LIFE’S LITTLE BOOK OF SURVIVAL QUOTES How to Stay Inspired and Motivated to Succeed During Tough Times LARRY W. POWELL Copyright © 2013 Larry Powell

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Published by Lifes-Little-Book-Of.com *** This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author. [email protected] All Rights Reserved. Balloon design by Robert Whiteman from The Noun Project Scribd Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Scribd.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. “I can’t say that I’m all that interested in how people rise and fall. But I am enormously interested in how they fall and rise.” ~Larry Powell

Table of Contents

PREFACE ...... 8

INTRODUCTION ...... 10

How to Use This Book...... 13

Adversity ...... 15

Depression/Illness...... 32

Relationships...... 49

Worry/Stress/Anxiety...... 67

Hard Times/Struggles...... 86

Guilt/Regret...... 104

Abuse/Breakup...... 123

Hurt/Shame...... 140

Grief/Sorrow/Loss...... 159

Loneliness ...... 189

Addiction ...... 208 Insecurity...... 227

Anger/Resentment...... 245

Failure/Misfortune...... 263

Afterword...... 282

About The Author...... 283

I Really Value Your Opinion...... 286

Resources ...... 287

PREFACE

The door and window in my cover design represent two potential choices: Turn the knob, open the door, and walk through to the other side. Or look out the window and be a spectator. When people are going through struggles they tend to cocoon themselves against the world going on around them. But a glimmer of optimism (the window) represents what could be if they only opened the door to possibilities. During my years of adversity I spent many days looking out the “window,” searching for glimmers of hope that my struggles would end. Because of my fears I stayed inside dreaming of what I could have instead of stepping into the sunlight and fresh air of a new life. I chose this image because I feel that no matter where a person is in their situation, they should always have hope. The red balloon indicates that if you walk through the door your spirits will be lifted, and there are no heights you can’t reach if you only have the courage to take the first step. It would be less than honest for me to tell you that reading a few motivational quotes will snap you back into a state of happiness, peace or success, particularly at a time when life’s battles may have you ravaged and shaken to the core. But what I can promise is the simple act of repeatedly referring to this book will provide enough inspiration to hold you until you find your way back to peace and hope. Believing that your situation will get better is all you need to get you through the day. Even the smallest actions you take during whatever crisis you may be experiencing will be hugely empowering. Plus, reading comments from and about people who have experienced

8 similar struggles can reassure you that if they’ve overcome their obstacles, you can too! The people highlighted in this book of quotes have survived a myriad of life’s challenges including abandonment, addiction, loneliness, divorce, imprisonment, homelessness, failure and shame. I certainly have had my share of difficult times (and at times I still do). And it was during some of my most painful struggles that I realized if we face our problems head on we can move forward to a better life. Like some people collect knickknacks, I’ve collected inspirational stories, quotes and teachings all my life. And to this day I devour badly dog-eared pages of those books written by my favorite authors every night before I go to sleep. For instance, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne W. Dyer’s words always put my problems into perspective, and I feel less angst and less defeated. Other favorite authors are Joyce Meyer who said, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers and decided to go forward anyway”; and Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” While my anxiety may not always disappear, I’m always left encouraged and ready to move past whatever issue(s) I’m going through. The stories and quotes in this book will affect people in many different ways, but there’s something here for everyone. Somewhere, and at some point in time, somebody has felt the same way you’re feeling right now. Your suffering is valid, so don’t deny your emotions. Give yourself permission to feel everything, as painful and raw as it might be. Please read this book to see how others have faced their problems. And allow whatever you discover to bring levity into your day and inspire you to reclaim your passion, possibilities, and peace.

9 INTRODUCTION

The second son of James Arthur and Georgia Stevenson Powell, I was born in Fort Worth, Texas, in 1955. My father, a U.S. Army sergeant, was killed in a plane crash in 1963 while serving his country during the Vietnam War. My mother, widowed at 29, raised me, my older brother, and my two younger brothers as a single parent. Although life was often difficult, she was determined to hold our family together and fulfill my father’s dream of making sure each of his sons got a college education. The financial support from Army benefits – supplemented by the little money Mother earned from cleaning homes -- sustained our family and helped make ends meet. Of course, life was a struggle at times. But our mother found strength in faith, family and friends to keep our spirits high. I always looked to her for words of encouragement to get through my struggles. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” she used to say. She consistently provided wisdom grounded in faith, and what had been passed down to her from her own mother and father. All three of my brothers and I finished high school and eventually went on to college. During my sophomore year at the University of Texas at Arlington, I worked at the school newspaper, The Shorthorn, where I designed and sold ads to local businesses. I was also active in my fraternity, campus organizations, student and community politics, and the Student Senate. I graduated in 1979 with a BFA in Communications, and pursued my lifelong dream of working in advertising. My life has been filled with wonderful moments as well as many stressful challenges. In the more than 30 years since I graduated

10 from college I’ve constantly relied on the words of many motivational gurus such as Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Rev. Mike Hayes, Joyce Meyer and Les Brown. I’ve watched countless webinars, attended seminars and conferences, listened to tapes, and read their books. And I thank every one of them for the many times their words have kept me strong “so I wouldn’t let go.” In 1993, I took a huge leap of faith and started my own business after years of working tirelessly to build a successful professional career. Within a short period of time after setting up my one-man operation in my tiny Dallas apartment, clients poured in and I was on my way to building a small but thriving advertising boutique. I had so much work that I had to hire subcontractors who were constantly in and out of my apartment-based business. Working around the clock, I outgrew the space so quickly that I never had time to find my own office space. But luckily colleagues came to my rescue and offered space as my business expanded. With growth came many opportunities, awards and recognition beyond what I could have ever imagined. Within a short period of time I met and married whom I believed to be the woman of my dreams, and together we built a luxurious home in an exclusive suburb of Dallas. Then the son I prayed for all my life was born a year later. Our family was happy, successful and prosperous, and it looked like I had achieved the American Dream. Then on September 11, 2001, a plane hit a building in New York City, then another, then another, and life changed forever. A tsunami of personal downfalls followed that affected every part of my life. I won’t belabor the details, but I will say that during the subsequent five years after 9-11 my marriage ended in divorce, my business failed due to halts in work from my affected clients, I lost my home to foreclosure, all my money, business associates and many people who I thought were close friends. A once confident, self-assured husband, father and businessman, my life was broken. I was left only with my faith in God, and all the words of the authors I’d been encouraged by over the years. After I

11 heard one of Joyce Meyer’s broadcasts on faith -- You ask why me, God? Well, why not you?” -- I decided to hold on and not give up. I have survived many more hard times since then, but I’ve refused to give up. I’ve maintained a very close bond with my son, my family, and close friends who have been with me during good times and sustained me through bad times. They are my number one priority, and I spend as much time as I possibly can with them. In 2004, my career took me to the Missouri School of Journalism where I taught advertising for four years. I met scholars from all over the world, and traveled to parts of the globe teaching and facilitating seminars. In 2012, I made my way back to Texas where I held executive positions at a major Austin advertising agency, and moved back to the Dallas area where I am once again close to my family. I currently provide marketing communication consulting to individuals, businesses, and universities across the United States. I am happy, healthy and content. My struggles have made me a better man, and I am confident that I will see more happiness in my life. But whenever I’m faced with challenges – and you can rest assure there are always challenges -- I will know where to turn for words of encouragement. Hopefully my Life’s Little Book of Survival Quotes provides inspiration, hope and nurturing during troubling times. It is my desire that the examples of people’s lives and their perspectives will break apart the clouds of gloom and allow sunshine in all aspects of your life. Their voices were always there for me ... and will be there for you as well! ~Larry W. Powell

12 How to Use This Book

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” ~Chinese Proverb

Life’s Little Book of Survival Quotes was written for people who are experiencing struggles in their lives. Containing words of comfort, support and advice, it’s a constant companion that can lift your spirits and keep you hanging in there during your worst of times and even your best of times. An abundant variety of the most inspirational quotes of all times are broken into sections by subject to remind you that no matter how you’re feeling at the moment or what you’re going through, it WILL NOT last forever. Each quote represents what many others just like you have experienced and survived. And each chapter ends with valuable tips and survival stories of notable people you surely will recognize. You can use this valuable Little Book of Survival Quotes in many different ways: 1. As a daily guide: Find the topic that matches what you’re going through and the quotes to inspire you. Jot them down, say them out loud, and memorize them. Use them throughout your day to keep you feeling positive and motivated.

13 2. Find a daily quote to use for affirmation, meditation, or as your mantra throughout the day. Write it on sticky notes and place them around the house and at work as a reminder to keep you committed to your improvement and recovery. 3. Read the book from cover-to-cover to explore the wealth of knowledge available to help you face the difficulties life presents. 4. Randomly turn to any page to find surprising and inspirational ways to prepare you for the days, weeks, months and years ahead. 5. When anxiety threatens to overwhelm you, find quotes that relate to your problems that can help you become re-centered and remind you that better times are ahead. 6. Send family, friends and colleagues quotes who need uplifting during life’s challenges. 7. Keep this book at your fingertips as a handy reference guide to find the perfect words to use during sensitive times or occasions that offer hope, encouragement and inspiration. Note: I spent years collecting hundreds of quotes from many historically famous (and possibly infamous), not so famous, and completely unknown people throughout the world. I’ve done everything possible to maintain the integrity of the original quotation, and cite sources. In instances where there was more than one version, I chose the one I felt would provide the most relevance to the greatest number of readers.

14 Adversity

1. “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ~ …… 2. “If the road is easy, you’re likely going the wrong way.” ~Terry Goodkind …… 3. “Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.” ~Sherrilyn Kenyon …… 4. “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

15 …… 5. “However mean your life is, meet it and live it.” ~Henry David Thoreau …… 6. “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” ~Mary Tyler Moore …… 7. “Hardships make or break people.” ~Margaret Mitchell, “Gone with the Wind” …… 8. “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” ~Theodore Roosevelt …… 9. “Remind thyself, in the darkest moments, that every failure is only a step toward success, every detection of what is false directs you toward what is true, every trial exhausts some tempting form of

16 error, and every adversity will only hide, for a time, your path to peace and fulfillment.” ~Og Mandino …… 10. “We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.” ~ …… 11. “Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca …… 12. “The roughest roads often lead to the top.” ~Christina Aguilera …… 13. “If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived.” ~Jeffrey R. Holland in The Inconvenient Messiah, BYU Speeches, February 15, 1982 …… 14.

17 “Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.” ~Robertson Davies …… 15. “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” ~Mother Teresa …… 16. “The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.” ~Harry Golden …… 17. “The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he’s got an abscess on his knee or in his soul.” ~Rona Barrett …… 18. “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” ~Garth Brooks …… 19.

18 “I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.” ~Jewish Proverb …… 20. “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” ~ …… 21. “Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack.” ~Author Unknown …… 22. “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” ~Frank A. Clark …… 23. “It just wouldn’t be a picnic without the ants.” ~Author Unknown …… 24. “Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”

19 ~Arthur Golden …… 25. “If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit …… 26. “A bad grade is only one letter in the Essay of life.” ~Lee Drake …… 27. “Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose – the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.” ~Robert Brault …… 28. “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 29. “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” ~African Proverb

20 …… 30. “There is no education like adversity.” ~Benjamin Disraeli …… 31. “We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t.” ~Frank A. Clark …… 32. “There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.” ~Michel de Montaigne …… 33. “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” ~Unknown Author …… 34. “Even our misfortunes are a part of our belongings.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ……

21 35. “The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.” ~John Vance Cheney …… 36. “Life didn’t promise to be wonderful.” ~Teddy Pendergrass …… 37. “The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter.” ~Author Unknown …… 38. “A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” ~Duke Ellington …… 39. “Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.” ~O. Henry …… 40.

22 “Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.” ~Author Unknown …… 41. “Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.” ~Horace …… 42. “Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.” ~Violeta Parra …… 43. “I guess if you take away the pain in life it means having no beauty to hope for.” ~Daniel …… 44. “People are resilient. After all, every person born has recovered from nine months on life support.” ~Robert Brault …… 45.

23 “Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” ~Voltaire …… 46. “When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” ~Author Unknown …… 47. “The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.” ~Bernard M. Baruch …… 48. “Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.” ~Henry Ward Beecher …… 49. “Invite your melancholy outside for a walk. Or read it a poem. Or bake it chocolate chip cookies.” ~Dr. Sun Wolf ……

24 50. “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” ~Steven Kloves in “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” (the movie) …… 51. “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” ~August Wilson …… 52. “Lost dreams may help you find new dreams.” ~J. Charles White …… 53. “Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater.” ~William Hazlitt …… 54. “Allow yourself a moment of grief when life’s misfortunes visit you. However, do not spend your days building a monument in honor of them.” ~Dodinsky

25 …… 55. “Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles.” ~Maltbie D. Babcock …… 56. “Aversion is a form of bondage. We are tied to what we hate or fear. That is why, in our lives, the same problem, the same danger or difficulty, will present itself over and over again in various prospects, as long as we continue to resist or run away from it instead of examining it and solving it.” ~Patañjali …… 57. “Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.” ~Hugh Miller, “Snow on the Wind” …… 58. “The darkest hour has only sixty minutes.” ~Morris Mandel …… 59. “God gave burdens, also shoulders.” ~Yiddish Proverb

26 …… 60. “There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” ~Harry Crews …… 61. “Even when life isn’t good on the outside, you have an option to make it good from the inside out.” ~Terri Guillemets …… 62. “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9 (King James Version) …… 63. “Problems are the price you pay for progress.” ~Branch Rickey …… 64. “Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” ~Joseph Campbell

27 …… 65. “The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.” ~Bernard M. Baruch …… 66. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” ~Truman Capote …… 67. “We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on.” ~J. K. Rowling …… 68. “God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them.” ~John Aughey …… 69. “The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.” ~Robert Jordan

28 …… 70. “Great difficulties may be surmounted by patience and perseverance.” ~

29 Are you ready to rise above Adversity?

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~Winston Churchill

Tips for Overcoming Adversity: 1.Trust Yourself: Believe that the power to do better is within you. 2. Work At It: Remind yourself that no matter how tough things are, they will get better if you work at overcoming your problems. 3. Tap Into Your Willpower: Reach deep inside yourself and push forward. 4. Make Wise Choices: Don’t let anyone stand in your way or convince you to do things you know you shouldn’t do. 5. Reach Out to Others: Turn to a person or organizations you trust for help and support. Take inspiration from these people who overcame Adversity: Ashley Judd: Considered suicide as a sixth-grader, and in 2006 spent 42 days in rehab for depression. Went on to have a successful acting career, and has great passion for humanitarian work.

30 Stevie Wonder: Although blind since birth, he has released more than 30 number-one hits. He is one of the greatest musical icons of all times, and has spearheaded many political campaigns. Winston Churchill: Overcame a stuttering problem and poor school performance to become one of history’s greatest orators and political leaders. Sheer will, the ability to spring back quickly, and steadiness were the tools these amazing people used to rise above their circumstances and defeat adversity. If they can do it, so can you!

31 Depression/Illness

71. “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow …… 72. “There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton, “Mistral’s Kiss” …… 73. “Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.” ~Dodie Smith …… 74. “That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.”

32 ~Elizabeth Wurtzel, “Prozac Nation” …… 75. “Even from a dark night, songs of beauty can be born.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher …… 76. “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche …… 77. “We are not to blame for our illness, but we are responsible for our health.” ~Victoria Maxwell …… 78. “Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers ‘Grow, grow’.” ~The Talmud …… 79. “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

33 …… 80. “Even if you’re on the right track… if you just sit there, you’ll still get hit.” ~Will Rogers …… 81. “Action is the antidote to despair.” ~Joan Baez …… 82. “Try to love and live the question itself. Don’t search for the answer. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke …… 83. “Life is the art of living with uncertainty, without being paralyzed by fear.” Dr. W. Dillon …… 84. “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

34 ~Anonymous …… 85. “It’s great to be here. It’s great to be anywhere.” ~Keith Richards …… 86. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” ~Albert Einstein …… 87. “Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.” ~George S. Patton …… 88. “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.” ~Saint Francis de Sales …… 89.

35 “A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl.” ~Stephan Hoeller …… 90. “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh …… 91. ““Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.” ~Greenville Kleisser …… 92. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” ~Helen Keller …… 93.

