve every game respect his limits he could establish 2. Western

the Saskatchewan himself as the premier QB in 3.

Ottawa league this year. The veteran quar- 4.

Zach Treanor into the end two conversion. terbacks the 5. high-steps zone on a point across league, namely Calgary

Mario Sturino and Warren Goldie 6. Acadia

C. PETE ROBINSON DB Rob Underhill is still atleast a with Laurier defenders, then follow- have not performed as expected, 7. B.

8. McGill Cord Sports week away but Jason Vandale ing it up with a very mediocre game, particularly in big games. 29 St. Injuries should return Thursday against he hurt his team when he took a Passing for 251 yards on 9. F.X.

There from in the of the 10. Manitoba were no major injuries dur- Mac. blocking the rear penalty forty attempts biggest game

the David Chad SB Chris from the The fif- far, would that in OUAA ing game. Sguignia RB Kennedy, yards away play. year so suggest Standings infraction the McDonald has the GP W L P bruised his spleen and was sidelined Smits and G Paul Dietrich are out teen yard pushed ability to perform from the those Laurier 4 4 0 8 for the remainder of the contest. for the year, with Kennedy possibly Mustangs back deep in in big games. for the best Western 4 3 16 With the short week, he will likely returning for the playoffs. Golden Hawk end and they were A guy making a run

the The Classless Act able to defense this is S McMaster 4 2 2 4 miss game against Mac. only get a field goal, giving player on year

suffered horrific the Hawks he is Toronto 4 2 2 4 LB Dan Caza a Mustangs WR Tom McConnell a huge psychological lift. Wade Sergentson. Although

turned solid for If there match for almost certain robbed of his Waterloo 4 2 2 4 leg injury in practice last week. He in a performance is a return to get

all due 4 2 2 4 broke his leg in a freak accident the Donkey's Ass award this week- these two teams this year, and in spot in the selection process, he York

has had all-star like far. Windsor 4 13 2 during a routine drill. He is definite- end. likelihood there will be, McConnell an year so

out for the In addition to be well advised to his On he made 4 0 4 0 ly year. constantly jawing might keep Saturday big plays on Guelph WLU grad ready for the world

GREG CHOWNYK national squad. always have strong showings at consists of 300 km of cycling, 12-15 help defray some of his costs. He is

Cord Sports "It the to Hi really was a breakthrough world competitions. km in pool and 30 km of run- very thankful Brick Brewery,

For Mexico is for said with most, Cancun, a vaca- year me," Donia, who "My goal in the triathlon is to ning. This no doubt puts him in good Impact/Athletic Direct, Taste

tion paradise for relaxing and soak- his great season has qualified to break the two hour mark and to be shape for the 1.5 km swim 40 km Jammers and Saucony Shoes whose

the hot But for Laurier in the elite of the three bike and the 10 km distances has made it ing up sun. compete or professional one top Canadians," run financial support possi-

Mike his to Cancun class next Donia is set to for that at for him to in the grad Donia, trip season. says who depart triathletes face the Worlds. ble compete past.

will All his Cancun 30. The With Cancun involve some fierce and grueling of feats are truly amazing on October duathlon competition is com- a good showing in

competition. he didn't race his first He has put off his future of of a 10km a 40km bike and him next we considering plans posed run, turning pro year ,

The 24 year-old Donia qualified triathlon until 1993. He had only becoming a teacher or preferably a and another skm run. just might see Donia in Sydney,

this summer at order for when past to represent run cross country WLU when a chiropractor, in to train Although excited about the Australia in the year 2000 Canada both the World Duathlon fellow Jeff at student, Beech got him Cancun. upcoming competition, Donia is still triathlon will be recognized as an and World Triathlon week for Championships interested in the triathlon. Ever A typical training Donia currently looking for sponsors to official Olympic sport.

to be held November 5 and 11 since then Donia has been hooked

in Cancun. respectively on the growing sport. For those who are unaware, "I find it to have a great social Puck set to on NHL season triathlon consists of and love the drop swimming, atmosphere competi-

and cycling running, which are tion," commented Donia, who still

raced without this with the consecutively any plans to compete year

break in between. The duathlon is Laurier Triathlon Club, which he SCOTT CULLEN Colorado Avalanche Suter, Steve Smith and Eric

similar, but does not involve established last Cord Sports Newcomers: Weinrich four- any year. TYoy Murray, C; John is as good as any

Donia is clear when asked The NHL season starts for real this Landon swimming. very Slaney, D; Wilson, LW; some in the league. Donia is what his three disci- fairly confident heading strongest ofthe weekend, so this week we provide a Janne Laukkanen D. Weakness: The Hawks are not get-

into the Worlds after enjoying an plines is. "Running is rundown on all need to Bob Bassen, Paul and it is difficult to clearly my quick you Departed: C7LYV; ting any younger the incredibly successful season on strongest. I usually place in the top know about the Western MacDermid, RW predict what kind of impact aging

President's Choice Triathlon Circuit. five in the running section." Conference. Strength: Eight forwards tallied ten players like Denis Savard, Bernie The P.C. series is the inde- While he considers be Detroit Red largest running to Wings or more goals last season. NichoDs, and Brent Sutter will have series in the his he the pendent currently strength, realizes that Departed: Shawn Burr LW/C; Mark Weakness: Still in search of an this season.

world. cycling is his weak spot. In the past, HoweD; Mike Krushelnyski LW; offensive defenseman. Outlook: The Blackhawks have a

in twelve of thirteen he has with the local Six be Competing cycled Ziggy's Strength: proven scorers up Outlook: The Avalanche are still sound team with potential to

races, he won his 20-24 old dub to this section front and a of additional and have of have one year Cycling improve couple young an array offen- great if the aging players

in six of those races. ofthe race. threats on the blueline the sive The real left them. age group gives weapons. questions remain good season in Donia also his in the His time won group spent on the Hawks Wings excellent offensive depth. about whether Stephane Fiset or Vancouver Canucks

Ontario triathlon and duathlon swim team has Weakness: The have too LW; definitely improved Wings Jocelyn Thibault are enough Newcomers-Alexander Mogilny,

series. In total Donia raced sixteen his to forwards that, tal- between RW; swimming. Donia is quick many although the pipes to win in the Mike Ridley, C; Jim Sandlak, times this summer. point out that coach Dean Boles ented, are too small to bang in the playoffs. LeifRohlin, D.

