Peer Leadership Dating Violence / Sexual Harassment
Dating Violence 101 Dating Violence Teen Dating Statistics What is Abuse? Red Flags Health/Unhealthy Relationships: Agree or Disagree Dating Violence: Fact and Fiction Dating Violence: Warning Signs Cross the Line Textual Harassment: When Technology Enables Abuse What is Date Rape? Sexual Harassment – A Role Play Sexual Assault Support Services … Information 101
Dating Violence 101 http://www.breakthecycle.org/dating-violence-101
What is Dating Violence?
Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner. A Pattern of Behavior
Calling dating violence a pattern doesn't mean the first instance of abuse is not dating violence. It just recognizes that dating violence usually involves a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time. Here is a model of how it works:
Tension Building
Things start to get tense between a teen and their dating partner.
Honeymoon Explosion
The abuser apologizes, trying to make up There is an outburst of violence with his or her partners and to shift the blame that can include intense for the explosion to someone or something emotional, verbal, sexual and/or else. physical abuse.
Every relationships is different, but the one thing that is common to most abusive dating relationships is that the violence escalates over time and becomes more and more dangerous for the young victim. Power and Control
The definition also points out that at the core of dating violence are issues of power and control. The diagram details how violent words and actions are tools an abusive partner uses to gain and maintain power and control over his or her partner.
What is a Partner?
"Partner" might mean different things to different people, particularly across generations. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, monogamous or not, short-term or long-term. The important thing to remember is that dating violence occurs within an intimate relationship. What Does Dating Violence Look Like?
Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse in relationships as adults. This can include:
Physical abuse: any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon
Emotional abuse: non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking
Sexual abuse: any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control While teens experience the same types of abuse as adults, often the methods are unique to teen culture. For example, teens often report "digital abuse" — receiving threats by text messages or being stalked on facebook or MySpace.
If you or a loved one is in a violent relationship, please get help. Ten Warning Signs of Abuse
While there are many warning signs of abuse, here are ten of the most common:
1. Checking your cell phone or email without permission 2. Constant put-downs 3. Extreme jealousy or insecurity 4. Explosive temper 5. Financial control 6. Isolating you from family or friends 7. Mood swings 8. Physically hurting you in any way 9. Possessiveness 10. Telling you what to do Dating Violence
http://www.acadv.org/dating.html#statistics
Teenagers often experience violence in dating relationships. Statistics show that one in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. In dating violence, one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse. Dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Most victims are young women, who are also at greater risk for serious injury. Young women need a dating safety plan.
Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers typically:
are inexperienced with dating relationships. are pressured by peers to act violently. want independence from parents. have "romantic" views of love.
Teen dating violence is influenced by how teenagers look at themselves and others.
Young men may believe:
they have the right to "control" their female partners in any way necessary. "masculinity" is physical aggressiveness they "possess" their partner. they should demand intimacy. they may lose respect if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends.
Young women may believe:
they are responsible for solving problems in their relationships their boyfriend's jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse, is "romantic." abuse is "normal" because their friends are also being abused. there is no one to ask for help.
Teenagers can choose better relationships when they learn to identify the early warning signs of an abusive relationship, understand that they have choices, and believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with respect.
Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive:
Extreme jealousy Shows hypersensitivity Controlling behavior Believes in rigid sex roles Quick involvement Blames others for his problems or feelings Unpredictable mood swings Cruel to animals or children Alcohol and drug use Verbally abusive Explosive anger Abused former partners Isolates you from friends and family Threatens violence Uses force during an argument
Common clues that indicate a teenager may be experiencing dating violence:
Physical signs of injury Use of drugs/alcohol Truancy, dropping out of school Pregnancy Failing grades Emotional outburst Indecision Isolation Changes in mood or personality
From the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence newsletter, Winter 1999
Help is available for teenagers
If you are a teenager involved in an abusive relationship, you need to remember that no one deserves to be abused or threatened. Remember you cannot change your batterer, and in time the violence will get worse. You need to take care of yourself. Talk to a trusted adult or locate a shelter or agency serving victims of domestic abuse in your community. Together, you can talk about making a plan to end the relationship and remain safe.
