Primary Point, Vol 6 Num 1
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June 1989 pRIMARY pOINT 9 Unfolding Sangha Family and Zen?- Just Do It! By Sensei Bodhin Kjolhede By Bruce Sturgeon . Three a I would have traded Center member don't know if it's a charac- preparation. days week, prepare (Editor's note: This article is reprinted by they simply for in other dlliaer- add 1 hour, I don't skimp. permission. Itfirst appeared in Zen Bow ship membership groups. Iteristic of the times we live in, if I'm Rather, their karmic links to Buddhism or if I am but 30 minutes. Asheville Newsletter, a publication of the Rochester lazy just poorly organized, Commuting- have even without their Zen Center, Spring 1988 issue.) persisted getting more and more I feel like there aren't is a small town. I know how lucky I am. to the Center. Clearly, they are still at enough hours in the day to get it all done. the course of two weeks recent Work- 9 hours. I know the 60 hour tracted to the Buddha's Way and those Overly, three Sangha members, inde A few weeks ago, while on a plane work week is the norm for "those who get who it and want to Bud practice support to the West I was on but I'm so far behind Be pendently of one another, expressed flight Coast, musing ahead", already. dha, Dharma and Sangha. disappointment that the Zen Center does my career, my family, my health, my Zen sides, I'm not as young as I used to be. It is time for the Zen Center to What is true direction? Who is? not have more family activities. "Our open practice- my and itself as a center of After the usual, inevitable state children's friends have so much they can up develop family reaching General Time with Spouse- 2 and other functions. Ours is of overwhelm, I decided to zone out and do with their churches and synagogues. community hours. This is a broad category including an and we must ac It's too bad our children can't involve entirely lay Sangha, that and make ourselves far more them selves more with the Zen center as a cept to the needs of religious community." The need for a responsive lay people. This is no means a new at the more family-centered, communal expres by thought in the last of we sion of Zen practice has become increas Center; couple years have taken some in the direc ingly felt by the Sangha, as it ma tures baby steps tion of a more com into the responsibilities of family like, widely embracing What is new is the full careers, and community obligations. munity. an whose Hundreds of Center members who sel conviction that this is idea time has come. Until now we have resisted the dom, if ever, attend daily sittings or ses to diversify out of concern that shins retain their membership year after temptation to do so would undermine the year, paying dues all the while. Why? training. That fear, I believe, is no valid. Surely not just for the community ac longer tivities, which have been scarce. If they wanted nothing more than social involve ments for their children or themselves, continued on next pag� Bruce with his wife Cathy, Leon, Megan, & Michaela read USA Today. There was an article scheduling, exchanging news, talking, as which assured me that indeed, there king ourselves how it is that people like aren't enough hours to lead a quality life; us have three children, etc. that the acceleration of time is the order Let me say, that at this point, 24 hours of the day. have already been used. The went on ac article to itemize the Intimacy/Sex- 4S minutes. Not tivities a for a composing typical day typi necessarily what you think. This also in cal I decided this be a person. might cludes hugging, kissing, snuggling and fruitful exercise for me to do. This is what just being there for each other. Let me say I came with-I add total up might my that USA Today points out that most hugs time was less than the USA typical Today last less than 15 seconds, and sex perhaps person. 10 minutes. True intimacy is difficult and Sleep- 8.0 hours. This is first on most people would rather tolerate Bob with and Sam Genthner, JDPSN, Maggie my list because it seems that, as a relative mediocre sex than have to deal with in ly new father, having children is basically tense intimacy. an experiment in sleep deprivation. What Children- 2 hours. We have three with bad dreams, drinks of water, sounds The Adventures of and Duck children ages 10,7, and two. The two Frog in the out of bed, night, falling changing hours includes about 15 minutes each one bottles, etc., I feel like a diapers, making on-one. The rest is "together" time which By Robert Genthner, Ji Do Poep Sa Nim POW. I would tell them what Honestly, could be group play, sitting on the porch, they wanted to know, if they would just is real?" asked Frog of the "What is real?" Frog asked again, this watching TV, or a bedtime story. ask. In fact, if I awaken for the first time Whatfloating rubber duck. He had ob time to himself as much as to anyone. Kitchen Patrol and Housekeeping since I went to bed the night before and viously mistaken a bath tub for a pond. Duck heard the question, but was losing l.S hours. Don't yell at me, I try to do it's morning, I have a sense of alarm that interest. Frog was losing interest in pursu my share and we have a cleaning service "Seriously," said Frog as Duck something must have happened to the to come once a I'm until its little air hole blew bub ing Duck. The question seemed be the week. Besides, getting laughed kids. Usually all it means is that I was so he could on his mind. used to dolls and children's clothes bles. was on a face cloth he only thing keep toys, Frog sitting dead to the world that I slept through my home. had mistaken for a "What is real?" sat on a bar of decorating my lily pad. Frog wife's getting up. So, sleep time occupies Errands- 30 minutes. the "What kind of questions are you as soap. 8 hours but in truth, I don't get that much Taking kids to school, to the cleaners, the king?" asked Duck. Duck was a practical Duck was long gone now. Perhaps, he rest. Besides, all of us have tried to get going the etc. There's sort. "You don't know the difference be had joined the flock of beautiful white more done by sleeping less. In the long post office, filling station, tween a bath tub and a pond and you want swans that Frog vaguely remembered run, it doesn't work. always something. to know what is real? Duck was irritated hearing flying overhead. Zen Practice- 1 hour. This includes Grocery shopping-1S minutes. and as he swam he had to avoid the Women take than it's a fact. away Frog sat and sat determined- half 15 minutes for bowing, the same for longer men, fish on its side. plastic floating crazy, but unable to let go. "What is real? chanting and 30 minutes for sitting, set Exercise- 30 minutes. Everyone Frog jumped in hot pursuit. "Please What is real? What is real?" The question tling in the right position, stretching, knows that you need at least 20 minutes . don't go." deepened. yawning, etc. of aerobic exercise each day plus 10 minutes for a "cool down". Duck saw the jump out of the comer When all of a sudden...Splashl Tai Chi Chuan- 20 minutes. An in of his eye. herited chronic lung disorder my Pets-10 minutes. attrition A voice called out, "Dad...day, could requires Through doing Tai Chi. we've weeded our and we have There was something about Frog he you give me a wipe?" pets only liked. it was his or the Personal 4S minutes. fish left. They do not require as much Perhaps, greenness It wasn't long before Frog emerged Grooming- care as such as cats or Of warts he didn't seem to know he had, but The basic S,S, & S dental care and pets dogs. soapy, wet and a little dazed. He toweled plus are not as or he was likable Duck. dressed. Take a few' minutes to course, fish quite responsive thought off, his son finish, on his shirt getting helped put either. take a good look at the beast in the mir loving, Perhaps, it was his persistence. It was and tie, and went to work. ror. Who am I? hard to say, but Duck definitely liked Frog although he would never admit this Eating- 1.S hours. This represents to anyone, especially Frog. three meals and a snack plus meal continued on next page 10 pRIMARY pOINT June 1989 offered, in fact, has been so narrow as to fall that now practices it in America. Without dilut Unfolding Sangha Sangha children grow up with a marvelous through the cracks in many people's lives. ing it. to in the life of a continuedfrom page 9 opportunity partake religious community. The annual Buddha's Birthday So...where exactly do we go from here? I Let us not imagine that the practice of Zen have our celebration and the occasional or enough faith in the wisdom of the San meditation is something separate from life In the Buddhist temples of both China and potluck pic to let it consensus or our ac nic have established a firm and fond gha decide, by vote, what in community.