His amazing summer was obvi- deserves credit for his improved corners. Chicago Blackhawks Departed: Geoff Courtnall, LW; his fourth times the water. This Outlook: C. ously highlighted by place in year Donia The Wings have made few Newcomers: Eric Daze, LW; Bob Sergio Momesso, RW; Mike Peca, National has finish at the Triathlon race returned to serve as an assistant changes since claiming The Probert, RW; David Williams, D Strength: Alexander Mogilny, Pavel and his in Quebec in July second coach to the Hawk swimmers. President's Trophy and they only Departed: Dirk Graham, RW; Gerald Bure, Russ Courtnall, Martin

finish in in Welland Donia realizes that the in the place August at competi- need a little tinkering order to Diduck,D Gelinas and Bret Hedican are

Both of these tion will be the the National Duathlon. tough. Besides Canada, challenge for Motor City's first Strength: The Hawks' top four speed leaders in the Canucks thor-

results secured him spots on the the United States and Australia Cup since 1955. defensemen Chris Chelios, Gary Continued on page 14

12 October 4,1995 theCord —{Sports) Hawkey rookies smoked

JIM DONNELLY thrashed soundly by the rival third.

whole of the Cord Sports Waterloo Warriors 9-3. The purpose game

to Coach The Hawks men's hockey team The Hawks, who looked unorga- according Wayne Gowing

nized the first whis- showcase the team's rookie embarked on the beginning of and sloppy from was to

made number of talent, and to "see what kids have their 1995-96 season; a season tle, a costly errors

with and foundthemselves down 4- the to at the that is very much filled early ability play university level." doubts and uncertainty. 1 at the end of one period. Gowing, although obviously

consisted the second with the game's out- In a game that largely During they disappointed

said that "there of the team's first and second appeared to get back on track, cut- come, also were

the Hawks the to two but some but to year talent, were ting deficit goals, bright spots, say any-

Waterloo's offense proved itself too thing other than thatwould be inap-

for the Laurier's rookies took it on the powerful inexperienced propriate."

Hawks. The Bella, Martin Kearns and chin on Sunday, losing 9-3 to Warriors added two Tony

Waterloo more in the second and three in the Steve Hopper scored for Laurier.

I z o £ I! Laurier !» Rugby

LU

' | Club Varsity7 a WLU 36 WLU 31 UofT 10 UofT 3

SocHawks beat 'Stangs

MATTHEW LAUDER In a game which saw Brock-

Cord Sports count three goals in the first half, it

Men could be easy to assign blame to the

With a weekend of tough soccer defense and midfieid. However the

behind them and only taJdng three offence only managed four shots on

of a possible six points, title Men's goal throughout the entire game.

Soccer Team will be analyzing the As a consolation Laurier was

results to find wit what exactly they aide tobring the offensive efforts to a

did and the second half right wrung. close in It was too

On Saturday, the Men's team little-too late though and the final

cracker of match ended 3-nl opened up a a up

against Western, eventually dealing The Soccer Hawks are next in

a loss to the previously-unbeaten action tonight against Mac in

Mustang's side. The Hawks had an Hamilton. The men are in a four-

early gift in the first half when Steve way battle for the feial three playoff Antolcic down die the was brought at spots and Mac game is the first of the box the fifth of five matches. top 18 yard in very important A

minute. Nelson Peneles converted win or tie against the Marauders

whenhe beat the Western keeper on would be a bonus as they head Into

fee side action right . against thethree teams they With the ball traveling well from will be competing against for the

end to end, Western pushed hard to remaining playoffpositions.

try and find the equalizer. Lauder's Women H'' •." *. : /' : . :-: \.-t/ &•:■<.;.•. showed defense good composure to The winning streak is over.

fee 12th minute when Roto O'Brien Women's Soccer team

robbed Wfestem of a sure god. Not played down to their opposition this

" ■•: • • I:: to be ->.••; outdone, Louis Fonseca repeat- weekend and the aid result was two ■ :: : ed fee same daring clear in the 73rd scoreless draws against Western minute rescuing the sprawled keep- and Brock. 1 MmW I er MattMcCaU. "I'm said very disappointed," It was a game where LaurierV Head Coach Barry MacLean. backrow and midfield came up big, "Overall (it was) a lack of enthusi-

eventually securing the vital 3 asm, we simply didn't do enough to points. win"

The same could not be said of The two points keep the Women

Sunday, when Brock came in for a safely in first place but the inconsis- visit to Lanrier's Stadium. tent play is concerning for a team University ■ pPiPpMipig^;, ■ I The first collapse came early in the that has all die tools to win it all, and sth minute when Brock led an will need aB of them to dojust that

impressive drive up the field and They, like the Men, are in

the for eventually deposited ball in the Hamilton tonight a game against

back ofthe net. Mac.