Dating Safety
Consider double-dating the first few times you go out with a new person. Before leaving on a date, know the exact plans for the evening and make sure a parent or friend knows these plans and what time to expect you home. Let your date know that you are expected to call or tell that person when you get in. Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If you leave a party with someone you do not know well, make sure you tell another person you are leaving and with whom. Ask a friend to call and make sure you arrived home safely. Assert yourself when necessary. Be firm and straightforward in your relationships. Trust your instincts. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to be calm and think of a way to remove yourself from the situation.
From the Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, Inc. Safety Planning for Teens
You should think ahead about ways to be safe if you are in a dangerous or potentially dangerous relationship. Here are some things to consider in designing your own safety plan.
What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse? What people at school can you tell in order to be safe--teachers, principal, counselors, security? Consider changing your school locker or lock. Consider changing your route to/from school. Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities. What friends can you tell to help you remain safe? If stranded, who could you call for a ride home? Keep a journal describing the abuse. Get rid of or change the number to any beepers, pagers or cell phones the abuser gave you. Keep spare change, calling cards, number of the local shelter, number of someone who could help you and restraining orders with you at all times. Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person? What other things can you do?
Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per capita rates of intimate violence- -nearly 20 per 1000 women. (Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000)
Teen Dating Statistics
About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. Forty percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. In one study, from 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced teen dating violence. Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners. In 1995, 7 percent of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends. One in five or 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship. One of five college females will experience some form of dating violence. A survey of 500 young women, ages 15 to 24, found that 60 percent were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship. One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age. A survey of adolescent and college students revealed that date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults. More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance. Six out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or a friend or relative's home, not in a dark alley. More than 4 in every 10 incidents of domestic violence involves non-married persons (Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000)
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1-800-650-6522 What is Abuse?
Dating or domestic abuse occurs when one partner uses different types of abusive behavior to gain POWER and CONTROL over the other partner.
Dating or domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that can include emotional/mental/verbal, financial, physical, sexual, and social abuse.
Abuse can happen to anyone! Teens and adults experience abuse in their relationships at the exact same rate! Dating abuse can happen to anyone, no matter their sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, income level, educational and/or national background!
It is important for victims/survivors of abuse to find local resources like a domestic violence agency or counselor and to have trusted friends or family members who can keep their confidentiality and give them nonjudgmental support. When a victim/survivor of abuse is thinking about leaving their abusive relationship, it is best to ask for help. Leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous, so if you or anyone you know is being abused, please contact a local domestic violence agency or counselor to help plan for safety. Check out our More Information page to locate resources near you or call the National Teen Dating Violence Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8543 TTY Examples of Abusive Behavior Emotional/Mental/Verbal
Using put-downs, insults, name-calling, humiliation Threatening to harm or kill family, friends, a new partner, pets, etc. Threatening to commit suicide if a partner leaves Making threats like, ―If you leave me I’ll … spread rumors about you, tell your parents we had sex‖, etc. Blaming the person who is being abused for the abuse or for all the problems in the relationship Minimizing or denying abusive behavior, playing mind games Possessiveness and/or constant accusations of cheating
Physical Abuse
Hitting, grabbing, pushing, shaking, restraining you physically etc. Intimidation (blocking exits/doors, hitting things or throwing objects at or near partner) Using or threatening to use weapons Stalking
Sexual Abuse
Ignoring partner’s sexual choice(s) through pressure, manipulation, coercion (e.g. saying, ―You’d do it if you loved me‖) Rape: Forced penetration without consent (including use of intimidation, threats, weapons etc.) Sexual Assault: Forced sexual contact Sexual Harassment: Unwanted sexual attention
Financial Abuse
Controlling all money, using money to threaten or manipulate Controlling possessions like: a car, phones, clothes, jewelry Excessive gift giving with strings attached, for example ―I gave you this, now you owe me‖ Using gifts to make up for abusive behavior Sabotaging a partner’s work or school career, for example harassing a partner at work and causing them to get fired or refusing to give a partner a ride to work or school, etc.
