Early Edition All the fan-fictional news that a cadre of Partly inky today, with loyal DTWOF readers clear patches. Tonight, saw fit to make up. much darker with a sharp increase of crosshatching.

HAPPY 25TH Peace Rally on Fifth Anniversary of Iraq ANNIVERSARY Invasion THE ESSENTIAL DYKES By Anna Beek TOWATCH OUT FOR n the fifth anniversary of the US inva- Osion of Iraq, it appears that disapproval of the Iraq Invasion is as alive as ever.A small but dedicated group gathered downtown to ALISON BECHDEL is the author of protest the US presence in Iraq and call for the best-selling Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, withdrawal of the troops there. Time’s number one Best Book of 2006 and a The protest began in the late morning. National Book Critics Circle Award finalist. Participants gathered in the Main Street Since 1983 she has been chronicling the Square, under the leadership of local anti- lives of various characters in Dykes to Watch war activist Stuart Goodman. From the Out For, named by Utne magazine as “one of square they marched approximately three the greatest hits of the twentieth century.” miles and through many busy thoroughfares For longtime fans of Alison Bechdel and the to the local Army Recruiting Headquarters. new fans of the graphic-memoir phenome- At their destination, Mr. Goodman spoke non Fun Home, this edition collects the best briefly about the need to recall US forces selections from her Dykes to Watch Out For from Iraq immediately,and the general need strip—“one of the preeminent oeuvres in for peace in the world, alternately brandish- the comics genre, period” (Ms.). ing a “No Blood for Oil” sign and tending to For twenty-five years Bechdel’s path- his young daughter. “This war is a travesty,” breaking strip has been collected in award- he declared, stomping for emphasis on his winning volumes (with a quarter of a mil- makeshift podium—but in the next lion copies in print), syndicated in fifty moment turning aside to say “Now, J.R., alternative newspapers, and translated into don’t bother that dog.” He continued, “Far many languages. Now, at last, The Essential too many have died for this war to be con- Dykes to Watch Out For gathers a “rich, funny, scionable by any standard of ethics—here, deep and impossible to put down” (Publishers sweetie, don’t kick the podium; I have some Weekly) selection from all eleven Dykes vol- local apple leather for you—” as he set to umes. Here too are sixty of the newest rummaging through the pockets of his kilt. strips, never before published in book form. The protesters were generally patient Settle in to this wittily illustrated soap with Goodman’s divided attention, and opera (Bechdel calls it “half op-ed column were receptive to his speech. However, an and half endless serialized Victorian novel”) Fun Home, but I have been following Dykes “I have had such a crush on Alison undercurrent of futility ran through the of the lives, loves, and politics of a cast of to Watch Out For since it began twenty five Bechdel for so long! Um, well, obviously crowd, as was demonstrated by the lengthy characters, most of them lesbian, living in a years ago. Bechdel is astonishingly percep- it’s destined to remain unrequited”, he con- diatribe of one protester. “We’ve been at this midsize American city that may or may not tive. I find myself agreeing with her almost tinued, blushing.“But seriously, Dykes to Watch so long,” said Monica Testa, beginning at a be Minneapolis. always.” Out For is a clever depiction of a group of mutter but gradually rising to rival Her brilliantly imagined countercultural We asked Testa if she was referring to oddballs, mostly but not all lesbians, mostly Goodman’s amplified voice. “We’ve been band of friends—academics, social workers, Bechdel’s left-leaning politics. Frowning but not all left-wing, and how they build protesting for more than five years now, and bookstore clerks—fall in and out of love, slightly, she replied, “What other politics their own community day by day. It’s a soap for what? Congress isn’t responding to us. negotiate friendships, raise children, switch would any sensible person have?” She opera, but it’s a lot more than that too.” Bush is a lost cause! What do we need to do careers, and cope with aging parents. began to pound her fist on her desk. “These He broke off the conversation to stop to make ourselves heard?” She continued at Bechdel fuses high and low culture—from days, when the lawless Bush administration Jiao Raizel, who appeared to be giving her- some length. foreign policy to domestic routine, hot sex is seeking to overthrow everything decent self an amateur mud facial. We continued As Mr. Goodman spoke, a small counter- to postmodern theory—in a serial graphic about America, we need more left wing pol- on our way. protest of war supporters—hastily organ- narrative “suitable for humanists of all