Hawks of the Week

Men: Grant-football-1 Hodds-Soccer- Corey st year Women: Lorraine

Corey electrified the Golden Hawk 1st year Football program when he returned Lorraine, a first year student from one punt for in a touchdown and Burlington, was a bright spot an another return set up a field goal as otherwise disappointing perfor- the Hawks beat Western 25-22 to mance for the Women's Soccer team

assume the #1 national weekend. Coach ranking. over the Barry

Corey s performance MacLean is so far this year counting heavily on has landed him in good shape to be Lorraine to be a key contributor in for nominated the Peter Gorman midfield for a team that has all the 1Vo Phy as the nation's top rookie. tools to challenge for the National

Championship.

theCord October 4,1995 13 (Sports) NHL preview continued

i .1 n i l of talent and plethora young appear Continued from 12 Leafs Weakness: Arturs Irbe might have any significant injuries. page standing seasons for the to the track. and to be on right the San Outlook: The Kings are aging, rest of the is out his welcome in stable ofskaters. win because the lineup worn oughbred Weakness: The Ducks were last in and it will take one last Great Jose net. broke, Weakness: The Canucks a little full of marks. are question and to make both play penalty killing One season from Wayne power Outlook: ft will take a total team covet a Flames soft on defense, so they big, Calgary last year, which shows if the Sharks to have the playoffs. percentages who Newcomers: Dean Evason, C; Jamie effort are any bruising defenseman can con- Ducks the maturing process this team trick Anaheim Might Viitakoski, LW; hope of turning the upset hat in trol the traffic in front of Kirk Huscroft, D; Vesa must through. this Newcomers: Nikolai Tsulygin, D; go C; Stillman, C. the first round of the playoffs McLean. Marty Murray, Cory Outlook: Ducks' has Chad Kilger, C. management Robert C; Joel Outlook: The Canucks are definitely Departed: Reichel, year. drafted wisely and just needsto wait Departed: Stephan Lebeau, C; Tom Wes Walz, RW; Nikolai Edmonton Oilers going to be exciting, but they must Otto, C; for their to some Kurvers, D youngsters gain Frank Musil, Newcomers: Curtis Joseph, G; Jason find a number one center who can Borschevsky, LW; be and will be While not a experience they compet- C; Mats Lindgren, C; Strength: youth may with the Russian Rockets. Strength: The young goaltending Bonsignore, keep up but not this the Ducks do have a itive, year. Kidd Rick Miroslav Satan, LW strength now, St Louis Blues tandem of Trevor and

but Corson, LW; fain Newcomers: Dale Hawerchuk, C; Tabaracci is outstanding often Departed: Shayne D. be. Eraser, C; Ryan McGill, Shayne Corson, LW; GeofT Courtnall, needs to Flames have too Strengths: Glen Sather has assem- LW; Grant Fuhr, G; Brian Noonan, Weakness: The forwards offensive defensemen and bled many good, young RW; Chris Pronger, D; Jay Wells, many matter another and it to be simply a Jamie Rivers, D. Kidd should expect barrage appears

before into a of shots after night. of time they develop Departed: Brendan Shanahan, LW; night team. -JWQmls Unless find a Steve Duchesne, D; Glenn Anderson, Outlook: they can playoff

defenseman, the Flames' Weaknesses: With so many young LW; Todd Elik, C. physical Fronlßow to will be players, the Oilers need a veteran The Blues have deep post-season appearance Strength: » R C 8 T A a B * T brief. take charge and provide leadership. pockets which has provided them characteristically Dallas Outlook: The Oilers are most likely with fantastic depth. Stars

Bob Bassen, C; Nikolai still a Pool Weakness: With all the money the Newcomers: year away. Cord Sports Hockey Jets Borschevsky, RW; Jere Lehtinen, Winnepeg Blues were throwing around, they ft* defensemen, Rules: The rules are one category, except Newcomers: Mike Stapleton, C; Ed simple, pick player per could have landed themselves a bet- RW. the end of the season is the winner where pick two. The most points at "Special" Evason, C; Mike Ronan, RW; lain Fraser, C; Deron you ter goaltender than Fuhr. Departed:Dean have criteriafor pointallotment (see bottom). Shane RW. categories, (ie: referees) specific to LW. Quint, D; Doan, Outlook: The Blues have gone McPhee, with each score either added Plusrtainus ratings will count for each entry, player's or With at the helm, Departed: Stephane Quintal, D; lengths to make this a champi- Strength: Gainey great the subtracted at the end of yean Mike's and led the Hatcher Thomas Steen, C. onship team, but with Iron by towering One duo of entry per student the it's defense. Strength: The electrifying tendency to rub his star players brothers, Oct 7 feedbackbooth or Cord Offices****** and Alexei ****Deadline to Curtis the Weakness: of the Stars' key Teemu Selanne wrong way (see Joseph), Many the underside of six Zhamnov is about all the Jets can Blues should have traded for some forwards are on Name: their and that could to be a pin hopes on. team chemistry. feet, prove of in Weakness: Defense 'nufsaid Toronto Maple Leafs problem in the new age giants Category 1-Centers Category 2-Right Wingers Outlook: Season will oe over in D; the NHL. early Newcomers: Larry Murphy, Buflalo la S.Fedorov, Detroit 2a A Mogilny, Stars are not a April. Sergio Momesso, RW; Dimitri Outlook: The great lb. D. Gilmour, Toronto 2b. B.Hull, St Louis team Los Kings Mike Hudson, C; Rob team, but may be a playoff Angeles Yushkevich, D; Montreal lc. W. Gretzky. LA 2c. M. Reechi, Dafoe, G; Dmitri reliable defense and a Newcomers: Byron Zettier, D due to a Id. M. Lemiuex, Pittsburgh 2d. J.Jagr, Pittsburgh in Andy Khristich, LW; Aki Petteri Berg, D; Departed: Mike Ridley, C; Dmitri proven veteran goalie le. E Lindros, Philly 2e. T. Selanne, Winnipeg Jamie Storr, G. Mironov, D; Moog. C; of the San Jose Sharks Departed: Dan Quinn, Randy Strength: Pat Burns is one top Category 3-Defensemen (Choose 2) Crowder, RW. the and Newcomers: Dave Brown RW; Burridge, LW; Troy coaches in league always S. New 3a C. Chelios, Chicago 3£ Stevens, Jersey Rob Viktor Kozlov C Shean Donovan, Strength: Marty McSorley, to do lot with a little. LW, seems a 3b. R. Bourque, Boston 3g. P. Housley, Calgary Blake, and the rookie Weakness: The Leafs have not been Departed: Sergei Makarov, RW; Darryl Sydor 3c. A Maclnnis, St. Louis 3h. B. Leetcli, N.Y. Ranges of D; gives the Kings the makings able to find a defensive defenseman Sean Cronin, Vyacheslav Berg 3d. KHatcher, Dallas 3i. G.Suter, Chicago a dependable defense to match against the opposition's top Butsayev, corps. 3e. P. Coffey. Detroit 3j. L Murphy, Toronto Mike Weakness: The Kings' injury woes forward line. Strength: Sandis Ozolinsh and

the leaders the last season served notice that they Outlook: Doug Gilmour, Mats Sundin Rathje are on youth- Category 4-LWingers Category 5-Rookies do have the to survive and Felix Potvin must have out- ful, and talented, blueline. just not depth 4a B. Shanahan, Hartford 5a S. Koivu, Montreal

