charger! I gotta go back inside and get my charger!” It’s ridiculous. my charger!” get and inside back go Igotta charger! my “Oh! Iforgot me. kill house the to leave just through go people that don’t things But the I’m kids to whose him. relate guy not the everything. Iunderstand guy. hip street; to I’ve the a very my got ear I’m Look, 57, acompetition. Today of life. way but everything’s I’m asimpler just It it! was was that and pants, your in keys your and you wallet put your ago, Years muchto carry. so have they on because to work abackpack have going suits menin grown I mean, abackpack. with around walking is everybody and laptops, and phones They’recarrying bad. phone it ringing. before stops your to answer you’re trying you at and coming is bus Avenue of a when Seventh middle the in to say nothing it’swhere There’s quiet?” just I’m my room in back till wait Can’t about? this talk to even up. What’s there hang gotta I this, like “I can’t talk going, I’m and street of the middle the to her in to talk trying I’m and buses, and cabs cars, day, amillion were the there of middle the It was street. the Avenue crossing Seventh on of Manhattan middle the in Iwas me when called act), my opening also was (who Kerrigan Eleanor ex-fiancée, pressure always Ienjoy and it too, technology, butabout there’s nothing. was there no email, was there no machine, was there wouldn’t, pick up or because either they they’d and it’scar.” “Did And ya’ really like, phone you the say, the in phone?” And your Ileft “You what? know answer didn’t you hear, “Why home come outand be and you can today example, to always there’s and muchpressure so complicated so everything Today, made asimpler life. has just It was then. technology back better was everything and ’70s, ’60s and the in Brooklyn up in I grew Kids today are really really are today Kids things great amillion are there Iknow Look, Born AndrewBorn Clay Silverstein Bay, in Sheepshead Brooklyn, NYC’s onto comic the exploded ’80s in early the scene with comedy his trash-talking alter ego,his alter reaching height Diceman. The the trash-talking ofexperiencing stardom After and then acultural backlash—he was in 2011 HBO’s on Entourage The Filthy Truth ($27, Nov. out Touchstone), 11, in days NYC. Clay waxes irreverant ol’ good technology-free the on banned for life from MTV after a stunt at the ‘89 the astunt at life for from VMAs—Clay MTV after banned 20 radar. nearly years the spent under reappeared He . I remember one day my my one Iremember day The World According World The t o Andre ?” Years ago you’d call someone’s house you’d call ago Years ?” , and in 2013, in Woody Allen’s Jasmine Blue be available. For available. be Manhattan N [Satire] w D 140

happening. is Nothing I’mand thinking, minutes five my phone every Ipick up else. everybody I’m to it, like probably addicted ‘OK, where and when?’” Instead, he’s texting to see when to see he’s texting Instead, when?’” ‘OK, and where and something, them telling them with dinner at be I’d women and what, I’m gonna Google that.” I didn’t talk to the guy for three years. years. for three guy to the that.” I’m Ididn’twhat, Google talk gonna say, “You always He’d know guy! tough abig, he was it much, and so say he would to someone because word “Google.”the talking Istopped Ihate Iwon’tand things. Idon’t enough it. Iknow do Google. in believe emails, with not one! I’m good use still Istill to me—and abigdeal was OVE

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ice C In anticipationIn of his release of the autobiography, be in his hometown of NYC, NYC, of hometown his in be at the Fifth Avenue Barnes Barnes Avenue Fifth the at Dice Clay’s book tour will will tour book Clay’s Dice The first stop on Andrew Andrew on stop first The & Noble (555 Fifth Ave., Ave., (555 Fifth & Noble words many of man barnesandnoble.com) on Nov. 11. Nov. on

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photo by Austin Hargrave/August