fordhamthe university’s journalpaper of news, analysis, comment and review november 17, 2011 Volume XXXIX, issue ix page 2 the paper november 17, 2010 the paper obtained this exclusive footage, showing the GOP takeover of the House in action. Shit. Every issue online and blog posts about everything and nothing. Check us out online: fupaper.wordpress.com Fan mail? Hate mail? “Hardship Overcome During Youth” Write to us! Editors-in-Chief Bobby “Phineas” Cardos the paper Alex “Undescending Testicles” Gibbons c/o Offi ce of Student Leadership and Community Development Executive Editors Fordham University Sean “Poop Boot” Kelly Bronx, NY 10458 Emily “Handwiches” Genetta [email protected] http://groups.google.com/group/fordhampaper News Editors Alex “Virginity” Orf the paper is a product solely of the students. No part of the publication may Sarah “TriSarahTits” Madges be reproduced without written consent of the editors. the paper is produced us- ing Adobe InDesign, Adobe Photoshop, Microsoft Word, and the incredibly hard Arts Editors work of the people to the right. Photos are mostly “borrowed” from Internet sites Kaitlin “The Silent Treatment” Campbell like: www.google.com, www.imdb.com, www.nambla.org, www.rollingstone.com, www.cnn.com, and occasionally taken by us with an old Polaroid we found in the Chris “Illiteracy” Sprindis attic. Sorry mom, subscriptions are not available. Ad rates are unreasonable – don’t ask. Open staff meetings are held Tuesdays at 8PM in RH 236 (2nd fl oor of the Features Editor McGinley Center). Articles and letters to the editor may be submitted via e-mail to Marisa “Dewey Decimal System” Carroll [email protected], or scrawled incoherently with crayons on the inside of a Keystone Light 30-rack. Submissions are always considered, usually printed, Earwax Editor and occasionally used to make origami rhinoceroses. If you do not wish your letter Nick “Stock Market Crash” Murray to the editor to be published, just say so. We do not advocate wussitude; all letters must be signed. We reserve the right to edit any material submitted for publication. We will, however, work with the writer and see that content is as true to the writer’s Comix Editor original as possible. We publish this rag ten times a year (fi ve per semester). Elena “Scoliosis” Lightbourn So why not come down and write for us? We are a constantly evolving publica- tion, and have been since 1972. And we try our best to second guess mainstream Copy Staff opinion and buck the system, even if there is no call to do so. But hey, writing isn’t Lindy “Catholicism” Foltz for everyone. Try reading a good book like Decision Points, by George W. Bush. Liz “Wicca Phase” O’Malley You might just learn something. Tom “The Gym Locker Room” Sliwowski Sean “Won Rock Paper Scissors” Bandfi eld our aim Grant “Won State” Smith the paper exists as Fordham University’s journal of news, analysis, comment, and review. We are an entirely student run publication, and have been since 1972. Contributors Our aim is to print compelling articles written by students in their own voice and Keegan Talty, Shame, Sam Wadhams, Fluff, Timothy Bridge, Mel, from their own perspective. Yes, this means we allow things like cussin’, and sto- Gibson, Matt Winter, Mister Joshua, Caroline Egan, Hip-Hop, ries of substance-induced debauchery. But it also means we publish articles that ex- Grace Waltemyer, William Fuckner, Guillermo Garrido-Lestache, amine issues on Fordham’s campus and in the world from a critical perspective. We Anon., Chris Gramuglia, No. 1 Luck Sang, Lauren Duca, Trickle are not brown-nosers, nor a newspaper of record. We are a bunch of rapscallions Down, Matt WT Hat, JK LOLing, Saraqh Smadejfahddges, Dan who get together fi ve times a semester to put out a rag that makes people laugh, cry, Yacovino, Poop Boot II: The Return, George Washington, Danny get pissed, and—we hope—makes people think. If you don’t like it, shut your pie hole (or come write for us)! Casarella, Outer Space, Katie Levitt, Inner Space, Jake Sanders, Angelos Kontos, Old Media, New Media, Mixed Media november 17, 2010 the paper page 3 news Elections 2010: Democrats Apparently Got Lost on the Way to the Polls Sixty House seats go to Republicans, conservatism prevails despite the numerous incumbent Dems by Marisa Carroll west to the Northeast. Most sur- tory: he was part of the team in highly-publicized races. Vo- is not our governor, thanks to FEATURES EDITOR prising is that even though mil- that constructed the Contract cal bigots Sharron Angle and the gods and you, if you voted his past election day, revo- lions upon millions were poured with America in 1994. The Christine O’Donnell both lost in New