4b. L Robitaille, Pittsburgh sb. B. Holzinger, Buflalo

4c. J. LeClair, Philly sc. V. Kozlov, San Jose

4d. K. Stevens, Boston sd. M Lindgrin, Edmonton

4e. P. Bure, Vancouver se. J. O'Neill, Hartford

Category 6-Referees Category 7-Goons

6aAVanHellemond 7a S. McCarthy, Calgary

6b. T. Gregson 7b. S. Grimson, Detroit

6c. K. Fraser 7c. T. Domi, Toronto

6d. D. Koliarski 7d. S. Churla, Dallas

6e. R. Schick 7e. B. Probert, Chicago

Category 7-Wild Card Category 8-Goalies

8a S. Zubov, N.Y. Rangers 9a. Montreal

Bb. D. Andreychuk, Toronto 9b. Toronto

Bc. A Cassels, Hartfond 9c. St. Louis

Bd. S. Zubov, Winnipeg 9d. NewJersey

Be. J. Sakic, Denver 9e. NYR

Tiebreaker: will this The Leafe score goals year

* 20 thatReferees land Refs: points for every public uproar or league reprimand

themselves in.

** Goons: Goons will have one quarter of their penalty minutesadded to their point

totaL

*** Wild Card: Pick one, point totals apply like other categories.

**** Goalies: Pick one team, ten pewits for each shutout by any goalie. -BK PRIZES - I

Jh

J. '* BILLIARDS INC.

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Now Licensed Lgfc 725-1589

14 October 4,1995 theCord ENTERTAINMENT

Juliana Hatfield asserts herself

AARON HUNTER fathom much of their meaning. It was inter-

her Cord Entertainment esting to see new approach to playing the

and her small hands "I love you, Juliana!" screams the anonymous guitar: aggressive hard,

this not out endless of fan. Her wry smile suggests that is tiring a seemingly supply

the first time tonight that a stranger has Gibsons. She was certainly in charge; not only but of the and pledged their undying affection. Actually, it of the band, stage the room

isn't. "Yeah, I know, I rule," she replies, turn- and everything else.

After show's of storm and ing back to her guitar after only a very slight an entire worth

it not Hatfield decided to close with cathar- pause. Watching and listening, does stress, a

take long torealize how she has managed to tic bang, perhaps in an attempt to wear out

drag most of the audience into a state of the enthusiastic audience. "Hey, you over

adoring hero-worship. there, punk is dead," she had called to the

to slammers earlier Juliana Hatfield played a very receptive group of flailing, thrashing

and vocal crowd last Ttiesday at Fed Hall. in the night, "and so is rock." The time had

showcased deal for her herself The evening a great of mate- now come to prove wrong (at

her rial from latest album, Only Everything, least on that second point). 'Dumb Fun', the

but there was a liberal final number of the set,

of rock dosage older songs as was an exercise in "Yeah, full well. Hatfield struck an and roll stereotypes:

admirable balance of poses and feedback,

between radio smashes (know, loudness and activity. A

and her lesser-known guitar got smashed. The

work; she did not shy I rale" bass player threw the

from the drummer off the away 'Spin stage

Bottle' or 'My Sister', but the atmosphere of and into the crowd. Everyone laughed. It was

rockiness estab- The crowd clamoured pouty, growly was definitely good. for an encore,

lished like 'I Got Idols' and the and that, too. like Christmas. by songs No got It was

wistful 'Nirvana'. Other highlights included Juliana Hatfield is an unconventional gui-

'Supermodel', and the ever-cute 'Universal tar hero; instead of feeding off the bright

Heartbeat'. lights and devouring stares and hoarse cries

Hatfield has been touring with a five-piece oflove, she seems resigned to them.At times,

band and added she seemed little bit She has (including a keyboardist gui- even a mystified.

tarist) since the release of the new album. been shanghaied into the role of a minor cul-

Under her confident direction, this powerful tural icon, just for doing what she does with SCOTT musical machine fleshed out and energized no explanations or apologies. Her perfor- the set, without distracting anyone from mance on Tuesday qualifies as a piece of art: DAVE Hatfield's own unique talents. Despite the imperfect and full of contradictions, but art occasional hacking cough, her voice cut nevertheless. Hopefully, the exhibit will be

all PICTURE: straight across the lines of distortion; we coming back through Waterloo at some point could hear those lyrics, even if we couldn't in the future.

Daddies hold the ultimate release

Volcano explodes with Groove Daddies CD unveiling

BRANDON WATSON and "Define" that loaded with funk-rock. the fluid from beer of Song" (duh) won catchy my ears in a Lollapolooza, but the mass orgy

CORD ENTERTAINMENT the most approval. In fact, out of the Three words can be used to mug. It was great. dancing fans was pretty smelly and

"A concert doesn't need of could describe the great just a corner my eye I thought I event The second word is HOT. wet. It was great. but audience the the mid-bar great band, a great as see fishies, in The first one is LOUD. I have Obviously, when you pack that The last word is FUNKY. The well. without audience, off For an it is aquarium, bouncing the wall. never been to a concert that had many people in an area like the Groove Daddies are obvious veter- session." The merely a jam *Groove The band's rather large following such an intent to deafen it's audi- Volcano you are bound to get a ans of the stage, and their funky

Daddies* CD release but back almost odour and party at The couldn't help bust a move either. ence. The shirt on my room of body sweat-cov- compositions were flawless. In fact,

Volcano 30th It the natural for off if on September proved was thing to do, ripped as I was experiencing a ered clothing. they were as tight as a G-string.

to be of one these 'great' concerts. the Daddies' latest release was nuclear attack. I managed to collect It was no "mosh pit" like That was great, too.