per- itics.” She grabbed our shirt and began to English professor Ginger Jordan told us ized the previous night through various suasions.” shake us. “Society is being reduced to a jun- that dialogue was central to Dykes to Watch Out conservative internet forums—began to The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For, after the gle! We’ll have to form an anti-war militia! For. “It’s not just that the characters never congregate on the opposite side of the runaway success of Fun Home, is sure to bring Weapons training begins next week!” shut up,” she told us, “especially my ex- street. Throughout Mr. Goodman’s speech new fans to Bechdel’s revealing and endear- Finally noticing that our teeth were rattling, housemates.There is internal dialogue in the they heckled and chanted slogans defending ing comic strip masterwork. Testa stopped and sat back. “I need to get strip, in which the drawings comment on the war and the president’s actions. back to work”, she said, and went to shush the text, and the characters’ personal lives Cynthia Pharr-Wright, a graduate stu- a couple of teenagers whose voices had risen reflect political events.” So there you have it. dent at Buffalo Lake State University,claimed Book Review slightly above a whisper. When the wind howls and the rain drums credit for organizing the counter-protest. A different perspective was provided by against the windows, we know which book “These people need to be challenged on By Andrew Burday graduate student Cynthia MacGruder. “You we’ll be curled up with. How about you? what they’re saying,” she said in a brief know”, she began, “there’s this perception interview. “They can’t just go around crying Local Residents Comment that every lesbian is a weed-eating left-wing ——— that war is bad and Bush is evil. In this case, on New Bechdel Tome pacifist. What I like about Bechdel is that the occupation is a necessary operation, and even though that’s pretty much what she is, should continue until Iraq’s situation has Hermes Tricksteristus she’s still capable of representing lesbians stabilized.” who don’t fit the image.” Pharr-Wright declined to comment on a he days are getting shorter, the leaves are We found stay-at-home dad Stuart young woman bearing a “Dykes for T turning, the nights are getting cooler — Goodman at a local playground with his Immediate Withdrawl” sign who crossed it’s autumn, time to grab a blanket and snug- daughter, Jiao Raizel. Goodman began the the street several times to speak with her. gle up with a good book. The publishing conversation by asking us to sign his peti- The young woman heckled Pharr-Wright event of the season is best-selling author tion to deport all registered Republicans to during our interview, calling “Why don’t Alison Bechdel’s massive new collection, The shrinking ice floes in the Arctic Ocean until you tell them where you were last sum- Essential Dykes to Watch Out For. We decided to they agree to act on global warming. When mer?” Pharr-Wright claims that last summer take a walk around town and see what some we said that that sounded unconstitutional, she was attending an occupational training local residents thought of the book. Goodman muttered something about how program. the Constitution was abrogated in Librarian Mo Testa spoke with us at her November 2000 anyway.But when we asked desk in the Nether Heights public library. ——— if he was familiar with Bechdel, he positive- “It’s fascinating how graphic works have ly gushed. become respectable”, according to Testa. “Bechdel became famous with her memoir © Liza Cowan details about this exciting sequel, the Legal marriage also would help same-sex not available for comment. However, Dr. spunky Miko says “but I’m not going to tell couples in the event that their relationships Sydney Krukowski, Plain State’s second you any more than that.” Stay tuned for dissolve, Ortiz said. “If both partners have choice for the position that the Ivy League- updates on The Chop Shop and our local equal resource to dispute resolution assis- bound Dr. Gilhoohey dropped like a sack of legend that is Miko Takagawa. tance, the personal tragedy of a breakup may organic, fair-trade potatoes, did offer these be easier to bear,” she said. remarks: “Dr. Gilhoohey was a friend and colleague. I was proud to work with her Same-sex Marriage despite that minor plagiarism incident of A New York Times hers. I’m convinced the accusation had no merit. Or at least, very little.” By Rebecca now in paperback bestseller, Dr. Krucowspie, who is not a genius, ollowing in San Francisco’s flower-child praised Gilhoohey as an “unexceptional Ffootsteps, City Hall threw open its doors FUN HOME instructor who was particularly gifted at to provide same-sex marriage, setting off a working the system.” Crookhooski added, A Family y spontaneous celebration of gay and lesbian “And by the way, it’s pure, unsubstantiated h a