Social Abuse
Spreading rumors or using blackmail to control a partner’s actions Keeping a partner ―in check‖ by monitoring their cell phone constantly or using friends to keep tabs on them Isolating a partner from her/his friends and family Using religion/culture to control partner
Red Flags
THREATS of SCARES violence or past JEALOUSY/ BLAMES others you history of HYPERSENSITIVE for problems and violence mistakes
PRESSURES you Becomes ISOLATE for sex or is SERIOUS S “playfully” too quickly you forceful when Sudden Tries to intimate MOOD CONTROL SWINGS PUT you S DOWNS
Things You Can Do to Prevent Dating Abuse
1. Practice and model respectful, non-violent behavior and healthy problem solving in your relationships 2. Educate yourself and others about dating abuse: call your local domestic violence agency and ask for materials and workshops for your school, classroom, organization, religious congregation etc. (call 1-800-799-SAFE for the number of a domestic violence agency in your community) 3. Listen to and believe victims/survivors of dating abuse 4. Provide nonjudgmental support and options for victims/survivors of dating abuse (dating/domestic abuse can be dangerous—encourage victims/survivors to call 911 in emergencies, help them come up with a plan for safety and encourage them to call a domestic violence agency for support and services) 5. Hold abusers accountable for their abusive behavior in safe and non-blaming ways (focus on the behavior, not the person) 6. Speak out against victim-blaming attitudes and myths about dating/domestic abuse (for example, you can challenge the attitude, ―why doesn’t she just leave?‖" by explaining that leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship) 7. Challenge gender rules that normalize violence against heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer women and men (speak out against sexist and homophobic jokes, attitudes, behavior etc. and help create inclusive, safe spaces for everyone) 8. Challenge abuse/oppression in all its forms (racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, ableism, xenophobia, adultism, ageism) 9. Find out what your school, congregation or neighborhood is doing to prevent dating abuse (for example, ask your teachers, counselors and administrators to adopt school policies and training to protect victims/survivors) Healthy / Unhealthy Relationships: Agree or Disagree
Level: Middle / High School
Overview:
In this lesson, students begin to explore their own attitudes and beliefs about dating relationships, which is a stepping stone in helping students understand the qualities of a healthy vs. abusive relationship. This exercise begins with a series of statements about relationships posed to students. The students must make a decision to agree or disagree with the statement; no middle ground. Discussion can occur after each question to facilitate dialogue about relationships. The instructor can also use this discussion as a way to inform students about the warning signs of abusive relationships as well as the dynamics of abusive relationships.
Objectives:
An understanding of their own attitudes and beliefs about relationships An increased knowledge of healthy vs. unhealthy/abusive relationships An awareness of the dynamics of dating and domestic violence
Procedures:
1. Explain the exercise: students will be participating in an activity where they will be asked to think about their attitudes about dating relationships. Participants will be asked a series of Agree/Disagree Relationship Statements. They will be told that they must make a choice to either agree or disagree with the statement: no middle ground. Encourage students to make this decision on their own without talking to their friends. Discussion about viewpoints will occur after each statement is made and students have made a decision to agree or disagree with the statement. 2. Inform the students of the ground rules of the exercise: Everyone has the right to her/his own opinion. It is okay to disagree with the statement, not each other.
Activity:
Divide students into equal groups of two and ask them to form two lines facing each other (desks and chairs must be moved out of the way for this exercise). Begin by reading the first statement. Tell students that if they agree with this statement, they are to move across the room to the other line. Remind them that no talking is allowed. Remind them that they must make a decision to agree or disagree with the statement: no middle ground.
After the students have crossed over to the other line (or in some cases no movement occurs) ask one or two people who moved why they did. You want to hear what their beliefs are about the statement. Ask one or two others who did not move why they did not move. Try to elicit responses from both males and females.
Some statements are not necessarily about dating violence/abusive relationships but simply meant to have students begin to articulate their attitudes about relationships. Some statements are specific to abusive relationships. When this is the case (those questions are marked with an asterisk) the instructor can talk about the Dating Violence: Fact and Fiction, and Dating Violence: Warning Signs after the students have told the group why they agreed or disagreed with the statement. Facilitate a discussion about what students learned from this exercise.
Assessment:
Have students write an essay about dating relationships, addressing the following concerns:
What qualities/characteristics does a student look for in a potential dating partner and why? What qualities/characteristics would a student articulate as behaviors/qualities that they would not allow/put up with in a potential dating partner and why?
This exercise was written by Candace Cardinal, Health Educator, Kitsap County Health District, and adapted from Youth Eastside Services Teen Dating Violence Program, www.youtheastsideservices.com
Handout Agree / Disagree Relationship Statements
We are starting with an activity that is going to get us thinking about the issue of relationships. I am going to make a series of statements about relationships. Anyone who agrees with this statement will cross silently to the other line. It is up to each person to decide whether they want to cross the line.