36 “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” ~C. S. Lewis …… 94. “What you thought before has led to every choice you have made, and this adds up to you at this moment. If you want to change who you are physically, mentally, and spiritually, you will have to change what you think.” ~Dr. Patrick Gentempo …… 95. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~Leo Buscaglia …… 96. “Worry is itself an illness, since worry is an accusation against Divine Wisdom, a criticism of Divine Mercy.” ~Said Nursi …… 97. “Each patient carries his own doctor inside him.” ~Norman Cousins, “Anatomy of An Illness”

37 …… 98. “God is not here to be demanded of, begged from, or criticized. He hands out burdens to those who are strong enough to carry them, and I feel profoundly uncomfortable with the idea of lining up with the other invalids and asking for mine to be alleviated.” ~Ann Napolitano …… 99. “God didn’t design your life so you would constantly fall down, but he does hope that you will be brought to your knees.” ~Shannon L. Alder …… 100. “Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self~transformation.” ~Bernie S. Siegel …… 101. “The joy you bring us is so much greater than the sadness we feel about your illness.” ~John Green …… 102.

38 “An affirmation to say everyday: The healing power of God is working in me right now. Every day I get better and better in every way.” ~Joyce Meyer …… 103. “Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.” ~Emory Austin …… 104. “We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.” ~Author Unknown …… 105. “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamps against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.” ~Psalm 27:1, 3 …… 106. “The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.” ~Hubert H. Humphrey ……

39 107. “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” ~ …… 108. “When life kicks you, let it kick you forward.” ~Kay Yow, former North Carolina University head women’s basketball coach …… 109. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” ~Revelation 21:4 …… 110. “An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” ~Henry David Thoreau …… 111. “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~M. Kathleen Casey …… 112.

40 “There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.” ~Orison Swett Marden …… 113. “Time is the best doctor.” ~Yiddish Proverb …… 114. “Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.” ~Ellie Katz …… 115. “Yesterday’s a canceled check, tomorrow’s a promissory note, but today is cash, spend it wisely.” ~Author Unknown …… 116. “Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.” ~Hippocrates …… 117.

41 “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” ~ …… 118. “Always do what you are afraid to do.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 119. “Never, never, never give up.” ~Winston Churchill …… 120. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” ~Proverbs 3: 4, 5, 6 …… 121. “That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful.” ~Elizabeth Wurtzel …… 122.

42 “It’s not all bad. Heightened self ~consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self -loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.” ~Stephen Fry, “Moab is My Washpot” …… 123. “Don’t try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.” ~Philip K. Dick …… 124. “Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the principles of Yoga.” ~Kripalvanandji …… 125. “Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” ~Dorothy M. Neddermeyer …… 126. “The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.”

43 ~Author Unknown …… 127. “The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart.” ~Nikolai Lenin …… 128. “My cancer scare changed my life. I’m grateful for every new, healthy day I have. It has helped me prioritize my life.” ~Olivia Newton-John …… 129. “Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.” ~Author Unknown …… 130. “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” ~Winston Churchill …… 131. “As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”

44 ~Emmanuel …… 132. “Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.” ~Emory Austin …… 133. “The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” ~C. C. Scott …… 134. “When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.” ~Barbara Bloom …… 135. “I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.” ~Anne Frank …… 136.

45 “Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there.” ~Author Unknown …… 137. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt …… 138. “The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated.” ~Plato …… 139. “We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.” ~Winston Churchill …… 140. “Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear. That’s how he finds that he can bear anything.” ~William Faulkner ……

46 Are you ready to lift yourself up from Depression?

“Do you continue to descend into an abyss? Or do you try to make a difference with what you know best?” ~Buzz Aldrin

Tips for Overcoming Depression: 1. Make a Goals List: Review it daily and stick to it. 2. Set Regular Sleep Hours: Relax first by listening to music, taking a hot bath or a long shower, or meditating. 3. Get Some Exercise: Physical activity gives you a sense of accomplishment, improves your mood, and make you less depressed. 4. Spend Time With Friends: If you show concern and appreciation for friends and family, their love and appreciation will come back to you tenfold. 5. Forgive Yourself: Forgiving yourself and those around you will lift weight off your shoulders. Take inspiration from these people who fought Depression: Buzz Aldrin: This famous astronaut struggled with depression and alcoholism after his Apollo 11 walk on the moon. He reclaimed his life when he found lasting love and stability with his marriage to his third wife. Aldrin achieved over 30 years of sobriety.

47 Abraham Lincoln: The 16th President of the United States, Lincoln is believed to have suffered depression throughout his life. Among other things, he used his love of poetry and a strong belief that his life had an important purpose to battle his depression. : The former First Lady, and wife of George W. Bush, was overcome by severe depression at one point in her life, but overcame it by immersing herself in volunteer work. Her depression never returned. Many assume that fame, accomplishment and power result in happiness. But depression can affect anyone during any period of their life. Each of the accomplished individuals above found different ways to survive depression. Identify your own reasons to live and to overcome depression. National Suicide Prevention Hotline (800-273-8255). You will be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

48 Relationships

141. “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” ~Euripides …… 142. “You can’t stop loving or wanting to love, because when it’s right it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.” ~Keith Sweat …… 143. “Courage means to keep working a relationship, to continue seeking solutions to difficult problems, and to stay focused during stressful periods.” ~Denis Waitley …… 144. “You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

49 ~Epicurus …… 145. “A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them -- they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke …… 146. “The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now.” ~ …… 147. “So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.” ~Ellen DeGeneres …… 148. “The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together.”

50 ~Barbara de Angelis …… 149. “In a relationship each person should support the other; they should lift each other up.” ~Taylor Swift …… 150. “The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.” ~B. R. Ambedkar …… 151. “Truth is, I’ll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candor.” ~Tom Hanks …… 152. “Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” ~Henry Winkler …… 153.

51 “I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.” ~Richard Bach …… 154. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” ~Oscar Wilde …… 155. “Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” ~Anne Sexton …… 156. “The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don’t let anyone or anything to get in your way.” ~Unknown …… 157. “Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.” ~Dr. Joyce Brothers …… 158.

52 “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Teresa …… 159. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” ~William Shakespeare …… 160. “Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.” ~Elbert Hubbard …… 161. “Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit.” ~Alexandre Dumas …… 162. “The best proof of love is trust.” ~Dr. Joyce Brothers …… 163. “Sometimes we become so focused on the finish line, that we fail to find joy in the journey.”

53 ~Hussein Nishah …… 164. “Reason and love are sworn enemies.” ~Pierre Corneille …… 165. “The warmest love has the coldest end.” ~Socrates …… 166. “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson …… 167. “Whenever it was that love does not know its own depth until one hour of separation.” ~Kahlil Gibran …… 168. “The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.” ~Robert Anthony

54 …… 169. “Well, it seems to me that the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” ~Gillian Anderson …… 170. “Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.” ~Selwyn Hughes …… 171. “I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” ~Woody Allen …… 172. “When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” ~John Gray …… 173.

55 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” ~Ephesians 4:31-32 …… 174. “Relationships end, but they don’t end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.” ~Steve Martin …… 175. “There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another.” ~Cyril Connolly …… 176. “Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” ~Wayne Dyer …… 177. “Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.” ~Leo Buscaglia

56 …… 178. “A lover’s quarrel is always about every quarrel you ever had.” ~Robert Brault …… 179. “Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.” ~Flavia Weedn …… 180. “The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we’ll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy.” ~Richard Bach …… 181. “Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner. It feels limitless, not limited.” ~ …… 182. “To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.”

57 ~Doménico Cieri Estrada …… 183. “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” ~George Eliot …… 184. “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that many people enter into a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” ~Anthony Robbins …… 185. “Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.” ~Lao Tzu …… 186. “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” ~J. K. Rowling, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” ……

58 187. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~Leo Buscaglia …… 188. “It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.” ~Nick Hornby …… 189. “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.” ~Alexandra Penney …… 190. “The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” ~Neale Donald Walsch …… 191. “Trouble is part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough.”

59 ~Dinah Shore …… 192. “Relationships, marriages are ruined where one person continues to learn, develop and grow and the other person stands still.” ~Catherine Pulsifer …… 193. “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” ~Oscar Wilde …… 194. “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” ~Barbara Johnson …… 195. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung …… 196. “If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.”

60 ~Francois de la Rochefoucauld …… 197. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” ~Mignon McLaughlin …… 198. “Be careful who you marry, because the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were.” ~Author Unknown …… 199. “Don’t wait for the right person to come into your life. Rather, be the right person to come to someone’s life.” ~Author Unknown …… 200. “If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.” ~Francois de la Rochefoucauld …… 201.

61 “True friends are those who, When you make a fool of yourself, don’t believe that this condition is permanent.” ~Erwin T. Randall …… 202. “In any serious relationship, if you don’t gather your partner’s opinion before making a decision that impacts you both, you’re just storing up trouble for the future.” ~Cindy Woodsmall …… 203. “The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.” ~Henry Cloud …… 204. “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” ~Author Unknown …… 205. “When you love someone, show them in words AND deeds. To hear you are loved is nice, but to feel loved is incredible.” ~Nina Guilbeau ……

62 206. “Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 207. “The best relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” ~Author Unknown …… 208. “Relationships aren’t as hard as people say. Oftentimes a couple argues a lot because they just aren’t compatible.” ~Darren Rose …… 209. “Never marry a man who has no friends.” ~Catholic Priest and Marriage Guru Father Pat Conner …… 210. “Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.” ~Author Unknown ……

63 Do you want to recapture a Relationship?

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” ~Oscar Wilde

Tips for Creating Healthier Relationships: 1. Neutralize the Tension: Create a non-threatening atmosphere where an active conversation can take place that will allow each party uninterrupted time to speak. 2. Communicate Better: Even if you feel you’re right and they’re wrong, avoid giving criticism. Acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset” or “I understand how you feel.” Doing so doesn’t mean you agree with them or that they’re justified in how they feel. 3. Determine What’s Going On: Discussing all the details is generally a waste of time. The singular issue causing the problem is the only thing that matters, so time will be better spent talking about how the parties were made to feel. Without this kind of exploration, each person is left to draw their own conclusion and will usually pull away. 4. Compromise: Walk in the other person’s shoes and ask them to walk in yours. Make sure each of you understands the other’s perspective(s).

64 5. Apologize if Necessary: If you realize you made a mistake, own up to it and apologize. What people really want to know is what it’s going to take to fix the situation. 6. Get Rid of Bad Behavior: If the relationship is going to succeed, bad behavior must be identified and eliminated. Each person has to be willing to do so in order for the relationship to proceed. 7. Create a Joint Roadmap: Make a plan for moving ahead by brainstorming new ways to make your relationship thrive. Replace negative actions and thoughts with positive, supportive, and healthy ones that will rebuild the kind of relationship you want. Take inspiration from these couples who valued their relationships: Bonnie Parker & Clyde Barrow: Best remembered as the dangerous duo Bonnie and Clyde, their story has remained well- known to today. After the couple met at a young age and fell in love they engaged in a life of crime, committing a string of bank robberies, and even murders. The couple was eventually ambushed and killed by police in Louisiana on May 23, 1934. Susan B. Anthony & : In 1851, Stanton started working with Susan B. Anthony, a well-known abolitionist. Together they formed the National Woman Suffrage Association – the first women’s state temperance society. The two of them traveled throughout the United States to promote equal rights for women. Their friendship had as much value to the two women as it did for a very important piece of history. Elizabeth Barrett Browning & Robert Browning: Their love story is itself a classic. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, an invalid and considered quite homely, spoke in poetry like others spoke in conversation. An unlikely candidate for one-half of a famous couple, she was the focus of a romantic love story. Handsome, worldly Robert Browning -- who was becoming a respected poet in his own right – was six years younger than

65 Elizabeth, and could have chosen a younger, prettier and healthier heiress for his bride. But familiar with Elizabeth’s poetry long before they met, he had already fallen in love with her and their fate was sealed. The famous duo married secretly, and lived much of their lives together quite happily. Their poetry grew to new heights of perfection through collective inspiration. The best relationships are mutually satisfying and beneficial. Learn to recognize the difference between relationships that are worth holding onto and ones that need letting go.

66 Worry/Stress/Anxiety

211. “In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” ~Lee Iaccoca …… 212. “The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do.” ~Wayne Dyer …… 213. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~William James …… 214. “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ~Hans Selye

67 …… 215. “Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger …… 216. “Poverty entails fear and stress and sometimes depression. It meets a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts that is something on which to pride yourself but poverty itself is romanticized by fools.” ~J. K. Rowling …… 217. “Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it’s the time when they most need to think.” ~President William J. Clinton …… 218. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~William James …… 219. “Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.”

68 ~David Allen …… 220. “Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” ~Marilu Henner …… 221. “How we perceive a situation and how we react to it is the basis of our stress. If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels. However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish.” ~Catherine Pulsifer …… 222. “There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That’s what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, down my sleeves and onto my pad.” ~Garson Kanin …… 223. “Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.” ~Astrid Alauda

69 …… 224. “Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” ~A. A. Milne …… 225. “The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ~Author Unknown …… 226. “A lot of stress arises from regret for the past and fear of the future.” ~Rosemary A. Payne …… 227. “Everyday brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko …… 228. “Stress is like spice - in the right proportion it enhances the flavor of a dish. Too little produces a bland, dull meal; too much may choke you.” ~Donald Tubesing

70 …… 229. “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes a difference.” ~Virginia Satir …… 230. “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~Chinese Proverb …… 231. “Worrying can lead to stress. What do we accomplish when we worry? Focus your mind on actions rather than on worrying! Action brings less stress.” ~Catherine Pulsifer …… 232. “There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross …… 233. “Humor, a great stress reliever! Laugh, be happy, and have less stress!”

71 ~Catherine Pulsifer …… 234. “When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go.” ~Catherine Pulsifer …… 235. “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” ~Wayne Dyer …… 236. “For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” ~Lily Tomlin …… 237. “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” ~Etty Hillesum …… 238.

72 “Give your stress wings and let it fly away.” ~Terri Guillemets …… 239. “Sometimes a headache is all in your head. Relax.” ~Hartman Jule …… 240. “How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward.” ~Spanish Proverb …… 241. “People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” ~George Bernard Shaw …… 242. “Believing that you must do something perfectly is a recipe for stress, and you’ll associate that stress with the task and thus condition yourself to avoid it.” ~Steve Pavlina …… 243.

73 “Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” ~Theodore N. Vail …… 244. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson …… 245. “Beside the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone.” ~Lin Yutang …… 246. “Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs …… 247. “When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.” ~La Rochefoucauld …… 248.

74 “To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor …… 249. “..There are times when we stop. We sit still…We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” ~James Carroll …… 250. “Stop a minute, right where you are. Relax your shoulders, shake your head and spine like a dog shaking off cold water. Tell that imperious voice in your head to be still.” ~Barbara Kinsolver …… 251. “Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.” ~Ray Bradbury …… 252. “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson ……

75 253. “You can find energizing moments in each aspect of your life, but to do so you must learn how to catch them, hold on to them… and allow yourself to follow where they lead.” ~Marcus Buckingham …… 254. “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” ~Fred Rogers …… 255. “I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” ~Steve Maraboli …… 256. “My body needs laughter as much as it needs tears. Both are cleansers of stress.” ~Mahogany Silver Rain …… 257. “Each moment of worry, anxiety or stress represents lack of faith in miracles, for they never cease.”

76 ~T. F. Hodge …… 258. “Stress is the trash of modern life-we all generate it but if you don’t dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.” ~Danzae Pace …… 259. “Don’t leave life until life leaves you.” ~Fatima Masood …… 260. “Is it possible that the reason you feel as if God doesn’t see you or your problems or care about your stress is because you are focused on you instead of God?” ~Tracie Miles …… 261. “Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with the contents of your mind.” ~Rasheed Ogunlaru …… 262. “The response to stress is not less time in God’s Word, but more.”

77 ~Dillon Burroughs …… 263. “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” ~Charles Spurgeon …… 264. “Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.” ~Grenville Kleiser …… 265. “Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity.” ~T. S. Eliot …… 266. “Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart... live in the question.” ~Rainer Maria Wilke …… 267.