F Tragicomic

l partnerships throughout the region. The speculation that Betsy’s partner Bitsy was the e a h renegade move cements 2004 as a year to brains behind Betsy’s seminal work, “Speck c i

M remember, while also raising questions that and Spectacle: Proletarian Impotence and

© ALISON the city could be embroiled in lengthy and BECHDEL the Lure of Championship Wrestling.” expensive legal battles as a consequence of Despite having never been considered for The Chop Shop its decision to offer legal unions to gay and even the MacArthur Fellowship’s long list, The Daily Distress lesbian couples. “A splendid Dr. Sydney Crackhouseski is a popular Plain Community Profile In the short run, the mayor’s surprise autobiogra- State U. professor in the social sciences, move sparked more party invitations than phy . . . refreshingly open and teaching such classes as “Disorder, generous.”—Entertainment by Jesse Nachem, contributor prenuptial agreements. Male and female Degeneracy and Deviance” and “Gender, couples turned up in droves to get their Weekly Class and Miniature Golf: The Social to The Daily Distress. papers, accompanied by frolicking flocks of Construction of Leisure.” friends, family and festivity.A few protesters “A pioneering work, pushing two Perfect! It’s like you read my mind,” Janis “Jealous?” repeated Dr. Kruelouseski, also turned up to register disapproval, rather genres (comics and memoir) in gushes to Miko Takagawa, owner of The when asked by this reporter if she felt any “ than wedding-gift options. But marriage multiple new directions . . . Chop Shop. “I always go with my instincts,” envy toward her former colleague. “Why participants said the unions were more than absorbing.”—New York Times Miko says modestly, as her new young cus- would I possibly feel jealous that Betsy has just a political stunt. Book Review tomer runs to her waiting mother to model received possibly the most prestigious award her new hairdo. “They’ve rarely steered me “This is about equal protection, pure and “Brilliant . . . a gripping story of in the academic community, and with it six wrong. Some people show resistance at first simple,” said Clarice Clifford, who married filial sleuthery.”—Time book offers, fourteen visiting professor but they always come around.” Toni Ortiz, her long-time partner in one of the day’s requests—“ civil ceremonies. The couple had already “Don’t forget the half-million dollar longtime customer, explains “I don’t know n this groundbreaking, best-selling graph- affirmed their partnership in an unofficial prize,” reminded Dr. Ginger Jordan, litera- why I insisted on keeping my mullet for so ic memoir, Alison Bechdel charts her commitment ceremony and also by having a I ture professor at Buffalo Lake State who long. Miko gave me the courage and the fraught relationship with her late father. In child together. Their son, Rafael Clifford- received her Ph.D from Plain State and for- vision to see myself without it.Thank good- her hands, personal history becomes a work ness!” Ortiz, made an early exit from Nether merly worked with both Krukowsky and Heights Elementary School to watch his of amazing subtlety and power, written with Miko has been the owner of The Chop Gilhoohey. mothers get hitched. controlled force and enlivened with humor, Shop for almost two decades and is the rich literary allusion, and heartbreaking Dr. Krukowsky, determinedly nonchalant Personal milestones weren’t the only author of Hair Stories, her book of antics detail. despite the steam rising from her ears, draw. Local activist Antonia Ortiz said City replied, “What is a little monetary compen- and adventures of a wily stylist working Alison Bechdel grew up in a small Hall’s move vindicated the principles of sation when compared to the opportunity to with changing customers, changing tastes, Pennsylvania town, in a Victorian house that Freedom To Marry, a local activist organiza- teach authentically curious young minds, and changing times. Gore Vidal-Sassoon her father was painstakingly restoring to its tion that has been campaigning for the gov- something Betsey will unfortunately be called it a “tonsorial tour-d-force,” and you period glory.Distant and exacting, her father ernment to recognize same-sex couples. She doing less and less as her schedule becomes can purchase a copy right in the salon. Miko was an English teacher and director of the praised the mayor’s decision to offer