1. The way someone looks is the most important part of a relationship.
2. The male in the relationship should always pay for the date.
3. Jealousy is a normal part of any relationship.
4. Dating violence is not that big of a problem. It doesn’t really affect a lot of people.
5. It is okay for your boyfriend or girlfriend to push you during an argument as long as they don’t hit you.
6. Hitting your boyfriend or girlfriend is worse than being emotionally abusive to them.
7. A girl is just asking to be abused by her boyfriend if she is caught flirting with other guys.
8. If I were in an abusive relationship, I would just break up with that person. Handout Dating Violence: Fact and Fiction
1. "Jealousy is a normal part of any relationship."
Fact: Jealousy, to some degree, is a normal human emotion. Extreme jealousy is not, and acting abusively because of our jealous feelings is not okay.
2. "Dating violence is not a big problem. It doesn’t really affect a lot of people."
Fact: 1 in 4 girls will experience abuse in their dating relationship. 40% of teens said they had a friend who had been beaten or hit by a boyfriend. Dating violence victims can be male too, but victims are typically female.
3. "It is okay for your boyfriend or girlfriend to push you during an argument as long as he or she doesn’t hit you."
Fact: An unwanted push is legally an assault. Pushes can also injure a person. Physical assaults, including pushing, are often used to gain power or control over the dating partner by placing them in fear.
4. "Hitting your boyfriend or girlfriend is worse than being emotionally abusive to them."
Fact: Although physical assaults can injure a person, victims will state that emotional abuse is often worse than physical violence. The bruises or broken bones from a physical assault will heal quickly. The harmful words and attacking a person’s self esteem take a long time to heal.
5. "A girl is just asking to be abused by her boyfriend if she is caught flirting with other guys."
Fact: No one “asks” to be abused and no one has the right to abuse another person regardless of the other person’s behavior.
6. "If I were in an abusive relationship, you would end the relationship."
Fact: This sounds like common sense, but there are many reasons why it can be difficult, such as: fear of what the abuser might do, believing it is your fault, thinking you can change the abuser’s behavior, being embarrassed to admit you are in an abusive relationship. Handout Dating Violence: Warning Signs
You may be in an abusive relationship if you are:
Physically afraid of your dating partner
Feeling isolated, maybe even alone
Losing your friends
Changing your behavior because your dating partner is jealous
Feeling embarrassed, put down, ashamed, or guilty
Afraid to express your own feelings of anger
Feeling nervous or sick when your dating partner is irritated, angry, or frustrated
Afraid to make decisions for yourself
Feeling that your date is touching you in an unwanted way
Not having your requests for personal space respected
Feeling like the relationship is moving too quickly or you are being pushed into a more serious relationship too quickly
Cross the Line
Objective:
Define sexual violence and reflect on its meaning
Activity:
Everyone has a different “sense” of what constitutes violence. From hurtful remarks to physical aggression—actions intended to harm can take many forms. Sexual violence is no exception. It is crucial to understand that different individuals not only have different opinions, but also different sensitivities and boundaries.
Have students stand and form 2 rows facing each other, about 5-7 feet apart. Tell the students that this is an activity to be done without talking. Then tell them that you will make a series of statements, i.e., “Cross the line if you are wearing jeans.” Anyone to whom this statement applies is to cross silently to the other line. Instruct students that no one may comment on another’s choices.
Remind the group that it is up to each individual to decide whether s/he wants to cross the line. If a student is not comfortable, s/he may choose not to cross.
Begin with simple statements: “Cross the line if you ate breakfast this morning.” “Cross the line if you have a sibling.” “Cross the line if your favorite color is red.”
Move on to specific statements: “Cross the line if you think violence can only be physical.” “Cross the line if you think all people are capable of violent feelings.” “Cross the line if you think sexual violence is a major issue among youth.” “Cross the line if you think violence can be verbal.” “Cross the line if you think we learn how to be violent from TV.” “Cross the line if you think watching violence makes people more violent.” “Cross the line if you think leering or staring at someone is a form of sexual violence.” “Cross the line if you think forcing someone to have sex is a form of sexual violence.” “Cross the line if you think pressuring someone to have sex is a form of sexual violence.”
To continue the activity, have students create their own new Cross the Line statements.
When the activity is over, ask students which statements they thought were more difficult than others and why.