78 “Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.” ~Ray Bradbury …… 268. “Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs …… 269. “If something does go wrong, here is my advice... KEEP CALM and CARRY ON!” ~Maira Kalman …… 270. “If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?” ~Confucius …… 271. “Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.” ~Abraham Lincoln ……

79 272. “Nothing external to you has any power over you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 273. “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse …… 274. “The future will be what it will, and fretting about it will only make your fears more likely to come true.” ~Christopher Paolini …… 275. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Leo Buscaglia …… 276. “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” ~His Holiness, The Dalai Lama XIV

80 …… 277. “You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.” ~ …… 278. “If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” ~E. Joseph Cossman …… 279. “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” ~Robert Eliot …… 280. “A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.” ~John Lubbock ……

81 Are you ready to let go of Worry/Stress/Anxiety?

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” ~Greta Garbo

Tips for Overcoming Worry/Stress/Anxiety: 1. List Your Worries: Don’t just think about them. Writing them down will allow you to focus and eliminate negative thoughts more quickly. 2. Give Yourself Time Outs: Pick one or two 10-minute “time outs” every day when you’re allowed to worry. You can devote this time to focus on negative or anxious thoughts without trying to correct them. Spend the rest of the day free of anxiety. If anxious thoughts come to mind during other times of the day, write them down and save them for your time outs. 3. Accept Uncertainty: Worrying does absolutely nothing to correct life’s problems or make things better. The only thing it does is rob your enjoyment of the good things currently taking place. Work at accepting uncertainty as one of the givens in life. 4. Learn Relaxation Techniques: Done regularly, relaxation techniques (like progressive relaxation, applied relaxation, autogenic training, meditation, cognitive behavior therapy and deep breathing) can reduce symptoms of anxiety, aid relaxation, and contribute to your emotional well-being.

82 5. Eat Healthy: Begin each day with breakfast, then continue the rest of the day with frequent, small nutritious meals. Long periods of not eating causes low blood sugar, and can make you feel more anxious. 6. Reduce or Eliminate Alcohol, Nicotine and Caffeine: All of these contain stimulates or depressants, and can create more anxiety. 7. Exercise Regularly: Exercise reduces levels of anxiety, depression and stress. It helps release chemicals called endorphins into your bloodstream, which give you a feeling of happiness and positivity that can increase your overall sense of well-being. 8. Get Enough Sleep: One of the symptoms of anxiety is sleeplessness, so practice the suggestions above to help you sleep better. If you think you may have a sleeping disorder, seek advice from a primary care physician, mental health professional, or sleep disorders clinic. Take inspiration from these people who have dealt with Worry, Stress, and/or Anxiety: (The specific nature of these conditions isn’t typically revealed in reports since patient information is confidential. But following are excerpts from public information): Panic Disorder: Adele: The globally known singer is reported to have suffered from panic attacks, social phobia, and severe stage fright since she was 16. She is known to do daily sessions of belly breathing to reduce anxiety which has done wonders. Adele was taught to breathe with her diaphragm instead of her chest by a leading Indian practitioner. Rolling Stone Magazine reported that after meeting Beyonce (whose alter ego Sasha Fierce gives her confidence while performing), Adele was inspired to create her own alter ego who she named Sasha Carter. Social Anxiety Disorder:

83 Barbra Streisand: Lovingly nicknamed Babs, she is one of only a handful of celebrities who have disclosed a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder. In a 2006 interview with Oprah Winfrey, Ms. Streisand revealed she had begun taking anti-anxiety medication in hopes of getting her stage fright under control. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): David Beckham: Beckham’s obsession is with order, specifically with pairs. He’s been known to add things or throw things out to make sure they’re in even numbers. Famous or not, anxiety disorders can affect anyone. All of these celebrities sought some form of help when they realized their anxiety was a problem, and they were committed to finding ways to bring it under control. In addition to the primary symptoms of irrational and excessive fear and worry, other common emotional symptoms of anxiety include: <> Feelings of apprehension or dread <> Trouble concentrating <> Feeling tense and jumpy <> Anticipating the worst <> Irritability <> Restlessness <> Watching for signs of danger <> Feeling like your mind’s gone blank According to Calm Clinic (www.calmclinic.com), the three most common anxiety disorders are generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Although generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is very common, it’s very manageable. Even though it can sometimes be extremely

84 severe, many people find ways to function and hide their behavior as though they don’t have the disorder. It can be extremely stressful and requires treatment, but sufferers can go their entire lives without letting others know their condition exists. The opposite is true for panic disorder, which frequently causes acute anxiety attacks that can negatively affect the sufferers as well as others around them. Because it’s hard to hide a panic disorder, many celebrities feel compelled to head the press off at the pass and get this condition out in the open. Self-coping strategies for anxiety can be very useful. But if your issues, concerns, or anxiety have grown to the point where they’re causing overwhelming distress or interrupting your daily routine, it’s highly recommended that you seek professional help. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America -- which promotes the prevention, treatment and cure of anxiety, depression, and stress-related disorders through education, practice, and research -- is an excellent resource for more information (www.adaa.org).

85 Hard Times/Struggles 281. “The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” ~Epictetus 282. “Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.” ~Elie Weisel …… 283. “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” ~Japanese Proverb …… 284. “Prosperity is not without many fears and disasters; and adversity is not without comforts and hopes.” ~Francis Bacon …… 285. “Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.”

86 ~Robert Schuller …… 286 “The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” ~Epictetus …… 287. “We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” ~Kenji Miyazawa …… 288. “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” ~John H. Groberg …… 289. “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” ~Michael Jordan …… 290.

87 “Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.” ~Alexander Graham Bell …… 291. “Inside of a ring or out, ain’t nothing wrong with going down. It’s staying down that’s wrong.” ~Muhammad Ali …… 292. “The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.” ~Japanese Proverb …… 293. “We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate. Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves our potential is limitless.” ~Christopher Reeve …… 294. “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” ~Darwin ……

88 295. “Seeds of faith are always within us; sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.” ~Susan Taylor …… 296. “When you say ‘It’s hard,’ it actually means ‘I’m not strong enough to fight for it.’ Stop saying it’s hard. Think positive!” ~Unknown …… 297. “Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein …… 298. “Out of difficulties grow miracles.” ~Jean De La Bruyere …… 299. “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.” ~Bern William ……

89 300. “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.” ~Richard Bach …… 301. “It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog! The person who is not hungry says that the coconut has a hard shell.” ~African Tribal Saying …… 302. “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 303. “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” ~John Pierpont Morgan …… 304. “Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser so thank the past for a better future.” ~Author Unknown

90 …… 305. “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” ~Lance Armstrong …… 306. “Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” ~Joseph Campbell …… 307. “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” ~Bob Marley …… 308. “History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” ~Maya Angelou …… 309. “Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes

91 from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” ~Kevyn Aucoin …… 310. “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” ~Tony Robbins …… 311. “I do not at all understand the mystery of grace–only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” ~Anne Lamott …… 312. “Right in the difficult we must have our joys, our happiness, our dreams: there against the depth of this background, they stand out, there for the first time we see how beautiful they are.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke …… 313. “There’s always going to be bad stuff out there. But here’s the amazing thing–light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can’t stick the dark into the light.” ~Jodi Picoult

92 …… 314. “Just as a man cannot live without dreams, he cannot live without hope. If dreams reflect the past, hope summons the future.” ~Elie Wiesel …… 315. “Accept ~then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it…This will miraculously transform your whole life.” ~Eckhart Tolle …… 316. “The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.” ~Barbara Kingsolver …… 317. “Don’t choose a permanent solution for a temporary problem.” ~Larry Powell …… 318.

93 “What I know for sure is this: You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more. To be more splendid. To be more extraordinary. To use every moment to fill yourself up.” ~Oprah Winfrey …… 319. “Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person’s face as you pass on the street: those faces are for you […] Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing.” ~Miranda July …… 320. “If your life is cloudy and you’re far, far off course, you may have to go on faith for a while, but eventually you’ll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life.” ~Martha Beck …… 321. “Don’t wait until everything is just right […] There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger…” ~Mark Victor Hansen …… 322.

94 “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” ~Winston Churchill …… 323. “If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” ~Marie Osmond …… 324. “An obstacle is often a stepping stone.” ~Prescott …… 325. “Sometimes, that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand.” ~Carrie Underwood. …… 326. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5, 6 ……

95 327. “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~Unknown Author …… 328. “You never know how strong you are… until being strong is the only choice you have.” ~Cayla Mills …… 329. “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway …… 330. “Those who persevere through the hard times will reap great rewards when the tide turns... and tide always turns.” ~Joe Mitchell …… 331. “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” ~Charles Austin Beard

96 …… 332. “When you set goals, something inside of you starts saying, ‘Let’s go, let’s go,’ and ceilings start to move up.” ~Zig Ziglar …… 333. “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ~John F. Kennedy …… 334. “Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves.” ~Joyce C. Lock …… 335. “When faced with a challenge, look for a way, not a way out.” ~ Author Unknown …… 336. “Don’t only help yourself in life, but try to help those truly in need, because you’ll never know when you’ll need the same support.” ~Rachel Protzman

97 …… 337. “When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” ~Author Unknown …… 338. “I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.” ~Author Unknown …… 339. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein …… 340. “Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 341. “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to

98 stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” ~Randy Pausch …… 342. “The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this, he’s dead.” ~Bette Davis …… 343. “Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” ~Seneca …… 344. “Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” ~Roger Crawford …… 345. “If you are facing a new challenge or being asked to do something that you have never done before don’t be afraid to step out. You have more capability than you think you do but you will never see it unless you place a demand on yourself for more.” ~Joyce Meyer ……

99 346. “If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” ~T. S. Eliot …… 347. “Our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr. …… 348. “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard.” ~John F. Kennedy …… 349. “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” ~Albert Einstein …… 350. “Hope and change are hard-fought things.” ~Michelle Obama ……

100 Are you ready to move beyond Hard Times and Struggles?

“Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.” ~Jean de la Fontaine

Tips for Overcoming Hard Times and Struggles: 1. Swallow Your Pride: Seek external sources of strength and support. Receiving energy and strength above and beyond what you can give yourself is vital. Draw on spiritual guidance, and family and friends to reassure you that you will survive this and thrive. 2. Set Aside Whatever You Can: No matter how limited your resources, save a little something extra in case rainy days develop into a tsunami. Can goods, an extra set of clothes, or even spare change become life savers during times of hardship. 3. Cook Simple Meals at Home: Simple one-dish meals like soups, stews, etc. are nutritious and cheap. Take your lunch to work instead of eating out. Also consider planting your own garden, which can be done inside or outside your home. 4. Buy Bargain and Used Items: You can find quality used and new items at garage sales and thrift shops, and save an enormous amount of money. 5. Make Your Own Repairs Whenever Possible: Simple repairs you can learn to do yourself will save you money.

101 Skills like fixing a leaky sink, broken locks or lawn mowing are quick. You can also make a few extra dollars by doing these repairs for neighbors and friends. 6. Purchase Only What You Need: It’s very easy to spend money on things you don’t actually need. Quite often we buy things merely because we want them. Learn to recognize the difference between what you need and what you want. 7. Avoid New Debt at All Costs: It’s better to wait than to take on new debt for things you can pay for up front. The last thing you will need during hard times is extra debt to worry about. 8. Stop Needless Expenses: Turn off lights that aren’t being used. Plan trips to maximize activities while you’re out and about, which will save money on gas, tolls and transportation. 9. Find Additional Sources of Income: A part-time, freelance job can create a little extra income. Having a yard or garage sale, or posting items to eBay or Craigslist can also bring in extra money. Also keep your eyes open for bartering opportunities, which are abundant. 10. Cut Spending on Entertainment: Movies, concerts and even cable can be eliminated. You can check out movies, videogames and books for free from most public libraries. 11.Protect or Repair Your Credit: If your credit is in jeopardy, consider consulting a debt consolidation company. If you have to choose bankruptcy, credit repair companies can help you build and manage new credit. If the idea of trying to rebuild your credit on your own seems daunting, there are firms that are great at helping build new lines of credit to reestablish a good credit rating. 12. Stay Strong. A financial problem is not the end of your financial future. If you follow these steps I’ve outlined, you’ll find things are easier than you may have initially feared.

102 Take inspiration from these people who overcame Financial Hard Times and Struggles: Dr. Phil McGraw: By the time he was 12, McGraw was homeless and living in a car with his father in Kansas City while his father interned as a psychologist. They somehow scraped enough money together to get a $5 room at the YMCA. He went on to become one of American’s best known psychologists after his days on Oprah as Dr. Phil, host of his own TV show, and a best-selling author. But his success grew out of a rough childhood. As tough as things were, McGraw says, “I cherish those memories. It taught me how to deal with stress hard times.” Colonel Sanders: The entrepreneur who built Kentucky Fried Chicken from scratch was homeless not once but twice. At the age of 10, he ran away from home after fights with his stepfather and then again as an adult. He slept in his car as he traveled the country persuading restaurants to pay a franchise fee for his chicken recipe. : Fitzgerald was abused by her stepfather when her mother died at a young age, and worked with the Mafia for some time before the police put her in a girl’s home. Fitzgerald escaped and was homeless until debuting at the Apollo Theater in 1934. Her voice quickly won her fame, and throughout her career she won 13 Grammy Awards, received medals from Presidents Reagan and George H. W. Bush, and was “arguably the finest female jazz singer of all time.” There is no force greater than the human spirit. It lives inside the celebrated as well as ordinary, everyday people (like the 16 survivors of a 1972 plane crash of a Uruguayan Air Force twin turboprop in the Andes Mountain who had to withstand 30-degree below zero temperatures for 72 days of isolation until they were eventually rescued). That same spirit of survival exists inside of you!

103 Guilt/Regret

351. “I don’t believe in guilt, I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person, and don’t judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free.” ~Angelina Jolie …… 352. “Guilt for being rich, and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn’t enough and you have to go and get shot or something.” ~John Lennon …… 353. “Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche …… 354. “Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.” ~Erma Bombeck

104 …… 355. “No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.” ~Alan Watts …… 356. “The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.” ~Ayn Rand …… 357. “Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.” ~Coco Chanel …… 358. “Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.” ~Cathy Guisewite …… 359. “Guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others - at what they did or did not do.”

105 ~Peter McWilliams …… 360. “Glory, built on selfish principles, is shame and guilt.” ~William Cowper …… 361. “Innocence does not find near so much protection as guilt.” ~Francois de La Rochefoucauld …… 362. “I don’t want to forgive myself. That’s why I hate psychoanalysis I think if you’re guilty of something you should live with it. Get rid of it - how can you get rid of a real guilt? I think people should live with it, face up to it.” ~Orson Welles …… 363. “True guilt is guilt at the obligation one owes to oneself to be oneself. False guilt is guilt felt at not being what other people feel one ought to be or assume that one is.” ~R. D. Laing …… 364.

106 “Sin, guilt, neurosis; they are one and the same, the fruit of the tree of knowledge.” ~Henry Miller …… 365. “We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster.” ~Deepak Chopra …… 366. “What we call real estate - the solid ground to build a house on - is the broad foundation on which nearly all the guilt of this world rests.” ~Nathaniel Hawthorne …… 367. “What I have in common with the character in ‘Truman’ is this incredible need to please people. I feel like I want to take care of everyone and I also feel this terrible guilt if I am unable to. And I have felt this way ever since all this success started.” ~Jim Carrey …… 368. “I have never smuggled anything in my life. Why, then, do I feel an uneasy sense of guilt on approaching a customs barrier?” ~John Steinbeck

107 …… 369. “Hard though it may be to accept, remember that guilt is sometimes a friendly internal voice reminding you that you’re messing up.” ~Marge Kennedy …… 370. “If only I wasn’t an atheist, I could get away with anything. You’d just ask for forgiveness and then you’d be forgiven. It sounds much better than having to live with guilt.” ~Keira Knightley …… 371. “It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.” ~Friedrich Von Schiller …… 372. “Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal.” ~Bishop Robert South …… 373.