mar- choked by appearances on Charlie Pose, reminisced “I remember, at one point dur- town funeral home, which Alison and her riages on the spot to all comers, particularly Refreshed Air, and Grunt Line?” ing the Reagan years I was buzzing seven- family referred to as the “Fun Home.” It was teen flat tops a week! That was just wild.” since the courts are more likely to consider Dr. Krukrotchety then excused herself to recognition of same-sex unions authorized not until college that Alison, who had Her experience spans decades of styles take a call from Professor Madeleine Zeugma before the new marriage procedures are recently come out as a lesbian, discovered and tastes. If you have an idea, Miko can of Dartridge College. While it would be bogged down by legal challenges. that her father was also gay. A few weeks make it happen. “Once, when I was in a after this revelation, Bruce Bechdel was unprofessional to say conclusively, this “It’s important that gays and lesbians rush to the drag show, and just wasn’t feel- dead, leaving a legacy of mystery for his reporter did hear a string of barely-muffled, have the same opportunities to affirm their ing my Max Axle persona, Miko hooked me daughter to resolve. A genre-busting work, particular explicit expletives erupt from the relationships as heterosexual couples,” said up,” says loyal customer, Lois McGiver. Fun Home is more than a must-read for beneath her office door, including, oddly Ortiz, Clifford’s partner and their son’s bio- “She’ll take good care of you,” she says with enthusiasts of the graphic form; as a thor- enough, Hoc est bellum, baby.” logical mother. “In addition to the tax bene- a wink. oughly moving work of literature, it is fits and next-of-kin privileges accorded to But this business savvy owner does more essential reading for everyone. legal spouses, officially recognized marriage than give good haircuts. Oftentimes she La Lentille D’Oh! also gives needed community recognition to serves as a confidant, and the salon as a cen- same-sex partnerships. With that support, ter of local gossip. “It’s like the eye of the these families are more likely to stay togeth- Plain State U. Prof By June Thomas storm. Luckily I’ve been able to stay out of er and raise happy, healthy children for the it. And it’s made great material for my Makes Us Proud Authenticity is the key to my food,” La next generation.” upcoming second book!” Pressed for more “Lentille D’Or’s new executive chef, Ellen Orleans Priscilla Parker-Carr, told me on a recent visit to our town’s go-to gathering spot for IT’S OFFICIAL: former Plain State the meat-shunning set. University professor Elizabeth “Betsy” Parker-Carr, or Moonboot Tofubucket as Gilhoohey is a genius. she was then known, broke into the restau- rant business in the mid-1980s at the Topaz n recognition of her landmark research on Café. “Before I came along, the Topaz was Ilesbian visibility and her medusa.com known for its creamed burdock with turnip bestseller, Argumentum Non Ad Nauseam: loaf. That dish was completely overex- Non-Depiction and Re-Commodification of posed—everybody ordered it. I revolution- Post-Lesbian Imagery in American Billboard ized eating in this town when I introduced Advertising, Dr. Gilhoohey has won a my signature dish: wheat-free, dairy-free MacArthur Fellowship. The fellowship pizza with no tomatoes.” Parker-Carr (informally known as “the genius grant”) describes that period as the watershed in recognizes individuals who have demon- our town’s gastronomic history. “The Topaz strated extraordinary originality and dedica- was always packed. It was terrible—there tion in their creative pursuits. By earning were so many women there every day, there this much-esteemed, much drooled-over was far too much socializing going on. award, Latin pun-loving Gilhoohey joins Diners spent as much time greeting friends such luminaries as Susan Sontag, Octavia and exes or mooning over the wait-staff as Butler, Allan Berube, and Bernice Johnson they did eating. I knew that model couldn’t Reagon. work. I said to myself,‘Moonboot, this is no At the time of the announcement, Dr. way to curate a culinary experience.’ I had to Gilhoohey—who accepted a position at be more assertive. For example, to symbol- Harvard shortly after being granted tenure at ize my opposition to the tyranny of choice Plain State—was delivering a series of lec- in restaurant eating, the D’Or now offers n