Textual Harassment": When Technology Enables Abuse http://jezebel.com/5568620/textual-harassment-when-technology-enables-abuse
Many texting trends (cf. "chexting") are just silly, but experts say "textual harassment" is dangerous — a new and disturbing feature of abusive relationships.
The Washington Post's Donna St. George writes that such harassment — marked by excessive, repeated, and threatening text messages — has become a serious problem. Dating violence expert Jill Murray says, "it's part and parcel of every abusive dating relationship now." And Claire Kaplan, director of sexual and domestic violence services at the University of Virginia, says harassment is "just easier now." Bearing this out are a number of disturbing stories of girls and women threatened or controlled via text, including one teen whose ex- boyfriend texted her "U need to see me" and other messages before coming to her home and fatally stabbing her, and another whose parents found frightening texts from a boyfriend only after he killed her. Text messages are more than just another tool in an abuser's arsenal — they make repeatedly contacting a victim significantly easier because of a combination of two factors.
— They're private. Gary Cuccia, father of the stabbed girl, says, "When I was growing up, we had one phone in the whole house, and if you were fighting with your girlfriend, everybody knew about it." But as psych professor Patricia Greenfield pointed out in the Times earlier this month, concealing conversations from family is, for kids, a main perk of cell phones: "Kids want the phone so that they can have private communication with their peers." Text messages, which kids can send and receive in silence, are a big part of this privacy — and abusive or disturbing ones are easy to hide from the prying eyes of parents and other loved ones.
— They can be hard to block. Instant messages are silent, too, but users can block IMs with the click of a button. To block texts from a number, you sometimes have to call your cell phone provider. Verizon's website allows users to block texts or calls from a specific number, but there's a limit of 5 blocked numbers — which harassers could get around by paying friends to text, as one boy actually did.
The lesson of this last incident is that a committed harasser can use technology in ways ordinary people would never dream of — and while controls on the technology itself may partly fix the problem, we also need to stop abusers and help teens and adults get out of abusive relationships. St. George mentions several programs geared toward raising awareness of digital dating abuse — it's also important that those who abuse in such a way are prosecuted, and their victims protected from their continuing efforts. This is one area where text messages may actually help victims — as Cindy Southworth, founder of the Safety Net Project, points out, they provide "irrefutable evidence of the abuse" that prosecutors can use to help make it stop. What Is Date Rape? http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/date_rape.html#
When people think of rape, they might think of a stranger jumping out of a shadowy place and sexually attacking someone. But it's not only strangers who rape. In fact, about half of all people who are raped know the person who attacked them. Girls and women are most often raped, but guys also can be raped.
Most friendships, acquaintances, and dates never lead to violence, of course. But, sadly, sometimes it happens. When forced sex occurs between two people who already know each other, it is known as date rape or acquaintance rape.
Even if the two people know each other well, and even if they were intimate or had sex before, no one has the right to force a sexual act on another person against his or her will.
Although it involves forced sex, rape is not about sex or passion. Rape has nothing to do with love. Rape is an act of aggression and violence.
You may hear some people say that those who have been raped were somehow "asking for it" because of the clothes they wore or the way they acted. That's wrong: The person who is raped is not to blame. Rape is always the fault of the rapist. And that's also the case when two people are dating — or even in an intimate relationship. One person never owes the other person sex. If sex is forced against someone's will, that's rape.
Healthy relationships involve respect — including respect for the feelings of others. Someone who really cares about you will respect your wishes and not force or pressure you to have sex.
Alcohol and Drugs
Alcohol is often involved in date rapes. Drinking can loosen inhibitions, dull common sense, and — for some people — allow aggressive tendencies to surface.
Drugs may also play a role. You may have heard about "date rape" drugs like rohypnol ("roofies"), gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB), and ketamine. Drugs like these can easily be mixed in drinks to make a person black out and forget things that happen. Both girls and guys who have been given these drugs report feeling paralyzed, having blurred vision, and lack of memory.
Mixing these drugs with alcohol is highly dangerous and can kill.
Protecting Yourself
The best defense against date rape is to try to prevent it whenever possible. Here are some things both girls and guys can do:
Avoid secluded places (this may even mean your room or your partner's) until you trust your partner.
Don't spend time alone with someone who makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. This means following your instincts and removing yourself from situations that you don't feel good about.
Stay sober and aware. If you're with someone you don't know very well, be aware of what's going on around you and try to stay in control. Also, be aware of your date's ability to consent to sexual activity — you may become guilty of committing rape if the other person is not in a condition to respond or react.