108 “Total physical and mental inertia are highly agreeable, much more so than we allow ourselves to imagine. A beach not only permits such inertia but enforces it, thus neatly eliminating all problems of guilt. It is now the only place in our overly active world that does.” ~John Kenneth Galbraith …… 374. “There’s no regret. You can’t regret. I mean, I’ve felt regret but I’ve also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don’t believe it. You feel it, it’s like guilt, it’s like jealousy, it’s like all those horrible things. You’ve just got to snip them and get them out, because they’re no good.” ~Jude Law …… 375. “The race of mankind would perish did they cease to aid each other. We cannot exist without mutual help. All therefore that need aid have a right to ask it from their fellow-men; and no one who has the power of granting can refuse it without guilt.” ~Walter Dill Scott …… 376. “I did a lot of things that I regretted and I certainly paid for my mistakes. You have to go and ask for forgiveness and it wasn’t until I really started doing good and doing right, by other people as well as myself, that I really started to feel that guilt go away. So I don’t have a problem going to sleep at night.” ~Mark Wahlberg

109 …… 377. “Guilt has very quick ears to an accusation.” ~Henry Fielding …… 378. “Sadly, we do a much better job of making people feel guilty than we do of delivering them from the guilt we create. We need to confess this and change our ways.” ~Tony Campolo …… 379. “Alas! how difficult it is not to betray one’s guilt by one’s looks.” ~Ovid …… 380. “A god implants in mortal guilt whenever he wants utterly to confound a house.” ~Aeschylus …… 381. “If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.”

110 ~Charlotte Bronte …… 382. “Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.” ~George Sewell …… 383. “I don’t have any gnawing guilt over contributing to any unhappiness suffered by my husbands. They were as much to blame as I was.” ~Hedy Lamarr …… 384. “I don’t feel guilt. Whatever I wish to do, I do.” ~Jeanne Moreau …… 385. “Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man conscious of guilt.” ~Plautus …… 386. “When I feel like I’m not doing what I am supposed to as a mother, I will torture myself. I don’t know how to deal with it. I find some

111 consolation in the fact that all mommies feel it. If there was a way to cure mommy guilt, I would bottle it and be a bazillionaire.” ~Angie Harmon …… 387. “I know that a man who shows me his wealth is like the beggar who shows me his poverty; they are both looking for alms from me, the rich man for the alms of my envy, the poor man for the alms of my guilt.” ~Ben Hecht …… 388. “Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn’t.” ~Alan Cohen …… 389. “Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and the very magnitude of the crime the best excuse for doing nothing.” ~Hannah Arendt …… 390. “Affirmative action is a little like the professional football draft. The NFL awards its No. 1 draft choices to the lowest-ranked team in the league. It doesn’t do this out of compassion or guilt. It’s done for mutual survival. They understand that a league can only be as strong as its weakest team.”

112 ~J. C. Watts …… 391. “While the resurrection promises us a new and perfect life in the future, God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life.” ~Josh McDowell …… 392. “When lovely woman stoops to folly, and finds too late that men betray, what charm can soothe her melancholy, what art can wash her guilt away?” ~Oliver Goldsmith …… 393. “Repentant tears wash out the stain of guilt.” ~St. Aurelius Augustine (of Hippo) …… 394. “Allowing children to show their guilt, show their grief, show their anger, takes the sting out of the situation.” ~Martha Beck …… 395.

113 “Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God’s way of letting you know that you’re having too good a time.” ~Dennis Miller …… 396. “But I think I can sincerely declare that I cheerfully submit myself to every odious name for conscience’ sake; and from my soul I despise all those whose guilt, malice, or folly has made them my foes.” ~James Otis …… 397. “Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” ~Henry David Thoreau “Don’t let the past steal your present.” ~Terri Guillemets …… 398. “Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.” ~George Sand …… 399. “I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end.”

114 ~Drew Barrymore” …… 400. “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” ~Fulton Oursler …… 401. “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” ~Jonathan Larson …… 402. “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” ~Oscar Wilde …… 403. “Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret.” ~Robert E. Lee …… 404. “A man has cause for regret only when he sows and no one reaps.” ~Charles Goodyear

115 …… 405. “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” ~Joseph Campbell …… 406. “With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 407. “I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.” ~Rita Mero …… 408. “If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” ~Mercedes Lackey …… 409. “Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to

116 sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.” ~Miguel Angel Ruiz …… 410. “One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead.” ~Oscar Wilde …… 411. “There is nothing to regret - either for those who go or for those who are left behind.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt …… 412. “I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.” ~Brittany Renée …… 413. “If we spend our time with regrets over yesterday, and worries over what might happen tomorrow, we have no today in which to live.” ~Anonymous …… 414.

117 “Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.” ~Sivananda …… 415. “What’s done is done.” ~William Shakespeare …… 416. “I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.” ~Soren Kierkegaard …… 417. “This is the book I never read – These are the words I never said – This is the path I’ll never tread – These are the dreams I’ll dream instead.” ~Annie Lennox …… 418. “A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.” ~Yiddish Proverb ……

118 419. “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’ – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” ~Psalm 32:5 …… 420. “We each begin in innocence. We all become guilty.” ~Leonard F. Peltier ……

119 Can you free yourself of Guilt/Regret?

“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown Author

Tips for Overcoming Guilt/Regret: 1. List Your Worries: Don’t just think about them. Writing them down will allow you to focus and eliminate negative thoughts more quickly. 2. Own Up to Your Mistakes: Admit to yourself that whatever it is was your fault, and then forgive yourself. Even if what you did was unintentional, but somehow caused a problem, it’s important to take responsibility for your actions. If you need to talk to someone about it, find someone you can trust who won’t judge you. Find a safe way to apologize to anyone this affected. 3. You’ll Get Over It: Take time to heal emotionally. Getting past the issue will very likely take some time, so don’t let a bad day convince you that you have a bad life. With patience you’ll bounce back. Until then, do everything you can to keep a smile on your face. 4. Mistakes Always Precede Success: The only people who never make mistakes are the ones who never try anything. It’s much better to spend your life trying to achieve success and failing, than to fail in life because you never tried anything.

120 5. Positive Thoughts Bring Positive Results: Success begins in your mind. You must first believe you can something before you actually do it. The reason positive people “always seem to come out on top” is because they always focus on the positive. 6. Let Your Mistakes Motivate You: Don’t allow mistakes to become your excuse to stop trying. Put them behind you and use them as a bridge to success. Every time you make a mistake, you move one step closer. The only time you fail is when you fall and don’t get back up. 7. Your Mistakes Do Not Define You: Life doesn’t come with instructions. Mistakes not only teach us what not to do, they teach us what we should do. 8. It Isn’t the End of the World: Children stumble and fall until they learn to walk or ride a bike, and they always eventually master the skill. So whenever you stumble, channel the resilience from your childhood and keep on trying. Take inspiration from these people who survived Guilt and Regret: Robert Downey, Jr.: At age six Downey tried marijuana, and in his 20s he became addicted to cocaine, heroin and other drugs. Although over the years he has been in and out of rehab and arrested many times for possession, and put in prison where he attended the California State controlled substance rehab program, he’s managed to continuing working as an actor (even though he had been blacklisted as a non-insurable). He lost his Hollywood career several times, but kept making comebacks. Downey won many acting awards, including Oscar nominations for both “Chaplin” and “Tropic Thunder,” but kept losing relationships, jobs, and his hold on reality. One day an epiphany hit him that he could continue down the road of addiction and recovery, or get his act together – which he finally did. Downey says, “The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven.” William J. “Bill” Clinton: This former U.S. president made headlines when he denied having sexual relations with White House

121 intern Monica Lewinsky in 1998, then finally having to admit he “did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was not appropriate.” Clinton was dogged by investigations throughout his presidency, particularly of sexual misconduct, which damaged the public’s belief in his trustworthiness. Even with all this negativity, he continued to be notably characterized by high public approval ratings. When the February 2007 Gallup Poll asked people to name the greatest president in U.S. history, Clinton came in fourth place. Martha Stewart: After years of building her multi-billion dollar brand, the business magnate, writer and media personality was convicted in March 2004 of conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and lying to federal investigators about an insider stock sale. She was sentenced in July 2004 to a five-month term in a federal correctional facility, and a two-year period of supervised release. After her release in 2005, Stewart launched an impressive comeback. “I think many of us have an inner strength that you do not know until you are tested,” she said. “This was a test. I kept my head up. I kept my friends intact, most of them. I kept my spirit high, and I moved on.” Top 5 Regrets People Have on Their Death Beds: 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Don’t leave this earth with any guilt or regrets.

122 Abuse/Breakup

421. “Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.” ~Anonymous …… 422. “I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken, and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived.” ~Margaret Mitchell …… 423. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein …… 424.

123 “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt …… 425. “Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go.” ~Len Santos …… 426. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” ~Deborah Reber …… 427. “The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.” ~Anonymous …… 428. “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

124 ~E. M. Forster …… 429. “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Christopher Columbus …… 430. “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” ~Washington Irving …… 431. “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~Alexander Graham Bell …… 432. “Storms make trees take deeper roots.” ~Dolly Parton …… 433. “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

125 ~J. K. Rowling …… 434. “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.” ~Unknown Author …… 435. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe …… 436. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou …… 437. “You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be.” ~Wayne W. Dyer …… 438. “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

126 ~James Baldwin …… 439. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ~Nora Ephron …… 440. “There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” ~C. JoyBell C. …… 441. “A heart can stop beating for a while, one can still live.” ~Suzanne Finnamore …… 442. “My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.” ~Joyce Brothers

127 …… 443. “Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people.” ~Jonathan Franzen …… 444. “Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” ~Jennifer Weiner …… 445. “I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.” ~Zsa Zsa Gabor …… 446. “In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” ~Deepak Chopra …… 447. “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”

128 ~ Ann Landers …… 448. “We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.” ~Quote for someone facing divorce by Anne Frank (June 1929 - March 1945) …… 449. “Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today.” ~Robert Hastings …… 450. “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” ~Author Unknown …… 451. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” ~Author Unknown …… 452. “Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.”

129 ~Thomas Dewar …… 453. “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” ~Chinese Proverb …… 454. “Forgiveness is not the misguided act of condoning irresponsible, hurtful behavior. Nor is it a superficial turning of the other cheek that leaves us feeling victimized and martyred. Rather it is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past.” ~Joan Borysenko …… 455. “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson …… 456. “If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.” ~Author Unknown …… 457.

130 “You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.” ~Author Unknown …… 458. “Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Author Unknown …… 459. “The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.” ~Tigress Luv …… 460. “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~M. Kathleen Casey …… 461. “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings & emotions.” ~Will Smith …… 462.

131 “It’s not the situation ... It’s your reaction to the situation.” ~Robert Conklin …… 463. “Re-examine all you have been told . . . Dismiss what insults your Soul.” ~Walt Whitman …… 464. “It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.” ~Abraham Lincoln …… 465. “Peace is not a relationship of nations. It is a condition of mind brought about by a serenity of soul. Lasting peace can come only to peaceful people.” ~Jawaharlal Nehru …… 466. “Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” ~Colette …… 467.

132 “When your heart speaks, take good notes.” ~Judith Campbell …… 468. “The beginning is always today.” ~Mary Wollstonecraft …… 469. “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” ~John Wayne …… 470. “Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” ~Hannah Arendt …… 471. “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr. …… 472.

133 “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.” ~Robert Kiyosaki …… 473. “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.” ~ Jim Rohn …… 474. “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” ~Eliza Tabor …… 475. “People look at you and me to see what they are supposed to be. And, if we don’t disappoint them, maybe, just maybe, they won’t disappoint us.” ~Walt Disney …… 476. “Disappointments are to the soul what the thunder-storm is to the air.” ~Friedrich Schiller ……

134 477. “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. …… 478. “There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” ~Harry Crews …… 479. “Suspense is worse than disappointment.” ~Robert Burns …… 480. “Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” ~Henry Ward Beecher …… 481. “Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” ~Hannah Arendt ……

135 482. “Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again--this is the brave and happy life.” ~J. E. Buchrose …… 483. “I’ve done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt.” ~Jessamyn West …… 484. “Love, to be real, must cost - it must hurt - it must empty us of self.” ~Mother Teresa …… 485. “Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn’t really hurt.” ~George Bernard Shaw …… 486. “I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.” ~C. S. Lewis

136 …… 487. “Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore; only the life I have lived. The pain now is part of the happiness then.” ~Anthony Hopkins …… 488. “We are slow to believe that which if believed would hurt our feelings.” ~Louis Nizer …… 489. “We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” ~Seneca …… 490. “If you love large, you’ve got to hurt large. If you’ve got a lot of light, you’ve probably got an equal amount of darkness.” ~Sarah McLachlan ……

137 Are you ready to soar again after Abuse/Break Up?

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” ~Deborah Reber

Tips for Overcoming an Abuse/Break-Up: 1. Don’t Contact: This will eliminate any on-again, off-again tension and confusion. 2. Get Rid of Reminders: If you can’t get yourself to throw away their belongings, donate them or pack them away and out of sight … forever. 3. Spend Time With Family and Friends: It’s pretty common for friends to keep their distance if they knew about your bad relationship, so this is a good time for you to reconnect with them. Don’t spend much time (if at all) talking to them about your break-up. 4. Remember the Bad Times: Remembering the good times on occasion is okay, but don’t forget the things that caused the break-up. Then eventually forget those as well and move on. 5. Celebrate Your Freedom: Spend some time doing whatever you want to do. Take a class, get organized … go to Las Vegas!

138 Take inspiration from these people who survived Bad Relationships: Tina Turner: Tina became isolated from friends, family and colleagues during the time she was verbally and physically abused by her husband Ike. She credits Buddhism and its calming spiritual chants for helping her survive her struggle. After a violent argument with Ike she left her turbulent 16-year marriage with 36 cents and a gas credit card in her pocket, and hid from Ike until their divorce. During that time she put together a one-woman cabaret show which she took into nightclubs, appeared on several TV programs, but was still struggling to make ends meet due to back taxes she was responsible for. Because of her faith in a higher being and in herself, Tina’s career skyrocketed to heights she never could have imagined, and she eventually wiped the demons from the slate of her past. Bill Clinton: In his autobiography he says his stepfather Roger’s frequent violent outbursts marred him as a child. At age of 15, Clinton warned Roger to never hit his mother or half-brother ever again. So standing up to him was a life-changing moment for the future U.S. president. Tyler Perry: Before the age of 10, this Hollywood mogul had been molested by three different men and one woman. He and his mother suffered brutal physical and verbal abuse from his father. Perry eventually tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. As an adult, he began his journey toward healing after watching an episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” and credits her with helping to change his life. Many of his plays and movies are based in truth about abuse he has witnessed, and in 2011 Forbes named him the highest paid male in entertainment. National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233): Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. This line is a resource for safety information, and can connect any caller with shelters and protection advocates in their area.

139 Hurt/Shame

491. “There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” ~Harry Crews …… 492. “No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt, you can always bounce back.” ~ …… 493. “Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” ~Joan Lunden …… 494. “Regrets and recriminations only hurt your soul.”

140 ~Armand Hammer …… 495. “I’ve done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt.” ~Jessamyn West …… 496. “Share whatever it is you’re ashamed about. You may think you can hide your shame by not talking about it, but in reality, it’s your shame that’s hiding you.” ~Adam Appleson …… 497. “Everyone needs a sense of shame, but no one needs to feel ashamed.” ~Frederick Nietzsche …… 498. “Shame is pride’s cloak.” ~William Blake …… 499. “Doubt is the brother of shame.”

141 ~Author Unknown …… 500. “It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” ~Mark Twain …… 501. “Exposure to oneself lies at the heart of shame. We discover in experiences of shame the most sensitive, intimate and vulnerable parts of ourselves.” ~Author Unknown …… 502. The basis of shame is not some personal mistake of ours, but the ignominy, the humiliation we feel that we must be what we are without any choice in the matter, and that this humiliation is seen by everyone.” ~Milan Kundera …… 503. “False shame only is harmful.” ~Titus Livy …… 504.

142 “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.” ~Lewis B. Smedes …… 505. “If you can accept losing you can’t win. If you can walk you can run. No one is ever hurt. Hurt is in your mind.” ~Vince Lombardi …… 506. “Hold on, hold on to yourself, for this is gonna hurt like hell.” ~Sarah McLachlan …… 507. “Your shame hides in many places - in anger, blame, denial, workaholism, perfectionism, drinking, and anything else you compulsively engage in to make yourself feel better. But if you could just learn to be vulnerable for one second, and open up to the pain, you would find there’s no place left for your shame to hide.” ~Adam Appleson …… 508.