a tures at Stanford,Yale, and Oberlin, and thus just one beverage: rhubarb wine.” s u S © 2005 Chateau Locavore Rhubarb wine. In my years as a food critic, I have not come across such a wine. It is available by the glass ($6.50) or bottle ($24.95). The true standouts of the meal were the desserts. We ordered the Chocolate Orgasm ($5.25), which certainly lived up to its name, containing creamy chocolate mousse center. The Tasmanian Devil’s Food Delight ($5.25) had a hit of espresso in the frosting, which left us a bit jittery, but in a good way. The Ginger Pot Du Creme ($5.25) was so delectable, with a creamy base and little spicy bits of ginger, I found myself furtively licking the ramekin clean.

——— La Lentille D’Or at 2020 Hickock Avenue cross 20th, facing the park. Hours: Closed Monday, Tu-Th 5:30-8:45, F 6:00-9;21, S: 6:11-10:00, Sunday brunch 11-2PM. Middle School Hackers Media Services Hacked, Embarrassment Results

By Helene Newburg

or several hours last week, anyone in the Fschool system requesting a print job, web page or television broadcast on school grounds was treated to an in-depth analysis of an embarrassing affair. “In the dairy case” t-shirts popped up the same day, a reference to an off-color remark regrettably made by one of the women in the video broadcast. Although it remains unclear how, what is known is that someone broke into the media services network server and not only configured the school district domain name servers to allow access only to the Youtube webpage broadcasting what appears to be a domestic squabble between two women. Any classroom requesting a video through the campus closed-circuit television network was also treated to that same video, shown in a repeating loop. Pages printed through the campus network featured the last frame of the video instead of the requested text. The couple, Toni and Clarice, are local gay activists who at one point had a son and lived together, are now separated. Neither In the 1990s, Parker-Carr, developed her So, has Parker-Carr succeeded in her of bite sized tofu pierogies ($5.25), which could be reached for comment. That son food philosophy in seclusion. “I was doing attempt to bring authenticity to La Lentille contained chunks of turnips, cardamom appears to be in the center of the controver- new things with tempeh, pushing the d’Or? I’ll leave the official verdict to the seeds, raw garlic and ancho chiles. This sy. It is unclear whether he himself endorsed boundaries of health-code violations. I real- Daily Distress’ restaurant critic, but in this could only be described as undescribeable. the massive broadcast in a cry for help, or whether the display was mounted in protest ly thought my vision of a virtual macro- reporter’s opinion, the answer is a resound- For the main entree, our party selected of the apparent normalcy with which gay erotic community might come to some- ing yes.The kasha varnishkes tasted like they the Wheat-free, Dairy-free Pizza with No and lesbian families continue to live their thing, but a big Web site out of Seattle sewed were made with real varnish, the recipe for Tomatoes ($8.95). It was as light as air.The lives. up the market before we could spin off our seitan scramble surely came from Satan him- Vegetarian Meatloaf with Steamed French IPO.The synergy just didn’t come together.” self, and it’s hard to imagine that a chocolate Fries ($12.95) was a rather interesting low “While we condemn the miscreant who Parker-Carr channeled her grief at the mousse could taste more like moose. fat, vegan twist on the customary French disrupted computing services for the school failure of zukesandcukes.com into trans- cafe fare of Steak avec frites. district, and