The amps were turned to 11, and

the Daddies had fixed something

special for their devoted. The crowd got what it wanted No means no limit to the decibels (something that didn't suck) when

Six Months took the stage. People

must have come out of the wood- LAUREN STEPHEN Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" with a solo trom- The band dedicated several songs to Mike

work, because the bar had been Cord Entertainment bone. Ofcourse it was Vancouver's No Means No Harris, Including "Body Bag" with the refrain

minutes before. Six There is self-destructive in all of that the crowd for. their wants and needs empty only a tendency us was waiting presence "Nobody you nobody you." For Months had mixture Tool's a of Fra sure; it's the reason we smoke too much, and the ear-shattering din they brought with the final song, the two opening bands and mem- diabolical heavy, chords and happy, drive too fast, and have unprotected sex. It may them. bers of the audience were invited onstage to

Rush-like there vocals. Even if did also be the reason why we go to really loud rock After a false start due to microphone prob- dance, sing and play maracas.

appear to be different stylistic inter- concerts. I mean, its obvious they cant be good lems, the band settled into playing some serious Backstage, John Wright talked about touring ests, this turned Lead four-piece actually forourhearitog. punk music. singer and bassist Rob \*Wjght as both No Means No and as The Hanson

out to be a delightful bonus preced- Take the No Means No concert at the Volcano looked like an older Henry Rollins, shouting Brothers, their "excuse to be the Hamones":

ing the Groove last (the it loud it huit, mike, Daddies. Wednesday 27th): was so intensely into the grinning at othertimes. "Canada is a pretty linear tour; you pretty much The headliners loud could hear the better with brother John his eventually so I music my His assaulted drums, holding hit all the spots on case direction... its great when

graced our with smiles hands that didn't of his drumsticks in the traditional bands- presence big covering ray ears. Still stop one one jazz posi- you're two you go east as No Means No.

and gentle one greetings. It was like enthusiastic fan from shouting "LOUDER!" tion; appropriate, considering the jazx influences and west as The Hanson Brothers and play al

big, happy family. Aww, howspecial. between songs dearly a masochistic sentiment evident hi No Means No's music. Meanwhile, gui- the clubs twice."

The band, the crowd, and the Hie show the Fra tarist Tom H. even was great, by way; even better, was peering into the audience He wasn't so quick with answers when asked Volcano staff either real if didn't about deaf- thick like were high sure, you care premature through glasses, looking a nervous "Who's more grunge, you or Pear! Jam?* He did

or just super-happy to be together. ness. l&rariaap!, detached from the bold sounds coming point out that hefc "been wearing Made Jackets Oh, that reminds did Bide started me... it smell The Japanese noisemakers Ultra from his guitar. for atag, long time" kinda in off funny there. the night with music best described as Inter- No Means No knows how to have a good time Thinking back, I should have askod why the The ASce majority of the Groove esttog, Donut came onstage next and gave a while performing; at one point, when the second show was so loud, although I'm sure some of it Daddies set came from their newest highly animated performance. They're an eclec- drummer had nothing else to do, he rushed had to do with the venue. No Means No will con-

album, 'Sunburn' and (hence the title tic pop band with a tot of talent, a healthy tinue deafening and delighting fans across CD release party*). However, it was sense of huraour: they featured a baryo in two Canada

their older and instrumental of him. songs like "Brand New songs played an version theyrecognised Expect a new album from diemshortly.

theCord October 4, 1995 15 (Entertainment)—

however, Bowie suffered a major

creative decline."Outside" does ear much to redeem him. It is based on candy

a futuristic short story by Bowie

about a series of ritual murders, vic-

transformed tims are into grotesque

pieces of art. "Outside" is far from attempt to rework the music of Tom single that saturates alternative-

Cole face almost rock stations David Bowie perfect; of the nineteen tracks, only Holly Wails, you an impossi- everywhere! (and With the and basic from Yes, it's Outside thirteen are actual songs, and some Temptation ble task. lyrics they're Seattle). true

of these than Alert Music of Waits, Cole can't that The Presidents' Virgin are more fascinating Inc melodies really single "Lump"

in the ears forces people to "...she's "Outside" is the first collaboration good. The bottom line: 'Outside' is In recording an entire album ofTom go all that wrong except sing along

Waits Waits fan. Just about stal- she's lump, she's in between David Bowie and Brian one big mess of a concept album, tunes Holly Cole perhaps bites of a any lump, my

'Berlin which often than recalls than Cole fan is to like head..." to a tune that somehow Eno since their exceptional more not off a bit more she can chew. wart Holly going

of the '70's albums Bowie his best. innovative is this disc. This said, I warn the Waits reminds of "My Sharona". Trilogy' late . at Doing covers always a people

- far unless The now is, do have Shortly after he split with Eno and Lauren Stephen difficult task and not necessarily fan to stay away away, question they rewarded with When and other material? After hit it big in the '80s mainstream, success. you you enjoy cringing grinding any good giv-

"Take Me Home" and the album listen, your teeth. ing a you might still be the "Falling Down" are two tunes that asking same question. It's

that stand out on the CD that translate not this is a bad album, it's just

well into Cole's musical language. too friggin' weird. Most of thesongs

Waits fans - Beware! Holly Cole fans, have simple melodies, except for the

don't this disc. last Kim of run walk, to pick up song featuring Thayil I J 465 Phillip St., #2 (at Albert), Parkdale Piaza 11, WATERLOO There Sterling Lynch Soundgarden. is no specific NEAR BOTH UNIVERSITIES sound. The from group goes sound-

ing like The Knack to the Oak Ridge

children Boys' evil on acid. The the of lyrics span range talking * with student dinner [3 1.D.; only about and a kitty to eating peaches,

like the I Cuisine... they sound ravings of a ten ) We serve the finest East-Indian old If liked year on sugar. you Curries, Tandoori and Vegetarian Dishes are our specialty!! [j" "Lump" for its amusing lyrics, you DM Also HALAL food available!! (M probably will enjoy songs like 3 Course Lunch Specials The Presidents of the United "Kitty", "Stranger", and Peaches". is in their States of America Be warned this group own to 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. , , Monday Friday , , and Self-titled distinct category in no way ' 1 ' ' Hours: Mon.-Sat. 11:30-2:30, 5-11; Sundays 5-10:30 Columbia/Sony should be taken seriously.

