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Statistical Department from start to flnish, for Mr. Bell and A Frisco Booster each of his readers. Mallie King, Reporter Operator Miller: "Look here at this Our chief clerk, D. M. Todd, accom- message, how do you spell 'Tallahas- panied by his wife, are spending two see'?" weeks in the south-Galveston, New Orleans, etc. During Todd's absence Collins Reed: "My typewriter don't C. W. Martin, traveling accountant is spell very good, especially on a cold acting as chief clerk. day like this." The first day of quail season Claude The South end has certainly helped Jarratt and Claude Emery went a the farmers care for a great amount hunting, a rabbit to get, and for all of cotton this year, the largest crop we know that rabbit's running yet. in several years. Agent Haigh, at However, later in the week they went Davidson, says he gets excited in his again and shot seven quails and the sleep and thinks the mattress is a tail off of a rabbit. bale of cotton. Mrs. Julia Bassett, who has been in Dan Callahan: "Engine 775 doubled the Frisco Hospital at St. Louis, is into Lathan last evening account too home again and is getting along much tonnage." nicely. Guy Oldham: "That's nothing, I Mrs. B. C. McDonald, of Camden, doubled last night, too, account eating Ark., who is known to us as Irene too much." Cornwell, paid us a nice visit and was John Morgan: "When these balance entertained at a noon luncheon by the sheets won't balance I just wish I girls in the office. could vanish." Our file clerk received a package Tessie Smith: "Did you ever try from St. Louis from Mr. Kerr, con- vanishing cream?" taining a khaki suit. Said she didn't know whether to give it to the Sal- Dispatcher 0. J. Storm has just re- vation Army or to the cleaners, as it turned from a vacation spent in the surely needed the cleaners attention. east; states he likes New York alright However, upon interviewing him upon but takes him too long to see the his return, found out he rode the en- town. gine on No. 4 to St. Louis, and from Ada Dillon, steno to chief clerk, JAMES RICH, all indications must have been com- evidently believes in doing her Warehouseman at Cabool, Mo. bination coal and oil burner, with Mr. Christmas shopping early. She so- Ken- acting fireman. journed to Oklahoma City, about the "Limericks" Engineer 'John Moore was born in middle of November, for what pur- Submitted by Roy Bendoff 12. 1878. pose, of course, we do not know, un- Peirce City, Mo., on January less it was that she was looking for The June-bug is a foolish bug That being the most important fea- Santa. With scarcely any mind- ture in his life, it is quite natural to He roams across the field at night note it first. G. W. Durkee: "Pretty muddy but. With his headlight on behind. On January 1, 1901. Mr. Moore be- a fine day over head." gan firing with the Frisco out of Walt Kennedy: "Yes, but not very The Bugamist Monett, and was promoted to become many going that way." A June-bug married an angle worm an engineer on August 1, 1907. An accident cut her in two, While on the extra board at Monett, At the present writing Mrs. A. They charged the bug with bigamy. he ran three ways, down the Central, Campbell is in a hospital at Oklaho- Now what could the poor thing do? Kansas and Southwestern divisions ma City, having undergone an oper- and had a regular run between Mo- ation a short time ago. While her A City and a chorus girl nett and Sapulpa, on the Southwest- condition has not been reported very Are much alike, it's true- ern, the last seven years. encouraging past few days, we under- A city is built with outskirts, stand she is now beginning to im- A chorus girls is, too. At present Engineer Moore is "cap- prove. We hope for her speedy re- tain" of Engine 4,114, one of the new covery and early return to her oil burners. He is described by one of family at Enid. When Eve brought woe to all man- his associates as a "great big, red- kind, faced, jolly, good natured Irish boy, Hi Harriss: "Did you ever 'see a Old Adam called her woe-man; always willing to do more than his blue negro?" But when she wooed with love so share of work. He loves to smoke Carl Brewer: "Now don't get funny, kind. his Missouri cob pipe, and when John I've heard of those read newspapers, He then pronounced her woo-man. gets the fog coming