certainly don’t wish to see any more pain inflicted on the family involved, forming a beloved eatery. “Back in the ‘80s, Along with the entree, we tried the we do want to acknowledge that the pres- the Topaz was a date restaurant. People went Lentille D’Or review Curried Artichoke and Mung Bean Gumbo sures on gay and lesbian families are just like there to have fun. Such an insult to the ($13.95), which could only be described as those experienced by heterosexual families. food—all that nervous laughter ruins din- La Lentille D’Or Offers busy. The Creamed Burdock with Turnip Only we have to deal with the extra margin- ers’ concentration. Now we’re positioning Challenging Cuisine Loaf ($12.95) was an interesting choice for alization that you straight folks don’t, which ourselves as a place to break up: When you a cold spring day.Words cannot describe the makes things really difficult,” said Liz really need to focus on dividing your assets rather benthic (or perhaps pelagic) Tempeh by Letitia Constance Farkas-McLaughlin, of the local Freedom to or making tough custody decisions, come to Tunafish, Hijiki, Arugula Casserole Willard-Stokes Marry Coalition. Story on Collectible Card La Lentille d’Or. We’re also hoping to attract ($13.95), so I’d best not try. the infidelity set. La Lentille d’Or:When you Games he decor is subdued and organic, in Along with our meal, we were served a don’t want anyone you know to see you mostly olive green tones and beiges.The together.” T tablecloths and napkins are made of hemp The strategy seems to be working. The and recycled bamboo, as advertised on the last time I visited the restaurant, Clarice menu. The napkins were a bit rough, but Clifford and Antonia Ortiz were having a one of our party observed that they were spirited discussion of who should take pos- excellent for a little last minute exfoliation. session of their signed copy of Fun Home. We started with the brussels sprouts Later in the evening, Harriet Mortensen and tartare ($4.95), which was crisp with a tang Monica Testa appeared to be considering an of balsamic vinegarette, cilantro and dill illicit affair. “We had our first date at the chutney which almost masked the sulfurous Topaz,” Ms. Testa told me. “The mock mock crispy bite of the pureed raw brussels turtle soup is just as much of an aphrodisiac sprouts. Another appetizer was the selection today as it always was.” CAST BIOGRAPHIES

Mo

Occupation: Worrier and kvetch extraordinaire, with a job at now-defunct Madwimmin Books on the side. Mo has since graduated from library school. Impending Doom Alert Level: Orange Unchanging truth: A rhetorical, if not action- based, dedication to social justice combined with red and white striped shirts. Cats: the ever-present Virginia and Vanessa

Sydney

Occupation: Pretentious aca- demic engaged in epistemic and ontological interrogation of feminist positionalities. In More Pedestrian Terms: Mo’s part- ner, a tenured college professor and credit card debtor with a penchant for the theoretical and disdain for knee-jerk liberalism. Classes taught: Women’s Studies 101, Post- Everything Feminist Theory, and Gender, Class and Miniature Golf:The Social Construction of Leisure. Survived: Breast cancer, and terrible boundaries between herself and her father.

Clarice

Occupation: Environmental Lawyer Relationship: Mo’s first lover, subsequently civilly-united, married, and otherwise connected to Toni Cause of Sorrow: Realizing that the world seems to get worse no matter how many injunctions she wins against polluting factories. Intriguing Observation: For someone interested in revolutionizing society, she seems awfully cautious about change in her personal life.