143 “I don’t believe in guilt, I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person, and don’t judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free.” ~Angelina Jolie …… 509. “You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.” ~Joel Osteen …… 510. “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb …… 511. “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama …… 512. “When you can’t remember why you’re hurt, that’s when you’re healed.” ~

144 …… 513. “Do not suppress it-that would hurt you inside. Do not express it-this would not only hurt you inside, it would cause ripples in your surroundings. What you do is transform it.” ~Peace Pilgrim …… 514. “The folks you help won’t remember it and the folks you hurt won’t ever forget it.” ~Bill Clayton …… 515. “Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.” ~Leo Buscaglia …… 516. “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” ~Mahatma Gandhi …… 517. “I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often,

145 lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” ~Theodore Isaac …… 518. “To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.” ~Jocelyn Soriano …… 519. “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare composed poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well’.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr. …… 520. “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered.” ~Michael J. Fox …… 521.

146 “Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?” ~Fanny Brice …… 522. “Do not think of your fault; still less of others’ faults. Look for what is good and strong and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.” ~John Ruskin …… 523. “Things will happen in your life that you can’t stop, but that’s no reason to shut out the world. There’s a purpose for the good and for the bad.” ~Crazy Pete” Sims …… 524. “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.” ~Morrie Schwartz …… 525. “Don’t look down on anyone unless you are helping them up.”

147 ~Jesse Jackson …… 526. “The difference between holding on to a hurt or releasing it with forgiveness is like the difference between laying your head down at night on a pillow filled with thorns or a pillow filled with rose petals.” ~Loren Fischer …… 527. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt …… 528. “As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery... we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.” ~Dalai Lama …… 529. “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ~Kahlil Gibran

148 …… 530. “We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us —how we can take it, what we do with it —and that is what really counts in the end.” ~Joseph Fort Newton …… 531. “Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.” ~Les Brown …… 532. “Humility is born of the spirit, humiliation of the ego.” ~Alan Cohen …… 533. “The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason.” ~Marya Mannes …… 534. “We live in an atmosphere of shame. We are ashamed of everything that is real about us; ashamed of ourselves, of our relatives, of our incomes, of our accents, of our opinions, of our experience, just as we are ashamed of our naked skins.”

149 ~George Bernard Shaw …… 535. “Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.” ~Nathaniel Branden …… 536. “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” ~Michael J. Fox …… 537. “He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future.” ~Quevedo …… 538. “Be kind to your enemies. They’ll go nuts trying to figure out what you’re up to.” ~Larry Powell …… 539.

150 “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” ~Charles Dickens …… 540. “You cannot let your parents anywhere near your real humiliations.” ~Alice Munro …… 541. “If you always watch the demons behind you, then you will never see the angels ahead.” ~Unknown …… 542. “Shame occurs when you haven’t been able to get away with the ‘who’ you want people to think you are.” ~Carl Whitaker …… 543. “The shame that arises from praise which we do not deserve often makes us do things we should otherwise never have attempted.” ~Francois de La Rochefoucauld ……

151 544. “Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them.” ~François de La Rochefoucauld …… 545. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. …… 546. “You don’t have to justify anything. Being pissed off is absolutely okay.” ~Tori Amos …… 547. “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” ~Unknown …… 548. “When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.”

152 ~Author Unknown …… 549. “You don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.” ~Jane Green …… 550. “Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.” ~Wizard of Oz …… 551. “Take a second to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you. Every time you break up with someone, you get one step closer to that person. You should look at moving on as getting one step closer to the one.” ~Ian Philpot …… 552. “You may trod me in the very dirt. But still, like dust, I’ll rise.” ~Maya Angelou …… 553.

153 “I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I’d rather remember it as it was at it’s best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived.” ~Margaret Mitchell …… 554. “I don’t miss him, I miss whoever I thought he was.” ~Author Unknown …… 555. “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault …… 556. “The only way out is through.” ~Robert Frost …… 557. “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” ~Isaiah 54:17 …… 558.

154 “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Las Tzu …… 559. “All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.” ~Mitch Albom …… 560. “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.” ~Henry David Thoreau ……

155 Are you ready to let go of hurt/shame?

“If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” ~Julia Soul

Tips for Overcoming Hurt/Shame: 1. Acknowledge it, Then Let it Go: Rather than repressing your feelings, accept that you’ve been made to believe you’ve done something wrong or that you’re not worthy of respect, which is the first step toward releasing yourself from the grip of hurt or shame. Realize the power you have to break this grip and shape your own thoughts, make your own decisions, and become your own person. 2. Decide to Stop Blaming Yourself: You’re a unique individual with a purpose and a reason to be on earth. You’re not your past, and you will not continue to relive it. What is done is done, and the future holds any possibilities you’re willing to work for. Tell yourself, I take no responsibility and I will no longer be a victim. 3. Envision How You Want to Be: Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a better place. Where will you be? How will you feel? How will you act? Give yourself a reason why you must change, and a timeframe to get yourself there. Lock this vision into your brain and revisit your goals daily. 4. Seek a Strong Support System: There’s an entire world of possibilities right outside your door. Help others and you will

156 help yourself. Find groups and organizations to join that are dedicated to helping others in need. You’ll always find supportive friendships among people who give their time to human services organizations. Take inspiration from these people who survived Hurt and Shame: Mia Farrow: In 1979, actor and director Woody Allen left his 14- year relationship with the actress for her adopted teenage daughter Soon-Yi. Rather than allowing public humiliation to ruin her, Farrow largely gave up acting and focused her attention on raising her children – one of whom was Ronan Farrow, the former couple’s only biological child. Ronan, a child genius, graduated from Yale Law School, worked for the U.S. State Department, was named a Rhodes Scholar, and served as a foreign policy official in the Obama Administration. Never having contact with his infamous father after his parent’s split, Ronan followed in his mother’s footsteps as a humanitarian. Jackie Robinson: Robinson became the first African-American to play in major league baseball when the Brooklyn Dodgers started him at first base on April 15, 1947, which ended the segregation that had relegated black players to the Negro League for six decades. Robinson suffered hatred, animosity and threats from the public, opponents, and players slow to accept him as a member of their team. Even though some were openly hostile, and others refused to speak to him or sit near him, he refused to give up. He realized his purpose in life, and started the momentum a decade before Mark Luther King, Jr. came on the Civil Rights scene. Baseball was his vehicle to do so. In addition to his cultural impact, Robinson had an exceptional 10-season baseball career and played in six World Series. With his .342 batting average and 37 stolen bases, he won the National League’s Most Valuable Player Award in 1949 – the first player to ever be honored with that designation. Elton John: The British pop star wasn’t always an openly proud, gay man. There was a time in Sir John’s young life where he struggled to keep his sexuality a secret. Upset over a lost lover, the “Rocket Man” singer tried to end his life by sticking his head inside

157 of a gas oven. Luckily a friend caught him in the act before anything serious happened. Before he was comfortable enough to live out loud and proud, the rock star was previously married to his secretary. When that ended in divorce, Sir John married another woman which also didn’t work out. The 66-year-old singer is now in a civil partnership with long-term partner, David Furnish, and the happy couple have two sons through surrogacy. Hurt and shame build as a persistent and unyielding accumulation of negative thoughts over weeks, months, or even a lifetime. Decide you will not be defeated, and put your survival plan into action.

158 Grief/Sorrow/Loss

561. “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like its heaven on Earth.” ~Mark Twain.” …… 562. “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” ~Unknown Author …… 563. “Life without a purpose is a languid, drifting thing; every day we ought to review our purpose, saying to ourselves, ‘This day let me make a sound beginning, for what we have hitherto done is naught’.” ~Thomas Kempis …… 564. “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow’.”

159 ~Mary Anne Radmacher …… 565. “There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh …… 566. “When your fear touches someone’s pain, it becomes pity, when your love touches someone’s pain, it become compassion.” ~Stephen Levine …… 567. “If I can see pain in your eyes then share with me your tears. If I can see joy in your eyes then share with me your smile.” ~Santosh Kalwar …… 568. “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” ~Fred Rogers ……

160 569. “The reality is that we don’t forget, move on, and have closure, but rather we honor, we remember, and incorporate our deceased children and siblings into our lives in a new way. In fact, keeping memories of your loved one alive in your mind and heart is an important part of your healing journey.” ~Harriet Schiff, “The Bereaved Parent” …… 570. “We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there.” ~Harold Kushner, “When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough” …… 571. “What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” ~Helen Keller …… 572. “When a person is born we rejoice, and when they’re married we jubilant, but when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.” ~ ……

161 573. “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” ~C. S. Lewis …… 574. “She was no longer wresting with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.” ~George Eliot …… 575. “Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” ~Earl Grollman …… 576. “One cannot get through life without pain...What we can do is choose how to use the pain life presents to us.” ~Bernie S. Siegel …… 577. “Honest listening is one of the best medicines we can offer the dying and the bereaved.” ~Jean Cameron ……

162 578. “You give yourself permission to grieve by recognizing the need for grieving. Grieving is the natural way of working through the loss of a love. Grieving is not weakness nor absence of faith. Grieving is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired or sneezing when your nose itches. It is nature’s way of healing a broken heart.” ~Doug Manning …… 579. “For some moments in life there are no words.” ~David Seltzer, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” …… 580. “Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.” ~Patti Smith …… 581. “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” ~Henry Wordsworth …… 582. “We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid

163 of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there.” ~Harold Kushner …… 583. “A child can live with anything as long as he or she is told the truth and is allowed to share with loved ones the natural feelings people have when they are suffering.” ~Eda LeShan 584. “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” ~Henri Nouwen …… 585. “Nothing that grieves us can be called little; by the external laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.” ~Mark Twain …… 586.

164 “Deposits of unfinished grief reside in more American hearts that I ever imagined. Until these pockets are opened and their contents aired openly, they block unimagined amounts of human growth and potential. They can give rise to bizarre and unexplained behavior which causes untold internal stress.” ~Robert Kavanaugh …… 587. “Grieving is a journey that teaches us how to love in a new way now that our loved one is no longer with us. Consciously remembering those who have died is the key that opens the hearts, that allows us to love them in new ways.” ~Tom Attig, “The Heart of Grief” …… 588. “Ah. I smiled. I’m not really here to keep you from freaking out. I’m here to be with you while you freak out, or grieve or laugh or suffer or sing. It is a ministry of presence. It is showing up with a loving heart.” ~Kate Braestrup, ‘Here If You Need Me: A True Story” …… 589. “He wept, and it felt as if the tears were cleansing him, as if his body needed to empty itself.” ~Lois Lowry …… 590.

165 “At some of the darkest moments in my life, some people I thought of as friends deserted me-some because they cared about me and it hurt them to see me in pain; others because I reminded them of their own vulnerability, and that was more than they could handle. But real friends overcame their discomfort and came to sit with me. If they had not words to make me feel better, they sat in silence (much better than saying, “You’ll get over it,” or “It’s not so bad; others have it worse”) and I loved them for it.” ~Harold Kushner, “Living a Life that Matters” …… 591. “It is very easy to see the allure of alcohol to dull the pain and the temptation to punish myself for something that is not my fault. But the sobering truth is that if I step onto the path of self-destruction, I know I will never come back.” ~Bill Jenkins, “What to Do When the Police Leave: A Guide to the First Days of Traumatic Loss” …… 592. “While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.” ~ Samuel Johnson …… 593. “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er- fraught heart and bids it break.” ~William Shakespeare

166 …… 594. “Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists.” ~Antonio Porchia, “Voces (Voices)” …… 595. “Even hundredfold grief is divisible by love.” ~Terri Guillemets …… 596. “Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 597. “Time is a physician that heals every grief.” ~Diphilus …… 598. “You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” ~Jan Glidewell ……

167 599. “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” ~Author Unknown …… 600. “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” ~Author Unknown …… 601. “If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble.” ~Moliere …… 602. “Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight.” ~Marcus Aurelius …… 603. “In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.” ~Robert Ingersoll ……

168 604. “Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” ~Jacques Prévert …… 605. “Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway. ~ Mary C. Crowley …… 606. “She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.” ~George Eliot …… 607. “As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us.” ~Sascha …… 608. “I measure every grief I meet with narrow, probing eyes - I wonder if it weighs like mine - or has an easier size.” ~

169 …… 609. “Courage can be just as infectious as fear.” ~Alice Miller, “For Your Own Good” …… 610. “Suicide is unspeakable, and to speak it is somehow to bring it into a human, imaginable sphere, even if only in the moment of speaking. The need to tell is both a need to tell oneself and a need to be heard. Telling and being heard are the first steps toward reconnection.” ~Victoria Alexander, “In the Wake of Suicide: Stories of the People Left Behind” …… 611. “In the face of events that threaten to overwhelm our lives, storytelling gives us a way of reclaiming ourselves and reaffirming our connections with other people--those who listen to our stories and, by doing so, bear witness with us.” ~Victoria Alexander, “In the Wake of Suicide: Stories of the People Left Behind” …… 612. “Courage is being afraid and going on the journey anyhow.” ~John Wayne …… 613.

170 “You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” ~Jan Glidwell …… 614. “We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” ~Kenji Miyazawa …… 615. “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.” ~Pierre Auguste Renoir …… 616. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its job.” ~ Leo Buscaglia …… 617. “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~Lao Tzu …… 618.

171 “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” ~William Shakespeare …… 619. “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of overcoming it.” ~Helen Keller …… 620. “You’re surprised when you find out that you’re going to make it… There is some kind of ability we all have that just shows up on our front porch.” ~Anonymous …… 621. “I would say to those who mourn…look upon each day that comes as a challenge, as a test of courage. The pain will come in waves, some days worse than others, for no apparent reason. Accept the pain. Do not suppress it. Never attempt to hide grief.” ~Daphne du Maurier …… 622. “In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing

172 it, will make you less miserable now. I have had enough experience to make this statement.” ~Abraham Lincoln …… 623. “We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.” ~Marion Wright Edelman …… 624. “You don’t think you’ll live past it and you don’t really. The person you were is gone. But the half of you that’s still alive wakes up one day and takes over again.” ~Barbara Kingsolver …… 625. “Let mourning stop when one’s grief is fully expressed.” ~Confucius …… 626. “The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.” ~Mignon McLaughlin ……

173 627. “I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have--life itself.” ~Walter Anderson …… 628. “Grief is a most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But, it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.” ~Arthur Golden …… 629. “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” ~Henry Wordsworth Longfellow …… 630. “There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften.” ~Cicero …… 631. “Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.” ~Christian Nevell Bovee

174 …… 632. “Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength.” ~Ovid …… 633. “In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish.” ~Simone Weil …… 634. “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” ~ …… 635. “Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons.” ~Blaise Pascal …… 636. “The only cure for grief is action.” ~G. H. Lewes

175 …… 637. “The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief.” ~Hilary Stanton Zunin …… 638. “The darker the night, the brighter the stars, the deeper the grief, the closer is God!” ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky …… 639. “Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone. His own burden in his own way. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh …… 640. “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ~William Shakespeare …… 641. “Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” ~Sarah Dessen ……

176 642. “The tears I feel today I’ll wait to shed tomorrow. Though I’ll not sleep this night or find surcease from sorrow. My eyes must keep their sight: I dare not be tear-blinded. I must be free to talk Not choked with grief, clear-minded. My mouth cannot betray The anguish that I know. Yes, I’ll keep my tears til later: But my grief will never go.” ~Anne McCaffrey …… 643. “Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn’t allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it’s over and you’re alone, you begin to see that it wasn’t just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can’t get off your knees for a long time, you’re driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.” ~Dean Koontz ……

177 644. “Grief can take care if itself. But to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. ~Mark Twain …… 645. “Tears are the silent language of grief.” ~Voltaire …… 646. “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~Lao Tzu …… 647. “Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.” ~Mark Twain …… 648. “When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ~Khalil Gibran

178 …… 649. “The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.” ~Mark Twain …… 650. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie Ten Boom …… 651. “We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression.” ~Confucius …… 652. “Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.” ~Henry David Thoreau …… 653. “Only by joy and sorrow does a person know anything about themselves and their destiny. They learn what to do and what to avoid.”

179 ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe …… 654. “It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it.” ~Amelia Barr …… 655. “Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life.” ~Lord Byron …… 656. “Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it.” ~Victor Hugo …… 657. “Since my earliest childhood a barb of sorrow has lodged in my heart. As long as it stays I am ironic if it is pulled out I shall die.” ~Soren Kierkegaard …… 658.