out of that pipe, green rose bushes and brown shoe But now with folly and with pride. full strength, it has the same effect blackening before." Her husband's pockets trimmin' as a booster cut in on the 4,114." The ladies are so full of whims Hi: "Yes, but did you see that green That people call them w(h)immen. black board uptown?" P. D. Hayes, chief clerk in sup&in- To a hen, said Henry Ward Beecher: Western Division tendent's office, is in the St. Louis "You are such a beautiful creature." Transportation Department Hospital at this time for removal of The hen just for that, appendix, which we hope will be suc- Laid an egg in his hat, Our Slogan-Boost or Blow cessful and speedy. We need that And thus did the hen reward Bee- A. L. Kinkade and Elma Williams, light. cher. . Reporters We are sorry to report the death of C. A. Piper on November 2nd. Con- Once I heard a mother utter: Employes on the Western join in ductor Piper has been in the service "Daughter, go and shut the shutter." sending an unbustable good wish and of this company twenty-six years. "Shutter's shut," the daughter mut- hearty cheer for a very Merry Christ- Our heartfelt sympathy is extended tered, mas and the best of a New Year, the family in their sorrow. "I can't shut it any shutter." Page 40

wages, and to the public, on the other FATHER AND SONS hand, lower freight rates. The books of the railroads are open. They make regular reports to various GIVE 108 YEARS SERVICE Government bureaus, and just as reg- ularly these reports are published to the country. There would appear to be no chance for misrepresentation of the significance of these reports, but it is a fact that few people read statis- tical reports of this sort, and there- fore are easy subjects for false propa- ganda. The spuriousness of the charge that railway profits have in- creased at a phenomenal rate is evi- dent from a bare comparison of in- creases in revenues with increases in operating expenses and investment. The year 1916 was the most prosper- ous year of American railroads before the war and the year 1923 the most prosperous since the war. Between the two there was a net change in operating revenues of $2,692,714,261, as shown by records of the railroails and of the Government, this figure representing an increase for 1923 over 1916. This fact is often pointed out by anti-railroad propagandists. Its companion figure, which no compari- son can ignore, showing operating ex- penses of the roads during the same period increased $2,770,843.322 is not mentioned in such propaganda. The showing is, that far from becoming swollen with excess earnings, the rail- BEN McCRUR.1 RAY McCRUM roads of the country, with a constant increase in investment, are today ac- Now Pensioned-52 Years in Service Engineer in Kansas City District tually returning $78,129,061 less net income than in 1916. Railroads today The McCrums-Ben, the Father, and his sons, Ray and Paul, have a com- are paying $1,419,474.487 more for bined service record of 108 years with the Frisco Lines. labor than they did in 1916, and $174,- 802,087 more for taxes, in addition to greater cost of fuel, materials, and hire of equipment. The obvious denouement, if not the OIL RECORDS OF ENGINEER HYNES intentional goal, of such propaganda The following oil records were kept by Engineer J. Hynes aud turned in is Government ownership through wrecking private ownership. If the to the assistant fuel agent: people of this country want Govern- Oct. lst, Engine 3,742, Engineer Hynes, Fireman Sims ...... 314 gals. 8 hrs. ment ownership of the railroads they 6 have reason to commend the constant " 2nd " 3,749 " " Lunch ...... 416 “ " " harrying and misrepresentation to " 3rd " 3,742 " I. Delaney ...... 385 "".'55 Mins. ' which the railroads are subjected. If " 4th " 3,751 " ...... 340 " " " they do not want Government owner- " 5th " 3,745 " ...... 304 " " " 10 “ ship, they should rouse themselves to rebuke such tactics which seek to " " 3,746 " 608 """25 " 6th ...... cripple the utility most important to " 7th " 3,745 " ...... 550 " ""50 " ' the welfare and prosperity of the " 8th " 3,749 " ...... 451 " " " country. , " 9th " 3,742 " ...... ,520 " " " 2 " " 10th " 3,751 " ...... 519 " ""30 " Jerry, The Office Boy, Tells How " 11th " 3,745 " ...... 444 " " " 25 " ' to Play Bridge, and, " 12th " 3,746 " ...... 