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Self-Help/Humor $14.95 44 Life Lessons to Bring You Years of Glee, Passion, and Chutzpah You’ve heard it said again and again since childhood…avoid those seven deadly sins: lust, anger, pride, sloth, envy, gluttony, and greed (insert “boo-hiss” here). Oh yes, you know they’re wicked, you do your best to beat them down. But what if, just what if, you should be basking in these baddies rather than shunning them? What if a life reveling in the seven sins would bring you overwhelming happiness, never-ending fulfillment? And what if there were seven other sins that you really should be dodging? In The 7 Lively Sins, best-selling author Karen Salmansohn turns the familiar sins on their heads and dares us to indulge in them with gusto. What’s more, she unmasks the seven so-much-deadlier sins: emotional masochism, guilt, fear, repression of self-expression, need for speed, worry, and apathy. These are the real spirit-killers, so watch out for them! If they sneak into your life, you’re guaranteed a joyless future. But if you welcome those seven lively sins, well, a good time will be enjoyed by all. So be lustful! Be greedy! Be happy, dammit! KAREN SALMANSOHN is the best-selling author of How to Be Happy, Dammit; How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers; and the Alexandra Rambles On series for ’tween readers. She is the founder of Glee Industries, an SALMANSOHN award-winning image consulting and book packaging firm serving clients such as MTV, KAREN Nickelodeon, Oxygen Media, and Avon. Salmansohn is also a regular lifestyle reporter for how to FOX TV. She lives in New York City. ISBN 1-58761-173-2 enjoy your life, dammit 5 1 4 9 5 0 28195 61173 3 9 781587 611735 author of How to Be Happy, Dammit info area - do not print 25% magenta PMS Rubine Red cvc 27% cyan + 5% magenta Dancing Sequins / pattern 707 / Shade 100 91% yellow + 7% cyan knock out to background 100% black 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page i 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page ii ii 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page iii how to enjoy your life, dammit karen salmansohn CELESTIAL ARTS Berkeley / Toronto 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page iv Copyright © 2003 by Karen Salmansohn Photography and Illustrations copyright © 2003 by Don Zinzell All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except brief excerpts for the purpose of review, without written permission of the publisher. A Kirsty Melville Book Celestial Arts PO Box 7123 Berkeley, California 94707 www.tenspeed.com Distributed in Australia by Simon and Schuster Australia, in Canada by Ten Speed Press Canada, in New Zealand by Southern Publishers Group, in South Africa by Real Books, in Southeast Asia by Berkeley Books, and in the United Kingdom and Europe by Airlift Book Company. Concept and book packaging by Glee Industries, formerly known as Amazon Girl, Inc. Cover and book design by zinzell — www.zinzell.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Salmansohn, Karen. The 7 lively sins : how to enjoy your life, dammit / Karen Salmansohn. p. cm. ISBN 1-58761-173-2 (pbk.) 1. Women — Conduct of life. 2. Self-actualization (Psychology) 3. Seven deadly sins — Miscellanea. I. Title: Seven lively sins. II. Title. BJ1610 .S34 2003 179'.8-dc21 2002015145 First printing, 2003 Printed in Singapore 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 – 07 06 05 04 03 iv 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 1 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 2 2 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 3 YOU. 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 4 Silly YOU. You used to be known amongst your friends as “THE GREAT ENTERPAINER.” 4 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 5 You loved to “enterpain” everyone with your amusing stories of disappointment, pain, woes, conflict, and miffed-ness. And everyone laughed…ha,ha,ha… and begged you to tell them all yet another funny/sad/bitter/sweet plot development in that movie-for-one called your life. 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 6 During this time you even felt CONVINCED that your life NEEDED disappointment, pain, woes, conflict, and miffed-ness…IN ORDER TO BE INTERESTING. 6 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 7 And of course you wanted your life to be interesting. Who wouldn’t? 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 8 THE ANSWER: 5,678,389,261* people in China, that’s who. *(Um, give or take 456,987,001. You forget exactly how many people live in China right now.) 8 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 9 In China, you’ve been told, they use the word “interesting” as a curse. “May you live in interesting times,” the Chinese tell a person they wish to punish. Which confused you. You wanted your life to be interesting… NOT A PUNISHMENT. Or did you? 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 10 It was then that you wondered: 10 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 11 Did you — on some secret level — want to punish yourself? 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 12 Did you — 12 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 13 on some secret level — or even not so secret level — feel guilty about attaining too much — too much pleasure, too much enjoyment, too much glee? 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 14 You thought about this deeply… and that’s when you realized (CLUNK!)… 14 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 15 geez, you were a SILLY YOU. It’s silly to feel bad when you start to feel good. And that’s when you realized… 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 16 LIFE LESSON #1 You’ve got to stop with the enterpainment already! You deserve pleasure, happiness, glee, victory, joy, ardor, devotion, commitment, harmony, balance, comfort! 16 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 17 And all these can be interesting and entertaining — without all the enterpainment options. Lots of people enjoy stories with happy endings — and, dammit, it’s time you became one of these lots. It’s good to feel good about feeling good. Even when it comes to your love life. Especially when it comes to your love life. That’s when you also realized… 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 18 LIFE LESSON #2 LOVE MINUS PAIN DOES NOT = PLAIN OL’ LIKE. LOVE CAN INDEED COME IN A PAIN-FREE FORMULA. 18 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 19 Sadly, you didn’t always know this. You used to joke, “I relate to those feisty Europeans who use the words ‘passion’ and ‘suffering’ interchangeably.” 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 20 You used to joke,“If there IS such a thing as life on other planets,then the way we’ll be able to tell if they’re more advanced than us is NOT by asking to see their technology…but by finding out if they have dating. If they don’t — then they’re a more evolved species.” 20 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 21 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 22 Yes, you were quite a kidder — only you were never quite sure if you were kidding. 22 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 23 Yes, at this lowly point in your life you no longer believed in attraction… in fact you thought it should be renamed subtraction because it had soooo many minuses. Yes, you doubted lust could last. Not only did you believe lust died… you thought it deadly…a deadly sin. Yes, you were a silly you. Thankfully you aren’t so silly anymore. Now you know… 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 24 LIFE LESSON #3 JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS A CAUSE FOR LUST DOES NOT MAKE THEM A LOST CAUSE. LUSTING CAN BRING LOTS OF EVERLASTING, EVERLUSTING LOVE. 24 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 25 You can be lovable without being leavable. Lust is not a foe… Nor a faux friend. Which brings you to… 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 26 LIFE LESSON #4 LUSTING DOES NOT DESERVE ITS LISTING AS 1/7TH OF THE WORLD’S MOST DEADLY SINS. Lust is even quite lively… helps your spirit feel quite alive... 26 7SIN F aug15:7SIN F 8/24/15 3:10 PM Page 27 When you act on lust you are acting on SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES…because lust is an expression of WANTING TO CONNECT…TO EXPRESS STRONG LOVE…which is what the spirit is all about.