180 “Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.” ~Steven Tyler …… 659. “Can I see another’s woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another’s grief, and not seek for kind relief?” ~William Blake …… 660. “Old age is not a matter for sorrow. It is matter for thanks if we have left our work done behind us.” ~Thomas Carlyle …… 661. “Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps.” ~William Blake …… 662. “Truly, it is in darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.” ~Meister Eckhart …… 663.

181 “Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish; Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” ~Thomas More …… 664. “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~Lao Tzu …… 665. “When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ~Khalil Gibran …… 666. “The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.” ~Mark Twain …… 667. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”

182 ~Corrie Ten Boom …… 668. “You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly —that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ~Anne Lamott …… 669. “Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering.” ~Roland Barthes …… 670. “He that is thy friend indeed, He will help thee in thy need: If thou sorrow, he will weep; If thou wake, he cannot sleep: Thus of every grief in heart He with thee does bear a part. These are certain signs to know Faithful friend from flattering foe.” ~William Shakespeare …… 671.

183 “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of overcoming it.” ~Helen Keller …… 672. “You’re surprised when you find out that you’re going to make it… There is some kind of ability we all have that just shows up on our front porch.” ~Anonymous …… 673. “I would say to those who mourn…look upon each day that comes as a challenge, as a test of courage. The pain will come in waves, some days worse than others, for no apparent reason. Accept the pain. Do not suppress it. Never attempt to hide grief.” ~Daphne du Maurier …… 674. “In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing it, will make you less miserable now. I have had enough experience to make this statement.” ~Abraham Lincoln …… 675.

184 “You don’t think you’ll live past it and you don’t really. The person you were is gone. But the half of you that’s still alive wakes up one day and takes over again.” ~Barbara Kingsolver …… 676. “Let mourning stop when one’s grief is fully expressed.” ~Confucius …… 677. “The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.” ~Mignon McLaughlin …… 678. “I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have--life itself.” ~Walter Anderson …… 679. “There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften.” ~Cicero ……

185 680. “Grief is a most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But, it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.” ~Arthur Golden ……

186 Are you ready to let go of Grief/Sorrow/Loss?

“I would never trust a man who didn’t cry; he wouldn’t be human.” ~Norman Schwarzkopf

Tips for Overcoming Grief/Sorrow/Loss: 1. Accept the Grieving Process: The five stages of grief include, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Knowing this is normal will make it easier for you to accept that you’ll heal in time. 2. Look for Support: The most important thing you can do at a time like this is express how you feel. Turn to family members and friends; find comfort in your faith; join a support group; talk to a counselor or therapist. 3. Look Out for Your Physical and Mental Needs: Rather than suppress your grief, it’s better to face your feelings. Talk to someone or keep a journal. Eat well and get enough rest. 4. Don’t Let Anyone Determine How You Should Feel: Own your feelings, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to without shame or judgment. Take inspiration from these people who have survived Grief, Sorrow, and Loss: Jennifer Hudson: The recording artist, spokesperson and Oscar- winning actress suffered unimaginable pain when her mother, brother and nephew were murdered in October 2008 by her brother-

187 in-law William Baflour. When asked what sustained her through the tragedy, Hudson said, “Definitely it’s my faith in God and growing up. My mother, even though she’s not here now, she trained us well.” Hudson’s family created the Hudson-King Foundation for Families of Slain Victims in honor of Darnell Hudson Donerson, Jason Hudson, and Julian King. Nancy Brinker: After her only sister, Susan G. Komen, died from breast cancer in 1980 at age 36, Brinker founded Susan G. Komen for the Cure after promising her dying sibling that she would do everything in her power to end breast cancer. Brinker, a breast cancer survivor herself, used her experience to heighten understanding of the disease. Since its inception in 1982, the nonprofit foundation has raised over $1.9 billion for research, education and health services. Eric Clapton: The tragic death of his four-year-old son, Conor -- who fell from the window of his 53rd story apartment building -- had a profound effect on the singer/songwriter who spent the next nine months coming to terms with his loss instead of performing. His song, “Tears in Heaven,” was Clapton’s way of pouring his grief about his son’s death into his music. At the 1993 Grammy Awards, “Tears” won awards for Best Pop Vocal Performance as well as Song of the Year. He also wrote “The Circus Left Town” and “Lonely Stranger” for Conor. Everyone grieves differently since it’s a highly personal and intimate experience. How you grieve depends on many things, including your personality, coping mechanisms, life experiences, faith, and the type of loss you experience. Healing comes gradually, so you can’t force the grieving period or hurry it along. For some people grieving takes weeks or months, but for others the process can take years. It’s important that you allow your individualized process to unfold in its own way and in its own time.

188 Loneliness

681. “We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — yes, that’s the way it is, or at least that’s the way I feel it. You’re not as alone as you thought.” ~John Steinbeck …… 682. “Nothing is more sterile or lamentable than the man content to live within himself.” ~Harold Pinter …… 683. “The creak of bed springs suffering under the weight of a restless man is as lonely a sound as I know.” ~Patrick Dewitt …… 684. “Any decent society must generate a feeling of community. Community offsets loneliness. It gives people a vitally necessary sense of belonging. Yet today the institutions on which community

189 depends are crumbling in all the techno-societies. The result is a spreading plague of loneliness.” ~Alvin Toffler, “The Third Wave” …… 685. “Remember we’re all in this alone.” ~Lily Tomlin …… 686. “Nothing makes as lonely as our secrets.” ~Paul Tournier …… 687. “When Christ said: “I was hungry and you fed me,” he didn’t mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that’s real hunger.” ~Mother Teresa …… 688. “There is nothing lonelier than a man with a million friends.”

190 ~William Shatner …… 689. “The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.” ~Thomas Wolfe …… 690. “You do not have to be alone. The world never inflicts loneliness upon us. That is something we choose or reject by ourselves.” ~Darren Shan …… 691. “Nobody can discover the world for somebody else. Only when we discover it for ourselves does it become common ground and a common bond and we cease to be alone.” ~Wendell Berry …… 692. “To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.” ~Suzanne Gordon …… 693.

191 “Solitude is indeed dangerous for a working intelligence. We need to have around us people who think and speak. When we are alone for a long time we people the void with phantoms.” ~Guy de Maupassant …… 694. “If one’s different, one’s bound to be lonely.” ~Aldous Huxley …… 695. “Solitude is fine, but you need someone to tell you that solitude is fine.” ~Honoré de Balzac …… 696. “When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” ~Fiona Apple …… 697. “Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who

192 will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.” ~Janet Fitch …… 698. “Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ~Louise Erdrich …… 699. “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” ~Albert Camus …… 700. “Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness, and he who is a leader must always act alone. And acting alone, accept everything alone.” ~Ferdinand Marcos …… 701.

193 “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” ~Pearl S. Buck …… 702. “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. …… 703. “Loneliness is the first thing which God’s eye named, not good.” ~John Milton …… 704. “It would do the world good if every man would compel himself occasionally to be absolutely alone. Most of the world’s progress has come out of such loneliness.” ~Bruce Barton …… 705. “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried

194 to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” ~Jodi Picoult …… 706. “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~Maya Angelou …… 707. “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” ~Mother Teresa …… 708. “Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.” ~Dag Hammarskjold …… 709. “It’s so lonely when you don’t even know yourself.” ~Unknown Author …… 710.

195 “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” ~Henry Rollins …… 711. “Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is.” ~Unknown Author …… 712. “When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.” ~Ronald Anthony …… 713. “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” ~Pearl S. Buck …… 714. “What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” ~T. S. Eliot …… 715.

196 “With some people solitariness is an escape not from others but from themselves. For they see in the eyes of others only a reflection of themselves.” ~Eric Hoffer …… 716. “It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.” ~Albert Einstein …… 717. “Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” ~Mother Teresa …… 718. “Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.” ~Germaine Greer …… 719. “The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.” ~Cyril Connolly ……

197 720. “Who knows what true loneliness is - not the conventional word but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion.” ~Joseph Conrad …… 721. “Alone, all alone. Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone.” ~Maya Angelou …… 722. “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ~Kurt Vonnegut …… 723. “The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.” ~Thomas Wolfe …… 724.

198 “Loneliness is the first thing which God’s eye named, not good.” ~John Milton …… 725. “Loneliness accepted becomes a gift leading one from a life dominated by tears to the discovery of one’s true self and finally to the heart of longing and the love of God.” ~Unknown Author …… 726. “If you are afraid of being lonely, don’t try to be right.” ~Jules Renard …… 727. “It would do the world good if every man would compel himself occasionally to be absolutely alone. Most of the world’s progress has come out of such loneliness.” ~Bruce Barton …… 728. “The end comes when we no longer talk with ourselves. It is the end of genuine thinking and the beginning of the final loneliness.” ~Edward Gibbon ……

199 729. “Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.” ~Abigail Van Buren …… 730. “When the sparrow sings its final refrain, the hush is felt nowhere more deeply than in the heart of man.” ~Don Williams …… 731. “A lonely man is a lonesome thing, a stone, a bone, a stick, a receptacle for Gilbey’s Gin, a stooped figure sitting at the edge of a hotel bed, heaving copious sighs like the autumn wind.” ~John Cheever …… 732. “Loneliness is the universal problem of rich people.” ~Joan Collins …… 733. “When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?” ~Epictetus

200 …… 734. “Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extended. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.” ~Francis Bacon …… 735. “The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.” ~Thomas Wolfe …… 736. “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.” ~Mark Twain …… 737. “No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the trick is not to get frightened. There’s nothing wrong with being alone.” ~Wendy Wasserstein …… 738. “To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.”

201 ~Suzanne Gordon …… 739. “They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.” ~Sir Philip Sidney …… 740. “People who lead a lonely existence always have something on their minds that they are eager to talk about.” ~Anton Chekhov …… 741. “Separate we come, and separate we go. And this be it known, is all that we know.” ~Conrad Aiken …… 742. “The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.” ~Thomas Wolfe …… 743.

202 “The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” ~Norman Cousins …… 744. “The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.” ~Friedrich Nietszche …… 745. “A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and every woman in the store hits on him. A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out.” ~Doug Coupland …… 746. “A woman who is willing to be herself and pursue her own potential runs not so much the risk of loneliness, as the challenge of exposure to more interesting men - and people in general.” ~ …… 747. “Fame always brings loneliness. Success is as ice cold and lonely as the North Pole.” ~Vicki Baum ……

203 748. “Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.” ~Doug Coupland …… 749. “Friendship needs no words - it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness.” ~Dag Hammarskjold …… 750. “There is absolutely no point in sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. The great power you have is to let go...focus on what you have, no that which has been mean or unkindly removed.” ~Minnie Driver ……

204 Are you ready to emerge from Loneliness?

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” ~Joseph F. Newton

Tips for Overcoming Loneliness: 1. Come Out of Isolation: It’s important to let people get close to you, even if you have a negative self-image. Contrary to feeling that others might not see what they like, this will actually expose you to people to challenge that kind of thinking. 2. Stay Busy: Consider joining a group like a book or health club, study group, choir or a gardening group. These are safe environments where you can meet people who have similar interests as yours. Commitment-free engagement is a natural way to connect with people around you because you have something in common. 3. Love Yourself: If you have a negative view of yourself, changing this can take time. It can even mean correcting thinking formed from your childhood. If you were mistreated, you need to turn this around. Envision how you want to be treated in the future and what you have to do to make this happen. When you love and respect yourself, it’s much easier to be around other people. 4. Educate Yourself: Contact mental health websites or organizations to identify your own condition. Putting a name

205 to how you feel will eliminate any mystery and make it easier to deal with. “The more you know about yourself, the easier it will be to find answers and the less lonely you will feel. Take inspiration from these people who survived Loneliness: Truman Capote: This versatile American author of many literary classics was a lonely child who taught himself to read and to write before he entered his first year of school. He was often seen at age five carrying a dictionary and notepad, and his loneliness was the reason he began writing fiction at the age of 11. Even though he had a long career writing short stories and articles, he became most known for Breakfast at Tiffany’s and In Cold Blood (and oddly a children’s book). Capote was a brilliant self-publicist who turned himself into a celebrity way before the status he achieved as novelist and screenwriter prior to his death in 1984. Jaycee Dugard: On June 10, 1991, this 11-year-old California girl was kidnapped outside of her South Lake Tahoe home. The FBI’s massive search included dogs, aircraft and hundreds of law enforcement personnel, but to no avail. Jaycee wasn’t to be found. She spent the next 18-plus years held captive by rapist Phillip Garrido and his wife Nancy in the back yard of their home 170 miles away in Antioch, California. During that time she wrote in a journal frequently, documenting deep depression, fear, loneliness and feelings of being unloved. She was finally freed from captivity in August 2009, when security officers from UC Berkeley conducted a routine background check on Phillip Garrido. In July 2011, Jaycee published her harrowing memoir, A Stolen Life, about her years spent with the Garridos, in which she spoke about her freedom, discussing her happiness to be back with her family, and her struggle with freedom. Edward Lewis: Lewis grew up impoverished in the projects of the South Bronx, a neighborhood plagued at that time by drug addiction and violence – a direction he could have followed. But in 1969 he co-founded Essence magazine which was specifically targeted to black women. Its extraordinary success helped him become one of the most successful and respected magazine publishers in the country. Upon graduating from high school in 1958, he had earned a

206 football scholarship and attended the University of New Mexico. But Lewis soon discovered he was one of 12 black students on a campus of more than 8,000. “There’s certainly loneliness, but you have to adjust, you have to adapt,” he said. “And my adapting revolved around meeting some really, really wonderful people who became my friends and enabled me to continue to grow and to do well there.” Loneliness is not the same as being a private person or a loner. -- everyone needs and enjoys time to themselves. Loneliness refers to the amount of social contact and intimacy you would like to have versus the amount you actually get. People who experience loneliness feel isolated or like an outcast, but there are positive ways to address both kinds of feelings.

207 Addiction

751. “What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.” ~Helen Keller …… 752. “People do not lack strength; they lack will.” ~Victor Hugo …… 753. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~Albert Einstein …… 754. “Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. …… 755.

208 “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” ~ …… 756. “Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.” ~Kathleen Casey Theisen …… 757. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” ~Aristotle Onassis …… 758. “Without an understanding of myth or religion, without an understanding of the relationship between destruction and creation, death and rebirth, the individual suffers the mysteries of life as meaningless mayhem alone.” ~ Marion Woodman …… 759. “The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson ……

209 760. “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.” ~Rumi …… 761. “People are hungry for messages of hope and life. What are you broadcasting?” ~Morgan Brittany …… 762. “You can’t take flight without looking up and letting go.” ~She Who Weaves the Web …… 763. “Don’t reinvent the wheel, just realign it.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo …… 764. “Earth teach me to forget myself as melted snow forgets its life. Earth teach me resignation as the leaves which die in the fall. Earth teach me courage as the tree which stands all alone. Earth teach me regeneration as the seed which rises in the spring.” ~William Alexander

210 …… 765. Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” ~Nathaniel Hawthorne …… 766. One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, doubt, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, forgiveness, truth, compassion and faith. The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” ~Author Unknown …… 767. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

211 ~Melody Beattie …… 768. “Things do not change; we change.” ~Henry David Thoreau …… 769. “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 770. “We know perfectly well how to be spiritual. It’s being human that we have trouble with.” ~ Renee Bledsoe …… 771. “The first step in turning the corner in your life is admitting you have a problem. ~Larry Powell …… 772. “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

212 ~Book of John 8:32 …… 773. “If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.” ~Rene Descartes …… 774. “If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” ~Virginia Woolf …… 775. “Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer …… 776. “If you have knowledge, let others light their candles with it.” ~Margret Fuller …… 777. “Tears are a river that takes you somewhere. Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better.”