Introducing the next group with a Sean Moore Dynamic Duo Yes! No classes tomorrow!

TANYA VENTURA Dear Bk, * s slas^in ase^'s g AND MELANIE SEAL This poses an interesting problem.

Cord Entertainment We as women can sympathize with

Dear Dynamic Duo, your girlfriend The sensation ofa last week I shaved and brillo ray body, pad rubbing against your Even lower than campus prices. I've found that sex is Interesting body is anything but a turn on, so and amazing. At the same time, I these are a few suggestions to find hard and it to concentrate on ray appease your girlfriend satisfy to of desires. the PARTY!! classes, constantly thinking your animal Firstly, PARTY, PARTY, feel have been how my jeans against my legs, pysof K-Yjetty always

and soft rubbing mdetrated. Not only do they erne Dance Music, Dance Floor. my penis against Go Hawks G0...T0 Casey's my prickly testicles. My problem is inflavours, scents, various colours

my girlfriend She finds it too abra- and textures, but they make an After The Game. 290 WINGS AFTER 9 PM sive. How can I satisfy her, and at interesting side dish as well. i the same time keep ray fetish? Grease yourself up and she will Hot Signed, Sic never know the difference. meat & Duo | your ordinary potato joint/ Dynamic

® APPLE Oktoberfest Specials JT with any purchase / : "1 __

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16 October 4,1995 theCord (Entertainment) Seven sins,

two opinions

said He gruesome, She said yum

DEANNA NASCIMBEN Brad Pitt has never looked better, the short PICTURE AND CONOR McCREERY haircut is hot, along with his nice bod!

Cord Entertainment he have turned Fll£ Although may down a role in thriller Seven is a psychological starring Brad Apollo 13, his performance in Seven is

Freeman two homicide Pitt and Morgan as admirable. Morgan Freeman delivered a

in of a sick, sadistic, serial detectives pursuit monumentalperformance as always, making killer chooses his victims killer. The according the pair a convincing team.

of the Seven Sins have been Said: to which Deadly He Well at least we agree on one thing:

Sneezy is not one of them). As Freeman turns 9M violated (No, Morgan in another dynamite

Freeman are drawn ever into the disillusioned Pitt and deeper performance as jaded, cop

the web of the deranged murderer, they dis- nearing retirement As for Mr. Pitt, he puts in

the of the killings and race to a cover pattern pretty strong performance as well, except TWIST 'N'hausen the psychopath before he kills for a of but the is XglK stop again. couple shaky moments, guy

Warning: this movie is extremely graphic - definitely making that long trek to

the had to the howmuch producers slip NRB respectability (as far as being a serious actor

we'll know - but if to get an AA rating never is concerned). Brad is overshadowed, howev-

have weak stomach not want villain you a you may er, by the of the film, who radiates

to chow down on any chili before this one. vicious malevolence. This character is truly

The ending to this movie has a bit of a twist, one of the most evil villains in the last little

we were able to it. while. In I think to back to OKTOBERFEST although partially decipher fact, you have go

She Said: This action-packed thriller leaves John Malkovich in The Line of Fire to find It takes more than drink and The murder good food,good little to the imagination. scenes another such inspired performance. music full of She Said: great to create an are very explicit, horrifying graphic Despite the overly graphic nature unforgettable evening

detail. From the a dark and of the film, Seven thriller beginning, is an exciting guar- of Oktoberfest. Plan to attend TwisTn Hausen tone is set for the to the anteed to seat. gloomy movie, adding keep you on the edge of your I and discover why capacity crowds return each horror created the of the and half by sight first grisly give Seven, eight a mutilated corpses year to our award festhalle. murder. The music also helped to enhance out of ten (Make no mistake, Brad Pitt is an winning

the shadowy setting. eleven!).

Said: He I suppose the director wanted to He Said: Die Brad Die!!! (sorry I needed to get

shock with the violent nature the that out of When all us of mur- my system). you get past

ders, but I think he have overdone the and may it. potentially disturbing scenes the reli-

This is not to that the violence takes left with H H mm* say away gious psycho-babble, you are a fairly from in real Seven; a very way, the violence is entertaining film. Seven has a cool gothic

central to the and as plot message as any atmosphere and a strong cast, and for that it of piece dialogue. It's just that there were a receives seven and a half mutilated bodies (It

few which 1 felt could have oh moments (and was so close to an eight, but a naked fat

should been left the have) on cutting room man on a morgue slab kinda spoils the mood

floor. - trust me you'll see).

She Said: Well here is the real girls, scoop.

Our apologies...

Last week's review of 'Fist ofthe North Star contained erro-

* neous information about the datesfor Wicked City the Princess'second Japanimationfeature.lt is actuallyplaying this comingFriday andSaturday night Sorryfor any inconve- nience this may have caused.

