“We Do Still Call Her Dad, We Just Use Feminine Pronouns”
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“WE DO STILL CALL HER DAD, WE JUST USE FEMININE PRONOUNS”: NAVIGATION AND NEGOTIATION OF GENDER, SEXUALITY, AND FAMILY AMONG PEOPLE WITH TRANSGENDER PARENTS by Andrea D. Kelley A dissertation submitted to the Faculty of the University of Delaware in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Sociology Spring 2019 © 2019 Andrea D. Kelley All Rights Reserved “WE DO STILL CALL HER DAD, WE JUST USE FEMININE PRONOUNS”: NAVIGATION AND NEGOTIATION OF GENDER, SEXUALITY, AND FAMILY AMONG PEOPLE WITH TRANSGENDER PARENTS by Andrea D. Kelley Approved: __________________________________________________________ Karen F. Parker, Ph.D. Chair of the Department of Sociology and Criminal Justice Approved: __________________________________________________________ John Pelesko, Ph.D. Interim Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences Approved: __________________________________________________________ Douglas J. Doren, Ph.D. Interim Vice Provost for Graduate and Professional Education I certify that I have read this dissertation and that in my opinion it meets the academic and professional standard required by the University as a dissertation for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. Signed: __________________________________________________________ Ann V. Bell, Ph.D. Professor in charge of dissertation I certify that I have read this dissertation and that in my opinion it meets the academic and professional standard required by the University as a dissertation for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. Signed: __________________________________________________________ Asia Friedman, Ph.D. Member of dissertation committee I certify that I have read this dissertation and that in my opinion it meets the academic and professional standard required by the University as a dissertation for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. Signed: __________________________________________________________ Susan Miller, Ph.D. Member of dissertation committee I certify that I have read this dissertation and that in my opinion it meets the academic and professional standard required by the University as a dissertation for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. Signed: __________________________________________________________ Carla Pfeffer, Ph.D. Member of dissertation committee ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Writing this dissertation has been a collaborative effort of love, support, and guidance from friends, family, and my advisors, each of whom has been instrumental in helping me at all stages of this process. First, a special thank you to my dissertation advisor, Ann V. Bell, who has supported both me and my vision, talked me down from many a ledge of anxiety and uncertainty throughout this process, and helped me become a better researcher and writer over the past six years. My committee members, Asia Friedman, Susan Miller, and Carla Pfeffer have all provided great encouragement and feedback on this project as well as throughout my time as a graduate student. Additionally, the insight and support provided by my mentor stef shuster has been invaluable. I want to thank my cohort, the Estrogen Eleven, for your support throughout graduate school and the love you have shown me throughout the many life changes I have gone through while here. Thank you to my family for loving and supporting me in every way you can, especially in helping to give me extra time to work in a quiet environment without distractions. Extra shout-outs to my mom, my step-mom Lee Ann, and my sister Sarah, who all gave me ideas for this project and continually reminded me of the importance of this work for families like ours. Special thank you to my friends Steve, Chris, Amorette, and Vinny, who all finished doctorates before me, for being my empathetic cheerleaders and occasional commiseration partners. And finally, I would not be here without the constant support of my husband Josh, who has helped me to achieve my dream of earning a Ph.D. and kept me grounded in the process, as well as our son Landon, whose unconditional love gives me the strength to keep going. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT .................................................................................................................. vi Chapter 1 INTRODUCTION .............................................................................................. 1 2 METHODS ....................................................................................................... 29 3 NAVIGATING FAMILY PROCESSES ......................................................... 46 4 NAVIGATING THE CONTEXTUAL ENVIRONMENT .............................. 87 5 NAVIGATING AND NEGOTIATING SELF-CONSTRUCTION .............. 119 6 CONCLUSION .............................................................................................. 167 REFERENCES ........................................................................................................... 180 Appendix A PARTICIPANT INFORMATION ................................................................. 199 B PARTICIPANT PARENT INFORMATION ................................................. 200 C PRE-INTERVIEW SURVEY ........................................................................ 201 D INTERVIEW GUIDE .................................................................................... 202 E IRB APPROVAL LETTER ........................................................................... 203 v ABSTRACT Despite the burgeoning literature in transgender studies, we know surprisingly little about trans families, specifically adolescent and young adult children of trans people. It may be said that all members of a family with a transitioning person may be transitioning together, though little research examines these processes of navigation from the perspective of people with trans parents. To gain insights into transitioning families and fill a gap in the literature, the present study examines young adults’ experiences of navigation with their parents while one parent goes through gender transition. Utilizing analysis of in-depth, semi-structured interviews with 20 people with a trans parent, this project examines how participants navigate changing family processes, the social environment, and personal understandings of sex, gender, and sexualities throughout their parent’s gender transition. As social understandings of sex, gender, and sexualities continue to shift and expand beyond essentialist and binary assumptions, family formations predicated on these limited roles and categorizations will continue to change. To the extent that cisnormativity and heteronormativity are inherently challenged at the structural, interactional, and personal levels, these changes will not be without difficulty, confusion, and outright resistance. This study, which centers the experiences of those who have strong potential for support and allyship roles within and outside their own families, can be used to help develop dynamic support systems for a population—people with trans parents—that will very likely grow in the coming years. vi Chapter 1 INTRODUCTION Until recently, the matter of issues and rights for transgender1-identified people has remained largely hidden within dominant culture. However, visibility of the trans community has increased significantly over the past few years, allowing for increased public discourse and academic inquiry. Discussion and legislation regarding trans rights are becoming more prominent, especially over the last few years regarding public restroom use, military service, and workplace discrimination. Although societal trans acceptance appears to be increasing, trans people are still required to navigate a complicated system of gender legitimization to work through political, economic, and legal struggles. Given this shifting stance in popular culture, there has also been a recent increase in academic literature on trans studies. Despite this burgeoning literature, we know surprisingly little about trans families, specifically adolescent and young adult children of trans people. Researchers have begun to examine trans adults, their partners, and the nature of their intimate relationships (Hines, 2006; Lenning & Buist, 2013; Pfeffer, 2017), as well as trans kids and their parents (Meadow, 2018; A. Travers, 2018). Trans 1 I use the terms transgender and trans interchangeably as umbrella terms to describe individuals whose gender identity does not necessarily match the sex category to which they were assigned at birth (Schilt & Lagos, 2017, p. 427). Throughout the study, this term includes those who identify as gender nonconforming and nonbinary except where individuals specifically distinguish their gender nonconforming identity from a trans identity. 1 adults’ experiences as parents and the experiences of their children have recently begun to be the focus of academic inquiry as well (Hines, 2006; Pyne, 2012; Veldorale-Griffin, 2014; Veldorale-Griffin & Darling, 2016; White & Ettner, 2007), although most of the research on their children has been from the perspectives of parents and therapists, rather than the children themselves (Veldorale-Griffin, 2014). In order to further knowledge about the diversity and fluidity of gender identities and their impact on family structure, it is important to understand the ways cisnormativity, or a social order built on the expectation that individuals’ gender identities match the sex they are assigned at birth, is produced, maintained, and reproduced (Schilt & Lagos, 2017). The assumption that all people are and should be cisgender2