213 ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes …… 778. “You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.” ~Richard Bach …… 779. “Every man stamps his value on himself... man is made great or small by his own will.” ~J.C.F. von Schiller …… 780. “Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.” ~Albert von Szent-Gyorgy …… 781. “Shame is guilt in overdrive. If it helps, think of the difference between shame and guilt as this: shame says ‘I’m bad, I’m flawed.’ Guilt says ‘what I did was harmful to myself and/or others, and I can do better than that.’ Thoughts of healthy, unbiased guilt are how you converse with your conscience, while feelings of shame don’t even let the conversation begin.” ~Renee Bledsoe ……

214 782. “We move in our recovery from one addiction to another for two major reasons: first, we have not recognized and treated the underlying addictive process, and second, we have not accurately isolated and focused upon the specific addictions.” ~Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D. …… 783. “Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind.” ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge …… 784. “One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” ~Sigmund Freud …… 785. “Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum …… 786. “To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: Leave no stone unturned.” ~Edward Bulwer Lytton

215 …… 787. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~Lao Tzu …… 788. “It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.” ~Arnold Toynbee …… 789. “The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” ~Arthur C. Clarke …… 790. “Our real duty is always found running in the direction of our worthiest desires.” ~Randolph S. Bourne …… 791. “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

216 …… 792. “What comes out of you when you are squeezed is what is inside of you.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer …… 793. “Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let the light in.” ~Groucho Marx …… 794. “Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” ~Dr. Dale Turner …… 795. “The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.” ~Unknown Author …… 796. “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who had endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”

217 ~Galileo Galilei …… 797. “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. …… 798. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 799. “When a man finds no peace within himself, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.” ~L. A. Rouchefolicauld …… 800. “The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

”The most important of life’s battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul.” ~David O. McKay

218 …… 801. “Environment is of supreme importance. It is greater than will power.” ~Paramhansa Yogananda …… 802. “Men’s natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart.” ~Confucius …… 803. “Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.” ~David O. McKay …… 804. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~Martin Luther King Jr. …… 805. “Example sheds a genial ray which men are apt to borrow, so first improve yourself today, and then your friends tomorrow.” ~Unknown Author

219 …… 806. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Gandhi …… 807. “For all sad words of tongue and pen. The saddest are these: ’It might have been’.” ~John Greenleaf Whittier …… 808. “If I am not for myself, who will be? And if I am for myself alone, then what am I? And if not now, when?” ~Rabbi Hillel, Pirke Avot 1:14 …… 809. ”The more often a man feels without acting, the less he’ll be able to act. And in the long run, the less he’ll be able to feel.” ~C. S. Lewis …… 810. ”The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.” ~Lloyd Jones

220 …… 811. “There is a time to let things happen, and a time to make things happen.” ~Unknown Author …… 812. “The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.” ~Unknown Author …… 813. “Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.” ~Aldous Huxley …… 814. “What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him.” ~Louis L. Mann …… 815. “It is possible to be different and still be all right. There can be two -- or more -- answers to the same question, and all can be right.” - Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D.

221 …… 816. “‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the Universe. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of god which is within us. It is not in just some of us, it is in all of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson, excerpt from “A Return to Love” …… 817. “Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.” ~Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D. …… 818. “You become what you behold.” ~William Blake …… 819.

222 “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. ~Frank Outlaw …… 820. “The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” ~Charles Du Bos ……

223 Are you ready to emerge from Addiction?

“It is hard to understand addiction unless you have experienced it.” ~Ken Hensley

Tips for Overcoming Addiction: 1. Admit You Have a Problem, and Be Ready to Change: Make up your mind that you want to stop for yourself and not to please someone else. Don’t waste your time or anyone else’s. 2. Determine Your Willingness: The seriousness of your addiction and how much of your life has been destroyed will most likely determine this. Be completely honest about how willing you are to make a commitment. Are you willing to do just about anything to overcome your addiction? 3. If you have a minimum willingness, community-based treatment might be best for you. Joining a new club, sports team, or other type of community group can help you make new friends and steer you in a new direction in life that doesn’t involve addiction. 4. If you have a strong willingness, counseling or therapy could be your best choice. These options utilize techniques that have proven successful for people who want to overcome their addictions.

224 5. If you have an extreme willingness, a 12-step recovery program could be your best choice. Following is a set of guiding principles (accepted by members as ‘spiritual principles,’ based on the approved literature) outlining a course of action for recovery and includes the following: <> Admitting that one cannot control one’s addiction or compulsion; <> Recognizing a higher power that can give you strength; <> Examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member); <> Making amends for these errors; <> Learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior; <> Helping others who suffer from the same addictions or compulsions. Join an Internet group or website that offers support, resources and information to help in your recovery. Take inspiration from these people who survived Addiction: George Jones: Remembered as one of country music’s all-time greatest stars George started life in Saratoga, Texas, as one of eight children of a very poor family. But after a career that spanned more than 50 years, he is regarded as a country music icon and one of the genre’s all-time greatest stars. However, in the shadows of his very successful recording career he battled drug and alcohol abuse. By the mid-1970s, he fell apart physically and emotionally when the years of drinking and abusing cocaine took its toll, and became unreliable and unpredictable. In 1983, abandoned his self-destructive ways when he married his fourth wife, Nancy Sepulveda, who helped him kick his drinking and cocaine addictions. : The former First Lady was an alcoholic and hooked on prescription drugs when her family staged an intervention. She was in denial and is quoted as saying “My makeup wasn’t smeared, I

225 wasn’t disheveled, I behaved politely, and I never finished off a bottle, so how could I be an alcoholic?” Once she accepted her addictions, she became known for her open and honest manner in dealing with her substance abuse and recovery, which led to an improvement in how Americans talked about addictions and alcoholism. Mrs. Ford dedicated her life to helping others and opened the Betty Ford Center that models its programs on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. As a result she has helped thousands, if not millions, of people recover from their addictions. Ray Charles: Known throughout the music industry and the world as one of the most beloved and prolific musicians of all times, Ray Charles’ life was anything but perfect. Blind since age seven, he developed into a musical prodigy. In 1965, when he was arrested for the third time for possession of heroin, and was committed to a Los Angeles treatment center to shake the habit instead of being put in jail. There were most likely mandatory 12-step meetings during and after his rehab as part of the support he needed to successfully maintain sobriety. Charles left the center a new man, and went on to receive the fanfare and adulation very few artists ever realize. Some of our most celebrated never overcame their addictions (i.e., F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sigmund Freud, Vincent van Gogh, ), while others like the ones mentioned above fought their demons and won. Just like every other human being ever born, these famous people had strengths and weaknesses in their character. If addiction has robbed you of your power and control, take it back by making the choice to reach out for help.

226 Insecurity

821. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the things you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~Mark Twain …… 822. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.” ~Mark Twain …… 823. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” ~Albert Einstein …… 824. “You become what you believe.” ~Oprah Winfrey

227 …… 825. “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” ~Benjamin Franklin …… 826. “It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.” ~ …… 827. “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” ~Ayn Rand …… 828. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” ~Alice Walker …… 829. “Dream big and dare to fail.” ~Norman Vaughan

228 …… 830. “The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” ~Chinese Proverb …… 831. “Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ~Jim Morrison …… 832. “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” ~Jamie Paolinetti …… 833. “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” ~Ann Landers …… 834. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

229 ~Les Brown …… 835. “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu …… 836. “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” ~Christopher Reeve …… 837. “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” ~Plato …… 838. “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” ~George Addair …… 839. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

230 …… 840. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” ~Henry David Thoreau …… 841. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 842. “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” ~Henry Ford …… 843. “Inspiration exists, but it must find you working.” ~Pablo Picasso …… 844. “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ~Mark Twain

231 …… 845. “An unexamined life is not worth living.” ~Socrates …… 846. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” ~Chinese Proverb …… 847. “The mind is everything. What you think you become.” ~Buddha …… 848. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” ~Wayne Gretzky …… 849. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” ~Napoleon Hill ……

232 850. “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Christopher Columbus …… 851. “Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” ~J. K. Rowling …… 852. “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” ~Napoleon Hill …… 853. “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.” ~Drake …… 854. “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” ~Theodore Roosevelt …… 855.

233 “Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King Jr. …… 856. “You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” ~Henry Ford …… 857. “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it. ~Salvador Dali …… 858. “You never know what life is like, until you have lived it.” ~Marilyn Monroe …… 859. Every man is guilty of the good he didn’t do.” ~Voltaire …… 860. “Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.”

234 ~Dan Rather …… 861. “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” ~ …… 862. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7 …… 863. “If you try, you might get exactly what you want. If you don’t you don’t.” ~Unknown Author …… 864. “We do not need magic to transform the world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.” ~J. K. Rowling …… 865.

235 “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” ~Babe Ruth …… 866. “We become what we think about.” ~Earl Nightingale …… 867. “Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.” ~W. Clement Stone …… 868. “To be nobody-but-myself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.” ~E. E. Cummings …… 869. “It’s about realizing, painfully, you’ve kept that voice inside yourself, locked away from even yourself. And you step back and see that your jailer has changed faces. You realize you’ve become your own jailer.” ~Tori Amos ……

236 870. “Courage is like a muscle that grows stronger every time I use it.” ~Dawn Jones …… 871. “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~Albert Einstein …… 872. “As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around.” ~Oprah Winfrey …… 873. “Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” ~Susan Gale …… 874. “Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that dis-empowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” ~Tony Robbins

237 …… 875. “Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope.” ~Hal Lindsey …… 876. “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ~Dale Carnegie …… 877. “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher …… 878. “The brave may not live forever, but the cautious don’t live at all.” ~Ashley L. …… 879.

238 “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~Unknown Author …… 880. “Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.” ~Michael Jordan …… 881. “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” ~James Dean …… 882. “True strength is keeping everything together when everyone expects you to fall apart.” ~Unknown Author …… 883. “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger ……

239 884. “Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong.” ~Sarah Dessen …… 885. “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ~Marilyn Monroe …… 886. “Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, ‘Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do’.” ~Unknown Author …… 887. “If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” ~Bruce Lee …… 888. “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.” ~Unknown Author

240 …… 889. “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ~Frank Herbert …… 890. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” ~Philippians 4:6-9 ……

241 Are you ready to emerge from Insecurity/Fear?

“It is hard to understand addiction unless you have experienced it.” ~Ken Hensley

Tips for Overcoming Insecurity: 1. Realize Your Insecurities: Whatever little negative voices in your subconscious are making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, write what they’re saying down and try to eliminate them one by one. 2. Step Out of Yourself: Imagine you’re a completely different person who has total self-confidence. Ask yourself how you would look, speak, move, react, etc. Now practice each day by taking on those behaviors and making any changes you feel are necessary. 3. Consider All the Way Others Would React: How might they respond positively or negatively to an extremely self- confident person? And how would that self-confident person react as a result of their responses? Write down the qualities you admire about this person. 4. Ask Yourself What’s the Worst Thing That Could Happen?: It’s highly unlikely the response would be positive, but no matter the outcome you will definitely survive. Larry – could you take a look at the original as it’s confusing.

242 5. Write Down Your Positive Qualities: Insecurity is often the result of expecting too much. Spend more time thinking about your positive qualities, and less time about the negative. List at least two positives for every negative. 6. Keep Good Company: Surround yourself with friends who say positive things about themselves (and you!) and the world around them. Aspire to be this type of person so they will value their time with you (and vice versa). 7. Be More Forgiving: Don’t be quick to pass judgment on yourself or others. Appreciate differences in people and everyone’s ability to make their own decisions, particularly when they don’t directly affect you. 8. Give Yourself Permission: Accept opportunities from friends and family to participate in activities, rather than being alone during your free time. In addition, volunteering your time to help people in need will greatly improve your self- confidence. 9. Do Something Exciting Every Day: This can be as simple as taking a new route to explore things you’ve never seen. Or it may be as daring as accepting an invitation to an extravagant formal event. Take inspiration from these people who fought Insecurity: Michael Phelps: The record smashing Olympic swimmer was frequently teased as a kid by schoolmates for his lips and big ears. He was determined to succeed despite his physical limitations and ADHD learning disability, and used this as motivation to become one of the world’s greatest Olympians. Chaz Bono: Chastity Bono (the daughter of the famous singing duo Sonny and Cher) grew up in the spotlight. As an adult she suffered through a failed music career, the death of her father in a freak skiing accident, and her partner to cancer which triggered a downward emotional spiral and an addiction to prescription painkillers. After pulling away from the spotlight she realized that drugs and grief weren’t the only causes of her pain, and eventually the truth surfaced

243 when she realized she was transgender (a man living in a woman’s body). Surviving shame, embarrassment and pain, the renamed Chaz struggled through the transition from woman to man, and is now a positive role model to others who are considering the same path. George Washington: Although the first U.S. president had quite an ego, he was insecure about himself in many ways. He built a brilliant military career, and while he was considered the Father of the Country he never had children of his own. He was well-mannered, a student of theater, and had a knack for dramatic affects. Washington’s ego knew he was good, but his insecurity made him feel he would never be good enough. So he worked every day to be better through rigid self-discipline. Your deepest wounds hold the answers to your greatest gifts. Real change in how you feel about yourself starts to happen once you become aware of the negative and positive emotions you have stored in the recesses of your subconscious. Once you eliminate the negative and embrace the positive, you’ll realize that a way out of insecurity really does exist.

244 Anger/Resentment

891. “I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” ~Voltaire …… 892. “Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. …… 893. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou …… 894. “Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

245 …… 895. “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” ~Oscar Wilde …… 896. “Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.” ~Isaac Newton …… 897. “If your teeth are clenched and your fists are clenched, your lifespan is probably clenched.” ~Radici …… 898. “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” ~Mark Twain …… 899. “Being angry is like taking poison and hoping that it will kill your enemy. It only hurts you.” ~Joyce Meyer ……

246 900. “Evil requires the sanction of the victim.” ~Ayn Rand …… 901. “Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” ~Henry James …… 902. “Speak when you are angry - and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. ~Dr. Laurence J. Peter …… 903. “Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.” ~Dr. Joyce Brothers …… 904. ‘Every time you get angry, you poison your own system.” ~Alfred Montapert …… 905.

247 “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” ~Golda Meir …… 906. “At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” ~Marshall B. Rosenberg …… 907. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” ~Yoda …… 908. “Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.” ~James Fallows …… 909. “No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” ~George Jean Nathan …… 910. “Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.”

248 ~Lyman Abbott …… 911. “Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” ~James Thurber …… 912. “Don’t damn up your anger. If you can’t let it out in words, let it out in actions aimed at changing for your life for the better.” ~Adam Appleson …… 913. “In a controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for truth and have begun striving for ourselves.” ~Abraham J. Heschel …… 914. “The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” ~Bede Jarrett …… 915. “You know why babies don’t hold grudges? Because when you make them mad they let you hear it. That’s how you heal

249 emotionally. Acknowledge your anger and have a good scream about it.” ~Adam Appleson …… 916. “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourt …… 917. “Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.” ~Leo Buscaglia …… 918. “He who angers you conquers you.” ~Elizabeth Kenny …… 919. “A man is about as big as the things that make him angry.” ~Winston Churchill …… 920.

250 “Anybody can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” ~Aristotle …… 921. “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson …… 922. “Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ~Ambrose Bierce …… 923. “Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.” ~Miguel Angel Ruiz …… 924. “People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” ~Stephen Hawking

251 …… 925. “It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” ~Wayne Dyer …… 926. “We praise a man who feels angry on the right grounds and against the right persons and also in the right manner at the right moment and for the right length of time.” ~Aristotle …… 927. “There are two things a person should never be angry at - what they can help, and what they cannot.” ~Plato …… 928. “We all want to be in loved and find that person who is going to love us no matter how our feet smell, no matter how angry we get one day, no matter the things we say that we don’t mean.” ~Will Smith …… 929.

252 “Don’t get the impression that you arouse my anger. You see, one can only be angry with those he respects.” ~Richard M. Nixon …… 930. “When you are angry or frustrated, what comes out? Whatever it is, it’s a good indication of what you’re made of.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. …… 931. “A man is about as big as the things that make him angry.” ~Winston Churchill …… 932. “Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can’t last.” ~Greg Evans …… 933. “Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.” ~Albert Einstein …… 934. “Anger as soon as fed is dead - Tis starving makes it fat.”

253 ~Emily Dickinson …… 935. “Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.” ~William Shenstone …… 936. “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” ~Benjamin Franklin …… 937. “ Anger is not bad. Anger can be a very positive thing, the thing that moves us beyond the acceptance of evil.” ~Joan Chittister …… 938. “Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” ~Elizabeth I …… 939. “Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” ~Cherie Carter-Scott

254 …… 940. “ Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.” ~Dr. Joyce Brothers …… 941. “Anger ventilated often hurries towards forgiveness; anger concealed often hardens into revenge.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton …… 942. “Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” ~Buddha …… 943. “Anyone can become angry -- that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way -- this is not easy.” ~Aristotle …… 944. “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”

255 ~Maya Angelou …… 945. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha …… 946. “Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” ~Joan Lunden …… 947. “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” ~Chinese Proverbs …… 948. “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” ~Benjamin Franklin …… 949. “ When anger rises, think of the consequences.”