Toni

Occupation: Accountant Relationship: Long-term (and long suffering) partner to Clarice, mother to Raffi Other Commitments: Freedom to Marry advocate, fast-walking with the beguil- ing Gloria and fending off skeptical heterosex- ual parents. Counterpoint to Whitebread Neighbors: She’s a suburban soccer mom with a twist.

towing the Budweiser float in their wake, is friend of mine pulls over to offer us a ride. Somewhere Over a colorful mainstay of the annual three-day A nice gesture, you’d think, but just because Lois the Rainbow event celebrating the LGBT community that the car is a Ford Exterminator or Extinction never fails to draw the counterculture or whatever, Stuart has a crisis of conscience Occupation At Madwimmin: crowds. and decides then and there to join our hand-sold books by provid- Gay Pride Still Marching ing quality service in any sit- This year’s Pride has something for friend Mo at Gay Shame. He hasn’t been Proudly On, reports Kelly uation back to Pride since,” she said, waving a hand urban hipsters and suburban soccer moms Occupation at Bounders Books’n’Muzak: Burke dismissively at the far side of the park. alike, with almost 70 booths offering such Processes pulpy publications. diverse items as synthetic leather baby chaps And indeed, a scrappy knot of anti-Gay Relationships:Too many to count- currently, t the stroke of noon yesterday, the phal- (”Save the environment: dispense with dia- Pride gay activists and allies were holding Jasmine Alic shadow of an enormous Bud Light pers” read the tag), alcohol-free “Pride court in a distant corner of the park, clus- Mentorships: Gender-blending role model to bottle crowed by a brilliant foam of drag Punch” and rainbow sno-cones. tered around an upside-down rainbow flag trans-identified Janis. queens in feather boas pierced our city’s fair Freedom to Marry activist Toni and waving signs denouncing the festival. Hobbies and interests: Drag performance, skyline as the first in a long line of floats Ortizpraised the festival for its overall “fam- “We’re not saying to be ashamed of being breathing fire with the Lesbian Avengers, one- night stands moved slowly towards Plummer Park for the ily friendliness” but noted sadly that there gay – don’t get us mixed up with that crazy official opening of this year’s Gay Pride was little to interest her son Rafael, who at Phelps clan,” said local activist and malcon- Festival. The parade, which was led by a age 14 has long outgrown books like tent Mo Testa, who appeared to see no irony rough-riding contingent of Dykes on Bikes “Heather Has Two Mommies” and can now in her own gesture of standing with one Ginger hardly be pried away from his video games Birkenstock-shod foot on an American flag. Occupation: Associate and what Ortiz characterizes as his “stoner “All we want to cultivate is contempt for the Professor of English at friends”. “I am concerned about him,” she commercial co-opting of queer culture by Buffalo Lake State confessed, her face wrinkling in a frown. “I corrupt and craven corporate clones,” she Residence: Shacking up with miss those days when he was little and I exclaimed, twisting her left sandal viciously Lois, Sparrow, Stuart and Jiao Raizel could just bring him along to Pride and have as she spoke. Perhaps the Gay Shame activists Relationship History: Several doomed romances him play with his toy dinosaurs while my, would like a round of sno-cones in this (including Jasmine) which failed because of uh, friend Gloria and I watched the heat? Testa and her compatriots accepted Ginger’s fear of commitment Current Fling: Shares a penchant for pooches crowds.” only grudgingly, but as this reporter left the scene she was followed by a chorus of satis- with paramour Samia. Her friend, NARAL lobbyist and self- On Her Nightstand:The Norton Anthology for fied slurps. Now that’s the way gay pride identified “bi-dyke” Sparrow Pidgeon, the College Student’s Soul, as well as “The agreed that attending Pride just isn’t what it should be celebrated. Many Moods of Hamlet: A Shakespearian Play”, used to be. “A few years ago I was on my as yet ungraded. way to Pride with Stuart, my male partner, ——— and our baby daughter Jiao Raizel in her stroller,” she explained, “when an ex-girl- For the complete cast of characters please visit dykestowatchoutfor.com