404 "".' ' Occasionally Poker " 13th " 3,745 " I...... 395 """ ' This here guy, Eddie Bernard, has " 14th " 3,751 " '...... 361 " " " been telling you folks how to play golf. And from what I gather 'round the building, the right wav to play it is to read what he has to The Attack on the Railroads ganda operates principally through say and then forget that you ever jnggling of figures of railroad income, (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram.) read it. creating--. a sl)urious -~ showing- of enor- Now golf is too .tame for me. I American railroads for several nlous increases in rail revenues dur- never could quite get the idea of slap- years have been subjected to a relent- ing the past few years. Much of the ping an inoffensive little white pellet less propaganda which, if it were La Follette campaign in the recent around the pasture. That ball never once successful, would cripple if it elections was predicated upon this pic- did nothing to me, and I ain't mad at did not destroy the country's trans- ture of the country's railroads swolIen nobody, so why should I hit it in the or tat ion system in its present form with DrosDerity and ilenying to their slats? Besides I am a uroficient liar bf private- ownership. his propa- employes, on the one ha&, increased anyway. January, 1925

Frisco Peaches If it's your husband you are playing Always Working for the Frisco with, go about with a little more diplomacy. Pleasantly remark, "Gee, I hate to play with my own husband. George don't know how to play this anyway, but I don't dare tell him so, except in company. Say, fathead, what did you do that for?" Never return your partner's lead. He leads to get that card out of his hand and won't expect you to pay any attention to it. Besides, you prob- ably know how to play the game bet- ter than he does anyway. With these few rules you can play a good game of bridge at any Thursday night bridge club. Try 'em. Next month 1'11 tell you how to play poker.

"OZARKS"

Every person has his or her idea of what a "God's country" really is. I am no exception, and I am forced by nothing more or less than pride to admit that the Ozarks happen to hit the spot. Oh, yes, I was born at the foot of them, but that has no Lucille Birmingham (left), step- bearing on the matter. I have been ENGINEER JOHN PJOORE daughter of Pumper S. Ennis, and her out of them more than once, but no One of the best-known and best- cousin Lillie Birmingham, on the sun- more than I could help. liked trainmen of the Frisco Lines. ny hills along the FRISCO, one mile We have our springs, rivers, caves. An engineer with an enviable record. south of Miller, Mississippi. gulfs and other natural wonders, and this country would make one of the finest government reserves in the world. There is every reason to be- But bridge, whist and poker. lieve that some day we will have Hear Dem Bells Now you're right in my kitchen. just that. We have the fish galore, What it takes to play them games squirrels, rabbits, quail and every- "Is this the speedometer?" she I've got. What there is to learn thing but bear, and other real mean asked, as she tapped on the glass about, I have learned, and paid tui- animals. Believe me, if I had Edgar which covered that instrument. tion, too. A. Guest's gift for about five minutes, "Yes, dear," I replied in a sweet, I'd have a big bunch of you readers gentle voice. Let us first consider bridge, because down to see how much truth there is that is the easiest game in the world in my article. It's all truth without "Don't they call this the dashlight?" if you know how to play it, and from an exception and it's truly a wonder- she queried, fingering the little nickel- what I hear, there is 90 per cent of ful country. plated illuminator. America knows how-they admit it. The Grand Gulf is located about "Yes, honey." My words floated out In the first place, always trump seven miles out from Thayer, Mo., softly as before. your partner's ace. That will produce and Mammoth Spring is only two and "And this is the cutout?" she in- results. Try it. one-half miles from Thayer. Greer quired. In bidding remember that you are Spring is about twenty-five miles out "Yes, toodles," as I took my foot bidding just for excitement anyway, from Thayer, by way of Alton, which off the accelerator. Not more than and, if your partner's blood pressure is the county seat of Oregon County. 