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theCord October 4,1995 17 (Entertainment} Your October in the stars

An astrological look at the month ahead

from mind and SPENCER done of that that that love situation You sex craved indiviual! Slow your this month is CHERYL you haven't enough you got sticky sucessful for both in out - on! Your intense school Cord Entertainment lately. Lucky Days: 10, 11 Unlucky of the way move People are down! personality you and

friend scare mate off. A col- in life. Lucky 28, 29. Days: 24, 25. waiting. Appreciate your best might your Days: Unlucky

and trick into a 15,16. Aries (March 21-April 20) who feels neglected lately. Lucky league will try you Days:

21-June 31. situation wish not to be involved Beware of your love life this month. Gemini (May 20) Days: 17,18. Unlucky Days: 30, you in. Be careful around the tenth and Aquarius (January You've been feeling rather lonely Beware of your flitatious attitde you 20-February 18) 25. Best love month You will too much. hurt someone's who the eleventh. Lucky 24, yet! fall for lately and you worry will feelings Virgo (August 21-September 22) Days: friend is some time out to Ease on atti- 10,11. that that always there for Relax! The end of the month brings likes you. Take up that perfectionist Unlucky Days:

Be aware however it friend into with a think about who want to com- tude of Don't you. might a good town possi- you yours. push away hurt the Go It! mit need to do this. You are a want to to friendship. Try dating those ble chance of romance. For to, you those who get close you. Sagittarius who to with an 23-December 20) are dying take out. Give Lucky Days: 8, 9. Unlucky Days: 22, very intelligent person a knack Call old friend, she's thinking (November you

and adventurous them a chance! You are 23. for doing two things at once. Don't about you. Lucky Days: 19, 20. Your wild lifestyle busy on the

7. will take a turn this month. social scene this month. Don't tire wear yourself out. Lucky Days: 12, Unlucky Days: 6, positive You will be out by three out! Days: 30, 31. Taurus (April 21-May 20) 13. Unlucky Days: 26,27. asked peo- yourself Lucky Libra 23-October The third is the best. They also Days: 17,18. The bull is contemplating a large (September 22) ple. Unlucky

this month. Cancer A few health this month want to take to an event next change in his or her life (June 21-July 20) problems you

not set month. 26, 27. Unlucky Pisces (February 19-March 20) Listen to the second person you told Beware ofyour sensitivity. Do will clear up and you'll be feeling Lucky Days: out- hurt. like Love matters are 12,13. yourself are about it. It will work out. Don'tbe so yourself up for being Take your old self. Days: Stop stressing you break out! time this month. Avoid com- going to Relax, you are stubborn! If you keep up that pro- more for the family that means complicated and will fall. Be so much to miss mitment to the it will hurt Capricorn very intelligent you'll get crastinating your grades you. They you. ex, your 16. mate. 23. the month. Love matters sure to take time out for yourself, Lucky Days: 15, Unlucky Days: new Lucky Days: 22, (December 21-January 19) through month Don't for the 28,29. Unlucky Days: 8,9. Many love prospects this worry you. go one you

set free look to leave you confused. Remember that already. Never the

was Days: 5, 6. HARD Leo (July 21-Aug 20) Scorpio one there first. That large dis- past. Lucky Unlucky last month is erased Thelion is on a roll this month. Now (October 23-November 22) appointment Days: 19,20. CORD

AARON HUNTER

cord Entertainment Why settle for macaroni that affect Pressing issues may 112

-p whole 0# life your way everynight I 1. The emergency tracheotomy.

c Fork or spoon?

2. when now can afford Chessmaster Boris Spassky. you

He's playing twenty-four a

simultaneous games of chess at Guelph's Stone Road Mai it for breakfast and I

this Friday 6:3opm. He has a -a big oT brain, lunch as well? I Absurdism. 3. a;

a: of oft the Kind lets you 1 hook for that accounting quiz, doesn't it?

4. The parking lot at Charles

and WaterStreet

Easy, convenient access to LaserQuest, the Volcano, King's College Cinema, and

crack dealers.

5. Peru's mysterious Nazca lines.

Somebody obviously needed a

project

6. Official Olctoberfest coins.

Not the textbook definition of

a hard currency.

7. Imagfnus.

A pop culture drive-thru:

"Give me some Tarantino,

™ side Henfeanda^g

o

4->

a. 3

Part ofa pilot project to deter- the Mmmm, all carbohydrates you need And money you need when you it. you

buy more when they're shiv- can eat. But food isn't the interest only thing only pay on the amount used, ertog viofcaaUy and their eyes you need money for. There's Find out tuition, more. Go to a Bank of Montreal are frozen open. It's like ths

Fortress ofSolitude in thare. books, rent, even That's branch for toothpaste. details, or check out our

Montreal created why Bank of the web site at % "Now we're cooking http://www.bmo.com/

* * $5000 Student Line of Hey, now you can afford a fancy side An excellent phrase that Credit. Unlike a traditional Bank loan, dish with your macaroni,

Brain means can withdraw the iMali^HliSiAiiittltiMSl Money™ you like ketchup.

IT is POSSIBLE®

18 0ct0ber4,1995 theCord NEU STUDENTEN KUNST

Without Feathers By the seashore.

That your cousin Joe, Dr. me1n Herr?" "Shall I call Mueller, Was mauled by a shark.

Franz," I sniffled. When "Yes, I wake up with a massive head cold Those were the days.

attack of the chills, am and an I accustomed to summoning my private But now you are gone.

Immediate physician for treatment. Dr. Mueller hops on a concorde 1n And I lie here 1n bed, drives out to the Lusanne and manor 1n an airport Hmo. Treatment 1s Picking mould from.

of usually a few shots this and a couple of pills of that, with a siz- Between my toes,

later ; able bill arriving 1n the week when I am fully recovered. And I remember you.

Into I lay back my pillows while Franz manned the phone, feeling Forever yours,

better knowing help was on the way. Tim Miller

had said, "Hello, Dr. when I Franz already Mueller, please" remem- where I bered just was.

I lunged out of bed at Franz, knocking the ptione from his hand with

and "clothes-11 n1 with the other. one arm ng him", as they say, It's in what skittered you say Franz's monocle under the closet door as we both came crash-

ing down on our pile of schoolbooks (since we share all our classes I "I love you" says she,

borrow Franz's books Instead of purchasing redundant copies for meaning commitment of the heart;

myself). of directed passion and adoration Hlmmel?" Franz "What 1m der squealed, along with numerous unmention- to him that 1s Iconized.

able vltuperatlves. "He 1s my knight of present times,

I had to think fast. full of sensitivity and valour;

"Um," I deftly stated. "We can't call Dr. Mueller." Supped full of the things that give me solace: soft strength, a warm

"Why not?...I'm blind, mein Herr. I'm blind!" shoulder, a tender ear. He is my closest, dearest friend."