York. Sarah-Palin- Tlution shook Congress’s raf- into the campaign, a rash of Contract with America was a their races, hopefully prevent- endorsed Nikki Haley won in ters. Tired of health care disas- little-known candidates, many document released during Bill ing Angle from telling any more South Carolina, which presents ters, public education failures, of them Tea Partiers, defeated Clinton’s fi rst midterm election schoolchildren not to worry, the mixed bag of a woman of and trillions of dollars reaping stalwart Democrat incumbents. that melded conservative think- that they don’t look that Latino. color wielding political power little reward in Afghanistan Fourteenth-term incumbent tank the Heritage Foundation’s On the other, more soul-crush- (Good!) yet proposing policies and Iraq, we rallied as Ameri- Rich Boucher of Virginia was theory with Reaganite rhetoric. ing hand, AZ 1070 supporter, that victimize immigrants and cans. We showed our leaders defeated by Morgan Griffi th, The result was a House fl ip very living wage opponent, and cli- women alike (Boo!). that we believe in them and we former repre- mate change de- Despite the victories of believe in our country, but we sentative of nier Kelly Ayo- those who fi nd immigrants to- also let them know that we need Virginia’s 8th tte prevailed in tally scary, poor people totally change. The People’s voice rose who rallies for New Hampshire. lazy, and would rather let BP from sea to shining sea, with a constitutional Tea Partier Ron leaders reward their failures enough young adults showing amendment that Johnson defeated then set aside money for health up at their polling places to put says marriage is incumbent Russ care or public schools, a few en- the 2008 presidential election to between a man Feingold in a sur- couraging trends emerged this shame. Yes we did on Novem- and a woman. prise turnout in month. A record number of LG- ber 2nd, yes we did. Oil tycoon and Wisconsin; John- BTQ candidates were elected Well, that is, yes we did if proclaimed “reg- son’s claims to to offi ces from the Congress to we are all members of the Tea ular guy” Bill fame include sup- statehouses and city halls. One Party. Or if we are all billion- Flores defeated porting off-shore of those candidates is Jim Grey. aires or lobbyists or virulently seventeenth- drilling in the Despite Rand Paul’s possession anti-LGBTQ, anti-woman hate- term incumbent Great Lakes and of a Kentucky Senate seat, the mongers who sit on our porches Chet Edwards in getting all “Hey openly gay Grey is the mayor- and reminisce on the good old Texas. Notably why are you guys elect of Lexington, presenting days of Jim Crow. We did it, for those of us being so jerky to hope for the state’s underrep- guys! who think state- BP?” before re- resented citizens. Additionally, But let’s not get ahead of ments like: “Our vealing that he Rhode Island’s David Cicilline ourselves. First, let us acknowl- children…are once owned more is now the fourth openly gay edge that the Democrats weren’t the prize for [the than a hundred member of Congress. exactly wielding progressive gay] community, thousand dollars So now we welcome the change in Congress. Taking a they are specifi - of BP stock. Mar- onslaught of conservatives’ look at Stupak or any other re- cally targeting co Rubio won “We’ve taken our country cent votes refl ects stunted party our children,” Mel Gibson is very happy with the his Florida seat, back!” rhetoric and hard-swal- cooperation and a failure to act are absolutely midterm election results. Are you? and integration- low the 2010 midterm results. on behalf of the public’s needs. unacceptable ex- opponent Rand We also must determine where What’s more, a sizeable por- pressions of ha- Paul prevailed in to go from here. After running tion of Democrats who were tred, incumbent Kentucky. Utah’s on a campaign of “What has replaced by Republicans were and Tea Party leader Michele similar to this one—it occurred Mike Lee replaced long-time Obama done for you?” the GOP conservatives themselves. Bachmann won her race in Min- during the fi rst midterm election Republican incumbent Bob majority can now actually pre- Precedence established, nesota. of a Democrat president, infl u- Bennett; he pledges to repeal vent Obama from implementing we can look to the area where Republican control of the enced both dramatic change in the constitutional amendment improvements as opposed to the most major changeover oc- House has pushed Ohio Repre- the House and some change in that grants citizenship to immi- just propagating that he has not. curred: The House of Repre- sentative John Boehner into the the Senate and governorships, grant’s children during his term.