200 feet away our course was blocked is high, he will appreciate your bid- Then, we have the Gasconade, a beau- by a fast moving freight train. ding "three spades" with the ten tiful river noted for the fine catches spot high. "But what on earth is this funny that have been made there. Piney looking pedal?" she said in a curious Every bid should mean something. river, out from Cabool, is a wonderful tone, as she gave the accelerator a That one does. It means a riot and place for a nice day. Roaring River vigorous push with her dainty foot. a police call, and you'll get all the is another natural beauty whicb excitement you crave. should not be overlooked, and is now "This, sweetheart, is Heaven." I said in a soft, celestial voice, as 1 Lead always from an ace. What's fighting for second place as the world's next largest spring, ~Mam- picked up a golden harp and flew the sense of having the ace in your away.-Yale Record. hand otherwise. Don't pay any at- moth Spring being considered largest. tention to the books about bridge, If this conntry were flashed on the they were written by guys who have screen like Switzerland, Colorado, played all their lives, and probably California and other beautiful places, have gone stale playing. we would have an innumerable lot of What Is a Mountain Pass? If you're playing with your wife, tourists down to see just what a real always say. "What in the world did "God's country" is. We'll give you Lesson in geography. Teacher asks you do that for? Don't you know any hints that will help, and you'll son of a railroad man, "What is a that's wrong?" That is sure to make never go half way across the conti- mountain pass?" a happy evening, and, after the guests nent to see natural beauties when you "A mountain pass," said the pupil, have left, you can amuse yourself have them at home. The Frisco Lines is a pass given by a railroad to its picking the rolling pin splinters from will bring you to the beauties of this employes so that they can spend their your scalp. wonderful section. Come visit us. vacations in' the mountains." Page 42

. . Love Letters NIGHT LETTER Ernest Carstensen, from Ft. Smith, By Dave Thornton St. Louis, Mo., Dec. 7th, 1924. honored us with a visit the other day. Dear Molly, I read your sweet lines We are always glad to see Ernest as Dear Molly, my heart has the fidgets he used to belong to our fold. for thee; with delight. While dining on hot dog au Crisco; B. G. Watkins says he has some And oh! with sad tears in my eyes, persimmons preserved which will I plead that you come o'er the But to dinners like this I shall soon say "Good night." soon be good. Hope it doesn't turn FRISCO to me, out to be brandy. For the "Special" from Texas it If 't once yo211 come over the FRISCO, S. E. Baer is the same old "bear." flies. He will step out to banquets now and Oh! why bo you linger? Oh! why do To have a ticket I've sent you a check, With assurance you don't run the then. you mtay Before closing, we want to wish Down in Te~aswith all your young risk of Being thrown from a window and everyone a Very Merry Xmas and a charme. Happy and Prosperous New Year. When the FRISCO can bring you in breaking your neck. less than s day, When yo; ride the steel trains of Sure and safe to your own lover's the FRISCO. Office of Operating Department arms ? Statisti~ian-Sprin~iield IIallie L. King, Reporter A week has elapsed since you wrote, Office Supervisor Car Repair By the time this Is ready for you to dearest Jewel, Bills read, the Christmas rush will be upon You'd be led on my arm to the altar, us; we will be wondering what the With joy in your willing heart- P. F. Spangler is entertaining his day will bring forth. Here's hoping, not like a mule, sister and children from London, girls, that you mill be strutting new Which Is led here and there by a England. (notice I said new) diamond rings, halter! Our chief clerk. E. I<. Caldaell, bar pins or wrist watches, and here's But this moment, dear sweetheart, spent his vacation in Cincinnati and hoping, fellows, you'll at least get my soul knows no joy, Kansas City. something new to drape around your Because it would seem you've forgot W. E. Vaughan, the newlywed in neck-tie or muffler. There's an old, That the FRISCO is running its our office, says his wife is a wonder- old saying, "It is more