"Here. Franz," I said, having retrieved his monocle. "We cannot "I love you" says he,

call Dr. Mueller because...because," the truth was I couldn't possibly commenting on only that of the exterior

afford the fee anymore, thus exposing my true condition of poverty and to which he affixes his attentions;

Franz. "Well, it's because I didn't of the Students' he read further than the losing opt out can no cover.

Extended Health Plan last Friday. I'm in the system and I really "She 1s more than just another girl.

outside of it. It would research student her her full shouldn't step spoil my into Her breasts, hair, eyes... of vitality; Youthful, energetic

life. That's the whole reason why we're here, right?" and sexually adept,

"I don't understand, mein Herr. You would risk the inferior medical her smooth naked skin tenderly caresses me Into comfort. She 1s my girl-

treatment afforded all the commoners?" friend and my lover."

to I didn't know what say. "I hear it's a pretty good medical sys- They meet after dinner, as is their custom;

tem, Franz. Nothing to worry about. Best in the world. Probably too Two hands tenderly touch:

good. That's why the government is cutting back. Don't want to spoil Soft, sensitive digits merge with dry, cracked counterparts. I stop...

everybody. Heh heh." to look deep within the lines of my palm;

truth I didn't know the first about Ontario's health The was, thing My hands are still soft, hopefully forever to remain.

system. I'm accustomed to Swiss physicians, Czech chiropractors, and

Chilean reflexologists. Ben Graham

"Shall I visit Health Services for you, mein Herr?"

to "No, Franz." I said, "I think the sick person 1s supposed go

menservants while stay here and do my readings for me."

"If you say so, mein Herr." y©u wiU - submit "Achoo," I answered. A shiver ran not as a through my body symp- ,,,

tom of but my illness, as a sign of fear. I was about to go where few

rich bastards dare roam to Public Health Care.

Going home this THANKSGIVING?

My consequent v1s1t to Health Services took no longer than twenty RETURNS mlnutes. Many happy

I filled out a form, read half an article in a 1994 edition of

Saturday Night Magazine (God bless Conrad Black!) before being shuf-

fled Into a small examination room.

The nurse asked one question ("How are you?" "Close to death.") Kitchener student return tares to:

before handing me a box of "Anacln" pills and a packet of something London Belleville called $20 $44 $53 "Neo Citran", probably a rekindled version of "Citran", whatev- Peterborough er that 1s. Toronto $22 Ottawa $87 Sudbury $93 Three days later I felt as good as new, but remained bedridden. I wanted to out of Franz's he stay as out mutual for - way completed writing Pickups on campus Toronto: Mon Fri: 8:30am/Thurs: 5pm/Fri: 2pm, 3pm, 5pm

assignments. I spent much of the time contemplating how close this University of Waterloo: B.C. Matthews Hall, William G. Davis Computer Research Centre,

illness to mat came unravelling my scheme, while Franz sat on his and Engineering 1 Building (stops on Ring Road)

furiously scribbling away and scanning through textbooks. Wilfrid Laurier: at University Avenue transit stops and King Street transit stop.

"Almost done. _Franz?" I Inquired with feigned lethargy. DROP OFFS AVAILABLE. PLEASE SEE SCHEDULE

"Almost, Herr...achoo!" 12TRAVELCUTS Anton Volcansek

University Shops Plaza 886-0400 15 Charles St. W., Kitchener 741-2600 Ravings of the Mad Poet of The travel company of the Canadian Federation Students Ont Reg. #2592241 Love Fungus

This morning I sit 1n my bed. WLU VS. UW Memories of happiness. jone

Floating head. merrily through my Sub Scrimmage As ;Sub... I pick at the mold.

Growing between my toes, vN th • ! I'm thinklng of Wed., Oct. 11 7pm ,\\Vi$ you. Each loving stroke, 4-on-4 Match for ! Grudge Charity - Of the green fuzzy slime, Get "■ Makes me reminisce of the time, on the 12" Sub Line! !

That we frolicked One For together, i In that bathtub full,

Of lime flavoured Jell-0. 99c

After gouging out a hunk, I ITC U/AY 111 wMwM AA V Of or lesser value Of blue gunk, | | equal I | | until Oct. 17/95 From under the nail,

Of my left big toe,

I remembered that day. /.VAVA'.W.'.V.'.VV.V.V.'JV.V.V.'.

I I D ET I I

OC 1/CLI Corner of University W. ' & Phillip St.

We now have our liquor licence! ! Jl';; ""HI

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•Dangerous Creatures • Money • Scenes* / V J • Entertainment Pack* • Let's Learn Vol.l MB P' j, g ~TH'pre-loadedon theharddrive only.

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wwn»"°,w' PERSONAL ?pp. a .;."5 i - •ss-sa-' IPC CD/FX COMPUTERS UiWHffliWlfflfll

Computer Connection National Computers Uof W Computer Store Chipon Computers

825 Weber St. E., #3 255 King St. North Math Bldg. Rig. 2018 287 Erie Street

Kitchener Waterloo Waterloo Stratford

578.4570 725.0606 888.4636 273.1412

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* back IPC CD/FX 575 and IPC 5755esystems purchased betweenAugust 24 and September 31, 1995.The Intel Inside Logo andPentium are trademarks of Intel Corporation. The IPC is a trademark of 3D Microcomputers. The 30 day money guarantee applies only to logo Windows andthe Windows 95 logo are trademarks of Microsoft Corp. System not necessarily as shown. ' Monitor not eligible for on-site service. On-Site service is notavailable in all areas of Canada. Regional price variances may apply. Prices and configuration subject to change withoutnotice.