Know what you want. Be clear about what kind of relationship you want with another person. If you are not sure, then ask the other person to respect your feelings and to give you time. Don't allow yourself to be subject to peer pressure or encouraged to do something that you don't want to do.
Go out with a group of friends and watch out for each other.
Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel threatened.
Take self-defense courses. These can build confidence and teach valuable physical techniques a person can use to get away from an attacker.
Getting Help
Unfortunately, even if someone takes every precaution, date rape can still happen. If you're raped, here are some things that you can do:
If you're injured, go straight to the emergency room — most medical centers and hospital emergency departments have doctors and counselors who have been trained to take care of someone who has been raped. Call or find a friend, family member, or someone you feel safe with and tell them what happened.
If you want to report the rape, call the police right away. Preserve all the physical evidence. Don't change clothes or wash.
Write down as much as you can remember about the event.
If you aren't sure what to do, call a rape crisis center. If you don't know the number, your local phone book will have hotline numbers.
Don't be afraid to ask questions and get information. You'll have lots of questions as you go through the process — such as whether to report the rape, who to tell, and the kinds of reactions you may get from others.
Rape isn't just physically damaging — it can be emotionally traumatic as well. It may be hard to think or talk about something as personal as being raped by someone you know. But talking with a trained rape crisis counselor or other mental health professional can give you the right emotional attention, care, and support to begin the healing process. Working things through can help prevent lingering problems later on. Sexual Harassment – A Role Play
Objectives
Students will do the following:
1. Define the term sexual harassment
2. Identify examples of sexual harassment
3. Consider appropriate responses to sexual harassment
Procedures
1. Write "sexual harassment" on the board or on a piece of newsprint. Ask students if they know what it means. Write down their ideas. Help them understand that sexual harassment is any unwanted physical or verbal advances that have sexual overtones.
2. Then share with students the kind of behavior that is usually considered a form of sexual harassment:
Sexual jokes Touching in an inappropriate way Inappropriate gestures Spreading rumors about another person's sexual behavior
Tell students that in 1999 the Supreme Court heard a case about sexual harassment. The high court ruled that schools can be sued if they fail to stop sexual harassment. The court further ruled that schools must take action, such as an education program, to prevent sexual harassment from taking place. If they do not do so, schools are vulnerable if they get sued. Davis v. Monroe County Board of Education 3. Tell students that sexual harassment is very common in schools. Incidents at every level, even elementary school, have been reported. To better understand what sexual harassment is and what students can do about it, tell students that they are going to work in small groups to brainstorm examples of sexual harassment. Then they will write a script for a scenario dramatizing the incident, how the students responded to it, and what they can do to prevent such an incident from happening again.
Divide students into small groups and have them begin brainstorming their ideas. If they are having trouble getting started, you may want to suggest a few of the following incidents as examples of sexual harassment:
Touching a student's private parts Drawing sexually explicit pictures and passing them around Rubbing up against someone in a provocative way Telling sexual jokes Spreading rumors about a person's sexual behavior Calling other students names with sexual connotations
5. Give students time to work on their scenarios in class. Tell them to be prepared to hand in a complete, written script. During the next class period, ask if any groups would like to present their scenario to the class. Give as many groups as are interested an opportunity to present their scenarios. All students must turn in a complete, written script. 6. To conclude the lesson, give students time to write down their personal responses to having worked on this activity. Were they familiar with sexual harassment beforehand? Have they ever experienced sexual harassment? If so, were they aware of it at the time? Tell students that they do not have to share their thoughts with anyone. Writing them down is simply a way to bring closure to any personal experiences the lesson may have brought up.
Discussion Questions
1. Imagine that a friend confides in you that he or she has been a victim of sexual harassment. What would you say to your friend? What would you tell your friend to do about the harassment?
2. Suppose a boy repeatedly tells a girl, in public, that she has a great figure. While at first the girl is flattered, when he keeps talking about her figure publicly, she becomes increasingly uncomfortable. Do you think she has reason to feel uncomfortable? Is this an example of sexual harassment or positive attention? In our culture, do you think it is easy to confuse the two? Give reasons to support your ideas.
3. Do you think there is a relationship between self-esteem and sexual harassment? Do you think people with low self-esteem would be more likely to be the harasser, the victim, or both? Give facts to support your ideas.