blessed to trains; and oh, boy! ful cook. Judging from the tasteful give than to receive." A hint to the They always get there on the dot! menus he quotes, she surely must be. wise is enough, so take heed and do Look out for the grocer's bill. your stuff. Oh! think not, sweet maiden, your Lois Hughes has excited the sus- After Christmas is over, then we love is misplaced. picions of the office with her sewing begin to think of New Year and the For I've loved you since ever I met during noon hour. She says "they" making of resolutions. Not going to YOU ; are Xmas presents. How about it, make any this year? Well, all right. Don't break our engagement, but to Lois? It is better to make none at all than me make haste, Gladys Hooper is wearing a new to make a whole string and then not So the "Coyote" of Texas can't get diamond ring, but hasn't named the live up to them. Just like getting up you! day. steam on a locomotive that never Dear darling, don't tarry; right now Lillian Yates seems to be getting goes anywhere; all the fuel goes to say you will thinner. Wonder if she is on a diet waste. Come over the FRISCO to me, or in love? Marguerite O'Brien resolved last A space in my life and my roadster We notice in the last issue of the year to quit chewing gum, but I think to fill. Magazine the Kansas City Mechanical she bit off more than she could chew, Which no one can fill, dear, bllt Department inquiring about our because she just will chew, even if it thee! traveling car inspector, J. T. Williams. is nothing but the rag. -Clarence. We wonder ourselves. The last we Feirba Justice has resolved to keep heard, Monett was the center of at- her temper, for she says she has Dear lover, yon ask me in verses traction. found out that nobody else wants it tear-stained, As for S. P. Enslen and C. F. David- anyway. To come o'er the FRISCO to you, son, we have ceased trying to keep Dora Weigle resolved to leave OK Because you are lonesome and wish up with them long ago. her little white apron, since it makes to be chained "Blanlr" (R. G. Blankenbaker) has one of the traveling accountants To a better half, tender and true! the radio fever so we don't expect think of a sewing circle, pink tea, etc. For assurance you've had, dear, for much work Prom him. Cuma Magers recently drove over- several days J. B. Rogers attended the Poultry land to Wichita, Kans., but didn't I'm jnst wild to be proud Nrs. Shop at Kansas City. He had some come back that way. Says the guy Bratton ; "big fellows" to compete with, but that said the roads were fine must Then no longer I'll hear your com- managed to carry off some of the have been named "Mud." plaints on cafes, honors. He has some fine birds of Russell James, traveling accountant Since I'll cook you good meals to the Wyandotte variety. out of Mr. Perkin's office. while in get fat on! Cora Wolkins and Lela Pride at- Springfield, gives a pretty good line- tended the White Shrine dance and UP on his whereabouts, even up until I linger in Texas because I'm con- had a wonderful time. "Three o'clock in the Morning." Any strained Miss Blood and Miss Wymer have of the girls wishing to get into com- To do so (despite my young some narcissus bulbs, which are grow- munication with him at any hour. charms) ing nicelv, and we will probably have please call 75 for full information. Oh! think not my love for you, dear-. flowers for Christmas. Wonder how our "used to be" est, is feigned; "Jerry" Anderson is vacationing in office boy, Cecil Jones, likes Sapulpa For I long to be held in your arms! Tulsa. He being the only single fel- by this time? If he gets along as But, sweetheart, there's one thing you low in the office, we keep pretty close well, and likes the place and people do not consider: tab on him. as well as Lewis Blevans does Monett, Namely this, that in Texas I'm Gee! It must be great to spend a he'll never come back. stranded ; whole month in California, and on ar- George Dunlap says Nenburg is a And, therefore, I plead that you ask riving home have a brand new Ford good place to leave, or did you say yourself whether coupe waiting for you to drive it live ? One can start on a trip empty around. That's what Helen Yates did, John Randolph Edwards. F. P. C. handed? and she keeps the new "Lizzy" navi- at Enid, says it keeps him busy mov- -Molly. gating, too. ing to keep from paying rent.