256 ~Confucius …… 950. “When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” ~Epictetus …… 951. “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” ~Buddha …… 952. “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~ Thomas à Kempis …… 953. “I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow.” ~William Blake …… 954.

257 “Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry.” ~Henry Ward Beecher …… 955. “To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves.” ~Alexander Pope …… 956. “No person is important enough to make me angry.” ~Thomas Carlyle …… 957. “I didn’t really want to live, so anything that was an investment in time made me angry... but also I just felt sad. When the hopelessness is hurting you, it’s the fixtures and fittings that finish you off.” ~Angelina Jolie …… 958. “Let us not listen to those who think we ought to be angry with our enemies, and who believe this to be great and manly. Nothing is so praiseworthy, nothing so clearly shows a great and noble soul, as clemency and readiness to forgive.” ~Marcus Tullius Cicero ……

258 959. “I’m not as angry as I used to be. But I can get in touch with that anger pretty quickly if I feel my space is being invaded or somebody is not treating me with the respect that I think I want.” ~Samuel L. Jackson …… 960. “Before Nelson Mandela was arrested in 1962, he was an angry, relatively young man. He founded the ANC’s military wing. When he was released, he surprised everyone because he was talking about reconciliation and forgiveness and not about revenge.” ~Desmond Tutu ……

259 Are you ready to be freed from Anger/Resentment?

“I also came to realize that if people could make me angry they could control me. Why should I give someone else such power over my life?” ~Ben Carson

Tips for Overcoming Anger/Resentment: 1. Express Your Anger: Suppressing your anger can cause you to explode. If you feel like crying or screaming, find a place where you can be alone and let it all out. 2. Discuss Your Feelings: Letting others know how you feel relieves tension, and allows you to reorganize your thoughts, sort out the situation, and regain perspective. Other people may offer advice or share their own experiences. 3. Talk to The Person Who Made You Angry: If you carry anger toward another person, consider discussing your feelings with them. You may learn they don’t know the extent of how you were affected. If talking to the person isn’t an option you could write your feelings in a journal, which will help you move on. 4. Think About What You Learned: Good as well as bad experiences are learning moments. Realize what you learned and move on.

260 5. Consider Anger Management Classes: Classes are offered by a wide variety of organizations. Online courses are offered as well. Take inspiration from these people who dealt with Anger and Resentment: Ben Carson: Among other surgical innovations, the American neurosurgeon did pioneering work on the successful separation of conjoined twins joined at the head. He was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the United States, by President George W. Bush in 2008. But years before his legendary medical success he had grown up with a temper that turned into violent behavior. He once tried to hit his mother with a hammer because she disagreed with his choice of clothes. Another time he inflicted a major head injury on a classmate in a dispute over a locker. In a final incident, Ben nearly stabbed a friend to death after arguing over a choice of radio stations. Terrified by his actions, he prayed to God to help him find a way to deal with his temper. He found salvation in a passage in the Bible that went, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:22) Pat Riley: In 1990, amid rumors of player mistreatment and anger problems Riley stepped down as coach of the Los Angeles Lakers. Despite this setback he was named NBA Coach of the Year twice, and became head coach for the New York Knicks in 1991. He was named Coach of the Year in 1993, and took the team to the NBA Finals in 1994. In 1995, Riley resigned his post at the Knicks, and became head coach and general manager of the Miami Heat where he was named Coach of the Year again in 1997. After stepping down as coach for several years to concentrate on his general manager duties, he resumed coaching in 2005 with an all-star team. After a rough season with the Miami Heat, Riley officially retired from coaching in 2008. It is not known whether he sought or was ever treated for anger management. Kelly Ripa: Talk show host Kelly Ripa suffers from misophonia, a rare disorder characterized by an intense rage and anxiety triggered by specific sounds. While Ripa’s case is mild compared to some, she

261 says her anxiety levels increase considerably when exposed to certain sounds. “It could be as simple as the sound of swallowing. Well, I think that my gut reaction is to yell, but I control that. If my husband eats a peach, I have to leave the room.” People who suffer this disorder have sudden onsets of intense anger and annoyance, which are typically triggered by someone they are emotionally close to. A variety of treatments are prescribed to treat the condition for which there is no current cure. According to the Mayo Clinic learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Their program recommends that people consider seeking help for anger issues if their anger seems out of control, causes them to do things they’ll regret or will hurt others, or is taking a toll on their personal relationships. If you have issues of anger and violence, you might explore local anger management classes or anger management counseling.

262 Failure/Misfortune

961. “I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” ~William Allen White …… 962. If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius …… 963. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill …… 964. “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ~Albert Camus

263 …… 965. “You were given this life, because you are strong enough to live it.” ~Robin Sharma …… 966. “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” ~Chinese Proverb …… 967. “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln …… 968. “Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.” ~Burton Hills …… 969. “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

264 …… 960. “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” ~Carl Jung …… 961. “More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them.” ~Harold J. Smith …… 962. “What you do for a living doesn’t define you as a person.” ~Michael Strahan …… 963. “Dream big and dare to fail.” ~Norman Vaughan …… 964. “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” ~Maya Angelou ……

265 965. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ~Confucius …… 966. “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” ~Frank Zappa …… 967. “Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” ~Farrah Gray …… 968. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~George Eliot …… 969. “The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.” ~Arthur C. Clarke …… 970.

266 “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” ~Joshua J. Marine …… 971. “The difference between a successful person and others is not lack of strength not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” ~Vince Lombardi …… 972. “Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking what’s in it for me?” ~Brian Tracy …… 973. “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.” ~Erma Bombeck …… 974. “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” ~John Maxwell ……

267 975. “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” ~Albert Einstein …… 976. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” ~Woody Allen …… 977. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” ~Robert Frost …… 978. ““Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” ~Vince Lombardi …… 979. “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey …… 980.

268 “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” ~ …… 981. “I demolish my bridges behind me – then there is no choice but forward.” ~Fridtjof Nansen …… 982. “We all come into this world without having put forth any effort whatsoever. But none of us should leave here the exact same way.” ~Larry Powell …… 983. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” ~John Barrymore …… 984. “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln …… 985.

269 “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.” ~Nelson Mandela …… 986. “Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” ~Gloria Steinem …… 987. “Success doesn’t come to you? You go to it.” ~Marva Collins …… 988. “Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.” ~Thomas J. Watson …… 989. “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.” ~Earl Nightingale ……

270 990. “When a man feels throbbing within him the power to do what he undertakes as well as it can possibly be done, this is happiness, this is success.” ~Orison Swett Marden …… 991. “God gives every bird a worm, but he does not throw it into the nest.” ~Swedish Proverb …… 992. “Success is not permanent. The same is also true of failure.” ~Dell Crossword …… 993. “Few men have the natural strength to honor a friend’s success without envy.” ~Aeschylus …… 994. “A successful man continues to look for work after he has found a job.” ~Anonymous

271 …… 995. “If at first you do succeed try not to look too surprised.” ~Anonymous …… 996. “It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final.” ~Anonymous …… 997. “Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.” ~Anonymous …… 998. “So far the only successful substitute for brains is silence.” ~Anonymous …… 999. “A day will never be anymore than what you make of it. Practice being a “doer”!” ~Josh S. Hinds

272 …… 1000. “Success always occurs in private and failure in full public view.” ~Anonymous …… 1001. “Success comes before work only in the dictionary.” ~Anonymous …… 1002. “Success: willing to do what the average person is not willing to do.” ~Anonymous …… 1003. “No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.” ~Charles Kendall Adams …… 1004. “Success does not come to those who wait... and it does not wait for anyone to come to it.”

273 ~Anonymous …… 1005. “Unless you’re willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won’t happen.” ~Phillip Adams …… 1006. “It is easy to get to the top after you get through the crowd at the bottom.” ~Zig Ziglar …… 1007. “ We can have more than we’ve got because we can become more than we are.” ~Jim Rohn …… 1008. “There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning.” ~Christopher Morley …… 1009. “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.”

274 ~Vincent T. Lombardi …… 1010. “Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence, that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” ~Mario Andretti …… 1011. “I believe the greater the handicap, the greater the triumph.” ~John H. Johnson …… 1012. “The successful always has a number of projects planned, to which he looks forward. Anyone of them could change the course of his life overnight.” ~Mark Caine …… 1013. “The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.” ~Dale Carnegie …… 1014.

275 “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle …… 1015. “To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: Leave no stone unturned.” ~Edward Bulwer-Lytton …… 1016. “Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.” ~Dale Carnegie …… 1017. “The easiest thing in the world to be, is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.” ~Leo Buscaglia …… 1018. “You cannot hate other people without hating yourself.” ~Oprah Winfrey …… 1019.

276 “If you are wealthy, be humble. Plants bend when they bear fruit.” ~Sri Sai Satcharita …… 1020. “The true self that we are searching for is also searching for us.” ~Stephen Cope …… 1021. “Those who say it can’t be done are usually interrupted by others doing it.” ~Joel Barker …… 1022. “When you complain, you make yourself a victim. When you speak out, you are in power.” ~Eckhart Tolle …… 1023. “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” ~Mark Twain …… 1024.

277 “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” ~Bill Cosby …… 1025. “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” ~William Feather …… 1026. “In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.” ~Albert Schweitzer …… 1027. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” ~Robert Collier …… 1028. “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” ~Anonymous …… 1029.

278 “We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.” ~Lee Iaccoca …… 1030. “We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” ~Kahlil Gibran ……

1031. “Turn your chaos into creativity.” ~Bishop T.D. Jakes ……

279 Are you ready to ascend from Failure/Misfortune?

“Give yourself permission to believe that you can have all that you want in life and have the audacity to go out and pursue it.” ~Larry Powell

Tips for Overcoming Failure and Misfortune: 1. Don’t Punish Yourself or Blame Others: Let go of the guilt and move forward. Believe that your circumstances and the outcomes are within your control. 2. Accept What Has Happened: There are things that are simply beyond your control. Apologize to anyone your actions may have affected. 3. Reach Out For Help: If you carry anger toward another person, consider discussing your feelings with them. You may learn they don’t know the extent of how you were affected. If talking to the person isn’t an option, write down your feelings in a journal. 4. Keep A Journal: Think about what caused the problem and what you may have done to contribute to it. Then consider what you would do differently in the future. Putting your thoughts on paper will help you move on. 5. Don’t Look Back: Don’t allow the past to control your future. Cut your losses and refocus on future achievements.

280 6. Turn a Crisis Into An Opportunity: Dream bigger. Find new areas where you want to succeed. Redefine your goals, and set off in a bold new direction. Take inspiration from these people who dealt with Failure and Misfortune: Thomas Edison: This inventor (1847-1931) was the master of trial and error. When questioned about the thousands of failures he had when trying to create the light bulb he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” But there is much more to the story. As a child he was thought to be dumb, and was told by his teachers that he would never be a success because his mind would wander in class. J. K. Rowling: Her story is the perfect example that success can eventually come to anyone. Before the author of the Harry Potter book series became a success, she was a divorced mother living on welfare, going to school, and trying to write a novel in her spare time. At a Harvard commencement speech she said, “Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one area where I truly belonged.” Oprah Winfrey: At 22, Oprah was fired from her job as a reporter because she was “unfit for TV.” In 1983, she relocated to Chicago to host a low-rated half-hour morning talk show. The first episode aired on January 2, 1984, and within months the show went from last place in the ratings to overtaking the highest rated talk show in Chicago. “The Oprah Winfrey” talk show went on to dominate daytime TV for 25 years. Beyond her days as a talk show host, she also became an actress, producer, and philanthropist, and eventually started her own television channel, OWN. If failure has negatively impacted you, it might seem impossible that recovery -- let alone success -- will ever happen. From misfortune to rejection to job loss, everyone has experienced that kind of debilitating pain. Small or large failures can consume you like a dark cloud, and cause you to question your self-worth. Don’t allow your present state of mind, or the noise of others people’s opinions, drown out that inner voice telling you that you can succeed against all odds.

281 AFTERWORD INVICTUS BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

282 About The Author

Larry Powell is currently a Dallas-based marketing and advertising professional. Although he has extensive experience in journalism as an academician and business entrepreneur, Life’s Little Book of Survival Quotes is his first foray into publishing his own works. After the Twin Towers terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, all but destroyed his means to earn a living (resulting in the loss of his business, his marriage and his home, colleagues, friends and family members), he fought his internal demons and realized there was no other choice but to pull up his boot straps and keep participating in his life. As new doors started to open, his desire to bring uplifting, inspirational messages and tools to empower people to change their lives increased exponentially. He parlayed his experience in marketing and advertising into strategizing solution-based programs for profit and not-for-profit organizations. He also established strategic platforms to help individuals struggling to rebuild their lives and businesses during these very tough times hit by financial and natural disasters. The entrepreneurial, philanthropic and humanitarian components of Larry’s nature are the basis for his need to nurture and support people to reach their fullest potential. He is a life coach, a mentor, philosopher, and an educator – all of which he learned through

283 practical applications of the education he gained throughout his collegiate years. Powell earned his Bachelor of Fine Arts in advertising from the University of Texas at Arlington. But his professorships in communication and advertising at the P.I. Reed School of Journalism, University of Missouri School of Journalism, and Southern Methodist University – and his business training of Chinese journalists in Beijing – were the real impetus behind teaching and inspiring people around the world how to live a more fulfilling, rewarding life. Underpinning his drive to affect change are four key components: The human spirit, survival, diversity, and the “mojo” (the magic) in his passion for success -- all of which have been assimilated into his work with organizations such as the Boy Scouts of America, Habitat for Humanity, Boys & Girls Clubs of America, Texas Christian University, and dozens of others across the United States. His broad-based skills enabled him to create leadership modules used by staff at all levels, retail and promotional campaigns, city and state officials, and media clients. As well as for business models for multicultural, spiritual, and educational programs, and the individuals running them. The coaching and mentoring programs Powell developed over the years are an amalgam of his career as a director of creative strategy; marketing/communications consultant; business director; founder and director of his own advertising agency; and media mogul – all of which have been foundations for his exploration into journalism. Before looking into the future as a writer, the positions in Powell’s arsenal of achievements speak to his humanitarian involvements, and as a formidable speaker and educator: Quest for Success Entrepreneur Award for Business Excellence; Dallas Society of Visual Communications (DSVC); Board of Directors for Boys & Girls Club of Greater Dallas; Board of Directors, Marcus Graham Project; Board of Advisors for ROXY (TCU Student Ad Agency); member of American Institute of Graphic Arts, Dallas Chamber of Commerce and the Black Chamber of Commerce; the D/FW

284 Minority Business Development Council; and the National Association of Black Journalists. Having crammed several lifetimes into one, he is a true visionary when it comes to the power of the written word. By establishing his Life’s Little Book 12-part series flagship, he is hopeful his words of encouragement can revitalize a disconnected, downtrodden mindset into one that can change any dream into a reality. As with any human being, everything Powell has accomplished shaped him into the person he is today. He feels that without the rollercoaster of the ups and downs of his life, he wouldn’t have collected the thousands of quotes that aided him through his darkest hours. As he says in his Life’s Little Book of Survival Quotes: “I can’t say that I’m all that interested in how people rise and fall. But I am enormously interested in how they fall and rise.”

285 I Really Value Your Opinion

If you enjoyed this book... <> Please leave a review on the page where you bought my book. And if you have suggestions on how I can make the next edition better, I welcome your comments at larry@LLBook- Of.com. <> Log on to my Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/LLBookOf and leave a post that says what you liked about the book. <> Send a Tweet saying, “I recommend reading @LifesLittleBookof1. <> Sign up for our newsletter at Lifes-Little-Book-Of.com.

286 RESOURCES

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287 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marlo-thomas/celebrities-who- survived-bullying_b_3367046.html http://www.lexiyoga.com/loneliness-quotes http://www.psychcentral.com/ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science- success/201010/the-cure-loneliness http://www.rollingstone.com http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/08/20/lonely- planet.html http://www.thinksimplenow.com/clarity/bounce-back/ http://www.tinybuddha.com/blog/7-steps-to-move-through-shame- fear-and-regret/ http://www.wikihow.com http://www.wikipedia.org/

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